1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:03,120 Speaker 1: Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebina, a space where no 2 00:00:03,279 --> 00:00:07,360 Speaker 1: question is off limits and storylines become lifelines. The views 3 00:00:07,360 --> 00:00:10,400 Speaker 1: shared by our guests are meant to inform, entertain, and empower. 4 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:14,080 Speaker 1: From the laughs to the lessons. Just remember, tough times 5 00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:18,079 Speaker 1: don't last, but professional home girls do enjoy the show. 6 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:23,079 Speaker 2: This episode contains sensitive topics. Listener discretion is advice. 7 00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:32,640 Speaker 3: What's up, y'all? 8 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:37,240 Speaker 2: Inshagarra Ebine here and I hope all is cute. Okay, 9 00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:40,800 Speaker 2: welcome back to another episode of Pretty Private with eb 10 00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:44,320 Speaker 2: and A. Now, before we dive into this week's episode, 11 00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:46,080 Speaker 2: y'all know, I got to catch all up on my 12 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:50,159 Speaker 2: trip to Marcus Vineyard. Okay, now listen, I have to 13 00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:53,360 Speaker 2: go back. Like those four days I spent there just 14 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:56,320 Speaker 2: weren't enough time for me to be able to enjoy 15 00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:58,440 Speaker 2: the oland the way that I would have liked to 16 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:01,400 Speaker 2: enjoy the Alan Like. So, you know, I had this 17 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:04,800 Speaker 2: hosting gig, which, let me tell you, I body, I 18 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:07,640 Speaker 2: did such an amazing job. And let me tell y'all something, 19 00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:12,440 Speaker 2: manifestation is real. Manifestation is real, y'all. One of my 20 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:15,200 Speaker 2: prayers that I had for myself is the book more 21 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:17,920 Speaker 2: host than martyringe gigs because you know, look at the 22 00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:19,600 Speaker 2: other girls that's doing this, they be doing it for 23 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:22,480 Speaker 2: a while, and I'm like, you know, I'm witty, I'm smart, 24 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:23,160 Speaker 2: I'm pretty. 25 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:25,319 Speaker 3: You know, I can do this, and so I really 26 00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:25,959 Speaker 3: enjoy it. 27 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,480 Speaker 2: And how I know that I am working walking in 28 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:31,679 Speaker 2: my purpose because not only does it feel good, you know, 29 00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:34,560 Speaker 2: I feel very confident, but also you know, I'm walking 30 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:36,680 Speaker 2: down the streets in the finger and everybody just kept 31 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,920 Speaker 2: stopping me, telling me how much of a great job 32 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:43,880 Speaker 2: I did, asking me for my information, trying to book 33 00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:46,120 Speaker 2: me things of this nature. So you know, I was 34 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:50,720 Speaker 2: really excited about, you know, my just being able to 35 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:54,000 Speaker 2: say that I hosted an event at the Vineyard. So 36 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:56,720 Speaker 2: shout out to Sisters on the Vineyard for having me there. 37 00:01:57,160 --> 00:02:00,400 Speaker 2: It was really really so much fun. But I also 38 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:04,720 Speaker 2: feel like, especially if I'm working, I just need minimum 39 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:08,040 Speaker 2: a week. Four days was just not enough time. And 40 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:10,400 Speaker 2: just to give y'all just some behind the scenes like 41 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:13,440 Speaker 2: whenever I do have a gig, right, I don't drink 42 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:17,400 Speaker 2: like days before the actual event, stars like I'm like 43 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:20,880 Speaker 2: rehearsing a live shout out to my friend and maryor 44 00:02:20,919 --> 00:02:24,360 Speaker 2: he was definitely helped me prough for this event because sometimes, 45 00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:26,240 Speaker 2: like you know, I'm from New York, but I'm also 46 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:29,239 Speaker 2: from the South, so the down South accent be fighting 47 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:31,919 Speaker 2: with my New York lingo and it's just like, ah, 48 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:34,240 Speaker 2: so I have to really like take my time and 49 00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:36,880 Speaker 2: articulate and just you know, I want to make it 50 00:02:36,919 --> 00:02:40,360 Speaker 2: feel as natural as possible. And then plus I need 51 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:42,919 Speaker 2: eight hours of sleep, like I need to be fully 52 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:46,600 Speaker 2: rested so I can feel and look my absolute best. 53 00:02:46,639 --> 00:02:46,840 Speaker 4: You know. 54 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:50,640 Speaker 2: So once the event was old with, I really only 55 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:52,560 Speaker 2: had like a day and a half to like explore 56 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:55,320 Speaker 2: Marx's vineyard, and you know, I made the best out 57 00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:55,560 Speaker 2: of it. 58 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:56,160 Speaker 5: You know. 59 00:02:56,280 --> 00:03:00,040 Speaker 3: I had a lobster row, which was delicious, and I 60 00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:01,160 Speaker 3: don't know what they putting it on. 61 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:03,359 Speaker 2: I don't know what's no lobsters in Massachusetts, but I'm 62 00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:07,400 Speaker 2: telling y'all right now, hands down, that was one of 63 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:10,120 Speaker 2: the best lobster rows I ever had, and it was 64 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:10,960 Speaker 2: so big. 65 00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:12,480 Speaker 3: I was like wow, loss. 66 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:17,399 Speaker 2: And then also I got ice cream from Mad Mathers, 67 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:21,440 Speaker 2: which is like a staple at March to Spniard. I 68 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:24,360 Speaker 2: had mint chocolate chup ice cream, which is my favorite flavor. 69 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:25,800 Speaker 3: So that was yummy. 70 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:27,760 Speaker 2: And then last but not least, I actually had time 71 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:31,160 Speaker 2: to make it to an HBCU party where I met 72 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:34,880 Speaker 2: some of my fellow Tigers from the real TSU d 73 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:38,000 Speaker 2: Tennessee State University, so shout out to them. And it 74 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:40,680 Speaker 2: was just a really good a really good time, Like 75 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,160 Speaker 2: I was able to connect with some of the locals. 76 00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:45,520 Speaker 2: They was giving me advice on when to come back 77 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:50,320 Speaker 2: and also some business owners, which really inspired me to 78 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:53,720 Speaker 2: want to build more with this community. So next time, 79 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:56,480 Speaker 2: I definitely want to check out Eedgartown, which I heard 80 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:58,640 Speaker 2: was a vibe. I want to hit the beach for 81 00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:01,360 Speaker 2: the Polar Bear swim. I just do so much more 82 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:05,200 Speaker 2: because there's so much to do on an Allen And 83 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:08,200 Speaker 2: what I also thought was really cool and convenient was 84 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:12,240 Speaker 2: that this year the buses were free. So just to 85 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:14,120 Speaker 2: give your heads up if you do decide to go 86 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:16,719 Speaker 2: to the vineyard, especially during August, because there's so much 87 00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:20,159 Speaker 2: going on, so much black excellence in MARKEDUS Vineyard in 88 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:23,640 Speaker 2: the month of August. Ubers are super expensive. Like I 89 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:26,719 Speaker 2: felt comfortable enough taking a bus back and forth, obviously 90 00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:29,240 Speaker 2: when it got late. I would not recommend taking a 91 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:31,520 Speaker 2: bus unless you live close by to your bus stop, 92 00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:34,359 Speaker 2: but I did not. I was staying like ten fifteen 93 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:37,599 Speaker 2: minutes away from Oak Bluffs, which was not dead at all, 94 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:43,240 Speaker 2: but you know, safety first. But the bus was super convenient, 95 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:44,960 Speaker 2: Like I really enjoyed it and it was just kind 96 00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:47,480 Speaker 2: of cool just to sight see, you know. So I'm 97 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:51,200 Speaker 2: absolutely going back next year, and I'm definitely staying longer. 98 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:56,000 Speaker 2: Now I have an exciting announcement to make which I've 99 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:58,520 Speaker 2: been working so hard on and I cannot wait for 100 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:02,360 Speaker 2: you all to see. Is that of the Professional Homegirl 101 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:08,000 Speaker 2: coloring books. It's finally here. Yes, but my new listeners, 102 00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:10,880 Speaker 2: here's the backstory. So a few years ago I came 103 00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:13,440 Speaker 2: out with Volume one during the pandemic, and the reason 104 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,800 Speaker 2: why is because I wanted to create a coloring book 105 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:20,400 Speaker 2: that blended storytelling, art and technology all into one and honestly, 106 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:22,520 Speaker 2: like I love to read. So I was in bookstores 107 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:25,080 Speaker 2: like crazy during the pandemic, or when we could go 108 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:26,640 Speaker 2: inside of the bookstores. 109 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:27,640 Speaker 3: And y'all do coloring books. 110 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:30,080 Speaker 2: It was just mad boring, Like if it was a 111 00:05:30,279 --> 00:05:34,200 Speaker 2: geometric shape, it was a suswa afro or some damn flowers, 112 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:35,839 Speaker 2: and it's like come on now, like give me some 113 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:39,919 Speaker 2: riz like the kids would saying. So I wanted to 114 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:42,240 Speaker 2: make my color room book a true reflection of the 115 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:45,599 Speaker 2: people we saw in our neighborhoods. And y'all is so 116 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:50,040 Speaker 2: freaking fire. And what makes it really special is that 117 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:52,960 Speaker 2: this coloring book is interactive, so each page has a 118 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:55,240 Speaker 2: QR cult so when you scan it, you get the 119 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:57,960 Speaker 2: story that goes with the illustration that you're listening to 120 00:05:58,040 --> 00:05:58,640 Speaker 2: from the show. 121 00:05:58,800 --> 00:05:59,960 Speaker 3: So it's super super cool. 122 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:01,760 Speaker 2: And then we also got some new editions that I'm 123 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:03,479 Speaker 2: going to talk about later on because we will have 124 00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:06,320 Speaker 2: an episode talking about the process of the coloring book 125 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,640 Speaker 2: with my illustrator shot out to tip. 126 00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:11,320 Speaker 3: So I'm super excited for you all to experience this. 127 00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:13,720 Speaker 2: And it also this is one is for all the 128 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:17,880 Speaker 2: parents that were bullying me, because when I have these 129 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:20,240 Speaker 2: coloring and books, you know, these coloring books were initially 130 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:22,880 Speaker 2: for adults, and so you know, we had some little 131 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:28,440 Speaker 2: spicy content in it. However, the parents wanted something for 132 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:31,440 Speaker 2: their teenagers to be able to interact because they thought 133 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:34,280 Speaker 2: it was important for there are children to see themselves 134 00:06:34,279 --> 00:06:37,880 Speaker 2: and books as well. So I created a coloring book 135 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:40,840 Speaker 2: that is suitable for sixteen and up. Now, if they 136 00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:42,800 Speaker 2: listen to other episodes the things they ain't gonna be 137 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,400 Speaker 2: listening to that they't know me. It's only supposed to 138 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:49,240 Speaker 2: be the episodes that goes with that particular page. But 139 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:52,279 Speaker 2: you know, the theme is about pivoting for me this 140 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:56,000 Speaker 2: year and really sticking to it. So one of the 141 00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:58,839 Speaker 2: reasons why I love this coloring book because it highlights 142 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:02,440 Speaker 2: both traditions no career paths and the entrepreneurship to remind 143 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:04,919 Speaker 2: all of us that our dreams are valid and you 144 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:08,120 Speaker 2: can do whatever your heart desires. So I'm telling y'all, 145 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:10,240 Speaker 2: this coming book is so freaking cool. I cannot wait 146 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:11,840 Speaker 2: for you all to see it. You can pre order 147 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:13,960 Speaker 2: it now, so please make sure it's to support and 148 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:20,320 Speaker 2: grab your copy using the link in the show notes below. Now, 149 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:23,240 Speaker 2: for this week's episode, I really wanted to ease y'all 150 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:26,960 Speaker 2: into it because this episode is really heavy. Okay, My 151 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:30,200 Speaker 2: guest opens up about her experience growing up in a 152 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:34,520 Speaker 2: sex cult, taking those inside her childhood, sharing what life 153 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:37,280 Speaker 2: was really like in that environment and the control and 154 00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:41,360 Speaker 2: manipulation she endured, and how you shape her understanding the family. 155 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:45,120 Speaker 2: So y'all, really, really, if it's too much, you please 156 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:47,160 Speaker 2: please take care of your mental health. But this episode, 157 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:49,400 Speaker 2: as always, I feel like it's necessary because these are 158 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:51,880 Speaker 2: things that are going on within our community and not 159 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:54,760 Speaker 2: enough people are speaking about it. So I hope you 160 00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:58,480 Speaker 2: enjoyed this week's episode Because I was born into a 161 00:07:58,560 --> 00:07:59,200 Speaker 2: sex cult. 162 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:03,560 Speaker 3: Part one starts now, all right, to my guests, thank 163 00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:05,800 Speaker 3: you so much for being on the show. How you doing, 164 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:06,480 Speaker 3: How you feeling? 165 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:09,320 Speaker 5: I'm like, dad, how are you? You know? 166 00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:10,760 Speaker 3: I feel really cute. 167 00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:14,440 Speaker 2: I went out for brunch for one of my friends 168 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,080 Speaker 2: and we met somebody else and it was really nice. 169 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,560 Speaker 3: And did he pay for it? I was like, okay, 170 00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:20,080 Speaker 3: I gotta talk ran, I got. 171 00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:22,840 Speaker 5: To talk for free meal. You know what doesn't happened 172 00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:24,680 Speaker 5: to me? What last weekend? I went out. 173 00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:27,840 Speaker 4: This was actually my first time going out to a 174 00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:30,360 Speaker 4: hookah line since talking in Houston. And he paid for 175 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:32,839 Speaker 4: it too, So I was like, okay, listen, good night. 176 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:33,800 Speaker 3: Okay. 177 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:36,600 Speaker 2: When you want a God's favorite things just come to 178 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:38,280 Speaker 2: you in abundance. So I was like, but I thought, 179 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:40,160 Speaker 2: I was so shocked, But he's one of those guys 180 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:42,440 Speaker 2: that's like super nice, Like you know how you feel 181 00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:43,080 Speaker 2: like you could tell. 182 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:45,199 Speaker 5: He was raised right? Yeah? 183 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:48,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, do you like doing hookah. 184 00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:51,040 Speaker 4: Actually, no, I didn't even do the Yeah, I'll do 185 00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:55,120 Speaker 4: hookah either, it makes me feel nauseous, so I really 186 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,040 Speaker 4: went for the vibe. 187 00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:59,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a good vibe though with some dreams some music. 188 00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:00,360 Speaker 5: Yeah, yep. 189 00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:03,680 Speaker 2: Well I would tell you that off the air, but 190 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:06,200 Speaker 2: I'm really excited to have you on. I think that 191 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:09,040 Speaker 2: your story is definitely changing a lot of people lives. 192 00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:12,000 Speaker 2: Like I just can't even imagine some of the things 193 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,040 Speaker 2: that you still have to deal with on a daily basis, 194 00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:16,480 Speaker 2: because everything is still current as far as like you 195 00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:20,240 Speaker 2: trying to locate your daughter, your family or relationship with 196 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:23,719 Speaker 2: them and things of that nature. Yes, So, how has 197 00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:25,640 Speaker 2: it been since you've been telling your story, Like, what 198 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:28,400 Speaker 2: has that been like? Because I can only imagine the 199 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:30,080 Speaker 2: pushback you've been receiving. 200 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:38,720 Speaker 5: Yes, so honestly, it's been overwhelming. It was overwhelming at first. 201 00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:39,679 Speaker 5: I feel like. 202 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:44,480 Speaker 4: It definitely made me feel like it know that I 203 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:47,559 Speaker 4: had a voice and that it mattered absolutely, because I 204 00:09:47,559 --> 00:09:50,880 Speaker 4: feel like trapping any mess really helped me get my 205 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:55,160 Speaker 4: story out there, not knowing what it was going to do. 206 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:57,920 Speaker 4: This is just me propping my phone up, telling my story, 207 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:04,480 Speaker 4: and then that reaching thirty thousand people and then someone saying, hey, 208 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:06,439 Speaker 4: we want to give you a platform. 209 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:08,959 Speaker 5: And then I'm getting dms. 210 00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:12,640 Speaker 4: I'm getting so many messages and people reaching out that 211 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:16,600 Speaker 4: has similar stories or that just want to give you know. 212 00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:21,120 Speaker 5: Kind words. So I've it's been liberating to say. 213 00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:21,960 Speaker 3: That's a good word. 214 00:10:22,559 --> 00:10:25,400 Speaker 2: Yes, Are you shocked by the amount of people that's 215 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:27,120 Speaker 2: probably reaching out to you saying that they have a 216 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:28,480 Speaker 2: story similar to yours? 217 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:30,920 Speaker 5: I am? 218 00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:35,960 Speaker 4: I am. I feel like I've always known that being 219 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:41,080 Speaker 4: a woman can be dangerous in this world, but I 220 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:44,439 Speaker 4: never knew how similar stories can be, you know, as 221 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:48,120 Speaker 4: far as even down to the relationship with my mother, 222 00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:55,320 Speaker 4: the relationship with my siblings, what happens to outside relationships, 223 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:58,920 Speaker 4: like what your trauma, how your trauma affects those relationships. 224 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:05,360 Speaker 4: Even the similarities in that is you know, not even 225 00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:08,560 Speaker 4: I can't even say ironic, because yeah, I think it's 226 00:11:08,559 --> 00:11:12,160 Speaker 4: so worldwide, you know, like a universal knowing that being 227 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:14,880 Speaker 4: a woman in today's world, it's a lot. 228 00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:15,800 Speaker 2: It is. 229 00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:17,960 Speaker 3: It's not easy, especially when you're being a Brownie. 230 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:21,480 Speaker 2: So that's why one of the main reasons why I 231 00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:23,319 Speaker 2: wanted to build my platform, because I feel like as 232 00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:25,920 Speaker 2: black women black and brown women. I feel like we 233 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:29,280 Speaker 2: are taught at a very young age to mask and 234 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:31,560 Speaker 2: I just don't think that there was a platform at 235 00:11:31,559 --> 00:11:33,520 Speaker 2: the time where we can really just be our true, 236 00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:36,680 Speaker 2: authentic selves and get our shit off without being judged, 237 00:11:36,679 --> 00:11:40,520 Speaker 2: because I feel like society has this has this way 238 00:11:40,559 --> 00:11:42,640 Speaker 2: of thinking of how black women should be, and that's 239 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:44,920 Speaker 2: just not the case. Black womanhood looks so different from 240 00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:47,680 Speaker 2: so many of us. So that's why I'm really excited 241 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:50,360 Speaker 2: to have you on because I can just only imagine 242 00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:55,079 Speaker 2: how your dms look right now, your emails crazy. Yeah, 243 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:57,360 Speaker 2: So when you think about telling your story, what's the 244 00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:59,400 Speaker 2: most important thing you want people to take away from it? 245 00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:05,640 Speaker 4: I feel like the most important thing that anybody should 246 00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:13,080 Speaker 4: take from this is you never know, just keep walking 247 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:15,040 Speaker 4: in it because you never know what it may lead you, 248 00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:20,000 Speaker 4: you know what me Like I said, propping my phone up, 249 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:22,480 Speaker 4: never knowing that I would even get this opportunity. So 250 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:25,880 Speaker 4: thank you for having me on. But for sure, it's 251 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:28,120 Speaker 4: and always keep fighting. 252 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:28,520 Speaker 5: You know. 253 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:32,520 Speaker 4: Everybody got they shit, everybody go through shit. But that 254 00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:35,120 Speaker 4: don't mean give up, you know, because there's been plenty 255 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:37,120 Speaker 4: of times, even with me being in Houston for the 256 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:40,200 Speaker 4: last eight months, it's been an adjustment, you know, it's 257 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:44,120 Speaker 4: been an adjustment me. Coming from Michigan to Houston is adjustment. 258 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:46,560 Speaker 5: Yeah, a huge difference. 259 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:50,120 Speaker 4: And so and I'm a person who I think I 260 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:51,720 Speaker 4: battle with accepting change. 261 00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:53,080 Speaker 5: Sometimes I can take. 262 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:53,440 Speaker 3: Me a minute. 263 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:54,760 Speaker 5: I do it. 264 00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:57,120 Speaker 2: I am brace changed, But for me to get to 265 00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:58,560 Speaker 2: that point, it's a challenge. 266 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:03,840 Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have to settle into it. Mm hmm. Yeah. 267 00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:05,680 Speaker 2: You know, when I was watching one of your interviews 268 00:13:05,679 --> 00:13:08,840 Speaker 2: and I watched your YouTube videos, for people who don't 269 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:11,040 Speaker 2: know much about trauma, what do you wish they understood 270 00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:13,040 Speaker 2: about how they could be hidden even in families that 271 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:15,439 Speaker 2: look well put together. Because I feel like when I 272 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:18,360 Speaker 2: was younger, I went through a lot with my mother, 273 00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:21,800 Speaker 2: very abusive towards me, but I didn't look like it 274 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:23,760 Speaker 2: because I was a smart kid. I was put together 275 00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:25,200 Speaker 2: in things of that nature. And I think that's a 276 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:29,120 Speaker 2: misconception when it comes to things that kids are dealing 277 00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:30,600 Speaker 2: with at home. 278 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:37,000 Speaker 4: Absolutely, I think the biggest misconception is we. 279 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:40,240 Speaker 5: Do, unfortunately have smart criminals in the world. 280 00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:44,080 Speaker 4: And so when I say that, I mean, of course 281 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:46,320 Speaker 4: we know the typical you know, mom who may be 282 00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:48,400 Speaker 4: on drugs and since the child of school and you 283 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,319 Speaker 4: can just clearly tell there's something wrong. 284 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:52,520 Speaker 5: But there is people who. 285 00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:55,040 Speaker 4: Are calculated and they say they're not going to send 286 00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:57,679 Speaker 4: their child to school looking any kind of way, and 287 00:13:57,720 --> 00:13:59,920 Speaker 4: they're going to put them in an extra curricular ACTI 288 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:03,880 Speaker 4: why because narcissists like to look good. So my child 289 00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:06,640 Speaker 4: being good makes me look good. So sometimes it's not 290 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:10,320 Speaker 4: always about the child, it's about the image of what 291 00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:11,200 Speaker 4: it does to me. 292 00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:14,920 Speaker 5: Because you notice when those children. 293 00:14:14,559 --> 00:14:17,440 Speaker 4: Mess up, the parent does not want to take the 294 00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:21,720 Speaker 4: flame of the suck up child. Yeah, Like, I don't 295 00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:23,760 Speaker 4: know what the hell wrong with her now right? She 296 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:25,640 Speaker 4: was the ship when she walked acrost stage. I don't 297 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:26,800 Speaker 4: know what the fuck happened now. 298 00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:27,600 Speaker 3: Right, right? 299 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:28,160 Speaker 4: Right? 300 00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:30,520 Speaker 2: So what land you to finally speak out about what 301 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:32,400 Speaker 2: was going on with you? Because, if I'm not mistaken, 302 00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:35,320 Speaker 2: you came out about your story maybe eight years ago? 303 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:35,880 Speaker 3: Is that right? 304 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:37,040 Speaker 1: No? 305 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:42,280 Speaker 5: Eight months ago? Oh wow? Eight months ago? Wow? 306 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:45,080 Speaker 3: So what made you come out and tell your story? 307 00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:47,920 Speaker 3: So that's like so recent? 308 00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:49,200 Speaker 4: It is? 309 00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:52,560 Speaker 5: It is? All of this is, all of this happened 310 00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:53,960 Speaker 5: pretty fast. 311 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:57,960 Speaker 4: Like I uploaded those videos eight months ago and then 312 00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:02,120 Speaker 4: it was like a trapping. Anonymous reached out, but I 313 00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:04,360 Speaker 4: was still moving and stuff, so I needed to get 314 00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:08,800 Speaker 4: some time and settlement. But after that everything started to roll. 315 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:10,360 Speaker 5: So mm hmm. 316 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:13,320 Speaker 2: And it did something trigger you to start just telling 317 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:15,160 Speaker 2: your stories on YouTube or did you just feel like 318 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:15,720 Speaker 2: it was time? 319 00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:20,560 Speaker 5: Okay? So with YouTube, I had I've been doing YouTube 320 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:24,000 Speaker 5: for a year now, and I'm trying. I was trying 321 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:24,880 Speaker 5: to find my niggage. 322 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:26,800 Speaker 4: So I was doing story time, getting ready with me, 323 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,080 Speaker 4: I was cooking, I was just doing all kind of 324 00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:33,520 Speaker 4: videos because I wanted to see what my audience wanted 325 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:37,960 Speaker 4: from me. And so I've always played with storytimes. If 326 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,840 Speaker 4: you go to my channel, you'll see I have some 327 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:43,920 Speaker 4: story times before that one. But I was feeling like 328 00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:47,000 Speaker 4: I'm not being my authentic self and I'm gonna be 329 00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:47,640 Speaker 4: honest with you. 330 00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:51,040 Speaker 5: I battle like when I'm not being professional. 331 00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:55,920 Speaker 4: I battled with how much of myself I didn't show 332 00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:58,800 Speaker 4: or I want to show to YouTube and to people 333 00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:03,120 Speaker 4: who watch me. And with me going into marketing and 334 00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:05,560 Speaker 4: wanting to be in a business woman, I want to 335 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:08,080 Speaker 4: make sure I protect my image and not have things 336 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:10,160 Speaker 4: out there that I don't want to be out there. 337 00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:12,440 Speaker 5: Right, But I told myself. 338 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:16,840 Speaker 4: You know what, Well, I I know that I'm not 339 00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:21,000 Speaker 4: being as authentic in my videos as I feel for right, Yes, 340 00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:24,560 Speaker 4: I'm I'm just going to give them a real video, 341 00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:25,920 Speaker 4: a raw video how I feel. 342 00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:27,760 Speaker 5: I'm not gonna filter it. It is what it is. 343 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:30,280 Speaker 4: And so I'm like, but I can't just put this 344 00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:33,120 Speaker 4: all in one video. I have to do it in parts. 345 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:36,360 Speaker 4: It has to be like a story. Yeah, And so 346 00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:38,880 Speaker 4: I came up with the I'm gonna do it in 347 00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:41,280 Speaker 4: like a five part series and I'm going to just 348 00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:47,080 Speaker 4: no filter. And that is what got me attraction on 349 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:50,520 Speaker 4: my on my channel, so that let me know that's 350 00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:52,400 Speaker 4: what they do want to see. They don't want to 351 00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:55,920 Speaker 4: see something filtered because I felt like I was editing 352 00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:58,240 Speaker 4: my videos so much and trying to get it to 353 00:16:58,240 --> 00:17:02,000 Speaker 4: be perfect when carecater personality is what makes people want 354 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:02,800 Speaker 4: to watch you. 355 00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:03,800 Speaker 3: Yeah. 356 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,199 Speaker 2: Now, granted you came out eight months ago, but was 357 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:08,800 Speaker 2: this the first time you ever told anybody just in general? 358 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:12,360 Speaker 5: No. 359 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:15,240 Speaker 4: I felt like a lot of people in my family 360 00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:17,919 Speaker 4: knew parts of the story, but this is the first 361 00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:20,440 Speaker 4: time that I put it out there in the sequence 362 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:22,399 Speaker 4: that I did. And this is the first time I 363 00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:25,760 Speaker 4: told a mass of people, but of course my immediate 364 00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:29,040 Speaker 4: family knows about the things that I spoke about prior 365 00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:32,280 Speaker 4: to me uploaded the videos. And I can only imagine 366 00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:34,639 Speaker 4: what the reception was from your family, because some of 367 00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:37,439 Speaker 4: your family members were saying that you was crazy and 368 00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:39,280 Speaker 4: you was making all of this up, and I was 369 00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:42,159 Speaker 4: just like, what do you have to gain from the 370 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:45,760 Speaker 4: type of trauma that you're speaking about? And you know what, 371 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:48,520 Speaker 4: it's funny to me and what like is the most 372 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:49,360 Speaker 4: eye opening thing? 373 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:52,000 Speaker 5: And all of this even about those comments. 374 00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:56,439 Speaker 4: When I came out eight months ago on my channel, 375 00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:00,240 Speaker 4: my voice did not matter because they thought that those 376 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:02,640 Speaker 4: videos were gonna go nowhere, that no one was gonna 377 00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:07,880 Speaker 4: watch them. So before I started to get any attention 378 00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:11,439 Speaker 4: from my story, you didn't care. You didn't comment on 379 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,760 Speaker 4: any videos, you didn't say I was crazy because you 380 00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:17,040 Speaker 4: thought my voice did not matter. But God said, hold on, now, 381 00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:20,000 Speaker 4: this is my baby, and some voice matters, and people 382 00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:20,480 Speaker 4: I want to. 383 00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:21,879 Speaker 5: Hear what she has to say. 384 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:25,280 Speaker 4: So I feel like, now all of a sudden, I'm crazy. 385 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:28,040 Speaker 4: Why wasn't that crazy eight months ago? Why didn't Why 386 00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:32,800 Speaker 4: you know I have family members contacting some of the 387 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:37,560 Speaker 4: platforms I've been on and just just doing all kind 388 00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:39,919 Speaker 4: of crazy things and I'm just like, well, where was 389 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:41,240 Speaker 4: this energery eight months ago? 390 00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:45,080 Speaker 5: So that lets me know this is not a concern. 391 00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:49,120 Speaker 4: This is you trying to, you know, get clout off 392 00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:52,320 Speaker 4: of something that is actually very important and it should 393 00:18:52,359 --> 00:18:57,960 Speaker 4: not be played with at all. 394 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,560 Speaker 2: What's up, y'all, it's your girl of Ana here, and 395 00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:04,120 Speaker 2: be sure to follow me on Instagram and TikTok at 396 00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:07,879 Speaker 2: pretty private podcasts, and don't forget to subscribe to my 397 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:11,400 Speaker 2: YouTube channel at the Professional Homegirl. Now let's get back 398 00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:14,320 Speaker 2: to the show. Have anybody in your family came out 399 00:19:14,359 --> 00:19:16,800 Speaker 2: to you and said that they are a survivor as 400 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,920 Speaker 2: well and they shared their story with you. 401 00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:23,240 Speaker 4: No, I feel like in our family, we know we 402 00:19:23,359 --> 00:19:24,360 Speaker 4: have family secrets. 403 00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:25,640 Speaker 5: Of course every family does. 404 00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:29,119 Speaker 4: But before I've come out, I had already known about 405 00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:33,680 Speaker 4: certain situations in my family prior to me that every 406 00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:35,600 Speaker 4: pretty much everyone knows about. 407 00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:39,400 Speaker 5: It's just you know, people just keep moving on. I guess. 408 00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:39,919 Speaker 3: Yeah. 409 00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:43,399 Speaker 2: Now, for people who are unfamiliar with cults, especially ones 410 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:45,960 Speaker 2: that's from inside of families, can you explain how the 411 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:47,680 Speaker 2: dynamic worked in your family. 412 00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:51,040 Speaker 5: As far as the cult like the hierarchy of things. Yeah, 413 00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:52,040 Speaker 5: it's so. 414 00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:59,280 Speaker 4: My grandfather and then before you know, my aunts and 415 00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:03,240 Speaker 4: everyone got married. My mom was the only one with kids, 416 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:08,440 Speaker 4: and unfortunately my father passed away, so they were all 417 00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:12,000 Speaker 4: in relation with my grandfather, which had had been a 418 00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:15,000 Speaker 4: process before I was even born, so they were he 419 00:20:15,119 --> 00:20:19,879 Speaker 4: had already had relationships and pedophilia going on before. 420 00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:22,960 Speaker 5: I even got there. So as I got older, they 421 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:24,200 Speaker 5: kind of train. 422 00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:27,960 Speaker 4: You and teach you what to do, what not to do, 423 00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:29,520 Speaker 4: what to say, what not to say. 424 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:31,720 Speaker 5: What happens in this house stays in this house. 425 00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:37,399 Speaker 4: And he has to approve of whoever you're with. So 426 00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:40,399 Speaker 4: the men that were married into my family was not 427 00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:44,679 Speaker 4: like you could just if my grandfather didn't like him, 428 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:46,120 Speaker 4: they weren't being with him, and. 429 00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:48,520 Speaker 3: He probably wanted to mold the men in the family too. 430 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:53,399 Speaker 4: Absolutely, because you have to think about it, you know, 431 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:57,639 Speaker 4: as a man, it's these things are going on with 432 00:20:57,680 --> 00:21:01,439 Speaker 4: my grand with my granddaughter, and there's going to be 433 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:05,080 Speaker 4: signs for the for the magnitude of the things that 434 00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:08,080 Speaker 4: were happening to me, there were signs. So there's no 435 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:11,720 Speaker 4: way that this little girls around all these adults and 436 00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:14,240 Speaker 4: no one is seeing this, right, so that means that 437 00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:19,600 Speaker 4: he's incahoots with the husband. Now even my to my 438 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:23,639 Speaker 4: I think one of my the comments that you're speaking 439 00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:25,159 Speaker 4: on is my aunt saying. 440 00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:25,720 Speaker 5: That I was crazy. 441 00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:29,640 Speaker 4: Well, her whole marriage was with my grandfather. She never 442 00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:35,080 Speaker 4: experienced her marriage outside of living with them. I mean, granted, 443 00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:37,800 Speaker 4: her husband wasn't a military military at first, and he 444 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:39,880 Speaker 4: did go off to Germany, but when she came back 445 00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:43,640 Speaker 4: for that seven eight years, she had all her kids there, 446 00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:48,760 Speaker 4: her husband there, and they all lived together, so that 447 00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:51,960 Speaker 4: she'd tell you a little bit about. 448 00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:53,880 Speaker 5: How things were. 449 00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:54,760 Speaker 4: Yo. 450 00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:56,960 Speaker 2: You ever seen this movie. I don't know how I 451 00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,199 Speaker 2: came across this movie. It was a movie of a 452 00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:01,879 Speaker 2: black family. And I believe that the son, you know 453 00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:04,680 Speaker 2: what I'm talking about. The son, he was the son 454 00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:07,840 Speaker 2: of one of the aunts, and he was pretty much 455 00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:12,840 Speaker 2: making the documentary because the grandfather was sleeping with all 456 00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:17,360 Speaker 2: of his daughters, and he was messing around with the daughters, 457 00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:19,159 Speaker 2: and it got to a point where one of the 458 00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:21,919 Speaker 2: daughters got really hurt. She got hurt, but she was 459 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,520 Speaker 2: afraid because if she would have went to the hospital, 460 00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:26,320 Speaker 2: they would have been privy to other things that was 461 00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:29,639 Speaker 2: going on with the house and the women were arguing 462 00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:32,639 Speaker 2: over the sisters was arguing over the dad. They was 463 00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:35,639 Speaker 2: in love with the dad, and then the mom she 464 00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:38,040 Speaker 2: knew about it, but she stayed. But then the dad 465 00:22:38,119 --> 00:22:40,400 Speaker 2: ended up leaving the mom and he started a whole 466 00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:42,600 Speaker 2: nother family with his white family and was doing the 467 00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:45,400 Speaker 2: same thing. And I was just like, this is fucking crazy. 468 00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:48,280 Speaker 5: Yeah, that is identical. 469 00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:50,040 Speaker 4: I don't know if you got a chance to watch 470 00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:52,879 Speaker 4: each part, but in one of the five part series 471 00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:55,639 Speaker 4: that I have on my channel, I go into a 472 00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:59,520 Speaker 4: confrontation where my aunt is sitting at the kitchen table 473 00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:02,720 Speaker 4: to my grandmother and they're arguing over my grandfather and 474 00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:04,880 Speaker 4: he put us out the house that day. 475 00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:07,199 Speaker 2: Where do you think if grandfather got this from? Like, 476 00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:09,800 Speaker 2: is this something that has always been done in his family? 477 00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:13,479 Speaker 5: I'm not sure. I'm not that's a good question. 478 00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:17,000 Speaker 4: Only you know, when people ask me questions like that, 479 00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:20,359 Speaker 4: I always tell them only they have the answers to 480 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:21,280 Speaker 4: those questions. 481 00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:24,840 Speaker 5: But another example that I will give is. 482 00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:29,840 Speaker 4: Think about when it comes to how well things are hidden, 483 00:23:30,359 --> 00:23:34,320 Speaker 4: and when it comes to how we have smart criminals, 484 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:38,600 Speaker 4: think about the douggers. Think about how perfect that looked. 485 00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:41,880 Speaker 4: I don't know Douggs, the Duggers that have nineteen kids 486 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:42,359 Speaker 4: in county. 487 00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:45,359 Speaker 3: Oh wow, yes, yes, yes, yes. 488 00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:46,000 Speaker 5: Yes yes. 489 00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:48,400 Speaker 4: I don't know if you've seen that documentary of all 490 00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:52,480 Speaker 4: the secrets in pedophilia that went on in their family, 491 00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:56,679 Speaker 4: but an incest that went on in their family. But 492 00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:02,040 Speaker 4: just think about if you watch TC and watch that show, 493 00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:06,960 Speaker 4: how you would never think that any of those things 494 00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:09,520 Speaker 4: are going on, which is one of the reasons they 495 00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:10,160 Speaker 4: lost the show. 496 00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:14,240 Speaker 3: M you know, ain't no networking get behind that? 497 00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:16,520 Speaker 5: Oh no, not at all. 498 00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:21,040 Speaker 4: So or you know another example, and this is this 499 00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:24,200 Speaker 4: is what this is what blinds people. Let's think about 500 00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:29,640 Speaker 4: Ted Bundy for example, right, you would never think had 501 00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:31,640 Speaker 4: a family, well educated. 502 00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:33,960 Speaker 3: He was good, lucky, good job. 503 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:38,160 Speaker 5: Yeah, yes, but this is this is what's crazy. Because 504 00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:39,199 Speaker 5: he was good looking. 505 00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:47,080 Speaker 4: It it kind of blinded people from the tragedy, the tragedy, 506 00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:52,040 Speaker 4: the crazy things he was doing, like killing people, murdering 507 00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:55,000 Speaker 4: women like so it just shows you how the world works, 508 00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:59,720 Speaker 4: you know, being good looking and being educated and putting 509 00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:01,320 Speaker 4: on a show show because that's what he was doing. 510 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:04,040 Speaker 4: I think he had multiple personalities, honestly, No, he was 511 00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:07,159 Speaker 4: a book out for sure. Yeah, it was blinding people. 512 00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:10,280 Speaker 4: And so that goes back to my original point. If 513 00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:16,520 Speaker 4: you are not well equipped to have the eye for 514 00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:18,440 Speaker 4: things when it comes to children. 515 00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:21,440 Speaker 5: And trauma, you may never see it and it could 516 00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:22,399 Speaker 5: be right in your face. 517 00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:24,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, why do you think. 518 00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:27,080 Speaker 2: You know, it's one thing for his children to obey him, 519 00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:30,679 Speaker 2: But why do you think your grandma allowed that to happen? 520 00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:36,200 Speaker 5: Honestly, I think that it was. 521 00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:42,639 Speaker 4: Maybe it's fearful of not being having security. I think 522 00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:46,439 Speaker 4: back in those times, and she's told me stories like 523 00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:49,760 Speaker 4: I remember her telling me a story of her going 524 00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:52,160 Speaker 4: back to her mom, telling her mom some things that 525 00:25:52,359 --> 00:25:54,640 Speaker 4: you know, was bothering her in her marriage, and she. 526 00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:56,840 Speaker 5: Told her, oh, it's going to be okay, go back home. 527 00:25:57,520 --> 00:26:01,840 Speaker 4: So stending her back home into whatever, And I feel 528 00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:05,480 Speaker 4: that break, And I think that just goes back to 529 00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:10,760 Speaker 4: kind of like an example being since to bring you 530 00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:15,439 Speaker 4: up examples, how when Anime tried to run away and 531 00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:18,760 Speaker 4: her mama called Ike and told him, you know, so 532 00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:20,000 Speaker 4: even when you tried to get away. 533 00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:22,200 Speaker 5: They back then, it was about security. 534 00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:26,359 Speaker 4: It was about making sure that you know, you and 535 00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:32,359 Speaker 4: these kids have a home right now. The thing I 536 00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:37,600 Speaker 4: think it gets sick when it's a continuation of things, 537 00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:40,520 Speaker 4: and honestly, I don't have sympathy for that anymore because 538 00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:44,959 Speaker 4: I feel like I don't even have children yet, but 539 00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:47,600 Speaker 4: I have two nephews, I have a niece, I have 540 00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:52,040 Speaker 4: three sisters, and I couldn't imagine holding my head down 541 00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:55,639 Speaker 4: allowing anything to happen to them and saying I'm gonna 542 00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:56,920 Speaker 4: just go on and go with the flow. 543 00:26:57,320 --> 00:26:58,960 Speaker 5: I'm mama gonna fight today. 544 00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:02,560 Speaker 4: Yeah, Mama is going to fight today, and we're gonna 545 00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:04,160 Speaker 4: get up out of this. I'm not going to allow 546 00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:06,480 Speaker 4: that to happen. And then when you think about what 547 00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:09,680 Speaker 4: it's done to you, when you see the the the 548 00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:13,320 Speaker 4: wounds that it's put on you, you know you want to 549 00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:16,560 Speaker 4: protect your daughter and the generations to come from that. 550 00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:20,320 Speaker 4: So I'm not sure why she will continue to do 551 00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:21,879 Speaker 4: something like that, but I think. 552 00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:23,639 Speaker 2: You make a good point when it comes to security, 553 00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:27,399 Speaker 2: because also with security comes fearfulness. And I feel like 554 00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:29,399 Speaker 2: there when I was looking at your story during research, 555 00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:31,560 Speaker 2: I feel like there were times where she was trying 556 00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:33,640 Speaker 2: her best, or I don't know if it was her best, 557 00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:36,560 Speaker 2: but I do feel like she tried, but he would 558 00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:40,879 Speaker 2: beat her up really bad because I think because I 559 00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:43,840 Speaker 2: remember you were sharing a story about how he raped 560 00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:47,600 Speaker 2: your older sister and she was he beat up so 561 00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:48,680 Speaker 2: bad she couldn't even move. 562 00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:58,240 Speaker 4: So I've always seen and I've always seen my grandmother. 563 00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:04,399 Speaker 5: I always started was respect, yeah, but I. 564 00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:05,800 Speaker 4: As I got older, I started to see it was 565 00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:10,680 Speaker 4: maybe a little bit of I'm not even gonna say fear, 566 00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:13,960 Speaker 4: because I think she had overcome that by then. When 567 00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,640 Speaker 4: I started to see things, I would just say I'm tired, 568 00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:18,960 Speaker 4: like I'm just gonna stay, you know. 569 00:28:19,359 --> 00:28:19,760 Speaker 5: Yeah. 570 00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:23,920 Speaker 4: And don't get me wrong, it's hard to say because 571 00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:26,720 Speaker 4: they have had times where they've taken breaks in their marriage, 572 00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:29,119 Speaker 4: and he's been with another family and been on with. 573 00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:32,000 Speaker 5: Someone else, got a divorce and everything. 574 00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:35,760 Speaker 4: And so my thaying is, what, even if all of 575 00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:38,160 Speaker 4: that happened with your kids or whatever made you whatever 576 00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:40,120 Speaker 4: you want to go tell your mom at night, what 577 00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:43,880 Speaker 4: made you get back into it after getting divorced, after 578 00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:46,520 Speaker 4: him leaving and want to be with another family. 579 00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:48,320 Speaker 3: But he said him and your grandma got divorced. 580 00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:52,120 Speaker 4: They got divorced, yeah, at one point, and he went 581 00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:53,760 Speaker 4: off and was with the whole another woman and a 582 00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:54,680 Speaker 4: whole different family. 583 00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:59,960 Speaker 3: Oh wow, so disappoint at this point, this is a choice. 584 00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:01,720 Speaker 5: Absolutely. 585 00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:05,960 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, so that is you know, as you get 586 00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:09,440 Speaker 4: older and you start taking the titles off of people 587 00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:13,000 Speaker 4: and looking at them as people. You know, yes, your grandma, 588 00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:16,200 Speaker 4: but shit, you know, yes your mom, but I would 589 00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:19,040 Speaker 4: never I can't even look. You don't see eye to 590 00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:21,239 Speaker 4: eye with me as a woman. I would never do 591 00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:23,320 Speaker 4: the things or accept the things that you accept. And 592 00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:29,280 Speaker 4: I understand circumstances, but at some point, yeah, my daughter 593 00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:34,400 Speaker 4: would not be able to pass and look at the polygraph, 594 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:37,200 Speaker 4: some of those questions should have never been able to 595 00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:40,320 Speaker 4: be passed and been truthful, right, And for them to 596 00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:44,000 Speaker 4: deny and say they don't want to take one to 597 00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:45,920 Speaker 4: me even more astonishing. 598 00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:48,760 Speaker 2: You know when you look back, because you talk about 599 00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:53,120 Speaker 2: hearing your grandmother and your aunt, are you over your 600 00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:56,760 Speaker 2: grandfather and looking back like where do you? What were 601 00:29:56,800 --> 00:29:59,280 Speaker 2: your thoughts like even seeing yourself in that moment? 602 00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:06,240 Speaker 5: Because that is crazy? So what? Okay? 603 00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:12,200 Speaker 4: So the original it all started because my grandfather raped 604 00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:17,800 Speaker 4: my older sister. Once everything happened, you know, there were 605 00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:21,960 Speaker 4: conversations that were had. All I kept hearing was the 606 00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:25,320 Speaker 4: word rape, rape, rape. I didn't know what it meant, 607 00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:28,920 Speaker 4: so and I was I've always been a person that 608 00:30:29,040 --> 00:30:30,760 Speaker 4: looked up to my older sister and wanted to do 609 00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:31,440 Speaker 4: everything she do. 610 00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:33,600 Speaker 5: She grabbed a red juice. I'm grabbing a red juice. 611 00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:36,320 Speaker 3: That was me because that's all, you know, right, I. 612 00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:40,560 Speaker 4: Admired her, always had, and so I'm like, you know, 613 00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:42,920 Speaker 4: I keep hearing his words. So I'm like, I want 614 00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:45,320 Speaker 4: to get raped too. I'm gonna, you know, not even 615 00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:45,880 Speaker 4: knowing what. 616 00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:47,160 Speaker 5: I'm saying, I say that. 617 00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:50,560 Speaker 4: My grandmother's like, Okay, now they can't go back over 618 00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:55,200 Speaker 4: to their dad's side because they're basically trying to figure 619 00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:57,560 Speaker 4: out how to protect my grandfather. I know I've said 620 00:30:57,600 --> 00:31:01,280 Speaker 4: this word. My dad's mom were with trauma all day. 621 00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:04,520 Speaker 4: She manages multiple women shows her. 622 00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:07,200 Speaker 5: So she would have spotted. She would have spotted it. 623 00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:10,040 Speaker 4: So now they're like, Okay, we need to figure out 624 00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:19,000 Speaker 4: how to get them away from them. So something happened 625 00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:23,320 Speaker 4: between me and a cousin on my dad's side, But 626 00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:25,560 Speaker 4: it was no, it was more like it was an 627 00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:26,600 Speaker 4: inappropriate situation. 628 00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:27,680 Speaker 5: I'm not even gonna. 629 00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:33,000 Speaker 4: Say it was even close to the magnitude to what. 630 00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:33,280 Speaker 5: You know we would experience. 631 00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:33,920 Speaker 4: Right. 632 00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:35,920 Speaker 5: We were just two kids, unattended. 633 00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:37,719 Speaker 4: So she's like, okay, well we're going to use that 634 00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:42,280 Speaker 4: situation and we're going to say they can't come over 635 00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:47,680 Speaker 4: there anymore. So my mom did say, and I'm fair. 636 00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:49,040 Speaker 5: In this situation. I say the truth. 637 00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:51,520 Speaker 4: She did say, that's the only thing they have left 638 00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:54,280 Speaker 4: to their dad. I really don't want to take them away. 639 00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:57,440 Speaker 4: At first, she did, That's what she said at first. 640 00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:02,920 Speaker 4: But so my aunt sitting there crying, crying like, you know, 641 00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:04,280 Speaker 4: my dad, I can't go to jail for this. 642 00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:05,959 Speaker 5: At us, she gonna go over there. She talked too much. 643 00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:07,600 Speaker 5: She can go over there and tell the people, you know. 644 00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:10,840 Speaker 5: So she like, we gotta kill her, We have to 645 00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:12,280 Speaker 5: kill her. She's looking at me myself. 646 00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:14,240 Speaker 4: My mom start crying, like, were not killing my daughter? 647 00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:16,840 Speaker 4: Da da, So my So, all of this is going on. 648 00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:19,040 Speaker 4: My grandmother's standing in front of the oven. Where would 649 00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:23,560 Speaker 4: your grandfather at my grandfather's upstairs. And if you've ever 650 00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:25,400 Speaker 4: been to my house, any of my high school friends, 651 00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:29,120 Speaker 4: you all know my grandfather always stayed upstairs, or he said, 652 00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:34,120 Speaker 4: at the first chair at the kitchen table. So my 653 00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:36,479 Speaker 4: grandmother looked at my aunt and said, you know, you 654 00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:38,680 Speaker 4: are balling and crying doing all of this. You would 655 00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:41,040 Speaker 4: think this is somebody you were in relation, you know, 656 00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:43,680 Speaker 4: having relations with, Like, is what is wrong with you? 657 00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:46,840 Speaker 4: Like she was beating on the table and just screaming 658 00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:49,560 Speaker 4: and doing a lot of things that like this show man. 659 00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:51,920 Speaker 3: Right, But do your grandma not know what was going on? 660 00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:55,120 Speaker 3: She do know what's going on, but I guess she 661 00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:56,320 Speaker 3: was a shocked, like girl. 662 00:32:57,160 --> 00:33:02,760 Speaker 4: No, I think at one point whatever relations they were 663 00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:05,440 Speaker 4: having had stalled, had stalled because that's his as they 664 00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:08,320 Speaker 4: got older, you know, you're getting boyfriends, you're getting you know, 665 00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:13,280 Speaker 4: So that's why he has to be in liking of 666 00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:15,560 Speaker 4: whoever you're with, because he he has to have an 667 00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:16,200 Speaker 4: attachment to you. 668 00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:18,760 Speaker 5: Just say, her man didn't like her dad. She ain't 669 00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:20,760 Speaker 5: gonna be around her father as much. You know what 670 00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:21,720 Speaker 5: I'm trying to say. 671 00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:26,840 Speaker 4: Right, right, So so my grandfather. So she told my grandmother, 672 00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:28,840 Speaker 4: you know, that is her man, that's her man. Like 673 00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:30,920 Speaker 4: she like, you're right, Nope, that's my man. So my 674 00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:33,840 Speaker 4: grandmother like, okay, well we're gonna see about that. She said, 675 00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:36,920 Speaker 4: she she called him, she said TC she called him downstairs, 676 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:40,480 Speaker 4: and my my aunt hop said from the table, and 677 00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:42,200 Speaker 4: she says, I'm sick of this shit. You know, you're 678 00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:44,200 Speaker 4: gonna have to choose a da da da, you know. 679 00:33:45,160 --> 00:33:48,520 Speaker 4: So they both crying and he kicked me, my mom, 680 00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:50,520 Speaker 4: my sister, my grandmother kicked us all out of the 681 00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:54,680 Speaker 4: house that day and she told him, she told her 682 00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:56,440 Speaker 4: little do you know he bought this house for me 683 00:33:56,480 --> 00:33:58,720 Speaker 4: because we had just he had just bought the house 684 00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:01,440 Speaker 4: that we were arguing in, And she said, yeah, he 685 00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:03,600 Speaker 4: bought this house for me, and yeah, that's that's the 686 00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:04,640 Speaker 4: same house that she's. 687 00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:05,720 Speaker 5: In right now now. 688 00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:08,640 Speaker 4: One of my family members, her daughter, she was like, oh, yeah, 689 00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:11,080 Speaker 4: she's mad because my grandfather gave us this house. And 690 00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:14,600 Speaker 4: I'm just like, girl, First of all, I would never 691 00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:21,160 Speaker 4: be mad about that, And secondly, that has nothing to 692 00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:22,239 Speaker 4: do with the allegations. 693 00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:23,720 Speaker 5: It's a distraction to what. 694 00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:27,160 Speaker 4: I'm picture is right, you know what I'm about a 695 00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:29,800 Speaker 4: house girl, right, and I'm. 696 00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:31,759 Speaker 5: Singing with no kids. I don't need no help, right, 697 00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:34,160 Speaker 5: I'm living my life. Go ahead. 698 00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:38,240 Speaker 2: It's about him sexually abusing every woman in this family. 699 00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:39,600 Speaker 5: Exactly right. 700 00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:42,920 Speaker 3: It's so heartbreaking, it is. 701 00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:46,040 Speaker 5: And I've learned to block that out because. 702 00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:49,239 Speaker 3: Everything because you're deflecting. Now, that's what that is. 703 00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:53,839 Speaker 5: It's deflecting everything. Is a deflection. Yeah. 704 00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:56,360 Speaker 2: And I even remember you saying that you never saw it, 705 00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:58,920 Speaker 2: but you heard your grandfather be on intimate with your aunts. 706 00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:07,799 Speaker 5: Absolutely, my sister did, I did my mom did? We? Yeah? Definitely? Wow, definitely. 707 00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:10,760 Speaker 2: You know there's a special place in hell for niggas 708 00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:13,680 Speaker 2: like that. Yo, Because I interviewed this other lady, and 709 00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:15,480 Speaker 2: the funny thing is she from Detroit. I'm gonna give 710 00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:17,879 Speaker 2: you her name because you never know, y'all might have 711 00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:22,399 Speaker 2: some type of connection. But her I think the men 712 00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:24,960 Speaker 2: and her family were sleeping with all of the kids. 713 00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:32,800 Speaker 2: And her mom is actually her sister. Yes, like ih, 714 00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:35,160 Speaker 2: so I give you her information. A really cool woman, 715 00:35:35,320 --> 00:35:38,280 Speaker 2: like super down on earth, like so all the cousins 716 00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:39,800 Speaker 2: and stuff was born out of incest. 717 00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:42,040 Speaker 5: Wow. 718 00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:46,279 Speaker 2: And I asked her because you know, obviously respectfully, because 719 00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:49,200 Speaker 2: I really do respect her. But she doesn't look like 720 00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:51,600 Speaker 2: anything was wrong with her. She was like yeah, she said, 721 00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:53,560 Speaker 2: I'm the one that wasn't affected. 722 00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:58,240 Speaker 5: Wow. Yeah, that's a story to tell. 723 00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:02,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm surprised that any of the aunts or anybody 724 00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:04,080 Speaker 2: get pregnant by your grandfather. 725 00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:08,040 Speaker 4: Not that I'm aware of. They know not to give 726 00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:09,280 Speaker 4: me no information, right. 727 00:36:11,480 --> 00:36:14,759 Speaker 3: Because we know where you're gonna go tell like as 728 00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:15,280 Speaker 3: you should. 729 00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:17,120 Speaker 5: Wow. 730 00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:19,759 Speaker 2: Now you would say that the older women would coach 731 00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:22,400 Speaker 2: the younger women or the younger girls in the family. 732 00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:23,440 Speaker 3: So what would that look. 733 00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:26,120 Speaker 2: Like, because did you feel like it was normal or 734 00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:28,000 Speaker 2: did they feel or did they teach you that this 735 00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:29,680 Speaker 2: is another way of expressing love. 736 00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:34,319 Speaker 4: They teach you that you don't get to tell him no, 737 00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:36,680 Speaker 4: the word not doesn't exist in this house. 738 00:36:36,719 --> 00:36:39,319 Speaker 5: It is what one of the things that they would say. 739 00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:43,279 Speaker 4: And then when they would for unicate and do weird shit, 740 00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:47,360 Speaker 4: they would call it indulging. I'm not sure what that with. 741 00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:50,560 Speaker 4: I really think it was some demonic things going on. 742 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:52,000 Speaker 5: To be honest with you. 743 00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:54,239 Speaker 3: Yo, she said the same thing. 744 00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:59,040 Speaker 2: I swear to God, I'm gonna see I'm gonna send 745 00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:00,759 Speaker 2: you the video. I mean, I'm gona send you the 746 00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:02,040 Speaker 2: clip for you to listen to the show, and then 747 00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:05,080 Speaker 2: I'm gonna get y'all in, y'all, get y'all connected. But yeah, 748 00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:06,160 Speaker 2: she said the same thing. 749 00:37:06,680 --> 00:37:12,439 Speaker 4: Yeah, they would call it indulging and just even down 750 00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:16,440 Speaker 4: to I think that to me the most traumatic. I 751 00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:23,239 Speaker 4: think the most heartbreaking thing for me is the most traumatic, 752 00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:26,240 Speaker 4: most I can't things I can't even describe in words 753 00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:32,000 Speaker 4: as far as trauma, and everything I can even name 754 00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:36,320 Speaker 4: is my mom and her husband. Like my mother cost 755 00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:40,520 Speaker 4: me the most trauma, and that to me, when I 756 00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:42,680 Speaker 4: look at my knees and I look out how much 757 00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:44,360 Speaker 4: I love her and what I do for her, and 758 00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:48,840 Speaker 4: I shake the world up for her, I just don't. 759 00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:51,840 Speaker 4: It lets me know that the love that my mom 760 00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:55,799 Speaker 4: has for me or had for me was never a 761 00:37:55,840 --> 00:38:01,560 Speaker 4: mother daughter relationship. And that was because you cannot have 762 00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:05,600 Speaker 4: a mother daughter relationship with someone that your husband wants 763 00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:08,840 Speaker 4: to be with or fantasizes about or is molesting and 764 00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:12,439 Speaker 4: raping and then impregnates. You don't look at her as 765 00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:16,600 Speaker 4: a daughter at that point. So it's like, you know, 766 00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:19,840 Speaker 4: my father's deceased, he drowned, and like Michigan when I 767 00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:24,560 Speaker 4: was eight months, and my mom just completely is gone 768 00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:27,000 Speaker 4: in the mind or maybe this is just who she is, 769 00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:29,759 Speaker 4: and when I have conversations with hers, I want to 770 00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:32,319 Speaker 4: be fair, So I'm like, I'm not even gonna tell 771 00:38:32,360 --> 00:38:34,879 Speaker 4: the story. I let my aunt, I let my mother 772 00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:37,000 Speaker 4: and whoever have a voice. If you do feel like 773 00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:40,040 Speaker 4: it's something that you want to say or that you 774 00:38:40,120 --> 00:38:42,799 Speaker 4: know a piece that maybe I don't know that you 775 00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:44,880 Speaker 4: want to let him know to add in there whatever, 776 00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:46,759 Speaker 4: because I'm coming with truth. 777 00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:48,640 Speaker 5: I didn't have to do that, you know, I didn't 778 00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:49,560 Speaker 5: have to be that fair. 779 00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:51,920 Speaker 3: What's your relationship like with your mom now? Like, do 780 00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:53,040 Speaker 3: y'all still keep in contact? 781 00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:54,640 Speaker 5: Absolutely? 782 00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:54,759 Speaker 4: Not? 783 00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:56,919 Speaker 5: Girl help, No. No. 784 00:38:56,920 --> 00:38:59,080 Speaker 3: The only reason why I ask because I do feel 785 00:38:59,120 --> 00:38:59,960 Speaker 3: like one thing I. 786 00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:02,560 Speaker 2: Will say, just after watching your interviews and like doing 787 00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:06,239 Speaker 2: research on you, you are fair like you want somebody, You 788 00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:08,080 Speaker 2: want people, all the parties involved to come up and 789 00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:09,680 Speaker 2: be like, if I'm not telling the truth, then say 790 00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:11,719 Speaker 2: I want to share this platform with you. So that's 791 00:39:11,719 --> 00:39:13,320 Speaker 2: the reason why I ask, because I do feel like 792 00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:15,680 Speaker 2: there were times with your mom that, even though I 793 00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:17,319 Speaker 2: don't condone what she did, like I feel like she 794 00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:21,120 Speaker 2: was battling with the decisions that she was making because 795 00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:22,120 Speaker 2: she knew it wasn't right. 796 00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:26,000 Speaker 4: My mama was battling those decisions like a motherfucker. 797 00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:29,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, That's why I asked, Like did she reach out 798 00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:32,080 Speaker 2: to you or something or just like I don't know, 799 00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:34,279 Speaker 2: because I really feel like she knows this is not right. 800 00:39:36,239 --> 00:39:37,239 Speaker 5: I think she do too. 801 00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:40,279 Speaker 4: But the thing is is, again, the love for your 802 00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:42,120 Speaker 4: daughter should trump anybody else. 803 00:39:42,239 --> 00:39:44,080 Speaker 5: All of these happened. But this is the thing. 804 00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:48,000 Speaker 4: You cannot really come out and say, my daughter is right, yes, 805 00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:49,399 Speaker 4: because you're just as wrong as. 806 00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:52,319 Speaker 3: That, because that's men that you had a part in it, exactly. 807 00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:56,960 Speaker 4: So she doesn't even even if she grew and she said, hey, 808 00:39:57,239 --> 00:39:59,320 Speaker 4: I love my daughter, I don't know what was wrong, whatever, 809 00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:02,120 Speaker 4: you still couldn't just be that way even if you 810 00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:06,480 Speaker 4: wanted to, because now you you know, zero point one 811 00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:08,120 Speaker 4: finger three pointed back at you at this. 812 00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:10,400 Speaker 5: Point, right right? 813 00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:13,160 Speaker 3: And then is your grandfather still alive? 814 00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:17,960 Speaker 4: My grandfather? Yeah, yeah, he's still alive. And that's who 815 00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:20,040 Speaker 4: she's protecting too, her father, her parents. 816 00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:20,640 Speaker 5: Right. 817 00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:27,160 Speaker 3: Do you think it's still going on to this day. 818 00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:31,040 Speaker 5: I think she has a weird love for my grandfather. 819 00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:35,000 Speaker 5: My mom love my mom had you. 820 00:40:34,960 --> 00:40:39,160 Speaker 4: Know, incess relationships with my grandfather for a while that 821 00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:41,680 Speaker 4: I feel like me, okay, so me, my mom and 822 00:40:41,760 --> 00:40:44,680 Speaker 4: my sister, and I'm just gonna say my sister's husband too, 823 00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:46,879 Speaker 4: because he was he was a part of the face time. 824 00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:52,400 Speaker 5: We were all on face time and. 825 00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:54,040 Speaker 4: We were just going to talk about everything that happened, 826 00:40:54,160 --> 00:41:00,239 Speaker 4: and she just started to her and my sister really 827 00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:02,440 Speaker 4: have a right. They really never really got along, so 828 00:41:02,560 --> 00:41:05,759 Speaker 4: they just going at it. So normally every time they 829 00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:07,400 Speaker 4: go at it, I'm more quiet. I'm just kind of 830 00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:10,359 Speaker 4: breaking them up. So on FaceTime, I'm like quiet, I'm 831 00:41:10,440 --> 00:41:12,000 Speaker 4: just like, hey, you know, y'all chill out. 832 00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:13,480 Speaker 5: And my mom like, that's. 833 00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:17,279 Speaker 4: My dad, that's my daddy, that's mine and he got 834 00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:19,439 Speaker 4: money and it's plenty more of that where that came from. 835 00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:22,160 Speaker 4: And I mean she's talking like she's talking to somebody 836 00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:25,160 Speaker 4: about her men, like what do you mean that's your daddy? 837 00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:28,879 Speaker 4: And because I guess my sister, my grandfather had loned 838 00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:30,080 Speaker 4: my sister some money, and she's. 839 00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:32,399 Speaker 5: Like, give my daddy's money back. It's plenty more where 840 00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:35,719 Speaker 5: that came from. And we got this and that's my dad, 841 00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:37,520 Speaker 5: not yours, And I'm. 842 00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:39,239 Speaker 4: Like, what the hell is wrong with So now I'm 843 00:41:39,280 --> 00:41:41,959 Speaker 4: really quiet because I'm evaluating my mama at this point, 844 00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:43,920 Speaker 4: like what the fuck is over there wrong with you? 845 00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:44,360 Speaker 3: Right? 846 00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:50,000 Speaker 4: And then she just really they just started cussing each 847 00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:52,320 Speaker 4: other out, and my sister's crying because at this point, 848 00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:54,920 Speaker 4: I am hurt because I know that my. 849 00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:58,680 Speaker 5: Mom don't got no love for my sister. 850 00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:02,239 Speaker 4: The where she's coming at her no love there, and 851 00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:04,479 Speaker 4: I think there's no love there, not because she don't 852 00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:06,680 Speaker 4: love I think my mom love her grandkids. 853 00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:07,520 Speaker 5: I do think that. 854 00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:10,520 Speaker 4: I think that I think there's some sort of love there, 855 00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:14,879 Speaker 4: but I think that she don't love my sister at all. 856 00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:16,560 Speaker 4: The way she came to her on that phone and 857 00:42:16,600 --> 00:42:19,800 Speaker 4: talking to her like that and not even paying attention 858 00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:22,919 Speaker 4: to the focus of the call is everything that's going 859 00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:24,200 Speaker 4: on on the recording. 860 00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:26,480 Speaker 5: She also said she was going to. 861 00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:30,240 Speaker 4: Die by die behind whatever, you know, die with those secrets. 862 00:42:30,239 --> 00:42:31,880 Speaker 4: She's never going to come out. She's never going to 863 00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:34,000 Speaker 4: tell the truth. She's never gonna say it. She's going 864 00:42:34,040 --> 00:42:36,919 Speaker 4: to protect her dad, her parents because she's just as 865 00:42:36,920 --> 00:42:40,120 Speaker 4: far at fault as they are. Wow. 866 00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:42,960 Speaker 5: So that leaves me standing alone. But God told me, 867 00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:43,400 Speaker 5: hell not. 868 00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:45,520 Speaker 3: Now, you're never alone. That's a fact you. 869 00:42:45,600 --> 00:42:49,480 Speaker 4: Are, yes, And then boom, I'm talking to you and I'm. 870 00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:52,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, because God is blessing you with so many big 871 00:42:52,239 --> 00:42:54,360 Speaker 2: platforms and the way. That's why I was like, we 872 00:42:54,400 --> 00:42:57,000 Speaker 2: got to make this happen because there's so many people 873 00:42:57,880 --> 00:42:58,560 Speaker 2: who lives. 874 00:42:58,560 --> 00:42:59,440 Speaker 3: Are you going to change? 875 00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:01,600 Speaker 2: And like, we gotta get this out there more because 876 00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:05,759 Speaker 2: the fact that incest is so is the fact that 877 00:43:05,760 --> 00:43:07,919 Speaker 2: it is still going on to this day, like right 878 00:43:07,920 --> 00:43:12,640 Speaker 2: in our faces. Like it's a really scary but necessary 879 00:43:12,680 --> 00:43:13,680 Speaker 2: conversation to have. 880 00:43:14,719 --> 00:43:15,200 Speaker 5: It is. 881 00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:18,040 Speaker 4: And I'm gonna say this to the women in the 882 00:43:18,080 --> 00:43:22,040 Speaker 4: world from me being in a situation like this. When 883 00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:27,680 Speaker 4: you have children, you cannot date only for you, right. 884 00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:31,440 Speaker 5: Facts you have to date for you and your kids. 885 00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:36,279 Speaker 4: Reason being, if I'm dating someone and red flex come 886 00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:39,160 Speaker 4: up and they affect me, they only affect me, right, 887 00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:42,360 Speaker 4: these are memories I'll tell my daughter when I'm with 888 00:43:42,640 --> 00:43:46,239 Speaker 4: my true king. Right, But when you have kids and 889 00:43:46,320 --> 00:43:49,600 Speaker 4: maybe one of his red flex may be pedophilia. And 890 00:43:49,640 --> 00:43:53,040 Speaker 4: then now this random person that you're dating is you 891 00:43:53,040 --> 00:43:56,000 Speaker 4: know that trauma is not on your children if you're 892 00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:58,880 Speaker 4: not paying attention. So you kind of gotta watch for 893 00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:01,960 Speaker 4: you have around your kids and you and your kids. 894 00:44:01,960 --> 00:44:04,640 Speaker 4: So if you meet him somewhere and then I find place, 895 00:44:05,920 --> 00:44:06,560 Speaker 4: keep it moving. 896 00:44:06,840 --> 00:44:10,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, So you share that your beasts beginning very early 897 00:44:10,719 --> 00:44:13,000 Speaker 2: in your life. Are there certain memories that still stay 898 00:44:13,040 --> 00:44:15,840 Speaker 2: with you to this day? And do you find it harder? 899 00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:17,360 Speaker 2: Do you find it hard to like revisit because I 900 00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:20,319 Speaker 2: can only imagine, like having conversations with myself other platforms, 901 00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:23,799 Speaker 2: like it has to be triggering at times, like do 902 00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:24,160 Speaker 2: you do. 903 00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:25,959 Speaker 3: Things to prepare for these conversations. 904 00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:31,880 Speaker 4: I'm saying silence in darkness, like I put all the 905 00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:37,359 Speaker 4: lights off. I'll I know, I isolate myself, Like that's 906 00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:42,520 Speaker 4: what really gives me peace, because I have a lot 907 00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:45,080 Speaker 4: going on in my mind, you know, I be you 908 00:44:45,120 --> 00:44:46,680 Speaker 4: know this is. 909 00:44:48,520 --> 00:44:50,479 Speaker 5: It has been a lot the last year. 910 00:44:50,719 --> 00:44:55,280 Speaker 4: I'll say, yeah, and so I would just in prayer, 911 00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:59,759 Speaker 4: you know, And that's really what I do. And if 912 00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:02,160 Speaker 4: I they need some type of counsel, I have a 913 00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:05,120 Speaker 4: lot of resources on campus that a lot of professors 914 00:45:05,120 --> 00:45:07,360 Speaker 4: that I'm cool with mentors, so I can definitely go 915 00:45:07,440 --> 00:45:08,040 Speaker 4: talk to them. 916 00:45:08,080 --> 00:45:10,080 Speaker 5: So that's pretty much what I do. And as far 917 00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:13,160 Speaker 5: as these conversations, I don't really prepare. 918 00:45:12,920 --> 00:45:15,440 Speaker 4: Because I feel like it's so raw and so real 919 00:45:15,480 --> 00:45:18,399 Speaker 4: for me that it flows out naturally. Right. 920 00:45:19,160 --> 00:45:23,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, right, And I know you're very active at your school. 921 00:45:23,200 --> 00:45:24,839 Speaker 2: So what are the professors and stuff say when they 922 00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:28,279 Speaker 2: found out about your story or just your your college friends. Yes, 923 00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:33,480 Speaker 2: so they were extremely supportive, extremely supportives my girl. 924 00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:41,920 Speaker 3: Yes, the Southern University, not the real TSU. The Tennessee State. 925 00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:48,799 Speaker 4: But they're not supportive. They have shared it with their colleagues. 926 00:45:49,800 --> 00:45:54,160 Speaker 4: We've had talked about getting me on KTSU. Yeah, so 927 00:45:54,560 --> 00:45:56,080 Speaker 4: it's it's been liberating. 928 00:45:56,080 --> 00:45:58,200 Speaker 5: They've been so supportive my peers. 929 00:45:58,239 --> 00:46:02,120 Speaker 4: Like they've had people on campus have come to me 930 00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:03,840 Speaker 4: and say, hey, I would like to come on your channel. 931 00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:06,799 Speaker 4: So it's it's gotten me attraction that at school there 932 00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:08,920 Speaker 4: like is that that rod that was on that interview? Right? 933 00:46:10,239 --> 00:46:13,120 Speaker 5: Right? But yeah, so supportive. 934 00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:17,040 Speaker 4: I really appreciate them just having my back. 935 00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:17,680 Speaker 5: Honestly. 936 00:46:18,520 --> 00:46:20,320 Speaker 3: Now, how old were you when the abuse started? 937 00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:21,560 Speaker 5: Four? 938 00:46:21,880 --> 00:46:26,000 Speaker 3: It started at four, and now you're thirty. Yes, And 939 00:46:26,040 --> 00:46:28,440 Speaker 3: when did the abuse end? 940 00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:33,120 Speaker 5: Middle school? Like six, sixth grade? Seventh grade? 941 00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:37,879 Speaker 4: Oh wow, because he went to the military. Uh, when 942 00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:38,960 Speaker 4: I was in seventh grade. 943 00:46:39,880 --> 00:46:42,120 Speaker 2: And at that time, do you think anybody outside of 944 00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:43,919 Speaker 2: the family noticed anything or. 945 00:46:43,840 --> 00:46:47,520 Speaker 5: Like absolutely absolutely. 946 00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:52,799 Speaker 4: So this may be a little Tami, but you know, 947 00:46:52,960 --> 00:46:57,279 Speaker 4: one of the major things is so he went he 948 00:46:57,360 --> 00:47:03,800 Speaker 4: went to camp, came back, and my mom went to 949 00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:07,440 Speaker 4: the graduation. Now this is back in the oh, I 950 00:47:07,440 --> 00:47:10,720 Speaker 4: don't know, I would say six o seven oh seven. 951 00:47:10,800 --> 00:47:12,160 Speaker 5: I'm gonna say, oh, seven oh eight. 952 00:47:14,480 --> 00:47:17,880 Speaker 4: She gets a camporder and takes it and she's she's 953 00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:19,719 Speaker 4: recording the graduation. 954 00:47:20,440 --> 00:47:21,799 Speaker 5: So we didn't go. 955 00:47:21,920 --> 00:47:25,040 Speaker 4: So I'm watching the graduation or whatever, and this is 956 00:47:25,080 --> 00:47:28,160 Speaker 4: my first time having anybody around me that had any 957 00:47:28,160 --> 00:47:32,480 Speaker 4: type of military experience, so I thought it was actually cool, right, 958 00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:36,480 Speaker 4: So I'm watching it or whatever, and. 959 00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:41,560 Speaker 5: There's multiple videos of it. 960 00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:45,080 Speaker 4: So a video pops up of them having sex enchanting 961 00:47:45,120 --> 00:47:47,239 Speaker 4: my name. So this is back when, And I just 962 00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:48,839 Speaker 4: want to be clear because I don't know. People think 963 00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:52,919 Speaker 4: I was just watching my mama tapes. Now, this back 964 00:47:52,960 --> 00:47:57,279 Speaker 4: when before we even had iPhones and flip phones and 965 00:47:57,280 --> 00:47:59,120 Speaker 4: all that. This is when we still had the rumors 966 00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:02,239 Speaker 4: of the kicks and shit. So I didn't really know 967 00:48:02,280 --> 00:48:05,359 Speaker 4: how to get back to the original video. And then 968 00:48:05,520 --> 00:48:08,400 Speaker 4: we know black mamas know when you've been in touch station. 969 00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:11,000 Speaker 5: So I'm like, I don't want to know. I've seen it. 970 00:48:11,040 --> 00:48:11,480 Speaker 5: I watched it. 971 00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:14,080 Speaker 4: If I'm trying to go back to find the graduate 972 00:48:14,239 --> 00:48:17,720 Speaker 4: the military graduation. But I tell my grandmother, I said, Granny, 973 00:48:17,800 --> 00:48:21,440 Speaker 4: you know, I seen this and it sounded like they 974 00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:28,439 Speaker 4: were saying my name, you know. So my aunt is there, 975 00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:31,799 Speaker 4: and she said, so she my aunt didn't look surprised, 976 00:48:33,480 --> 00:48:35,640 Speaker 4: so she said, I told her, I don't know if 977 00:48:35,640 --> 00:48:38,399 Speaker 4: my grandmother talked to her or whatever whatever the case 978 00:48:38,400 --> 00:48:38,680 Speaker 4: may be. 979 00:48:38,719 --> 00:48:40,040 Speaker 5: But now I'm looking back. 980 00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:42,480 Speaker 4: Even that, like I was a kid then I was 981 00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:46,319 Speaker 4: only eleven, so you know, but even that moment should 982 00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:47,800 Speaker 4: have been a CPS moment. 983 00:48:47,880 --> 00:48:49,319 Speaker 5: That should have been a moment. 984 00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:52,440 Speaker 3: Intimate with your nigga. 985 00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:54,360 Speaker 5: Yes, and then. 986 00:48:56,719 --> 00:48:59,560 Speaker 4: Leading to how I even got impregnated, because you know, 987 00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:01,400 Speaker 4: when I'm in sixth grade, You're not just coming in 988 00:49:01,400 --> 00:49:02,160 Speaker 4: my room and raping me. 989 00:49:02,200 --> 00:49:05,680 Speaker 5: It's not going down like that, right, So I would 990 00:49:05,719 --> 00:49:06,719 Speaker 5: always lock my door. 991 00:49:08,160 --> 00:49:11,000 Speaker 4: And one day I woke up and I could blurrily 992 00:49:11,040 --> 00:49:13,479 Speaker 4: see them and like it's almost like I was coming 993 00:49:13,480 --> 00:49:16,480 Speaker 4: out of like a deep sleep, kind of blurry, but 994 00:49:16,600 --> 00:49:19,239 Speaker 4: I saw them leaving out, and my underwear were down, 995 00:49:19,239 --> 00:49:21,319 Speaker 4: and there was a substance on me going to my 996 00:49:21,360 --> 00:49:24,680 Speaker 4: grandmother again my aunt. I could tell there's some type 997 00:49:24,719 --> 00:49:28,360 Speaker 4: of guilt or anger there because she's screaming at my grandmother, like, 998 00:49:28,520 --> 00:49:31,439 Speaker 4: you know, saying, like you know she loved you so much, 999 00:49:31,520 --> 00:49:33,360 Speaker 4: you need to stop lying. I heard you tell her 1000 00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:36,279 Speaker 4: the truth, She said, you know what the substance was, 1001 00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:39,760 Speaker 4: You know what it is she said, and they're giving 1002 00:49:39,760 --> 00:49:41,759 Speaker 4: her the same things y'all gave to us, which is 1003 00:49:41,960 --> 00:49:45,160 Speaker 4: chloroform and prepple fall. And that's how I even know 1004 00:49:45,200 --> 00:49:47,880 Speaker 4: the names of the medication, because she they were arguing 1005 00:49:47,920 --> 00:49:52,160 Speaker 4: about the medication that day. That that day that you know, 1006 00:49:52,200 --> 00:49:54,040 Speaker 4: I came in and told her about the substance. So 1007 00:49:54,280 --> 00:49:56,359 Speaker 4: my aunt told me, when you go home tonight, don't 1008 00:49:56,400 --> 00:49:56,920 Speaker 4: go to sleep. 1009 00:49:57,160 --> 00:50:00,080 Speaker 5: Stay up. They're coming to your room. Stay up. So 1010 00:50:00,320 --> 00:50:03,360 Speaker 5: that's exactly what I did. I stayed up the. 1011 00:50:03,440 --> 00:50:05,040 Speaker 4: On Behold, I came in my room, so I said, 1012 00:50:05,040 --> 00:50:07,000 Speaker 4: why are y'all coming in my room? Oh, we just 1013 00:50:07,040 --> 00:50:12,000 Speaker 4: wanted to make sure you were sleeping, okay, sleeping okay like, 1014 00:50:12,560 --> 00:50:15,440 Speaker 4: So that's when I started to and that's when me 1015 00:50:15,480 --> 00:50:18,000 Speaker 4: and my mom relationship really weakened because I knew I 1016 00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:20,120 Speaker 4: couldn't trust her at that point, I knew that I 1017 00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:21,280 Speaker 4: was totally. 1018 00:50:20,960 --> 00:50:22,399 Speaker 5: Not safe with her at all. 1019 00:50:24,200 --> 00:50:28,920 Speaker 4: And not long after that, my sister and I'm jumping, 1020 00:50:30,239 --> 00:50:34,319 Speaker 4: but my sister moved out, I would say, when she 1021 00:50:34,520 --> 00:50:38,240 Speaker 4: was in the ninth grade and never came back. 1022 00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:44,279 Speaker 3: So you m h was he messing with her as well? 1023 00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:48,719 Speaker 4: No, My that was my sister had an experience with 1024 00:50:48,760 --> 00:50:50,640 Speaker 4: a total different man. So my sister went through the 1025 00:50:50,640 --> 00:50:53,319 Speaker 4: same things I went through, but it was with a 1026 00:50:53,400 --> 00:50:57,080 Speaker 4: prior boyfriend to her the man she's with now. 1027 00:50:57,560 --> 00:50:59,880 Speaker 3: Because your mom was allowing men to come and have 1028 00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:00,680 Speaker 3: sex with y'all. 1029 00:51:01,440 --> 00:51:05,600 Speaker 4: Oh absolutely made my sister like my older sister. She 1030 00:51:05,640 --> 00:51:10,200 Speaker 4: would make her sit out and watch porn videos and 1031 00:51:10,719 --> 00:51:14,040 Speaker 4: all kind of stuff. And even then, like even back, 1032 00:51:14,560 --> 00:51:17,400 Speaker 4: like I will say, I'm. 1033 00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:21,440 Speaker 5: The person that tried to fight. Didn't have a lot 1034 00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:23,240 Speaker 5: of leeway, which was my dad's mother. 1035 00:51:24,280 --> 00:51:28,400 Speaker 4: We were taken away from them for seven years, and 1036 00:51:28,480 --> 00:51:32,719 Speaker 4: my grandmother never trusted my mother with us. I don't 1037 00:51:32,719 --> 00:51:38,719 Speaker 4: think she really. I think she understood grieving more than 1038 00:51:38,760 --> 00:51:41,680 Speaker 4: my mother did. And I think that my grandmother because 1039 00:51:41,680 --> 00:51:44,000 Speaker 4: my grandmother has lost my father at twenty one, but 1040 00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:47,080 Speaker 4: my uncle, her youngest son, also got hit by a 1041 00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:50,680 Speaker 4: car the six so she understands grieving. And I think 1042 00:51:50,680 --> 00:51:52,439 Speaker 4: she tried to help my mom. I know she tried 1043 00:51:52,440 --> 00:51:54,840 Speaker 4: to help my mom as much as she could. She's 1044 00:51:54,920 --> 00:51:58,439 Speaker 4: put her in homes, got her cars, you know, pay 1045 00:51:58,520 --> 00:52:05,160 Speaker 4: for every cheerleading camp, band, camp, school clothes, always has exactly. 1046 00:52:05,200 --> 00:52:07,839 Speaker 4: But my mom felt like my grandmother was in her 1047 00:52:07,920 --> 00:52:10,640 Speaker 4: business every time she would speak on you know, who 1048 00:52:10,760 --> 00:52:13,880 Speaker 4: is this man that you're with and whatever guilty and 1049 00:52:13,960 --> 00:52:18,360 Speaker 4: so you know, it's just and even things like my 1050 00:52:18,360 --> 00:52:19,799 Speaker 4: my family would and that's another thing. 1051 00:52:19,880 --> 00:52:21,600 Speaker 5: My dad's side and my mom always fought. 1052 00:52:21,640 --> 00:52:24,400 Speaker 4: Like my when I was like in second grade, my 1053 00:52:24,400 --> 00:52:29,040 Speaker 4: mom and my aunt got into a fight, and I knew, 1054 00:52:28,880 --> 00:52:31,759 Speaker 4: I knew, I knew I was alone all my life. 1055 00:52:31,760 --> 00:52:33,200 Speaker 5: I knew something was wrong with my mom and. 1056 00:52:33,239 --> 00:52:36,120 Speaker 4: My life because my after my mom and my aunt 1057 00:52:36,239 --> 00:52:38,560 Speaker 4: was fighting, she said, that's why your brother did. But 1058 00:52:38,640 --> 00:52:40,920 Speaker 4: I'm thinking in my mind, like isn't that my dad? 1059 00:52:41,280 --> 00:52:44,919 Speaker 4: So I'm standing there just looking that would that kind 1060 00:52:44,920 --> 00:52:47,760 Speaker 4: of grew me up like that, that timent at that moment, 1061 00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:49,799 Speaker 4: because my mom did used to tell me, oh, she 1062 00:52:49,840 --> 00:52:52,200 Speaker 4: loves my dad and all these things. So when she 1063 00:52:52,400 --> 00:52:57,080 Speaker 4: said that, it kind of just really made me look 1064 00:52:57,120 --> 00:53:00,840 Speaker 4: at my mom different so young like that Mimi. 1065 00:53:01,040 --> 00:53:03,239 Speaker 5: No, that was just like what the hell? You know? 1066 00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:05,319 Speaker 5: And maybe it was the other DNA and me. 1067 00:53:05,800 --> 00:53:08,719 Speaker 2: Right, I just couldn't imagine, like I think about like 1068 00:53:08,719 --> 00:53:11,279 Speaker 2: what you said earlier, like like I love my nieces, right, 1069 00:53:11,280 --> 00:53:14,759 Speaker 2: and I just couldn't imagine allowing something to happen to 1070 00:53:14,880 --> 00:53:17,360 Speaker 2: any child in my presence, and like you share some 1071 00:53:17,400 --> 00:53:20,640 Speaker 2: stories about how she will just hold you back while 1072 00:53:20,880 --> 00:53:23,640 Speaker 2: her husband would take advantage of you, And to me, 1073 00:53:23,719 --> 00:53:26,160 Speaker 2: I'm just like, what the hell does your father do 1074 00:53:26,280 --> 00:53:27,960 Speaker 2: to you to break you like that to the point 1075 00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:30,160 Speaker 2: where you have no soul? 1076 00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:34,480 Speaker 5: Yeah, because that's a. 1077 00:53:34,520 --> 00:53:39,520 Speaker 2: Different type of evil, Like that's that's it's really fucked up. 1078 00:53:41,040 --> 00:53:45,320 Speaker 5: It is the majority of that happening Alba crossing apartments. 1079 00:53:44,920 --> 00:53:52,680 Speaker 4: In the spek in Michigan, And that was a horrific 1080 00:53:52,840 --> 00:53:54,640 Speaker 4: time to me just because like. 1081 00:53:55,080 --> 00:53:58,279 Speaker 3: And the fact that you remember everything is so vividly. 1082 00:53:58,400 --> 00:54:01,560 Speaker 4: It's so vivid because it was so scary and so 1083 00:54:01,640 --> 00:54:03,640 Speaker 4: traumatic for me at the time, Like it's something that 1084 00:54:03,680 --> 00:54:07,880 Speaker 4: would that visual will never leave me. But I never understood, 1085 00:54:07,880 --> 00:54:10,080 Speaker 4: like I will never understand how mother can hold her 1086 00:54:10,200 --> 00:54:13,520 Speaker 4: baby's hands down and her feet down and allow him 1087 00:54:13,560 --> 00:54:16,080 Speaker 4: to beat her or you know, even when I spoke 1088 00:54:16,160 --> 00:54:19,760 Speaker 4: on I didn't speak on this in my five fight series, 1089 00:54:19,760 --> 00:54:21,279 Speaker 4: but I spoke on this, and I think it was 1090 00:54:21,320 --> 00:54:25,480 Speaker 4: the ones in order for an interview, putting the luge 1091 00:54:25,560 --> 00:54:28,400 Speaker 4: down there, you know, in my bathroom area and telling 1092 00:54:28,440 --> 00:54:30,200 Speaker 4: me she know it doesn't hurt because she put the 1093 00:54:30,200 --> 00:54:33,600 Speaker 4: whole bottle. You know, things like that are things that 1094 00:54:33,760 --> 00:54:37,480 Speaker 4: will never leave me, or even going to the extent, 1095 00:54:37,600 --> 00:54:40,200 Speaker 4: and I'm just being honest because this is where I'm real. 1096 00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:44,960 Speaker 5: Of me pushing my face in his ain'tal area. 1097 00:54:45,080 --> 00:54:48,879 Speaker 4: Things like that, you know, those are things that will 1098 00:54:48,960 --> 00:54:50,560 Speaker 4: never leave me. 1099 00:54:51,040 --> 00:54:56,920 Speaker 5: And those are I think memories and just wounds. 1100 00:54:56,520 --> 00:55:00,719 Speaker 4: That I think forever changed that relationship before it even 1101 00:55:01,560 --> 00:55:02,920 Speaker 4: got to blossom and bloom. 1102 00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:05,839 Speaker 5: And I think that my mom sees that now. 1103 00:55:06,840 --> 00:55:11,120 Speaker 4: I think, yeah, it's way too late, girl, and you 1104 00:55:11,160 --> 00:55:14,120 Speaker 4: want to it's too late, and you know I have 1105 00:55:14,440 --> 00:55:18,759 Speaker 4: I understand now that there's mentors, there's other women who 1106 00:55:18,760 --> 00:55:21,080 Speaker 4: have a similar story that it is farther than I 1107 00:55:21,120 --> 00:55:24,439 Speaker 4: am that could help me, you know, like coaches. There's 1108 00:55:24,480 --> 00:55:26,399 Speaker 4: so many other women that have reached out and that's 1109 00:55:26,400 --> 00:55:29,920 Speaker 4: there for me that I just need guidance at this point. 1110 00:55:30,040 --> 00:55:32,880 Speaker 4: You know, thank you for bringing me here, and that's why, 1111 00:55:33,880 --> 00:55:37,040 Speaker 4: that's why I'm still gonna be a child of God 1112 00:55:37,080 --> 00:55:40,920 Speaker 4: and say I love you forgiving me life, but I 1113 00:55:40,920 --> 00:55:43,319 Speaker 4: don't respect you as a mother, as a woman, and 1114 00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:44,520 Speaker 4: we do not see I die. 1115 00:55:45,200 --> 00:55:46,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, no, it's a fact. 1116 00:55:46,400 --> 00:55:49,399 Speaker 2: Listen, I don't have no relationship with my mother because 1117 00:55:49,400 --> 00:55:51,080 Speaker 2: of the things that she has done to me. But 1118 00:55:51,120 --> 00:55:53,920 Speaker 2: I also believe that, you know, mothering can come in 1119 00:55:53,960 --> 00:55:56,399 Speaker 2: different ways. Doesn't have to come from a person who 1120 00:55:56,400 --> 00:55:58,600 Speaker 2: gave you birth. So mothering can be from your homegirl, 1121 00:55:58,719 --> 00:56:01,320 Speaker 2: it can be from an older woman, somebody at school, 1122 00:56:01,440 --> 00:56:03,080 Speaker 2: like you can get mother. Sometimes you can get mother 1123 00:56:03,120 --> 00:56:05,880 Speaker 2: from a man, you know what I'm saying. So I 1124 00:56:05,960 --> 00:56:08,759 Speaker 2: definitely agree with you on that. Another thing that you 1125 00:56:08,800 --> 00:56:11,520 Speaker 2: mentioned in your story that on top of you being 1126 00:56:11,680 --> 00:56:14,320 Speaker 2: drug she was still in the drugs from the hospital 1127 00:56:14,320 --> 00:56:15,480 Speaker 2: she was working at. 1128 00:56:15,719 --> 00:56:22,720 Speaker 5: Yes, she was working. She was working in the Northwood. 1129 00:56:24,160 --> 00:56:29,440 Speaker 4: And that is a psychiatric hospital and stealing the sedate 1130 00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:30,080 Speaker 4: of drugs. 1131 00:56:31,000 --> 00:56:33,960 Speaker 5: And it was a. 1132 00:56:33,480 --> 00:56:36,680 Speaker 4: Coreformis assumptance that you can put like on the cloth. 1133 00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:41,240 Speaker 4: So that was and I had one of those doors, 1134 00:56:41,280 --> 00:56:43,040 Speaker 4: like those ninety doors you can get in with a 1135 00:56:43,080 --> 00:56:45,200 Speaker 4: butter knife. Yeah, so that's how they was getting in 1136 00:56:45,200 --> 00:56:47,680 Speaker 4: my room and I was already sleep. So then when 1137 00:56:47,719 --> 00:56:49,840 Speaker 4: you put that under their nose, it puts them in 1138 00:56:49,880 --> 00:56:52,120 Speaker 4: a deeper sleep. I don't know if you've ever seen 1139 00:56:52,160 --> 00:56:54,880 Speaker 4: the movie Taken, Yeah, and do you remember. 1140 00:56:54,680 --> 00:56:55,520 Speaker 5: She was under the bed. 1141 00:56:56,000 --> 00:56:58,600 Speaker 4: They put it that towel over her face and she 1142 00:56:58,640 --> 00:57:00,680 Speaker 4: woke up in that room. 1143 00:57:00,719 --> 00:57:01,520 Speaker 5: That's a real thing. 1144 00:57:01,600 --> 00:57:04,040 Speaker 4: And I want people to know that this is when 1145 00:57:04,120 --> 00:57:08,680 Speaker 4: people what do you think, these directors and these people 1146 00:57:08,680 --> 00:57:10,800 Speaker 4: who are in the industry, when they make these movies, 1147 00:57:10,840 --> 00:57:15,640 Speaker 4: they get the ideas from somewhere, you know, we axactly 1148 00:57:15,880 --> 00:57:19,240 Speaker 4: and so these even if you're at a party, there's 1149 00:57:19,280 --> 00:57:21,840 Speaker 4: so many college women that can say, Hey, I'm a 1150 00:57:21,880 --> 00:57:24,880 Speaker 4: survivor of getting a roofie in my drink and not 1151 00:57:25,040 --> 00:57:28,000 Speaker 4: knowing what happened. You know, So these sex drugs and 1152 00:57:28,040 --> 00:57:32,560 Speaker 4: date rape drugs, and you know they're real. 1153 00:57:33,080 --> 00:57:35,360 Speaker 5: And and and it's. 1154 00:57:35,800 --> 00:57:40,160 Speaker 4: And honestly, what this is now called what the turn? 1155 00:57:40,800 --> 00:57:43,520 Speaker 4: Because what was going on, it's sex trafficking. If I'm 1156 00:57:43,560 --> 00:57:46,400 Speaker 4: having a baby at twelve in the house, there's people 1157 00:57:47,240 --> 00:57:50,440 Speaker 4: men raping little girls. This is just a sex callt 1158 00:57:50,600 --> 00:57:53,000 Speaker 4: sex trafficking situation going on. 1159 00:57:53,640 --> 00:57:55,800 Speaker 5: And I think back then. 1160 00:57:56,080 --> 00:57:58,720 Speaker 4: People were not looking for it because it sounds so 1161 00:57:58,880 --> 00:58:02,160 Speaker 4: unheard of. And now that we know that this is 1162 00:58:02,200 --> 00:58:06,840 Speaker 4: a billion dollar business today in the United States, there 1163 00:58:06,960 --> 00:58:10,000 Speaker 4: is a girl being taken taken every second. 1164 00:58:10,120 --> 00:58:11,320 Speaker 3: Every every second. 1165 00:58:11,920 --> 00:58:15,520 Speaker 4: Yes, So I mean, watch your kids make sure when 1166 00:58:15,560 --> 00:58:17,880 Speaker 4: you know that you watch your kids, that you have 1167 00:58:17,960 --> 00:58:22,800 Speaker 4: relationships with the teachers and with their coaches, because it matters. 1168 00:58:23,200 --> 00:58:27,960 Speaker 2: This concludes part one of this week's episode, Who Child. 1169 00:58:28,080 --> 00:58:30,600 Speaker 2: I know y'all are going to be emailing me and 1170 00:58:30,680 --> 00:58:33,160 Speaker 2: dming me and texting me, so please let me know 1171 00:58:33,200 --> 00:58:36,320 Speaker 2: what you think about this week's episode. I am definitely 1172 00:58:36,360 --> 00:58:39,880 Speaker 2: looking forward to hearing your thoughts. Part two will be 1173 00:58:39,960 --> 00:58:45,640 Speaker 2: dropping next week, same time, same place, and until next time, everyone, take. 1174 00:58:45,520 --> 00:58:47,280 Speaker 3: Care of yourself later. 1175 00:58:53,640 --> 00:58:57,120 Speaker 2: Pretty Private is a production of the Black Effect podcast Network. 1176 00:58:57,360 --> 00:58:58,640 Speaker 3: For more podcasts from. 1177 00:58:58,600 --> 00:59:03,520 Speaker 2: iHeartRadio, this is the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever 1178 00:59:03,640 --> 00:59:06,840 Speaker 2: you listen to your favorite shows. Don't forget to subscribe 1179 00:59:06,960 --> 00:59:09,640 Speaker 2: and rate the show, and you can connect with me 1180 00:59:09,760 --> 00:59:12,560 Speaker 2: on social media at Pretty Private Podcasts