1 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:08,039 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Anny and Samantha and welcome to Steffan 2 00:00:08,119 --> 00:00:19,119 Speaker 1: never told your production of I Heart Radio. So in 3 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:21,120 Speaker 1: the beginning of this episode, we're going to go ahead 4 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:23,320 Speaker 1: and put in this trigger warning. We are going to 5 00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:27,720 Speaker 1: be mentioning sexual abuse, assault, and religious trauma. So justin 6 00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:30,360 Speaker 1: f y I and as you probably can tell from 7 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:33,760 Speaker 1: the title, we are going into the world of purity 8 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:37,920 Speaker 1: and virginity. So there you go. Um, we're not gonna 9 00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:40,320 Speaker 1: be too explicit, but there are some things where I 10 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:44,680 Speaker 1: think it could get sensitive, you know, yes, and peek 11 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:50,320 Speaker 1: behind the podcast curtains. Depending on what how much Samantha 12 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:52,800 Speaker 1: and I have to say on top of foot researched, 13 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:57,840 Speaker 1: this could be a two partner we don't know. Is 14 00:00:57,880 --> 00:01:02,320 Speaker 1: a surprise for all? Is all? Right? Well, Annie, I 15 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:04,280 Speaker 1: do have a question for you, and I don't think 16 00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:08,560 Speaker 1: we've ever talked about this. Hey, did your parents ever 17 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:13,360 Speaker 1: talk to you about the birds and the bees? Um? 18 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:18,920 Speaker 1: They attempted to, so. Well, what happened was I was 19 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:26,520 Speaker 1: in eighth grade and my dad at this time he 20 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:28,200 Speaker 1: was the one who used to pick me up because 21 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:30,440 Speaker 1: he worked near me and he was a college professor, 22 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:33,880 Speaker 1: so oftentimes, like his schedule lined up, so it was 23 00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:36,360 Speaker 1: easy for him to pick pick me up. And this 24 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:41,600 Speaker 1: resulted in some you know, really awkward father daughter but 25 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:43,720 Speaker 1: like it shouldn't be awkward, but it was awkward of 26 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:46,120 Speaker 1: like me having to buy paths and stuff, so he 27 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:48,000 Speaker 1: knew like that was going on. I was really young 28 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:50,640 Speaker 1: when I got my first period, but we were stuck 29 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:53,600 Speaker 1: in traffic because it's a small town that all the 30 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:56,920 Speaker 1: roads get packed around school time, and he just brought 31 00:01:56,960 --> 00:02:00,120 Speaker 1: it up out of nowhere of like, so, do you 32 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:04,200 Speaker 1: know what sex is? And I said yes, And there 33 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:09,040 Speaker 1: was a like really prolonged, protracted talk reposs and he 34 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:12,880 Speaker 1: said okay, good, and that was the end of it. 35 00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:21,560 Speaker 1: So essentially I was a little annoyed when this happened 36 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:23,840 Speaker 1: because I was like, of course I already know about this. 37 00:02:23,919 --> 00:02:26,600 Speaker 1: You're way too late to be giving me this talk. 38 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:29,799 Speaker 1: But I did have questions, and I honestly didn't really know. 39 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:32,120 Speaker 1: I knew like what I've heard from friends and when 40 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:35,919 Speaker 1: I looked up in the encyclopedia, but it felt so 41 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:41,760 Speaker 1: like uncool and extremely awkward to tell my dad like, yeah, 42 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:44,040 Speaker 1: I am fifteen and I wouldn't like to learn more 43 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:49,440 Speaker 1: about sex. So and he was equally like, he did 44 00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:51,440 Speaker 1: not follow up after I said I know what it is. 45 00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:56,320 Speaker 1: That was the end. That was the attempted talk. Okay, 46 00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:58,840 Speaker 1: and during that time, did you have any moment of 47 00:02:58,919 --> 00:03:02,360 Speaker 1: what he talked about your responsibility as the girl? No, 48 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:09,079 Speaker 1: it was literally just the tense, very tense, awkward. I'm 49 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:13,160 Speaker 1: glad you know about it. I remember having a teetering 50 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:16,800 Speaker 1: moment where it felt like he was on the verge 51 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:20,840 Speaker 1: of asking have you had sex or like going into it, 52 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:23,920 Speaker 1: and he didn't pursue it, but I did. I had 53 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:27,840 Speaker 1: like this nervous anticipation of he was going to ask, 54 00:03:28,639 --> 00:03:31,440 Speaker 1: and if he had, I don't know what I would 55 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:37,360 Speaker 1: have done, right, because I might have I might have lied. 56 00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:41,920 Speaker 1: I'm not sure. I'm not sure. It's interesting. Well, there's 57 00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:45,200 Speaker 1: a whole other level to that, but yeah, did you 58 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 1: ever talk to your mom about it? I didn't talk 59 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:51,360 Speaker 1: to my mom about it. I asked her about other 60 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:55,360 Speaker 1: kind of related things. I guess, uh, And I would 61 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,680 Speaker 1: ask her like, how do you meet people? It seems 62 00:03:57,680 --> 00:03:59,320 Speaker 1: like they're doing it in a bar, and she's like, oh, no, 63 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:04,680 Speaker 1: not that, but not really yeah, yeah, yeah, So for myself, 64 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:07,320 Speaker 1: I did have a moment where my mother came and 65 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:12,480 Speaker 1: approached me, but it wasn't necessarily about sex as much 66 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,680 Speaker 1: as she kind of just get her history about herself 67 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:19,640 Speaker 1: and her my dad have always been together and they've 68 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:24,200 Speaker 1: been together happily since a very young age, and like 69 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:28,160 Speaker 1: because they were so not like there were a permanent 70 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:31,240 Speaker 1: fixture in my life that they were the couple, no 71 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:33,839 Speaker 1: other couple. They didn't really date anybody else. It was 72 00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:36,560 Speaker 1: just them. They got married, they've been together. They would 73 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:38,480 Speaker 1: not know what to do with out each other type 74 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:41,080 Speaker 1: of level. So some of the things that we talked about, 75 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:44,040 Speaker 1: she had a lot of shame factor on herself, which 76 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:46,360 Speaker 1: I was kind of like. It was like I wasn't 77 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:49,560 Speaker 1: super shocked, but I was like, you know, that's not uncommon. Okay, 78 00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:52,320 Speaker 1: everything has worked out, it's beautiful. Your marriage is beautiful. 79 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:55,080 Speaker 1: I don't understand what's happening. But it was a weird 80 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:57,719 Speaker 1: like connotation of you know, we did it this way. 81 00:04:57,760 --> 00:04:59,400 Speaker 1: You don't have to do it this way, but this 82 00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:01,720 Speaker 1: is what this it's like, and and being in love 83 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:05,120 Speaker 1: is beautiful. And I will say like they definitely encouraged 84 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:07,599 Speaker 1: the whole way you till you're married thing, but it 85 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:12,240 Speaker 1: wasn't pushed. It was also, I think a little beyond them, 86 00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:16,960 Speaker 1: because the expectation was everybody's human and everybody's gonna sin. 87 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:19,800 Speaker 1: Now not necessarily just make mistakes, but sin. It does 88 00:05:19,839 --> 00:05:23,280 Speaker 1: doesn't like to them, it was sin, but it wasn't unforgivable, 89 00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:26,880 Speaker 1: if that makes sense. And again, as you the audience, 90 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:28,640 Speaker 1: you know the listeners, you probably already you know and 91 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:31,880 Speaker 1: can tell as it was in the subject, it's in 92 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:33,440 Speaker 1: the heading, so you kind of already know what you're 93 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:37,840 Speaker 1: jumping into. Yesterday's episode. We are jumping into the wormhole 94 00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:41,800 Speaker 1: of the ideology, myths and even the history and origination 95 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:47,279 Speaker 1: of virginity and purity. And y'all, oh god, what a 96 00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:50,520 Speaker 1: spiral it was and is. There are so many books, 97 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:52,640 Speaker 1: of course, and there's a lot of conversation that's been 98 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:55,440 Speaker 1: happening that needs to happen, and there's still a lot 99 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:58,279 Speaker 1: of opposing views. I think this is probably one of 100 00:05:58,279 --> 00:06:01,680 Speaker 1: those things that would split my family in half, like 101 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:04,400 Speaker 1: the conversations would go back and forth, like we make 102 00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:07,479 Speaker 1: jokes about things. And again, my parents and my family 103 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:13,800 Speaker 1: are not necessarily stickler sticklers, but the whole idea of morality, purity, virginity, 104 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:17,479 Speaker 1: it's a serious thing. It's a serious concept for my family, 105 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:21,640 Speaker 1: who was very, very very religious. But there's no shunning. 106 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:24,159 Speaker 1: I would say that. As much as they would love 107 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:27,240 Speaker 1: to say everybody's perfect in this family, they wouldn't never 108 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:32,000 Speaker 1: dismiss or like send someone off because they disagreed. So 109 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:39,440 Speaker 1: I will say that. But yeah, it's a really divisive issue. Yeah. Yeah, 110 00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:41,800 Speaker 1: And again it's another one of those things. And we're 111 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:43,960 Speaker 1: going to talk about some of our own personal experiences 112 00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:47,880 Speaker 1: and thoughts around it as we go. But um, that 113 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:52,640 Speaker 1: I have learned is not a big deal in every 114 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:56,719 Speaker 1: culture or in every society. And that was kind of 115 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:59,479 Speaker 1: a shock to me because in my growing up in 116 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:02,200 Speaker 1: the US in the South, with yeah, I would see 117 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:06,039 Speaker 1: things like you're describing with my really Christian friends with 118 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,760 Speaker 1: their parents being like, you can't have sex before marriage 119 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:10,760 Speaker 1: and all that stuff, and being asked to go to 120 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:13,800 Speaker 1: like purity ceremonies. So I had that with me and 121 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,880 Speaker 1: I thought it was, you know, just a big deal 122 00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:18,680 Speaker 1: across the board around the world, and I learned that's 123 00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:25,760 Speaker 1: not quite the case. Yes, so virginity and here, yes, 124 00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:29,480 Speaker 1: we are talking about the whole heteronormative concept of male 125 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:34,480 Speaker 1: and female penis and vagina intercourse, which, yes, is why 126 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:37,200 Speaker 1: this whole concept is misleading and problematic, or at least 127 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:40,920 Speaker 1: one of the things that makes it problematic and misleading. 128 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:42,680 Speaker 1: So just to put that right at the top, that 129 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:46,200 Speaker 1: is what we're talking about. So let's start, in typical 130 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:52,080 Speaker 1: sminty fashion with some definitions. Virginity as defined by Miriam Webster, 131 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:56,080 Speaker 1: the quality our state of being a virgin, especially maidenhood 132 00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:59,840 Speaker 1: or the unmarried life celibacy, and for bonus points here 133 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:02,240 Speaker 1: may aiden hood is defined as the quality state or 134 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:05,440 Speaker 1: time of being a maiden or an unmarried girl or woman. 135 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:11,280 Speaker 1: So yes, already we can see the sexisting of where 136 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:15,000 Speaker 1: this word came from. Another definition of virginity can also 137 00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:17,880 Speaker 1: be described as the state of never having engaged in 138 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:22,680 Speaker 1: sexual intercourse. Again very heateronormative and very cis gender type 139 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:26,200 Speaker 1: of conversation here or can be characterized as a state 140 00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:30,960 Speaker 1: of purity, and here purity means physical chastity, going back 141 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,720 Speaker 1: to virginity, so it's like a back and forth. Obviously 142 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:37,040 Speaker 1: these terms seemed to go cyclical. Just go ahead with 143 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:40,280 Speaker 1: that there, Yes, And I was just reminded as you 144 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:44,319 Speaker 1: were going through that I had friends named chastity. Yes, 145 00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:48,559 Speaker 1: that was a punchline in a recent episode of Parks 146 00:08:48,559 --> 00:08:53,160 Speaker 1: and Wreck that I just watched. I've forgotten about that one. 147 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:56,480 Speaker 1: And while we're here, we might as well go through 148 00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:59,719 Speaker 1: some of the slang that is used for those who 149 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:02,720 Speaker 1: have had sex for the first time, such as popping 150 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:06,800 Speaker 1: your cherry, cherry popping, de virginized, whole, punch the V card, 151 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:10,160 Speaker 1: broke the bands up, plowed, losing your religion, Papa luck, 152 00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:14,000 Speaker 1: de virginization, swiping the V card, and so many more. 153 00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:15,880 Speaker 1: A lot of them don't make much sense. A lot 154 00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:18,480 Speaker 1: of the ones I just went through I've never heard, 155 00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:22,920 Speaker 1: and I'm kind of confused. But all right, well, the 156 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:25,360 Speaker 1: list is very long, and some of them didn't quite 157 00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:27,880 Speaker 1: make sense, and I think that's because of my naivety. 158 00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:30,680 Speaker 1: I'm gonna leave it there. The website that I use 159 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:33,760 Speaker 1: it's quite long as in fact, it's also censored, so 160 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:36,360 Speaker 1: it's blurred. You have to click approvals to get to 161 00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:39,480 Speaker 1: see all of them, and the ones that were blurred 162 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:41,560 Speaker 1: didn't make sense as to why it was blurred, So 163 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:45,640 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I definitely don't understand me. And then 164 00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:48,320 Speaker 1: you have to debate, like is this worth looking it 165 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:52,480 Speaker 1: up in my history. Yeah, like this is already bad, 166 00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:55,640 Speaker 1: and yeah, I think your listeners already know our sortines 167 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,000 Speaker 1: are going to be crazy and people are would be like, 168 00:09:58,040 --> 00:10:00,640 Speaker 1: what's wrong with you? What kind of de vann r you? 169 00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:04,040 Speaker 1: But there was so many and of course a lot 170 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:08,319 Speaker 1: of them also had uh connotations of like losing something 171 00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:12,520 Speaker 1: everything being virgin, so whether you're your first kiss, then 172 00:10:12,559 --> 00:10:15,560 Speaker 1: you got you know, you're virgin to kissing type of things. 173 00:10:15,559 --> 00:10:17,560 Speaker 1: So that had those words as well. So I was like, 174 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:21,040 Speaker 1: that's not what we're looking for, but that that rabbit 175 00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:25,040 Speaker 1: hole was fun, Yeah, I'm sure and confusing. I remember 176 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:27,559 Speaker 1: that was the thing too when you were in high 177 00:10:27,559 --> 00:10:29,800 Speaker 1: school and you would like, because there's all those things 178 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:33,440 Speaker 1: with cherries on them, frightened towards young girls, and you 179 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:38,320 Speaker 1: would be like, somehow that became almost like an invitation, right, 180 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:40,960 Speaker 1: so you I wouldn't wear anything with cherries on it. 181 00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:44,440 Speaker 1: It was like, I didn't know. I don't think I 182 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:46,680 Speaker 1: wore anything with fruit, Like it was just weird to 183 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:49,040 Speaker 1: me to wear any patterns with fruit on it anyway, 184 00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:52,400 Speaker 1: So I didn't, but it was not a thing that 185 00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:54,360 Speaker 1: was in my head. Of course, we did the whole 186 00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:57,839 Speaker 1: like tying the stem the cherry stuff with your tongue, 187 00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:00,079 Speaker 1: and that was supposed to be sexual. Somehow, everything was 188 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:03,000 Speaker 1: sexual at that point if you're a teenager. So also, 189 00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:06,559 Speaker 1: we are going to talk about the hymen throughout. We're 190 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:11,000 Speaker 1: not necessarily looking at it through all of our conversation obviously, 191 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:14,640 Speaker 1: but it is a topic that we do want to address, 192 00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:17,680 Speaker 1: and go ahead and put that term here, and let's 193 00:11:17,679 --> 00:11:19,880 Speaker 1: go ahead and define it. Which the hymen is the 194 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:23,600 Speaker 1: thin membrane that surrounds the opening of the vagina. And 195 00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:26,280 Speaker 1: just for reference, it comes in all different shapes and 196 00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:28,520 Speaker 1: it's different for every person, and some people don't even 197 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:31,240 Speaker 1: have it. One statistic actually showed that it was one 198 00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:34,320 Speaker 1: and one thousand women who didn't have one at all 199 00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:37,679 Speaker 1: and never did have one. I would say those numbers 200 00:11:37,679 --> 00:11:41,400 Speaker 1: are definitely just an estimation since you can't tell sometimes. 201 00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:45,960 Speaker 1: So yeah, I don't gosh, that was another like miss 202 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:47,680 Speaker 1: about that, which I know we're going to get into. 203 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:49,400 Speaker 1: But you know, if you're riding your back too hard 204 00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:55,079 Speaker 1: or if you masturbate, then basically have in quotes the 205 00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:57,640 Speaker 1: last year of virginity, right, And that was a concern 206 00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,960 Speaker 1: I believe that I asked my mom that I was 207 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:07,239 Speaker 1: worried about it, and then now looking back and I'm like, yeah, 208 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:10,440 Speaker 1: let's talk about some origins. The term first and foremost 209 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:14,720 Speaker 1: virginity or version actually came into play into the English 210 00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:18,560 Speaker 1: language in the third century, and that was derived from 211 00:12:18,559 --> 00:12:25,000 Speaker 1: the French word virgin, which was derived from the Latin virgo, which, 212 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:28,200 Speaker 1: according to the New World Encyclopedia dot Com, was composed 213 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:32,040 Speaker 1: of their meaning man or husband. And y'all, my Latin 214 00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:33,959 Speaker 1: is not good, so don't get at me, because when 215 00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:35,680 Speaker 1: I was listening to it, it it just sounded like mumbles 216 00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:40,480 Speaker 1: uh and jenre meaning created for. And by the way, 217 00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:43,559 Speaker 1: apparently jenre already had kind of a double meaning on it, 218 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:47,920 Speaker 1: which meant a female innuptial subjection to a male. So 219 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:50,079 Speaker 1: when you put those words together, yes, as we said 220 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:53,360 Speaker 1: in the Merriam Webster definition, this is very heavily leaning 221 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:55,880 Speaker 1: and putting on top of women in general and female 222 00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:59,199 Speaker 1: in general, right, But that is only the English introduction, 223 00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:02,880 Speaker 1: and yes, yes, that is very sexist. But the value 224 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:06,400 Speaker 1: of virginity as a concept has existed for a while now. 225 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:10,440 Speaker 1: In the seventh century b C. We have the vestal virgins, 226 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:12,720 Speaker 1: which was a part of a Roman religion that kept 227 00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:16,320 Speaker 1: virgins as priestesses who tended the cult of Vesta or 228 00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:18,920 Speaker 1: the goddess of the Heart. They were chosen between the 229 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:21,560 Speaker 1: ages of six to ten by the chief priest and 230 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:24,120 Speaker 1: searched for thirty years. I was time. They had to 231 00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:27,360 Speaker 1: remain virgins throughout. If they did not follow the rules 232 00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:30,880 Speaker 1: and attend to their duties, they would be punished by beating, 233 00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:33,560 Speaker 1: and if they gave up their chastity that they would 234 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:37,600 Speaker 1: be buried alive because apparently you can't spill vestal blood, 235 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:44,800 Speaker 1: which being buried alives that sounds so suitable. Um. But 236 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:48,120 Speaker 1: if they followed the rules, they lived a pretty privileged life, 237 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:50,680 Speaker 1: more so than any other women who may have been 238 00:13:50,679 --> 00:13:53,720 Speaker 1: married or even single. They were able to have and 239 00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:56,120 Speaker 1: handle their own property, and they didn't have to follow 240 00:13:56,120 --> 00:14:00,800 Speaker 1: the rules of their fathers or men. I guess not 241 00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:03,679 Speaker 1: this priest guy aside, but right, well, there was a 242 00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:05,840 Speaker 1: chief Yeah, the chief priest was in charge of them alone. 243 00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:07,520 Speaker 1: But when they were released, they were a free to 244 00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:10,480 Speaker 1: do what they need wanted to do. Uh, including they 245 00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:12,400 Speaker 1: could get married if they want to, but they didn't 246 00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:15,640 Speaker 1: have to, which sounds okay to me. And of course 247 00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:19,240 Speaker 1: there are so many legends and myths of sacrificing virgins 248 00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:22,040 Speaker 1: to appease God's whether it's to calm storms, so they 249 00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:25,640 Speaker 1: would throw virgins to the sea to call that storm 250 00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:28,440 Speaker 1: and hoping that they could survive and go through their 251 00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:31,760 Speaker 1: passage or to avoid disasters. So you know, you've heard 252 00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:35,000 Speaker 1: the many times where virgins were cast into volcanoes or 253 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:38,840 Speaker 1: you know, sacrifice at places in order to get good harvest, 254 00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:41,360 Speaker 1: and that has been around for a while. There was 255 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:46,160 Speaker 1: another Uh religion where they went ahead and buried virgins 256 00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:50,560 Speaker 1: to protect their surroundings and their area and their community 257 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:54,800 Speaker 1: from disasters, so it was preemptive. There's that, and of 258 00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:57,680 Speaker 1: course we have also the biblical references such as the 259 00:14:57,720 --> 00:15:01,360 Speaker 1: miracle of the virgin birth Virgin Mary, who was idealized 260 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:06,320 Speaker 1: in a lot of ways, including being obviously Protestantism and 261 00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:10,960 Speaker 1: Catholicism both clinging to the Virgin Mary. But again we 262 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:13,640 Speaker 1: also have the whole like the virgin daughters as brize, 263 00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:17,320 Speaker 1: giving away the prize of it all, the offering of 264 00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:21,280 Speaker 1: the youngest the virgin to kings as gifts. We've seen 265 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:24,720 Speaker 1: that in biblical references and within that also is the 266 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:27,400 Speaker 1: horror versus the virgin, who is the godly and who 267 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:30,160 Speaker 1: is the unclean and how that goes. And we've we've 268 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:35,960 Speaker 1: seen that economy within biblical references. So let's keep exploring 269 00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:40,040 Speaker 1: this legend of virginity. Yes, but I do want to 270 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:43,320 Speaker 1: point out that when we were talking about this, Samantha 271 00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:45,280 Speaker 1: was like, yes the vision Mary, and I was like 272 00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:49,160 Speaker 1: ar Shami Skywalker from Star Wars. Yes, yes, I went 273 00:15:49,200 --> 00:16:09,920 Speaker 1: Biblical and she went Star Wars. So it's true. So 274 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:13,800 Speaker 1: the culture of virginity has had a lot of build up. 275 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:15,880 Speaker 1: When we talk about it today, there's a lot of 276 00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:19,720 Speaker 1: emphasis placed on who is valued. Like just going through 277 00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:22,640 Speaker 1: examples just then you can see that value placed on 278 00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:27,880 Speaker 1: people and what is their value. When talking about this 279 00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:30,720 Speaker 1: value of virginity, the majority of the time we are 280 00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:35,120 Speaker 1: linking this to women and linking it to women's values. 281 00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:38,320 Speaker 1: Female virginity is often tied to honor, not only within 282 00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:44,280 Speaker 1: the individual, but sometimes to family honor and family shame. Right, 283 00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:47,720 Speaker 1: And we're not getting too deep into the cultural references 284 00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:51,640 Speaker 1: because it is it is international when it comes to 285 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:55,520 Speaker 1: the concept of virginity, morality, purity, and the value of 286 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:59,280 Speaker 1: women based on that. But yeah, it is of note 287 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:03,200 Speaker 1: to know that it is shown differently, and whether it's 288 00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:07,199 Speaker 1: having autonomy with your body autonomy and being able to 289 00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:11,000 Speaker 1: choose your husband's are your family's future, or how you 290 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:13,040 Speaker 1: want to do that. So that's something I've note too, 291 00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:14,919 Speaker 1: But we're not really getting into that in this in 292 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:19,320 Speaker 1: this episode. Yes, but we are getting into purity culture, 293 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:22,639 Speaker 1: which is something that is often intermixed, are interchangeable with 294 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:26,399 Speaker 1: this whole idea of virginity and its value. Um. We 295 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:30,280 Speaker 1: are going to talk about that a bit more later. Yes, 296 00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:33,439 Speaker 1: when we talk about virginity, we usually are placing the 297 00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:36,440 Speaker 1: emphasis on women, but there is a similar parallel for men. 298 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:40,680 Speaker 1: Both are steeped with toxic masculinity. We recently talked about 299 00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:44,080 Speaker 1: this on a Happy Hour, though the results are different. 300 00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:47,399 Speaker 1: While we place a value in overall extreme opinion on women, 301 00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:51,120 Speaker 1: whether we call a virgin pure, are those who are 302 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:55,440 Speaker 1: no longer virgins horrors or sluts. Men are seen as 303 00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:59,040 Speaker 1: weak and not a man if they remain virgins. Um 304 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:01,879 Speaker 1: Men become the asis of the joke if their virgins 305 00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:07,160 Speaker 1: stuff like forty year old virgin um nerds, and that 306 00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:11,560 Speaker 1: toxicity also pushes into the idea of the more sex, 307 00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:17,439 Speaker 1: the bigger, the man or the more manly he is 308 00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:21,320 Speaker 1: as compared to women. For women, the bigger the slit, 309 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,360 Speaker 1: the more sex that she's had, which also goes into 310 00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:27,080 Speaker 1: the lines of this dangerous idea that men are sexual 311 00:18:27,119 --> 00:18:30,400 Speaker 1: and therefore not responsible for their actions thinking with their 312 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:34,480 Speaker 1: dicks for example. Again, this is a very dangerous line 313 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:38,120 Speaker 1: of thought that allows for men to not take responsibility 314 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:41,200 Speaker 1: for their actions and again lays that responsibility on women, 315 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:44,240 Speaker 1: whether it's the idea that women may be tempting a 316 00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:50,080 Speaker 1: man or owes them sex or both. Right, Yeah, and 317 00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:53,280 Speaker 1: it's a whole thing. We know that we've talked about 318 00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:56,480 Speaker 1: the level of toxicity rape culture and what that brings out, 319 00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:59,600 Speaker 1: And yeah, we can't deny that this purity culture, this 320 00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:02,879 Speaker 1: virgin in the culture, this absolute culture and basis and 321 00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:07,600 Speaker 1: ideology has lent uh evidence to why this is so 322 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:11,879 Speaker 1: toxic and has like amplified rape culture because of that, 323 00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:15,200 Speaker 1: And it's beyond dangerous and we should not we should 324 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:17,080 Speaker 1: always recognize that. I think that needs to be pointed 325 00:19:17,119 --> 00:19:19,320 Speaker 1: out every time we talk about it because it is 326 00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:23,280 Speaker 1: something that has put all women and I mean honestly, um, 327 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:27,800 Speaker 1: all people in danger. Yeah, and I think, like we're 328 00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:30,600 Speaker 1: talking about kind of extremes here. But I think also 329 00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:37,400 Speaker 1: it's it's frustrating because and this is very oversimplified generalization, 330 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:40,680 Speaker 1: but a lot of men that I know get angry 331 00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:44,200 Speaker 1: at women for being like cold or closed off of 332 00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:47,399 Speaker 1: playing hard to get whatever, because they have this idea 333 00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:51,120 Speaker 1: that they are either own sex or they need to 334 00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:56,240 Speaker 1: have sex so that they're manly. But women are being told, well, 335 00:19:56,520 --> 00:20:00,040 Speaker 1: you have sex, there's slat and there's your value, and 336 00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:02,920 Speaker 1: so it's like it doesn't even they're not compatible, they're 337 00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:06,399 Speaker 1: not so if if Again, it's such like a tricky 338 00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:09,080 Speaker 1: thing to define, because I do think for some women 339 00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:14,320 Speaker 1: maybe you would like to say, have more sex or 340 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:19,760 Speaker 1: um not play this game. It's hard to get, but 341 00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:22,560 Speaker 1: it doesn't feel safe or you feel like you will 342 00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:24,800 Speaker 1: be judged for it. So it's just really frustrating because 343 00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:27,360 Speaker 1: even on like a basic level, I feel like we're 344 00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:30,840 Speaker 1: coming from and the very heteronormative but like very different 345 00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:34,159 Speaker 1: scripts or ideas of what is going to impact does 346 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:36,440 Speaker 1: or make us look good or bad or write things 347 00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:40,919 Speaker 1: like that, right, and it's very dangerous. But before we 348 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,560 Speaker 1: actually come back to all that, because we are going 349 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:45,080 Speaker 1: to talk about this again, when we talk about purnity cultures, 350 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:48,640 Speaker 1: especially in Western civilization. We're going to talk a bit 351 00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:51,520 Speaker 1: about some of the old school thoughts. One of some 352 00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:54,919 Speaker 1: not to old school thoughts, but started old school and 353 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,600 Speaker 1: it still remains and it's kind of scary. But one 354 00:20:57,600 --> 00:21:02,440 Speaker 1: of the conversations that we've had all throughout history. Part 355 00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:06,359 Speaker 1: of the myths of virginity is the virgin cures. So 356 00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:09,800 Speaker 1: throughout history that continued to be a myth that traveled 357 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:13,200 Speaker 1: throughout the world, of the idea that virgins could actually 358 00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:17,000 Speaker 1: uh cure s c i s. The practice was first 359 00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:20,160 Speaker 1: noted in Europe in the sixteenth century, but gained prominence 360 00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:23,080 Speaker 1: in the nineteenth century Victorian England. And by the way, 361 00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:25,880 Speaker 1: that's just again just noted, so it probably existed way 362 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:28,720 Speaker 1: before then, and we just don't know all of the 363 00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:31,199 Speaker 1: we don't have all of those records. But it was 364 00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:33,960 Speaker 1: also practiced in the US at the same time as 365 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,879 Speaker 1: it was being practiced in Victorian England, so it's not 366 00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:39,919 Speaker 1: that far off. Um Many believed by having sex with 367 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:41,840 Speaker 1: a virgin they could be cured of s c I 368 00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:46,680 Speaker 1: s like civilists and gonorrhea. Instead of realizing they're spreading it. Unfortunately, 369 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:51,040 Speaker 1: the continued mythology of this type of cure isn't just historical, 370 00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:53,679 Speaker 1: but was practiced within the last twenty years. It was 371 00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:55,720 Speaker 1: noted that in the early two thousands it was still 372 00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:58,840 Speaker 1: being practiced as a cure for aids according to units 373 00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:01,439 Speaker 1: of the culture, based to roles that prize in a 374 00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:04,359 Speaker 1: sense of ignorance in girls and promoted this idea that 375 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:07,600 Speaker 1: men are sexual beings and have only perpetuated this type 376 00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:10,040 Speaker 1: of myths that this is secure and all you need 377 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:13,199 Speaker 1: to do is find a virgin. And not surprisingly, this 378 00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:16,600 Speaker 1: practice caused a huge rise in sexual violence and the 379 00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:19,720 Speaker 1: continued rape of assault of young girls and even infants 380 00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:23,680 Speaker 1: in affected areas. There was a huge conversation about why 381 00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:27,480 Speaker 1: this was occurring um within the nineteenth century when it 382 00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:29,600 Speaker 1: was happening in England and in New York, they were 383 00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:34,440 Speaker 1: buying young children to get this practice, and it wasn't 384 00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:38,639 Speaker 1: discouraged until a little while later, even though yeah, it's horrifying, 385 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:41,520 Speaker 1: but again this kind of also is that conversation that 386 00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:43,199 Speaker 1: we don't really get into, and we really do need 387 00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:46,120 Speaker 1: to get to probably be a part three of this episode, honestly, 388 00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:49,840 Speaker 1: about what a value of a virgin is when it 389 00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:54,080 Speaker 1: comes to uh, marginalized communities and how little they're looked 390 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:57,440 Speaker 1: upon in general anyway. So that kind of whole ideology 391 00:22:57,480 --> 00:23:01,000 Speaker 1: that purity can only happen with white cis a heteronormative women, 392 00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:04,960 Speaker 1: just white women in general, and that everybody else was 393 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:08,240 Speaker 1: already impure because they're not right. So that's the whole other. 394 00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:10,400 Speaker 1: And then class has everything to do with that as well. 395 00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:13,920 Speaker 1: So there's that whole level conversation. But because of that, 396 00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:16,760 Speaker 1: in this type of gender based roles and this prize 397 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:20,119 Speaker 1: that this innocence can cure me, I can take that 398 00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:22,840 Speaker 1: upon myself, which we've seen that as other ways. When 399 00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:25,879 Speaker 1: we were talking about possible serial killer who bathed in 400 00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:29,720 Speaker 1: virgin's blood, there is that conversation that this is that 401 00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:35,640 Speaker 1: myth that has perpetuated really really dangerous and violent reactions. Yes, 402 00:23:36,119 --> 00:23:39,080 Speaker 1: and then there's virgin disease. There was a time when 403 00:23:39,119 --> 00:23:42,879 Speaker 1: apparently people believed that there was a specific disease that 404 00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:47,160 Speaker 1: could only infect virgins known as the disease of virgins 405 00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:50,639 Speaker 1: in the sixteenth centuries. Particular disease, which had vague symptoms 406 00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:55,040 Speaker 1: of quote, feeling faint, breathlessness, odd eating habits, were all 407 00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:57,159 Speaker 1: attributed to the idea that they were infected because the 408 00:23:57,160 --> 00:24:01,840 Speaker 1: blood within a person's body couldn't the body and the 409 00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:06,520 Speaker 1: cure blood letting, which is a go to at that time, 410 00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:12,959 Speaker 1: but the better and more permanent solution was having sex, 411 00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:17,840 Speaker 1: preferably married sex. According to the research at the time, 412 00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:20,159 Speaker 1: quote sex would open up the body and move the 413 00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:23,840 Speaker 1: retained blood around. And though by this time the idea 414 00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:26,359 Speaker 1: that the hymen could be a tell of whether a 415 00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:28,800 Speaker 1: woman was a virgin or not was dismissed. It was 416 00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:31,520 Speaker 1: said that a virgin having sex would allow for the 417 00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:35,480 Speaker 1: blood to go through quote internal mouths that would lead 418 00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:38,560 Speaker 1: the blood to go into the womb. And it seemed 419 00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:42,560 Speaker 1: some believed it wasn't necessarily that it was a disease 420 00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:44,919 Speaker 1: of virgins, but a disease for those who hadn't had 421 00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:48,280 Speaker 1: children yet or at least could get it again if 422 00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:51,359 Speaker 1: they didn't bear children at some point. Right. So this 423 00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:54,720 Speaker 1: whole disease thing was such a weird context, and it 424 00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:59,879 Speaker 1: became problematic because that meant when a girl started her periods, 425 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:03,280 Speaker 1: you try to get married immediately so as to not 426 00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:06,800 Speaker 1: have this disease. Uh. And everybody was like, oh wait, 427 00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:11,720 Speaker 1: Although of course looking back now, younger brides were more accepted, 428 00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:14,960 Speaker 1: but still kind of like wait, wait, maybe maybe we 429 00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:18,040 Speaker 1: should calm down. And then some other symptoms of the 430 00:25:18,119 --> 00:25:20,840 Speaker 1: disease of virgins, as they called it, included your skin 431 00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:25,840 Speaker 1: turning and an unattractive hue quote unquote perhaps greenish or 432 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:30,600 Speaker 1: very pale. And apparently the sickness was actually also called 433 00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:34,320 Speaker 1: green sickness because of that. But there's also a conversation 434 00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:36,159 Speaker 1: that it could have been called green sickness because at 435 00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:38,479 Speaker 1: that point in time, being green means that you were 436 00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:41,640 Speaker 1: a virgin as well, so you weren't quite right yet. 437 00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:46,520 Speaker 1: But yeah, it's it's a whole context. Uh And it 438 00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:50,000 Speaker 1: seems about the eighteenth century people would joke about this disease. 439 00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:52,080 Speaker 1: Uh So they kind of got to the point they're like, 440 00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:54,040 Speaker 1: this is of course, I have a feeling this is 441 00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:56,280 Speaker 1: like a tell tale, like the blue Balls tell tale 442 00:25:56,640 --> 00:26:00,000 Speaker 1: of today. But there was a ballad about this disease 443 00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:03,520 Speaker 1: called the Infilled Common, which talks about a lusty gallant 444 00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:06,439 Speaker 1: who helps it saves the poor virgin by helping to 445 00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:11,879 Speaker 1: quote ease her and fully please her. Wow. Yeah, so 446 00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:13,320 Speaker 1: I thought that was interesting and they needed to be 447 00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:19,960 Speaker 1: a part of our discussion. Yeah, virgin disease, okay, and 448 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:23,119 Speaker 1: then there is virgin testing. I bet a lot of 449 00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:25,760 Speaker 1: you have heard about this, with value of virginity impurity 450 00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:31,359 Speaker 1: being being placed as this like really high commodity. Virginity 451 00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:35,680 Speaker 1: testing is not a new thing, but it does still exist. 452 00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:40,720 Speaker 1: Um in n rapper t I went on a podcast 453 00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:43,520 Speaker 1: ragging about how he takes his teenage daughter to her 454 00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:47,760 Speaker 1: gynecological appointment every birthday to make sure she is still 455 00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:52,320 Speaker 1: a virgin. Obviously, that did not go over well for him, 456 00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:56,080 Speaker 1: and many were very vocal about their disgust and even 457 00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:59,200 Speaker 1: concerned for his daughter, who didn't make any comments at 458 00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:03,480 Speaker 1: the time, seemed to like up the messages that were 459 00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:06,320 Speaker 1: disapproving of his words and the ways he was treating 460 00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:10,399 Speaker 1: his daughter. And also on your birthday, right, so they 461 00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:13,560 Speaker 1: announce this after the fact that it was her eighteenth birthday, 462 00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:16,720 Speaker 1: which is even freaking worse. Yeah, I mean that feels 463 00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:19,280 Speaker 1: it feels like a fairy tale you you would read 464 00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:21,040 Speaker 1: when you're a kid, and then as you get in 465 00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:24,399 Speaker 1: an adult, you're like, this is messed up, right, right, 466 00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:27,600 Speaker 1: And of course since then there's been these allegations towards 467 00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:30,400 Speaker 1: him and his wife, who was I believe the Mother 468 00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:32,880 Speaker 1: of the eighteen you know all, I can't remember of 469 00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:36,240 Speaker 1: a lot of sexual misconduct on the on themselves, and 470 00:27:36,359 --> 00:27:41,520 Speaker 1: I'm like, uh, that's about right, Yeah, not surprising, and yeah, 471 00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:45,160 Speaker 1: this version testing, it's not uncommon. In fact, the UN 472 00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:48,080 Speaker 1: documented that at least twenty countries around the world were 473 00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:53,399 Speaker 1: still practicing virginity tests, including the US and nineteen right. So, 474 00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:56,240 Speaker 1: when Full of Project, a nonprofit that reports on global 475 00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:59,879 Speaker 1: issues impacting women, and Marie Claire, conducted an investigation in 476 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:03,080 Speaker 1: twenty nineteen, they found that several countries, including the US, 477 00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:06,600 Speaker 1: were still getting requests for virginity tests to be completed 478 00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:09,719 Speaker 1: on girls um. These tests included the two finger tests 479 00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:12,119 Speaker 1: that would examine the persons of vagina to see if 480 00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:15,159 Speaker 1: their hyman was still intact, and also instrumental with a 481 00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:19,000 Speaker 1: speculum to actually observe and test to make sure that 482 00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:21,679 Speaker 1: they still had an intact the many who spoke up 483 00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:25,639 Speaker 1: about these tests talked about how traumatic the overall experience was, 484 00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:28,080 Speaker 1: as well as how damaging it was for them later 485 00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:31,359 Speaker 1: on in life. One woman whose interviews stated she felt 486 00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:34,120 Speaker 1: it was raped by instrument and how she has been 487 00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:36,680 Speaker 1: in therapy working on how to cope with the effects 488 00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:39,800 Speaker 1: of the test, and her interview, she detailed her constant 489 00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:43,200 Speaker 1: fear of not being loved or being judged or abused 490 00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:45,360 Speaker 1: by the mother who forced her to have this test 491 00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:48,880 Speaker 1: after finding out that she had a unitary tract infection um, 492 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,320 Speaker 1: which made her mother suspect that she had lost her 493 00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:54,600 Speaker 1: virginity quote unquote, and though the doctor stated that she 494 00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:56,920 Speaker 1: was in fact still a virgin, she learned from then 495 00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:59,440 Speaker 1: on that her virginity was her purity, was her value, 496 00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:02,520 Speaker 1: and she stated it taught her to lie and keep 497 00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:05,800 Speaker 1: quiet even after being molested and later raped, because she 498 00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:08,360 Speaker 1: felt she was damaged and it was her faults as 499 00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:11,560 Speaker 1: she was no longer pure. So that overall trauma that 500 00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:15,200 Speaker 1: this woman experience just from going out through that test 501 00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:19,200 Speaker 1: was enough to shut her down. Yeah. Yeah, and she 502 00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:22,040 Speaker 1: is not the only one. There have been many anonymous 503 00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:25,560 Speaker 1: groups and social platforms that have been sought out by 504 00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:28,760 Speaker 1: a lot of women seeking support and for people to 505 00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:34,040 Speaker 1: share their experiences, and many of these stories included things 506 00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:38,040 Speaker 1: of our emotions of being terrified and ashamed and being 507 00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:43,680 Speaker 1: held down by parents while a male gynecologists violated them. Yeah, 508 00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:48,720 Speaker 1: sounds extremely traumatic and all of this needless suffering for 509 00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:52,320 Speaker 1: an ill conceived myth created in the fift by a man. 510 00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:54,840 Speaker 1: But the sad truth is all the research has shown 511 00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:58,200 Speaker 1: at these tests are not true indicators of whether a 512 00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:00,760 Speaker 1: person with a vagina is a virgin or not. And 513 00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:04,760 Speaker 1: as Dr Jennifer Gunther stated, anybody who perpetuates the idea 514 00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:07,440 Speaker 1: that virginity has anything biological to do with it is 515 00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:10,360 Speaker 1: incorrect and they should be told so. Virginity is a 516 00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:15,400 Speaker 1: patriarchal social construct, so keep medicine out of it. But yeah, 517 00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:18,600 Speaker 1: it's still present today. The w h O and the 518 00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:21,120 Speaker 1: u N have called for a banning of the practice, 519 00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:24,040 Speaker 1: and legislation has even been presented in California New York 520 00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:29,040 Speaker 1: to ban it. None of that has been successful. People 521 00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:32,880 Speaker 1: still are pushing for it, but no results yet. But yeah, 522 00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:36,840 Speaker 1: and and honestly, people are still requesting um test as 523 00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:39,480 Speaker 1: of it was factual, even though again and again and 524 00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:41,880 Speaker 1: again people are disproving that this is even a thing. 525 00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:46,120 Speaker 1: People are not listening, and you are putting young girls 526 00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:49,640 Speaker 1: through this horrible, horrible experience, it seems. Yeah, and that 527 00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:52,440 Speaker 1: reminds me of I believe I've told the story before. 528 00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:54,000 Speaker 1: The first time I went to the guy in coologists 529 00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:56,160 Speaker 1: and I was told I was pregnant. I was like nope, 530 00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:59,440 Speaker 1: and they're like yep uh, And apparently the tests had 531 00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:01,160 Speaker 1: come back stive. I had to take another test it 532 00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:04,600 Speaker 1: came back positive. But that fear of that moment of like, 533 00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:09,120 Speaker 1: because you believe right if a doctor is doing if medicine, 534 00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:15,680 Speaker 1: like you think, well then it's true or not, or 535 00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:20,080 Speaker 1: whatever result they arrive at is the correct. But it's 536 00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:23,840 Speaker 1: in my mind totally possible that someone who had never 537 00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:29,600 Speaker 1: had sex might for some reason. The doctor will be like, yes, 538 00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:32,640 Speaker 1: you have, and what can you do to prove them? 539 00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:35,160 Speaker 1: And it shouldn't even matter, like it's it's so upsetting 540 00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:39,480 Speaker 1: because it but for people who are getting this tests 541 00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:41,920 Speaker 1: are making others get this test and it does and 542 00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:44,960 Speaker 1: it's just frustrating that it could be wrong and what 543 00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:49,000 Speaker 1: can you do to prove otherwise. But as we saw 544 00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:52,280 Speaker 1: as a as as a woman who talked about what 545 00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:55,560 Speaker 1: she went with her mom, who was already abusive, this 546 00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:58,480 Speaker 1: is exactly the type of conversation that he's happening, Like, 547 00:31:58,520 --> 00:32:01,600 Speaker 1: you are not protecting that wild and typically they're supposed 548 00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:05,560 Speaker 1: to have some privacy to protect them from things like this. 549 00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:07,880 Speaker 1: And I remember specifically, I had a friend of mine 550 00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:12,800 Speaker 1: who had been raped and she went in and when 551 00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:15,440 Speaker 1: getting all these tests and I think she she's tested 552 00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:19,160 Speaker 1: positive for an STI and they told her and I 553 00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:20,600 Speaker 1: think she was, like, I want to say she was 554 00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:24,240 Speaker 1: pretty young, but she was fifteen six and her dad 555 00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:25,960 Speaker 1: was present with her and he started calling her a 556 00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:28,160 Speaker 1: slut and started screaming at her, and I think he 557 00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:30,720 Speaker 1: actually slapped her too. But things like that where it's 558 00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:33,760 Speaker 1: problematic and a trauma on top of a trauma. And 559 00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:36,000 Speaker 1: I've seen that with kids that I've worked with who 560 00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:38,640 Speaker 1: have been molested and then they're calling her a slut, 561 00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:42,360 Speaker 1: and I'm like, what what? Because again this whole level 562 00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:45,200 Speaker 1: of purity and disgust and blaming young girls for this, 563 00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:48,120 Speaker 1: and again this is that toxicity that we talked about 564 00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:52,000 Speaker 1: the beginning and why this this is so concerning, and 565 00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:56,680 Speaker 1: there's so many lies that people perpetuate in the sake 566 00:32:56,760 --> 00:33:14,040 Speaker 1: of purity and speaking of myths and needless myths of 567 00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:18,200 Speaker 1: virginity impurity. As I researched through all the different questions 568 00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:20,960 Speaker 1: and theories of why people tell you women who are virgins, 569 00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:24,160 Speaker 1: because I just could not understand, I fell into a 570 00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:27,440 Speaker 1: recent whole of one man asking why it scenes he 571 00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:30,520 Speaker 1: was only interested in women who are virgins and know, yeah, 572 00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:33,400 Speaker 1: let's go ahead and add the caveat here that they 573 00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:35,760 Speaker 1: are speaking about the head or normative definition of virgin 574 00:33:35,920 --> 00:33:40,080 Speaker 1: vaginal penetration from venis. So he's like untouched, but who knows, 575 00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:43,680 Speaker 1: because yeah, he seems like the the loophole kind of 576 00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:48,600 Speaker 1: guy uh, in which he adds a link to to legany. Yes, 577 00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:54,640 Speaker 1: And if you're curious what to legany is. The definition, 578 00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:59,080 Speaker 1: according to Marion Webster, is the supposed caring over of 579 00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:03,120 Speaker 1: the influence of a sire to the offspring of subsequent 580 00:34:03,320 --> 00:34:08,840 Speaker 1: matings of the damn m with other males. In other words, 581 00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:12,520 Speaker 1: the sperms of past partners will affect the fetus and 582 00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:17,080 Speaker 1: inherit traits that are not of their biological father a 583 00:34:17,239 --> 00:34:23,040 Speaker 1: k A. Paternity can be shared by multiple partners. I 584 00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:27,239 Speaker 1: actually have heard of this now that I know, well, 585 00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:30,400 Speaker 1: that's everybody knows what it is without the actual word, 586 00:34:30,719 --> 00:34:35,520 Speaker 1: so the theory rather and the ideas behind it, And 587 00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:38,239 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, yeah, this kind of goes into 588 00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:41,440 Speaker 1: when we talk about the purity culture, the whole passing 589 00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:46,600 Speaker 1: around of the lollipop that you charge everyone's germs, right, 590 00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:50,360 Speaker 1: the same concept. Oh yeah, and it kind of reminds 591 00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:53,160 Speaker 1: me of oh gosh, it's a it's a theory of 592 00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:56,040 Speaker 1: like why monogamy happened at all, And that's one of 593 00:34:56,080 --> 00:35:03,240 Speaker 1: the theories is basically, like men, we're very paranoid that 594 00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:07,520 Speaker 1: they could be tricked into raising someone else's child, right, 595 00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:10,239 Speaker 1: and so they wanted it to be like you've only 596 00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:13,680 Speaker 1: been with me, therefore I know this is my child, um, 597 00:35:13,719 --> 00:35:18,040 Speaker 1: And that's a very big oversimplification, right, right, I remember 598 00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:22,400 Speaker 1: reading about that. So, yeah, this idea originated all the 599 00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:25,080 Speaker 1: way back with Aristotle, and it was a part of 600 00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:28,680 Speaker 1: Greek mythology and the reason for the half god Theseus, 601 00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:33,760 Speaker 1: who had a mortal father and an immortal father. And 602 00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:36,840 Speaker 1: though the theory was dismissed in the early twentieth century, 603 00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:39,919 Speaker 1: apparently is still floating around today as to why being 604 00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:42,560 Speaker 1: pure and virginal is so important for a man to 605 00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:45,560 Speaker 1: pick his chosen partner, Because, of course, yes, it's all 606 00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:49,880 Speaker 1: about them choosing the perfect vessel to sire their offspring 607 00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:53,800 Speaker 1: or offsprings. But yeah, obviously this is the most ridiculous 608 00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:56,080 Speaker 1: thing I've heard in a long time, because you would 609 00:35:56,080 --> 00:35:58,600 Speaker 1: think this would be common sense, but then you started 610 00:35:58,600 --> 00:36:01,840 Speaker 1: thinking about flat Earth's hue conspiracies and you're like, okay, 611 00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:06,880 Speaker 1: never mind, never mind. But of course that brings us 612 00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:10,719 Speaker 1: back to so how do we remain pure? Then? How 613 00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:13,879 Speaker 1: do we remain virginal? And if we if we made 614 00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:16,920 Speaker 1: a mistake, which you know happens, how do we come 615 00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:19,719 Speaker 1: back to that? How do we regain our purity? Um? 616 00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:22,560 Speaker 1: And it's not surprising that there's so many articles and 617 00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:25,240 Speaker 1: books that advise on how to remain here a virgin 618 00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:29,240 Speaker 1: or to be repurified revirginated of course, whether it's procedures 619 00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:33,080 Speaker 1: like cominoplasty, which is the cosmetic repair, restoration or reconstruction 620 00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:35,839 Speaker 1: of a hyman, which would also be referred to as 621 00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:38,600 Speaker 1: a re virginization, which you said. And by the way, yes, 622 00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:40,799 Speaker 1: this isn't a Sex in the City episode any This 623 00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:47,720 Speaker 1: is in the city because they talk about going back 624 00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:51,120 Speaker 1: and becoming a revergence. Charlotte is very concerned that part 625 00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:54,920 Speaker 1: of the reason that she's not married is because she 626 00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:57,759 Speaker 1: has given it away too many times, as they put it, 627 00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:01,640 Speaker 1: and so therefore that there are things that you can 628 00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:04,920 Speaker 1: become re virginized and for her that means just not 629 00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:07,919 Speaker 1: having sex skin. But of course they did talk about 630 00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:09,680 Speaker 1: it that there was an option for surgery as well, 631 00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:12,160 Speaker 1: because you know, they all talked about the options. They 632 00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:14,399 Speaker 1: didn't do it, they didn't do it, but they did 633 00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:16,799 Speaker 1: talk about it. And of course we have the legend 634 00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:20,640 Speaker 1: of chastity belts or now churches teaching how to remain 635 00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:23,080 Speaker 1: or asked to be pure. And there's quite a few 636 00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:25,600 Speaker 1: options in trying to live up to the myth of purity. 637 00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:27,920 Speaker 1: And yes, a lot of self help books, a lot 638 00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:30,520 Speaker 1: of prayer groups, UH, and a lot of and a 639 00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:35,440 Speaker 1: few surgeries. Hominoplasty or re virginization surgery is an option 640 00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:38,279 Speaker 1: that allows for women to resetitch a hymen. So the 641 00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:40,200 Speaker 1: procedure if you don't want to know about this, go 642 00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:43,879 Speaker 1: ahead and skip ten seconds in the procedure is UH 643 00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:47,560 Speaker 1: an outpatient procedure which is simply cutting away of any 644 00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:51,440 Speaker 1: torn skin on the edges quote edges of the hymen gently, 645 00:37:51,719 --> 00:37:55,759 Speaker 1: after which the remaining tissue is stitched together, leaving a 646 00:37:55,840 --> 00:38:00,080 Speaker 1: small opening. According to one health center that offers the 647 00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:03,360 Speaker 1: procedure here in Georgia, it takes approximately six weeks to 648 00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:06,560 Speaker 1: fully heal. Now I think but a long time to me. 649 00:38:06,719 --> 00:38:09,960 Speaker 1: But apparently like you could go back to work to 650 00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:12,800 Speaker 1: a couple of days afterwards, but you can't lift anything heavy, 651 00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:16,080 Speaker 1: you can't do anything strenuous. Um, I'm assuming you can't 652 00:38:16,080 --> 00:38:21,160 Speaker 1: have sex the entire time. But that is the actual procedure. 653 00:38:21,239 --> 00:38:24,160 Speaker 1: And that sound really painful to me, because any kind 654 00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:27,520 Speaker 1: of ecological appointment is really uncomfortable anyway. But I'm like, 655 00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:29,560 Speaker 1: oh my god, what are you doing. They do use 656 00:38:29,680 --> 00:38:32,799 Speaker 1: a numbing stuff on it, but they don't put you 657 00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:36,200 Speaker 1: under or anything. Yeah, and there are so many other 658 00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:40,520 Speaker 1: options for what is considered vaginal rejuvenation um. And we 659 00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:43,880 Speaker 1: could easily talk about those in another episode, including a 660 00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:47,319 Speaker 1: vaginal plastic and labia plastic, which we have we've talked 661 00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:49,960 Speaker 1: about briefly in other episodes. But yeah, we're not gonna 662 00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:53,560 Speaker 1: get in depths in this one. And of course there 663 00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:56,600 Speaker 1: are different reasons someone may want the surgery, but we 664 00:38:56,680 --> 00:39:00,160 Speaker 1: can't ignore the overall reason this is offered and how 665 00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:02,959 Speaker 1: some women feel they have no other options but going 666 00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:06,640 Speaker 1: down this fairly expensive road. There are different stories of 667 00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:08,239 Speaker 1: women talking about wanting to be able to give their 668 00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:11,480 Speaker 1: husbands or future husbands the security of thinking they are 669 00:39:11,560 --> 00:39:14,040 Speaker 1: the only sexual partners they have been with and that 670 00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:18,920 Speaker 1: they are still worthy of their love. There are also 671 00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:21,960 Speaker 1: some who went down this route out of fear or trauma. 672 00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:26,360 Speaker 1: Many of the sites advertising these services state that, in 673 00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:29,719 Speaker 1: the case of some rape victims quote, this surgical procedure 674 00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:34,879 Speaker 1: may help to feel empowered or feel mentally peaceful. And again, yeah, 675 00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:38,560 Speaker 1: not to reiterate, this is not scientifically proven at all, 676 00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:43,000 Speaker 1: and we couldn't find research to verify this assumption. But yeah, 677 00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:45,160 Speaker 1: I wanted to put out there that this mere myth 678 00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:49,400 Speaker 1: of the hymen and its correlation has an effect on 679 00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:54,120 Speaker 1: many industries as an effect on many and industries do 680 00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:56,000 Speaker 1: get this and they realize they can make money off 681 00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:58,960 Speaker 1: of it, so they want to be able to give 682 00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:02,440 Speaker 1: that auction out. Again, if that is something that happens 683 00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:06,120 Speaker 1: to help someone, then that's wonderful. There's nothing wrong in 684 00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:10,040 Speaker 1: doing what you need to recover from trauma. But again, 685 00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:12,520 Speaker 1: I really I couldn't when I was looking things up. 686 00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:16,080 Speaker 1: It was mainly about women in shame or women in 687 00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:20,200 Speaker 1: fear being rejected more so than doing it for themselves. 688 00:40:20,239 --> 00:40:26,359 Speaker 1: So yeah, like truly empowering, yeah, but again not our 689 00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:28,799 Speaker 1: choice to make people can do what they want, but 690 00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:33,560 Speaker 1: we're not going to sit here and say there aren't issues. Um. 691 00:40:33,719 --> 00:40:35,719 Speaker 1: And again, we're not going to talk too much about 692 00:40:35,719 --> 00:40:38,440 Speaker 1: it in this episode because I know any is preparing 693 00:40:38,880 --> 00:40:42,240 Speaker 1: an episode, so there's a Monday many. I believe items 694 00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:45,040 Speaker 1: like chastity belt has been a part of the myths 695 00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:48,839 Speaker 1: of purity as well, though it seems the origination may 696 00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:52,200 Speaker 1: have been a bad joke. Uh. The idea of an 697 00:40:52,239 --> 00:40:55,239 Speaker 1: iron clad that locked undergarment has been around since the 698 00:40:55,239 --> 00:40:57,840 Speaker 1: Middle Ages UM and in the Late Middle Ages, the 699 00:40:57,880 --> 00:41:01,000 Speaker 1: subject of chastity belt was a popular one for satirists, 700 00:41:01,040 --> 00:41:04,160 Speaker 1: including paintings of women wearing nothing but a castidy belt 701 00:41:04,239 --> 00:41:07,360 Speaker 1: bidding her husband a fair well while her lover he 702 00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:11,520 Speaker 1: is waiting in the corner with a key for him 703 00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:13,560 Speaker 1: to leave. So I thought that was kind of funny. 704 00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:16,319 Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, this is a huge joke. Yeah. 705 00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:19,480 Speaker 1: The actual creation may have come from the Gothic Revival. 706 00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:22,800 Speaker 1: It was most likely made for museums and curiosity shows 707 00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:27,319 Speaker 1: the tales of torture during the Dark Ages and most 708 00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:33,000 Speaker 1: likely around UM not for use but largely anecdotal or 709 00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:37,520 Speaker 1: in burlesque fiction. Yes, you'll learn more soon. Listeners and 710 00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:41,120 Speaker 1: speaking of learning more, it turns out that, yes, we 711 00:41:41,239 --> 00:41:44,520 Speaker 1: had a lot to say, and we still have a 712 00:41:44,560 --> 00:41:47,440 Speaker 1: lot more to say about virginity. But I think we're 713 00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:49,520 Speaker 1: gonna have to make it a two parter. I think 714 00:41:49,560 --> 00:41:53,319 Speaker 1: it right. We've been riding the roller coaster and here 715 00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:56,800 Speaker 1: we are. So this is the end of part one 716 00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:59,839 Speaker 1: on our look into virginity. In our next episode, we're 717 00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:04,040 Speaker 1: going to cover some Christian ideologies around it other things 718 00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:07,640 Speaker 1: like that, so you'll have to check it out to 719 00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:14,440 Speaker 1: learn more. Yes, it's like a sminty cliffhanger. In the meantime, 720 00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:16,880 Speaker 1: if you would like to get in contact with us, 721 00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:18,920 Speaker 1: you can, and we would love to hear from you. 722 00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:21,280 Speaker 1: Our email is stuff in Your mom Stuff at iharnt 723 00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:23,080 Speaker 1: mea dot com. You can find us on Twitter at 724 00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:25,319 Speaker 1: mom Stuff podcast or on Instagram at stuff I've Never 725 00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:27,760 Speaker 1: Told You thinks. It's always to our super producer Christina, 726 00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:31,000 Speaker 1: thank you and thanks to you for listening Stuff I 727 00:42:31,080 --> 00:42:32,799 Speaker 1: Never Told You, Protection of I Hire Radio for more 728 00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:34,480 Speaker 1: podcast from my Heart Radio is it the I Heart 729 00:42:34,520 --> 00:42:36,520 Speaker 1: Radio app? App, a podcast or wherever you listen to 730 00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:37,320 Speaker 1: favorite shows