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Speaker 1: Two hopeless daters one day app then dares you swipe right.

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Speaker 2: The question is whose love life is more tragic. It's

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Speaker 2: Battle of the Tinder Dates.

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Speaker 1: It's the dating game show that spices up his naughty

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Speaker 1: text by asking his mother what he should write.

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Speaker 3: Oh no, that'll love the.

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Speaker 1: Tinder Dates, where two of our listeners go head to

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Speaker 1: head to find out whose dating life is the most tragic.

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Speaker 1: Explaining the rules in just a second, but first let's

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Speaker 1: meet today's contestants. In this corner, he likes his makeout

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Speaker 1: sessions to be as dry as a desert tuck. That's

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Speaker 1: how he got the nickname Tumbleweed Real, the.

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Speaker 3: Terrible Tinder Date Caircler. He's coming in confidence. I know

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Speaker 3: I feel dusty just even talking to him.

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Speaker 1: And in the other corner, he embraced the dark side

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Speaker 1: and is always down to Netflix and Clone and that's

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Speaker 1: why the.

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Speaker 3: Ladies call him storm Trooper Cooper.

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Speaker 1: All right, all right, our contestants already, and here's how

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Speaker 1: the game works. One will start by telling one of

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Speaker 1: their worst date stories. The other will try and counter

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Speaker 1: with the nightmare story of their own. We're gonna go

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Speaker 1: back and forth for three rounds until we declare a winner,

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Speaker 1: starting it off with tumbleweed read Let's do It.

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Speaker 2: So I met a girl on Tinder and she is

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Speaker 2: really into working now, she tells me, and I am too.

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Speaker 2: So we go to the gym. Far date, very cool

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Speaker 2: until she tells me that I need to yell at

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Speaker 2: her in a foreign accent. She needs me to stream

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Speaker 2: motivation in German.

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Speaker 3: German specifically, I.

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Speaker 2: Mean it is angry sounding no matter what you say.

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Speaker 1: Totally you get like five more reps in if someone

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Speaker 1: telling at you that way and.

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Speaker 3: He keeps going. Were to do it for?

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Speaker 2: I tried, but after she kept telling me to get

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Speaker 2: louder and louder, I just couldn't handle the embarrassment. In

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Speaker 2: the middle of the gym, She's like.

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Speaker 3: Stormtrooper, Cooper, can you count her?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Man, this girl I was out with she invited

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Speaker 2: me to come through her house party after the date, right, Okay.

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Speaker 2: So we get there and everyone starts congratulating her, and

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Speaker 2: I'm asking, what are they congratulating you about?

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Speaker 3: Exactly?

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Speaker 2: She said, it's her divorce party and dining the papers

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Speaker 2: right there.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, but you know it's official, right, there's

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Speaker 3: no great area exactly.

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Speaker 2: She wants to make it an official before me. You know,

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Speaker 2: do the freakydiggy. Oh so you did? Wait what? I

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Speaker 2: didn't feel good about it, but I did.

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Speaker 3: It's not official until you see it that way. That

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Speaker 3: woman celebrate. How are okay? Oh god, read we're back

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Speaker 3: to you.

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Speaker 2: No, No, that sounds like a great date to me.

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Speaker 2: My date, on the other hand, he was incredibly honest

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Speaker 2: with me when we met up. She told me she's

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Speaker 2: got another situationship going on. Okay, that's good. Yeah here,

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Speaker 2: I'm cool with that. I'm thinking I'm gonna win out

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Speaker 2: in the end. Yeah. So we hang out a few

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Speaker 2: more weeks, and then she admits that the other person

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Speaker 2: is chat GPT.

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Speaker 1: Excuse me, I almost thought you said Chad.

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Speaker 3: What is she talking about.

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Speaker 2: She's telling me that they talk every night. They have

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Speaker 2: so much in common.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, oh god.

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Speaker 2: In the end, she has me write her a poem.

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Speaker 2: Chat GPT writes a better one. She breaks up with me.

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Speaker 3: Oh god, Ai is taking over everything. Cooper, you got

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Speaker 3: your work cut out for your here.

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Speaker 2: Oh man. I was with Ther's girl and we stopped

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Speaker 2: in this furniture store and she asked me to pretend

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Speaker 2: like we were like newlyweds, so.

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Speaker 1: That she can get this like wedding registry discount or whatever.

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Speaker 2: So I went along with it, okay, But what she

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Speaker 2: didn't tell me is that she was then going to

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Speaker 2: frame me for cheating on her.

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Speaker 3: And she pretended that she just found out right there.

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Speaker 2: In that moment. Discount or something. I don't know about that,

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Speaker 2: but she definitely got a sympathy discount because she was

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Speaker 2: in tears that she was putting on a great show.

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Speaker 3: Oh oh, oh my god.

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Speaker 1: At the furniture store, people are like, oh, I feel

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Speaker 1: so bad for you.

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Speaker 3: Here, yeah, any other twenty percent off that couch.

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Speaker 2: The worst thing is that she wait st me on

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Speaker 2: the way out.

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Speaker 3: Oh couldn't work, buddy. She has saved me a pretty

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Speaker 3: pig game.

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Speaker 1: All right, we're on to our third and final round here.

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Speaker 1: We need your best stories, gentlemen, So Tumbleweed read.

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Speaker 3: Give it to us.

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Speaker 2: So I meet the girl in a dating app. She's

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Speaker 2: twenty nine years old, says she really wants to plan

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Speaker 2: this first date, tells me to dress up real nice,

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Speaker 2: that we're gonna go somewhere fancy, and she's.

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Speaker 3: Saying, right, really cool, and she's paying.

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Speaker 2: And she's paying.

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Speaker 3: Whoa bro marry her before the date.

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Speaker 2: So I show up. She's in a full length, sparkly dress,

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Speaker 2: tells me she's super. She went to Limo for us. Oh,

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Speaker 2: and we're going to crash her old high school prom.

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Speaker 1: And what.

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Speaker 3: She's twenty nine?

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Speaker 2: No, not the reunion, this year's actual prom. Apparently she

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Speaker 2: never went and she's always wanted to go. They turn

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Speaker 2: us away at the door.

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Speaker 1: Yeah wait, you actually showed up. Yes, yes, he would

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Speaker 1: have been buying beer for so many underage Yeah, totally.

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Speaker 1: They would just think you guys were It was almost

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Speaker 1: a great date. So Cooper, this is your last chance.

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Speaker 3: That's wild.

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Speaker 1: That's this flung girl online.

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Speaker 2: And you know, she liked that I was fluent in French.

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Speaker 2: I'm fluent in French by the way. Oh yeah, but

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Speaker 2: when I show up to our date, she's there with

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Speaker 2: another guy and he's French too.

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Speaker 3: Wow, yeah, there you go. Is that what we're doing?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? So she she tells me that he just flew

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Speaker 2: over to meet her and hopefully I'd be cool with

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Speaker 2: being their translators. You're not even part of it.

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Speaker 3: That's a cheap way to get a translator. Yes, yes,

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Speaker 3: I translated everything wrong. Like she keeps saying, you're ugly,

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Speaker 3: bro I don't know what did you do?

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Speaker 1: She ended up paying me like fifty dollars for half

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Speaker 1: the hours you did it. Oh, yeah, I got money.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, they're always all right.

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Speaker 1: There's the final bell that means the matches over judges

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Speaker 1: when you need to score it, Alexis, who are you

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Speaker 1: giving it to?

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Speaker 3: I'm going to read for the prom I can't get

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Speaker 3: over you. Vote for Reid, Brooke. Yeah, another vote for

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Speaker 3: Reid for that problem?

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Speaker 1: Would that means congratulations? Tumbleweed read you are a sad

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Speaker 1: single of the week, and as a prize, Brook will

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Speaker 1: tell you one sexy gift that her husband gave her

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Speaker 1: one time.

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Speaker 2: You really I.

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Speaker 3: Can't wait hard to choose.

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Speaker 2: I got a dish soap container.

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Speaker 3: Oh feel free to steal that idea to get to

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Speaker 3: your next date.

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Speaker 2: Pleade. It was for dishwashing soap, not hand So.

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Speaker 3: Careful you're turning everybody on.

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Speaker 1: Brooke texting the seven eighty five ninety two If you

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Speaker 1: want up here on the next edition of Battle of

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Speaker 1: the Tender Dates, your phone TAP's coming up right after this.

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Speaker 2: Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning