1 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,120 Speaker 1: It's I Do Part two. I'm one of your celebrity mentors, 2 00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:21,000 Speaker 1: Jen Fessler from Real Housewives of New Jersey and the 3 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:24,720 Speaker 1: podcast I co host Two Jersey Jays, and this is 4 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:28,640 Speaker 1: very exciting. You all heard me probably tell my story 5 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,880 Speaker 1: of how my husband Jeff and I met, got married 6 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:34,080 Speaker 1: and then took a little marriage detour and then found 7 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:36,879 Speaker 1: our way back to each other. So today I am 8 00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:39,600 Speaker 1: bringing in my husband, Jeff, because we're going to chat 9 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:42,479 Speaker 1: a little bit more about the part two of it all. Hi, 10 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:45,200 Speaker 1: Jeff Fessler, Hello, how are you doing. 11 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:46,320 Speaker 2: I'm doing fine. 12 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:48,800 Speaker 1: So let me just tell our listeners that this is 13 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:55,560 Speaker 1: not necessarily your not venue of choice. No, no, So 14 00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:58,840 Speaker 1: to know us both is to know that Jeff Fesler 15 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:01,040 Speaker 1: is way more of an intro than I am. And 16 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:04,840 Speaker 1: would you say that that's true. 17 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:06,440 Speaker 2: Situations? 18 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:11,119 Speaker 1: Yeah, I said, really, yes, Well, I mean right, social situations, 19 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:15,840 Speaker 1: work situations. All of a sudden, my husband becomes chatty Cathy, 20 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:19,319 Speaker 1: which has served to annoy me. So yeah, this is 21 00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:22,720 Speaker 1: not really your thing, So thank you for joining me. 22 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:26,120 Speaker 1: I will tell you guys though, that being on TV 23 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:31,000 Speaker 1: and part of the Housewives of New Jersey, Jeff has 24 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:34,679 Speaker 1: enjoyed just as much, if not more than I have. 25 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:36,560 Speaker 1: No one really gets it, but right. 26 00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:38,640 Speaker 2: Well, yeah, it's a little bit different than what I 27 00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:41,319 Speaker 2: do on a daily basis. It is. It's very interesting. 28 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:41,720 Speaker 2: It is. 29 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:45,560 Speaker 1: Jeff's an attorney, right, right, So all right, just to 30 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:48,440 Speaker 1: kind of refresh you, guys, I'll tell you a little 31 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:53,960 Speaker 1: bit in case you haven't heard the story about our marriage, separation, reconciliation. 32 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:57,920 Speaker 1: Jeff jump in at any point if I get anything wrong, 33 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:02,040 Speaker 1: I will so. Uh, seven years into our marriage, which 34 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:05,800 Speaker 1: was so cliche, right, the seven year itch, we hit 35 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:10,680 Speaker 1: a rough patch, right, And I don't know, we were 36 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:14,120 Speaker 1: not communicating, right, We were kind of doing our own 37 00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:15,160 Speaker 1: trade young children. 38 00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:19,080 Speaker 2: Yes, I was working all the time. Yes, And I 39 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:23,079 Speaker 2: was with the two young children. Excuse me, you were 40 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:24,080 Speaker 2: with the two young children. 41 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:25,440 Speaker 1: Oh? I thought you said you were working with the 42 00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:26,280 Speaker 1: two young children. 43 00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:27,640 Speaker 2: Oh, you were with the twos. 44 00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:30,080 Speaker 1: I was definitely with the two young children. And I 45 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:35,080 Speaker 1: was kind of doing this cougar thing where and there 46 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:37,160 Speaker 1: were a lot of women who I was friends with 47 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:41,240 Speaker 1: in my town, and for whatever reason, like we were 48 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:44,720 Speaker 1: always going out on Thursday nights, right, getting decked out, 49 00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:49,000 Speaker 1: going out for I don't know, birthdays, but also just 50 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:53,320 Speaker 1: to go out and flirt. And I tell you all 51 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:58,720 Speaker 1: about because it's not to justify it. But there was. 52 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:04,000 Speaker 1: So there was some infidelity in our marriage. And it 53 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:06,079 Speaker 1: did actually which no one ever believes it did, start 54 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:06,880 Speaker 1: with Jeff Wessler. 55 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:07,760 Speaker 2: It did. 56 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:10,760 Speaker 1: It did, so I mean, I don't know, Well, let 57 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:12,519 Speaker 1: me tell you the story first and I'll tell you 58 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:16,320 Speaker 1: the sort of full picture. So that happened, and that 59 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:17,280 Speaker 1: definitely happened. 60 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:20,000 Speaker 2: So let's just leave it at that. That happened, and 61 00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:22,520 Speaker 2: that's it. Just keep moving on. That was not it. 62 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:28,080 Speaker 1: That was not it. So that happened, and that was 63 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:35,040 Speaker 1: obviously devastating. Sorry dude, but you know you play it. Yes, 64 00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:38,240 Speaker 1: for both of us. Yes, we stayed together for a 65 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:40,000 Speaker 1: little while after it happened. 66 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:42,920 Speaker 2: Now, yeah, that's that's that's. 67 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:48,200 Speaker 1: That was definitely rough. Yes it was. And then at 68 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:50,960 Speaker 1: some point I went to Florida with the kids, not 69 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:53,800 Speaker 1: at some point over the summer that year, for the summer, 70 00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:57,000 Speaker 1: and I went to go see my sister, my best friend. 71 00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:58,480 Speaker 1: I was like, I'm just going to stay for the summer, 72 00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:05,720 Speaker 1: got this, rented this little townhouse and put the kids 73 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:09,160 Speaker 1: in camp with some of their friends, and I just 74 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:15,119 Speaker 1: had myself a good old time. Yeah, I guess, yes, 75 00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:19,120 Speaker 1: you weren't there, and I whooped it up and ended 76 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:27,240 Speaker 1: up meeting this guy, nice guy and started something. And 77 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:30,320 Speaker 1: basically Jeff came to visit that summer and I said, listen, 78 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:36,320 Speaker 1: it's over. We no, yes, remember we went to Disney 79 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:37,800 Speaker 1: which with the kids Disney and I. 80 00:04:37,839 --> 00:04:41,560 Speaker 2: Was like, I think, yes, it was until December. 81 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:44,240 Speaker 1: I mean, we stayed together until December. But I remember 82 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:47,599 Speaker 1: that conversation because it was not an easy conversation anyway, 83 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:52,760 Speaker 1: So we were officially separated as of that December. Jeff 84 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:56,120 Speaker 1: moved into the city for March of I don't remember 85 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:58,800 Speaker 1: the dates. I actually think it's very sweet that you 86 00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:03,120 Speaker 1: remember the exact everything. So Jeff moved out, moved into 87 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:08,520 Speaker 1: the city, and my boyfriend moved from Florida to New Jersey. 88 00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:10,680 Speaker 1: Can I just say, by the way, there's a lot 89 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:16,320 Speaker 1: that went down that I regret, although you know, not 90 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:20,080 Speaker 1: necessarily believe in regrets, but I would do things very 91 00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:25,479 Speaker 1: differently today. But so, my boyfriend at the time moved 92 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:28,720 Speaker 1: to New Jersey and Jeff was in the city doing 93 00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:30,559 Speaker 1: his thing with his girlfriend and the kids were going 94 00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:36,240 Speaker 1: back and forth. And the truth is the entire time 95 00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:39,400 Speaker 1: that we were separated. It wasn't I guess what. 96 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:43,720 Speaker 2: Wait wait wait wait, you skipped. So I moved into 97 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:46,799 Speaker 2: the city and then was you know, I was working 98 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:49,320 Speaker 2: and doing whatever, and then I started going out and 99 00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:55,240 Speaker 2: then found somebody. It wasn't like, what's the difference. It 100 00:05:55,279 --> 00:05:57,559 Speaker 2: wasn't a person. It wasn't the person. 101 00:05:57,600 --> 00:06:00,640 Speaker 1: Oh no, oh god, right, No it wasn't. Yes, no, 102 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:04,120 Speaker 1: it definitely wasn't that person. That's a whole other crazy, 103 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:07,800 Speaker 1: that's a whole right. Yes, so, yes, exactly, that's true. 104 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:10,600 Speaker 1: But I will say that the whole time Jeff never 105 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:16,880 Speaker 1: wanted to get separated. No, and so you know, it wasn't. 106 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:18,560 Speaker 1: I don't think it was typical and that like you 107 00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:20,760 Speaker 1: look at the p K and or read of it. 108 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:25,159 Speaker 1: All right, well, yeah, you watched Beverly Hills and the 109 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:27,000 Speaker 1: way that they're starting to go after each other. We 110 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:27,760 Speaker 1: just never had that. 111 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:29,599 Speaker 2: Uh. 112 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:32,440 Speaker 1: We didn't really even get into the money, right. We 113 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,320 Speaker 1: just didn't like when we were like getting we were 114 00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:35,840 Speaker 1: going to get divorced, and it wasn't like this. 115 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:38,200 Speaker 2: Well I do remember one thing. 116 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:40,599 Speaker 1: Oh god, is we did you know what enough of you? 117 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:44,360 Speaker 2: On this point? We did go to a mediator, right, 118 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:47,680 Speaker 2: And it was the only time we went I think 119 00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:52,440 Speaker 2: no more than once I went to a mediator and 120 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:56,240 Speaker 2: then you were like, basically, well, this is what I 121 00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:59,360 Speaker 2: want this and then she said, well you have to 122 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:02,960 Speaker 2: leave something for him fifty fifty me. 123 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:07,760 Speaker 1: Wait what, Oh, that's true, that's true for him. I 124 00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:08,720 Speaker 1: hate that. You remember that? 125 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:10,320 Speaker 2: Yes, I blocked remember that. 126 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:12,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, so I guess apparently I was being very piggish 127 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:14,640 Speaker 1: about it. But you know, you're scared when you're in 128 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:18,400 Speaker 1: the middle of that. As you can imagine, it's very scary, 129 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:23,480 Speaker 1: very scary to not have worked for you know, seven years, 130 00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:27,280 Speaker 1: although I did work part time and not know, you know, 131 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:30,560 Speaker 1: how the future will pan out, and. 132 00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:35,640 Speaker 2: And other than gop ones, it's a great weight loss. 133 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:40,520 Speaker 1: Oh, Jeff, very very skinny, couldn't eat. Yeah, I remember 134 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:43,120 Speaker 1: feeling so badly about that, but you were actually happy 135 00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:46,760 Speaker 1: about that part. But we just like we never thought. 136 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:48,760 Speaker 1: I remember once, like the kids were in the car 137 00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:51,200 Speaker 1: and they called me to complain about him. I don't 138 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:52,920 Speaker 1: know where you guys were going, but Rachel called and 139 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:55,280 Speaker 1: she was like, Daddy's doing this or whatever, and I'm like, honey, 140 00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:58,000 Speaker 1: you got there. You do have the wrong number. You 141 00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:01,240 Speaker 1: think that you're going to complain about Jeff Bessler to 142 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:07,320 Speaker 1: me the world's greatest father. So you know, there was 143 00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:12,120 Speaker 1: never really this horrible animosity, even with the cheating and 144 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:13,560 Speaker 1: whatever else. 145 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:16,480 Speaker 2: Has gone down, there was something underlying there was we. 146 00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:20,680 Speaker 1: Were sad, Yes, we were just both so sad, and 147 00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:26,960 Speaker 1: so we would whatever talk on the phone, and I 148 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:29,600 Speaker 1: would tell my boyfriend at the time, like I'm going 149 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:34,520 Speaker 1: to mediation, and I would meet Jeff at Chili's and like, 150 00:08:34,559 --> 00:08:38,080 Speaker 1: I'm thinking, I'm cheating on my boyfriend with my husband 151 00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:41,600 Speaker 1: on the border. You're right, wasn't there one time, Childias 152 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:45,560 Speaker 1: when we met we saw Leon. No, it wasn't let's 153 00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:48,640 Speaker 1: not fight when we saw Leon at the time anyway, 154 00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:54,760 Speaker 1: doesn't Friday Okay, Yes, it was TGI Fridays anyway, So 155 00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:59,000 Speaker 1: you know, and the guy I was seeing was very 156 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:03,960 Speaker 1: invested in the relationship and we were serious, and you know, 157 00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:06,000 Speaker 1: he was very good to me, and Jeff and his 158 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:08,760 Speaker 1: girlfriend were maybe not that serious. I don't know, but 159 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,720 Speaker 1: it just wasn't right. Like I just didn't want to 160 00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:14,280 Speaker 1: ever pull the plug, and I knew that Jeff didn't, 161 00:09:14,559 --> 00:09:16,360 Speaker 1: and my entire family, by the way, I will tell 162 00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:19,040 Speaker 1: you this. They all sided with Jeff, which was totally 163 00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:21,520 Speaker 1: Jeff was never closer to my mother than during this time. 164 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:24,560 Speaker 2: No, no, no, yeah, absolutely. 165 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:29,640 Speaker 1: They all supported him. Everybody, everybody pretty much everywhere our friends. 166 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:31,040 Speaker 1: Why is that? Why do you think that was? 167 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:38,920 Speaker 2: I'm me or you? That's very likable. Oh I'm not 168 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:40,720 Speaker 2: at that point, Maybe you weren't. 169 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:43,800 Speaker 1: Okay, they all I think that they all also they 170 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:46,520 Speaker 1: I guess they knew how badly you wanted to get 171 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:49,840 Speaker 1: back together. So I would say long story short, but 172 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:52,840 Speaker 1: this is turning out to be long story long. We 173 00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:57,880 Speaker 1: are on a boat going to Martha's vineyard Nantucket. We 174 00:09:57,880 --> 00:10:00,120 Speaker 1: were meeting Jeanine. The kids were with her. Do you 175 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,760 Speaker 1: remember this. Yeah, we're on the ferry and I don't 176 00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:04,360 Speaker 1: know why we were together, because we weren't at that 177 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:07,200 Speaker 1: point back together. But you said something to me. You're like, 178 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:12,240 Speaker 1: I don't know, you don't understand what like what we're 179 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:18,440 Speaker 1: doing now is such something like is so such a shame? 180 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:20,880 Speaker 1: Shanda is a is a Jewish word for it. But 181 00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:24,520 Speaker 1: because our we can be so good and we can 182 00:10:24,559 --> 00:10:27,480 Speaker 1: have the best life. Yeah, and that just I don't know, 183 00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:31,720 Speaker 1: it resonated with me and so soon after that, I 184 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:33,440 Speaker 1: just got to the point where I was like, I 185 00:10:33,559 --> 00:10:35,640 Speaker 1: just want I just want my life back. 186 00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:38,720 Speaker 2: Well, it happened when we were the Jamaica. 187 00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:43,160 Speaker 1: Wow. I went on vacation with my boyfriend to Saint Bart's, 188 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:46,760 Speaker 1: the most glorious, you know, island in the world, and 189 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,960 Speaker 1: Jeff's with the kids to Jamaica, like beaches Jamaica, and 190 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:54,120 Speaker 1: I just wanted to be in Jamaica. Yeah, my husband 191 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:56,679 Speaker 1: and my kids. I feel bad about it, because again, 192 00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:59,600 Speaker 1: my boyfriend was a very nice guy, but it you know, 193 00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:04,920 Speaker 1: he's right now, so that's okay. Anyway, So we got 194 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:05,559 Speaker 1: back together. 195 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:14,720 Speaker 2: We did. We did summer two thousand and ten. 196 00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:16,400 Speaker 1: We were separated for how long, like you heard of 197 00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:22,160 Speaker 1: a year and a half? Yeah, yeah, so you know, 198 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:26,360 Speaker 1: things definitely have changed in our marriage. We got back 199 00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:28,240 Speaker 1: together and we immediately moved out of our house to 200 00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:30,520 Speaker 1: another house in the same town that we live in. 201 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:33,480 Speaker 1: We just wanted to kind of move on. The kids, 202 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:35,720 Speaker 1: I will say, we told them all their way at 203 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:40,120 Speaker 1: Sleepway Camp at visiting day and they were so happy. 204 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:42,720 Speaker 1: One thing I never predicted because I come from a 205 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:46,400 Speaker 1: family of lots and lots of divorce. So my parents 206 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,880 Speaker 1: have been divorced, not just from each other, but more 207 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:54,160 Speaker 1: than once. And so I don't know why I thought 208 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:56,280 Speaker 1: they got divorced when I was three, and I didn't 209 00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:59,680 Speaker 1: predict how I would feel in terms of the kids 210 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:03,560 Speaker 1: and their sadness, because for me, I guess I thought 211 00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:05,920 Speaker 1: I had just died. I don't maybe I just didn't remember. 212 00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:08,520 Speaker 1: But I don't remember ever being sad about it. It 213 00:12:08,559 --> 00:12:10,840 Speaker 1: was just my way of life, you know. And the 214 00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:12,880 Speaker 1: kids were so sad, and that was certainly that was 215 00:12:12,920 --> 00:12:16,160 Speaker 1: the hardest part watching them miss their dad, and it 216 00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:21,120 Speaker 1: broke my heart. And I'm sure anybody who's been divorced, 217 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:24,480 Speaker 1: you know, feels that, of course. But I remember telling 218 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:26,360 Speaker 1: them that we're getting back together on visiting day and 219 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:30,600 Speaker 1: promising them that it would never happen again. Right, I 220 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:35,640 Speaker 1: remember that, and then we left when they got home, right. 221 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:36,920 Speaker 1: I don't know if that was the best time. 222 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:37,880 Speaker 2: We do a best house. 223 00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:40,200 Speaker 1: They got home, Yes, they got home to a new house. 224 00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:42,000 Speaker 1: I don't know if that was the healthiest way to 225 00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:44,480 Speaker 1: handle it, but we did the best we could buy 226 00:12:44,559 --> 00:12:48,280 Speaker 1: a new house. No, just like, okay, we're getting back together, Okay, 227 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:51,880 Speaker 1: go back to soccer and theater and we'll see you 228 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:55,600 Speaker 1: in three weeks. Wow, it did work out, thankfully, it 229 00:12:55,640 --> 00:13:01,360 Speaker 1: did work out. So anyway, that was our journey. So 230 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:03,880 Speaker 1: but let's talk about it what it's like now. So 231 00:13:04,679 --> 00:13:08,439 Speaker 1: what would you say has been the biggest change. I mean, 232 00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:10,640 Speaker 1: we've been back together for quite some time, we've married 233 00:13:10,679 --> 00:13:12,440 Speaker 1: twenty five years. But what do you think is different 234 00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:14,120 Speaker 1: than those initial seven. 235 00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:19,280 Speaker 2: We definitely communicate better. And I said that the other day, 236 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:22,319 Speaker 2: but you laughed at me because, oh, come on. 237 00:13:22,559 --> 00:13:23,840 Speaker 1: I don't know if that's it. I don't know what 238 00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:25,440 Speaker 1: we can do. I mean, I don't even know if 239 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:28,360 Speaker 1: that means I don't remember the first seven years? Do 240 00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:29,880 Speaker 1: we not communicate? I mean I guess we were just 241 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:31,120 Speaker 1: so busy doing our own thing. 242 00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:37,400 Speaker 2: Yes it was working, I mean yes, I mean having 243 00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:39,840 Speaker 2: the kids in the house and young at that age, 244 00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:40,160 Speaker 2: but we. 245 00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:41,240 Speaker 1: Still had the kids in the house. 246 00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:43,160 Speaker 2: Not now. I don't know. 247 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:45,120 Speaker 1: I so you think it was communicating. I feel like 248 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:48,560 Speaker 1: it was just gratitude. The thing is, it was like 249 00:13:48,559 --> 00:13:49,719 Speaker 1: getting my best friend. 250 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:55,600 Speaker 2: Back, and it's yeah, it's like it's like I still 251 00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:56,320 Speaker 2: think about it. 252 00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:59,200 Speaker 1: You do, sure you'd never ever say that to me. 253 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:03,000 Speaker 1: It tooks podcast for you to say that's me think. 254 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:05,480 Speaker 2: About it and you're like, you're relieved that you haven't 255 00:14:05,559 --> 00:14:06,520 Speaker 2: then go through with that. 256 00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:09,520 Speaker 1: Well the time, that's a nice thing to say. I 257 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,960 Speaker 1: do think about it too, and I think that the 258 00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:13,920 Speaker 1: people that love us think about it because they're always 259 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:17,360 Speaker 1: you know, my aunt is always like, you made the 260 00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:18,480 Speaker 1: best choice. 261 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:20,080 Speaker 2: Ever through hell when you came out the others. 262 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:32,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, I know a lot of married couples we always 263 00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:34,800 Speaker 1: hear saying that you know, you have to date your 264 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:36,880 Speaker 1: spouse and there has to you have to put aside. 265 00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:39,160 Speaker 1: I guess some time, I don't know, once a week 266 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:41,040 Speaker 1: to go out on a date. And people always ask me, 267 00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:43,120 Speaker 1: like how we got back together and why is it different? 268 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:47,600 Speaker 1: And I mean I don't think that we do that 269 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:53,240 Speaker 1: what date, date night? No, I don't things that were there. No, 270 00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:54,840 Speaker 1: I mean we have like well. 271 00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:57,920 Speaker 2: Now Fridays and Saturdays maybe now we'll go out, but 272 00:14:58,080 --> 00:14:59,520 Speaker 2: during the week no, but. 273 00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:01,320 Speaker 1: It's not even but it's not like a plan data 274 00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:05,440 Speaker 1: and plus we're empty nesters, yes, so that's different. But 275 00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:07,280 Speaker 1: we never did that. We never had like an official 276 00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:11,400 Speaker 1: date night. And the truth is we if we felt 277 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:13,840 Speaker 1: like going out, the night's forced kind of you think 278 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:17,240 Speaker 1: people swear by it. I don't know. 279 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,920 Speaker 2: I mean we do it. 280 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:22,400 Speaker 1: No, I know what date night? Yeah me, yeah, well 281 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:26,800 Speaker 1: it was forced. Yeah, we're all connecting. I don't actually, 282 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:29,600 Speaker 1: I don't know. I never and the other pieces that 283 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:33,000 Speaker 1: like we would get we get to Saturday night and 284 00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:35,560 Speaker 1: half the time, and Jeff is like always excited to 285 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:37,840 Speaker 1: go out and be social because he doesn't get to 286 00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:39,760 Speaker 1: during the week and he's just work, work, work, and 287 00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:41,960 Speaker 1: I'm just all I want to do on Saturday night 288 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:44,080 Speaker 1: is sit on the couch, which is always what I 289 00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:46,400 Speaker 1: want to do every day, sit on the couch and 290 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:50,080 Speaker 1: watch a movie and lay in the bed. So that's okay. 291 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:53,520 Speaker 1: So I'm not, by the way, I'm not advocating for 292 00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:56,000 Speaker 1: any of this. We're just telling you what works for us. 293 00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:59,760 Speaker 1: So I don't know if you're thinking of a separation 294 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:05,000 Speaker 1: or you're in the middle of one. So, you know, 295 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:07,880 Speaker 1: half the time we make plans and then I feel guilty 296 00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:11,360 Speaker 1: because I just don't want to go out right, Yes. 297 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:14,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, we we'll make plans and then at like you know, 298 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:17,320 Speaker 2: four or five o'clock, like, yeah, I don't feel like going. 299 00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:19,280 Speaker 1: I know, and I do feel badly about that. There's 300 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:22,640 Speaker 1: that song though by is it Luke Hombs, Yes, Luke Combs. 301 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:23,640 Speaker 1: What is it called? 302 00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:26,360 Speaker 2: Beautiful? Beautiful crazy? 303 00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:29,000 Speaker 1: Yes, beautiful crazy. I think that it describes me perfectly, 304 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:30,320 Speaker 1: not the beautiful part. 305 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:31,880 Speaker 2: The Dutch, the coffee and the whole time. 306 00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:35,760 Speaker 1: Yes, coffee every morning, wine at night. Anyway, I digress. 307 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:37,800 Speaker 1: So I don't know that we do date night. But 308 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:42,440 Speaker 1: the thing is and also and so Jeff works from home, 309 00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:48,240 Speaker 1: maybe Fridays, maybe he's occasionally more than that. So during 310 00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:50,840 Speaker 1: the week he's up and like a robot every day 311 00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:53,320 Speaker 1: since the day I met him, five thirty. Boom up, 312 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,760 Speaker 1: take the shower, do the push ups, get dressed, go 313 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:58,640 Speaker 1: to work, comes home late, usually around what eight o'clock, 314 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:03,240 Speaker 1: comes up stairs, says Hi, goes back downstairs, back to 315 00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:07,640 Speaker 1: the office. So I'm always in bed. That's something else 316 00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:11,120 Speaker 1: but watching TV and eating or whatever it is I'm doing. 317 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:12,600 Speaker 1: So it's not like we're on top of each other 318 00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:14,960 Speaker 1: all week. Talk a couple times during the day on 319 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:18,440 Speaker 1: the phone. I don't know that that's good or bad. 320 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:22,119 Speaker 1: It's just us. It works, It just does, right. Yes, 321 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:24,880 Speaker 1: I don't know why it works, but we don't. We're 322 00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:26,400 Speaker 1: not on top of each other all week and even 323 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:30,680 Speaker 1: when you're home working, like we've we come out, we 324 00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:33,400 Speaker 1: see each other, back to the office, back to the bedroom. 325 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:38,440 Speaker 2: Maybe that separation works if we work together like all day. 326 00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:40,760 Speaker 1: If we were together, no, I kill you, right, that 327 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:43,360 Speaker 1: wouldn't work. Yeah, that would definitely. No, it wouldn't work. 328 00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:47,560 Speaker 1: We have fun during COVID, I think for stough that's 329 00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:50,440 Speaker 1: very true. Yes, yeah, I don't know. I mean that's 330 00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:53,280 Speaker 1: and then on the weekends we go out, we don't. 331 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,320 Speaker 1: I never feel like. One thing that I love about 332 00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:59,919 Speaker 1: you is that I never feel pressed to do anything, 333 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:05,400 Speaker 1: Like You're so easy. Growing up, I all I wanted 334 00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:08,320 Speaker 1: to do was like lay in the bed and read books. 335 00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:11,560 Speaker 1: And I remember my mom would get so frustrated with me, 336 00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:15,880 Speaker 1: and I always had this feeling that I was so lazy. 337 00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:18,879 Speaker 1: But you just don't seem to care. You never shave me. 338 00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:20,960 Speaker 1: I eat in the bed, you don't care. 339 00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:25,159 Speaker 2: I crumbs get on my side of the bed. I 340 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:27,080 Speaker 2: do care, you know. 341 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:30,240 Speaker 1: That's I don't know. We don't pressure each other. I 342 00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:33,440 Speaker 1: feel like we don't. It's very just kind of like accepting. 343 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:38,280 Speaker 1: And then when something happens during the day, so either 344 00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:41,480 Speaker 1: I'm rushing downstairs to the office, to tell you about it, 345 00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:44,120 Speaker 1: or you're rushing upstairs to tell me about it. It could 346 00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:45,840 Speaker 1: be anything. It could be something about the kids. It 347 00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:47,640 Speaker 1: could be something about work. It could be something about 348 00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:52,960 Speaker 1: the housewives. Now Jeff is like a reality show aficionado, 349 00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:58,200 Speaker 1: which is just weird. Okay, you one hundred percent stop it, 350 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:03,760 Speaker 1: just stop. Really anyway, a couple Okay, he like he's 351 00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:08,320 Speaker 1: into the Bachelor, he watches anymore. Anyway, We're not on 352 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:11,359 Speaker 1: top of each other, but we're always kind of connecting, 353 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:16,960 Speaker 1: checking in and we laugh a lot. Like we make 354 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:18,560 Speaker 1: fun of each other a lot. Jeff and I we 355 00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:21,639 Speaker 1: have this shtick where and people are always I don't know, 356 00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:23,880 Speaker 1: I think it's nice. People are like taken aback by it. 357 00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,800 Speaker 1: You know what I'm talking about? No, yes, you do. 358 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:31,800 Speaker 1: We give each other all the time. Let me give 359 00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:36,159 Speaker 1: each like what make fun of each other. Okay, simmer 360 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:41,800 Speaker 1: down like that, like I don't know, like people that 361 00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:45,520 Speaker 1: he walks in the room, I'm like, oh, hello, Jeffrey, 362 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,880 Speaker 1: and then he'll he just makes fun of me constantly. 363 00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:51,880 Speaker 1: He'll come up to the bedroom and he'll like tuck 364 00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:54,679 Speaker 1: me in, like like press it around there, just to 365 00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:56,480 Speaker 1: make fun. We make fun of each other a lot. 366 00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:57,399 Speaker 1: You know that we do. 367 00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:59,440 Speaker 2: Why you lie, that's what you're talking about. 368 00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:01,440 Speaker 1: Yes, well as opposed to what I don't know. I 369 00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:04,679 Speaker 1: don't say you're short and you do. 370 00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:05,400 Speaker 2: I do. 371 00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:10,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, my daughter is dating someone who is on he's 372 00:20:10,359 --> 00:20:13,119 Speaker 1: not short, like you're short on the shorter side. So 373 00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:15,240 Speaker 1: I'm constantly like a pant of Jeff being like, why 374 00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:19,680 Speaker 1: would you date a short guy? Like what, why aren't 375 00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:23,040 Speaker 1: you looking for someone tall and dashing? And I mean 376 00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:27,320 Speaker 1: except no, apparently not. Well he's very cute, yeah, her boyfriend, 377 00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:30,000 Speaker 1: but anyway, and he's not I don't God forbid, there listening. 378 00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:32,480 Speaker 1: He's not short. He's taller than Jack, but he's not tall. 379 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:35,240 Speaker 1: My one requirement when I was dating back in the day, 380 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:37,640 Speaker 1: uh maybe it was fixing me up on a blind date. 381 00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:42,520 Speaker 1: I would be like, he doesn't have to be extraordinarily well, well, 382 00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:44,399 Speaker 1: it doesn't to be wealthy, es to be ambitious. He 383 00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:47,560 Speaker 1: doesn't have to be the life of the party. He 384 00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:51,880 Speaker 1: just has to be tall. Well, here you go, miss 385 00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:58,600 Speaker 1: down all those my thought. You're very ambitious. Yes I am, okay, yes, 386 00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:02,440 Speaker 1: So I don't know. Do you think that the separation 387 00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:05,720 Speaker 1: saved our marriage? Like would you do it again? 388 00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:09,399 Speaker 2: Could I go through that again? Knowing what I know now? 389 00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:15,840 Speaker 1: No? But yeah it was hell? But do you think 390 00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:17,760 Speaker 1: we would be like like you said, you still think 391 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:19,520 Speaker 1: about it. I still think about it. There's so much 392 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:20,400 Speaker 1: gratitude for it. 393 00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:24,640 Speaker 2: Not I wouldn't say it's gratitude. I would say it's 394 00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:30,320 Speaker 2: it's it's it helped, it helped the relationship. I mean, 395 00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:36,680 Speaker 2: would it Maybe maybe this would have happened later Maybe 396 00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:40,119 Speaker 2: this would have happened later on and we wouldn't have 397 00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:41,520 Speaker 2: been able to go through with it. I don't know 398 00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:43,600 Speaker 2: what you're talking about. I don't know. I don't know that. 399 00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:46,760 Speaker 1: I am not. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone, and 400 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:48,960 Speaker 1: I wouldn't want to experience it again. 401 00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:50,080 Speaker 2: Said, would go through it again? 402 00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:50,200 Speaker 1: No? 403 00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:50,840 Speaker 2: No, I would. 404 00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:53,760 Speaker 1: I'm saying if it was a choice between going through 405 00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,920 Speaker 1: it or not going through it, because I think our 406 00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:59,840 Speaker 1: marriage wouldn't have changed, Like, we wouldn't have had this 407 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:01,280 Speaker 1: attitude necessarily. 408 00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:03,760 Speaker 2: That's correct, right, So. 409 00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:11,840 Speaker 1: We're grateful to have gone through it. Okay, anyway, moving Yes. 410 00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:13,199 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's I don't know about that. 411 00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:14,600 Speaker 1: I know you don't Sometimes I say to him, I 412 00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:17,399 Speaker 1: don't know how you get through your days. He can't 413 00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:22,000 Speaker 1: connect the dots. I can't except in work. I don't know. 414 00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:24,680 Speaker 1: I don't again. I wouldn't want to go through it again. 415 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:27,800 Speaker 1: But I think that it did change everything. And you, guys, 416 00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:32,560 Speaker 1: I don't know whoever's listening. They say that you get 417 00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:36,959 Speaker 1: divorced and not for everybody, but when nothing else matters, 418 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:40,720 Speaker 1: like you just can't. You don't care about the money. 419 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:42,760 Speaker 1: You know, you think to yourself, I don't want to 420 00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:44,800 Speaker 1: set this example for my kids. 421 00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:48,520 Speaker 2: Or you go into the marriage and you know it's 422 00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:52,440 Speaker 2: not going to work. Plenty of people have that happen. Say, well, 423 00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:54,159 Speaker 2: you go into a marriage and you know it's not 424 00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:54,760 Speaker 2: going to work. 425 00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:56,240 Speaker 1: Who goes into a marriage and knows it's not going 426 00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:58,040 Speaker 1: to Learney like who? I know? 427 00:22:58,119 --> 00:23:02,560 Speaker 2: Other people like who saying but I know it. 428 00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:05,119 Speaker 1: Happened well at our back at our So Jeff was 429 00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:08,960 Speaker 1: I was thirty one when we got married. Yeah, Jeff 430 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:12,800 Speaker 1: was thirty six, right, and so we were both dying 431 00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:16,520 Speaker 1: to get married. I was like my biological clock was ticking, 432 00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:18,360 Speaker 1: like I wanted to get knocked up before we walk 433 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:20,679 Speaker 1: down the aisle, just so I could trap him. I 434 00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:24,520 Speaker 1: didn't want to backen out right, right? We did. Four 435 00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:28,800 Speaker 1: months later we were pregnant, right right. But listen, I'm 436 00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:34,600 Speaker 1: not advocating for separation or divorce, but I think it's 437 00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:37,560 Speaker 1: not just for us, for the kids. I'm so grateful 438 00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:39,840 Speaker 1: that we found our way back. There's something to be 439 00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:44,480 Speaker 1: said for having being together for all of these years, 440 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:47,560 Speaker 1: especially I guess when it comes to the kids, right. 441 00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:50,920 Speaker 2: We had the Well, there's other right, there's other celebrity 442 00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:54,400 Speaker 2: couples who done the same thing that we got separated, 443 00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:55,520 Speaker 2: got separated and came back. 444 00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:57,960 Speaker 1: We're not just FYI, We're not really a celebrity couple, 445 00:23:58,000 --> 00:23:59,359 Speaker 1: as much as you like to tell yourself that. 446 00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:04,840 Speaker 2: Other celebrity there's there's other examples of this out there. 447 00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:10,160 Speaker 1: So, for instance, Ben Stiller and his wife, I love them, 448 00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:12,800 Speaker 1: right right, they separated and got back together. I mean, 449 00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:19,280 Speaker 1: I don't know the details of it. Who else as it? 450 00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:20,280 Speaker 2: J Lo and Ben? 451 00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:23,560 Speaker 1: Yes, but that's not a great example. Thank you, Heather. 452 00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:26,879 Speaker 1: I appreciate that, but we're not aspiring to that. 453 00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:28,960 Speaker 2: And I don't know. 454 00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:30,840 Speaker 1: I mean, it's not easy. I got tons of phone 455 00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:33,800 Speaker 1: calls from women in my town after we got back together, 456 00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:37,360 Speaker 1: and women that I did not know and saying Hi, 457 00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:41,720 Speaker 1: my name is Jane Doe. Your daughter was in preschool 458 00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:44,080 Speaker 1: with my daughter. I'm really sorry to bother you, but 459 00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:47,320 Speaker 1: do you think we can talk? I'm considering the divorce 460 00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:48,480 Speaker 1: or separation and. 461 00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:49,320 Speaker 2: You should write a book. 462 00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:54,800 Speaker 1: Well, maybe I'll do a podcast. Why do you write 463 00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:58,679 Speaker 1: a book? You write a book, You write a book. So, 464 00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:03,840 Speaker 1: I I think that divorce is brutal, and I think 465 00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:07,240 Speaker 1: if you think that there's a shot, there is really 466 00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:11,440 Speaker 1: something to be said or staying together and it's not perfect. 467 00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:14,760 Speaker 1: So let me just say that. People ask all the time, 468 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:17,920 Speaker 1: you know, what is it like? Now? Are you hanging 469 00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:19,119 Speaker 1: from the chandeliers? 470 00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:19,320 Speaker 2: Like? 471 00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:21,959 Speaker 1: You know? We didn't start, we didn't get back together, 472 00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:26,280 Speaker 1: and all of a sudden we're having sex three times 473 00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:30,639 Speaker 1: a day and jetting off to exotic locay. Oh, we 474 00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:33,359 Speaker 1: travel a lot together. Yes, that's one of our things. 475 00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:35,000 Speaker 2: We did jet off of Vietnam. 476 00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:37,800 Speaker 1: We did recently jet off to Vietnam for our twenty 477 00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:41,320 Speaker 1: fifth anniversary. I would highly recommend Vietnam any much anyway, 478 00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:44,280 Speaker 1: But I mean it didn't change like that. 479 00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:44,920 Speaker 2: I think that. 480 00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:48,439 Speaker 1: But I think if you can make it work and 481 00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:52,000 Speaker 1: think that there is still a chance, I would recommend it. 482 00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:55,840 Speaker 2: I mean yeah, but I mean there's people who should 483 00:25:55,920 --> 00:26:00,359 Speaker 2: be divorced, of course, and they know it. Yes, of 484 00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:02,440 Speaker 2: course you know this wouldn't work for them, But if 485 00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:04,800 Speaker 2: there's still a chance, there's still a possibility you should. 486 00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:08,840 Speaker 1: I have friends, I have friends who got divorced, and 487 00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:12,160 Speaker 1: I look at it and I think you were going 488 00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:16,639 Speaker 1: through very similar things that we were. And I do 489 00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:20,239 Speaker 1: think to myself that they probably regret it. 490 00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:23,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, they probably do, right, We admit. 491 00:26:23,119 --> 00:26:26,359 Speaker 1: It, and don't think that we're telling anyone what to do. 492 00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:30,399 Speaker 1: We're not experts on anything, but well Jeff is an 493 00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:34,240 Speaker 1: expert some things, so my more things than you. I 494 00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:37,280 Speaker 1: don't know that anyway, But we're not experts on this. 495 00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:40,720 Speaker 1: So again, I would just say, it's been. 496 00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:42,520 Speaker 2: My life. 497 00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:44,640 Speaker 1: I can't imagine my life if we had gotten divorced. 498 00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:50,880 Speaker 1: And I am so proud of us. I agree, yeah too, 499 00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:55,320 Speaker 1: that's nice and we have our stuff. That's like, it's 500 00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:59,159 Speaker 1: not like our relationship change so dramatically. I think we 501 00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:03,200 Speaker 1: got just grateful, like we were always best friends. 502 00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:07,600 Speaker 2: What it is, it's grateful for each other's. 503 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:10,640 Speaker 1: I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud that you're 504 00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:13,680 Speaker 1: my husband. I'm proud that we are have been together 505 00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:19,080 Speaker 1: this long. I respect you so much, like I don't. 506 00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:23,639 Speaker 1: I feel very lucky to have you for so many reasons. 507 00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:28,399 Speaker 1: And stop picking your nails. And that's not one of 508 00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:32,520 Speaker 1: the reasons, but I definitely think about that all the time. 509 00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:36,120 Speaker 1: And I'm proud of how smart you are. I'm proud 510 00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:39,720 Speaker 1: of how hard you work. I'm the most proud of 511 00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:42,080 Speaker 1: the kind of father you are. Okay, now it's your turn, 512 00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:42,919 Speaker 1: jump in. 513 00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:48,200 Speaker 2: We're not proud you've got this wonderful job with real houseworks. 514 00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:53,359 Speaker 2: You are you are and it's great podcast. And no, 515 00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:56,639 Speaker 2: I'm actually proud of your achievement, what you've done well. 516 00:27:56,680 --> 00:27:57,520 Speaker 2: I appreciate that. 517 00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:10,920 Speaker 1: Also, Like we're so used to each other, so when 518 00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:18,080 Speaker 1: we travel, for instance, we have the same rhythm, like, yeah. 519 00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:19,720 Speaker 2: We probably couldn't travel with other people. 520 00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:22,399 Speaker 1: Our friends travel and they travel in groups sometimes and 521 00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:25,159 Speaker 1: we've said no, okay he said no, more than I have. 522 00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:29,480 Speaker 1: But yeah, we travel. We have the same rhythm. Like 523 00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:31,760 Speaker 1: we know we both of us. We get up in 524 00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:33,960 Speaker 1: the morning. There's only a certain amount of sight seeing 525 00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:37,000 Speaker 1: that we do. We're very centered around our meals. It's 526 00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:39,400 Speaker 1: all about breakfast, lunch and dinner. Where are we eating them? 527 00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:40,960 Speaker 1: What's where? When? 528 00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:42,080 Speaker 2: Right? 529 00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:46,200 Speaker 1: Yes, I mean we sight see, but I don't like 530 00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:47,560 Speaker 1: to make me crazy. 531 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:51,640 Speaker 2: And everything out, everything out, and we hit those. 532 00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:54,960 Speaker 1: Spots and he has to push me sometimes like I'm like, okay, 533 00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:59,080 Speaker 1: I cannot do one more museum right or whatever, one 534 00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:01,000 Speaker 1: more landmark right? 535 00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:02,320 Speaker 2: And if you don't want to go, and then I'll 536 00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:04,280 Speaker 2: go by myself. Yes, and that's fine. 537 00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:05,800 Speaker 1: It's not always fine. 538 00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:07,960 Speaker 2: And then I'll come back and I'll tell you about 539 00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:09,880 Speaker 2: anybody like, oh, we're in Paris. 540 00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:12,560 Speaker 1: Then you wanted to go to what do you call it? 541 00:29:13,640 --> 00:29:14,480 Speaker 2: What Paris? 542 00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:17,000 Speaker 1: You wanted to go to? We were in Paris? 543 00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:18,960 Speaker 2: Oh Normandy, Normandy? 544 00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:21,760 Speaker 1: Sorry, and I was reading it. We're suposed get up 545 00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:24,800 Speaker 1: at five o'clock in the morning and go to Normandy. 546 00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:26,280 Speaker 1: It was the last thing I felt like doing. I'm 547 00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:26,840 Speaker 1: not really it was. 548 00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:31,400 Speaker 2: Yeah. We literally flew in, got there early in the 549 00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:35,440 Speaker 2: morning to Paris, fell asleep for the entire day, and 550 00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:41,040 Speaker 2: then that night couldn't sleep. Nope, and at five am 551 00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:42,080 Speaker 2: we really I forget it. 552 00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:44,479 Speaker 1: Yep, Well you were like forget it because I have 553 00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:46,280 Speaker 1: to say you were going to go I was going 554 00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:49,520 Speaker 1: to go. I would have complained the entire time, but 555 00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:51,320 Speaker 1: I was going to There's one time that we were 556 00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:54,160 Speaker 1: in Charleston, and we loved Charleston. We ended up buying 557 00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:56,680 Speaker 1: a house there that we unfortunately recently just sold. But anyway, 558 00:29:57,440 --> 00:30:01,600 Speaker 1: we're in Charleston and Jeff wanted to do a historical 559 00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:05,520 Speaker 1: tour of the city. And it was hot out and 560 00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:08,960 Speaker 1: we got a tour guide and for whatever reason, I 561 00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:12,440 Speaker 1: was getting mosquito bites and he was so into it, 562 00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:14,600 Speaker 1: and they were walking. Him and our tour guide were 563 00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:17,320 Speaker 1: walking ahead of me, and every time he turned around, 564 00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:19,120 Speaker 1: I like shot in the bird. 565 00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:20,840 Speaker 2: Every time. 566 00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:21,520 Speaker 1: Every time. 567 00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:24,840 Speaker 2: I was so furious. I was very angry, I know, 568 00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:27,640 Speaker 2: but it was very interesting for Jeff. So I don't care. 569 00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:31,160 Speaker 1: I know she didn't, yes, but like that's part of it. 570 00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:33,840 Speaker 1: He does laugh at me, we do. I mean we 571 00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:34,640 Speaker 1: laugh at each other. 572 00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:38,120 Speaker 2: Yes, we laugh at each other, especially when I trip 573 00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:38,640 Speaker 2: and you know. 574 00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:40,719 Speaker 1: When he falls, I die. 575 00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:41,240 Speaker 2: That's it. 576 00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:43,360 Speaker 1: There's nothing better than when he trips and falls. It 577 00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:45,400 Speaker 1: doesn't happen that often, but when it does, I love it. 578 00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:48,040 Speaker 2: Yeah. Soon I'll be like, you know, in like what 579 00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:51,040 Speaker 2: eighteen years, I'll be eighty. I'm a trip and fall 580 00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:55,080 Speaker 2: break my head and she'll be there laughing. It's good. 581 00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:56,600 Speaker 1: No, no, I won't Beau. Then I'll have to take 582 00:30:56,640 --> 00:31:00,200 Speaker 1: care of you. Also, this is interesting. I think like 583 00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:05,280 Speaker 1: Jeff's parents were together until they both are very very 584 00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:09,360 Speaker 1: unfortunately and sadly passed. But I don't think a man 585 00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:11,800 Speaker 1: ever loved a woman as much as Max Spessler loved 586 00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:17,880 Speaker 1: Philis Spessler. I mean, he was the best example of 587 00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:21,320 Speaker 1: a father and a husband. And there are certain things 588 00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:24,360 Speaker 1: that he always did that I with phyllis that I 589 00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:27,000 Speaker 1: my mother in law that I admired, like he always 590 00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:30,520 Speaker 1: always kissed her on the lips hello and goodbye, and 591 00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:34,680 Speaker 1: every morning with the my bad breath and the whole thing. 592 00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:38,600 Speaker 1: I kiss you goodbye every morning every morning. That's silly, 593 00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:40,320 Speaker 1: but like for some reason it's like a thing. He 594 00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:43,720 Speaker 1: always brings me coffee when he's home, when I'm home 595 00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:46,479 Speaker 1: and when we're wake this morning at the hotel, Like 596 00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:49,560 Speaker 1: it's just he goes and gets the coffee every time 597 00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:51,560 Speaker 1: and every morning that he's home, and we sit in bed, 598 00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:54,680 Speaker 1: especially on the weekends Sunday, we watch Saturday Night Live 599 00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:59,080 Speaker 1: and we watch the news Saturdays and Sundays, even Fridays, 600 00:31:59,120 --> 00:31:59,560 Speaker 1: you bring. 601 00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:01,160 Speaker 2: Me up the path because we can't watch it on 602 00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:05,440 Speaker 2: Saturday night because I'm sleeping. Well at five o'clock and 603 00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:08,120 Speaker 2: we're having plans, you cancel them. And then we went 604 00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:10,960 Speaker 2: up to bed and went to sleep and we missed everything. 605 00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:14,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, I sleep a lot, Yes, I can't help it. 606 00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:15,200 Speaker 2: You do sleep a lot. 607 00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:18,600 Speaker 1: I do, and he sleeps not at all. Yeah, what 608 00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:21,160 Speaker 1: do you think that you're gonna I'm gonna ask you 609 00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:23,200 Speaker 1: this question and you're just gonna give me an annoying answer. 610 00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:25,880 Speaker 1: But what do you think the what? What are the 611 00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:29,560 Speaker 1: keys to having a long lasting marriage. You're gonna say communication, 612 00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:30,360 Speaker 1: and I'm gonna. 613 00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:36,080 Speaker 2: Throw up a little. I don't know. I mean, do 614 00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:36,560 Speaker 2: we fight. 615 00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:38,840 Speaker 1: If we fight, we we don't make sure we're wake 616 00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:39,880 Speaker 1: up before we go to bed. 617 00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:42,720 Speaker 2: No, No, I don't care holding grudge all the time 618 00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:45,560 Speaker 2: all the time, yes, which I don't like. 619 00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:48,400 Speaker 1: Well, I don't know that I'm going to be able 620 00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:50,960 Speaker 1: to change that at fifty six years old. Now you 621 00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:52,680 Speaker 1: get upset, we go to sleep angry. 622 00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:55,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, but then I go to sleep and then you 623 00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:58,040 Speaker 2: wake up and you're like it did like nothing around, And. 624 00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:00,440 Speaker 1: I do apologizeologize. 625 00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:02,320 Speaker 2: It's not true. 626 00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:05,080 Speaker 1: You give me that face. Sometimes he does this thing 627 00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:06,200 Speaker 1: and the kids make fun of to her. 628 00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:11,280 Speaker 2: He's like believed that morning depends, and you're like, and 629 00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:12,960 Speaker 2: I'll remind you, oh yeah. 630 00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:17,200 Speaker 1: And sometimes well that's also when I'm drinking at night, 631 00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:19,000 Speaker 1: I've had too much wine and we get into a 632 00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:23,000 Speaker 1: fight and then I'm like, yeah, I was a bitch 633 00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:28,080 Speaker 1: last night, or alternatively, I am mad that's not true 634 00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:31,480 Speaker 1: in the morning if I But I do try to 635 00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:33,840 Speaker 1: take accountability, so do you. 636 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:35,400 Speaker 2: Mm hmm. 637 00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:40,240 Speaker 1: That's a key, except that it's never him saying Brick 638 00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:42,280 Speaker 1: and Jeffrey and everyone thinks he's a saint. 639 00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:43,120 Speaker 2: I am. 640 00:33:43,280 --> 00:33:45,640 Speaker 1: I have to say that's annoying. You are not a saint. 641 00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:48,440 Speaker 1: We have very different views when it comes to money. 642 00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:52,400 Speaker 1: I believe in spending it. He believes in not spending it. 643 00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:57,440 Speaker 1: And that's definitely been a challenge in our marriage, challenge. 644 00:33:57,680 --> 00:33:59,640 Speaker 1: It continues to be a challenge. The good news is, 645 00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:02,440 Speaker 1: I mean I always I worked. I worked as a recruiter. 646 00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:04,320 Speaker 1: Then I started a business, and I certainly didn't make 647 00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:07,280 Speaker 1: money off of f major but well now I sort 648 00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:10,399 Speaker 1: of am no, Okay, Well, anyway, I have the bus 649 00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:13,960 Speaker 1: sales doesn't Jeffrey, it's not a cut cover, okay, shot 650 00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:16,080 Speaker 1: f major dot com. That's there were just a lot 651 00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:22,040 Speaker 1: of costs. But you were very supportive. But yeah, it 652 00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:25,240 Speaker 1: always worked though. But yes, now I'm making some money 653 00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:29,680 Speaker 1: and so I feel no obligation to save a dime. 654 00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:34,640 Speaker 2: Right, all the glam, the dresses and all that. 655 00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:36,239 Speaker 1: But I'm like, what do you want from me? You 656 00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:36,880 Speaker 1: want me to do this. 657 00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:40,080 Speaker 2: I have to do it right, that's your excuse that 658 00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:42,520 Speaker 2: that's why you're doing it, because you get dresses every time, 659 00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:46,480 Speaker 2: Thank you, an outfit, thank you, thank you. It's like 660 00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:48,480 Speaker 2: there's there's rooms with clot with. 661 00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:49,800 Speaker 1: There is we have a couple of rooms. I have 662 00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:53,239 Speaker 1: of those things. Yeah, it's crazy, but I'm also I 663 00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:55,960 Speaker 1: can also spend on very stupid things. But jeff is 664 00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:57,719 Speaker 1: such a saver, so he balanced to their out. It 665 00:34:57,800 --> 00:34:59,560 Speaker 1: was up to me, I would have bankrupted us by now. 666 00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:04,279 Speaker 1: So we recently discussed on this potter. It's been not weak. 667 00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:07,120 Speaker 1: It's been recently discussed on this pot that there is 668 00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:10,160 Speaker 1: this topic of being sleep divorced, right, where like couples 669 00:35:10,160 --> 00:35:14,960 Speaker 1: who sleep in separate bedrooms have get along better, have 670 00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:15,840 Speaker 1: stronger marriages. 671 00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:19,120 Speaker 2: What do you think of that, maybe because it's separation. 672 00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:21,560 Speaker 2: Maybe because that's why I go to work. That's why 673 00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:22,640 Speaker 2: I'm at work all day. 674 00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:24,239 Speaker 1: You're not why you go to work. 675 00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:26,640 Speaker 2: No, it's not why I go to work, but because 676 00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:26,800 Speaker 2: of it. 677 00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:29,040 Speaker 1: But I'm talking about would you be interested in sleeping? 678 00:35:29,719 --> 00:35:31,560 Speaker 1: Would you be interested in sleeping in separate bedrooms? 679 00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:32,279 Speaker 2: Me? Neither. 680 00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:35,160 Speaker 1: I don't know. People love that, I mean, but we also, 681 00:35:35,320 --> 00:35:36,839 Speaker 1: I don't know. You stay on your side. I stay 682 00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:38,920 Speaker 1: on my side. I do sometimes in the middle of 683 00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:42,840 Speaker 1: the night, get worked up thinking that he might be dead, 684 00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:44,920 Speaker 1: and so I kick him sometimes hard. 685 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:49,319 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's something to wake up. That's that's make sure 686 00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:53,200 Speaker 2: he's breathing. Or like it's hard enough to go to 687 00:35:53,239 --> 00:35:55,640 Speaker 2: sleep than in the middle night to get sleep wake up. 688 00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:57,040 Speaker 2: It's like, okay, now I tried. 689 00:35:57,120 --> 00:35:59,719 Speaker 1: I tried to do it too hard, But yeah, I 690 00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:05,239 Speaker 1: get nervous or I tend to like be wake up 691 00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:08,280 Speaker 1: because I've just riddled with anxiety. So I could feasibly 692 00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:13,080 Speaker 1: wake up screaming at some point some nightmare that happens. Yes, 693 00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:15,319 Speaker 1: that happens, but I still wouldn't want to sleep in 694 00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:18,759 Speaker 1: a different room. Also, when he when you travel, I 695 00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:20,439 Speaker 1: hate when you travel and I have to sleep alone 696 00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:24,120 Speaker 1: at night. I don't know why, because you are a 697 00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:27,000 Speaker 1: very you're a strong man. But if somebody breaks in, 698 00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:30,440 Speaker 1: I don't see you being able to fight. I don't 699 00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:33,919 Speaker 1: want to insult you, but we have to castle, yes, 700 00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:36,839 Speaker 1: but like I can't. So I get so nervous when 701 00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:40,920 Speaker 1: you travel. I hate it. Okay, I don't like sleeping alone. 702 00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:44,320 Speaker 2: That's why. That's why there's an alarm whatever. 703 00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:49,520 Speaker 1: But so I don't know. You guys, this is you know, 704 00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:53,239 Speaker 1: this is our story. I I always get people that 705 00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:57,560 Speaker 1: are just love to hear it because maybe it's encouraging 706 00:36:57,880 --> 00:37:02,440 Speaker 1: and I think it's it's interesting. It doesn't happen every day. No, 707 00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:05,080 Speaker 1: I mean I do part two. This whole podcast is 708 00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:07,919 Speaker 1: about the second time around, and this is our sort 709 00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:10,400 Speaker 1: of our second time around. 710 00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:13,120 Speaker 2: The second time around. 711 00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:15,239 Speaker 1: It is a second break. There was a break, well 712 00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:19,000 Speaker 1: that's the second time around. Okay, I mean you know, but. 713 00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:21,359 Speaker 2: You did it differently the second time around. 714 00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:23,560 Speaker 1: We did maybe, Yeah, I think it's all it was 715 00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:24,319 Speaker 1: just gratitude. 716 00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:28,719 Speaker 2: Yes, it's gratitude for what you have and a realization 717 00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:29,680 Speaker 2: of what you have. Yes. 718 00:37:30,160 --> 00:37:32,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, man, we also again the best friend thing. I 719 00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:35,600 Speaker 1: think that's personally more than anything else, is that I 720 00:37:35,719 --> 00:37:39,280 Speaker 1: like you. I don't I love you, but I really 721 00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:42,520 Speaker 1: like you, and I don't like anybody else the way 722 00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:45,319 Speaker 1: I like you like. I am not my friend. I 723 00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:47,680 Speaker 1: have really close friends, so I can be my complete 724 00:37:47,719 --> 00:37:51,160 Speaker 1: self with but not in the same way we are. 725 00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:56,600 Speaker 1: We just I just enjoy you. Not always. Sometimes I 726 00:37:56,640 --> 00:37:59,600 Speaker 1: can't stand you, but for the most part. I mean 727 00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:00,960 Speaker 1: that's the heart that I think is the strongest. 728 00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:02,400 Speaker 2: I think that is the strongest. 729 00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:06,200 Speaker 1: Yes, anyway, you guys, that's us. That's all the time 730 00:38:06,239 --> 00:38:09,480 Speaker 1: we have. But this is us. We love each other 731 00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:10,080 Speaker 1: and we love you. 732 00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:10,400 Speaker 2: Guys. 733 00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:12,040 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening. 734 00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:12,600 Speaker 2: Thank you. 735 00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:14,960 Speaker 1: This is a big date night, first date night we've 736 00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:16,120 Speaker 1: had in well, you've. 737 00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:17,600 Speaker 2: Been to a workshows. I've never been to one. 738 00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:21,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'd never taken you before. No, you owe me big, right, Okay, 739 00:38:21,239 --> 00:38:22,000 Speaker 1: here's the date night. 740 00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:22,480 Speaker 2: All right? 741 00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:24,839 Speaker 1: So, are you thinking about getting back together with your 742 00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:27,800 Speaker 1: ex or reconciling after a separation and need some advice? 743 00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:31,520 Speaker 1: Call us or email us, follow us on socials. All 744 00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:33,960 Speaker 1: the information will be in the show notes. Make sure 745 00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:36,919 Speaker 1: to rate and review the podcast please, I do Part 746 00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:39,520 Speaker 1: two an iHeart podcast where falling in love is the 747 00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:40,280 Speaker 1: main objective.