1 00:00:01,080 --> 00:00:04,400 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need 2 00:00:04,440 --> 00:00:08,479 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more, please 3 00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:11,479 Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to your Strawberry Letter to Steve 4 00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:15,960 Speaker 1: HARVEYFM dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could 5 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:21,320 Speaker 1: be reading your letter live on here. It's like we're 6 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:24,440 Speaker 1: gonna read this one right here, right now. That's for you, Jake, 7 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:27,560 Speaker 1: could be yours. You never know, you never know. Buckle 8 00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:29,680 Speaker 1: up and hold on tight. We got it for you here. 9 00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:33,159 Speaker 1: It is Strawberry Letter. Thank you, f you. Subject He's 10 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:36,519 Speaker 1: got a weak mind and other things. Dear Stephen Shirley, 11 00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:38,920 Speaker 1: I've been with my man for about five years and 12 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:42,680 Speaker 1: he is a nice, kind hearted Christian man. We met 13 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:46,000 Speaker 1: at a work convention and he told me that he 14 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:48,960 Speaker 1: was divorced. This is all we have in common. It 15 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:51,519 Speaker 1: took me a few years to notice how he's clingy 16 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:54,400 Speaker 1: and soft. I hate to call a man weak, but 17 00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:57,000 Speaker 1: he has no backbone when it comes to putting someone 18 00:00:57,040 --> 00:01:01,000 Speaker 1: in their place, including me. He is at his mother's 19 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:03,560 Speaker 1: beck and call, and she gives him her grocery list 20 00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:06,559 Speaker 1: every two weeks for him to shop for her. It's 21 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:08,600 Speaker 1: okay for him to take care of his mother, but 22 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:11,600 Speaker 1: she is able body, and she goes to card games 23 00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:14,039 Speaker 1: and church so she can go to the grocery store. 24 00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:19,480 Speaker 1: Then there's our sex life. He's always whimpering and moaning softly, 25 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:22,520 Speaker 1: and it's a turn off. I know you're wondering how 26 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:25,040 Speaker 1: I stayed with him for so long, and it's because 27 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:28,280 Speaker 1: I just started noticing he's weak in bed. I had 28 00:01:28,319 --> 00:01:31,880 Speaker 1: an affair on him, and I got my back readjusted 29 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:35,479 Speaker 1: and my spine aligned in the first two minutes of sex. 30 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:39,479 Speaker 1: This was a manly man that talked nasty and did 31 00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:42,360 Speaker 1: all the things he said he was going to do. 32 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:50,320 Speaker 1: Now I'm at home, dazed and confused. Right I'm sorry 33 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:53,600 Speaker 1: you had a moment, sor Right now I'm at home 34 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:57,080 Speaker 1: dazed and confused, and I don't want my man to 35 00:01:57,080 --> 00:02:00,240 Speaker 1: touch me. I want badly to leave my boy friend 36 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:02,400 Speaker 1: and be with the new guy. But he stated up 37 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:05,640 Speaker 1: front that he was only in it for the sex. 38 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:08,240 Speaker 1: He knows I'm starting to fall for him, so he's 39 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:11,480 Speaker 1: been doing extra in the bedroom to get me hooked, 40 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:14,959 Speaker 1: and he jokes about it afterwards. I wish there was 41 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,600 Speaker 1: a way to teach my man all the things this 42 00:02:17,639 --> 00:02:20,680 Speaker 1: guy knows I asked him if he wants to watch porn, 43 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:24,239 Speaker 1: and he asked what has gotten into me? I almost 44 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:27,480 Speaker 1: told him what it was, but I held back. Now 45 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:29,760 Speaker 1: I can't sleep and I can't get the new guy 46 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:32,840 Speaker 1: out of my mind. Should I keep settling from mister 47 00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:36,160 Speaker 1: Week or just break up with him? How important is 48 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:39,320 Speaker 1: sex in a relationship? All right, we're gonna go back 49 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,520 Speaker 1: just a moment. First of all, what is wrong with 50 00:02:41,639 --> 00:02:44,280 Speaker 1: getting grocery for his mom? Every two weeks she gives 51 00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:46,200 Speaker 1: him the list, he goes to the grocery store, gets 52 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,520 Speaker 1: the stuff, and drops it off. I mean, he just 53 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:50,680 Speaker 1: sounds like a good son to me. But you're trying 54 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:53,040 Speaker 1: to make it out like he's a mama's boy or something. 55 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:56,760 Speaker 1: That's not the case here. It really isn't. And as 56 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:59,680 Speaker 1: far as how important sex is, I mean, it's not 57 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:03,519 Speaker 1: the most important thing, but it is definitely up there 58 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:06,320 Speaker 1: in the top three to five. Okay, whether it's important 59 00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:10,000 Speaker 1: to us or not is not the issue, though, because 60 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:14,920 Speaker 1: it's obviously very very very important to you, and so 61 00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:18,839 Speaker 1: much so that you've cheated on your man and are 62 00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:24,040 Speaker 1: considering leaving him for sex, leaving him for a man 63 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:27,080 Speaker 1: who told you out of his mouth that all he 64 00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:30,799 Speaker 1: wants from you was sex. He told you that upfront, okay, 65 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:34,280 Speaker 1: and now he jokes about it with you. So what 66 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:37,920 Speaker 1: are you willing to do for sex? Is risk everything? 67 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:40,680 Speaker 1: That's what you're willing to do. That's stupid. That is 68 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:44,640 Speaker 1: definitely not smart. And I do think you can gently 69 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:47,680 Speaker 1: teach a man what pleases you if you're both into it. 70 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:51,680 Speaker 1: That would not be settling, as you call it. It 71 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:56,080 Speaker 1: would simply be working on your relationship, as many committed 72 00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:59,960 Speaker 1: adults do every single day. But you're too busy thing 73 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:03,160 Speaker 1: thanking the grass is greener with this other guy, And that, 74 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:06,320 Speaker 1: to me, has disaster written all over it for you 75 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:09,560 Speaker 1: because he so much has told you he doesn't want you, 76 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:15,320 Speaker 1: and you're not gonna change him. You're not, Steve Well, 77 00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:21,400 Speaker 1: you've been with your man for about five years now. 78 00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:24,440 Speaker 1: Your subject is he's got a weak mind and other things. 79 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,680 Speaker 1: How this than lasted five years? You asked me that 80 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:30,159 Speaker 1: in the letter, But I really want to know how 81 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:34,920 Speaker 1: to hell this than lasted five years? He's nice, kind hearted, 82 00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:38,799 Speaker 1: Christian gentleman. We met at a word convention. For convention, 83 00:04:38,839 --> 00:04:41,839 Speaker 1: he told me he was divorced. That's all we have 84 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:46,200 Speaker 1: in common right there. This your fault. This your fault 85 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:48,960 Speaker 1: because he was a kind, nice Christian man. You know 86 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:52,360 Speaker 1: how many of them out there, but you wanted him. 87 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:56,240 Speaker 1: But that's all y'all head in common from day one. 88 00:04:57,080 --> 00:05:00,360 Speaker 1: That's no reason to start a relationship. It took me 89 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:03,320 Speaker 1: a few years to notice how he's clingy and soft. 90 00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:07,760 Speaker 1: I take a few years, but okay, I hate to 91 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:10,320 Speaker 1: call him man weak, but he ain't got no backbone 92 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:12,839 Speaker 1: when it comes to putting somebody in their place, including me. 93 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:18,800 Speaker 1: Women don't like that. Women do not like weak men. Okay, 94 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,160 Speaker 1: he's at his mother's beck and call, and she gives 95 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:24,839 Speaker 1: him a grocery list everythree wicks for him to shop 96 00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:26,599 Speaker 1: for her. It's okay for him to take care of 97 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:29,080 Speaker 1: his mother. But he's able body to she able body 98 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:30,920 Speaker 1: to go to card games and churchill, she can go 99 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:35,479 Speaker 1: to grocery store. This is a mama's boy. I don't 100 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:39,919 Speaker 1: care what Sharley told you. This a mama's boy. He's weak, 101 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:44,440 Speaker 1: he's soft, and he clingy, and he had his mama's 102 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:49,839 Speaker 1: becking call. This is a mama's boy. And how do 103 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:54,320 Speaker 1: you become weak and clingy and soft by hanging up 104 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:58,960 Speaker 1: under your mama. He never grew out of it, but 105 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:03,800 Speaker 1: you picked him because he was a nice, soft Christian man. 106 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:07,280 Speaker 1: Now that's what you got, little soft dude, know the Bible. 107 00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:12,480 Speaker 1: That's great. But then your next line is, then there's 108 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:16,200 Speaker 1: our sex life. He is swear the little scriptures and 109 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:20,120 Speaker 1: everything because you want something else to happen. And here 110 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:25,360 Speaker 1: and here he knows all the the scriptures. He knows psalms. 111 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:29,760 Speaker 1: He all up in the Book of Ruth, and nobody 112 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:36,520 Speaker 1: read the Book of Ruth in the words stop saying 113 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:39,120 Speaker 1: that Ruth. But he alled up in Ruth and read. 114 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:45,320 Speaker 1: All right, we'll have part two of Steve's Refunds coming 115 00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:48,719 Speaker 1: up at twenty three minutes after the our subject he's 116 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:51,279 Speaker 1: got a weak mind and other things. We'll get back 117 00:06:51,279 --> 00:06:56,560 Speaker 1: into it right after this. You're listening show, all right, 118 00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:59,640 Speaker 1: Come on, Steve, let's recap today Strawberry letter. The subject 119 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:03,400 Speaker 1: he's got a weak mind and other things. Yeah, this 120 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:05,880 Speaker 1: woman got this man, she say got a weak mind 121 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:09,200 Speaker 1: and other things. They've been together five years. The only 122 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:11,520 Speaker 1: thing they got in common, according to the letters, that 123 00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:15,120 Speaker 1: they've both been divorced. And that's all they got in common. 124 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:19,720 Speaker 1: Took us some years to Notice he's clinging soft but 125 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:22,400 Speaker 1: he's at his mama's back in call. He go get 126 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:25,320 Speaker 1: her groceries every two weeks. She's able body and everything, 127 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:28,920 Speaker 1: but he can't stand up to nobody, including her. He 128 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:33,560 Speaker 1: has no backbone. Based on this lady that wrote the letter. 129 00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:36,120 Speaker 1: And now we're dealing with a mama's boy. Then here 130 00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:41,600 Speaker 1: we go. Then there's our six. He's always whippering and 131 00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:46,800 Speaker 1: moaning softly, and it's a turn off. I know it is. 132 00:07:48,560 --> 00:08:05,680 Speaker 1: See I don't nobody wanted to do that is that's 133 00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:11,160 Speaker 1: whippering and moaning like when he used to fall off 134 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:16,080 Speaker 1: his bike. He's gonna lay on his mama's lap. See 135 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:19,520 Speaker 1: that's what she got. This what mama's boys do. They whippering, 136 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:24,520 Speaker 1: They moan, and he's weak in bad. Now here we go. 137 00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:28,760 Speaker 1: I hadn't to fawn on him. And in one affair, 138 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:32,560 Speaker 1: listen to what happened doing this affair. You ready for this, 139 00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:35,400 Speaker 1: because this boy wouldn't have been here weekend in moaning 140 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:39,839 Speaker 1: and whipper In one affair, she got her spine a 141 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:47,640 Speaker 1: line and her back readjusting all listened two minutes of six. 142 00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:54,839 Speaker 1: This boy right, he'll was laning it. Don't want This 143 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:58,960 Speaker 1: was a manly man that talked nasty and did all 144 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:02,000 Speaker 1: the things he said he was gonna do. See that's 145 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:04,680 Speaker 1: y'all asked me a long time ago, what is the 146 00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:07,440 Speaker 1: number one rule of manhood? And what did I tell y'all? 147 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:11,599 Speaker 1: It was, do what you say you're gonna do. Everybody 148 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:18,000 Speaker 1: will respect you. He told, huh, I'm gonna just your 149 00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:23,880 Speaker 1: damn back and re aligned your spine. And guess what 150 00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:27,000 Speaker 1: he did. He went right up in that and did 151 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:30,000 Speaker 1: just that. Because you weren't dealing with this little weekends boy, 152 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:34,240 Speaker 1: you got you was dealing with Tha, the god of 153 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:40,599 Speaker 1: thunder came up in there with a hammelf and was 154 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:45,040 Speaker 1: just up in that doing everything he said he was 155 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:52,080 Speaker 1: gonna do, aligning your back and adjusting your spine and 156 00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:57,400 Speaker 1: some other things too. I bet now I'm at home. 157 00:09:57,480 --> 00:10:01,520 Speaker 1: Days didn't confuse because your eyes is looking at each 158 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:04,480 Speaker 1: other now because you don't know what every time you 159 00:10:04,559 --> 00:10:08,360 Speaker 1: shut your eyes you think of him. Your eyes is 160 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:13,000 Speaker 1: looking at each other. And I'm confused. And now I 161 00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:15,080 Speaker 1: don't want my man to touch me. Now. You don't 162 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:25,600 Speaker 1: want a little weekend that was good, so good, just 163 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:32,040 Speaker 1: feels oh baby, that ain't what though, the god or wonder. Look, 164 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:37,199 Speaker 1: the thor, the god of love was in. Now we're 165 00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:48,559 Speaker 1: ham all crazy, ah, just opening up your nasal passages. 166 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:53,200 Speaker 1: So now I want badly to leave my boyfriend and 167 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:55,720 Speaker 1: be with this new guy. But he stated up front 168 00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:57,520 Speaker 1: he was only in it for the sex. Well, he 169 00:10:57,600 --> 00:10:59,440 Speaker 1: told you that ain't. Don't need leaving your man for 170 00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:02,240 Speaker 1: him because he don't want you like that. He knows 171 00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:04,120 Speaker 1: I'm starting to fall from him. So he's just been 172 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:06,120 Speaker 1: doing extra in the bedroom to get me hooked, and 173 00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:08,920 Speaker 1: he jokes about it afterwards. I wish that was a 174 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,640 Speaker 1: way to teach my man all the things this guy knows. Well, 175 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:13,240 Speaker 1: it's not. I can just tell you that right now, 176 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:17,400 Speaker 1: he's not. Don't even go in there and put this 177 00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:19,680 Speaker 1: pressure on. This is the last boy, because he's gonna 178 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:23,200 Speaker 1: be do none of this right here. He is who 179 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:27,280 Speaker 1: he is. You have weak men, and you have strong men. 180 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:31,280 Speaker 1: You have smart men, you have dumb men, you got 181 00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:35,040 Speaker 1: good men, you got bad men. You got a weak one. 182 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:36,839 Speaker 1: You said it, and you're not. He's not going to 183 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:39,040 Speaker 1: come up here and do this here. I asked him 184 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:40,920 Speaker 1: if he wants to watch pawn and he asked me, 185 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:43,600 Speaker 1: what's gotten into you. Well, I could have told him 186 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:50,200 Speaker 1: what they got into you? Thor thor fuck the god 187 00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:55,640 Speaker 1: all fund him. Fark got into you and adjusted boxing, 188 00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:59,679 Speaker 1: realign his spines and in that with his hammer, that's 189 00:11:59,679 --> 00:12:02,760 Speaker 1: what got into you. Now I can't sleep and I 190 00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:05,120 Speaker 1: can't get the new guy out of my mind. Should 191 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:07,679 Speaker 1: I keep settling for mister weak or just break up 192 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:10,400 Speaker 1: with it? How important is sex in the relationship? Well, 193 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:11,960 Speaker 1: I don't see how you're gonna stay with him because 194 00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:21,880 Speaker 1: your mind is my mind. My bod is here with you, 195 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:28,760 Speaker 1: but my mind is on the other side of time. 196 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:34,480 Speaker 1: Come home, Oh messing me around? See you can't keep 197 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:37,839 Speaker 1: your Your body's here with little wheat boarding, but your 198 00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:40,840 Speaker 1: mind is on thought of God a love thunder over 199 00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:44,480 Speaker 1: on the other side. Now you say, how important is 200 00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:48,520 Speaker 1: sex in the relationship? Well it's not number one because 201 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:51,680 Speaker 1: the most important thing in the relationship is love. But 202 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:57,440 Speaker 1: right after love dad sex, right after love dad sex. 203 00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:01,600 Speaker 1: All right, Thank you Steve. Your comments on Today's Strawberry 204 00:13:01,679 --> 00:13:04,760 Speaker 1: Letter at Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook, and 205 00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:07,720 Speaker 1: check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand now coming 206 00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:09,839 Speaker 1: up at forty six minutes after the hour. We'll talk 207 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:13,120 Speaker 1: about Christmas trees, the stories just for you. Steve talk 208 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:17,240 Speaker 1: about Christmas trees and some others talk to this. Yeah, 209 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:22,439 Speaker 1: oh yeah, get it. Now you're listening to the Stave 210 00:13:22,559 --> 00:13:23,559 Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show