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Speaker 1: Ruby. I am Alicia Bridges. I was diagnosed with crisis

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Speaker 1: at seven years old, and it took me a little

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Speaker 1: over two decades to find an effective treatment. I remember

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Speaker 1: when I was younger, I had very flaky, dry knees

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Speaker 1: and elbows, but we just thought that I had really

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Speaker 1: dry skin age. My entire body was covered with itchy, flaky, brown,

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Speaker 1: crusty patches of dry and flamed skin. It cracked, it bled,

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Speaker 1: It sometimes felt like my body was being attacked by ants.

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Speaker 1: And my grandmother took me to the doctor. They surveyed

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Speaker 1: my skin and determined that I had sarrice.

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Speaker 2: Alicia tried every treatment possible, topicals, oral medicines, even a

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Speaker 2: tar treatment, but nothing brought more than temporary relief. The

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Speaker 2: frustration began to take a toll.

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Speaker 1: I just remember being like, I'm going to have this

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Speaker 1: condition for the rest of my life and there's nothing

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Speaker 1: that I can do about it.

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Speaker 3: I stopped going to the doctor, I stopped.

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Speaker 1: Trying to find treatments, and I said in that for

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Speaker 1: about two years.

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Speaker 2: Even with the shame and discouragement, Alicia bravely shared her

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Speaker 2: story speaking at National Soiriasis Foundation events across the country.

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Speaker 2: It was at these events that she eventually connected with

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Speaker 2: doctor Wiseman, who would finally bring her the life changing

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Speaker 2: relief she had been searching for.

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Speaker 1: And so there was an event in Atlanta, Georgia, a

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Speaker 1: National Soriasis event, and I went, I can't even remember

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Speaker 1: what the event was about, but I do remember, meaning

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Speaker 1: doctor whyse. So we started having a conversation and she

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Speaker 1: was like, I can get you cleared up, and so

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Speaker 1: I set up an appointment with her.

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Speaker 3: She surveyed my skin.

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Speaker 1: Of course, She's like, you have a very severe case

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Speaker 1: of plexiasis, but I have this biologic and so she

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Speaker 1: gave me my first biologic and it cleared me up

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Speaker 1: about eighty percent. And let me tell you, I was

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Speaker 1: as happy as can be.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to House Calls. I'm Lauren Bray Pacheco. On these

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Speaker 2: special segments, we'll check in with friends from former Symptomatic

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Speaker 2: episodes for updates on their health and lives since we

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Speaker 2: last connected. Alicia, it is so good to speak with

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Speaker 2: you again.

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Speaker 3: It's nice to speak with you as well. It's been

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Speaker 3: a little while.

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Speaker 2: I can't believe it's almost been a year. November of

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Speaker 2: last year when we first connected. Yeah, and I have

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Speaker 2: to tell you your episode is one that many people

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Speaker 2: reference when they talk about the courage of someone coming

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Speaker 2: forward and being so honest and open about their struggles

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Speaker 2: with their health. Have you had any kind of reaction

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Speaker 2: of people who listen to the episode?

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Speaker 1: You know, I had some family check in with me

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Speaker 1: and kind of be like, Wow, I didn't know you

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Speaker 1: know what you were dealing with internally, So that was

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Speaker 1: nice to hear.

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Speaker 2: You talked a lot about how for you really finding

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Speaker 2: self acceptance was a big part of this puzzle piece,

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Speaker 2: and I love the fact that you came to that

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Speaker 2: realization before you even found what ended up being for

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Speaker 2: you the silver bullet. Why was that something that you

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Speaker 2: knew you had to heal before your skin even did.

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Speaker 1: Because I think that self esteem and confidence and self

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Speaker 1: worth are universal themes that you really have to own

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Speaker 1: in and focus on in your life outside of chronic illnesses.

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Speaker 1: It's just so imperative to have that love for you

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Speaker 1: in confidence for your self day to day, regardless if

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Speaker 1: I have psoriasis or not. Because if it's not poriasis,

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Speaker 1: then it's the pressures of social media. If it's not

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Speaker 1: the pressures of social media, then it's the pressures of beauty. Standards.

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Speaker 1: If it's not that, it's dating and expectations. So that's

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Speaker 1: why it was really important for me to get a

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Speaker 1: hold on that.

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Speaker 2: I think that there is something, particularly when you're dealing

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Speaker 2: with the chronic illness that has physical manifestations, you have

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Speaker 2: the insecurity constantly that you're going to be judged or

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Speaker 2: rejected because of your physicality, and when it's something that

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Speaker 2: you can't help and you're desperately trying to conceal, it

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Speaker 2: probably just feels like you're in fight and flight constantly.

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Speaker 2: Every social situation becomes an opportunity for rejection as opposed

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Speaker 2: to just an opportunity.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's interesting because in the last year I've been

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Speaker 1: reflecting on why I feel anxiety. Didn't even realize this,

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Speaker 1: but I think I have some social anxiety.

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Speaker 3: I do stand up comedy, which is kind of hard.

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Speaker 1: To have social anxiety when you're in stand up and oftentimes,

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Speaker 1: especially in the beginning, like I would be so afraid

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Speaker 1: to like get on stage, even like having successful shows.

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Speaker 1: And then as I evaluated that, I realized that it's

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Speaker 1: social anxiety. I realize that I have a real fear

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Speaker 1: of being judged, not only being judged, but being shamed

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Speaker 1: and being rejected, and then I did some further evaluation, like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: where does that come from? And I really think that

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Speaker 1: it comes from being tall all my life, like since

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Speaker 1: I was seven, always being tall, always standing out, and

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Speaker 1: having soariasis. It's like always this dark cloud of like

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Speaker 1: here is an opportunity for someone to reject you, to

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Speaker 1: shame you, Here's an opportunity where you might show up

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Speaker 1: and be perceived as not good enough. So that definitely

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Speaker 1: has been a challenge, and I often wonder how much

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Speaker 1: of the sooriasis is associated with how I view anxiety

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Speaker 1: and overwhelm.

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Speaker 2: Now it is so interesting to see the way in

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Speaker 2: which your disease, like your lack of ease within your

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Speaker 2: own skin, shaped not only your personality but gave you courage.

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Speaker 2: Stand up comedy is terrifying to most people. To put

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Speaker 2: yourself out there and to let people judge you in

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Speaker 2: that moment, with laughter or not. It's very interesting that

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Speaker 2: this is what you're drawn to. What was it about

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Speaker 2: stand up comedy that called to you.

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Speaker 1: I've always been like this fun, witty personality in general,

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Speaker 1: which again probably stems from having the risis, because you

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Speaker 1: have to connect in a way with people that have

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Speaker 1: nothing to do with your looks because you're afraid that

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Speaker 1: your looks won't be good enough. So I've learned to

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Speaker 1: kind of be caresmatic and to understand how to connect

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Speaker 1: with people in a meaningful, authentic, and deep way. I

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Speaker 1: went to see a friend years ago perform comedy, and

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Speaker 1: as everyone was coming across the stage, I was like,

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Speaker 1: I can do that.

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Speaker 3: I can definitely do that.

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Speaker 1: You know, I've done public speaking and people have told

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Speaker 1: me that I have this personality. So I just started

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Speaker 1: to do it and it challenged me and continues to

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Speaker 1: challenge me to confront not feeling good enough or fearing

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Speaker 1: that I'm not going to be perceived in the way

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Speaker 1: that I want to be perceived. And one thing about

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Speaker 1: comedy is like it's up and down, Like, for example,

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Speaker 1: I did a show the other day and the audience

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Speaker 1: was just not my demographic and it we're not feeling

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Speaker 1: my stuff.

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Speaker 3: And in that moment, you can perceive that as rejection.

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Speaker 1: Like it gets real awkward when you're up there giving

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Speaker 1: the best ten minutes of your life and people are

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Speaker 1: staring back at you like, uh, what is this?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, those ten minutes can feel like ten years.

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Speaker 1: Oh, my gosh, I'm telling you. But it's so funny

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Speaker 1: because five years ago that would have caused me to

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Speaker 1: like want to quit comedy. And when it happened, I

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Speaker 1: was just like, Okay, let's push through these feelings. This

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Speaker 1: is only ten minutes. This is not going to make

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Speaker 1: or break my career. The circumstances that this is an

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Speaker 1: older crowd that's really out of my demographic and if

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Speaker 1: I want to make them laugh, either I have to

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Speaker 1: come up with jokes that fit their lifestyle or I

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Speaker 1: need to stick to my demographic.

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Speaker 3: But that's the solution to it.

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Speaker 1: It's no reason to feel shame, it's no reason to

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Speaker 1: be embarrassed. It's just identifying what the circumstances are and

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Speaker 1: being okay with that, Like this is a part of

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Speaker 1: the process, and so it's really helping me to kind

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Speaker 1: of confront all perspectives of my life in that same way.

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Speaker 2: That's where the self love comes in as well, because

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Speaker 2: you don't place your value in terms of the acceptance

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Speaker 2: of others.

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Speaker 3: Yes, one thousand percent.

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Speaker 1: You said that in such a beautiful way, and it

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Speaker 1: just sparked a fire in me when you said that

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Speaker 1: is really about not putting your value in the hands

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Speaker 1: of other people, whether it's a comedy audience, whether it's

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Speaker 1: a man that I'm dating, whether it's a person at

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Speaker 1: the nail shop that doesn't understand psoriasis and they reject me,

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Speaker 1: whether it's not being chosen.

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Speaker 3: For I don't know, a modeling gig or whatever.

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Speaker 1: It's just understanding my value without it being contingent upon

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Speaker 1: what other people think of me.

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Speaker 2: And so, how are you doing today, because I believe

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Speaker 2: you said you started your last treatment in twenty twenty.

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Speaker 3: Is it still working.

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Speaker 1: It's still working. Well, it's working great. I'm one hundred

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Speaker 1: percent clear. The challenge now is that I recently lost

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Speaker 1: my job or quit my job, and now I'm worried

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Speaker 1: about insurance and ensuring that I can continue receiving my medicine. Luckily,

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Speaker 1: I only have to get the treatment every twelve weeks,

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Speaker 1: so that gives me some time to get a new

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Speaker 1: position so I can continue my medicine. But this is

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Speaker 1: just another example of like, even though the psoriasis is clear,

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Speaker 1: there's still always some challenges because of this disease. Because

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Speaker 1: now the challenge is finding insurance, ensuring that that insurance

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Speaker 1: covers my treatment, and just going through the whole process

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Speaker 1: again of a copay program and prior authorization, So it

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Speaker 1: just feels like there's always something even when things are

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Speaker 1: going good.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because there's maintenance involved. It's not as if it

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Speaker 2: was a one and done kind of deal.

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Speaker 3: Exactly.

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Speaker 2: Have you had the opportunity to pay that forward in

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Speaker 2: terms of your advocacy. Have you had the chance to

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Speaker 2: really see the comfort that sharing your story has brought

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Speaker 2: to other young people.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely.

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Speaker 1: People often write me on social media and let me know,

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Speaker 1: you know, oh, I saw an article, I heard you

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Speaker 1: on the podcast, and it really touched my spirit. I

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Speaker 1: also volunteer at Camp Discovery, which is a camp sponsor

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Speaker 1: by the AAD American Academy of Dermatology, and it's for

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Speaker 1: kids who are living with skin diseases. But it's such

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Speaker 1: a blessing to work with those kids from a place

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Speaker 1: that I know exactly what it is that they're going

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Speaker 1: through when they're out in the world trying to navigate

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Speaker 1: their skin conditions. So it's such a blessing to be

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Speaker 1: able to connect with them in such a meaningful, productive way.

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Speaker 3: So I am always.

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Speaker 1: Encountered by people in different situations as to how my

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Speaker 1: story has influenced and impact them to try to live

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Speaker 1: and overcome their condition.

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Speaker 2: And to bring them comfort and the reassurance that they

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Speaker 2: don't have to feel shame or blame themselves exactly. So, Alicia,

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Speaker 2: what is next on your list of things to tackle?

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Speaker 3: I'm always looking for a new adventure.

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Speaker 1: I recently bought a violin because it's something that I

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Speaker 1: did when I was like ten years old, but I

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Speaker 1: didn't get a chance to continue it. So that's one

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Speaker 1: way I'm currently trying to honor my inner child is

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Speaker 1: by teaching myself how to play the violin. I'm really

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Speaker 1: into plants. I've become a plant mom in the last

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Speaker 1: couple of years.

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Speaker 3: Actually wrote a book.

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Speaker 1: It's called Dig Deeper, a twenty one week guide to

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Speaker 1: self discovery through Plants. And in the book, I talk

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Speaker 1: about my journey with psoriasis as well as having parents

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Speaker 1: with substance abuse issues, and I talk about how I've

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Speaker 1: learned the process of growth through caring for my plants.

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Speaker 1: So like just doing more of that, connecting with people

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Speaker 1: and plant care and just finding new ways to challenge myself.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, that's what's going on with me right now.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I'm getting that book. I'm not joking.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to write it down because I'm a serial

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Speaker 2: plant killer unfortunately. Yes, Alicia, I just want to thank

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Speaker 2: you so much for taking the time to update us,

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Speaker 2: and I'm so happy that you're doing so well and

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Speaker 2: I cannot wait to follow what you next take on

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Speaker 2: in the years to come.

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Speaker 1: I really appreciate it, and thank you for having me

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Speaker 1: here today. This is great catching.

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Speaker 2: Up absolutely on next week's episode of Symptomatic, Mick Zaison

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Speaker 2: didn't think much of her severe acne and early onset

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Speaker 2: periods at first, assuming they would pass on their own,

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Speaker 2: but her symptoms quickly escalated to frequent UTIs, bladder pain

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Speaker 2: and bloody urination, upending her entire life.

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Speaker 4: All of my blood tests are perfectly fine, all my

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Speaker 4: CT scans are perfectly fine. And I was at a loss, like,

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Speaker 4: am I really just making this up? I'm looking down

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Speaker 4: in the toilet and I'm seeing red and no one's

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Speaker 4: helping me.

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Speaker 2: This has been house calls. Thanks for listening, and we

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Speaker 2: would love to hear from you too. You can email

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Speaker 2: us at Symptomatic at iHeartMedia dot com with thoughts about

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Speaker 2: other episodes or to share a medical mystery of your own.

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Speaker 2: Until next time, be well,