WEBVTT - David Sedaris: Me Write Funny One Day 0:00:02.440 --> 0:00:05.440 This is Alec Baldwin and you're listening to Here's the 0:00:05.519 --> 0:00:10.119 Thing from my Heart Radio. There's really only one way 0:00:10.280 --> 0:00:15.400 to introduce my guest today, and that's with this. Grew 0:00:15.480 --> 0:00:18.640 up in North Carolina and it's hard to get to 0:00:18.720 --> 0:00:21.919 attached to a beach house, knowing as you do that 0:00:22.000 --> 0:00:26.200 it's unborrowed time. If the hurricane doesn't come this autumn, 0:00:26.280 --> 0:00:29.640 it'll likely come the next. The one that claimed our 0:00:29.760 --> 0:00:39.960 place the C section in September was Florence. He was devastated. 0:00:40.479 --> 0:00:43.879 While my only thought was, what's with the old fashioned 0:00:44.000 --> 0:00:51.400 names Irma, Agnes, Bertha Floyd. They sound like finalists in 0:00:51.440 --> 0:01:00.320 a pinknuckle tournament. Isn't it time for hurricanes? Madison and Skyler? Yeah? 0:01:03.320 --> 0:01:11.520 Where's lit trees? Or Category four? For Dante? Florence, it 0:01:11.640 --> 0:01:14.479 was said, gave new meaning to the word namas day 0:01:14.840 --> 0:01:18.760 along the North Carolina coast? Are you going to evacuate 0:01:19.520 --> 0:01:29.040 n must Day? That is the unmistakable voice and writing 0:01:29.360 --> 0:01:33.560 of the one and only David Sedaris. Some humorists today 0:01:33.760 --> 0:01:38.039 simply assault the senses with expletives for a laugh, but 0:01:38.120 --> 0:01:41.959 David Sedaris is far too clever for that. He seduces 0:01:42.080 --> 0:01:46.600 the listener with a quiet, measured tone, sneakily delivering a 0:01:46.640 --> 0:01:51.280 wrye observation, or a serbic singer that belies an unmatched wit. 0:01:52.200 --> 0:01:56.920 His humor contains the best parts of two storytelling legends, 0:01:57.240 --> 0:02:01.760 the incisive social commentary of Dorothy Parker and Noel Coward. 0:02:02.200 --> 0:02:05.840 There is simply no one out there like him today. 0:02:06.040 --> 0:02:10.720 Sedaris is the author of numerous bestsellers, including Me, Talk 0:02:10.800 --> 0:02:14.720 Pretty One Day, and Holidays on Ice. His latest book, 0:02:14.720 --> 0:02:19.720 Happy Go Lucky, details his experience in lockdown during the pandemic, 0:02:20.080 --> 0:02:23.840 alongside chapters of coming to terms with his father's death. 0:02:24.480 --> 0:02:29.000 It's a hilarious and at times heartbreaking collection of essays 0:02:29.400 --> 0:02:35.560 that dive deep into Sadari's dysfunctional upbringing and it's continuing repercussions. 0:02:36.160 --> 0:02:39.200 I was curious to learn more about his childhood and 0:02:39.200 --> 0:02:43.079 the surroundings where he first grew up Western New York 0:02:43.120 --> 0:02:46.320 State and moved one of the second grade how How 0:02:46.320 --> 0:02:48.520 were were old? You are? At the age of second 0:02:48.560 --> 0:02:53.600 grade eight, moved to Raleigh, North Carolina. I spent nine 0:02:53.720 --> 0:02:58.679 out of ten summers in Figure eight Island off the 0:02:58.680 --> 0:03:01.799 coast of Rightsville Beach because my ex wife had made 0:03:01.800 --> 0:03:06.079 a film there, and I spent many summers in North 0:03:06.120 --> 0:03:09.400 Carolina and really good to love it. I mean we 0:03:09.440 --> 0:03:11.760 would go down there sometimes and have thanks getting down 0:03:11.760 --> 0:03:15.200 there and swim in the ocean in late November. Did 0:03:15.200 --> 0:03:19.360 you love North Carolina growing up there? No? No, I 0:03:19.400 --> 0:03:22.320 didn't want to be there at all. I wanted to 0:03:22.360 --> 0:03:26.840 be back in New York State. Why it just it 0:03:27.000 --> 0:03:30.280 just hickish to me. I don't know. It's just so 0:03:30.360 --> 0:03:32.560 convinced my life would have been so much better if 0:03:32.560 --> 0:03:34.440 we had never left. But the town we lived in 0:03:34.639 --> 0:03:38.680 western New York State, you know, I mean I didn't 0:03:38.720 --> 0:03:41.480 realize that at the time, but all the industry left. 0:03:41.920 --> 0:03:44.080 I mean Raleigh, where we moved. Every time you go 0:03:44.120 --> 0:03:46.720 to Raleigh, there are another million people living there, and 0:03:46.760 --> 0:03:49.320 it just like spilled milk, you know, it gets bigger 0:03:49.320 --> 0:03:53.200 and bigger and bigger. Binghamton, where we were living before, 0:03:53.240 --> 0:03:57.800 has actually gotten smaller. Population has decreased, you know, Like 0:03:57.880 --> 0:04:01.240 sometimes you meet people from West Texas and they're like, oh, 0:04:01.280 --> 0:04:04.120 it's so beautiful, and then you think, well, no one's not. 0:04:04.440 --> 0:04:07.680 But I think that where you grow up defines beauty 0:04:07.720 --> 0:04:10.240 in your mind. So to me, that part of western 0:04:10.280 --> 0:04:12.360 New York State. We're driving down the road and then 0:04:12.360 --> 0:04:15.080 you know those rock walls and that are kind of 0:04:15.080 --> 0:04:19.040 weeping always, and there are creeks on on rock beds. 0:04:19.560 --> 0:04:24.880 That's beauty to me. Your childhood, your father had a 0:04:24.880 --> 0:04:27.960 good job. He worked for I was at IBM, and 0:04:28.040 --> 0:04:31.640 you lived well, sure country club, but you guys with 0:04:31.800 --> 0:04:34.440 the girls would go up to remember you describing in 0:04:34.480 --> 0:04:36.720 the book, the girls would go up to the buffet, 0:04:36.839 --> 0:04:39.159 and you know, and there was life was comfortable well 0:04:39.320 --> 0:04:42.520 in the in the South, your life revolved around the 0:04:42.520 --> 0:04:45.440 country club. So when we moved to Raleigh, the Carolina 0:04:45.480 --> 0:04:49.120 Country Club was the country club, and they didn't allow Yankees, 0:04:50.080 --> 0:04:52.960 and they didn't allow Jews, and then they really didn't 0:04:52.960 --> 0:04:55.840 know and they also didn't allow Yankees. But the Carolina 0:04:55.920 --> 0:04:59.520 Country Club allowed Yankees, and then later Jews were welcome. 0:05:00.040 --> 0:05:01.960 And I wrote a story about that for the New Yorker, 0:05:02.000 --> 0:05:05.640 and they contacted the fact checkers contact the Caroline Country Club, 0:05:06.160 --> 0:05:07.920 and you know, they didn't want to come out and 0:05:07.960 --> 0:05:11.760 say that, and they were like, everyone was welcome at 0:05:11.800 --> 0:05:16.320 the Carolina Country clup. Really in everyone was welcome at 0:05:16.320 --> 0:05:18.680 the Carolina Country clubs. So I had to change it. Too, 0:05:19.680 --> 0:05:23.800 if I recall correctly. So when Billie Holiday showed up 0:05:23.800 --> 0:05:27.840 at the Caroline talking, they poured her and they poured 0:05:27.880 --> 0:05:31.760 her a cold one. Um. I don't want to say 0:05:31.800 --> 0:05:35.880 that this is what I read in your piece, but 0:05:36.000 --> 0:05:38.279 you can tell me. And I don't want to say 0:05:38.400 --> 0:05:40.880 that we have this in common, although the way we might, 0:05:41.920 --> 0:05:43.839 and that is I was always made to feel different 0:05:43.880 --> 0:05:47.120 in my family because I was the oldest son. My 0:05:47.240 --> 0:05:49.080 family mirrors you in terms of you have an older 0:05:49.120 --> 0:05:51.960 sister and then there's you. You're the second and you're 0:05:52.000 --> 0:05:55.640 the first boy. And in my family, my grandparents, my 0:05:55.680 --> 0:05:57.360 father's parents who lived in Brooklyn, who were like a 0:05:57.400 --> 0:05:59.720 forty five minute car ride away, we saw them constantly. 0:06:00.360 --> 0:06:02.880 We want to see them, like at least a couple 0:06:02.920 --> 0:06:05.520 of times a month and go hang out with them. 0:06:05.600 --> 0:06:09.040 And I was treated differently from everybody else. I was older, 0:06:09.120 --> 0:06:12.279 I was more adult identified. You know, the other kids 0:06:12.279 --> 0:06:15.360 are falling asleep on the couch. It's Sunday. We've watched 0:06:15.400 --> 0:06:19.000 that Sullivan, We've watched candid Camera. And my grandfather would 0:06:19.000 --> 0:06:21.080 point to my to me and look at my father 0:06:21.120 --> 0:06:24.359 and go let him stay. And my father was like 0:06:24.800 --> 0:06:27.400 Jesus Christ, and he'd carried the other kids down to 0:06:27.440 --> 0:06:29.880 the car with my mother put them they were passed out, 0:06:29.880 --> 0:06:31.479 and drive and have to come back and get me. 0:06:31.760 --> 0:06:34.760 I mean, and uh, I look at my grandfather, go Grandpa, 0:06:36.000 --> 0:06:38.159 like seven years old, like, why do you and I? 0:06:38.279 --> 0:06:41.920 Why were such pals? Why don't we get along so well? Grandpa? 0:06:42.440 --> 0:06:46.520 And he said, because we have a common enemy. And 0:06:46.560 --> 0:06:50.440 I was like, what you know? And I was just 0:06:50.520 --> 0:06:54.280 treated differently. Yeah, I mean, it was always hard for 0:06:54.320 --> 0:06:57.000 me to understand, you know, other people in my family. 0:06:57.120 --> 0:06:59.640 My brother, for instance, he was a great guy, but 0:06:59.680 --> 0:07:04.120 he ever had any desire to leave Raleigh. Terribly terribly funny, 0:07:04.200 --> 0:07:06.800 my brother. And when Amy was the Second City, we 0:07:06.880 --> 0:07:09.479 tried to lure Paul to Chicago to get him to 0:07:09.480 --> 0:07:11.920 go to Second City. He would have could have could 0:07:11.920 --> 0:07:15.440 have done anything, but he wasn't interested. Whatever you think. 0:07:16.240 --> 0:07:18.960 I don't know. From from early age, I just wanted 0:07:19.000 --> 0:07:20.760 to go. I just wanted to go, and I wanted 0:07:20.760 --> 0:07:25.040 to go everywhere I could and get as far away 0:07:25.080 --> 0:07:28.400 as possible from the house that I grew up in. 0:07:30.360 --> 0:07:32.280 What was the father who was the common enemy though? 0:07:32.360 --> 0:07:35.560 That my dad? Yeah, he met my son and your 0:07:35.600 --> 0:07:38.640 father we are something we both have concerned. I always 0:07:38.720 --> 0:07:42.640 love that with a grandparent, like co opts the child 0:07:42.680 --> 0:07:45.640 and tries to tin against my father. But but when 0:07:45.720 --> 0:07:49.720 you leave and you don't finished school and then you 0:07:49.760 --> 0:07:52.080 go to Chicago to get into the comedy world, you 0:07:52.160 --> 0:07:56.119 want to perform. Now. I went to school for a year, 0:07:56.280 --> 0:07:59.560 like I mean, like I don't know sees in high school. 0:08:01.400 --> 0:08:03.760 And then I went to college. Uh, And I went 0:08:03.840 --> 0:08:07.200 to Western Carolina University right in the mountains of North Carolina. 0:08:07.800 --> 0:08:10.760 And then I thought, wow, I gotta get out of here. 0:08:10.880 --> 0:08:12.720 And so I worked really hard and I made good 0:08:12.720 --> 0:08:15.640 grades and then I could transfer out of state, and 0:08:15.680 --> 0:08:18.160 so I chose Kent State. But I thought it was 0:08:18.200 --> 0:08:20.040 a good school. It was famous because it was a 0:08:20.040 --> 0:08:22.120 good school, but it was just famous because people have 0:08:22.240 --> 0:08:25.360 been killed there. So that I went to Kent State. 0:08:26.040 --> 0:08:29.240 And then I was like super anti drug in high 0:08:29.240 --> 0:08:34.080 school and then I just, uh was drug crazy when 0:08:34.120 --> 0:08:35.679 I was at Kent State. And then you know how 0:08:35.720 --> 0:08:38.080 that is you miss an Italian class and then you 0:08:38.120 --> 0:08:41.160 miss five Italian classes and then you're afraid to run 0:08:41.200 --> 0:08:44.880 into the teacher. And I was waking bake and then 0:08:44.920 --> 0:08:47.920 I just dropped out and then I dropped back in 0:08:47.960 --> 0:08:50.320 to school when I was twenty seven, and I went 0:08:50.400 --> 0:08:52.720 to the Art Institute. And it was mainly because I 0:08:52.760 --> 0:08:55.800 wanted to come to New York. But Chicago seemed like 0:08:55.800 --> 0:08:58.439 a good stepping stone, you know, like it is for 0:08:58.480 --> 0:09:01.040 many people. Yeah, and it still is, so it was 0:09:01.320 --> 0:09:03.200 it was a perfect place to go, really. So I 0:09:03.200 --> 0:09:05.760 went to art school and then I took some writing 0:09:05.800 --> 0:09:08.200 classes while I was there. I'd been writing already, and 0:09:08.240 --> 0:09:11.480 I really cared about writing more than art. But it 0:09:11.559 --> 0:09:14.079 was a smart move on my part because they had 0:09:14.080 --> 0:09:17.240 really good teachers at the Art Institute, writing teachers, but nobody. 0:09:17.320 --> 0:09:19.720 It wasn't a major, and I was the only student 0:09:19.760 --> 0:09:23.400 who cared, so the teachers gave me all their attention. 0:09:23.480 --> 0:09:26.760 It was like having my own private uh teachers. But 0:09:27.480 --> 0:09:30.439 I got a really good education at the Art Institute. 0:09:30.440 --> 0:09:33.320 So when you left Kent State and you go back 0:09:33.360 --> 0:09:35.640 to finish, what do you do? How many years are 0:09:35.640 --> 0:09:38.040 intervening and what do you do during those years? I 0:09:38.080 --> 0:09:40.600 did a lot of drugs. I moved back to my 0:09:40.679 --> 0:09:44.960 hometown and your house. You got your own place, Yeah, 0:09:45.000 --> 0:09:47.360 I got my own place at least, and I just, 0:09:47.760 --> 0:09:50.040 you know, on my death bed, if they said, Okay, 0:09:50.040 --> 0:09:52.640 what years did you waste? You know, what years would 0:09:52.679 --> 0:09:55.280 you like to have back? Those would be the years 0:09:55.559 --> 0:09:58.640 from when I was twenty two when I was twenty six. 0:09:59.360 --> 0:10:02.040 I mean I I wrote every day, so I was working. 0:10:03.200 --> 0:10:06.040 You know, I was never a lazy person that way. 0:10:06.200 --> 0:10:08.120 Like well, you know, when I was doing artwork, I 0:10:08.120 --> 0:10:12.080 did it every day, and I started writing. And when 0:10:12.080 --> 0:10:14.080 I was twenty and then I did it every day. 0:10:14.280 --> 0:10:17.000 You know, maybe I didn't have a job job, but 0:10:17.080 --> 0:10:20.280 I was doing that stuff every day and reading about it, 0:10:20.400 --> 0:10:23.280 and I was on fire, you know. You know, like 0:10:23.280 --> 0:10:25.800 when you meet somebody and they say, well, I want 0:10:25.840 --> 0:10:28.000 to be a writer or I want to be an artist, 0:10:28.520 --> 0:10:30.880 And I say, well, is it all you care about? 0:10:31.880 --> 0:10:35.720 Because if it's not, it's gonna be pretty hard for 0:10:35.800 --> 0:10:38.120 you. You You know, if you're not on fire. You know, 0:10:38.200 --> 0:10:40.040 you meet people like that and you can see him. 0:10:40.120 --> 0:10:43.040 It's like it's like opening the door of an oven, 0:10:43.120 --> 0:10:45.559 you know, and it's like wow. You know, you take 0:10:45.559 --> 0:10:48.760 a step back. And that doesn't mean they're good, but 0:10:48.800 --> 0:10:53.360 they're just intense and they're just it's all they think about, 0:10:53.360 --> 0:10:55.400 it's all they talk about, it's all they care about. 0:10:55.440 --> 0:10:59.120 They don't have relationships. They're not good friends for other people. 0:11:00.200 --> 0:11:06.960 This is just but they're yeah for you writing, and 0:11:07.040 --> 0:11:09.280 you are and I'm not just saying this. You are 0:11:09.360 --> 0:11:13.880 this remarkably talented and gifted writer and very successful writer. 0:11:14.400 --> 0:11:16.160 So when you sit down to write, what's the routine? 0:11:16.200 --> 0:11:18.240 Is there a usual routine? I just get up and 0:11:18.240 --> 0:11:20.679 go to my desk. I don't like to talk beforehand. 0:11:21.080 --> 0:11:24.400 I don't want to, you know, talking to the phone 0:11:24.480 --> 0:11:27.160 be the worst. But I mean my boyfriend Hugh, you know, 0:11:27.400 --> 0:11:29.280 I might say hello, you know, we might say a 0:11:29.360 --> 0:11:32.640 few words, but I just rather just save it from 0:11:32.640 --> 0:11:34.520 my desk. And then I just go to my desk 0:11:34.559 --> 0:11:38.599 every day, you know, not you know, like three and 0:11:38.600 --> 0:11:40.280 a half hours in the morning, and then I go 0:11:40.360 --> 0:11:43.400 back for another hour, hour and a half at night, 0:11:43.559 --> 0:11:47.040 because you're only good for so long. And I do 0:11:47.120 --> 0:11:49.360 it every day, like you know, when I'm on tour, 0:11:49.440 --> 0:11:53.320 I just get up earlier than normal. Or now after 0:11:53.360 --> 0:11:55.599 I quit smoking, then I could do it on airplanes, 0:11:55.600 --> 0:11:57.360 and I could do it in the backseats of cars. 0:11:57.440 --> 0:12:00.520 So let's just do it, you know. I finally the time, 0:12:00.600 --> 0:12:02.920 you know, you always find the time if it's important 0:12:02.960 --> 0:12:12.040 to you David Sedaris. If you enjoy conversations with insightful, 0:12:12.120 --> 0:12:16.800 observational humorists, check out my episode with Lena Dunham. I 0:12:16.800 --> 0:12:19.760 don't like a storyline that's like, you know, he bought 0:12:19.760 --> 0:12:22.800 me an entire trousseau of dresses and so I'm his forever. 0:12:22.920 --> 0:12:24.360 Like that's just not the way that I want to 0:12:24.840 --> 0:12:27.480 I realize anything. The characters can make mistakes, but they 0:12:27.520 --> 0:12:31.040 have to be emotionally responsible for the things that they've done. 0:12:31.520 --> 0:12:34.200 I don't ever want to, like have a makeover scenario 0:12:34.240 --> 0:12:36.680 where someone's doing better after they've put on a great 0:12:36.720 --> 0:12:39.600 dress and you know, straight ironed their hair, Like it's 0:12:39.600 --> 0:12:43.120 a really instinctual thing, but it's just a feeling uage. 0:12:44.240 --> 0:12:46.760 I want women. This is so kind of hippidip, but 0:12:46.840 --> 0:12:50.280 I want them to make their own choices. To hear 0:12:50.320 --> 0:12:53.960 more of my conversation with Lena Dunham, go to Here's 0:12:54.000 --> 0:12:58.559 the Thing dot Org. After the break, David Sedaris tells 0:12:58.640 --> 0:13:02.120 us about how his fraud relationship with his father changed 0:13:02.400 --> 0:13:17.800 at the end of his life. I'm Alec Baldwin and 0:13:17.880 --> 0:13:21.800 you're listening to hear is the Thing In David Sedaris's 0:13:21.920 --> 0:13:26.200 latest book, Happy go Lucky. The author revisits moments of 0:13:26.280 --> 0:13:30.360 his life with his ailing father. It's an unflinching look 0:13:30.360 --> 0:13:34.160 at some of the darker chapters of their history. I 0:13:34.320 --> 0:13:37.880 was curious what the reaction has been to him revealing 0:13:37.960 --> 0:13:43.200 these family secrets My father was. I had a book 0:13:43.200 --> 0:13:46.600 signing last night, and somebody said, um, you know that 0:13:46.640 --> 0:13:48.400 they'd come to see a show that I did a 0:13:48.440 --> 0:13:52.000 couple of years ago, and that there was a woman 0:13:52.040 --> 0:13:53.960 who worked at the theater whose job it was to 0:13:54.040 --> 0:13:56.319 maintain the book signing line, and she kept saying to 0:13:56.360 --> 0:13:58.480 everybody who comes by, no one should talk about their 0:13:58.520 --> 0:14:00.920 father that way. That's a shame what he was saying 0:14:01.000 --> 0:14:02.880 up there about his father. No one should talk about 0:14:02.880 --> 0:14:06.480 their father that way. Then, don't be a dick, you 0:14:06.520 --> 0:14:08.880 know what I mean? Like, I don't believe that rule 0:14:09.400 --> 0:14:10.880 that I was gonna ask you, is that is the 0:14:10.920 --> 0:14:13.280 rule that so long as it's true? Yeah, I mean, 0:14:13.800 --> 0:14:15.840 I'm feeling like, if you don't, if you want people 0:14:15.880 --> 0:14:18.199 to talk about you in a different way, be a 0:14:18.280 --> 0:14:23.760 good person, right. I would never I wouldn't write such 0:14:23.840 --> 0:14:26.240 things about my mother. I would have no. She was 0:14:26.920 --> 0:14:28.800 a lovely person. She was you know, I mean yeah, 0:14:28.920 --> 0:14:33.080 she was a one. I was thirty four when my 0:14:33.200 --> 0:14:38.160 mother died. But my mother was always my mother, you know, 0:14:38.440 --> 0:14:40.200 she and I were crazy about each other. So when 0:14:40.280 --> 0:14:43.040 she died, then it was like I was kind of 0:14:43.080 --> 0:14:46.080 alone in the family, like I didn't have a parent, 0:14:46.800 --> 0:14:50.800 you know, because my father just he just could never 0:14:50.880 --> 0:14:53.200 stand me. I mean it was always, you know, from 0:14:53.200 --> 0:14:55.640 when I was a kid. And I'm not saying that 0:14:55.760 --> 0:14:58.160 in a boo whoey way, because I had my mother, 0:14:58.920 --> 0:15:02.400 so it wasn't like I didn't have anybody. But you know, 0:15:02.520 --> 0:15:04.920 somebody dislikes you that strongly, and you think, well, i'll 0:15:04.920 --> 0:15:07.000 do this and that'll make him like me, and I'll 0:15:07.200 --> 0:15:10.280 try this, and and then after a while you realize, 0:15:10.360 --> 0:15:13.160 like the thing you can do. But at the very 0:15:13.280 --> 0:15:15.120 end of his life, just the very end the past 0:15:15.160 --> 0:15:18.400 few months, you know, he started going to the front 0:15:18.480 --> 0:15:20.800 desk it is this just a living center and asking 0:15:20.920 --> 0:15:25.560 for his mother, right or you'd call and he would say, oh, 0:15:25.720 --> 0:15:28.560 the guys from my BM are all here, and we 0:15:28.800 --> 0:15:32.920 we I've just been talking to them. And he developed 0:15:33.000 --> 0:15:35.560 like the mania, not so that he didn't know who 0:15:35.640 --> 0:15:42.320 we were, but he forgot that he was uh, really 0:15:42.400 --> 0:15:45.520 difficult person, and he was lovely the last time I 0:15:45.560 --> 0:15:50.080 saw him. He was just because before that, like if 0:15:50.160 --> 0:15:53.160 my father and I were on the phone, like all 0:15:53.240 --> 0:15:57.080 of his conversations were just superficial. How the hell are 0:15:57.160 --> 0:16:01.520 you so? How how's your health? How are you? I 0:16:01.600 --> 0:16:04.720 mean a lot of the way my dad was. It 0:16:04.800 --> 0:16:09.200 was just the way that guys were his age, you know, 0:16:09.280 --> 0:16:12.080 I mean, it was pretty normal to slap your kids around. 0:16:12.160 --> 0:16:15.920 That was pretty normal. It's pretty normal to just come 0:16:15.960 --> 0:16:18.360 home from work and expect them all to shut up 0:16:18.400 --> 0:16:21.360 and tiptoe around you. All that stuff I understand. You know, 0:16:22.320 --> 0:16:26.720 Um didn't didn't really have any friends, you know, any 0:16:26.920 --> 0:16:29.720 male friends, didn't. When my mother died, I worried my 0:16:29.840 --> 0:16:31.720 dad would be lonely. And then he had these neighbors, 0:16:31.760 --> 0:16:35.080 the Wolfheimer's, and they stepped in and they started inviting 0:16:35.120 --> 0:16:37.800 my dad to their house for dinner, and so he 0:16:38.320 --> 0:16:40.680 had somebody to hang out with. And then he tripped 0:16:40.680 --> 0:16:42.520 on some wet leaves and the driver I go into 0:16:42.560 --> 0:16:46.480 their house for dinner, and he sued him and he said, 0:16:46.480 --> 0:16:49.800 it's not them, he spanned, it's the insurance company. It's like, 0:16:51.760 --> 0:16:54.120 it's not like he broke his leg or anything. Either 0:16:54.440 --> 0:16:58.360 you know now, when Happy Go Lucky, did you feel 0:16:58.400 --> 0:17:02.120 like you needed that permission from people surviving members of 0:17:02.200 --> 0:17:05.200 your family? Did you like run it buy them to 0:17:05.240 --> 0:17:07.520 see how they felt, or you don't think about that? No, 0:17:07.920 --> 0:17:10.080 I know, I mean I generally do. I mean. There 0:17:10.160 --> 0:17:12.520 was an essay that I sent to my sister Lisa 0:17:13.320 --> 0:17:15.720 Um and it was called pussy Toes and it was 0:17:15.760 --> 0:17:18.920 about my my dad's funeral and I sent it to 0:17:19.000 --> 0:17:21.080 her and I had said in there that the coffin 0:17:21.200 --> 0:17:24.560 she chose was ugly, right, and and that really hurt 0:17:24.600 --> 0:17:27.240 her feelings. And then she responded, you know, I think 0:17:27.280 --> 0:17:30.280 you maybe need to stop writing about dad until you 0:17:30.359 --> 0:17:33.760 figure some stuff out. And then luckily I had Amy there, 0:17:33.760 --> 0:17:37.120 and Amy's like, it was ugly, you know, the coffin 0:17:37.960 --> 0:17:41.920 was just you know, but I said good things about 0:17:41.960 --> 0:17:45.080 my sister Lisa and it, but like, there's plenty of 0:17:45.160 --> 0:17:47.960 good things, so I just the only bad thing I 0:17:48.080 --> 0:17:52.239 said was that the coffin. Yeah, that's the only bad thing. 0:17:52.720 --> 0:17:54.360 But it doesn't work. You know, if you're just hard 0:17:54.400 --> 0:17:57.399 on everybody but you're not hard on yourself, you know, 0:17:57.520 --> 0:18:01.840 then that does. Everybody can can smell that a mile 0:18:01.920 --> 0:18:06.760 away now, Um, I'm assuming that the main activity for 0:18:06.840 --> 0:18:10.520 you as book sales. You're selling books, Well, I'm I 0:18:10.640 --> 0:18:13.119 think I'm getting more from going on tour. I have 0:18:13.200 --> 0:18:15.919 a lecture agent, so I go on tour. So I usually, 0:18:16.240 --> 0:18:18.600 like this past year, I went to like hundred and 0:18:18.680 --> 0:18:23.240 twenty cities, you know, in theaters, so I'm reading in theaters. 0:18:24.000 --> 0:18:25.800 So but I'm saying that the books that you're promoting 0:18:25.800 --> 0:18:29.000 at the time are the center of the appearance. Uh. Well, 0:18:29.200 --> 0:18:31.639 usually when I when I go on tour, like I 0:18:31.760 --> 0:18:34.040 have new material and I read it out loud, and 0:18:34.080 --> 0:18:36.520 then I go back to the room and read yet, No, 0:18:36.640 --> 0:18:38.760 it hadn't been published, and I just find it out, yeah, 0:18:38.880 --> 0:18:41.880 testing it out and polishing it up, and then then 0:18:41.920 --> 0:18:43.520 I usually give it to my editor at the New 0:18:43.600 --> 0:18:45.720 York or at the end of a tour. So I 0:18:46.000 --> 0:18:48.719 try to learn as much as on my own as 0:18:48.800 --> 0:18:51.080 I can before I turn it over to somebody else. 0:18:51.840 --> 0:18:54.200 Are there cities that you go to You said you 0:18:54.240 --> 0:18:57.280 went to a hundred and twenty gigs last year. Yeah, 0:18:57.320 --> 0:19:00.639 I went to seventy four cities in the all and 0:19:00.760 --> 0:19:05.520 then I went to Uh, I just finished forty four 0:19:05.920 --> 0:19:08.679 more cities, and then I went to some in between. 0:19:08.800 --> 0:19:12.359 There two in Canada and on the West coast. But 0:19:12.520 --> 0:19:16.199 we'll defined city when you say seventy four cities, are 0:19:16.240 --> 0:19:19.920 you right? You know, I was just in Skagway, Alaska. Okay. 0:19:20.000 --> 0:19:22.880 I think seven hundred people live in Skagway. A quarter 0:19:22.960 --> 0:19:25.080 of the population came to see me, though. I mean, 0:19:25.160 --> 0:19:27.640 can you imagine if quarter of the population New York 0:19:27.680 --> 0:19:30.800 came to see you, that'd be a pretty big theater, 0:19:32.040 --> 0:19:34.320 you know. But I used to listen, remember, you know, 0:19:34.400 --> 0:19:37.040 you'd see people on talk shows Johnny Carson or whatever, 0:19:37.119 --> 0:19:39.639 and they would say, and I'm gonna be in Oklahoma 0:19:39.720 --> 0:19:43.760 City or I'm gonna be in um uh, Salina, Kansas, 0:19:43.960 --> 0:19:47.040 And you think, what a loser. But I didn't realize 0:19:47.080 --> 0:19:50.560 at the time. If you can sell tickets in Salina, 0:19:51.080 --> 0:19:53.120 if you can sell tickets in Oklahoma City, you're doing 0:19:53.160 --> 0:19:55.920 pretty good. Of course, you can sell them in Chicago 0:19:56.160 --> 0:19:58.680 and San Francisco and Los Angeles, but if you can 0:19:58.840 --> 0:20:02.000 play the small all her towns. So I'm getting ready 0:20:02.040 --> 0:20:04.000 to go on a UK tour, and I'm going to 0:20:04.080 --> 0:20:06.760 a lot of dinky places in the UK because I 0:20:06.960 --> 0:20:09.800 have a radio show there, so then people will come. 0:20:10.040 --> 0:20:11.679 So you're gonna go to a lot of dinky towns 0:20:11.760 --> 0:20:16.680 and in England. Yeah, who who maps this out for you? 0:20:16.800 --> 0:20:20.480 Who do sets the whole thing? Yeah? I have a 0:20:20.560 --> 0:20:22.760 lecture agent and he just tells me where to go, 0:20:22.840 --> 0:20:27.400 and I go, and I don't put up any Skagway, Alaska. Yeah, 0:20:28.080 --> 0:20:30.080 And but I'm so glad that I went to Skagway. 0:20:30.760 --> 0:20:33.000 Like a lot of those little towns. I went to Alaska, 0:20:33.200 --> 0:20:35.919 like there's no place to buy a tie, and everyone 0:20:36.080 --> 0:20:38.840 is dressed to kill something and then to bathe in 0:20:38.920 --> 0:20:43.960 its blood, right, like everybody is a slum, right, But 0:20:44.160 --> 0:20:46.080 there was only some. I met a woman and she 0:20:46.160 --> 0:20:49.000 had had she had cancer, and so she was flying. 0:20:49.160 --> 0:20:52.119 He had been flying from Skagway to Houston once a 0:20:52.240 --> 0:20:55.440 week right for treatment. And she said, well, we have 0:20:55.600 --> 0:20:58.120 good you know, we're lucky. We have good health insurance 0:20:58.200 --> 0:21:00.520 my husband and and I said, how did you afford 0:21:00.560 --> 0:21:03.359 the tickets? And she said the community, She said, when 0:21:03.400 --> 0:21:05.439 you live in a place like this, you know, if 0:21:05.480 --> 0:21:08.000 your house burns down, everybody builds you a new one. 0:21:08.920 --> 0:21:11.920 If you're sick, everybody chips in. Everybody, she said, even 0:21:11.960 --> 0:21:14.360 if they don't like you. And I thought, well that's 0:21:14.400 --> 0:21:17.399 why people live there, because you know, if my neighbor 0:21:17.600 --> 0:21:20.960 downstairs for me in New York, if her apartment caught 0:21:21.000 --> 0:21:23.480 on fire, I'd let her stand my guest room, you know, 0:21:23.560 --> 0:21:26.880 for a night. But it's a little bit different. We're 0:21:26.920 --> 0:21:29.240 not or if she needed something from the grocery store, 0:21:29.280 --> 0:21:33.119 I'm happy to go, but we're not from the nearest hospital. 0:21:33.320 --> 0:21:36.360 We're not gonna die if our heat goes out on Tuesday. 0:21:37.200 --> 0:21:40.359 So it's it's really kind of a beautiful thing, and 0:21:40.400 --> 0:21:44.119 it's something I didn't understand, and it's something that people 0:21:44.160 --> 0:21:46.720 are willing to It's a fair exchange to them. Like 0:21:46.800 --> 0:21:50.320 I'm willing to exchange access to a hospital. I'm willing 0:21:50.400 --> 0:21:53.640 to exchange the ability to buy a a bow tie 0:21:53.720 --> 0:21:58.840 whenever I want to, for community, for for feeling like 0:21:58.960 --> 0:22:01.120 I'm part of a fan way when I walk out 0:22:01.200 --> 0:22:03.760 my door every morning and I thought, gosh, how didn't 0:22:03.760 --> 0:22:09.719 I how how did I not understand that before? Author 0:22:10.000 --> 0:22:13.920 David Sedaris. If you're enjoying this conversation, tell a friend 0:22:14.359 --> 0:22:16.879 and be sure to follow here's the thing on the 0:22:17.000 --> 0:22:21.320 I Heart radio app, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. 0:22:21.920 --> 0:22:25.000 When we come back, David Sedaris tells us why we 0:22:25.040 --> 0:22:39.680 should never get under the hood of our relationships. I'm 0:22:39.680 --> 0:22:42.520 Alec Baldwin and you were listening to Here's the thing. 0:22:43.440 --> 0:22:47.720 David Saderis had to pause his normal itinerary of book 0:22:47.800 --> 0:22:51.919