Speaker 1: All right, let's get into our kick of the week, y'all.
Speaker 1: We are going to do the A, B C's of
Speaker 1: Mother Earth. I looked up these kink slash fetishes that
Speaker 1: I'm like, Damn, I don't know we've ever talked about it,
Speaker 1: because what the fuck? So the first one, and I
Speaker 1: want you all to guess what y'all think, It is
Speaker 1: based on Latin roots and shit. So actorasty fetish. What
Speaker 1: do you think that means? Actorasty? And I don't know
Speaker 1: if I'm saying it right, but that's how it spelled.
Speaker 1: Act I are a s t y actorasty fetish, all right, y'all.
Speaker 2: HOST don't know.
Speaker 1: So it is the sexual fetish known when someone is
Speaker 1: aroused by the rays of the sun. Therefore, someone with
Speaker 1: this fetish would love being intimate outdoors or under a
Speaker 1: large window on a sunny afternoon.
Speaker 2: What is the sun connected to acting? I don't know.
Speaker 2: I just thought y'all might know. Let and roots.
Speaker 1: I don't know this next one though, mind you, the
Speaker 1: other egg the other a one was way too easy.
Speaker 2: Y'all would have got it.
Speaker 1: Aquaphilia, okay, fucking in the water aqua you know, all right,
Speaker 1: So this next one bronzophilia.
Speaker 2: And this has nothing to do with lebron.
Speaker 1: Ja damn tough bronzophilia. This actually I think I'm a bronxophiliac.
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's the word, but this is me.
Speaker 1: So Bronsophilia is the fetish when someone gets extremely aroused
Speaker 1: by thunderstorms.
Speaker 2: What the fun?
Speaker 1: Yes, Oh, I ain't gonna hold you, okay, but I
Speaker 1: bet the way I'm the way I rub my plussy
Speaker 1: when it's raining, I'd be like, oh my god, time
Speaker 1: to like go play with myself. When I hear that
Speaker 1: goddamn rain and thunder, my whole body shuts down and
Speaker 1: I just get horny.
Speaker 3: Why because your body knows there's nothing else you can
Speaker 3: do right now? You can't, Bro, you know what I
Speaker 3: just said. So I went to Mexico to get this
Speaker 3: dental shit done. Long story short, one of the days
Speaker 3: it was crazy thunder. So my nigga wakes up and
Speaker 3: he's like, damn that sucks.
Speaker 4: And I was like, bro, we're on vacation to do.
Speaker 3: Nothing and now actually in the best place. So we
Speaker 3: come outside and it's all inclusive award and you can
Speaker 3: tell they stress and they'll know what activities to do
Speaker 3: for people. They were like, sawty, you know you guys
Speaker 3: having a good day. I'm like, you're having a nigga.
Speaker 3: I had that sex blaze on my face, you know what.
Speaker 2: The little dried up.
Speaker 3: Coming looked a little white. It looked like I had
Speaker 3: some eggs of a flakes, just seemen. I love when
Speaker 3: it rings. Give it to me, all right, and now
Speaker 3: first seek. Let's see if y'all can get this. This
Speaker 3: one was strange.
Speaker 2: Chasmophilia, by the way, has something to do avoid you.
Speaker 2: It's all about mother Earth. Oh.
Speaker 1: Chasmophilia, by the way, I love that. There's kinks that
Speaker 1: we still don't know that I saw and I was like,
Speaker 1: what the fuck? I don't think we ever talked about it.
Speaker 2: Close? What did you say? No, we was closer.
Speaker 3: I'm thinking of something like feeling the ground, like grounding close.
Speaker 3: Child Maphilia is an unusual and interesting fetish. What it
Speaker 3: means is that one is aroused by crevices, caverns, and valleys.
Speaker 4: Oh wow, okay, literally maybe.
Speaker 1: A bitch one, which, to be fair, I did fucking
Speaker 1: a cave in in in Jamaica. Now I don't I
Speaker 1: haven't been to Green Canyon yet, so I don't know
Speaker 1: if my mind would be turned on by wanting to
Speaker 1: fuck in the can were.
Speaker 4: Other people in the like how big is the cave?
Speaker 2: Like the cakes?
Speaker 1: The cave is like the sides of this room that
Speaker 1: we're in, and there was a waterfall like blocking it.
Speaker 1: So it's a really dark cave the waterfalls coming down
Speaker 1: and we have we we know, no bad. We were
Speaker 1: the only ones in it. It's like a man made one.
Speaker 1: It was at the Nude Poole.
Speaker 3: Oh, it was like a fake cave cave, but it
Speaker 3: was given cave no because like you know, when you
Speaker 3: go on vacation you start walking with the bull shoes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, no, no, not giving that care.
Speaker 1: It was given a cave in a pool, like.
Speaker 2: A belt cave. All right.
Speaker 1: So for the Hoda, this is one I found online
Speaker 1: and I was like, never thought of it this way.
Speaker 1: This is called tactile exploration. So this is when and
Speaker 1: this is a real vanilla tip by.
Speaker 2: The way, for y'all.
Speaker 1: So when I read it, I was like, oh, I
Speaker 1: never thought about that, but yes, this is great because
Speaker 1: I feel it when I'm in other people's bed. So
Speaker 1: tactile exploration is the introduction of very textures in the
Speaker 1: bedroom where.
Speaker 2: You would have sex.
Speaker 1: So you could either do this through bedding, you could
Speaker 1: do it through clothing or even accessories.
Speaker 2: So for example, silk sheets I ain't gonna hold you.
Speaker 1: Gives a way different thing, a way different feeling when
Speaker 1: you're having sex on your body, like silk sheets. I
Speaker 1: had a nigga with silk sheets, and I was like,
Speaker 1: this nigga is a whore because it felt like I
Speaker 1: just knew. I said, oh, you have to be a slut.
Speaker 1: First off, what nigga has silk sheets? But also it
Speaker 1: made me feel like, why the fuck don't I have
Speaker 1: silk sheets? Because silk sheets ate on your body like
Speaker 1: you slide a little bit more and you don't feel
Speaker 1: like mind you, it just doesn't feel as rough.
Speaker 2: But also it's cold.
Speaker 3: I'm like wondering right now if those silk shit sheet
Speaker 3: things was recent, right, somebody listening.
Speaker 2: To this like hold on.
Speaker 1: Bruh silk sheets. I was like, oh, I need.
Speaker 3: I've actually thought men were horries for having silk filler pastes,
Speaker 3: because well.
Speaker 1: That's well unless he got dreads or hair than it
Speaker 1: is for him if he got braids or dreads. I'm
Speaker 1: not even thinking it's for a bitch. I'm thinking this
Speaker 1: nigga cares about his locks.
Speaker 2: I say they do. Okay.
Speaker 1: Another way to incorporate this is with temperature play, so
Speaker 1: warmed or cooled objects to stimulate nerve endings. Now, this
Speaker 1: is the tip that I found so interesting because I
Speaker 1: never thought about it.
Speaker 2: Oh she did do that, didn't she.
Speaker 1: So a cool tip for this would be for those
Speaker 1: of you with loube Now, yes, sometimes you just keep
Speaker 1: it in your jaw, you keep it around. Well, the
Speaker 1: tip is to actually place one of your loubs in
Speaker 1: the fridge. Place them in the fridge, and it says,
Speaker 1: instead of just applying it to your genitals, this could
Speaker 1: be a fun way for you to incorporate a cold
Speaker 1: sensation all over the body. Okay, so maybe just massage
Speaker 1: oil in the fridge. Well, it's that astro glad liquid
Speaker 1: in the fridge.
Speaker 3: But I wonder I accidentally massaged my nigga with loub
Speaker 3: once instead of oh shit, because.
Speaker 2: It's just dark and I was about to ask you
Speaker 2: what it does get a little thick after a while.
Speaker 3: Okay, we just did this whole play and it was
Speaker 3: so dumb. It was only three days ago, but basically
Speaker 3: he got out the shower. Yeah, I think he told
Speaker 3: me he wanted to do more role play while we
Speaker 3: were at dinner.
Speaker 4: I'm like, is there anything you want?
Speaker 3: It was the part of that conversation I was saying
Speaker 3: on our last episode, is there anything you want? And
Speaker 3: he was like, I just don't want nose Like I
Speaker 3: want us to do weird shit to each other's bodies,
Speaker 3: like I want everykay to feel like a yes all
Speaker 3: the time.
Speaker 2: And I'm like okay.
Speaker 3: So I got out the shower and he was laying
Speaker 3: down on a towel. I think he was like loationing
Speaker 3: up after his shower, and so I got out in
Speaker 3: heels and panties and I was like, sir, thank you
Speaker 3: so much for coming to the student massage back you
Speaker 3: hope I do well. I might mess up, but I'm
Speaker 3: hoping that I can please you.
Speaker 2: Look at you with this bitch.
Speaker 1: So I laid him down and I put the towel
Speaker 1: over his eyes, and I turned the lights down because
Speaker 1: for some reason, for me, I get nervous when the
Speaker 1: lights are right. Okay, I'm just like, bro, you got it.
Speaker 3: Instead, also like I got that I want scarf from
Speaker 3: when I got bucked up, you.
Speaker 2: Know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: I got green on my knee from the bruise, Like
Speaker 3: it's too much, so I turned the light down. Now
Speaker 3: I can't see lub or oil and they kind of
Speaker 3: you know, and they do different things. Once it went
Speaker 3: on his body, I knew it wasn't vitamin E and
Speaker 3: I started to feel how thick it was, and the
Speaker 3: nigga got hair, so it was but you know, I
Speaker 3: was still at it. Also, he was like really good
Speaker 3: of an actor, too good, And it started to make
Speaker 3: me laugh because what was he acting like? I was like,
Speaker 3: he was like, I'm not there, not there right, like
Speaker 3: basically saying I wasn't doing anything. I was like, is
Speaker 3: this better? So I started sucking stick and he's like,
Speaker 3: my wife doesn't let me do that.
Speaker 1: You just got a little taste of the Horrible Decisions Patreon,
Speaker 1: But why it's up there. Tap in for the full,
Speaker 1: uncut and way naster episodes over on Patreon. Go to
Speaker 1: patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions and unlike all the messy,
Speaker 1: t wild story and bonus content, you won't hear anywhere else,
Speaker 1: And now here's You've got Decisions.
Speaker 3: If you would like to have us answer your questions.
Speaker 3: If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or
Speaker 3: a terrible throuffle, guess what you've got decisions.
Speaker 2: Welcome to another You got decision? Hey, everybody, we're virtual
Speaker 2: right now. I'm in one place, she's in one place.
Speaker 2: Just call this an l d are what longest his relationship?
Speaker 1: We got to work on our freestyling, like it just
Speaker 1: it just doesn't really hit Oh my god, restart Like no,
Speaker 1: we're not restarting vision.
Speaker 2: We're keeping this in. But then we might need.
Speaker 1: To start like you knows, Hey, if any of y'all
Speaker 1: are giving Quincy Miller and want to come ghost write
Speaker 1: us a few wild intros, hey hit us up in
Speaker 1: the email.
Speaker 4: Is that the Drake ghostwriter guy?
Speaker 2: And is bitch? And is more?
Speaker 1: I think it's Quentin Quincy Miller. I think was a ballplayer.
Speaker 1: I think it's Quenton Miller. It's a cute start the
Speaker 1: ball player. Yeah, that was a ballplayer yesterday.
Speaker 3: And it was so shocking to me because it's been
Speaker 3: so long, and I was like, oh, you're trying to
Speaker 3: funk me.
Speaker 2: Was he was he of young age or of seasoning?
Speaker 2: Good question?
Speaker 3: What kind of trick was he you ask? Wow, I
Speaker 3: was at the Tesla charging station. Okay, he can on
Speaker 3: the phone, and I guess you can kind of hear,
Speaker 3: and you know, my speaker turned off. I would like, bitch,
Speaker 3: and what did nigga was saying? Oh, your speaker always
Speaker 3: turned up?
Speaker 1: You like embarrassing bitches while they tell people, Oh.
Speaker 2: You're right.
Speaker 3: Well, this particular conversation, me and my homegirl was talking
Speaker 3: about how this nigga uh was trying to talk her
Speaker 3: and her homegirl She's like, whatever, I'm a trick on,
Speaker 3: Like we both do trick on a nigga.
Speaker 4: So boom, I get out to unplug my car. He
Speaker 4: was like, y'all ruthless.
Speaker 3: So I actually don't know what he's talking about because
Speaker 3: I don't realize he was hearing the conversation. So I'm like, huh,
Speaker 3: and he was like, I'm just playing with you. He's like, which,
Speaker 3: I couldn't hear what you was saying? What kind of
Speaker 3: advice you was trying to give? He was like, damn
Speaker 3: women women crazy nowadays.
Speaker 2: Huh.
Speaker 4: He's like, I ain't been out, Oh I'm in the.
Speaker 2: Game in a while.
Speaker 3: And I was like, so he was older, Okay, okay.
Speaker 3: So I'm about to get in the car. He's like, wait, wait, wait, wait,
Speaker 3: wait where you where are you running to? I was like,
Speaker 3: to my home.
Speaker 2: You should have said to my man, my man, my man,
Speaker 2: do you see this hand? This is what I'm gonna do.
Speaker 3: I'm just playing, I always say, but I'm gonna start
Speaker 3: doing it till I get married.
Speaker 2: Do you see this hand?
Speaker 3: So uh, he immediately said when he said you running
Speaker 3: at home, you must got a man at home.
Speaker 2: I was like, I do he ain't got a wife
Speaker 2: at home? And he was like no.
Speaker 3: And all I could think is not in this home
Speaker 3: that I'm sitting now, not in this particular home. So
Speaker 3: as I'm about to get in a car, He's like, well,
Speaker 3: I charged my car probably every other night, so I'll
Speaker 3: see you again if you coming this time.
Speaker 1: What that was it? That was the pickup line? I said,
Speaker 1: thanks so much. Okay, that's given overseas player. I need
Speaker 1: to know who it was if you know the name,
Speaker 1: because you know, I know.
Speaker 2: Was the Tesla truck. So it just gave little dick.
Speaker 2: I need a big car. Whoa Tesla truck gives a
Speaker 2: little dick? Now?
Speaker 1: Word, you know, I'm telling Alex on you. I'm telling Alex,
Speaker 1: I'm telling Alex. You're talking about him on the pod.
Speaker 2: I wasn't talking about Alix, but he got a Tesla truck.
Speaker 4: Okay, because I do be judging niggas with the Tesla truck.
Speaker 4: You can't see it, don't you be like, uh.
Speaker 2: Tell me you don't do that. I don't mind it.
Speaker 2: I think it's kind of robotic. It just it. It
Speaker 2: made me think that they're into conspiracy theories and might
Speaker 2: have a robot at home.
Speaker 3: LEXP would like to speak, because the nigga came back
Speaker 3: that slaby, then motherfucker's be scruggling.
Speaker 4: I'd be seeing the Tesla truck go around and around
Speaker 4: and around and around trying to look for parallel parking.
Speaker 1: Hell no, I mean, well, here in Atlanta there's parking spaces,
Speaker 1: so now it is, or here in Atlanta you could
Speaker 1: pretty much pay twenty to sixty dollars to ballet everywhere.
Speaker 1: Like everywhere you go and pull up to in Atlanta
Speaker 1: got vallet. But you can ballet at the mall.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 3: I tried to do a little fucking nice act that
Speaker 3: I went on a date with a niggain in Atlanta.
Speaker 2: It was very short lived.
Speaker 3: Right when I broke up with o Bed and I
Speaker 3: remember when we pulled up to the spot.
Speaker 2: He was like.
Speaker 4: I was like, I could take care of Vallet. He
Speaker 4: looked at me like that was cute.
Speaker 2: Love and drog dealer tell me what I do?
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I'm on my pomcast.
Speaker 2: Okay go, I'm we all right.
Speaker 1: Well, y'all, this is gonna be an interesting one today.
Speaker 2: Again.
Speaker 1: If you have a letter where you want me and Weezy,
Speaker 1: who are not experts at anything, probably accept podcasting to
Speaker 1: give you advice. Email us at decisions pod at gmail
Speaker 1: dot com. This week, one of our listeners wants to know,
Speaker 1: is it because I'm black?
Speaker 2: Let's get it to it. First off, I'm a huge fan.
Speaker 1: Big shout out to you sisters for always making me
Speaker 1: feel seen and validated as a multifaceted and sexually.
Speaker 2: Liberated black female background.
Speaker 1: I'm a black girl living in Maine, so it can
Speaker 1: feel very isolating not having girlfriends and my folks in
Speaker 1: close proximity to be able to have these more intimate
Speaker 1: and sometimes embarrassing combos. So I'm a faithful listener to
Speaker 1: the show and love being able to relate to the
Speaker 1: concerns guests makes me feel like I'm not the only
Speaker 1: one in her head sometimes, and I finally felt like
Speaker 1: I needed to write in for a bit of advice.
Speaker 3: I also want to just say I googled the black
Speaker 3: population in the state of Maine one point eight to
Speaker 3: two and a half percent.
Speaker 1: Ooh girl, I'm gonna just guess yes, because it's because
Speaker 1: you're black.
Speaker 2: Right before we even read the rock. So here we go.
Speaker 1: So I have been having sex with a Hispanic gentleman
Speaker 1: for over fifteen years.
Speaker 2: Damn girl, this is a situation. Sit not that pingos
Speaker 2: that bueno.
Speaker 1: Okay, so this might not be the problem we thought.
Speaker 1: It's not even a white all right. We've never taken
Speaker 1: anything beyond the physical. However, when we got together, I
Speaker 1: was significantly overweight at the time, so my confidence didn't
Speaker 1: pursue seriously, and I never really felt like it was
Speaker 1: anything to be taken serious. I was just grateful for
Speaker 1: a good time and somebody who saw the same thing
Speaker 1: in me.
Speaker 2: Oh girl, I've been there.
Speaker 1: We never dated, just met as mutual friends in the home,
Speaker 1: and we were young, horny kids that fell in lust.
Speaker 1: Fast fast forward. He's always around on the back burner.
Speaker 1: If I call him, he comes faithfully. Now, I was
Speaker 1: married in twenty twelve and don't play about loyalty, so
Speaker 1: whenever relationships I've had became serious, I would be honest
Speaker 1: and cut him loose. In that marriage, I had one child,
Speaker 1: and when that relationship ended, I reached out to him first.
Speaker 1: Over the years, I've had a few other long and
Speaker 1: serious relationships, all that have ended, and him too. His
Speaker 1: child was born shortly after mine. When we reconnected after
Speaker 1: ending our relationships, he told me at least twice during
Speaker 1: intercourse I should have had his child, though I don't
Speaker 1: know if he means it or just does it to
Speaker 1: be more aroused. But he's never tried, even with me
Speaker 1: crying out to come in me once by a sheer accident.
Speaker 1: The sex is just so passionate and intense. I've never
Speaker 1: had someone satisfy.
Speaker 2: Me like that.
Speaker 1: His dick literally feels made for me, and he always comes,
Speaker 1: no matter the location.
Speaker 2: Time he responds and lets me.
Speaker 3: Know he wants me to time like hey, Pussy's sister.
Speaker 1: If he's out of sound, he lets me know I'm
Speaker 1: a priority when he gets back. Now, when we started fucking,
Speaker 1: we were in our late teens early twenties. So when
Speaker 1: I got married, he slept with a friend of mine.
Speaker 1: Crazy part is he told me not her.
Speaker 2: I hit him up.
Speaker 1: When my divorce closed, he came over and let me
Speaker 1: know what happened before we fused, which I appreciate because
Speaker 1: it allowed me to choose if I still wanted him.
Speaker 1: And years later, girl, and years later, when he was
Speaker 1: in a relationship, I messed with someone who I later
Speaker 1: found out was a friend to him. Do either of
Speaker 1: us still talk to those outside people? Nor was it
Speaker 1: anything but once on each end?
Speaker 2: But here's my dilemma. Here we go.
Speaker 1: When we have sex, it's the best I've ever had.
Speaker 1: He takes good care of me, and I like to
Speaker 1: think vice versa. Right now, we are both not in relationships,
Speaker 1: so we fuck a few times a month, no condoms,
Speaker 1: but I trust him. I've never had him not be
Speaker 1: honest about if we should wrap up as a precaution.
Speaker 1: The last year or so, the sex has changed and
Speaker 1: became even more intimate or always, but no more crazy
Speaker 1: from the back hair pulling. He wants me on my back,
Speaker 1: kisses me passionately, slow grinds in me, watches my face
Speaker 1: expressions bites me when I growl.
Speaker 2: He's focused.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I myself dreaming of taking it to another level
Speaker 1: because it's so good. He says little things to me
Speaker 1: like he knows he can't be faithful. He likes attention
Speaker 1: and shit and I do too, But I hate reducing
Speaker 1: what we have to just fuck buddies because it does
Speaker 1: feel like more to me. I don't want to like him,
Speaker 1: but I genuinely like who he's been to me, honest,
Speaker 1: raw and genuine. If not fucking get out, Oh it's
Speaker 1: not fucking get out, it's nice combos sex.
Speaker 2: And the genuine connection.
Speaker 1: I am older now and no, I can't change who
Speaker 1: he is, and I'm not looking for a relationship, but
Speaker 1: I'm in deep. Am I wasting myself by just enjoying
Speaker 1: him when I do have him? I don't want sex
Speaker 1: with anyone else, but I'm sure he does and I
Speaker 1: don't mind.
Speaker 2: And is it because I'm black? His baby mama is Hispanic?
Speaker 1: And I've always wondered if citing a black girl is
Speaker 1: the problem, if citing a black girl's apot, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Not a lot of options amain like that, but I
Speaker 1: do try to date. I just feel pointless when physically
Speaker 1: I feel like that's where I want to be, and
Speaker 1: I'm getting older, and I feel like neither of us
Speaker 1: want to start again our children are older. But I
Speaker 1: would for him because I feel like it wouldn't be hard.
Speaker 1: But I'm also feeling weird bringing it up.
Speaker 2: If it was just sex, I.
Speaker 1: Only have a few years to even have this combo,
Speaker 1: so I don't want to miss the window of what
Speaker 1: could be real, but don't want to sound stupid if
Speaker 1: I'm overthinking. So please I need big sens advice as
Speaker 1: keeping it up or am I wasting time? Thank you tremendously.
Speaker 4: My initial thoughts were not because she was black at all.
Speaker 1: My initial thoughts were what other conversations have been had?
Speaker 1: How what do all his other partners look like that
Speaker 1: you're aware of that You're thinking that your blackness is
Speaker 1: the issue. So if there have been maybe comments made
Speaker 1: aid that you took in jest, or if everyone else
Speaker 1: he's slept it with didn't look like you, I could
Speaker 1: see why you feel maybe fetishized to where sex is
Speaker 1: only as far as he'll go with you. Because he's
Speaker 1: clearly gotten into other long term relationships and have had
Speaker 1: children by other women of other colors, So I get
Speaker 1: maybe she could be in her head about it, but
Speaker 1: I'm wondering where that question came from.
Speaker 3: Honey, I can't tell you how many situationships my homegirls
Speaker 3: have been in my I've been in. Random shit's gone on, confusion,
Speaker 3: and it's not because of race. Like when a nigga
Speaker 3: wants you, they want you. Now, I'm not saying that
Speaker 3: you're someone that's undesirable, but this is what I do believe.
Speaker 3: If you've been fucking him for fifteen years, that's a
Speaker 3: long time. There is a comfort there with the sex
Speaker 3: that I don't know if he want to ruin.
Speaker 2: However, at this point, oh go go.
Speaker 1: As a woman who is fucked on niggas for ten
Speaker 1: plus years, just because they have that comfortable fuck relationship
Speaker 1: with you doesn't mean they'll want an exclusive relationship with you.
Speaker 2: And now it's only getting better.
Speaker 3: Also, you got to remember, because you know each other better,
Speaker 3: you're maybe you're having more consistent sex than you have
Speaker 3: in the past. Like you said, now it's five times
Speaker 3: a month, opposed to like y'all dropping off a little bit,
Speaker 3: like if I'm fucking a nigga every single week.
Speaker 4: Of course, you're going to get better and better and
Speaker 4: better and better.
Speaker 3: Right, So you're mistaking the increase in intimacy for an
Speaker 3: increase in romance and love. And I think that's kind
Speaker 3: of where fuck buddies it becomes difficult because you're like,
Speaker 3: how could this person just be a fuck buddy?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 3: Well they are And this is the do you w
Speaker 3: W we get an episode with is this name Mike?
Speaker 3: And we were talking about romance with cash will look
Speaker 3: up Mike the Poet, yep, Mike the Poet, And in
Speaker 3: that thing, Mandy and I were going back and forth.
Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, but you can't do this type of
Speaker 3: stuff and not be attached, and she's like, yes, you
Speaker 3: can because this is read what I require. So like
Speaker 3: it's it's different because clearly you can't handle it anymore.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're having more emotions, but you also mentioned that
Speaker 1: when y'all started you were overweight. If you guys been
Speaker 1: fucking for fifteen years, especially even putting myself in this position,
Speaker 1: knowing the amount of confidence I have from at thirty
Speaker 1: five than I did at twenty, Like, you're now in
Speaker 1: a place where you've been married, you've had long term
Speaker 1: relationships with other men. You're out of place now where
Speaker 1: you do feel like you can demand a man to
Speaker 1: treat you as more than just sex. And so ironically,
Speaker 1: someone who met you in this low self esteem point
Speaker 1: in your life is now getting a better version of you.
Speaker 1: But unfortunately, you're now wanting to make this relationship different
Speaker 1: than what you signed up for it to be fifteen
Speaker 1: years ago. And so I think you start with those
Speaker 1: questions first. See where he's at with wanting something more
Speaker 1: stable or exclusive with you. Also interesting that you're like,
Speaker 1: I know I can be monogamous, but he's already said
Speaker 1: he can't be. I think you have to really sit
Speaker 1: with the reality if you care about this man this much.
Speaker 2: Could you really be in an exclusive relationship with someone
Speaker 2: that you know is gonna have other partners?
Speaker 3: And on top of that, if you're enjoying having sex,
Speaker 3: another question you need to ask yourself is if we
Speaker 3: didn't get to have a relationship after this, could I
Speaker 3: still enjoy the sex and feel worthy? Like, because that's
Speaker 3: gonna suck if you end up in a situation where
Speaker 3: you keep on fucking on this negga and he's like, yeah,
Speaker 3: I don't want a relationship. Are you gonna be like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, like I have no like, are you
Speaker 3: gonna feel like he other women are better than you
Speaker 3: just because that doesn't work out in the way that
Speaker 3: I mean. Who knows why people end up in relationships,
Speaker 3: but unfortunately sometimes men just put us in a box
Speaker 3: just like we put them in a box.
Speaker 1: We do because there's men because I would never cuff
Speaker 1: dog for a lot if.
Speaker 2: They trying to make me their girlfriend. Like, nah, I'm good.
Speaker 3: I have a fuck buddy that I don't want to
Speaker 3: name in this moment, but you know who I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: I've been fucking on a nigga for years and there's
Speaker 1: so many I'm sorry, I don't know who you're trying.
Speaker 3: So so I've been fucking on a nigga for years
Speaker 3: and it's like, fuck buddy. But also, oh, we care
Speaker 3: about each other. And if when I didn't have a
Speaker 3: boyfriend and something went wrong with my dad or my mom,
Speaker 3: who do I call?
Speaker 2: You call the closes comfort?
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying. But that wasn't necessarily his responsibility.
Speaker 2: That's the other side of the coin here.
Speaker 1: You said you both are currently single and not in
Speaker 1: any sort of relationship, so you're fucking a lot more frequently.
Speaker 2: But what you didn't say is we're hanging out more.
Speaker 2: He's taking me on dates.
Speaker 1: I feel seen he's what I'm opening up with him
Speaker 1: about my traumas. I'm like, you brought up that, y'all
Speaker 1: were just fucking more, which, of course oxytocin.
Speaker 2: And when the dick is good, it makes you think
Speaker 2: you like this guy. I not even like him.
Speaker 1: Is he actually showing up and providing you more than
Speaker 1: an orgasm?
Speaker 2: Take it from me.
Speaker 4: I'm the woman that has clearly said broke dick as
Speaker 4: good as fun.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 3: I don't know about that nigga's money or nothing like that.
Speaker 3: But all I'm saying is when I make the broke
Speaker 3: dick joke, because it is a joke, right.
Speaker 2: I don't want to be an.
Speaker 3: Omask nigga, but I make that joke because broke Dick
Speaker 3: is a clear example of Oh, this isn't someone I
Speaker 3: want to date, but the sex is so good. Now
Speaker 3: I start thinking of other shit, Holy shit, well he
Speaker 3: can do stuff around my house. Oh he's a good
Speaker 3: support system. I just start saying shit because dick be
Speaker 3: that good. That's all it is.
Speaker 4: It's just a joke, right, and it really is a
Speaker 4: joke because I know when.
Speaker 2: Dick is good, it is a prison.
Speaker 1: But not only that, your connection with him being sex
Speaker 1: and you being at a place where you're even considering
Speaker 1: wanting to give him a baby.
Speaker 2: What do those conversations look like?
Speaker 1: And do you want to give him a baby because
Speaker 1: you have these feelings for him and he's been around
Speaker 1: for fifteen years?
Speaker 2: Or do you want another baby? Bro?
Speaker 3: Do you know how often we have sex? I would
Speaker 3: say seventy five percent of me and my man sex.
Speaker 3: We talk about baby making coming to me, Da da
Speaker 3: da da.
Speaker 2: Second we done? Did you pee? Baby?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 2: You got your birth control?
Speaker 4: Okay, Like we gotta talk like bruh, oh my god.
Speaker 3: I remember we were just like having some really deep
Speaker 3: serious sex about love and like we were like just
Speaker 3: manifesting bit she was and tips right face to face,
Speaker 3: breathe it all deep.
Speaker 2: He was like, oh yeah, And I.
Speaker 3: Was like, I know you're gonna get me pregnant and
Speaker 3: ain't gonna make it past that Birchard straw.
Speaker 2: Why is that it's so dumb? I don't know that's
Speaker 2: your child.
Speaker 3: I don't I start talking about babies when it's they
Speaker 3: know better okay, you don't want me to ruin it
Speaker 3: because in the middle, I'll be like, and I'll kill
Speaker 3: your sea baby, but I will ain't no baby here.
Speaker 1: The quickest way to draw my puss you up is
Speaker 1: talking about trying to impregnate me. Nigga, I'm gonna make
Speaker 1: sure not only do you come on my back, but
Speaker 1: you licked that shit up and your kids swim in
Speaker 1: your mouth.
Speaker 2: I ain't even gonna hold you. Don't you start talking
Speaker 2: about no baby making fantasies with me? Fuck? You mean?
Speaker 3: Well, anyway, thanks so much for writing in out and
Speaker 3: start turning around so you can deattach baby, you know.
Speaker 1: And I would say, if you have, as a woman
Speaker 1: with any insecurities and knowing that you're in Maine, if
Speaker 1: you have any doubts about your value in this man's
Speaker 1: life because of your race, you have a lot of
Speaker 1: feelings of unsafety with this man to be thinking about
Speaker 1: pro creating a child with him.
Speaker 2: So I would be weary of even wanting.
Speaker 1: To not only be in a relationship but pro create
Speaker 1: with someone that you have to ask if you're valued
Speaker 1: by them because.
Speaker 2: Of your blackness. Agree, that's not okay? You know what
Speaker 2: to babe?
Speaker 3: Your brain is going so crazy on why it's not
Speaker 3: happening that that's why you're asking questions like that. And
Speaker 3: I'm telling you you need to start dating someone else
Speaker 3: so that he's not the only man.
Speaker 2: In your life.
Speaker 1: But not only that, the dick is good, but this
Speaker 1: man lacks emotional safety for you.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: No, I don't think that this is someone to scramble
Speaker 1: your brain about. It doesn't sound like a man who's
Speaker 1: provided emotional safety to be thinking about locking in with
Speaker 1: him and potentially having his BA.
Speaker 2: That'll be my final.
Speaker 3: Say, get on the apps, do the surrounding stage, honey,
Speaker 3: because I don't know what else to do.
Speaker 2: But I would just say get on the apps.
Speaker 3: Just say you're even engaging and talking to somebody else,
Speaker 3: so he's not your only focus.
Speaker 1: Agree, you could mind you you could date and get
Speaker 1: to know someone and find that emotional connection and just
Speaker 1: fuck this nigga. Fucking somebody while you're dating is great
Speaker 1: because it keeps you from slipping up and fucking someone
Speaker 1: too early.
Speaker 2: That's new, So you could do both things at the
Speaker 2: same time. Okay, Anyway, if.
Speaker 1: You want us to answer your questions and give you
Speaker 1: our advice, then now becomes solicited because you ask make
Speaker 1: sure you email us Decisions pod at gmail dot com again. Also,
Speaker 1: if you didn't know, you can watch the video of
Speaker 1: this over on the Patreon and that's patreon dot com
Speaker 1: right now backslash horrible decisions. Okay, thank you guys so
Speaker 1: much for tuning in to another yged pulls the whole.
Speaker 2: See you A s c O, s.
Speaker 3: C U S.
Speaker 4: What's crazy?
Speaker 2: See us is crazy? Do you have people? I'm fun
Speaker 2: at the beginning. See you asked C. Y Bye
Speaker 1: M.