1 00:00:01,840 --> 00:00:04,600 Speaker 1: All right, let's get into our kick of the week, y'all. 2 00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:08,119 Speaker 1: We are going to do the A, B C's of 3 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:14,000 Speaker 1: Mother Earth. I looked up these kink slash fetishes that 4 00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:16,840 Speaker 1: I'm like, Damn, I don't know we've ever talked about it, 5 00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:19,520 Speaker 1: because what the fuck? So the first one, and I 6 00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:21,279 Speaker 1: want you all to guess what y'all think, It is 7 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:27,280 Speaker 1: based on Latin roots and shit. So actorasty fetish. What 8 00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:32,000 Speaker 1: do you think that means? Actorasty? And I don't know 9 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:33,479 Speaker 1: if I'm saying it right, but that's how it spelled. 10 00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:40,480 Speaker 1: Act I are a s t y actorasty fetish, all right, y'all. 11 00:00:40,479 --> 00:00:41,360 Speaker 2: HOST don't know. 12 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:45,159 Speaker 1: So it is the sexual fetish known when someone is 13 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:49,360 Speaker 1: aroused by the rays of the sun. Therefore, someone with 14 00:00:49,479 --> 00:00:53,400 Speaker 1: this fetish would love being intimate outdoors or under a 15 00:00:53,479 --> 00:00:55,840 Speaker 1: large window on a sunny afternoon. 16 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:59,040 Speaker 2: What is the sun connected to acting? I don't know. 17 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:01,120 Speaker 2: I just thought y'all might know. Let and roots. 18 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:04,319 Speaker 1: I don't know this next one though, mind you, the 19 00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:07,520 Speaker 1: other egg the other a one was way too easy. 20 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:08,400 Speaker 2: Y'all would have got it. 21 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:13,800 Speaker 1: Aquaphilia, okay, fucking in the water aqua you know, all right, 22 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:17,520 Speaker 1: So this next one bronzophilia. 23 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:20,800 Speaker 2: And this has nothing to do with lebron. 24 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:30,560 Speaker 1: Ja damn tough bronzophilia. This actually I think I'm a bronxophiliac. 25 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:32,600 Speaker 1: I don't know if that's the word, but this is me. 26 00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:38,080 Speaker 1: So Bronsophilia is the fetish when someone gets extremely aroused 27 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:39,399 Speaker 1: by thunderstorms. 28 00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:40,520 Speaker 2: What the fun? 29 00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:42,800 Speaker 1: Yes, Oh, I ain't gonna hold you, okay, but I 30 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:46,240 Speaker 1: bet the way I'm the way I rub my plussy 31 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:48,600 Speaker 1: when it's raining, I'd be like, oh my god, time 32 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:50,840 Speaker 1: to like go play with myself. When I hear that 33 00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:53,920 Speaker 1: goddamn rain and thunder, my whole body shuts down and 34 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:54,840 Speaker 1: I just get horny. 35 00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:57,520 Speaker 3: Why because your body knows there's nothing else you can 36 00:01:57,560 --> 00:02:02,040 Speaker 3: do right now? You can't, Bro, you know what I 37 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:05,240 Speaker 3: just said. So I went to Mexico to get this 38 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:09,280 Speaker 3: dental shit done. Long story short, one of the days 39 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:11,840 Speaker 3: it was crazy thunder. So my nigga wakes up and 40 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:13,720 Speaker 3: he's like, damn that sucks. 41 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:17,280 Speaker 4: And I was like, bro, we're on vacation to do. 42 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:21,160 Speaker 3: Nothing and now actually in the best place. So we 43 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:23,680 Speaker 3: come outside and it's all inclusive award and you can 44 00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:25,480 Speaker 3: tell they stress and they'll know what activities to do 45 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:28,320 Speaker 3: for people. They were like, sawty, you know you guys 46 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:30,520 Speaker 3: having a good day. I'm like, you're having a nigga. 47 00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:32,800 Speaker 3: I had that sex blaze on my face, you know what. 48 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:33,720 Speaker 2: The little dried up. 49 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:35,760 Speaker 3: Coming looked a little white. It looked like I had 50 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:39,320 Speaker 3: some eggs of a flakes, just seemen. I love when 51 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:43,000 Speaker 3: it rings. Give it to me, all right, and now 52 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:46,000 Speaker 3: first seek. Let's see if y'all can get this. This 53 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:47,040 Speaker 3: one was strange. 54 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:52,320 Speaker 2: Chasmophilia, by the way, has something to do avoid you. 55 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:55,280 Speaker 2: It's all about mother Earth. Oh. 56 00:02:56,320 --> 00:03:00,120 Speaker 1: Chasmophilia, by the way, I love that. There's kinks that 57 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:01,880 Speaker 1: we still don't know that I saw and I was like, 58 00:03:01,919 --> 00:03:03,520 Speaker 1: what the fuck? I don't think we ever talked about it. 59 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:08,480 Speaker 2: Close? What did you say? No, we was closer. 60 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:12,280 Speaker 3: I'm thinking of something like feeling the ground, like grounding close. 61 00:03:12,919 --> 00:03:17,040 Speaker 3: Child Maphilia is an unusual and interesting fetish. What it 62 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:22,120 Speaker 3: means is that one is aroused by crevices, caverns, and valleys. 63 00:03:22,639 --> 00:03:25,200 Speaker 4: Oh wow, okay, literally maybe. 64 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:27,000 Speaker 1: A bitch one, which, to be fair, I did fucking 65 00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:32,320 Speaker 1: a cave in in in Jamaica. Now I don't I 66 00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:34,400 Speaker 1: haven't been to Green Canyon yet, so I don't know 67 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:36,480 Speaker 1: if my mind would be turned on by wanting to 68 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:38,240 Speaker 1: fuck in the can were. 69 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:41,119 Speaker 4: Other people in the like how big is the cave? 70 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:41,800 Speaker 2: Like the cakes? 71 00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:43,840 Speaker 1: The cave is like the sides of this room that 72 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:46,840 Speaker 1: we're in, and there was a waterfall like blocking it. 73 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:49,960 Speaker 1: So it's a really dark cave the waterfalls coming down 74 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:53,160 Speaker 1: and we have we we know, no bad. We were 75 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:54,800 Speaker 1: the only ones in it. It's like a man made one. 76 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:55,600 Speaker 1: It was at the Nude Poole. 77 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:58,520 Speaker 3: Oh, it was like a fake cave cave, but it 78 00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,400 Speaker 3: was given cave no because like you know, when you 79 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:02,680 Speaker 3: go on vacation you start walking with the bull shoes. 80 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:04,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, no, no, no, not giving that care. 81 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:06,360 Speaker 1: It was given a cave in a pool, like. 82 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:09,800 Speaker 2: A belt cave. All right. 83 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:14,720 Speaker 1: So for the Hoda, this is one I found online 84 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:18,239 Speaker 1: and I was like, never thought of it this way. 85 00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:24,920 Speaker 1: This is called tactile exploration. So this is when and 86 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,960 Speaker 1: this is a real vanilla tip by. 87 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:27,559 Speaker 2: The way, for y'all. 88 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:29,880 Speaker 1: So when I read it, I was like, oh, I 89 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:32,719 Speaker 1: never thought about that, but yes, this is great because 90 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:34,600 Speaker 1: I feel it when I'm in other people's bed. So 91 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:40,680 Speaker 1: tactile exploration is the introduction of very textures in the 92 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:41,799 Speaker 1: bedroom where. 93 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:42,359 Speaker 2: You would have sex. 94 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:45,080 Speaker 1: So you could either do this through bedding, you could 95 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:48,240 Speaker 1: do it through clothing or even accessories. 96 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:52,640 Speaker 2: So for example, silk sheets I ain't gonna hold you. 97 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:55,560 Speaker 1: Gives a way different thing, a way different feeling when 98 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:58,480 Speaker 1: you're having sex on your body, like silk sheets. I 99 00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:00,200 Speaker 1: had a nigga with silk sheets, and I was like, 100 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:03,200 Speaker 1: this nigga is a whore because it felt like I 101 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:05,039 Speaker 1: just knew. I said, oh, you have to be a slut. 102 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:08,000 Speaker 1: First off, what nigga has silk sheets? But also it 103 00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:09,640 Speaker 1: made me feel like, why the fuck don't I have 104 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:13,719 Speaker 1: silk sheets? Because silk sheets ate on your body like 105 00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:15,640 Speaker 1: you slide a little bit more and you don't feel 106 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:18,640 Speaker 1: like mind you, it just doesn't feel as rough. 107 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:20,279 Speaker 2: But also it's cold. 108 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:23,120 Speaker 3: I'm like wondering right now if those silk shit sheet 109 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:25,920 Speaker 3: things was recent, right, somebody listening. 110 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:26,680 Speaker 2: To this like hold on. 111 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:33,960 Speaker 1: Bruh silk sheets. I was like, oh, I need. 112 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:37,440 Speaker 3: I've actually thought men were horries for having silk filler pastes, 113 00:05:38,279 --> 00:05:38,840 Speaker 3: because well. 114 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:43,960 Speaker 1: That's well unless he got dreads or hair than it 115 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:46,440 Speaker 1: is for him if he got braids or dreads. I'm 116 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,920 Speaker 1: not even thinking it's for a bitch. I'm thinking this 117 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,400 Speaker 1: nigga cares about his locks. 118 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:53,000 Speaker 2: I say they do. Okay. 119 00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:57,200 Speaker 1: Another way to incorporate this is with temperature play, so 120 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:01,640 Speaker 1: warmed or cooled objects to stimulate nerve endings. Now, this 121 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:04,200 Speaker 1: is the tip that I found so interesting because I 122 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:05,000 Speaker 1: never thought about it. 123 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:08,279 Speaker 2: Oh she did do that, didn't she. 124 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:12,880 Speaker 1: So a cool tip for this would be for those 125 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:17,920 Speaker 1: of you with loube Now, yes, sometimes you just keep 126 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:21,919 Speaker 1: it in your jaw, you keep it around. Well, the 127 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,800 Speaker 1: tip is to actually place one of your loubs in 128 00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:29,640 Speaker 1: the fridge. Place them in the fridge, and it says, 129 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:33,920 Speaker 1: instead of just applying it to your genitals, this could 130 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:36,560 Speaker 1: be a fun way for you to incorporate a cold 131 00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:39,520 Speaker 1: sensation all over the body. Okay, so maybe just massage 132 00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:42,039 Speaker 1: oil in the fridge. Well, it's that astro glad liquid 133 00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:42,760 Speaker 1: in the fridge. 134 00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:46,360 Speaker 3: But I wonder I accidentally massaged my nigga with loub 135 00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:49,320 Speaker 3: once instead of oh shit, because. 136 00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:50,800 Speaker 2: It's just dark and I was about to ask you 137 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:54,080 Speaker 2: what it does get a little thick after a while. 138 00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:56,279 Speaker 3: Okay, we just did this whole play and it was 139 00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:59,920 Speaker 3: so dumb. It was only three days ago, but basically 140 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:03,480 Speaker 3: he got out the shower. Yeah, I think he told 141 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:05,440 Speaker 3: me he wanted to do more role play while we 142 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:05,839 Speaker 3: were at dinner. 143 00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:07,200 Speaker 4: I'm like, is there anything you want? 144 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:09,160 Speaker 3: It was the part of that conversation I was saying 145 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:11,560 Speaker 3: on our last episode, is there anything you want? And 146 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:14,280 Speaker 3: he was like, I just don't want nose Like I 147 00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:16,600 Speaker 3: want us to do weird shit to each other's bodies, 148 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:19,280 Speaker 3: like I want everykay to feel like a yes all 149 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:19,760 Speaker 3: the time. 150 00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:21,600 Speaker 2: And I'm like okay. 151 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:25,120 Speaker 3: So I got out the shower and he was laying 152 00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:28,160 Speaker 3: down on a towel. I think he was like loationing 153 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:30,600 Speaker 3: up after his shower, and so I got out in 154 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:34,160 Speaker 3: heels and panties and I was like, sir, thank you 155 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:36,800 Speaker 3: so much for coming to the student massage back you 156 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:39,640 Speaker 3: hope I do well. I might mess up, but I'm 157 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:41,040 Speaker 3: hoping that I can please you. 158 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:43,360 Speaker 2: Look at you with this bitch. 159 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,640 Speaker 1: So I laid him down and I put the towel 160 00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:49,440 Speaker 1: over his eyes, and I turned the lights down because 161 00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:52,240 Speaker 1: for some reason, for me, I get nervous when the 162 00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:58,680 Speaker 1: lights are right. Okay, I'm just like, bro, you got it. 163 00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:00,960 Speaker 3: Instead, also like I got that I want scarf from 164 00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:01,960 Speaker 3: when I got bucked up, you. 165 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:02,520 Speaker 2: Know what I'm saying. 166 00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:04,960 Speaker 3: I got green on my knee from the bruise, Like 167 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,480 Speaker 3: it's too much, so I turned the light down. Now 168 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:09,720 Speaker 3: I can't see lub or oil and they kind of 169 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,880 Speaker 3: you know, and they do different things. Once it went 170 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:17,960 Speaker 3: on his body, I knew it wasn't vitamin E and 171 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:20,200 Speaker 3: I started to feel how thick it was, and the 172 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:23,320 Speaker 3: nigga got hair, so it was but you know, I 173 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:26,000 Speaker 3: was still at it. Also, he was like really good 174 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:28,320 Speaker 3: of an actor, too good, And it started to make 175 00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:31,880 Speaker 3: me laugh because what was he acting like? I was like, 176 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:34,200 Speaker 3: he was like, I'm not there, not there right, like 177 00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:37,320 Speaker 3: basically saying I wasn't doing anything. I was like, is 178 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:39,360 Speaker 3: this better? So I started sucking stick and he's like, 179 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:41,640 Speaker 3: my wife doesn't let me do that. 180 00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:47,280 Speaker 1: You just got a little taste of the Horrible Decisions Patreon, 181 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:50,079 Speaker 1: But why it's up there. Tap in for the full, 182 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:54,040 Speaker 1: uncut and way naster episodes over on Patreon. Go to 183 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:58,800 Speaker 1: patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions and unlike all the messy, 184 00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:04,000 Speaker 1: t wild story and bonus content, you won't hear anywhere else, 185 00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:06,720 Speaker 1: And now here's You've got Decisions. 186 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:09,960 Speaker 3: If you would like to have us answer your questions. 187 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:13,440 Speaker 3: If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or 188 00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:18,760 Speaker 3: a terrible throuffle, guess what you've got decisions. 189 00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:24,280 Speaker 2: Welcome to another You got decision? Hey, everybody, we're virtual 190 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:26,959 Speaker 2: right now. I'm in one place, she's in one place. 191 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:33,160 Speaker 2: Just call this an l d are what longest his relationship? 192 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:38,080 Speaker 1: We got to work on our freestyling, like it just 193 00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:43,760 Speaker 1: it just doesn't really hit Oh my god, restart Like no, 194 00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:45,000 Speaker 1: we're not restarting vision. 195 00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:47,600 Speaker 2: We're keeping this in. But then we might need. 196 00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:54,840 Speaker 1: To start like you knows, Hey, if any of y'all 197 00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:57,720 Speaker 1: are giving Quincy Miller and want to come ghost write 198 00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:01,400 Speaker 1: us a few wild intros, hey hit us up in 199 00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:01,959 Speaker 1: the email. 200 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:03,520 Speaker 4: Is that the Drake ghostwriter guy? 201 00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:06,960 Speaker 2: And is bitch? And is more? 202 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:10,600 Speaker 1: I think it's Quentin Quincy Miller. I think was a ballplayer. 203 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:14,560 Speaker 1: I think it's Quenton Miller. It's a cute start the 204 00:10:14,559 --> 00:10:18,360 Speaker 1: ball player. Yeah, that was a ballplayer yesterday. 205 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:21,240 Speaker 3: And it was so shocking to me because it's been 206 00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:24,800 Speaker 3: so long, and I was like, oh, you're trying to 207 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:25,160 Speaker 3: funk me. 208 00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:30,719 Speaker 2: Was he was he of young age or of seasoning? 209 00:10:31,559 --> 00:10:32,200 Speaker 2: Good question? 210 00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:37,000 Speaker 3: What kind of trick was he you ask? Wow, I 211 00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:40,200 Speaker 3: was at the Tesla charging station. Okay, he can on 212 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:44,000 Speaker 3: the phone, and I guess you can kind of hear, 213 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:46,120 Speaker 3: and you know, my speaker turned off. I would like, bitch, 214 00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:49,000 Speaker 3: and what did nigga was saying? Oh, your speaker always 215 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:49,400 Speaker 3: turned up? 216 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:53,040 Speaker 1: You like embarrassing bitches while they tell people, Oh. 217 00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:53,360 Speaker 2: You're right. 218 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:57,000 Speaker 3: Well, this particular conversation, me and my homegirl was talking 219 00:10:57,000 --> 00:11:00,240 Speaker 3: about how this nigga uh was trying to talk her 220 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:02,120 Speaker 3: and her homegirl She's like, whatever, I'm a trick on, 221 00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:03,559 Speaker 3: Like we both do trick on a nigga. 222 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:07,720 Speaker 4: So boom, I get out to unplug my car. He 223 00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:11,240 Speaker 4: was like, y'all ruthless. 224 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:13,600 Speaker 3: So I actually don't know what he's talking about because 225 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:17,920 Speaker 3: I don't realize he was hearing the conversation. So I'm like, huh, 226 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:19,880 Speaker 3: and he was like, I'm just playing with you. He's like, which, 227 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:21,719 Speaker 3: I couldn't hear what you was saying? What kind of 228 00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:24,280 Speaker 3: advice you was trying to give? He was like, damn 229 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:26,079 Speaker 3: women women crazy nowadays. 230 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:26,679 Speaker 2: Huh. 231 00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:29,480 Speaker 4: He's like, I ain't been out, Oh I'm in the. 232 00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:30,199 Speaker 2: Game in a while. 233 00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:34,079 Speaker 3: And I was like, so he was older, Okay, okay. 234 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:36,120 Speaker 3: So I'm about to get in the car. He's like, wait, wait, wait, wait, 235 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:39,200 Speaker 3: wait where you where are you running to? I was like, 236 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:41,160 Speaker 3: to my home. 237 00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:44,560 Speaker 2: You should have said to my man, my man, my man, 238 00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:47,800 Speaker 2: do you see this hand? This is what I'm gonna do. 239 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:50,120 Speaker 3: I'm just playing, I always say, but I'm gonna start 240 00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:51,120 Speaker 3: doing it till I get married. 241 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:52,000 Speaker 2: Do you see this hand? 242 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:57,400 Speaker 3: So uh, he immediately said when he said you running 243 00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:58,640 Speaker 3: at home, you must got a man at home. 244 00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:00,600 Speaker 2: I was like, I do he ain't got a wife 245 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:03,000 Speaker 2: at home? And he was like no. 246 00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:05,680 Speaker 3: And all I could think is not in this home 247 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:08,840 Speaker 3: that I'm sitting now, not in this particular home. So 248 00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:10,920 Speaker 3: as I'm about to get in a car, He's like, well, 249 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:15,480 Speaker 3: I charged my car probably every other night, so I'll 250 00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:17,040 Speaker 3: see you again if you coming this time. 251 00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:23,839 Speaker 1: What that was it? That was the pickup line? I said, 252 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:27,240 Speaker 1: thanks so much. Okay, that's given overseas player. I need 253 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:29,120 Speaker 1: to know who it was if you know the name, 254 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:29,880 Speaker 1: because you know, I know. 255 00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:34,400 Speaker 2: Was the Tesla truck. So it just gave little dick. 256 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:37,959 Speaker 2: I need a big car. Whoa Tesla truck gives a 257 00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:38,640 Speaker 2: little dick? Now? 258 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:43,079 Speaker 1: Word, you know, I'm telling Alex on you. I'm telling Alex, 259 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:46,760 Speaker 1: I'm telling Alex. You're talking about him on the pod. 260 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:51,080 Speaker 2: I wasn't talking about Alix, but he got a Tesla truck. 261 00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:53,960 Speaker 4: Okay, because I do be judging niggas with the Tesla truck. 262 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:55,840 Speaker 4: You can't see it, don't you be like, uh. 263 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,080 Speaker 2: Tell me you don't do that. I don't mind it. 264 00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:02,760 Speaker 2: I think it's kind of robotic. It just it. It 265 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:06,600 Speaker 2: made me think that they're into conspiracy theories and might 266 00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:07,640 Speaker 2: have a robot at home. 267 00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:11,960 Speaker 3: LEXP would like to speak, because the nigga came back 268 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:15,160 Speaker 3: that slaby, then motherfucker's be scruggling. 269 00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:17,360 Speaker 4: I'd be seeing the Tesla truck go around and around 270 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:19,600 Speaker 4: and around and around trying to look for parallel parking. 271 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:24,839 Speaker 1: Hell no, I mean, well, here in Atlanta there's parking spaces, 272 00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:31,880 Speaker 1: so now it is, or here in Atlanta you could 273 00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:35,959 Speaker 1: pretty much pay twenty to sixty dollars to ballet everywhere. 274 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:38,760 Speaker 1: Like everywhere you go and pull up to in Atlanta 275 00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:40,720 Speaker 1: got vallet. But you can ballet at the mall. 276 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:41,240 Speaker 2: You know. 277 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:44,120 Speaker 3: I tried to do a little fucking nice act that 278 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:45,800 Speaker 3: I went on a date with a niggain in Atlanta. 279 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:47,080 Speaker 2: It was very short lived. 280 00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:50,880 Speaker 3: Right when I broke up with o Bed and I 281 00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:52,760 Speaker 3: remember when we pulled up to the spot. 282 00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:53,240 Speaker 2: He was like. 283 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,040 Speaker 4: I was like, I could take care of Vallet. He 284 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:57,200 Speaker 4: looked at me like that was cute. 285 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:01,280 Speaker 2: Love and drog dealer tell me what I do? 286 00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:04,520 Speaker 4: Oh my god, I'm on my pomcast. 287 00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:06,679 Speaker 2: Okay go, I'm we all right. 288 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:10,160 Speaker 1: Well, y'all, this is gonna be an interesting one today. 289 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:11,360 Speaker 2: Again. 290 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:13,880 Speaker 1: If you have a letter where you want me and Weezy, 291 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:17,680 Speaker 1: who are not experts at anything, probably accept podcasting to 292 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:22,280 Speaker 1: give you advice. Email us at decisions pod at gmail 293 00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:26,520 Speaker 1: dot com. This week, one of our listeners wants to know, 294 00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:28,720 Speaker 1: is it because I'm black? 295 00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:33,760 Speaker 2: Let's get it to it. First off, I'm a huge fan. 296 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:36,600 Speaker 1: Big shout out to you sisters for always making me 297 00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:40,720 Speaker 1: feel seen and validated as a multifaceted and sexually. 298 00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:43,200 Speaker 2: Liberated black female background. 299 00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:46,120 Speaker 1: I'm a black girl living in Maine, so it can 300 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:49,880 Speaker 1: feel very isolating not having girlfriends and my folks in 301 00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:52,960 Speaker 1: close proximity to be able to have these more intimate 302 00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:56,600 Speaker 1: and sometimes embarrassing combos. So I'm a faithful listener to 303 00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:58,440 Speaker 1: the show and love being able to relate to the 304 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:03,040 Speaker 1: concerns guests makes me feel like I'm not the only 305 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:05,960 Speaker 1: one in her head sometimes, and I finally felt like 306 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,040 Speaker 1: I needed to write in for a bit of advice. 307 00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:10,080 Speaker 3: I also want to just say I googled the black 308 00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:13,720 Speaker 3: population in the state of Maine one point eight to 309 00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:15,080 Speaker 3: two and a half percent. 310 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:20,840 Speaker 1: Ooh girl, I'm gonna just guess yes, because it's because 311 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:21,280 Speaker 1: you're black. 312 00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:29,960 Speaker 2: Right before we even read the rock. So here we go. 313 00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:33,440 Speaker 1: So I have been having sex with a Hispanic gentleman 314 00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:36,120 Speaker 1: for over fifteen years. 315 00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:41,560 Speaker 2: Damn girl, this is a situation. Sit not that pingos 316 00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:42,080 Speaker 2: that bueno. 317 00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:46,120 Speaker 1: Okay, so this might not be the problem we thought. 318 00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:49,280 Speaker 1: It's not even a white all right. We've never taken 319 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:54,560 Speaker 1: anything beyond the physical. However, when we got together, I 320 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:58,560 Speaker 1: was significantly overweight at the time, so my confidence didn't 321 00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:02,040 Speaker 1: pursue seriously, and I never really felt like it was 322 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:05,320 Speaker 1: anything to be taken serious. I was just grateful for 323 00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:07,960 Speaker 1: a good time and somebody who saw the same thing 324 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:08,360 Speaker 1: in me. 325 00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:10,280 Speaker 2: Oh girl, I've been there. 326 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:15,920 Speaker 1: We never dated, just met as mutual friends in the home, 327 00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:20,320 Speaker 1: and we were young, horny kids that fell in lust. 328 00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:25,280 Speaker 1: Fast fast forward. He's always around on the back burner. 329 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:29,040 Speaker 1: If I call him, he comes faithfully. Now, I was 330 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:32,960 Speaker 1: married in twenty twelve and don't play about loyalty, so 331 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:37,040 Speaker 1: whenever relationships I've had became serious, I would be honest 332 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:41,200 Speaker 1: and cut him loose. In that marriage, I had one child, 333 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:45,240 Speaker 1: and when that relationship ended, I reached out to him first. 334 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:49,360 Speaker 1: Over the years, I've had a few other long and 335 00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:54,080 Speaker 1: serious relationships, all that have ended, and him too. His 336 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:58,040 Speaker 1: child was born shortly after mine. When we reconnected after 337 00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:01,040 Speaker 1: ending our relationships, he told me at least twice during 338 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:05,000 Speaker 1: intercourse I should have had his child, though I don't 339 00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:07,159 Speaker 1: know if he means it or just does it to 340 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:11,480 Speaker 1: be more aroused. But he's never tried, even with me 341 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:14,920 Speaker 1: crying out to come in me once by a sheer accident. 342 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:19,600 Speaker 1: The sex is just so passionate and intense. I've never 343 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:21,520 Speaker 1: had someone satisfy. 344 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:21,680 Speaker 2: Me like that. 345 00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:26,719 Speaker 1: His dick literally feels made for me, and he always comes, 346 00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:28,120 Speaker 1: no matter the location. 347 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:31,400 Speaker 2: Time he responds and lets me. 348 00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:34,199 Speaker 3: Know he wants me to time like hey, Pussy's sister. 349 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:37,600 Speaker 1: If he's out of sound, he lets me know I'm 350 00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:41,120 Speaker 1: a priority when he gets back. Now, when we started fucking, 351 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:44,200 Speaker 1: we were in our late teens early twenties. So when 352 00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:46,639 Speaker 1: I got married, he slept with a friend of mine. 353 00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:50,360 Speaker 1: Crazy part is he told me not her. 354 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:52,119 Speaker 2: I hit him up. 355 00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:55,119 Speaker 1: When my divorce closed, he came over and let me 356 00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:58,520 Speaker 1: know what happened before we fused, which I appreciate because 357 00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:00,679 Speaker 1: it allowed me to choose if I still wanted him. 358 00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:04,800 Speaker 1: And years later, girl, and years later, when he was 359 00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:07,480 Speaker 1: in a relationship, I messed with someone who I later 360 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:09,840 Speaker 1: found out was a friend to him. Do either of 361 00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:12,520 Speaker 1: us still talk to those outside people? Nor was it 362 00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:14,800 Speaker 1: anything but once on each end? 363 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:16,920 Speaker 2: But here's my dilemma. Here we go. 364 00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:21,000 Speaker 1: When we have sex, it's the best I've ever had. 365 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:24,080 Speaker 1: He takes good care of me, and I like to 366 00:18:24,119 --> 00:18:28,359 Speaker 1: think vice versa. Right now, we are both not in relationships, 367 00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:31,959 Speaker 1: so we fuck a few times a month, no condoms, 368 00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:35,159 Speaker 1: but I trust him. I've never had him not be 369 00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:38,720 Speaker 1: honest about if we should wrap up as a precaution. 370 00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:42,359 Speaker 1: The last year or so, the sex has changed and 371 00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:47,040 Speaker 1: became even more intimate or always, but no more crazy 372 00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:50,200 Speaker 1: from the back hair pulling. He wants me on my back, 373 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:54,960 Speaker 1: kisses me passionately, slow grinds in me, watches my face 374 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,320 Speaker 1: expressions bites me when I growl. 375 00:18:57,640 --> 00:18:58,440 Speaker 2: He's focused. 376 00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:02,280 Speaker 1: Sometimes I myself dreaming of taking it to another level 377 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:05,199 Speaker 1: because it's so good. He says little things to me 378 00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:10,159 Speaker 1: like he knows he can't be faithful. He likes attention 379 00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:12,760 Speaker 1: and shit and I do too, But I hate reducing 380 00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:15,800 Speaker 1: what we have to just fuck buddies because it does 381 00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:20,240 Speaker 1: feel like more to me. I don't want to like him, 382 00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:23,840 Speaker 1: but I genuinely like who he's been to me, honest, 383 00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:28,000 Speaker 1: raw and genuine. If not fucking get out, Oh it's 384 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:31,200 Speaker 1: not fucking get out, it's nice combos sex. 385 00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:32,160 Speaker 2: And the genuine connection. 386 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,680 Speaker 1: I am older now and no, I can't change who 387 00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:38,240 Speaker 1: he is, and I'm not looking for a relationship, but 388 00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:42,000 Speaker 1: I'm in deep. Am I wasting myself by just enjoying 389 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:45,280 Speaker 1: him when I do have him? I don't want sex 390 00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:48,439 Speaker 1: with anyone else, but I'm sure he does and I 391 00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:49,080 Speaker 1: don't mind. 392 00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:54,120 Speaker 2: And is it because I'm black? His baby mama is Hispanic? 393 00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:57,720 Speaker 1: And I've always wondered if citing a black girl is 394 00:19:57,760 --> 00:20:01,879 Speaker 1: the problem, if citing a black girl's apot, I don't know. 395 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:04,840 Speaker 1: Not a lot of options amain like that, but I 396 00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:08,199 Speaker 1: do try to date. I just feel pointless when physically 397 00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:11,800 Speaker 1: I feel like that's where I want to be, and 398 00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:13,800 Speaker 1: I'm getting older, and I feel like neither of us 399 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,919 Speaker 1: want to start again our children are older. But I 400 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:19,840 Speaker 1: would for him because I feel like it wouldn't be hard. 401 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:22,280 Speaker 1: But I'm also feeling weird bringing it up. 402 00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:24,640 Speaker 2: If it was just sex, I. 403 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:26,879 Speaker 1: Only have a few years to even have this combo, 404 00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:29,240 Speaker 1: so I don't want to miss the window of what 405 00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:31,600 Speaker 1: could be real, but don't want to sound stupid if 406 00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:36,120 Speaker 1: I'm overthinking. So please I need big sens advice as 407 00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:40,480 Speaker 1: keeping it up or am I wasting time? Thank you tremendously. 408 00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:44,080 Speaker 4: My initial thoughts were not because she was black at all. 409 00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:48,440 Speaker 1: My initial thoughts were what other conversations have been had? 410 00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,919 Speaker 1: How what do all his other partners look like that 411 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:55,639 Speaker 1: you're aware of that You're thinking that your blackness is 412 00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:59,959 Speaker 1: the issue. So if there have been maybe comments made 413 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:03,520 Speaker 1: aid that you took in jest, or if everyone else 414 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:06,440 Speaker 1: he's slept it with didn't look like you, I could 415 00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:11,000 Speaker 1: see why you feel maybe fetishized to where sex is 416 00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:13,760 Speaker 1: only as far as he'll go with you. Because he's 417 00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:17,840 Speaker 1: clearly gotten into other long term relationships and have had 418 00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:21,520 Speaker 1: children by other women of other colors, So I get 419 00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:24,080 Speaker 1: maybe she could be in her head about it, but 420 00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:26,280 Speaker 1: I'm wondering where that question came from. 421 00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:30,720 Speaker 3: Honey, I can't tell you how many situationships my homegirls 422 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:35,480 Speaker 3: have been in my I've been in. Random shit's gone on, confusion, 423 00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:38,320 Speaker 3: and it's not because of race. Like when a nigga 424 00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:40,879 Speaker 3: wants you, they want you. Now, I'm not saying that 425 00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:43,639 Speaker 3: you're someone that's undesirable, but this is what I do believe. 426 00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:49,240 Speaker 3: If you've been fucking him for fifteen years, that's a 427 00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:53,840 Speaker 3: long time. There is a comfort there with the sex 428 00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:56,520 Speaker 3: that I don't know if he want to ruin. 429 00:21:57,880 --> 00:21:59,919 Speaker 2: However, at this point, oh go go. 430 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:04,920 Speaker 1: As a woman who is fucked on niggas for ten 431 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:09,399 Speaker 1: plus years, just because they have that comfortable fuck relationship 432 00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:14,240 Speaker 1: with you doesn't mean they'll want an exclusive relationship with you. 433 00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:16,120 Speaker 2: And now it's only getting better. 434 00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:19,960 Speaker 3: Also, you got to remember, because you know each other better, 435 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:22,439 Speaker 3: you're maybe you're having more consistent sex than you have 436 00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:24,480 Speaker 3: in the past. Like you said, now it's five times 437 00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:27,280 Speaker 3: a month, opposed to like y'all dropping off a little bit, 438 00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:29,879 Speaker 3: like if I'm fucking a nigga every single week. 439 00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:32,159 Speaker 4: Of course, you're going to get better and better and 440 00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:32,879 Speaker 4: better and better. 441 00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:39,720 Speaker 3: Right, So you're mistaking the increase in intimacy for an 442 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:45,280 Speaker 3: increase in romance and love. And I think that's kind 443 00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:49,919 Speaker 3: of where fuck buddies it becomes difficult because you're like, 444 00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,000 Speaker 3: how could this person just be a fuck buddy? 445 00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:52,480 Speaker 2: Oh? 446 00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:54,920 Speaker 3: Well they are And this is the do you w 447 00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:57,720 Speaker 3: W we get an episode with is this name Mike? 448 00:22:57,760 --> 00:23:01,040 Speaker 3: And we were talking about romance with cash will look 449 00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:04,119 Speaker 3: up Mike the Poet, yep, Mike the Poet, And in 450 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:06,160 Speaker 3: that thing, Mandy and I were going back and forth. 451 00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:07,760 Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, but you can't do this type of 452 00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:09,600 Speaker 3: stuff and not be attached, and she's like, yes, you 453 00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:12,120 Speaker 3: can because this is read what I require. So like 454 00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:15,640 Speaker 3: it's it's different because clearly you can't handle it anymore. 455 00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:21,359 Speaker 1: Yeah, you're having more emotions, but you also mentioned that 456 00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:25,359 Speaker 1: when y'all started you were overweight. If you guys been 457 00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:29,440 Speaker 1: fucking for fifteen years, especially even putting myself in this position, 458 00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:34,000 Speaker 1: knowing the amount of confidence I have from at thirty 459 00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:37,399 Speaker 1: five than I did at twenty, Like, you're now in 460 00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:41,240 Speaker 1: a place where you've been married, you've had long term 461 00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:44,359 Speaker 1: relationships with other men. You're out of place now where 462 00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,439 Speaker 1: you do feel like you can demand a man to 463 00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:50,960 Speaker 1: treat you as more than just sex. And so ironically, 464 00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:54,280 Speaker 1: someone who met you in this low self esteem point 465 00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:57,280 Speaker 1: in your life is now getting a better version of you. 466 00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:01,919 Speaker 1: But unfortunately, you're now wanting to make this relationship different 467 00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:03,719 Speaker 1: than what you signed up for it to be fifteen 468 00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:07,120 Speaker 1: years ago. And so I think you start with those 469 00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:11,680 Speaker 1: questions first. See where he's at with wanting something more 470 00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:15,919 Speaker 1: stable or exclusive with you. Also interesting that you're like, 471 00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:20,480 Speaker 1: I know I can be monogamous, but he's already said 472 00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:24,040 Speaker 1: he can't be. I think you have to really sit 473 00:24:24,119 --> 00:24:27,520 Speaker 1: with the reality if you care about this man this much. 474 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:31,200 Speaker 2: Could you really be in an exclusive relationship with someone 475 00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:33,040 Speaker 2: that you know is gonna have other partners? 476 00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:38,119 Speaker 3: And on top of that, if you're enjoying having sex, 477 00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:43,320 Speaker 3: another question you need to ask yourself is if we 478 00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:46,159 Speaker 3: didn't get to have a relationship after this, could I 479 00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:50,440 Speaker 3: still enjoy the sex and feel worthy? Like, because that's 480 00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:52,800 Speaker 3: gonna suck if you end up in a situation where 481 00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:55,600 Speaker 3: you keep on fucking on this negga and he's like, yeah, 482 00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:57,359 Speaker 3: I don't want a relationship. Are you gonna be like, 483 00:24:57,480 --> 00:24:59,399 Speaker 3: oh my god, like I have no like, are you 484 00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:01,120 Speaker 3: gonna feel like he other women are better than you 485 00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:03,119 Speaker 3: just because that doesn't work out in the way that 486 00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:05,679 Speaker 3: I mean. Who knows why people end up in relationships, 487 00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:08,359 Speaker 3: but unfortunately sometimes men just put us in a box 488 00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:09,800 Speaker 3: just like we put them in a box. 489 00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:12,560 Speaker 1: We do because there's men because I would never cuff 490 00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:15,760 Speaker 1: dog for a lot if. 491 00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:18,040 Speaker 2: They trying to make me their girlfriend. Like, nah, I'm good. 492 00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:19,680 Speaker 3: I have a fuck buddy that I don't want to 493 00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:22,440 Speaker 3: name in this moment, but you know who I'm talking about. 494 00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:26,879 Speaker 1: I've been fucking on a nigga for years and there's 495 00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:29,000 Speaker 1: so many I'm sorry, I don't know who you're trying. 496 00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:33,400 Speaker 3: So so I've been fucking on a nigga for years 497 00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:36,640 Speaker 3: and it's like, fuck buddy. But also, oh, we care 498 00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:38,679 Speaker 3: about each other. And if when I didn't have a 499 00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:42,200 Speaker 3: boyfriend and something went wrong with my dad or my mom, 500 00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:43,080 Speaker 3: who do I call? 501 00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:45,159 Speaker 2: You call the closes comfort? 502 00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:48,840 Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying. But that wasn't necessarily his responsibility. 503 00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:51,840 Speaker 2: That's the other side of the coin here. 504 00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:55,840 Speaker 1: You said you both are currently single and not in 505 00:25:56,040 --> 00:26:01,119 Speaker 1: any sort of relationship, so you're fucking a lot more frequently. 506 00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:04,960 Speaker 2: But what you didn't say is we're hanging out more. 507 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:06,919 Speaker 2: He's taking me on dates. 508 00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:11,080 Speaker 1: I feel seen he's what I'm opening up with him 509 00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:14,359 Speaker 1: about my traumas. I'm like, you brought up that, y'all 510 00:26:14,359 --> 00:26:18,080 Speaker 1: were just fucking more, which, of course oxytocin. 511 00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:20,440 Speaker 2: And when the dick is good, it makes you think 512 00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:25,480 Speaker 2: you like this guy. I not even like him. 513 00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:29,080 Speaker 1: Is he actually showing up and providing you more than 514 00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:29,800 Speaker 1: an orgasm? 515 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:30,760 Speaker 2: Take it from me. 516 00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:36,359 Speaker 4: I'm the woman that has clearly said broke dick as 517 00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:36,880 Speaker 4: good as fun. 518 00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:37,239 Speaker 2: Now. 519 00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:39,040 Speaker 3: I don't know about that nigga's money or nothing like that. 520 00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:41,600 Speaker 3: But all I'm saying is when I make the broke 521 00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:43,399 Speaker 3: dick joke, because it is a joke, right. 522 00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:44,200 Speaker 2: I don't want to be an. 523 00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:48,520 Speaker 3: Omask nigga, but I make that joke because broke Dick 524 00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:53,040 Speaker 3: is a clear example of Oh, this isn't someone I 525 00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:54,639 Speaker 3: want to date, but the sex is so good. Now 526 00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:57,600 Speaker 3: I start thinking of other shit, Holy shit, well he 527 00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:00,400 Speaker 3: can do stuff around my house. Oh he's a good 528 00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:03,879 Speaker 3: support system. I just start saying shit because dick be 529 00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:05,600 Speaker 3: that good. That's all it is. 530 00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:08,280 Speaker 4: It's just a joke, right, and it really is a 531 00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:09,840 Speaker 4: joke because I know when. 532 00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:11,320 Speaker 2: Dick is good, it is a prison. 533 00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:15,199 Speaker 1: But not only that, your connection with him being sex 534 00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:19,000 Speaker 1: and you being at a place where you're even considering 535 00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:21,200 Speaker 1: wanting to give him a baby. 536 00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:24,600 Speaker 2: What do those conversations look like? 537 00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:27,959 Speaker 1: And do you want to give him a baby because 538 00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:30,000 Speaker 1: you have these feelings for him and he's been around 539 00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:30,840 Speaker 1: for fifteen years? 540 00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:33,640 Speaker 2: Or do you want another baby? Bro? 541 00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:37,720 Speaker 3: Do you know how often we have sex? I would 542 00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:40,040 Speaker 3: say seventy five percent of me and my man sex. 543 00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:44,359 Speaker 3: We talk about baby making coming to me, Da da 544 00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:44,679 Speaker 3: da da. 545 00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:47,000 Speaker 2: Second we done? Did you pee? Baby? 546 00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:47,480 Speaker 3: Okay? 547 00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:48,480 Speaker 2: You got your birth control? 548 00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:51,960 Speaker 4: Okay, Like we gotta talk like bruh, oh my god. 549 00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:54,680 Speaker 3: I remember we were just like having some really deep 550 00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:58,240 Speaker 3: serious sex about love and like we were like just 551 00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:00,680 Speaker 3: manifesting bit she was and tips right face to face, 552 00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:01,440 Speaker 3: breathe it all deep. 553 00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:02,720 Speaker 2: He was like, oh yeah, And I. 554 00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:04,199 Speaker 3: Was like, I know you're gonna get me pregnant and 555 00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:05,960 Speaker 3: ain't gonna make it past that Birchard straw. 556 00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:11,640 Speaker 2: Why is that it's so dumb? I don't know that's 557 00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:12,160 Speaker 2: your child. 558 00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:14,920 Speaker 3: I don't I start talking about babies when it's they 559 00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:17,680 Speaker 3: know better okay, you don't want me to ruin it 560 00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:19,280 Speaker 3: because in the middle, I'll be like, and I'll kill 561 00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:23,920 Speaker 3: your sea baby, but I will ain't no baby here. 562 00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:26,399 Speaker 1: The quickest way to draw my puss you up is 563 00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:29,119 Speaker 1: talking about trying to impregnate me. Nigga, I'm gonna make 564 00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:31,679 Speaker 1: sure not only do you come on my back, but 565 00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:34,320 Speaker 1: you licked that shit up and your kids swim in 566 00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:34,800 Speaker 1: your mouth. 567 00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:37,880 Speaker 2: I ain't even gonna hold you. Don't you start talking 568 00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:41,920 Speaker 2: about no baby making fantasies with me? Fuck? You mean? 569 00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:46,280 Speaker 3: Well, anyway, thanks so much for writing in out and 570 00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:49,120 Speaker 3: start turning around so you can deattach baby, you know. 571 00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:53,280 Speaker 1: And I would say, if you have, as a woman 572 00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:57,480 Speaker 1: with any insecurities and knowing that you're in Maine, if 573 00:28:57,520 --> 00:29:03,840 Speaker 1: you have any doubts about your value in this man's 574 00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:07,520 Speaker 1: life because of your race, you have a lot of 575 00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:11,360 Speaker 1: feelings of unsafety with this man to be thinking about 576 00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:13,200 Speaker 1: pro creating a child with him. 577 00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:17,800 Speaker 2: So I would be weary of even wanting. 578 00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:20,360 Speaker 1: To not only be in a relationship but pro create 579 00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:23,400 Speaker 1: with someone that you have to ask if you're valued 580 00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:24,960 Speaker 1: by them because. 581 00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:27,360 Speaker 2: Of your blackness. Agree, that's not okay? You know what 582 00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:28,240 Speaker 2: to babe? 583 00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:30,760 Speaker 3: Your brain is going so crazy on why it's not 584 00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:33,719 Speaker 3: happening that that's why you're asking questions like that. And 585 00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:36,760 Speaker 3: I'm telling you you need to start dating someone else 586 00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:38,600 Speaker 3: so that he's not the only man. 587 00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:38,920 Speaker 2: In your life. 588 00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:42,760 Speaker 1: But not only that, the dick is good, but this 589 00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:45,240 Speaker 1: man lacks emotional safety for you. 590 00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:46,160 Speaker 4: Yeah. 591 00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:50,480 Speaker 1: No, I don't think that this is someone to scramble 592 00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:53,280 Speaker 1: your brain about. It doesn't sound like a man who's 593 00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:58,200 Speaker 1: provided emotional safety to be thinking about locking in with 594 00:29:58,320 --> 00:29:59,920 Speaker 1: him and potentially having his BA. 595 00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:02,080 Speaker 2: That'll be my final. 596 00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:05,600 Speaker 3: Say, get on the apps, do the surrounding stage, honey, 597 00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:06,600 Speaker 3: because I don't know what else to do. 598 00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:07,840 Speaker 2: But I would just say get on the apps. 599 00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:10,200 Speaker 3: Just say you're even engaging and talking to somebody else, 600 00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:11,560 Speaker 3: so he's not your only focus. 601 00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:15,600 Speaker 1: Agree, you could mind you you could date and get 602 00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:18,600 Speaker 1: to know someone and find that emotional connection and just 603 00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:21,400 Speaker 1: fuck this nigga. Fucking somebody while you're dating is great 604 00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:23,680 Speaker 1: because it keeps you from slipping up and fucking someone 605 00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:24,560 Speaker 1: too early. 606 00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:27,680 Speaker 2: That's new, So you could do both things at the 607 00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:30,040 Speaker 2: same time. Okay, Anyway, if. 608 00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:33,680 Speaker 1: You want us to answer your questions and give you 609 00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:38,520 Speaker 1: our advice, then now becomes solicited because you ask make 610 00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:42,440 Speaker 1: sure you email us Decisions pod at gmail dot com again. Also, 611 00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:45,200 Speaker 1: if you didn't know, you can watch the video of 612 00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:49,880 Speaker 1: this over on the Patreon and that's patreon dot com 613 00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:55,720 Speaker 1: right now backslash horrible decisions. Okay, thank you guys so 614 00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:59,080 Speaker 1: much for tuning in to another yged pulls the whole. 615 00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:03,000 Speaker 2: See you A s c O, s. 616 00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:03,000 Speaker 3: C U S. 617 00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:03,600 Speaker 4: What's crazy? 618 00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:06,840 Speaker 2: See us is crazy? Do you have people? I'm fun 619 00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:17,480 Speaker 2: at the beginning. See you asked C. Y Bye 620 00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:19,920 Speaker 1: M.