WEBVTT - Work in Progress: Tony Hale

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, everyone, it's Sophia. Welcome to Work in Progress. Well, hello, Whipsmarties.

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<v Speaker 1>We have someone on the podcast today that I have

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<v Speaker 1>such a talent crush on. I'm geeked that he's here.

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<v Speaker 1>From playing incredibly hilarious characters like Buster Bluth on Arrested

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<v Speaker 1>Development to Gary Walsh on Veep, we are joined today

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<v Speaker 1>by Emmy winner Tony Hale, who is here to talk

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<v Speaker 1>about a pretty profoundly different and deeply personal role that

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<v Speaker 1>he's playing in the fantasy drama feature film Sketch. What

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<v Speaker 1>really struck me about it is the movie exists in

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<v Speaker 1>this fantastical world, Tony's daughter's drawings come to life and

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<v Speaker 1>kind of wek havoc on a town, but they wind

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<v Speaker 1>up bringing the family closer together. And Tony isn't just

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<v Speaker 1>the star of Sketch, the great dad on screen. He

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<v Speaker 1>was a driving force behind the scenes, co producing this

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<v Speaker 1>movie and fighting for eight years to get it made.

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<v Speaker 1>Today we're going to talk about that journey, how you

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<v Speaker 1>really stay loyal to your creativity and your hunches about

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<v Speaker 1>what you want to do, His journey as a performer,

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<v Speaker 1>as an anxious person, as a father. Tony is so

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<v Speaker 1>self reflective and authentic and funny and just genuine. Oh

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<v Speaker 1>what a gem. Let's dive in with Tony him. Hello

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<v Speaker 1>for you, I'm great and thank you so much for

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<v Speaker 1>your flexibility and congratulation ends. Sketch is so beautiful.

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<v Speaker 2>Did you get a chance to see it?

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<v Speaker 1>Yes? They sent me the screener and I I just

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<v Speaker 1>love it. At one point I paused the movie and

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<v Speaker 1>I ran out. My partner was doing some work, and

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, I know you're working. I need you

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<v Speaker 1>to look at this. I just need you to look

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<v Speaker 1>at this. This is so amazing and it was really

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<v Speaker 1>I can't I felt like I couldn't wait to share

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<v Speaker 1>it with people. So I can't imagine how you feel

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<v Speaker 1>about it.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that means a lot, man, that means a lot.

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<v Speaker 2>It's it's it's taken us eight years to get it

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<v Speaker 2>made and we uh just I mean, you know, I

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<v Speaker 2>mean the business is so easy getting a film to

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<v Speaker 2>you know, Yeah, but it's like finding financing. And people

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<v Speaker 2>either thought it was going to when we pitched it.

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<v Speaker 2>They either thought it was going to be like The

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<v Speaker 2>Bob a Duke but then it had it was kind

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<v Speaker 2>of funny, or they thought it was like bomb Snowbits

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<v Speaker 2>got some emotional depth, so they couldn't really grab the

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<v Speaker 2>vision of it, which I get. And then just having

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<v Speaker 2>it released, it's a very like, uh, take care of

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<v Speaker 2>my kid kind of a feeling, you know. Yeah, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>really proud of it. So I appreciate you watching it.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm so excited for you. It really made me think.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, normally when people come on the show, the

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<v Speaker 1>very first question I ask them is the one I'll

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<v Speaker 1>ask you. If you could, like fold space time for

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<v Speaker 1>an afternoon and today, you could walk onto a playground

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<v Speaker 1>and hang out with your eight year old self, do

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<v Speaker 1>you think you'd see the man you are in that kid?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you think that kid's interests if you got to

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<v Speaker 1>watch him play or talk to him about what he

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<v Speaker 1>was into, would track for your career? And it's a

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<v Speaker 1>crazy question to post to someone who literally made this

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<v Speaker 1>beautiful movie about the inner world of a child.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. First, so I love that question. I love unique questions,

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<v Speaker 2>So I really appreciate that.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh thanks. Who.

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<v Speaker 2>I gotta be honest, I don't think it hasn't been

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<v Speaker 2>until probably the last five years to therapy that I've

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<v Speaker 2>like kind of liked that kid, you know, I mean

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<v Speaker 2>that's super kind of deep and cheesy. But I was

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<v Speaker 2>just kind of like that kid was kind of obnoxious

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<v Speaker 2>and just you know, just how much attention he could

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<v Speaker 2>get and I wasn't crazy about him. And then just

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<v Speaker 2>kind of, much like I've done with a lot of

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<v Speaker 2>my emotions, kind of invited them to the table rather

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<v Speaker 2>than trying to kind of, you know, compartmentalize them. That's

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<v Speaker 2>been helpful of like, yeah, it's a kid who Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>he was kind of as we all do. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>middle school is like a piece of hell and so dismanaging.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, he was doing what he could to get

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<v Speaker 2>through it, and I think it was more of just

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<v Speaker 2>like I would. I can definitely see the pattern that

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<v Speaker 2>has developed. I can definitely see how the whole map

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<v Speaker 2>has been put together and how it definitely started there.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, I was a very anxious kid. It's kind

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<v Speaker 2>of beautiful how that anxiety has used in today's work

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<v Speaker 2>that i've you know, or that I've been able to

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<v Speaker 2>put out, which is great. So I've seen the whole

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<v Speaker 2>kind of patch making of the quilt. But back then

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<v Speaker 2>you're just like in survival mode, you know, So it

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<v Speaker 2>just kind of me alongside him being like Hey, it's

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<v Speaker 2>gonna be okay, you know, just you're doing your best.

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<v Speaker 2>I think one thing one thing I do tell I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm sure you've talked a lot to like you're younger actors,

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<v Speaker 2>and they always ask your advice. But I would say, like,

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<v Speaker 2>just so you know, the value you have today is

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<v Speaker 2>going to be the exact same value you have after

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<v Speaker 2>whatever success you think is like success that your value

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<v Speaker 2>doesn't change. Yeah, I think I lived my life and

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<v Speaker 2>this business is in a way of like, you will

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<v Speaker 2>have value when this happens. You have value when this happens. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>even the way, even though in my mind I know

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<v Speaker 2>that's not true, the subconscious can believe that, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>and totally confirmation of like, yeah, my value is the

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<v Speaker 2>exact same is when I was back in middle school.

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<v Speaker 2>It hasn't changed absolutely well.

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<v Speaker 1>And I think you see that on such a large scale, right,

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<v Speaker 1>Like you know, you look around the world and this

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<v Speaker 1>sort of runaway, runaway capitalism, if you will, Like you

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<v Speaker 1>see all these people who have everything they could ever

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<v Speaker 1>want of value and value that they could never spend

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<v Speaker 1>or use, who still aren't satisfied. And so what you're

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<v Speaker 1>saying is really it's really hitting me because and maybe

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<v Speaker 1>it's the stage we're all in in life, right, Like

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<v Speaker 1>when people have gone through career shifts or divorces or

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<v Speaker 1>moved across the country or whatever the big change is,

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<v Speaker 1>and you realize like, oh, yeah, anywhere I go, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>still there. My problems are still there. Hopefully my joy

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<v Speaker 1>is still there, but like, oh, I really do. I

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<v Speaker 1>have to get to know me. I have to deal

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<v Speaker 1>with me. And I don't think it's an accident that

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<v Speaker 1>so many people are dealing with their own unique version

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<v Speaker 1>of this same situation. There's a universality to it.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, there's also I mean, I love you said

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<v Speaker 2>that because there's a there is a tremendous weight that

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<v Speaker 2>we put on these kind of whatever that big thing is.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, I've talked about this so much. Do you

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<v Speaker 2>ever talk about something so much? And you're like, people

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<v Speaker 2>are so tired of me? You think about it?

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<v Speaker 1>But yes, but then I have to remind myself that

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<v Speaker 1>much like today, whatever you're about to say, I haven't

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<v Speaker 1>heard you say.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, well that makes me feel better.

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<v Speaker 1>And there might be something I've said a thousand times

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<v Speaker 1>that's new information to you. There's probably fans of both

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<v Speaker 1>of ours that are like, shut the up, you keep

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<v Speaker 1>repeating this, but oh well, you know, we're just two

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<v Speaker 1>humans hanging out on zoom.

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<v Speaker 2>It's probably pretty narcissistic of me to think that everybody

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<v Speaker 2>listens to anyone.

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<v Speaker 1>Every single person knows every single thing I've ever said and.

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<v Speaker 2>They're counting them. But I when I booked Arrested Development,

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<v Speaker 2>that was my That was I all when I was

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<v Speaker 2>in New York, you know, just trying to make it quote,

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<v Speaker 2>make it. Being on a sitcom was like it for me.

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<v Speaker 2>It was like if I can I remember back then,

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<v Speaker 2>we had pilot season, if you remember, and it was

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<v Speaker 2>it was like the season where everything gets made, and

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<v Speaker 2>that pilot season would always run by me and I'd

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<v Speaker 2>be like, damn it, you know, I missed pilot season.

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<v Speaker 2>And then I booked it and I realized that it

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<v Speaker 2>did not satisfy me the way I thought I was

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<v Speaker 2>going to satisfy me, and it really really freaked me

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<v Speaker 2>out because I got, you know, I was fortunate enough

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<v Speaker 2>to get my quote dream and it didn't satisfy I

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<v Speaker 2>was like, oh shit, this is where to now and

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<v Speaker 2>it was and then after that was canceled, when I

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<v Speaker 2>kind of kicked into therapy, and I just realized like

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<v Speaker 2>that whole thing of like, if you're not practicing content

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<v Speaker 2>me where you are, you're not going to be content

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<v Speaker 2>when you get what you want. And I had not

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<v Speaker 2>been practicing contentment, you know, all my time in New York.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean not that, not that I didn't love my

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<v Speaker 2>time in New York, but anytime I was going through stuff,

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, you know what, whatever, that big thing's

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<v Speaker 2>come and that big things came in and I gave

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<v Speaker 2>it much weight, way too much weight, and match that weight.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and it's like putting too many eggs in one basket. Right,

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<v Speaker 1>we understand why that's bad or should be observed or

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<v Speaker 1>however you define it in a relationship. You know, you

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<v Speaker 1>hear you want you want to be happy with someone

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<v Speaker 1>but not co dependent. But nobody talks about codependence with

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<v Speaker 1>your career expectations or your personal goals. And it's kind

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<v Speaker 1>of striking me that that's sort of what it feels like,

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<v Speaker 1>you think, like, you know, it's the it's the work

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<v Speaker 1>version of like once I meet you know, my my

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<v Speaker 1>Prince Charming from the Disney movie, Everything's going to be amazing,

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<v Speaker 1>And it's like, yeah, somebody still has to do the dishes, actually,

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<v Speaker 1>so good luck.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And there's also a big difference what I'm learning

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<v Speaker 2>with codependency and healthy dependence. Yeah, we need each other.

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<v Speaker 2>We're made community, We're made for relationships. And I've i've

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<v Speaker 2>I jokingly harp on codependency a lot because it's a strong,

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<v Speaker 2>strong than my history. But like, it doesn't mean I'm

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<v Speaker 2>supposed to be massively independent or.

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<v Speaker 1>Isolated, well, because that's not good either.

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<v Speaker 2>That's not good either. There is a balance of healthy

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<v Speaker 2>relying on each other, you know, and.

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<v Speaker 1>And where the reliance feels like joy, where it feels

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<v Speaker 1>like love totally, you know how nice, Like what a

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<v Speaker 1>what a thing? I'm curious, you know, when you talk

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<v Speaker 1>about that early success with Arrested, it's really interesting because

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<v Speaker 1>it makes me realize something like when I was working

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<v Speaker 1>on my first show, which similar thing, right like in

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<v Speaker 1>the early opts, you book a WB show like right

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<v Speaker 1>after Dawson's Creek, you know, what a thing. But then

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<v Speaker 1>our show also got relentlessly made fun of because it

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<v Speaker 1>was high tabloid culture the soup loved to talk about

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<v Speaker 1>and to be perfectly clear for our listeners, we were

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<v Speaker 1>doing a really dumb shit on that show, so like

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<v Speaker 1>they deserve to make fun of it. But in a

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<v Speaker 1>weird way, it gave me the opposite thing where I

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<v Speaker 1>was doing this thing that was largely pretty amazing and

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<v Speaker 1>kind of ridiculous, but ridiculous is fun, and I got

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<v Speaker 1>so almost allergic to liking it or thinking it was

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<v Speaker 1>good and only as a pandemic project. Rewatching the show

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<v Speaker 1>for a podcast with my friends, cause like how could

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<v Speaker 1>we work and what were we all doing? Anyway, we

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<v Speaker 1>were like, wait, this a lot of this is actually

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<v Speaker 1>really good. Like occasionally, you know, a dog eats a

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<v Speaker 1>guy's heart on the way to the hospital transplant, Like

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<v Speaker 1>that's ridiculous, but actually, these emotions, these actors, Like I

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<v Speaker 1>even looked back at myself and I was like, oh

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<v Speaker 1>my god, you really ate up that scene, okay, And

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<v Speaker 1>I've been able to kind of enjoy it in a

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<v Speaker 1>way I didn't. Then, are you at a point where

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<v Speaker 1>you can go back and look at the those things

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<v Speaker 1>and just love them and love your time on them, or.

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<v Speaker 2>Yet I think, I'm man, it's a it's a tough

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<v Speaker 2>one because it's it's it's hard for me to watch

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<v Speaker 2>it and not constantly think how the sausage was made

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<v Speaker 2>or how this almost the feelings that I was going through.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean I was so overwhelmed arrested, which, by the way,

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<v Speaker 2>I would not have been able to play job on

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<v Speaker 2>that show because he was super confident. Thankfully, I was

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<v Speaker 2>playing like a very overwhelmed you know character was having

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<v Speaker 2>panic attacks every other day. So I mean that worked,

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<v Speaker 2>but I I think I was I was so honestly,

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<v Speaker 2>it's I related. I relate it to that kid in

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<v Speaker 2>middle school, like it's taken me a little time to

0:12:49.960 --> 0:12:52.880
<v Speaker 2>kind of be like I get you. I'm getting there

0:12:52.920 --> 0:12:56.160
<v Speaker 2>with that time, unarrested because I was just in this

0:12:56.679 --> 0:13:01.000
<v Speaker 2>uh really really, I never been on a stage. I've

0:13:01.040 --> 0:13:04.599
<v Speaker 2>never been a lot. I just asked a lot of

0:13:04.640 --> 0:13:06.800
<v Speaker 2>stupid questions. I mean I was just kind of overwhelmed.

0:13:07.280 --> 0:13:10.000
<v Speaker 2>So I think there's a little bit of a not embarrassment,

0:13:10.120 --> 0:13:13.840
<v Speaker 2>but kind of But then again, and also maybe I

0:13:13.920 --> 0:13:16.840
<v Speaker 2>gave a lot of power to people that I probably

0:13:18.120 --> 0:13:22.840
<v Speaker 2>just that I probably should not have given in just

0:13:22.880 --> 0:13:25.640
<v Speaker 2>the business in general, you know, so kind of that's

0:13:25.679 --> 0:13:27.319
<v Speaker 2>where I go back. I'm like, God, I really gave

0:13:27.360 --> 0:13:29.720
<v Speaker 2>that personal a lot of power, you know, that kind

0:13:29.760 --> 0:13:34.040
<v Speaker 2>of stuff. But that's Those are the regrets I have.

0:13:34.559 --> 0:13:38.360
<v Speaker 2>But in terms of the work I do really. I mean,

0:13:38.400 --> 0:13:41.280
<v Speaker 2>like my favorite joke on the show is Tobias joining

0:13:41.280 --> 0:13:43.200
<v Speaker 2>the Blue Man Group because he thinks it's a support

0:13:43.240 --> 0:13:45.760
<v Speaker 2>group of depressed men. I mean, I think that is

0:13:46.080 --> 0:13:51.559
<v Speaker 2>so later, and like him trusting he was my Him

0:13:51.559 --> 0:13:55.800
<v Speaker 2>and Job were probably my favorite characters. Will Arnett was

0:13:55.880 --> 0:13:58.440
<v Speaker 2>just you know what, I'm circling back. But it's like

0:13:58.480 --> 0:14:01.240
<v Speaker 2>I think watching other people on that show, it gives

0:14:01.280 --> 0:14:07.760
<v Speaker 2>me I love me, but for people. Yeah, and Deep

0:14:07.800 --> 0:14:10.160
<v Speaker 2>is a different story because it happened later and so

0:14:10.640 --> 0:14:13.720
<v Speaker 2>that I have no issue. I mean I enjoy that.

0:14:13.800 --> 0:14:16.320
<v Speaker 2>And I love watching bluep of reels because oh I

0:14:16.360 --> 0:14:19.640
<v Speaker 2>love that. That's what I remember. I remember just not

0:14:19.720 --> 0:14:21.360
<v Speaker 2>being able to keep it together. I mean, you know

0:14:21.400 --> 0:14:23.800
<v Speaker 2>that feeling like when your whole body is shaking and

0:14:23.840 --> 0:14:26.720
<v Speaker 2>you're just like, I I'm really trying my hardest, but

0:14:26.800 --> 0:14:28.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm I'm not gonna be able to make this and

0:14:29.000 --> 0:14:30.920
<v Speaker 2>I know the camera's on me, and I guess I'm

0:14:30.920 --> 0:14:33.960
<v Speaker 2>gonna lose it. That kind of feeling. I love watching

0:14:34.000 --> 0:14:34.560
<v Speaker 2>that stuff.

0:14:34.880 --> 0:14:37.880
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Oh it's such a joy too, Like whether it's

0:14:37.920 --> 0:14:41.920
<v Speaker 1>you or someone you love to watch. Watching Somebody Break

0:14:42.120 --> 0:14:46.400
<v Speaker 1>really is one of my favorite, like favorite moments.

0:14:46.360 --> 0:14:47.960
<v Speaker 2>That I mean, I don't know if you grew up

0:14:48.320 --> 0:14:50.680
<v Speaker 2>you're younger than me, but the Caroburnett Show was a

0:14:50.680 --> 0:14:54.360
<v Speaker 2>big influence on me. And they would always Harve Tim

0:14:54.440 --> 0:14:57.880
<v Speaker 2>Conway trying to break up Harvey Korman just and you

0:14:57.880 --> 0:15:00.960
<v Speaker 2>can just see the pain in Harvey Korn. It's so

0:15:01.280 --> 0:15:04.120
<v Speaker 2>good and it's so freeing. It's such a moment of

0:15:04.200 --> 0:15:08.640
<v Speaker 2>accidental joy where it's yeah, nothing is planned, They're just

0:15:08.800 --> 0:15:11.120
<v Speaker 2>free and you're like, oh, I watched that. I just

0:15:11.240 --> 0:15:13.200
<v Speaker 2>I was telling somebody recently, it's like I would love

0:15:13.240 --> 0:15:16.640
<v Speaker 2>a comic con for just bloopers like I just to

0:15:16.760 --> 0:15:19.000
<v Speaker 2>like just be absorbed, and I love it.

0:15:19.160 --> 0:15:21.160
<v Speaker 1>We'll be back in just a minute after a few

0:15:21.160 --> 0:15:32.200
<v Speaker 1>words from our favorite sponsors. Is that so surreal to you?

0:15:32.280 --> 0:15:35.400
<v Speaker 1>Because when you talk about VEEP, I think about that

0:15:35.400 --> 0:15:41.760
<v Speaker 1>that level of complete political absurdity that you all were portraying.

0:15:41.960 --> 0:15:45.960
<v Speaker 1>And half of the days of my week now when

0:15:46.000 --> 0:15:48.240
<v Speaker 1>I look at the news, I'm like, is this a

0:15:48.320 --> 0:15:51.760
<v Speaker 1>headline from the Onion or is this the New York Times?

0:15:51.800 --> 0:15:55.760
<v Speaker 1>Like what's happening? Is it? Is it surreal? To you,

0:15:56.160 --> 0:16:00.440
<v Speaker 1>are you like, oh god, in some woo woo world,

0:16:00.520 --> 0:16:01.560
<v Speaker 1>like did we manifest?

0:16:01.640 --> 0:16:01.800
<v Speaker 2>This?

0:16:02.360 --> 0:16:03.920
<v Speaker 1>Is this the secret come to life?

0:16:04.080 --> 0:16:13.240
<v Speaker 2>Like that's so good? I do, I do. But what's

0:16:13.280 --> 0:16:17.520
<v Speaker 2>even more surreal is I remember an episode where Selena

0:16:17.600 --> 0:16:20.240
<v Speaker 2>was she tweeted something accidentally and we were all like

0:16:20.680 --> 0:16:25.960
<v Speaker 2>she we were all freaking out. And Trump lives on Twitter,

0:16:26.320 --> 0:16:31.120
<v Speaker 2>you know, stuff like that. Yes, and you're like, wait

0:16:31.160 --> 0:16:34.400
<v Speaker 2>a second, we were we thought this was extreme, and

0:16:34.480 --> 0:16:37.640
<v Speaker 2>now you know, CNN is its own political sitcom. You know,

0:16:37.680 --> 0:16:40.680
<v Speaker 2>it's that kind of And that's I think partly why

0:16:40.760 --> 0:16:42.840
<v Speaker 2>we or they stopped. I mean, I would have kept

0:16:42.880 --> 0:16:45.560
<v Speaker 2>going because I love them so much, but it was

0:16:45.880 --> 0:16:49.480
<v Speaker 2>there was nothing. Everything was had just become its own farce,

0:16:49.920 --> 0:16:52.280
<v Speaker 2>you know, wild. I mean, I'd love to go back,

0:16:52.280 --> 0:16:54.200
<v Speaker 2>but I think it just got things got too extreme.

0:16:55.040 --> 0:16:59.440
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, I would give anything, please bring it back.

0:17:00.160 --> 0:17:03.120
<v Speaker 1>But I yeah, it is. It is kind of. It

0:17:03.200 --> 0:17:06.040
<v Speaker 1>must be a wild feeling to have read scripts for

0:17:06.119 --> 0:17:08.359
<v Speaker 1>that show and gone, okay, well, no one would really

0:17:08.400 --> 0:17:11.760
<v Speaker 1>do this. And now you see what's actually on the

0:17:11.760 --> 0:17:15.560
<v Speaker 1>internet from the literal president, and you go, oh, if

0:17:15.560 --> 0:17:18.800
<v Speaker 1>we'd written a fraction of that. The heads of the

0:17:18.800 --> 0:17:20.679
<v Speaker 1>studio would have said we were being insane and it

0:17:20.720 --> 0:17:21.280
<v Speaker 1>could never.

0:17:21.160 --> 0:17:23.440
<v Speaker 2>Go on the air totally. And I think that's exactly

0:17:23.440 --> 0:17:25.320
<v Speaker 2>what it happened. That the writers would be like, if

0:17:25.320 --> 0:17:28.040
<v Speaker 2>we had written a character like this easily, the note

0:17:28.040 --> 0:17:31.280
<v Speaker 2>would have been too broad. This is great, we've gotten

0:17:31.280 --> 0:17:34.560
<v Speaker 2>away from our because we're always trying to ground it somehow.

0:17:36.200 --> 0:17:39.639
<v Speaker 2>And it's like, two, a cartoon character is, you know,

0:17:40.359 --> 0:17:41.359
<v Speaker 2>kind of out there.

0:17:41.800 --> 0:17:43.879
<v Speaker 1>It's so nuts to me. It's like, we live in

0:17:43.920 --> 0:17:50.480
<v Speaker 1>the family. Guy. Do those things do you think they

0:17:50.560 --> 0:17:55.359
<v Speaker 1>strike you more deeply? Perhaps because of the way that

0:17:55.440 --> 0:17:58.320
<v Speaker 1>you grew up, because when I think about when I

0:17:58.359 --> 0:18:00.840
<v Speaker 1>look at the movie and this that you play, and

0:18:00.880 --> 0:18:02.600
<v Speaker 1>then I think about some of the things that you've

0:18:02.640 --> 0:18:05.639
<v Speaker 1>talked about in the ways you grew up and the

0:18:05.680 --> 0:18:08.359
<v Speaker 1>ways you came into the work. And you know, your

0:18:08.440 --> 0:18:11.679
<v Speaker 1>dad was a physics teacher and suddenly science is under attack,

0:18:11.720 --> 0:18:14.160
<v Speaker 1>your mom was involved in politics, and then you did Beep,

0:18:14.280 --> 0:18:18.680
<v Speaker 1>and now a cartoon character is the president, Like how

0:18:18.720 --> 0:18:21.840
<v Speaker 1>does it all kind of how does the dust settle

0:18:21.920 --> 0:18:24.560
<v Speaker 1>for you in your experience when you look around at

0:18:24.680 --> 0:18:25.159
<v Speaker 1>all of this.

0:18:27.400 --> 0:18:30.240
<v Speaker 2>I mean, it's the first thing I thought about when

0:18:30.280 --> 0:18:36.920
<v Speaker 2>you said that is there is an irritation component of man,

0:18:37.560 --> 0:18:41.199
<v Speaker 2>there's I mean, honestly not to like. For instance, my

0:18:41.280 --> 0:18:45.159
<v Speaker 2>faith is important to me and I grew up in

0:18:45.200 --> 0:18:49.840
<v Speaker 2>a kind of a conservative environment, and many times there

0:18:49.960 --> 0:18:56.240
<v Speaker 2>is an association with my faith with a certain party

0:18:56.280 --> 0:19:01.560
<v Speaker 2>and it's if anything, I just go, ah, that's not

0:19:01.800 --> 0:19:05.879
<v Speaker 2>the faith I'm experiencing, you know, Like Christ says the

0:19:05.880 --> 0:19:09.880
<v Speaker 2>fruits of the spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness,

0:19:09.880 --> 0:19:13.480
<v Speaker 2>and self control. That that's the fruit of someone following God.

0:19:14.600 --> 0:19:17.320
<v Speaker 2>I can't find one of those in a person that

0:19:17.440 --> 0:19:22.600
<v Speaker 2>is associated with with my faith. That's you know. And

0:19:22.600 --> 0:19:24.960
<v Speaker 2>I kind of I mean not to get too political,

0:19:25.000 --> 0:19:29.200
<v Speaker 2>but it's like that's when I get just speaking of

0:19:29.320 --> 0:19:33.280
<v Speaker 2>weep and I remember doing a storyline where my character

0:19:33.359 --> 0:19:36.280
<v Speaker 2>was kind of connected to kind of the faith component,

0:19:37.440 --> 0:19:42.040
<v Speaker 2>and I it was I that whole narrative, not the

0:19:42.119 --> 0:19:44.120
<v Speaker 2>narrative of the show, but just the narrative those out

0:19:44.119 --> 0:19:47.840
<v Speaker 2>there is really frustrating. You know. It's a very powerless

0:19:47.840 --> 0:19:51.000
<v Speaker 2>feelings sometimes because I'm like, wait a second, this isn't tracking,

0:19:51.640 --> 0:19:55.479
<v Speaker 2>you know, totally. Yeah, that was a total tangent, But

0:19:55.480 --> 0:19:57.600
<v Speaker 2>that when you were talking about that. That's where my

0:19:57.640 --> 0:19:59.600
<v Speaker 2>mind went immediately went no, but I think.

0:19:59.480 --> 0:20:06.840
<v Speaker 1>That's really powerful, the kind of incongruous nature of the

0:20:06.920 --> 0:20:12.520
<v Speaker 1>like preachers with private planes telling us to deport people

0:20:12.600 --> 0:20:15.560
<v Speaker 1>and take food away from children. You're like, whoa, this

0:20:15.720 --> 0:20:21.920
<v Speaker 1>is literally the opposite of what I learned. I feel confused,

0:20:22.880 --> 0:20:27.359
<v Speaker 1>and it is surreal. I you know, I feel really lucky.

0:20:28.200 --> 0:20:32.720
<v Speaker 1>I grew up my mom like deep Catholic family. My

0:20:32.840 --> 0:20:36.240
<v Speaker 1>dad grew up in a sect of Christianity and became

0:20:36.440 --> 0:20:39.760
<v Speaker 1>an atheist, and the entire rest of my family is Jewish,

0:20:40.160 --> 0:20:43.720
<v Speaker 1>and so I've done like all of the religious studies,

0:20:44.200 --> 0:20:51.239
<v Speaker 1>which I adore. And it is that incongruous experience of

0:20:51.320 --> 0:20:54.560
<v Speaker 1>watching people tell you. It's like someone saying to you,

0:20:54.680 --> 0:20:58.240
<v Speaker 1>I promise the sky is green, and it says so

0:20:58.320 --> 0:21:00.119
<v Speaker 1>in this book, and you're like, but it doesn't. It

0:21:00.160 --> 0:21:02.600
<v Speaker 1>literally says the sky is blue. And also the sky

0:21:02.760 --> 0:21:05.959
<v Speaker 1>is blue and I can see it and what And

0:21:06.000 --> 0:21:13.080
<v Speaker 1>it's so it's so confusing. But what I think, this

0:21:13.160 --> 0:21:15.000
<v Speaker 1>is going to be a wild connection. But this is

0:21:15.000 --> 0:21:17.920
<v Speaker 1>what's coming into my mind, and I hope you'll ride

0:21:17.960 --> 0:21:22.679
<v Speaker 1>this train with me. What I think stands out so

0:21:22.960 --> 0:21:30.399
<v Speaker 1>powerfully even in this very funny, strange, hybrid authentic and

0:21:31.000 --> 0:21:35.960
<v Speaker 1>heartbreaking but still so light in its moments movie you've made.

0:21:37.160 --> 0:21:41.520
<v Speaker 1>Is that the whole thing really is about a hero's

0:21:41.560 --> 0:21:44.440
<v Speaker 1>journey and a group of people learning to tell each

0:21:44.440 --> 0:21:47.560
<v Speaker 1>other the truth even when it's hard, and that to

0:21:47.640 --> 0:21:49.200
<v Speaker 1>me is kind of a spiritual thing.

0:21:50.320 --> 0:21:54.720
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's that's really powerful because I when you were talking,

0:21:54.760 --> 0:21:57.240
<v Speaker 2>I just immediately thought about the world the word control,

0:21:57.560 --> 0:22:00.639
<v Speaker 2>where it's the people are just trying to control a

0:22:00.760 --> 0:22:04.600
<v Speaker 2>narrative or doing things and say like this, and it's like, listen,

0:22:05.080 --> 0:22:07.280
<v Speaker 2>stop pointing the finger. You got to point the finger

0:22:07.280 --> 0:22:10.920
<v Speaker 2>back at yourself. Like we've got to start. I mean

0:22:12.240 --> 0:22:14.280
<v Speaker 2>just like that's bad. That's bad. It's like, no, let's

0:22:14.480 --> 0:22:16.560
<v Speaker 2>let's just start taking care of our own six feet

0:22:16.600 --> 0:22:17.760
<v Speaker 2>and be like what am I? What do I need

0:22:17.800 --> 0:22:19.560
<v Speaker 2>to work on? Who do I need to love? If

0:22:19.560 --> 0:22:22.200
<v Speaker 2>we start doing that, then that might cause some kind

0:22:22.240 --> 0:22:25.080
<v Speaker 2>of a change, the change that you're trying to If

0:22:25.080 --> 0:22:27.879
<v Speaker 2>you do that, then I might start doing that. But

0:22:27.960 --> 0:22:31.000
<v Speaker 2>it's like in the movie the dad who I play,

0:22:32.000 --> 0:22:35.199
<v Speaker 2>you know, he really thought compartmentalizing grief was kind of

0:22:35.200 --> 0:22:37.040
<v Speaker 2>the best thing to do, so if I can control it.

0:22:37.080 --> 0:22:39.200
<v Speaker 2>If I cannot, because he leaves me his wife in

0:22:39.240 --> 0:22:42.640
<v Speaker 2>the movie, and I mean I get it. I mean

0:22:42.640 --> 0:22:44.639
<v Speaker 2>I've I've got a nineteen year old daughter. I do

0:22:44.720 --> 0:22:47.120
<v Speaker 2>not want her to walk through challenges I don't want

0:22:47.119 --> 0:22:49.560
<v Speaker 2>to field. I mean, I want her to be happy

0:22:49.720 --> 0:22:53.240
<v Speaker 2>and all that hit that impulse. But if I tried,

0:22:53.440 --> 0:22:55.320
<v Speaker 2>he in the character of the movie, you know, doesn't

0:22:55.320 --> 0:22:57.960
<v Speaker 2>have pictures of her in the house. He really talk

0:22:58.040 --> 0:23:01.200
<v Speaker 2>about his wife, he and in his he really thinks

0:23:01.720 --> 0:23:07.040
<v Speaker 2>this is the equation to save the situation, when in actuality,

0:23:07.119 --> 0:23:10.320
<v Speaker 2>he's got to let go of that control and allow

0:23:10.440 --> 0:23:12.600
<v Speaker 2>his kids to process them the way they're going to

0:23:12.640 --> 0:23:14.680
<v Speaker 2>process them. That's how they're going to get through it.

0:23:15.119 --> 0:23:16.840
<v Speaker 2>And I feel like, you're right, that's kind of this.

0:23:17.240 --> 0:23:19.520
<v Speaker 2>What's happening is like in people's mind, they think, no,

0:23:19.600 --> 0:23:21.600
<v Speaker 2>if I do this, if I try to control this,

0:23:22.040 --> 0:23:25.520
<v Speaker 2>that's going to be the equation. Now you gotta let

0:23:25.560 --> 0:23:28.160
<v Speaker 2>go of that control and process it your own way

0:23:28.280 --> 0:23:30.160
<v Speaker 2>and back at yourself.

0:23:31.080 --> 0:23:34.240
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's like that adage. You know, when I point

0:23:34.280 --> 0:23:37.880
<v Speaker 1>the finger at you, there's three fingers pointing back at me. Yeah,

0:23:37.920 --> 0:23:41.760
<v Speaker 1>it's a nice reminder. I think when you talk about

0:23:41.800 --> 0:23:45.760
<v Speaker 1>the movie and for our friends at home, Sketch was

0:23:46.000 --> 0:23:49.480
<v Speaker 1>released yesterday. How do you feel now that it's out

0:23:49.480 --> 0:23:51.320
<v Speaker 1>in the world. I mean, you talked at the top

0:23:51.359 --> 0:23:54.800
<v Speaker 1>of our conversation about putting eight years of effort into

0:23:54.800 --> 0:23:57.479
<v Speaker 1>getting this movie made. What's it like to have an

0:23:57.480 --> 0:23:59.680
<v Speaker 1>eight year old in the world for the last twenty

0:23:59.680 --> 0:24:00.919
<v Speaker 1>four hours. How do you feel?

0:24:02.440 --> 0:24:04.560
<v Speaker 2>Well? Thanks for First of all, that's really kind of

0:24:04.640 --> 0:24:08.720
<v Speaker 2>you to watch it and talk about it. I uh.

0:24:08.880 --> 0:24:11.119
<v Speaker 2>I think it goes back to that control. It's like

0:24:11.480 --> 0:24:16.960
<v Speaker 2>I am powerless to how people. I love it so much.

0:24:17.359 --> 0:24:22.240
<v Speaker 2>It's it means so much to me I and I

0:24:22.880 --> 0:24:25.920
<v Speaker 2>really want people to experience the joy that I have

0:24:26.000 --> 0:24:26.920
<v Speaker 2>experienced from it.

0:24:27.520 --> 0:24:27.840
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:24:28.080 --> 0:24:31.160
<v Speaker 2>I don't have that control, and I want that control.

0:24:31.520 --> 0:24:34.120
<v Speaker 2>I mean I've been doing press for a while and

0:24:34.280 --> 0:24:37.199
<v Speaker 2>it's hard not to be like, watch Sketch. I promise you,

0:24:37.240 --> 0:24:37.719
<v Speaker 2>no love it.

0:24:38.280 --> 0:24:40.000
<v Speaker 1>I promise you it's going to make you feel so

0:24:40.119 --> 0:24:41.520
<v Speaker 1>good fx you.

0:24:42.480 --> 0:24:44.439
<v Speaker 2>But it's you know, I don't have that, and so

0:24:44.560 --> 0:24:46.920
<v Speaker 2>it's now it's just that kind of vulnerability of like, hey,

0:24:47.119 --> 0:24:48.119
<v Speaker 2>I gotta just let it go.

0:24:48.880 --> 0:24:51.520
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Yeah, releasing it into the wild is.

0:24:51.440 --> 0:24:54.119
<v Speaker 2>Like, oh, it's tough, hard, it's tough.

0:24:54.840 --> 0:24:56.280
<v Speaker 1>What drew you to it?

0:24:56.680 --> 0:24:56.879
<v Speaker 2>You know?

0:24:56.960 --> 0:25:00.720
<v Speaker 1>Because I always think it's good you spoke earlier about

0:25:00.760 --> 0:25:03.160
<v Speaker 1>how you know you'll talk to younger actors. I think

0:25:03.160 --> 0:25:05.479
<v Speaker 1>it's so important to let people know how hard it

0:25:05.560 --> 0:25:08.440
<v Speaker 1>is and how long it takes to get something made,

0:25:09.320 --> 0:25:12.440
<v Speaker 1>and for you to stick by this thing for close

0:25:12.480 --> 0:25:16.160
<v Speaker 1>to a decade. When did it come to you? How

0:25:16.160 --> 0:25:19.399
<v Speaker 1>did it come to you? What made you say, you know,

0:25:19.520 --> 0:25:21.200
<v Speaker 1>come hell or high water. I am going to get

0:25:21.280 --> 0:25:24.320
<v Speaker 1>this movie out, Like, why do you think it got

0:25:24.359 --> 0:25:25.160
<v Speaker 1>in you like that?

0:25:25.560 --> 0:25:27.320
<v Speaker 2>I don't know if you're fear like this too, I

0:25:27.359 --> 0:25:31.080
<v Speaker 2>don't know. I don't know, but something just kept because

0:25:31.119 --> 0:25:33.160
<v Speaker 2>you know, eight years ago, when Seth Worley, the writer

0:25:33.280 --> 0:25:35.359
<v Speaker 2>and director, brought me kind of half the script, I

0:25:35.440 --> 0:25:37.960
<v Speaker 2>was like, dang, because I knew his history with special effects,

0:25:38.440 --> 0:25:41.479
<v Speaker 2>and even even in the movie, she's drawing things out

0:25:41.520 --> 0:25:44.439
<v Speaker 2>of chalk or crayon or sharpie or glitter, and you

0:25:44.440 --> 0:25:46.720
<v Speaker 2>can see the textures and the monsters when they come

0:25:46.760 --> 0:25:51.119
<v Speaker 2>to life. Yes, and I just loved his detail of that.

0:25:51.240 --> 0:25:53.679
<v Speaker 2>And then at the same time, being a dad, I

0:25:53.760 --> 0:25:56.200
<v Speaker 2>was like, I got the there's a new term called

0:25:56.480 --> 0:25:59.800
<v Speaker 2>snowplow parenting, where it's not helicopter parenting, but you want

0:25:59.840 --> 0:26:01.880
<v Speaker 2>to move all the challenges in front of your kid.

0:26:02.040 --> 0:26:06.120
<v Speaker 2>You want to just snowplow them away. And I get that.

0:26:06.280 --> 0:26:08.439
<v Speaker 2>I fully get that, and I when I saw it,

0:26:08.480 --> 0:26:12.320
<v Speaker 2>I was like, oh, man, I like the idea of

0:26:12.359 --> 0:26:15.240
<v Speaker 2>not only a kid watching this and feeling seen that, Like, yeah,

0:26:15.240 --> 0:26:18.040
<v Speaker 2>we all process feelings differently, but parents just given themselves

0:26:18.080 --> 0:26:20.280
<v Speaker 2>a break, you know of like, yeah, he is a

0:26:20.400 --> 0:26:23.240
<v Speaker 2>learning curve. Of course this dad thought he was doing

0:26:23.280 --> 0:26:26.440
<v Speaker 2>the right thing, and everybody else is like, whoa, let

0:26:26.480 --> 0:26:28.359
<v Speaker 2>your kids feel, Let your kids feel. But in his

0:26:28.440 --> 0:26:31.520
<v Speaker 2>mind he's like, no, we got to move. Like he

0:26:31.600 --> 0:26:34.640
<v Speaker 2>just was in survival mode, you know. So I liked

0:26:34.720 --> 0:26:38.560
<v Speaker 2>I resonated with that. But yeah, to the what to

0:26:38.600 --> 0:26:41.840
<v Speaker 2>your question of it's hard, it's crazy man, this and

0:26:42.320 --> 0:26:45.440
<v Speaker 2>you can relate to this. I mean we've both done

0:26:45.480 --> 0:26:47.840
<v Speaker 2>work and at the time it looks like working all

0:26:47.840 --> 0:26:52.200
<v Speaker 2>the time, when in actuality, there's months in between those

0:26:52.320 --> 0:26:56.199
<v Speaker 2>jobs where you're hining for work. You're like, when's the

0:26:56.240 --> 0:26:59.200
<v Speaker 2>next job and how is this going to be received?

0:26:59.320 --> 0:27:02.239
<v Speaker 2>And you're gig to gig, you know, you're calling your

0:27:02.280 --> 0:27:04.000
<v Speaker 2>agent and you'll be like, hey' is anything going on?

0:27:04.320 --> 0:27:07.920
<v Speaker 2>What's happening. It's like there is a I've been doing

0:27:07.960 --> 0:27:12.080
<v Speaker 2>this for thirty years and there's you know, there's just

0:27:12.240 --> 0:27:14.880
<v Speaker 2>there was a season actually after arrest of development, where

0:27:14.920 --> 0:27:16.320
<v Speaker 2>we thought we were gonna have to sell our house

0:27:16.680 --> 0:27:20.520
<v Speaker 2>because we were like, we don't know if I remember

0:27:20.560 --> 0:27:22.960
<v Speaker 2>the month that arrest had got canceled, we bought a

0:27:22.960 --> 0:27:25.040
<v Speaker 2>house and my daughter was born. So this was, you know,

0:27:25.480 --> 0:27:28.440
<v Speaker 2>almost two years ago, and I turned to my wife

0:27:28.440 --> 0:27:30.719
<v Speaker 2>and I was like, I don't I don't know what

0:27:30.800 --> 0:27:33.600
<v Speaker 2>to do. I don't know what and so we kind

0:27:33.600 --> 0:27:36.800
<v Speaker 2>of kept going and gigs weren't really flying that much,

0:27:37.080 --> 0:27:38.960
<v Speaker 2>and I was and we've talked to our kind of

0:27:39.000 --> 0:27:42.480
<v Speaker 2>our financial consultant, be like, do we think we need

0:27:42.480 --> 0:27:44.520
<v Speaker 2>to sell the house, And he's like, we're not there yet,

0:27:45.119 --> 0:27:47.199
<v Speaker 2>but it might be coming, you know, And you're like,

0:27:48.080 --> 0:27:49.800
<v Speaker 2>you know, you just but that's kind of and then

0:27:49.800 --> 0:27:52.119
<v Speaker 2>you kind of take funds from other things and you

0:27:52.160 --> 0:27:54.480
<v Speaker 2>make it work. But it is a bit of a

0:27:54.520 --> 0:27:59.000
<v Speaker 2>piecemeal together. Koreer and as you, I mean, we both

0:27:59.080 --> 0:28:03.719
<v Speaker 2>know this business. This man is I so many times

0:28:03.800 --> 0:28:05.760
<v Speaker 2>people have said, hey, you just can't take it personally.

0:28:05.760 --> 0:28:07.560
<v Speaker 2>You just can't take it personally. It's hard to not

0:28:07.600 --> 0:28:10.679
<v Speaker 2>take a personally. Yeah, right, it's tough.

0:28:11.280 --> 0:28:14.920
<v Speaker 1>One of the craziest things about that to me as

0:28:14.960 --> 0:28:20.280
<v Speaker 1>an actor is our entire job is to be so

0:28:22.560 --> 0:28:26.640
<v Speaker 1>raw and so empathetic that we can feel another person's

0:28:26.640 --> 0:28:30.840
<v Speaker 1>feelings and portray them as our own. Yeah, and then

0:28:31.240 --> 0:28:33.680
<v Speaker 1>we get our feelings hurt and people are like, don't

0:28:33.720 --> 0:28:35.760
<v Speaker 1>let it hurt your feelings. I'm like, are you nuts?

0:28:36.880 --> 0:28:37.080
<v Speaker 2>Are you?

0:28:37.320 --> 0:28:40.880
<v Speaker 1>Are you nuts? It's like the weird misnomer. It's like

0:28:40.880 --> 0:28:43.880
<v Speaker 1>the comment section people on the internet are like, look

0:28:43.880 --> 0:28:47.320
<v Speaker 1>at how many this point, this many million. You must

0:28:47.360 --> 0:28:49.160
<v Speaker 1>just have people kissing your ass. I'm going to be

0:28:49.200 --> 0:28:52.720
<v Speaker 1>doubly mean to you. And it's like, so you're just

0:28:52.800 --> 0:28:55.480
<v Speaker 1>doubly mean. I'm just running into doubly mean people all

0:28:55.560 --> 0:28:57.840
<v Speaker 1>day and I'm not supposed to let it affect me.

0:28:57.920 --> 0:29:01.360
<v Speaker 1>I'm like a sensitive little smush. What do you mean,

0:29:01.440 --> 0:29:03.240
<v Speaker 1>I'm like moving around in the world like a snail

0:29:03.240 --> 0:29:04.600
<v Speaker 1>without a shell.

0:29:05.080 --> 0:29:09.280
<v Speaker 2>I'm built. That's your job too, Like you have to

0:29:09.760 --> 0:29:12.160
<v Speaker 2>you got to access these feelings, and you're right, you

0:29:12.200 --> 0:29:15.800
<v Speaker 2>can't turn them off when somebody says words like it,

0:29:15.800 --> 0:29:18.560
<v Speaker 2>it does and when somebody says like if you're going

0:29:18.640 --> 0:29:19.720
<v Speaker 2>for me, if I'm going out for a job, and

0:29:19.800 --> 0:29:23.640
<v Speaker 2>someone's like, yeah, you weren't right? What's that? What what

0:29:24.600 --> 0:29:24.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm like?

0:29:24.920 --> 0:29:26.000
<v Speaker 1>But what do you mean?

0:29:26.280 --> 0:29:28.080
<v Speaker 2>What do you mean? And it's also the sense of like,

0:29:28.200 --> 0:29:31.400
<v Speaker 2>I sure i'd loved I know, I know that it's

0:29:31.680 --> 0:29:34.080
<v Speaker 2>I wasn't right, but it's it's tough to not feel it.

0:29:34.360 --> 0:29:38.040
<v Speaker 1>You get well, yeah, because then you think, but what

0:29:38.080 --> 0:29:39.680
<v Speaker 1>could I have done that would have been right?

0:29:39.800 --> 0:29:41.920
<v Speaker 2>Totally, totally totally.

0:29:41.560 --> 0:29:43.800
<v Speaker 1>And you know what I've started to do. Here's here's

0:29:44.240 --> 0:29:47.600
<v Speaker 1>a little nugget. I don't know why it's helping, but

0:29:48.680 --> 0:29:50.480
<v Speaker 1>this came out of a conversation with one of my

0:29:50.520 --> 0:29:53.320
<v Speaker 1>best friends where we were talking about why is the

0:29:53.440 --> 0:29:56.800
<v Speaker 1>negative weigh so heavy and the positive way so light?

0:29:57.760 --> 0:30:01.000
<v Speaker 1>Why why isn't everything just for a pound of flesh

0:30:01.000 --> 0:30:03.640
<v Speaker 1>if you will? And we were like, Okay, how do

0:30:03.720 --> 0:30:05.720
<v Speaker 1>we take the things that feel hard and put a

0:30:05.800 --> 0:30:08.360
<v Speaker 1>little humor on them? Or a little something you don't

0:30:08.360 --> 0:30:10.560
<v Speaker 1>get a job, or you don't get the thing, or

0:30:10.600 --> 0:30:13.360
<v Speaker 1>something doesn't go your way, like how do you take

0:30:13.400 --> 0:30:15.920
<v Speaker 1>your power back a little bit? And what we've both

0:30:15.960 --> 0:30:18.680
<v Speaker 1>started to do is, you know, will vent about something

0:30:18.760 --> 0:30:21.400
<v Speaker 1>or be sad about something and then be like, oh, well,

0:30:21.520 --> 0:30:25.120
<v Speaker 1>sucks for them. I'm so fun, and like that's the

0:30:25.240 --> 0:30:28.280
<v Speaker 1>end of it. I'm so fun. I'm such a good time.

0:30:28.920 --> 0:30:32.880
<v Speaker 1>I bring good snacks, like whatever dumb thing any of

0:30:32.960 --> 0:30:35.600
<v Speaker 1>us can think of. And it's funny because none of

0:30:36.240 --> 0:30:37.880
<v Speaker 1>my best friend and like the little group that we

0:30:37.960 --> 0:30:40.120
<v Speaker 1>do this with on a on a group chat, like

0:30:40.240 --> 0:30:42.760
<v Speaker 1>none of us work in the same industries. Yeah, but

0:30:42.800 --> 0:30:45.360
<v Speaker 1>we're all experiencing our own versions of the same thing.

0:30:45.640 --> 0:30:48.280
<v Speaker 1>And I'm just like, sucks for them, I'm a good time.

0:30:48.800 --> 0:30:51.240
<v Speaker 1>And that's then I get a little bit of it back.

0:30:51.760 --> 0:30:55.800
<v Speaker 2>No, great that I'm so fun, Like I was saying that,

0:30:55.800 --> 0:30:58.200
<v Speaker 2>because oh my god, I'm so fun. I'm so fun.

0:30:58.400 --> 0:31:02.360
<v Speaker 2>Because the amount of other talk give ourselves. Yeah, that

0:31:02.360 --> 0:31:05.920
<v Speaker 2>that that closet that like packed full of shame is full.

0:31:06.320 --> 0:31:09.240
<v Speaker 2>You know, it's totally I can just completely rip myself

0:31:09.280 --> 0:31:12.880
<v Speaker 2>apart and take my court and constantly, you know, all

0:31:12.920 --> 0:31:15.360
<v Speaker 2>the all the time, those little things like I'm so fun,

0:31:15.560 --> 0:31:17.640
<v Speaker 2>we just don't even saying it. There's a lot of

0:31:17.680 --> 0:31:19.400
<v Speaker 2>power in kind of putting a label on it, that's

0:31:19.440 --> 0:31:21.360
<v Speaker 2>like yeah, I mean.

0:31:21.520 --> 0:31:25.200
<v Speaker 1>Even in this conversation me to you, I'm like, Tony,

0:31:25.320 --> 0:31:29.320
<v Speaker 1>you're brilliant and like you're a good time, You're a

0:31:29.320 --> 0:31:31.880
<v Speaker 1>good hang. It must be really, it's so nice to

0:31:31.920 --> 0:31:33.000
<v Speaker 1>be smart and fun.

0:31:34.840 --> 0:31:37.040
<v Speaker 2>Take it with you, dub.

0:31:38.880 --> 0:31:43.840
<v Speaker 1>Mercy, and now a word from our wonderful sponsors.

0:31:52.400 --> 0:31:54.920
<v Speaker 2>I like that. I really love you're doing a podcast,

0:31:54.960 --> 0:31:56.480
<v Speaker 2>by the way, because I think you're really good at this.

0:31:56.960 --> 0:32:00.719
<v Speaker 1>Thanks. You know what for a person who's like absolutely

0:32:00.720 --> 0:32:02.680
<v Speaker 1>a little bit on the spectrum, who wants to have

0:32:02.760 --> 0:32:05.400
<v Speaker 1>deep talks and who always no matter what, like I

0:32:05.400 --> 0:32:08.040
<v Speaker 1>would tell I would say like six out of nine,

0:32:08.800 --> 0:32:11.080
<v Speaker 1>six out of ten times I go to a thing,

0:32:12.120 --> 0:32:14.160
<v Speaker 1>I don't know what happens. I don't know if I like,

0:32:14.920 --> 0:32:17.840
<v Speaker 1>if I have a little bit of some sort of

0:32:17.960 --> 0:32:21.440
<v Speaker 1>energy that I can't help but let seep out into

0:32:21.440 --> 0:32:23.880
<v Speaker 1>the world. I wind up in a corner and somebody's

0:32:23.920 --> 0:32:26.440
<v Speaker 1>like telling me their deepest, darkest secrets. We're unpacking what's

0:32:26.440 --> 0:32:29.640
<v Speaker 1>going on in their relationship or with their family or whatever.

0:32:29.960 --> 0:32:33.280
<v Speaker 1>And I kind of love that. But I also realize

0:32:33.280 --> 0:32:36.000
<v Speaker 1>occasionally where I'm like, ooh, I'm having like a really

0:32:36.840 --> 0:32:40.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm having that little like ADHD with the Wing experience

0:32:40.400 --> 0:32:42.880
<v Speaker 1>where I ask a question and I'm like, ooh, the room.

0:32:43.360 --> 0:32:45.480
<v Speaker 1>One other person's there with me, but like the other

0:32:45.560 --> 0:32:47.920
<v Speaker 1>four people in this conversation are like, that's kind of

0:32:47.960 --> 0:32:53.240
<v Speaker 1>a lot. I realized a podcast gives me the container

0:32:54.040 --> 0:32:58.800
<v Speaker 1>within which to ask questions, to let conversations be as

0:32:58.800 --> 0:33:02.840
<v Speaker 1>deep as they want to be. And and I love it.

0:33:03.520 --> 0:33:05.720
<v Speaker 1>I just love it. And like, I don't know, maybe

0:33:05.720 --> 0:33:08.240
<v Speaker 1>it's because I grew up begging my mom to pick

0:33:08.240 --> 0:33:10.360
<v Speaker 1>me up early from school so i'd be home before

0:33:10.440 --> 0:33:14.240
<v Speaker 1>Oprah started, not ten minutes after. It's after her show started,

0:33:14.560 --> 0:33:16.680
<v Speaker 1>so I could just watch her like talk to people

0:33:16.720 --> 0:33:17.520
<v Speaker 1>about their lives.

0:33:17.560 --> 0:33:18.640
<v Speaker 2>You know, that's cool.

0:33:18.680 --> 0:33:19.160
<v Speaker 1>But I love it.

0:33:19.720 --> 0:33:22.000
<v Speaker 2>You always had, you always walk into that permission of

0:33:22.040 --> 0:33:23.960
<v Speaker 2>being like, this is always going to be that conversation

0:33:24.200 --> 0:33:24.800
<v Speaker 2>that's nice.

0:33:24.880 --> 0:33:27.520
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And if it's and if it's light and we're

0:33:27.560 --> 0:33:30.520
<v Speaker 1>like laughing and being stupid the whole time, great. Sometimes

0:33:30.560 --> 0:33:34.040
<v Speaker 1>it's a hybrid. Sometimes it's really serious and I like

0:33:34.080 --> 0:33:35.720
<v Speaker 1>getting to meet people where they are.

0:33:36.200 --> 0:33:40.240
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's kind of COOLT Holmes calls. He says,

0:33:40.240 --> 0:33:42.040
<v Speaker 2>some people have to tell you tell me your pain

0:33:42.120 --> 0:33:47.600
<v Speaker 2>face and I totally just like there's an openness to

0:33:47.720 --> 0:33:50.920
<v Speaker 2>like your face or that it's like people feel free

0:33:51.000 --> 0:33:52.640
<v Speaker 2>to like just tell me the pain, which you know,

0:33:52.720 --> 0:33:56.440
<v Speaker 2>I also really enjoy that. Try not to fix it,

0:33:56.880 --> 0:34:02.440
<v Speaker 2>that's the challenge. That's that's tough. But yeah, it's hard

0:34:02.440 --> 0:34:03.840
<v Speaker 2>for me because I want to be like, oh, well,

0:34:04.080 --> 0:34:05.520
<v Speaker 2>this is what I went through, and it's like, no,

0:34:05.560 --> 0:34:06.760
<v Speaker 2>why don't you just listen Tony.

0:34:07.400 --> 0:34:12.279
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Another one that I got from my therapist, which

0:34:12.360 --> 0:34:15.120
<v Speaker 1>is really good, is when I can feel that urge

0:34:15.480 --> 0:34:20.480
<v Speaker 1>coming to say, quick question, do you want to talk

0:34:20.520 --> 0:34:22.719
<v Speaker 1>about how to solve it? Or do you just need

0:34:22.760 --> 0:34:27.120
<v Speaker 1>someone to listen to the problem. And if I can

0:34:27.680 --> 0:34:32.160
<v Speaker 1>know myself well enough to ask that question, then the

0:34:32.200 --> 0:34:34.440
<v Speaker 1>person I'm talking to can tell me what they need

0:34:36.000 --> 0:34:38.239
<v Speaker 1>and in a weird way, then I don't feel like

0:34:38.320 --> 0:34:40.600
<v Speaker 1>they want me to fix something. And if they do,

0:34:40.680 --> 0:34:42.160
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, you trusted me with that?

0:34:42.920 --> 0:34:47.319
<v Speaker 2>Yay. That's actually I lose that on my daughter. That's

0:34:47.440 --> 0:34:50.759
<v Speaker 2>really in my wife because we you know, like I

0:34:50.840 --> 0:34:53.160
<v Speaker 2>do have that compulsion to be like oh, especially with

0:34:53.200 --> 0:34:55.560
<v Speaker 2>my daughter, like I've been through this and it's like, no,

0:34:55.680 --> 0:34:57.759
<v Speaker 2>I want me do you want a solution? Right now,

0:34:57.920 --> 0:34:59.680
<v Speaker 2>do you want my thoughts on a solution or do

0:34:59.719 --> 0:35:01.680
<v Speaker 2>you want me just to listen totally?

0:35:03.640 --> 0:35:05.680
<v Speaker 1>And it's nice for them, and it's nice for you

0:35:05.719 --> 0:35:09.799
<v Speaker 1>because I get the sense, you know, maybe anxiety recognizes anxiety.

0:35:09.880 --> 0:35:14.080
<v Speaker 1>It's like the less cool version of like game recognizes game. Yeah, Like,

0:35:14.480 --> 0:35:17.880
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, if I don't know what someone needs, I

0:35:17.960 --> 0:35:21.600
<v Speaker 1>actually can get a little anxious listening because I have

0:35:21.640 --> 0:35:23.600
<v Speaker 1>all these thoughts and I don't know when it's appropriate

0:35:23.640 --> 0:35:27.880
<v Speaker 1>to say which one, And weirdly asking them the question

0:35:27.960 --> 0:35:30.080
<v Speaker 1>makes it easier for them and also so much easier

0:35:30.080 --> 0:35:34.160
<v Speaker 1>for me. So it's kind of nice. It's like a

0:35:34.239 --> 0:35:36.359
<v Speaker 1>double gift.

0:35:36.719 --> 0:35:36.960
<v Speaker 2>You know.

0:35:38.360 --> 0:35:42.040
<v Speaker 1>As a dad being in this position, I can't imagine

0:35:42.040 --> 0:35:43.560
<v Speaker 1>what it's like to have a kid that's, you know,

0:35:43.680 --> 0:35:48.239
<v Speaker 1>nineteen twenty who's out in the world. Because to your

0:35:48.239 --> 0:35:53.520
<v Speaker 1>point of course, you want to remove obstacles and difficulty

0:35:53.560 --> 0:35:58.359
<v Speaker 1>from your children's lives, your child's life, but they learn

0:35:58.440 --> 0:36:02.799
<v Speaker 1>resiliency by encountering problems and solving them. And so the

0:36:02.880 --> 0:36:06.480
<v Speaker 1>duality of that, I imagine, two decades into doing it

0:36:06.520 --> 0:36:15.400
<v Speaker 1>is pretty intense. Knowing about your personal struggles with anxiety,

0:36:16.480 --> 0:36:21.680
<v Speaker 1>you know, your your own experiences processing your childhood. How

0:36:21.719 --> 0:36:26.239
<v Speaker 1>do you feel like you can look back at your

0:36:26.320 --> 0:36:28.680
<v Speaker 1>history and then forward at what you watch your kid

0:36:28.760 --> 0:36:33.320
<v Speaker 1>do and figure out how to how to parent.

0:36:33.880 --> 0:36:38.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's a tough one because I mean I wouldn't

0:36:38.840 --> 0:36:40.759
<v Speaker 2>just like both of us, probably, I wouldn't be who

0:36:40.760 --> 0:36:42.319
<v Speaker 2>I am without everything I've gone through.

0:36:42.920 --> 0:36:43.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:36:43.280 --> 0:36:47.880
<v Speaker 2>In fact, like there's no way I would not have empathy.

0:36:47.960 --> 0:36:50.760
<v Speaker 2>I mean all that kind of stuff is the result

0:36:50.800 --> 0:36:53.799
<v Speaker 2>of what I've been through. But it's like, man, it's

0:36:53.880 --> 0:36:56.640
<v Speaker 2>like that that knowledge in me turns off with her,

0:36:57.040 --> 0:37:01.000
<v Speaker 2>Like it's just I just there is a there's a

0:37:01.640 --> 0:37:03.880
<v Speaker 2>when they're growing up, there's a big difference between a

0:37:03.920 --> 0:37:09.240
<v Speaker 2>performance cry and a real cry. You know, like because

0:37:09.239 --> 0:37:11.799
<v Speaker 2>I had that cry, we're just that kind of you know,

0:37:11.880 --> 0:37:14.319
<v Speaker 2>like there's a little bit of like I need some

0:37:14.360 --> 0:37:16.799
<v Speaker 2>attention or I need you know, whatever it's it's but

0:37:16.840 --> 0:37:20.040
<v Speaker 2>when there's a real genuine cry and that you can

0:37:20.080 --> 0:37:25.360
<v Speaker 2>see their feelings will hurt. Oh, it is absolutely heartbreaking.

0:37:25.440 --> 0:37:28.799
<v Speaker 2>And to this day, like when she's really I mean

0:37:28.840 --> 0:37:32.720
<v Speaker 2>she obviously the performance cries go away when they're little,

0:37:32.719 --> 0:37:35.920
<v Speaker 2>but it's like anytime she's hurt or I can see

0:37:35.920 --> 0:37:39.360
<v Speaker 2>that paint. It's just there is Oh, it's just that

0:37:39.400 --> 0:37:42.000
<v Speaker 2>you just want to rescue them, just constantly ecue them.

0:37:42.040 --> 0:37:45.239
<v Speaker 2>And she has got to walk through it, she's got

0:37:45.239 --> 0:37:46.600
<v Speaker 2>to feel it, and I've just got to come over

0:37:47.080 --> 0:37:50.120
<v Speaker 2>her and listen, like to your point and not give

0:37:50.160 --> 0:37:53.880
<v Speaker 2>a solution unless she asks. And man, there's just I

0:37:53.880 --> 0:37:56.520
<v Speaker 2>don't even I don't even know. I just take a

0:37:56.600 --> 0:37:59.279
<v Speaker 2>day to day. I mean, she's actually come home. She's

0:37:59.320 --> 0:38:02.080
<v Speaker 2>been working in a camp as a counselor for the

0:38:02.120 --> 0:38:04.359
<v Speaker 2>past month and a half and so.

0:38:04.280 --> 0:38:08.280
<v Speaker 1>She said, I did that. I loved being a camp counselor.

0:38:08.719 --> 0:38:10.799
<v Speaker 2>She loves it. It was the same camp that she's

0:38:10.880 --> 0:38:13.760
<v Speaker 2>been going to for like ten years. And yeah, she's

0:38:13.800 --> 0:38:17.319
<v Speaker 2>coming home tomorrow and oh man, it's both my wife

0:38:17.320 --> 0:38:20.279
<v Speaker 2>and I are just like we're super but at the

0:38:20.280 --> 0:38:23.719
<v Speaker 2>same time, you want to give them space and you know, yeah,

0:38:23.800 --> 0:38:26.399
<v Speaker 2>it's been kind of in performance mode for a month

0:38:26.400 --> 0:38:28.840
<v Speaker 2>and a half and so like totally have her space.

0:38:28.920 --> 0:38:31.359
<v Speaker 2>But it's just like hei, hi, hi, hi.

0:38:31.680 --> 0:38:32.920
<v Speaker 1>You're like, oh my god, I missed you so much.

0:38:32.920 --> 0:38:34.440
<v Speaker 1>I don't want you to know how much, but it's

0:38:34.600 --> 0:38:35.240
<v Speaker 1>so much.

0:38:37.560 --> 0:38:37.920
<v Speaker 2>I don't know.

0:38:38.040 --> 0:38:38.960
<v Speaker 1>That's so sweet.

0:38:39.040 --> 0:38:42.799
<v Speaker 2>The day to day thing of like just really trying

0:38:42.800 --> 0:38:43.560
<v Speaker 2>to check myself.

0:38:44.160 --> 0:38:47.120
<v Speaker 1>You know, well that and I don't want to give

0:38:47.120 --> 0:38:51.520
<v Speaker 1>any spoilers away to the movie, but you know, also

0:38:51.560 --> 0:38:53.879
<v Speaker 1>being an adult anxious asthmatic kid.

0:38:53.920 --> 0:38:58.560
<v Speaker 2>Who is You're an asthmatic kid, you are too, I know.

0:38:58.640 --> 0:39:01.960
<v Speaker 1>It's really I was like, I could always tell.

0:39:01.760 --> 0:39:04.560
<v Speaker 2>There was something tribe look at it.

0:39:04.680 --> 0:39:09.000
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, but there's like this really cool thing that happens.

0:39:10.600 --> 0:39:13.399
<v Speaker 1>I'm trying to think of how to reflect on it

0:39:13.440 --> 0:39:17.000
<v Speaker 1>without spoiling anything for our audience. A scene in your

0:39:17.040 --> 0:39:22.720
<v Speaker 1>film with you and the wonderful young actress who plays

0:39:22.719 --> 0:39:28.279
<v Speaker 1>your daughter by the lake or the pond, however we

0:39:28.520 --> 0:39:34.719
<v Speaker 1>classify it, and you really see each other and you

0:39:34.800 --> 0:39:38.160
<v Speaker 1>get to explain some things to her and she gets

0:39:38.200 --> 0:39:43.200
<v Speaker 1>to explain some things to you, and it's so beautiful.

0:39:43.680 --> 0:39:46.080
<v Speaker 1>And maybe the reason I thought about it this way

0:39:46.160 --> 0:39:48.920
<v Speaker 1>is because my therapist is really worth every penny I

0:39:48.960 --> 0:39:50.879
<v Speaker 1>pay him. But I was like, oh, this is one

0:39:50.880 --> 0:39:53.960
<v Speaker 1>of those moments where some part of me gets reparented

0:39:55.160 --> 0:39:59.080
<v Speaker 1>by watching a by watching what's happening between a parent

0:39:59.120 --> 0:40:01.480
<v Speaker 1>and a child. Yeah, and I know that when you

0:40:01.600 --> 0:40:04.040
<v Speaker 1>have kids, you know, I've got little kids in my life.

0:40:04.480 --> 0:40:09.640
<v Speaker 1>You get these opportunities parenting them, assisting them that sort

0:40:09.640 --> 0:40:15.480
<v Speaker 1>of reparent something in you. Did this? Did this movie

0:40:15.520 --> 0:40:17.560
<v Speaker 1>feel like that for you?

0:40:18.080 --> 0:40:21.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? It did. I mean the other actor, Q Lawrence,

0:40:21.200 --> 0:40:22.560
<v Speaker 2>who played my son, and.

0:40:23.160 --> 0:40:25.359
<v Speaker 1>They were both unbelievable kids.

0:40:25.280 --> 0:40:30.080
<v Speaker 2>Such good kids. You know, one thing that I really

0:40:30.080 --> 0:40:32.520
<v Speaker 2>connected to was just the dad. There's a moment when

0:40:32.520 --> 0:40:36.759
<v Speaker 2>the dad just says, I kind of screwed up. You know,

0:40:36.880 --> 0:40:43.720
<v Speaker 2>I really really miscalculated how to process this whole situation.

0:40:44.440 --> 0:40:48.360
<v Speaker 2>And you know, I recently actually did that with my daughter.

0:40:48.800 --> 0:40:51.400
<v Speaker 2>I'm talking to her and I remember when she was

0:40:51.440 --> 0:40:52.759
<v Speaker 2>really young and I got kind of mad at her

0:40:52.800 --> 0:40:55.840
<v Speaker 2>about something and it was just silly. I was stressed

0:40:55.840 --> 0:40:57.920
<v Speaker 2>out and she was being a kid, and I remember

0:40:58.000 --> 0:41:00.000
<v Speaker 2>there's just this moment where I was like, you can't

0:41:00.120 --> 0:41:02.360
<v Speaker 2>do this, and I could just see that face in

0:41:02.440 --> 0:41:05.719
<v Speaker 2>her and I said, sweetheart. And today, like when she

0:41:05.800 --> 0:41:07.600
<v Speaker 2>was home, I was like, I remember this moment and

0:41:07.640 --> 0:41:11.040
<v Speaker 2>I'm just so sorry. I was this was so angry

0:41:11.080 --> 0:41:13.000
<v Speaker 2>about this stupid thing, and she's like, you know, Dad,

0:41:13.040 --> 0:41:14.920
<v Speaker 2>I don't even she don't think she even remembered it.

0:41:14.960 --> 0:41:19.040
<v Speaker 2>But you know, you just the more and it's hard.

0:41:19.480 --> 0:41:21.879
<v Speaker 2>It's hard because there's a part of there's a part

0:41:21.920 --> 0:41:24.400
<v Speaker 2>of humanity where you feel like if I I'm that weak,

0:41:25.160 --> 0:41:28.120
<v Speaker 2>then it somehow it's not connected to strength, you know,

0:41:28.200 --> 0:41:30.520
<v Speaker 2>like they're not gonna they're not gonna see me as

0:41:30.600 --> 0:41:32.880
<v Speaker 2>whatever that whatever I think a parent needs to be

0:41:32.920 --> 0:41:35.600
<v Speaker 2>seen as. And it's like we're if they there's so

0:41:35.719 --> 0:41:39.040
<v Speaker 2>much prower in the humanity of like, man, I'm just

0:41:39.320 --> 0:41:42.560
<v Speaker 2>I really I messed that one up, but you know,

0:41:42.840 --> 0:41:44.560
<v Speaker 2>I love you and I'm doing my best that kind

0:41:44.600 --> 0:41:46.960
<v Speaker 2>of thing. I think there's so much power in that

0:41:46.960 --> 0:41:50.319
<v Speaker 2>that I I, even as a parent, still think I

0:41:50.400 --> 0:41:52.560
<v Speaker 2>have to reframe like, yeah, there is power in that

0:41:52.600 --> 0:41:53.760
<v Speaker 2>being that honest.

0:41:53.680 --> 0:41:59.880
<v Speaker 1>You know, absolutely, And I'd wager it takes more power,

0:42:00.400 --> 0:42:09.279
<v Speaker 1>more conviction, uh more wisdom to be courageous and vulnerable

0:42:09.320 --> 0:42:12.200
<v Speaker 1>in that way than it does to do the quick

0:42:12.600 --> 0:42:17.960
<v Speaker 1>to anger oh traditional power strength thing totally.

0:42:18.040 --> 0:42:21.200
<v Speaker 2>And you know, the fact is my daughter is probably

0:42:21.239 --> 0:42:23.440
<v Speaker 2>more than likely probably going to be in therapy one

0:42:23.480 --> 0:42:28.520
<v Speaker 2>day for how having an anxious you know, yeah you

0:42:28.560 --> 0:42:31.560
<v Speaker 2>know who like was playing crazy characters? I don't know,

0:42:31.600 --> 0:42:34.359
<v Speaker 2>but like there's going to be something that is going

0:42:34.440 --> 0:42:36.360
<v Speaker 2>to deal with and of course, as a part of

0:42:36.360 --> 0:42:38.360
<v Speaker 2>me that was like, what did I do wrong? What

0:42:38.400 --> 0:42:41.200
<v Speaker 2>did I do wrong? Well, we're human, you know. I

0:42:41.920 --> 0:42:45.560
<v Speaker 2>there's no perfection in that. You know. That's but that's

0:42:45.960 --> 0:42:47.919
<v Speaker 2>that's kind of a reality. That's like, Yeah, that's probably

0:42:47.960 --> 0:42:50.000
<v Speaker 2>gonna happen. She's going to be in therapy for something.

0:42:51.239 --> 0:42:56.200
<v Speaker 1>I mean, aren't we all? Yeah, it's okay. What do

0:42:56.239 --> 0:42:59.919
<v Speaker 1>you think you know, looking at the kind of land

0:43:00.040 --> 0:43:03.680
<v Speaker 1>scape of what you're processing as a person, what you're

0:43:03.719 --> 0:43:08.120
<v Speaker 1>releasing into the world as a professional, you know, even

0:43:08.160 --> 0:43:10.000
<v Speaker 1>the fact that you're you're about to get your kid

0:43:10.040 --> 0:43:13.759
<v Speaker 1>back from summer camp, Like there's so much happening in

0:43:13.880 --> 0:43:21.040
<v Speaker 1>every sphere. What at this point feels like your work

0:43:21.120 --> 0:43:24.120
<v Speaker 1>in progress, the thing you want to tackle next, or

0:43:24.160 --> 0:43:25.760
<v Speaker 1>maybe the thing you're going to tackle forever.

0:43:26.320 --> 0:43:31.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you know, I got this question recently. Sounds super cheesy,

0:43:31.480 --> 0:43:32.879
<v Speaker 2>but I'm just going to say it. It was during

0:43:32.920 --> 0:43:35.719
<v Speaker 2>an interview and they can ask what's next? They said

0:43:35.719 --> 0:43:40.200
<v Speaker 2>what's next for you? And I said, honestly, now I'm

0:43:40.239 --> 0:43:44.239
<v Speaker 2>going to turn into Oprah. But I said, honestly, at

0:43:44.280 --> 0:43:47.879
<v Speaker 2>this stage of my life, Uh, there's I'm really trying

0:43:47.920 --> 0:43:53.520
<v Speaker 2>to ask myself what's here? Because I don't. I've been

0:43:53.680 --> 0:43:56.000
<v Speaker 2>just for so long. And there's nothing wrong with ambition,

0:43:56.040 --> 0:43:58.440
<v Speaker 2>there's nothing wrong with dreaming, there's nothing wrong than you know,

0:43:58.560 --> 0:44:01.719
<v Speaker 2>obviously planning and looking to the next thing. But so

0:44:02.000 --> 0:44:04.680
<v Speaker 2>much of my life has been devoted to that of

0:44:04.800 --> 0:44:09.200
<v Speaker 2>just thinking next and you know, wondering what's next, and

0:44:09.239 --> 0:44:12.240
<v Speaker 2>I just haven't really taken the time to look around

0:44:12.320 --> 0:44:15.560
<v Speaker 2>and ask myself, what's here? You know, what's going on here?

0:44:15.640 --> 0:44:19.600
<v Speaker 2>What's where am I? Because those times when I do

0:44:19.680 --> 0:44:22.360
<v Speaker 2>that is the things that I actually remember, ironically, you know,

0:44:22.360 --> 0:44:24.000
<v Speaker 2>when I do take the time to look around and

0:44:24.040 --> 0:44:27.040
<v Speaker 2>what's your life? My wife and I joke that we've

0:44:27.040 --> 0:44:29.239
<v Speaker 2>been married for twenty two years and neither one of

0:44:29.320 --> 0:44:33.279
<v Speaker 2>us remember our weddings because we just weren't. We kind

0:44:33.280 --> 0:44:36.200
<v Speaker 2>of remember it, but it's like I was so distracted

0:44:36.360 --> 0:44:39.200
<v Speaker 2>and I was so like, I don't know, just this

0:44:39.280 --> 0:44:41.440
<v Speaker 2>kind of whirlwind, and I don't think either one of

0:44:41.480 --> 0:44:46.239
<v Speaker 2>us were very present. And now it's like taking deep

0:44:46.239 --> 0:44:48.960
<v Speaker 2>breast and kind of looking around and hey, what's here,

0:44:49.080 --> 0:44:51.880
<v Speaker 2>what's here? That's kind of what I'm asking myself. So

0:44:52.040 --> 0:44:56.839
<v Speaker 2>all that to say, I feel like it's been kind

0:44:56.880 --> 0:45:00.040
<v Speaker 2>of going for these heightened experiences, and I've missed the

0:45:00.080 --> 0:45:02.040
<v Speaker 2>power of kind of the every day, the power of

0:45:02.080 --> 0:45:05.400
<v Speaker 2>the power of the ordinary. You know, life is fast.

0:45:05.560 --> 0:45:09.640
<v Speaker 2>I'm fifty four years old. I just you know, started

0:45:09.680 --> 0:45:12.400
<v Speaker 2>when I was twenty five, and it's like it's fast,

0:45:12.600 --> 0:45:15.960
<v Speaker 2>and I just, you know, I I don't want to

0:45:16.160 --> 0:45:19.440
<v Speaker 2>I don't, not in a sense of regret. But I

0:45:19.440 --> 0:45:22.040
<v Speaker 2>think most of the power and life is in the ordinary,

0:45:22.200 --> 0:45:25.959
<v Speaker 2>is in the every day, in relationships, not in these

0:45:26.080 --> 0:45:28.959
<v Speaker 2>big mountaintop experiences. And I'm always looking to what's next.

0:45:29.000 --> 0:45:32.520
<v Speaker 2>It's just not you know. So I as I get older,

0:45:33.280 --> 0:45:37.960
<v Speaker 2>I want the power to really surface more in those

0:45:38.000 --> 0:45:40.600
<v Speaker 2>every day Yeah.

0:45:40.680 --> 0:45:45.560
<v Speaker 1>I love that. What's here. That's a good work in progress, Tony,

0:45:46.520 --> 0:45:47.440
<v Speaker 1>That's a good one.

0:45:47.760 --> 0:45:50.880
<v Speaker 2>It's hard, though, I love it. My therapist says, I

0:45:50.920 --> 0:45:52.560
<v Speaker 2>have to You have to wake yourself up one hundred

0:45:52.560 --> 0:45:56.440
<v Speaker 2>times a day to where you are. And it's true.

0:45:56.800 --> 0:45:58.959
<v Speaker 2>I just constantly to wake myself up because my head

0:45:59.000 --> 0:46:02.400
<v Speaker 2>is somewhere else, Like it's checked into either anxiety, it's

0:46:02.520 --> 0:46:05.680
<v Speaker 2>checked into dreaming, it's checked into whatever, and it's like

0:46:05.719 --> 0:46:07.960
<v Speaker 2>I gotta check in to now, I gotta check in.

0:46:09.480 --> 0:46:12.439
<v Speaker 1>It's beautiful. Where can all of our friends at home

0:46:12.600 --> 0:46:14.120
<v Speaker 1>watch sketch.

0:46:13.719 --> 0:46:20.360
<v Speaker 2>Ye at theaters it opens? It opened yesterday, and uh yeah,

0:46:20.520 --> 0:46:23.719
<v Speaker 2>they can watch it hopefully at a theater. Are you

0:46:23.760 --> 0:46:27.120
<v Speaker 2>it's I think it's opening to like about two thousand screens.

0:46:27.719 --> 0:46:28.319
<v Speaker 1>Amazing.

0:46:28.520 --> 0:46:32.680
<v Speaker 2>So I'm just amazing stoked, and you know, and I

0:46:32.920 --> 0:46:35.319
<v Speaker 2>first of all, I really appreciate you doing this. This

0:46:35.400 --> 0:46:35.960
<v Speaker 2>is so nice.

0:46:36.000 --> 0:46:39.439
<v Speaker 1>Oh my gosh, thank you? Are you kidding? It's It's

0:46:39.480 --> 0:46:41.839
<v Speaker 1>a joy to have you on the show. I would

0:46:41.920 --> 0:46:45.440
<v Speaker 1>like to volunteer myself as tribute for whatever project you're

0:46:45.480 --> 0:46:48.000
<v Speaker 1>doing next, even if it takes eight years. I'm down.

0:46:48.120 --> 0:46:50.399
<v Speaker 1>I'm a real I'm a I'm a like a dog

0:46:50.440 --> 0:46:52.000
<v Speaker 1>with a bone. I can be a pain in the ass,

0:46:52.040 --> 0:46:55.759
<v Speaker 1>which feels like gets stuff made, but also like I'm

0:46:55.800 --> 0:46:58.600
<v Speaker 1>really fun, you know, like a like a fun pain

0:46:58.680 --> 0:46:59.240
<v Speaker 1>in the ass.

0:47:01.600 --> 0:47:04.359
<v Speaker 2>That's so great. I just this is a real gift

0:47:04.400 --> 0:47:05.879
<v Speaker 2>to a lot of people. You're doing this though, because

0:47:05.960 --> 0:47:09.680
<v Speaker 2>just being all these conversations, you know, it's an opportunity

0:47:09.719 --> 0:47:10.840
<v Speaker 2>to kind of get a little deeper