1 00:00:01,080 --> 00:00:04,640 Speaker 1: New week, New Hurdle Moment. My name is Emily Abadi. 2 00:00:04,720 --> 00:00:07,240 Speaker 1: You are listening to Hurdle, a podcast that talks to 3 00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:11,000 Speaker 1: everyone from entrepreneurs to CEOs and athletes about how they 4 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:15,320 Speaker 1: got through times hurdles of sorts by leaning into wellness. 5 00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:18,360 Speaker 1: It's Wednesday, which means it is Hurdle Moment time, and 6 00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:21,040 Speaker 1: this week I am chatting about the thirty lessons I 7 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:24,919 Speaker 1: learned before thirty, which feels kind of like I'm twisting 8 00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 1: the truth a little bit. I uh, my birthdays on Sunday, 9 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:31,360 Speaker 1: I'm turning thirty one, and I'd be lying if I 10 00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:33,920 Speaker 1: didn't admit that I'm feeling some kind of way about that. 11 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:37,080 Speaker 1: I feel like when I got to thirty, I felt 12 00:00:37,159 --> 00:00:41,240 Speaker 1: optimistic and excited and just like the world was my oyster. 13 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:43,520 Speaker 1: And it's not that I don't feel like the world 14 00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:46,800 Speaker 1: is my oyster anymore. I just kind of feel like 15 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:50,120 Speaker 1: thirty one is a little bit closer to forty. I 16 00:00:50,159 --> 00:00:54,040 Speaker 1: will say that despite the uncertainty that comes with adding 17 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:56,840 Speaker 1: another year, I can say for sure that I've learned 18 00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:59,360 Speaker 1: a lot of things along the way, many of which 19 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:03,040 Speaker 1: I would have killed to know maybe five ten years ago. 20 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:06,160 Speaker 1: So with that, said, I'm not going to bore you 21 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:08,839 Speaker 1: too much with rambling this week. You know the Drill 22 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:13,200 Speaker 1: at Hurdle podcast on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. Make sure 23 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,959 Speaker 1: to shoot me an email if you have any questions. 24 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:18,800 Speaker 1: If you also feel a little unsure about getting older 25 00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:22,440 Speaker 1: at Emily at Hurdle dot us and yeah, as you're 26 00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:25,720 Speaker 1: listening today, do me a favor. Post to your Instagram, 27 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:28,160 Speaker 1: share it with a friend, tag someone that you feel 28 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:30,200 Speaker 1: I can really get something out of the pod. The 29 00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:33,440 Speaker 1: more hurdlers in this community, the better, if you ask me. 30 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:49,600 Speaker 1: And with that, let's get to this week's hurdle moment. Well, 31 00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:53,320 Speaker 1: I didn't make a thirty under thirty list, which is okay, 32 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:56,000 Speaker 1: no big deal. There's still a lot of other things 33 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:58,160 Speaker 1: I'm proud of in my thirty years on this earth. 34 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:01,440 Speaker 1: But what I will say is that by now I 35 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:04,000 Speaker 1: can say with some confidence that I've been around the 36 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:07,080 Speaker 1: block a little bit. You know, I've been doing this 37 00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:11,000 Speaker 1: career woman thing for over ten years now, and I've 38 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:15,400 Speaker 1: been on my own being my own boss for almost 39 00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:19,040 Speaker 1: three and in that time, I've learned a whole lot 40 00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:23,400 Speaker 1: about myself, about interacting with others, about how to get 41 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:27,239 Speaker 1: hopefully what it is that I want in this crazy, 42 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:33,040 Speaker 1: crazy world. And so with that I bring you the 43 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:37,720 Speaker 1: thirty lessons I learned by the end of age thirty. 44 00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:39,840 Speaker 1: This is quite the list, so I'm going to hop 45 00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:43,320 Speaker 1: right to it. Lesson number one, Treat others how you 46 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:46,560 Speaker 1: want to be treated. There's this saying that you never 47 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:49,799 Speaker 1: forget how someone makes you feel, and I've got to 48 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:51,920 Speaker 1: admit I think that's pretty true. If you can be 49 00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:55,640 Speaker 1: the bigger person whenever possible, be good to people, hope 50 00:02:55,639 --> 00:02:59,239 Speaker 1: that karma will come back around, I can guarantee you 51 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:04,079 Speaker 1: you will never regret that. Lesson number two tackle the 52 00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:07,919 Speaker 1: monster first. Man. Every day when I make my to 53 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:10,160 Speaker 1: do list, I swear there's at least one thing that 54 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:13,560 Speaker 1: I want absolutely nothing to do with on there. But 55 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:15,799 Speaker 1: that's always going to happen, right There are always going 56 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:18,720 Speaker 1: to be things that feel intimidating and scary and that 57 00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:21,840 Speaker 1: you just don't want to do. The reality is is 58 00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:25,680 Speaker 1: that sometimes you gotta put the hard stuff first. You 59 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:28,360 Speaker 1: gotta tackle the monster before you can get on with 60 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:31,760 Speaker 1: the other parts of your day, and trust me, when 61 00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:36,880 Speaker 1: you do, you won't regret it. Lesson number three sweat daily. 62 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:39,840 Speaker 1: If you know anything about me. You know that exercise 63 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:43,040 Speaker 1: is a huge part of my morning routine, and trust me, 64 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:47,280 Speaker 1: making time to sweat to work out it makes you 65 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:49,680 Speaker 1: feel better, it makes you feel more alert, and it 66 00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:53,400 Speaker 1: makes you feel more productive. For me, I get it 67 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:55,400 Speaker 1: done first thing in the morning. It sets the tone 68 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:57,760 Speaker 1: for my day. But what's really important is that you're 69 00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:00,680 Speaker 1: just fitting it into your schedule however it feels right 70 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:04,080 Speaker 1: to you. You don't need to do whatever activity somebody 71 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:06,800 Speaker 1: else does either. What you need to do is what 72 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:10,400 Speaker 1: feels good for you, what feels fun for you. Trust me, 73 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:13,320 Speaker 1: when you find something you like to do when it 74 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,640 Speaker 1: comes to working out, it's something you're going to stick 75 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:23,279 Speaker 1: with and that is super critical. Lesson number four give back. Now, Honestly, 76 00:04:23,279 --> 00:04:25,159 Speaker 1: I'm still figuring out how this fits as a regular 77 00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:28,200 Speaker 1: piece of my life, but I'm constantly trying to find 78 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:30,320 Speaker 1: ways to give back to the community that I live in. 79 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:33,720 Speaker 1: For a while there, I was running with this organization. 80 00:04:33,839 --> 00:04:36,600 Speaker 1: It's called Back on My Feet. They recruit individuals at 81 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:40,200 Speaker 1: homeless or addiction and treatment facilities around the country to 82 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:42,680 Speaker 1: commit to run three early mornings a week, and I 83 00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:46,160 Speaker 1: was running about twenty blocks north into Harlem to meet 84 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:49,880 Speaker 1: with guys at the Bowery Mission and do some running 85 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:52,279 Speaker 1: up there. That got a little bit difficult to stick 86 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:54,479 Speaker 1: with when I started traveling more for work. But what 87 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:57,680 Speaker 1: I will say is that I try really regularly to 88 00:04:57,720 --> 00:05:00,799 Speaker 1: give back, not just because it feels good, but again, 89 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:04,680 Speaker 1: it's karma. We are lucky to have the opportunity to 90 00:05:04,839 --> 00:05:07,560 Speaker 1: show up for others, to do things for others, and hey, 91 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:09,840 Speaker 1: a little giving back now and then it goes a 92 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:14,440 Speaker 1: long way less than number five. Write down your goals. 93 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:18,320 Speaker 1: I cannot stress this enough. Writing down your goals helps 94 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:21,839 Speaker 1: to remind you of what you are trying to achieve period. Now. 95 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:24,240 Speaker 1: I've heard a lot of different strategies about where to 96 00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:27,560 Speaker 1: write these down. When I talk to Robin Arson for Hurdle, 97 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:30,080 Speaker 1: she told me that she keeps sticky notes around her 98 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:33,400 Speaker 1: entire apartment of different motivation and goals and things to 99 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:36,359 Speaker 1: keep her on the right track. And I totally respect that. 100 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:40,159 Speaker 1: For me, I'm writing down different goals on the first 101 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,680 Speaker 1: of every month, the first workday of the month, when 102 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:44,680 Speaker 1: I'm back in the office. It helps to keep me 103 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,919 Speaker 1: on track. It gives me a moment of pause, is 104 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,119 Speaker 1: I take a look at what was going on last 105 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:51,279 Speaker 1: month and what I hope to accomplish. And then I also, 106 00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:53,480 Speaker 1: as many people do, write down goals at the beginning 107 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:56,039 Speaker 1: of the year, those New Year's resolutions. And what I 108 00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:59,640 Speaker 1: do is I set a calendar reminder in my phone 109 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:03,000 Speaker 1: orderly when I go to pay my estimated taxes, as 110 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:08,600 Speaker 1: responsible contractors do, I also make sure to check in 111 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:11,559 Speaker 1: on those goals. I talked a lot about smart goals 112 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:14,039 Speaker 1: here on the pod, and part of that is making 113 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,800 Speaker 1: sure that they are time down. So a lot of 114 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:17,880 Speaker 1: those goals that I set for a New Year's Day, 115 00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:21,359 Speaker 1: those resolutions, they have a check in point, which is 116 00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:23,280 Speaker 1: for me to make sure that, hey, are you making 117 00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:25,800 Speaker 1: progress and the things you really promised yourself that you 118 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:31,760 Speaker 1: would do this year? Lesson number six, trust your gut. Granted, 119 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:33,680 Speaker 1: there are going to be times that you don't want to. 120 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:35,560 Speaker 1: I feel like that happens to me all the time. 121 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:40,560 Speaker 1: But nine times out of ten, well, your gut's right. 122 00:06:40,839 --> 00:06:43,320 Speaker 1: Whether it's in business or in your relationships or whatever 123 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:46,520 Speaker 1: it may be. You've got to lead with your heart. 124 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:50,440 Speaker 1: You've got to follow your moral compass. Number seven. The 125 00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:54,000 Speaker 1: most powerful words you have in your vocabulary are yes 126 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:57,279 Speaker 1: and no. And the thing about that is for me. 127 00:06:57,720 --> 00:06:59,800 Speaker 1: It took a long time to be okay with saying no. 128 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:02,760 Speaker 1: I'm a person that likes to make everybody happy. But 129 00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:04,599 Speaker 1: I read a quote not too long ago it said, 130 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:08,200 Speaker 1: be okay with saying no and not having to explain yourself. 131 00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:11,760 Speaker 1: There is so much power in that, right. There was 132 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:14,680 Speaker 1: so much power to listening to your gut like that 133 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:18,840 Speaker 1: lesson number six, but also just understanding that it's okay 134 00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:20,960 Speaker 1: to take a step back. If you need to take 135 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,200 Speaker 1: a step back. You won't be able to say yes 136 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:25,760 Speaker 1: every time. You might want to say no more times 137 00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:29,800 Speaker 1: than other. That's cool. Own your power. You deserve that 138 00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:34,600 Speaker 1: less than number eight. Be present in your relationships. About 139 00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:36,920 Speaker 1: a year ago, I had a really long conversation with 140 00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:38,640 Speaker 1: a good friend of mine who told me that she 141 00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:40,840 Speaker 1: wanted me to be more present when I was around her. 142 00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:43,480 Speaker 1: It really hit home, to be honest with you, I mean, 143 00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:45,880 Speaker 1: she told me that she always felt like my head 144 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:48,280 Speaker 1: was in a thousand places when we were sitting right 145 00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:51,000 Speaker 1: next to each other, and that's because I would be 146 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:53,840 Speaker 1: lying if I said that it wasn't. I felt like 147 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:56,400 Speaker 1: I was doing my best, but in actuality I was 148 00:07:56,560 --> 00:08:00,280 Speaker 1: clearly sporadic and so since that conversation, I've made a 149 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:03,640 Speaker 1: really big effort to show up to be where my 150 00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:06,320 Speaker 1: feet are. It was one of my twenty nineteen resolutions 151 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:10,120 Speaker 1: just to be present in business, with my relationships with 152 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:12,800 Speaker 1: my friends. All I want to do is show up 153 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:15,400 Speaker 1: for the people I care about, and there's so much 154 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:19,640 Speaker 1: value in that. Lesson number nine. Invest in yourself. I'm 155 00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:23,600 Speaker 1: a huge giver of my time, of my energy of things, 156 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:26,960 Speaker 1: and it's definitely how I show people that I care 157 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:30,760 Speaker 1: about them. But really, if I'm not willing to invest 158 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:33,280 Speaker 1: in myself, if I'm not willing to give to me 159 00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:35,600 Speaker 1: like I'm willing to give to others, then I'm not 160 00:08:35,679 --> 00:08:38,360 Speaker 1: going to be the best version of Emily that I 161 00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:41,120 Speaker 1: need to be in this world. You've got to invest 162 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:43,600 Speaker 1: in yourself. You've got to spend the time, whether it's 163 00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:46,440 Speaker 1: monetarily or just taking a step back every now and 164 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:49,360 Speaker 1: again and listening to what's going on. That voice inside 165 00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:52,320 Speaker 1: your head that says, hey, I need a break. You 166 00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:59,280 Speaker 1: are worth it. Lesson number ten. Finding passion is important. Now, 167 00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:02,000 Speaker 1: it would mean nice if that passion was at work, 168 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:05,160 Speaker 1: but if it's not, that's okay. You owe to yourself 169 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:08,480 Speaker 1: to regularly find things in life that truly make you 170 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:12,840 Speaker 1: feel ignited, make you feel on fire, and incorporate them 171 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:17,120 Speaker 1: into your routine as much as possible. Every day isn't 172 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:20,480 Speaker 1: going to be the best day ever, But what if 173 00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:23,280 Speaker 1: every day involves something that made you smile? For me, 174 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:26,839 Speaker 1: a lot of the times, that's running or connecting with 175 00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:30,680 Speaker 1: my family or chatting up with my friends. For me, 176 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:34,680 Speaker 1: it's connecting with all of you that makes me feel fulfilled. 177 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:39,800 Speaker 1: That is my passion, and finding that is irreplaceable. Less 178 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:44,520 Speaker 1: than number eleven. Everyone isn't gonna like you. That's hard 179 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:47,280 Speaker 1: to write, especially for people pleaser. You know, if you're 180 00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:50,280 Speaker 1: trying to be someone that everybody likes, you'll probably lose 181 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:52,840 Speaker 1: part of yourself in the process. And I get it. 182 00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:55,840 Speaker 1: It's human nature to want to belong and to be light, 183 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:58,640 Speaker 1: but it's not worth it at the expense of the 184 00:09:58,679 --> 00:10:03,160 Speaker 1: things that make you happy. Lesson number twelve. Jealousy is 185 00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:07,880 Speaker 1: a wasted emotion. It's kind of heavy right, Feeling jealous 186 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:10,839 Speaker 1: feels awful. It doesn't serve our purpose if you think 187 00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:15,240 Speaker 1: about it. Being jealous is like being irrationally angry, and 188 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:18,240 Speaker 1: it gets you nowhere. When you're in a jealous fog. 189 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:22,559 Speaker 1: You probably aren't thinking clearly, you definitely aren't expressing yourself. Well, 190 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:25,000 Speaker 1: oh god, I can only think of the conversations I've 191 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:27,440 Speaker 1: had lately, and I mean, when you feel jealous, just 192 00:10:27,679 --> 00:10:32,040 Speaker 1: try this one little tip. I take twenty, seriously, twenty 193 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:36,400 Speaker 1: deep breaths. Those twenty breaths could take like two to 194 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:39,720 Speaker 1: three minutes. During that time, all I do is I 195 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:44,320 Speaker 1: focus on the inhale and the exhale. It's easy to 196 00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:47,120 Speaker 1: get in your head about things. It takes a really 197 00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:51,559 Speaker 1: big person to accept what's happening, to let it go, 198 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:57,600 Speaker 1: and to move forward. Lesson number thirteen, Every situation is 199 00:10:57,640 --> 00:11:01,120 Speaker 1: something worth learning from. I talk about this a lot. 200 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:04,560 Speaker 1: Whether it's a total win or a total failure, the 201 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:06,880 Speaker 1: things that are going on in our day to day 202 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:10,760 Speaker 1: they happen to teach us something. It takes a really 203 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:15,320 Speaker 1: strong person to understand that when a failure quote unquote happens, 204 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:19,280 Speaker 1: it's not wasted time. It's an opportunity to learn, it's 205 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:22,400 Speaker 1: an opportunity to grow. You know, there have been plenty 206 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:24,360 Speaker 1: of times in my life where I feel like I've 207 00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:27,160 Speaker 1: been totally at a dead end, getting laid off twice. 208 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:32,080 Speaker 1: That's not easy stuff, but those things in my life, 209 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:34,760 Speaker 1: they each taught me that I'm capable of standing on 210 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:37,720 Speaker 1: my own two feet. It's kind of how I feel 211 00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:41,240 Speaker 1: about running. Like when I ran the Boston Marathon. I 212 00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:44,040 Speaker 1: could have been mad that the weather was awful. I 213 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:47,320 Speaker 1: could have been mad about things I couldn't control, But 214 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:49,680 Speaker 1: the reality was is that even though that day didn't 215 00:11:49,679 --> 00:11:52,319 Speaker 1: go as planned, even though I could have viewed it 216 00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:56,360 Speaker 1: as a total misstep, that day taught me that with 217 00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:59,959 Speaker 1: the right mindset, I'm literally capable of anything I see 218 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:04,160 Speaker 1: at my mind too, And so are you lesson number fourteen, 219 00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:08,320 Speaker 1: you are what's happening in your head. The Boston example 220 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:10,280 Speaker 1: is a great example. I could have gone into that 221 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:12,800 Speaker 1: race thinking that I was going to be awful, that 222 00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:14,280 Speaker 1: the day was going to be awful, that it was 223 00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:17,160 Speaker 1: going to suck. But instead I kept my chin up 224 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:19,480 Speaker 1: and I realized that all I could do was the 225 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:21,800 Speaker 1: best I could with what I had in the moment. 226 00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:24,960 Speaker 1: You get to decide how you're going to view what's 227 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:28,600 Speaker 1: happening around you. So if you tell yourself this isn't 228 00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:31,960 Speaker 1: going to go well, then surprise, it's probably not going 229 00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:36,520 Speaker 1: to go well. You want change be change. You want 230 00:12:36,559 --> 00:12:42,120 Speaker 1: to tract light b light. You have the opportunity to 231 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:47,040 Speaker 1: set the stage less than number fifteen. Think of your 232 00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:50,839 Speaker 1: desired outcome. My cousin Mark taught me this a few 233 00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:54,160 Speaker 1: years ago when we were talking about having rough conversations 234 00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:57,240 Speaker 1: with people that we care about. He asked me, what 235 00:12:57,320 --> 00:13:00,360 Speaker 1: is it that you want from this particular talk, and 236 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:03,200 Speaker 1: in order to get to this outcome, what do you 237 00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:06,839 Speaker 1: need to explain or have prepared in order to have 238 00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:10,800 Speaker 1: a more productive conversation. It does feel a little manipulative, 239 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,760 Speaker 1: but it's important to keep your own best interest at heart. 240 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:16,400 Speaker 1: For example, if you want to get a raise at work, 241 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:18,600 Speaker 1: you have to come up with the reasons why you 242 00:13:18,679 --> 00:13:21,880 Speaker 1: are worthy of that raise, not just walk in there 243 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:24,319 Speaker 1: and say, well, this is what I want. With all 244 00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:26,440 Speaker 1: of your goals, with all the things that you want 245 00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:29,520 Speaker 1: in life, you have the chance to sit down and 246 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:33,000 Speaker 1: frame out how can I go after those things in 247 00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:36,880 Speaker 1: a way that's beneficial to me. And that's pretty powerful. 248 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:44,360 Speaker 1: Lesson sixteen. Let the past be the past. Dwelling sucks again. 249 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:47,080 Speaker 1: Everything in our life happens to teach us something. But 250 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:50,240 Speaker 1: if you're sitting in the present, thinking over and over 251 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:52,920 Speaker 1: and over, again. But the things that happened yesterday, about 252 00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:56,240 Speaker 1: the things that happened the day before, well, then you're 253 00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:58,200 Speaker 1: not going to be very present, and that's not really 254 00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:01,480 Speaker 1: going to help you move forward. Let go of what 255 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:06,200 Speaker 1: was and open yourself to what will be. Lesson number seventeen, 256 00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:09,040 Speaker 1: It's okay to take a moment when things don't go 257 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:11,840 Speaker 1: as planned. Man, I can be really hard on myself 258 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:13,959 Speaker 1: about this, But what I learned a few years ago 259 00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:17,920 Speaker 1: I was interviewing don harper Nelson. She is a hurdler, 260 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,720 Speaker 1: a track athlete, and she talked to me about the 261 00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:23,440 Speaker 1: Beijing Olympics when she famously tripped over the hurdle, and 262 00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:26,120 Speaker 1: she told me that it was really hard for her 263 00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:29,280 Speaker 1: to face the press after this experience. She didn't want 264 00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:31,480 Speaker 1: to own up to her mistake, that she wanted to 265 00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:35,520 Speaker 1: avoid the situation. But instead she took her moment. She 266 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:38,400 Speaker 1: accepted that things didn't go as planned, she let herself 267 00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:41,480 Speaker 1: be upset, and then she did what she had to do. 268 00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:44,480 Speaker 1: And I'll always remember this interview because it taught me 269 00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:48,040 Speaker 1: this valuable lesson. It's okay to not be okay, but 270 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:51,240 Speaker 1: it's not okay to dwell in that you owe it 271 00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:53,360 Speaker 1: to yourself, to pick your head up, to learn from 272 00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:58,520 Speaker 1: what's happened and move forward. Lesson number eighteen, handwritten notes 273 00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:01,680 Speaker 1: are golden. I have a very special friend. His name 274 00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:04,800 Speaker 1: is Tom, and he sent me last year a note 275 00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:07,560 Speaker 1: that I keep on my refrigerator that says something along 276 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:10,480 Speaker 1: lines of when we were ten, we talked about what 277 00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:12,720 Speaker 1: life would be like when we were twenty, and when 278 00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:14,560 Speaker 1: we were in our twenties, we talked about what life 279 00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:16,920 Speaker 1: would be like when we are thirty. And now you 280 00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:19,920 Speaker 1: are thirty, and there is so much opportunity for you, 281 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:23,360 Speaker 1: and you are doing so much more than you ever imagined. 282 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:28,560 Speaker 1: A little handwritten note it probably took him five to 283 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:31,800 Speaker 1: ten minutes to pen, but it's something that I keep 284 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:35,440 Speaker 1: with me and meant the world. And that's exactly why 285 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:38,240 Speaker 1: when I was penning my twenty nineteen resolutions, I made 286 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:41,320 Speaker 1: a vow to write two to three of them every month. 287 00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:44,080 Speaker 1: It's really special to have the opportunity to let the 288 00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:46,640 Speaker 1: people that you care about know that you care about them. 289 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:50,760 Speaker 1: Lesson number nineteen. Start every day by making your bed. 290 00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:53,320 Speaker 1: I remember when I talked to Adam Callen. He's the 291 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:56,080 Speaker 1: co founder of Jane Motorcycles. On hurdle. He told me 292 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:58,480 Speaker 1: that this is something he learned early on, because when 293 00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:01,720 Speaker 1: you make your bed, you start off the day with 294 00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:04,360 Speaker 1: a win. You start off the day by checking off 295 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:07,920 Speaker 1: something super simple from your to do list. That's how 296 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:11,240 Speaker 1: I start my day every day, and I suggest that 297 00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:14,880 Speaker 1: maybe you do the same. Lesson number twenty don't get 298 00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:18,920 Speaker 1: back into that bed angry with anyone right at work, 299 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:23,280 Speaker 1: with your friends, with your partner, with your parents, whatever 300 00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:27,120 Speaker 1: the situation may be. Hopefully you have the chance to 301 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:30,680 Speaker 1: talk it out. But if you don't, I suggest maybe 302 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:33,400 Speaker 1: you write it down. I have a gratitude journal I 303 00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:35,720 Speaker 1: keep every day, and I try to at the end 304 00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:39,720 Speaker 1: of the day before passing out, which often happens pretty quickly. 305 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:43,360 Speaker 1: I write down what's on my mind, and if I'm 306 00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:46,240 Speaker 1: frustrated or upset or feel like things are out of 307 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,880 Speaker 1: my control, taking the time to put pen to paper 308 00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:52,880 Speaker 1: just makes me feel as though if I'm getting something back, 309 00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:58,320 Speaker 1: if I'm taking back that control. Lesson number twenty one. 310 00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:02,480 Speaker 1: Always take the meeting. You never know what's going to 311 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:05,160 Speaker 1: happen when somebody reaches out to you, even if it's 312 00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:07,240 Speaker 1: in business and someone's reaching out to you about a 313 00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:10,320 Speaker 1: job that you might not be interested in. The best 314 00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:13,040 Speaker 1: thing you can do is still get to know what's up, 315 00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:18,000 Speaker 1: make some FaceTime connect in real life, there is nothing 316 00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:22,080 Speaker 1: better than one on one interaction, than having some eye 317 00:17:22,119 --> 00:17:25,679 Speaker 1: contact with someone. At the beginning of twenty eighteen, I 318 00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:29,080 Speaker 1: made the resolution that every single week I would make 319 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:33,000 Speaker 1: the commitment to meet with one new person. There's something 320 00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:36,760 Speaker 1: to be learned from every single person that you sit 321 00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:41,600 Speaker 1: down with less than twenty two. Celebrate the small wins. 322 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,439 Speaker 1: I have so many lofty goals in my life. Like 323 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:48,679 Speaker 1: I said that, I'm constantly articulating. But the thing is 324 00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:52,280 Speaker 1: is if you're constantly focused on those bigger picture items 325 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,159 Speaker 1: and the things that take a long time, then it's 326 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:57,720 Speaker 1: easy to get frustrated or lose sight of what's in 327 00:17:57,760 --> 00:18:00,159 Speaker 1: front of you. When you take a step back and 328 00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:04,439 Speaker 1: you recognize the small winds, it makes every day feel progressive. 329 00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:08,080 Speaker 1: It makes you feel good about you. For instance, when 330 00:18:08,119 --> 00:18:11,120 Speaker 1: I was losing weight back in college, every day had 331 00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:14,280 Speaker 1: a small wind. Some days it was okay, I actually 332 00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:17,080 Speaker 1: stayed on the treadmill for a full thirty minutes today, 333 00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:20,480 Speaker 1: and others maybe it was wow, I didn't go up 334 00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:23,959 Speaker 1: for seconds at the ice cream counter whatever it was. 335 00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:26,639 Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. There are small victories in 336 00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:29,640 Speaker 1: every day, and for me, I helped to see those 337 00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:32,840 Speaker 1: by again writing in that gratitude journal, by finding the 338 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:36,160 Speaker 1: good things that make me smile throughout every twenty four hours. 339 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:39,399 Speaker 1: It's a simple, easy thing that takes a little to 340 00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:42,920 Speaker 1: no time that really helps to put things in perspective 341 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:48,280 Speaker 1: less than twenty three smile often. I once talked to 342 00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:50,240 Speaker 1: someone who told me that the first thing she does 343 00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:53,160 Speaker 1: in the morning is literally walk into her bathroom, splash 344 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:56,000 Speaker 1: some water on her face, and smile in the mirror. 345 00:18:56,359 --> 00:18:59,439 Speaker 1: The thing about smiling is it does make you happy, 346 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:01,880 Speaker 1: you know, it does put you in a good mood. 347 00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:08,600 Speaker 1: Lesson number twenty four, Celebrate other people. Reflecting on another 348 00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:12,359 Speaker 1: Hurdle episode with Kirsty Gods Nike Master Trainer, we talked 349 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,840 Speaker 1: about the value of how good it is to have 350 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:18,359 Speaker 1: friends that you can show up for and celebrate. She said, 351 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:21,480 Speaker 1: I remember that it takes a really interesting person to 352 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:23,399 Speaker 1: not be able to show up for the people that 353 00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:25,720 Speaker 1: they care about. The thing is is that we have 354 00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:29,080 Speaker 1: the opportunity to get excited for our friends, to celebrate 355 00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:33,200 Speaker 1: their victories and their wins and that's really awesome. Maybe 356 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,840 Speaker 1: for just a second, put aside the things that mean 357 00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:39,720 Speaker 1: something to you to be there for someone else. They 358 00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:44,280 Speaker 1: will always remember that you showed up, which brings me 359 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:48,080 Speaker 1: to lesson number twenty five, show up. There are gonna 360 00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:50,679 Speaker 1: be days that you're cranky, that you're tired, that you 361 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:53,520 Speaker 1: want to skip out on an event or a birthday dinner, 362 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:56,960 Speaker 1: or whatever the case may be. But again, the people 363 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,679 Speaker 1: in your life, whether they're an acquaintance or a good friend, 364 00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:02,000 Speaker 1: or family or what have you, they're always going to 365 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:05,680 Speaker 1: remember your presence and that you were there. Lesson number 366 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:11,080 Speaker 1: twenty six. Silence is golden. This took a little while 367 00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:13,520 Speaker 1: for me to realize. If I'm being honest, it's easy 368 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:16,200 Speaker 1: to have an opinion, right, It's easy to say what's 369 00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:19,280 Speaker 1: on your mind. But when you let someone else talk, 370 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:22,560 Speaker 1: when you let them weigh in, when you give them 371 00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:26,720 Speaker 1: time to think, it really opens up a discussion. Maybe 372 00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:28,480 Speaker 1: you don't know what you're looking for out of a 373 00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:32,080 Speaker 1: certain conversation, or maybe you just need some time to reflect. 374 00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:36,879 Speaker 1: When you let the silence linger, someone sooner or later 375 00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:40,399 Speaker 1: is going to say something, and it's okay at that 376 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:42,800 Speaker 1: moment maybe not to have all the answers, but what 377 00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:46,600 Speaker 1: can happen in that silence? It's golden. I mean especially 378 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:50,280 Speaker 1: in podcasts, right, It's like you listen and whenever there's 379 00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:56,560 Speaker 1: a pause, you know, something profound, something valuable, oftentimes something 380 00:20:56,640 --> 00:21:00,800 Speaker 1: super emotional. That's what's coming down the pipe. So sometimes 381 00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:04,320 Speaker 1: just keep your mouth shut, you know, see what happens. 382 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:10,680 Speaker 1: Lesson number twenty seven. Be enthusiastic. Lately, I've been revisiting 383 00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:14,080 Speaker 1: this idea of living in and I'll say this kosher, 384 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:18,280 Speaker 1: so it's not censored f yes or f no kind 385 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:20,560 Speaker 1: of existence. That they are going to be things in 386 00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:23,000 Speaker 1: your life that you feel super passionate about and things 387 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,040 Speaker 1: in your life that you're like, eh. But when you 388 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:28,440 Speaker 1: are passionate, when you are ready and you are committed, 389 00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:32,240 Speaker 1: you owe it to yourself to the cause to really 390 00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:35,720 Speaker 1: show up and be enthusiastic about the task in front 391 00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:42,040 Speaker 1: of you. That's a number twenty eight. You determine your priorities. God, 392 00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:44,840 Speaker 1: I can't relate with this enough. I you know, you 393 00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:47,200 Speaker 1: make time for the things that you care about period, 394 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:51,200 Speaker 1: whether that's fitness or relationships, oh God, or dating. I mean, 395 00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:53,760 Speaker 1: you're going to show up for the things that matter 396 00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:56,119 Speaker 1: to you. If you don't make time for another person 397 00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:58,080 Speaker 1: to be honest with you, you probably don't really care 398 00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:00,480 Speaker 1: about that other person. Granted, there are going to be 399 00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:03,040 Speaker 1: situations where you're busy and other things get in the way, 400 00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:06,240 Speaker 1: and that's okay. But when you have a priority, you 401 00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:09,360 Speaker 1: make sure that that thing, that that person, that that 402 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:14,000 Speaker 1: obligation they get part of you. And that also means 403 00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:16,880 Speaker 1: that if someone is a priority and there is a conflict, 404 00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:19,840 Speaker 1: you make sure to find them at another time. You 405 00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:23,879 Speaker 1: make sure to reschedule them. So, for instance, if a 406 00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:27,440 Speaker 1: friend of yours wants to go to yoga on Tuesday 407 00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:30,240 Speaker 1: and you have a work conflict, you don't just say, 408 00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:34,160 Speaker 1: oh sorry, I can't make it. Maybe instead you say, 409 00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:36,680 Speaker 1: oh sorry I can't make it, what are you doing 410 00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:41,360 Speaker 1: Sunday afternoon? Instead, it's a small gesture that goes a 411 00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:44,000 Speaker 1: really long way, and it shows the other person that 412 00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:49,720 Speaker 1: you really really care. Again, this is your opportunity to 413 00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:53,920 Speaker 1: show up. This is your opportunity to make things important 414 00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:57,600 Speaker 1: in your own life. Less than number twenty nine. It's 415 00:22:57,640 --> 00:23:01,400 Speaker 1: my family motto, do good. My grandpa used to say 416 00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:03,760 Speaker 1: this test growing up when it came to anything from 417 00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:07,720 Speaker 1: an exam to I don't know my driver's test. All 418 00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:09,359 Speaker 1: you can do is the best you have. With what 419 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:11,480 Speaker 1: you've got. You can do good. You can put your 420 00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:14,040 Speaker 1: heart into it. And if you do that, if you've 421 00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:17,280 Speaker 1: truly believed that you've given it everything you have, then 422 00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:21,480 Speaker 1: that's all you can ask, you know, unlesson number thirty 423 00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:25,159 Speaker 1: it's okay not to have all the answers. I do 424 00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:28,160 Speaker 1: not have everything figured out going out into thirty one. 425 00:23:28,359 --> 00:23:31,600 Speaker 1: But what I do know is that I'm open, I'm 426 00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:34,760 Speaker 1: ready to learn. I'm ready for whatever it is that 427 00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:38,840 Speaker 1: this crazy city, that this crazy existence is still ready 428 00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:41,840 Speaker 1: to throw my way. It can be frustrating at times 429 00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:44,600 Speaker 1: wanting to know the things that are in set and stone, 430 00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:48,200 Speaker 1: especially as someone who's super type A. But the reality 431 00:23:48,359 --> 00:23:50,760 Speaker 1: is is that sometimes you just got to go with it. 432 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:53,720 Speaker 1: You've got to trust the process. It's gonna happen for 433 00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:56,679 Speaker 1: a reason, right. I guess maybe it's time for me 434 00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:59,080 Speaker 1: to take my own advice. Man. I hope these thirty 435 00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:02,479 Speaker 1: lessons they taught you a little something. My eyes are 436 00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:05,399 Speaker 1: wide open coming into thirty one, and I'm so excited 437 00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:08,320 Speaker 1: for the things that are coming my way. Please just 438 00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:10,520 Speaker 1: do me a quick favor and leave a review by 439 00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:13,280 Speaker 1: clicking the link with the description to this episode. We 440 00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:16,000 Speaker 1: all face multiple hurdles in life, and I want to 441 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,439 Speaker 1: hear about yours. Reach Out to me at Emily at 442 00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:21,560 Speaker 1: hurdle dot us, connect with the podcast on Instagram and 443 00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:25,400 Speaker 1: Twitter at Hurdle podcast. Let me know the lessons you're 444 00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:27,800 Speaker 1: learning lately. I want to hear them. I want to 445 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:31,240 Speaker 1: connect with you. Trust me. One of the best parts 446 00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:36,280 Speaker 1: of my thirty years. It's all of this, Another hurdle conquered. 447 00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:37,960 Speaker 1: Catch you guys next time.