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Speaker 1: Peace of the planet, Charlamagne to God here and as

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Speaker 1: we come closer to closing out this year, I just

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Speaker 1: want to say thank you for tuning into the Black

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Speaker 1: Effect podcast network. There have been so many great moments

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Speaker 1: over the past year. Take a listen to some of

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Speaker 1: those captivating moments in this special best of episode.

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Speaker 2: I Jess, So, I've been dating this guy for about

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Speaker 2: six months, and things just get better over time.

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Speaker 3: I'm going that's right.

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Speaker 2: We always do things to keep the connection there and

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Speaker 2: date each other as if we were still trying to

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Speaker 2: win each other over.

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Speaker 3: To keep the spark. Oh.

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Speaker 2: I like that. That's nice. That's what a lot of

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Speaker 2: these mergers should be doing. Okay, recently, I got back

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Speaker 2: in touch with some good old friends of mine and

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Speaker 2: have been going out a little more than usual, which

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Speaker 2: he loved at first, but now I could tell it's

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Speaker 2: starting to bother him.

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Speaker 3: Just let me tell you this, Jess.

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Speaker 2: I'm literally with this man all the time and give

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Speaker 2: him all of my time every time I do have time,

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Speaker 2: okay time. I just don't understand why this would be

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Speaker 2: a problem. It started about three weeks ago when I

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Speaker 2: came in from a girl's night and yes, a hell

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Speaker 2: but that's what happens when you go out and have

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Speaker 2: a good time.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. I come in the house and the first thing

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Speaker 3: he says to me is you've been drinking. Damn as

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Speaker 3: clear as day. I've been drinking. But why is it

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Speaker 3: a problem? Is what I said to him, And he

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Speaker 3: shook his head and walked off. Girl, completely threw my

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Speaker 3: energy off, so I just went to bed. Another time

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Speaker 3: is when he invited me out to breakfast one morning

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Speaker 3: and I told him I had plans with my friend

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Speaker 3: later that evening. He still had a problem with that.

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Speaker 3: It's not like I canceled on him. I just told

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Speaker 3: him that I had plans that evening, and he completely

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Speaker 3: started giving me attitude, which was really sassy.

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Speaker 2: Hey, don't lessen, ladies, stop throwing a fucking sassy word

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Speaker 2: around for some of these men, because a lot of

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Speaker 2: shit that y'all be saying be sassy, don't ain't really

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Speaker 2: be sassy. Y'all just got a problem with men that

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Speaker 2: have a problem with the shit that y'all be doing.

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Speaker 2: That'll mean the nigga's sassy all the time. Everybody got

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Speaker 2: problems with everybody. Don't agree with everything, but stop throwing

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Speaker 2: that sassy word around that shit, all right. I mean

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Speaker 2: there's some sassy niggas out here, some sassy behaviors by

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Speaker 2: these men out here.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but everything is not sassy.

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Speaker 2: Now. I feel like I have to hesitate to even

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Speaker 2: tell him that I'm going out. But it shouldn't be

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Speaker 2: like that. It shouldn't have to be like that. So

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Speaker 2: my question is, how do I approach him with a

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Speaker 2: conversation like this to figure out what exactly is the problem?

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Speaker 2: Any advice? Okay, so this is not all that bad, Okay,

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Speaker 2: you have like an easier case, I would say, in

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Speaker 2: my opinion, I do feel that maybe because it's so abrupt,

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Speaker 2: I feel like it's probably out of the norm of

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Speaker 2: your pattern, Like you have a normal pattern. It's not

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Speaker 2: what he's used to And this just kind of came

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Speaker 2: out of nowhere. You even said it, you know, you said,

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Speaker 2: I recently got back in touch with some.

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Speaker 3: Old, good, old friends of mine.

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Speaker 2: You know what I mean that you probably used to,

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Speaker 2: like really really run the the fucking streets with when

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Speaker 2: you were single or in your younger days or whatever.

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Speaker 2: You didn't tell me how old you were, but I'm

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Speaker 2: just saying that really don't even matter.

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Speaker 3: But like you know what.

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Speaker 2: Happens when you get caught up with them good old friends.

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Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying. See the keywords is good

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Speaker 3: old Like you ain't.

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Speaker 2: Say I caught back up with my couple of my

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Speaker 2: friends that you know, you said good old friends, Honey,

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Speaker 2: you g O O D O L good old So

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Speaker 2: y'all used to have a good old time everywhere y'all

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Speaker 2: fucking went. I know what that's like, you know what

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Speaker 2: I'm saying. And those are the friends that I don't

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Speaker 2: really hang with anymore. We talk, but I don't hang

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Speaker 2: out with them anymore because I'm not really looking for

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Speaker 2: them good old times I used to have back in

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Speaker 2: the day before shit really started mattering to me, you know,

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Speaker 2: going out, drinking, coming in all hours of the night

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Speaker 2: and shit like that, like, you know, really living life

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Speaker 2: like we was living in college dorms. You know what

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Speaker 2: I'm saying, Like those those things, it sounds like he

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Speaker 2: is just more of a traditional guy.

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Speaker 3: I could say. You said things get better with time.

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Speaker 2: Y'all are constantly trying to, like, you know, reinvent ways

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Speaker 2: that y'all can keep the spark, you know, by by

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Speaker 2: staying in love with each other.

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Speaker 3: Complimenting each other, doing whatever that you guys do.

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Speaker 2: Because you didn't really go into depth with that, but

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Speaker 2: I know what that means. You know, you guys don't

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Speaker 2: want to lose the spark. You're happy, he was happy.

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Speaker 2: But I'm gonna challenge you here because you even told

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Speaker 2: me that he was happy for you reconnect them with

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Speaker 2: your good old friends at first, and then he wasn't anymore.

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Speaker 3: He didn't really seem thrilled about it anymore.

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Speaker 2: I bet you what happened is that you started going

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Speaker 2: out a lot a lot, a lot a lot and.

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Speaker 3: Not spending that much time at home.

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Speaker 2: Now, I also can empathize with you as a woman

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Speaker 2: when you say, yo, I'm around him all the time,

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Speaker 2: like you know, But it wasn't a problem for you

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Speaker 2: until you got caught up with your good old friends,

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Speaker 2: you know. So maybe that can be a conversation, not

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Speaker 2: maybe that that should be the conversation. You know, I

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Speaker 2: spend all my time with you, baby, you know, before

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Speaker 2: even meeting back up with my friends or reconnected with

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Speaker 2: my friends, you know, which you thought was great for me.

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Speaker 2: It was just us, It was you and I it

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Speaker 2: was you know, because I'm like that in my relationship.

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Speaker 3: Now. You know, I don't want to run the streets.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I'll go out here and there, well since

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Speaker 2: I've been pregnant, even doing shit, but before then, yeah,

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Speaker 2: like I'm a fun girl, you know. I do like

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Speaker 2: to hang out with my best friend, my cousins, my homegirls.

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Speaker 2: I have like a very very small tight circle. Everybody

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Speaker 2: doing their own thing. Everybody got their own.

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Speaker 3: Business, everybody work, everybody, you know.

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Speaker 2: But on those times where we come together, we come together,

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Speaker 2: and then a lot of times we double date, you know,

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Speaker 2: and we'll triple date. We'll have game night at our house.

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Speaker 2: You know, y'all just have to come to a medium

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Speaker 2: about it. You know. See, if he's open to like

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Speaker 2: game nights at yall house with your friends, and he

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Speaker 2: has friends, you know, does he have friends that he

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Speaker 2: hangs out with? You know, does he have guys nights

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Speaker 2: and shit like that? Maybe that's also a suggestion that

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Speaker 2: you can have. You know, if he has friends, Yo,

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Speaker 2: how about you you hang out with your guys. I

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Speaker 2: hang out with my girls.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 2: How about we do like a joint thing where we'll

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Speaker 2: have game nights. You know, how about we double date?

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Speaker 2: We go out with my friends and their significant others

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Speaker 2: or whoever they would, you know, unless all them pictures

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Speaker 2: single done as a problem, because that's what his problem

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Speaker 2: at If all I'm single and all they doing is

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Speaker 2: going out, is working and drinking and shit, you know,

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Speaker 2: it ain't really nothing left to do other than getting

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Speaker 2: into some shit. At do you've been drinking? It's working

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Speaker 2: and coming from the club all night. If that's all

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Speaker 2: y'all doing, You know, I'm just saying. I'm just saying

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Speaker 2: so I understand you, but I also understand him as well.

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Speaker 3: You have to give him some grace.

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Speaker 2: You just went from being his being around him so

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Speaker 2: much and you know, soaking up each other's energy. And

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Speaker 2: like how your message started off like I sating this

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Speaker 2: guy for six months and they y'all still early in

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Speaker 2: this shit.

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Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, Like, don't get round your motherfucker.

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Speaker 2: Home girls and had them bitches criticizing your relationship and

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Speaker 2: have you second guessing your relationship. You get what I'm saying,

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Speaker 2: because that could happen to a lot of people. Can

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Speaker 2: be an influence, and these your good old friends. I

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Speaker 2: ain't gonna never stop saying it like that. They your

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Speaker 2: good old friends, Your bitches from back in the diday,

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Speaker 2: you know. And also if they ain't got what you got,

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Speaker 2: then it's going to show you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 2: You on a relationship, you got to remember that at

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Speaker 2: the end of the day, you can't live like you

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Speaker 2: used to.

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Speaker 3: Hey, what's up, Jess.

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Speaker 4: So over time, I date this girl who really like

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Speaker 4: became one of my best friends. My friends love her,

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Speaker 4: and my family love her too. But we never made

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Speaker 4: it official because of different circumstances, like either I was

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Speaker 4: in relationship or she was. And now I think we've

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Speaker 4: got too close to even really be in a relationship.

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Speaker 4: I think there will always be a what if with us,

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Speaker 4: but we both agreed that we will just remain friends.

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Speaker 3: So here's the kicker.

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Speaker 4: I am dating someone new and she went through my

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Speaker 4: phone and saw that me and my friend were more

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Speaker 4: than friends before. Now, yes, I did lie and to

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Speaker 4: say like, that's just my friend, and now she wants

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Speaker 4: me not to be friends with her anymore.

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Speaker 2: I found out, yeah, that she was texting a girl. Okay,

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Speaker 2: and there's another gay story said she was a woman.

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Speaker 3: I dated this girl who really okay.

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Speaker 4: So I'm dating something new okay, and he has her

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Speaker 4: life about me and my friends relationship to her because

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Speaker 4: I feel it's none of her business to know, and

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Speaker 4: I knew she would react. I mean, just like this

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Speaker 4: wanted me to break up the friendship. But what's crazy

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Speaker 4: is my friend is no threat. She's not a homeworker,

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Speaker 4: even if she did have more feelings for me. So

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Speaker 4: my question is what should I do? I really like

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Speaker 4: this girl, but me and my friend been friends, like

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Speaker 4: been friends for like ten years now? Why would I

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Speaker 4: just stop being friends with her?

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Speaker 2: Help me out, Jess, mmit like this, that's a little

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Speaker 2: you have. I've never been in a situation like this,

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Speaker 2: you know, I see mine a little different. Mine is

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Speaker 2: a little different because all right, I'm a share mine

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Speaker 2: a real quick. See, I was dealing somebody and they

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Speaker 2: was intimidated by me and Rome's bond, Like Rome is

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Speaker 2: my beef other y'all, y'all know that Ashton dad and

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Speaker 2: he and y'all know how we are. We're like brother

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Speaker 2: and sister, fucking siblings. Like we're not we're good together,

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Speaker 2: you know what I mean, Like we we're cool.

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Speaker 3: We're just friends like you know.

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Speaker 2: But he liked my family and I talked to him

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Speaker 2: almost every day like you know, and that was an

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Speaker 2: issue for God, like I don't know, like, but Rome

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Speaker 2: is my friend.

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Speaker 3: But it is different because hee, my beef father was

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Speaker 3: your situation.

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Speaker 4: I had a friend and me and him like mess

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Speaker 4: around before.

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Speaker 3: But it's kind of something like we had like.

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Speaker 4: We just never actually made it official his family and

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Speaker 4: everything else like that only with your friends first, and

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Speaker 4: then got into whatever and then he uh dated someone

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Speaker 4: that already was jealous, like that had jealous issues already

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Speaker 4: and his dumbass was like, we'll always talk about me though,

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Speaker 4: so that was probably also sparked like of course whatever.

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Speaker 4: So she found out and yeah, she didn't want him

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Speaker 4: to be friend to me no more. And mind you,

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Speaker 4: I didn't even know he even had a girlfriend. He

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Speaker 4: didn't tell me any of that or nothing like that.

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Speaker 4: It is fucked up because I told him when I

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Speaker 4: got into relationships.

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Speaker 2: Like, yeah, but anyway, your friend liked you, Yeah, I guess,

228
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Speaker 2: but wouldn't he tell you about about his girlfriend exactly?

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Speaker 2: I don't know that was real with him, but whatever,

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Speaker 2: did he ever give you signs that he did like you?

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Speaker 3: Though?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I already knew he liked people were always friends,

233
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Speaker 4: but he was like in the army or I'm sorry

234
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Speaker 4: he's in the navy and I was in school or not,

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Speaker 4: like like this.

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Speaker 3: Is what it is, Like that's my I was gonna

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Speaker 3: love for you, but it's no.

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Speaker 4: So he ended up Actually we didn't speak to like

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Speaker 4: for a year or whatever, and like and his mom

240
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Speaker 4: was mad at him because he's like, yo, she's been

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Speaker 4: like there for you, Like how you just gonna who's

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Speaker 4: this girl to like.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, make you yeah with your friend.

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Speaker 4: Basically they ended up breaking up because she was crazy

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Speaker 4: and yeah, and I tell him to this day like

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Speaker 4: he's the only guy that's like like that was able

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Speaker 4: to get Like me and him are cool. So yeah,

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Speaker 4: but like because he had to like really like I

249
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Speaker 4: knew it was like he really felt bad. He had

250
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Speaker 4: his friends calling me.

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Speaker 3: Like just talk to him.

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Speaker 2: Like you know, yeah, no, I get it because that

253
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Speaker 2: was a friendship.

254
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Speaker 3: That was you know, how long were you all friends? Now?

255
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Speaker 3: Damn it's been like fifteen.

256
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Speaker 2: Yeah, like that, like friendships don't come don't come by

257
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Speaker 2: like that nowadays, you know what I mean. So it's

258
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Speaker 2: always good to have those good people and keep those

259
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Speaker 2: keep those people close. But this this person here that

260
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Speaker 2: that's writing us a story their friend.

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Speaker 3: I feel like they said they were friends for ten years.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but at what point do you feel like this

263
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Speaker 2: this friendship is a little questionable when your girlfriend going

264
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Speaker 2: your fucking phone and see and did they even say

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Speaker 2: what they read?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 3: Well, yeah, you know what I'm saying. I feel like

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Speaker 3: you're leaving out parts of it, like what did they where?

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Speaker 4: You?

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Speaker 3: Are you guys? Flirty? A little bit too friendly?

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Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, because friends need to talk

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Speaker 2: like friends, and you know, and y'all need to sort

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Speaker 2: out what's appropriate and inappropriate in a relationship. Did your

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Speaker 2: girlfriend feel like was y'all weren't talking on a friendly basis?

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Speaker 3: Like it may have been some ship to her like this,

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Speaker 3: not y'all motherfuckers.

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Speaker 2: If y'allin't doing nothing now, y'all talking like y'all have

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Speaker 2: done something before and it didn't work out, so now

279
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Speaker 2: y'all friends like that would make me feel a little

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Speaker 2: insecure in the relationship because.

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Speaker 3: Y'all friends, this is your friend, y'all got ten years

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Speaker 3: of history.

283
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Speaker 2: You feel me like y'all could be sneaking around or

284
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Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying, hot and ship from me

285
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Speaker 2: and I don't know so those type of situations are

286
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Speaker 2: very touchy.

287
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Speaker 3: You know, it's even more crazy.

288
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Speaker 4: The girl the guy was living in My friend was

289
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Speaker 4: living in Hawaii.

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Speaker 3: What the fuck?

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Speaker 4: Like, we're not why you think He's like, we're not

292
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Speaker 4: doing nothing?

293
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Speaker 3: That was so cool? Okay, so that they're so they

294
00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:42,080
Speaker 3: were in Hawaii. No, No, I'm just saying my situation. Yeah,

295
00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:42,880
Speaker 3: that's what I'm saying.

296
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Speaker 2: The friend that she was talking, Wow, from Philly to Hawaii.

297
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Speaker 3: Y'all cheating, Yo, it's calling my phone.

298
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Speaker 4: And he lied to me too, because he was just

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Speaker 4: trying to be on speaking stuff because they ended up

300
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Speaker 4: getting secretly married and all. She was like, he was

301
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Speaker 4: like like leave my husband, like just going off, And

302
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,920
Speaker 4: I was so confused. I'm an asshole too though, because

303
00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:09,800
Speaker 4: like gave me going.

304
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Speaker 3: A night. Yeah, like tailor.

305
00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:28,560
Speaker 2: Why So let's get into it, Taylor.

306
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Speaker 3: What they got to say?

307
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Speaker 4: Okay, he was I'm twenty three. I've been with this

308
00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:35,160
Speaker 4: girl since eighth grade. I cheated on her all through

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Speaker 4: high school. And some girls she knows about and some

310
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Speaker 4: she don't. As far as I know, she's only been

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00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:43,560
Speaker 4: with one other guy. I've seen little ship that makes

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00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:46,320
Speaker 4: me think otherwise. I mean Honestly, I don't care if

313
00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:49,240
Speaker 4: she did back then, because I've been wild with hello people.

314
00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:52,000
Speaker 4: My thing is the sex hasn't been that good. We

315
00:14:52,160 --> 00:15:00,120
Speaker 4: argue a lot more. And the biggest thing is she's dirty.

316
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Speaker 3: Nigga whit What the fuck you means? She dirty? Like?

317
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Speaker 4: I care for her a lot, but I can't tell

318
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Speaker 4: if I actually love her or if I'm just used

319
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Speaker 4: to her, and if I should leave while I'm young.

320
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:14,040
Speaker 4: I'm scared to leave, honestly, because I can get girls.

321
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Speaker 4: It's just trusting these new females has me worried because

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Speaker 4: one thing I can say is if I was to

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Speaker 4: have a baby with the girl i'm with now, I'd

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Speaker 4: be cool. But I don't know if I can deal

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Speaker 4: with getting another girl pregnant. And then I got a

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Speaker 4: baby mama from hell?

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00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:31,200
Speaker 3: What should I do? Oh? Okay, so that's not even her,

328
00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:33,320
Speaker 3: the dirty girl. This is somebody the.

329
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Speaker 4: Baby by baby mom. And then he is a girlfriend

330
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Speaker 4: who's dirty. Yeah, okay, the fat Okay? So what did

331
00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:42,880
Speaker 4: it end with a question? Yeah?

332
00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:45,120
Speaker 3: What should he do? Should you bring up with his girl?

333
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:49,000
Speaker 3: I guess because she's dirty like the fine And.

334
00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:51,640
Speaker 4: Then but then he's talking about one thing I can

335
00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:53,000
Speaker 4: say if I have a baby with the girl.

336
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:57,600
Speaker 3: Why I think about having no baby is twenty three?

337
00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:01,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, because he probably going raw all the time, and

338
00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:03,920
Speaker 2: he knows there's a big chance that he may get

339
00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:06,320
Speaker 2: someone else pregnant. He probably don't like condoms, or he

340
00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:07,640
Speaker 2: just wants some more kids.

341
00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:11,520
Speaker 4: I guess, man, he's saying, like if he's done for

342
00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:12,280
Speaker 4: her or not, I guess.

343
00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:12,760
Speaker 3: I don't know.

344
00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:17,160
Speaker 4: M Yeah, it's going down to pregnant.

345
00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:19,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, so he's twenty three. He been with this girl

346
00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:22,560
Speaker 2: since he was in high school. He cheated on her

347
00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:23,760
Speaker 2: all throughout high school.

348
00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:26,200
Speaker 3: Why do you say she's dirty? Though?

349
00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:27,040
Speaker 2: Is that?

350
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:27,440
Speaker 1: I don't know.

351
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,800
Speaker 2: He didn't give us no context clues, like is she

352
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:35,240
Speaker 2: is she dirty? Like as far as like she's sneaky

353
00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:37,840
Speaker 2: because a lot of men refer to that.

354
00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:39,680
Speaker 3: I know a lot of a lot of guys.

355
00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:44,000
Speaker 4: Maybe like di, she's just not organized, Like maybe she's

356
00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:44,960
Speaker 4: just junkie.

357
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:47,600
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, not a junkie, but she's yunkie.

358
00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:48,280
Speaker 4: Yeah maybe.

359
00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:50,800
Speaker 3: I like because if you with her for that one.

360
00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:52,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, you was where her dirty is all the time,

361
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:54,880
Speaker 2: and now she's dirty, Like, boy, I've been that.

362
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:55,440
Speaker 3: What's up?

363
00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:55,880
Speaker 4: Like?

364
00:16:56,760 --> 00:17:02,240
Speaker 2: So clean me up? That's like, what's okay? So I

365
00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:05,480
Speaker 2: think you knew your answer. It's very simple. I think honestly,

366
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:09,280
Speaker 2: you even saying am I comfortable with her? Is that

367
00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:12,000
Speaker 2: whine with her? Like you know, are we growing apart?

368
00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:14,159
Speaker 2: And shit like that? Like that's basically what you're asking me.

369
00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:17,720
Speaker 2: And then you go on to say you don't feel

370
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:20,080
Speaker 2: like getting to know somebody else, you don't feel like

371
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:23,040
Speaker 2: gaining that trust with somebody new, so you are just comfortable.

372
00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:25,800
Speaker 2: You're in this relationship for convenience at this point, because

373
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:26,760
Speaker 2: you voice.

374
00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:28,040
Speaker 3: Clearly what you don't like about it.

375
00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:31,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, he said, the sex is not good, but it's

376
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:34,000
Speaker 2: the sex not good because you don't wore that fucking

377
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,320
Speaker 2: dick out in all these other boxes.

378
00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:40,320
Speaker 3: Shit, you busy, you busy, honey.

379
00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:42,280
Speaker 2: And then you got a baby mama from hell because

380
00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:44,840
Speaker 2: she was probably one of the motherfuckers that she was

381
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:48,080
Speaker 2: fucking with around on your girlfriend, you know what I mean.

382
00:17:48,119 --> 00:17:49,280
Speaker 3: And then Shorty got pregnant.

383
00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:51,320
Speaker 2: She didn't want to get rid of it, she probably

384
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:53,359
Speaker 2: wanted to be with you, kept the baby to be

385
00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:56,280
Speaker 2: with you, And now you ain't leaving this goddamn girl,

386
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:59,400
Speaker 2: and you ain't even making her a priority. So now, yeah,

387
00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:03,119
Speaker 2: she he's the baby mama from hell. You know, you

388
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:04,560
Speaker 2: also didn't tell me if she lets you see a

389
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:06,160
Speaker 2: child and out or whatever. But you up here something

390
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:10,520
Speaker 2: about another having another baby, because that's what you did.

391
00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:12,879
Speaker 2: You better reread what you wrote because that's exactly what

392
00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:15,640
Speaker 2: she's talking about now. Like I said the Sailor, it's

393
00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:17,760
Speaker 2: either that you want more kids or you just don't

394
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:20,399
Speaker 2: like condoms. You're one of those raw dog niggas, and

395
00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:21,880
Speaker 2: it is what it is. And I don't like saying

396
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:26,439
Speaker 2: niggas because you know we shouldn't these days, but our raw.

397
00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:29,480
Speaker 3: Dog niggas a raw dog nail. You just don't like condoms.

398
00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:33,639
Speaker 2: Tell me if I'm right now, I honestly think you

399
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:34,640
Speaker 2: need to be by yourself.

400
00:18:35,119 --> 00:18:37,680
Speaker 3: You're twenty three. You don't know what you want.

401
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,119
Speaker 2: And the reason why I say you don't know what

402
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:41,639
Speaker 2: you I'm not saying that you're confused about your life

403
00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:44,360
Speaker 2: as a whole, but you don't know what you want

404
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:49,240
Speaker 2: because on one hand, you're comfortable in your relationship.

405
00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:51,240
Speaker 3: You want to be in a relationship, but you don't.

406
00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:52,560
Speaker 2: Want to be with the girl that you're with no

407
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:54,560
Speaker 2: more because you think it's something out dead better you

408
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:56,960
Speaker 2: think there's no fixing which or whatever y'all got. Now,

409
00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:00,439
Speaker 2: if she dirty, clean up pussy ain't good, tell it

410
00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:02,479
Speaker 2: ain't and y'all can figure out other ways to make

411
00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:05,119
Speaker 2: it good unless it's stretched out a place like a

412
00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:07,800
Speaker 2: fucking rubber band. But I don't see that happening because

413
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:10,520
Speaker 2: she's young as well. You say you think she only

414
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:14,120
Speaker 2: been with one other guy, so it ain't the vagina.

415
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:17,840
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe you ain't making how wet. Maybe that's what

416
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:19,920
Speaker 2: it is. Does she know you've been cheating on it

417
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:22,359
Speaker 2: and doing your fucking things since y'all been in grade school?

418
00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:25,040
Speaker 3: Does she know that? Because maybe you don't do it

419
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:27,840
Speaker 3: for her either. Have you talked to her about it?

420
00:19:28,119 --> 00:19:31,480
Speaker 2: But she'd rather stay with show ass because that's just

421
00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:34,240
Speaker 2: what women do sometimes, you know what I'm saying. This

422
00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:38,159
Speaker 2: may be a phase and on the other hand, you

423
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:39,400
Speaker 2: want to do what you want to do.

424
00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:42,560
Speaker 3: And then on the other other.

425
00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:44,600
Speaker 2: Hand, now, because if we on the third hand, you

426
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,000
Speaker 2: got a baby with a spawn of Satan of a

427
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:50,199
Speaker 2: baby mother, so it ain't really you don't got too

428
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:52,560
Speaker 2: much wiggle room, baby, like you should be by yourself.

429
00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:54,440
Speaker 3: To be honest, you should get to know yourself you

430
00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:55,400
Speaker 3: should focus.

431
00:19:55,119 --> 00:19:57,320
Speaker 2: On being a dad, even if you got to go

432
00:19:57,400 --> 00:20:00,159
Speaker 2: through the courts like to be a dad. And I

433
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:01,800
Speaker 2: don't even know if this is your situation because you

434
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:04,000
Speaker 2: just briefly hints it on the fact that you have

435
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:04,399
Speaker 2: a baby.

436
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:07,280
Speaker 3: But you have to focus on.

437
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:13,280
Speaker 2: Preparing for what's next, not the now, because you are

438
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:14,000
Speaker 2: already grown.

439
00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:15,919
Speaker 3: You got to grow the fuck up your father. So

440
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:16,840
Speaker 3: it is what it is.

441
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:21,280
Speaker 2: Twenty three. You're still young, but you're a young father now.

442
00:20:21,359 --> 00:20:23,760
Speaker 2: So just because you're young, don't mean you got signed

443
00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:26,359
Speaker 2: to be a kid and play childish games like sweetie.

444
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:29,479
Speaker 2: You can be by yourself and just be a fucking

445
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:31,719
Speaker 2: bachelor strapped the fuck up, because it's more than just

446
00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:34,800
Speaker 2: babies that can be consequences of raw sex.

447
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:36,160
Speaker 3: I know you know that.

448
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:39,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm just trying to lead you in the right direction, brother,

449
00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:40,680
Speaker 2: because I don't like where you're going. I don't like

450
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:44,240
Speaker 2: where you are. So sit down, talk to your girlfriend,

451
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:48,200
Speaker 2: letting know sheit a little dirty, and you know, figure

452
00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:50,080
Speaker 2: out where her head is at first of all, before

453
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:52,240
Speaker 2: you go to a figure out what you want. Don't

454
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:53,840
Speaker 2: go trying to fix it. If that's not what you

455
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,040
Speaker 2: want to do. You gotta be honest with your girlfriend.

456
00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:57,919
Speaker 2: I don't care if you're comfortable. I don't care if

457
00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:00,440
Speaker 2: it's convenient. I don't care if you know you can't

458
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:01,879
Speaker 2: hold on somebody because you don't want to get to

459
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:04,600
Speaker 2: know nobody new because these holes this and these holes that.

460
00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:08,680
Speaker 2: Nigga you a hoe. So come to grips with yourself.

461
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:12,080
Speaker 2: Be truthful, fix yourself. Then go to your girlfriend and

462
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:16,399
Speaker 2: let her know exactly what it is about her and

463
00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:19,000
Speaker 2: about you, about you, because don't make it.

464
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:19,600
Speaker 3: All about her.

465
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:21,800
Speaker 2: Gods can be very selfish and do that as well,

466
00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:24,480
Speaker 2: and that's why women playing themselves and be all types

467
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:26,920
Speaker 2: of insecure and shit because we think it's us whole time.

468
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:30,280
Speaker 3: It's your ass or it's our ass.

469
00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:33,560
Speaker 2: Let her know, work on yourself, be a dad, let

470
00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:37,119
Speaker 2: her go shit, and just do what you want to do.

471
00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:39,600
Speaker 3: Single. That's it. That's the only way it's going to

472
00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:43,560
Speaker 3: work for you, for her and your baby. The fuck.

473
00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:45,280
Speaker 3: It ain't about the baby.

474
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:48,040
Speaker 2: Mother. She just got your baby, that's it. But you

475
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:51,320
Speaker 2: have to remain cordial enough to raise the child. You know,

476
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:52,800
Speaker 2: he said, well he had a son.

477
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:55,200
Speaker 3: Or a girl. He's insane.

478
00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:58,199
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, if you got to do it, I'll tell

479
00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:00,040
Speaker 2: you right now, you better make it right because you

480
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:02,199
Speaker 2: wouldn't want no nigga playing on her face like that.

481
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:04,840
Speaker 2: And if you got a son, you definitely don't want

482
00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:07,320
Speaker 2: them to be running around all fucked up like you.

483
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:10,760
Speaker 1: Once again, thank you for tuning into the Black Effect

484
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:13,080
Speaker 1: Podcast Network. Seeing you in twenty twenty five for more

485
00:22:13,119 --> 00:22:14,640
Speaker 1: great moments from your favorite podcast