1
00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:04,200
Speaker 1: I refuse to share a wedding with my sister. Now

2
00:00:04,280 --> 00:00:08,319
Speaker 1: the whole family is upset. Sister, am I the a

3
00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:11,560
Speaker 1: hole for refusing to share my wedding day with my sister?

4
00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:14,240
Speaker 1: I twenty seven female, have wanted to be married to

5
00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:17,480
Speaker 1: my fiance, twenty eight male for years, and we finally

6
00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:21,040
Speaker 1: started planning our big day. However, my sister, twenty five females,

7
00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:24,280
Speaker 1: suddenly announced plans for her own wedding on the very

8
00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:25,640
Speaker 1: same day.

9
00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:26,560
Speaker 2: Ooh boy.

10
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:29,440
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from I love frogs and

11
00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:32,960
Speaker 1: dogs on our slash okay storytime separate it. So I

12
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:37,280
Speaker 1: was shocked and hurt, especially since she never showed any

13
00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:40,160
Speaker 1: interest in marrying her partner before. Is that your shocked

14
00:00:40,159 --> 00:00:43,680
Speaker 1: and hurt face? Yes, I'm imagining ope perfectly. Really paint

15
00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:45,920
Speaker 1: a picture. I told her it's wrong for her to

16
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:49,080
Speaker 1: try and share the spotlight, but she insists it's a

17
00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:52,280
Speaker 1: coincidence and she didn't know. My fiance and I have

18
00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:54,680
Speaker 1: been together for five years and it was always clear

19
00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:57,640
Speaker 1: that a big wedding was my dream. I've planned every

20
00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:00,760
Speaker 1: detail from the venue to the dress, making sure it's perfect.

21
00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:03,760
Speaker 1: My sister's sudden plan made me feel like she's trying

22
00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:07,080
Speaker 1: to overshadow me on my special day. Everyone keeps suggesting

23
00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:09,880
Speaker 1: that we merge the weddings, but I can't.

24
00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:12,119
Speaker 2: Stand the idea of sharing the spot light.

25
00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:14,360
Speaker 1: I tried to talk it out with her, but she

26
00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:18,360
Speaker 1: dismisses my feelings and says, I'm being selfish. I just

27
00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:21,640
Speaker 1: want one day that's all about me and my partners.

28
00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:24,240
Speaker 3: That so much to add impossible, you can't have it.

29
00:01:24,319 --> 00:01:28,039
Speaker 1: My sister has always been the golden child. Everything has

30
00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:30,560
Speaker 1: come so easily to her. She has no idea how

31
00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:33,839
Speaker 1: much planning goes into a wedding, and suddenly she's claiming

32
00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:36,800
Speaker 1: to have everything arranged for the same day. I feel

33
00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:39,720
Speaker 1: like she's trying to take away my moment, the one

34
00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:43,920
Speaker 1: day I've been dreaming about for so long. Am I

35
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,760
Speaker 1: the a hole for not wanting this to be my

36
00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:49,560
Speaker 1: own special day? Shouldn't a sister respect my feelings and

37
00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:52,920
Speaker 1: find her own day for her wedding. Yes, I've made

38
00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:57,200
Speaker 1: all the arrangements for my wedding day, including booking the fenders.

39
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,560
Speaker 2: The caterers, and my actual venue.

40
00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:02,600
Speaker 1: I even talk to her husband, who was completely in

41
00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:06,440
Speaker 1: the dark about my sister's plans. I've put down significant

42
00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:08,680
Speaker 1: non refundable deposits, and changing the.

43
00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:10,880
Speaker 2: Date now would cost me a fortune.

44
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:14,120
Speaker 1: Despite this, my sister insists that we share the wedding day,

45
00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:17,560
Speaker 1: dismissing all the effort and money I've insisted in making

46
00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:20,919
Speaker 1: it my dream wedding. She keeps saying we can merge

47
00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:24,560
Speaker 1: the weddings and have one big celebration, but I refuse

48
00:02:24,639 --> 00:02:28,320
Speaker 1: to compromise my vision for her sudden urge to get married.

49
00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:29,160
Speaker 2: The thought of.

50
00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:31,720
Speaker 1: Sharing my special day with her, having to split attention

51
00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:35,520
Speaker 1: and resources feels like a nightmare. She claims it's a

52
00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:38,400
Speaker 1: coincidence that she picks the same date, but I can't

53
00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:40,760
Speaker 1: help but notice how convenient it is for her to

54
00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:44,600
Speaker 1: piggyback off all my planning. Her nonchalance over my hard

55
00:02:44,639 --> 00:02:47,679
Speaker 1: work and investments is infuriating.

56
00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:50,640
Speaker 2: Why does she need to do this on my day?

57
00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:53,400
Speaker 1: My parents keep trying to reason with me, saying that

58
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:54,600
Speaker 1: it would be practical and.

59
00:02:54,639 --> 00:02:57,480
Speaker 2: Efficient to have the siblings wedding on the same day.

60
00:02:57,639 --> 00:02:59,919
Speaker 1: They keep pointing out the money that we could save

61
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:03,240
Speaker 1: by combining the events, but they're missing the points.

62
00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:05,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, I keep pointing out how dumb you are, and

63
00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:07,000
Speaker 4: you still don't get that.

64
00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:08,400
Speaker 3: Now, No, Yeah, I've.

65
00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:10,519
Speaker 2: Been dreaming about this day since I was a little girl.

66
00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:11,480
Speaker 2: I don't want to.

67
00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:15,120
Speaker 1: Share with anyone, especially not my sister, who has always

68
00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:18,840
Speaker 1: overshadowed me. I want to be a center of attention

69
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:22,600
Speaker 1: for once illegal My parents don't seem to understand the

70
00:03:22,639 --> 00:03:25,160
Speaker 1: importance of this to me. My partner tries to be

71
00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:28,360
Speaker 1: supportive but struggles to understand the depth of my feelings.

72
00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:31,440
Speaker 1: He thinks I'm being overly dramatic and should be happy

73
00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:34,200
Speaker 1: for my sister. He says it's just a day, but

74
00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:37,160
Speaker 1: to me, it's a lifelong dream. Saying it's just a

75
00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:39,480
Speaker 1: day to your wedding.

76
00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:41,000
Speaker 3: You know what else is just a day your funeral?

77
00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:41,640
Speaker 3: There you go.

78
00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:46,160
Speaker 1: Despite my explanation, he seems more worried about not rocking

79
00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:49,240
Speaker 1: the family boat. He wants to keep everyone happy, but

80
00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:52,800
Speaker 1: I don't think he understands how hurt and overlooked eye feel.

81
00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:55,320
Speaker 4: Who's going to care that they have two separate weddings,

82
00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:56,800
Speaker 4: That's what everyone expects.

83
00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,400
Speaker 1: I feel like parents would know how big a deal

84
00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:02,400
Speaker 1: this is, and like, you know, like want this to

85
00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:03,640
Speaker 1: be two different days.

86
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:06,520
Speaker 3: It proves that the sisters are golden child like. It's

87
00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:07,440
Speaker 3: super clear.

88
00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:08,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, that is very true.

89
00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:11,920
Speaker 1: I also wonder like what the parent's wedding was like

90
00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:13,840
Speaker 1: and if it was just like a courtroom thing or

91
00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:15,280
Speaker 1: something just like save money.

92
00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:18,000
Speaker 4: I think these type of people they just they're able

93
00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:21,640
Speaker 4: to do such mental gymnastics that they just like convince

94
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:24,600
Speaker 4: themselves through methods unknown.

95
00:04:24,839 --> 00:04:26,640
Speaker 3: It's truly remarkable, it really is.

96
00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:33,240
Speaker 1: Second update, Wow, things have escalated after the whole wedding debacle.

97
00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:37,520
Speaker 1: My family seems to be taking sides. Several relatives have

98
00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:40,680
Speaker 1: actually chosen to drop out of my wedding and attend

99
00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:44,120
Speaker 1: my sisters instead. Even my maid of honor, the person

100
00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:47,080
Speaker 1: who's been on my side through all my wedding planning,

101
00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:50,400
Speaker 1: has decided to be a bridesmaid at my sister's wedding.

102
00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:53,360
Speaker 1: This feels like a slap in the face. It's not

103
00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:55,960
Speaker 1: just a date conflict anymore. It feels like an attack

104
00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:59,240
Speaker 1: on everything I had planned and hoped for. Now my

105
00:04:59,279 --> 00:05:02,560
Speaker 1: wedding feels like it's falling apart. All the planning, the

106
00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:06,680
Speaker 1: careful choices, the dreams for the perfect day, they're crumbling.

107
00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:10,400
Speaker 1: My family's support has vanished, and my closest friend, my

108
00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:13,400
Speaker 1: maid of honor, has turned on me.

109
00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:14,040
Speaker 3: Wow.

110
00:05:14,279 --> 00:05:16,920
Speaker 2: My fiance keeps trying to soothe me, saying it's not

111
00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:18,920
Speaker 2: the end of the world. But he doesn't get it.

112
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,920
Speaker 2: Why does no one understand the importance.

113
00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:21,000
Speaker 5: Of a wedding.

114
00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:23,400
Speaker 4: Also, I don't know why I keep miss hearing words.

115
00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:25,320
Speaker 4: But I thought you said instead of soothed me. I

116
00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:28,640
Speaker 4: thought you said, sue me. You know, no, hope, he

117
00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:31,359
Speaker 4: spent through enough. But he's still saying it's not the

118
00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:33,400
Speaker 4: end of the world. We still have so much more

119
00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:35,719
Speaker 4: to this. But here's what I think should happen.

120
00:05:35,839 --> 00:05:38,680
Speaker 1: I think, op, he should be like, Okay, well, if

121
00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:41,120
Speaker 1: you want to have your own wedding and steal all

122
00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:43,599
Speaker 1: of our family guests to it, then you should pay

123
00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:47,159
Speaker 1: me back for all of the non refundable deposits I've

124
00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:49,600
Speaker 1: made for my wedding. Boom, there you go, win win.

125
00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:51,640
Speaker 1: She gets her money, she gets her wedding. I mean,

126
00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:54,000
Speaker 1: she also spends way more money, but that's on her.

127
00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:57,479
Speaker 4: And then you she's gonna do it again, right because

128
00:05:57,680 --> 00:05:59,559
Speaker 4: she's crazy, So she's gonna do another wedding.

129
00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:02,000
Speaker 3: And you're like, Okay, that all good.

130
00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:06,800
Speaker 4: Just again, repay me all of the non refundable and

131
00:06:06,839 --> 00:06:09,360
Speaker 4: just bleed her dry.

132
00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:11,680
Speaker 2: He doesn't see how betrayed.

133
00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:14,880
Speaker 1: I feel how every happy memory I planned to make

134
00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:18,840
Speaker 1: on my wedding day is being overshadowed by hurt and disappointment.

135
00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:22,520
Speaker 1: And my sister, she just keeps talking about how perfect

136
00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:25,240
Speaker 1: her happy accident of a wedding is going to be,

137
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:29,200
Speaker 1: her happy accident. She acts like she's the star of

138
00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:31,920
Speaker 1: a fairy tale and I'm just in the way. She

139
00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:34,320
Speaker 1: doesn't seem to care that my family is abandoning me,

140
00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:39,040
Speaker 1: that my wedding is crumbling. She's enjoying the attention, relishing

141
00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:41,919
Speaker 1: in the spotlight, and it's driving me insane. And the

142
00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:46,200
Speaker 1: worst part is people are rallying around her, congratulating her,

143
00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:50,720
Speaker 1: telling her how wonderful everything is. Meanwhile, my feelings and

144
00:06:50,839 --> 00:06:52,440
Speaker 1: dreams are dismissed.

145
00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:57,800
Speaker 2: But John, guess what what? There is yet another update.

146
00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,880
Speaker 3: I can't handle it neither, So.

147
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,520
Speaker 2: Update number three. Things have gone from bad to worse.

148
00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:06,640
Speaker 4: I was already before when OPI was like, somehow it

149
00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:08,400
Speaker 4: all got worse? I'm like, Opie, how can it get

150
00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:11,120
Speaker 4: positive get worse? Now you say that all goes back doors, Opie,

151
00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:14,760
Speaker 4: I don't know what is left that hasn't already gone wrong.

152
00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:18,040
Speaker 1: Not only has my family sided with my sister. But

153
00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:22,200
Speaker 1: now some of my extended family members have started commenting

154
00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:26,720
Speaker 1: on social media, calling me selfish and dramatic for not

155
00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:29,320
Speaker 1: letting my sister have the wedding on the same date.

156
00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:32,960
Speaker 2: I still can't believe this is happening. My special day.

157
00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:35,520
Speaker 1: Is being ruined, and now people are turning on me

158
00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:37,360
Speaker 1: for standing up for what I want.

159
00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:40,400
Speaker 2: It's infuriating my partner.

160
00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:45,360
Speaker 1: My fiance has been a constant source of frustration throughout

161
00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:46,120
Speaker 1: this ordeal.

162
00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:48,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, because he was all like, it's just a day.

163
00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:49,720
Speaker 2: It's fine, you.

164
00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:51,920
Speaker 3: May give me. That's not just a day. That's the

165
00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:53,720
Speaker 3: best day of your freaking life.

166
00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:55,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, Oh my gosh.

167
00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:58,000
Speaker 1: He claims that he wants to support me, but every

168
00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:01,400
Speaker 1: time I express my disappointment or anger, he calls me

169
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:04,360
Speaker 1: over dramatic and he tells me to just get over

170
00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:06,920
Speaker 1: it and move on, like I'm just being silly for

171
00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:07,960
Speaker 1: caring so much.

172
00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:10,880
Speaker 4: We have had unreliable narrators before, where they spin a

173
00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:14,040
Speaker 4: whole tale and then someone's like, oh, I'm the sister

174
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:16,840
Speaker 4: entering the chat, and actually the sister did this to me,

175
00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:19,360
Speaker 4: but she just wanted to like be like see or whatever.

176
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,440
Speaker 1: But I really hope that that's what happens. I really

177
00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:23,880
Speaker 1: hope there's another update and it's from the sister's perspective, but.

178
00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:24,240
Speaker 2: I don't know.

179
00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:26,520
Speaker 1: Let's see, he keeps saying that it's not that big

180
00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:29,800
Speaker 1: of a deal because we have our whole lives together afterward.

181
00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:31,920
Speaker 2: But it's not just about the date.

182
00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:35,400
Speaker 1: It's about feeling like an afterthought, Like my own sister

183
00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:36,760
Speaker 1: is stealing my moment.

184
00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:40,199
Speaker 2: But you know who would never ever steal your moment

185
00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:42,400
Speaker 2: in the whole wide world? Woo us?

186
00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:42,920
Speaker 1: Yeah?

187
00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:44,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, because you know why?

188
00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:48,040
Speaker 1: Why Because we're live on YouTube and Facebook and TikTok

189
00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:50,840
Speaker 1: every single weekday and all you have to do is

190
00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:52,679
Speaker 1: tap our profile and you can join us.

191
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:54,520
Speaker 2: And that three PMPSD might I.

192
00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:56,000
Speaker 3: Act can't forget that.

193
00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:59,599
Speaker 1: But yeah, there's a bit more. But what do we

194
00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:01,280
Speaker 1: think about the husbands right now?

195
00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:01,800
Speaker 3: Divorce?

196
00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:05,600
Speaker 4: Everybody divorce the husband, divorce the family.

197
00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:07,000
Speaker 3: It's exactly what Opie said.

198
00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:09,839
Speaker 4: It's like I feel like an afterthought, and it's like

199
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:11,319
Speaker 4: this is your wedding.

200
00:09:11,559 --> 00:09:12,079
Speaker 2: I feel like.

201
00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:15,040
Speaker 1: There's so many situations where you can be over dramatic

202
00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:17,000
Speaker 1: and like you can be like no, but like I

203
00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:19,360
Speaker 1: want this, you know, and like I want it to

204
00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:22,600
Speaker 1: be this way and everyone else is wrong and whatever,

205
00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:25,440
Speaker 1: this is your wedding, you know, it's like you you

206
00:09:25,559 --> 00:09:27,440
Speaker 1: deserve to say that you want to be the star

207
00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:28,199
Speaker 1: of the show.

208
00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:32,200
Speaker 4: And like it's not even like Opie's like, oh, everyone

209
00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:37,200
Speaker 4: has to, you know, wear a giant marshmallow and we

210
00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:40,679
Speaker 4: have to like, I don't know, do this like dance

211
00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:43,360
Speaker 4: that makes us all sweaty. I don't know, like Opie's

212
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:47,000
Speaker 4: just like I simply just want to have a celebration

213
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:51,080
Speaker 4: that I don't have to split half of the attention

214
00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:54,200
Speaker 4: but realistically all with someone else. It is literally the

215
00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:57,800
Speaker 4: most basic necessities and these people can't even do that. Opie,

216
00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:00,080
Speaker 4: you need to divorce everyone, and Rue is f as

217
00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:02,000
Speaker 4: you can run away girl.

218
00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:05,400
Speaker 1: As for my sister's husband to be, he seems completely

219
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:09,040
Speaker 1: clueless about the drama unfolding around him. He is more

220
00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:11,840
Speaker 1: focused on his own interests and doesn't seem to see

221
00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:16,120
Speaker 1: the impact his fiance's actions are having. He is blissfully unaware,

222
00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:19,480
Speaker 1: going on about his day life while our family is

223
00:10:19,559 --> 00:10:22,880
Speaker 1: at each other's throats because of his bride to Bee's decision.

224
00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:26,960
Speaker 1: It's almost as if he's living in a bubble, ignorant

225
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,880
Speaker 1: to the storm he has unknowingly contributed to.

226
00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:31,040
Speaker 2: And that's it.

227
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:32,480
Speaker 3: That was painful.

228
00:10:32,679 --> 00:10:35,280
Speaker 1: Move to a new country, change your name, and then

229
00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:38,200
Speaker 1: you'll fall in love, just like all those like Hallmark movies.

230
00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:39,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, disactly.

231
00:10:39,559 --> 00:10:43,040
Speaker 1: You can write a movie, become an amazing director, and

232
00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:45,120
Speaker 1: then I'm just seeing this whole life for you.

233
00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:45,960
Speaker 3: Go be a movie star.

234
00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:47,320
Speaker 2: But that's the end of the story.

235
00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:51,840
Speaker 1: My little brother is sec so I stopped talking him.

236
00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:55,400
Speaker 3: Boy bye for you see you later.

237
00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:59,520
Speaker 1: So I eighteen female to male, have a brother fifteen

238
00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:02,880
Speaker 1: male who was always trying to be different in old school.

239
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:05,760
Speaker 1: People like my grandparents like to say, oh, he's an

240
00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:09,480
Speaker 1: old soul, you know, one of those there's nothing wrong

241
00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:11,720
Speaker 1: with that. But he has the tendency to be really

242
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:15,400
Speaker 1: misogynistic and sexist. By the way, this comes from deleted

243
00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:18,679
Speaker 1: on the r slash Okay storytime separated. So, for example,

244
00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:21,040
Speaker 1: when I came out as trans to the family, I

245
00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:22,480
Speaker 1: wasn't expecting a big thing.

246
00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:24,280
Speaker 2: All I wanted was to be accepted.

247
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:27,240
Speaker 1: I didn't want a cake or party or anything like that,

248
00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:28,160
Speaker 1: and I didn't get one.

249
00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:31,520
Speaker 2: A simple okay, if you need something, let me know

250
00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:33,480
Speaker 2: from my mom, and that was it.

251
00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:34,079
Speaker 3: That was it.

252
00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:35,240
Speaker 2: That's all you need.

253
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:38,440
Speaker 1: But my brother made a big deal out of it.

254
00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:42,880
Speaker 1: This was three years ago, and every week he asks me, oh,

255
00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:46,160
Speaker 1: you still a boy? Or are you like a helicopter?

256
00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:49,160
Speaker 3: Excuse me, sir? Or what are you today?

257
00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:51,880
Speaker 2: A fish or something? At first I thought he was.

258
00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:53,960
Speaker 1: Just being a brother and annoying me, but then I

259
00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:57,640
Speaker 1: realized the tone under it was actually pretty nasty. Also,

260
00:11:57,960 --> 00:12:01,959
Speaker 1: I am not exaggerating when I say every week. Now,

261
00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:05,400
Speaker 1: I could be overthinking it, but it doesn't stop there.

262
00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:09,280
Speaker 1: When I first got together with my boyfriend eighteen mail,

263
00:12:09,679 --> 00:12:12,199
Speaker 1: the first thing my brother said was, oh.

264
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,800
Speaker 2: Does he know that you're not a real boy?

265
00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:15,400
Speaker 3: He probably likes that.

266
00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:18,000
Speaker 1: Every time I bring home a friend, I get a

267
00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:21,320
Speaker 1: comment along the lines of are they like gender bending

268
00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:24,199
Speaker 1: or something? Or is that a real boy or girl?

269
00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:27,440
Speaker 1: And he says it like it's a disgusting thing. And

270
00:12:27,559 --> 00:12:29,920
Speaker 1: I can be looking too deep into it, but it's

271
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:32,440
Speaker 1: getting old, and when I try to talk to him

272
00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:34,240
Speaker 1: about it, I get labeled as being.

273
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,840
Speaker 2: Too woke, too sensitive.

274
00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:39,560
Speaker 1: It's not like it's giving me mental breakdowns, but it's annoying.

275
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:43,720
Speaker 1: What does hurt is the constant use of my dead name,

276
00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:45,960
Speaker 1: not just in public, situations.

277
00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:47,319
Speaker 2: But home and literally everywhere.

278
00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:50,480
Speaker 1: When I correct him, I get I'm not calling you that,

279
00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:51,760
Speaker 1: And he even.

280
00:12:51,559 --> 00:12:54,240
Speaker 2: Said the classic is just a phase.

281
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:57,600
Speaker 1: Literally two days ago, when I corrected him on my name,

282
00:12:57,679 --> 00:12:58,400
Speaker 1: I got hit with.

283
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:01,920
Speaker 2: Oh my god, another FWES girl.

284
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:05,640
Speaker 1: No, it's been the same for three years, and it's

285
00:13:05,679 --> 00:13:07,480
Speaker 1: not like I'm pushing it down his throat.

286
00:13:07,559 --> 00:13:09,960
Speaker 2: I just want him to be respectful. I don't care

287
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:11,040
Speaker 2: if he likes it or not.

288
00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:13,560
Speaker 1: I don't care if he trashes me behind my back,

289
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:15,520
Speaker 1: but I just want him to be nice to me

290
00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:17,280
Speaker 1: to my face for once.

291
00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:17,880
Speaker 2: Anyway.

292
00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:20,959
Speaker 1: Other than attempt to correct him every few months or so,

293
00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:24,480
Speaker 1: I just leave it so I don't cause a massive scene.

294
00:13:24,559 --> 00:13:28,480
Speaker 1: Plus I'm eighteen, he's fifteen. I'm hoping that if I

295
00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:32,240
Speaker 1: ignore it, heill mature. I know he's still developing, etc.

296
00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:36,120
Speaker 1: Up until last night, that worked. But I walked into

297
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:39,360
Speaker 1: the kitchen to make myself some dinner, a toasty because

298
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:42,080
Speaker 1: who the heck has time to cook a whole meal

299
00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:42,679
Speaker 1: at ten pm?

300
00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:46,360
Speaker 2: And my brother literally out of nowhere for real.

301
00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:50,720
Speaker 1: No one asks, starts talking about wanting to be amish.

302
00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:51,480
Speaker 2: What's wait?

303
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:55,360
Speaker 3: What actually know? What? Go ahead? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, don't.

304
00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:57,439
Speaker 4: So you see that like big old field over there

305
00:13:57,440 --> 00:13:59,199
Speaker 4: where there's like no people for one hundred of miles.

306
00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:02,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, go there, go ahead, Opie says he caught me

307
00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:05,240
Speaker 1: off guard. That caught me off guard. I was not

308
00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:08,640
Speaker 1: expecting that at all. But I just nodded and told

309
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:11,200
Speaker 1: him that he would have to quit music and grow beard,

310
00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:14,000
Speaker 1: and also wouldn't be allowed to see the family again,

311
00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:17,079
Speaker 1: because as far as my limited knowledge of the homage goes.

312
00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:18,880
Speaker 2: They have some pretty strict rules.

313
00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:21,400
Speaker 1: Anyway, I guess I didn't give him the reaction that

314
00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:24,520
Speaker 1: he wanted because he huffed and then started going on

315
00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:25,760
Speaker 1: about how Trump is amazing.

316
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:30,800
Speaker 4: Bro has such adhd, He's so add his bigotry had.

317
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:32,920
Speaker 3: Stay focused on one topic of hate.

318
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:34,480
Speaker 2: Bro, That's so true.

319
00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:37,920
Speaker 1: Now, I'm Australian and I don't know that much about

320
00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:41,160
Speaker 1: Trump because I'm just not educated enough. But I do

321
00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:43,800
Speaker 1: know that he hasn't been great for women's rights. Okay,

322
00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:46,800
Speaker 1: so they're brother and sister. If op is Australian, that

323
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:49,840
Speaker 1: means that the brother is Australian. I didn't know that

324
00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:54,000
Speaker 1: Australians cared. I didn't know that there were followers, I guess,

325
00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:57,280
Speaker 1: and supporters of our politics in Australia.

326
00:14:57,400 --> 00:15:00,480
Speaker 4: It's like so big, I guess, and like be such

327
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:02,760
Speaker 4: a maniac that like I could see and he was

328
00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:03,960
Speaker 4: like a celebrity or whatever.

329
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,920
Speaker 1: So I was like, is when he like really bad

330
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:09,560
Speaker 1: on women's rights and he was like, sort of, I

331
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:10,520
Speaker 1: think that's good though.

332
00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:14,160
Speaker 3: Bro was like, yeah, I think it's great. I think

333
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:15,040
Speaker 3: it's amazing.

334
00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:18,480
Speaker 1: And I just blinked at him, like beautf and he

335
00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:22,480
Speaker 1: was like, don't even start. You're two woke women are

336
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:25,560
Speaker 1: always pushing for things they don't need. How do you

337
00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:30,760
Speaker 1: have five sisters, a mother and two nieces and talk

338
00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:31,280
Speaker 1: like that?

339
00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:32,480
Speaker 2: Good question, opie.

340
00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:34,760
Speaker 4: And you know what, he shouldn't even have to have

341
00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:37,840
Speaker 4: all those amazing women in his life to know did

342
00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:38,520
Speaker 4: not be a.

343
00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:41,240
Speaker 2: Like just steady it right.

344
00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:44,320
Speaker 1: Anyway, I was so done with him that I just

345
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:47,120
Speaker 1: shut my mouth and got my toasty and went to

346
00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:50,320
Speaker 1: walk down to my room. And he got mad and said,

347
00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:52,800
Speaker 1: oh my god, I just want to talk with my sister.

348
00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:54,720
Speaker 2: You never talked to me anymore.

349
00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:55,400
Speaker 4: Hmm.

350
00:15:56,360 --> 00:16:02,000
Speaker 2: I wonder why, what a mystery? What's this one?

351
00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:02,320
Speaker 3: Gang?

352
00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:05,440
Speaker 1: Anyway, I just turned around and told him to reflect

353
00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:08,280
Speaker 1: on the conversation we had and he hit me again.

354
00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:11,040
Speaker 2: With the oh my god, you're so sunsyed and you're

355
00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:11,840
Speaker 2: too woke.

356
00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:14,920
Speaker 1: So I just left and haven't talked to him since.

357
00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:17,000
Speaker 1: But that was only last night.

358
00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:19,000
Speaker 2: So am I the A hole?

359
00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:22,040
Speaker 1: Because I'm fully aware that I could be too woke

360
00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:23,440
Speaker 1: or sensitive or whatever.

361
00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:25,720
Speaker 2: And I know I can't force him to accept my

362
00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:29,000
Speaker 2: gender identity. But it hurt that he blatantly called me

363
00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:32,600
Speaker 2: his sister. But it's not like I scream at him

364
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:35,400
Speaker 2: for it or anything. So yeah, looking for opinions.

365
00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:39,200
Speaker 1: Also, yes, my parents my mother have talked to him

366
00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:41,080
Speaker 1: about it, but it's just not stopping.

367
00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:43,000
Speaker 2: So yeah, there's a lot. Look, but what do we think?

368
00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:44,960
Speaker 2: Is he the A hole or not?

369
00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:49,480
Speaker 4: Opie is not the a hole at all. Opie's freaking awesome.

370
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:53,600
Speaker 4: And again, like Opie was like, Hey, I don't want

371
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:57,720
Speaker 4: to like force people to You don't gotta throw a

372
00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:00,920
Speaker 4: parade for me, you gotta roll out all all he wants,

373
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:04,879
Speaker 4: just a let's just be cool. Just just accept me,

374
00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:09,240
Speaker 4: accept my gender identity. That's all mask and force. It's

375
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:13,320
Speaker 4: pretty easy. It's pretty simple. And yet the brother it's

376
00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:17,080
Speaker 4: a classic case of like of the people like oh, like, oh,

377
00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:20,200
Speaker 4: why you to celebrate. Why are pushing on my face?

378
00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:23,080
Speaker 1: And it's just like I'm just existing, Like I'm just

379
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:23,720
Speaker 1: chilling here.

380
00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:26,840
Speaker 3: I'm just chilling. You're the one that's going all crazy.

381
00:17:27,119 --> 00:17:30,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like that one meme that if you've seen it,

382
00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:32,760
Speaker 1: it's like, I'm just a chill guy that like wants

383
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:35,920
Speaker 1: my brother to use my like pronouns, you know what

384
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:36,199
Speaker 1: I mean.

385
00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:37,440
Speaker 2: Have you seen that chill guy meme?

386
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:38,119
Speaker 3: I haven't seen that.

387
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:40,400
Speaker 2: Okay, well it's pretty funny. I'll show you later.

388
00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:43,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely not the a hole because I kind of listen.

389
00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:46,640
Speaker 1: I don't want to be controversial, but I understand the

390
00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:49,479
Speaker 1: idea of being like too woke or something. And hear

391
00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:51,439
Speaker 1: me out because I don't know if that's like the

392
00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:54,760
Speaker 1: right words to use, calling it too woke. But I

393
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:58,760
Speaker 1: do think that people on both sides just.

394
00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:00,600
Speaker 2: Get a little aggressive, you know what I mean.

395
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,040
Speaker 1: It's like I think the opinions are like totally valid

396
00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:05,840
Speaker 1: and whatever, and I totally understand them and like standing

397
00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:07,480
Speaker 1: up for what you believe in and everything. I just

398
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:09,439
Speaker 1: do think that some people are a little just like

399
00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:13,520
Speaker 1: harsh with it. Oh he's just existing with his TOASTI

400
00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:16,639
Speaker 1: and that's like it so we have little edits.

401
00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:20,840
Speaker 2: Okay, people, please stop attacking my parents. Well, attack my

402
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:21,880
Speaker 2: dad if you want. I don't care.

403
00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:25,520
Speaker 1: He barely parents as kids. But my mother is an angel.

404
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:28,439
Speaker 1: She's doing her best and that's all I can ask for.

405
00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:32,359
Speaker 1: She has nine kids and she works. A lot of

406
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:36,560
Speaker 1: her kids are grown now. But my brother is a handful. Obviously,

407
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:39,359
Speaker 1: he's done other things that are more important than his

408
00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:40,480
Speaker 1: behavior towards me.

409
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,440
Speaker 2: I think he may be going.

410
00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:45,200
Speaker 1: Through a rebellious phase, which is lost on me because

411
00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:48,280
Speaker 1: I never actually had one. But my mother is exhausted,

412
00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:50,840
Speaker 1: and I don't blame her. My brother has been getting

413
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:54,000
Speaker 1: himself into trouble for the past couple months and has

414
00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:57,800
Speaker 1: been acting like a total rat. He's got classic youngest

415
00:18:57,880 --> 00:18:59,760
Speaker 1: child syndrome, and it's worse.

416
00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:02,120
Speaker 2: That he's the only blood boy.

417
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:05,639
Speaker 1: My father practically praises his bad behavior or waves it

418
00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:09,880
Speaker 1: off as boys will be boys, which completely undoes any

419
00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:12,800
Speaker 1: boundaries my mother sets down for my brother. Yeah, that's

420
00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:15,920
Speaker 1: a whole nother thing that can spark a whole other

421
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:17,360
Speaker 1: conversation about that.

422
00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:21,080
Speaker 4: Guess what this boy say, You can't. That's right, I'm

423
00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:24,040
Speaker 4: putting you in your place. Freaking stupid brother.

424
00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:27,879
Speaker 2: Also, yes, I hear some of you move out.

425
00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:28,400
Speaker 3: Well.

426
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:30,000
Speaker 2: Even though I have a job, I'm.

427
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:32,840
Speaker 1: Still going through UNI and paying it off as well

428
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:35,600
Speaker 1: as my car. I'm not in the financial situation right

429
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:38,280
Speaker 1: now to just move out, but i will soon and

430
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:40,640
Speaker 1: I'm saving money to get my own place with my boyfriend.

431
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,879
Speaker 1: By the way, you always have a safe space with

432
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:47,080
Speaker 1: us when you join us live on YouTube and Facebook

433
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:48,719
Speaker 1: every weekday at three PMPSD.

434
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:51,720
Speaker 2: Just taber profile. As for the trolls who think that

435
00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:55,600
Speaker 2: they're so funny talking smack in the comments, it's not working.

436
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:57,960
Speaker 1: I just want you to know that all it does

437
00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:00,960
Speaker 1: is make me laugh and then I to give a response.

438
00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:05,960
Speaker 1: One person called me a word joke's on you. That

439
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:06,679
Speaker 1: turns me on.

440
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:11,320
Speaker 4: Opie's freaking awesome. I freaking love Opie, dude, slip it

441
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:11,760
Speaker 4: on him.

442
00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:15,199
Speaker 1: So yeah, if you don't like that, I don't have

443
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:18,280
Speaker 1: a wang and still give off bigger, weener energy than

444
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:20,200
Speaker 1: you feel, okay to just.

445
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:23,680
Speaker 3: Scroll past get on out of here, boy.

446
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:27,280
Speaker 1: I'm sure that hand is better for more than just

447
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:33,000
Speaker 1: wanking off. And which is the vibes that transphobes give off.

448
00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:37,240
Speaker 2: That's that's crazy. Get them Opie anyway, live, laugh, love

449
00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:39,520
Speaker 2: or whatever. I don't know how to end this, and

450
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:42,440
Speaker 2: there we go. That's the ending. Oh my gosh.

451
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:45,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, conclusion is yeah, I guess just like, yeah, move

452
00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:48,040
Speaker 4: out as soon as you reasonably can, like don't rush

453
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,560
Speaker 4: and become homeless, but you know, just like get out

454
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:53,119
Speaker 4: there and then you know, man.

455
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:53,480
Speaker 3: Cut off the brother.

456
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:58,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, my siblings ignored me for years, so I want

457
00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:01,080
Speaker 1: to go no contact with them by kind of sounds

458
00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:03,920
Speaker 1: like you already are. I'm wanting to mostly vent as

459
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:05,479
Speaker 1: I am a recovering people pleaser.

460
00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:06,960
Speaker 2: Sorry, this is long.

461
00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:11,119
Speaker 1: I sixty female, have an older brother seventy two and

462
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:13,880
Speaker 1: a deceased brother who would have been sixty nine, an

463
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:17,080
Speaker 1: older sister sixty seven, and a younger sister fifty two.

464
00:21:17,119 --> 00:21:19,000
Speaker 3: Big family all over the age board there.

465
00:21:19,359 --> 00:21:21,159
Speaker 1: You would think at our age that we would have

466
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:22,720
Speaker 1: been past the pettiness.

467
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:23,320
Speaker 3: But no.

468
00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:26,639
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from a non e mouse

469
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:30,560
Speaker 1: band nerd on the r Sasha Okay storytime sub Breddit.

470
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:33,800
Speaker 1: My mother passed two years ago and left us with

471
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,480
Speaker 1: the house we grew up in to be split five

472
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:39,760
Speaker 1: ways when it's sold. My deceased brother's share would be

473
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:43,119
Speaker 1: split between his two children. My remaining brother is the

474
00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:47,280
Speaker 1: executor of my mother's estate. For context, my older siblings

475
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:49,639
Speaker 1: have always treated my little sister and I like we

476
00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:52,879
Speaker 1: were idiots or at best small children. My little sister

477
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:56,040
Speaker 1: would call me to complain and invent about them, her job,

478
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:58,320
Speaker 1: life in general, but she couldn't be bothered to do

479
00:21:58,359 --> 00:21:58,919
Speaker 1: the same for me.

480
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:02,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'll complain to you, but when I need to complain,

481
00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:04,600
Speaker 4: I ain't got nobody to run to.

482
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:06,960
Speaker 1: If we were on a trip together, she would ditch

483
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:11,320
Speaker 1: me for friends or just roll her eyes at any suggestions.

484
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:11,560
Speaker 2: That I might make.

485
00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:15,560
Speaker 1: I often was alone, even in a foreign country, and

486
00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:19,159
Speaker 1: on my own for a dinner, excursions, etc. So I

487
00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:24,080
Speaker 1: was essentially the frequently forgotten, often maligned middle child. When

488
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:27,240
Speaker 1: Mom passed, it was understood that my little sister, the

489
00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:29,600
Speaker 1: only one who was single and lived closest to Mom,

490
00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:32,640
Speaker 1: would move into mom's house and stay there for a year,

491
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:35,680
Speaker 1: getting the house ready to sell. My little sister had

492
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:38,360
Speaker 1: quit her teaching job to be our mother's caregiver the

493
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:39,679
Speaker 1: last few years of her life.

494
00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:40,080
Speaker 3: Wow.

495
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:43,639
Speaker 1: When Mom went into assisted living, my sister struggled finding

496
00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:46,640
Speaker 1: a job. Hers and mine is a niche teaching position

497
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:49,080
Speaker 1: and took a sizeable pay cut to teach at.

498
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:49,760
Speaker 2: A private school.

499
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:52,439
Speaker 1: Since she didn't have to pay rent and have some

500
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:56,240
Speaker 1: money left in mom's account earmarked for upkeep of the house,

501
00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:57,440
Speaker 1: she could survive.

502
00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:57,720
Speaker 2: For a year.

503
00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:02,239
Speaker 1: We all agreed on a year. A year passes and

504
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:05,080
Speaker 1: she's still in the house. She says public schools just

505
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:07,480
Speaker 1: aren't hiring. I know this isn't.

506
00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:09,680
Speaker 2: True, but she's picky about where she wants to live.

507
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:13,080
Speaker 1: I sucked it up and went wherever the jobs were

508
00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:15,959
Speaker 1: for my career. But that was me being the people pleaser.

509
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:19,080
Speaker 1: When my parents were both alive, my husband and I

510
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:22,000
Speaker 1: both retired. Had made plans to travel based on the

511
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:25,119
Speaker 1: intent of my sister moving after the first year and

512
00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:28,439
Speaker 1: the house selling. When that didn't happen, we canceled our

513
00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:31,560
Speaker 1: plans to save money. As inflation and the cost of

514
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:34,480
Speaker 1: living grew that second year, we had to cut more

515
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:38,720
Speaker 1: things out of our lives, including selling a car. Meanwhile,

516
00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:41,520
Speaker 1: my little sister quit her job after the second year

517
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:43,840
Speaker 1: in the house and was living on money that my

518
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:46,960
Speaker 1: big sister was giving her. Oh my gosh, when we

519
00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:48,359
Speaker 1: asked about the sale of the house.

520
00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:50,000
Speaker 2: Over two years.

521
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:51,560
Speaker 3: Since my mother passed passed due.

522
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:53,080
Speaker 2: We were met.

523
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:58,040
Speaker 1: By yelling, condescension and then silence. My husband sixty seven

524
00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:00,520
Speaker 1: and I reached out to my brother and he said

525
00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:03,320
Speaker 1: it was our own fault if we were having money troubles,

526
00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:06,520
Speaker 1: and again to not ask him about any personal stuff.

527
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:10,119
Speaker 1: That's annoying. That's something I read in like another story earlier.

528
00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:12,440
Speaker 1: Was like, it's actually the same kind of thing happened

529
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:14,880
Speaker 1: where it was like something with the will and then

530
00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:17,840
Speaker 1: someone was like given a lot less money in the

531
00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:20,000
Speaker 1: will or like left out of it, and then another

532
00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:22,159
Speaker 1: sibling was like, sorry, you're broke.

533
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:24,040
Speaker 3: Sorry, you're not freaking rich like me.

534
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:27,080
Speaker 1: He said, it's our own fault if we have money troubles,

535
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:29,040
Speaker 1: and to not ask him about any personal stuff.

536
00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:30,520
Speaker 2: Again. Huh.

537
00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:33,560
Speaker 1: We had called him about whenever the house was put

538
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:36,280
Speaker 1: up for sale. We had some experience with selling and

539
00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:39,399
Speaker 1: buying from Zillo. A realtor whom we thought was a

540
00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:42,080
Speaker 1: friend tried to buy our house from under us cheaply

541
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:46,320
Speaker 1: and then sell out a profit whoa We went with

542
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:49,639
Speaker 1: Zillo and said and made money. My big sister had

543
00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:54,120
Speaker 1: poo pooed our ideas and said that she would go through.

544
00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:57,080
Speaker 1: We knew a realtor too, but that didn't stop the

545
00:24:57,080 --> 00:24:58,600
Speaker 1: realtor from trying to cheat us.

546
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,000
Speaker 2: We said that if and when our.

547
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:03,840
Speaker 1: Little sister moved out, we could house her until she

548
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:06,800
Speaker 1: found a job, that we lived in a different part

549
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:08,920
Speaker 1: of the state and there were jobs in her field

550
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:09,680
Speaker 1: all around.

551
00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:12,639
Speaker 4: It does sound like a good idea, although slight side

552
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:15,640
Speaker 4: now it does seem like OPI has some real estate trauma.

553
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:18,080
Speaker 4: Not all realtors are probably going to break your heart

554
00:25:18,119 --> 00:25:19,600
Speaker 4: like that, but you know, hey, I get it.

555
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:21,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, But that is interesting though too, because I do

556
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:24,320
Speaker 1: get it in the way where it's like, well, like,

557
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:28,159
Speaker 1: if the realtor snubs the sister, it's also snubbing all

558
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:29,919
Speaker 1: the other siblings because they're all.

559
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:32,000
Speaker 2: Getting money, and that's also a difficult thing.

560
00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:34,119
Speaker 1: Is like, yeah, they agreed that she was going to

561
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:35,960
Speaker 1: deal with it, but at this point, like, if they're

562
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:38,080
Speaker 1: all getting equal pay for this, then I feel like

563
00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:40,800
Speaker 1: it'd be totally reasonable for someone else to just be like, hey,

564
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:41,720
Speaker 1: I'm going to take care of this.

565
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:44,520
Speaker 4: I feel like it's more of a semantics or strategy

566
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:47,119
Speaker 4: at that point. It's just like, hey, let's just freaking

567
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:48,920
Speaker 4: sell the house.

568
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:51,240
Speaker 3: You know what I mean. But yeah, dude, that is

569
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:51,680
Speaker 3: not good.

570
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:56,440
Speaker 1: In response to that, my big sister texted me five words, Nope,

571
00:25:56,840 --> 00:26:00,959
Speaker 1: not going to happen. That's so like aggress and vague

572
00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:04,520
Speaker 1: and like not gonna happen. That's the last communication she's

573
00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:07,800
Speaker 1: given me. She doesn't answer or return calls or messages.

574
00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:10,920
Speaker 1: Fast forward to over two years since my mother passed.

575
00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:14,960
Speaker 1: We have canceled two vacations, sold a car. Daughter in

576
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,920
Speaker 1: college has to apply for loans to finish college, while

577
00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:20,919
Speaker 1: my sister has gone on trips, gone to baseball games,

578
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:24,879
Speaker 1: and races, all while living by herself with two cars,

579
00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:28,800
Speaker 1: no rent, no job, and my big sister is bankrolling her.

580
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:30,760
Speaker 2: Why why?

581
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:31,159
Speaker 1: Like?

582
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:35,800
Speaker 4: Also because the big sister, again, like you said, stands

583
00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:38,920
Speaker 4: to earn, gets a fifth of the house. Like, not

584
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:41,280
Speaker 4: only are you, you know, lighting your money on fire

585
00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:43,200
Speaker 4: giving it to her, you're also losing the money from

586
00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:43,639
Speaker 4: the house.

587
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:47,000
Speaker 1: The house price was at an all time high back

588
00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:49,639
Speaker 1: in June. It has dropped seven percent in the last

589
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:50,359
Speaker 1: thirty dates.

590
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:53,600
Speaker 3: Oh no, that's bad.

591
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:55,399
Speaker 4: I feel like a lot of places, it could be

592
00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:57,760
Speaker 4: like two percent a year, So that's like years worth

593
00:26:57,800 --> 00:26:58,840
Speaker 4: of value lost.

594
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:01,719
Speaker 1: In a post, Oh my god, I recently found out

595
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:04,400
Speaker 1: that my sister had gotten a job, but only through

596
00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:06,360
Speaker 1: mutual friends posting on Facebook.

597
00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:08,639
Speaker 2: My little sister has muted me.

598
00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 1: I found out the house was for sale only because

599
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:12,800
Speaker 1: I have it saved on Zilla.

600
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:15,680
Speaker 2: What I never got to go say goodbye to where

601
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:17,480
Speaker 2: I grew up. That's the saddest part.

602
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:19,199
Speaker 4: And you know what, the most tragic thing of all

603
00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:22,000
Speaker 4: is she ended up doing the thing that Opie wanted

604
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:23,480
Speaker 4: to do all along, putting it on Zilla.

605
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:25,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was that easy.

606
00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:28,720
Speaker 1: It is listed through my big sister's realtorm. Once again,

607
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:31,920
Speaker 1: my advice was ignored. I have sold and bought houses

608
00:27:32,119 --> 00:27:34,120
Speaker 1: both in seven days time.

609
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 2: That's quick. Doesn't take three years or almost three years.

610
00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:40,639
Speaker 1: I have a feeling my mom's house is going to

611
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:44,439
Speaker 1: linguish on the market. My brother has come up with

612
00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:46,679
Speaker 1: a number that he's not going to budge on.

613
00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:49,640
Speaker 2: I like that between the two of them. My older

614
00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:51,960
Speaker 2: siblings think that they know more than my husband and me.

615
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:54,719
Speaker 2: For what it's worth, my husband is an attorney and

616
00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:58,040
Speaker 2: has bought, sold, and built more houses than my brother

617
00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:00,640
Speaker 2: and sister put together. You got expert in the family.

618
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:03,480
Speaker 1: Interest in the house has dropped off sharply since the

619
00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:04,040
Speaker 1: first week.

620
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:04,520
Speaker 2: Today.

621
00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:07,560
Speaker 1: I got one notification on Facebook where my little sister

622
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:10,280
Speaker 1: moved and now everything is muted again.

623
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:11,880
Speaker 2: My husband is muted too.

624
00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:15,240
Speaker 3: Wait you're telling me she unmuted you just so you'd see.

625
00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:17,800
Speaker 4: Oh, I moved out, I sold and got rid of

626
00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:19,480
Speaker 4: the house and then remuted you.

627
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:21,119
Speaker 3: That is some petty baby.

628
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:22,120
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

629
00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:25,200
Speaker 1: If we have to cancel next year's vacation a cruise

630
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:28,600
Speaker 1: so there are deadlines involved, my husband is going to

631
00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:31,560
Speaker 1: be so angry. I'm to the point where if my

632
00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:34,160
Speaker 1: siblings act like I'm a nuisance, then I just won't

633
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:37,359
Speaker 1: be there for them to be annoyed by. Every month

634
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:40,200
Speaker 1: the house doesn't sell is interest we pay on credit

635
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:42,880
Speaker 1: cards that we could have paid off if the house

636
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:46,200
Speaker 1: has had just sold out a reasonable time. But you

637
00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:49,120
Speaker 1: know what I think is always a reasonable time? What

638
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:52,840
Speaker 1: is three pm PSC? Which is time to join us

639
00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:57,280
Speaker 1: on live on YouTube, Facebook and TikTok every single weekday.

640
00:28:57,400 --> 00:28:59,280
Speaker 3: Just have a profile, bye babe.

641
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:01,640
Speaker 2: But it is more to the story. But I think

642
00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:03,760
Speaker 2: we need to take a breather. This is just like

643
00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:06,840
Speaker 2: do you think going no contact would be the way

644
00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:07,120
Speaker 2: to go?

645
00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:11,959
Speaker 4: So the one big issue is we do have the house,

646
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:15,479
Speaker 4: which it does seem like will solve a lot of

647
00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:19,520
Speaker 4: op's problems. Yeah, they have some finance problems that it

648
00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:22,239
Speaker 4: seems like three years ago, which also like I'm a

649
00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:24,200
Speaker 4: little bit like it seemed like three years ago.

650
00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:25,760
Speaker 3: It is like, oh, i'm a lawyer, I sold the house.

651
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:27,840
Speaker 3: With that, Oh I'm a lawyer, I sold I sold

652
00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:30,600
Speaker 3: the houses. And then I'm like, low key, where's your

653
00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:32,960
Speaker 3: ready to know? But that's okay, I won't judge. We listen,

654
00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:33,720
Speaker 3: we don't judge.

655
00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:37,080
Speaker 4: I guess you could argue that like there's such idiots

656
00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:39,120
Speaker 4: they're just gonna do it on their own time anyways,

657
00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:40,080
Speaker 4: and it's not worth fighting it.

658
00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 1: Honestly, I feel like that might be part of it,

659
00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:44,800
Speaker 1: Like you might have to just be like, you know what,

660
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:47,720
Speaker 1: I've accepted it at this point, because I also want

661
00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:50,360
Speaker 1: to know how much they would actually get from the house,

662
00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:52,720
Speaker 1: Like at a certain point that money runs out and

663
00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:55,080
Speaker 1: it's a fifth, right, and so it's like it's not

664
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:57,880
Speaker 1: an income that they would be getting. They would just

665
00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:00,479
Speaker 1: get like one dose of money, you know. But if

666
00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:03,160
Speaker 1: it's a lot, then it would be able to fund

667
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:05,680
Speaker 1: you know, a lot of different things. And I mean,

668
00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:07,800
Speaker 1: I guess going on vacations isn't the only thing, like

669
00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:09,959
Speaker 1: they also have to, you know, put their daughter through

670
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:12,880
Speaker 1: college and stuff. But I do just wonder like how

671
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:15,480
Speaker 1: fast that would run out with everything that they've been

672
00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:16,560
Speaker 1: like missing out on.

673
00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:19,640
Speaker 4: It sounds like it'll change their life as in like

674
00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:21,520
Speaker 4: the way they're having to live life right now.

675
00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:23,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure, for sure, because now they're just like

676
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:26,120
Speaker 1: scraping by. It sounds like I'm beginning to wonder if

677
00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:29,040
Speaker 1: my little sister is slandering me on Facebook as our

678
00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:32,280
Speaker 1: mutual friends have become cagey about her whereabouts.

679
00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:34,400
Speaker 2: Honestly, I don't care anymore.

680
00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:37,080
Speaker 1: It's too much drama, and I know Mom would be

681
00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:39,760
Speaker 1: upset by the way we're all treating each other. I

682
00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:42,360
Speaker 1: want my family back, because we're all we've got in

683
00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:46,320
Speaker 1: this generation. But I've had it with this drama. Should

684
00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:49,520
Speaker 1: I just go no contact? They have my address, they

685
00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:52,320
Speaker 1: can just mail me the check if the house ever sells.

686
00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:55,760
Speaker 4: I am going to say, as my final final answer,

687
00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:59,360
Speaker 4: to go no contact, because I think it sounds like

688
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:02,440
Speaker 4: the five wayt split is what's in the will, but

689
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:06,880
Speaker 4: there's no time, there's no date, there's no designated person

690
00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:09,400
Speaker 4: to take care of it. All everything else was after

691
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:12,239
Speaker 4: so it's like and that's why you check out your

692
00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:13,640
Speaker 4: wills and all your contracts.

693
00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:15,360
Speaker 2: But that's the end of that story.

694
00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:18,200
Speaker 6: My girlfriend's sister is gonna stay in our house for

695
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:20,680
Speaker 6: weeks without informing me.

696
00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:24,280
Speaker 5: Girlfriend's sisters step says step Bro.

697
00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:29,520
Speaker 6: I'm stuck in the dryer. So my mail thirty and

698
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:32,400
Speaker 6: my partner, female twenty six, live in a country far

699
00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:34,920
Speaker 6: away from both of our families. We live in a

700
00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:38,480
Speaker 6: tiny one bed flat which is for all intents and

701
00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:42,400
Speaker 6: all purposes, a studio glass partition wall. It's pretty cramped

702
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:44,840
Speaker 6: even for two of us. I also pay all the rent.

703
00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:47,520
Speaker 6: My partner covers food and a couple of bills, far

704
00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:50,000
Speaker 6: less overall, and far less over the course of our

705
00:31:50,040 --> 00:31:53,520
Speaker 6: relationship due to meat or inconsiderably more. My girlfriend has

706
00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:56,959
Speaker 6: spent a couple of weeks seeing said sister in another country.

707
00:31:57,080 --> 00:31:59,600
Speaker 6: Her sister is doing some traveling and then had planned

708
00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:02,240
Speaker 6: to come and stay with us. I've been given no

709
00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:05,320
Speaker 6: dates and wasn't asked if this was okay or even

710
00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:07,560
Speaker 6: how I felt about it. By the way, this comes

711
00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:10,720
Speaker 6: from user midnight space Owl seventy six on the r

712
00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:14,440
Speaker 6: slash Okase storytime separated it. So I was pretty stressed

713
00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:16,520
Speaker 6: out about it. I work long hours in a stressful position,

714
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:20,000
Speaker 6: which includes once a week on average, fourteen hour workshifts

715
00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:23,200
Speaker 6: and two sets of night shifts, so needing to sleep

716
00:32:23,280 --> 00:32:26,000
Speaker 6: during the day during the time she plans to come.

717
00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:29,400
Speaker 6: I'm a very introverted person and value my free space.

718
00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:31,880
Speaker 6: I would have to go to the bathroom to get

719
00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:35,240
Speaker 6: changed because of that glass partition. Again, it's a very tiny,

720
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:38,120
Speaker 6: cramped space. I eventually told her how I was feeling,

721
00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:41,440
Speaker 6: explained that I absolutely wanted her to spend time with

722
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:44,720
Speaker 6: her sister, but asked that we consider another workaround. She

723
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:47,400
Speaker 6: was disappointed, but seemed to understand to some extent.

724
00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:50,680
Speaker 5: Okay, all right, respecting boundaries.

725
00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:51,680
Speaker 6: Communicating your feelings.

726
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:54,000
Speaker 5: Opie's covering all the spaces.

727
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:56,000
Speaker 6: Here good today. Before she boards her flight home, she

728
00:32:56,120 --> 00:32:59,280
Speaker 6: tells me she's sad that she's crying, and I ask why,

729
00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:01,720
Speaker 6: because she's good to miss her family. I'm like, well,

730
00:33:01,760 --> 00:33:03,240
Speaker 6: you're going to see your sister in again in a

731
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:06,040
Speaker 6: few weeks. To what she responds with a screenshot of

732
00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:08,400
Speaker 6: her and her sister talking about how upset they are

733
00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:10,960
Speaker 6: that they just wanted to spend time together, but since

734
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:13,600
Speaker 6: I'm stressed, then they will have to just cut their

735
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:16,480
Speaker 6: time short together and how much this sucks for them.

736
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:19,400
Speaker 6: Immediately after she's offline and on her flight. They have

737
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:21,440
Speaker 6: just spent two weeks off work together and her sister

738
00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:24,800
Speaker 6: is planning on traveling for three weeks alone before coming here.

739
00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:27,800
Speaker 6: She just got a promotion which is doubling her salary.

740
00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:29,600
Speaker 6: I feel that it is so important to spend time

741
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:32,360
Speaker 6: together with her sister, she should sacrifice some of her

742
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:35,560
Speaker 6: personal travel time and pay for her accommodation here, and

743
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:38,440
Speaker 6: my girlfriend could contribute what she can also.

744
00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:40,600
Speaker 5: A little Girl's place Airbnb.

745
00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:42,440
Speaker 6: You want to enjoy your trip. I mean, I know

746
00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:43,760
Speaker 6: you want to spend time together, but you want to

747
00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:46,400
Speaker 6: enjoy your trip, not make everyone stressed out.

748
00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:47,960
Speaker 5: No, P is workhorse.

749
00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:50,320
Speaker 3: He needs his rest, he needs his nappies.

750
00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:54,160
Speaker 6: But no, it's my fault they can't have fun together.

751
00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:57,160
Speaker 6: I feel incredibly guilt tripped and annoyed that she didn't

752
00:33:57,160 --> 00:33:59,200
Speaker 6: even think to ask me or consider how I might

753
00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:01,760
Speaker 6: feel about this. If we had space, I would have

754
00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:04,520
Speaker 6: no problem. Her friends stayed last year for a month

755
00:34:04,560 --> 00:34:07,280
Speaker 6: when we had two bedrooms. I still don't even know

756
00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:10,279
Speaker 6: when she's planning to come for how long where she

757
00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:12,440
Speaker 6: will sleep our sofa is not big enough for an

758
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:14,960
Speaker 6: adult to sleep on. Anyway, I wanted a bit of

759
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:17,240
Speaker 6: a rant explaining how I felt about the whole situation.

760
00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:20,600
Speaker 6: Am I being unreasonable in thinking this is not cool?

761
00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:23,560
Speaker 6: And we have some Opie's comments and some comments.

762
00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:28,520
Speaker 5: Comment below your thoughts, Kean, Is he overreacting a touch.

763
00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:31,000
Speaker 6: If I'm in a tight space, like if there is

764
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:33,440
Speaker 6: no other work around, maybe for the good day, like

765
00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:36,480
Speaker 6: maybe a good day or two great three days, Like

766
00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:38,640
Speaker 6: I said, let's make a work around here. I'm not

767
00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:42,279
Speaker 6: stop it, but try and find a better housing accommodation,

768
00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:45,359
Speaker 6: especially if she again just got a raise, or again

769
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:48,640
Speaker 6: she's getting making some money, maybe even Airbnb or like

770
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:52,279
Speaker 6: a hostile something like that nearby. It's gonna be better

771
00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:55,279
Speaker 6: for everyone because one, you're not gonna get upset, the

772
00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:57,480
Speaker 6: sisters shouldn't get upset. She's gonna be living in a

773
00:34:57,520 --> 00:35:01,200
Speaker 6: better spot, and then your wife or girlfriend, your partner

774
00:35:01,239 --> 00:35:02,239
Speaker 6: is gonna be like, okay, great.

775
00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:04,719
Speaker 5: It just seems like op feels like he's being used

776
00:35:04,719 --> 00:35:07,400
Speaker 5: a little bit. He wouldn't have mentioned how much he

777
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:09,520
Speaker 5: pays for the apartment and everything if he didn't feel

778
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:10,239
Speaker 5: like he was being used.

779
00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:12,080
Speaker 6: But yeah, this is also you're paying for a lot

780
00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:14,040
Speaker 6: of it. Again, if it was like for a day

781
00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:17,080
Speaker 6: or maybe two days, three days, stop it two days,

782
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:19,279
Speaker 6: two days tops, bite your tongue. You're like, okay, I

783
00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:21,120
Speaker 6: can live with that. Yeah, yeah, But if it's for

784
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:24,200
Speaker 6: like a full time I thought it was two weeks, well,

785
00:35:24,239 --> 00:35:26,160
Speaker 6: however long if it's more than that, where you're in

786
00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:28,960
Speaker 6: a tight, cramped place and you're like you're just making

787
00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:31,960
Speaker 6: you know, making this livable, adding a third person is

788
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:33,200
Speaker 6: gonna make this very stressed out.

789
00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:35,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's not worth it, not worth it for your peace.

790
00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:38,440
Speaker 6: I was gonna say, you told your partner how you feel, yeah,

791
00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:41,080
Speaker 6: and they're still like, no, this is still happening. That's

792
00:35:41,120 --> 00:35:44,120
Speaker 6: not fair. We have some comments here. Commenter said, not

793
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:46,560
Speaker 6: the a hole. Your partner invited her sister over despite

794
00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:50,280
Speaker 6: the logistical limitations without discussing with you first. It's your

795
00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:53,319
Speaker 6: home too. It doesn't seem like there's a budget issue,

796
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:56,560
Speaker 6: as you've mentioned that your sister recently got promoted and

797
00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:59,560
Speaker 6: doubled her salary, which means sister could have booked a

798
00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:02,279
Speaker 6: nearby tell and your partner could have stayed with her

799
00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:03,200
Speaker 6: for a few days.

800
00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:03,640
Speaker 3: Worst.

801
00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:05,880
Speaker 6: I think is your partner throwing you under the bus

802
00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:08,640
Speaker 6: in her exchange with the sister instead of acknowledging her

803
00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:12,439
Speaker 6: part in creating this situation in the first place. OP says,

804
00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:15,000
Speaker 6: thank you for the reassurance. I think I was definitely

805
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:17,440
Speaker 6: an a hole in some of the reactionary comments, and

806
00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:20,480
Speaker 6: I'll apologize for those, but I agree I don't think

807
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:23,000
Speaker 6: I'm at fault for the root issue here, despite being

808
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:25,440
Speaker 6: made to feel that I am a commis to her again,

809
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:28,160
Speaker 6: not the a hole. I would be really frustrated and

810
00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:30,920
Speaker 6: upset if my partner tried to make a unilateral decision

811
00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:35,000
Speaker 6: like this for a shared space, especially one so tiny.

812
00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:38,799
Speaker 6: This kind of behavior comes across as inconsiderate and lacking immaturity,

813
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:41,680
Speaker 6: especially given how she placed the blame on you rather

814
00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:44,399
Speaker 6: than taking accountability. I would have a sit down talk

815
00:36:44,440 --> 00:36:46,920
Speaker 6: with your girlfriend and really lay it out. Ask her

816
00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:48,759
Speaker 6: how she would feel if you invited a male friend

817
00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:51,120
Speaker 6: or brother to stay there, and how it would appear

818
00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:53,680
Speaker 6: that you expected her to just deal with the situation,

819
00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:57,200
Speaker 6: as uncomfortable as it might be. Ask her how considerate

820
00:36:57,239 --> 00:36:59,680
Speaker 6: that would be. Offer her no judgment, just try to

821
00:36:59,719 --> 00:37:02,160
Speaker 6: underst and help her understand why you felt the way

822
00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:05,240
Speaker 6: you felt. Opie says, thank you for the thought out response.

823
00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:08,239
Speaker 6: Definitely going to sit down and talk about it. Unfortunately,

824
00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:10,960
Speaker 6: I jumped right into sending a load of reactionary messages

825
00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:14,759
Speaker 6: which were immature in themselves. Thankfully we have been able

826
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:17,080
Speaker 6: to understend them, and so I will be doing just

827
00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:19,760
Speaker 6: what you say and having no judgment to lay out

828
00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:23,080
Speaker 6: how I feel and why. Another commenter says, especially if

829
00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:25,319
Speaker 6: there's no way to close off the bedroom and main

830
00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:28,600
Speaker 6: financial provider needs to sleep during the day, the girlfriend

831
00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:31,280
Speaker 6: is being selfish and entitled for inviting her sister without

832
00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:34,560
Speaker 6: a conversation and agreement from her boyfriend, and then for

833
00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:37,719
Speaker 6: the guilt tripping. Opie says, this is what really got me.

834
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:40,680
Speaker 6: Nights are hard enough in a relationship anyway. I'm also

835
00:37:40,760 --> 00:37:43,320
Speaker 6: in healthcare, so I really need to optimize my sleep

836
00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:46,520
Speaker 6: to be able to perform. I'm just baffled. Commenter states,

837
00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:49,480
Speaker 6: have you asked about her sleeping arrangements, because now I'm

838
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:52,520
Speaker 6: curious how they think that would work. Opie says, yes,

839
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:55,480
Speaker 6: she said she would sleep on the sofa, maybe one

840
00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:58,359
Speaker 6: night crashing on the sofa this size is doable, but

841
00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:01,240
Speaker 6: not for a few weeks. Yeah, or on the floor,

842
00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:03,600
Speaker 6: which would mean trampling her if we went to get water,

843
00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:05,319
Speaker 6: slash go to the bathroom in the night and have

844
00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:07,640
Speaker 6: to step over her in the morning to get coffee,

845
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:10,440
Speaker 6: et cetera. Where this is not just enough space. I

846
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:13,200
Speaker 6: can't even do yoga s less stretches aside because we

847
00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:15,000
Speaker 6: have no floor space.

848
00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:17,919
Speaker 5: Dude, you need to move somewhere else, man, God take

849
00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:20,279
Speaker 5: real issues. I need to find a new place to live.

850
00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:23,360
Speaker 6: Maybe they're just saving up. Again, you're living in somewhere

851
00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:25,960
Speaker 6: that doesn't seem it's very comfortable, even for one person.

852
00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:27,880
Speaker 6: So home is where the heart is.

853
00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:28,719
Speaker 3: And I get it.

854
00:38:28,719 --> 00:38:30,759
Speaker 6: You're getting stressed out. And there's another note here from

855
00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:33,480
Speaker 6: OPI there is a cultural difference. Her family is different

856
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:36,360
Speaker 6: to mine and would often have much more communal living.

857
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:39,600
Speaker 6: But she knows that this is different for me. A

858
00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:43,080
Speaker 6: commentser which is again also says downvoted. I understand the

859
00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:45,319
Speaker 6: space is small, but you're expecting her to drop her

860
00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:48,560
Speaker 6: cultural norms to fit yours, don't you see that's a

861
00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:51,839
Speaker 6: bit ironic. Op states, I don't think it is as

862
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:54,960
Speaker 6: simple as asking her to drop her cultural norms. We

863
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:58,000
Speaker 6: live in a very western lifestyle together, as does her sister.

864
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:00,759
Speaker 6: I think her bringing up that it's normal for them

865
00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:04,080
Speaker 6: to live more communally is unfair. Her family and our

866
00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:07,680
Speaker 6: living slash work situations are entirely different. They don't live

867
00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:10,400
Speaker 6: in tiny one bit flats. If I visit her country,

868
00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:12,359
Speaker 6: I would be expected to adapt to fit in with

869
00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:14,880
Speaker 6: their lifestyle. And then we have another update.

870
00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:17,399
Speaker 5: These are solutions. I'm still sicking to my hot take.

871
00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:20,320
Speaker 6: I mean, you can't just okay, let's change our place

872
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:23,080
Speaker 6: and no change your place. Okay, well you can't change

873
00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:24,320
Speaker 6: your place, So let's your next solution.

874
00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:26,680
Speaker 5: All right, whatever OP said earlier.

875
00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:28,680
Speaker 6: You can stay for like maybe a night, maybe two nights.

876
00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:31,040
Speaker 5: Any more than that you're gonna burn out the workhorse.

877
00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:34,560
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's not fair that this was not communicated to UOP,

878
00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:37,359
Speaker 6: and it should have been communicated and not, you know,

879
00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:39,240
Speaker 6: just kind of thrown under the bus.

880
00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:39,760
Speaker 3: Update.

881
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:42,440
Speaker 6: Then this is the next day. I measured the couch

882
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:44,520
Speaker 6: they had planned for her to sleep on, which I

883
00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:47,319
Speaker 6: told them isn't big enough. It's four or five in length.

884
00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:50,240
Speaker 6: She is five five. There is not enough floor space

885
00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:52,239
Speaker 6: for an air mattress or anything like that. It is

886
00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:55,239
Speaker 6: simply not feasible. To everyone who felt this was a

887
00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:58,240
Speaker 6: deal breaker slash relationship under that's kind of insane based

888
00:39:58,239 --> 00:40:01,440
Speaker 6: on the above information, I agree with those who suggested

889
00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:04,160
Speaker 6: that she was upset about any obstacles limiting her plan

890
00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:06,759
Speaker 6: and that she was somewhat blinded by excitement to the

891
00:40:06,800 --> 00:40:10,320
Speaker 6: reality of our situation. I get that. I've done similar

892
00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:13,080
Speaker 6: in the past. I don't think she was intentionally manipulating me.

893
00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:15,880
Speaker 6: I think she was upset and wanted express that. I

894
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:18,560
Speaker 6: get it. She apologized for making me feel bad. I

895
00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:20,960
Speaker 6: accepted the reality of our living situation and is trying

896
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:23,520
Speaker 6: to find workarounds. And you know what you can do.

897
00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:28,840
Speaker 6: You can find us live three pm PST every weekday

898
00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:36,360
Speaker 6: on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, Twitch. Just tap that profile, tap it,

899
00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:38,480
Speaker 6: tap tap there is another relevant update.

900
00:40:38,560 --> 00:40:41,200
Speaker 5: But disagreement that he's trying to find the best solution

901
00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:43,040
Speaker 5: for no need of breakup.

902
00:40:42,719 --> 00:40:44,440
Speaker 6: No, no, no, none of that. I think he also

903
00:40:44,719 --> 00:40:47,319
Speaker 6: gets where she was coming from. She was just so

904
00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:51,200
Speaker 6: blinded by excitements like oh, sister's coming, like yes, yes, yes, yay.

905
00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:54,440
Speaker 6: But he's like, baby, be realistic.

906
00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:57,120
Speaker 5: By about she can't got nowhere sleep biber.

907
00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:59,480
Speaker 6: She ain't sleeping with us. We don't even have him

908
00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:02,960
Speaker 6: to sleep's. I think the solution is like, again, go

909
00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:06,080
Speaker 6: to a nearby hostel, hotel somewhere nearby if she needs

910
00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:08,320
Speaker 6: a crash on the couch, which is not even logistical

911
00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:11,000
Speaker 6: one night to night. It's clear that communication is really

912
00:41:11,080 --> 00:41:14,520
Speaker 6: key in relationships. Had there been clear communication prior, this

913
00:41:14,560 --> 00:41:17,200
Speaker 6: whole situation could have been avoided. The reason I came

914
00:41:17,239 --> 00:41:18,840
Speaker 6: to redd it rather than talk with her more is

915
00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:21,359
Speaker 6: because she was traveling for around twenty four hours and

916
00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:24,319
Speaker 6: she was offline. To those who suggested we talk without

917
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:26,880
Speaker 6: judgment and just try and understand where both sides were

918
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:29,319
Speaker 6: coming from, thank you. This is the way.

919
00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:31,360
Speaker 5: He just wanted to hear that. That's all he needed.

920
00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:32,840
Speaker 6: I guess he just wanted to speak it and like

921
00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:35,239
Speaker 6: wanted to get someone's advice and like what should I do?

922
00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:37,040
Speaker 6: And yeah, I know you're reasonable. I don't think you're

923
00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:39,560
Speaker 6: an a hole. I think again, communication is what was

924
00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:41,640
Speaker 6: missing here, but it was hard to communicate. Like you said,

925
00:41:41,719 --> 00:41:43,920
Speaker 6: I think your best thing is like, hey, maybe you

926
00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:46,960
Speaker 6: can help find them a place or find your sister

927
00:41:47,239 --> 00:41:49,719
Speaker 6: a place to get, you know, around the corner, and

928
00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:52,560
Speaker 6: then maybe go have a good dinner with her. And

929
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:53,200
Speaker 6: your partner.

930
00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:55,759
Speaker 5: And as the end of that story, I'm not going

931
00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:58,440
Speaker 5: to visit my mother in law ever again. She only

932
00:41:58,480 --> 00:41:59,080
Speaker 5: favors my.

933
00:41:59,080 --> 00:41:59,640
Speaker 3: Brother in law.

934
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:01,680
Speaker 6: Favoritism makes the world spin.

935
00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:05,319
Speaker 5: I twenty four female, and my boyfriend Nathan twenty six male,

936
00:42:05,600 --> 00:42:08,400
Speaker 5: have been together for six years. This year, we traveled

937
00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:12,040
Speaker 5: to his parents' house for Thanksgiving. For context, Nathan is

938
00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:17,040
Speaker 5: one of four brothers Alex single, Jack married to Joe, Nathan, Me,

939
00:42:17,520 --> 00:42:21,680
Speaker 5: and Luke married to Milly with a nearly two year old. Congrats.

940
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:24,720
Speaker 5: Everyone lives out of state except for Luke and Milly

941
00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:27,120
Speaker 5: with a two year old. Nathan and I have the

942
00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:31,120
Speaker 5: longest drive at nine hours. By the way, this comes

943
00:42:31,120 --> 00:42:33,800
Speaker 5: from one Street fifty one on the r slash okay

944
00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:37,520
Speaker 5: storytime subreddit. So here's the issue. Nathan's parents, Mary and

945
00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:41,239
Speaker 5: John have only two gas bedrooms. Three couples tend to

946
00:42:41,360 --> 00:42:44,200
Speaker 5: visit at a time, meaning someone has to sleep on

947
00:42:44,239 --> 00:42:47,200
Speaker 5: an air mattress in between the rooms. The first year

948
00:42:47,239 --> 00:42:50,120
Speaker 5: I visited, I was told they would rotate who gets

949
00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:52,960
Speaker 5: the air mattress to keep a fair but after three

950
00:42:53,040 --> 00:42:56,720
Speaker 5: years on it, we were told it was now first come,

951
00:42:57,000 --> 00:42:59,680
Speaker 5: first serve. Okay, so we're changing the rules up a

952
00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:03,280
Speaker 5: little bit. Nathan's job doesn't allow much holiday. I already

953
00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:05,440
Speaker 5: know how it feels. I live this every day, so

954
00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:08,640
Speaker 5: we're almost always last to arrive and stuck on the

955
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:13,360
Speaker 5: air mattress. While annoyingly we understood it seemed logical, this

956
00:43:13,520 --> 00:43:16,880
Speaker 5: year was different. Nathan and I got Monday through Thursday

957
00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:20,240
Speaker 5: off and would arrive first. I talked to Mary about

958
00:43:20,239 --> 00:43:23,319
Speaker 5: how we were finally gonna get a bedroom, and she laughed, saying, yep,

959
00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:27,239
Speaker 5: first come, first, serve boo. Milly, who I've grown close to,

960
00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:30,080
Speaker 5: knew we were thrilled about the prospect of getting a

961
00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:32,680
Speaker 5: bed this year. She even decided to come early too

962
00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:34,919
Speaker 5: so we could hang out, and we planned I'd take

963
00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:37,600
Speaker 5: the twin room, She'd take the queen Here's where it

964
00:43:37,600 --> 00:43:40,879
Speaker 5: gets frustrating. The day after we left, I texted Mary

965
00:43:40,920 --> 00:43:44,640
Speaker 5: are Eta. A few hours later, Milly texted me saying Luke,

966
00:43:44,719 --> 00:43:47,600
Speaker 5: who had spoken with Mary who mentioned Jack and Jill,

967
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:49,840
Speaker 5: would get the queen room and Luke and Milly the

968
00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:53,840
Speaker 5: twin room, leaving Nathan and Me on the air mattress.

969
00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:54,120
Speaker 3: Again.

970
00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:55,600
Speaker 6: Oh that's not fair.

971
00:43:55,719 --> 00:43:57,960
Speaker 5: I think Luke and Milly can have the queen room.

972
00:43:58,000 --> 00:43:59,560
Speaker 5: And Jack and Jill can get the air mattress.

973
00:44:00,440 --> 00:44:03,120
Speaker 6: Oh they have a newborn, Yeah, the babies.

974
00:44:03,239 --> 00:44:04,080
Speaker 3: You don't have a baby.

975
00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:07,319
Speaker 5: Luke called Mary out, reminding her of the first come,

976
00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:11,080
Speaker 5: first serve rule, but she suddenly claimed she never said that.

977
00:44:12,239 --> 00:44:13,080
Speaker 2: I never said that.

978
00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:16,600
Speaker 5: You're probably acting crazy, you're probably undeads, and justified her

979
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:20,040
Speaker 5: decision because Jack and Jill would be staying an extra day.

980
00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:23,439
Speaker 5: For context, Jack and Jill were arriving a day letter

981
00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:26,960
Speaker 5: than us, so this reasoning felt like an excuse. When

982
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:30,160
Speaker 5: we arrived, Nathan brought up the rule again, but Mary

983
00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:33,279
Speaker 5: got defensive and claimed she didn't remember ever saying it

984
00:44:33,560 --> 00:44:37,359
Speaker 5: and refused to budge. I said several sarcastic comments as

985
00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:39,880
Speaker 5: I felt this was really unfair. I pointed out that

986
00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:42,279
Speaker 5: rules or rules until they didn't serve Jill, and that

987
00:44:42,400 --> 00:44:45,479
Speaker 5: we always do it a certain way until that means

988
00:44:45,560 --> 00:44:48,160
Speaker 5: Jill has to take the air mattress, and she could

989
00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:52,440
Speaker 5: come up with any justification, but that doesn't make it fair.

990
00:44:52,800 --> 00:44:55,040
Speaker 5: I even pointed out that it's silly for us to

991
00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:58,320
Speaker 5: now have to board out dogs and drive eight hours

992
00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:01,600
Speaker 5: before anyone else got here, just to change the rules. Now,

993
00:45:01,719 --> 00:45:03,640
Speaker 5: she had plenty of time to bring this up. With

994
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:07,560
Speaker 5: our many conversations leading up to this, she became increasingly

995
00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:11,800
Speaker 5: sassy about the situation, leaving us feeling defeated and frankly

996
00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:14,759
Speaker 5: a little targeted. Am I the hole for speaking up?

997
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:18,120
Speaker 5: Overthinking Mary unfairly changed the rules to suit Jack and

998
00:45:18,239 --> 00:45:21,000
Speaker 5: Jill and that we're always stuck with the short end

999
00:45:21,040 --> 00:45:23,160
Speaker 5: of the stick and we got a freaking update.

1000
00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:23,719
Speaker 3: Is that fair?

1001
00:45:23,760 --> 00:45:25,080
Speaker 6: It's definitely fair to bring it up.

1002
00:45:25,239 --> 00:45:25,439
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1003
00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:27,759
Speaker 6: No, You've been abiding by these rules and you're like,

1004
00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:29,879
Speaker 6: I'll play the game, I'll follow the rules, and then

1005
00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:32,560
Speaker 6: when it comes to like your time to shine, are like, oh,

1006
00:45:32,719 --> 00:45:34,239
Speaker 6: they haven't change the rules. It's not fair.

1007
00:45:34,320 --> 00:45:35,640
Speaker 5: That makes no freaking sense.

1008
00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:38,600
Speaker 6: I get it. Like if there's a newborn, then I'll

1009
00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:41,120
Speaker 6: be like a little bit lenient, like, okay, someone does

1010
00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:43,680
Speaker 6: deserve a room, but like this is like what's fair?

1011
00:45:43,760 --> 00:45:44,040
Speaker 3: Is fair?

1012
00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:45,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's pretty weird. Not gonna lie.

1013
00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:48,799
Speaker 6: You implemented rules for a reason. It's chaos if you

1014
00:45:48,840 --> 00:45:51,360
Speaker 6: didn't implement the rules, and if we didn't follow the rules.

1015
00:45:51,520 --> 00:45:51,920
Speaker 3: Update.

1016
00:45:52,680 --> 00:45:55,520
Speaker 5: Later Monday night, Nathan spoke to his mom and we

1017
00:45:55,560 --> 00:45:57,840
Speaker 5: did get the bed for one night before Jack and

1018
00:45:57,920 --> 00:46:00,880
Speaker 5: Jill arrived. Initially, it was only offered for us to

1019
00:46:00,920 --> 00:46:03,440
Speaker 5: move to the air mattress into the Queen bedroom for

1020
00:46:03,440 --> 00:46:05,960
Speaker 5: the night, but Nathan pointed out that we were being

1021
00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:07,959
Speaker 5: made to sleep on an air mattress when a bed

1022
00:46:08,120 --> 00:46:11,839
Speaker 5: was readily available. The next morning, Nathan had to run

1023
00:46:11,960 --> 00:46:14,959
Speaker 5: errands where we used to live before we moved. While

1024
00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:17,080
Speaker 5: he was gone, I washed the sheets and had remad

1025
00:46:17,160 --> 00:46:19,120
Speaker 5: the bed, even though Luke and Milly told me I

1026
00:46:19,160 --> 00:46:22,080
Speaker 5: didn't have to wash them, just remake the bed. While

1027
00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:25,320
Speaker 5: everyone in the family is very clean, Mary always insists

1028
00:46:25,320 --> 00:46:28,120
Speaker 5: on washing the sheets between visitors, so I did it

1029
00:46:28,280 --> 00:46:31,120
Speaker 5: out of respect to her preferences. Milli and Luke even

1030
00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:34,000
Speaker 5: offered for us to take their bed. But honestly, it

1031
00:46:34,080 --> 00:46:36,520
Speaker 5: wasn't just about the bed. It was about the promises

1032
00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:39,960
Speaker 5: that were made and then retracted despite those rules being

1033
00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:42,720
Speaker 5: in place for years. It was also about the gas

1034
00:46:42,719 --> 00:46:45,480
Speaker 5: sliding and the fact that Mary didn't tell us ahead

1035
00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:48,160
Speaker 5: of time, even though there were so many chances to

1036
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:50,680
Speaker 5: do so. As close friends to Luke and Milly, I

1037
00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:52,440
Speaker 5: didn't want them to be put in the position of

1038
00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:55,919
Speaker 5: being uncomfortable on the air mattress either. While I've never

1039
00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:58,719
Speaker 5: had a child myself. I know your body isn't the

1040
00:46:58,760 --> 00:47:03,040
Speaker 5: same afterwards, Actually you're back. We ultimately agreed to move

1041
00:47:03,120 --> 00:47:06,200
Speaker 5: the air mattress into Luke and Millie's room since they

1042
00:47:06,280 --> 00:47:09,160
Speaker 5: had a heater and it gave us a little bit

1043
00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:11,440
Speaker 5: of privacy. We tried to make the most out of

1044
00:47:11,480 --> 00:47:15,080
Speaker 5: the holidays, enjoy our time. They are despiding everything. Later,

1045
00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:19,560
Speaker 5: Mary mentioned plans to get two pull out couches, one

1046
00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:21,600
Speaker 5: for the area between the rooms and one for the

1047
00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:25,560
Speaker 5: twin bedroom. While this was thoughtful, it still didn't address

1048
00:47:25,640 --> 00:47:30,000
Speaker 5: the issue of changing the rules to suit others. She's like, Hey,

1049
00:47:30,120 --> 00:47:32,359
Speaker 5: here's the real thing. Why are we not talking about that?

1050
00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:34,959
Speaker 5: Why are we not talking about how much you love

1051
00:47:35,360 --> 00:47:36,000
Speaker 5: brother in law?

1052
00:47:36,120 --> 00:47:38,719
Speaker 6: And not wait because you're not brother in law.

1053
00:47:38,760 --> 00:47:40,440
Speaker 5: All right, We'll stop talking about this air mattress and

1054
00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:42,799
Speaker 5: get to the real thing. Hero p please. Mary has

1055
00:47:42,840 --> 00:47:45,600
Speaker 5: already stated that we will have a bedroom for Christmas,

1056
00:47:45,640 --> 00:47:48,479
Speaker 5: but if this promise is broken again, we won't stay

1057
00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:50,680
Speaker 5: at their house in the future. Nathan and I have

1058
00:47:50,760 --> 00:47:53,040
Speaker 5: decided that if we don't get a bed for Christmas,

1059
00:47:53,400 --> 00:47:55,919
Speaker 5: we'll stay in a hotel. We're still planning on going

1060
00:47:55,960 --> 00:47:59,120
Speaker 5: because it's Luke and Millie's son's birthday for Thanksgiving next

1061
00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:01,960
Speaker 5: year if there isn't enough room or staying home. However,

1062
00:48:02,040 --> 00:48:04,440
Speaker 5: Nathan and I are currently planning on getting a house,

1063
00:48:04,719 --> 00:48:07,040
Speaker 5: and Luke and Milly suggested that once we do, we

1064
00:48:07,080 --> 00:48:09,920
Speaker 5: could host Thanksgiving there. They said they'd love to attend,

1065
00:48:10,040 --> 00:48:12,800
Speaker 5: which is exciting because Millie and I are both avid

1066
00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:16,240
Speaker 5: bakers and love cooking. Whenever Milly and I bring dishes

1067
00:48:16,280 --> 00:48:19,239
Speaker 5: to these gatherings, they're barely touched except by us and

1068
00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:22,319
Speaker 5: our partners. We're also planning to visit Luke and Milly

1069
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:25,920
Speaker 5: more often. They are considering moving closer to the parents,

1070
00:48:26,120 --> 00:48:28,840
Speaker 5: and when they host holidays in the future, will always

1071
00:48:28,880 --> 00:48:31,880
Speaker 5: have a guaranteed place at their home. They have backups.

1072
00:48:32,160 --> 00:48:34,879
Speaker 5: This is just the last time they will be either

1073
00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:36,680
Speaker 5: on the air mattress or on the bed.

1074
00:48:36,800 --> 00:48:39,160
Speaker 6: They're saying put some respect on her name and the rules.

1075
00:48:39,200 --> 00:48:42,920
Speaker 5: To address popular questions for info in the last post,

1076
00:48:43,160 --> 00:48:46,720
Speaker 5: Alex he doesn't come for Thanksgiving. He only saves days

1077
00:48:46,760 --> 00:48:50,200
Speaker 5: off for Christmas. Also, he has rarely gotten put on

1078
00:48:50,239 --> 00:48:53,680
Speaker 5: an air mattress. Only once that I remembered that it

1079
00:48:53,760 --> 00:48:56,359
Speaker 5: was Luke and Millie's wedding when all four of us

1080
00:48:56,400 --> 00:48:58,880
Speaker 5: bros used to come up for holidays. It was Alex

1081
00:48:58,920 --> 00:49:02,080
Speaker 5: and the twin editors note twin bedroom. Luke pre married

1082
00:49:02,160 --> 00:49:05,160
Speaker 5: her girlfriend on the air mattress in that room, Nathan

1083
00:49:05,200 --> 00:49:07,319
Speaker 5: and I in between rooms, and Jack and Jewel in

1084
00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:10,520
Speaker 5: the Queen Hotel. This house is in the middle of nowhere.

1085
00:49:10,640 --> 00:49:13,480
Speaker 5: The closest decent hotel is about forty five minutes to

1086
00:49:13,560 --> 00:49:13,919
Speaker 5: an hour.

1087
00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:14,480
Speaker 3: That's me.

1088
00:49:14,680 --> 00:49:15,480
Speaker 5: That's where I live.

1089
00:49:15,640 --> 00:49:16,120
Speaker 3: Oh wow.

1090
00:49:16,440 --> 00:49:20,000
Speaker 5: The main draw of visiting everyone except parents stay up

1091
00:49:20,080 --> 00:49:22,720
Speaker 5: late evenings playing board games, D and D and drinking.

1092
00:49:23,120 --> 00:49:26,399
Speaker 5: We used to do a wasted gingerbread making contests. As

1093
00:49:26,440 --> 00:49:29,040
Speaker 5: for the distance to a hotel, that would mean missing

1094
00:49:29,040 --> 00:49:32,760
Speaker 5: out on hanging out, and there are no ubers here. Also,

1095
00:49:32,840 --> 00:49:35,239
Speaker 5: before we moved this year, we didn't stay as many

1096
00:49:35,320 --> 00:49:38,160
Speaker 5: days and didn't mind staying on the air mattress one

1097
00:49:38,160 --> 00:49:40,320
Speaker 5: to two to three days due to what had seemed

1098
00:49:40,320 --> 00:49:43,200
Speaker 5: fair to us. Also, we're the second closest couple and

1099
00:49:43,320 --> 00:49:46,200
Speaker 5: just didn't get as much time off, which always made

1100
00:49:46,239 --> 00:49:50,000
Speaker 5: us last. Also, we didn't get a hotel this time

1101
00:49:50,040 --> 00:49:52,399
Speaker 5: after the incident due to saving up for a house

1102
00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:56,240
Speaker 5: slash wedding. We didn't have spare cash floating around. Honestly,

1103
00:49:56,320 --> 00:49:59,879
Speaker 5: y'all know this economy and unexpected expenses, Milli and Luke

1104
00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:03,279
Speaker 5: to live within the state barely is not feasible for

1105
00:50:03,320 --> 00:50:06,600
Speaker 5: them to stay home or stay with them. Also, staying

1106
00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:09,560
Speaker 5: with Milly's parents isn't an option. They don't get along

1107
00:50:09,760 --> 00:50:12,800
Speaker 5: and interact with their child. Milly believes their child deserves

1108
00:50:12,800 --> 00:50:15,600
Speaker 5: a relationship with his grandma, even if she doesn't have

1109
00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:19,960
Speaker 5: a great relationship with her mom. Also, there's no room Mary.

1110
00:50:20,080 --> 00:50:23,080
Speaker 5: This was completely out of character for Mary. In fact,

1111
00:50:23,120 --> 00:50:25,440
Speaker 5: the only person anyone in the house has an issue

1112
00:50:25,440 --> 00:50:28,319
Speaker 5: with is John. Mary is the one who wants all

1113
00:50:28,400 --> 00:50:30,920
Speaker 5: of their sons home for the holidays and goes out

1114
00:50:30,960 --> 00:50:33,840
Speaker 5: of her way to make sure we'll all attend. Usually,

1115
00:50:34,320 --> 00:50:37,000
Speaker 5: Luke does believe the change was due to his dad,

1116
00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:40,399
Speaker 5: and their mom was made the messenger because the mom

1117
00:50:40,480 --> 00:50:43,879
Speaker 5: is usually a big person on fairness and mostly had

1118
00:50:43,920 --> 00:50:46,759
Speaker 5: no issues other than the ones John pushed onto her.

1119
00:50:47,239 --> 00:50:50,720
Speaker 5: This was also backed up by John's reaction to hearing

1120
00:50:50,880 --> 00:50:54,160
Speaker 5: we stayed in the room for one night before this interaction.

1121
00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:57,080
Speaker 5: Mary is one of four people that I've stated I'll

1122
00:50:57,080 --> 00:50:59,840
Speaker 5: take a bullet for due to her normal kindness.

1123
00:51:00,080 --> 00:51:00,640
Speaker 3: Jack and Jill.

1124
00:51:00,800 --> 00:51:03,960
Speaker 5: Most in the house has an issue with them. Previous holidays,

1125
00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:06,160
Speaker 5: they have thrown a fit due to us voting on

1126
00:51:06,200 --> 00:51:08,160
Speaker 5: where to eat and none of us wanted to go

1127
00:51:08,200 --> 00:51:11,200
Speaker 5: where they chose. They refuse to eat with us. Jill

1128
00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:14,000
Speaker 5: was the main issue of this, and similar things have

1129
00:51:14,080 --> 00:51:16,799
Speaker 5: happened every time. This year. Millie asked if we could

1130
00:51:16,800 --> 00:51:19,480
Speaker 5: play the board game in their room one night, as

1131
00:51:19,560 --> 00:51:21,400
Speaker 5: she was on the phone with her sister playing an

1132
00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:23,560
Speaker 5: online game and we didn't have morech room due to

1133
00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:26,920
Speaker 5: their mattress. Jill stated she wasn't willing to and either

1134
00:51:27,160 --> 00:51:29,600
Speaker 5: it was in our room or they weren't playing. They

1135
00:51:29,640 --> 00:51:32,719
Speaker 5: were also the reason we have two board dogs. Their

1136
00:51:32,760 --> 00:51:36,520
Speaker 5: dog is aggressive and with a small child it's not safe. However,

1137
00:51:36,640 --> 00:51:38,640
Speaker 5: if they aren't attending, we are allowed to bring our

1138
00:51:38,680 --> 00:51:40,960
Speaker 5: dogs and you are allowed to attend us every weekday

1139
00:51:40,960 --> 00:51:44,200
Speaker 5: at three pmpsday. We can go live on YouTube, Facebook, Twitch,

1140
00:51:44,400 --> 00:51:47,239
Speaker 5: and TikTok. Just step our profile and we're probably live

1141
00:51:47,320 --> 00:51:52,080
Speaker 5: right now. But these like complicated relationships happening here, It

1142
00:51:52,160 --> 00:51:52,799
Speaker 5: just seems like.

1143
00:51:52,719 --> 00:51:54,600
Speaker 6: I think it's getting very over complicated now.

1144
00:51:54,719 --> 00:51:56,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, I feel like we're just kind of going on

1145
00:51:56,040 --> 00:51:57,560
Speaker 5: the rant here. I'm just gonna finish.

1146
00:51:57,520 --> 00:51:58,040
Speaker 3: Up, Okay.

1147
00:51:58,120 --> 00:51:59,800
Speaker 6: I was just say like it seems like they already

1148
00:51:59,840 --> 00:52:01,880
Speaker 6: have a plan, Like if they really want to just

1149
00:52:02,120 --> 00:52:04,640
Speaker 6: not deal with it, it's like, all right, well it's a crapshoot,

1150
00:52:04,880 --> 00:52:08,080
Speaker 6: Like we lose that ability, so we can do this

1151
00:52:08,280 --> 00:52:11,000
Speaker 6: for a living situation or a better sort of stay situation.

1152
00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:11,680
Speaker 6: I guess you can.

1153
00:52:11,560 --> 00:52:15,120
Speaker 5: Say exactly chronic illness slash pregnancy. For all the comments

1154
00:52:15,120 --> 00:52:19,280
Speaker 5: about pregnancy, Jill is not pregnant. About health reasons, Millie

1155
00:52:19,360 --> 00:52:22,640
Speaker 5: has some chronic illnesses they are still trying to figure out.

1156
00:52:23,080 --> 00:52:25,640
Speaker 5: Jill is used to being overweight side, but has lost

1157
00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:28,520
Speaker 5: a significant amount of weight in the last three years.

1158
00:52:28,800 --> 00:52:32,240
Speaker 5: I have insomnia. Both Milli and I have bipolar disorder

1159
00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:35,919
Speaker 5: and indo metrosis. I said it wrong. Tear me apart

1160
00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:39,520
Speaker 5: in the comments. This inconvenience due to my period usually

1161
00:52:39,600 --> 00:52:42,440
Speaker 5: hitting during the holidays. Wow, and that is the end

1162
00:52:42,440 --> 00:52:45,000
Speaker 5: of the story. Yeah, girl, figure it out. I know

1163
00:52:45,080 --> 00:52:48,680
Speaker 5: what it's like in this situation, being with complicated family

1164
00:52:48,719 --> 00:52:50,759
Speaker 5: members and trying to figure out where to stay and

1165
00:52:50,800 --> 00:52:51,280
Speaker 5: all that stuff.

1166
00:52:51,400 --> 00:52:54,719
Speaker 6: You have to make some sacrifices. It's either the sacrifices

1167
00:52:54,800 --> 00:52:57,319
Speaker 6: you stay on an air mattress, which sucks, or you

1168
00:52:57,480 --> 00:52:59,319
Speaker 6: lose some time and you gotta go live at a

1169
00:52:59,320 --> 00:53:02,040
Speaker 6: hotel that's an hour away. Got to make sacrifices. And

1170
00:53:02,080 --> 00:53:06,120
Speaker 6: that's just the true belief here that with this big family.

1171
00:53:06,280 --> 00:53:08,279
Speaker 5: But that's the end of that story. My in laws

1172
00:53:08,320 --> 00:53:11,480
Speaker 5: didn't appreciate my dinner invitation, so now I'm getting them

1173
00:53:11,520 --> 00:53:14,120
Speaker 5: back with AI. I sent my in laws and invitation

1174
00:53:14,200 --> 00:53:16,319
Speaker 5: for dinner. We still really thought it would be nice

1175
00:53:16,400 --> 00:53:17,960
Speaker 5: if it came from me. By the way, this comes

1176
00:53:17,960 --> 00:53:20,360
Speaker 5: from zoo Keeper Game owned seventeen on the r slash

1177
00:53:20,360 --> 00:53:24,160
Speaker 5: Okay storytime, sub bright religious greetings. Husband was thinking of

1178
00:53:24,200 --> 00:53:28,080
Speaker 5: inviting you next weekend, God willing. Would that work for you?

1179
00:53:28,280 --> 00:53:29,640
Speaker 5: Or do you have other plans?

1180
00:53:29,880 --> 00:53:30,560
Speaker 3: Yes or no?

1181
00:53:30,880 --> 00:53:33,319
Speaker 6: Yes, it's very simple, that's very okay cool.

1182
00:53:33,320 --> 00:53:35,880
Speaker 5: Ten minutes later, father in law called my husband to

1183
00:53:35,920 --> 00:53:39,400
Speaker 5: tell him they wished the message had been longer and warmer.

1184
00:53:39,640 --> 00:53:41,400
Speaker 5: Two to the point they want.

1185
00:53:41,320 --> 00:53:43,280
Speaker 6: A little bit uh, don't touch me a little.

1186
00:53:43,080 --> 00:53:45,040
Speaker 5: Bit of four plan man me a little excited there,

1187
00:53:45,120 --> 00:53:46,239
Speaker 5: make me want a son in law.

1188
00:53:46,400 --> 00:53:46,480
Speaker 1: No.

1189
00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:49,640
Speaker 5: Husband agreed to let me know for next time. The

1190
00:53:49,680 --> 00:53:52,600
Speaker 5: next day, father in law called again over something else.

1191
00:53:52,800 --> 00:53:55,239
Speaker 5: Husband used the opportunity to point out they still had

1192
00:53:55,280 --> 00:53:57,400
Speaker 5: it replied to my message. Father in law told them

1193
00:53:57,440 --> 00:54:00,000
Speaker 5: they would not be replying to me until I fixed

1194
00:54:00,160 --> 00:54:01,120
Speaker 5: it and made it warmer.

1195
00:54:01,520 --> 00:54:04,399
Speaker 6: Greetings, loved ones, please come to this dinner that I'm

1196
00:54:04,400 --> 00:54:07,000
Speaker 6: cooking for you because we would love you there. Please,

1197
00:54:07,080 --> 00:54:08,160
Speaker 6: we really need you there.

1198
00:54:08,239 --> 00:54:10,040
Speaker 5: Pull it up or not? That's what I would have done.

1199
00:54:10,120 --> 00:54:11,640
Speaker 5: One for coming too for not.

1200
00:54:11,719 --> 00:54:14,239
Speaker 6: That's two arm. What is this guy's issue the fact

1201
00:54:14,239 --> 00:54:16,520
Speaker 6: that you got invited to a dinner? Reading this, he

1202
00:54:16,560 --> 00:54:17,720
Speaker 6: had invited to a dinner.

1203
00:54:17,960 --> 00:54:20,400
Speaker 5: They also pointed out that at my job, I have

1204
00:54:20,520 --> 00:54:24,080
Speaker 5: to adopt a certain tone to be perceived as professional.

1205
00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:26,759
Speaker 5: This is the same in a family context. Since they

1206
00:54:26,760 --> 00:54:29,479
Speaker 5: wanted me to adopt the same strategies I used at work,

1207
00:54:29,640 --> 00:54:33,120
Speaker 5: I figured I'd used chat GPT to get frustrating task

1208
00:54:33,239 --> 00:54:35,600
Speaker 5: out of the way as quickly as possible. I showed

1209
00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:39,000
Speaker 5: the AI my original message, told it my in laws complaints,

1210
00:54:39,160 --> 00:54:41,960
Speaker 5: and told it to rewrite it in super warmly, as

1211
00:54:41,960 --> 00:54:46,200
Speaker 5: if I would be perfect insert aniites daughter in law.

1212
00:54:46,680 --> 00:54:51,880
Speaker 5: It came up with an absolutely ridiculous message with emojis everywhere.

1213
00:54:52,000 --> 00:54:54,160
Speaker 5: I copied and pasted it and sent it right after

1214
00:54:54,400 --> 00:54:56,520
Speaker 5: my last left on red invitation.

1215
00:54:56,880 --> 00:54:58,520
Speaker 6: Okay, all right, so it's.

1216
00:54:58,360 --> 00:55:00,000
Speaker 3: Like you wanted this to be professional.

1217
00:55:01,080 --> 00:55:02,279
Speaker 6: I'd see how professional this is.

1218
00:55:02,400 --> 00:55:03,839
Speaker 3: Are you coming or not? Yeah?

1219
00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:05,120
Speaker 6: Like, do you want to come or not? I don't

1220
00:55:05,120 --> 00:55:06,360
Speaker 6: want to send the invite anymore?

1221
00:55:06,400 --> 00:55:06,759
Speaker 5: Come on?

1222
00:55:06,960 --> 00:55:08,359
Speaker 6: Was it a no? Is that like a note?

1223
00:55:08,520 --> 00:55:10,520
Speaker 5: Husband was okay with it, and we sent it together.

1224
00:55:10,719 --> 00:55:12,800
Speaker 5: I first suggested to him I could write a genuine

1225
00:55:12,880 --> 00:55:15,439
Speaker 5: message about my grievance this here, but he pointed out

1226
00:55:15,480 --> 00:55:19,080
Speaker 5: I did so over another petty comment months ago, and

1227
00:55:19,120 --> 00:55:22,000
Speaker 5: it led nowhere. We decided to go with the chat

1228
00:55:22,040 --> 00:55:25,160
Speaker 5: GBT message minus some of the emojis. Father in law

1229
00:55:25,200 --> 00:55:28,400
Speaker 5: works with AI. I have no doubts he can tell

1230
00:55:28,480 --> 00:55:30,839
Speaker 5: this is chat GPT. This is funny. He's like, wait

1231
00:55:30,880 --> 00:55:31,800
Speaker 5: a minute, I programmed this.

1232
00:55:32,120 --> 00:55:33,040
Speaker 6: It sounds like me talking.

1233
00:55:33,120 --> 00:55:34,120
Speaker 5: I put this made.

1234
00:55:34,120 --> 00:55:35,319
Speaker 6: That's the kind of message I want.

1235
00:55:35,360 --> 00:55:37,400
Speaker 5: Even mother in law will know. There is no way

1236
00:55:37,520 --> 00:55:39,560
Speaker 5: either husband and I wrote this. I do kind of

1237
00:55:39,560 --> 00:55:43,440
Speaker 5: feel a bit guilty about the passive aggressiveness of our response.

1238
00:55:43,800 --> 00:55:47,000
Speaker 5: There is a very obvious cultural context here. I understand

1239
00:55:47,000 --> 00:55:49,959
Speaker 5: my culture seems cold to them. The way there seem

1240
00:55:50,080 --> 00:55:52,879
Speaker 5: over the top to me. But as God is my witness,

1241
00:55:53,200 --> 00:55:57,640
Speaker 5: I have unsuccessfully tried everything to communicate with them. They

1242
00:55:57,640 --> 00:56:00,640
Speaker 5: have ignored the new message, no phone call to my husband.

1243
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:03,879
Speaker 5: I don't want this to go nuclear. I just want

1244
00:56:03,920 --> 00:56:06,560
Speaker 5: them to say sure, let's see you next week and

1245
00:56:06,640 --> 00:56:10,000
Speaker 5: pretend to tolerate my cooking. Am I the a holt girl?

1246
00:56:10,080 --> 00:56:12,040
Speaker 5: You were just trying to get a yes or no.

1247
00:56:12,040 --> 00:56:14,600
Speaker 6: Not these people, they're a petty They're like, do it again,

1248
00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:15,920
Speaker 6: but with warmth.

1249
00:56:15,960 --> 00:56:18,480
Speaker 5: These people are like my freaking neighbors. Anytime a car

1250
00:56:18,560 --> 00:56:20,480
Speaker 5: is parked wrong in the street, they're gonna be calling

1251
00:56:20,520 --> 00:56:21,320
Speaker 5: the parking police.

1252
00:56:21,480 --> 00:56:23,640
Speaker 3: Hey, this car is parked wrong. You have to get them.

1253
00:56:23,880 --> 00:56:26,240
Speaker 6: I hate people like that. They're on such a high horse.

1254
00:56:26,360 --> 00:56:27,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, dude, they're like, this is the only thing you

1255
00:56:27,960 --> 00:56:28,759
Speaker 5: have going on your day.

1256
00:56:28,840 --> 00:56:31,400
Speaker 6: You're that bored that you're like this greeting wasn't to

1257
00:56:31,520 --> 00:56:32,880
Speaker 6: your benefit, to your standard.

1258
00:56:32,960 --> 00:56:35,840
Speaker 5: People that always are upset about something, go be grateful

1259
00:56:35,840 --> 00:56:38,440
Speaker 5: about something. When's the last time you said three things

1260
00:56:38,480 --> 00:56:40,520
Speaker 5: you were grateful for? But we got a freaking update.

1261
00:56:40,520 --> 00:56:42,319
Speaker 5: I always here. A couple of weeks ago because my

1262
00:56:42,360 --> 00:56:45,680
Speaker 5: in lost not find my dinner invitation warm enough. We

1263
00:56:45,719 --> 00:56:48,160
Speaker 5: already know what happened. Mother in law did respond to

1264
00:56:48,239 --> 00:56:51,960
Speaker 5: my second message, religious greetings, thank you for the invitation.

1265
00:56:52,560 --> 00:56:55,319
Speaker 5: We will get together soon, God willing. It's not that hard,

1266
00:56:55,360 --> 00:56:56,200
Speaker 5: that's their response.

1267
00:56:56,320 --> 00:56:59,120
Speaker 6: Okay, I mean yes, and we're not being petty.

1268
00:56:59,160 --> 00:57:01,359
Speaker 5: We're not being petty. Did not follow up and let

1269
00:57:01,360 --> 00:57:05,040
Speaker 5: the invitation expire. They did not come. A bit after that,

1270
00:57:05,080 --> 00:57:07,560
Speaker 5: we had a large family gathering at their place, my

1271
00:57:07,680 --> 00:57:11,640
Speaker 5: husband's grandparents, his parents, their kids, and grandkids. I kept

1272
00:57:11,719 --> 00:57:13,919
Speaker 5: the interaction with father in law and mother in law

1273
00:57:13,960 --> 00:57:16,520
Speaker 5: to a minimum. I wass poly I greeted them, but

1274
00:57:16,600 --> 00:57:19,440
Speaker 5: nothing more. I felt I had made enough efforts to

1275
00:57:19,480 --> 00:57:22,040
Speaker 5: try to connect with people that did not respect me

1276
00:57:22,200 --> 00:57:24,520
Speaker 5: enough to reply to a text message. In the past,

1277
00:57:24,600 --> 00:57:27,720
Speaker 5: they have always used my lack of relationship with the

1278
00:57:27,720 --> 00:57:30,000
Speaker 5: rest of the family against me. I was not close

1279
00:57:30,120 --> 00:57:32,880
Speaker 5: enough to sister in law, nor did I not spend

1280
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:35,680
Speaker 5: enough time with the grandmother in law, and it was

1281
00:57:35,760 --> 00:57:38,560
Speaker 5: proof I was not making any effort to integrate into

1282
00:57:38,560 --> 00:57:41,640
Speaker 5: the family. I have tried to explain their family is

1283
00:57:41,760 --> 00:57:44,360
Speaker 5: very large and it takes a while to build relationships

1284
00:57:44,440 --> 00:57:47,240
Speaker 5: with tens of people who are already close knit. But

1285
00:57:47,320 --> 00:57:49,440
Speaker 5: you might as well, try to convince some mountain to

1286
00:57:49,520 --> 00:57:52,720
Speaker 5: move to a different spot. Well, not this time. The

1287
00:57:52,760 --> 00:57:55,480
Speaker 5: younger kids have always been easy. They're not as set

1288
00:57:55,520 --> 00:57:58,440
Speaker 5: in their ways, and they accept me very quickly. I

1289
00:57:58,440 --> 00:58:00,840
Speaker 5: spent hours with the kids playing all over me. The

1290
00:58:00,920 --> 00:58:03,880
Speaker 5: babies used to cry when they saw me. They hate strangers.

1291
00:58:04,040 --> 00:58:06,400
Speaker 5: Not only have they stopped crying, they smile and play

1292
00:58:06,480 --> 00:58:09,080
Speaker 5: with me now. My oldest sister in law also married

1293
00:58:09,120 --> 00:58:12,040
Speaker 5: outside of their culture, so she's always been the most

1294
00:58:12,160 --> 00:58:15,560
Speaker 5: empathetic since she knows what her husband went through with them.

1295
00:58:15,920 --> 00:58:18,160
Speaker 5: My sister in law is a lot more like my

1296
00:58:18,240 --> 00:58:21,200
Speaker 5: mother in law, hard one to win over, but even

1297
00:58:21,240 --> 00:58:23,959
Speaker 5: she soften and now we are in a place where

1298
00:58:23,960 --> 00:58:26,600
Speaker 5: we get along. The final blow, though, is where my

1299
00:58:26,720 --> 00:58:31,040
Speaker 5: husband's grandparents. Father in law's parents are very conservative and

1300
00:58:31,200 --> 00:58:34,400
Speaker 5: would have clearly preferred if he had married within the community.

1301
00:58:34,520 --> 00:58:37,520
Speaker 5: The grandmother barely speaks a word of English. I'm not

1302
00:58:37,640 --> 00:58:41,440
Speaker 5: what they wanted, but even they have moved on. They

1303
00:58:41,560 --> 00:58:43,800
Speaker 5: hugged me and they were clearly happy to see me.

1304
00:58:44,240 --> 00:58:47,360
Speaker 5: Between the facts I now feel comfortable with everyone else

1305
00:58:47,400 --> 00:58:49,720
Speaker 5: and the fact I stopped even trying with them, I

1306
00:58:49,720 --> 00:58:52,520
Speaker 5: guess it dawned on them that my problem was not

1307
00:58:52,640 --> 00:58:55,040
Speaker 5: their family, it was them. It might seem like a

1308
00:58:55,080 --> 00:58:57,960
Speaker 5: small thing to the readers here, but such a level

1309
00:58:58,080 --> 00:59:01,440
Speaker 5: of actual awareness coming from them is nothing less than

1310
00:59:01,480 --> 00:59:04,400
Speaker 5: a miracle from God in my eyes. After the gathering,

1311
00:59:04,760 --> 00:59:07,920
Speaker 5: they are cold, husband again and asked if I hated

1312
00:59:07,960 --> 00:59:10,640
Speaker 5: them and still held a grudge for the fact they

1313
00:59:10,640 --> 00:59:12,920
Speaker 5: opposed us getting married for a long time.

1314
00:59:13,240 --> 00:59:14,000
Speaker 3: I had no idea.

1315
00:59:14,040 --> 00:59:17,280
Speaker 6: You thought that good communication skills.

1316
00:59:17,120 --> 00:59:20,600
Speaker 5: Husband and his infinite patients argued for hours with them

1317
00:59:20,640 --> 00:59:23,600
Speaker 5: and try to explain that when you treat people unkindly,

1318
00:59:23,960 --> 00:59:27,000
Speaker 5: they do not tend to love you back. He pushed

1319
00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:29,800
Speaker 5: back on the idea I was punishing them and reminded

1320
00:59:29,840 --> 00:59:32,120
Speaker 5: them I have tried very hard for months to get

1321
00:59:32,160 --> 00:59:34,520
Speaker 5: along with them, and all I got for it was

1322
00:59:34,560 --> 00:59:38,200
Speaker 5: criticism and ghosting. Whatever else said during that fight, it

1323
00:59:38,320 --> 00:59:40,760
Speaker 5: seemed to have had some sort of effect. And you

1324
00:59:40,800 --> 00:59:43,080
Speaker 5: can be effective if you join us live every weekday

1325
00:59:43,160 --> 00:59:46,880
Speaker 5: through PMPST on YouTube, Twitter, Twitch, and Facebook. Just t

1326
00:59:46,880 --> 00:59:47,480
Speaker 5: have a profile.

1327
00:59:47,480 --> 00:59:48,000
Speaker 3: We don't worry.

1328
00:59:48,120 --> 00:59:49,800
Speaker 6: Okay, Twitter's coming very very easy.

1329
00:59:49,840 --> 00:59:50,280
Speaker 3: I don't know.

1330
00:59:50,560 --> 00:59:53,000
Speaker 5: Just go to every single one and check out for Live.

1331
00:59:53,040 --> 00:59:53,720
Speaker 6: There easy.

1332
00:59:53,760 --> 00:59:55,480
Speaker 5: So I'm glad they're kind of coming around here.

1333
00:59:55,400 --> 00:59:58,760
Speaker 6: I guess. But if this was the ongoing situation, they

1334
00:59:58,760 --> 01:00:01,440
Speaker 6: should have been communicated with way sooner. The fact that

1335
01:00:01,520 --> 01:00:03,760
Speaker 6: you tried to like all of branch. I know you

1336
01:00:03,760 --> 01:00:05,760
Speaker 6: guys don't really like me, but I want to make

1337
01:00:05,800 --> 01:00:07,720
Speaker 6: amends and I want to try to, you know, get

1338
01:00:07,720 --> 01:00:10,680
Speaker 6: to know you guys. And and oh you chop the

1339
01:00:10,720 --> 01:00:13,760
Speaker 6: olive branch by not touching it. I don't understand that.

1340
01:00:14,120 --> 01:00:15,840
Speaker 6: Why do people got to be so ugh?

1341
01:00:16,240 --> 01:00:18,640
Speaker 5: Yeah? Yeah, But here's the end of the story. They

1342
01:00:18,680 --> 01:00:20,960
Speaker 5: have stopped calling husband once a week to give a

1343
01:00:21,040 --> 01:00:23,440
Speaker 5: detailed report of everything I have done wrong during the

1344
01:00:23,520 --> 01:00:25,840
Speaker 5: last seven days. While they can still not accept to

1345
01:00:25,840 --> 01:00:28,200
Speaker 5: see me wearing pants around them. They seem to have

1346
01:00:28,240 --> 01:00:30,360
Speaker 5: given up on trying to convince us I should never

1347
01:00:30,360 --> 01:00:33,160
Speaker 5: wear pants outside of my own house again. Twenty first

1348
01:00:33,200 --> 01:00:36,880
Speaker 5: century reader may be confused by how this constitutes progress.

1349
01:00:37,120 --> 01:00:39,360
Speaker 5: I'm grading on a curve here, and for her credit,

1350
01:00:39,440 --> 01:00:41,880
Speaker 5: I think mother in law has taken the mental load

1351
01:00:41,960 --> 01:00:44,520
Speaker 5: to try and fix the relationship. She's been the one

1352
01:00:44,560 --> 01:00:47,920
Speaker 5: texting me, giving me news, and inviting us to a restaurant.

1353
01:00:48,120 --> 01:00:50,600
Speaker 5: All the emotional labor that used to be mine. Father

1354
01:00:50,640 --> 01:00:52,880
Speaker 5: in law is still a piece of work, but since

1355
01:00:53,120 --> 01:00:55,600
Speaker 5: his parents now like me, not much he can say

1356
01:00:55,680 --> 01:00:59,680
Speaker 5: or do. Ironically, his culture is now working for me.

1357
01:01:00,000 --> 01:01:02,160
Speaker 5: It seems like we got a little happy ending here.

1358
01:01:02,200 --> 01:01:04,439
Speaker 6: Hopefully it looks like it's going in the right way.

1359
01:01:04,480 --> 01:01:07,200
Speaker 6: That's the end of that story and the end of

1360
01:01:07,200 --> 01:01:07,800
Speaker 6: that episode.

1361
01:01:07,960 --> 01:01:11,040
Speaker 5: So if you love us, make sure to subscribe.

1362
01:01:11,080 --> 01:01:13,600
Speaker 6: We love you and see you tomorrow.