1
00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,760
Speaker 1: Buggle up, hold on tie, we got it for you. Here.

2
00:00:02,759 --> 00:00:07,800
Speaker 1: It is a Strawberry letter. Thank you, Tommy. Subject totally confused.

3
00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:11,480
Speaker 1: Just Steve and Shirley. I am a middle aged single

4
00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:14,480
Speaker 1: female who has been dating a man about five years

5
00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:17,560
Speaker 1: my junior. He's a great guy, has great values, is

6
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:22,280
Speaker 1: a family man. But here's the problem. He can't afford

7
00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:26,920
Speaker 1: to buy a ring. I'm not materialistic at all. However,

8
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:30,000
Speaker 1: I am wondering if his inability to purchase a ring

9
00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:33,120
Speaker 1: is a sign that maybe there will be other financial

10
00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:36,040
Speaker 1: issues down the line. Since we met, he has lost

11
00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:40,080
Speaker 1: two jobs, his car, and his house, all because he

12
00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:45,040
Speaker 1: is pursuing an entrepreneurship which is currently not thriving. I

13
00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:48,040
Speaker 1: have a pH d, a great job, a home, and

14
00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:51,280
Speaker 1: I'm doing pretty well for myself. About three years ago,

15
00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:55,000
Speaker 1: I received a huge bonus check, and at that time

16
00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:59,080
Speaker 1: he stated, whatever comes to either of us, either one

17
00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:02,200
Speaker 1: of us, would be both of ours. And he proceeded

18
00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:06,000
Speaker 1: to ask me if he could use some of the

19
00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:10,840
Speaker 1: money to buy me a ring. I thought that was crazy.

20
00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:14,119
Speaker 1: I know that he's trying to get on his feet,

21
00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:16,800
Speaker 1: but it is draining to have to deal with this

22
00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:20,360
Speaker 1: for so long. So here we are three years later,

23
00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:24,360
Speaker 1: and he's still working towards purchasing the ring. I've been

24
00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:27,840
Speaker 1: patient with him, paid his bills, allowed him to use

25
00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:31,600
Speaker 1: my car, giving him gas money. But I'm getting tired

26
00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:35,440
Speaker 1: of extending my resources. Here's my questions. Am I settling

27
00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:38,600
Speaker 1: for someone who may just be a taker? Or is

28
00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:42,200
Speaker 1: it possible that he's just having a bad six year break?

29
00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:47,600
Speaker 1: Totally confused? Okay, dear, totally confused after three years of

30
00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:51,040
Speaker 1: this foolishness. Uh, you should be tired. Uh, you know

31
00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:54,120
Speaker 1: now here, you are a well educated woman. You know

32
00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:56,960
Speaker 1: you have a nice home, a great job, etcetera, etcetera.

33
00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:59,280
Speaker 1: And and you sound like you know you really got

34
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,840
Speaker 1: gotta go going on. I mean, you have a PhD

35
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:05,720
Speaker 1: for having sakes. Um. But but let's have some common

36
00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:08,519
Speaker 1: sense here. Okay, it's just some plain old common sense

37
00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:12,440
Speaker 1: as far as your man goes. Yes, you can pursue

38
00:02:12,639 --> 00:02:16,000
Speaker 1: an entrepreneurship, you know, no problem. I have a problem

39
00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:19,480
Speaker 1: with that at all. You can have lofty goals, big dreams,

40
00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:22,480
Speaker 1: all that. But unless you're already a millionaire, you know

41
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,639
Speaker 1: you still got to get up and go to work here,

42
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:28,079
Speaker 1: you do, you know, until your plan, until your dreams

43
00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:31,360
Speaker 1: come into fruition. I say, it's nice that you helped

44
00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:33,800
Speaker 1: him thus far, but I don't see him doing anything.

45
00:02:33,919 --> 00:02:37,160
Speaker 1: I really don't. All he's doing is talking and allowing

46
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,919
Speaker 1: you to pay for everything, and I don't care. No

47
00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:42,640
Speaker 1: real man, just no real man, is gonna let this

48
00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:45,240
Speaker 1: happen on a continual basis. You know, even to the

49
00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:48,079
Speaker 1: point of using your money to buy you your own ring.

50
00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:51,959
Speaker 1: That is just crazy. It's really crazy. You're confused because

51
00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:54,600
Speaker 1: you know this is crazy. And I say, tell him

52
00:02:54,639 --> 00:02:57,919
Speaker 1: to get off his butt and get a job. Steve,

53
00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:04,520
Speaker 1: ma'am your middle age single female who's been dating a

54
00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:07,680
Speaker 1: man about five years of junior. Okay, that's no problem.

55
00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:11,200
Speaker 1: He's great values, is a family man. What what does

56
00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:13,800
Speaker 1: that mean? He's a family man. But here's the problem.

57
00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:18,960
Speaker 1: He can't afford to buy a ring. I'm not mereistic materialistic. However,

58
00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:21,400
Speaker 1: one of his inability to purchase a ring as a

59
00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:26,200
Speaker 1: sign that maybe other financial issues down the line. What

60
00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:29,440
Speaker 1: you're about to describe to me, he can't afford to

61
00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:32,000
Speaker 1: buy a ring. Listen to this. Since we met, he's

62
00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:36,640
Speaker 1: lost two jobs, his car, and his house, all because

63
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:42,400
Speaker 1: he's pursuing an entrepreneurship, which currently is not thriving. Wait

64
00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:47,280
Speaker 1: a minute, you took all those steps back. If you're

65
00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:51,280
Speaker 1: gonna give up all of that it is to gain what.

66
00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:59,560
Speaker 1: You don't give up two jobs, your car, and your

67
00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:04,800
Speaker 1: high house if you're not trying to gain something. But

68
00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:09,840
Speaker 1: I don't understand the person who gives up that kind

69
00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:13,680
Speaker 1: of stuff. These are necessary things. A place to stay

70
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:16,000
Speaker 1: and a way to get to where you're going, and

71
00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:18,920
Speaker 1: a way to provide for yourself. You don't give up those.

72
00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:22,200
Speaker 1: You give up clubb and you give up liquor, you

73
00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:25,400
Speaker 1: give up gambling. That's what you give up to start

74
00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:27,799
Speaker 1: your business. You don't give up your house and your car.

75
00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:30,960
Speaker 1: Coming up sea, we'll have part two of his response

76
00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:35,440
Speaker 1: at twenty three after the hour. We'll be right back. Okay, y'all,

77
00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:37,960
Speaker 1: here's this woman's dating this guy five years of junior,

78
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,800
Speaker 1: great guy, great values, family men. But here's a problem.

79
00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:42,880
Speaker 1: He can't afford to buy a ring. Now I'm not

80
00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:46,320
Speaker 1: mere materialistic, however, I'm wanting his inability to purchase ring

81
00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:49,200
Speaker 1: is a sign that there may be other financial issues

82
00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:51,560
Speaker 1: down the line. She said. Since we met, he's lost

83
00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:54,160
Speaker 1: two jobs, has called his house all because of pursuing

84
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:57,360
Speaker 1: an entrepreneurship which is currently not thriving. I have a PhD,

85
00:04:57,680 --> 00:04:59,960
Speaker 1: great job at home. I'm doing pretty well for myself.

86
00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:02,440
Speaker 1: About three years ago, I received a huge bonus check

87
00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:04,840
Speaker 1: and at that time he stated, whatever comes to either

88
00:05:04,839 --> 00:05:06,680
Speaker 1: one of us would be both of ours. And he

89
00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:08,640
Speaker 1: proceeded to ask me if he could use some of

90
00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:10,120
Speaker 1: the money to buy me a ring. I thought that

91
00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:12,359
Speaker 1: was crazy. I know he's trying to get on his feet,

92
00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:14,039
Speaker 1: but it's draining to have to deal with this for

93
00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:16,080
Speaker 1: so long. So here we are three years later, he's

94
00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:18,800
Speaker 1: still working towards purchasing the ring. I've been patient with him,

95
00:05:18,839 --> 00:05:21,040
Speaker 1: paid his bills, a lot of music, car giving him

96
00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:23,440
Speaker 1: gas money. But I'm getting tired of extending my resources.

97
00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:25,920
Speaker 1: Here's my question and my settling for someone who may

98
00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:28,520
Speaker 1: be a taker or possibly he's just having a bad

99
00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:31,640
Speaker 1: six year break. Totally confused. Excuse me. He's not having

100
00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:35,280
Speaker 1: a bad six year break. He's having years of making

101
00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:39,520
Speaker 1: bad decisions and now he has a cushion, and the

102
00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:44,200
Speaker 1: cushion is you. So now he has the luxury of

103
00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:49,040
Speaker 1: continuing down the path that he's on. He ain't got

104
00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:51,840
Speaker 1: to get a good job he ain't got to give

105
00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:53,839
Speaker 1: you a He don't even need gas money because guess

106
00:05:53,839 --> 00:05:56,240
Speaker 1: what he used in your car, So he don't He

107
00:05:56,279 --> 00:05:58,120
Speaker 1: don't need his own car because he's using your car,

108
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:01,480
Speaker 1: and you're giving him gas money and you're extending yourself

109
00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:07,440
Speaker 1: because of what. This is not a great guy. Stop

110
00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:10,400
Speaker 1: if then, if you listed the things of great guys

111
00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:13,800
Speaker 1: that you're looking for, would this guy even be anywhere

112
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,760
Speaker 1: near the So what? He's a good family man? Who

113
00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:20,360
Speaker 1: the hell? An he gotta stay with him? Hey, yeah,

114
00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:23,000
Speaker 1: he's a good family man. We're gonna come on, Come on, lady,

115
00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:25,960
Speaker 1: you got a PhD. But you're not thinking the way

116
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,360
Speaker 1: the way you're capable of thinking. And it happens to

117
00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:33,680
Speaker 1: so many people. Listen to me. If he's lost two jobs,

118
00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:36,280
Speaker 1: his kind of house pursuing an entrepreneship which is not

119
00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:40,400
Speaker 1: currently thriving, sounds of me like a bigger problem is

120
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,000
Speaker 1: is he can't make a decision. And I don't think

121
00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:46,240
Speaker 1: the man really wants to marry you. It's what this

122
00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:49,719
Speaker 1: is all boiling down to. Because he keeps using the

123
00:06:49,839 --> 00:06:53,880
Speaker 1: excuse of the ring you've bought into that he can't

124
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:58,520
Speaker 1: forward the ring. Does he really want to marry you

125
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,800
Speaker 1: or does he have so many have so many men

126
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:05,720
Speaker 1: have he has the woman of his dreams. You're perfect.

127
00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:09,320
Speaker 1: We don't need to get married. You're helping me, you're

128
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:13,200
Speaker 1: supporting me, you're taking care of me. Everything a woman

129
00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:17,160
Speaker 1: really wants from a man. You are his man catch.

130
00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:21,240
Speaker 1: You know you're the catch. He's not the catch if

131
00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:24,760
Speaker 1: you let him go right now, not many adult women

132
00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:27,720
Speaker 1: would sign up for this guy, knowing what we know

133
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:30,920
Speaker 1: right now. So how is he a catch? What's great

134
00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:34,520
Speaker 1: about this guy? The great person in this relationship is you,

135
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:37,880
Speaker 1: and you need to be great to yourself because you

136
00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:41,720
Speaker 1: think you're tired of it now. He shows no signs

137
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:45,880
Speaker 1: of changing his behavior at all, So this cycle is

138
00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:48,920
Speaker 1: gonna continue. He ain't ever gonna get you a ring.

139
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:51,640
Speaker 1: He ain't ever gonna pull himself together and get on

140
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:54,680
Speaker 1: his feet, because guess what, he's on his feet. He's

141
00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:58,360
Speaker 1: found everything he needed to find in you. You know.

142
00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:01,440
Speaker 1: And and this thing about right about the time that

143
00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:03,520
Speaker 1: this check was coming, you told him that you had

144
00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:07,240
Speaker 1: this bonus check coming. He stated, right then, anything that

145
00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:11,160
Speaker 1: comes in as ours, both of ours. He ain't bought

146
00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:16,960
Speaker 1: nothing in to be ours. You You are the only

147
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:21,320
Speaker 1: one that has ours. He has put nothing in the

148
00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:25,840
Speaker 1: kiddy to share. You keep sharing your house, your car,

149
00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:29,080
Speaker 1: your gas money. Now here comes to bonus check, you know,

150
00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:32,000
Speaker 1: everything come in his hours. Can I use some of

151
00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:34,280
Speaker 1: the ring money to buy you a ring? No? No, no.

152
00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:37,200
Speaker 1: What that means is, can I use some of the

153
00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:41,160
Speaker 1: money to buy you a ring? To keep holding onto

154
00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:44,160
Speaker 1: this good thing I got, because all you want is

155
00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:46,839
Speaker 1: a ring. If I get you this ring, I can

156
00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:50,000
Speaker 1: keep holding onto this thing that I got, which is

157
00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:52,880
Speaker 1: just you getting the ring. Don't mean you're gonna get married,

158
00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:55,360
Speaker 1: all right, the end. We gotta go. Let's get out

159
00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:59,079
Speaker 1: of this now. Email or Instagram. That's your thoughts on

160
00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:02,480
Speaker 1: today's Strawberry Letter at My Girl Shirley. Okay,