WEBVTT - Ep. 1: Jeselnik meets Tony Romo 0:00:00.280 --> 0:00:03.360 Are you are listening to the Rosenthal and jessel Nick 0:00:03.480 --> 0:00:05.480 Vanity Project, or, as I like to call it, the 0:00:05.519 --> 0:00:20.200 biggest mistake of Anthony's career, Like why are you yelling? Ah? 0:00:20.600 --> 0:00:25.600 Welcome aboard, this is happening the Vanity Project. It's our 0:00:25.640 --> 0:00:29.280 first show. Thank you for listening. It's really our second 0:00:29.280 --> 0:00:34.040 show because we tried to tape a video show Anthony 0:00:34.080 --> 0:00:38.440 about six seven weeks ago. In the NFL was not 0:00:38.600 --> 0:00:40.760 really a big fan of it. They were not on board. 0:00:40.800 --> 0:00:42.440 We didn't just try it. We did it, you know, 0:00:42.479 --> 0:00:45.000 we did it. We did it the best we could. 0:00:45.040 --> 0:00:46.800 And I think the note that came back was I 0:00:46.880 --> 0:00:49.720 did not laugh. Yeah, that that was one. No laughter. 0:00:50.000 --> 0:00:52.199 I laughed, I heard some I could. I heard some 0:00:52.280 --> 0:00:56.640 good feedback, but from the NFL no laughter. Another quote 0:00:56.800 --> 0:00:59.880 was I hated it. That was one. So that the project, 0:01:00.360 --> 0:01:02.640 the project was a little dead on arrival for a 0:01:02.640 --> 0:01:05.720 little a little bit, but we got it back now 0:01:05.800 --> 0:01:08.280 an audio form and we're gonna try to do this 0:01:08.480 --> 0:01:10.760 every week. We're like audio form. You know, they said that. 0:01:10.840 --> 0:01:12.319 I think a lot of people the NFL just thought 0:01:12.360 --> 0:01:15.600 I wasn't good looking enough to really carry a TV show. 0:01:16.040 --> 0:01:17.640 Uh So, Yeah, now we're here on radio, and I've 0:01:17.680 --> 0:01:19.320 got a great I've got a great voice, I've got 0:01:19.360 --> 0:01:21.280 great tones coming out of me. Why yeah, why would 0:01:21.319 --> 0:01:26.560 they want you on their airwaves? I I think, I think, uh, 0:01:26.600 --> 0:01:29.440 you know, we've got the title the Vanity Project, but 0:01:29.800 --> 0:01:31.400 now you're already messing it up right off the bat, 0:01:31.440 --> 0:01:33.760 like it's the Rosenthal and Justly Nick Vanity project. We 0:01:33.800 --> 0:01:35.480 have to stick to it. What did I say? You 0:01:35.520 --> 0:01:38.120 said the Vanity Project. Well, that's like shortening it. But 0:01:38.160 --> 0:01:39.679 it's like shortening it the wrong WAYF you called it 0:01:39.680 --> 0:01:41.840 the Rosenthal and Justly Nick, that would make sense to me. Well, 0:01:41.880 --> 0:01:44.840 either way, it's it's kind of the way the the NFL, 0:01:44.959 --> 0:01:47.880 I guess is looking at it from my perspective, you know, 0:01:48.000 --> 0:01:50.400 from my thing. I I if you're not familiar with me, 0:01:50.440 --> 0:01:52.640 if you're a fan of Anthony, I'm a writer at 0:01:52.760 --> 0:01:56.080 NFL dot Com, NFL Media. I've been here for three 0:01:56.200 --> 0:01:58.000 or four years, which if you are going to be 0:01:58.040 --> 0:01:59.960 a writer, it's like the it's like the top level 0:02:00.040 --> 0:02:01.560 you can be as far as you know, it's like 0:02:01.720 --> 0:02:04.800 NFL network. Uh kind of editor slash writer. And then 0:02:04.840 --> 0:02:07.320 right below that, I would say novelist, you know, but 0:02:07.360 --> 0:02:10.440 you're you're killing it, killing it after I I did 0:02:10.480 --> 0:02:12.639 what eight or nine years before that, Pro Football Talk 0:02:12.720 --> 0:02:16.200 NBC Sports dot Com. You, of course, you're a famous comedian. 0:02:16.720 --> 0:02:19.840 You've had your own show, The Jessel Knick Offensive on 0:02:19.919 --> 0:02:23.840 Comedy Central. You were just the host of Last Comics Standing. 0:02:23.880 --> 0:02:26.720 Don't bring that up over a gun on NBC. Why 0:02:26.760 --> 0:02:28.720 not bring that up? You did a great job. I 0:02:28.760 --> 0:02:30.440 did a great job. I was just unhappy with the 0:02:30.480 --> 0:02:32.720 final product, you know what I mean. It's like if 0:02:32.720 --> 0:02:34.800 we did this, if we did this at the end, 0:02:34.840 --> 0:02:36.639 they were like, oh, hey, great job, guys, but we 0:02:36.760 --> 0:02:38.160 edited out all the jokes and put it on the 0:02:38.160 --> 0:02:40.280 air with your name on it. That's what Last Comic 0:02:40.360 --> 0:02:43.000 Standing was. Well, that that is pretty much what's gonna 0:02:43.040 --> 0:02:45.960 happen here. That's I feel like the subtext of the 0:02:46.160 --> 0:02:50.400 entire show is that you're gonna try to get me fired, 0:02:50.800 --> 0:02:53.079 that you're we're going to talk about subjects and it's 0:02:53.080 --> 0:02:55.080 gonna get edited out, and then you're gonna end up 0:02:55.120 --> 0:02:58.280 getting angry or booted off doing this in the first day. 0:02:58.360 --> 0:03:00.320 Oh yeah, I have bitten every single hand it's ever 0:03:00.360 --> 0:03:02.680 fed me. Even if you're not even trying to feed me. 0:03:02.760 --> 0:03:04.359 You know, if I just see a hand, I try 0:03:04.400 --> 0:03:06.280 to bite it. Um, it happens to me a lot 0:03:06.280 --> 0:03:08.160 in the bathroom. They didn't even want this title, by 0:03:08.160 --> 0:03:09.560 the way. No, they fought us in the title. They 0:03:09.560 --> 0:03:11.800 said the title was kind of too cocky, The Vanity Project. 0:03:11.880 --> 0:03:14.799 And you're like, have you ever seen Anthony Justin do anything? Yeah, 0:03:14.840 --> 0:03:17.280 they were saying it was too negative, like this is 0:03:17.320 --> 0:03:19.520 like the nicest thing that anyone's ever said about you, 0:03:20.240 --> 0:03:22.840 The Vanity Project. Well, let's really let's talk about why 0:03:22.840 --> 0:03:24.480 we have the show, Greg, because I mean, they know 0:03:24.520 --> 0:03:26.000 who we are, they know who you are than who 0:03:26.040 --> 0:03:27.280 we are, but they don't know why we have a 0:03:27.320 --> 0:03:29.720 show together. Like, why would I ever want to do this? 0:03:30.080 --> 0:03:31.760 Why would I ever take time out of my schedule 0:03:31.800 --> 0:03:33.639 to be a part of something like this. Why don't 0:03:33.639 --> 0:03:36.280 you explain? Well, it's yeah, it's a bad career move, 0:03:36.520 --> 0:03:40.200 but you're doing it because we're friends. Going back to college, 0:03:40.440 --> 0:03:44.960 were best friends. We're best friends. Controversial decision at my wedding, Um, 0:03:45.200 --> 0:03:46.960 you know, well we'll get into that some other time, 0:03:47.400 --> 0:03:50.560 but we are we are best friends and we have 0:03:50.680 --> 0:03:55.880 been since uh freshman year of college at two Lane. Um. 0:03:56.000 --> 0:03:58.320 We we met. We we were in the same fraternity 0:03:58.400 --> 0:04:01.200 at two Lane. We both moved out here together in 0:04:01.280 --> 0:04:04.800 Los Angeles when we graduated from college. We also spent 0:04:04.880 --> 0:04:07.240 the summer out here before that. You know, we've kind 0:04:07.240 --> 0:04:09.640 of lived out here at the same time. We've lived 0:04:09.640 --> 0:04:11.840 in New York at the same time. And this is 0:04:11.840 --> 0:04:15.760 our chance to do something cool together, something creative. This 0:04:15.840 --> 0:04:18.320 is your chance to do something cool period. You wanted 0:04:18.360 --> 0:04:20.080 to do it. I wanted to do it. I wanted 0:04:20.160 --> 0:04:22.280 to do it. I wanted to do something like when 0:04:22.320 --> 0:04:23.920 I don't when I'm on podcast, you know, I never 0:04:23.960 --> 0:04:25.880 have to care that much because I'm a guest. Usually 0:04:25.880 --> 0:04:29.839 I can just get that read East and ellis one yes. 0:04:30.160 --> 0:04:32.040 But now that I'm doing this with you, I'm gonna 0:04:32.080 --> 0:04:33.919 put in just as much effort, Like this will be 0:04:34.000 --> 0:04:37.280 no different. So I kind of like just watching you scorm. 0:04:37.320 --> 0:04:39.599 I'm not squirming. I mean I I look at it 0:04:39.640 --> 0:04:42.000 as a chance of two friends. You get a chance. 0:04:42.040 --> 0:04:44.719 How many chances in life are you gonna get to 0:04:44.839 --> 0:04:47.200 do something with your friend that that could be cool, 0:04:47.520 --> 0:04:50.360 creative and that people alike. Well, the NFL network as 0:04:50.360 --> 0:04:54.320 any say, probably zero, probably no chances. So let's let's 0:04:54.360 --> 0:04:56.599 get to some We're gonna talk football on this show. 0:04:57.080 --> 0:05:02.960 We're gonna talk full comedy, football, comedy, friendship, entertainment. Yeah, 0:05:03.000 --> 0:05:05.440 we're gonna talk about our friendship. How about children, what's 0:05:05.440 --> 0:05:08.120 going on in life? Yeah, you're the godfather uh to 0:05:08.360 --> 0:05:11.920 my daughter and and my son. Don't forget about him. Well, 0:05:11.960 --> 0:05:14.000 you boys have to remind you, you know, well you 0:05:14.080 --> 0:05:16.960 decided to choose him. Um, you know I had asked 0:05:17.000 --> 0:05:19.800 you to be my god uh father to my daughter 0:05:19.839 --> 0:05:21.720 a long time ago, and then you you said it 0:05:21.720 --> 0:05:23.719 would be unfair to come over and not give my 0:05:23.760 --> 0:05:26.560 son Walker presence as well. Exactly I spoiled like your 0:05:26.600 --> 0:05:28.400 daughter just turned four years old, and tell him what 0:05:28.480 --> 0:05:31.480 I gave her for for for fourth birthday? What did 0:05:31.560 --> 0:05:34.680 you give her? Now? I remember I gave her. I 0:05:34.720 --> 0:05:40.640 gave her sapphire studded hair Oh my gosh, sapphire studded hairclips, 0:05:41.120 --> 0:05:43.640 which she responded to with I already have a hairclip. 0:05:43.920 --> 0:05:45.600 And then I gave her a diamond necklace which your 0:05:45.600 --> 0:05:47.320 wife will not let her wear. Well, you went, you 0:05:47.360 --> 0:05:50.560 went to the Emmy Sweets gift and sweets before and 0:05:50.600 --> 0:05:52.799 you wouldn't have gone out and bought her hundred dollar 0:05:53.200 --> 0:05:56.240 you know, hundreds of dollars worth of diamonds. It would 0:05:56.240 --> 0:05:57.680 have been like a smash and grab type of thing. 0:05:57.800 --> 0:05:59.960 We're just gone into a case and just gone buck 0:06:00.040 --> 0:06:01.960 while until I came out with stuff. But you happened 0:06:02.000 --> 0:06:03.560 to the birthday party was on the same day that 0:06:03.600 --> 0:06:06.120 you went to this Emmy gift being sweet and then 0:06:06.160 --> 0:06:08.039 just bam, I just went to places and I was like, 0:06:08.080 --> 0:06:09.440 give me something for a four year old girl, and 0:06:09.440 --> 0:06:10.880 I like that. We don't really do that. We actually 0:06:10.920 --> 0:06:12.520 give these to celebrities so they can wear them, and 0:06:12.520 --> 0:06:14.200 I said, give it to him, and you thought you 0:06:14.240 --> 0:06:17.479 were being a hero, but ultimately I just put them away. 0:06:17.520 --> 0:06:19.600 I was like, this, these are not you know, appropriate 0:06:19.600 --> 0:06:22.040 gifts for four year old. She's just gonna eat them 0:06:22.120 --> 0:06:24.000 or throw them away. But I'll give it back to her, 0:06:24.279 --> 0:06:26.040 you know, when she's eighteen or something. Yeah, you guys 0:06:26.120 --> 0:06:29.400 acted like I gave her naked pictures of myself. So 0:06:29.880 --> 0:06:32.479 what have you been up to lately? Anthony? You it's 0:06:32.480 --> 0:06:35.520 been a big week for you. Your Netflix special came out. 0:06:35.640 --> 0:06:37.560 Thoughts and Prayers just came out on Friday. It's been 0:06:37.640 --> 0:06:39.840 very well received. Article in the New York Times today, 0:06:39.920 --> 0:06:41.520 I was gonna bring that up. I mean, this is 0:06:41.560 --> 0:06:44.159 that that has to be the first article ever written 0:06:44.160 --> 0:06:45.920 about you in the New York Times, I think, I mean, 0:06:45.920 --> 0:06:48.680 you've been probably mentioned before, but this was basically a 0:06:48.800 --> 0:06:52.160 think piece about you. Yeah. It was about like how 0:06:52.960 --> 0:06:55.440 how political correctness isn't ruining my comedy. It helps it, 0:06:55.800 --> 0:06:57.839 you know, because I kind of go against that, and 0:06:57.880 --> 0:06:59.200 every way it was. It was a great article. Was 0:06:59.240 --> 0:07:01.640 an honor to have and mentioned. And I just finished 0:07:01.640 --> 0:07:04.400 a tour. I was on tour with Oddball Festival UH 0:07:04.440 --> 0:07:06.640 for the last eight weeks, and actually I had a 0:07:06.680 --> 0:07:09.640 great I had a football running on Sunday I finished that. 0:07:09.680 --> 0:07:12.680 We finished the tour in Dallas, Dallas, Texas, and I 0:07:12.720 --> 0:07:15.800 got to meet Tony Romo. Tony Romo, Yes, I got 0:07:15.800 --> 0:07:18.080 to be perfect. I got to meet Tony Romo. And 0:07:18.360 --> 0:07:20.520 I'll say this before I tell the story. I like 0:07:20.640 --> 0:07:24.120 Tony Romo as much as I can like a cowboy. 0:07:24.360 --> 0:07:26.120 Does that make sense? Like I'm a Steelers guy. You 0:07:26.160 --> 0:07:27.960 know that. I don't really like other players. I don't 0:07:28.000 --> 0:07:30.360 play fantasy because I don't have to root for anyone else. 0:07:30.400 --> 0:07:32.120 But I like Tony Romo. He seems a good guy 0:07:32.160 --> 0:07:34.640 kind I have Red Sox fans felt about Derek Jeter 0:07:34.800 --> 0:07:37.320 for the most part, They're like, well, you know, yeah, 0:07:37.400 --> 0:07:39.040 they respect the way he plays the game. You know, 0:07:39.080 --> 0:07:40.640 he seems like a cool guy. If he played on 0:07:40.640 --> 0:07:42.160 my team, I'd be like, oh, he's my favorite, but 0:07:42.320 --> 0:07:45.160 he's not. Um. So, I get to the show and 0:07:45.200 --> 0:07:47.160 they're like, Oh, Tony Romo is gonna be here. Tony Romo, 0:07:47.200 --> 0:07:49.600 I guess was in the movie train Wreck with Amy Schumer, 0:07:49.640 --> 0:07:51.440 which I saw, but I don't remember him in it, 0:07:51.840 --> 0:07:53.960 but I guess he's in it. I didn't see Tony 0:07:54.040 --> 0:07:55.600 Romo and that he I think he must have done 0:07:55.600 --> 0:07:58.200 a quick cameo or something. Was he in that scene 0:07:58.800 --> 0:08:01.440 with my r of Albert the worst scene in any 0:08:01.440 --> 0:08:06.200 movie ever? I love that. I love that scene. You're 0:08:06.240 --> 0:08:08.360 wrong about that. It's a great movie and that's the 0:08:08.360 --> 0:08:10.480 one of the worst scenes. Marv's one of the best 0:08:10.560 --> 0:08:14.679 act one of the unknown um acting talents of this century. 0:08:14.760 --> 0:08:17.840 Marv Albert, Well, you know what, I agree to disagree, 0:08:18.200 --> 0:08:20.880 all right. So I get them like Tony rom was 0:08:20.920 --> 0:08:23.200 gonna be there, and I'm like, Okay, I'm not that excited, 0:08:23.240 --> 0:08:24.760 but I'm like all right, whatever. That just means like 0:08:24.960 --> 0:08:27.720 more celebrities backstage, so I'm kind of wondering. I'm trying 0:08:27.720 --> 0:08:29.800 to avoid them. And in my in my dressing room, 0:08:29.800 --> 0:08:31.240 I have like a rider where I have alcohol in 0:08:31.240 --> 0:08:33.360 the there's a bottle of tequila, bottle of vodka. Tonight, 0:08:33.360 --> 0:08:35.559 I'm drinking vodka. At the end of the tour, I've 0:08:35.600 --> 0:08:37.480 got I have pulled myself a drinking. I'm wandering around 0:08:37.480 --> 0:08:40.079 and the tour manager comes up to me and he's 0:08:40.080 --> 0:08:42.040 got a little concerned. As I goes, Anthony, we might 0:08:42.080 --> 0:08:45.240 have to get you another bottle of vodka. I say, why, 0:08:45.360 --> 0:08:47.160 what does that mean? Because I mean, this is my bottle. 0:08:47.240 --> 0:08:49.240 It's in my contract, like something bad has happened if 0:08:49.240 --> 0:08:51.440 it's not there anymore. I like that it's in your contract. 0:08:51.520 --> 0:08:54.160 Oh yeah, everyone has. Everyone's gotta ride or something. Backstage. 0:08:54.200 --> 0:08:56.840 Mine is mostly full of booze, maybe a pizza, some 0:08:56.920 --> 0:09:00.880 turkey sandwiches, And they say the the vodka has gone. 0:09:01.200 --> 0:09:05.360 Tony Romo took your vodka. Wow. Now you know, I'm 0:09:05.360 --> 0:09:07.760 not a violent person, but I get angry pretty quick. 0:09:08.200 --> 0:09:10.760 And I immediately become furious because I imagined Tony Romo 0:09:10.880 --> 0:09:12.880 walking into my dressing room, a room with my name 0:09:12.920 --> 0:09:15.400 on the door, walking and taking my bottle of vodka 0:09:15.440 --> 0:09:17.920 and leaving, and I'm furious. I'm like, where is he? 0:09:18.559 --> 0:09:20.320 Show him to me right now. He might have seen 0:09:20.360 --> 0:09:23.120 you ahead of time and been like, this guy thinks 0:09:23.120 --> 0:09:25.360 he's the best looking guy here. He sees you as 0:09:25.400 --> 0:09:30.080 a threat. I mean, I'm sure he sees me, but 0:09:30.160 --> 0:09:32.080 I think he probably just saw me walking around was like, 0:09:32.080 --> 0:09:34.080 that looks tasty. I want it what that guy's having. 0:09:34.080 --> 0:09:35.120 You know, a lot of people look at me and 0:09:35.160 --> 0:09:37.520 they think, what's he doing? How can I copy it? 0:09:37.920 --> 0:09:39.760 But I'm ticked him, like where is he? And they go, no, no, no, 0:09:39.800 --> 0:09:43.520 Tony didn't take it. They say Amy gave it to him. 0:09:43.520 --> 0:09:45.839 He said, could you have any vodka? She's like, does 0:09:45.880 --> 0:09:49.880 Amy Schumer? And in Amy's defense, I had just told 0:09:49.880 --> 0:09:51.360 her that earlier in the day, I threw up in 0:09:51.400 --> 0:09:53.800 a Starbucks. That's how hungover I was. Threw up in 0:09:53.840 --> 0:09:55.680 a Starbucks at three in the afternoon. So I don't 0:09:55.800 --> 0:09:58.320 need that vodka. But it's still mine, you know. So 0:09:58.360 --> 0:10:00.000 I'm a little annoyed. I'm a little bit I'm gonna 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:01.520 let it go. I'm gonna let it go, but I'm 0:10:01.520 --> 0:10:03.679 still kind of ticked about Tony Romo drinking my vodka. 0:10:03.920 --> 0:10:07.160 He's having fun backstage. All of the crew they are 0:10:07.200 --> 0:10:09.920 all Seahawks fans and they're furious they just lost that 0:10:09.920 --> 0:10:12.040 game and they hate Tony Romo and they're like, antone, 0:10:12.120 --> 0:10:13.520 keep with we took your vodka, and I do you 0:10:13.520 --> 0:10:15.200 mean to get him out of the backstage? You mean 0:10:15.240 --> 0:10:17.240 to clear him out? So right before I go on stage, 0:10:17.280 --> 0:10:18.719 they walk up and then like Tony, you gotta you 0:10:18.720 --> 0:10:20.160 gotta get out of He's like looking at them like, 0:10:20.320 --> 0:10:22.760 I'm Tony Romo. Don't they go It's for performers, and 0:10:22.800 --> 0:10:24.880 they just like, with as much disrespect as they can 0:10:24.920 --> 0:10:27.000 push him with this add He's still kind of smiling, 0:10:27.000 --> 0:10:29.360 and I'm about to walk out. The crew says Anthony, 0:10:29.360 --> 0:10:30.920 will be really funny if at the end of your 0:10:30.920 --> 0:10:33.880 set you say the cowboys all right, and this is 0:10:33.920 --> 0:10:36.920 fifteen thousand people in Dallas on a Sunday night. I 0:10:37.000 --> 0:10:39.600 go out and I kill I have a great set. 0:10:40.440 --> 0:10:42.120 At the end, I'm like and then the crowd's going 0:10:42.160 --> 0:10:43.920 crazy for me. And so my final night of the tour. 0:10:44.280 --> 0:10:48.720 So Lizabeon, thank you so much, Dallas, the cowboys, and 0:10:48.800 --> 0:10:50.840 I turned and and the crowd just immediately goes from 0:10:50.920 --> 0:10:54.319 cheering to booze, like thunderbous booze. And I turned to 0:10:54.360 --> 0:10:55.719 walk around. I go to hand the mike to what 0:10:55.760 --> 0:10:57.920 I think is gonna be Jeff Ross. Jeff Ross has 0:10:57.920 --> 0:11:00.440 been hosting the tour, and said, Tony Romo walks out 0:11:01.280 --> 0:11:02.839 and takes the mic from me like he's going to 0:11:02.880 --> 0:11:05.640 introduce Amy, and he's kind of smiling, but he's also like, 0:11:05.640 --> 0:11:07.839 I heard full of what you said. So I just go, oh, 0:11:07.880 --> 0:11:10.880 I know you. You're the who took my vodka. And 0:11:10.880 --> 0:11:13.240 then I handed the mic in front of fifteen thou people, 0:11:13.280 --> 0:11:16.080 and I thought about dropping the mic on the ground. 0:11:16.320 --> 0:11:17.920 That would have been amazing. It would have been amazing, 0:11:17.920 --> 0:11:20.840 but also been not been as classy as just yelling 0:11:20.960 --> 0:11:24.160 the cowboys. And so that's what I think of when 0:11:24.240 --> 0:11:26.080 I think of you, when I think of this entire story, 0:11:26.480 --> 0:11:29.760 I come out with it that class. Yeah, you can 0:11:29.800 --> 0:11:32.560 picture me wearing a tuxedo as I tell it. But 0:11:32.600 --> 0:11:34.600 then I walked backstage and the entire crew was looking 0:11:34.640 --> 0:11:37.280 at me like they just saw a ghosts like we can't. 0:11:37.320 --> 0:11:40.240 We were joking, we said yeah, the Cowboys to all 0:11:40.280 --> 0:11:42.600 of these people. But I am a hero now to 0:11:42.679 --> 0:11:45.120 that entire crew. And in Tony Romo's defense, afterward, he 0:11:45.160 --> 0:11:47.480 came up to me, we talked. He was very nice, 0:11:47.520 --> 0:11:49.600 he was very complimentary. But when he went out on stage, 0:11:50.040 --> 0:11:52.160 he takes the mic and he's like, Hey, every in 0:11:52.160 --> 0:11:53.840 the place is going nuts. They love Tony Rome. When 0:11:53.880 --> 0:11:56.360 he goes, I don't know who that guy was, but 0:11:56.440 --> 0:12:00.240 I think he said some some pretty inexcusable things about 0:12:00.280 --> 0:12:01.920 the Cowboys, and the crowd is kind of like, what 0:12:02.160 --> 0:12:04.959 like an excuse? Okay, He's like, how about we never 0:12:05.040 --> 0:12:07.679 invite him back to Dallas ever again? Huh? And I'm 0:12:07.720 --> 0:12:10.320 just sitting backstage, like, right, Tony, you're gonna ban me. 0:12:10.360 --> 0:12:12.920 I don't think so. Tony Romo has that kind of power. 0:12:13.120 --> 0:12:15.840 He really does. They use a god in uh in Dallas. 0:12:15.880 --> 0:12:18.080 They loved him, so he loved him. You're not really 0:12:18.080 --> 0:12:20.959 missing much and not going back to Dallas. I like Dallas. 0:12:21.160 --> 0:12:23.520 That that that story made me think a couple of things. 0:12:23.559 --> 0:12:26.840 First of all, Tony Romo he should be a hero 0:12:27.080 --> 0:12:31.040 to Seahawks fans for what he did dropping the extra 0:12:31.120 --> 0:12:35.040 point in the two thousand seven Playoffs. Great moment for Seattle. 0:12:35.080 --> 0:12:37.960 Jeff Ross was Tony. Jeff Ross was gonna bring him 0:12:37.960 --> 0:12:40.120 out and roast him before he introduced Amy, and everyone 0:12:40.200 --> 0:12:42.640 was so excited than Tony was like, no, don't roast me. 0:12:42.880 --> 0:12:44.839 But when after he introduced Amy, Ross came out and 0:12:44.880 --> 0:12:46.840 he goes, oh, sorry, guys, Tony Romo just fell and 0:12:46.840 --> 0:12:51.719 got injured himself backstage again crazy. I also want to know, like, 0:12:51.800 --> 0:12:55.840 what what led to the Starbucks Starbucks puking? I mean, 0:12:55.880 --> 0:12:58.880 like had described that moment in terms of the different 0:12:58.960 --> 0:13:02.200 low moments of your life. Where where does that rank. 0:13:02.240 --> 0:13:06.200 I've seen you puke in some like ugly places, so 0:13:06.240 --> 0:13:08.719 I guess maybe it doesn't rank that high. No, it's 0:13:08.720 --> 0:13:10.120 pretty empair. I mean the fact that it was like 0:13:10.160 --> 0:13:12.000 four in the afternoon and I just eatn like oatmeal 0:13:12.000 --> 0:13:13.840 and a cup of coffee. That was tough. But whenever 0:13:13.880 --> 0:13:16.160 I go to Austin, Austin, Texas, what does it to me. 0:13:16.320 --> 0:13:18.120 I'm not a bit I'm not like a crazy drinker. 0:13:18.160 --> 0:13:20.840 But I enjoy my too. I enjoy hurting myself in 0:13:20.880 --> 0:13:23.400 certain ways. But yeah, Austin two nights in Austin, Texas, 0:13:23.440 --> 0:13:25.000 I will be throwing up in a in a coffee 0:13:25.040 --> 0:13:26.640 house the next day. But I did make it to 0:13:26.679 --> 0:13:29.480 a bathroom, which is everyone's first question, because if you 0:13:29.480 --> 0:13:31.720 throw up in a bathroom Starbucks, it's way better than 0:13:32.200 --> 0:13:34.520 throwing up in the middle of a Starbucks. Yeah, that's 0:13:34.559 --> 0:13:37.319 like one of the cleanest places you could be a 0:13:37.360 --> 0:13:41.280 Starbucks night and day. Let's uh, let's go through some headlines, 0:13:41.320 --> 0:13:44.000 shall we? Should we go through the stories of the day, 0:13:44.280 --> 0:13:45.840 don't you don't. I don't know if we can top 0:13:45.880 --> 0:13:48.360 that story each show would be nice if like, yeah, 0:13:48.400 --> 0:13:51.400 this is a show about sports and comedy, you know 0:13:51.400 --> 0:13:53.600 what I mean? If I could tell another professional athlete 0:13:53.760 --> 0:13:57.480 themselves every week, that's pretty amazing about it. Um, But 0:13:57.679 --> 0:14:01.040 why don't we go through some of the headline You 0:14:01.120 --> 0:14:02.840 go through the headlines, I'll jump in if I feel 0:14:02.840 --> 0:14:04.600 like it. If not, I've got my phones. I can 0:14:04.640 --> 0:14:08.080 just kind of scroll through some things. Cameron Heyward been 0:14:08.120 --> 0:14:11.560 in the news this week, my boys, steel You're of 0:14:11.600 --> 0:14:14.320 course a big Steelers fan, big Steeler fan. I loved Ironhood. 0:14:14.320 --> 0:14:16.559 I loved his dad because he played for pitt Yeah, 0:14:16.640 --> 0:14:19.120 and he played for the Saints. We of course they're 0:14:19.560 --> 0:14:21.480 kind of closet Saints fans. At least, I am a 0:14:21.520 --> 0:14:25.360 little bit adopted. Yeah, they're mind like my second favorite team. Ah. 0:14:25.480 --> 0:14:27.600 He got in trouble this week, of course, fined by 0:14:27.680 --> 0:14:34.000 the NFL for wearing his eye black the iron Head 0:14:34.200 --> 0:14:37.800 on it, you know, honoring his father. It's express cancer month, 0:14:37.800 --> 0:14:40.680 but he just wanted to honor his father who he lost, 0:14:41.240 --> 0:14:43.280 and he did it for a second straight week, even 0:14:43.360 --> 0:14:47.160 after or uh he was fined. Um, it turns out 0:14:47.200 --> 0:14:49.760 the NFL and him worked out some sort of agreement. 0:14:49.960 --> 0:14:52.760 I don't know if they reduced the fines or who knows. 0:14:52.800 --> 0:14:55.760 Maybe they agreed to donate something to a certain charity 0:14:55.880 --> 0:14:59.400 they have. They've dropped, dropped the issue. What happen? The 0:14:59.480 --> 0:15:02.200 NFL is in the right here. I mean, I understand 0:15:02.240 --> 0:15:04.040 why they're doing it. I understand. I mean I think 0:15:04.080 --> 0:15:06.720 that the best way you can honor your father is 0:15:06.760 --> 0:15:09.040 by writing his nickname on your face for a little, 0:15:09.040 --> 0:15:10.920 for a couple of hours a week. You know, that's 0:15:11.000 --> 0:15:13.040 you can't really mess with that. I think it would 0:15:13.040 --> 0:15:15.880 be funny if he got like the iron Head eye 0:15:15.880 --> 0:15:18.200 black just tattooed on his face, and then what would 0:15:18.240 --> 0:15:20.600 they do? Yeah, they couldn't do anything about it. Or 0:15:20.640 --> 0:15:24.400 they might just go back and say edited for content. Ah, 0:15:25.240 --> 0:15:28.000 did I go too far? That joke's not gonna make it. 0:15:28.080 --> 0:15:29.800 That's not gonna make it. They're just gonna cut that. 0:15:30.240 --> 0:15:34.280 Maybe not I was thinking of. I was thinking of, 0:15:34.560 --> 0:15:36.560 like when I initially saw you were in the New 0:15:36.600 --> 0:15:39.760 York Times today, I was thinking of immediately emailing that too. 0:15:40.360 --> 0:15:43.960 Um the particular Shadowy League figure that said he didn't 0:15:44.040 --> 0:15:46.040 laugh at our show, that he hated our show the 0:15:46.080 --> 0:15:47.760 first time, And I was gonna be like, just let 0:15:47.840 --> 0:15:50.760 us have the title that we want. They have. This 0:15:50.800 --> 0:15:52.680 guy has an article in the New York Times. But 0:15:52.720 --> 0:15:56.480 then I was looking and in the third paragraph of 0:15:56.520 --> 0:15:59.560 the article, it basically mentions all the different types of 0:15:59.680 --> 0:16:04.520 joke that you had, and it said something like molestation. Uh, 0:16:05.080 --> 0:16:08.800 cancer was one of them. What else did they have? 0:16:08.960 --> 0:16:11.080 Pretty much all the greatest hits, all the bad ones. 0:16:11.520 --> 0:16:13.880 They could add breast cancer. That would be good to 0:16:13.920 --> 0:16:18.680 add the um the other headline this week, I don't 0:16:18.720 --> 0:16:24.800 know how to get out of that. Donuts, Donuts, Donut Time, 0:16:24.960 --> 0:16:28.800 what they called the donut Party. The Minnesota Vikings have 0:16:29.080 --> 0:16:35.800 a donut club which they get together every Saturday morning, 0:16:36.200 --> 0:16:40.200 very early in the morning in the morning, well at 0:16:40.200 --> 0:16:43.240 seven fifty in the morning, the Minnesota Vikings have an 0:16:43.320 --> 0:16:46.440 unveiling of the donuts, but you can't touch them for 0:16:46.480 --> 0:16:50.840 the first ten minutes, which seems ridiculously childish. I don't 0:16:50.840 --> 0:16:52.080 think so. I think that was like the part that 0:16:52.120 --> 0:16:54.160 made sense to me was that they make everybody like 0:16:54.480 --> 0:16:56.240 when I heard When I first heard about the story, 0:16:56.600 --> 0:16:58.120 I first I thought, like, people are gonna get mad 0:16:58.120 --> 0:16:59.920 at them, you know, like if this this is the Vike, 0:17:00.080 --> 0:17:02.200 but it was the Steelers. Because I just heard Donut Party, 0:17:02.240 --> 0:17:04.240 I'm like, are you telling me the entire team wakes 0:17:04.359 --> 0:17:06.320 up like three hours before they have to on a 0:17:06.320 --> 0:17:08.480 Saturday morning, eats as many donuts as they can. Because 0:17:08.520 --> 0:17:10.840 that's what it sounded like. That's not that's not great 0:17:10.840 --> 0:17:14.320 athletic behavior. Well not only that, but Jared Allen, who 0:17:14.440 --> 0:17:17.320 was featured in the piece of Former Viking, had the 0:17:17.400 --> 0:17:19.359 right idea that one of the they had many rules 0:17:19.359 --> 0:17:22.359 of donut club, and including don't talk about donut club, 0:17:23.040 --> 0:17:25.359 but that's been blown out of the water with this article. 0:17:26.000 --> 0:17:27.480 One of them was you have to show up on time. 0:17:27.520 --> 0:17:29.960 There's no one shows up late. But Jared Allen got 0:17:29.960 --> 0:17:32.360 around it. By he would pay for the donuts. Every week. 0:17:32.400 --> 0:17:34.280 It's strolling an hour and a half or two hours 0:17:34.359 --> 0:17:36.560 later when they actually had to be there. He seemed 0:17:36.600 --> 0:17:38.000 like he knew what he was talking about. I mean 0:17:38.040 --> 0:17:41.400 they're talking, they're acting like donuts are some sort of contraband, 0:17:41.720 --> 0:17:43.680 like the like the toughest thing that you could smuggle 0:17:43.720 --> 0:17:45.199 in that you have to take a look at it 0:17:45.240 --> 0:17:47.320 for ten minutes. And it's only three dozen donuts. It's 0:17:47.359 --> 0:17:49.760 not that many. I mean, I don't know what donuts cost, 0:17:50.119 --> 0:17:53.160 but it can't be it can't be that much. Yeah, 0:17:53.440 --> 0:17:55.520