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Speaker 1: All from Joe.

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Speaker 2: Hello. Yeah, what's your name, sir?

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Speaker 3: My name is Joe.

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Speaker 2: How's it going, Joe?

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Speaker 3: Dude, it's going pretty good. It's nice to talk to you, finally.

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Speaker 2: Nice to talk to you too.

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Speaker 1: Man.

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Speaker 4: I'm uh, I'm in a chill mood. I think everything's

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Speaker 4: gonna be okay.

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Speaker 2: But who knows that?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean who knows? I think, Uh, I don't know.

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Speaker 4: I think I got to just start accepting life for

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Speaker 4: whatever it is.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Maybe I don't know. Maybe I don't know. I don't know.

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Speaker 4: I don't know how much I I fucking won't shut

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Speaker 4: up about this on the on the show, and it

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Speaker 4: just in my own brain. But I don't know how

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Speaker 4: much of life is how much of life is improving

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Speaker 4: external circumstances versus accepting them.

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Speaker 2: I think it's combination of both.

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Speaker 3: But sure, yeah, no, I mean that's kind of going

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Speaker 3: off for what I want to talk to you about

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Speaker 3: a little bit today.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Like, I've just had a few few circumstances in life

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Speaker 3: that kind of kind of hit me early on and

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Speaker 3: now it's just, you know, I'm trying to deal with them.

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Speaker 3: But I don't know, man, I feel like they kind

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Speaker 3: of get me down sometimes and cards to get out

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Speaker 3: of that depression, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 2: Okay, what? Yeah? What are they? So?

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Speaker 3: Dude? I was big into the gym a few years ago,

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Speaker 3: and honestly I had I had a few injuries that

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Speaker 3: I never took care of and they devolved into something

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Speaker 3: pretty bad. And then I don't know, over time it

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Speaker 3: got it got worse and worse. Eventually I had surgery,

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Speaker 3: you know, I got some you know, I got some

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Speaker 3: racist and back issues now. So lifting has kind of

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Speaker 3: never been the same since then, and that was like

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Speaker 3: a big thing that kind of made my life really important.

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Speaker 1: Man.

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Speaker 3: Now it's pretty it's pretty hard to find something that

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Speaker 3: brings me the same meaning, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 4: Hmm, Okay, So you can't lift anymore because of these injuries.

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Speaker 3: It's not that I can't, It's just that it's it's

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Speaker 3: a little, uh, I have some limitations, that makes sense.

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Sure? How old are you?

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Speaker 3: I am twenty two?

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Speaker 4: And you said that lifting you're having a hard time

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Speaker 4: finding something that gives you the same amount of meaning.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, bro, it's like that. That really brought me a

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Speaker 3: lot of meaning back because I used to work at

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Speaker 3: a gym and I still do some personal training, but

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Speaker 3: that was really a big thing for me in my teens,

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Speaker 3: Like in high school I used to do a lot

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Speaker 3: of lifting to track and stuff like that. And then

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Speaker 3: I finally got a job at the gym when I

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Speaker 3: was like eighteen, so that was exciting for me. And

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Speaker 3: then yeah, I was just really into it. And then

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Speaker 3: these injuries came up, and like, you know, I knew

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Speaker 3: in my head that you know, they were going on,

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Speaker 3: but I hadn't really gotten them checked out, and like

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Speaker 3: a timely mannered they kind of developed into something worse.

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Speaker 3: So over time it just got, you know, worse, and

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Speaker 3: now it's years later, I'm having a hard time just

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Speaker 3: coping with that, if that makes sense.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so why do you think you can't find anything

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Speaker 4: else that gives you meaning?

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Speaker 3: I feel like that was a good way for me

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Speaker 3: to kind of deal with the mental stuff I had

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Speaker 3: going on. So I kind of, you know, I told

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Speaker 3: you I have a lot of anxiety that I was

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Speaker 3: just kind of born with. Yeah, so I sort of

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Speaker 3: I sort of struggle with that, and you know, the

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Speaker 3: lifting was a way for me to deal with that.

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Speaker 3: And then also just like my insecurities, dude, honestly, like,

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Speaker 3: I just you know, I've never been like fully, I

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Speaker 3: don't know. There there were some things that I was

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Speaker 3: insecure about in high school, you know, my height, ship

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Speaker 3: like that, and then I would always lift and I'd

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Speaker 3: be like, you know, this is this is the way

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Speaker 3: that's going to make me feel better. So that that

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Speaker 3: was kind of a big thing for me.

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Speaker 4: So the meaning you get when you say meaning, I mean,

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Speaker 4: do you really just mean like because me, I don't

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Speaker 4: know if is meaning the words you mean because do

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Speaker 4: you just mean like it makes you feel better or

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Speaker 4: physically mentally?

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Speaker 3: I would think I would say that, yeah, you know

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Speaker 3: if that If that doesn't make sense, I guess I'll

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Speaker 3: kind of put it like this. It was it was

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Speaker 3: more so the whole, the whole unity in it too,

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Speaker 3: because that was also a little bit into a little

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Speaker 3: bit into bodybuilding. Yeah, so it was more like I

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Speaker 3: had these visions of like, Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna

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Speaker 3: do this bodybuilding thing, and I'm constantly working towards this,

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Speaker 3: uh this one goal, and that would sort of become

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Speaker 3: that sort of become my motivation. Every day. I'd be like, Okay,

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Speaker 3: you know, I'm gonna get this, uh this amount of

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Speaker 3: meals in I'm gonna, you know, go hit the gym

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Speaker 3: for this amount of time, hit hit these uh these

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Speaker 3: muscle groups, and it was it was going pretty well,

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Speaker 3: and I enjoyed it a lot. And you know, like

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Speaker 3: I said, I had, I was dealing with some other

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Speaker 3: stuff like anxiety, some insecurities. And then you know that

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Speaker 3: was even around the time, like I wasn't doing so

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Speaker 3: well in school, so I'd be like, Okay, you know,

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Speaker 3: I'm not gonna I'm not gonna worry about school because

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Speaker 3: I got this other thing going on in the in

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Speaker 3: the gym, and that's I guess that sort of uh

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Speaker 3: that was very satisfying for me, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 3: I don't know, just.

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Speaker 1: I guess.

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Speaker 3: Does that make sense when I say meaning now?

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Speaker 2: Uh? Yes, yeah.

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Speaker 4: So one of the things I like to think about

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Speaker 4: a lot, and I think about this with my own life,

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Speaker 4: is like there's kind of these uh this there's like

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Speaker 4: desires that you have as a person, sure, and then

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Speaker 4: there's vessels to fulfill those desires. Not to get uh

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Speaker 4: actually this is not I was gonna say, not to

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Speaker 4: get spiritual, but this is like actually very not spiritual

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Speaker 4: at all. This is like this is like this is

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Speaker 4: like logistical, empirical, actionable ship.

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Speaker 2: So so you.

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Speaker 4: Want like, yeah, you want community, You want to be

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Speaker 4: around other people.

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Speaker 2: You want to have a fucking computer all the time.

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Speaker 4: You want to be around to the people you want

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Speaker 4: to It sounds to me and and like like like

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Speaker 4: you know, clarify, but it sounds like bodybuilding. It was

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Speaker 4: something you were good at, so you felt competent. There

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Speaker 4: was other people involved in it, so you had a community.

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Speaker 4: I mean, those two things alone make can make a

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Speaker 4: person very happy. And the bad news is that your

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Speaker 4: body is basically made a fucking tissue paper and can

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Speaker 4: get fucked up very easily, and it's unfortunate that that's

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Speaker 4: what happened.

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Speaker 2: But the good news is that.

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Speaker 4: Of the things that exist in the I mean, you're

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Speaker 4: only twenty two, you got a good fifty eight more

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Speaker 4: years left to live. Maybe we'll see, but yeah, but

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Speaker 4: there's so infinite many things that I'm sure you could

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Speaker 4: find out in the universe that you can get good

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Speaker 4: at to give you a sense of competence, and that

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Speaker 4: you can do with other people to give you a

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Speaker 4: sense of community. So just like I know it gets

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Speaker 4: hard and I've been there, before where you get really

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Speaker 4: invested in a hobby or a thing, or a career

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Speaker 4: or just anything, and then you're like, oh, I don't

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Speaker 4: know if you know what.

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Speaker 2: You don't want to go back down.

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Speaker 4: You don't want to climb down the mountain because you're

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Speaker 4: so invested in. However much time you put into a

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Speaker 4: thing feels like if you tried to do it again,

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Speaker 4: it would take forever but the best you but it's

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Speaker 4: to sit and kind of dwell and be like, oh, no,

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Speaker 4: I'm fucked because I can't do this one specific thing

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Speaker 4: out of the infinite things that will fulfill my desire

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Speaker 4: for community and feeling like I'm worth a shit.

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Speaker 2: Is not a good idea because there's so many.

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Speaker 4: It's like it's like the it's the abundance versus scarcity scarcity.

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Speaker 4: People always get mad at me when I say that word,

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Speaker 4: this abundance versus scarcity mindset, You know what I mean?

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Speaker 4: So so what else? So is there anything else that

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Speaker 4: you can do? Like the wheelchair basketball or what's going on?

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Speaker 3: Luckily it's not at that point yet. I mean, I'm

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Speaker 3: pretty like, I'm pretty fine. To me, I might have

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Speaker 3: over exaggerated a little bit. It's just you know, kind

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Speaker 3: of thinking about from where I was a few years

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Speaker 3: ago to where I am now. You know, there are

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Speaker 3: just times when I feel like, Okay, maybe I could

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Speaker 3: be doing I could be at a little bit of

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Speaker 3: a better position. Sure, you know if these injuries never happened,

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Speaker 3: like kind of going off.

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Speaker 2: But that stuff. But you can't.

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Speaker 4: But you can't, you I'm I'm you can't think about

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Speaker 4: that that way. Yeah, you can't, because life just throws

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Speaker 4: fucking wrenches at you and.

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Speaker 2: You just have to, Uh, I don't.

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Speaker 4: I just think you have to kinda take take it

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Speaker 4: all in, like you were not, like like nothing was.

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Speaker 2: Ever going to be perfect. Maybe maybe maybe for some people.

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Speaker 4: It is, but not but for most people nothing, nothing

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Speaker 4: was ever going to be perfect the whole time.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, man, And you know, just to I mean kind

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Speaker 3: of go off of that. I was thinking more about

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Speaker 3: how just for for a long time, I think I've

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Speaker 3: I've built this kind of almost body, this morphia sort

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Speaker 3: of thing going on. We're now like when I'm when

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Speaker 3: I'm in the gym or i'm training someone, I see,

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Speaker 3: you know, I see these other people and I know

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Speaker 3: it's not a good, good habit to be looking at

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Speaker 3: other people or comparing, but you know, sometimes it's hard

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Speaker 3: to be like, Okay, you know, what if what if

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Speaker 3: this never happened and you know, had to had I've

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Speaker 3: been able to achieve you know what this guy's got

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Speaker 3: going on, And I know that that's not healthy. But

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Speaker 3: I'm just being honest with you here that that's Those

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Speaker 3: are the thoughts that kind of come into my mind.

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Speaker 3: And yeah, I'm kind of slowly working my way out

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Speaker 3: of that, you know, years and years course of kind

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Speaker 3: of body body image problems.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, Joe, you already know this, but you you, you,

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Speaker 4: and there are natural thoughts that we all have. We

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Speaker 4: look at we're always comparing ourselves to other people because

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Speaker 4: there's no there's no real like fucking guidebook to anything,

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Speaker 4: So you're just always looking at other people. I do

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Speaker 4: this too, and I have to remind myself you can't

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Speaker 4: fucking do that, you know. Yeah, you can't compare, You

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Speaker 4: really can't.

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Speaker 2: You really can't compare. Not only you really can't.

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Speaker 4: Not only you not only can you not compare yourself

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Speaker 4: to other people. That's gonna fuck you, but you're gonna

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Speaker 4: really fuck yourself if you compare yourself to other potential

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Speaker 4: versions of yourself were events difference, Like if you sit

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Speaker 4: around and you're like, you're like, oh, my life could

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Speaker 4: have been so much different if this happens, or if

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Speaker 4: this didn't happen, or if I didn't make this mistake.

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Speaker 2: But it's just just no reason to do that.

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Speaker 4: If you you know, if you're gonna compare yourself to anyone,

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Speaker 4: compare yourself to the version of yourself that decided that

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Speaker 4: none of that shit matter, then you and that you

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Speaker 4: were gonna go off and make a good life for

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Speaker 4: yourself anyway, if you're gonna compare yourself to anyone, compare

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Speaker 4: yourself to that guy, because that's that's the guy that

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Speaker 4: that you could still be.

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Speaker 3: You know. Yeah, man, you know, trying to remind myself,

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Speaker 3: you know, we're only in a competition with ourselves. So

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Speaker 3: I mean it's hard when like it's writing in your

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Speaker 3: face sometimes, but it's just it's just every day Bail

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Speaker 3: trying to kind of reinforce that, Yeah, that makes a

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Speaker 3: lot of sense.

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Speaker 2: No, I'm always uh.

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Speaker 4: I mean also just I know, I know you're not

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Speaker 4: with the whole comparing yourself to other people thing.

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Speaker 2: It's a strong like.

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Speaker 4: Unhappy, it's a strong sense of unhappiness and that. But

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Speaker 4: there's also there's another version of it where like, uh,

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Speaker 4: you can compare yourself to people who are where you

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Speaker 4: can you compare yourself to people who are like less

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Speaker 4: fortunate than you, and you're like, well, at least I'm not,

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Speaker 4: you know, Like I think for a while, I was

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Speaker 4: a lot of times in my life where I was

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Speaker 4: kind of self conscious about my height, you know, and

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Speaker 4: I'm like, yeah.

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Speaker 3: I don't know if you heard me, but that's that's

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Speaker 3: another thing that I was kind of almost compensating forward

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Speaker 3: with this living thing because I'm I'm barely five seven,

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Speaker 3: Like I'm trying to I'm trying to, you know, deal

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Speaker 3: with that is also you know, something that I grew

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Speaker 3: up with, you know, in high school and.

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Speaker 4: With all these Yeah, i mean I'm barely five seven too,

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Speaker 4: but it's always but you know how much worse it

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Speaker 4: could have been for us.

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Speaker 2: It could have been so much.

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Speaker 3: Worse for a fucking that fucking angry Bagel guy on.

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Speaker 4: YouTube, like we could have in the Angry Bagel on YouTube,

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Speaker 4: like you really can't do you you know what, you

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Speaker 4: know what it is, and I actually I'm so glad

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Speaker 4: that you called in to talk about this because I

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Speaker 4: just came, really, I came to an epiphany about.

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Speaker 2: This that I'm happy to share.

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Speaker 4: Is like, I'm really I'm beginning to really feel like

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Speaker 4: comparing yourself to other people, you're trying to cherry pick life.

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Speaker 4: You're trying to like take everything that's good about everyone

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Speaker 4: else's life and everything that ever could have been good

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Speaker 4: about your life and remove everything that's bad and cherry

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Speaker 4: pick yourself this perfect life made up.

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Speaker 2: Of only the things that are good about about other

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Speaker 2: people's lives and you. And you just can't do that.

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Speaker 4: You can only have you can only have somebody else's

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Speaker 4: good things. When you're like, when you're comparing yourself to

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Speaker 4: another person, you can only have their good things if

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Speaker 4: you take all the bad things that happened to them too.

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Speaker 4: Like when you're watching a guy in the gym and

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Speaker 4: you're like, oh, this guy's in good shape. I wish

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Speaker 4: I could be in as good shape as him. You're

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Speaker 4: not disc you're discounting all how all everything in that

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Speaker 4: guy's life the horrible.

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Speaker 1: You know what I mean?

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Speaker 4: You have that comes in a package deal. You can't

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Speaker 4: just take all the good things out of everything you

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Speaker 4: see and use it to make perfect life that doesn't exist.

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Speaker 2: So you just gotta take you just.

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Speaker 4: Gotta kind of I guess, I guess take stock of

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Speaker 4: whatever is good in your own life and just be like,

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Speaker 4: thank god, I have this little more. Thank God I'm

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Speaker 4: five six and I'm not you know, the to whatever

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Speaker 4: how the bagel guy's heights.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, thank god I have.

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Speaker 4: I have fucking have have something. You know, if you

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Speaker 4: sit around and you're like, I have this thing, but

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Speaker 4: it's not enough. I need this guy's thing, and I

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Speaker 4: need I need this guy's thing, but I don't want

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Speaker 4: this guy's thing. This guy's has this thing that I

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Speaker 4: don't want.

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Speaker 2: But I.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you can't, but I don't want you know, his

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Speaker 4: horrible childhood or whatever the fuck you know you can't

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Speaker 4: do you just can't do that. And I and by

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Speaker 4: the way, I'm like giving, I'm giving a whole spiel

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Speaker 4: right now, but I forget this all the time, and

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Speaker 4: I'm I'm like, oh.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, man, it's human. It's human nature to to feel,

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Speaker 3: you know, Like you said, these stuffs are natural, and

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Speaker 3: I think we're all dealing with them, to be honest,

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Speaker 3: and nobody's perfect, so we're never gonna be able to

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Speaker 3: be in a situation where we see someone who's you know, bigger, better,

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Speaker 3: whatever the case might be, and just automatically, you know,

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Speaker 3: just remind ourselves that we, you know, we shouldn't be

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Speaker 3: doing that. I think it takes a lot of time,

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Speaker 3: and you know, honestly, talking to you, it's been you know,

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Speaker 3: awesome getting that that insight and you know, just continuing

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Speaker 3: to practice that stuff is super important.

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Speaker 2: There's also.

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Speaker 4: Well I also think about it a lot in my

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Speaker 4: own self because I think a lot of the times

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Speaker 4: I wish that, uh, like you, like you wish you

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Speaker 4: didn't make certain you just wish you made different decisions

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Speaker 4: in your own life, or you wish something. You just

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Speaker 4: wish that certain things didn't happen a certain.

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Speaker 2: Way, and you can't. But you also made good decisions.

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Speaker 4: With your life, you know, and you think about that.

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Speaker 2: You can't. You can't. You can't cherry pick this ship.

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Speaker 4: It's just your life and the way you lived it,

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Speaker 4: and every single thing about you up until this point

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Speaker 4: in your life is what it is, and it's major

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Speaker 4: who you are, and you're grateful. You got to fucking

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Speaker 4: ever be anything and go from there, and go from there.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, don't don't.

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Speaker 4: Dwell, don't dwell that you that you that your legs

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Speaker 4: are broken. I mean that probably sucks. By the way,

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Speaker 4: I just see I'm I'm yeah, yeah, I mean that.

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Speaker 3: Probably my legs aren't broken. It's not that bad.

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Speaker 4: But okay, because I was talking to you, I was

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Speaker 4: talking to and I was kind of like I was,

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Speaker 4: I was thinking about my life, and I was like, well,

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Speaker 4: at least my legs aren't broken like this guy's legs.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, No, No, I'm kind of over exaggerating it.

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Speaker 3: It's more of just like I have like little pains

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Speaker 3: here and there from like hold injuries. It's nothing that's

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Speaker 3: like immobilizing or anything like that. But I get exactly

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Speaker 3: what you're saying.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, well, well, thanks for letting me, Thanks for letting

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Speaker 4: me go on this fucking.

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Speaker 2: Gary Vaynerchuk's speech to you, this folk.

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Speaker 3: Man, Thank you THO was really insightful and I'm glad

350
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,000
Speaker 3: I finally got to, you know, talk to you that

351
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Speaker 3: that shit was awesome.

352
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Speaker 2: What's your name again?

353
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Speaker 3: My name is Joe. Joe.

354
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Speaker 4: Is there anything else you want to say to the

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Speaker 4: people of the people who are folding their laundry while

356
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Speaker 4: they're listening to this.

357
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Speaker 3: Yes, you know, continue to have a positive outlook on

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Speaker 3: life and keep keep being you. I think he said

359
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Speaker 3: a best while. I appreciate it.

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Speaker 1: Man.

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Speaker 2: Hey, thanks Man. Take take to Joe, take care of Joe.

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Speaker 2: See you later.

363
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Speaker 3: Man, you two while talk you Man.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. I'm just thinking about this stuff

365
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Speaker 2: a lot. I've been thinking about this stuff a lot

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Speaker 2: because I've been thinking about.

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Speaker 4: My own personal goals in life, and I've decided that

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Speaker 4: my main goal for twenty twenty five, I'm gonna d

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna finish out this year. I'm not gonna put

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Speaker 4: a pressure to start this year. But my main goal

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Speaker 4: for twenty twenty five is to not be going insane

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Speaker 4: all the time.

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Speaker 2: It's my main goal.

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Speaker 4: Because I feel like I'm really grateful for the way

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Speaker 4: that my life is panned out so far. I've gotten

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Speaker 4: to meet so many people, I've got to do so

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Speaker 4: many really cool, incredible things. I really think if I

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Speaker 4: died tomorrow, I did it. You know, I did good.

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Speaker 4: So now I'm just like and I'd like to continue

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Speaker 4: living the rest of my life creating things and.

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Speaker 2: Doing stuff. But if I have to go, if I

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Speaker 2: have to go, insane to do it, you know what

383
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Speaker 2: I mean? Then I don't know if it's worth it.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna keep rambling.

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Speaker 4: This is fun because like h like, anxiety can be

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Speaker 4: kind of can be like a motivator, can motivate you

387
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Speaker 4: to do things, can motivate and put kind of a

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Speaker 4: fire under your ass to accomplish stuff. And and it

389
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Speaker 4: also makes you afraid of losing of losing things too,

390
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Speaker 4: And so that kind of motivates you to do things.

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Speaker 4: And and you kind of think if you kind of

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Speaker 4: think to yourself like, oh, I need this anxiety that's

393
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Speaker 4: going insane. I need it to be and to do

394
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Speaker 4: anything to be like uh, to accomplish things in my life.

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Speaker 4: And to a certain degree, I think that is a

396
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Speaker 4: little true.

397
00:19:04,359 --> 00:19:05,760
Speaker 2: I think that is a little true.

398
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Speaker 4: But also at a certain point, the anxiety just makes

399
00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:14,560
Speaker 4: your At a certain point, you have to you have

400
00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:19,600
Speaker 4: to have a little meeting with your you're the parts

401
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:24,600
Speaker 4: of your brain that are constantly on edge and going insane,

402
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:28,879
Speaker 4: and go, Okay, are we is this really? Will life

403
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:36,080
Speaker 4: be better without this? Can we leave this behind and

404
00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:41,520
Speaker 4: still uh you still live the kind of life we

405
00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:45,320
Speaker 4: want to live. I'm pretty that's about that's, by the way,

406
00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:46,240
Speaker 4: that's a hypothesis.

407
00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:47,360
Speaker 2: I'm not saying.

408
00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:50,879
Speaker 4: It's very by the way, it's very well possible that

409
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:56,120
Speaker 4: you should be anxious, don't I'm not. I'm not here

410
00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:59,040
Speaker 4: to tell anyone that they it's possible. It's my it's

411
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:04,679
Speaker 4: very possible that you should be anxious if your life sucks.

412
00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:10,400
Speaker 2: I think if your life, if life sucks and.

413
00:20:10,359 --> 00:20:13,560
Speaker 4: You're anxious that your life sucks, and that anxiety propels

414
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:21,000
Speaker 4: you to like this idea that you hate yourself into submission,

415
00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:23,240
Speaker 4: and that causes you to do things.

416
00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:24,359
Speaker 1: Uh.

417
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:28,920
Speaker 2: I mean, it's worked for me so far. But that's all.

418
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:33,480
Speaker 4: Like, that's the only playbook I have ah to offer.

419
00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:35,800
Speaker 4: But I think I'm gonna try to try a new playbook.

420
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:39,240
Speaker 2: So I don't know. I don't know. I don't know

421
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:42,359
Speaker 2: if you should hate yourself or not. That's real. I'm

422
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:48,320
Speaker 2: not being facetious. I'm not. I'm not I'm not. I'm

423
00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:50,840
Speaker 2: not a I'm not a doctor, I'm not a psychologist.

424
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Speaker 4: I'm gonna, I'm gonna. I'm just a guy diarrhea in

425
00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:03,919
Speaker 4: into a microphone about whether or not it is good

426
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,160
Speaker 4: to hate yourself. I hope this whole ramt made sense.

427
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:12,280
Speaker 4: It made a lot of sense to me. Uh okay,

428
00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:13,400
Speaker 4: let's take another call.

429
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Speaker 1: All from Chris.

430
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:19,440
Speaker 2: How you doing, buddy, What's up?

431
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:22,080
Speaker 1: What's going on? Man?

432
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:22,480
Speaker 3: Dude?

433
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Speaker 1: You know the first thing that I wanted to say

434
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,119
Speaker 1: is how weird it is that I want to talk

435
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:30,159
Speaker 1: to a gecko. I'm here. I think I must have

436
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:31,400
Speaker 1: called a hundred times.

437
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:33,560
Speaker 2: It is weird. It is where I find it very

438
00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:35,200
Speaker 2: I went.

439
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:40,919
Speaker 4: So I had a live show in uh DC, like

440
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:46,320
Speaker 4: a couple of years ago, and my best friend Ryan

441
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:50,199
Speaker 4: came and he saw that there was like and he

442
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:52,080
Speaker 4: came and he saw, you know, everyone like kind of

443
00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:59,240
Speaker 4: I meet everyone after the shows and uh you know,

444
00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:01,040
Speaker 4: there's a big line of people that I was talking to,

445
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:03,240
Speaker 4: and after I spoke to all of them, I was

446
00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:06,239
Speaker 4: talking to Ryan and he was like, he was like,

447
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:06,879
Speaker 4: you know.

448
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:10,879
Speaker 2: No offense, but I think it's kind of I was.

449
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:13,119
Speaker 4: I was looking at that line and I was like,

450
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:15,399
Speaker 4: all these people want to talk to Lyle.

451
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,560
Speaker 2: So that's not I feel too.

452
00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:23,600
Speaker 1: No, not center o, but do That's like the main

453
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:25,840
Speaker 1: reason I listened to you. I think you're very introspective.

454
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:28,159
Speaker 1: I love your take on things, and you know, I

455
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:29,960
Speaker 1: had a question, man, so I got some stuff that

456
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,040
Speaker 1: I want to talk about, but I have a question,

457
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:34,320
Speaker 1: and I want to know, like, do you believe in God?

458
00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:34,760
Speaker 4: Like?

459
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:37,639
Speaker 1: I know it's kind of personal, but I'm just curious,

460
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:38,960
Speaker 1: and I'm not.

461
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:40,960
Speaker 4: Like you could you could have asked. You could have

462
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,800
Speaker 4: asked some much more personal questions. Wait is it you

463
00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:45,399
Speaker 4: say you had a couple of questions? This is the

464
00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:46,560
Speaker 4: first of a couple questions.

465
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:49,720
Speaker 1: No, I had something else. I had some other stuff

466
00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:52,439
Speaker 1: I want to talk about. Okay to me, but I

467
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:53,440
Speaker 1: was just curious.

468
00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:55,120
Speaker 2: No, I don't, but I don't.

469
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:58,920
Speaker 4: Uh do I believe in God?

470
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:03,040
Speaker 2: Do I believe in God? I don't believe like not.

471
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:05,080
Speaker 2: I don't think I believe.

472
00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:10,720
Speaker 4: In God in any way that has currently been expressed.

473
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:13,160
Speaker 4: I don't know if I like, like all the like

474
00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:15,880
Speaker 4: like the classic religions like Christianity. I don't think any

475
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:19,040
Speaker 4: of that stuff is real or Judaism or anything.

476
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:20,560
Speaker 2: I don't. I don't believe in like a God, like

477
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:22,120
Speaker 2: a guy. Like I don't think it's a guy.

478
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:24,760
Speaker 1: Uh, I hear you, dude, I understand.

479
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:27,920
Speaker 2: I think I think but I but I think that.

480
00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:35,000
Speaker 4: Uh, I think that like human consciousness is this is

481
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:41,920
Speaker 4: like an insane, magical, god like kind of fucking unexplainable

482
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:50,119
Speaker 4: thing like our own consciousness is is uh, it's like magical,

483
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:55,840
Speaker 4: it's it's not of uh, it's like not realistic in

484
00:23:55,880 --> 00:24:00,639
Speaker 4: a way. So I would believe that there's something that's uh.

485
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:05,119
Speaker 4: I would believe that consciousness is a spectrum and that

486
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:10,960
Speaker 4: we are not necessarily at the furthest right hand side

487
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:13,359
Speaker 4: of the spectrum, and that there there could be something

488
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:14,560
Speaker 4: more conscious than us.

489
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,320
Speaker 2: Okay, you know, but I don't. I don't think there's

490
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:20,000
Speaker 2: like a I don't. I don't know if I believe

491
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:20,600
Speaker 2: in Jesus.

492
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:23,920
Speaker 1: I get you, dude, I totally get where you're coming from.

493
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:26,280
Speaker 2: Man, you sound like sound like you sound like you're

494
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:29,600
Speaker 2: you believe in God. That's why you're That's the response

495
00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:29,920
Speaker 2: of someone.

496
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:33,760
Speaker 1: So I was raised in a Christian househo, and I've

497
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:36,320
Speaker 1: gone through my bouts, and you know, I don't. I

498
00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:39,119
Speaker 1: still don't fully know if I believe. But what I

499
00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:42,040
Speaker 1: do is uh, you know, I I whenever I get

500
00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:44,280
Speaker 1: a second man, I try to thank God for uh,

501
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:47,399
Speaker 1: you know, like struggles and ship. But not only because

502
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:49,480
Speaker 1: I believe in God, but more so because it keeps

503
00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:51,840
Speaker 1: me humble and it keeps me thinking myself. But I

504
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:55,200
Speaker 1: just I just recently started doing that, and I feel

505
00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:57,399
Speaker 1: like it's made me a little bit happier of a person.

506
00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:01,160
Speaker 1: So whether or not God is real doesn't necessarily matter.

507
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:04,240
Speaker 1: I'm not like a Bible reader and ship, but you know,

508
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:06,080
Speaker 1: I think keeps me humble. Man, I like it.

509
00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:07,600
Speaker 2: Well, let me tell you this.

510
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:11,280
Speaker 1: I pray, dude.

511
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:13,200
Speaker 2: I pray. I well, because here's the thing.

512
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:18,119
Speaker 4: I there's I don't necessarily believe that there's like an

513
00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:21,960
Speaker 4: external force that makes the things of the universe the

514
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:27,680
Speaker 4: way that they are. But I think all all the time. Uh,

515
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:32,520
Speaker 4: and it's like all the time. I I'll like, I'll like,

516
00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:36,199
Speaker 4: I got through airport security yesterday and and it was

517
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:40,239
Speaker 4: not very busy, and so while I was waiting for

518
00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:44,000
Speaker 4: my bag to come out, I just I just started praying.

519
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:47,440
Speaker 4: Like I put my hands together and I looked up

520
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:53,680
Speaker 4: and I was just like, please, you know, please, and

521
00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:57,439
Speaker 4: thank you. That's what there's I just say. I just

522
00:25:57,520 --> 00:25:59,920
Speaker 4: look I clasp my hands and I look up to

523
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:02,080
Speaker 4: this guy. I don't know who I'm talking to, but

524
00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:07,119
Speaker 4: I just say like please, fucking just please, please, and

525
00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:11,480
Speaker 4: fucking thank you. Oh my god, thank you, Jesus Christ,

526
00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:16,639
Speaker 4: thank you, oh my God, because I feel very because

527
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:19,680
Speaker 4: I'm very because it's like, uh, you know, amways anxious,

528
00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:22,480
Speaker 4: and so it's like please let everything It's like, please

529
00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:27,240
Speaker 4: let everything be okay, and thank you for every morsel

530
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:30,080
Speaker 4: of everything in my life that's okay. Right now, I

531
00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:32,240
Speaker 4: don't know who to ask please to and I don't

532
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:33,800
Speaker 4: know who to say thank you to, so I just

533
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:35,960
Speaker 4: clap clasp my hands.

534
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:36,720
Speaker 2: And look up.

535
00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:39,960
Speaker 1: That's crazy, dude. You sound like you're explaining what I'm

536
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:41,760
Speaker 1: thinking right now. I feel the same way, Dude. I

537
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:43,439
Speaker 1: totally agree with you. And so that was kind of

538
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:44,920
Speaker 1: one of those things that I think about because I

539
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:47,240
Speaker 1: don't necessarily know what I believe, but I think I

540
00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:50,399
Speaker 1: believe in something, dude, and just saying thank you, and like,

541
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:53,080
Speaker 1: you know, looking at things a different way, like instead

542
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,520
Speaker 1: of like looking at everything that makes me mad is

543
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:57,720
Speaker 1: like an issue, you know, I look at it is

544
00:26:57,880 --> 00:26:59,920
Speaker 1: like maybe something out there is just trying to show

545
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:02,240
Speaker 1: it's a better way, dude, Like, well, I'm sure there's

546
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:04,160
Speaker 1: a better way to go about it. And getting all

547
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:09,440
Speaker 1: mad and like saying, somebody, but why don't you feel Sometimes.

548
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:13,080
Speaker 4: Well, I don't my main thing is like I really

549
00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:17,800
Speaker 4: don't know why I am me and like another person

550
00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:20,240
Speaker 4: is another Like you like you'll see like a guy

551
00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:25,280
Speaker 4: on the street and you're like, uh, I just I'm like,

552
00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:27,960
Speaker 4: there's no fucking.

553
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:31,159
Speaker 2: Reason why I'm me and he's him.

554
00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:33,439
Speaker 4: I mean there's like empirical reasons, like you know, we

555
00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:36,120
Speaker 4: grew up differently and blah blah blah blah and all

556
00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:40,040
Speaker 4: that stuff, but like what why is my consciousness and

557
00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:43,360
Speaker 4: my why why I Why am I.

558
00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:46,040
Speaker 2: Living my experience? And why is he living his?

559
00:27:46,359 --> 00:27:49,440
Speaker 4: I'm pretty sure I believe in free will, but there's

560
00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:55,919
Speaker 4: also something weirdly deterministic about why we end up the

561
00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:59,080
Speaker 4: way that we do, because there's like when I see

562
00:27:59,119 --> 00:28:00,960
Speaker 4: it on the street, I'm like, Okay, he probably was

563
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:04,879
Speaker 4: born to like he probably had shitty parents and probably

564
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:07,320
Speaker 4: grew up shittier than I did, and that led them

565
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:10,280
Speaker 4: every that caused something in his brain that maybe made

566
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:11,760
Speaker 4: different decisions, And it.

567
00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:14,480
Speaker 2: Was like, well, what why the fuck was.

568
00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:17,359
Speaker 4: He born into that lived experience and I was born

569
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:20,480
Speaker 4: into mine. There's there's no there's a reason I'm not

570
00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:22,600
Speaker 4: like an inherent like none of I don't think any

571
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:25,159
Speaker 4: of us were like as babies were like inherently fucking

572
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:28,720
Speaker 4: like blessed to live good lives and others to live

573
00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:29,359
Speaker 4: shitty ones.

574
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:32,320
Speaker 2: So I just have no ight. I can't I really

575
00:28:32,359 --> 00:28:33,480
Speaker 2: can't explain that.

576
00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:36,520
Speaker 4: Like you can explain that empirically, but you can't explain

577
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:39,480
Speaker 4: cosmically why these things are the way they are.

578
00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:43,400
Speaker 1: I think I've also thought about that thing. I think

579
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:46,280
Speaker 1: of life. There's like a series of decisions. Dude, you're

580
00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:48,760
Speaker 1: always pretty every second of every day, You're presented with

581
00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:51,120
Speaker 1: a series of decisions, and your decisions do you where

582
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:53,120
Speaker 1: you want to go? I don't want to wake up

583
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:55,440
Speaker 1: to go to work out every morning at four o'clock

584
00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:57,760
Speaker 1: in the morning. But you know what, I realized that

585
00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:00,000
Speaker 1: if I don't, then that's gonna have identplications on my life.

586
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:02,240
Speaker 1: Some people don't care, and some people aren't able to

587
00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:04,840
Speaker 1: think about the future, but I'm blessed enough to be

588
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:07,240
Speaker 1: able to so I do. I know a lot of

589
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:11,160
Speaker 1: people around me, specifically, like I got one homie that

590
00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:14,360
Speaker 1: I mean, dude, he makes great money, but his girlfriend

591
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:16,320
Speaker 1: is just a piece of shit and she does not

592
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:18,240
Speaker 1: want to go to work, and so they struggle every

593
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:20,320
Speaker 1: day even though he works as the ass off, and

594
00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:22,240
Speaker 1: I got another homie that's worked at the same place

595
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:24,280
Speaker 1: for like ten years and it makes like twenty bucks

596
00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:26,800
Speaker 1: an hour. I'm like, dude, I don't know. And it's

597
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:30,440
Speaker 1: not like they're not skilled people, but yeah, it's hard.

598
00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:32,640
Speaker 2: I think about that too, I really.

599
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:36,240
Speaker 4: I it's weird because I believe in free will, but

600
00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:39,160
Speaker 4: I also am like, you know, because you have the

601
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:42,280
Speaker 4: ability to make your own decisions that determine what happened

602
00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:47,840
Speaker 4: in your life. But a part of my soul just

603
00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:49,000
Speaker 4: feels like, is I.

604
00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:53,560
Speaker 2: Why are some people.

605
00:29:55,360 --> 00:30:00,040
Speaker 4: Predisposed to make certain decisions that others are not?

606
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:01,760
Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean?

607
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:06,080
Speaker 4: Like, No, I get you, dude, I'm not even I'm

608
00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:07,600
Speaker 4: not I'm just fucking around with this.

609
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:09,040
Speaker 2: I'm just thinking. I just think about this stuff. I

610
00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:12,320
Speaker 2: don't have, like it's definitive opinions on it.

611
00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:15,160
Speaker 1: And I don't think any of this too, but it's

612
00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:15,880
Speaker 1: cool to think about.

613
00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:18,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, what the call, dude?

614
00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:21,320
Speaker 1: So that's like, so could I switch gears for a site? Yeah?

615
00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:21,680
Speaker 2: Sure?

616
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:24,760
Speaker 1: So that's like a big reason that I actually listened

617
00:30:24,760 --> 00:30:26,800
Speaker 1: to your podcast, dude, because I really like to take

618
00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:29,280
Speaker 1: on things, and I think that the advice that you

619
00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:32,320
Speaker 1: give people, even though sometimes vague. I think that's probably

620
00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:35,280
Speaker 1: like the same shit that I would say. And actually,

621
00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:37,640
Speaker 1: through listening to your podcast, man, I actually just went

622
00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:41,000
Speaker 1: to my first therapy session last week. I think I'm

623
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:44,360
Speaker 1: actually doing pretty al right. I got some pretty manageable problems,

624
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:49,880
Speaker 1: but just unpacking seems kind of nice. So I started ut, you.

625
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:51,600
Speaker 2: Started going to therapy because of the podcast.

626
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:54,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, I started thinking about it. Well, not strictly

627
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:57,280
Speaker 1: because of the podcast. You know, where the seat actually

628
00:30:57,400 --> 00:31:00,000
Speaker 1: blossom goes through, like Charlotte and the God off the breakfast.

629
00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:03,480
Speaker 2: Cool, let him. Let Charlotte and the God can have

630
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:04,520
Speaker 2: this one, for sure.

631
00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:07,520
Speaker 1: Well, it was just that was the first place I

632
00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:09,440
Speaker 1: had ever heard of it, like, you know, people being

633
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:12,360
Speaker 1: open about that and uh, you know, actually going to

634
00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:15,560
Speaker 1: therapy and talking about it and not feeling weird about it.

635
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:17,600
Speaker 1: But then I listen to your podcast all the time

636
00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:19,640
Speaker 1: I kind of thought about like what I would tell myself,

637
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:22,480
Speaker 1: and I mean, dude, just go unpack me and clear

638
00:31:22,520 --> 00:31:24,960
Speaker 1: your head out a little bit. It's weird.

639
00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:25,320
Speaker 2: It's weird.

640
00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:28,360
Speaker 4: I didn't intend I uh, I didn't ever. I don't

641
00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:31,000
Speaker 4: think I ever intended to be like a therapy guy.

642
00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:35,080
Speaker 4: It happened very accidentally, dude.

643
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:35,920
Speaker 1: I love your story.

644
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:36,160
Speaker 2: Man.

645
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:37,920
Speaker 1: I wish that I would have cast ali saw some

646
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:40,920
Speaker 1: shit like you did. I'm twenty seven. I live in

647
00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:43,800
Speaker 1: the middle of Illinois, dude, and every day I wake

648
00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:45,840
Speaker 1: up and I think about, how the fuck maybe I

649
00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:48,720
Speaker 1: could just not have to go to work tomorrow. No,

650
00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:52,320
Speaker 1: I know I have to, but it sucks ass and

651
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:54,600
Speaker 1: I don't want that, dude. If I could do something

652
00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:57,680
Speaker 1: like you do, dude, I would love that shit. Even

653
00:31:57,720 --> 00:31:59,840
Speaker 1: if I could work for somebody like you and be

654
00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:02,600
Speaker 1: a fucking assistant, that would be amazing.

655
00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 4: So, well, you said you had a thing in particular

656
00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:07,680
Speaker 4: you wanted to talk about.

657
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:08,760
Speaker 2: Is this it? What is the thing?

658
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:11,640
Speaker 1: No? No, I was just riffing with you, and so

659
00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:13,920
Speaker 1: do the You know what, man, dude, I've been a

660
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:16,360
Speaker 1: heavy drinker for the past like ten years and I'm

661
00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:19,280
Speaker 1: twenty seven, so it's been a good person in my life.

662
00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:22,880
Speaker 2: Okay, are you still a heavy drinker?

663
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:26,880
Speaker 1: Yeah? I just cracked one right now, dude. I'm working

664
00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:29,600
Speaker 1: on it, and I'm slowly trying to taper off and

665
00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:33,200
Speaker 1: work on a big topic in my therapy.

666
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:34,560
Speaker 2: But yeah, so I'm curious.

667
00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:37,280
Speaker 4: Well, uh, I mean you know, I'm not a real therapist,

668
00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:39,480
Speaker 4: but I'm down to chat about this shit.

669
00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:39,959
Speaker 1: Uh.

670
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:48,240
Speaker 4: So, like, uh, here's what's awesome about alcohol is that,

671
00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:51,520
Speaker 4: Uh I think people are generally happier when they're in

672
00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:54,840
Speaker 4: the present and they're not like depressed about the past

673
00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:55,800
Speaker 4: or worried about the future.

674
00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:57,560
Speaker 2: And alcohol does.

675
00:32:57,360 --> 00:33:05,320
Speaker 4: A really good job of making you fully present. Then

676
00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:07,560
Speaker 4: you have to pay for it later. You know, you're

677
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:11,800
Speaker 4: you're borrowing from the future for that presence. But like,

678
00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:15,080
Speaker 4: that's why it's it's condictive, is because you're it's you're

679
00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:19,200
Speaker 4: it's like the short cut to living in the present.

680
00:33:21,920 --> 00:33:23,640
Speaker 1: So I guess I think it's a good take.

681
00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:28,920
Speaker 2: So I'm curious about this. What uh what is preventing

682
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:30,160
Speaker 2: you from living in the present?

683
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:35,560
Speaker 1: You know, it's a good question, man, That's one that

684
00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:36,440
Speaker 1: I haven't talked about.

685
00:33:38,120 --> 00:33:38,320
Speaker 3: You know.

686
00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:40,560
Speaker 1: I think I I I to suffer from a lot

687
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:45,960
Speaker 1: of anxiety. I think that myself prevents myself from connecting

688
00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:48,280
Speaker 1: with other people the way I would like to, whether

689
00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:54,360
Speaker 1: that be getting frustrated or feeling not understood or I'm

690
00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:56,520
Speaker 1: not really sure, you know, Like that's a that's a

691
00:33:56,680 --> 00:34:00,720
Speaker 1: very it's a very tough question, you know, but I

692
00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:02,320
Speaker 1: think that's probably the base of it.

693
00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:07,600
Speaker 2: What's your real therapist tell you?

694
00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:11,799
Speaker 1: Well, I just had my first session last week, so

695
00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:15,680
Speaker 1: I haven't really figured it out yet, but you know,

696
00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:18,680
Speaker 1: we talk a lot about uh, you know, are in

697
00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:21,359
Speaker 1: the one session, I was talking a lot about, Yeah,

698
00:34:21,440 --> 00:34:23,200
Speaker 1: do you ever feel like life is kind of just

699
00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:25,800
Speaker 1: like on repeat? Sometimes? Like you wake up, well, I

700
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:28,600
Speaker 1: mean maybe now you wake up, go to work, come home,

701
00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:33,080
Speaker 1: go to sleep, like kind of just feels yeah. Anonymously,

702
00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:37,560
Speaker 1: I guess, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think that's

703
00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:39,400
Speaker 1: also a big problem with it. And you know, I

704
00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:42,080
Speaker 1: know that you also have tried stand up comedy, man,

705
00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:45,320
Speaker 1: and you know, through watching Kill Tony Man, it's actually

706
00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:46,759
Speaker 1: been one of the things that I wanted to do,

707
00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:48,879
Speaker 1: is just get up on stage somewhere and open mic.

708
00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:51,319
Speaker 1: I got a couple of jokes I've written might not

709
00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:53,640
Speaker 1: be the funniest, but they don't suck as bad as

710
00:34:53,640 --> 00:34:54,400
Speaker 1: some of those guys.

711
00:34:54,719 --> 00:34:57,640
Speaker 4: Well, it's it's funny because I would I would think

712
00:34:57,640 --> 00:35:01,440
Speaker 4: you would watch Kill Tony and be like, oh this, uh,

713
00:35:01,719 --> 00:35:03,960
Speaker 4: I never want to do this. This seems awful.

714
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:07,080
Speaker 1: Dude. I love that show Man, but it's people I

715
00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:09,920
Speaker 1: cam and like, you know, all the dudes that go

716
00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:11,799
Speaker 1: up there and just kill it, Like, dude, I love

717
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:12,239
Speaker 1: that shit.

718
00:35:13,719 --> 00:35:16,480
Speaker 4: I just well because I always uh, well, actually no, no,

719
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:18,640
Speaker 4: I I took what I just said back because there

720
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:24,680
Speaker 4: is something about watching somebody do stand up comedy that's

721
00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:27,399
Speaker 4: bad that makes you go, oh, I could do this shit.

722
00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:30,640
Speaker 2: So I see where you're coming from.

723
00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:32,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's crazy though, dude, even just when you picked

724
00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:35,240
Speaker 1: up the phone, it's it's weird how you get nervous

725
00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:37,520
Speaker 1: at times you really didn't think you'd get nervous, you know.

726
00:35:37,560 --> 00:35:39,640
Speaker 1: So I could see myself getting on stage and just

727
00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:41,920
Speaker 1: you know, maybe clam it up a little bit. I

728
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 1: definitely would have to power through that shit.

729
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:45,200
Speaker 2: But well, yeah you have to do I mean you

730
00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:45,560
Speaker 2: have to do it.

731
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:47,640
Speaker 4: You have to do it hundreds and hundreds and hundreds

732
00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:49,080
Speaker 4: and hundreds and hundreds of times.

733
00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:51,960
Speaker 1: That's right, dude. I just want to try. Man.

734
00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:52,319
Speaker 2: I don't know.

735
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:54,439
Speaker 1: I don't think it's it's not like a I don't

736
00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:56,480
Speaker 1: want to change my career or anything, you know, but

737
00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:58,080
Speaker 1: I think it'd be cool. Dude. I think it's a good,

738
00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:01,080
Speaker 1: you know, something to do.

739
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:07,800
Speaker 4: So you're so you're feeling like life is just getting

740
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:09,680
Speaker 4: too monotonous and you wanted to shake it up.

741
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:13,040
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, yeah, dude, I'm so. I've been with

742
00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:15,560
Speaker 1: my girl for nine years. Dude, I'm twenty seven. We

743
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:17,759
Speaker 1: got our we just bought our second house. We got

744
00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:21,080
Speaker 1: two dogs, Like, oh gosh, I'm really doing the family life,

745
00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:24,240
Speaker 1: you know. And I've worked construction for the past six years.

746
00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:25,719
Speaker 1: I just joined the union. I had to take a

747
00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:28,120
Speaker 1: little bit of a pay cut, but you know, in

748
00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:30,160
Speaker 1: four years or in three more years, I'll be making

749
00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:32,400
Speaker 1: you know, one hundred and twenty grand a year. Issue.

750
00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:36,440
Speaker 1: So pretty set. But man, dude, it's just day and

751
00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:38,279
Speaker 1: day out, and sometimes it's the same shit.

752
00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:40,640
Speaker 2: Uh oh. I have a few questions.

753
00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:43,120
Speaker 4: You bought a second house, like as in, you sold

754
00:36:43,120 --> 00:36:44,480
Speaker 4: your first house second one.

755
00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:48,239
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, we no, no, we told our first one

756
00:36:48,239 --> 00:36:48,920
Speaker 1: and got her second.

757
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:55,200
Speaker 2: Okay, you have two dogs. You have a wife, that's cool.

758
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:58,719
Speaker 1: Not a wife, she's a girlfriend. We're playing. I want

759
00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:00,680
Speaker 1: to become a journeyman to make little bit more money.

760
00:37:00,680 --> 00:37:03,600
Speaker 1: Before we decided we want to get married, not if

761
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:04,160
Speaker 1: we don't want.

762
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:08,479
Speaker 4: A girlfriend of nine years is basically a wife. Good point,

763
00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:12,319
Speaker 4: there's no there's nothing if you guys getting married. I

764
00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:15,120
Speaker 4: don't think we'll change really much in your relationship.

765
00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:15,480
Speaker 2: At this point.

766
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:20,160
Speaker 1: Very good point, but I went.

767
00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:21,720
Speaker 2: To, fuck, do I know I've never been married.

768
00:37:24,719 --> 00:37:28,400
Speaker 4: Huh, So I mean, what do you want to what

769
00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:32,320
Speaker 4: do you want to do with your with your life?

770
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:37,160
Speaker 1: Well, the first thing was stop drinking so fucking much. Dude.

771
00:37:37,320 --> 00:37:40,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, sure you had a little issue.

772
00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:43,640
Speaker 1: With that, But I mean, dude, really, what I want

773
00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:45,000
Speaker 1: to do with I want to figure out how to

774
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:48,560
Speaker 1: make videos of some kind that somebody would enjoy to

775
00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:50,960
Speaker 1: where I could maybe do something like you do, even

776
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:54,439
Speaker 1: if it's just on the side. I think that would

777
00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:58,800
Speaker 1: be really fucking cool. Dude. I don't know where to

778
00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:00,719
Speaker 1: start or how to get the ball, okay, actually do

779
00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:03,560
Speaker 1: anything like that. But dude, I really admire what you do.

780
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:06,680
Speaker 2: Well, you just you just you just do it. You

781
00:38:06,719 --> 00:38:07,200
Speaker 2: just do it.

782
00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:12,120
Speaker 4: I I know that there's like there's a lot to

783
00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:15,440
Speaker 4: be said behind like, oh, you know, can I can

784
00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:17,560
Speaker 4: I make a career out of doing this? Can I

785
00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:22,320
Speaker 4: like get some steamrolling from doing this? But at the

786
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:24,920
Speaker 4: end of the day, I keep saying at the end

787
00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:27,080
Speaker 4: of the day, that's my catchphrase apparently, But.

788
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:28,600
Speaker 2: I really think at the end of the day.

789
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:32,960
Speaker 4: It's like everything is just about the process of it, right,

790
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:38,080
Speaker 4: So what do you what process would you enjoy doing?

791
00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:41,680
Speaker 4: If you like writing jokes and getting on stage and

792
00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:44,960
Speaker 4: telling them, then just then just do it for the

793
00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:47,919
Speaker 4: love of the process itself and then you die.

794
00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:55,920
Speaker 2: That's it, Okay, you know what? Uh?

795
00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:56,400
Speaker 1: What?

796
00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:57,239
Speaker 2: What processes?

797
00:38:57,320 --> 00:38:57,480
Speaker 1: What?

798
00:38:57,480 --> 00:38:57,680
Speaker 2: What?

799
00:38:57,680 --> 00:38:57,759
Speaker 1: What?

800
00:38:57,840 --> 00:39:00,359
Speaker 2: That's a real question. What processes would you enjoy doing?

801
00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:04,520
Speaker 1: You know, I actually have a question for you. If

802
00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:07,200
Speaker 1: it was if everything changed tomorrow, man, if you had

803
00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:10,399
Speaker 1: to go back to doing anything other than what you're

804
00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:11,880
Speaker 1: doing now because it's not working anymore.

805
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:14,760
Speaker 4: Where would you start if I had to do anything

806
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:15,920
Speaker 4: other than what I was doing?

807
00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:20,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, just like for income, like to support yourself, Like

808
00:39:20,239 --> 00:39:22,799
Speaker 1: if you had to restart, like like the getro thing

809
00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:25,320
Speaker 1: was totally over, Like, where would you start? I'm just curious.

810
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:31,239
Speaker 4: Sure, Well, well, like if I I guess, if I

811
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:33,600
Speaker 4: was like twenty two.

812
00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:38,080
Speaker 1: I graduated from this, if this was tomorrow, if this

813
00:39:38,239 --> 00:39:41,319
Speaker 1: was tomorrow, Yeah, like you guys, the experience of doing

814
00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:43,479
Speaker 1: all this and like tomorrow it's just over. You gotta

815
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:44,279
Speaker 1: find somewhere else.

816
00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:47,280
Speaker 4: If I got to find something else to do, Honestly,

817
00:39:47,280 --> 00:39:50,880
Speaker 4: I'd probably like go The real answer is I would

818
00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:55,839
Speaker 4: probably go bohemian mode to be honest, what does it mean?

819
00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:57,920
Speaker 4: Like I would just I would go on like one

820
00:39:57,960 --> 00:40:02,160
Speaker 4: of those like workaway sites or whatever, and I would

821
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:06,759
Speaker 4: be like, uh, I would be like, let me go

822
00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:09,960
Speaker 4: to a work on a guy's farm in Italy and

823
00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:17,919
Speaker 4: he can in exchange for a bed. Yeah, I would,

824
00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:19,839
Speaker 4: I think if I that's what I would do if

825
00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:22,239
Speaker 4: I had no money and I and I had no

826
00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:26,200
Speaker 4: thing to make money, I would just be like, well,

827
00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:28,080
Speaker 4: I would probably honestly would probably do is I'd probably

828
00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:29,600
Speaker 4: like like if I, like, if I had to start

829
00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:31,560
Speaker 4: over and I had no money, I would probably like

830
00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:34,920
Speaker 4: go work at a bar or a restaurant or something

831
00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:37,960
Speaker 4: and like try to save up a little bit to

832
00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:41,120
Speaker 4: like go do that kind of workaway shit or like

833
00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:44,320
Speaker 4: work at a hostel or any kind of like job

834
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:46,800
Speaker 4: where I could travel and meet people and stuff.

835
00:40:47,200 --> 00:40:49,880
Speaker 1: So, so you said something really intriguing. So your first

836
00:40:49,920 --> 00:40:52,680
Speaker 1: answer wouldn't be to do something on the internet. So

837
00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:54,480
Speaker 1: you do you do you really feel like this was

838
00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:58,279
Speaker 1: a stroke of luck or do you think that where

839
00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:00,759
Speaker 1: Why wouldn't it be to go back on the internet?

840
00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:03,799
Speaker 4: Think about the internet, because the Internet is not where

841
00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:05,279
Speaker 4: life happens.

842
00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:07,200
Speaker 1: Well, that's where you make your money.

843
00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:12,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah it. I got very lucky that the

844
00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:14,600
Speaker 4: Internet is now where it's totally. It was a struggle luck.

845
00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:18,480
Speaker 4: I got very lucky that the Internet became where I

846
00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:25,080
Speaker 4: make where I make money. But I mean, I mean personally,

847
00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:27,440
Speaker 4: my my, I enjoy life the most. When I mean

848
00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:32,000
Speaker 4: I'm enjoying, I'm enjoying talking to you right now, you know,

849
00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:32,840
Speaker 4: because we're on.

850
00:41:32,719 --> 00:41:37,600
Speaker 2: The the phone, which I guess is less being on

851
00:41:37,640 --> 00:41:42,160
Speaker 2: the internet. But like, I mean, knowing what I know, now,

852
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:44,560
Speaker 2: that's what I would do.

853
00:41:46,080 --> 00:41:48,600
Speaker 1: Okay, that's a very interesting answer. I didn't expect that.

854
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:52,279
Speaker 2: What did you expect me to say, some.

855
00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:55,200
Speaker 1: Type of Internet game? I mean, like, look at like

856
00:41:55,239 --> 00:41:57,480
Speaker 1: somebody like Steeple will do it. He got kicked off YouTube.

857
00:41:57,800 --> 00:41:59,680
Speaker 1: You know, his first thing is to find any other

858
00:41:59,719 --> 00:42:02,439
Speaker 1: internet that sort of you know, revenue. Once you come

859
00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:04,560
Speaker 1: from that kind of life, even though that might not

860
00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:06,719
Speaker 1: be where you're living. I would just see it as

861
00:42:06,719 --> 00:42:10,399
Speaker 1: being hard to transition back to any type of ninety five.

862
00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:13,120
Speaker 4: Uh No, I don't think. I don't think I would

863
00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:15,000
Speaker 4: do it nine to five. I think I would do like.

864
00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:17,880
Speaker 1: Well, even just anywhere you have to wake up and

865
00:42:17,880 --> 00:42:21,239
Speaker 1: do physical labor compared to what you're doing currently, because

866
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:23,120
Speaker 1: like I mean, I'm a carboner. He's like, I'm used

867
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:25,160
Speaker 1: physical labor and shit. But after I didn't do it

868
00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:26,800
Speaker 1: for a couple years, I sure fuck wouldn't want to

869
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:27,359
Speaker 1: come back to it.

870
00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:32,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I don't know. I mean, life also just

871
00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:35,320
Speaker 2: kind of hit. You know, you can fantasize about whatever,

872
00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:38,080
Speaker 2: and then you know, maybe maybe when I shot up

873
00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:40,080
Speaker 2: at that farm in Italy, I'll be like, oh wait,

874
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:41,880
Speaker 2: this fucking sucks.

875
00:42:42,280 --> 00:42:44,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, hold on, Can I ask you some awful all shit?

876
00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:47,640
Speaker 1: What do you think about Adam twenty two? What?

877
00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:50,239
Speaker 4: I I don't think anything about Adam twenty two. I

878
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:52,840
Speaker 4: merely know that he's a guy with a podcast.

879
00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:55,680
Speaker 1: Dude, would you ever like switch it up and do

880
00:42:55,760 --> 00:42:59,279
Speaker 1: some like freaky gecko shit, because that would also be

881
00:42:59,320 --> 00:43:02,840
Speaker 1: another with the avenue you could go to?

882
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:06,240
Speaker 2: What is? I don't what?

883
00:43:06,239 --> 00:43:11,000
Speaker 1: What do you dude think about? You got some crazy listeners, Dude,

884
00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:13,239
Speaker 1: I guarantee you to get five of them to dress

885
00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:16,680
Speaker 1: up as geckos and just have orgies and you can

886
00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:19,160
Speaker 1: stream it and you could capitalize off them.

887
00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:24,719
Speaker 4: Jesus man, I don't. I don't know what to say

888
00:43:24,719 --> 00:43:27,839
Speaker 4: about that. That's uh, I appreciate.

889
00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:31,040
Speaker 2: Here's here's what I'm gonna say. Here's what I'm gonna say.

890
00:43:32,600 --> 00:43:36,960
Speaker 4: I I am very flattered that you think that people

891
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:38,600
Speaker 4: would want to see that.

892
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:39,600
Speaker 2: That's what I'll say to that.

893
00:43:39,800 --> 00:43:42,799
Speaker 1: I don't know that I would purchase, but I guarantee

894
00:43:42,800 --> 00:43:44,560
Speaker 1: you to have a I'm very.

895
00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:47,239
Speaker 4: I'm very flattered that you think that people would would

896
00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:48,279
Speaker 4: pay money to watch that.

897
00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:51,840
Speaker 1: Dude, what if you didn't even have to be in it?

898
00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:53,480
Speaker 1: You could just host these things.

899
00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:57,960
Speaker 4: So you're saying if I I could just like I

900
00:43:58,320 --> 00:44:00,960
Speaker 4: like you're saying that I have, I could have a

901
00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:03,879
Speaker 4: second career in making pornography.

902
00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:08,400
Speaker 1: Dude, you totally good.

903
00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:13,240
Speaker 4: Actually, I think I've told this story before, but I'll

904
00:44:13,280 --> 00:44:15,480
Speaker 4: tell it again. I was at I was at a

905
00:44:15,600 --> 00:44:21,960
Speaker 4: v N which is like the porn convention, and I

906
00:44:22,120 --> 00:44:25,279
Speaker 4: was like talking to this like, uh, I made a friend.

907
00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:27,759
Speaker 4: He's he's a porn star. He's a nice guy. And

908
00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:31,000
Speaker 4: we were talking and I made a joke to him

909
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:34,000
Speaker 4: about like starting an OnlyFans. I was like, oh, maybe

910
00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:36,600
Speaker 4: I'll do a Gecko OnlyFans And he looked at me

911
00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:39,319
Speaker 4: like very like he didn't take it as a joke,

912
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:41,759
Speaker 4: because that's I realized I made a joke about what

913
00:44:41,800 --> 00:44:44,520
Speaker 4: he actually does. And he looked at me and he

914
00:44:44,719 --> 00:44:46,799
Speaker 4: very seriously said, oh, yeah, you can make a lot

915
00:44:46,800 --> 00:44:47,400
Speaker 4: of money doing that.

916
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:50,120
Speaker 1: And I was like, I'm not the only one I

917
00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:51,239
Speaker 1: think so, Dude, I don't.

918
00:44:51,320 --> 00:44:53,920
Speaker 2: I don't think that. I don't think that that's what

919
00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:58,640
Speaker 2: I'm gonna do. But uh, I don't know, dude.

920
00:44:58,680 --> 00:45:01,000
Speaker 1: What about what about god Kid? You guys still cool?

921
00:45:01,040 --> 00:45:02,839
Speaker 1: I really liked that episode you guys did. I thought

922
00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:05,640
Speaker 1: that was out of a lot of your episodes. It

923
00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:07,360
Speaker 1: was really good, dude, I didn't expect it to be.

924
00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:11,120
Speaker 2: Uh doj Cat's a good don't you guys? Very cool?

925
00:45:11,200 --> 00:45:14,520
Speaker 1: I'm a fan, dude, Dude, get her to take you

926
00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:15,200
Speaker 1: on stage.

927
00:45:16,680 --> 00:45:19,440
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know if. I don't know

928
00:45:19,480 --> 00:45:21,279
Speaker 2: if it works like that necessarily.

929
00:45:21,360 --> 00:45:24,160
Speaker 4: But dude, wait, hold on by the way, by the way,

930
00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:25,880
Speaker 4: by the way, by the way. I feel like we

931
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:28,600
Speaker 4: got off track here because you had to. You wanted

932
00:45:28,640 --> 00:45:32,480
Speaker 4: to talk about yourself, and you got you flattered me

933
00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:35,400
Speaker 4: and I've been talking about myself, which is just I

934
00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:37,560
Speaker 4: understand why people want to call in to talk about

935
00:45:37,560 --> 00:45:39,160
Speaker 4: themselves on this show. It feels good.

936
00:45:41,320 --> 00:45:43,920
Speaker 1: But uh, I mean, dude, I kind of just like

937
00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:45,719
Speaker 1: taking your brain a little bit. Dude. I like seeing

938
00:45:45,760 --> 00:45:46,720
Speaker 1: what you think about things.

939
00:45:47,760 --> 00:45:47,960
Speaker 2: Yeah.

940
00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:49,920
Speaker 4: Maybe you know, maybe in another life I could have

941
00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:54,640
Speaker 4: been a porn star. Maybe maybe why not? I don't know,

942
00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:55,560
Speaker 4: why not? Why not?

943
00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:59,239
Speaker 1: Why not? Dude? You never know what ten years is

944
00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:01,200
Speaker 1: down the road? Me, don't ever say it never.

945
00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:06,680
Speaker 2: That's cool. I mean, I don't know, dude.

946
00:46:06,880 --> 00:46:09,719
Speaker 4: I like the idea. I'll say this, I'll say this too.

947
00:46:09,880 --> 00:46:11,319
Speaker 4: I'll say this to you. I'll say this to you.

948
00:46:11,680 --> 00:46:16,320
Speaker 4: I like the idea of being comfortable and confident about

949
00:46:16,320 --> 00:46:19,319
Speaker 4: my body. That's why I make those little uh that's

950
00:46:19,320 --> 00:46:23,120
Speaker 4: why I'll post pictures of myself on my Instagram in

951
00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:27,160
Speaker 4: a speedo. There's something there. There's there is something I

952
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:31,239
Speaker 4: think freeing that feels good about, like being out there

953
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:35,080
Speaker 4: in that sense and not really not caring what other

954
00:46:35,120 --> 00:46:36,360
Speaker 4: people think of your body.

955
00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:38,200
Speaker 2: I think that's a freeing thing.

956
00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:41,520
Speaker 1: Speaking of man, how you've been doing the gym, buddy?

957
00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:47,080
Speaker 2: Uh? Oh, well, I've been on tour, so I've been

958
00:46:47,120 --> 00:46:48,640
Speaker 2: eating candy.

959
00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:52,560
Speaker 1: Oh, I'll ship, dude, candy is a ship. But as

960
00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:54,640
Speaker 1: long as you're going to the gym and being active. Dude,

961
00:46:54,680 --> 00:46:57,600
Speaker 1: you got that man like who cares? I think I

962
00:46:57,640 --> 00:46:59,880
Speaker 1: think it would be really positive for you if you

963
00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:01,560
Speaker 1: they actually make it there once today. That's one of

964
00:47:01,560 --> 00:47:03,520
Speaker 1: the one things that kind of provides a little bit

965
00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:05,359
Speaker 1: of rigidity in my life and alps me not want

966
00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:07,920
Speaker 1: to drink so much. Are you When I leave? I

967
00:47:07,960 --> 00:47:08,719
Speaker 1: feel so good?

968
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:10,960
Speaker 2: Dude, are you in AA? Do you do AA?

969
00:47:12,040 --> 00:47:12,120
Speaker 3: No?

970
00:47:12,360 --> 00:47:15,640
Speaker 1: I don't necessarily. I think that I drink for more

971
00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:18,160
Speaker 1: deep rooted issues. So that's why I started therapy. I

972
00:47:18,160 --> 00:47:21,960
Speaker 1: think group sessions isn't necessarily what I'm looking for. So

973
00:47:22,080 --> 00:47:25,120
Speaker 1: when I was younger, I actually had to attend like

974
00:47:25,280 --> 00:47:28,000
Speaker 1: NA and AA meetings because I got caught with pot

975
00:47:28,239 --> 00:47:31,080
Speaker 1: high school and out of some weird restriction. That's what

976
00:47:31,120 --> 00:47:34,600
Speaker 1: they maybe do. And I never felt necessarily comfortable around

977
00:47:34,760 --> 00:47:37,279
Speaker 1: a lot of people twice my age dealing with more

978
00:47:37,600 --> 00:47:40,240
Speaker 1: significant problems on my own. I feel like it's almost

979
00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:43,680
Speaker 1: made me look down on my own problems. So more

980
00:47:43,680 --> 00:47:46,920
Speaker 1: individualized approach is a little bit better for me.

981
00:47:47,640 --> 00:47:55,560
Speaker 2: Yeah.

982
00:47:55,640 --> 00:47:58,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, I've been to a couple of those kinds of

983
00:47:58,600 --> 00:48:02,800
Speaker 4: meetings before. They're it's kind of nice. It's kind of

984
00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:05,680
Speaker 4: nice to be like, oh, there's other people who have the.

985
00:48:05,640 --> 00:48:07,080
Speaker 2: Same problem that I do.

986
00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:13,000
Speaker 4: I'm not an alcoholic. I've never been a big alcohol man,

987
00:48:17,040 --> 00:48:19,080
Speaker 4: but but.

988
00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:20,960
Speaker 2: I get it. Like I said, it puts you in

989
00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:21,480
Speaker 2: the present.

990
00:48:22,280 --> 00:48:24,919
Speaker 4: When I'm on tour after the show, if I'm hanging

991
00:48:24,960 --> 00:48:27,640
Speaker 4: out with folks, I'll have a couple of beers or

992
00:48:27,680 --> 00:48:30,920
Speaker 4: something like that, and it's, uh, it's nice.

993
00:48:30,920 --> 00:48:32,839
Speaker 2: It's nice. It puts you in the present. It makes

994
00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:34,280
Speaker 2: it way easier to talk to people.

995
00:48:34,320 --> 00:48:38,440
Speaker 4: Sometimes I get exhausted, especially if it's like, I mean,

996
00:48:38,480 --> 00:48:40,640
Speaker 4: I'm fine talking to you right now, but it's like

997
00:48:40,640 --> 00:48:44,160
Speaker 4: if I'm one on one talking to somebody.

998
00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:46,480
Speaker 2: I'll get so exhausted.

999
00:48:47,440 --> 00:48:51,120
Speaker 4: Like I hate I can't like like if I meet

1000
00:48:51,200 --> 00:48:55,239
Speaker 4: up with somebody and it's just me and them, I

1001
00:48:55,280 --> 00:48:56,240
Speaker 4: get kind of tired.

1002
00:48:57,520 --> 00:48:58,640
Speaker 2: My favorite I love.

1003
00:48:58,719 --> 00:49:01,000
Speaker 4: I love when it's like when I'm like in a

1004
00:49:01,040 --> 00:49:05,200
Speaker 4: group of like two or three other people and like

1005
00:49:05,280 --> 00:49:08,200
Speaker 4: you can stop, I can stop talking and let the

1006
00:49:08,239 --> 00:49:09,640
Speaker 4: other two people talk for a while.

1007
00:49:09,640 --> 00:49:10,600
Speaker 2: It's that's awesome.

1008
00:49:11,080 --> 00:49:16,160
Speaker 4: There's nothing fucking better on the planet Earth than being

1009
00:49:16,280 --> 00:49:20,880
Speaker 4: like a little buzzed and standing around in a group

1010
00:49:21,080 --> 00:49:23,879
Speaker 4: of other in a group of other people that you're

1011
00:49:23,920 --> 00:49:26,560
Speaker 4: a part of while they all talk, and you can

1012
00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:29,320
Speaker 4: just kind of beat and you're out and you're around

1013
00:49:29,360 --> 00:49:31,720
Speaker 4: other people, but you don't have to do anything.

1014
00:49:32,080 --> 00:49:33,120
Speaker 2: It's the best.

1015
00:49:34,640 --> 00:49:37,920
Speaker 1: I've been like that only, dude. That's like when you

1016
00:49:37,960 --> 00:49:39,839
Speaker 1: say a couple of edibles. Dude, that's the only thing

1017
00:49:39,840 --> 00:49:41,160
Speaker 1: that does it to me. I don't want to talk

1018
00:49:41,160 --> 00:49:42,880
Speaker 1: to anybody. I just want to sit and listen.

1019
00:49:48,320 --> 00:49:53,040
Speaker 4: Well, well, shit, well, uh, I got one more question,

1020
00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:54,720
Speaker 4: all right, hit.

1021
00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:56,520
Speaker 2: Me with your one more questions, sir. It's been a

1022
00:49:56,600 --> 00:49:57,280
Speaker 2: nice conversation.

1023
00:49:58,920 --> 00:50:00,399
Speaker 1: You ever been in trouble the law?

1024
00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:04,160
Speaker 2: Have I ever been in trouble with the law?

1025
00:50:05,239 --> 00:50:06,839
Speaker 1: I hope you got a good one for me, dude.

1026
00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:10,759
Speaker 1: If not, I got one for you, I'm sure you do.

1027
00:50:13,040 --> 00:50:13,120
Speaker 4: So.

1028
00:50:13,200 --> 00:50:18,560
Speaker 2: I have ever been in trouble with the law? Uh?

1029
00:50:19,239 --> 00:50:21,880
Speaker 2: Have I ever been in trouble? I've ever been like

1030
00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:22,400
Speaker 2: a writin.

1031
00:50:25,560 --> 00:50:31,480
Speaker 4: No, I have never been arrested or like I mean,

1032
00:50:31,480 --> 00:50:34,319
Speaker 4: I got my ra caught me smoking weed in my

1033
00:50:34,400 --> 00:50:35,520
Speaker 4: dorm room in college.

1034
00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:40,879
Speaker 2: That's probably Uh, that's really it, all.

1035
00:50:40,840 --> 00:50:42,440
Speaker 1: Right, dude. Well let me leave you with this one,

1036
00:50:42,440 --> 00:50:45,320
Speaker 1: all right. So it was the first time me and

1037
00:50:45,360 --> 00:50:48,240
Speaker 1: a group of guys like, dude, all my closest friends.

1038
00:50:48,239 --> 00:50:50,120
Speaker 1: When we were like eighteen years old, we all got

1039
00:50:50,160 --> 00:50:52,040
Speaker 1: acid for the first time, right, And I don't know

1040
00:50:52,040 --> 00:50:54,040
Speaker 1: if you take an acid, but there's a difference between

1041
00:50:54,120 --> 00:50:56,840
Speaker 1: acid and research chemicals. I didn't know. Acid wasn't supposed

1042
00:50:56,840 --> 00:50:58,799
Speaker 1: to taste like anything. So if you ever take a

1043
00:50:58,840 --> 00:51:03,120
Speaker 1: tab of acid, tells like irritates like metal, spin it out, dude.

1044
00:51:03,160 --> 00:51:05,440
Speaker 1: It's not worth it. Man, you don't have a violent trip, Dude,

1045
00:51:05,520 --> 00:51:07,960
Speaker 1: it's gonna be real rough. So we all popped these

1046
00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:11,239
Speaker 1: tabs right about an hour goes by. Everybody's feeling it

1047
00:51:11,239 --> 00:51:13,799
Speaker 1: and everybody's having a good time. All of a sudden, dude,

1048
00:51:13,840 --> 00:51:15,920
Speaker 1: one of my guys turns the lights out and starts

1049
00:51:16,040 --> 00:51:19,160
Speaker 1: yelling at everybody. There's cops there, right, and so we

1050
00:51:19,200 --> 00:51:21,359
Speaker 1: all duck down. We're all hiding or whatever, and all

1051
00:51:21,360 --> 00:51:23,600
Speaker 1: of a sudden, we see two cops run past the window,

1052
00:51:23,840 --> 00:51:26,479
Speaker 1: and so my buddy, he's tripping out, Dude, he's thinking

1053
00:51:26,480 --> 00:51:28,560
Speaker 1: that we're all about to go to jail. Everybody's fucking

1054
00:51:28,640 --> 00:51:31,239
Speaker 1: like having a bad trip, and it was terrible, right,

1055
00:51:31,400 --> 00:51:34,960
Speaker 1: So this is what actually happened, dude, So about like

1056
00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:37,440
Speaker 1: thirty minutes after we took the tabs, this dude got

1057
00:51:37,480 --> 00:51:40,160
Speaker 1: pulled over directly in front of my guy's house, some

1058
00:51:40,480 --> 00:51:43,239
Speaker 1: random dude that nobody knew. And this dude ended up

1059
00:51:43,280 --> 00:51:45,239
Speaker 1: fucking taking off and running from the cops. So the

1060
00:51:45,239 --> 00:51:47,680
Speaker 1: cops ran right past the garage and we're all sitting

1061
00:51:47,719 --> 00:51:49,960
Speaker 1: there hiding from him for like an hour, and all

1062
00:51:49,960 --> 00:51:52,800
Speaker 1: they did was run past. Nobody ended up getting arrested

1063
00:51:52,840 --> 00:51:55,919
Speaker 1: and nothing happened. Man, dude, though the crazy first trip.

1064
00:51:55,960 --> 00:51:57,560
Speaker 1: If I wasn't all nervous right now, I probably would

1065
00:51:57,560 --> 00:51:59,000
Speaker 1: have told the story about her. But man, that was

1066
00:51:59,000 --> 00:51:59,640
Speaker 1: a good one.

1067
00:52:00,760 --> 00:52:06,720
Speaker 2: Well, uh, what's your name again? Man, I'm Chris, Chris Chris.

1068
00:52:06,719 --> 00:52:07,920
Speaker 2: This is a nice conversation.

1069
00:52:08,920 --> 00:52:09,040
Speaker 4: This.

1070
00:52:09,280 --> 00:52:11,720
Speaker 2: I feel calm. I feel calm. I feel comfortable talking

1071
00:52:11,760 --> 00:52:17,680
Speaker 2: to you. For whatever reason, you seem you're a cool guy.

1072
00:52:18,400 --> 00:52:20,800
Speaker 1: Thanks, dude, I appreciate that. Man. Hopefully I'll get to

1073
00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:22,360
Speaker 1: come to one of your shows and beat you in person. Man,

1074
00:52:22,360 --> 00:52:25,120
Speaker 1: I would definitely have a beer with you some storyully.

1075
00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:27,600
Speaker 2: Well, hopefully hopefully we don't have a beer together.

1076
00:52:27,640 --> 00:52:30,200
Speaker 4: Hopefully we hopefully you know what I'd love, I'd loved

1077
00:52:30,239 --> 00:52:32,920
Speaker 4: I'd love maybe one day we can share a diet coke.

1078
00:52:33,280 --> 00:52:34,120
Speaker 2: That sounds nice.

1079
00:52:35,239 --> 00:52:37,520
Speaker 1: That sounds nice. You're right, what city?

1080
00:52:37,560 --> 00:52:38,359
Speaker 2: What city are you in?

1081
00:52:39,520 --> 00:52:41,640
Speaker 1: I'm an Illinois man. I'm like great out Chicago.

1082
00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:44,160
Speaker 4: Oh okay, all right, hopefully I'll come back to Chicago

1083
00:52:44,200 --> 00:52:47,120
Speaker 4: at some point. I had some good times there. Chris,

1084
00:52:47,120 --> 00:52:48,719
Speaker 4: it is nice talking to you brothers. There anything else

1085
00:52:48,719 --> 00:52:50,240
Speaker 4: you want to say to the people of the computer

1086
00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:52,400
Speaker 4: before we go, No.

1087
00:52:52,600 --> 00:52:54,640
Speaker 1: Man, Just dude, I had to call like a hundred times,

1088
00:52:54,640 --> 00:52:56,920
Speaker 1: so if you're calling a hundred times that it might

1089
00:52:56,960 --> 00:53:02,000
Speaker 1: work once. Take care, mister Chris, Ety buddy.

1090
00:53:04,600 --> 00:53:07,920
Speaker 2: That was Chris. That was Chris.

1091
00:53:08,880 --> 00:53:12,480
Speaker 4: I've decided in this show, I kind of I've been

1092
00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:16,239
Speaker 4: thinking a lot about this podcast. This podcast, it's mainly like, uh,

1093
00:53:17,200 --> 00:53:19,879
Speaker 4: it's mainly other people talking, which is nice. But I've

1094
00:53:19,880 --> 00:53:22,080
Speaker 4: decided I also I want to talk a little bit more.

1095
00:53:22,600 --> 00:53:28,719
Speaker 4: So that's why sometimes I talk over people, so which

1096
00:53:28,719 --> 00:53:32,520
Speaker 4: I guess I shouldn't do. But I'm trying to be

1097
00:53:32,560 --> 00:53:38,800
Speaker 4: more confident, trying to express myself. I'm trying to speak

1098
00:53:39,040 --> 00:53:44,240
Speaker 4: more and not be so anxious about things. I'm trying

1099
00:53:44,239 --> 00:53:47,360
Speaker 4: to share things about my life. It feels good, it

1100
00:53:47,360 --> 00:53:55,080
Speaker 4: feels good to talk and ramble, and I don't. I'm

1101
00:53:55,120 --> 00:54:01,360
Speaker 4: not as concerned about I'm trying to be less concerned

1102
00:54:02,719 --> 00:54:07,640
Speaker 4: about rambling uh or repeating myself.

1103
00:54:09,200 --> 00:54:10,959
Speaker 2: But I also I think I would. I don't.

1104
00:54:11,080 --> 00:54:13,200
Speaker 4: I don't like the idea that the pocket. It's like

1105
00:54:13,440 --> 00:54:17,000
Speaker 4: I want a little balance, you know. I don't want

1106
00:54:17,040 --> 00:54:20,439
Speaker 4: it to be just me and my thoughts because I'll

1107
00:54:20,480 --> 00:54:25,640
Speaker 4: get sick of myself almost immediately, But so I'll sprinkle.

1108
00:54:25,280 --> 00:54:27,759
Speaker 2: Them in here and there, like I'm doing right now.

1109
00:54:28,360 --> 00:54:32,440
Speaker 3: Never goes on the line taking your phone calls every night,

1110
00:54:32,840 --> 00:54:35,600
Speaker 3: never goes to his side's.

1111
00:54:35,080 --> 00:54:37,799
Speaker 2: Teaching you aloud in them of your life. But he's

1112
00:54:37,880 --> 00:54:39,560
Speaker 2: not really an expert.