Speaker 1: And were you drinking, by the way, still are sparkling?
Speaker 1: I was drinking still I can't get a smart work.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, see even you, even you in your private moments,
Speaker 1: you go still, You're like, call them all those bubbles down. Hey, everybody,
Speaker 1: welcome to hold up. It's a big show about little
Speaker 1: things that really aren't anything. I am one of your
Speaker 1: co hosts. My name is Josh Shaunson. I'm a writer
Speaker 1: for The Daily Show and I am joined by those
Speaker 1: days line. I am a correspondent on a daily show.
Speaker 1: I'm also a stand up comedian like Josh, I also
Speaker 1: have a crafter. I like what line locks on the
Speaker 1: beach and uh, like I said before, beating them all
Speaker 1: with you daddy? So m somebody daddy, because that's who's
Speaker 1: been talking to me recently. Its father's Yeah, if you've
Speaker 1: been binge listening. In the Mall with your Daddy is
Speaker 1: a real theme, probably one of the strongest themes of
Speaker 1: this show. We've held on to in the Mall with
Speaker 1: Your Daddy longer than anything, Longer than I've been doing
Speaker 1: a Manisphere content, longer than I've been grinding. In the
Speaker 1: Mall with your Daddy has been consistently in every episode
Speaker 1: for quite a while. And yeah, it's a true movement,
Speaker 1: you know, um, you know, you never know what you're
Speaker 1: gonna be called upon. Yeah, because malls are dying and
Speaker 1: dads don't get enough love, and so to mix the
Speaker 1: both of them together, to really say screw Amazon moms
Speaker 1: and let's go full mall daddy. Wow, incredible. I applaud
Speaker 1: the work you do. We're gonna start the episode because
Speaker 1: I mean, it's actually it's already started. It's already turning up.
Speaker 1: It's already turning up, and you know what we need
Speaker 1: because I don't know about you. I think you might.
Speaker 1: You might be at home right now. But from where
Speaker 1: I am recording, it is hot, all right. It is hot,
Speaker 1: like a place that I hope to never see. It
Speaker 1: is hot. It is. It is. It is sweltering. You're
Speaker 1: warming that podcast and the lights don't help, all right,
Speaker 1: it is. I am, Yes, I'm burned up. But it
Speaker 1: brings me to today's time. Y'all send my brothers some water?
Speaker 1: Can you send them a cool beverar rush today? And
Speaker 1: I want you the listener to think about who ended
Speaker 1: up on which side? All right? Because today before we
Speaker 1: tell you. We're gonna let you know right now, it's
Speaker 1: still versus sparkling water. Listen. What I challenge us today
Speaker 1: is we can both see both sides of this corn right,
Speaker 1: both sides of this coin. But I think the listeners
Speaker 1: are gonna think, oh, well, josh is going still and
Speaker 1: don't say it's going sparkling right, m You don't want
Speaker 1: them to play the music, you know what? Play the
Speaker 1: music all right? Listen, Joshua, tell the people where you staying?
Speaker 1: You were right? I am still okay. We knew, we knew,
Speaker 1: we knew. But I want to say that the reason
Speaker 1: that I chose sparkling, and I think the reason that
Speaker 1: Sparkling is getting the shine that it's getting, it's because
Speaker 1: everyone's trying to drink less sodas. I was never a
Speaker 1: big Solda persona um because they were always too sweet
Speaker 1: for me, which I know people looking at me aren't
Speaker 1: gonna believe. But guess what. Most of the time obesity
Speaker 1: is genetic, your bitch. So I can say that a
Speaker 1: lot of time it was too sweet for me, but
Speaker 1: I really do enjoy. Also, we have to remember when
Speaker 1: it comes to the sparkling water one, I think it's
Speaker 1: an interesting term. Yes, yes it is. Why don't we
Speaker 1: just say bubble water? Because bubble water sounds like you're
Speaker 1: drinking plastic. The name bubble water just doesn't roll off
Speaker 1: the tongue like sparkling. Like if if you went to
Speaker 1: a nice restaurant they walk up to your hands behind
Speaker 1: their backs, you know, the way that they lean over
Speaker 1: the table, like can we interest you in some still
Speaker 1: or bubble water? You'd be like, the second one doesn't
Speaker 1: sound real, so I'm gonna take the still, Okay. I
Speaker 1: was wondering where they pick sparkling because it does seem
Speaker 1: like a very high end thing. I think that my
Speaker 1: my thing with sparkling, why why I don't really drink
Speaker 1: it and why I pick still over it is that
Speaker 1: the best waters that I've ever had have all been still.
Speaker 1: I think that when it's still, you pay attention to
Speaker 1: the taste more because you know, sparkling is it is
Speaker 1: a taste in a sense, you know, well, yeah, because
Speaker 1: you have like but the thing is like there's the
Speaker 1: difference between like you've got a seltzer m and then
Speaker 1: you've got like club soda and seltzer. That's that's a
Speaker 1: lot of Seltzer is truly just drinking bubbles. Yes, but
Speaker 1: there's no water in here. You've seen the person that
Speaker 1: was like, uh, sparkling water is just spicy water. Yes,
Speaker 1: somebody thinks it's like McDonald's sprite is spicy m And
Speaker 1: then somebody said a hotel air conditioning is the ac
Speaker 1: version of McDonald's sprite. I was like, yes, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I accurate. Little little dirty gets the job done, right.
Speaker 1: But the bubbles, like the bubbles and club soda. Clubs
Speaker 1: soda is giving you accompaniment. Club soda is giving you
Speaker 1: exact you know, an accentuating an adjective to your beverage. Right, okay,
Speaker 1: in the words of Black Forage or the beverage electrics.
Speaker 1: We love her. Who knew that I could eat magnolias? Um?
Speaker 1: I very much enjoy water. I always we all need
Speaker 1: drink more water. Um. But sometimes you just want to
Speaker 1: have a little adventure, so sometimes you would infuse your water.
Speaker 1: I love and infuse water spa water. Um. Oh did
Speaker 1: you think you see the thing? I think it was
Speaker 1: like over the summer where it was like, I guess
Speaker 1: this white woman had never heard of like agua fesca before.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, And they were calling at spa water. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: is it all of like and then like Latino TikTok
Speaker 1: or Latin x TikTok or Latin TikTok uh was taking
Speaker 1: like white people things m hm and like they um
Speaker 1: and it's just like uh, I was like, oh a
Speaker 1: hot dog, was like oh look at this, like look
Speaker 1: at this fun taco, this fun taco. Yeah, it's fun tacos,
Speaker 1: or like a burger was like a torta, or they
Speaker 1: would take all this like white people shit. It'd be like, yeah,
Speaker 1: we're just gonna the same way you're lat You tried
Speaker 1: to like steal Oh you took water and put fruit
Speaker 1: in here, like it's like somebody's like no, bitch. Like
Speaker 1: the girl did the whole recipe for like I think
Speaker 1: it was like fresago fresca and she was like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's like strawberry spar water and everyone was like no, no,
Speaker 1: it's not. Yeah, it's it's agrafsca. You boy. It's just
Speaker 1: so not. It's so not. And so sometimes you just
Speaker 1: want a little divergence, you want a little fun thing.
Speaker 1: You want to throw some fruit in some water. So
Speaker 1: I get it. But also have you heard this that
Speaker 1: sparkling water doesn't hydrate you. Yeah, I was just about
Speaker 1: to get to that. That's that's why I picked the still.
Speaker 1: I don't understand that this is my thing. Mmm. Okay,
Speaker 1: first of all, you know, we're just gonna get to
Speaker 1: that moment a little bit earlier than usual. Okay, we're
Speaker 1: just gonna go ahead and hit it up early, all right,
Speaker 1: all right for my men Jesus, all right, for my
Speaker 1: men out here fighting on the grind. Okay, you need
Speaker 1: to be hydrated. Okay, you don't need this sparkling, bubbly water.
Speaker 1: You don't need to be burping boogie all right. You
Speaker 1: need to be hydrated with the elixir of life, with
Speaker 1: with with the body of the earth into your body
Speaker 1: so you can sweat, so you can have water that
Speaker 1: comes out of you that you're drinking. Right, it's a
Speaker 1: version of that, because you can sweat out the toxins. Okay,
Speaker 1: you can't do that off sparkling water. You can't do that.
Speaker 1: If you try to work out and have sparkling water,
Speaker 1: I bet you pass out or I bet you pass out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you, du said, do you really want
Speaker 1: to be out here trying to grind? Trying to get
Speaker 1: the man shoulders with bubbles coming out of your body.
Speaker 1: All right, you can't grind with bubbles. Bubbles too soft? Okay,
Speaker 1: did you imagine them? See when you out here bench
Speaker 1: pressing and you're you're putting in so much work that
Speaker 1: you're sweating, that you're that you're just shooting water out
Speaker 1: of your pores. You don't want bubbles in your pores.
Speaker 1: It'll kill you, believe me. Believe me, If you get
Speaker 1: bubbles in your pores, you're gonna die. All right. Carbonated
Speaker 1: water is because carbon dioxide. Right. I wonder what would
Speaker 1: happen if you put another gas in the water, Like,
Speaker 1: can't you put another thing in it? Like we put
Speaker 1: like a bunch of Can't you put a bunch of
Speaker 1: oxygen in the water? Can you oxygenated water? You get oygenate?
Speaker 1: Can't You're asking the wrong person. You also have a
Speaker 1: theater degree. Okay, yeah, yeah, I'm just here because I
Speaker 1: think still is the best nutritional you know, Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you get you get your minerals in all right. Okay,
Speaker 1: they add minerals to the water, Okay. Oxygenated water is
Speaker 1: a relatively new functional water product that has oction added
Speaker 1: to in the canting process or bowling process. The added
Speaker 1: oxygen has claim to provide health benefits, including aiding exercise recovery,
Speaker 1: flushing out toxins toxins, and improving alcohol matibalism. Josh, are
Speaker 1: we about to get the oxygenated water game? I think
Speaker 1: if we get into oxygenated water and I'm already drinking
Speaker 1: green tea and I'm already eating dark chocolate, I think
Speaker 1: I might be the healthiest man that's ever lived, all right,
Speaker 1: I think I might actually be so healthy I start floating.
Speaker 1: That's what I want. Some people want to get big
Speaker 1: and strong and look all Morris chestnutty. I'm just trying
Speaker 1: to float. I'm so healthy. I'm not making that man.
Speaker 1: No more. We're not We're not printing this nigg out
Speaker 1: no more. I don't know what. I don't know what happened.
Speaker 1: I thinks you had to be born in the seventies.
Speaker 1: He drinks still water, all right, I'll tell you that
Speaker 1: right now. That dude drinks a bunch of water. He
Speaker 1: has to as skin ass. It's honestly, like wild, this
Speaker 1: is the thing. He's one of those dudes where are
Speaker 1: just like I know, he's like I know plenty of
Speaker 1: married men. Women try them all the time. People try
Speaker 1: like women men whoever they are married men who get
Speaker 1: tried by people all the time. And have heard married
Speaker 1: men tell me plenty of men a man and said
Speaker 1: when they had their rings on, there was women in
Speaker 1: their face or people in their face all the time.
Speaker 1: He is one of those dudes where like, would you
Speaker 1: find out he's married, you just like respect and then
Speaker 1: you just back away slowly, like I'm gonna be as
Speaker 1: respectful to this man. Because some men you're like, I'm married,
Speaker 1: and I'm sure you want to be like give a fuck?
Speaker 1: What does that mean to me? Which is always a
Speaker 1: crazy response from a human being. But there's also certain
Speaker 1: people you're just like and God bless your wife, like
Speaker 1: you just want like I don't want, I don't want
Speaker 1: to call. His skin is so clear. It does look
Speaker 1: like he could melt. Yeah, he's like chocolate chocolate. Remember
Speaker 1: those ax Bodius break commercials And people got mad because
Speaker 1: I guess it was like chocolate scented and they were
Speaker 1: like women like this woman on this bus like bit
Speaker 1: into this man, like this chocolate man. No, I did
Speaker 1: not see this. It was an AX bodies spread commercial,
Speaker 1: this woman bit into this chocolate man and people wanted
Speaker 1: to be upset about it, and I was like, I
Speaker 1: don't understand why people are mad about this. This seems
Speaker 1: like a wonderful idea that got mad. Also, people also
Speaker 1: got mad at There was like a Skittle's commercial where
Speaker 1: there's like I guess things that didn't make sense, and
Speaker 1: it was a Korean irishman if people got mad at
Speaker 1: that too because it was this Korean man but he
Speaker 1: had a red beard and a heavy Irish accent. It
Speaker 1: was funny and shit, Now did are there any Korean irishman?
Speaker 1: I mean there's got to be some, right, there's Chinese Jamaicans. Yeah,
Speaker 1: But still when you when you, when it happens, we
Speaker 1: can't act. This is my thing. This is why I
Speaker 1: don't like when people do. Sometimes something will happen and
Speaker 1: people aren't even allowed to be surprised. Yeah, like the
Speaker 1: innocence of surprise can't also be Yeah, I see there
Speaker 1: were There was the Jamaican restaurant in Miami that that
Speaker 1: was run by Chinese Jamaica's and there was literally two
Speaker 1: lines in the restaurant, people that had been there before
Speaker 1: and people that hadn't been there before because the people
Speaker 1: that hadn't been there before needed a minute to process
Speaker 1: what was happening. So there's and there were these two
Speaker 1: likes it sounded like a movie. There was these two
Speaker 1: old Jamaican men, like black Jamakan men that would sit
Speaker 1: there like playing chess or some shit, and then they
Speaker 1: would watch people come in the restaurant and like at
Speaker 1: one time we came there was they were I told
Speaker 1: the sword for years. So I was a little girl.
Speaker 1: The mother and the son were arguing in the back,
Speaker 1: and you hear two Jamaican people arguing, and then this
Speaker 1: guy he's never been there before. He was like talking.
Speaker 1: He's like, yeah, I heard it's a great spot. Dada
Speaker 1: da da da. And he's standing there at the register
Speaker 1: and the lady comes out and she's like, you know,
Speaker 1: it's like you know, how can I help you? And
Speaker 1: he goes and she's like yes, said Chinese that Jamaica
Speaker 1: don't want you want And he's like ah and she
Speaker 1: said okay, stand over there. And then there was just
Speaker 1: like a line of people who were processing Chinese Jamaicans.
Speaker 1: That's wild. And then there was a line of people
Speaker 1: getting food like it was like, oh, you don't get
Speaker 1: standing over at your whist in time. And so of
Speaker 1: course they were out of everything ever, like every good
Speaker 1: Jamaican restaurant is. But then there was a line of
Speaker 1: people and so but the guys were like, oh, watch this,
Speaker 1: like they were tap. They were like, you know, black
Speaker 1: people see something like So he comes up talking, yeah
Speaker 1: you know I heard it was a good spot, and
Speaker 1: they're just sitting there like hm. He's like it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: you've never been here before, and they're like no, He's
Speaker 1: like he just went okay, And then they were like
Speaker 1: very excited to see this man see Chinese Jamaicans for
Speaker 1: the first time. Yeah, but it's like, think about it
Speaker 1: as a kid, the first time you saw a black
Speaker 1: person with a British accent, You're like, what the hell
Speaker 1: is Yeah, what are you? What are you doing? What
Speaker 1: are you? What do you? You're real good at that.
Speaker 1: That's a real good And then and then obviously you
Speaker 1: realize history. Yeah, and then you like, oh it, you
Speaker 1: know Windwood and just okay, coo coo coo coo cool.
Speaker 1: But also it's like, but people are everywhere. So yeah,
Speaker 1: because when I was in Scotland, we went to a
Speaker 1: Korean restaurant in Scotland, and I've been to as a
Speaker 1: crab Benue, a Korean restaurant in Australia. I always I
Speaker 1: guess I was going somewhere and looked for Krean restaurants
Speaker 1: because it's more viable for them, because like my two
Speaker 1: favorite foods or Mexican food and Krean food, and sometimes
Speaker 1: it's more plausible for there be a Korean restaurant somewhere
Speaker 1: than there is a Mexican restaurant somewhere. Um, because I
Speaker 1: remember we were shooting that TV show in London and
Speaker 1: they had like a Mexican restaurant that that was like catering. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I was like, this is gonna be bad, but
Speaker 1: I'm gonna order it because I want to see how
Speaker 1: bad it's gonna be. Can you bloody terrible? Yeah? I was.
Speaker 1: I was like, this place needs to be I remember going, Josh,
Speaker 1: this place to be shut down. The thing, okay, that
Speaker 1: I you reminded me of when you were saying, like
Speaker 1: any good Jamaican place you know they were out of everything,
Speaker 1: is that when I am in a place that's very specific,
Speaker 1: like we're talking like not just a general country's cuisine
Speaker 1: or you know, like culture's cuisine. We're talking like like
Speaker 1: super super specific. When that like just a Roman spot
Speaker 1: and they're not out of anything, and it's a little
Speaker 1: late in the day, I'm like, oh, I'm gonna get
Speaker 1: poisoned because like all y'all are doing is ramen. How
Speaker 1: does everything on the menu available? Yeah? Like it's like
Speaker 1: if you went in a Jamaican place and they were like,
Speaker 1: oh no, we're fully stocked, and it's like seven pm,
Speaker 1: You're like, oh no, what went wrong here? I feel
Speaker 1: like sometimes it's like, honestly have to go. Oh, maybe
Speaker 1: you're paying attention to your inventory. Maybe you roll that's
Speaker 1: when you roll the dice. You're like, look, maybe someone
Speaker 1: in the back is very good at inventory, or somebody
Speaker 1: in the back is very bad at cooking, but we're
Speaker 1: about to find out. It is interesting when you go
Speaker 1: to a Jamaican spot and you're like, oh, y'all have everything.
Speaker 1: Like the place we went to in London. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think the two because he went like what two
Speaker 1: maybe three times something like that. At least two they
Speaker 1: were always out of the paddies. Yes, there are then
Speaker 1: the beef, the chicken, the veggie. They always had them like, bro,
Speaker 1: I don't want a vegetable medley wrapped him dough. I'm good? Yeah,
Speaker 1: but yeah, why yeah, why undercut all my vegetables right
Speaker 1: now with a deep fried bratty dough? Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: that's That's the other thing I think Still wins out
Speaker 1: because still is rewhere. Sparkling isn't everywhere. But maybe it's
Speaker 1: because sparkling is so new to us as a concept
Speaker 1: as a label, you know, uh, because like as a kid,
Speaker 1: you didn't really drink, Like, there's so many water brands now,
Speaker 1: Like it makes me go, Like when I see all
Speaker 1: these water brands, I was like, what if the water
Speaker 1: that we need they're just sitting in these bottles, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like the world? Yeah, like the
Speaker 1: way we like. It's like I feel like, oh, there's
Speaker 1: a water shortage and I'm like yeah, because like fucking pollen.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, we bottled it all. Yeah, we bottled it all,
Speaker 1: and then we wouldn't and then we opened a bottle,
Speaker 1: took a couple of SIPs, and now we can't figure
Speaker 1: out because I literally I was at a bar yesterday.
Speaker 1: I think I think I thought I drank my water.
Speaker 1: I think I drank someone else's water? What what happened?
Speaker 1: So I'm no, I had a water in my jacket,
Speaker 1: and I threw my jacket over in the booth and
Speaker 1: I left, and I was like, oh, my jacket with
Speaker 1: the bottle was like the top of it was like
Speaker 1: pushed in, like it fell down. And I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: somebody picked up my water and put on the table.
Speaker 1: And then and so I grabbed it was drinking it
Speaker 1: because I didn't think, because it was like it was
Speaker 1: a bottle of SmartWater that I'd gotten from work, and
Speaker 1: I knew it was my water because it was water
Speaker 1: in my jacket. And then I was talking this guyet
Speaker 1: at the bar and he was drinking a bottle of
Speaker 1: smart water, and I'm like, I've never seen a bar
Speaker 1: with bottles of smart water. And I was like, oh shit,
Speaker 1: I drink that water because I knew it was my
Speaker 1: water because bars on my bottles of smart water. And
Speaker 1: then it's like, wait a fucking minute, this might not
Speaker 1: be And by that point it was too late, you
Speaker 1: know what. But when I put on my jacket last night,
Speaker 1: there was not any water. Maybe there was my water.
Speaker 1: Where'd my water go? You know? Sometimes there's a mystery
Speaker 1: that just cannot be solved. Jimmy Hoffa, Amelia your heart. Yeah,
Speaker 1: where's my water? Yeah? Where's my water? Sounds like one
Speaker 1: of them. And were you drinking by the way still
Speaker 1: or sparkling? I was drinking still. I can't get the
Speaker 1: smart water. Yeah. Yeah. See, even you, even you in
Speaker 1: your private moments, you go still, You're like call them
Speaker 1: all those bubbles down. Let's get that still in listen Sometimes,
Speaker 1: like if you've ever had I love doing like a
Speaker 1: fruit and fused water. Yeah, And so I'll take a
Speaker 1: little fruit and fused water and then I'll maybe sometimes
Speaker 1: I'll do it with sparkling. Sometimes I'll do it with still.
Speaker 1: Sometimes what I'll do is I'll put a little like
Speaker 1: peal like or this electro lead, which I really like.
Speaker 1: You like that one? Yeah, I like this one. This
Speaker 1: is a coconut flavor. Um, no nothing the technically there's
Speaker 1: water in here now, but coconut flavor is nice. Um.
Speaker 1: It only takes a little bit like sunscreen, but it
Speaker 1: makes you feel like summertime salt, and you could do anytime.
Speaker 1: I like a tropical uh fruit because it holds up
Speaker 1: more in the water. Yeah, but like a cucumber water
Speaker 1: is very good cucumbies. Um, I can say that for
Speaker 1: the fun factor. Just like when you're sitting up drinking
Speaker 1: like fucking eight glasses of water, all this water we're
Speaker 1: supposed to be drinking. Yeah, sometimes you're like, I need
Speaker 1: to switch things up a bit. If you have like
Speaker 1: a whiskey and soda, right, it gives you a little
Speaker 1: something as opposed to just putting straight water in some whiskey.
Speaker 1: Because when I first used to do whisky and water,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I don't sound so they just used
Speaker 1: to do less whiskey. No, you take whiskey, you're a
Speaker 1: little you know whatever, how much whisky, And then they
Speaker 1: would just have them put in like as much club
Speaker 1: soda someone would put in. Yeah, they would put in
Speaker 1: some water. So wait, okay, wait wait they would but
Speaker 1: they are watering down there whiskey. But anytime you put
Speaker 1: in a mixer, you're watering down Alcohol's the club soda
Speaker 1: is just water with bubbles in it. This is just
Speaker 1: water with no bubbles in it. But the water is
Speaker 1: just straight water. So the water is like diluting the whiskey.
Speaker 1: Isn't the club soda adding bubbles and some water? Yes,
Speaker 1: Because if the water in club soda doesn't have the
Speaker 1: same like um makeup as the still water, it seems.
Speaker 1: I it's it's like breaking my brain because I'm like,
Speaker 1: when you add club soda, it feels like you're adding something.
Speaker 1: When you add water, it just feels like you're taking
Speaker 1: something away. I understand what you're saying, because you'd also
Speaker 1: get it with no ice either. I can't tell you
Speaker 1: when I work. Way back when I worked to Julia's this,
Speaker 1: this is what we came in and she wanted um
Speaker 1: like basically a cup of ice water. She wants water,
Speaker 1: and she was like, don't put any ice in it, though,
Speaker 1: And I always used to do that because I know
Speaker 1: that the ice can take up so much space in
Speaker 1: the cup that you're getting less of your drink. But
Speaker 1: she was like, I don't want it to get water
Speaker 1: down because it'll taste different. And I was like, it'll
Speaker 1: taste the ice will taste it'll and she was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it'll taste different if I let it. If the ice
Speaker 1: water is my drink down, it'll taste different. I was like,
Speaker 1: I thought she for a second. I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: so you don't want water, and she was like, no,
Speaker 1: I do want water. I just don't want it to
Speaker 1: get I know some people don't like restaurant ice, Okay,
Speaker 1: I know, um some people they won't like if you're
Speaker 1: on vacation, won't drink ice because the water isn't always filtered. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that does make sense. I know when I was in
Speaker 1: the UK, they don't serve alcoholic beverages. Like when I
Speaker 1: was in Scotland, Edinburgh Fringe and they were saying that
Speaker 1: they only have ice for the Americans because they'll make
Speaker 1: because they'll make a drink and they don't do ice.
Speaker 1: They don't do ice, So like the alcohol's room temperature,
Speaker 1: and say they get like a whiskey, no soda. Both
Speaker 1: items are like room temperature. That makes sense because then
Speaker 1: people will come here and be like, oh this is
Speaker 1: this drink is so nice, or like this thing is
Speaker 1: so refreshing. Well, nothing's refreshing at room temperature. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: But they were saying that the reason they don't do
Speaker 1: ice is because it waters down to drink. But they're
Speaker 1: like Americans are obsessed with getting our ice in. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well I think we love a cold beverage. Also, I
Speaker 1: don't mind ice watering down a drink that doesn't bother
Speaker 1: me because my goal is not to get fucking trashed.
Speaker 1: My goal is to enjoy an alcoholic beverage. Yeah, And
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, it's like I don't listen.
Speaker 1: No one enjoys the taste of alcohol. People enjoy the
Speaker 1: feeling that they get from alcohol, or you've had better
Speaker 1: tasting alcohol. But if we enjoyed the taste of alcohol,
Speaker 1: we wouldn't have cocktails, and we wouldn't have mixed drinks. Sure,
Speaker 1: if alcohol tasted good, we'd have no screwdrivers, no gin
Speaker 1: and juice, no other other We wouldn't be doing another ship. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because it it uh, it's smelly. It is. It's smelly,
Speaker 1: it's flammable. They could do a lot of damage to
Speaker 1: your body if you drinking on a regular basis. M
Speaker 1: But I can say that's sparkling water. Now, it's like
Speaker 1: that makes sense because like the fact that just water
Speaker 1: adding water alcoholic broke your brain because I felt like
Speaker 1: it was taking something away that's so interesting. Clubs some
Speaker 1: about like it's adding something. Yeah, I just felt like
Speaker 1: it was adding the bubbles, it was adding the you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Because I also think for your
Speaker 1: health and for feeling refreshed still is the way to go.
Speaker 1: I think that, like sparkling is a more We're at
Speaker 1: an event or we're having dinner. Yeah, we're having fun.
Speaker 1: But if it's hot out and somebody basically offers you
Speaker 1: a flavorless sprite, you're gonna start swinging. Even if they
Speaker 1: offered you of like a Lacroix, you'd be like, I
Speaker 1: am burning up if I don't need that. I learned
Speaker 1: that on a summer's day it was hot. I was
Speaker 1: outside someone HANDLUI your Lacroix, and I was like, what
Speaker 1: a fucking waste of time? It tasted good. We all
Speaker 1: love pompa Moose, But did I get the refreshing that
Speaker 1: I needed in that moment? I did not. Okay, I
Speaker 1: mean scarcly has it. I do love that, you know,
Speaker 1: because there's different levels of you know, bu bujas in
Speaker 1: your water. Some of them seem bigger than others. Coca
Speaker 1: Cola seems to have the biggest fucking bubbles in life.
Speaker 1: Pepsi seems to be bigger. I don't even like pepsi,
Speaker 1: but I did have a Coca Cola for the first
Speaker 1: time in years about like two months ago. That motherfucker
Speaker 1: it's not a bad I get it. I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: probably drink it again from five more years. But because
Speaker 1: I don't know you can drink cocola regular basis, I
Speaker 1: also don't like. I've known people like my grandmother drank
Speaker 1: it a lot, and I was just like, I don't
Speaker 1: get how this is. I feel like, now you just
Speaker 1: have a sugar craving. Now it's more like, oh you
Speaker 1: like the repetition. It's more routine now. It can't be
Speaker 1: for this flavor, because she gave me some one time
Speaker 1: and I was like, woof taste like burn. It is heavy.
Speaker 1: It is heavy. Fact when you do that experiment as
Speaker 1: a kid, you put the tooth and coca cola and
Speaker 1: it's rubbery. Has always bugged me. You're drinking to cooke.
Speaker 1: Your teeth feel weird. But a cold coca cola does
Speaker 1: do something. Because a cold coca cola, like a nice,
Speaker 1: nice cole coca cola on a hot day, we'll do
Speaker 1: more than a lacroix um. I can't ask you this.
Speaker 1: Have you for the wrap up soda stream? I've tried
Speaker 1: it and it is not for me. But I respect
Speaker 1: a good soda stream. I respect a soda stream in
Speaker 1: the home. You know, I respect someone's twenty four to
Speaker 1: seven access need for a bubbly water, did you know?
Speaker 1: And this is from my listeners out there. I was
Speaker 1: at someone's house for a New Year's Day brunch without
Speaker 1: the New Year's are a party of the night before
Speaker 1: everyone went home. We came back for brunch. They were
Speaker 1: doing mimosas. Ran out of champagne, but people had brought
Speaker 1: like a couple of bottles of white wine, and I said, Yo,
Speaker 1: just put this cheap ass wine in the soda stream
Speaker 1: and it worked. That's wild, that's but that's all champagne is.
Speaker 1: It's just carbonated wine. Yeah, not fermented, because fermented is different.
Speaker 1: It's carbonated wine. So you put the white wine, and
Speaker 1: I want and I want to hear. I want to
Speaker 1: see all the comments. I want to see all the
Speaker 1: messages for people that took some cheap ass box wine
Speaker 1: tossing into fucking soda stream and bam, it's mimosas all day. Baby,
Speaker 1: what it is having to be a live So let's
Speaker 1: kick it over to the listeners because I know that
Speaker 1: this is a constant conversation that we're all having right now.
Speaker 1: Sparkling versus bubbles. We all know the sparkling. I guess
Speaker 1: it had to. It's rich people origins, so that's why
Speaker 1: it's called sparkling, because you know, middle class and lower
Speaker 1: we would have called it bubble water and kept it moving,
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, yeah, I mean, look, I just want
Speaker 1: to hear from you all out there. Do you prefer
Speaker 1: when when the server comes up to you, do you
Speaker 1: prefer still or sparkling? Do you like the feeling of
Speaker 1: the bubbles? Do you like to watch them pop up
Speaker 1: to the top of the glass. Are you a bit bougee?
Speaker 1: Hold on, I have gone out to restaurants recently and
Speaker 1: it's been still sparkling or tap mmmmmmm, okay, it's coming
Speaker 1: out of a bottles bottle. It's coming out of a bottle.
Speaker 1: And so somebody said to me, and there's this uh
Speaker 1: comic on Instagram. I think his name is mister Red
Speaker 1: that I watch on TikTok is the Cuban guy and
Speaker 1: he does like the two parts between him and his
Speaker 1: girlfriend is absolutely amazing. But they do like a sketch.
Speaker 1: They're at on a date and the guy comes up,
Speaker 1: you know, still sparkling water, you know, at tap He's like,
Speaker 1: y'all take government water. And for like a week where
Speaker 1: I would go out, someone's like, you want the government
Speaker 1: Water's fine? It makes you stop, makes you stop. You know,
Speaker 1: is a bottle? Is a bottle or is it sink?
Speaker 1: Is it bottle or is it sink? M and them
Speaker 1: is the questionnaise la. We have to ask in these
Speaker 1: streets because you never know whose municipalities you out here
Speaker 1: sipping on. Friend, you let us know, let us know
Speaker 1: in the comments we read them, we love them, and
Speaker 1: let us know who you think did the better job
Speaker 1: of debating their side. All right, you are you with me?
Speaker 1: Are you gonna keep it still? Are you gonna be
Speaker 1: out here and the only thing still about you is
Speaker 1: your water because you're always grinding, you always running, you
Speaker 1: always putting it in a work. Or you're gonna sparkle.
Speaker 1: You're gonna try to be a little star, be a star,
Speaker 1: be a star. Look at look at your girl. Check
Speaker 1: it out. Beam bam, head bam. I've lift up my foot.
Speaker 1: But you know that you gotta earn that, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. So I'm saying this. We're we're always
Speaker 1: glad that y'all are listening to you know me and
Speaker 1: Josh just have these conversations about the things that you
Speaker 1: think are interesting. Please keep posting your comments, Please keep
Speaker 1: telling us what things you want us to debate, because
Speaker 1: I'm telling you I finally found the long Instagram message. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: and that young lady put in a lot of work,
Speaker 1: So thank you friend. Um, when we do yours, we
Speaker 1: will definitely, I will definitely make sure that we shout
Speaker 1: you out. Um and let us know if you want
Speaker 1: us to come to your city, to your city, to
Speaker 1: your city. Um. Yes, we're always touring. So if you
Speaker 1: check the links in the description, you can find both
Speaker 1: of us in our dates and everything. Yeah, and listen,
Speaker 1: me and Josh would love to come to your city,
Speaker 1: to your neighborhood and talk about things afore. Also, I'm
Speaker 1: trying to check out these mills because guess who's in there,
Speaker 1: your daddy. Y'all have a great rest of the week
Speaker 1: into the weekend. We appreciate you. Hey, everybody, it's Josh.
Speaker 1: I am going to be on the road as part
Speaker 1: of the Freshman Tour. I'm going to be in all
Speaker 1: of these cities coming up, and I would love to
Speaker 1: see you there. You can get your tickets in the
Speaker 1: link that we provide in the show notes. April ninth,
Speaker 1: I'll be in Atlanta April tenth, Nashville April twelfth, Mobile, Alabama,
Speaker 1: April thirteenth, New Orleans April fourteenth at Rouge, and April
Speaker 1: twent through the twenty second. I'm gonna be in San Diego,
Speaker 1: Cali for you, so I'd love to see you there. Hello, friends,
Speaker 1: I've got some dates coming up where you can see
Speaker 1: me your girl telling the comedy jokes. I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: at the Blue Room Comedy Club in Springfield, Missouri, April
Speaker 1: sixth through the eighth. I'm going to be at the
Speaker 1: Moontower Comedy Festival in Austin, Texas April nineteenth through the
Speaker 1: twenty second. And I'm going to be at Lass Boston
Speaker 1: in Boston, Massachusetts, May eleventh through May thirteenth. It'll be
Speaker 1: available on my website m I leak three and just
Speaker 1: at the club probably, so come see me. I love you, Bye,