Speaker 1: Yes, I'd like to buy a ticket, but before I do,
Speaker 1: could you tell me what the hell this is?
Speaker 2: It's one more thing. I'm strong and getty. I am
Speaker 2: a little hesitant to.
Speaker 1: Poke fun at this because it's probably some very nice
Speaker 1: people and it showed up in my email. I might
Speaker 1: even know these people. I'm going to read it just
Speaker 1: as it is, and then you can explain to me
Speaker 1: what the hell this is. I try elevate your life.
Speaker 1: The Village Heart an evening of authentic connection coming up
Speaker 1: May twenty second, from seven.
Speaker 2: To nine thirty pm. Well that sounds great, does it?
Speaker 2: What is It's it?
Speaker 1: No, there's more, but like starting right there, just even
Speaker 1: seeing that that sounds nice, isn't your first question?
Speaker 2: What is that? What is an evening of authentic connection?
Speaker 2: I can't imagine. It sounds like a secular church service.
Speaker 1: From the poster it is. This is for you if
Speaker 1: you're longing for meaningful interactions and a sense of community,
Speaker 1: make new friends, go beyond the surface, cultivate true belonging.
Speaker 2: Sounds like a really nice pitch for those of us
Speaker 2: who feel isolated by the modern world. That will turn
Speaker 2: into a cult recruitment.
Speaker 1: Because what I'm wondering is like, I get that, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I get the modern world isolated blah blah blah, But
Speaker 1: do you.
Speaker 2: Have any idea what's going to happen when you get there?
Speaker 2: At this point? From me post, you'll listen to a
Speaker 2: brief address by our leader Jim, who you will find
Speaker 2: incredibly charismatic. You will end up sexing up your wife
Speaker 2: and your daughters eventually.
Speaker 1: I mean, it.
Speaker 2: Seems like the poster should give you a better idea of.
Speaker 1: The slightest inkling as to what's gonna happen when you
Speaker 1: walk in to the door of this place, because I mean,
Speaker 1: at this point on the poster, I would have no idea.
Speaker 3: Are there any images on the poster.
Speaker 1: A man hugging a woman?
Speaker 2: They're both sitting, No, see sitting hug Yeah, awkward, kinky.
Speaker 2: Thirty five dollars. It's thirty five dollars to get in.
Speaker 2: That's the reason. Anyway. You know, that's a good price
Speaker 2: for that value. You don't want overpay for that, right,
Speaker 2: it's a good value.
Speaker 1: You're right, Michael, that's a good value, only thirty five
Speaker 1: dollars for and it's from seven to nine thirty that's
Speaker 1: a good length for this sort of thing.
Speaker 2: Can anybody come up with two reasons why you would
Speaker 2: be unnecessarily vague about something? I can come up with one,
Speaker 2: because if you told people what was actually going on,
Speaker 2: they'd run in the other direction. Can anybody come up
Speaker 2: with a second reason? Probably not.
Speaker 1: So that was the only thing that was in the poster.
Speaker 1: And I actually have seen this poster around town, and
Speaker 1: that was my reaction was, I haven't got the slightest
Speaker 1: idea what this is? Do they expect people to show up,
Speaker 1: pay thirty five dollars and walk in the door with
Speaker 1: no clue? Like is this a craft seminar or a
Speaker 1: religious thing or a dating thing?
Speaker 3: Yeah, that sounds like they're using the element of like intrigue.
Speaker 2: But luckily, here's here. Can I do my official guess
Speaker 2: or would that not be you? Go ahead? My official
Speaker 2: guess is some sort of non denominational well not for
Speaker 2: thirty five dollars, say, like a church service thing, So
Speaker 2: ry go ahead.
Speaker 1: Luckily on the email version, sorry my moving off. On
Speaker 1: the email version, it had the people behind it, like
Speaker 1: you could email them for questions. And then I did
Speaker 1: a little digging went to their website, so I got
Speaker 1: a little more information. You're invited to join us for
Speaker 1: an evening of heart to heart connection, where we go
Speaker 1: beyond the surface and dive into the essence of our
Speaker 1: shared humanity.
Speaker 3: Newdest colony of recruitment.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, don't see enough wang every day hate ten lines.
Speaker 1: Whether you're seeking to make new friendships, deep in existing relationships,
Speaker 1: or just explore new ways of connecting, the village, Heart
Speaker 1: offers a space for curiosity and exploration. Again nothing but vagaries,
Speaker 1: I mean just okay, so again, gotta just my my
Speaker 1: hands up.
Speaker 2: What am I getting for thirty five dollars? What is
Speaker 2: happening here?
Speaker 1: Here's what you can expect, it says, Okay, good, there
Speaker 1: we go. Guided connection activities. These include moving through the
Speaker 1: space with others, partner exercises, and group activities that encourage
Speaker 1: meaningful interactions. Excuse me, start to listen to a person
Speaker 1: with whooping cough.
Speaker 3: I vote if you button, yeah right, if you go
Speaker 3: walk in coughing and let everybody know I've got whooping cough.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna try to do this paragraph about coughing because
Speaker 2: it's too good. I mean, this is an orgy. It's
Speaker 2: an orgy. Will you figured it out? Michael you're being
Speaker 2: invited to an orgy. This paragraph's unbelievable. Here's what you
Speaker 2: can expect. Damn it, Nope, not gonna happen. I can't
Speaker 2: do it. That takes all the fun out of it.
Speaker 2: Guided it to me?
Speaker 1: Guided connection activities. These include moving through the space with others,
Speaker 1: the space, what space?
Speaker 2: The space, the vaginal space.
Speaker 1: No, I don't think it's I'm sorry, that's weird because
Speaker 1: they looked like it came out of Michaelangelo's mouth.
Speaker 2: That is so How out of character was that? That
Speaker 2: is off brand? What very funny? Sorry for the JC
Speaker 2: bomb folks.
Speaker 1: These include moving through the space with others, partner exercises,
Speaker 1: and group activities that encourage meaningful interactions and new ways
Speaker 1: of relating to one another.
Speaker 2: You told me it does have a bit of a
Speaker 2: diddy field.
Speaker 1: Will yeah, bring your own baby oil again another paragraph.
Speaker 1: We're under the heading of here's what you can expect.
Speaker 1: That told me nothing, not a single thing. I still
Speaker 1: have zero idea what I would get if I walked
Speaker 1: through the door with my thirty five dollars ticket.
Speaker 2: Still waiting to hear that second possible explanation for the
Speaker 2: spectacular vagueness opportunities to explore and stretch comfort zones. Ah, yoga,
Speaker 2: we're talking.
Speaker 1: I've been saying about that's hand Like I nailed it earlier,
Speaker 1: whether you were sharing, listening, or engaging in somatic practices
Speaker 1: somatic of the body, every exercise is an invitation to
Speaker 1: stretch just beyond your comfort zone in a safe and
Speaker 1: supportive environment. That could be this is a freak. I
Speaker 1: don't think it's. Yeah, I mean it is a you're
Speaker 1: gonna be a little uncomfortable with this, but come on,
Speaker 1: think outside.
Speaker 2: The box, relax, breathe deep.
Speaker 1: Each participant is free to choose their level of engagement
Speaker 1: at all times and opt out of any exercise.
Speaker 2: That's what.
Speaker 4: For gods, Oh, this is this is kind of scary.
Speaker 1: If you buy tickets ahead of time, they're twenty five.
Speaker 1: At the door they're thirty. Oh wow, that is a
Speaker 1: real value, Mike. And here's my favorite part. Space is limited?
Speaker 2: Is it? How much space do you need to do
Speaker 2: what you're doing? Which is what I thought that was
Speaker 2: so funny is that the yeah, pretty much.
Speaker 1: There's one more paragraph that I can't read, but yeah,
Speaker 1: space is limited. So they recommend your register Mandarin or
Speaker 1: because of my whooping golf.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, come just as you are. Sorry, Sorry, what
Speaker 2: are you gonna do? It's a dread disease.
Speaker 1: Come just as you are, challenge yourself by choice and
Speaker 1: leave feeling understood, inspired and a part of truly something
Speaker 1: special and sticky.
Speaker 2: And making more income than you ever dreamed possible.
Speaker 1: Or you now on a timeshare, or you've got a
Speaker 1: bunch of tupperware.
Speaker 2: Are you've shaved your head and you're worshiping the gym? Exactly?
Speaker 3: I'm going to drink a potion at the end of
Speaker 3: the event.
Speaker 2: Yeah, good, all sex, all sex jokes aside.
Speaker 1: I haven't the slightest idea what's gonna happen there if
Speaker 1: you went, I'm.
Speaker 2: Guessing something.
Speaker 1: New agey, spiritual but not religious, for profit that you
Speaker 1: sign up for a dozen classes and buy the equipment.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I feel like somebody's going to walk into the Remotekay,
Speaker 1: are you ready to begin? And I would say begin.
Speaker 2: What they're not going to tell you till the end.
Speaker 2: It reminds me of I thought I was applying for
Speaker 2: one job between semesters in college, and it was door
Speaker 2: to door vacuum sales.
Speaker 1: And it wasn't like till the last ten minutes of
Speaker 1: a two day training process. Really that they told us
Speaker 1: what the job is and I'm like kidding, goodbye, yeah, wow, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2: And my mom and dad had tried to warn me
Speaker 2: because they could smell it, but they were so clever
Speaker 2: at concealing what we have positions in factory representation, in
Speaker 2: product service andlah blah blah. No, it's just a door
Speaker 2: to doors vacuum sales. It's always a single guy. At
Speaker 2: the time, I should have taken the gig because some
Speaker 2: of my friends who had door to door jobs had
Speaker 2: some interesting encounters with Ford housewives, but I chose to pass.
Speaker 1: Each participant is free to choose their level of engagement
Speaker 1: at all times and opt out of any exercise.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that one. That one's odd.
Speaker 2: See, I think it's swinging. It certainly could be a
Speaker 2: freak off. I don't think it is, but not hilarious. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it really is. It is. It's the perfect example of.
Speaker 1: One of those twenty five dollars if you buy the
Speaker 1: digging out thirty five at the door. Space is limited
Speaker 1: right well, because you could only have ten people doing.
Speaker 2: What or fifty or a million?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I almost want to go. I mean unless they're
Speaker 1: going to hold me ostage. I can always leave as
Speaker 1: soon as they figure out what it is.
Speaker 2: Well, you can opt out of if anything makes you
Speaker 2: feel uncomfortable. You'd be worth twenty five bucks until we
Speaker 2: put the manacles on you anyway. Wah.
Speaker 1: I know they snap on a rubber glove and they
Speaker 1: walk over with a big bottle of something, and you're
Speaker 1: ready for.
Speaker 2: Right. You think it's a scientology. I need you to
Speaker 2: get up on this pummel horse. What I did think
Speaker 2: of that once or twice, Michael, something like that, A
Speaker 2: quasi religious organization some sort.
Speaker 1: I think that, Yeah, m maybe it's that. Maybe it
Speaker 1: is how you get people into some sort of weird
Speaker 1: cult thing, people that don't have the ability to like
Speaker 1: read that and say.
Speaker 2: What is this?
Speaker 1: It doesn't say what it is anywhere and to understand
Speaker 1: that that's not intriguing, that's disturbing and a warning, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: And they're appealing from the first sentence to people who
Speaker 1: feel disconnected.
Speaker 2: And lonely, right, which is a lot of folks.
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, well beware everybody.
Speaker 2: I guess that's it.