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Speaker 1: You hear me confession.

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Speaker 2: I can't take back all arms.

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Speaker 1: Mouse Speak, Texas seventy five nine two says years ago,

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Speaker 1: I got in trouble at middle school and the teacher

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Speaker 1: asked for my parents' number so he could call them,

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Speaker 1: and I gave him a totally fake one, and whatever

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Speaker 1: guy answered that phone actually went along with you. I

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Speaker 1: just want to say you are welcome. Now, you owe

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Speaker 1: me you. I am here for anybody who's in need

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Speaker 1: of help. That's what we do on Broken Jeffrey in

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Speaker 1: the morning. We will help children lie to their teachers

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Speaker 1: and will help listeners confess their secrets. Right here on

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Speaker 1: the mass speaker. We've got a guy who wants to

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Speaker 1: share his secret today. He's chosen to go by Will

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Speaker 1: as his fake name. So Will, my delinquent son, welcome

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Speaker 1: to the show.

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Speaker 2: Hey, guys, thanks for having me.

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Speaker 1: Will wasn't sure how to answer that.

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Speaker 2: He's still scared the father figure.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna put you on time out if you're not good.

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Speaker 1: The voice changer is on. You are the mass speaker.

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Speaker 1: Whenever you're ready, Will, let's hear your confession.

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Speaker 2: All right, So it happened back in college. I had

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Speaker 2: a big crush on a girl in my class. So cool,

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Speaker 2: so nice, just so pretty. Wait so you actually talked

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Speaker 2: to her? Yeah, okay, good.

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Speaker 1: Form a crush. I'm like, I'm leaving her alone. Good

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Speaker 1: for me. In eight years, I'll make my.

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Speaker 2: Move, all right, look at you, mister confidence. Yeah. So

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Speaker 2: it turned out she's Canadian and moved to the US

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Speaker 2: for school. She's Canadian nice. So here's the thing, though,

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Speaker 2: I don't really have a lot of game, and so

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Speaker 2: I figured there was a way if I told her

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Speaker 2: that I was also from Canada.

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Speaker 1: You were gonna claim Canadian citizenship that you're from the same.

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Speaker 2: Tim Morton's huh.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean when you think about guys lying to

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Speaker 1: girls saying they're from a different country than they actually are,

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Speaker 1: it's usually like Britain or Australia. Not a lot of

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Speaker 1: flexing their fake Canadian accents to Is that what you did?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, So we went out and we had a

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Speaker 2: lot of fun, and honestly, I tried to be as

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Speaker 2: Canadian as possible.

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Speaker 1: What does that mean?

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Speaker 2: What does that mean to you? Are only listening to

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Speaker 2: Justin Bieber Well, you know I was adjusting my stories

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Speaker 2: the sorry s. Yeah, I bought a bunch of maple

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Speaker 2: syrup and like had it all over my apartment.

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Speaker 1: Okay, like you poured it out. You just mean you

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Speaker 1: had several bottles lying around the trap for a bear.

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Speaker 1: Like she can smell the maple syrup. She's probably thinking,

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Speaker 1: like you have a problem drinking and Molson.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, and then I also went as far as

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Speaker 2: you guys, I took an online flightness course.

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Speaker 1: Actually probably would serve you in life. A lot of people. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so this girl was actually buying that you really were Canadian.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean she didn't really catch on. And it's

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Speaker 2: kind of tough because whenever she came over, I had

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Speaker 2: to switch the TV over to hockey. Oh my god, man,

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Speaker 2: I'm a football fan.

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Speaker 1: Oh you had to miss your favorite stuff just to

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Speaker 1: watch some people skating around. I love You're like Thursday

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Speaker 1: night football, I mean hockey night. Yeah, this is funny.

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Speaker 1: The most patriotic Canadian that ever lived. I've got like

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Speaker 1: a picture of Trudeau over the fireplace. Was probably nice

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Speaker 1: for her because it feels like she's home every time

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Speaker 1: she goes over to your doors. Probably weird enough, like

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Speaker 1: people in Canada don't do this. If I walked into

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Speaker 1: a girl's house and it was all American flags of memory.

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Speaker 1: But why is Abraham Lincoln looking at me in the eye?

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Speaker 1: Would right, red white and blue black? What was the

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Speaker 1: hardest thing that you had to fake to be a Canadian?

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Speaker 2: So I would say the hardest thing is Canadian Thanksgiving?

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Speaker 1: Canadian Thanksgiving? Oh, because it happens, isn't it in October?

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Speaker 1: Or is the beginning of November? And they don't Canadian Geese.

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Speaker 1: I'm America, so I don't care about that craft.

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Speaker 2: It is a different day.

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Speaker 1: Why was that so hard?

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Speaker 2: Because you had to convince your family No. She she

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Speaker 2: would constantly go back to Canada and she would say, oh,

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Speaker 2: are you going to go visit? I would go to

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Speaker 2: airport with her, like drop her off and act like

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Speaker 2: I was also getting on a plane.

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Speaker 1: No, because she's expecting you to fly home to your

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Speaker 1: family the same time she's flying home to hers.

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Speaker 2: Right. So there was a year that I actually did

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Speaker 2: go back with her to Canada and visited with their family.

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Speaker 1: For years, and you met feeling all this why is

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Speaker 1: still happening?

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Speaker 2: Three days and you were done, Oh my no, no, guys,

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Speaker 2: this is a long game thing for sure. So we

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Speaker 2: went back to kiss me and thanks get it, visited

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Speaker 2: her family. I basically thought I was from Winnipeg. Winnipeg,

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Speaker 2: how would you explain your own family and your childhood friends.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they froze to death in the cold winter.

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Speaker 2: Winter.

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Speaker 1: Someone had to have outed you, right, like between her

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Speaker 1: family your girlfriend, like or are you currently married to

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Speaker 1: this Canadian woman?

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Speaker 2: Well, so here's the thing. We were in a two

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Speaker 2: year relationship and she actually caught me. She caught you,

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Speaker 2: Yeah she did, Yeah she did.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, how that happened?

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Speaker 2: One day we went out to breakfast. I ordered Canadian bacon.

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Speaker 2: You order Canadian bacon. Yeah, and she just looked at me,

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Speaker 2: her eyes about the pop out of her head, and

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Speaker 2: she goes, Canadians call it ham.

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Speaker 1: That's what did it?

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Speaker 2: Oh No, I thought she was suspicious for a long

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Speaker 2: time and it was like the nail in the car.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she at that point figured it all out and

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Speaker 2: I be honest with there and everything. And did she

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Speaker 2: want to date a non Canadian citizen? Well, she was

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Speaker 2: really pitched that. You know, I had lied about it

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Speaker 2: for so long.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's probably more of both the two years applying

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Speaker 1: than the non Canadian thing. Okay, I thought you loved me, Well, dude,

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Speaker 1: thanks for sharing your secret with us and sorry that

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Speaker 1: that happened to you, But texting seventy eight five nine

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Speaker 1: two if you have a confession you've been holding on to,

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Speaker 1: will hide your identity, mask your voice, and make you

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Speaker 1: our next mass speaker. Your phone taps coming up right

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Speaker 1: after this