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Speaker 1: Would I be the a hole for canceling my brother's wedding?

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Speaker 1: This is okop, home to the craziest true stories on Earth.

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Speaker 1: I'm Sophia and Riley. What are the circumstances that would

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Speaker 1: make you cancel your brother's wedding?

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Speaker 2: It was raining outside? There you have it, so it's

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Speaker 2: always one of the outdoor wedding.

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Speaker 1: Terrific terror, says I. Female thirty one, have a brother,

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Speaker 1: male twenty eight, who's hoping to get married to his fiance,

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Speaker 1: female twenty five. They've been in a relationship for a

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Speaker 1: long time, have kids and a house together, so she

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Speaker 1: isn't someone who's new to the family. We're all European,

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Speaker 1: but I we're all European. But I own a gorgeous

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Speaker 1: house in Colorado.

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Speaker 3: Oh the rich rich, Yeah, she's got to be.

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Speaker 1: It's in the middle of the mountains, surrounded by forests,

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Speaker 1: has huge windows looking out on my acres surrounding it.

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Speaker 1: Truly is stunning and a dream come true. How she's

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Speaker 1: thirty one, Okay, that's like older. You know you could

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Speaker 1: have a house. But that's crazy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean more women own houses in their thirties

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Speaker 2: than men do.

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Speaker 3: That makes sense. Why men are irresponsible.

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Speaker 1: A couple of months ago, my brother came to be

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Speaker 1: and asked me if they could use my house for

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Speaker 1: a destination wedding. Well, I was hesitant to host a

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Speaker 1: goddamn wedding in the house of my dreams. I can

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Speaker 1: absolutely understand how my dream home is her dream venue.

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Speaker 1: I told them they absolutely could, but I had some rules,

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Speaker 1: despite me not living there. Number one, no more than

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Speaker 1: twenty five guests. It truly is in the middle of nowhere,

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Speaker 1: so guests would have to sleep at the house, and

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Speaker 1: I simply do not have room for more.

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Speaker 3: Number two.

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Speaker 1: Nothing that permanently alters anything in or around the house.

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Speaker 1: Number three no smoking indoors. Number four any damage done

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Speaker 1: by them or their guests would have to be paid for.

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Speaker 2: This seems reasonable.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, no smoking alter the house. Yeah, I feel like

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Speaker 1: that's a fair The twenty five guest.

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Speaker 3: Things, yeah, is a little bit. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I would just be like, if you want to have

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Speaker 1: more people, they cannot stay at house like point plank periods.

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Speaker 1: So that's up to them. If they think that they

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Speaker 1: don't have anywhere to stay, then you know they have

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Speaker 1: to make that choice.

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Speaker 2: How far I'm guessing an hour, they're an hour away

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Speaker 2: from the nearest hotel.

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Speaker 3: But even an hour, I feel like that's not too

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Speaker 3: crazy of a drive. Yeah, yeah, to get to a

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Speaker 3: venue like for a wedding.

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Speaker 2: I don't know. I feel like a lot of people.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, if they're European, they're not used to drive in

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Speaker 3: an hour.

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Speaker 2: They're not.

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Speaker 3: They don't make this kind of drive.

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Speaker 2: Their closest hotel to them is probably like thirty minutes ago.

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Speaker 2: We're unwilling to drive that far.

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Speaker 1: It's too far, Opi continues. Since I'm quite protective of

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Speaker 1: the house, I offered to decorate and find a caterer

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Speaker 1: and that be my gift to them. So I'm providing

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Speaker 1: them with a venue, food, and decorations. I'm certainly almost

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Speaker 1: ten k into my gift because it's my brother's wedding

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Speaker 1: and it's what I wanted to do.

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Speaker 3: Ten K.

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Speaker 1: WHOA, you're paying for everything. You're paid for the whole wedding,

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Speaker 1: Opie continues. Now Steph has hit the fan. His fiance

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Speaker 1: decided she needed at least forty five guests. While I

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Speaker 1: was willing to be flexible by one or two, but

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Speaker 1: twenty nah. I asked her if she wanted to stack them,

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Speaker 1: and she got salty. Top of that, she wants me

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Speaker 1: to pay to fly her family in. Oh, she wants

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Speaker 1: you to pay to fly her family in after you

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Speaker 1: put down ten k on her wedding.

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Speaker 3: No, what I don't even understand the logic there.

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Speaker 1: What is the logic of having her like this sister

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Speaker 1: in law pay?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? I was like forty five guests. I'm like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: could you maybe get some like say hey, they can come,

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Speaker 2: but they can't.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, No, I see that. I can see anyway for

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Speaker 3: forty five guests, but.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you lost the flight.

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Speaker 3: She's one hundred.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: On top of that, she wants me to pay to

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Speaker 1: fly her family in because I fronted the money to

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Speaker 1: my other brother. He's paying me back because he couldn't

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Speaker 1: afford a ticket. How is she equated? How is this

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Speaker 1: fiance equating? Oh, pee paying loaning her brother like her

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Speaker 1: blood brother money? Yeah, to paying for a family she's

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Speaker 1: not remotely related to make that makes sense?

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Speaker 2: Also, if broken afford a plane ticket, should he be

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Speaker 2: getting married other brothers?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 1: This is so it's the other brother who needed help,

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Speaker 1: and then the fiance's family, which is yeah wild. I

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Speaker 1: told her no, and again I got sassed on.

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Speaker 3: Top of that.

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Speaker 1: She wants me to build a pergola, which I actually considered,

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Speaker 1: paint my living room, cover up the beautiful wood. So

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Speaker 1: f no, and also pay for the drinks. I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: this isn't like your house. Why is this fiance trying

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Speaker 1: to call all the shots on this house that's being

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Speaker 1: offered to her out of the kindness of Opie's heart.

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Speaker 2: Paint the this fiano.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, paint the living room where if OPI.

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Speaker 2: Drives their dream house.

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Speaker 3: Their dream house with the beautiful wood. No, no, no, no.

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Speaker 2: I would do all this if they gave me, like

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Speaker 2: fifty K.

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Speaker 3: That's a thing.

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Speaker 1: If they were like, hey, we would love to help

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Speaker 1: with some renovations to help make this thing. We want

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Speaker 1: to pay for that. Yeah maybe if you liked those,

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Speaker 1: of course, But maybe to ask her to not only

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Speaker 1: change up her house but also pay for it herself

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Speaker 1: when she's paying for everything else. Uh no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: I said, no, oh, I've done enough. She has now

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Speaker 1: taken it upon herself to tell people I'm coming back

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Speaker 1: on my promises, that I left her hanging, that she

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Speaker 1: can't afford the super expensive wedding I made her plan

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Speaker 1: and even went as far to uninvite my grandparents just

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Speaker 1: to spite me. Her words were you wanted me to

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Speaker 1: cut back on guests, so I'm picking your family.

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Speaker 3: Mmmm well, then you're cut out of her house.

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Speaker 2: You're already doing the right first step by coming to

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Speaker 2: read it. The second thing you gotta do. I need

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Speaker 2: to make a name for this. Yeah, the makeup tutorials,

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Speaker 2: I always mention it. Oh yeah, but just go on TikTok.

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Speaker 2: Oh the fiance, Yeah, have to fund her wedding, not

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Speaker 2: the fiance. OP. So if the fiance starts going to

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Speaker 2: the family saying all this, she needs to go on.

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Speaker 2: Op needs to go on TikTok.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Say this, yeah, word for word with their makeup, and

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Speaker 2: you'll have millions of people on your side. You'll be fun.

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Speaker 2: It's true. Call this. I need a name for it now,

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Speaker 2: some people in the comments, give me a name for this,

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Speaker 2: because I want this to have a name.

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Speaker 3: This already is a thing.

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Speaker 2: It is a thing, but I need a name for it.

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Speaker 3: Okay, you just want a name for the genre video.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, a name for genre of video. But it's an action.

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Speaker 2: It's like, Oh, I'm gonna tell everyone that you're a

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Speaker 2: terrible person, but all you gotta do is just put

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Speaker 2: your makeup on and tell this and.

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Speaker 3: You got yeah, make up good stories, give me a

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Speaker 3: name for it.

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Speaker 1: Op continues, I'm getting at least two messages a day

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Speaker 1: asking me why I'm ruining her day. If I'm jealous, girl,

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Speaker 1: you're clearly jealous of her. You want to have your

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Speaker 1: wedding at her house?

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Speaker 2: There's nothing to be what what she has? Yeah, she

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Speaker 2: has everything.

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Speaker 1: She's got a beautiful dream home in Colorado. But do

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Speaker 1: you have nothing?

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Speaker 3: Today?

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Speaker 1: She called me to tell me that if I keep

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Speaker 1: going out of my way to make her miserable, I

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Speaker 1: and my rescues.

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Speaker 3: Two of my children are adopted. What I'm sorry? What

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Speaker 3: this woman is insane?

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Speaker 2: Also kind of funny, horrible and like the rescues. Like,

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Speaker 2: next time I have a friend that's adopted, I might

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Speaker 2: call them them.

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Speaker 3: Don't call them that.

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Speaker 2: That's horrible, should not say that about children, But like,

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Speaker 2: I don't even have adopted friends.

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Speaker 3: I feel like you, Yeah, I feel like you can't

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Speaker 3: be saying I could.

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Speaker 2: Just see it at a comedy club and so saying

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Speaker 2: I'm a rescue and be like I'm adopted, that'd be hilarious.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, if an adopted person, use that joke. That

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Speaker 1: would be different.

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Speaker 2: Okay, But oh my god.

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Speaker 1: I cannot imagine talking to your sister in law so

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Speaker 1: these are your nephews and your future nephews and nieces

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Speaker 1: and calling them rescues.

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Speaker 3: That's oh my god.

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Speaker 2: This is You're dealing with a woman that has never

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Speaker 2: heard these two letters combined together.

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Speaker 1: I know they wouldn't be invited either. While I find

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Speaker 1: it absurd that she thinks she can uninvite me from

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Speaker 1: my own house, the fact that she referred to my

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Speaker 1: kids as rescues has me absolutely fuming. I am considering

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Speaker 1: canceling the whole thing, but it would be royally effing

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Speaker 1: over my brother in the process, who has done nothing wrong.

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Speaker 1: So is her Joe overshadowing my need to protect my

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Speaker 1: brother from a giant financial hole? I don't know edit

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Speaker 1: to add I do not live in Colorado. We all

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Speaker 1: live in our home country in Europe. Would I be

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Speaker 1: the a hole? No, you should cancel that wedding and

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Speaker 1: and tell your brother what's going on.

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Speaker 2: You're not going to be over.

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Speaker 1: No, You're gonna be saving him from a horrible marriage

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Speaker 1: with this horrible woman who pauls adopted children rescues and

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Speaker 1: has uninvited your grandparents.

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Speaker 2: He's dodging a bullet. You're helping them out.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I cancel that wedd and cancel it so fast.

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Speaker 1: How do people like this exist? I don't understand. And

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Speaker 1: why are they getting married to people? How are they

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Speaker 1: getting married to people? Who's marrying these people?

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Speaker 2: It looks, I think one of the looks. They just

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Speaker 2: look really great.

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Speaker 1: She's got she has to because her personality is horrible. Yes,

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Speaker 1: she has the personality of a wet leaf. It's like,

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Speaker 1: not even crunchy, it's just a soggy leaf. But there

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Speaker 1: are some relevant comments Opi. When questioned on the second

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Speaker 1: house repeatedly, Opie says, I purchased this house after it

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Speaker 1: had been on the market for close to two years.

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Speaker 1: It was in complete disrepair, and I spent a little

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Speaker 1: over a year of my life restoring, not renovating it

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Speaker 1: to its original glorious state. I have spent a lot

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Speaker 1: of money, love, and time on this house, and had

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Speaker 1: anyone wanted it, it would have been purchased somewhere in

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Speaker 1: the two years it was on the market.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: By that logic, should I no longer buy that last

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Speaker 1: block of cheese? At the supermarket because someone else might

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Speaker 1: want it. Not park anywhere because someone else could want

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Speaker 1: to park there. I might move into this home. I

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Speaker 1: might not also happy to see her getting your cardio

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Speaker 1: and jumping to conclusions. The house is currently being used

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Speaker 1: by a friend who needs to get back on his feet,

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Speaker 1: and it has been there for eight months. I work

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Speaker 1: hard for what I have, and if I want to

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Speaker 1: spend it having the home of my dreams, just in

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Speaker 1: case I someday want to live there, that's my choice.

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Speaker 3: Sure, it's just getting defensive. She's like, I will have

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Speaker 3: my house in Colorado. You cannot take it from me.

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Speaker 2: A why of people get mad about that?

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Maybe they're like, I see the I think it's less

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Speaker 1: this is the issue. It's more like when landlords buy

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Speaker 1: up a bunch of property and then won't rent it out.

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Speaker 1: And you know, because that happens a lot where they're

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Speaker 1: just holding on, like hoarding onto the property until they

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Speaker 1: can sell it or rent it at a higher rate.

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Speaker 3: But that's not really what's happening here.

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Speaker 1: She bought a house that she wants to live in,

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Speaker 1: but it's more like a you know, second helme situation.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she's spent a whole, like a year.

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Speaker 3: She's not renting it out.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't seem like you're storing it ooh yeah. And

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Speaker 1: it doesn't seem like she has plans to rent it

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Speaker 1: out either. Yo.

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Speaker 2: The verdict is not enough info interesting.

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Speaker 1: I don't know about that relevant comments Armao says, does

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Speaker 1: your brother know that she's behaving this way?

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Speaker 3: Have you spoken to him about this behavior? Opie says,

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Speaker 3: I have.

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Speaker 1: Almost everything goes through text message, so I screen grabbed

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Speaker 1: the outrageous nonsense. He claims the pressure of planning a

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Speaker 1: wedding has gotten to her and that I should try

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Speaker 1: and be patient. It seems like Opie's been planning this

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Speaker 1: wedding quite frankly. OPI responds to a long comment on

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Speaker 1: canceling the venue and how large is Op's house and

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Speaker 1: if it could accommodate twenty five guests or not. But

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Speaker 1: you're not really canceling a venue if it's your house,

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Speaker 1: you're just canceling flights, Opie said. How big is the

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Speaker 1: house that you can accommodate up to twenty five guests overnight?

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Speaker 3: It is decently big.

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Speaker 1: The sleeping arrangements wouldn't be luxurious, though, think a combination

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Speaker 1: of sleeping on couches, blow up mattresses, and sharing beds

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Speaker 1: not ideal, but it would have worked for one.

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Speaker 3: Or two nights.

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Speaker 1: And then there is an updates. Yeah, I feel like

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Speaker 1: OP should have just if the sister. I mean, now

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Speaker 1: I hate the sister and I want this wedding canceled.

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Speaker 1: But to solve that first, you know, forty five people

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Speaker 1: thing they should she should have just said you can't

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Speaker 1: stay in the house overnight. That. Yeah, just said, like,

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Speaker 1: I don't care what you guys do. You know where

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Speaker 1: you stay, but you can't stay in the house over night.

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Speaker 2: Oh that was the not like, oh, while you're at it,

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Speaker 2: can you paint the living room for me?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? No, fiance added way too many things on and

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Speaker 3: now I hate her.

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Speaker 1: But there's an update, yea'all. As an update was requested

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Speaker 1: a decent amount of times. Here, I am letting you

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Speaker 1: guys know how it all went. First, I do want

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Speaker 1: to address one thing to those claiming I'm an a

283
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Speaker 1: hole because I am contributing to the housing crisis by

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Speaker 1: owning a house I don't live in.

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Speaker 2: I'm not.

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Speaker 1: This is a house so deep in the mountains I

287
00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:47,960
Speaker 1: need to drive fifty minutes to go do groceries. The

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00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:51,000
Speaker 1: internet is so crappy. I'm waiting for even starlink to

289
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Speaker 1: start covering the area. And when it snows, you sure

290
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,520
Speaker 1: aren't going anywhere. This is not a house built for

291
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Speaker 1: living in full time. On top of that, it was

292
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Speaker 1: all the market for close to two years and in

293
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Speaker 1: complete disrepair. I did not steal some families home.

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Speaker 3: No one wanted it.

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Speaker 1: The fact that it's a dream home is because I

296
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Speaker 1: spent a year of my life restoring the whole thing myself.

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Speaker 3: Now on to the update.

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Speaker 1: Oh, I heard they were visiting my parents and I

299
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Speaker 1: drove down as well, mostly because I wanted people present

300
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Speaker 1: to witness the conversation. Stuff is about to go down.

301
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Speaker 1: What do you think is gonna happen?

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Speaker 2: Rightly? Fiance is gonna be like she's gonna be the victim,

303
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:27,440
Speaker 2: of course, and say oh, this, this, this, and this,

304
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Speaker 2: make it seem like I'm not a big deal. And

305
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Speaker 2: then ope, he's gonna lay it down and be like, no,

306
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Speaker 2: here the screenshots. This is what she wanted me to do.

307
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Speaker 2: Mm hmm, She's gonna do all that and then cherry

308
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Speaker 2: on top. Oh, by the way, she called my kids rescues.

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00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:41,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, she's gonna say, oh, and also this happened,

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Speaker 1: what do you guys think of that?

311
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Speaker 3: And then she's going to cancel the wedding?

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00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:45,520
Speaker 2: Love it, That's exactly what's gonna happened.

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Speaker 1: I told her and my brother that since my home

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Speaker 1: did not suit her needs and it was stressing her

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Speaker 1: out to the point that she was calling my children names,

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Speaker 1: I no longer felt like I was giving them the

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Speaker 1: appropriate gift by supplying a venue, caterer, and decks. I

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Speaker 1: said that I felt like in my efforts to protect

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Speaker 1: my home, I was limiting their options too much, standing

320
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Speaker 1: in the way of their dream wedding, and as a result,

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Speaker 1: would no longer be hosting. My brother seemed relieved, admitted

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Speaker 1: to not quite wanting a destination wedding and the things

323
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Speaker 1: got a little out of hand during the planning phase.

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Speaker 1: Thanked me for my willingness to help and offer to

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Speaker 1: pay me back for the deposits I'm losing, which I

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Speaker 1: appreciated but declined. His s oh, however, accuse me of

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Speaker 1: being petty and jealous because I'm single and no one

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Speaker 1: wants me.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, she's a crab in the bucket.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, no one's gonna want you after this and going

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Speaker 1: out of my way to cause her stress and ruin

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Speaker 1: her day. She then pointed at my two youngest children,

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Speaker 1: stop stop, and said, you're doing more for strangers than

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Speaker 1: you are your own family. Why why does didn't she

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Speaker 1: quit while she's well, she wasn't ahead. Why doesn't she

336
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Speaker 1: quit while she's you know, already in the ditch. She's

337
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:56,840
Speaker 1: dug and not keep digging straight to hell?

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Speaker 2: What did the kids do?

339
00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:02,720
Speaker 3: They're just like, they're literally just there? What did we do?

340
00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:06,360
Speaker 2: She's like just mad as kids.

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00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,360
Speaker 3: She's like, you won't let me take this house? Is

342
00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:10,559
Speaker 3: my venue? Your kids?

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Speaker 2: That's the last thing you need to say. You don't

344
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Speaker 2: poke a mama bear.

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00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:16,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, come on, I don't know what.

346
00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:21,040
Speaker 1: Also, just like ignoring the fact that this is obviously

347
00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:24,040
Speaker 1: a horrible thing to say to children. I can't believe

348
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:28,160
Speaker 1: she's saying stranger or she's calling Opie's children strangers when

349
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:31,200
Speaker 1: she is effectively the same thing, you know, because she's

350
00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:34,960
Speaker 1: not blood related, and she's also not adopted, you know,

351
00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:38,480
Speaker 1: Opie hasn't there's no actual connection yet. You know, she's

352
00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:41,080
Speaker 1: a fiance, so she's not even illegally you know a

353
00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:42,800
Speaker 1: sister in law, though I don't know what.

354
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Speaker 3: She Yeah, I don't know why she's saying, you know

355
00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:45,840
Speaker 3: what I'm saying.

356
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Speaker 1: I don't know why she's saying she's own family because

357
00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:51,800
Speaker 1: she's not family yet she's not. She's just rude lady

358
00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:54,160
Speaker 1: who keeps insulting this person's children.

359
00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:54,840
Speaker 3: I'm done with this.

360
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:57,800
Speaker 1: The kids are luckily young enough so they didn't catch

361
00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:01,320
Speaker 1: on to this, but my older two did and absolutely shocked.

362
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:02,720
Speaker 3: So were my parents.

363
00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:05,400
Speaker 1: I told her she had all of three seconds to

364
00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:07,600
Speaker 1: get out of my line of sight before I would

365
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:08,560
Speaker 1: be bringing.

366
00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:09,960
Speaker 3: Hell fire down on her.

367
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:12,760
Speaker 1: While instructing my children to leave the room. My father

368
00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:15,320
Speaker 1: stepped in said it would indeed be better for her

369
00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:17,440
Speaker 1: to leave, and told my brother that he was sorry,

370
00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:20,680
Speaker 1: but that this is unacceptable. My brother agreed, took his

371
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:24,240
Speaker 1: family home, and has since called me to apologize and

372
00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:27,080
Speaker 1: to say that the wedding planning has been put on

373
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Speaker 1: hold until she comes to her senses. So thanks for

374
00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:32,960
Speaker 1: the input and help all. I'm happy it didn't end

375
00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:34,000
Speaker 1: up all too dramatic.

376
00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:35,200
Speaker 3: That was pretty dramatic.

377
00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:36,240
Speaker 2: She's a horrible person.

378
00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:38,440
Speaker 1: She's a horrible person, and I hope this brother doesn't

379
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:41,080
Speaker 1: marry her. Mm hmmm, because you can't be saying that

380
00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:42,880
Speaker 1: stuff about another person's child or.

381
00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:44,880
Speaker 2: Children rescues strangers.

382
00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:48,280
Speaker 1: What huh in front of the rest of the family

383
00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:51,200
Speaker 1: who probably have like a very close connection to these children.

384
00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:53,600
Speaker 3: No no, no, no, no, no, no no no.

385
00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:53,920
Speaker 2: Yeah.

386
00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:57,040
Speaker 1: I hope he breaks eye. I hope he prevorces her prevoice.

387
00:15:57,120 --> 00:15:59,520
Speaker 1: I don't like this woman, that's a fact. Yeah, it's

388
00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:00,000
Speaker 1: very clear.

389
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,280
Speaker 3: She's not the ahle Oh, That's what I was gonna say,

390
00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:02,880
Speaker 3: very clear.

391
00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:06,720
Speaker 1: If that wasn't obvious throughout the story, Opie, you're not

392
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:09,480
Speaker 1: the a hole that is your house. You don't know

393
00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:13,400
Speaker 1: it to anyone, especially not a rude fiance and your.

394
00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:15,640
Speaker 3: Brother who doesn't seem like he's really sticking up for you.

395
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,800
Speaker 1: He seems like he's a lot more sensible than his fiance,

396
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:19,920
Speaker 1: but he doesn't seem like he's putting his neck out

397
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:20,360
Speaker 1: for you.

398
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:24,720
Speaker 2: Yeah. Bro's twenty eight. Yeah, fiance's twenty five. Young should

399
00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:26,680
Speaker 2: be acting like she shouldn't be acting like it is

400
00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:30,240
Speaker 2: kind of crazy. Yeah, that the brother putting up with it. Yeah,

401
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,720
Speaker 2: he has apologized for everything she said and done.

402
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, but he's not. I don't know There's only so

403
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,600
Speaker 1: many times you can apologize for a partner or someone

404
00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:41,080
Speaker 1: you would associate to that degree with before it's your fault.

405
00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:42,080
Speaker 2: Yeah.

406
00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:46,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I want to associate with this next story?

407
00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:48,840
Speaker 3: Am I the a hole for telling my stepdad my

408
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,120
Speaker 3: wedding isn't about him? What do you think?

409
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:53,760
Speaker 2: Riley just wants to be a part let him.

410
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:56,480
Speaker 3: He wants you to have his time and the sun.

411
00:16:57,000 --> 00:17:00,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, so affectionate T eighty three zero three says My

412
00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:03,320
Speaker 1: stepdad approached me a few days ago and told me

413
00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:05,800
Speaker 1: he didn't like the direction my wedding was going in.

414
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:09,320
Speaker 1: He's like, you're making a lot of creative choices that

415
00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:10,280
Speaker 1: I just don't agree with.

416
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:10,480
Speaker 2: That.

417
00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:13,199
Speaker 1: He didn't like not being involved as a parent and

418
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,600
Speaker 1: the living dad figure in my life, and he wanted

419
00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:18,680
Speaker 1: me to change things so he would enjoy the wedding more.

420
00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:21,920
Speaker 1: For context, I'm not being given away. We're not doing

421
00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:24,760
Speaker 1: any big dance besides the first dance between the married couple,

422
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:27,160
Speaker 1: and we're not really doing the toast or anything. We're

423
00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:29,720
Speaker 1: also not accepting any offers to pay for the wedding

424
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:32,520
Speaker 1: or give money toward the wedding. Either my fiance or

425
00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:34,800
Speaker 1: I want that kind of wedding, and we've changed a

426
00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:36,919
Speaker 1: few things honestly to work for what we want our

427
00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:39,400
Speaker 1: wedding to be. Seems like they have a very clear view,

428
00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:41,119
Speaker 1: clear vision of what they want.

429
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,160
Speaker 2: To do, and nice and precise.

430
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:44,520
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, they're like.

431
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,320
Speaker 1: We don't need anybody's help. We don't want it to

432
00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:48,760
Speaker 1: be long drawn out. Just quick, we get married, we

433
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:51,639
Speaker 1: have a dance, we're out, we're done. My stepdad, who

434
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:54,120
Speaker 1: came into my life when I was twelve, apparently had

435
00:17:54,119 --> 00:17:56,920
Speaker 1: this vision of what my wedding would be, or more specifically,

436
00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:58,960
Speaker 1: he had this vision of the role he would play

437
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,879
Speaker 1: in my wedding. He never had had any kids, and

438
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:03,360
Speaker 1: when he married my mom, I had already lost my dad,

439
00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:05,520
Speaker 1: so he saw me as his chance of fatherhood. But

440
00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:08,320
Speaker 1: I see him as my mom's spouse more than I

441
00:18:08,359 --> 00:18:09,760
Speaker 1: see him as a parent of mine.

442
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:10,280
Speaker 3: Nice.

443
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:13,879
Speaker 1: I mean, like, I totally understand why op sees it

444
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:16,400
Speaker 1: that way, and it's totally fair for her to see

445
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:17,760
Speaker 1: it that way, but it does kind.

446
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:18,800
Speaker 3: Of suck for the step down.

447
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:21,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, He's like, I see you as a child of mine,

448
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,399
Speaker 1: and she's like, you're kind of just that guy that's

449
00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:29,560
Speaker 1: you know, around my mom not dad. I respect him

450
00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:31,480
Speaker 1: as a good husband and someone who has tried to

451
00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:34,280
Speaker 1: be there for me ride what do you mean tried?

452
00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:36,960
Speaker 1: But if his marriage to my mom was over tomorrow,

453
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:38,960
Speaker 1: I don't think I would stay in touch with him.

454
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,040
Speaker 1: This is something we discussed when I was a teenager,

455
00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:43,240
Speaker 1: and I was honest about where I stood. He was

456
00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:45,679
Speaker 1: honest about what he wanted. The therapist worked with us

457
00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:48,199
Speaker 1: both individually and then together with my mom, and it

458
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:50,439
Speaker 1: was stated clearly that he was not the dad to

459
00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:52,680
Speaker 1: me that he wanted to be. He never stopped believing

460
00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:55,800
Speaker 1: he would get the whole experience. Though this, I feel

461
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:59,280
Speaker 1: really bad for him. I again, he is not owed

462
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:03,040
Speaker 1: a father figure kind of status in Op's life. But

463
00:19:03,119 --> 00:19:05,639
Speaker 1: I do feel bad for him because he just wants

464
00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:06,320
Speaker 1: it so bad.

465
00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:10,119
Speaker 3: He just wants a kid, and he's like, I just

466
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:14,719
Speaker 3: want to, you know, walk you down the aisle, sad.

467
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,680
Speaker 2: You can find another family, Go.

468
00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:19,440
Speaker 3: Find a new one.

469
00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:21,520
Speaker 1: And when he was telling me what he wanted and

470
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:23,679
Speaker 1: how he felt, he made it very clear to me

471
00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:26,560
Speaker 1: that the wedding wasn't what he wanted, wasn't what he enjoyed.

472
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:28,760
Speaker 1: He told me I should be considering his wishes more

473
00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:31,439
Speaker 1: and I told him my wedding isn't about him and

474
00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:34,000
Speaker 1: I will not change my wedding plans to make him happy.

475
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:36,879
Speaker 1: Of Course, he didn't like hearing that, and he started

476
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:39,600
Speaker 1: to tell me again about his feelings, and I reiterated

477
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:41,880
Speaker 1: that my wedding is not about him. This led him

478
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:44,440
Speaker 1: to become angry and telling me I was being juvenile

479
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:46,439
Speaker 1: about it, and him suggesting I was doing this to

480
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:49,080
Speaker 1: spite him so he wouldn't get to enjoy my wedding

481
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:49,879
Speaker 1: or the.

482
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:52,120
Speaker 3: Dream of fatherhood. Am I the a hole?

483
00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:55,399
Speaker 1: You're not the a hole? But again, I just feel

484
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:56,720
Speaker 1: really badly for this guy.

485
00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:58,200
Speaker 3: I don't. I don't think op's a hole.

486
00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:01,560
Speaker 2: Do you disagree rightly to him as a father figure?

487
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:04,240
Speaker 1: Never since you were twelve? I'm trying to find okay,

488
00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:05,440
Speaker 1: I can't actually.

489
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:08,160
Speaker 2: That that's did ye one? Did he put in efforts

490
00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:10,880
Speaker 2: of the relationship or was it you always kept your

491
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:14,280
Speaker 2: distance because he wasn't your actual act in the distance.

492
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:17,000
Speaker 2: I have a friend where their dad died very young,

493
00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:20,040
Speaker 2: and there's a step dad. He's a phenomenal, awesome guy.

494
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:22,879
Speaker 2: I freaking love him, but there is that distance of

495
00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:25,679
Speaker 2: you're not actually my dad. Yeah, I don't see you

496
00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:28,119
Speaker 2: as that. I'll respect you as a you know, my

497
00:20:28,119 --> 00:20:32,040
Speaker 2: mom's husband. I see both sides. Yeah, this is tough though.

498
00:20:32,119 --> 00:20:32,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I.

499
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:35,840
Speaker 1: Also think he shouldn't, you know, expect that he has

500
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:36,959
Speaker 1: a say in the wedding.

501
00:20:37,119 --> 00:20:40,200
Speaker 2: He's not anything, He's his dreams are just going to die.

502
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:40,560
Speaker 3: Yeah.

503
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:41,800
Speaker 1: I do kind of want to read some of the

504
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,520
Speaker 1: comments though, you want to read. I want to know

505
00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:44,359
Speaker 1: what other people are saying.

506
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:46,320
Speaker 2: Okay, those up?

507
00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:49,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, thanks, I actually have it open second Street it now,

508
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:52,800
Speaker 1: so there are some relevant comments. Deleted says not the

509
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:56,320
Speaker 1: a hole wow and titled stepfather, Where does he get

510
00:20:56,359 --> 00:20:59,360
Speaker 1: off telling you how your wedding should revolve around him?

511
00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:01,639
Speaker 3: More? It's not your fault. He never had children of

512
00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:02,040
Speaker 3: his own.

513
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:04,520
Speaker 1: This is your day. This is about your commitment to

514
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:06,840
Speaker 1: the person you love. Yeah, yeah, I get that, and

515
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:09,199
Speaker 1: then comfortable see twenty four to fifty four says not

516
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:09,800
Speaker 1: the a hole.

517
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:12,160
Speaker 3: Your wedding, your choice. Your job is not.

518
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:15,399
Speaker 1: To fulfill your stepdad's expectations through your wedding. What is

519
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:17,680
Speaker 1: your mom stance on this? That is also a good

520
00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:20,879
Speaker 1: point is she does the mom feel like she doesn't

521
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:22,879
Speaker 1: have a big enough place in the wedding or a

522
00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:25,920
Speaker 1: big enough part to play, and wondering if anyone else

523
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,320
Speaker 1: is upset with the way that the wedding is going,

524
00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:31,359
Speaker 1: or if it's just the stepdad, because the stepdad is

525
00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:34,440
Speaker 1: kind of the you know, most removed from the situation,

526
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,320
Speaker 1: like he has the least say out of anyone.

527
00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:38,920
Speaker 2: He does have the least say, and it seems pretty

528
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:41,119
Speaker 2: simple and to the point, so other people may be

529
00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:44,520
Speaker 2: feeling this way. Yeah, if your mom voices this, yeah.

530
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:47,360
Speaker 3: Coldstream Capital says, not the a hole. Tell your mom.

531
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:49,800
Speaker 1: If she doesn't pull her husband into line, then he

532
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:52,720
Speaker 1: can't complain he wasn't invited. I understand why she may

533
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:54,800
Speaker 1: want to keep out of this, but if he keeps

534
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:58,000
Speaker 1: insisting in trying to force his ideas something asked to give,

535
00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:02,159
Speaker 1: it's about you and your fiance, not anyone else. Yeah,

536
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:04,960
Speaker 1: big time. Yeah, that's very true. I think I agree

537
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,960
Speaker 1: with those comments. I still think not the a hole

538
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:10,840
Speaker 1: for op still kind of feel bad for this step

539
00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:11,639
Speaker 1: Yeah that.

540
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:13,280
Speaker 2: Was a shot one chance.

541
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:16,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, I'm wondering if he I'm wondering how much

542
00:22:17,119 --> 00:22:19,919
Speaker 1: he kind of tried in to create a relationship with

543
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,960
Speaker 1: the daughter, or if he just kind of expected that

544
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,400
Speaker 1: there should be one because he was stepped.

545
00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:27,320
Speaker 2: On intersport practices? Did you take her too? Yeah?

546
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:29,480
Speaker 3: How many dance recitals did you go to?

547
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:33,280
Speaker 2: How many weekends did you spend doing something fun with her?

548
00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:36,240
Speaker 1: How many math problems did you help her solve? Those

549
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:38,240
Speaker 1: are the hard hitting questions we have to know.

550
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:40,040
Speaker 2: M But you know what hard hitting question I have

551
00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:42,440
Speaker 2: for you? They're another story? Yeah?

552
00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:44,639
Speaker 1: Am I the a hole for telling the girl my

553
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:49,000
Speaker 1: parents adopted we aren't family and to leave my parents home?

554
00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:53,240
Speaker 2: Whoa yeah, rescue horrible?

555
00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:56,760
Speaker 3: Oh my god. People are really hating on the adopted people.

556
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:56,800
Speaker 1: In the.

557
00:22:58,480 --> 00:22:59,840
Speaker 3: So advanced web.

558
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:03,879
Speaker 1: Thirty two zero two says, So, I have one biological sibling,

559
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,600
Speaker 1: Jay thirty nine, who lives in America from my dad's

560
00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:10,439
Speaker 1: first marriage, and my parents adopted a girl, Ella twenty seven.

561
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:13,680
Speaker 1: Both Ella and I are the same age, twenty seven female.

562
00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:17,000
Speaker 1: There's literally eight months between us our bio's mom. There's

563
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:20,320
Speaker 1: literally eight months between us and our biomoms were friends.

564
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,879
Speaker 1: Ella and I had a good sister relationship growing up,

565
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:26,840
Speaker 1: but around fifteen she started to be a major stinky

566
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:30,080
Speaker 1: lady by pulling the you're not my parents slash sister

567
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:34,160
Speaker 1: card and making life genuinely difficult for everyone. My parents

568
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:37,720
Speaker 1: never lied to her about being adopted nor treated bad. Actually,

569
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:40,240
Speaker 1: looking back, she got treated better than me, especially in

570
00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:41,000
Speaker 1: our teenage years.

571
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:42,720
Speaker 3: It's so some favoritism.

572
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:45,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, she was just like being a teenager. Yeah. I

573
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:47,440
Speaker 2: don't think she actually was being a batch.

574
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, it seems like she was just saying, you're not

575
00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:53,000
Speaker 1: my mom, and she was going through a tough time

576
00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:55,960
Speaker 1: being an adopted child and a family that had other

577
00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:57,080
Speaker 1: you know, bio.

578
00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:58,520
Speaker 2: Children, orphan problems.

579
00:23:59,119 --> 00:23:59,960
Speaker 3: It's so stead.

580
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:03,000
Speaker 1: The minute she turned eighteen, she took her college fund

581
00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:05,760
Speaker 1: and whatever she could steal, then ran to live with

582
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:07,560
Speaker 1: her quote unquote real family.

583
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:11,440
Speaker 2: Oh so the real families yeah still around. Wait wait

584
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:13,480
Speaker 2: wait wait wait, why did she get adopted then?

585
00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:16,280
Speaker 1: I don't know they didn't They implied the parents the

586
00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:18,960
Speaker 1: moms were good friends, but I don't know why they adopted.

587
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:19,639
Speaker 3: We don't know.

588
00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:20,280
Speaker 2: Interesting.

589
00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:22,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, my parents tried to get in contact with her,

590
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:25,200
Speaker 1: but she blocked them and threatened to get police involved

591
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,000
Speaker 1: when they went to her aunt's house to talk to her.

592
00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:29,359
Speaker 1: She was always in contact with her bio mom's family,

593
00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:31,880
Speaker 1: So my parents knew them as very nice people. Okay,

594
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:34,320
Speaker 1: so it seems that she lost her mom but then

595
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:37,720
Speaker 1: went when she turned eighteen, she went to her aunt's house. Okay,

596
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:39,640
Speaker 1: that makes a little bit more sense. Two months later,

597
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:42,159
Speaker 1: on my eighteenth birthday, she sent me a card with

598
00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:44,680
Speaker 1: a long letter saying how she hated us.

599
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:46,680
Speaker 2: Had to get this off my chest real quick.

600
00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:48,040
Speaker 3: On your birthday.

601
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:52,199
Speaker 1: It said, Happy birthday you and only stayed till she

602
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:54,080
Speaker 1: could get her hands on the money she was owed,

603
00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:56,879
Speaker 1: and that she wished us the worst in life, especially

604
00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:59,720
Speaker 1: me because I didn't deserve to have living parents. And

605
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:01,800
Speaker 1: that that was the moment I realized she was never

606
00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:02,399
Speaker 1: my sister.

607
00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:04,600
Speaker 2: Why she's so hurt?

608
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:08,160
Speaker 1: Before I was giving her some leeway because that's kind

609
00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:12,000
Speaker 1: of teenagery stuff to say when you're, you know, also adopted,

610
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:14,760
Speaker 1: dealing with some stuff. Now she's off the hook. I'm

611
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:16,760
Speaker 1: not off the she's not off the UK. She's eighteen,

612
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:18,960
Speaker 1: she's old enough to know better. She shouldn't be zaying

613
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:19,480
Speaker 1: this deaf.

614
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:20,800
Speaker 2: She's still hurt.

615
00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:22,119
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know about that.

616
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:25,800
Speaker 2: Okay. Whenever a traumatic experience happens to a person, they

617
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:28,480
Speaker 2: revert back to the age that I happened to. Don't

618
00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:31,080
Speaker 2: know what age just happened to this person, but I

619
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:34,320
Speaker 2: don't know if they know how to properly get past

620
00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:36,040
Speaker 2: this and she resents the family.

621
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:40,280
Speaker 1: Yeah no, I totally get why, and I think it's explainable.

622
00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:42,920
Speaker 1: I think she should go to therapy. I think it's explainable.

623
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:45,919
Speaker 1: But it's not excusable to behave that way. That's what

624
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:46,280
Speaker 1: I'm saying.

625
00:25:46,359 --> 00:25:48,439
Speaker 2: It's a horrible thing that she did. It's just sad

626
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:50,119
Speaker 2: that it is sad she's doing this.

627
00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:53,680
Speaker 1: Oh, absolutely, yeah, I agreed. We lost dad during COVID.

628
00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:56,560
Speaker 1: Mom tried to get in contact so Ella could say goodbye,

629
00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:59,720
Speaker 1: but no luck. Then in September, Mom passed away due

630
00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:02,840
Speaker 1: to a brain aneurysm. I didn't reach out because I

631
00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:06,919
Speaker 1: didn't give an f about Ellao two parents in the

632
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:07,480
Speaker 1: same year.

633
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:09,119
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

634
00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:11,720
Speaker 1: Ella's aunt and grandmother are still in contact with me,

635
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:15,000
Speaker 1: even attended my parents' funerals. I mentioned to them I

636
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,800
Speaker 1: will be selling my parents home and moving to America

637
00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:18,680
Speaker 1: to be closer to.

638
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:20,480
Speaker 3: Jake and my niece's who's Jake brother.

639
00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:24,359
Speaker 1: Okay, I'll mention Ella legally got herself emancipated from my parents,

640
00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:27,080
Speaker 1: even though her bio and my family begged her not to.

641
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:29,120
Speaker 1: My parents' home is in London, in.

642
00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:29,680
Speaker 3: A good area.

643
00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:31,360
Speaker 1: Like if you look out the window long enough, you'll

644
00:26:31,359 --> 00:26:34,879
Speaker 1: see an important person passed by a car. Who's important,

645
00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:37,720
Speaker 1: like the queen, well, well, not the queen anymore, the king.

646
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:39,400
Speaker 2: Perhaps perhaps the Queen at that time.

647
00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:41,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, the Queen at that time. So I will make

648
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:44,880
Speaker 1: good money from the sale. Ella tried reaching out by email,

649
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:48,520
Speaker 1: calls and third parties. It's obvious she wants money, so

650
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:50,800
Speaker 1: I've ignored her. And she turned up at the house

651
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:54,000
Speaker 1: today asking about the sale, saying that she, as my

652
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:57,239
Speaker 1: sister and my parents' daughter, deserves something out of it.

653
00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:59,240
Speaker 1: I told her she lost all right when she cut

654
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:02,679
Speaker 1: them off. Ella started crying, saying she knows she messed up,

655
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:04,560
Speaker 1: but apparently she met a guy and a group for

656
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:07,879
Speaker 1: adoptees who twisted her mind against not just her family,

657
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:10,280
Speaker 1: but her bio family. She told me she wants to

658
00:27:10,359 --> 00:27:12,680
Speaker 1: leave him, but she has two kids, so she'd need

659
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:15,879
Speaker 1: help financially. She also admitted after he forced her to

660
00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:18,200
Speaker 1: do most things, and at the end she was ashamed

661
00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:20,400
Speaker 1: to reach out to us, and with me moving, her

662
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:24,160
Speaker 1: window of opportunity is closing. And there's a little bit

663
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:24,520
Speaker 1: more to this.

664
00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:24,919
Speaker 3: Story.

665
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:26,960
Speaker 2: But if that was the case, you should have reached

666
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:28,560
Speaker 2: out sooner, way sooner.

667
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:31,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the thing. I totally feel for the sister

668
00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:34,000
Speaker 1: in this case. If this is true, if she has

669
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,399
Speaker 1: two children that she's trying to support and in not

670
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:39,199
Speaker 1: a great situation, but she's cut all of these ties,

671
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:42,199
Speaker 1: she's you know, destroyed all of these relationships, and the

672
00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:44,200
Speaker 1: only time she's coming back is for money, I would

673
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:44,959
Speaker 1: be suspicious.

674
00:27:45,119 --> 00:27:45,439
Speaker 3: Yeah.

675
00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:48,399
Speaker 1: I told her I didn't care for her lies and manipulation.

676
00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:51,320
Speaker 1: I'm not my parents, we aren't family, and to leave

677
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:52,360
Speaker 1: my parents home.

678
00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:54,840
Speaker 3: Before I called the police. She said she made a mistake.

679
00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:57,520
Speaker 1: To please help her because we're sisters, and I just

680
00:27:57,560 --> 00:27:59,879
Speaker 1: screamed at her to leave me because I didn't have

681
00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:02,399
Speaker 1: a sister. My brother thinks it should help her, and

682
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:04,800
Speaker 1: I acted too cruel towards her because I don't know

683
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:06,920
Speaker 1: what it's like to not have both parents growing up.

684
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:09,000
Speaker 1: So now I'm rethinking my decision.

685
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:10,240
Speaker 2: I see where the brother's coming from.

686
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:11,240
Speaker 3: I see where he's coming from.

687
00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:14,160
Speaker 2: He wasn't there, No, he wasn't there. Like, how old

688
00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:15,879
Speaker 2: is I think he's thirty nine.

689
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:19,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, so he's much older. He isn't twelve years old. Yeah,

690
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:20,560
Speaker 3: I think that.

691
00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:24,560
Speaker 1: Again, it is explainable why she's behaving this way, why

692
00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:26,960
Speaker 1: she's reaching out to them now. And I feel bad

693
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:29,640
Speaker 1: for her, but I don't think that OPO's or anything

694
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:33,119
Speaker 1: when she's been treated this way for their entire time

695
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:36,960
Speaker 1: together living together. Yeah, And if the brother wants thinks

696
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:39,400
Speaker 1: op should help, then he should help. He shouldn't put

697
00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:42,480
Speaker 1: it on Ope when op clearly has a very tenuous

698
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:44,520
Speaker 1: relationship with this adopted sister.

699
00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:47,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I hate that. Yeah, I just didn't roll out

700
00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:50,520
Speaker 2: her nice and my prediction. A lot of times, us

701
00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:53,000
Speaker 2: as humans, we expect the best out of people because

702
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:56,520
Speaker 2: that's what we do reality. What's probably gonna happen. If

703
00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:58,400
Speaker 2: op was like, I will give you some money, she's

704
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:01,280
Speaker 2: going to take it, abuse it, use it right, and

705
00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:04,320
Speaker 2: still go down these patterns. Yeah, may have learned that's

706
00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:06,120
Speaker 2: us assuming the right thing out of her. I don't

707
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:08,600
Speaker 2: think I think it was the best decision Opie could

708
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:09,480
Speaker 2: have done. Yeah.

709
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:12,480
Speaker 1: No. We read another story like a day or so

710
00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:15,400
Speaker 1: ago about a father who kept coming to his son

711
00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:18,240
Speaker 1: and asking to you know, asking for more and more money,

712
00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:20,960
Speaker 1: and the son ended up giving like thirty K and

713
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:23,200
Speaker 1: I think, you know, It's always a little bit of

714
00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:27,120
Speaker 1: a risky situation when someone in your family who is

715
00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:30,400
Speaker 1: financially unstable is asking for money over and over.

716
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:32,120
Speaker 2: Again because they don't have a.

717
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:34,080
Speaker 3: Promise of you know, returning it.

718
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:36,640
Speaker 2: Yeah. I feel like that applies with you know, if

719
00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:39,120
Speaker 2: a family member was dealing with drugs and they're asking

720
00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:40,560
Speaker 2: for it and you give it to them. Same thing

721
00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:42,520
Speaker 2: with money, if they don't have a healthy relationship with

722
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:44,760
Speaker 2: money or know how to use it right, you're yeah,

723
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:45,600
Speaker 2: I don't know, just.

724
00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:46,640
Speaker 3: You're just feeding into that.

725
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:47,240
Speaker 2: Yeah.

726
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:50,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you know it can be financially detrimental to

727
00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:52,800
Speaker 1: you like it was for that other guy the story

728
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:53,200
Speaker 1: that we read.

729
00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:56,480
Speaker 2: Because you're trying to move to America. In America maybe cheap.

730
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:58,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh, I forgot about that.

731
00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:01,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, Opie's moving, which is there's one, I mean one

732
00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:03,880
Speaker 1: expensive but also good because it will get you away

733
00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:04,560
Speaker 1: from this situation.

734
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:05,440
Speaker 3: Mm hmm. Yeah.

735
00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:07,360
Speaker 2: We drive a lot, so you're gonna have to get

736
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:07,840
Speaker 2: used to that.

737
00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:08,680
Speaker 3: Yeah.

738
00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:11,240
Speaker 2: Yeah. So with all these European stories, this is a

739
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:11,840
Speaker 2: second one.

740
00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:16,280
Speaker 1: A lot of stories set in London, England. Crazy, something's up,

741
00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:16,800
Speaker 1: Something's up.

742
00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:18,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm about to drive an hour to see someone

743
00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:19,280
Speaker 2: I know.

744
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:21,680
Speaker 1: I actually talk to a lot of Europeans and they

745
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:24,920
Speaker 1: they always think that, you know, thirty minutes. I don't

746
00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:26,640
Speaker 1: know if the early an hour is a long drive,

747
00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:28,440
Speaker 1: and I'm like, or a drive that they wouldn't make.

748
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:31,360
Speaker 2: Yeah. I heard someone say their grandpa was forty five

749
00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:33,640
Speaker 2: minutes away from them and they never see them. Yeah,

750
00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:35,480
Speaker 2: I'm like, what are you talking about. I used to

751
00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:36,920
Speaker 2: drive forty five minutes to school.

752
00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:40,600
Speaker 1: I drive regularly forty five minutes to see my parents, like,

753
00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:45,120
Speaker 1: maybeybe three times a month? Maybe more because I also

754
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:47,400
Speaker 1: have friends who live in that area. M yeah, actually

755
00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:48,640
Speaker 1: way more than three times a month.

756
00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:51,880
Speaker 2: Insane. But we can't like comprehend like walking around.

757
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:54,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh I can't. I was in Europe.

758
00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:56,640
Speaker 2: It's nice walking walk to the grocery store and back.

759
00:30:56,800 --> 00:30:57,040
Speaker 1: Yeah.

760
00:30:57,320 --> 00:30:57,640
Speaker 2: Great.

761
00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:01,320
Speaker 1: Walkability in Europe is right, And if I didn't have

762
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:03,840
Speaker 1: to drive everywhere, I would Yeah, and even the public

763
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:05,280
Speaker 1: transportation is amazing.

764
00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:08,200
Speaker 2: As Americans, I don't think we really need to get

765
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:10,240
Speaker 2: out and travel the world whenever. There's so much beauty

766
00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:10,760
Speaker 2: in America.

767
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:11,400
Speaker 3: That's fair.

768
00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:13,640
Speaker 1: I did enjoy my time, but I will say not

769
00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:16,600
Speaker 1: to offend any Europeans in the comments right now. La

770
00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:19,680
Speaker 1: has better food than everywhere we went to in Europe.

771
00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:22,280
Speaker 3: What, Yeah, I don't don't.

772
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:25,560
Speaker 1: I had some really good meals, I like, I will

773
00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:27,560
Speaker 1: not deny I had some really good meals.

774
00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:29,480
Speaker 3: I could get the same stuff in La.

775
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:32,800
Speaker 2: Yeo, I will say Bali was pretty phenomenal. Bali is

776
00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:34,680
Speaker 2: great food, yeah, because how cheap it was.

777
00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:35,080
Speaker 3: Yeah.

778
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:37,440
Speaker 1: The thing is that when we were traveling around Europe,

779
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:40,680
Speaker 1: trying to get vegetables was so hard. Really, it's so

780
00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:44,640
Speaker 1: hard everywhere. A lot of places, like you go to Italy,

781
00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:48,120
Speaker 1: you're you know, you're eating pasta every day, or pizza

782
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:50,920
Speaker 1: you go to you go to anywhere like Poland, you're

783
00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:54,520
Speaker 1: eating potatoes, or Switzerland, we were eating potatoes, bread and cheese.

784
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:55,800
Speaker 3: Like we were.

785
00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:57,800
Speaker 1: Crying by the end of it, just desperate for a

786
00:31:57,800 --> 00:31:59,680
Speaker 1: fresh veggie. You know, we go to the store, we

787
00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:06,920
Speaker 1: would just by cucumbers. Just we were dying. Sorry, but

788
00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:09,960
Speaker 1: but you guys have way better public transport than us,

789
00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:11,880
Speaker 1: and you're you know, I'd be.

790
00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:16,920
Speaker 2: For food. I'd rather have good food and horrible transportation.

791
00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:19,640
Speaker 1: You guys do have good food. I did have good food.

792
00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:22,280
Speaker 1: I just think that La has better food. And that's

793
00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:24,440
Speaker 1: because it's a mecca. It's a mecca of a bunch

794
00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:25,720
Speaker 1: of different cultures and stuff

795
00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:28,560
Speaker 3: Stories,