1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,840
Speaker 1: Call It what It Is with Jessica Capshaw and Camille Luddington,

2
00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:06,720
Speaker 1: an iHeartRadio podcast.

3
00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:20,079
Speaker 2: Hello, Hello, Hello.

4
00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:23,040
Speaker 3: Hello, Call It Crew, and welcome to another episode of

5
00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:25,960
Speaker 3: Short and Sweet, Sweet.

6
00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:29,600
Speaker 2: Sweet and dives straight into Oh my gosh.

7
00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:31,120
Speaker 1: You all are the gift that keeps on giving. This

8
00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:33,640
Speaker 1: one's all about you. I dedicate this episode to you.

9
00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:36,080
Speaker 3: And by you, she means they call it cruse the

10
00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:40,600
Speaker 3: Call It crew. Because this episode is titled what Jessica,

11
00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:44,159
Speaker 3: Just do It. I'm gonna say it.

12
00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:46,960
Speaker 1: You need to know about this episode is that there's

13
00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:50,960
Speaker 1: not one of these submissions that isn't anonymous.

14
00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:55,000
Speaker 3: I know, I know, and that's amazing.

15
00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:58,800
Speaker 1: And that's why you're and this episode is about keeping

16
00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:00,920
Speaker 1: my dirty little secrets.

17
00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:07,600
Speaker 3: I'll keep you my dirty little secret. Okay, they're all anonymous, yep.

18
00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:09,760
Speaker 1: Because and it's that time of the year where you

19
00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:14,319
Speaker 1: can just you know, unburden yourself. You can just you know,

20
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:18,000
Speaker 1: unload the secrets or confessions. And we asked you to

21
00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:20,880
Speaker 1: and you did not disappoint. I think the best way

22
00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:22,920
Speaker 1: to do this is just to jump right in. There's

23
00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:23,640
Speaker 1: no buffer needed.

24
00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:24,360
Speaker 3: We're just going no.

25
00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:27,040
Speaker 2: I'm starting off with the first one. Are you ready. Yeah.

26
00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:29,480
Speaker 1: In college, I found out my boyfriend was cheating, so

27
00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:31,720
Speaker 1: I collected a box of valuable things from his house,

28
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:35,880
Speaker 1: an xbox, his huge glass, long gold necklace, and video games,

29
00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:37,959
Speaker 1: and I took them to Goodwill and dumped him after.

30
00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:40,120
Speaker 2: He still has no idea to this day.

31
00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:41,800
Speaker 3: I think that might be illegal.

32
00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:47,240
Speaker 2: It's also called karma. Okay, that's what I have to

33
00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:48,360
Speaker 2: say about the next one.

34
00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:51,600
Speaker 3: My senior year of college, I was so hungover from

35
00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:54,200
Speaker 3: a night out early the next morning I could make

36
00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:56,840
Speaker 3: it to the bathroom to vomit. So I threw up

37
00:01:57,400 --> 00:02:01,160
Speaker 3: in a huge planter in our dorm and it's stunk

38
00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:05,280
Speaker 3: for days and I've never told a soul. I still

39
00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:09,560
Speaker 3: think about it and I want to die. That's so gross.

40
00:02:09,919 --> 00:02:11,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's really gross.

41
00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:16,720
Speaker 3: Oh and though honestly better in there than other places.

42
00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:18,800
Speaker 2: Yeah on, like carpet where you really couldn't.

43
00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:19,800
Speaker 3: Yeah.

44
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:24,040
Speaker 2: No, it's just gross. But there's remorse, and that's.

45
00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:26,359
Speaker 3: Why we're here. Hold on, We forget.

46
00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:29,160
Speaker 2: A small part of you that was making good decisions.

47
00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:36,440
Speaker 3: Oh my god. The next one, Oh what you know what?

48
00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:38,679
Speaker 2: This happens more than I think we think.

49
00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:42,480
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, go read it so that they understand.

50
00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:45,880
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, I slept with my fifty year old

51
00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:48,760
Speaker 1: female teacher and I was nineteen at the time.

52
00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:50,480
Speaker 3: That's a problem.

53
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:54,560
Speaker 2: Who Yeah, but it's not illegal.

54
00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:55,800
Speaker 3: It's not illegal.

55
00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:58,720
Speaker 2: But so it's not like a crime. It's just a crime.

56
00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:04,000
Speaker 3: It's just mess and position of power. I mean we could,

57
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:04,640
Speaker 3: we could deep down.

58
00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:08,760
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, no judgment. But wow, that's the secret.

59
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:10,160
Speaker 2: You're going to keep that one secret.

60
00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:14,640
Speaker 3: Yeah. I killed my sister's fish while taking care of

61
00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:17,960
Speaker 3: them when she was on a trip. I overfed them

62
00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:21,240
Speaker 3: and then lied about it when she came home. I

63
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:23,440
Speaker 3: this is interesting to me because I heard the rumor

64
00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:26,920
Speaker 3: that like fish will just eat eat, and then there's

65
00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:31,040
Speaker 3: the myth or maybe fact is that their stomachs explode.

66
00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:36,400
Speaker 3: Oh they can't stop eating. However, my kids, I, you know,

67
00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:38,560
Speaker 3: it's like we'll feed the fish, and Lucas like I

68
00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:40,480
Speaker 3: want to feed the fish. It's like, okay, just a

69
00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:42,800
Speaker 3: little pinch and it's like, you know, a fistful goes in.

70
00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:46,160
Speaker 3: My fish are fine. So like I'm confused, like what

71
00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,520
Speaker 3: do you what did you give them a stake? Like

72
00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:50,480
Speaker 3: I want to know if that's true.

73
00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:51,360
Speaker 2: Hmm.

74
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:55,280
Speaker 3: Anyway, they're dead and nobody knows about it. They're gone.

75
00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:56,280
Speaker 2: Okay.

76
00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:58,920
Speaker 1: I call out sick to work every so often and

77
00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:00,880
Speaker 1: don't tell my husband. So I gonna have dated myself

78
00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:01,400
Speaker 1: at the house.

79
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:11,320
Speaker 3: That's great, that's a good one. Good for you. That shouldn't.

80
00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:13,120
Speaker 3: That doesn't even need to be anonymous. You should be

81
00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:17,800
Speaker 3: proud of that. I would have put my name on that, Okay, couldn't.

82
00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:22,520
Speaker 3: I'm in year what? Yes, I'm in year thirteen and

83
00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:25,120
Speaker 3: I hooked up with my biology teacher on a night

84
00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:26,000
Speaker 3: out recently.

85
00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:29,360
Speaker 2: What is year thirteen? It's not like you're like a

86
00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:30,520
Speaker 2: year past being a senior.

87
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,279
Speaker 3: I think you're still in high school. I think this

88
00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:36,160
Speaker 3: is England is year thirteen? I got a check on this.

89
00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:37,880
Speaker 3: Hang on, now, I'm gonna do a.

90
00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:40,479
Speaker 2: I wonder where they ran into their biology teacher on

91
00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:41,039
Speaker 2: a night out.

92
00:04:41,839 --> 00:04:45,320
Speaker 3: That's what I was thinking. Huh And does an arrest

93
00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:47,320
Speaker 3: need to be made? Questions?

94
00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:50,480
Speaker 2: So I don't know, Okay, okay.

95
00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:53,480
Speaker 1: I lied to my best friend once about something major

96
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:55,880
Speaker 1: and it ended with her trying to fight a person

97
00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:57,320
Speaker 1: that had nothing to do with it.

98
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,839
Speaker 3: That would be hor had to stand by. I would

99
00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:05,400
Speaker 3: feel deep, deep, deep guilt about that one. Sorry, well,

100
00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:12,520
Speaker 3: see you're anonymous. So oh yeah, tricky tricky to My

101
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:17,360
Speaker 3: mom's best friend had a three year affair with my uncle.

102
00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:20,440
Speaker 3: It continued even when my aunt got pregnant. I caught

103
00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:22,200
Speaker 3: them once, but haven't said anything.

104
00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:23,360
Speaker 2: Okay, you know what.

105
00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:25,560
Speaker 3: I know that these are supposed to be salacious and

106
00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:28,000
Speaker 3: I I'm on board with it being, you know, naughty,

107
00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:28,440
Speaker 3: but this.

108
00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:31,200
Speaker 2: Is really this isn't making me sad.

109
00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:33,800
Speaker 3: Moment I do.

110
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:36,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean.

111
00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:37,120
Speaker 3: That was not good.

112
00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:39,719
Speaker 2: Okay, although I have to say, I do have to

113
00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:40,760
Speaker 2: say it.

114
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:43,760
Speaker 1: Never behooves you to be the one that tells anyone, right,

115
00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:45,279
Speaker 1: it's the message killed the messenger.

116
00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:46,880
Speaker 2: It's not like you're going to do anything good.

117
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,240
Speaker 3: I'm gonna tell you what. That's true.

118
00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:51,320
Speaker 2: I know that's true because they.

119
00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:55,760
Speaker 3: Happens, they stay together, but they never want to see

120
00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:57,760
Speaker 3: you again because you were the one that said it.

121
00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:59,680
Speaker 3: Maybe it's an anonymous letter.

122
00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:01,640
Speaker 2: Of like I've thought about that.

123
00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:03,120
Speaker 3: Sally's having a little.

124
00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:05,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, I wanted to uncle Bob. Yeah, yeah, I wanted

125
00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:06,200
Speaker 2: to do that.

126
00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:10,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it's an I think it's anonymous letter time.

127
00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:14,800
Speaker 2: Yep, yep, okay, uh, this is you Okay.

128
00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:18,159
Speaker 1: A close friend of mine befriended this wretched girl, and

129
00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:20,040
Speaker 1: they threw a huge New Year's Eve party at a

130
00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:22,240
Speaker 1: hotel and I wasn't invited. So I called the police

131
00:06:22,279 --> 00:06:23,880
Speaker 1: and tattled on them, and the party ended and they

132
00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:29,360
Speaker 1: had to pay a fine. I'm weirdly okay with that one.

133
00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:31,560
Speaker 3: We support that absolve you of this crime.

134
00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:33,320
Speaker 2: Now we support that one.

135
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:37,960
Speaker 3: Okay. The son of our CEO was forced on me

136
00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:40,920
Speaker 3: to be an intern on my team. I came back

137
00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:44,400
Speaker 3: from a meeting to him watching porn at his cubicle.

138
00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:47,080
Speaker 3: I was so shocked. I just never said a word

139
00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:50,839
Speaker 3: because it was so awkward. Ooh, I would have said

140
00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:53,120
Speaker 3: a word about that, and.

141
00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:56,160
Speaker 1: You would have hell, yeah, But it would have had

142
00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:58,640
Speaker 1: to be an anonymous letter. You're not marching into your

143
00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:02,000
Speaker 1: CEO and saying, hey, your nephew Bob.

144
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:09,520
Speaker 3: You know't call it HR. You would have said, yeah,

145
00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:13,280
Speaker 3: I would have checked on Bob. Bob's been, Bob's at

146
00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:16,600
Speaker 3: the cubicle. Cubicle four, check on him right now, right now,

147
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:18,560
Speaker 3: look at that search history. Okay.

148
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:22,040
Speaker 1: I'm a nurse and while working on the I'm a

149
00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:24,640
Speaker 1: nurse and while working in the ICU, I had gas and.

150
00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:33,000
Speaker 3: Did you know that I was gonna have to be

151
00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:35,040
Speaker 3: this one because.

152
00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:37,960
Speaker 1: It's my kryptonite and I can't talk about it without laughing.

153
00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:40,520
Speaker 3: On ut. This one was meant for you.

154
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:43,480
Speaker 2: Thank Yeah, just do it, okay.

155
00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:44,400
Speaker 3: Wow.

156
00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:46,520
Speaker 1: I'm a nurse and while working in the ICU, I

157
00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:49,760
Speaker 1: had gas and blamed my farts on the intubated pation.

158
00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:57,480
Speaker 3: That is funny and terrible all the same time.

159
00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:01,360
Speaker 1: Also, there's something so radically with like someone laying there

160
00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:03,360
Speaker 1: intimated but the farts just going out.

161
00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:09,920
Speaker 3: Yet, Oh my god, talking.

162
00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:11,400
Speaker 1: About someone who is intimating, because I want to know

163
00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:13,600
Speaker 1: if they're okay now okay.

164
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:17,040
Speaker 3: Oh my god, yes, imagine if they die, You've like

165
00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:22,080
Speaker 3: spread around about them not laughing, my god to call

166
00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:26,840
Speaker 3: it crew are just they're in fine form today? Oh lord.

167
00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:46,040
Speaker 3: I slept with my boss, befriended his wife, and tutored

168
00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:48,960
Speaker 3: his daughter. Not my finest moment. I love the how

169
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:50,200
Speaker 3: it's considered just a moment.

170
00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:53,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a serious of moments.

171
00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:56,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, Anonymous, I can say this pretty.

172
00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:00,960
Speaker 3: I'm not changing, however, does No, I'm not judging.

173
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:01,959
Speaker 2: I'm calling it what it is.

174
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:03,839
Speaker 3: What is it? A little hand? The marks of cradle?

175
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,160
Speaker 2: It's not good.

176
00:09:05,559 --> 00:09:07,360
Speaker 3: Do you don't it's not great. It's not a great.

177
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:08,480
Speaker 2: Look. No, it's not.

178
00:09:08,559 --> 00:09:11,679
Speaker 1: She I don't know if I why, I don't know why.

179
00:09:11,679 --> 00:09:13,960
Speaker 1: I think it's whatever. I know this is not your

180
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,240
Speaker 1: finest moment. Glad you noticed.

181
00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:18,320
Speaker 3: No, no, I mean you're not putting that on your resume,

182
00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:20,160
Speaker 3: are you? No? No?

183
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:21,640
Speaker 2: No, no, Okay.

184
00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:23,839
Speaker 1: In COVID, when we all had to work from home,

185
00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:25,360
Speaker 1: I was one of those people who made a fake

186
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:27,680
Speaker 1: background photo of my home office and took my meetings

187
00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:30,560
Speaker 1: even though I wasn't in the country. We had a

188
00:09:30,559 --> 00:09:33,319
Speaker 1: strict must be home policy. And I said that I

189
00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:34,040
Speaker 1: never got caught.

190
00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:34,920
Speaker 3: That's so smart.

191
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, naughty. She's like, oh my god, that beaches of

192
00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:38,160
Speaker 2: Costa Rica.

193
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:45,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that's amazing. I love it. Okay, this

194
00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:48,280
Speaker 3: is fine. I'm okay with this next one. Actually, I

195
00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:52,240
Speaker 3: licked all the powdered sugar off a box of donuts

196
00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:54,280
Speaker 3: and put them back in the box and watched my

197
00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:58,040
Speaker 3: brothers eat them all. Fine with it, support it, Okay,

198
00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:02,640
Speaker 3: that's what you get for beingdon brother. It is gross, though,

199
00:10:02,679 --> 00:10:03,240
Speaker 3: it's gross.

200
00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:05,800
Speaker 1: Do you remember a long time ago, wasn't there something

201
00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:09,040
Speaker 1: around Ariana Grande licking donuts?

202
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:13,000
Speaker 2: Right? She got in trouble for that. It was on camera.

203
00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:14,640
Speaker 3: She but she went into a.

204
00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:18,240
Speaker 2: Dunkin Donuts or something and she licked some donuts. She

205
00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:19,920
Speaker 2: was she was anonymous.

206
00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:21,599
Speaker 3: Then you know what, she's not doing that on the

207
00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:22,200
Speaker 3: Wicked Tour.

208
00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:24,880
Speaker 2: No, she is not doing that.

209
00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:28,400
Speaker 1: No, oh man, No, she's really funny. By the way,

210
00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:32,000
Speaker 1: on SNL she's been like hosting and she's really funny.

211
00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:34,559
Speaker 2: And she doesn't your favorite. She does Jennifer Coolidge. She

212
00:10:34,559 --> 00:10:35,199
Speaker 2: has an impression.

213
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:37,120
Speaker 3: Person's great impression. It's amazed.

214
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:37,600
Speaker 2: Yeah.

215
00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:38,640
Speaker 3: No, she's very funny.

216
00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:42,800
Speaker 1: Okay, this was years ago, but it's still a secret

217
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:44,680
Speaker 1: between my friends and I to this day. My mom

218
00:10:44,679 --> 00:10:46,439
Speaker 1: and dad got divorced when I was sixteen, and just

219
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,600
Speaker 1: a few months after the divorce, my younger sister told

220
00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:50,560
Speaker 1: me she had suspicions that my dad was cheating on

221
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:52,360
Speaker 1: his new girlfriend, who had just moved in with him

222
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:55,240
Speaker 1: after one month of dating. Our single family friend mentioned

223
00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:56,920
Speaker 1: she saw my dad on a dating app. So, being

224
00:10:56,920 --> 00:10:58,839
Speaker 1: the board seventeen year olds, we were my friend and

225
00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:01,320
Speaker 1: I put her on art detective hats and made a

226
00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:04,480
Speaker 1: fake dating profile. No surprise here, but we found him

227
00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:06,760
Speaker 1: with an hour of searching, and he messaged our account

228
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,760
Speaker 1: within twenty minutes and asked to go on a date

229
00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:11,200
Speaker 1: and for our number. We made sure to ask if

230
00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:14,360
Speaker 1: he was in a relationship and he said no, I'm single.

231
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:19,600
Speaker 3: I need to know more. Where did this go? Do

232
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,160
Speaker 3: you tell Daddy Dues that you've been on the app

233
00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:23,600
Speaker 3: and you trapped him?

234
00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:25,720
Speaker 2: Yeah?

235
00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:31,840
Speaker 3: Woow? I mean who is to be trusted? I mean,

236
00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:33,600
Speaker 3: I don't know. I can't see my sister and I

237
00:11:33,679 --> 00:11:38,040
Speaker 3: doing something like this. I support this one. I mean

238
00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:44,480
Speaker 3: I think it's dark humor, but it's humor. This is

239
00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:47,480
Speaker 3: why I love the crew, because they're just willing to

240
00:11:47,559 --> 00:11:49,560
Speaker 3: tell us even if it's, like, you know what, this

241
00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:53,880
Speaker 3: makes me kind of look crazy, and they still, yeah,

242
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:56,640
Speaker 3: they give it. They give us the goods. Okay. When

243
00:11:56,800 --> 00:12:00,000
Speaker 3: I first got married to my now husband, happy birthday

244
00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:02,880
Speaker 3: card arrived at the house from his ex girlfriend. I

245
00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:05,560
Speaker 3: threw it in the trash and never told him. I

246
00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:08,480
Speaker 3: am fam with that. I finally except I think it

247
00:12:08,559 --> 00:12:09,240
Speaker 3: might be illegal?

248
00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:11,160
Speaker 2: Yeah right, whatever?

249
00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:15,800
Speaker 3: The mail open someone else's mail? Ye, So how does

250
00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:18,360
Speaker 3: she know it's from my girlfriend ex girlfriend? Well, there's

251
00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:21,480
Speaker 3: a return to address, no returning address. You put your

252
00:12:21,559 --> 00:12:25,679
Speaker 3: name and return address on things yeah, that's okay. If

253
00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:28,560
Speaker 3: it gets accidentally, you know, a little coffee spilled on it,

254
00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:32,080
Speaker 3: and then you throw it away set fire to could

255
00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:33,120
Speaker 3: be illegal. Tho, I'll look it up.

256
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:37,240
Speaker 2: All right.

257
00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:39,439
Speaker 3: You know how if you shop at Nordstrom his rack,

258
00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:42,320
Speaker 3: you can accumulate points and discounts. I still use my

259
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,800
Speaker 3: ex's number email and whenever I go, I take his

260
00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:47,320
Speaker 3: ten to twenty dollars discount based off his purchases and

261
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:48,280
Speaker 3: use them for myself.

262
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:50,320
Speaker 2: Smart smart person.

263
00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:51,520
Speaker 3: Wow.

264
00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:56,840
Speaker 1: Okay, So whether that was naughty or nice, it's a

265
00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:57,439
Speaker 1: lot of not.

266
00:12:57,679 --> 00:13:00,199
Speaker 3: There's a lot Listen, we're learning to call it crew.

267
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:02,839
Speaker 3: There's a lot of people on Santa's Naughty List this year.

268
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:06,640
Speaker 3: I know it's okay, we've all been, but hopefully this

269
00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:09,640
Speaker 3: has unburdened you and and our calling out what it

270
00:13:09,679 --> 00:13:15,640
Speaker 3: is has made you hope for a brighter, less criminal future.

271
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:20,640
Speaker 2: And we're we're happy to be a part of that

272
00:13:20,679 --> 00:13:28,240
Speaker 2: process for you. So that's really I got for you, and.

273
00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:32,280
Speaker 3: I with you. It cracks me use with you, it

274
00:13:32,559 --> 00:13:36,200
Speaker 3: cracks me up. It's okay, we're all on the naughty List.

275
00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:40,840
Speaker 3: We're all gonnah gosh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, And uh

276
00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:43,640
Speaker 3: but I think that we keep saying this. I think

277
00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:47,240
Speaker 3: we need to hear more. Yeah, I mean it's a gift.

278
00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:48,600
Speaker 3: I keep saying this.

279
00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:50,160
Speaker 2: It really is the gift that keeps on giving.

280
00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:53,200
Speaker 3: For New Years, we need people to unburden themselves more.

281
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:57,120
Speaker 3: I think right before this, yes, New Year's resolution.

282
00:13:57,640 --> 00:14:00,360
Speaker 1: Sometimes I get great pleasure in because it and these

283
00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:03,560
Speaker 1: were all anonymous. I get great pleasure in imagining. I

284
00:14:03,559 --> 00:14:07,520
Speaker 1: have an active imagination people who listen to this podcast,

285
00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:10,080
Speaker 1: like on a run or you know, sitting by the

286
00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:14,000
Speaker 1: ocean or on their commute to work or whatever, all

287
00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:17,560
Speaker 1: of a sudden hearing us read their submission.

288
00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:24,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, being like, yeah, yeah, it's me, it's happening.

289
00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:25,160
Speaker 2: I used to do that.

290
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:26,640
Speaker 1: I used to actually, I used to call it a

291
00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:31,760
Speaker 1: kiss FM in Los Angeles where Ryan Seacrest lives, and

292
00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:33,720
Speaker 1: I would I would just hope to be have my

293
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:36,200
Speaker 1: voice on the radio. Really Yeah, you'd have a call

294
00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:38,680
Speaker 1: in or you would like, yeah, there'd be contest contest

295
00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:41,240
Speaker 1: to win something, or you'd call in with an embarrassing

296
00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:44,280
Speaker 1: story or you know that kind of thing. And yeah,

297
00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:48,160
Speaker 1: I definitely did that, Leo with me.

298
00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:52,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love that. Sure, thank you guys for being

299
00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:56,960
Speaker 3: so funny, the best, the best.

300
00:14:57,080 --> 00:15:10,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's call it the end the episode