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Speaker 1: This is Cowboy Sam and this is Eh John. And

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Speaker 1: we've last owed in some amazing stories for y'all the

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime podcasts. But before that we got a wrangle,

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Speaker 1: a quick little two minute out break from those bucking

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Speaker 1: sponsors we bucking love so much either paid us the

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Speaker 1: bucks to help this show stay alive.

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Speaker 2: My mom's new fiance wants me to call him dad,

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Speaker 2: but it's never gonna happen.

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Speaker 1: You're not my dad. You're not my dad.

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Speaker 2: Please buckle in because this is all so weird. I'm

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Speaker 2: a thirty five year old man. And for some backstory,

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Speaker 2: my dad passed away when I was nineteen, leaving my

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Speaker 2: mom with me and my two siblings. I'm the oldest.

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Speaker 2: It took some time, but eventually my mom started dating again.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user throw our a

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Speaker 2: son of sands on the r slash Okay Storytime Separate,

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Speaker 2: so we don't live together per se. Put our house

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Speaker 2: is back onto each other and have a gate. So

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Speaker 2: it's pretty common for her to offer to do my

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Speaker 2: laundry or me just go over for dinner, or go

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Speaker 2: look after our dog. That kind of stuff, all right,

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Speaker 2: Plus me and my siblings go over there for dinner

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Speaker 2: every other Friday night or so. A bit after she started.

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Speaker 2: The men she's been dating have been getting younger and younger,

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Speaker 2: and I've never had a problem with them. She's been

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Speaker 2: very open to me and my siblings that she wants

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Speaker 2: to get married again, and we've always been supportive, at

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Speaker 2: least after the initial shocks. Lol. The latest guy is

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Speaker 2: by far the most serious, and they've been dating since

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Speaker 2: around last June, per se. He proposed at the start

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Speaker 2: of autumn, and they want to get married next summer.

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Speaker 1: Oh again.

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Speaker 2: Me and my siblings are fine with this because it's

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Speaker 2: her life and we trust him. He's a nice guy

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Speaker 2: and they clearly love each other.

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Speaker 1: That is wild, though, to get married like it's that's

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Speaker 1: a rush. That's three months, four months, four months June

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Speaker 1: to the beginning of autumn is like three or four months.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, keep in mind, keep in mind this op is

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Speaker 2: thirty five.

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Speaker 1: How is this guy?

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Speaker 2: We're gonna find out. But anyway, so long and short

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Speaker 2: is this weekend. Her fiance let's call him Phil, calls

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Speaker 2: me and me if I could come over. I say, yeah, sure,

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Speaker 2: I'll be over after work, and I assume he just

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Speaker 2: needed some help with do it yourself stuff. When I

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Speaker 2: get over there, he calls me sport.

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Speaker 1: Ooha is the great gats Here comes Jay Gatsby.

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Speaker 2: I should mention this is something he does to me

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Speaker 2: and my little brother, calling us things like kid sport scout,

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Speaker 2: little buddy, or my personal favorite, calling us red and

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Speaker 2: blue seemingly out of nowhere. I think Op doesn't like that.

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Speaker 1: I mean out of all of them. I feel like

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Speaker 1: the Red Blues uls actually Rhadam Blues got sick. That's sick.

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Speaker 2: My brother is thirty, by the way. He tried it

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Speaker 2: with my little sister, who by the way is twenty eight,

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Speaker 2: and called her princess once, but he stopped when she

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Speaker 2: just stared at him.

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Speaker 1: Yes, just complete dead eyes.

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Speaker 2: Just don't don't do that. That's not happening. So the

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Speaker 2: thing with Bill is that he reminds me a lot

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Speaker 2: of Charlie Day's character in Horrible Bosses, and that his

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Speaker 2: sole ambition has always been to meet a girl, get married,

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Speaker 2: and have a family. Okay, okay. When he told me

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Speaker 2: and my brother this, my brother made some joke about

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Speaker 2: how maybe are Mom's going to come short on the

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Speaker 2: last part, and he got very upset. But they made

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Speaker 2: up after anyway. So I go around and ask if

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Speaker 2: my mom's around. He says no, it's just him, and

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Speaker 2: that we really need to talk man to man. Oh boy,

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Speaker 2: I want an age.

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Speaker 1: Where's the age? We need an age?

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Speaker 2: I need a number here. I say sure, and he

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Speaker 2: starts talking about how he's always wanted to be a father, etc.

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Speaker 2: And raise a son to call his own. He drops

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Speaker 2: this bombshell by saying, now, I know I can never

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Speaker 2: replace your father, the man who made you, but it

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Speaker 2: would mean the world to me if you could call

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Speaker 2: me dad.

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Speaker 1: I'll admit it.

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Speaker 2: I snickered a little, and then I knew he was

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Speaker 2: serious because he looked like he was about to.

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Speaker 1: Cry, and he didn't drop it either.

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Speaker 2: I asked if he really meant it, and he got

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Speaker 2: really emotional and started talking about what it means to

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Speaker 2: be a man and how his purpose is to have

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Speaker 2: and provide for a family, and he wants me and

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Speaker 2: my siblings to be a part of that family. He

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Speaker 2: reiterated he'll never replace my father, and this did rub

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Speaker 2: me the wrong way a bit, but he's ready to

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Speaker 2: step up and be my dad and provide for and

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Speaker 2: protect me and my siblings. This is really cute.

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Speaker 1: I don't know older you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah he's thirty five. Oh he is thirty five. I

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Speaker 2: want to know how old Philip is?

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Speaker 1: Older you Phil? But again, this is this.

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Speaker 2: Is coming from like a place of like heartfields trying.

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Speaker 1: I guess he's being Look, if we could say one

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Speaker 1: thing about Phil, he's being emotionally vulnerable. This is kind

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Speaker 1: and you know that takes a certain level of maturity. Listen.

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Speaker 2: You know this kind of reminded me of the Field

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Speaker 2: to Field of Dreams, where it's like, hey, you want

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Speaker 2: to have a catch dad. And I just sat there thinking, dude,

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Speaker 2: I'm a decade older than you and I live in

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Speaker 2: a separate house.

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Speaker 1: So Phil's twenty five, I don't know. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I

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Speaker 1: don't know. We don't we don't know, we don't know.

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Speaker 1: Maybe maybe he's just a little Maybe he's just like

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Speaker 1: a little bit. I'm gonna take that as that's he's

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Speaker 1: twenty five, a decade old. Okay, thirty five minus ten

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Speaker 1: is twenty five.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I know, I get it. But maybe he's just

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Speaker 2: exaggerating it.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, dude, that's got that's why this is

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Speaker 1: so cringey?

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Speaker 2: Oh weird, this is getting a little interesting. I mean,

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Speaker 2: it just is just a number, right, I don't need

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Speaker 2: providing for And even if I did, I don't think

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Speaker 2: a guy a third of my age who works part

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Speaker 2: time about the hardware store and is into collecting manga

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Speaker 2: is the man to do it. Okay, what does the

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Speaker 2: manga have to do?

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Speaker 3: Hey?

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Speaker 2: Hey, hey, hey, now hey, now hey hey, now, well,

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Speaker 2: don't dream it's over to.

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Speaker 1: Be honest, though, you're right, I wouldn't bet on that situation.

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Speaker 1: You know what. Wait, actually, Op's totally right because he

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Speaker 1: just call us out. I'm also not ready to be

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Speaker 1: your dad. I'm sorry.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, so you're right, no offense if you're into that,

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Speaker 2: loll Just I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I was a bit taken, aback. I was in shock.

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Speaker 1: I was in shock.

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Speaker 2: So I just said okay, and he gets emotional again,

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Speaker 2: but in a happy way, talking about how he wants

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Speaker 2: to go camping or go to a baseball game. I

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Speaker 2: don't even like baseball lmao, and how he's goined the

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Speaker 2: lines this year, and how he wants to bring me

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Speaker 2: into it into it too as his boy, which just

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Speaker 2: to just feels surreal, even more so as I'm a shriner.

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Speaker 2: So all this talk of service and charity isn't the

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Speaker 2: brag he thinks it is, because again, dude.

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Speaker 1: What Yeah, yeah, he's like you're trying to like a

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Speaker 1: horrible brag on like being charitable. That's literally my whole.

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Speaker 2: Thing, Like, that's what I've been doing, but longer than

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Speaker 2: you have, buddy, Yeah, quite literally, because again I'm ten

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Speaker 2: years older than this guy. I think he's actually ten

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Speaker 2: years old.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he's twenty. This guy's twenty five years old. This

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Speaker 1: is telling a grown man who's ten years older than

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Speaker 1: him he will be he is son, I'll be your father. Now,

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Speaker 1: you know what. I have to take back everything I

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Speaker 1: said about this guy being emotionally mature, because clearly he's not.

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Speaker 1: He's not well.

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Speaker 2: I ended it by just saying this has gotten a

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Speaker 2: bit too weird, and I was going home.

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Speaker 1: This is a little bit weird, Phil, Yeah, honestly, that's

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Speaker 1: the best move.

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Speaker 2: He got very upset and I left. Called my brother

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Speaker 2: and he agreed it sounded weird as f Later my

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Speaker 2: mom called me and she wasn't disappointed, but admitted it

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Speaker 2: made him very upset and depressed. I told her that

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Speaker 2: if he's embarrassed, he doesn't need to be. I get

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Speaker 2: he's excited about the marriage and we can just laugh

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Speaker 2: this off as a funny story. She then said that

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Speaker 2: wasn't what he was upset about. He and she a

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Speaker 2: bit as well, is upset about the fact that he

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Speaker 2: poured his heart out and I rejected him. She said, yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's a bit kooky, but this is how he proves

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Speaker 2: to himself he's a man. And I guess I was

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Speaker 2: a bit angry, and I said something like, first off,

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Speaker 2: it's not my job to certify what's between his legs

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Speaker 2: and his and second, this doesn't prove he's a man.

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Speaker 2: It just proves he's a nut job.

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Speaker 1: I mean, like low key.

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Speaker 2: He's just trying to be sentimental. And I don't know,

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Speaker 2: I think it is coming from again, it's very heartfelt,

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Speaker 2: Like I said.

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Speaker 1: Nah, there's something. I mean, sure it's heartfelt, but you're

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Speaker 1: like completely detached from reality like this man to try

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Speaker 1: to pull this right now, that sets not not normal.

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Speaker 2: I apologized immediately, but she said she didn't want to

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Speaker 2: hear it and hung up. She called back ten minutes

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Speaker 2: later and we apologized, and she begged me just to

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Speaker 2: go along with it until he has some kids to

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Speaker 2: call his own. No. Oh, no, see this is that's

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Speaker 2: also weirder.

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Speaker 1: Why are we doing this? What? How does how does

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Speaker 1: Op's mom not have the emotional maturity to be able

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Speaker 1: to tell her own husband like, Hey, the world, hey

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Speaker 1: guess what? The world doesn't actually bend to you at

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Speaker 1: all times?

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Speaker 2: This is very weird. This is it out now I

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Speaker 2: can get I can see this is weird at AF.

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Speaker 2: I won't go too much into details here, but she

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Speaker 2: sort of let it slip that he planned to try

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Speaker 2: IVF treatment because she's not ready to give up on

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Speaker 2: being a mom just yet. And while uh, and while

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Speaker 2: I have my own thoughts about whether or not that's

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Speaker 2: a good idea, I'm not here to litigate on that.

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Speaker 2: Good Yeah, we finished up fine, and I reiterated i'd

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Speaker 2: support her, and she agreed that it was definitely a

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Speaker 2: stressful situation for me, but begged me to at least

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Speaker 2: think about it, which leads me to hear I did

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Speaker 2: think it over. And obviously I'm going to say, No,

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Speaker 2: I had a dad and he passed away. Rip dad.

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Speaker 2: And that's the only dad I've ever needed, I've ever wanted,

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Speaker 2: and I'll ever bestow that title on I'm not asking

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Speaker 2: if someone's unreasonable or what I should do, more so

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Speaker 2: what I should say. This clearly means a lot to

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Speaker 2: him for some reason, and I deeply love my mom,

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Speaker 2: so I want to try and minimize the damage, especially

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Speaker 2: as we're still so involving each other's lives and they

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Speaker 2: live behind me. How can I make it clear to

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Speaker 2: them as painlessly as possible that I think this is

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Speaker 2: weird and borderline offensive. I really don't want to rip

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Speaker 2: the band aid off because I fear what it might

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Speaker 2: do to the family. And there's an edit. Showed my

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Speaker 2: brother the post and he laughed so hard he started

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Speaker 2: coughing lol. Then said we should call him doctor Phil

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Speaker 2: and each other blue and Red, so swap the nicknames

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Speaker 2: he gave us around thoughts.

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Speaker 1: My thoughts are honestly red and blue. That's actually such

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Speaker 1: a cool nickname. We look at our backgrounds and you're

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Speaker 1: read edit too.

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Speaker 2: As people were asking, he has no access to my

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Speaker 2: mom's money or anything like that. She rents the house

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Speaker 2: and it came pre furnished and otherwise has no real assets.

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Speaker 2: She doesn't make a lot of money anyway, so there's

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Speaker 2: no monetary motive we can think of, and there is

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Speaker 2: an update.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so I think we've talked.

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Speaker 2: I think we said it enough where it's a little weird, but.

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Speaker 1: I like that what he's asking for his I already

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Speaker 1: know I'm saying no, Yeah, but how he should? How

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Speaker 1: do I say no? And it's like, there's you know,

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Speaker 1: you have to be gentle, you gotta be down, just

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Speaker 1: have to be firm as well.

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Speaker 2: Especially with Phil pouring his hear out, heart out, and

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Speaker 2: you can see how emotional he's trying to just be like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I want to be a dad.

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Speaker 1: Clearly he just really is hung up. He wants to

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Speaker 1: be a dad. Right, you can let him down gently,

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Speaker 1: a little gentler, yeah, but and start with moving with like, hey,

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Speaker 1: I actually I find it really touching that you felt

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Speaker 1: you could be that open and vulnerable with me. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and that I really appreciate that. And I you know, platitudes.

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Speaker 1: I'm glad. I'd be happy to see my mom in

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Speaker 1: a relationship with someone, and that's that's great.

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Speaker 2: And I think gets that. I think Opie's like, I

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Speaker 2: get the mom's happy. Great, but just but he's not

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Speaker 2: my dad. He's literally not my dad original post and

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Speaker 2: slightly amended the title for clarity. Anyway, so I told

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Speaker 2: both my siblings and we agreed. We collectively put our

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Speaker 2: foot down with Phil at the next family dinner next week,

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Speaker 2: especially after an incident where Phil referred to my brother

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Speaker 2: as sport and asked him if he wanted to go

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Speaker 2: see a baseball game with him.

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Speaker 1: Why is he?

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Speaker 2: Like?

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Speaker 1: Why is he from the fifties? Though?

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Speaker 3: Too?

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Speaker 1: Like, what is that good a sport?

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Speaker 2: Come on, let's go watch a game, Sport, get that

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Speaker 2: baseball game.

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Speaker 1: Let's go watch mickey menwo. That's a beautiful day here

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Speaker 1: at Dodger Stadium.

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Speaker 2: Admittedly, I was a bit spurred on by what you

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Speaker 2: all said, and I got involved picking him back with

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Speaker 2: the oh no tickets for me, daddy?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, I mean if he won't see the lie,

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Speaker 1: maybe you gotta shine it in his eyes a little bit.

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Speaker 1: Oh no tickets for me, daddy.

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Speaker 2: And my brother responded with Daddy wants me?

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Speaker 1: Oh god, this is so.

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Speaker 2: My brother responded with Daddy wants me all to himself hmmm,

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Speaker 2: and Phil took a few minutes to respond before saying

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Speaker 2: he was shocked, speechless, and disgusted.

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Speaker 1: Now you're just toying with the man. I don't care, though.

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Speaker 1: That's hilarious. I don't know. I think at that point,

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Speaker 1: I mean, okay, to be fair, you should try to

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Speaker 1: be gentle about it. First. Yeah, got, and then if

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Speaker 1: he still refuses, that's when you pull this. Yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: when you pulled up. All right, I'll make you uncomfortable.

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Speaker 2: I think Op is going way too, way too direct

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Speaker 2: with this. I think you need to be a little

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Speaker 2: bit pump the.

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Speaker 1: Brakes to be honest.

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Speaker 2: Though.

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Speaker 1: It's like with your sibling. This is so funny.

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Speaker 2: Phil then messaged me in private to say he was

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Speaker 2: utterly appalled and that he'd never disrespect his own father

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Speaker 2: the way you boys did. I kind of lost it

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Speaker 2: at this point and said, right, that's because you're not

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Speaker 2: my father, Phil, you're twenty five year old manchild dating

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Speaker 2: my mother. You have no right to my respect, especially

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Speaker 2: not to the respect of father. Gets dude, this.

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Speaker 1: Is like again, and if I'm in his shoes, my

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Speaker 1: father has passed. And then this guy after we're literally

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Speaker 1: just joking around, which if my mom's dating is someone

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Speaker 1: who's twenty five, I would never be able to joke

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Speaker 1: around and joke about. I would joke about it, but

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Speaker 1: like we better be able to or else gonna be

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Speaker 1: too weird. And for him to then turn around and

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Speaker 1: be like, you shouldn't talk to your father that way.

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Speaker 1: It's like knock knock, is anyone there? You are not

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Speaker 1: our dad.

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Speaker 2: I immediately said sorry, but then blocked his number and

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Speaker 2: left the group chat. Apparently he sent a similar thing

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Speaker 2: to my brother, who responded with more daddy stuff, and

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Speaker 2: Phil walcked him well that aside, I don't think that

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Speaker 2: family dinner is going ahead. After the original posts blew up,

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Speaker 2: it seems someone from his lines called found it and

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Speaker 2: reported to their chair or whatever, and Phil has either

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Speaker 2: been expelled or resigned, or in the process of one

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Speaker 2: of the two. He has removed nearly all mentions of

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Speaker 2: the Lions from his social media and no longer mentions

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Speaker 2: being a member, with this last post on it being

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Speaker 2: some kind of cryptic goodbye post where he kind of

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00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:12,720
Speaker 2: drones on about what it means to be a man,

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Speaker 2: being a man in the modern day and the duty

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Speaker 2: of fatherhood bestowed on all men at birth. Really weird crap? Okay,

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Speaker 2: now now FIL's weird.

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Speaker 3: Now feels weird.

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Speaker 1: No, I was trying to get like the heartfelt stuff.

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Speaker 2: But Phil is now like there's this notion, like there's

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Speaker 2: this like wire in his head.

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Speaker 1: He's like fatherhood.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, no, clear fatherhood.

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Speaker 1: He's super super hung up on far and like that's

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Speaker 1: his that's his identity. But he doesn't have a kid yet.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he's not a kid, chues that's got to be

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Speaker 2: well again, that might stem from his childhood. Well yeah,

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Speaker 2: I mean, but we can't assume.

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Speaker 1: Well, we're all products of our upbringing in a way.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: My mom called me half in a panic, half at

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Speaker 2: her age after about the stuff I've been telling about Phil,

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Speaker 2: before breaking down and saying we need to meet, which

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Speaker 2: we did and got my brother to go over to

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Speaker 2: I know he has temporarily moved back in with his

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Speaker 2: parents in the next town over, but from my understanding,

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Speaker 2: they still want to go ahead with the wedding.

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Speaker 1: Wait a minute, Wait a minute, your husband moved back

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Speaker 1: in with his.

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Speaker 2: Parents, oh me, But I think that's more so because

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00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:21,040
Speaker 2: they've already spent money on it. When she said she

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Speaker 2: was determined to have more kids plural, my brother did

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Speaker 2: step up and asked if she really thought that was

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Speaker 2: a good idea at her age, and I pointed out

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Speaker 2: that assuming she had the baby next year and she

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Speaker 2: lived to eighty, they still wouldn't have finished college.

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Speaker 1: Oh oh oh, I think this is a tail of

355
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Speaker 1: two cities here.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. She just stammered on about how people live longer

357
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Speaker 2: these days before breaking down, crying and admitting she's not

358
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Speaker 2: ready to give up on mothering due to some deep

359
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Speaker 2: seated trauma and fears about the family breaking apart that

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Speaker 2: I won't go into for her, won't go into for

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Speaker 2: her sake. When we reassured her that we weren't going anywhere,

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00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:57,920
Speaker 2: she calmed down and we had a very good, honest

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Speaker 2: conversation where she agreed to drop the IVF stuff on

364
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:03,320
Speaker 2: the grounds that it'd be too expensive and unlikely to

365
00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:07,680
Speaker 2: get greenlit. But she's still adamant and scientifically possible and

366
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:10,600
Speaker 2: should be still allowed to do it from an ethical

367
00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:13,800
Speaker 2: standpoint because she has to win that argument, and has

368
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Speaker 2: agreed to look into fostering instead.

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Speaker 1: Okay, thank god, Yes, that's what I was gonna say.

370
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Speaker 2: Me and my brother highly doubt anything will come up

371
00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:22,400
Speaker 2: of that, so we're not that worried anymore. The very

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Speaker 2: good news is she's also agreed to look into therapy.

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Speaker 2: Slash psychiatric help to deal with her trauma, and we've

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Speaker 2: helped her get in touch with a nice lady in

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Speaker 2: town to unpack all this in a more healthy way.

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Speaker 1: Oh what a nice lady.

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00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:37,200
Speaker 2: Good. So at least one person is getting the help

378
00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:40,400
Speaker 2: they need. I have no idea what's happened with Phil

379
00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:42,960
Speaker 2: or what's going to happen with him, but I did

380
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:44,800
Speaker 2: make it clear to my mom that he is not

381
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Speaker 2: my dad. He's not even my stepdad. I'm not a kid,

382
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:51,320
Speaker 2: I'm a I'm a thirty five year old adult.

383
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:54,720
Speaker 1: I don't understand why this point, Why does this point

384
00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:58,040
Speaker 1: still need to be hammered home? It should have been

385
00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:01,800
Speaker 1: from the first time he was like, Nope, not happening.

386
00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:04,720
Speaker 1: Should have dropped it. This is unbelievable.

387
00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:08,120
Speaker 2: Phil's never going to be either one outside of legal effery.

388
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:11,359
Speaker 2: She relented pretty quickly. I think she's finally broken out

389
00:17:11,359 --> 00:17:13,159
Speaker 2: of her shell at least, and we agree that if

390
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,439
Speaker 2: things go ahead, that's going to be a huge red line,

391
00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:17,560
Speaker 2: though I don't know if he'll want to be friends

392
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:18,920
Speaker 2: with me after all of this.

393
00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:20,240
Speaker 1: Anyway.

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Speaker 2: Thanks for the help on the original post. Y'all edit.

395
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:25,800
Speaker 2: Bit of an update as I can't respond to everybody,

396
00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:27,080
Speaker 2: but I think the marriage is all.

397
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:30,640
Speaker 1: Whoa who'd have thought? Sometimes when your bride moves back

398
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:33,479
Speaker 1: in with his parents right before the wedding, that might

399
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:35,000
Speaker 1: be a sign it's not time.

400
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:38,679
Speaker 2: Phil has gone a wall again and has had a

401
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:41,800
Speaker 2: huge argument with his family and they've demanded he call

402
00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:44,280
Speaker 2: off the wedding and date people his own age.

403
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:48,760
Speaker 1: Broh, no way when your own parents. His parents were like,

404
00:17:49,119 --> 00:17:55,040
Speaker 1: we're not You're not allowed to get married when your

405
00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:57,720
Speaker 1: own parents are still parenting you out there. You're not

406
00:17:57,760 --> 00:18:02,040
Speaker 1: ready to be a parent. I can't make heads or

407
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,560
Speaker 1: tails of this, dude. It's so weird.

408
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:06,720
Speaker 2: This apparently made him snap, But you know, Dakota, we

409
00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:09,320
Speaker 2: can make everyone here snap like this. Oh yeah yeah,

410
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:12,080
Speaker 2: do some snaps. Do some like jazz snaps.

411
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:13,960
Speaker 1: Get Snappy live every.

412
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:20,640
Speaker 2: Weekday at three pm PST. You can join us on YouTube, Twitch, TikTok, Facebook,

413
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:24,760
Speaker 2: Just join us our profile. I think this is the

414
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:25,960
Speaker 2: best decision for everyone.

415
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:30,760
Speaker 1: I think Phil's parents made a great decision by forbidding

416
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:33,520
Speaker 1: him to get getting married to an older woman.

417
00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:36,240
Speaker 2: Phil has a lot of things to sort out. One

418
00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:39,080
Speaker 2: thousand percent. Again, at the very beginning, I was defending

419
00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:41,800
Speaker 2: Philip because he was being very like heartfelt in like.

420
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:45,600
Speaker 2: But then when he posted that thing about being a fatherhood, it's.

421
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:49,119
Speaker 1: Like it's ingrained in our biology. Yeah, that responsibility bestowed

422
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:49,520
Speaker 1: upon us.

423
00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:51,959
Speaker 2: He's got some notion to hold on. The father got

424
00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:52,280
Speaker 2: a little bit.

425
00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:54,840
Speaker 1: I have a hang up there, So Phil might need

426
00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:57,880
Speaker 1: a little therapy to figure out exactly why that is

427
00:18:57,960 --> 00:18:59,879
Speaker 1: for him, me and my mom.

428
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:02,240
Speaker 2: I've met his mom and older brother who said Phil

429
00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:05,280
Speaker 2: is very insecure around girls his own age and has

430
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:08,639
Speaker 2: never been able to talk to them, hence his preference.

431
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:13,600
Speaker 2: This very this, very deeply upset my mom, and after

432
00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:16,240
Speaker 2: some begging from all of us, she has agreed to

433
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:19,160
Speaker 2: push the wedding back, though she wants to keep dating him.

434
00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:21,680
Speaker 1: Oh no, I have no.

435
00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:24,679
Speaker 2: Idea where Phil is, though his brother assumes he's CouchSurfing

436
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:26,560
Speaker 2: with his D and D friends, who've been sending me

437
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:29,880
Speaker 2: and my brother some not nice messages because clearly we're

438
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:32,920
Speaker 2: just so jealous of the Did I say this say

439
00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:34,359
Speaker 2: that the mom hunter?

440
00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:37,520
Speaker 1: The mommy hunter?

441
00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:41,239
Speaker 2: Dude, If any of you socially fs are reading this,

442
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:43,760
Speaker 2: I don't need to chase middle aged folk because I

443
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:46,960
Speaker 2: can talk to boys my own age like a normal person. Peace,

444
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:51,000
Speaker 2: Peace Purple. That was a weird story. I'm sorry that was.

445
00:19:51,359 --> 00:19:52,760
Speaker 2: That was a very weird story.

446
00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:56,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was. I didn't expect that. I mean I

447
00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:58,840
Speaker 1: thought she would kind of. I thought the mom would

448
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:00,720
Speaker 1: snap out of it and be like okay.

449
00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:03,520
Speaker 2: Not yeah, being and especially I think she will.

450
00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:06,040
Speaker 1: She's like, fine, I'll put a shit with marriage back

451
00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:08,080
Speaker 1: or the wedding back, just like I don't think she

452
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:10,439
Speaker 1: wants to accept it regardless. Hey, if you're in your

453
00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:12,639
Speaker 1: sixties and there's a twenty year old guy, like twenty

454
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:17,000
Speaker 1: something year old guy dating you, it's gotta feel pretty good, right, oh, grand,

455
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:18,720
Speaker 1: I mean it's got to feel pretty cool. If you

456
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:22,240
Speaker 1: are an older person and a young person is hitting

457
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:26,320
Speaker 1: on you, not you hitting on them, them hitting on you,

458
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:29,600
Speaker 1: it's got to make you feel pretty good. Okay, yeah, yeah,

459
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:32,480
Speaker 1: that's what I'm saying. Do not. I don't want to

460
00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:35,119
Speaker 1: hear any of you taking that out of context. I

461
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:39,520
Speaker 1: am not saying anything like that. I'm just saying, what

462
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:42,439
Speaker 1: a confidence booster. If you're sixty five years old and

463
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:44,639
Speaker 1: a twenty five year old guy's like, hey, I'll date you.

464
00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:50,440
Speaker 1: My parents refused to attend my graduation, so I'm considering

465
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:51,720
Speaker 1: cutting contact with them.

466
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,520
Speaker 2: Snip snip, snip, snip.

467
00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:57,040
Speaker 1: Snip snap. Honestly, this is more so to get off

468
00:20:57,119 --> 00:21:00,320
Speaker 1: my chest than anything. This is my first time using Reddit.

469
00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:03,399
Speaker 1: I'm a longtime viewer. I twenty one female, have had

470
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:06,240
Speaker 1: a rocky relationship with my parents as of late. It's

471
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:08,840
Speaker 1: upsetting and frustrating as I try to be a good

472
00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:12,200
Speaker 1: kid for them. I obey their rules regarding tattoos and piercings.

473
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:15,199
Speaker 1: I pay rent and all of my own bills. I

474
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:17,720
Speaker 1: don't get into trouble. I rarely drink, and I don't smoke.

475
00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:20,760
Speaker 1: Sound like a poster child of a perfect baby, good job,

476
00:21:21,119 --> 00:21:23,879
Speaker 1: Yet they try their dangdust to make me out to

477
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:26,120
Speaker 1: be a problem child. By the way, this comes from

478
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:30,600
Speaker 1: user wren loves Gangar on the r slash okay storytime subreddit.

479
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:33,320
Speaker 1: Maybe it's because a lot of their friends have what

480
00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:36,520
Speaker 1: could be considered problem children and they feel left out.

481
00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:38,760
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think they hate the fact that

482
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,520
Speaker 1: I dress alt as. They have had a talk with

483
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:44,440
Speaker 1: me about how I need to stop, which is whack.

484
00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:46,880
Speaker 1: You should be able to dress how you want. Recently,

485
00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:49,840
Speaker 1: arguments have been getting worse they keep insisting I get

486
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:53,119
Speaker 1: a job despite me currently having a minimum wage job,

487
00:21:53,359 --> 00:21:56,720
Speaker 1: although to be fair, they aren't being generous with ours. Again,

488
00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,919
Speaker 1: I should reiterate I pay all my own bills in

489
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:03,439
Speaker 1: including car bills and rent. Basically, they're acting as if

490
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:06,639
Speaker 1: I'm unemployed because I don't get enough hours, and also

491
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:09,639
Speaker 1: acting as if I'm lazing about in bed doing nothing,

492
00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:13,160
Speaker 1: when in reality I'm doing a lot of chores, pet

493
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:16,600
Speaker 1: care and job hunting. Yet my parents seem to think

494
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:19,919
Speaker 1: getting a job is so easy and I'm not trying.

495
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:24,320
Speaker 1: They have also kicked me out multiple times following arguments,

496
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:27,080
Speaker 1: resulting in me crashing out a friends or even in

497
00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:30,760
Speaker 1: my car despite the freezing temperatures. I'm also a Type

498
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:33,679
Speaker 1: one diabetic and have been left without insulin during some

499
00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:38,040
Speaker 1: of these times, something which is incredibly dangerous. I should

500
00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:40,439
Speaker 1: also add they took my key, meaning I have to

501
00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:43,320
Speaker 1: knock to get in the house whenever I leave. Onto

502
00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:47,640
Speaker 1: the main issue. After one of these arguments, my parents

503
00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:50,399
Speaker 1: did this thing they do frequently. It's where they bad

504
00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:52,800
Speaker 1: talk me to each other, but loud enough for me

505
00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:55,880
Speaker 1: to hear it. My dad said something I fear will

506
00:22:55,920 --> 00:23:00,679
Speaker 1: stick with me forever I'm not going to the graduate anymore.

507
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:03,119
Speaker 1: I don't want to have to go and pretend to

508
00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:08,040
Speaker 1: be proud of that. Ooh hey you know oooh you dad.

509
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:12,040
Speaker 1: My mom also confronted me later and reiterated they weren't going.

510
00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:14,639
Speaker 1: It hurt as they knew how hard this year had

511
00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:18,080
Speaker 1: been for me. I'd suffered multiple losses and almost lost

512
00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:20,320
Speaker 1: my own life this year. It's a miracle that I

513
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:24,080
Speaker 1: passed my course at all. If they're not proud of you,

514
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:26,840
Speaker 1: will be proud of you. Proud of you, good job, Opie, congrats.

515
00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:29,800
Speaker 1: As much as it's stung, it was a relief anyway.

516
00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:34,280
Speaker 1: I'd only invited them to avoid another argument. They didn't

517
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:37,040
Speaker 1: support me at all. They made my life hell, between

518
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:40,479
Speaker 1: threatening to send my beloved pet away to turning off

519
00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:43,399
Speaker 1: the internet when they knew I had assignments due to

520
00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:47,080
Speaker 1: criticizing every single breath I took. It meant I could

521
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:50,240
Speaker 1: invite my best friend, someone who actually supported me through

522
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:53,480
Speaker 1: this hellish year that was twenty twenty four. So I

523
00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:56,800
Speaker 1: did only for my mom to approach me yesterday and

524
00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:59,800
Speaker 1: ask what the plans are for my graduation and what

525
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:03,760
Speaker 1: we were doing. Gotta love that one, right, We didn't

526
00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:06,240
Speaker 1: mean it, Sonny, what are you talking about?

527
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:06,639
Speaker 3: We?

528
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:10,080
Speaker 1: Sorry, OPI, I don't even I never said that sport.

529
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:13,160
Speaker 1: We were just hard love those harsh love sports. You're

530
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:17,119
Speaker 1: just mussing around. I was confused, as she had stated

531
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:19,480
Speaker 1: they weren't going, and I had no intention of letting

532
00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:22,160
Speaker 1: the money I'd spent go to waste and had given

533
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:26,040
Speaker 1: them to someone else, the tickets, that is. I explained that,

534
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:29,879
Speaker 1: and she simply said oh, and she huffed and walked away.

535
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:33,399
Speaker 1: Due to unforeseen circumstances that are by no means my

536
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:37,480
Speaker 1: friend's fault, she could not attend. So now I technically

537
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:41,520
Speaker 1: had two free tickets. But after everything and the trauma

538
00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:43,520
Speaker 1: they put me through, I didn't want them to go.

539
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,280
Speaker 1: It was just as well as they didn't deserve to

540
00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:49,560
Speaker 1: hear the speeches given to the audience thanking them for

541
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:52,760
Speaker 1: their support towards the graduates. They didn't deserve to feel

542
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:56,320
Speaker 1: like they were partially responsible for my success. Way to

543
00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:59,560
Speaker 1: stand on business, Opie, you don't need the mo op exactly,

544
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:03,320
Speaker 1: You don't it ached seeing everyone else have someone to

545
00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:06,480
Speaker 1: take pictures and clap for them while I was alone,

546
00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:10,160
Speaker 1: I at least had my supportive classmates. Who took pictures

547
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:12,720
Speaker 1: for me, But it should have been tears of joy

548
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:16,760
Speaker 1: I had, not grief. Well, it's something they'll never be

549
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:19,679
Speaker 1: able to take back. They'll never be able to undo

550
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:22,760
Speaker 1: the fact I was alone at my graduation, my once

551
00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:26,399
Speaker 1: in a lifetime event. Whenever I got back home, I

552
00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:29,040
Speaker 1: had to knock to get in. I stood outside in

553
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:31,840
Speaker 1: the freezing cold for several minutes before being let in.

554
00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:35,000
Speaker 1: My mother didn't even say a word, not how did

555
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:38,800
Speaker 1: it go? Can I see any pictures? Just nothing. My

556
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:40,879
Speaker 1: dad treated me like a ghost. He didn't even look

557
00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:43,399
Speaker 1: at me. Is it petty that whenever it comes to

558
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:45,760
Speaker 1: my wedding day and my dad asks to walk me

559
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:48,000
Speaker 1: down the aisle, I want to repeat the same words

560
00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:50,840
Speaker 1: back to him. I don't want you to have to

561
00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:52,159
Speaker 1: pretend you're proud of me.

562
00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:58,440
Speaker 2: I would like that. I mean, hopefully there's a resolvement here,

563
00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:00,479
Speaker 2: but I don't see it.

564
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:02,720
Speaker 1: No, I don't, and I don't think you honestly you

565
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:03,119
Speaker 1: have to.

566
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:06,679
Speaker 2: No, but I like that that would be that full circle.

567
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:10,280
Speaker 1: It would be petty, But also like, I don't think

568
00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:12,760
Speaker 1: you'll have to even do it, because people shouldn't be

569
00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:13,560
Speaker 1: involved in your wedding.

570
00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:15,800
Speaker 2: Shouldn't be in the should they should be proud of

571
00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:16,360
Speaker 2: you and like.

572
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:19,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think the only way that these I think

573
00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:22,240
Speaker 1: you should cut these people off. Go no contact with

574
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:25,040
Speaker 1: your family once you move out, whatever you know, figure

575
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:27,960
Speaker 1: out the logistics for that, and keep it that way

576
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:32,520
Speaker 1: until they express remorse for their own actions. So before

577
00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:35,040
Speaker 1: anyone suggests it, I'm already planning on moving out with

578
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:38,919
Speaker 1: a friend. Sorry, Op, I didn't mean we found a

579
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:41,320
Speaker 1: place and are planning on feeling out the form. I'm

580
00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:43,840
Speaker 1: just wondering if there's any point in keeping a relationship

581
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:46,199
Speaker 1: with these people. They treat me so coldly, and they

582
00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:49,399
Speaker 1: criticize my every breath, yet get angry at me because

583
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:51,679
Speaker 1: I never talk to them. They don't even feel like

584
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:55,800
Speaker 1: my parents anymore. Cutting contact sounds so so appealing, but

585
00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:58,080
Speaker 1: I worry the impact it would have on our other

586
00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:01,800
Speaker 1: familiar relationships. My brother went through something similar at my age,

587
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:04,639
Speaker 1: but has since reconciled with my mom. I fear he

588
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:08,000
Speaker 1: would take her side, as my family often do, without

589
00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:11,320
Speaker 1: even asking me for my side. It's so unfair. I

590
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:13,920
Speaker 1: try my best, I work hard, I pay my bills,

591
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:17,399
Speaker 1: and I behave. I don't ask them for anything except

592
00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:20,160
Speaker 1: their love, but even that is too hard for them.

593
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:23,560
Speaker 1: It seems. Any advice or insight would be great. Thank

594
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:26,520
Speaker 1: you for reading, and there is an update.

595
00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:27,080
Speaker 2: Well, just get into it.

596
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:30,320
Speaker 1: Honestly, I'm gonna assume your brother would probably be on your.

597
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,040
Speaker 2: Side, I would say, because if your brother went through this,

598
00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:34,760
Speaker 2: he has been in your shoes.

599
00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:36,879
Speaker 1: Hey aall, just thought i'd give you guys an update

600
00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:39,720
Speaker 1: since the amount of support and comments I got were insane.

601
00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:43,240
Speaker 1: First of all, I am safish. Life seems promising and

602
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:45,639
Speaker 1: for once, my thoughts are not in a dark place.

603
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:48,679
Speaker 1: I still struggle with thoughts of extreme self hatred, but

604
00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:51,920
Speaker 1: they're not as often now. I suppose that's understandable given

605
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:56,040
Speaker 1: my circumstances. Secondly, our form for a pet friendly rental

606
00:27:56,160 --> 00:28:00,439
Speaker 1: was sent off fingers crossed that we get accepted. That

607
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:02,359
Speaker 1: being said, I may have to sell a lot of

608
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:04,879
Speaker 1: things to get the cash. As previously stated in my

609
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:08,040
Speaker 1: last post, my job is not being generous with ours,

610
00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:10,840
Speaker 1: although my friend is looking into buying her own place

611
00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:13,120
Speaker 1: and renting me a room, which would be a great

612
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 1: solution for the both of us. I also have a

613
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:19,000
Speaker 1: job interview next week. Whoo, yeah, you're gonna if your

614
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:21,080
Speaker 1: job's not giving you enough hours. I hate to say,

615
00:28:21,119 --> 00:28:24,160
Speaker 1: you gotta get another one full time job in a pharmacy. Ooh,

616
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:27,080
Speaker 1: and while I will need to study for an additional qualification,

617
00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:31,639
Speaker 1: they should support me through if I landed. Additionally, I

618
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:34,080
Speaker 1: did get a phone call from another employer. The role

619
00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:37,360
Speaker 1: I applied for, which is relevant to the qualification I'd

620
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:41,280
Speaker 1: gotten at graduation, had been filled, but they expect to

621
00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:44,480
Speaker 1: potentially have more roles soon and requested to keep my

622
00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:47,400
Speaker 1: information until that date. So things are looking promising for

623
00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:50,440
Speaker 1: my career. Other than that, I may try out the

624
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:55,000
Speaker 1: Amazon Flex thing for extra cash, which I've heard mixed

625
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:58,240
Speaker 1: reviews about that. Anyway, as I'm writing this, I'm preparing

626
00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:00,320
Speaker 1: for a date with a really nice guy that I've

627
00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:03,480
Speaker 1: hit it off with. Although I wish he could have

628
00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:05,840
Speaker 1: came at a less turbulent point in my life, he

629
00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:09,280
Speaker 1: does make me happy. We text constantly all day, race

630
00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:12,440
Speaker 1: to see who can say good morning first, et cetera. Aw, Yeah,

631
00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:15,400
Speaker 1: it's cute. My documents are all safe in the glove

632
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:18,200
Speaker 1: box of my car. Even if my parents theoretically have

633
00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:21,240
Speaker 1: access to my keys, they don't know where my documents are.

634
00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:24,600
Speaker 1: Thank you to all those who asked or gave advice.

635
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:27,240
Speaker 1: I've also checked my credit score and it seems good

636
00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:30,240
Speaker 1: for someone my age, at least that's what my friend said.

637
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:33,960
Speaker 1: It's ranging six hundred to nine hundred depending on the website. Well,

638
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:35,000
Speaker 1: that's a bit.

639
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:36,880
Speaker 2: Of a that's a wig margin, that's a bit of

640
00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:37,680
Speaker 2: a spread there.

641
00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:42,840
Speaker 1: I'll take those numbers, so I don't believe they've taken

642
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:46,080
Speaker 1: anything out in my name, which, yeah, that's good. Some

643
00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:49,200
Speaker 1: more positive news. I met up with my cousin on

644
00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:51,120
Speaker 1: my father's side and I let him know a little

645
00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:54,000
Speaker 1: bit about what's going on and all my fears. According

646
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:57,920
Speaker 1: to him, our family all crap talk my parents anyway,

647
00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:00,720
Speaker 1: as they think they're a little how do I put it,

648
00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:04,520
Speaker 1: not right in the head as apparently my parents delivered

649
00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:07,880
Speaker 1: a whole anti vax speech to them. So if things

650
00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:10,920
Speaker 1: do bow up, I'll hopefully still have some family at least.

651
00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:13,400
Speaker 1: But that's about it for now. I have another house

652
00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:15,280
Speaker 1: viewing in about an hour, but I'm unsure if i'll

653
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:17,440
Speaker 1: make it. My mom insisted I do some last minute

654
00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:19,920
Speaker 1: errands for her and exploded when I told her I

655
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:22,760
Speaker 1: was busy. So I think until i'm out, I'll just

656
00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:25,920
Speaker 1: keep the peace, smile and nod and tiptoe on those eggshells.

657
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:28,400
Speaker 1: I just have to keep reminding myself that it does

658
00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:31,719
Speaker 1: get better. I remember sleeping in my car in the cold,

659
00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:35,720
Speaker 1: dodgy area, wondering if it was worth it to keep going. OP.

660
00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:38,960
Speaker 1: I think you've got a real good story of resilience

661
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:42,240
Speaker 1: you do and overcoming adversity again. We're proud of coming

662
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:44,800
Speaker 1: your way. You're on the you're on the upswing, You're

663
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:48,160
Speaker 1: on your You're I don't want to say revenge arc, but.

664
00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:49,800
Speaker 2: Your new life arc.

665
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:54,000
Speaker 1: It's just new arc, transcendence arc, asult your adult arc

666
00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:56,640
Speaker 1: that you don't need your parents. You know what we need?

667
00:30:56,960 --> 00:30:57,640
Speaker 2: What do we need to do?

668
00:30:57,680 --> 00:31:01,600
Speaker 1: We need you to join us. Okay, whenever we go

669
00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:06,520
Speaker 1: live every weekday at three pm ps D on YouTube, Facebook,

670
00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:09,640
Speaker 1: TikTok and Twitch, just tap our profess to tap it.

671
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:10,720
Speaker 1: Let's check on OP.

672
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:12,600
Speaker 2: We had a little bit more on Ope here and

673
00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:16,120
Speaker 2: see what they're up to again. They're texting good morning. Yeah,

674
00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:18,120
Speaker 2: they're racing to the finish, and I love that.

675
00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:21,000
Speaker 1: I have a wonderful new relationship, which is great, very cute.

676
00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:24,280
Speaker 1: I think definitely lean, you could even lean a little

677
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:28,520
Speaker 1: further into the family for support. I think I think

678
00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:30,440
Speaker 1: it's you know. I don't like the way you said

679
00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:33,400
Speaker 1: safe ish. I feel like if you don't feel safe

680
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:37,240
Speaker 1: in that house, it sounds like you have a support

681
00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:40,160
Speaker 1: system via your family to sort of get out of

682
00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:43,640
Speaker 1: that situation immediately, and I think you should take that.

683
00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:47,360
Speaker 1: Amazing how much things can change in a few weeks, Huh.

684
00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:49,240
Speaker 1: I guess when you hit rock bottom, the only way

685
00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:52,080
Speaker 1: to go is up. If things seem awful right now

686
00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:55,000
Speaker 1: for you, please don't ever give up. It may seem

687
00:31:55,120 --> 00:31:57,360
Speaker 1: like there's no point, but your life can turn around

688
00:31:57,360 --> 00:32:01,200
Speaker 1: completely in a matter of weeks. Sounds Ope's on the upswing. Yeah,

689
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:03,320
Speaker 1: I look at that again. Thank you for all the

690
00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:06,000
Speaker 1: lovely comments. I read every single one but could not

691
00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:08,600
Speaker 1: find the time to reply to them all. I appreciate

692
00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:10,880
Speaker 1: you all, and I'll try to keep you guys updated.

693
00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:15,760
Speaker 1: Thank you again, And that is the end of that story.

694
00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:17,720
Speaker 1: Proud of you, Op again.

695
00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:20,360
Speaker 2: Like I said, You're going up, Like we said, You're

696
00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:22,840
Speaker 2: going up. No contact.

697
00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:25,520
Speaker 1: I can see. I can see it in my mind's eye,

698
00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:31,080
Speaker 1: Op's ideal life unfolding before them. I think they did it. Ch,

699
00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:32,640
Speaker 1: I think they did we're proud of you. Good job

700
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:40,360
Speaker 1: opp sending toxic family dynamics. Hey it's Sam, your og host.

701
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:40,560
Speaker 2: Here.

702
00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:42,160
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's three

703
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:45,800
Speaker 1: minutes of ads from our sponsors. I'm no contact with

704
00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:49,680
Speaker 1: my step mother, but she tried sending my kids gifts

705
00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:50,960
Speaker 1: behind my back.

706
00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:53,240
Speaker 2: The no contact gift that keeps on giving.

707
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:58,840
Speaker 1: Oh ho, I thirty four female, have no contact with

708
00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:03,320
Speaker 1: my stepmother Mary. Long story, not worth explaining. Oh come on,

709
00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:04,640
Speaker 1: oh pee, you gotta give us a little bit.

710
00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:06,200
Speaker 2: That's the juicy part, it seems like.

711
00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:08,960
Speaker 1: But okay, it's been five years since I cut her

712
00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:12,560
Speaker 1: off from my and my family's lives. As such, she

713
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:15,080
Speaker 1: has not seen my son, eight male, since he was

714
00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:17,880
Speaker 1: three years old, and she's never even met my daughter,

715
00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:20,840
Speaker 1: who's four female. By the way, this comes from user

716
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:25,800
Speaker 1: sm gifts throwaway on the r slash Okay storytime subredden

717
00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:29,280
Speaker 1: So throughout the years, she has attempted to contact me

718
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:32,280
Speaker 1: and my kids several times. My father used to help her.

719
00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:35,120
Speaker 1: Sometimes he'd tell me how awful she felt, how much

720
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:37,720
Speaker 1: she wanted to meet my daughter, and that the kids

721
00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:41,160
Speaker 1: needed their grandma. I've never considered her a grandparent, as

722
00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:44,360
Speaker 1: both my mother and mother in law are active in

723
00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:48,760
Speaker 1: their lives. Several fights later, my father apologized and stopped

724
00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:51,880
Speaker 1: assisting her, but Mary still tries to get in touch

725
00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:54,600
Speaker 1: with me every now and then. I always state I

726
00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:57,040
Speaker 1: have no interest in seeing her or allowing her to

727
00:33:57,080 --> 00:33:59,600
Speaker 1: be a part of my children's lives. My son's birthday

728
00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:02,680
Speaker 1: was in simber day of neither of my kids were home.

729
00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:06,200
Speaker 1: A large box was delivered to our building. I opened

730
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:08,600
Speaker 1: it to find more than a dozen new toys from

731
00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:12,040
Speaker 1: my children, along with a note that read Grandma Mary

732
00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:14,839
Speaker 1: loves you both. As I later found out, she had

733
00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:17,680
Speaker 1: bought the toys on a recent trip to the United States.

734
00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:21,320
Speaker 1: I couldn't think of that as anything besides a manipulation tactic.

735
00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:24,879
Speaker 1: My children are barely aware that she exists. Why would

736
00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:27,000
Speaker 1: she send them both a box full of toys on

737
00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:31,000
Speaker 1: my son's birthday. I also think she planned the delivery

738
00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:33,000
Speaker 1: for a time she thought the kids would be home,

739
00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:37,200
Speaker 1: so that they'd see the toys immediately. Either way, my

740
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:39,920
Speaker 1: husband and I decided not to keep any of the toys.

741
00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:43,680
Speaker 1: We donated them all throughout October. The kids never saw

742
00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:44,640
Speaker 1: any of them.

743
00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:45,759
Speaker 2: How do you feel about that.

744
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:47,920
Speaker 1: I mean, I think, look, if you don't want the

745
00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:52,480
Speaker 1: step mom in your family's life, then yeah, she can't

746
00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:55,520
Speaker 1: be saying Grandma Mary loves you, because it's like, what's

747
00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:58,000
Speaker 1: the fastest way to get a kid to like you? Toys?

748
00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:00,200
Speaker 1: You buy them cool toys, and you say I'm one

749
00:35:00,239 --> 00:35:00,719
Speaker 1: that got it.

750
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:03,040
Speaker 2: I mean, come on, you don't want any trace of

751
00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:05,440
Speaker 2: mother Mary and the set Mom Mary in this.

752
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:08,560
Speaker 1: I still remember exactly which family member got me my

753
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:09,840
Speaker 1: foosball table for Christmas?

754
00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:12,000
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, I do remember my the big toys I

755
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:12,960
Speaker 2: got when I grew up.

756
00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:17,400
Speaker 1: Like, it's the way, it's, it's and it is. It's manipulating.

757
00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:20,759
Speaker 1: If you're doing it this way, you're trying to manipulate

758
00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:22,680
Speaker 1: the kids to like you, so that the.

759
00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:25,759
Speaker 2: Whys and Grandma Mary coming around. She got us these

760
00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:27,800
Speaker 2: cool toys. Okay, I got she she's trying.

761
00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:31,160
Speaker 1: To force Opie's hand. Last week, my father called me.

762
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:34,080
Speaker 1: He said Mary had just told him about the toys

763
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:36,440
Speaker 1: and wanted to know whether the kids liked them. I

764
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:40,040
Speaker 1: told him the truth, and we had an argument. My

765
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:42,839
Speaker 1: father called me cruel and ungrateful for what I did.

766
00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:45,760
Speaker 1: He said he understands Mary and I don't get along,

767
00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:48,640
Speaker 1: but she still cared enough to spend hundreds of dollars

768
00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:51,480
Speaker 1: on a loving gesture for my children. And the least

769
00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:54,040
Speaker 1: I could have done was let them know about it.

770
00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:56,480
Speaker 1: So real, quick pause, not even going to get into this.

771
00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:59,440
Speaker 1: This so simple, easy solution to this. If that's how

772
00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:01,719
Speaker 1: she really felt, If she wanted to do this selflessly,

773
00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:05,800
Speaker 1: just have the dad give them the toys. The Dad's

774
00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:09,600
Speaker 1: not excluded from their lives, you are. I honestly couldn't

775
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:13,120
Speaker 1: imagine keeping those toys. But I'd be lying if I

776
00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:15,600
Speaker 1: said the amount of money spent on them didn't make

777
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:18,000
Speaker 1: me feel guilty? Am I the a hole?

778
00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:20,279
Speaker 2: I would have called them. I would have called at

779
00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:23,560
Speaker 2: least the dad been like, hey, we got the toys.

780
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:26,160
Speaker 2: We can send them back. That's what they should have done,

781
00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:29,560
Speaker 2: instead of like, we send them back. We didn't want these.

782
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:31,840
Speaker 2: We want no contact with you guys, at least with

783
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:35,839
Speaker 2: stepmom Mary. I think that should have been like, hey,

784
00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:38,880
Speaker 2: we appreciate the gesture, that's very kind of you, but again,

785
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:40,919
Speaker 2: we don't want you in our child's lives.

786
00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:45,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, you could have gone a little. I just think

787
00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:47,919
Speaker 1: they wanted to stay no contact though, because that ain't

788
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:48,640
Speaker 1: you have to call.

789
00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:50,840
Speaker 2: You have a call, But it sounds like the dad called.

790
00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:53,960
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, hurt Op's dad called and was like, I

791
00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:57,080
Speaker 1: heard about the toys. I was gonna be like, no,

792
00:36:57,160 --> 00:37:00,440
Speaker 1: how are you gonna If you'd thrown the toys out,

793
00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:03,400
Speaker 1: I'd be like that was an ahole move. But they

794
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:07,200
Speaker 1: do them, Yeah, throughout October. So those toys went to

795
00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:10,600
Speaker 1: kids who needed them, and you know, if anything, Mary

796
00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:13,160
Speaker 1: should still feel good about that. Yes, So I don't

797
00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:15,480
Speaker 1: think you're an ahole in this situation whatsoever. I think

798
00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:17,680
Speaker 1: it's just a little bit like we don't have the

799
00:37:17,719 --> 00:37:20,040
Speaker 1: context as to why the step mom is cut out,

800
00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:23,040
Speaker 1: so we can't really speak as to if that's just.

801
00:37:23,239 --> 00:37:25,359
Speaker 2: A narrative that we have and that's what we're gonna take.

802
00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:28,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, hey, guys, thank you for your input. Many of

803
00:37:28,719 --> 00:37:30,840
Speaker 1: you stated you wouldn't be able to make any judgment

804
00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:35,200
Speaker 1: without knowing why I have no contact with Mary. Thank you.

805
00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:38,680
Speaker 1: I think that's completely fair. I explained it better in

806
00:37:38,719 --> 00:37:41,799
Speaker 1: the comments, and I recommend reading them. But Mary was

807
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:44,720
Speaker 1: awful to me when I was young. I loathe talking

808
00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:47,840
Speaker 1: about it, though therapy has been helping with that. But

809
00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:50,520
Speaker 1: it's stemmed from the fact that I wouldn't allow her

810
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:53,600
Speaker 1: to be a second mother to me. I went into

811
00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:56,360
Speaker 1: low contact with her in my early twenties, and she

812
00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:58,799
Speaker 1: would still treat me like crap whenever I saw her.

813
00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:01,799
Speaker 1: When my son was born, Mary begged me to give

814
00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:05,160
Speaker 1: her a second chance. She apologized for upsetting me and

815
00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:08,520
Speaker 1: promised she had changed. I warned her that if she

816
00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:12,600
Speaker 1: ever overstepped or even remotely hinted at going back to

817
00:38:12,719 --> 00:38:15,319
Speaker 1: her old ways, that she'd never seen me or my

818
00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:19,320
Speaker 1: family again, and to be honest, I'm surprised she lasted

819
00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:22,959
Speaker 1: three years. I didn't clarify that in my original post

820
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:26,000
Speaker 1: because not only is it something I have trouble talking about,

821
00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:28,719
Speaker 1: but I also didn't think it was relevant. I was

822
00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:31,360
Speaker 1: asking about the donations, not whether I was justified in

823
00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:33,960
Speaker 1: cutting ties with Mary. But I do agree that it's

824
00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:36,760
Speaker 1: best to have the complete picture before making judgment calls,

825
00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:40,120
Speaker 1: so I apologize for withholding that. Another thing I didn't

826
00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:42,800
Speaker 1: mention is that Mary never had children of her own,

827
00:38:43,280 --> 00:38:47,879
Speaker 1: and my only sister is child free. My kids are

828
00:38:47,920 --> 00:38:50,560
Speaker 1: the only grandchildren in the family, which is why I

829
00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:55,040
Speaker 1: think Mary wants to see them so badly. Anyway, I

830
00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:57,200
Speaker 1: went through your comments and organized the list of things

831
00:38:57,200 --> 00:38:59,680
Speaker 1: I wanted to say to my father. I thought about

832
00:38:59,719 --> 00:39:02,280
Speaker 1: making one for Mary as well, but I doubt she'd

833
00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:05,400
Speaker 1: actually listen to it. I spoke to my father on Saturday.

834
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:08,760
Speaker 1: He said he talked with his wife. Apparently Mary bought

835
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:12,080
Speaker 1: the gifts because it broke her heart to be unable

836
00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:14,080
Speaker 1: to watch my kids grow up, and she hoped that

837
00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:17,000
Speaker 1: the toys would at least let them know how much

838
00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:20,520
Speaker 1: she loved them. My father also said that Mary told

839
00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:23,719
Speaker 1: him about the gifts. He's insistent that he had no

840
00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:27,279
Speaker 1: idea because it had been a while and me and

841
00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:30,400
Speaker 1: the kids hadn't thanked her yet. My husband and I

842
00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:33,520
Speaker 1: have our children say thank you through voice messages whenever

843
00:39:33,560 --> 00:39:35,959
Speaker 1: they get a gift from someone who isn't nearby. We've

844
00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:38,279
Speaker 1: done that for my father before, so I think that's

845
00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:41,520
Speaker 1: what Mary was expecting. I explained that it didn't matter

846
00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:44,919
Speaker 1: how thoughtful he thought Mary's gesture was. When I cut

847
00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:48,400
Speaker 1: ties with her, I cut her off completely. That means

848
00:39:48,440 --> 00:39:52,160
Speaker 1: no gifts, no phone calls, and no contact with my

849
00:39:52,239 --> 00:39:57,360
Speaker 1: children directly or not. And to be fair, this is

850
00:39:57,560 --> 00:40:00,200
Speaker 1: a second chance scenario. She had already done on it

851
00:40:00,239 --> 00:40:03,400
Speaker 1: and said You're welcome back, but never again will you

852
00:40:03,760 --> 00:40:07,920
Speaker 1: make that same mistake. Clearly she did, and here we are.

853
00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:10,920
Speaker 1: She can claim to love them all she wants, but

854
00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:14,160
Speaker 1: she will never have any involvement in their lives. We

855
00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:16,680
Speaker 1: had another argument, but I put my foot down. I

856
00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:19,640
Speaker 1: told my father that if he ever attempts to assist

857
00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:22,600
Speaker 1: her in any way or brings up Grandma Mary to

858
00:40:22,680 --> 00:40:27,680
Speaker 1: my children, he will never see me again. I'll allow

859
00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:29,920
Speaker 1: him to be a part of his grandkid's lives, but

860
00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:33,400
Speaker 1: he needs to accept that his wife won't be well.

861
00:40:33,560 --> 00:40:35,480
Speaker 1: By the way, we always want you to be part

862
00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:38,400
Speaker 1: of our lives. Every single weekday at three pm when

863
00:40:38,440 --> 00:40:44,439
Speaker 1: we go live on YouTube, Facebook, Twitch, and TikTok again

864
00:40:44,440 --> 00:40:46,320
Speaker 1: at three pm PST. All I gotta do is tap

865
00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:49,440
Speaker 1: our profile. How do we feel about her threatening to

866
00:40:49,480 --> 00:40:51,600
Speaker 1: cut off her dad? Now, I don't. I don't.

867
00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:55,520
Speaker 2: I don't like that, Like, yeah, your kids should have

868
00:40:55,960 --> 00:40:58,560
Speaker 2: some grandparents because I, again, I didn't really have my

869
00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:01,319
Speaker 2: grandparents in my life. I have one grandma and I

870
00:41:01,360 --> 00:41:04,040
Speaker 2: love her to death, but that's it. I've never met

871
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:08,000
Speaker 2: my other grandparents. That's how it is. Or maybe at

872
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:10,640
Speaker 2: a very young age where I wasn't really cognizant as

873
00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:16,359
Speaker 2: like a full human being. So taking that away from

874
00:41:16,480 --> 00:41:21,600
Speaker 2: your kids did not have that experience of grandparents.

875
00:41:22,440 --> 00:41:23,120
Speaker 1: I don't like it.

876
00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:26,440
Speaker 2: I don't like it. Like at least I get, I

877
00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:30,680
Speaker 2: get your connection and ties with Mary, but threatening your

878
00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:33,879
Speaker 2: dad saying you know what, I'll cut you off too.

879
00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:36,440
Speaker 2: I don't like that. That's not fair to the That's

880
00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:38,879
Speaker 2: not fair to the children. I mean what I want

881
00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:41,240
Speaker 2: to see what the husband says. What does dad say

882
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:41,759
Speaker 2: about this?

883
00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:44,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe they have some pad I mean they might

884
00:41:44,560 --> 00:41:47,800
Speaker 1: have more grandparents on their side on the maybe maybe.

885
00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:50,640
Speaker 1: But here's the thing, we still don't have the full

886
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:53,080
Speaker 1: context of exactly what have we had the short rundown.

887
00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:55,160
Speaker 2: Here's the thing. I don't know how old are the kids?

888
00:41:55,160 --> 00:41:55,800
Speaker 2: Do we know?

889
00:41:56,040 --> 00:41:58,279
Speaker 1: I think it's like eight and four.

890
00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:00,799
Speaker 2: Okay, so I knew there under ten. I just don't

891
00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:04,400
Speaker 2: remember the exact age. When it comes to like grandparents

892
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:07,200
Speaker 2: day at school, that sucked for me. I felt so

893
00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:10,040
Speaker 2: bad because I was like, my grandparents can't make it

894
00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:11,440
Speaker 2: or I don't have grandparents and.

895
00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:13,840
Speaker 1: My Grandparents' day. I don't remember ever having.

896
00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:15,560
Speaker 2: My grandparents day. I had a grandparents to say, it

897
00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:18,560
Speaker 2: was cool, but not for me. But I'm just saying

898
00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:21,160
Speaker 2: like something like that when like, oh, kids are saying, oh,

899
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:23,720
Speaker 2: Grandma and Grandpa's cool, and your children are.

900
00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:26,360
Speaker 1: Like yeah, I think clearly, at the very least, what

901
00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:31,800
Speaker 1: it illustrates is that Ops is deeply is deeply affected

902
00:42:31,840 --> 00:42:35,440
Speaker 1: by what happened between her and her stepmother. Yes, threatening

903
00:42:35,480 --> 00:42:40,240
Speaker 1: that to her dad is kind of just a point

904
00:42:40,239 --> 00:42:43,759
Speaker 1: of illustrating to him how serious she is about which.

905
00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:46,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, and like if you didn't get the well, I

906
00:42:46,239 --> 00:42:48,279
Speaker 2: mean yeah, like she wouldn't go through with that.

907
00:42:49,080 --> 00:42:49,520
Speaker 1: Guess what.

908
00:42:49,680 --> 00:42:54,359
Speaker 2: It sucks, but Grandma Mary can live through it vicariously

909
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:55,600
Speaker 2: through Grandpa, you know what.

910
00:42:55,719 --> 00:42:56,000
Speaker 1: Pandpa.

911
00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:57,600
Speaker 2: He's like, oh, we have photos of the kids.

912
00:42:57,800 --> 00:43:02,239
Speaker 1: Ultimately, my father agreed, but I intend to watch him

913
00:43:02,280 --> 00:43:05,520
Speaker 1: closely from now on. I don't want to cut contact

914
00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:08,560
Speaker 1: with him, but this will be his final chance. If

915
00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:10,399
Speaker 1: he screws this up, he's done.

916
00:43:10,600 --> 00:43:11,279
Speaker 2: I don't like that.

917
00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:14,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like it's a little two final. Well. While

918
00:43:14,239 --> 00:43:16,839
Speaker 1: I'm not one hundred percent confident this will last, I'm

919
00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:19,319
Speaker 1: still happy with this outcome. I've been going through a

920
00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:21,719
Speaker 1: fairly stressful time at work, and it feels great to

921
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:24,880
Speaker 1: have this weight off my shoulders. Now more importantly, I

922
00:43:24,880 --> 00:43:28,080
Speaker 1: feel like I'm well equipped to deal with whatever comes next.

923
00:43:28,440 --> 00:43:32,040
Speaker 1: I don't intend to write any further updates. Once again,

924
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:36,240
Speaker 1: thank you again into that story.

925
00:43:36,320 --> 00:43:40,440
Speaker 2: It's Op's choice, Ope's life. But again, you can't make

926
00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:42,560
Speaker 2: your choices ultimately for everyone.

927
00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:49,080
Speaker 1: OHP is clearly very very adamant that the presence of

928
00:43:49,200 --> 00:43:52,680
Speaker 1: Grandma Mary would be a negative force in her children's lives.

929
00:43:52,960 --> 00:43:57,320
Speaker 1: So she will accept zero tolerance of her own father,

930
00:43:58,040 --> 00:44:01,960
Speaker 1: even mentioning Grandma Mary, because it's like, we don't want

931
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:05,799
Speaker 1: her to weasel her way into our children's lives. Again,

932
00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:08,600
Speaker 1: people kis of what happened in my camp be redeemed.

933
00:44:08,640 --> 00:44:11,120
Speaker 2: But again I get it. I get it that Op is.

934
00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:13,560
Speaker 2: That's Ope's justification, and I'm not gonna be like, ohe

935
00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:15,920
Speaker 2: change your mind. It's like, okay, I respect that.

936
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:17,520
Speaker 1: She already did give her the second chance. I know

937
00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:20,319
Speaker 1: that's that would be if that didn't happen, I'd be like,

938
00:44:20,480 --> 00:44:24,120
Speaker 1: I think maybe you could open the door and see,

939
00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:27,319
Speaker 1: but you already did that. And then she I get it.

940
00:44:27,360 --> 00:44:30,320
Speaker 1: She hey, you know, three years, she had three years

941
00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:32,719
Speaker 1: and then she messed it up. She'll have to live

942
00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:32,960
Speaker 1: with that.

943
00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:36,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, that understandable. It sucks, it's a it's a

944
00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:38,759
Speaker 2: very stinky situation on all.

945
00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:43,200
Speaker 1: My veteran husband hasn't been the same since the birth

946
00:44:43,239 --> 00:44:43,920
Speaker 1: of our child.

947
00:44:44,280 --> 00:44:49,080
Speaker 3: He neglects all his parental responsibilities. You gotta take care

948
00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:52,160
Speaker 3: of your kids pretty much. Yeah, throw away account as

949
00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:54,480
Speaker 3: my husband is on Reddit. I'm not, but I need

950
00:44:54,520 --> 00:44:57,120
Speaker 3: advice from someone other than my family. Here's the backstory.

951
00:44:57,239 --> 00:45:00,080
Speaker 1: I thirty eight female, and my husband, forty male, have

952
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:02,839
Speaker 1: been married for twelve years. We are from the same

953
00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:05,640
Speaker 1: little town in the Midwest. Our families went to school together.

954
00:45:05,719 --> 00:45:08,200
Speaker 1: I skipped a grade, so we graduated the same year.

955
00:45:08,280 --> 00:45:11,040
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from user suspicious Clock seventy

956
00:45:11,080 --> 00:45:13,359
Speaker 1: seven to eleven on the r slash Okay storytime sel

957
00:45:13,360 --> 00:45:16,160
Speaker 1: bredd it. So after high school, he joined the Army infantry.

958
00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:18,359
Speaker 1: I went to the community college about forty five minutes

959
00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:21,080
Speaker 1: away so I could save money while living with my parents.

960
00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:23,279
Speaker 1: He'd come home on leave and I'd see him out

961
00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:25,879
Speaker 1: and about, so of course we started chatting. We were

962
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:28,400
Speaker 1: really good friends. The last year of his service he

963
00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:31,760
Speaker 1: got out and came home and soon after we started dating.

964
00:45:31,880 --> 00:45:34,120
Speaker 1: Dating led to marriage. All of this was great. We

965
00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:37,319
Speaker 1: were married three wonderful years before we had our son.

966
00:45:37,480 --> 00:45:40,560
Speaker 1: Now to the downer part. When my then friend now

967
00:45:40,719 --> 00:45:43,759
Speaker 1: husband got out of the army, he filed for VA benefits,

968
00:45:43,880 --> 00:45:47,000
Speaker 1: and surprise, surprise, he was denied. From what I understand,

969
00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:49,160
Speaker 1: most people are denied the first time. During the three

970
00:45:49,239 --> 00:45:51,640
Speaker 1: years before our son was born, I insisted that he

971
00:45:51,719 --> 00:45:54,319
Speaker 1: try again, but he didn't, so I watched idly buy

972
00:45:54,440 --> 00:45:57,000
Speaker 1: while my husband struggled, not just with his hip that

973
00:45:57,080 --> 00:45:59,520
Speaker 1: he needs replaced to do disservice, but also with the

974
00:45:59,520 --> 00:46:02,760
Speaker 1: invisible stuff. I started noticing slowly driving a different direction

975
00:46:02,880 --> 00:46:04,640
Speaker 1: because there was a box in the middle of the road,

976
00:46:04,840 --> 00:46:07,080
Speaker 1: or always choosing the table we sit at when we

977
00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:09,600
Speaker 1: go out, little things that were easy to not notice

978
00:46:09,719 --> 00:46:11,800
Speaker 1: until I did. All of this took a drastic turn

979
00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:13,759
Speaker 1: as soon as I was pregnant. He didn't want to

980
00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:16,920
Speaker 1: attend appointments. He did not help prepare for our child.

981
00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:19,759
Speaker 1: He did not change our son after I had him.

982
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:22,480
Speaker 1: He wouldn't even help feed him unless it was already

983
00:46:22,520 --> 00:46:24,920
Speaker 1: made up, and I propped the bottle and baby up

984
00:46:24,960 --> 00:46:27,359
Speaker 1: next to him while he played his video games. He

985
00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:29,799
Speaker 1: just checked out almost completely.

986
00:46:30,120 --> 00:46:33,359
Speaker 3: Whoa, whoa, that's a big I mean, I don't even

987
00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:34,799
Speaker 3: know it can say switch up, but lake.

988
00:46:34,920 --> 00:46:38,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, well it's clearly there's something. Yeah, there's a mental health.

989
00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:43,000
Speaker 1: Yeah it got worse. Oh no. He got a job

990
00:46:43,040 --> 00:46:45,239
Speaker 1: working out of town and left for a month at

991
00:46:45,280 --> 00:46:48,799
Speaker 1: a time, with only a few days home, sometimes a week.

992
00:46:48,880 --> 00:46:51,800
Speaker 1: He quit that job, did full time school, got a degree,

993
00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:54,600
Speaker 1: didn't use said degree, and went back to work at

994
00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:57,359
Speaker 1: the same place with the same schedule. The years passed by,

995
00:46:57,520 --> 00:46:59,760
Speaker 1: he treated me more like one of his little soldiers

996
00:46:59,800 --> 00:47:03,479
Speaker 1: and not his partner. There was no compromise. Things had

997
00:47:03,520 --> 00:47:06,239
Speaker 1: to be his way. His hip was getting worse, and

998
00:47:06,320 --> 00:47:09,280
Speaker 1: so was my depression so hard our son started showing

999
00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:11,800
Speaker 1: me the signs that he didn't want to be around

1000
00:47:11,840 --> 00:47:13,880
Speaker 1: his dad, and the only reasons he did like to

1001
00:47:13,920 --> 00:47:15,919
Speaker 1: hang out with his dad once in a while were

1002
00:47:16,160 --> 00:47:18,520
Speaker 1: and I quote, I liked to play video games all

1003
00:47:18,600 --> 00:47:21,400
Speaker 1: day and dad gives me candy. I mean, it sounds

1004
00:47:21,400 --> 00:47:23,600
Speaker 1: like a pretty sweet, sweet setup for the kid not

1005
00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:26,680
Speaker 1: gonna lie as a kid. That's it. The man was

1006
00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:29,960
Speaker 1: barely feeding our child meals. He did not understand how

1007
00:47:29,960 --> 00:47:31,640
Speaker 1: to play with our son, nor did he want to.

1008
00:47:31,800 --> 00:47:34,720
Speaker 1: He lacked basic parenting skills like being sure to bathe

1009
00:47:34,719 --> 00:47:38,160
Speaker 1: our child, change his clothes, et cetera. He would watch Scarface,

1010
00:47:38,160 --> 00:47:40,880
Speaker 1: American Sniper, and other adult movies while our son was

1011
00:47:40,920 --> 00:47:43,359
Speaker 1: a toddler and in the same room. During this time.

1012
00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:45,799
Speaker 1: He didn't teach our child anything, didn't help him learn

1013
00:47:45,840 --> 00:47:49,600
Speaker 1: words except dada, didn't help him to walk. He missed

1014
00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:52,400
Speaker 1: it all. Three years ago, I finally convinced him we

1015
00:47:52,440 --> 00:47:54,680
Speaker 1: needed a couple's therapy where I would have to leave

1016
00:47:54,840 --> 00:47:58,319
Speaker 1: the therapist, and I convinced him to reapply with the VA,

1017
00:47:58,440 --> 00:48:01,960
Speaker 1: and he finally had approved. There we are a slipper

1018
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:05,319
Speaker 1: of light. Yes, he started hitting couples therapy every week,

1019
00:48:05,360 --> 00:48:07,720
Speaker 1: and he made sure to go to his individual therapy

1020
00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:09,839
Speaker 1: one to two times a week in addition to our

1021
00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:10,520
Speaker 1: couples therapy.

1022
00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:10,920
Speaker 3: Amazing.

1023
00:48:11,280 --> 00:48:13,200
Speaker 1: The beginning of this year, the VA gave him some

1024
00:48:13,239 --> 00:48:17,160
Speaker 1: sort of personality test or whatever, and he is medically

1025
00:48:17,320 --> 00:48:21,360
Speaker 1: flat or has a flat affect. I can't remember which

1026
00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:25,879
Speaker 1: way it was stated, but the gist is he lacks emotions,

1027
00:48:25,960 --> 00:48:29,600
Speaker 1: which apparently is common in military members, especially those in

1028
00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:32,799
Speaker 1: combat territories like my husband was. I denot this is

1029
00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:35,919
Speaker 1: what we were told, though it did make sense as

1030
00:48:36,239 --> 00:48:38,719
Speaker 1: he has a very dry sense of humor, so much

1031
00:48:38,760 --> 00:48:40,920
Speaker 1: so people closest to him can't tell if he's joking

1032
00:48:41,000 --> 00:48:43,439
Speaker 1: or not. And in May of this year, the VA

1033
00:48:43,520 --> 00:48:47,520
Speaker 1: told him he's getting his hip replaced. Finally. The couple's

1034
00:48:47,520 --> 00:48:49,880
Speaker 1: therapy has been great for him, but not for me.

1035
00:48:50,719 --> 00:48:52,719
Speaker 1: There are so many hurts that he has caused me.

1036
00:48:53,239 --> 00:48:55,319
Speaker 1: I don't know that I can just forgive him. He's

1037
00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:58,480
Speaker 1: still hurting me, not physically, but I know I do

1038
00:48:58,560 --> 00:49:01,000
Speaker 1: not trust him with our child. I do not trust

1039
00:49:01,120 --> 00:49:03,520
Speaker 1: him with our animals, and I do not trust him

1040
00:49:03,520 --> 00:49:07,040
Speaker 1: with my feelings. And now, as of basically last month,

1041
00:49:07,120 --> 00:49:09,360
Speaker 1: he's starting to go back to his old ways of

1042
00:49:09,480 --> 00:49:13,120
Speaker 1: checking out on his life and checking into his video games.

1043
00:49:13,160 --> 00:49:15,520
Speaker 1: I doubt he'll come back, and I'm maxed out on

1044
00:49:15,560 --> 00:49:18,160
Speaker 1: the mental load. Here's the problem. Oh, there's been so

1045
00:49:18,280 --> 00:49:22,520
Speaker 1: many more, a lot of problems. While he was out

1046
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:25,279
Speaker 1: growing his career. My career took a back seat, a

1047
00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:27,759
Speaker 1: far back seat. I have a part time job and

1048
00:49:27,800 --> 00:49:30,239
Speaker 1: it pays minimum wage. It's the only job I've found

1049
00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:32,239
Speaker 1: in my small town that will let me bring my

1050
00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:35,200
Speaker 1: kiddo to work when I need to. But honestly, there

1051
00:49:35,320 --> 00:49:37,600
Speaker 1: just aren't that many jobs available to me in my

1052
00:49:37,680 --> 00:49:40,440
Speaker 1: little town. I blew all my savings roughly fifteen K

1053
00:49:40,600 --> 00:49:43,319
Speaker 1: on paying the hospital bill for having our son, which

1054
00:49:43,360 --> 00:49:46,440
Speaker 1: is absurd. My whole support system is here, all my

1055
00:49:46,480 --> 00:49:49,200
Speaker 1: siblings and both sets of my parents are here. They're

1056
00:49:49,239 --> 00:49:51,000
Speaker 1: the ones that have been stepping up to help me.

1057
00:49:51,200 --> 00:49:54,359
Speaker 1: I've been very depressed. My family has been coming over

1058
00:49:54,400 --> 00:49:56,680
Speaker 1: to clean my house and start my showers, take my

1059
00:49:56,760 --> 00:49:59,160
Speaker 1: three dogs on a walk, and make me kneals. Even

1060
00:49:59,200 --> 00:50:01,680
Speaker 1: my son is asking why I'm so sad. I just

1061
00:50:01,719 --> 00:50:04,799
Speaker 1: can't get out of bed anymore. I've started antidepressants this year,

1062
00:50:04,840 --> 00:50:07,720
Speaker 1: and that's been a roller coaster in itself. If I leave,

1063
00:50:07,880 --> 00:50:10,799
Speaker 1: as my name isn't on anything except my son's birth

1064
00:50:10,840 --> 00:50:13,480
Speaker 1: certificate and doctor bill's, I'm not going to get anything.

1065
00:50:13,520 --> 00:50:15,920
Speaker 1: I know. I've been told by my family and friends.

1066
00:50:15,920 --> 00:50:17,799
Speaker 1: I'll get half, but you only get half if you

1067
00:50:17,800 --> 00:50:20,160
Speaker 1: can afford to fight for half. His family is the

1068
00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:23,960
Speaker 1: predominant farmer slash ranchers of the area and have a

1069
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:27,640
Speaker 1: crap ton of money plus an oil wellang, I think

1070
00:50:27,760 --> 00:50:31,399
Speaker 1: big money, old money like the Duttons on Yellowstone. Well,

1071
00:50:31,400 --> 00:50:32,719
Speaker 1: now hold on, where are they?

1072
00:50:32,960 --> 00:50:36,359
Speaker 3: Yeah? Why has no one helping with the therapy. Where

1073
00:50:36,440 --> 00:50:39,200
Speaker 3: where are they in this? What's any part of this

1074
00:50:39,440 --> 00:50:40,000
Speaker 3: entire store?

1075
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:42,239
Speaker 1: It seems like none of that money is do your

1076
00:50:42,280 --> 00:50:45,680
Speaker 1: fiances or your husband's parents would they cut you? I

1077
00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:49,520
Speaker 1: care about him at all. Meanwhile, I make minimum wage

1078
00:50:49,560 --> 00:50:52,080
Speaker 1: and come from a lower middle class family, the type

1079
00:50:52,120 --> 00:50:54,719
Speaker 1: of family that saves the margarine tub because we won't

1080
00:50:54,719 --> 00:50:57,440
Speaker 1: buy tupperware. And we usually make our Christmas presents at home.

1081
00:50:57,560 --> 00:50:59,800
Speaker 1: Uh And by the way, you can join us live

1082
00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:03,919
Speaker 1: and make Christmas presents with us every weekday at three

1083
00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:10,160
Speaker 1: pm on YouTube, on Facebook, on Twitch, on TikTok. Just

1084
00:51:10,239 --> 00:51:12,960
Speaker 1: tap our profile and join the live. We might be

1085
00:51:13,000 --> 00:51:16,640
Speaker 1: live right now. His family has never really been supportive

1086
00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:21,280
Speaker 1: of me. They are very traditional and I like having

1087
00:51:21,400 --> 00:51:23,560
Speaker 1: blue hair. I know they won't support my decision, and

1088
00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:25,880
Speaker 1: since I'm the one doing it, they would never place

1089
00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:29,319
Speaker 1: any blame on their golden child. If I stay, I

1090
00:51:29,360 --> 00:51:32,400
Speaker 1: don't know the best outcome, but I can certainly guess

1091
00:51:32,440 --> 00:51:35,080
Speaker 1: at the worst. And I don't like my guests. I

1092
00:51:35,160 --> 00:51:37,600
Speaker 1: stayed this long, and I know he's in there somewhere.

1093
00:51:37,719 --> 00:51:40,160
Speaker 1: I guess I'm just looking for advice. Should I leave

1094
00:51:40,280 --> 00:51:42,719
Speaker 1: and let him handle this on his own? Should I

1095
00:51:42,880 --> 00:51:45,880
Speaker 1: grin and bear it so I can support him getting better?

1096
00:51:45,960 --> 00:51:48,680
Speaker 1: If I stay, how do I manage On a very

1097
00:51:48,719 --> 00:51:51,560
Speaker 1: real level, The important thing here is the kid. You

1098
00:51:51,680 --> 00:51:53,600
Speaker 1: have to think of the child. Think of the children.

1099
00:51:53,680 --> 00:51:55,400
Speaker 1: It totally makes sense that you want to leave. I

1100
00:51:55,440 --> 00:51:57,920
Speaker 1: don't think anyone would be like, it's not right for

1101
00:51:57,960 --> 00:52:00,040
Speaker 1: you to want to leave. You've been dealing with it

1102
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:03,080
Speaker 1: for almost a decade. At this point, the counseling was helping,

1103
00:52:03,080 --> 00:52:05,319
Speaker 1: and now it's not. I think getting ahead of that,

1104
00:52:05,360 --> 00:52:08,000
Speaker 1: addressing that immediately is something that needs to be done, Like, Okay,

1105
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:09,799
Speaker 1: so now the counseling's not working anymore, we need to

1106
00:52:09,800 --> 00:52:12,520
Speaker 1: pivot back to a place that's helpful, get to the

1107
00:52:12,560 --> 00:52:13,600
Speaker 1: other end of this tunnel.

1108
00:52:13,800 --> 00:52:17,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think on that, like kind of adding

1109
00:52:17,960 --> 00:52:20,120
Speaker 3: on to that, I think that op needs to decide

1110
00:52:20,120 --> 00:52:25,080
Speaker 3: for herself if she is capable of fighting that fight

1111
00:52:25,560 --> 00:52:28,359
Speaker 3: of you know, going through that all and making it

1112
00:52:28,360 --> 00:52:30,040
Speaker 3: to the other side. Because I think if the answer

1113
00:52:30,080 --> 00:52:32,719
Speaker 3: is no, you know, I've I've spent years doing this

1114
00:52:32,840 --> 00:52:36,279
Speaker 3: and I just can't do it anymore, and also she's

1115
00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:38,360
Speaker 3: not getting any help with her kid, then maybe the

1116
00:52:38,400 --> 00:52:41,440
Speaker 3: answer is one we still go to his family and

1117
00:52:41,480 --> 00:52:45,000
Speaker 3: say like, okay, he needs your help, but maybe we

1118
00:52:45,120 --> 00:52:47,759
Speaker 3: we separate, maybe like for the time being, if you're

1119
00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:51,040
Speaker 3: not sure still about divorcing, you just separate, you take

1120
00:52:51,080 --> 00:52:54,120
Speaker 3: the kid. See if that helps him get better. See

1121
00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:59,680
Speaker 3: if he didn't, you know, even wants to try. And

1122
00:53:00,200 --> 00:53:03,680
Speaker 3: maybe after separating for a little bit, you realize, oh,

1123
00:53:03,719 --> 00:53:05,520
Speaker 3: you know, we can work out. We can work this out.

1124
00:53:05,560 --> 00:53:07,600
Speaker 3: Or maybe it's like, Okay, it's not going to work out,

1125
00:53:07,640 --> 00:53:08,280
Speaker 3: we have to divorce.

1126
00:53:08,480 --> 00:53:11,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, but yeah, there needs to be a decision made.

1127
00:53:11,360 --> 00:53:13,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, but that is the end of that story.

1128
00:53:13,840 --> 00:53:15,799
Speaker 1: He's johny Og host here. We're gonna get back to

1129
00:53:15,800 --> 00:53:17,400
Speaker 1: the stories. But he's a quick three minute break of

1130
00:53:17,400 --> 00:53:18,360
Speaker 1: ads from our sponsors.

1131
00:53:18,880 --> 00:53:22,560
Speaker 3: My husband keeps breaking boundaries with his ex. Even our

1132
00:53:22,719 --> 00:53:24,560
Speaker 3: friends are made.

1133
00:53:24,239 --> 00:53:26,080
Speaker 1: Even the friends are mad. You know you're doing something.

1134
00:53:26,200 --> 00:53:29,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's in the wrong year. I thirty seven, female,

1135
00:53:29,680 --> 00:53:33,840
Speaker 3: have been with my husband male thirty nine for fifteen years.

1136
00:53:34,120 --> 00:53:36,520
Speaker 3: We will call him G. When we first met, he

1137
00:53:36,560 --> 00:53:38,680
Speaker 3: told me a story about some girlfriend he had in

1138
00:53:38,719 --> 00:53:41,600
Speaker 3: middle school who broke his heart and how that impacted

1139
00:53:41,600 --> 00:53:44,840
Speaker 3: his life. A girl in middle school impacted your life?

1140
00:53:44,880 --> 00:53:47,719
Speaker 1: Maybe it was like really like a fault in our

1141
00:53:47,800 --> 00:53:48,880
Speaker 1: stars type stuff.

1142
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:51,480
Speaker 3: Within the first few months of meeting, I hear this story.

1143
00:53:51,640 --> 00:53:53,719
Speaker 3: She apparently drops out of high school, so he's not

1144
00:53:53,800 --> 00:53:57,239
Speaker 3: interacted with her at all during our relationship. By the way,

1145
00:53:57,280 --> 00:54:00,520
Speaker 3: this comes from acceptable income forty on the Oka storytime

1146
00:54:00,560 --> 00:54:03,720
Speaker 3: suppered it. So about four years ago we run into

1147
00:54:03,760 --> 00:54:07,000
Speaker 3: her at a local bar and he's apparently over it.

1148
00:54:07,200 --> 00:54:09,160
Speaker 3: To emphasize what a big deal of this was, he

1149
00:54:09,200 --> 00:54:11,640
Speaker 3: had friends that I had known the whole relationship that

1150
00:54:11,719 --> 00:54:14,040
Speaker 3: quit speaking to this girl in middle school and had

1151
00:54:14,080 --> 00:54:16,719
Speaker 3: continued not speaking to her out of respect for him.

1152
00:54:16,880 --> 00:54:19,720
Speaker 3: Middle school drama, I know, but real adults were avoiding

1153
00:54:19,760 --> 00:54:20,680
Speaker 3: her because of him.

1154
00:54:20,840 --> 00:54:23,600
Speaker 1: How old are these people, they're thirty seven?

1155
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:27,920
Speaker 3: What now suddenly the source of his woman trauma? She

1156
00:54:28,040 --> 00:54:30,280
Speaker 3: was a girl. You can't even say woman trauma.

1157
00:54:30,320 --> 00:54:32,640
Speaker 1: She was a girl. She was a girl trauma.

1158
00:54:32,719 --> 00:54:35,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, is back in the picture, and I'm uncomfortable. For

1159
00:54:35,239 --> 00:54:38,040
Speaker 3: the first few years, she was everywhere. Our friend's circle

1160
00:54:38,160 --> 00:54:40,279
Speaker 3: was out of nowhere, and it became apparent that my

1161
00:54:40,360 --> 00:54:43,840
Speaker 3: husband Jake was inviting her out. There was so much flirting.

1162
00:54:43,880 --> 00:54:46,320
Speaker 3: If she was there, all of his attention and jokes

1163
00:54:46,320 --> 00:54:48,200
Speaker 3: were on her. She was really sweet, but I never

1164
00:54:48,200 --> 00:54:50,440
Speaker 3: felt like she wanted much to do with me. Of course,

1165
00:54:50,480 --> 00:54:51,960
Speaker 3: she was just trying to steal your man. On his

1166
00:54:52,000 --> 00:54:54,600
Speaker 3: birthday three years ago, my other friend got angry with

1167
00:54:54,640 --> 00:54:56,840
Speaker 3: his attention on her and led me out of the

1168
00:54:56,880 --> 00:55:00,520
Speaker 3: building because it was so obnoxious. Last summer, another pointed

1169
00:55:00,560 --> 00:55:02,040
Speaker 3: out to him and to me that she was not

1170
00:55:02,160 --> 00:55:05,360
Speaker 3: good for our relationship because of how close and flirty

1171
00:55:05,400 --> 00:55:07,680
Speaker 3: they were. Why is everyone aware of how flirty they were?

1172
00:55:07,680 --> 00:55:09,200
Speaker 3: And ope's still in this relationship?

1173
00:55:09,320 --> 00:55:11,440
Speaker 1: Yes, you're like three years in.

1174
00:55:11,760 --> 00:55:14,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, and they're flirting a lot. That night, he texted

1175
00:55:14,719 --> 00:55:17,279
Speaker 3: her about where he had moved to in the bar

1176
00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:20,040
Speaker 3: we were at, and not me. I was standing right

1177
00:55:20,080 --> 00:55:22,040
Speaker 3: next to her. I finally broke and said that I

1178
00:55:22,080 --> 00:55:24,120
Speaker 3: was very uncomfortable and that I would need to have

1179
00:55:24,200 --> 00:55:27,160
Speaker 3: boundaries around this. Why did this take you so long?

1180
00:55:27,360 --> 00:55:29,640
Speaker 3: He continued to speak to her, mostly without me knowing.

1181
00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:32,560
Speaker 3: This summer, two of his friends said some odd things

1182
00:55:32,560 --> 00:55:34,960
Speaker 3: that indicated he was very close to her now. It

1183
00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:36,600
Speaker 3: was like, if you want to know what's going on

1184
00:55:36,640 --> 00:55:39,400
Speaker 3: with her, talk to Jake and oh, yeah, she gave

1185
00:55:39,480 --> 00:55:41,279
Speaker 3: us so many rides home from the bar.

1186
00:55:41,840 --> 00:55:44,520
Speaker 1: What happened to the actively avoiding this person.

1187
00:55:44,680 --> 00:55:46,879
Speaker 3: I think that's why the friends are up said. They're like, dude,

1188
00:55:46,960 --> 00:55:49,360
Speaker 3: we've been actively avoiding her for thirty years.

1189
00:55:49,640 --> 00:55:50,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, why are you?

1190
00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:52,120
Speaker 3: Why are you getting with this?

1191
00:55:52,320 --> 00:55:55,000
Speaker 1: You talk like a deep seated like this is the

1192
00:55:55,040 --> 00:55:58,920
Speaker 1: one girl that got away and I first, he.

1193
00:55:58,560 --> 00:56:00,839
Speaker 3: Gets excited about some hip hop song and they need

1194
00:56:00,880 --> 00:56:02,680
Speaker 3: to talk about it. I did not grow up on

1195
00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:05,080
Speaker 3: hip hop, so I don't know all the songs, and

1196
00:56:05,120 --> 00:56:06,920
Speaker 3: I guess that's an issue. He did say that he

1197
00:56:06,960 --> 00:56:09,200
Speaker 3: has set better boundaries with her, but I think there's

1198
00:56:09,239 --> 00:56:12,799
Speaker 3: some emotional issue going on. Yes, girl, wake up.

1199
00:56:12,880 --> 00:56:15,040
Speaker 1: I'm not sure if it's my lack of hip hop

1200
00:56:15,120 --> 00:56:17,839
Speaker 1: knowledge or he's secretly in love with this girl.

1201
00:56:18,080 --> 00:56:19,840
Speaker 3: They're flirting a lot, but I don't know if that

1202
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:22,200
Speaker 3: means anything. I think I just need to listen to nas.

1203
00:56:22,360 --> 00:56:25,040
Speaker 3: He still comes home after ten pm, and she's the

1204
00:56:25,040 --> 00:56:27,400
Speaker 3: one who is on the phone. I will say that

1205
00:56:27,440 --> 00:56:29,680
Speaker 3: I think they had some kind of conversation because she's

1206
00:56:29,760 --> 00:56:30,560
Speaker 3: least flirty with them.

1207
00:56:30,640 --> 00:56:33,520
Speaker 1: And this is gonna backfire because now you've turned it

1208
00:56:33,560 --> 00:56:34,680
Speaker 1: into the forbidden fruit.

1209
00:56:35,000 --> 00:56:36,560
Speaker 3: They want it. Now, they want it even more.

1210
00:56:36,840 --> 00:56:38,719
Speaker 1: It's gonna make it worse last night.

1211
00:56:38,920 --> 00:56:42,400
Speaker 3: He stumbled into the house after eleven PM after I

1212
00:56:42,480 --> 00:56:44,200
Speaker 3: was unable to get a hold of him. I had

1213
00:56:44,239 --> 00:56:46,719
Speaker 3: made him the dinner he requested earlier, and put it

1214
00:56:46,760 --> 00:56:50,680
Speaker 3: away and gone to bed. When I hear some strange music.

1215
00:56:50,920 --> 00:56:54,040
Speaker 1: So OPI you haven't learned anything about rap music? I

1216
00:56:54,080 --> 00:56:55,400
Speaker 1: see glarely not.

1217
00:56:55,680 --> 00:56:57,719
Speaker 3: It was him and her playing music to each other

1218
00:56:57,760 --> 00:57:02,800
Speaker 3: and reminiscing in the hot Wait in your guys.

1219
00:57:01,800 --> 00:57:04,920
Speaker 1: Like, that's the phone right, There's no way he snuck

1220
00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:09,479
Speaker 1: his middle school girlfriend, yeah, lover into your home.

1221
00:57:09,680 --> 00:57:11,480
Speaker 3: He wanted to know if he should go to therapy,

1222
00:57:11,600 --> 00:57:13,600
Speaker 3: and she said it would be okay, but that they

1223
00:57:13,640 --> 00:57:16,400
Speaker 3: both had such complex issues and that he could call

1224
00:57:16,440 --> 00:57:18,960
Speaker 3: her whenever and she would always pick up. Then him,

1225
00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:22,320
Speaker 3: being wasted, started fantasizing what would have happened if they

1226
00:57:22,360 --> 00:57:24,760
Speaker 3: had stayed together in middle school? Guys probably would have

1227
00:57:24,760 --> 00:57:28,040
Speaker 3: broken up. What is this? It's so strange. This is

1228
00:57:28,160 --> 00:57:30,680
Speaker 3: one hand. I appreciate that she's cooled the flirting, but

1229
00:57:30,680 --> 00:57:32,280
Speaker 3: it should never have been there. Wait.

1230
00:57:32,280 --> 00:57:35,080
Speaker 1: Whoaoa wow, whoa whoa whoa whoa. She hasn't cooled anything.

1231
00:57:35,120 --> 00:57:37,960
Speaker 1: She's having drunk conversations with her husband and eleven at

1232
00:57:38,040 --> 00:57:39,120
Speaker 1: ninth what I.

1233
00:57:39,080 --> 00:57:41,080
Speaker 3: Told him that I don't think the conversations with her

1234
00:57:41,280 --> 00:57:44,480
Speaker 3: from eleven PM to two am is appropriate. He thinks

1235
00:57:44,520 --> 00:57:47,880
Speaker 3: I'm being crazy because they were talking mostly about him

1236
00:57:47,880 --> 00:57:50,720
Speaker 3: needing to go to therapy, and she gets him. I

1237
00:57:50,760 --> 00:57:53,880
Speaker 3: think it's a bunch of bs. Personally. He has so

1238
00:57:54,000 --> 00:57:55,960
Speaker 3: many friends, and I have been very clear that I

1239
00:57:56,040 --> 00:57:58,080
Speaker 3: tried to prefend her and it did not go well.

1240
00:57:58,120 --> 00:58:00,680
Speaker 3: Then the open flirting and her being with him when

1241
00:58:00,720 --> 00:58:03,919
Speaker 3: I was not. He says they're close because of their childhood.

1242
00:58:04,240 --> 00:58:07,600
Speaker 3: Both had bad childhood experiences and they experienced them together.

1243
00:58:07,720 --> 00:58:09,760
Speaker 3: Am I thinking that there is an emotional connection and

1244
00:58:09,800 --> 00:58:12,040
Speaker 3: I'm the third wheel because I felt like I was

1245
00:58:12,080 --> 00:58:12,919
Speaker 3: on their date?

1246
00:58:13,080 --> 00:58:14,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, you are.

1247
00:58:14,560 --> 00:58:18,120
Speaker 3: You are the third wheel? Uh huh.

1248
00:58:18,120 --> 00:58:21,200
Speaker 1: He should be talking to you about going to therapy.

1249
00:58:21,360 --> 00:58:23,240
Speaker 3: Why is he talking to this girl that he dated

1250
00:58:23,280 --> 00:58:25,960
Speaker 3: in middle school? She also is fairly new, last four

1251
00:58:26,040 --> 00:58:28,000
Speaker 3: years out of fifteen and I'm not sure what to

1252
00:58:28,040 --> 00:58:32,000
Speaker 3: do with this last four for fifteen fifteen years. But

1253
00:58:32,040 --> 00:58:34,400
Speaker 3: she's been flirting and you're just kind of like passively

1254
00:58:34,760 --> 00:58:37,000
Speaker 3: asking him to stop. It seems like you're like, hey,

1255
00:58:37,040 --> 00:58:38,840
Speaker 3: don't do that, and he's like get it though.

1256
00:58:39,280 --> 00:58:43,320
Speaker 1: I think if I'd been with someone for eleven years, yeah,

1257
00:58:43,360 --> 00:58:46,680
Speaker 1: and then they started being like extra chummy with like

1258
00:58:47,360 --> 00:58:51,520
Speaker 1: my middle school crash that embarrassed me, like and and

1259
00:58:51,520 --> 00:58:55,200
Speaker 1: we weren't ever gonna speak, I'd be like, there's no

1260
00:58:55,720 --> 00:58:59,200
Speaker 1: universe and I'm being crazy. I don't need to care

1261
00:58:59,200 --> 00:59:01,920
Speaker 1: about that. That's never gonna happen, right.

1262
00:59:01,960 --> 00:59:03,720
Speaker 3: This is where I may be the a hole. I

1263
00:59:03,800 --> 00:59:05,680
Speaker 3: told him that I asked for boundaries, and I feel

1264
00:59:05,680 --> 00:59:07,560
Speaker 3: that they are still being broken. So I told them

1265
00:59:07,560 --> 00:59:10,160
Speaker 3: that I'm not sure how to continue on in our relationship.

1266
00:59:10,200 --> 00:59:12,240
Speaker 3: If she is a necessary part, You're.

1267
00:59:12,080 --> 00:59:12,760
Speaker 1: Not the ale.

1268
00:59:13,360 --> 00:59:15,240
Speaker 3: No, you're not the al.

1269
00:59:15,840 --> 00:59:18,960
Speaker 1: He's so such a what is soft? You're like, I

1270
00:59:19,080 --> 00:59:21,080
Speaker 1: might be wrong. Try setting a boundary.

1271
00:59:21,920 --> 00:59:24,360
Speaker 3: I am not handling her being around well at all,

1272
00:59:24,440 --> 00:59:27,040
Speaker 3: and I have made my feelings very clear. He says,

1273
00:59:27,080 --> 00:59:29,280
Speaker 3: all s energy and resources go to me. But this

1274
00:59:29,320 --> 00:59:31,880
Speaker 3: is a very strange connection. I do think he needs

1275
00:59:31,920 --> 00:59:33,800
Speaker 3: to go to therapy. We have been discussing it for

1276
00:59:33,840 --> 00:59:35,840
Speaker 3: a while, so I like that, but I don't like

1277
00:59:35,920 --> 00:59:38,040
Speaker 3: how she has to sign off on it. Because they

1278
00:59:38,200 --> 00:59:41,280
Speaker 3: get each other. It could be just friends thing now,

1279
00:59:41,400 --> 00:59:44,760
Speaker 3: but I'm not sure, Oh no, it's not Kimberly fine,

1280
00:59:44,840 --> 00:59:47,160
Speaker 3: just he has girl and guy friends, so that's not

1281
00:59:47,240 --> 00:59:50,120
Speaker 3: the issue. It comes down to their behavior and how

1282
00:59:50,120 --> 00:59:52,400
Speaker 3: it made me uncomfortable. And I'm not sure if I'm

1283
00:59:52,440 --> 00:59:54,360
Speaker 3: the a hole for telling him to cut it off.

1284
00:59:54,440 --> 00:59:57,560
Speaker 1: And there is an update twenty six years.

1285
00:59:58,440 --> 01:00:01,280
Speaker 3: Thank you for the feedback of there are many layers

1286
01:00:01,320 --> 01:00:03,840
Speaker 3: to a story and relationships that can't be examined from

1287
01:00:03,880 --> 01:00:07,080
Speaker 3: an emotional post where I was clearly questioning my perspective

1288
01:00:07,120 --> 01:00:10,600
Speaker 3: and instincts. Some extra background to clarify a few things

1289
01:00:10,640 --> 01:00:13,000
Speaker 3: before I get into what is happening next. I really

1290
01:00:13,080 --> 01:00:16,480
Speaker 3: found the Darvo info useful, and I am well aware

1291
01:00:16,640 --> 01:00:18,920
Speaker 3: how easy it is to connect over issues to someone

1292
01:00:18,920 --> 01:00:21,280
Speaker 3: outside the relationship, because it's easy. It's like going on

1293
01:00:21,400 --> 01:00:23,960
Speaker 3: vacation to Disneyland, because the person isn't living the hard

1294
01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:26,760
Speaker 3: stuff with you, and they are solely there to validate

1295
01:00:26,800 --> 01:00:29,160
Speaker 3: you because they don't have the entire picture. His high

1296
01:00:29,160 --> 01:00:31,680
Speaker 3: school friend circle is very close, and all the wives

1297
01:00:31,680 --> 01:00:35,320
Speaker 3: that have married and agree that it's strange and unusual.

1298
01:00:35,400 --> 01:00:38,040
Speaker 3: They are all friends, know what's going on with one another,

1299
01:00:38,120 --> 01:00:41,240
Speaker 3: and remember multiple classes and people from high school. Wow,

1300
01:00:41,320 --> 01:00:43,640
Speaker 3: that's crazy. I met a stepmom at our kids' sporting

1301
01:00:43,640 --> 01:00:46,440
Speaker 3: event and her husband was two years behind mine, and

1302
01:00:46,480 --> 01:00:49,400
Speaker 3: she said the same about their friend circle slash school area.

1303
01:00:49,680 --> 01:00:52,400
Speaker 3: Think seventy five to one hundred graduating kids, yepes small

1304
01:00:52,440 --> 01:00:55,280
Speaker 3: town Scott to be a small town niney town and

1305
01:00:55,320 --> 01:00:57,480
Speaker 3: they know each other and have started hanging out again

1306
01:00:57,480 --> 01:01:00,000
Speaker 3: like there was no twenty year gap. It's a very

1307
01:01:00,040 --> 01:01:02,440
Speaker 3: strange dynamic, to say the least. But that's why I

1308
01:01:02,480 --> 01:01:05,560
Speaker 3: didn't immediately see red flags that and I didn't think

1309
01:01:05,560 --> 01:01:08,560
Speaker 3: a crush from age thirteen right on the middle that

1310
01:01:08,920 --> 01:01:11,320
Speaker 3: was or would be an issue. We did speak and

1311
01:01:11,360 --> 01:01:14,680
Speaker 3: he genuinely apologized after calming down, for making me feel

1312
01:01:14,720 --> 01:01:18,040
Speaker 3: uncomfortable and because he acknowledged there was flirting and it

1313
01:01:18,160 --> 01:01:21,120
Speaker 3: usually comes with drinking. This was weekend number two where

1314
01:01:21,120 --> 01:01:23,400
Speaker 3: he was up late talking to her since last summer

1315
01:01:23,480 --> 01:01:26,360
Speaker 3: that I'm aware of. I said no contact and couples counseling,

1316
01:01:26,440 --> 01:01:28,840
Speaker 3: because I do think this got way out of control

1317
01:01:28,920 --> 01:01:31,400
Speaker 3: beyond what I'm aware of. I think twenty twenty one

1318
01:01:31,520 --> 01:01:34,640
Speaker 3: it was probably deeper than I know, so we'll see

1319
01:01:34,640 --> 01:01:38,480
Speaker 3: what happens. I agree there is an attention and validation issue.

1320
01:01:38,560 --> 01:01:41,040
Speaker 3: Hopefully he gets help regardless of what I decide to do.

1321
01:01:41,320 --> 01:01:43,840
Speaker 3: We're dealing with all of his grandparents passing within a

1322
01:01:43,840 --> 01:01:44,400
Speaker 3: month of each.

1323
01:01:44,320 --> 01:01:45,320
Speaker 1: Other, and a DUI.

1324
01:01:45,520 --> 01:01:47,640
Speaker 3: Wow, he's not in the right headspace at the moment,

1325
01:01:47,720 --> 01:01:50,720
Speaker 3: and he does need help, but that's becoming not my problem.

1326
01:01:50,760 --> 01:01:52,800
Speaker 3: I did read the messages. I'm not going to go

1327
01:01:52,840 --> 01:01:57,320
Speaker 3: into detail, but I was able to retrieve deleted messages.

1328
01:01:57,680 --> 01:02:00,400
Speaker 3: This combo was very normal and friendly support, but he

1329
01:02:00,480 --> 01:02:02,960
Speaker 3: was wasted and was going back to thirteen and it

1330
01:02:03,040 --> 01:02:06,520
Speaker 3: was him all him reminiscing. While I would call most

1331
01:02:06,520 --> 01:02:09,640
Speaker 3: of their conversations normal, I don't think his is always innocent.

1332
01:02:09,800 --> 01:02:11,600
Speaker 3: Well the fact, I mean he's the one who said,

1333
01:02:11,640 --> 01:02:14,760
Speaker 3: what if we were still together? That's not innocent, dude,

1334
01:02:14,800 --> 01:02:18,000
Speaker 3: that's the opposite. And they're unnecessary. He has friends that

1335
01:02:18,040 --> 01:02:20,360
Speaker 3: gave him the same advice she did, and it's well

1336
01:02:20,440 --> 01:02:23,600
Speaker 3: established that she's newer to the friend circle now. And

1337
01:02:23,680 --> 01:02:25,960
Speaker 3: him deciding that they bond over the child to drama,

1338
01:02:26,040 --> 01:02:29,200
Speaker 3: he's absurd. At age forty, we all had trauma. It

1339
01:02:29,280 --> 01:02:31,680
Speaker 3: was awful time to deal with it with a professional,

1340
01:02:31,920 --> 01:02:35,360
Speaker 3: not the source of the woman drama. By the way,

1341
01:02:35,520 --> 01:02:37,640
Speaker 3: we would never be the source of your trauma. You

1342
01:02:37,680 --> 01:02:40,840
Speaker 3: know what you need us every weekday at three PMPSD

1343
01:02:41,040 --> 01:02:44,040
Speaker 3: on YouTube, Facebook, and TikTok. Just tap her profiles.

1344
01:02:44,040 --> 01:02:45,720
Speaker 1: Do give me a tap. We might be live right now.

1345
01:02:45,760 --> 01:02:47,600
Speaker 1: For a forty year old man.

1346
01:02:47,840 --> 01:02:51,320
Speaker 3: Forty year old man's obsessed with the third with his thirteen.

1347
01:02:51,080 --> 01:02:53,240
Speaker 1: Year old love, he needs therapy.

1348
01:02:53,560 --> 01:02:56,720
Speaker 3: Before even reading these posts yesterday, I decided it was

1349
01:02:56,840 --> 01:03:00,200
Speaker 3: no contact or me. It should not have ever been

1350
01:03:00,200 --> 01:03:02,320
Speaker 3: at a point where I felt left out of my relationship,

1351
01:03:02,360 --> 01:03:04,360
Speaker 3: and it should have been respected on both sides.

1352
01:03:04,520 --> 01:03:04,840
Speaker 1: More his.

1353
01:03:05,120 --> 01:03:07,360
Speaker 3: I have not said anything to her because these are

1354
01:03:07,440 --> 01:03:09,640
Speaker 3: his choices I'm dealing with, but I'm not above it

1355
01:03:09,720 --> 01:03:12,840
Speaker 3: if it gets to that long story short, this isn't

1356
01:03:12,880 --> 01:03:15,880
Speaker 3: a friendship that needs to continue. I can't control either

1357
01:03:15,920 --> 01:03:18,160
Speaker 3: of them, so I'll be making my choices based on

1358
01:03:18,200 --> 01:03:19,040
Speaker 3: what's best for me.

1359
01:03:19,160 --> 01:03:21,560
Speaker 1: Okay, boom, that's perfect, and that's the end. I think.

1360
01:03:21,640 --> 01:03:24,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think Opie's just kind of realized after four years,

1361
01:03:24,800 --> 01:03:27,080
Speaker 3: you know what, I'm just gonna do what's best for me.

1362
01:03:27,280 --> 01:03:28,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what you gotta do.

1363
01:03:28,480 --> 01:03:32,480
Speaker 3: And moment then yeah, that's the answer.

1364
01:03:32,280 --> 01:03:33,240
Speaker 1: Unless there's kids involved.

1365
01:03:34,080 --> 01:03:35,760
Speaker 3: For kids, yeah, and then we have to think about it.

1366
01:03:35,760 --> 01:03:37,080
Speaker 1: I think of that with the kids.

1367
01:03:37,440 --> 01:03:39,840
Speaker 3: But that's the end of that story and for anyone

1368
01:03:39,960 --> 01:03:43,600
Speaker 3: just jumping in now TILDR. Basically, Opie has been married

1369
01:03:43,680 --> 01:03:47,040
Speaker 3: to this man for fifteen years, and for the past

1370
01:03:47,160 --> 01:03:52,280
Speaker 3: four years he has been reconnecting with his childhood middle

1371
01:03:52,320 --> 01:03:56,120
Speaker 3: school girlfriend, who I guess they had some shared child

1372
01:03:56,240 --> 01:03:59,320
Speaker 3: to trauma, but he was The breakup in middle school

1373
01:03:59,440 --> 01:04:02,680
Speaker 3: was so bad he made his friends go like actively

1374
01:04:02,720 --> 01:04:08,080
Speaker 3: avoid her for how many lives? Yeah, whole lives over

1375
01:04:08,160 --> 01:04:11,320
Speaker 3: twenty years. And now they're reconnecting and flirting, and op

1376
01:04:11,360 --> 01:04:13,120
Speaker 3: He's like, this is weird. I don't know how to

1377
01:04:13,120 --> 01:04:15,439
Speaker 3: feel about this. And now his friends are like, hey,

1378
01:04:15,880 --> 01:04:18,920
Speaker 3: their relationship is inappropriate, and hope he's like flirting.

1379
01:04:19,080 --> 01:04:21,840
Speaker 1: The flirting evolved over four four.

1380
01:04:21,720 --> 01:04:25,120
Speaker 3: Year years and finally op He's like putting her foot down,

1381
01:04:25,240 --> 01:04:27,880
Speaker 3: saying this is not acceptable. The boyfriend's kind of trying

1382
01:04:27,920 --> 01:04:30,360
Speaker 3: to gas lighter a little bit, but finally seems to

1383
01:04:30,400 --> 01:04:33,480
Speaker 3: be maybe coming around saying, you're right, I was flirting

1384
01:04:33,640 --> 01:04:37,720
Speaker 3: because whenever a drink we flirt. You shouldn't be doing that. Yeah,

1385
01:04:37,760 --> 01:04:39,920
Speaker 3: And so Opie's saying, you know what I'm giving in

1386
01:04:39,960 --> 01:04:44,080
Speaker 3: a multimatum. It's either no contact with his childhood girlfriend

1387
01:04:44,400 --> 01:04:45,720
Speaker 3: or you lose me.

1388
01:04:46,080 --> 01:04:49,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think there should be a therapy clause

1389
01:04:49,960 --> 01:04:50,520
Speaker 1: on there as well.

1390
01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:52,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, you need therapy and also to go no contact

1391
01:04:52,840 --> 01:04:53,520
Speaker 3: with he.

1392
01:04:53,240 --> 01:04:56,400
Speaker 1: He needs to figure out why his brain is doing

1393
01:04:56,440 --> 01:04:57,680
Speaker 1: this to m Yeah.

1394
01:04:57,720 --> 01:04:59,880
Speaker 3: But that's the end of that story, so let's get

1395
01:04:59,880 --> 01:05:01,280
Speaker 3: in to the next one.

1396
01:05:01,400 --> 01:05:05,000
Speaker 1: On to the next. My wife was horrific at dinner

1397
01:05:05,040 --> 01:05:08,560
Speaker 1: with our son's girlfriend. I told her she's the same

1398
01:05:08,600 --> 01:05:09,560
Speaker 1: as her parents.

1399
01:05:09,600 --> 01:05:13,280
Speaker 3: Ooh uh, I'm hitting her with the you're just like

1400
01:05:13,360 --> 01:05:13,760
Speaker 3: your mom.

1401
01:05:14,040 --> 01:05:17,960
Speaker 1: I think we might have some traditional values incoming. I

1402
01:05:18,160 --> 01:05:21,840
Speaker 1: fifty three male, am my wife of thirty years, Naomi,

1403
01:05:22,040 --> 01:05:25,560
Speaker 1: is Japanese. We have three kids. This story focuses on

1404
01:05:25,640 --> 01:05:28,600
Speaker 1: my oldest son, Kyle, who's twenty eight. When Kyle first

1405
01:05:28,640 --> 01:05:31,240
Speaker 1: got to college, he began dating a Japanese girl and

1406
01:05:31,280 --> 01:05:34,000
Speaker 1: when he introduced her to my wife, Naomi loved her.

1407
01:05:34,080 --> 01:05:36,240
Speaker 1: They didn't end up working out, but for the past

1408
01:05:36,400 --> 01:05:39,760
Speaker 1: three years, my son has been seeing Danny, a black girl.

1409
01:05:39,800 --> 01:05:42,360
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from user ok Butterfly thirty

1410
01:05:42,400 --> 01:05:45,400
Speaker 1: eight twenty on the r slash Okay Storytime subreddit. So

1411
01:05:45,480 --> 01:05:48,200
Speaker 1: my son was in medical school across the country, and

1412
01:05:48,280 --> 01:05:51,040
Speaker 1: he ended up meeting Danny because they were both volunteers

1413
01:05:51,040 --> 01:05:53,120
Speaker 1: at a soup kitchen. That's so sweet, What a wonderful

1414
01:05:53,120 --> 01:05:56,280
Speaker 1: place to meet somebody so nice. I remember the first

1415
01:05:56,320 --> 01:05:59,240
Speaker 1: time he sent a picture of her, my wife immediately

1416
01:05:59,280 --> 01:06:01,280
Speaker 1: didn't like her. I'm going to try to phrase this

1417
01:06:01,360 --> 01:06:04,800
Speaker 1: with out sounding ignorant myself, but she looks like the

1418
01:06:05,000 --> 01:06:09,720
Speaker 1: urban black girl most think of when African American women.

1419
01:06:09,880 --> 01:06:12,400
Speaker 1: He's like, if you think of a stereotype, she looks

1420
01:06:12,400 --> 01:06:15,120
Speaker 1: like a stereotype. You sound a little bit ignorant. That

1421
01:06:15,160 --> 01:06:15,960
Speaker 1: sounds pretty rough.

1422
01:06:16,120 --> 01:06:18,600
Speaker 3: He sounds like, you try to avoid sounding ignorant, and

1423
01:06:18,680 --> 01:06:19,880
Speaker 3: kind of fell right into it.

1424
01:06:19,960 --> 01:06:23,240
Speaker 1: Well, let's see, he explains. She has the big hoop

1425
01:06:23,320 --> 01:06:26,600
Speaker 1: ear rings, the long nails, the long eyelashes. I think

1426
01:06:26,640 --> 01:06:27,360
Speaker 1: she looks stunning.

1427
01:06:27,400 --> 01:06:29,560
Speaker 3: It was like, I think she looks great, think she

1428
01:06:29,640 --> 01:06:30,360
Speaker 3: looks stunning.

1429
01:06:30,560 --> 01:06:33,320
Speaker 1: But I've never been in a situation where I was

1430
01:06:33,680 --> 01:06:37,800
Speaker 1: involved in African American culture. Recently, my son moved back

1431
01:06:37,840 --> 01:06:40,480
Speaker 1: to our city for residency, and Danny moved with him

1432
01:06:40,520 --> 01:06:43,480
Speaker 1: and started law school. They were staying in an airbnb

1433
01:06:43,760 --> 01:06:46,200
Speaker 1: while looking for a place, and this week they finally

1434
01:06:46,240 --> 01:06:48,600
Speaker 1: found one, so they invited us over for dinner. Danny

1435
01:06:48,600 --> 01:06:52,640
Speaker 1: cooked soul food and this stuff was amazing. I complimented

1436
01:06:52,640 --> 01:06:55,919
Speaker 1: her food, and my wife gave me the side eye.

1437
01:06:56,040 --> 01:06:56,360
Speaker 3: Girl.

1438
01:06:56,440 --> 01:07:00,000
Speaker 1: Why oh, I think I'm just gonna say Naomi's racist

1439
01:07:00,080 --> 01:07:03,600
Speaker 1: calling it. Naomi then pulled out her phone and asked Danny,

1440
01:07:03,760 --> 01:07:05,680
Speaker 1: why does she dress like that? And why was she

1441
01:07:05,840 --> 01:07:09,720
Speaker 1: tworking in public? Kyle asked his mom what her problem was,

1442
01:07:09,840 --> 01:07:13,360
Speaker 1: and then I took the phone to scroll through Danny's Instagram.

1443
01:07:13,400 --> 01:07:15,720
Speaker 1: While she did have some photos of her having fun,

1444
01:07:15,840 --> 01:07:18,720
Speaker 1: she also had plenty of pictures of her academic achievements.

1445
01:07:18,760 --> 01:07:21,600
Speaker 1: Before Danny could answer, I told my wife that Danny

1446
01:07:21,680 --> 01:07:23,919
Speaker 1: is young and having fun. I asked, did she see

1447
01:07:23,920 --> 01:07:26,720
Speaker 1: that Danny graduated cum laude or all the times that

1448
01:07:26,760 --> 01:07:29,600
Speaker 1: she volunteered. My wife looked angry that I would bring

1449
01:07:29,640 --> 01:07:32,320
Speaker 1: that up. Naomi then said that she thinks that Danny

1450
01:07:32,400 --> 01:07:34,320
Speaker 1: isn't good enough for our son.

1451
01:07:34,360 --> 01:07:36,280
Speaker 3: At dinner in front of her.

1452
01:07:36,880 --> 01:07:40,440
Speaker 1: Do you mean the girl he met voluntari super.

1453
01:07:40,240 --> 01:07:42,760
Speaker 3: Kitchen, volunteering at the soup kitchen, and you're gonna be

1454
01:07:42,840 --> 01:07:45,400
Speaker 3: like that girl's not the magna cum laude.

1455
01:07:45,560 --> 01:07:46,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, not good enough.

1456
01:07:46,480 --> 01:07:46,760
Speaker 3: Come on.

1457
01:07:46,920 --> 01:07:50,960
Speaker 1: Danny then asked why Naomi loved Kyle's ex so much.

1458
01:07:51,120 --> 01:07:54,400
Speaker 1: She didn't graduate with honors. She has many different boys

1459
01:07:54,440 --> 01:07:56,760
Speaker 1: that she posted on social media. Danny then said it

1460
01:07:56,840 --> 01:07:59,640
Speaker 1: was evident that the reason Naomi doesn't like her is

1461
01:07:59,680 --> 01:08:03,120
Speaker 1: because of her race. She's just putting it out there.

1462
01:08:03,160 --> 01:08:04,280
Speaker 3: Wait read the next line.

1463
01:08:04,960 --> 01:08:08,840
Speaker 1: Naomi doubled down. Oh god. Naomi doubled down and said,

1464
01:08:09,040 --> 01:08:13,560
Speaker 1: so what. I have never heard Kyle even disrespect his

1465
01:08:13,680 --> 01:08:17,200
Speaker 1: mother before, but he told her to get the f out. Yeah,

1466
01:08:17,240 --> 01:08:20,479
Speaker 1: good job, Kyle, Good on you. Your mom gets viciously racist,

1467
01:08:20,600 --> 01:08:22,759
Speaker 1: you gotta tell her to get the f out. Naomi

1468
01:08:22,880 --> 01:08:25,439
Speaker 1: left crying in the car. On the ride home, I

1469
01:08:25,600 --> 01:08:28,720
Speaker 1: asked her what was her problem? She asked why I

1470
01:08:29,040 --> 01:08:33,040
Speaker 1: didn't defend her whoa I said, because she was being racist, racist,

1471
01:08:33,120 --> 01:08:36,160
Speaker 1: and a hypocrite, and she's acting just like her parents.

1472
01:08:36,520 --> 01:08:39,280
Speaker 1: Her parents didn't like me because I was white. She

1473
01:08:39,520 --> 01:08:42,280
Speaker 1: just said it's different and was just silent on the

1474
01:08:42,280 --> 01:08:44,559
Speaker 1: way home. And when we got to the house, she

1475
01:08:44,640 --> 01:08:47,519
Speaker 1: locked herself in her room and started crying. I can't

1476
01:08:47,520 --> 01:08:50,280
Speaker 1: feel bad for her, because if someone disrespected my wife

1477
01:08:50,320 --> 01:08:53,559
Speaker 1: the way she disrespected Danny I would have absolutely done

1478
01:08:53,640 --> 01:08:56,120
Speaker 1: the exact same thing that Kyle did. But am I

1479
01:08:56,160 --> 01:08:59,439
Speaker 1: the a hole because I was also harsh towards her

1480
01:08:59,600 --> 01:09:00,640
Speaker 1: in this situation.

1481
01:09:00,960 --> 01:09:03,439
Speaker 3: No, No, you're not the a hole. Your wife was

1482
01:09:03,439 --> 01:09:04,280
Speaker 3: being racist.

1483
01:09:04,560 --> 01:09:06,160
Speaker 1: Your wife was like, yeah, I don't like you because

1484
01:09:06,160 --> 01:09:08,360
Speaker 1: you're black, So what And then yeah, oh, it's like

1485
01:09:08,400 --> 01:09:11,519
Speaker 1: that's not anything you ever get behind. You don't at

1486
01:09:11,520 --> 01:09:14,759
Speaker 1: the back of your wife when she gets racist. Yeah,

1487
01:09:14,840 --> 01:09:17,040
Speaker 1: sometimes we have to support your partner.

1488
01:09:17,240 --> 01:09:20,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, sometimes when they're actually going crazy, you don't have

1489
01:09:20,640 --> 01:09:21,559
Speaker 3: to support their partner.

1490
01:09:21,600 --> 01:09:25,000
Speaker 1: Here's some comments with replies from ok not the a hole,

1491
01:09:25,080 --> 01:09:27,439
Speaker 1: not to Priye, but you've obviously been with your wife

1492
01:09:27,479 --> 01:09:29,760
Speaker 1: for twenty plus years. How is it possible that you

1493
01:09:29,840 --> 01:09:33,240
Speaker 1: didn't know she's virulently racist until now. There was never

1494
01:09:33,320 --> 01:09:36,880
Speaker 1: a situation where we were directly involved with African Americans.

1495
01:09:36,960 --> 01:09:39,960
Speaker 1: She's never displayed this type of behavior. Racism is not

1496
01:09:40,040 --> 01:09:43,360
Speaker 1: a preference. Okay, ohp continues, Racism is not a preference,

1497
01:09:43,360 --> 01:09:45,800
Speaker 1: and it's not even about her, it's about my son.

1498
01:09:45,920 --> 01:09:48,840
Speaker 1: Supporting racism is never something I'll do, and that's not

1499
01:09:48,880 --> 01:09:51,760
Speaker 1: why I asked. I'm never going to be sympathetic towards her.

1500
01:09:51,880 --> 01:09:54,240
Speaker 1: I asked if I was too harsh, not if I

1501
01:09:54,360 --> 01:09:56,720
Speaker 1: was wrong. This is a horrible mentality, And at the

1502
01:09:56,800 --> 01:09:59,439
Speaker 1: end of the day, my wife is apparently racist. I'm

1503
01:09:59,479 --> 01:10:02,760
Speaker 1: not about to t and understand that that's crazy. Could

1504
01:10:02,800 --> 01:10:05,840
Speaker 1: I have been kinder? Absolutely? Could I understand where she's

1505
01:10:05,880 --> 01:10:09,599
Speaker 1: coming from, Absolutely not, especially given our situation. I've had

1506
01:10:09,640 --> 01:10:12,400
Speaker 1: contact with plenty of black people. They have never been

1507
01:10:12,479 --> 01:10:15,559
Speaker 1: intricately involved in our lives. Like her siblings never dated

1508
01:10:15,560 --> 01:10:18,320
Speaker 1: black people. Neither has anyone in my family. The closest

1509
01:10:18,320 --> 01:10:20,920
Speaker 1: person would be my middle child's best friend, and they

1510
01:10:20,960 --> 01:10:23,280
Speaker 1: didn't really connect until the middle of high school. And

1511
01:10:23,360 --> 01:10:25,160
Speaker 1: now we have an update, and I hope that this

1512
01:10:25,280 --> 01:10:29,000
Speaker 1: update involves your wife.

1513
01:10:29,760 --> 01:10:31,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think a lot.

1514
01:10:31,320 --> 01:10:32,920
Speaker 1: To say, it sounds like it's learned behavior too.

1515
01:10:33,040 --> 01:10:34,240
Speaker 3: Yeah from the parents.

1516
01:10:34,280 --> 01:10:35,760
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, I learned that.

1517
01:10:36,280 --> 01:10:39,200
Speaker 3: When you have that background of people telling you you

1518
01:10:39,240 --> 01:10:42,880
Speaker 3: know all of these things, you have to actively work

1519
01:10:42,920 --> 01:10:45,400
Speaker 3: against it. And some people don't do that active work.

1520
01:10:45,439 --> 01:10:47,479
Speaker 1: Here's the update. So I want to mention a couple

1521
01:10:47,520 --> 01:10:50,880
Speaker 1: of things. First Off, I've been around black people, guys, guys.

1522
01:10:51,000 --> 01:10:53,519
Speaker 1: I'd like to say I've had sheby black friends in

1523
01:10:53,560 --> 01:10:56,719
Speaker 1: my life. They were never part of my inner circle

1524
01:10:56,800 --> 01:10:58,880
Speaker 1: until Danny came along. All right, So I actually scratched

1525
01:10:58,880 --> 01:11:02,080
Speaker 1: that I've never had black friend, but I am I've

1526
01:11:02,080 --> 01:11:02,840
Speaker 1: seen black people.

1527
01:11:03,080 --> 01:11:03,280
Speaker 3: Yes.

1528
01:11:03,520 --> 01:11:05,880
Speaker 1: Also, I think that it's stupid that tworking has a

1529
01:11:05,880 --> 01:11:08,920
Speaker 1: negative connotation. It's just dancing. And the video that my

1530
01:11:08,960 --> 01:11:11,719
Speaker 1: wife found Danny in was at a nightclub. She wasn't

1531
01:11:11,760 --> 01:11:16,679
Speaker 1: at church dancing that way. We're twork positive here, Yeah, okay, storytime, Yeah.

1532
01:11:16,520 --> 01:11:18,840
Speaker 3: We love it. That's why Keon comes on.

1533
01:11:19,560 --> 01:11:22,840
Speaker 1: That's why we hired Kia. My daughter Ari and her

1534
01:11:22,840 --> 01:11:26,320
Speaker 1: mom are very close. So I asked her to breakfast

1535
01:11:26,360 --> 01:11:29,040
Speaker 1: today and we talked. I just asked her if she

1536
01:11:29,120 --> 01:11:31,880
Speaker 1: knew her mom to be racist. She asked why, and

1537
01:11:31,960 --> 01:11:34,200
Speaker 1: I told her about the incident with Danny. Ary told

1538
01:11:34,200 --> 01:11:36,679
Speaker 1: me everything makes sense now.

1539
01:11:37,240 --> 01:11:41,400
Speaker 3: She's a oh, that's why all those times when I

1540
01:11:41,439 --> 01:11:43,439
Speaker 3: thought she was being racist, she was.

1541
01:11:43,760 --> 01:11:46,719
Speaker 1: She's like, everything just clicked. That was the last piece

1542
01:11:46,760 --> 01:11:49,080
Speaker 1: of the puzzle. She said it was subtle. But when

1543
01:11:49,080 --> 01:11:51,599
Speaker 1: she was in high school, she lost a chess match

1544
01:11:51,720 --> 01:11:55,160
Speaker 1: to a Hispanic boy and Naomi said he must have cheated.

1545
01:11:55,720 --> 01:11:58,200
Speaker 1: But during another round when she lost to a white girl,

1546
01:11:58,280 --> 01:11:59,840
Speaker 1: her mom just said that she was.

1547
01:12:00,520 --> 01:12:01,960
Speaker 3: So subtle, So subtle.

1548
01:12:02,200 --> 01:12:05,160
Speaker 1: Mmm. She listed a few other incidents, but it was

1549
01:12:05,160 --> 01:12:07,439
Speaker 1: not hard to see Ari come to the realization her

1550
01:12:07,439 --> 01:12:09,360
Speaker 1: mom is not who she thought she was are. We

1551
01:12:09,400 --> 01:12:12,599
Speaker 1: then explained how this is bad because Kyle told her

1552
01:12:12,680 --> 01:12:17,360
Speaker 1: how he was about to propose soon. Oh, mom's not

1553
01:12:17,400 --> 01:12:18,200
Speaker 1: going to that wedding.

1554
01:12:18,320 --> 01:12:20,080
Speaker 3: Oh, no, is.

1555
01:12:20,200 --> 01:12:21,200
Speaker 1: Not invited to the wedding.

1556
01:12:21,280 --> 01:12:22,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, don't invite her, I guess.

1557
01:12:22,720 --> 01:12:25,200
Speaker 1: Ari talked to her before I could, because my wife

1558
01:12:25,280 --> 01:12:27,719
Speaker 1: asked me, how could I bring the kids into this argument.

1559
01:12:27,880 --> 01:12:30,320
Speaker 1: I said, this argument is about their brother. Our kids

1560
01:12:30,320 --> 01:12:32,559
Speaker 1: are very close, so they were going to find out eventually.

1561
01:12:32,640 --> 01:12:35,680
Speaker 1: I said, since she's done crying, does she want to

1562
01:12:35,720 --> 01:12:37,840
Speaker 1: explain what last night was all about?

1563
01:12:38,000 --> 01:12:41,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, let's talk. Since you're done crying about being racist,

1564
01:12:41,960 --> 01:12:44,280
Speaker 3: can you explain yourself please?

1565
01:12:44,560 --> 01:12:48,040
Speaker 1: She said, it's not that serious. I thought, how if

1566
01:12:48,080 --> 01:12:50,240
Speaker 1: my son and Danny got married and had kids, I

1567
01:12:50,240 --> 01:12:53,040
Speaker 1: wouldn't be involved if I chose to stay with Naomi,

1568
01:12:53,320 --> 01:12:55,200
Speaker 1: And that's not a chance I was willing to take.

1569
01:12:55,479 --> 01:12:58,280
Speaker 1: So I packed my bag and told Naomi, if she's

1570
01:12:58,320 --> 01:13:01,120
Speaker 1: not even willing to talk to me, I can't stay

1571
01:13:01,120 --> 01:13:04,080
Speaker 1: in this relationship. She said, stop before I left out

1572
01:13:04,080 --> 01:13:07,000
Speaker 1: the door and started crying again. She admitted to having

1573
01:13:07,120 --> 01:13:10,839
Speaker 1: racist tendencies. She also admitted that she's jealous of Danny.

1574
01:13:11,000 --> 01:13:13,960
Speaker 1: She said she was supposed to succeed like her and

1575
01:13:14,000 --> 01:13:17,080
Speaker 1: be smart like her. She said, it's not fair. Ah,

1576
01:13:17,120 --> 01:13:19,240
Speaker 1: so you're like, I'm supposed to be better than her.

1577
01:13:19,520 --> 01:13:25,280
Speaker 1: I'm ah, she's gonna be lawyer, wonderful person who's like

1578
01:13:25,960 --> 01:13:30,559
Speaker 1: volunteering at the soup kitchen. And I'm a terrible, stupid, bigot, Yeah,

1579
01:13:30,640 --> 01:13:33,080
Speaker 1: who has done nothing with my life except make children.

1580
01:13:33,120 --> 01:13:35,800
Speaker 1: I guess I said it was fair because you freaking

1581
01:13:35,880 --> 01:13:39,960
Speaker 1: stuck growing up. My wife was not poor or had

1582
01:13:40,000 --> 01:13:42,759
Speaker 1: it hard by any means. She had access to tutors,

1583
01:13:42,800 --> 01:13:45,479
Speaker 1: to the best school. I said, that's a sad and

1584
01:13:45,840 --> 01:13:48,880
Speaker 1: pathetic excuse, Like too bad? Is that what she? So

1585
01:13:48,960 --> 01:13:51,040
Speaker 1: she tried to cry and be like, you don't understand.

1586
01:13:51,200 --> 01:13:53,840
Speaker 1: It's just she's so much better than me. So I hate.

1587
01:13:54,840 --> 01:13:56,040
Speaker 3: Well that's why I'm racist.

1588
01:13:56,520 --> 01:14:00,000
Speaker 1: But you know what we'll never find pathetic is you

1589
01:14:00,120 --> 01:14:04,200
Speaker 1: joining us when we go live every weekd at three

1590
01:14:04,240 --> 01:14:08,800
Speaker 1: pm on YouTube, on Facebook, on TikTok, on Twitch. Just

1591
01:14:08,840 --> 01:14:10,320
Speaker 1: tap our profile and you're in.

1592
01:14:10,520 --> 01:14:12,599
Speaker 3: And if you're watching this, we might be live right now.

1593
01:14:12,640 --> 01:14:16,280
Speaker 1: She then said she was losing both of us to Danny.

1594
01:14:16,439 --> 01:14:19,679
Speaker 1: I asked how she talked about how I complimented Danny's

1595
01:14:19,680 --> 01:14:22,880
Speaker 1: cooking but don't like Japanese food. I explain how I'm

1596
01:14:22,960 --> 01:14:25,080
Speaker 1: just not a fan of Japanese food. I will eat

1597
01:14:25,120 --> 01:14:26,880
Speaker 1: it when she makes it, but it can't be about

1598
01:14:26,880 --> 01:14:29,880
Speaker 1: the food. Because she already had a problem before we

1599
01:14:29,920 --> 01:14:32,080
Speaker 1: got there. I told her I'm leaving and that until

1600
01:14:32,120 --> 01:14:35,000
Speaker 1: she changes her ways or gets help, I'm not coming back,

1601
01:14:35,040 --> 01:14:37,680
Speaker 1: and I'm getting a divorce if she doesn't apologize to

1602
01:14:37,760 --> 01:14:40,960
Speaker 1: Danny and mean it. I've just been driving around since

1603
01:14:41,000 --> 01:14:43,720
Speaker 1: that conversation, and I'm hurt that the love of my

1604
01:14:43,800 --> 01:14:47,080
Speaker 1: life is not who I thought she was. Damn. And

1605
01:14:47,120 --> 01:14:50,160
Speaker 1: that is the end of that story. Cha. I think

1606
01:14:50,200 --> 01:14:54,120
Speaker 1: separation period is required. The only way to sort of

1607
01:14:54,680 --> 01:14:58,920
Speaker 1: salvage the marriage is that you separate and let her

1608
01:14:59,000 --> 01:15:01,920
Speaker 1: try to grow and chat at a distance, because it

1609
01:15:02,080 --> 01:15:04,600
Speaker 1: is like, I don't know my I thought that I

1610
01:15:04,760 --> 01:15:06,240
Speaker 1: was married to the love of my life. Turns out

1611
01:15:06,280 --> 01:15:09,400
Speaker 1: I didn't even know. I'm now re evaluating everything that

1612
01:15:09,479 --> 01:15:13,200
Speaker 1: my wife has ever said or done, which is that's

1613
01:15:13,240 --> 01:15:13,479
Speaker 1: bad

1614
01:15:13,680 --> 01:15:14,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, I can't do that.