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Speaker 1: This is Kelly Henderson and you're listening to the Velvet

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Speaker 1: Edge podcast. I often get asked what my favorite episodes

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Speaker 1: on the Velvet Edge podcasts are, and it's honestly such

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Speaker 1: a hard question for me to answer because each episode

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Speaker 1: has truly meant something completely different to me. However, it

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Speaker 1: is the holiday season and I wanted to take this

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Speaker 1: time to share some of my top episodes with you

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Speaker 1: guys where I feel I truly connected with the person

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Speaker 1: I was interviewing and walked away with many new lessons learned.

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Speaker 1: Some of these topics are directly related to the things

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Speaker 1: I've personally personally gone through or am going through. Others

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Speaker 1: are just amazing lessons of life. Today's episode is with

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Speaker 1: Dr Judith Orloff, a psychiatrist and EmPATH who has written

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Speaker 1: many books about the gifts of being an EmPATH and

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Speaker 1: exactly what that is. I have always been highly empathetic

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Speaker 1: and have often found it hard to navigate through life

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Speaker 1: carrying around not only my own but other people's emotions

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Speaker 1: as well. Dr Orloff gave me some understanding of what

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Speaker 1: being an impath truly means and how to use it

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Speaker 1: as an as set. Here's our conversation. Okay, so we

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Speaker 1: can just go ahead and get started. Um. I have

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Speaker 1: to tell you that when I first started reading your book,

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Speaker 1: The Impaths Through Level Guide, I was sobbing within the

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Speaker 1: first four pages. Oh I have I've never I've always

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Speaker 1: kind of thought maybe I had empathic tendencies, but I've

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Speaker 1: never had someone explain it so well or put into

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Speaker 1: words what I was feeling. Um, so thank you. That

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Speaker 1: was it was much needed for me. Oh, you're very welcome.

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Speaker 1: I'm so glad that my words resonated. There are so

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Speaker 1: many of us empaths out there that no, we need

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Speaker 1: to know we're not alone. Right. So you are a

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Speaker 1: certified psychologist, but you're so passionate about the topic of

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Speaker 1: impats because you yourself or an impath and you've had

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Speaker 1: to learn some I'm actually a psychiatrist and empty so yeah,

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Speaker 1: and so I'm also an impath. So I combine my

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Speaker 1: psychiatric skills with being an EmPATH, which is a perfect

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Speaker 1: perfect combination. Um. But my process of becoming an EmPATH

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Speaker 1: has an empowered EmPATH has been a long one because

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Speaker 1: I grew up believing there was something wrong with me,

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Speaker 1: and I always fantasized that a spaceship would come and

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Speaker 1: land in my front yard and take me away to

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Speaker 1: my true home because I didn't really connect, you know,

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Speaker 1: to other people or know any other EmPATH growing up.

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Speaker 1: What do you mean you felt like something was wrong

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Speaker 1: with you? I felt that my ability to um sense

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Speaker 1: energy or be intuitive, or to be so sensitive to light, smells, sounds, talking,

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Speaker 1: or being able to absorb other people's emotions into my

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Speaker 1: own body, I didn't know what's going on. And so

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Speaker 1: my parents, who are both physicians, told me, oh, dear,

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Speaker 1: you just need to get a thicker skin, and oh,

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Speaker 1: you're overly sensitive, which made me feel like there was

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Speaker 1: something wrong with me. Um. And so, you know, I

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Speaker 1: grew up, you know, feeling you know, not seen with

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Speaker 1: a capital s and empaths need to be seen. Empathic

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Speaker 1: children need to be seen. They need to be guided

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Speaker 1: and nurtured and encouraged and educated. And I had none

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Speaker 1: of that, even though both my parents were physicians and

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Speaker 1: I come from twenty five physicians in my family. UM,

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Speaker 1: I felt alone. And I think that's a common feeling

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Speaker 1: that many empathic children have, and I write about that

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Speaker 1: in the Empast Survival Guide. How many empathic children just

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Speaker 1: feel so isolated and don't connect and withdraw inside of themselves.

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Speaker 1: And so it's just I bring this up because it's

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Speaker 1: a very common experience. If you identify as an EmPATH.

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Speaker 1: Here's an emotional sponge who tends to be very sensitive

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Speaker 1: and loving and open, but you take on the angst

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Speaker 1: in the stress of other people, you know, as well

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Speaker 1: as the pot that if you resonate with the positive.

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Speaker 1: But the EmPATH don't have the normal filters that people

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Speaker 1: have and so we feel everything right. Can you explain

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Speaker 1: what the difference between just having empathy and being an

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Speaker 1: EmPATH are? Yeah. Empathy is that beautiful, precious quality of

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Speaker 1: being able to have your heart go out to somebody

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Speaker 1: enjoy or in pain, and to really feel for them

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Speaker 1: and their experiences. But being an EmPATH goes further than that.

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Speaker 1: You feel for them, but then you actually can take

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Speaker 1: it on in your own body. Were almost become them

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Speaker 1: and empaths. One of the tools I talked about in

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Speaker 1: my book, which is so essential, is how not to

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Speaker 1: take on other people's stress, emotions or anything else they're experiencing,

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Speaker 1: you know, and how to hold a space for someone

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Speaker 1: but not take on the stress. That's a powerful tool

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Speaker 1: for empaths to learn, and most of them don't learn

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Speaker 1: unless they get specific education. And that's why I wrote

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Speaker 1: the book, because this liberates. Once you learn these tools,

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Speaker 1: your life becomes amazing and you can experience the gifts

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Speaker 1: of being an EmPATH. Intuition, the connection to nature, the

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Speaker 1: passion for living, sensuality um, creativity um, being able to

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Speaker 1: sense and know things about people and the earth. You know,

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Speaker 1: all of that is so much fun, and it's I

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Speaker 1: so enjoy being an EmPATH. But if you, you know,

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Speaker 1: if everyone wants to enjoy the beautiful parts of it,

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Speaker 1: you have to learn self care strategies in order to

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Speaker 1: put them into practice so that you don't absorb other

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Speaker 1: people's stuff. Right when you talked about just the weight

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Speaker 1: of that, and that was kind of I think why

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Speaker 1: I started crying when I was first reading the book,

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Speaker 1: because for so many years I've felt that like taking

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Speaker 1: on other people's emotions. But you can't really explain that

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Speaker 1: to someone else who doesn't feel that without sounding for me,

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Speaker 1: I felt like, without sounding crazy, like I just I

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Speaker 1: would come home. I travel a lot for work, and

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Speaker 1: I would come home from these trips and I mean

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Speaker 1: it would take me days to recover. And it's because

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Speaker 1: I was constantly with people and taking on their emotions

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Speaker 1: and like all of the weight of that. Even if

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Speaker 1: I'm in a really good place in my life, I

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Speaker 1: can hear I can be around someone who's going through

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Speaker 1: something and have to take days to like grieve that

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Speaker 1: or feel that or all of those things because I'm

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Speaker 1: carrying their emotions exactly exactly. And what if so liberating

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Speaker 1: to learn is if you notice that you're starting to

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Speaker 1: take on somebody else's stuff. Let's say you're with a

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Speaker 1: client and you're picking up their anger, You're picking up there, oh,

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Speaker 1: physical symptoms of some sort, or their their anxiety. Then

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Speaker 1: you could immediately at that point begin to breathe it out,

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Speaker 1: began to take step not to take it on because

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Speaker 1: by this, let's say you're out on the road for

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Speaker 1: a week working on a pride check. By the end

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Speaker 1: of that week, you might be a wreck because you're

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Speaker 1: absorbing so much stuff from everybody, and then it can

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Speaker 1: take days, you know, or even weeks to recover exactly well.

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Speaker 1: You you describe a lot that the impasts are sensitive people.

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Speaker 1: I think even on the cover of the book, it's

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Speaker 1: as life Strategies for sensitive people. But when I think

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Speaker 1: about sensitive, I think kind of like what your parents

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Speaker 1: are saying, like you need to grow a thicker skin.

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Speaker 1: And I think a lot of times that's kind of

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Speaker 1: how it's interpreted in our world, you know, like you

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Speaker 1: just think about sensitive like getting your feelings hurt easily. Um,

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Speaker 1: But what does that mean? Sensitive in regards to an impact,

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Speaker 1: sive or being intastic? Are the traits that are going

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Speaker 1: to save the world. I mean, I feel really passionate

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Speaker 1: about it that's going on, you know, writing about it

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Speaker 1: and talking about its, giving workshops on it. But I

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Speaker 1: I think that this quality in all human beings, except

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Speaker 1: for maybe a few like narcissists or sociopatht or psychopaths,

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Speaker 1: because they don't have emphasy. They have with the deficient

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Speaker 1: disorder um, the empathy inside of you, your ability to

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Speaker 1: feel for somebody else um and see their point of

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Speaker 1: view and see that it's not us versus them, but

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Speaker 1: just one human family. That's what empathy lets you know,

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Speaker 1: and that will save everything. It'll save your relationships, it'll

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Speaker 1: save the planet, It'll save you because you're not always

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Speaker 1: you know, saying oh it's that terrible person out there.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's about how can I be more loving

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Speaker 1: and centered and strong and um passionate and follow through

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Speaker 1: with my dreams without taking on my clients, stuff, my coworkers, stuff,

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Speaker 1: myselfs so you know, my children, how do how do

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Speaker 1: I do that? And that's you know, what the Empast

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Speaker 1: Survival Guide is about, and also thriving as an EmPATH,

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Speaker 1: which is self care strategies every day of the year,

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Speaker 1: six five days and what to do on January for

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Speaker 1: to what to do on June seventeen. Let's do around

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Speaker 1: the holidays, you know, when it gets super stressful and

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Speaker 1: there's so many, so many crowds out there, and people

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Speaker 1: are getting impassed just at a horrible time because they

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Speaker 1: impass also tend to like one to one interactions or

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Speaker 1: small groups rather than large crowded stadiums or crowded shopping malls.

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Speaker 1: You know, we tend to absorb the energy and crowded

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Speaker 1: places because there's so many people there, um and so

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Speaker 1: over the holidays in particular, empass needs to learn to

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Speaker 1: follow their own intuition and you know, be with one person,

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Speaker 1: be with your animals, do whatever you want, and you

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Speaker 1: don't have to go out and big crowds necessarily, you know,

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Speaker 1: buy if you're gonna buy present, site them online. I

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Speaker 1: don't know, but there are lots of lots of loving

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Speaker 1: kind of strategies to practice over times that are particularly

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Speaker 1: over social, with a lot of expectations to fit in

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Speaker 1: a particular way of being. Right, Well, if impaths are

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Speaker 1: going to save the world, let's talk about how people

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Speaker 1: become impaths. Are our impaths? Because I have so many

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Speaker 1: questions about this um Is it something? Because there's a

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Speaker 1: lot in the book about you know, children who go

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Speaker 1: through trauma, or maybe children who grew up in alcoholic families,

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Speaker 1: possibly bringing or adopting some of those characteristics of an

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Speaker 1: impath because you have to kind of guess people's emotions

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Speaker 1: all the time and all of those kind of things.

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Speaker 1: But is this something you're born with or do you

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Speaker 1: learn it? Or is it both? Like how does that work? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: It can, It depends on the case. I mean, some

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Speaker 1: children are born impass right. When I did my medical

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Speaker 1: training at USC, I was working O B G N

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Speaker 1: and no deliver babies, and babies come out so differently.

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Speaker 1: Some are like little Buddhist sensing and feeling, and others

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Speaker 1: are like more closed and more protected, more guarded. It's

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Speaker 1: just so interesting. So I think genetics has a lot

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Speaker 1: to do with it. What we bring into this life

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Speaker 1: when we're born. Sometimes the birth experience can affect it.

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Speaker 1: If you have a traumatic birth, you know that that

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Speaker 1: can already begin to break down your barriers. Well, a

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Speaker 1: traumatic birth is what happens at birth. It's really important,

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Speaker 1: you know, how we enter this very coarse life, you know,

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Speaker 1: the earth point and how we enter this from where

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Speaker 1: we were before, you know, is critical, and so that

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Speaker 1: can affect our sensitivities, and so it can be genetic,

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Speaker 1: it can be environmental. Um you could have empathic parents

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Speaker 1: and you could learn to be empathic that way, that's

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Speaker 1: the positive side of you know, having empathic parents, as

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Speaker 1: you can learn empathy and they could support empathy in you.

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Speaker 1: But let's say you have an alcoholic parents or an

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Speaker 1: artististic parent, then you probably weren't seen as a little

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Speaker 1: girl or a little boy, and so you're beautiful talent

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Speaker 1: of empathy and sensitivity and intuitions were not seen and

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Speaker 1: probably they were denigrated and squashed now, which is a

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Speaker 1: trauma in and of itself. And so a lot of

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Speaker 1: empaths grow up and have ptsd um, either from actual

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Speaker 1: emotional or physical abuse or just from not being seen

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Speaker 1: and not being recognized for who you are. That can

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Speaker 1: cause a sort of trauma as well that needs to

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Speaker 1: be healed as an adult, and of course it can

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Speaker 1: be healed. And so much of it has to do

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Speaker 1: with inner child work, in reclaiming that beautiful child who

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Speaker 1: has left somewhere and somehow in your past wherever the

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Speaker 1: trauma occurred, and the work that I do with patients,

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Speaker 1: and also in thriving as an EmPATH. I have a

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Speaker 1: technique of reclaiming going back, doing a visualization going back

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Speaker 1: and reclaiming that beautiful empathic child is stuck in some

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Speaker 1: house that you lived in, and so you need to

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Speaker 1: go back and find the house where the trauma happened

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Speaker 1: and reclaim the child, bring the child back home with

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Speaker 1: you now and say I will never allow you to

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Speaker 1: be hurt again like that. So it's powerful. I'm making

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Speaker 1: it short, but it's powerful inner child work that many

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Speaker 1: empaths need to do to reclaim It's almost like a

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Speaker 1: lost part of their should or empathic child, you know,

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Speaker 1: and bring that back into their life now, which is

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Speaker 1: so exciting you know and wonderful and deliberating. Right, what's

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Speaker 1: the difference is or is there a difference between that

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Speaker 1: kind of EmPATH healing and just maybe a person who

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Speaker 1: doesn't identify as an impath who grew up in a

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Speaker 1: dysfunctional household or is it a similar process. It's similar,

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Speaker 1: but the dynamics are a bit different because the emp

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Speaker 1: half child is if you can imagine a sponge or

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Speaker 1: just an open system, you know, without any barriers, without

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Speaker 1: any filters, and you can imagine how the intensity of

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Speaker 1: the experience is upped. And plus the the EmPATH child

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Speaker 1: often wants to make it better for the parents because

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Speaker 1: empaths empaths want to help, They want to make it better,

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Speaker 1: and so the impath child often takes on try, you know,

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Speaker 1: the anxiety as the parents. You know, I did that

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Speaker 1: with my mother. She was very anxious and I would

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Speaker 1: hold her hands and that energy would go into me.

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Speaker 1: And so as an adult, you know, I really had

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Speaker 1: to work in my own healing process about you know,

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Speaker 1: that was my mother, not me, and to have clear

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Speaker 1: boundaries with that. But you know, that's the work that

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Speaker 1: some empaths need to do, depending on their parenting. Right. Oh,

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Speaker 1: it's all possible. You know, all of this is so

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Speaker 1: doable and it's so liberating. But these are just some

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Speaker 1: of the dynamics that you know, I work with as

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Speaker 1: a psychiatrist with my patients, and I write about UM

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Speaker 1: and they're also doable because when you begin to work

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Speaker 1: with self healing in this way, you are free. You know,

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Speaker 1: you don't have all that win on you anymore. And

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Speaker 1: if you learn how not to take on other people's

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Speaker 1: stuff and you really practice, not a lot is liberating

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Speaker 1: in and of itself, right, And you have so many

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Speaker 1: UM scenarios and techniques in the book of just little

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Speaker 1: visualizations you can do while you're in the moment. I mean,

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Speaker 1: for me, that's such a huge thing. Even when you're

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Speaker 1: talking about your experience with your mother, I mean, I

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Speaker 1: think for years I've been carrying so many different emotions

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Speaker 1: that probably aren't even mine, and through this process of healing,

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Speaker 1: I mean, and it's it's just it's such a big weight.

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Speaker 1: You don't even realize like how exhausting that is. But

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Speaker 1: the chronic fatigue that you talk about a lot in

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Speaker 1: the book, that is something I identified with so much,

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Speaker 1: because no matter what I do or how much sleep

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Speaker 1: I get ie. You of that and I think it's

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Speaker 1: from carrying the weight of emotions. Yeah, it probably is.

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Speaker 1: And so what's so helpful is to journal about you know,

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Speaker 1: maybe two or three people from your childhood where you

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Speaker 1: think you took on their stuff. Was it your mother,

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Speaker 1: was that your sister was a friend, you know, and

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Speaker 1: really begin to sort through what's really me, what is

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Speaker 1: really them? And then do have a chord cutting visualization

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Speaker 1: in both books Actually and Thriving as an impass where

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Speaker 1: you can cut the chord energetically between yourself and that person.

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Speaker 1: And it doesn't mean you cut off the relationship. It

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Speaker 1: means you cut off the bond to whatever is draining you,

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Speaker 1: like anxiety. And it's really useful, it really works, but

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Speaker 1: you have to be ready. Yes, you say impasts feel

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Speaker 1: things first and then they think, which is the opposite

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Speaker 1: of how most people function in our over intellectualized society.

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Speaker 1: So can you tell me more about how EmPATH processes

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Speaker 1: processes different scenarios differently than you know, a normal person

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Speaker 1: or a person who isn't empathetic normal? What is normal? Yes,

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Speaker 1: the impast feel empaths are you know, have invisible pendrols,

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Speaker 1: just open feeling that the world's impaths speak the language

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Speaker 1: of energy, subtle energy, which Chinese medical practitioners called she

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Speaker 1: or shocked e um. It's the invisible energy that you

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Speaker 1: know in yoga you activate it in the body with

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Speaker 1: certain asauanas. So it's energy and the body that impasts

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Speaker 1: are exquisitely attuned to, and they begin the world. They

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Speaker 1: approach the world from this energetic standpoint. They don't think

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Speaker 1: their way through the world. They feel their way through

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Speaker 1: the world. First of all. I mean, they also have

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Speaker 1: good intellects, but their first way is to feel somebody

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Speaker 1: as opposed to analyze what they're saying or keeping intellectual distance.

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Speaker 1: If you stand next to somebody in pain, unfortunately, many

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Speaker 1: ham passed to sit there and their hearts go out

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Speaker 1: and they take it on. Or they're going by a

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Speaker 1: homeless you know, community and they look look at it,

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Speaker 1: and the anguish there they take on into themselves, you know.

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Speaker 1: And and so that's just how m passed approach the world.

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Speaker 1: So it's important to learn very clear boundaries, you know,

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Speaker 1: with what you do and who you look deeply and

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Speaker 1: into their eyes. You know, you don't want to look

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Speaker 1: deeply into everybody's eyes because then you know, you'll pick

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Speaker 1: up a lot of stuff that is none of your business.

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Speaker 1: And so it's important to keep clear boundaries with you

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Speaker 1: and other people. I mean just last night for instance, Um,

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Speaker 1: I was out the dinner with a friend and somebody

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Speaker 1: came over and I was introduced to them, and they

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Speaker 1: reached out their hand to shake my hand, and I

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Speaker 1: just said, you know, I don't really shake hands, and

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Speaker 1: they say, okay, no, But the reason I don't is

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Speaker 1: I don't want to feel their energy. You know, I

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Speaker 1: don't wanna. I just don't want to deal with it.

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Speaker 1: It's an intimacy and I'm not interested in the strangers.

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Speaker 1: So it's just the choice they make. So you can

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Speaker 1: pick up stuff just by shaking someone's hand. Yeah, I'm

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Speaker 1: past can that's a there's a shocker and the poem

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Speaker 1: that sends out so much energy and so yeah, either

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Speaker 1: through the hand, through hugging, through eye contact, and so

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Speaker 1: empass needs to be discerning, not paranoid, but discerning about

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Speaker 1: you know who you want to hug, you know who

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Speaker 1: you want to look deep into their eyes. You don't

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Speaker 1: want to look into everybody's eyes because then you connect

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Speaker 1: to their souls basically, and you pick up stuff no,

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Speaker 1: or you know, how much do you want to hug somebody?

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Speaker 1: How much do you want to shake their hands? It's

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Speaker 1: all it's all to you. And you know, in society,

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Speaker 1: we're not used to having these kinds of conversations and

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Speaker 1: the boundary set because they're afraid of you know, person

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Speaker 1: will think I'm impolite or they won't like me. Um.

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Speaker 1: But in my experience, that isn't what happens. It's just

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Speaker 1: so not used to. It's not used to. And I

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Speaker 1: say it's so matter of factly and lovingly. People usually

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Speaker 1: just go okay, and that's it. I mean maybe they

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Speaker 1: talk about it afterwards. I don't know, but you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm good with that. I don't say it like I'm

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Speaker 1: afraid of being judged. I say it like, this is

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Speaker 1: my boundary and please respect it. I mean, you've had

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Speaker 1: a lot of practice though, right because I'm listening to

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Speaker 1: you say that, and I'm thinking of myself. And there's

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Speaker 1: been there's like a specific instance I'm thinking of where

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Speaker 1: a friend of mine was dating a guy who this

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Speaker 1: second he walked in the room, I got um. I

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Speaker 1: couldn't shut it off, Like the energy was so bad

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Speaker 1: to me that I was. I just started reacting when

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Speaker 1: I would, but my reaction was so big and so

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Speaker 1: kind of inappropriate. I felt like then I felt embarrassed

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Speaker 1: and I felt bad for my friend later. But so,

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Speaker 1: how did you learn how to do what you just described? Um?

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Speaker 1: This self protection and self care? Yeah, that's why I

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Speaker 1: feel I wrote this whole book, driving as an EmPATH

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Speaker 1: on self care tech. If you have to learn what

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Speaker 1: your truth is, and it's not always If I could

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Speaker 1: change as an EmPATH, my sensitivity is very each day.

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Speaker 1: Some days I'm more sensitive, or if I'm tired, I

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Speaker 1: have to take more care of myself that are care

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Speaker 1: of myself. Um. But it's just a form of listening

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Speaker 1: to your body. And so I've learned, you know, I've

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Speaker 1: learned how to take care of myself so I could

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Speaker 1: go out with people and enjoy them, you know, and

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Speaker 1: it just takes some practice. I sometimes work with my

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Speaker 1: patients where you know, I'm I'm the stranger, I'm the

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Speaker 1: person out in the world and they're learning how the

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Speaker 1: sit founders with me, you know, so they could get practice.

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Speaker 1: So you could practice with friends. And I'm saying, you know, no,

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Speaker 1: I'm not able to go out, and I thank you

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Speaker 1: for the inpication, you know, Or if you're in an

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Speaker 1: environment like you said, where the energy was bad, where

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Speaker 1: you could excuse yourself, go into the bathroom, meditate for

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Speaker 1: a few minutes, center yourself, and come into that environment

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Speaker 1: in the more sensitive place. Yeah, you know, so you

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Speaker 1: learned these little tricks and they make a huge difference.

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Speaker 1: That would have been a lot better way to deal

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Speaker 1: with it than I did. This was something that was

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Speaker 1: super eye opening for me. But you talked about just

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Speaker 1: bright lights and loud noises, how they can almost be painful,

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Speaker 1: and I've always had or I guess it's just that

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00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:38,240
Speaker 1: we're we're just our senses are so much stronger because

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Speaker 1: like I have to have especially for sleep, it is

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Speaker 1: a whole process for me of there can't be any light,

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Speaker 1: it has to have I have to have a sound machine,

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Speaker 1: so I have consistent noise. I am very sensitive to smells,

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Speaker 1: like I can't handle or I smell something very fast

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Speaker 1: that people would never smell for you know, at all.

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Speaker 1: Even um my phone ringer, I cannot ever have it on.

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Speaker 1: It just gives me anxiety, like the sound of that

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Speaker 1: consistently coming into my space, and that is just that

395
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Speaker 1: was so interesting because I've always just thought I didn't

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Speaker 1: even think about it. I just thought that was I

397
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Speaker 1: didn't think about why I was like that. But what

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00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:23,280
Speaker 1: is that? Um, it's just a sense your sensitivity has

399
00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:27,000
Speaker 1: turned up so that these things that you know, you

400
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:31,240
Speaker 1: that feel on a higher volume than other people to you.

401
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:33,280
Speaker 1: You know, a lot of people are not walk around

402
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:36,520
Speaker 1: them or they you know, are in their heads and

403
00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:38,440
Speaker 1: when they're in they're just in their heads all the time.

404
00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:41,719
Speaker 1: They don't they don't respond in the same way as

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Speaker 1: somebody who's more embodied and you know it has has

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Speaker 1: more sensitivity. But the secret is to honor that. You know,

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Speaker 1: F and M. Path, There's nothing wrong with you. You're

408
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Speaker 1: not quote overly sensitive. You need to have a beautiful

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00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:59,000
Speaker 1: house with low lighting. You need to have the you know,

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00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:02,920
Speaker 1: the tone turned off or down, or have some beautiful chimes,

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00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:06,399
Speaker 1: you know, instead of a horrible ring. Um. You know,

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Speaker 1: you need to have smells that are nice to you,

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00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:12,280
Speaker 1: you know, in your environment. So these are self pair

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Speaker 1: techniques and if it, empacts have a particularly strong sense

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Speaker 1: of smell. And so you know, let's say you go

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Speaker 1: into an elevator and it's skilled as perfume too. Many

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Speaker 1: empacts that can feel like you're being suppitated so strong

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Speaker 1: and awful, and to other people they might say, oh,

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Speaker 1: what a nice smell you see so, And I just

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Speaker 1: want to say, everyone listening, being an EmPATH it's not

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Speaker 1: better or worse than anything else. It's just a particular

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Speaker 1: personality type and way of being in the world that

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Speaker 1: has gotten that hasn't been honored. And that's why I

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Speaker 1: feel so strongly about honoring it so that people are pathologized.

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Speaker 1: Many many empacts come to me, they've been the psychiatrists.

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Speaker 1: They've been diagnosed with panic disorder, a major depression, you know,

427
00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:06,679
Speaker 1: all kinds of things, chronic fatiguing, figo mayalgia, and they

428
00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:10,000
Speaker 1: might have all these things, you know, so called diagnosis,

429
00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:15,080
Speaker 1: you know, the diagnotostic categories. But the underlying diagnosis of

430
00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:18,080
Speaker 1: being an impath was not made and so there was

431
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:23,040
Speaker 1: no technique given to the to these people to work

432
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:27,080
Speaker 1: with not absorbing other people stuff. And when you're on

433
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:30,520
Speaker 1: sensory overload all the time, which happens with many impacts,

434
00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:34,119
Speaker 1: meaning they're just maxed out with their senses, then the

435
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:38,560
Speaker 1: stress hormone begin to flow and then the adrenal glands

436
00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:41,920
Speaker 1: begin to overwork and they tend to get adrenal fatigue,

437
00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:45,000
Speaker 1: and so you know, it's a vicious cycle. But once

438
00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:50,040
Speaker 1: you learn how to turn down the excessive sensory input, oh,

439
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:52,720
Speaker 1: it just feels so good, you know, and you're not

440
00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:56,960
Speaker 1: on overload which is so painful, you know, and most

441
00:25:56,960 --> 00:26:01,040
Speaker 1: of the time you're feeling really wonderful, you know, and

442
00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:04,760
Speaker 1: you can modulate the sensory input that comes in as

443
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:09,520
Speaker 1: opposed to just medicating it. They're like most psychiatric you know,

444
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:13,720
Speaker 1: people do well. Speaking of medicating, you also mentioned that

445
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:17,320
Speaker 1: addiction is very prevalent among impasts. Is it because of

446
00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:19,560
Speaker 1: the sensory overload or we're just trying to turn that

447
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:25,120
Speaker 1: stuff down. Well, sensory overload has a huge role in it.

448
00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:29,439
Speaker 1: And you know, many people become alcohol esthoratics, and you

449
00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:32,920
Speaker 1: know that they go into recovery and they're also recovering impacts.

450
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:37,000
Speaker 1: It has, you know, impacts who have addicted tendencies turned

451
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:40,880
Speaker 1: through drugs and alcohol or food, sex, no any anything

452
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:46,679
Speaker 1: addictive to no amount their sensitivity. And so you know,

453
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:49,640
Speaker 1: there's a chapter in the Empast Survival Guide on empase

454
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:53,800
Speaker 1: and addiction and food addiction in particular, it has. Many

455
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 1: empaths get really really fat because they need the armor

456
00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:01,639
Speaker 1: to protect themselves from a negative energy they're picking up.

457
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:05,560
Speaker 1: And it wouldn't say many, I would say some. Yeah,

458
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:12,399
Speaker 1: So it's like a physical shield, you mean the armor.

459
00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:16,280
Speaker 1: The fat provides armors so you don't feel as much.

460
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:20,200
Speaker 1: There's just more mass between you and the world. And

461
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:24,240
Speaker 1: does old time psychic heelers around the turn of the

462
00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:27,880
Speaker 1: century where typically really really obese women. They weighed three

463
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:30,959
Speaker 1: or four pounds, and they claim they needed to have

464
00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:33,240
Speaker 1: that weight on them in order to do their psychic

465
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:35,240
Speaker 1: work so that they didn't take on the pain of

466
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:40,080
Speaker 1: their clients. Mm hmm. No, I don't believe that you

467
00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:43,359
Speaker 1: need the weight on you and I know pretty thin.

468
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:46,480
Speaker 1: But you know, there's a section in the book on

469
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:50,639
Speaker 1: impounds and food with you know, a bunch of techniques

470
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:56,480
Speaker 1: to use other than eating to protect yourself. Let's talk

471
00:27:56,520 --> 00:28:01,439
Speaker 1: about empaths and relationships because this was super mind blowing

472
00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:06,199
Speaker 1: section to me. Um. You mentioned that a lot of

473
00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:14,440
Speaker 1: impaths are attracted to unavailable people. Why right, Well, most

474
00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:17,520
Speaker 1: empasts who come to me, and let's say they want

475
00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:20,159
Speaker 1: to find their soul mate or they want to find

476
00:28:20,359 --> 00:28:22,600
Speaker 1: you know, somebody to really connect to us on a

477
00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:26,399
Speaker 1: deep level, and yet they can't find anybody, and so

478
00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:30,119
Speaker 1: you know, why is it? U um? You know people say, oh,

479
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:32,000
Speaker 1: they're just not a lot of good men and women

480
00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:36,520
Speaker 1: out there. That's a line the huge recently and you know,

481
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:42,880
Speaker 1: yes and no um because empasts unknowingly like unavailable people

482
00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:48,040
Speaker 1: because they won't get overloaded by the experience that intimacy

483
00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:51,360
Speaker 1: if they haven't learned to navigate that. So if they're

484
00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:55,360
Speaker 1: constantly wondering why this guy hasn't called, you know on

485
00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:58,840
Speaker 1: a deep level, that's a lot safer than being in

486
00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:01,720
Speaker 1: an intimate relationship ship and having to talk with them

487
00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:04,960
Speaker 1: about I need my alone time and this doesn't you

488
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:06,880
Speaker 1: know me that I don't love you, you know, having

489
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:09,440
Speaker 1: those kinds of conversations because they don't really know how

490
00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:12,800
Speaker 1: to have that. And in any relationships, you need to

491
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:16,200
Speaker 1: protect your personal space. You needed to map out alone time.

492
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:18,480
Speaker 1: You may not even want to live with a person.

493
00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:20,800
Speaker 1: You might not want to have separate homes or separate

494
00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:24,360
Speaker 1: wings or separate bedrooms. There's a whole new paradigm of

495
00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:26,680
Speaker 1: how to be together in a couple. If you're an

496
00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:30,080
Speaker 1: impact that I talked about in the em past Survival Guy,

497
00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:35,040
Speaker 1: and it's important to read about those questions that you

498
00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:39,360
Speaker 1: need to bring up with a mate. So relationships aren't

499
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:43,360
Speaker 1: proper with too much togetherness, as empact get overloaded. I

500
00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:45,320
Speaker 1: could never be with somebody all the time. It was

501
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 1: driving insane to be with somebody constantly because I need

502
00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:52,600
Speaker 1: I need my alone time. I need to have my

503
00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:55,800
Speaker 1: separate space I wanted. I've been living with someone for

504
00:29:55,840 --> 00:30:00,680
Speaker 1: six years, and you know, it works that he's able

505
00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:06,800
Speaker 1: to hear my feedback. You know, if I need to

506
00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:09,640
Speaker 1: be alone, if I need to sleep alone, if I

507
00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:13,040
Speaker 1: need to go in the back house, if I need

508
00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:17,400
Speaker 1: not to talk, um, if I'm feeling overloaded and it's

509
00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:21,520
Speaker 1: not the best time to have a conversation. Um. You know,

510
00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:24,080
Speaker 1: they're all kinds of issues that come up. You know,

511
00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:27,760
Speaker 1: if I want to leave a social evance because you know,

512
00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:31,640
Speaker 1: I'm maxed out and he's not an EmPATH, so he

513
00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:36,479
Speaker 1: doesn't respond in the same way that I do. Thank God. Well,

514
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:38,680
Speaker 1: I was just going to ask that, do you see

515
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:42,120
Speaker 1: two impass being together more often than not? Or do

516
00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:45,640
Speaker 1: you see one EmPATH and one non EmPATH like what

517
00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:50,120
Speaker 1: seems to be more common it's all personal preference. Some

518
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:54,720
Speaker 1: empaths prefer each other and some empassed, like we prefer

519
00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:58,960
Speaker 1: non EmPATH No, there's a type of person that I

520
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:01,640
Speaker 1: talked about in the book called the rock. Somebody who's

521
00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:04,600
Speaker 1: strong and steady and it isn't swayed by the winds

522
00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:08,120
Speaker 1: of life, and it's just you know, maybe you know

523
00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:10,520
Speaker 1: it doesn't have that extreme empathy, but they have a

524
00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:15,160
Speaker 1: good heart. You know, I did best with that type. No,

525
00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:20,560
Speaker 1: as opposed to someone's feeling something right that seems like

526
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:27,160
Speaker 1: it would be major. Yeah, too much for me, would

527
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:32,720
Speaker 1: be too much. You know. Sometimes for me, I want

528
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:35,760
Speaker 1: to connect to people in that way like the one

529
00:31:35,840 --> 00:31:39,160
Speaker 1: another impact, in the way that we can understand each other.

530
00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:41,240
Speaker 1: But you're right, like, if I think about it, in

531
00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:43,520
Speaker 1: a relationship, sometimes I need someone to pull me kind

532
00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:46,880
Speaker 1: of out of all of the feelings and not be

533
00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:52,040
Speaker 1: as quite as emotional or as sensitive as I am

534
00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:57,840
Speaker 1: right right the ground, Yeah, yeah, exactly. Um So, energy

535
00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:01,120
Speaker 1: vampires are also another part of the relationship aspect of

536
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:05,040
Speaker 1: this book. This was fascinating to me. You say narcissists

537
00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:10,080
Speaker 1: are attracted to impasse. Oh, there's a toxic attraction between

538
00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:14,040
Speaker 1: narcissists and empass and in the chapter on empass and

539
00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:18,760
Speaker 1: love um narcissists full blown let's say, full blown narcissists,

540
00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:21,840
Speaker 1: not just those of narcissistic traits. Full blown narcissists are

541
00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:26,200
Speaker 1: not capable of empathy. They have what's called empathy deficient disorder.

542
00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:30,480
Speaker 1: So basically this is so hard for empast to get.

543
00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:34,640
Speaker 1: They don't really care about what you're feeling, you know,

544
00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:37,320
Speaker 1: they only care about it in the sense of how

545
00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:42,040
Speaker 1: it might serve them. But this is very confusing because

546
00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:44,520
Speaker 1: in the beginning of the relationship they put on a

547
00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:51,200
Speaker 1: false empathic front. Right, it's very confusing. But what I

548
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:54,240
Speaker 1: you know, tell my patients is just be aware of

549
00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:59,800
Speaker 1: really charismatic people are overly charming people because a lot

550
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:04,320
Speaker 1: of times they're narcissists. Narcissists have charmed unbelievable You feel

551
00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:08,520
Speaker 1: that electrical lightning experience with them. Bam. You know, you're

552
00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:13,720
Speaker 1: alert and your senses are awake, and you know it's

553
00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:18,120
Speaker 1: just an amazing that lightning striking experience. You can deal

554
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:21,160
Speaker 1: with narcissists, So you've got to really and take a

555
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:23,720
Speaker 1: step back if that happens, just to make sure you're

556
00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:27,440
Speaker 1: partner is an a narcissist, and and you know in

557
00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:29,920
Speaker 1: the book there's certain traits you look for and and

558
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:33,680
Speaker 1: it's tried and true with every narcissist, you know. So

559
00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:38,320
Speaker 1: I suggest two people is empased. If you think somebody's

560
00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:42,360
Speaker 1: a narcissist, just provoke a little conflict in the beginning whatever,

561
00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:46,400
Speaker 1: Just don't do something their way and see how they respond,

562
00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:52,080
Speaker 1: because narcissists typically get cold withholding, punishing, and their true

563
00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:56,040
Speaker 1: self comes out. But if they aren't a narcissist, they

564
00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:58,560
Speaker 1: would say something like, oh, thank you for telling me

565
00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:02,400
Speaker 1: your needs. Now I can better expect them. You know.

566
00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:05,160
Speaker 1: A narcisst wouldn't say that unless they were trying to

567
00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:10,640
Speaker 1: manipulate you. I'm thinking through all my dating past as

568
00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:14,759
Speaker 1: you talk, I think that, yeah, oh my gosh, yes,

569
00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:21,520
Speaker 1: like I have been in multiple relationships with narcissists. Um.

570
00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:23,520
Speaker 1: I don't think yeah until I read that in a

571
00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:28,319
Speaker 1: book about the part of um dumb putting on the

572
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:30,640
Speaker 1: show for a while, because that's I think. It's such

573
00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:32,600
Speaker 1: a confusing thing. It's a you know, you get really

574
00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:35,400
Speaker 1: confused on what is chemistry and then what is that

575
00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:39,200
Speaker 1: toxic connection that you're talking about? Between the narcissist and

576
00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:43,839
Speaker 1: the impath, right, well, just provoke a conflict with an

577
00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:49,200
Speaker 1: ext one, yeah, and see how they re are. Because

578
00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:53,240
Speaker 1: if you're a you know in the you know, blazed

579
00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:57,080
Speaker 1: over with passion and you know, an expectation, you're not

580
00:34:57,120 --> 00:34:59,160
Speaker 1: going to see the real person. But if you can

581
00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:02,320
Speaker 1: just could breath, say okay, you know, I'm going to

582
00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:05,560
Speaker 1: provoke a conflict and see what see how this person responds,

583
00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:08,960
Speaker 1: then you can bring out their true colors more quickly.

584
00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:13,160
Speaker 1: And also you need to see how they treat other people. Yeah,

585
00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:16,680
Speaker 1: they treat the parking lot of tendencyals they you know,

586
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:21,000
Speaker 1: treat the food server. You know, if they're nasty to

587
00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:24,560
Speaker 1: certain people, then that's how they're going to be with you.

588
00:35:24,560 --> 00:35:29,200
Speaker 1: You know, you want to have somebody who's kind to everybody.

589
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:32,400
Speaker 1: You know, he cares about the earth and cares about

590
00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:37,680
Speaker 1: other people. And narcissists don't genuinely care. So they care.

591
00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:42,040
Speaker 1: They they'll they'll give you positive strokes if you admire them,

592
00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:45,120
Speaker 1: if you tell them good job they did. You know

593
00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:48,040
Speaker 1: what an incredible person they are. I mean that they

594
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:53,200
Speaker 1: have soaked up. But in terms of um loving you,

595
00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:59,160
Speaker 1: no love, yeah, I mean I work with a lot

596
00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:02,840
Speaker 1: of celebrity, and so that's such a narcissistic world in general.

597
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:05,280
Speaker 1: You know, it's kind of it breeds that just because

598
00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:08,040
Speaker 1: of the nature of the job. So I think I'm

599
00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:12,000
Speaker 1: almost used to that, but it's very eye opening. I'll

600
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:16,759
Speaker 1: have to test it out. Yeah, But in that I

601
00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:19,040
Speaker 1: want to make the distinction there are people just with

602
00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:22,359
Speaker 1: narcissistic traits who are not full blown narcissists. So they

603
00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:25,719
Speaker 1: just have some qualities of self absorption, but they may

604
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:28,920
Speaker 1: have the capacity you know, for caring. If they go

605
00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:32,520
Speaker 1: into therapy or if they go into coaching, then they

606
00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:34,960
Speaker 1: have If they go into twelve step program, that's very

607
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:38,040
Speaker 1: helpful for narcissists, the actics or alcoholic because then they

608
00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:40,640
Speaker 1: have to be of service to other people part of

609
00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:44,640
Speaker 1: the program, you know. So you know, there are those

610
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:47,240
Speaker 1: who let down on the scale who are not full

611
00:36:47,239 --> 00:36:51,080
Speaker 1: blown narcissists. You know, in the entertainment community, they say

612
00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:54,800
Speaker 1: you're in. So I wouldn't suddenly, you know, say everyone.

613
00:36:56,040 --> 00:37:01,040
Speaker 1: I don't think that's fair, but I want to say that,

614
00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:05,600
Speaker 1: you know, with makeup artists and with you know, anybody

615
00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:09,520
Speaker 1: who has close physical contact other people. Because you're working

616
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:13,160
Speaker 1: on them. That for EmPATH is very rough. I've had

617
00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:16,680
Speaker 1: a lot of patients in those situations are hairstylists. You know,

618
00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:21,560
Speaker 1: it's very rough because not only do they people tend

619
00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:24,439
Speaker 1: to tell you their life stories. You know, you're near

620
00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:27,960
Speaker 1: their energy field picking up stuff all the time. So

621
00:37:28,120 --> 00:37:31,440
Speaker 1: you need to take special time to replenish yourself, you know,

622
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:35,480
Speaker 1: in terms of meditation, getting in water, you know, hot baths,

623
00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:42,080
Speaker 1: showers that helps to cleanse you. Staging or burning sweet grass,

624
00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:47,760
Speaker 1: you know, in your your environment, medication, breath, yoga, getting

625
00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:50,720
Speaker 1: out in nature. You need to have all those things

626
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:54,560
Speaker 1: going on to balance out your experience with being so

627
00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:58,040
Speaker 1: close to the public. Right Over the years, I've actually

628
00:37:58,040 --> 00:37:59,680
Speaker 1: gotten to the point where you know, I have my

629
00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:03,279
Speaker 1: of my set clients that I have learned to work

630
00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:06,880
Speaker 1: with because I am so close to them. Um And

631
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:09,399
Speaker 1: I have a hard time taking on new people at

632
00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:12,960
Speaker 1: this point because of that exact reason. It's exhausting to me.

633
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:17,120
Speaker 1: Um And this is actually, this is why I even

634
00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:19,080
Speaker 1: wanted to do this podcast in general. I got a

635
00:38:19,120 --> 00:38:21,719
Speaker 1: message from one of my followers on my Instagram at

636
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:25,880
Speaker 1: Velvet's Edge, and she is a hairstylist. She works in

637
00:38:25,880 --> 00:38:28,600
Speaker 1: the Bridle industry, but she said the beauty industry is

638
00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:31,520
Speaker 1: a place where people feel vulnerable. Many times, I'm dealing

639
00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:35,239
Speaker 1: with insecurities, feelings, and stressful wedding chaos. I know they

640
00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:37,600
Speaker 1: are not directly related to me, but I can't help

641
00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:40,279
Speaker 1: but still be affected by it. I can often feel

642
00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:42,480
Speaker 1: the atmosphere or the vibe of the room without anyone

643
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:44,919
Speaker 1: saying a word. Since I know you're in the music

644
00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:48,240
Speaker 1: industry and probably handle large personalities who are perhaps feeling

645
00:38:48,239 --> 00:38:52,080
Speaker 1: the pressure, public expectations and criticisms of the media, what

646
00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:54,520
Speaker 1: are some ways as an impath that you are able

647
00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:57,720
Speaker 1: to power through and do your job well without letting

648
00:38:57,840 --> 00:39:02,000
Speaker 1: the atmosphere affect you? And I don't know. I mean,

649
00:39:02,239 --> 00:39:04,160
Speaker 1: you can probably speak to this better than me because

650
00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:07,840
Speaker 1: I literally just learned five new techniques in your book,

651
00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:10,920
Speaker 1: because I think I was just shutting down. You know

652
00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:12,399
Speaker 1: I would if I That's what I was saying. When

653
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:14,440
Speaker 1: I travel, I come home and it's hard for me

654
00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:17,560
Speaker 1: to function. It takes me a couple of days, which

655
00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:21,799
Speaker 1: isn't realistic, especially if you're in a relationship or if

656
00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:23,920
Speaker 1: once I have kids, those kind of things like that

657
00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:27,719
Speaker 1: is not a good way to live, you know, no,

658
00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:30,560
Speaker 1: I mean that's where I mean in both books, but

659
00:39:30,640 --> 00:39:34,120
Speaker 1: in Thriving as an m Past, I offer a self

660
00:39:34,160 --> 00:39:37,880
Speaker 1: care technique per day that you can use in environments,

661
00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:40,160
Speaker 1: you know, such as you know, being in public or

662
00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:42,400
Speaker 1: having to deal with a lot of different energies in

663
00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:46,880
Speaker 1: an office environment. But in terms of what you can do, UM,

664
00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:49,960
Speaker 1: the first thing you need to do is learn how

665
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:53,799
Speaker 1: to use the breath to breathe out negative energy and

666
00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:56,319
Speaker 1: to you know, when you go into an environment, be

667
00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:58,839
Speaker 1: aware in your of your body does this feel good

668
00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:01,759
Speaker 1: or does this not feel good? So that you can

669
00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:04,960
Speaker 1: kind of tie trate the you know that you can

670
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:08,000
Speaker 1: get the feeling in the room, you can read the room,

671
00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:10,800
Speaker 1: and then you can take care of yourself in specific

672
00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:12,839
Speaker 1: ways as a result. But I just want to say,

673
00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:15,719
Speaker 1: some rooms are fantastic to walk into, you know, the

674
00:40:15,840 --> 00:40:19,600
Speaker 1: energy is so good. You know, some yoga studios or

675
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:24,000
Speaker 1: you know concerts, or you know beautiful sanctuaries that people create,

676
00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:27,600
Speaker 1: you know, for retreat centers. It just beautiful, you know,

677
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:31,319
Speaker 1: and it's just an EmPATH feast for the senses. Um.

678
00:40:31,480 --> 00:40:34,960
Speaker 1: But if you're you know, around the public, then you

679
00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:39,120
Speaker 1: have to you know, develop some kind of meditation practice

680
00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:42,319
Speaker 1: so that you learn to center your energy. And there's

681
00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:45,080
Speaker 1: a three minute heart meditation that I describe in the

682
00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:49,360
Speaker 1: book where you breathe you breathe out stress. It's critical

683
00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:52,160
Speaker 1: to know that the breath when you breathe out, that

684
00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:55,040
Speaker 1: breathe out the stress or toxicity. You don't want to

685
00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:57,960
Speaker 1: hold your breath in life, because that's what people do

686
00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:00,920
Speaker 1: if you're around an energy vampire amo to, people get

687
00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:03,919
Speaker 1: afraid and hold their breath, and that's the worst possible thing.

688
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:08,200
Speaker 1: You have to breathe out and breathe out any negative

689
00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:12,120
Speaker 1: energy that you're you're picking up for any fear, and

690
00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:15,360
Speaker 1: then you need to you know, get used to excusing

691
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:17,880
Speaker 1: yourself if you're feeling overwhelmed, just to go to the

692
00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:23,000
Speaker 1: bathroom so that you can meditate for three minutes, center yourself,

693
00:41:23,680 --> 00:41:27,480
Speaker 1: you know, feel stronger, and then come back out in

694
00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:31,600
Speaker 1: terms of the situation um and then also learning how

695
00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:36,000
Speaker 1: to set clear limits and boundaries essential for encount Learning

696
00:41:36,040 --> 00:41:39,840
Speaker 1: that no is a complete sentence. You know, no, I'm sorry,

697
00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:43,480
Speaker 1: I can't meet you it. You know, midnight tonight to

698
00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:46,080
Speaker 1: do your hair and I can't do it. You know,

699
00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:48,840
Speaker 1: I'm tired or I'm not able to do it and

700
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:51,640
Speaker 1: learn how to you know, set limits you know with

701
00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:57,560
Speaker 1: people and say set limits nice, firm and loving and short.

702
00:41:58,280 --> 00:42:00,520
Speaker 1: You don't want to get into it with people you

703
00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:02,880
Speaker 1: know or no, I'm not able to you know, stay

704
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:04,759
Speaker 1: for three hours, but I'd love to come for one

705
00:42:04,760 --> 00:42:09,040
Speaker 1: hour to be able to control your environment a little

706
00:42:09,080 --> 00:42:12,480
Speaker 1: bit more um And then also know what your emotional

707
00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:17,160
Speaker 1: triggers are, because what you're triggered by and other people

708
00:42:17,239 --> 00:42:20,319
Speaker 1: is what drains you. For instance, if you if your

709
00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:24,080
Speaker 1: trigger as anxiety, if somebody starts getting anxious around your

710
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:27,920
Speaker 1: client is anxious, then your anxiety button's going to get triggered,

711
00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:32,520
Speaker 1: and that's like a super drain when your triggers are activated.

712
00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:37,080
Speaker 1: And so no part of being an empact includes self healing.

713
00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:39,960
Speaker 1: You know, where you say, okay, you know, where is

714
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,879
Speaker 1: my anxiety coming from? You know, did it come from

715
00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:46,440
Speaker 1: my mother? You know, how can I you know, separate

716
00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:49,760
Speaker 1: that bond with her so I don't pack it on anymore.

717
00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:53,200
Speaker 1: So it's it's a lot of knowing yourself now and

718
00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:57,360
Speaker 1: also getting into water as quickly as possible, taking breaks,

719
00:42:57,840 --> 00:42:59,880
Speaker 1: you know, not having a schedule where you just go

720
00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:02,040
Speaker 1: from one thing to the next to the next, to

721
00:43:02,120 --> 00:43:05,120
Speaker 1: the next. I mean, I I limit the amount of

722
00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:09,320
Speaker 1: socialized and I do because I enjoy it, but I don't.

723
00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:11,880
Speaker 1: I can't do it all the time. It's just too

724
00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:15,200
Speaker 1: much for me, too much input. And that's fine, you know,

725
00:43:15,280 --> 00:43:17,520
Speaker 1: it's fine for me. You know, I say no to

726
00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:21,319
Speaker 1: a lot of the events, so that's fine too. But

727
00:43:21,400 --> 00:43:25,319
Speaker 1: I don't just go and torture myself, you know, and

728
00:43:25,400 --> 00:43:27,919
Speaker 1: just get exhausted if I you know, when I go

729
00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:30,680
Speaker 1: I can sense my body when I go on a

730
00:43:30,719 --> 00:43:34,160
Speaker 1: little bit of overload, you know, Voices sound louder, lights

731
00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:37,759
Speaker 1: become right, and it's just too much, you know, it's

732
00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:41,280
Speaker 1: like signals, red flags. All right, that's fine, just get quiet.

733
00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:44,839
Speaker 1: Let's take care of yourself. And so I'm I want

734
00:43:44,840 --> 00:43:49,000
Speaker 1: to emphasize I'm continued, continuing to learn this. This is

735
00:43:49,040 --> 00:43:54,080
Speaker 1: a lifelong process of tweaking and listening to yourself, and

736
00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:56,440
Speaker 1: it's beautiful. I wouldn't have it any other way. I

737
00:43:56,560 --> 00:44:00,279
Speaker 1: love this, you know. I love being sensitive. I love

738
00:44:01,360 --> 00:44:03,759
Speaker 1: being able to see into people and read people. And

739
00:44:03,760 --> 00:44:07,640
Speaker 1: an empast can tell if somebody is being inauthentic. You know,

740
00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:11,200
Speaker 1: you can feel it in your gut, you know, something's

741
00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:14,840
Speaker 1: off and that's that's a plus. Yeah, you want to

742
00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:17,120
Speaker 1: know that, but you also want to listen to it,

743
00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:22,280
Speaker 1: which many empacts don't. And many empacts or people pleasers,

744
00:44:22,280 --> 00:44:25,440
Speaker 1: so they have to begin to deal with that in themselves. Now.

745
00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:27,800
Speaker 1: You don't want to have to please everyone. At times,

746
00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:30,399
Speaker 1: you will disappoint people. You know, you need to break

747
00:44:30,440 --> 00:44:34,360
Speaker 1: it to you. I mean, I'm definitely a people pleaser,

748
00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:37,080
Speaker 1: but it's something I've been working on. I'm a recovering

749
00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:41,040
Speaker 1: people pleaser. We'll say it that way. Yeah that's great. Yeah, yeah, right,

750
00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:45,880
Speaker 1: recovering people peace. But for empact to compassionately deal with

751
00:44:46,120 --> 00:44:48,960
Speaker 1: all of these things in themselves and to find people

752
00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:53,600
Speaker 1: in jobs in situations that feel good to you, you know,

753
00:44:53,800 --> 00:44:56,759
Speaker 1: and to create a life that's you know, let's say

754
00:44:56,760 --> 00:44:59,800
Speaker 1: you love the ocean. Let's say the ocean is impass

755
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:03,799
Speaker 1: of water. Go try and live by the ocean, right

756
00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:08,600
Speaker 1: and do that, you know, go follow where you're most comfortable,

757
00:45:09,239 --> 00:45:11,560
Speaker 1: so you're not living in the city when you really

758
00:45:11,560 --> 00:45:14,480
Speaker 1: want to be by the ocean. Well, I think it's

759
00:45:14,480 --> 00:45:18,719
Speaker 1: so interesting too, about getting to know yourself and allowing

760
00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:22,160
Speaker 1: yourself to not have to do everything like for me

761
00:45:22,239 --> 00:45:25,680
Speaker 1: a lot of times. I mean, I'm in my thirties,

762
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:28,879
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm striving to build a business kind

763
00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:32,760
Speaker 1: of thing, and I do it a lot of times

764
00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:36,400
Speaker 1: where I'm just constantly going, and that is what is

765
00:45:36,560 --> 00:45:39,480
Speaker 1: very praised, I feel like in our society. But it

766
00:45:39,560 --> 00:45:42,440
Speaker 1: does not ever pan out right for me, like I

767
00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:45,480
Speaker 1: end up exhausted. I do not feel like I bring

768
00:45:45,560 --> 00:45:48,359
Speaker 1: my best self to the table when I do that,

769
00:45:48,480 --> 00:45:50,880
Speaker 1: when I'm not taking care of myself. But it is

770
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:53,920
Speaker 1: hard for me to say it's okay to not do that,

771
00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:57,080
Speaker 1: or it's okay to take this time off, or it's

772
00:45:57,080 --> 00:46:00,680
Speaker 1: okay to not be going constantly like everyone else. I

773
00:46:00,719 --> 00:46:04,440
Speaker 1: have never been able to one let myself off the hook,

774
00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:06,800
Speaker 1: but I've never been able to move like other people.

775
00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:09,319
Speaker 1: So it's hard for me not to feel shame about that.

776
00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:14,719
Speaker 1: If that makes sense about city limits for yoursel, Yeah,

777
00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:17,600
Speaker 1: because I feel like a lot of people around me,

778
00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:21,320
Speaker 1: I watched them just go, go, go go, and I

779
00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:24,120
Speaker 1: think a lot of programming in me. I don't know

780
00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:26,800
Speaker 1: if this is common for most people, is that that

781
00:46:27,040 --> 00:46:30,040
Speaker 1: is the key to success is to strive and to

782
00:46:30,200 --> 00:46:34,120
Speaker 1: go and to keep doing. And I can't do that

783
00:46:36,280 --> 00:46:37,840
Speaker 1: well that's a good thing, you know that. But the

784
00:46:38,160 --> 00:46:41,680
Speaker 1: secret is to take many breaks and to not never

785
00:46:41,840 --> 00:46:44,800
Speaker 1: schedule back to back to back too much. That's a

786
00:46:44,920 --> 00:46:47,080
Speaker 1: recipe for exhaustion. And then you don't want to go

787
00:46:47,160 --> 00:46:50,759
Speaker 1: out for a week after that. Yeah, so that's not

788
00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:54,160
Speaker 1: going to serve you either. It's about balance. Balance, It's

789
00:46:54,200 --> 00:46:57,719
Speaker 1: about balance. Let's say you're invited, I don't know, you know,

790
00:46:57,960 --> 00:47:01,080
Speaker 1: three events in one day. You know, at least take

791
00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:04,160
Speaker 1: a half hour or an hour, you know, to meditate,

792
00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:08,240
Speaker 1: to be quiet, just turn down the stimulation between the events.

793
00:47:09,880 --> 00:47:12,040
Speaker 1: You know. That helps a lot, the mini breaks for

794
00:47:12,160 --> 00:47:16,120
Speaker 1: business people, Yeah, it really helps a lot. It makes

795
00:47:16,239 --> 00:47:19,000
Speaker 1: you calm er. I mean for me, when I when

796
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:21,919
Speaker 1: I'm feeling sensory overload, I take even three or four

797
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:26,520
Speaker 1: minute breaks. It feels just like I'm being replenished again.

798
00:47:27,600 --> 00:47:32,880
Speaker 1: Just don't talk to anybody, you know, close your eyes, meditate,

799
00:47:33,200 --> 00:47:36,719
Speaker 1: close the shades, you know, just be quiet, or play

800
00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:41,680
Speaker 1: some lovely music whatever, Just shift your state and then

801
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:44,000
Speaker 1: you can go back to the world of people after them.

802
00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:48,120
Speaker 1: Do you You talk about most introverts being I mean,

803
00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:51,919
Speaker 1: most impacts being introverted, But can you be extroverted? Because

804
00:47:51,920 --> 00:47:56,359
Speaker 1: I'm not sure I fully identify with an introvert. Yeah. Yeah.

805
00:47:56,400 --> 00:47:59,719
Speaker 1: In the book, I talked about both introverted and extroverted

806
00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:03,759
Speaker 1: em path. Invert you know like staying at home, like

807
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:06,600
Speaker 1: being with their animals at home, you know, like having

808
00:48:06,640 --> 00:48:09,840
Speaker 1: one person over, you know, like watching movies. You know,

809
00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:13,120
Speaker 1: don't call a lot out to events. But they're extroverted

810
00:48:13,160 --> 00:48:16,920
Speaker 1: EmPATH You love to socialize. But the key is that

811
00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:20,759
Speaker 1: you have to have downtime after your social life so

812
00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:24,600
Speaker 1: you can decrease your stimulation level. You can't just go

813
00:48:24,760 --> 00:48:27,440
Speaker 1: from one thing to the next. Extroverted EmPATH that I

814
00:48:27,520 --> 00:48:30,280
Speaker 1: work with have to learn that can you be both

815
00:48:32,800 --> 00:48:35,080
Speaker 1: at different times? You could have a need, you know,

816
00:48:35,200 --> 00:48:37,680
Speaker 1: you might go through a phase, you know where you're

817
00:48:37,719 --> 00:48:41,040
Speaker 1: more introverted, and that might be related to the seasons.

818
00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:45,640
Speaker 1: It's also related to the winter season where people m M.

819
00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:49,880
Speaker 1: You know, because I follow the seasons and you know,

820
00:48:50,080 --> 00:48:52,320
Speaker 1: the phases of the moon, and you know, I believe

821
00:48:52,360 --> 00:48:55,600
Speaker 1: all that effects EmPATH is just something I'm very connected

822
00:48:55,640 --> 00:48:58,400
Speaker 1: to in my spiritual practice, which is a boot's practice.

823
00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:02,440
Speaker 1: And so you know, on the full moon and new moones,

824
00:49:02,520 --> 00:49:06,719
Speaker 1: special prayers and meditations and connections you know to feel

825
00:49:06,840 --> 00:49:10,279
Speaker 1: the cycles of life. You know, impacts can do that

826
00:49:10,440 --> 00:49:12,320
Speaker 1: if they want to. They could be intention with the

827
00:49:12,400 --> 00:49:15,600
Speaker 1: cycles of length. And some cycles of nature are quieter

828
00:49:15,719 --> 00:49:19,919
Speaker 1: and more inward and others are more outward and socializing.

829
00:49:20,120 --> 00:49:23,280
Speaker 1: So you have to listen to your body and connecting

830
00:49:23,360 --> 00:49:26,440
Speaker 1: to nature is one thing that impass you know a

831
00:49:26,560 --> 00:49:30,880
Speaker 1: lot of times love doing so, you know, one of

832
00:49:30,960 --> 00:49:34,440
Speaker 1: the gifts of impaths is a high level of intuition.

833
00:49:34,800 --> 00:49:37,520
Speaker 1: What does it mean to be an intuitive impath? Are

834
00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:43,600
Speaker 1: all empaths intuitive impacts have a certain amount of intuition um,

835
00:49:43,800 --> 00:49:48,520
Speaker 1: but the intuitive impass often have extremely strong intuition um

836
00:49:48,880 --> 00:49:51,920
Speaker 1: or you can sense what's going on in other people.

837
00:49:52,600 --> 00:49:56,440
Speaker 1: You can get visions, or you can you know, get knowing,

838
00:49:57,239 --> 00:50:00,640
Speaker 1: or you can get strong ah feelings. All of a sudden,

839
00:50:00,800 --> 00:50:05,200
Speaker 1: something becomes clear um. And it's about in our listening

840
00:50:05,320 --> 00:50:09,720
Speaker 1: where your body tells you you know various things about people.

841
00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:14,719
Speaker 1: Or they're also dream EmPATH. You know, I've been recording

842
00:50:14,760 --> 00:50:16,960
Speaker 1: my dreams since I've been a little girl and following

843
00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:20,719
Speaker 1: their guidance because I'm so connected to that realm. So

844
00:50:20,960 --> 00:50:24,560
Speaker 1: some empass the form of intuition they connect with the dreams,

845
00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:29,880
Speaker 1: So it just varies, you know. Some empaths are connected

846
00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:35,560
Speaker 1: to plant, plant EmPATH or animal EmPATH our earth empas

847
00:50:35,760 --> 00:50:38,640
Speaker 1: where you can be particularly connected to the earth changes

848
00:50:39,320 --> 00:50:42,720
Speaker 1: so if you have the sensitivity, it can be directed

849
00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:46,400
Speaker 1: to so many different areas. And and some empaths have

850
00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:50,000
Speaker 1: more of a specialty, you know, Let's say they're you know,

851
00:50:50,120 --> 00:50:54,880
Speaker 1: more an intuitive EmPATH and they connect to animals or

852
00:50:54,960 --> 00:50:58,560
Speaker 1: they connect to the earth. So it's it's good, you know,

853
00:50:58,600 --> 00:51:00,680
Speaker 1: in those cases to live near the earth there just

854
00:51:00,800 --> 00:51:03,239
Speaker 1: spend a lot of time, you know, with the earth,

855
00:51:03,400 --> 00:51:08,480
Speaker 1: because that's very nurturing. The two I related with the

856
00:51:08,560 --> 00:51:11,240
Speaker 1: most you describe all of the different kinds of intuitive

857
00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:13,320
Speaker 1: impasts in your book, But the two I related to

858
00:51:13,400 --> 00:51:17,279
Speaker 1: the mouth where the telepath and the dream which I

859
00:51:17,520 --> 00:51:20,600
Speaker 1: think for most of my life has what has been

860
00:51:20,719 --> 00:51:22,880
Speaker 1: what has made me feel a little crazy, like I

861
00:51:22,960 --> 00:51:26,320
Speaker 1: have not. I wanted to say those things out loud

862
00:51:26,560 --> 00:51:30,200
Speaker 1: because they're really kind of strange, almost, like especially the

863
00:51:30,320 --> 00:51:33,480
Speaker 1: telepath one that happens to me a lot um where

864
00:51:33,520 --> 00:51:36,680
Speaker 1: I think something and you know, the most recent one

865
00:51:36,719 --> 00:51:38,759
Speaker 1: that happened to me was a couple of months ago,

866
00:51:39,239 --> 00:51:42,040
Speaker 1: I was just walking up the stairs and I had

867
00:51:42,080 --> 00:51:46,239
Speaker 1: this flash of my grandmother falling for random reason. I mean,

868
00:51:46,239 --> 00:51:47,880
Speaker 1: I was I haven't even I hadn't talked about my

869
00:51:47,920 --> 00:51:52,160
Speaker 1: grandmother or talked to her in weeks. It was so strange,

870
00:51:52,760 --> 00:51:54,160
Speaker 1: and I was like, Wow, that was so weird. I

871
00:51:54,200 --> 00:51:55,719
Speaker 1: wonder why I thought that. Maybe just because I was

872
00:51:55,800 --> 00:51:57,880
Speaker 1: walking upstairs. I don't know, it just like it was

873
00:51:57,920 --> 00:52:01,080
Speaker 1: this flash and I saw her actually falling, and I

874
00:52:01,160 --> 00:52:02,840
Speaker 1: got a call from my mom the next morning that

875
00:52:02,960 --> 00:52:06,359
Speaker 1: she had fallen, had a pretty bad fall, And um,

876
00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:09,600
Speaker 1: that has happened to me so much throughout my life.

877
00:52:09,680 --> 00:52:12,640
Speaker 1: But it's it's weird, and it's scary what you addressed

878
00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:15,359
Speaker 1: in the book, because you almost are like, oh my god,

879
00:52:15,520 --> 00:52:17,640
Speaker 1: did I cause that? Or what? What was that? Like?

880
00:52:17,719 --> 00:52:22,480
Speaker 1: Why did that happen? Why? Yeah, you know, Um, it's

881
00:52:22,560 --> 00:52:25,800
Speaker 1: because you loved somebody. The intuitive bond and the connection

882
00:52:25,920 --> 00:52:28,960
Speaker 1: with them is very strong, and so if they're in

883
00:52:29,040 --> 00:52:32,000
Speaker 1: trouble or something's going to happen, that's often a louder signal,

884
00:52:32,239 --> 00:52:35,960
Speaker 1: So it gets transmitted through the wavelength, you know whatever there.

885
00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:39,960
Speaker 1: It gets transmitted from one heart to another. And you

886
00:52:40,080 --> 00:52:44,680
Speaker 1: obviously love your grandmother very much. You're you're connected to

887
00:52:44,880 --> 00:52:47,880
Speaker 1: her and to me. From my frame of reference, it's

888
00:52:47,920 --> 00:52:50,839
Speaker 1: not weird at all. It's our natural human capacity at

889
00:52:50,880 --> 00:52:54,719
Speaker 1: its peak. It's finest to be able to connect to

890
00:52:54,840 --> 00:52:57,160
Speaker 1: people that way. And at first at my first book,

891
00:52:57,200 --> 00:53:01,320
Speaker 1: second site was about you know, growing up as an intuitive,

892
00:53:01,360 --> 00:53:05,000
Speaker 1: empathic child and all those things you mentioned, you know,

893
00:53:05,360 --> 00:53:08,480
Speaker 1: feelings that somehow I caused it, you know, or there

894
00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:11,120
Speaker 1: was something wrong with me, and you know, kind of

895
00:53:11,239 --> 00:53:12,920
Speaker 1: just spelling that and then how I give it as

896
00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:18,080
Speaker 1: a doctor, um, but you didn't cause it. You're just open.

897
00:53:18,800 --> 00:53:22,080
Speaker 1: You know. It sounds like you're a very open, intuitive,

898
00:53:22,320 --> 00:53:26,360
Speaker 1: loving person and you need to, you know, learn some

899
00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:29,960
Speaker 1: skills not to take on too much, you know, because

900
00:53:30,040 --> 00:53:33,759
Speaker 1: empaths tend to overhelp and get involved with things that

901
00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:37,040
Speaker 1: are none of their business. You have to you know,

902
00:53:37,200 --> 00:53:40,160
Speaker 1: each person is in their own lane. You know you

903
00:53:40,280 --> 00:53:43,840
Speaker 1: might overlap, but each person has their own path to

904
00:53:43,960 --> 00:53:46,640
Speaker 1: be on, so you stay in your own lane and

905
00:53:46,920 --> 00:53:49,320
Speaker 1: it's not your job to take on the world. Suffering

906
00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:53,200
Speaker 1: empaths need to learn that it doesn't help the world

907
00:53:53,360 --> 00:53:56,879
Speaker 1: doesn't help you. What does help is if you learn

908
00:53:56,920 --> 00:53:59,600
Speaker 1: how to hold space for people so that you can

909
00:53:59,640 --> 00:54:03,840
Speaker 1: prove you know, a loving environment for somebody to go

910
00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:09,360
Speaker 1: through their own pain or their own path without getting

911
00:54:09,480 --> 00:54:13,640
Speaker 1: overly involved. That's that's another skill to be learned as

912
00:54:13,640 --> 00:54:16,000
Speaker 1: an EmPATH, and I do discuss that in this book.

913
00:54:17,560 --> 00:54:19,720
Speaker 1: I love that you finished the book with a chapter

914
00:54:19,800 --> 00:54:22,720
Speaker 1: about just the gifts of being an EmPATH. What would

915
00:54:22,800 --> 00:54:25,520
Speaker 1: you what would you say? The greatest gifts of being

916
00:54:25,600 --> 00:54:30,360
Speaker 1: an EmPATH are um the ability to love very deeply

917
00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:35,720
Speaker 1: and to connect with human beings, with nature, with life,

918
00:54:36,800 --> 00:54:39,920
Speaker 1: to be able to feel, you know, with capital f

919
00:54:40,560 --> 00:54:44,400
Speaker 1: you know, the flowers and the ocean and and you know,

920
00:54:44,600 --> 00:54:47,600
Speaker 1: beautiful people that you could connect to, and to be

921
00:54:47,680 --> 00:54:51,080
Speaker 1: of service to others. You know, my work as a psychiatrist,

922
00:54:51,200 --> 00:54:54,520
Speaker 1: that allows me to thens what others people are feeling,

923
00:54:55,080 --> 00:54:57,600
Speaker 1: so I can kind of get it from their angle,

924
00:54:58,560 --> 00:55:01,160
Speaker 1: you know, and that gives me, you know, a deep

925
00:55:01,200 --> 00:55:04,480
Speaker 1: perception into them. That's very important to me. I think

926
00:55:04,560 --> 00:55:08,239
Speaker 1: the most important thing to me is connection. You know.

927
00:55:08,320 --> 00:55:11,799
Speaker 1: It's how we connect to ourselves, to the people we love,

928
00:55:12,040 --> 00:55:16,040
Speaker 1: to the people, you know, my patients. That depth of connection,

929
00:55:16,360 --> 00:55:19,920
Speaker 1: my being an EmPATH really really helps with that. And

930
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:23,239
Speaker 1: I love that. I love the quote that you say

931
00:55:23,280 --> 00:55:26,040
Speaker 1: in that chapter. It's from environmentalist David Or and he

932
00:55:26,120 --> 00:55:28,800
Speaker 1: says the planet does not need more successful people. The

933
00:55:28,880 --> 00:55:34,239
Speaker 1: planet desperately needs more peacemakers, more healers, restores, storytellers, and

934
00:55:34,360 --> 00:55:37,080
Speaker 1: lovers of all kind. It needs people to live well

935
00:55:37,160 --> 00:55:40,360
Speaker 1: in their places. It needs people with moral courage willing

936
00:55:40,440 --> 00:55:43,680
Speaker 1: to join the struggle to make the world habitable and humane.

937
00:55:43,960 --> 00:55:46,879
Speaker 1: And these qualities have little to do with success as

938
00:55:46,920 --> 00:55:50,239
Speaker 1: our culture defines it. So how would you say you've

939
00:55:50,239 --> 00:55:56,000
Speaker 1: found success as an impath to the power of my

940
00:55:56,120 --> 00:56:01,160
Speaker 1: heart and not being afraid m being able to expand

941
00:56:01,239 --> 00:56:05,279
Speaker 1: my sensitivities and and teach it of it. I'm very

942
00:56:05,320 --> 00:56:07,840
Speaker 1: happy about that that I know the opportunity has the

943
00:56:07,920 --> 00:56:11,480
Speaker 1: opportunity to teach others how to work with their empathy

944
00:56:11,520 --> 00:56:15,360
Speaker 1: in a positive way. I know it's just it, but

945
00:56:15,920 --> 00:56:17,160
Speaker 1: and if you squash it,