Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central.
Speaker 2: Now, Hey, it's Michael Costa.
Speaker 3: The Daily Show's taking a break this week, but we
Speaker 3: put together some special highlight episodes just for you. We'll
Speaker 3: be back with brand new episodes of The Daily Show
Speaker 3: next week. In the meantime, enjoy this episode.
Speaker 4: Welcome Max Daily Show. Over the weekend, New York City
Speaker 4: Mayor Eric Adams was in Rome for a meeting with
Speaker 4: Pope Francis.
Speaker 5: And in a way, this meeting was always.
Speaker 4: Destined to be because if you know Eric Adams' story,
Speaker 4: you know that, like the Pope, he operates on a
Speaker 4: higher philosophical play.
Speaker 5: America's mayors are doers. They fix roads, they get drugs
Speaker 5: off the streets, they bust ghosts. But in twenty twenty one,
Speaker 5: New York City elected a mayor who wasn't just a doer.
Speaker 5: He was an enlightened thinker.
Speaker 1: No matter how much doff this told come, light was
Speaker 1: shined through.
Speaker 6: That's my message of life.
Speaker 5: Who saw his city is a playground of transcendental possibilities.
Speaker 1: This is a place where every day you wake up
Speaker 1: you could experience everything from a plane crashing into our
Speaker 1: trade center to a person who's celebrating.
Speaker 6: A new business.
Speaker 1: And that's why this is great to sit you on
Speaker 1: the globe.
Speaker 5: Yes, like a great metaphysicist. New York's mayor inspires citizens
Speaker 5: to ask deep existential questions like who the hell did
Speaker 5: I just vote for? This is the daily showography of
Speaker 5: Eric Adams, philosopher King of New York.
Speaker 7: Today.
Speaker 5: We know that Eric Adams is a philosophical genius because
Speaker 5: he tells us he is.
Speaker 1: So, I'm Gandhee like I think like Gandhi, like Gandhi,
Speaker 1: I want to be like Gandhi.
Speaker 5: But it wasn't always a parent that Adams would grow
Speaker 5: up to be one of the great thinkers of our time.
Speaker 5: Born in nineteen sixty to a butcher and a house cleaner,
Speaker 5: he was a typical New York team when he had
Speaker 5: a run in with the law that would changed the
Speaker 5: course of his life.
Speaker 1: I was arrested in South Jamaica, Queens when I was
Speaker 1: coming from school after going into an apartment of a
Speaker 1: go go dancer who loaded us money.
Speaker 6: Out of nowhere. They say, you feel like a beat down.
Speaker 1: So I had a demon in me and the only
Speaker 1: way to get it out.
Speaker 2: Was to go in to go into a police department,
Speaker 2: going to.
Speaker 1: The police apartment.
Speaker 5: You know what they say, if they can beat you,
Speaker 5: join them, and join he did. It was during this
Speaker 5: sojourn in the urban wilderness that the prophet now says
Speaker 5: he was granted a vision of his future.
Speaker 1: Thirty something years ago. God spoke to my heart and said,
Speaker 1: you are going to be the mayor January first, twenty
Speaker 1: twenty two. And I would tell everybody I'm going to
Speaker 1: be mad January first, twenty twenty two. People used to
Speaker 1: think I was on medication.
Speaker 5: Yes, used to so. After twenty two years as a cop,
Speaker 5: Adams traded his badge and gun for the suit and
Speaker 5: tie of the New York State Senate, where he used
Speaker 5: his law enforcement background to teach ordinary citizens how to
Speaker 5: police their own families.
Speaker 1: It's imparative that you should know what's inside your household.
Speaker 1: You don't know what your child may be hiding. Could
Speaker 1: be just a baby doll, but also it could be
Speaker 1: a place where you could secrete or hide drugs.
Speaker 5: It's the classic philosophical debate if any object solely itself
Speaker 5: or do all things contain dualities that can be used
Speaker 5: to hide controversies? And after apparently solving every other problem
Speaker 5: in the city, Adams turned his focus to something few
Speaker 5: intellects had dared to tackle.
Speaker 6: Dead ass.
Speaker 8: So he is starting a campaign to encourage kids not
Speaker 8: to wear their pants so Loo.
Speaker 6: It's dubbed the sag.
Speaker 1: When you raise your parents, you raise your character. When
Speaker 1: you raise your pasts or raise your grade, when you
Speaker 1: raise your parents, you raise your self esteem.
Speaker 5: Soon Adam's profile was lifted higher than the freshly raised
Speaker 5: race bands of New York City teenagers. He ascended to
Speaker 5: Brooklyn Borough President, where he toiled day and night, even
Speaker 5: sleeping on a bed in his office, a commitment to
Speaker 5: both his job and avoiding New York rents. But for Adams,
Speaker 5: politics would always come second to his true passion, developing
Speaker 5: a holistic philosophy of mind, body and spirit.
Speaker 1: I eat a plant based centric life. Some people want
Speaker 1: to call me vegan. Vegans eat areoles.
Speaker 6: I don't.
Speaker 7: Now.
Speaker 1: I'm going to show you what I eat. More of
Speaker 1: the cow powder, I see, lack of powder, the cocoa powder,
Speaker 1: karate powder, and I love this stuff. Here loringa powder and.
Speaker 5: After beginning each day with a slurry of industrial grade
Speaker 5: pulverized health food, Adams ends every week with the ritual
Speaker 5: worthy of a Boys to Men video.
Speaker 9: Every week, Adams draws himself a bubble bath and scatters
Speaker 9: rose petals across the water's surface.
Speaker 1: I don't about what I'll do without my incense, my candles,
Speaker 1: my bubble baths, and my roads.
Speaker 5: Before long, Adams was enlightened enough to ascend to an
Speaker 5: even level mayor after a small hitch requiring him to
Speaker 5: prove that he didn't actually live in New Jersey by
Speaker 5: giving a tour of his very real Brooklyn apartment.
Speaker 9: This is a small bathroom.
Speaker 5: Adams won the election convincingly, and he celebrated poetically.
Speaker 1: How do you go from being arrested to selections it rejected,
Speaker 1: and now you elected to be the mayor of the
Speaker 1: City of New York. All I know is all my
Speaker 1: haters become my waights when I sit down.
Speaker 6: At the table little success.
Speaker 1: I'm not who I am because I'm the best. I'm
Speaker 1: who I am because I'm blessed.
Speaker 5: Not since Jiggy had New York seen a philosopher with
Speaker 5: such slow and not since fifty cent had New York
Speaker 5: seen a leader who spent so much time in the club.
Speaker 1: This is a city of swagger. We need a mayor
Speaker 1: of swagger. When a mayor has swagger at the city
Speaker 1: has swagger. That's saying Veric goes out to restaurant breaking news.
Speaker 6: Duh, yes I do.
Speaker 1: I'm a night life man and I like to test
Speaker 1: the product.
Speaker 5: As Mayor, Adam's galaxy brain was constantly coming up with
Speaker 5: new ways to improve life in the city, like slashing
Speaker 5: budgets for libraries and schools and migrants to pay for
Speaker 5: more cops on the street and more cops in the subway,
Speaker 5: and robot cops and flying robot cops, robot dog cops,
Speaker 5: so many cops. And if people complained, he handled it philosophically.
Speaker 1: We're New york Is, you know, we get angry, we
Speaker 1: get pissed off, and we let you know.
Speaker 6: How you feel.
Speaker 1: I'll wake up in the morning sometime and look at
Speaker 1: myself and I get myself to feed.
Speaker 5: It seemed like there was no problem. Adams couldn't outthink.
Speaker 10: Until breaking news here in New York City, the FBI
Speaker 10: seizing electronic devices belonging to Mayor Eric Adams as part
Speaker 10: of a corruption investigation.
Speaker 8: The FBI is investigating whether the mayor received illegal donations
Speaker 8: from the Turkish government, with observers noting unusual connections, including
Speaker 8: Adam's recent cameo in a Turkish movie.
Speaker 1: But I don't to stand turkeys.
Speaker 5: Well, this Turkish taffies will be end of Adam's reign,
Speaker 5: or will we once again draw on his philosophical learning
Speaker 5: to remind people that in New York City, every day
Speaker 5: is a chance to soar to even greater heights.
Speaker 1: I am the pilot, folks, and you are all passages.
Speaker 1: Stop praying for me to crash the plane, because there's
Speaker 1: no pirates chues.
Speaker 6: On this plane.
Speaker 1: We're all going down together, down together.
Speaker 5: And that kind of wisdom for the ages is why
Speaker 5: Eric Adams truly is the philosopher king of New York.
Speaker 2: All back to the Daily Show.
Speaker 9: You know, the news is so serious these days. What
Speaker 9: we could really use is a palate cleanser, like a
Speaker 9: fun pop culture story. And luckily there's some big news
Speaker 9: this weekend.
Speaker 6: Boy has a.
Speaker 7: Rapp er been buzzing over the weekend? The Internet on fire.
Speaker 7: Are your Team Drake or Team Kendrick Lamar? The feud
Speaker 7: is red hot, both stars dropping several dish tracks over
Speaker 7: the weekend, both stars gaining tens of millions.
Speaker 6: Of streams in the process.
Speaker 7: The beef has been ongoing for several years, quite frankly,
Speaker 7: but it's reached a fever pitch right now.
Speaker 2: Ooh, reck battle. It's a great way to showcase an
Speaker 2: MC's skills.
Speaker 9: I gotta say, as a as a Michigan boy, I
Speaker 9: loved watching eminem Slice and DICE's competitors.
Speaker 2: It's always always a great time.
Speaker 9: In fact, I bet Drake is gonna tease Kendrick about
Speaker 9: selling more albums and Kendrick is going to make some
Speaker 9: playful jabs about Drake being a Toronto Raptors fan, so
Speaker 9: let the ribbing begin.
Speaker 6: In his diss tracks, Drake claims Kendrick abuses and cheats
Speaker 6: on this fiance, while Kendrick accuses Drake of being a pedophile.
Speaker 2: Oh that got dark. Uh.
Speaker 9: It went from zero to epstein in about one weekend.
Speaker 2: This beef is.
Speaker 9: Really out of control and it doesn't look like it's
Speaker 9: calming down anytime soon. Kendrick is probably in the studio
Speaker 9: right now trying to figure out something that rhymes with
Speaker 9: killed John Benet ramsay. So for more on this, we
Speaker 9: go live out to the streets with our own Josh Johnson.
Speaker 2: Done Done. Who would you say is winning this beef?
Speaker 10: Nope, pass, no, thank you. I don't want to get
Speaker 10: dragged into this at all. All these dudes do is
Speaker 10: research and destroy. Apparently this is short for dissertation. Okay,
Speaker 10: And I don't need anybody looking me up and rapping
Speaker 10: about how I took my cousin to Senor prom or
Speaker 10: that I pissed my bed until Senor.
Speaker 6: Prom all right.
Speaker 10: I just want to do my job and rest my
Speaker 10: head in whatever safe house they got Jay.
Speaker 6: Cole in.
Speaker 2: Okay, I mean, I see your point.
Speaker 9: This has got to be one of the most brutal
Speaker 9: wrap beefs in history.
Speaker 10: Well hold on, let's not get crazy. I mean, remember
Speaker 10: how rap beefs used to be. I mean, remember Biggie
Speaker 10: and Tupac.
Speaker 6: There's a reason that the last time you saw Pac
Speaker 6: was in hologram form.
Speaker 10: All right, what's happening now is nothing compared to back then,
Speaker 10: because hip hop has mature.
Speaker 6: In the nineties, it was a future girl. How about
Speaker 6: that now?
Speaker 10: It's I don't think you're emotionally available as a father
Speaker 10: and husband due to your general lack of vulnerability, which
Speaker 10: leaves me with no choice but the fucking girl, how
Speaker 10: about that?
Speaker 7: Okay?
Speaker 9: All right, Okay, So you're saying, as ugly as this
Speaker 9: is getting, at least it's not spilling into violence.
Speaker 6: Correct.
Speaker 10: In fact, I wish all global conflicts were like hip
Speaker 10: hop beefs the Middle East, Russia, Ukraine instead of missiles.
Speaker 10: Wouldn't you want to see Zelensky release a track saying
Speaker 10: Putin is on ozempic or that he learned Brazilian jiu
Speaker 10: jitsu because he got Brazilian butt lift, or that pun's
Speaker 10: not black enough to say nigga, you know what I mean,
Speaker 10: or whatever the Russian version of that is.
Speaker 2: You really think you could replace wars with beefs.
Speaker 6: Absolutely forget abroad even at home.
Speaker 10: Wouldn't the national anthem be hotter if it was a
Speaker 10: dish track against England, like no taxation with that responentation,
Speaker 10: that's already half a bar right there.
Speaker 6: Now.
Speaker 10: You just need something like you eat beans on toasts
Speaker 10: like some broke ass hose. Instead of shooting at Britain,
Speaker 10: the founding fathers should have been spitting out, oh like
Speaker 10: a Hamilton.
Speaker 6: Not like that?
Speaker 9: Okay, well, Josh, if everything being a rap battle, de
Speaker 9: escalate situations, why are you so afraid to just pick
Speaker 9: a side between Drake and Kendrick. I mean because you
Speaker 9: tell me all the time how you love Drake's music
Speaker 9: and he makes you feel safe to torque in the shower,
Speaker 9: and how you like to pop ass to his beads,
Speaker 9: so it makes you feel like.
Speaker 6: A bad bitch.
Speaker 10: I think you said no, no, no no no no
Speaker 10: no no no no.
Speaker 6: Well thanks a lot, Jordan, you gave him plenty.
Speaker 10: Kendrick just dropped a song and the cover art is
Speaker 10: me slow dancing at singer.
Speaker 6: Oh my God, I gotta call my cousin.
Speaker 2: Shot shots and everyone.
Speaker 6: Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by
Speaker 6: searching The Daily Show wherever.
Speaker 2: You get your podcasts.
Speaker 3: Watch The Daily Show weeknights at eleven ten Central on
Speaker 3: Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus.
Speaker 7: This has been a Comedy Central podcast