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Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hey, everyone,

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Speaker 1: welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is all about

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Speaker 1: the choices we make and where they lead us. Guys.

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Speaker 1: This podcast has been such a gift to me in

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Speaker 1: so many ways. I feel like since I've started, I've

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Speaker 1: grown so much, and I've gotten to talk to some

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Speaker 1: really incredible people and share their stories with all of

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Speaker 1: you and hear their choices, and We've formed this really

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Speaker 1: beautiful community and I'm just loving it, and I'm having

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Speaker 1: my I Choose Me live events. But I have to say,

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Speaker 1: hands down, the best part about this podcast is being

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Speaker 1: able to connect with you listeners on a deeper level

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Speaker 1: than I ever have before. I love getting to see

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Speaker 1: your comments and your feedback about episodes that we've done. Today,

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Speaker 1: I want to make it all about you, So I'm

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Speaker 1: going to open up the mic today and we are

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Speaker 1: going to get to know some of our beautiful listeners

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Speaker 1: and see if maybe I can bestow any advice or

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Speaker 1: wisdom their way, maybe learn a thing or two from them.

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Speaker 1: This is so fun. Okay, so let's just dive right in. Hi, Vicky,

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Speaker 1: how are you.

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Speaker 2: I'm fantastic talking to you how are you?

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Speaker 1: This is so exciting. Let's start with you listen to

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Speaker 1: the podcast obviously.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I listen to both of your podcasts.

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Speaker 1: Okay, good, good, And how is this one resonating with you?

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Speaker 3: I really enjoy the women stuff. I'm a single mom

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Speaker 3: raising a daughter, and I love the women empowerment and

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Speaker 3: I love hearing that from other women. So that's always like,

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Speaker 3: when I heard you're doing a podcast like that, I

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Speaker 3: got very excited. And I've been listening to you pretty

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Speaker 3: much every week, so yeah, but I just like the

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Speaker 3: women empowerment stuff that you've been doing, just making it

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Speaker 3: okay that we're doing things that in the nineties people

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Speaker 3: would like shy away at us and be like, you

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Speaker 3: can't say that or you can't talk about that. But

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Speaker 3: it's our life and what we need to talk about,

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Speaker 3: especially when you're raising young daughters.

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Speaker 2: So that's what I really like about your podcast.

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Speaker 1: Right, So, you're a single mom raising your daughter, and

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Speaker 1: am I correct in the fact that you lost your

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Speaker 1: husband in twenty twenty three?

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Speaker 2: That's correct?

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Speaker 1: Yes, First of all, I'm so sorry for your loss.

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Speaker 2: Thank you.

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Speaker 1: I mean, words do nothing for that kind of.

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Speaker 2: Pain, right, No, but I appreciate it when we need.

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Speaker 1: To acknowledge that you are still grieving, like you're in

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Speaker 1: the thick of it right now. I'm sure, and I

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Speaker 1: think it's something that it's important that you remind yourself

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Speaker 1: that and allow yourself that grace to go through that

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Speaker 1: all the stages of it, and you don't there's no

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Speaker 1: time limit on it. Other people can do it their way.

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Speaker 1: You have to do it your way. You just need

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Speaker 1: to give cut yourself some slack and remember.

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Speaker 3: That thank you, because it's it's not people assume after

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Speaker 3: a certain time, it's just like back to normal routine.

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Speaker 2: It's not that easy. How did you lose your husband

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Speaker 2: by suicide?

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Speaker 1: Oh, dear, so tragic?

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Speaker 2: Yeah it was.

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Speaker 3: It was, yes, very unexpected, no signs of anything, just

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Speaker 3: some business issues with COVID and getting out of and

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Speaker 3: overcoming the business issues with COVID as it was ending.

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Speaker 2: And I went to work one day and I couldn't.

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Speaker 2: I was texting him and calling him and he wasn't answering.

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Speaker 3: And then I went home and the cops came and

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Speaker 3: they let you know so, but I made my I

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Speaker 3: knew the cops were on their way over, so my

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Speaker 3: mom took my daughter out of the house.

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Speaker 2: She was only three.

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Speaker 3: I didn't want her to be there for any of that,

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Speaker 3: so it was just me alone when they told me.

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Speaker 2: So that was that was really terrible.

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Speaker 1: Yeh, want to give you a hug.

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Speaker 2: I appreciate that they when they came over.

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Speaker 3: I didn't think they were telling me that. I thought

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Speaker 3: they were all coming because I filed the missing persons.

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Speaker 3: I didn't know that they were going to say that.

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Speaker 3: So I just didn't want my daughter to see like

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Speaker 3: two police officers and get scared.

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Speaker 2: And she's young and whatnot.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, I wasn't expecting that news, which was why

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Speaker 3: I told my mom to leave. So yeah, so it'll

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Speaker 3: be two years on February.

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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness. Well, I'm sending you so much strength

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Speaker 1: and just knowing that there are people out there that

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Speaker 1: believe in you that you can get through this and

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Speaker 1: you can do this and you can overcome this. I'm

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Speaker 1: one of those people. So I'm here with you.

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Speaker 2: I have a very good I'm very fortunate. I have

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Speaker 2: a very good village.

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Speaker 1: That's important.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's I couldn't do without it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you asked a question about how do I make

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Speaker 1: time for myself and still be a present mom. Was

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Speaker 1: that your question?

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Speaker 3: Yes, because being a parent and having time for your

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Speaker 3: own sanity is not an easy thing. And sometimes they're

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Speaker 3: just really they're really present and you just need a break.

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Speaker 3: And it's not in a month from now when I

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Speaker 3: can finally get like a babysitter and get time off.

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Speaker 3: It's like, right in that moment, you need to break.

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Speaker 3: So that's kind of where I was like asking what

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Speaker 3: you did.

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Speaker 1: In that moment when you're like at the verge here?

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Speaker 2: Yes enough to.

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Speaker 3: Hear yes, because they're like, there is no like I'm

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Speaker 3: going to leave the house because I can't because I'm

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Speaker 3: by myself.

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Speaker 2: So what do you do?

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Speaker 3: Because it's sometimes you know, when they're any age, they

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Speaker 3: really can find a way under your skin.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I see your daughter's five now, right.

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Speaker 2: My daughters she's in kindergarten.

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Speaker 1: Yes, oh well, at least you have kindergarten and at

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Speaker 1: least at least she goes to school for I don't

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Speaker 1: know if she's half day full day yet, but thank

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Speaker 1: god for kindergarten full day. O. Get good. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: you know, in those I can relate because there have

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Speaker 1: been times when I know when my kids were little

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Speaker 1: and I was raising the three little girls basically on

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Speaker 1: my own because their dad would be away a lot

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Speaker 1: of the time filming. He would be working out of town,

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Speaker 1: and I would be there with them. And Yeah, you

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Speaker 1: reach the point where your your blood starts to boil

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Speaker 1: and you're like, I don't know how to handle this.

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Speaker 1: I don't I don't want to lose my shit. Basically,

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Speaker 1: the only thing you can do in that moment is

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Speaker 1: take some deep breaths, maybe go out of the room

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Speaker 1: for a minute, if you can. I know they sometimes

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Speaker 1: follow you.

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Speaker 2: I was gonna say I've done that before.

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Speaker 3: She she'll follow and I'll be like, I just need

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Speaker 3: you not to follow right now, and then she'd but

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Speaker 3: you're upset, and then she keeps it going and then

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Speaker 3: she gets more upset. So but yes, I the deep

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Speaker 3: breathing is definitely something that is always helpful when I

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Speaker 3: actually remember to do it, because, as we all know,

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Speaker 3: in the heat, we're all like just flabbergasted, right, But yeah,

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Speaker 3: I'm definitely walking away.

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Speaker 2: Is definitely always a if you can.

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Speaker 1: I always thought like when someone would give me that

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Speaker 1: advice take a deep breath, I'd be like, Okay, that's

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Speaker 1: really gonna help, and Obviously I'm not gonna remember to

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Speaker 1: do that in the moment, like you just said. But

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Speaker 1: the fact of the matter is, the more you use it,

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Speaker 1: the more it becomes like something that is right there

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Speaker 1: in your pocket to pull out. So it might feel

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Speaker 1: foreign in the very beginning to like take a deep

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Speaker 1: breath and have that moment to yourself and because you

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Speaker 1: want to do something else that's a little bit seems

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Speaker 1: of what like it will be more productive. But the

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Speaker 1: more you try doing that in your moments of like

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Speaker 1: the height of your stress, it does start to help

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Speaker 1: and like it will be come your go to in

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Speaker 1: those moments. And another, I mean another thing is you

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Speaker 1: just said, like your daughter's old enough for you to

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Speaker 1: she understands when you're upset. She understands if you're dealing

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Speaker 1: with some emotions. It sounds like, yes, I think a

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Speaker 1: good thing from me would have been to like explain

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Speaker 1: to her, mommy's having some feelings right now, or mommy's

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Speaker 1: feeling frustrated right now. I just need to have two

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Speaker 1: minutes to myself and I'll be right back, you know,

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Speaker 1: and just see how like communicating your needs in that

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Speaker 1: moment with her affect her, Because you might be surprised.

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Speaker 2: I've never done that.

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Speaker 3: It's actually, yeah, that sounds like a really good idea.

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Speaker 3: I've never done that. I never told her just to

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Speaker 3: give me space for a minute. I usually just say

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Speaker 3: like it's more of a yell and as opposed to

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Speaker 3: saying it like the way you just said.

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Speaker 1: It, just like calmly, try to explain it and see

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Speaker 1: how that goes. Like maybe maybe it works, maybe it doesn't.

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Speaker 1: But I know also too for me in my moments

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Speaker 1: of when my girls were little and I was dealing

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Speaker 1: with so much and feeling frustrated at the same time.

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Speaker 1: In the moment, my emotions are my feelings, I might

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Speaker 1: project them onto my kids or whatever I'm dealing with

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Speaker 1: in that moment exacerbates just the littlest thing. Like my

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Speaker 1: daughter when she was little. At that age, she had

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Speaker 1: to have her socks on a very specific way, and

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Speaker 1: if her socks were crooked in the slightest she would

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Speaker 1: freak out and have a whole thing. So I did

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Speaker 1: whatever I could to get the socks on right first

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Speaker 1: of all, Noah, of.

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Speaker 3: Course, anything to avoid the freak out. In the morning

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Speaker 3: before school.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, but I think I had to remember

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Speaker 1: to not project my stuff onto the kids, and that's

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Speaker 1: really really hard to do, especially when you're doing it

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Speaker 1: alone in.

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Speaker 3: The morning when you're getting ready for school and work.

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Speaker 3: They're like, you know, at a snail's pace, and when

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Speaker 3: you're trying to get them to go a little faster,

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Speaker 3: then that's like my daughter this morning actually was like,

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Speaker 3: my sock's on and right, it feels funny. I'm like,

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Speaker 3: just move it, and she was like, no, it still

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Speaker 3: feels funny. I'm like, okay, come help you with the

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Speaker 3: suck and she's like, no, you didn't do it right.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, so can you try. I'm going back

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Speaker 2: and forth about her sock, ironically enough, like two or

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Speaker 2: three minutes, and then finally.

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Speaker 3: I must have moved it just a rend inch and

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Speaker 3: she's like, okay, my sock's son.

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Speaker 4: Good now.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, great, let's go. But it was like

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Speaker 2: this the most random I was. I didn't do anything different, like.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they have no idea what they're doing to our

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Speaker 1: nervous system. In those moments, I can so relate. My

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Speaker 1: daughter Fiona was the same way, and I would have

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Speaker 1: to do some major deep breathing with her just to

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Speaker 1: get through those moments and not lose it. And sometimes

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Speaker 1: I just actually walked away. I had to walk away.

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Speaker 1: If it was about something as trivial as a zock

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Speaker 1: not being on right, I would say, you know what,

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Speaker 1: I'll be in the car when you figure it out.

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Speaker 1: You can join me, or I'll be in the other room.

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Speaker 1: You let me know when you're ready to go, and

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Speaker 1: just remove yourself from it. You know they're safe, you

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Speaker 1: know that it's not going to be you know the

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Speaker 1: bad's going to happen, so you can walk away. But

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Speaker 1: it's just removing yourself from it and letting them figure

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Speaker 1: it out, because they need to learn to self regulate

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Speaker 1: like that. In those moments where they are having those

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Speaker 1: panics and freak outs, there's nothing you can usually do.

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Speaker 1: It's usually something they need to do for themselves and

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Speaker 1: something they need to learn to do for themselves. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: No, one hundred percent.

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Speaker 1: And you know, I really think that just you remembering

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Speaker 1: to take care of yourself and have some alone time

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Speaker 1: and self care in place is really helps you to

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Speaker 1: show up effectively and be your best mom in every

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Speaker 1: moment and specifically those moments.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm a big TV person. That's like my most

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Speaker 3: relaxing thing to do. And my husband used to say

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Speaker 3: to my daughter, if she's watching nine O two and oh,

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Speaker 3: you can't talk to her, even though she's seen them

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Speaker 3: seven thousand times.

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Speaker 2: And so my daughter now says, do you still watch

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Speaker 2: nine O two and oh?

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Speaker 3: I'm like, I can't believe you remember Daddy making those

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Speaker 3: nine two and oh jokes at me because I've seen

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Speaker 3: every episode twelve thousand times. And so now like I

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Speaker 3: will put on NINEO two and O sometimes, and sometimes

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Speaker 3: I'll put on like other shows, and I'm like, have

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Speaker 3: all my series and I'm watching. When I tell her, like,

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Speaker 3: just go in your room and play, and I can,

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Speaker 3: like watch TV for even twenty minutes alone for some

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Speaker 3: reason calms me and like brings me back to normal

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Speaker 3: more than anything else in the world. I don't know

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Speaker 3: what it is about television shows and getting lost in

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Speaker 3: it or what the deal is, but I just feel

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Speaker 3: so much, so much better, definitely.

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Speaker 1: I mean that's the beauty of TV. I think the

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Speaker 1: way it helps some people just sort of escape whatever's

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Speaker 1: going on in their world and just really focus in

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Speaker 1: on what they're watching and their characters that they love

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Speaker 1: so much. And that's great. That you've pinpointed it that

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Speaker 1: that's your thing, oh.

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Speaker 3: One hundred percent, like all the like anytime, yes, and

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Speaker 3: if it's you know, like I have like got my

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Speaker 3: go tos and then I have like the stuff. I

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Speaker 3: haven't actually watched it because I actually read something where

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Speaker 3: they said like if you get anxious about something, there's

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Speaker 3: very it's something very comforting about watching a show you've

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Speaker 3: seen twelve thousand times, so like Friends or a Big

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Speaker 3: Bang Theory.

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Speaker 1: You know, yeah, oh yeah, one hundred percent.

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Speaker 3: So it's always like an interesting it's always interesting just

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Speaker 3: to be like it's still entertaining me, but I know

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Speaker 3: exactly what's gonna happen.

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Speaker 1: It's like comfort food, you know, like sometimes you just

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Speaker 1: need to give it to yourself. But I just think,

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Speaker 1: you know, like little things like just start with when

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Speaker 1: you're at home and you know you're in those moments,

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Speaker 1: give yourself five minutes of reprieve. You know, even five

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Speaker 1: minutes can help set reset your nervous system and just

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Speaker 1: get you back to a base where you can show

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Speaker 1: up and be there as an effective and authentic, loving

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Speaker 1: mom that I see that you clearly are. Thank you,

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Speaker 1: But I just think that you and you said you

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Speaker 1: have a foundation of people around you that support you.

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Speaker 3: And yeah, I have my mom, sisters, a lot of

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Speaker 3: unbelievably close friends that are really somewhat far away, but

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Speaker 3: there's still very very supportive and very helpful, and it

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Speaker 3: keeps me sane.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, being able to reach out to them when you

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Speaker 1: just need a little break, when you need some advice

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Speaker 1: or need somebody to just cheer you on or pick

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Speaker 1: you up. It's so important. So you're doing great, thank you. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think you're doing great. And then, you know what,

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Speaker 1: every day is a new day. Even if you suck

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Speaker 1: at being great one day, or if you if you're

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Speaker 1: not your best, you don't show up your best. You

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Speaker 1: know one day it's okay, give yourself a break and

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Speaker 1: know that in the morning it's a new opportunity to

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Speaker 1: put your best foot forward and try again. You know,

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Speaker 1: it's all we can do, just keep trying.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, No, you're absolutely right.

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Speaker 1: I love that. Well, thank you very listening to the

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Speaker 1: podcast and find support in me, I hope, or watch

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Speaker 1: the old show. Whatever I do, I do, can do

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Speaker 1: I do.

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Speaker 3: I work forty five minutes away from my daughter Grose

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Speaker 3: to school, so on my car rides there to and

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Speaker 3: from I put on that's like my podcast time, which

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Speaker 3: is also extremely helpful. It's like a television, so it's

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Speaker 3: just like just me and my podcast. I have like

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Speaker 3: my whole eye, like an order. I watch them in

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Speaker 3: every week.

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Speaker 2: It's a whole thing.

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Speaker 1: Okay, good, I'm so glad to be on your your roster.

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Speaker 2: You're you're on my roster twice.

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Speaker 1: He is so nice talking to you. I want to

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Speaker 1: ask you a question. What was your last I choose me.

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Speaker 2: Moment finding time to do your podcast.

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Speaker 1: To come talk to me.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I was so excited, like, no matter what's happening, I'm

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Speaker 3: going to do Jenny Garth's podcast.

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Speaker 2: This is the coolest thing ever.

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Speaker 1: And you're right now.

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Speaker 2: Besides that, I'm at work.

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Speaker 3: Yes, my boss knew. I'm actually in her office. She

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Speaker 3: was like, oh my god, that's so cool. So yes,

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Speaker 3: like I was like, not messing around with doing your podcast.

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Speaker 1: We'll tell your boss, I said, thank you.

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Speaker 2: I'm sure she'll listen.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for listening, and thank you for for course

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Speaker 1: seeing you.

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Speaker 3: Thank you and thank you for everything you're doing. I

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Speaker 3: see you all the stuff you're doing, the women's lunches

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Speaker 3: you're having, and I choose me. It's really, really, really

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Speaker 3: helpful to all women just to hear it all the

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Speaker 3: way around, because you are not Your platform is much

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Speaker 3: different than let's say mine.

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Speaker 2: What really is a great thing the way you're're sing

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Speaker 2: and I really appreciate it.

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Speaker 1: I'm so glad. Thank you. That means so much to me.

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Speaker 2: Have a great day you too, Rendy.

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Speaker 6: Hi, Hi, how are you.

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Speaker 1: I'm good. It's so nice to meet you.

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Speaker 5: You too.

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Speaker 1: It looks like you're at your place of work. I am, Yes,

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Speaker 1: it's in the middle of the workday. Thank you so

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Speaker 1: much for taking time out to talk to me. What's

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Speaker 1: your question?

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Speaker 7: Okay?

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Speaker 8: So I listened to your podcast on Jenny's Journals and

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Speaker 8: you talked about incident with your daughter. She was upset,

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Speaker 8: calling you narsis, and so you talked about being able

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Speaker 8: to just let your kids fill their emotions and vent

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Speaker 8: without taking it personally.

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Speaker 2: I want to know how you do that.

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Speaker 1: Oof. It's hard because we are moms. We give them

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Speaker 1: everything we have and then they just trample on it,

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Speaker 1: scrunch it up and throw it back at us like

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Speaker 1: a bod Sometimes, you know, we live for those moments

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Speaker 1: when we get the snuggles and I love yous and

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Speaker 1: the thank yous, yeah, but we can't control how often

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Speaker 1: those come. And I found myself just having to really

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Speaker 1: forget that they were ever going to come, just to

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Speaker 1: you know, to be able to give unconditionally and be

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Speaker 1: that mom that that consistent even when they're a little shitheads,

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Speaker 1: we consistently love them no matter what, like unconditionally. And

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Speaker 1: I think it's so important that we adopt that mindset

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Speaker 1: because it's really important to give our children that safe

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Speaker 1: place to vent where they know they're not going to

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Speaker 1: be judged, and it really gives them that opportunity to

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Speaker 1: to process all the emotions that they're feeling, because there's

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Speaker 1: so much being thrown at young people today and I

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Speaker 1: don't myself know how they handle it as well as

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Speaker 1: they do most of the time. And I'm you know,

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Speaker 1: like I sit there and look at them and think, Wow,

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Speaker 1: you're amazing that you're getting through all of this. But

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Speaker 1: it's really important to remind them that it's okay to vent,

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Speaker 1: it's okay to let it all out sometimes. And I

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Speaker 1: always say to my girls, listen, listen, I'd rather you

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Speaker 1: you know, come home and treat me badly or you know,

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Speaker 1: disrespect me than going out there and doing it to

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Speaker 1: your peers or your teachers or people that you work with,

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Speaker 1: or whatever their circumstances are. Because I'm I'm always going

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Speaker 1: to love you no matter what, and I think when

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Speaker 1: they know you're always going to love them no matter

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Speaker 1: what and not judge them, because I've seen the damage

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Speaker 1: it can do when a parent judges somebody for having

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Speaker 1: their feelings, and the damage that I see that that

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Speaker 1: does makes me just want to be more of a

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Speaker 1: sounding board for them, you know, just be more loving

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Speaker 1: and unconditional and understanding when they have to have those

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Speaker 1: eruptions because they have to let it out, you know. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: there's a book called The Four Agreements. Have you heard

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Speaker 1: of it? I? No, it's called the Four Agreements. It's

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Speaker 1: a tiny little book. I'm fully blanking on the author

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Speaker 1: and I can't see that far to see the title

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Speaker 1: of it, but it's right up there on my bookshelf.

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Speaker 1: That is a book that was the foundation for me

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Speaker 1: to really stop taking not just stuff from my kids personally,

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Speaker 1: but anything personally in life, because that's so damaging to

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Speaker 1: be to walk around and take everything personally when nothing

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Speaker 1: actually needs to be taken personally, everybody's doing their own thing,

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Speaker 1: nobody's thinking about how it's going to affect you. So

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Speaker 1: I think that reading the Four Agreements was a huge

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Speaker 1: stuff for me. And that's one of the agreements, and

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Speaker 1: it is take nothing personally, okay, So that might help.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I'll look into that.

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Speaker 8: Thank you.

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Speaker 1: Another thing that I always said to my girls. This

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Speaker 1: is another little thing that I did when they were

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Speaker 1: in their deepest, darkest moments of despair or their biggest feelings,

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Speaker 1: you know, like I would just sit and listen and

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Speaker 1: not interrupt and just continue to listen even when there

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Speaker 1: was silence. I wouldn't say anything. I would just sit

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Speaker 1: there until they keep talking, and then when it was

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Speaker 1: all out, I would say, you know what, I really

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Speaker 1: wish I had a magic wand that I could wave

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Speaker 1: and fix all of this for you. But I don't.

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Speaker 1: And I think in me acknowledging that even I wish

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Speaker 1: I could fix everything, but I can't help them to

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Speaker 1: sort of self regulate and realize, oh okay, even my

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Speaker 1: mom can't do anything about what's happening in this moment.

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Speaker 1: But everything's going to be okay because I still feel loved. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So that would be what I would do with my

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Speaker 1: you know what I've done in my life with my girls.

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Speaker 1: And you know, you have to be like like a

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Speaker 1: duck or like teflon and just let roll right off

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Speaker 1: of you because they love you so much. They just

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Speaker 1: have so much else going on and they got to

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Speaker 1: get it out. And if it's got to get out,

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Speaker 1: I'd rather it come to me first so they can

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Speaker 1: feel that support and that love, because if they vent

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Speaker 1: on other people, it's not going to feel the same

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Speaker 1: for them.

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Speaker 9: Right.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, great view point, Thank you.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate that, But go cry. I mean sometimes it hurts.

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Speaker 1: They hurt your feelings, their soul crushers, they suck it

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Speaker 1: out of you, like all the things. Being a mom

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Speaker 1: is so hard on top of being a human, you know,

441
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,080
Speaker 1: and you're just figuring it out just like they are.

442
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:32,119
Speaker 1: We're all figuring our lives out as we go. And

443
00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:35,600
Speaker 1: oftentimes I'll say to my kids, like I done, I've

444
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:37,520
Speaker 1: never done this before. I've never been right here in

445
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:40,080
Speaker 1: this moment before. So I don't have all the answers

446
00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:42,000
Speaker 1: and I don't know the right thing to say, but

447
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:43,520
Speaker 1: I know that I love you, and I know that

448
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:46,040
Speaker 1: everything is going to be okay because we're together and

449
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:46,760
Speaker 1: we have each other.

450
00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:48,080
Speaker 4: I appreciate that.

451
00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:51,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, you got it. I hope that helps.

452
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:51,800
Speaker 2: Thank you.

453
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:53,000
Speaker 7: I appreciate it really.

454
00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:55,720
Speaker 1: Thank you for being on.

455
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:59,080
Speaker 8: Yeah, most definitely thank you for allowing me this opportunity.

456
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:03,320
Speaker 1: But wait, wait, wait, I have to ask you. Oh yeah, Brindy,

457
00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:04,920
Speaker 1: what was your last I choose me moment?

458
00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:09,600
Speaker 8: So, as a mom of five and a full time employee,

459
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:12,000
Speaker 8: my choose me moment was going back to school full

460
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,879
Speaker 8: time on top of all that fun stuff. So yes,

461
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:20,160
Speaker 8: I will be starting on Chico State next next semester January,

462
00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:21,960
Speaker 8: start my bachelor's and social work.

463
00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:24,879
Speaker 1: Amazing. How do you find time? Wow?

464
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:29,480
Speaker 7: I really don't. I just figure it out, just do it.

465
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:32,320
Speaker 1: You're right, Yeah, I love that. You know what, You're

466
00:22:32,359 --> 00:22:35,800
Speaker 1: not afraid. That's what it takes to succeed, you know

467
00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:38,440
Speaker 1: in life, is to find out what you want to

468
00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:40,359
Speaker 1: do and do it and don't let all the little,

469
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:44,640
Speaker 1: you know, obstacles keep you from doing it. Amazing. You're

470
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:47,359
Speaker 1: such a great role model for your kids. Thank you,

471
00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:51,040
Speaker 1: Thank you, You're welcome. I love you. Have a great day,

472
00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:53,920
Speaker 1: all right, thanks bye?

473
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:56,880
Speaker 6: Hello?

474
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:58,000
Speaker 1: How are you, Patricia?

475
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:00,000
Speaker 7: I'm good? How are you.

476
00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:04,120
Speaker 1: I'm so good. You're calling in from Redlands, California.

477
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:07,800
Speaker 7: I am, but I'm actually caretaking for my sister who's

478
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:10,760
Speaker 7: having spinal surgery right now. So I'm actually in Arizona.

479
00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:13,400
Speaker 7: But okay, that's where I do reside as in Redlands.

480
00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:16,400
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, that's a you're a very good sister, first

481
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:18,200
Speaker 1: of all, very.

482
00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:20,919
Speaker 7: Nice with the territory of being an RN. You know,

483
00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:22,800
Speaker 7: I'm happy to do it.

484
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,920
Speaker 1: Oh, that would be nice to have a sister that's

485
00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:27,880
Speaker 1: an r N. I see that. I see that. What's

486
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:28,399
Speaker 1: your question?

487
00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:33,040
Speaker 7: Yeah, thank you so much. So I was asking is

488
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:36,639
Speaker 7: how is a woman? Have you been able to temper

489
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:41,359
Speaker 7: between being vulnerable and strong? What things would you say?

490
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:44,800
Speaker 7: Can you pull out of your tool belt that you know,

491
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:47,560
Speaker 7: keep you grounded, give you joy?

492
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:52,320
Speaker 1: Well, I think that in order to even have access

493
00:23:52,359 --> 00:23:54,720
Speaker 1: to tools in your tool belt, or you know, even

494
00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:58,480
Speaker 1: the capacity to be able to be strong and or vulnerable,

495
00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:02,240
Speaker 1: you need to start by practicing self care. You know,

496
00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:06,280
Speaker 1: you need to start with yourself. You need to prioritize

497
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:09,239
Speaker 1: the activities and the things in your life that nourish you,

498
00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:12,479
Speaker 1: that nourish your mind and your body, like exercise and

499
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:17,159
Speaker 1: healthy eating, getting enough sleep, you know, really remembering to

500
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:22,160
Speaker 1: take care of yourself will inevitably make you this strong

501
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:24,879
Speaker 1: platform where you can be anything you want to be. Really,

502
00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:29,320
Speaker 1: and if you want to be strong and vulnerable at

503
00:24:29,359 --> 00:24:31,720
Speaker 1: the same time, a lot of people might think that

504
00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:36,439
Speaker 1: those two things don't co exist together, but the fact is,

505
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:43,280
Speaker 1: you know, being strong is a sign of being vulnerable.

506
00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:45,719
Speaker 1: You have to be vulnerable in order to be strong,

507
00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:49,720
Speaker 1: and vulnerability is often thought of as a weakness, I think,

508
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:56,560
Speaker 1: especially in women. You know, vulnerability kind of got a

509
00:24:56,560 --> 00:25:01,720
Speaker 1: bad rap a long time ago, when actual really being

510
00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:04,520
Speaker 1: vulnerable is just about letting people get to know the

511
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:08,000
Speaker 1: real you and not covering stuff up.

512
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:08,800
Speaker 6: You know.

513
00:25:10,119 --> 00:25:11,919
Speaker 7: Yeah, authenticity for sure.

514
00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:16,240
Speaker 1: Absolutely, when you are who you are, people can see

515
00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:19,639
Speaker 1: it and smell it and feel it a mile away.

516
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:24,280
Speaker 7: Yeah, And I've I've learned when you talk people up,

517
00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:28,320
Speaker 7: not being phony or fake, but when you can genuinely

518
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:34,919
Speaker 7: celebrate with somebody else's when and not find any joy

519
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:40,040
Speaker 7: in cutting people down. It just I don't know, there's

520
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:43,960
Speaker 7: just there's just something good about being able to talk

521
00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:49,800
Speaker 7: someone up or to compliment somebody, finding something in them,

522
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:50,320
Speaker 7: the good of.

523
00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:52,960
Speaker 1: Someone you know, Yeah, I love that I love that.

524
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,560
Speaker 1: I remember that point in my life as I, you know,

525
00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:57,840
Speaker 1: grew up. I don't even know how old I was,

526
00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:01,399
Speaker 1: but I decided I don't want to go about people anymore.

527
00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:04,400
Speaker 1: I don't want to talk badly about anyone anymore because

528
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:07,520
Speaker 1: it doesn't feel good, and I'm sure it wouldn't feel

529
00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:09,119
Speaker 1: good to them.

530
00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:15,480
Speaker 7: Yeah, and really you're reciprocating that joy of giving something.

531
00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:19,119
Speaker 1: Nice, you know, treating people the way you would want

532
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:19,639
Speaker 1: to be treated.

533
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:20,680
Speaker 3: Mm hmm.

534
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:24,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that. I think that comes down to

535
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:28,080
Speaker 1: just being an active listener too. I think listening to

536
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:32,800
Speaker 1: other people is a great place to focus, you know,

537
00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:35,880
Speaker 1: a lot of your energy, because that's like the foundation

538
00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:40,040
Speaker 1: of being able to give of yourself to others is

539
00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:42,440
Speaker 1: to fully understand where they're coming from or what they're

540
00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:44,760
Speaker 1: feeling in any given moment.

541
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:51,080
Speaker 7: Yeah, the gift of active listening, it really you can

542
00:26:51,119 --> 00:26:54,480
Speaker 7: pick up a lot in that without even saying a word.

543
00:26:54,600 --> 00:27:01,400
Speaker 7: And being still and being present is a verb, it's

544
00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:04,679
Speaker 7: it's in action, and you can very much engage with

545
00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:10,160
Speaker 7: eye contact and leaning in and a touch without a word.

546
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:11,840
Speaker 7: Sometimes that has more effect.

547
00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:12,560
Speaker 9: M h.

548
00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:15,600
Speaker 1: I mean, you know all the tricks already being an rn.

549
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:20,199
Speaker 1: It sounds like you are used to comforting people, comforting others,

550
00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:24,240
Speaker 1: taking care of other people. Are you able to turn

551
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:27,159
Speaker 1: that in on yourself?

552
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 7: Very much? I've been able to, you know, even caretaking

553
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:38,639
Speaker 7: for my sister now, you know, it's it's been a

554
00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:42,920
Speaker 7: discipline to still I'm getting out and doing the walk

555
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:44,320
Speaker 7: in the morning before she wakes.

556
00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:45,960
Speaker 1: I love that.

557
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:53,040
Speaker 7: Yeah, getting that sunshine with my doggie. You know, I

558
00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:56,960
Speaker 7: don't have to be strong all the time for her

559
00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:02,000
Speaker 7: without me being like, without me reciprocating something. You know,

560
00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:05,360
Speaker 7: I have to fill my tank. So you know, it's

561
00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:09,359
Speaker 7: it's really about I have to give from overflow. So

562
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:12,879
Speaker 7: if it means going for that walk, if it means

563
00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:17,840
Speaker 7: finding time to have my devotions, you know, even this

564
00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:19,920
Speaker 7: right now, you know this is a little escape, but

565
00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:24,760
Speaker 7: it's a joy and it's you know, with my favorite actress,

566
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:27,439
Speaker 7: you know who I was brought up with, and you

567
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:30,000
Speaker 7: know I love it, and so it's a joy. And

568
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:32,440
Speaker 7: you know that's a joy that I'll share with her

569
00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:33,360
Speaker 7: when I go back to her.

570
00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:36,080
Speaker 1: So you know, I am happy to be something that

571
00:28:36,119 --> 00:28:40,920
Speaker 1: fills your cup. It sounds that you are doing all

572
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:43,920
Speaker 1: the right things in life because you have a feeling.

573
00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:47,480
Speaker 1: I get this just general feeling of peace and love

574
00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:52,160
Speaker 1: from you, and confidence, like an inner quiet, beautiful confidence

575
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:54,920
Speaker 1: and not boastful, like I just feel like you're the

576
00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:56,840
Speaker 1: real deal. So I think we can all learn a

577
00:28:56,840 --> 00:28:57,440
Speaker 1: lot from you.

578
00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:04,920
Speaker 7: It's life is fragile, and people are fragile. I've really

579
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:09,600
Speaker 7: learned that. And and I want to do some medical

580
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:14,640
Speaker 7: missionary work next year. And so you do have to

581
00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:19,840
Speaker 7: be authentic, but you always have to feel your tank

582
00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:24,400
Speaker 7: and you can't give without you having the abundance in

583
00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:28,360
Speaker 7: your heart, you know, you having the joy. It's I

584
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:32,840
Speaker 7: don't do well being phony or fake, and and I

585
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:36,400
Speaker 7: want to be able to see people get better. But

586
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:41,600
Speaker 7: but I want to do it being present and and

587
00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:44,479
Speaker 7: and I have to use all my senses, my eyes, ears,

588
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:48,400
Speaker 7: you know, listening without even them saying a word, listening

589
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:53,160
Speaker 7: to their respirations, so, you know, being at one hundred percent.

590
00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:57,280
Speaker 7: I have to make sure that I'm on point with

591
00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:01,160
Speaker 7: me having my own private time and you know, I

592
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:04,640
Speaker 7: mean just enjoying the shower a little longer, you know,

593
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:07,680
Speaker 7: really enjoying that hot cup of tea with the honey

594
00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:13,080
Speaker 7: and all of those essential things. And you know, exercisiness

595
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:18,840
Speaker 7: is vital. So yeah, it's it's it's a gift. It's

596
00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:21,840
Speaker 7: a gift that God has given me. But it's also

597
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:24,520
Speaker 7: a gift to share. And then when people get better.

598
00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:26,920
Speaker 7: You know, that's a good one too.

599
00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:30,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, your work there is done. I love that you

600
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,840
Speaker 1: feel so grateful too, Like I feel like a lot

601
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:36,880
Speaker 1: of foundation for you, taking care of you is being

602
00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:39,800
Speaker 1: grateful for like you said, that hot cup of tea

603
00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:40,959
Speaker 1: or that longer shower.

604
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:44,120
Speaker 7: You know, I just took a picture on the side

605
00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:47,920
Speaker 7: and I'm doing a grateful you know, every day on

606
00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:49,720
Speaker 7: my you know, Instagram.

607
00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:51,680
Speaker 4: And Facebook and so love, love, love.

608
00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:55,160
Speaker 7: My Instagram post tomorrow is going to be like a

609
00:30:55,200 --> 00:31:00,800
Speaker 7: grateful day number twenty one of being on I made

610
00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:06,160
Speaker 7: the list, you know. Amazing those little things, you know,

611
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:07,720
Speaker 7: they matter, They.

612
00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:10,680
Speaker 1: Matter, I think just like you know, having conversations with

613
00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:15,720
Speaker 1: like minded people, people that have the same priorities as

614
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:18,760
Speaker 1: you do, I think that's real. That also can be

615
00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:23,360
Speaker 1: a form of self care. So I'm so happy to be.

616
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:27,440
Speaker 7: Align myself with I've I've learned in my fifties. Now

617
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:30,640
Speaker 7: do you aligning yourself with people that run the same

618
00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:35,240
Speaker 7: race as you do? You know, with joy and passion

619
00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:43,000
Speaker 7: and motivation, and you know, being being health minded. You know,

620
00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:47,240
Speaker 7: if not faster, you know, but yeah, and also people

621
00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:51,200
Speaker 7: that are willing to come alongside you and and maybe

622
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:54,120
Speaker 7: slow down in order to pick up the pace with them.

623
00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:58,880
Speaker 7: You know. No, a good leader is good without them

624
00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:02,120
Speaker 7: knowing how to be a mm hmm part of the group.

625
00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:05,320
Speaker 1: So I think that you touched on two really important things.

626
00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:10,760
Speaker 1: One is surrounding yourself with like minded people, but also

627
00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:15,240
Speaker 1: somebody that's even better than you. Like, like my best

628
00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:20,840
Speaker 1: friend Adele is the best person I know, and I

629
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:25,520
Speaker 1: try to be like more like adel Like on a

630
00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:27,600
Speaker 1: daily basis, I think to myself, what would Adele do

631
00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:31,520
Speaker 1: in this moment. And just also in business, just surrounding

632
00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:34,160
Speaker 1: yourself with people that are more accomplished than you or

633
00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:39,240
Speaker 1: more have more experience than you, and just keeping yourself

634
00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:41,440
Speaker 1: around people that are bringing you up and not pulling

635
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:45,000
Speaker 1: you down. And I know, as I when I entered

636
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:47,000
Speaker 1: my fifties, that was sort of a time for me

637
00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:49,920
Speaker 1: to clean house a little bit and really assess those

638
00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:54,400
Speaker 1: relationships that weren't checking off all the boxes. I had

639
00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:57,720
Speaker 1: quite a number of relationships that were checking off some

640
00:32:57,800 --> 00:33:04,239
Speaker 1: of the boxes, sure, boxes like the positivity and the

641
00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:08,360
Speaker 1: gratitude and then just just that leading with love and kindness,

642
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:12,080
Speaker 1: those moments, those boxes, I really those are so important

643
00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:14,160
Speaker 1: to me in the people that I surround myself with,

644
00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:16,520
Speaker 1: and I think.

645
00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:20,120
Speaker 7: That you know sometimes I just I just touched upon

646
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:22,760
Speaker 7: this the other day about you know, looking at the

647
00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:27,640
Speaker 7: fall behind me. There's sometimes different seasons for certain people,

648
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:33,120
Speaker 7: and we don't realize when sometimes those friendships like they've

649
00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:39,520
Speaker 7: overstayed their visit and whether you have grown beyond that friendship,

650
00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:43,760
Speaker 7: whether you know, you're two people are in different places

651
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:46,640
Speaker 7: in life and it's almost like you want to stay

652
00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:50,600
Speaker 7: just to preserve it. But it's almost it's almost like

653
00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:53,600
Speaker 7: square peg round hole, like it's not working like it

654
00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:57,520
Speaker 7: did before, and it's and it's okay to let things go,

655
00:33:57,640 --> 00:33:59,960
Speaker 7: but you know, if it's meant to be, it'll come back.

656
00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:03,160
Speaker 1: Absolutely. I Mean, it's really hard to let go of

657
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:09,880
Speaker 1: friendships because you know, friendships take a lot of nurturing,

658
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:13,600
Speaker 1: a lot of energy and oftentimes a lot of time,

659
00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:18,640
Speaker 1: you know, years, time spent, and it's really really hard

660
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:23,160
Speaker 1: to let things go. And yeah, I've had to do

661
00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:26,239
Speaker 1: that in my life a number of times, and just

662
00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:28,799
Speaker 1: go ahead and go through the grieving process with that too,

663
00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:31,360
Speaker 1: because when you do decide that a friendship has reached,

664
00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:37,440
Speaker 1: you know, it's life expectancy for you. It's hard to

665
00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:41,160
Speaker 1: make that decision and to give yourself some credit and

666
00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:45,920
Speaker 1: grace and love and support in making that tough decision,

667
00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:47,040
Speaker 1: because it's not easy.

668
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:49,839
Speaker 7: Boy, bring princess grace. That's a tough one.

669
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:54,719
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's all we need though it's a little great.

670
00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:58,480
Speaker 7: Yes, if we've received it, we definitely should share it

671
00:34:58,520 --> 00:34:59,640
Speaker 7: with ourselves and others.

672
00:35:00,719 --> 00:35:02,960
Speaker 1: I have to ask you, Patricia, before I let you go,

673
00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:06,120
Speaker 1: what was your last I Choose me moment?

674
00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:12,920
Speaker 10: The last I choose me moment was, Yeah, reacheen out

675
00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:17,120
Speaker 10: to someone who has been wanting to speak with me,

676
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:21,520
Speaker 10: and so I decided that I'm going to be open

677
00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:22,479
Speaker 10: to choosing love.

678
00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:24,960
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm so excited right now. I can

679
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:28,600
Speaker 1: I'm so. I can tell the way you're talking that

680
00:35:28,719 --> 00:35:32,480
Speaker 1: this is uncharted territory and you're feeling a little vulnerable,

681
00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:33,680
Speaker 1: and I love it for you.

682
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:38,640
Speaker 7: Yeah, it's it's definitely you know, these are different times,

683
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:43,799
Speaker 7: and yeah, so being able to be use wisdom with

684
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:47,800
Speaker 7: that without letting your heart get who carried away. And

685
00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:51,360
Speaker 7: but I but I also don't want to be living

686
00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:54,880
Speaker 7: in hesitation. And I do want I do want to

687
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:57,880
Speaker 7: share love as well as receive it, you know, because

688
00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:04,000
Speaker 7: that's what we're made for a partnership. And so yeah.

689
00:36:02,719 --> 00:36:05,160
Speaker 1: I'm so excited. This sounds like a whole new chapter

690
00:36:05,239 --> 00:36:07,440
Speaker 1: for you that you're just kind of cracking open the

691
00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:11,000
Speaker 1: pages too. And it starts with that, with being open.

692
00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:13,640
Speaker 1: That's that's all you gotta do for right now, is

693
00:36:13,719 --> 00:36:14,360
Speaker 1: just be open.

694
00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:15,360
Speaker 7: Yes.

695
00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:18,279
Speaker 1: One thing I always would when I would start to

696
00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:21,839
Speaker 1: get involved or like my mind would get ahead of

697
00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:25,680
Speaker 1: reality or my heart would get ahead of reality, I

698
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:29,520
Speaker 1: would just remind myself we'll see, we'll see how a

699
00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:32,520
Speaker 1: therapist tell me to just keep that in mind. Like

700
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:35,040
Speaker 1: when you think about that person, just think, oh, we'll

701
00:36:35,040 --> 00:36:36,560
Speaker 1: see never know.

702
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:43,600
Speaker 7: Yeah, you know, it's it's it's uh, it's it is.

703
00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:48,160
Speaker 7: It's uncharted territory, but it's it's good. It's all good,

704
00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:51,399
Speaker 7: and and I'm I'm looking forward.

705
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:54,600
Speaker 1: And this person is extremely lucky. You're an amazing human.

706
00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:59,520
Speaker 1: It's awesome. Thank you for sharing yourself.

707
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:02,919
Speaker 7: With us likewise likewise, and thank you for sharing your

708
00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:08,320
Speaker 7: gift of just you know you you've taken just such

709
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:11,760
Speaker 7: so many different levels of who you are in life,

710
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:18,080
Speaker 7: and and just this platform is really a great way

711
00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:21,279
Speaker 7: for people to see who you are. But but you're

712
00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:26,160
Speaker 7: also it's just you're always evolving. I love that. I

713
00:37:26,239 --> 00:37:29,600
Speaker 7: love that in people because you just see different sides,

714
00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:34,120
Speaker 7: and you know, it's been a joy and it's been

715
00:37:34,239 --> 00:37:38,120
Speaker 7: fun to just see your you know, different ways that

716
00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:41,960
Speaker 7: you know you're contributing and you know, the world is

717
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:43,400
Speaker 7: a lucky place to have you girls.

718
00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:46,920
Speaker 1: Oh you got to keep on trucking. That's what I say.

719
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:50,719
Speaker 1: Thank you for Trisia, Good luck on your new adventure.

720
00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:53,359
Speaker 7: Thank you, take care.

721
00:37:53,960 --> 00:38:03,880
Speaker 1: Why Hi, Sarah, how are you?

722
00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:05,400
Speaker 4: I'm good? Thank you?

723
00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:05,920
Speaker 6: How are you?

724
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:08,640
Speaker 1: I'm great? I'm better now to be talking to you.

725
00:38:08,719 --> 00:38:09,719
Speaker 1: This is so much fun.

726
00:38:10,280 --> 00:38:12,920
Speaker 6: Yeah, this is exciting getting to see.

727
00:38:12,719 --> 00:38:17,880
Speaker 1: The people that listen to the pod and yeah, absolutely good.

728
00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:20,200
Speaker 1: What's your question? What do you want to talk about?

729
00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:24,040
Speaker 6: Yeah, so my question was really around your decision to

730
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:28,960
Speaker 6: make your hair perplacement surgery public. So what was that

731
00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:32,560
Speaker 6: tipping point for you on how much to keep private?

732
00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:34,920
Speaker 6: And when is it an appropriate time to share? And

733
00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:36,600
Speaker 6: when is that value in sharing?

734
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:38,279
Speaker 4: Yeah?

735
00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:40,319
Speaker 1: I held on to that secret for a while because

736
00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:42,600
Speaker 1: I had to think it through, I had to really

737
00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:45,880
Speaker 1: be yeah sure that I wanted to share something so

738
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:49,400
Speaker 1: deeply personal. I think the tipping point for me is

739
00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:53,279
Speaker 1: always I just have to go back to being myself

740
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:58,200
Speaker 1: because and being honest. And I think that when we

741
00:38:58,239 --> 00:39:02,040
Speaker 1: are authentic and honest about who we are and what

742
00:39:02,080 --> 00:39:07,520
Speaker 1: we're going through in our lives, there's this beautiful sympotico

743
00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:11,719
Speaker 1: like kismity relationship that you form with people that you

744
00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:15,680
Speaker 1: don't even know, but that people that can you come

745
00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:19,640
Speaker 1: in contact with. However, however that happens, people feel that

746
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:23,359
Speaker 1: and it resonates and it's like a reciprocal thing. So

747
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:27,560
Speaker 1: for me, it was just about sharing all of who

748
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:31,279
Speaker 1: I am with people so that they can really be

749
00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:33,759
Speaker 1: all of who they are with the people in their

750
00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:36,560
Speaker 1: lives and just sort of like reinforcing the fact that

751
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:38,960
Speaker 1: it's okay to be authentic, it's okay to be flawed,

752
00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:41,960
Speaker 1: it's okay to have things on our bodies that are

753
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:45,560
Speaker 1: different and breaking down, and you know, all our how

754
00:39:45,680 --> 00:39:48,040
Speaker 1: aging affects all of us. We're all the same. And

755
00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:50,200
Speaker 1: just because you know, maybe you saw me on TV

756
00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:52,520
Speaker 1: in the nineties, and maybe you've grown up watching me

757
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:55,040
Speaker 1: or whatever, you think I'm a famous la la la whatever.

758
00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:58,200
Speaker 1: We're all the same, and I think that that is

759
00:39:58,280 --> 00:40:00,920
Speaker 1: always just what I want out of anything I do

760
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:05,200
Speaker 1: in life, is to just have that mutual like connection.

761
00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:09,040
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, you know, and I appreciate it so much

762
00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:13,520
Speaker 6: because totally different scale and like life application. But you know,

763
00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:16,680
Speaker 6: I have a job and I run a large team,

764
00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:20,000
Speaker 6: and so running that team and having those connections with

765
00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:22,520
Speaker 6: people that work for me and work with me, and

766
00:40:22,560 --> 00:40:25,960
Speaker 6: finding that balance on where I'm comfortable sharing and I

767
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:29,719
Speaker 6: want to be authentic, but where I'm going to draw

768
00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:34,120
Speaker 6: the line and kind of protect just my personal information

769
00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:36,799
Speaker 6: is something I think a lot of us wrestle with

770
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:39,920
Speaker 6: just in different aspects and avenues of everyday life.

771
00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:41,360
Speaker 2: So that was really.

772
00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:46,400
Speaker 1: I think definitely, like especially women in business, women in leadership,

773
00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:52,400
Speaker 1: we think we have to be perfect, We think we

774
00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:54,040
Speaker 1: have to be perfect, we have to be up these

775
00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:58,160
Speaker 1: unrealistic standards that everybody needs to look up to. But

776
00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:01,239
Speaker 1: I find more often than not, when I'm authentic and

777
00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:06,160
Speaker 1: when I am my true self flaws and all the

778
00:41:06,200 --> 00:41:08,320
Speaker 1: people that work for me and with me and around

779
00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:13,839
Speaker 1: me feel that more of an authentic connection and then

780
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:18,640
Speaker 1: are somehow invested more in whatever the work is that

781
00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:19,480
Speaker 1: we're doing together.

782
00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:20,560
Speaker 9: Yeah.

783
00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:24,479
Speaker 1: So it makes them connect on even a deeper level

784
00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:27,560
Speaker 1: when they know who they're working with and for you know,

785
00:41:27,560 --> 00:41:29,640
Speaker 1: they develop a different kind of passion. But I can

786
00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:32,480
Speaker 1: totally relate and hear you and think there have been

787
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:35,440
Speaker 1: a lot of times in my life where if I

788
00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:38,880
Speaker 1: have an employee, people say, don't get too close to

789
00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:41,680
Speaker 1: your employee, don't be friends with them. You're the boss.

790
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:45,600
Speaker 1: Remember that. I know I'm the boss, like I'm you know,

791
00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:47,520
Speaker 1: I don't need to be reminded. I don't need them

792
00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:50,479
Speaker 1: to know that. They know that too. But I think

793
00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:54,799
Speaker 1: when you connect with people on that real level, on

794
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:56,879
Speaker 1: that level that we're all the same We're all going

795
00:41:56,880 --> 00:41:59,839
Speaker 1: through the same shit. Yeah, and it's okay to talk

796
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:02,520
Speaker 1: about it with one another if we need support or

797
00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:04,080
Speaker 1: if we just want to share with something, you know,

798
00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:07,279
Speaker 1: it's okay. Like it doesn't make you not a strong leader.

799
00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:11,480
Speaker 6: Right right, No, I appreciate it. I think that's that's

800
00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:15,799
Speaker 6: really valuable input and insight to have. Yeah, So thank you,

801
00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:16,680
Speaker 6: You're so welcome.

802
00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:19,360
Speaker 1: Sierra. What was aast I choose me moment?

803
00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:20,920
Speaker 6: I don't have enough.

804
00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:22,960
Speaker 2: I choose me moments, that's right.

805
00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:24,040
Speaker 1: That a lot, It's okay.

806
00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:28,239
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, So you know, working mom to teenagers, life

807
00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:31,840
Speaker 6: is busy. So I've been trying to just do simple

808
00:42:31,880 --> 00:42:35,200
Speaker 6: things like on the weekend, get a manicure, even if

809
00:42:35,239 --> 00:42:38,239
Speaker 6: it makes me late for a basketball game or so,

810
00:42:38,320 --> 00:42:41,480
Speaker 6: I'm just kind of focused on the little things. I

811
00:42:41,480 --> 00:42:43,520
Speaker 6: think one of the things I said to myself is

812
00:42:43,560 --> 00:42:46,040
Speaker 6: I'm going to take more intentional time in the morning

813
00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:50,120
Speaker 6: to be kind to myself. Because we have to be perfect,

814
00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:51,799
Speaker 6: we have to be super mom, we have to be

815
00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:54,560
Speaker 6: you know, the best employee ever and all the things,

816
00:42:55,080 --> 00:42:58,000
Speaker 6: and so I'm hard on myself. I push myself hard,

817
00:42:58,040 --> 00:43:00,440
Speaker 6: I drive hard, and so I think I think just

818
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:03,520
Speaker 6: giving myself more peace, especially as I start the day

819
00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:07,040
Speaker 6: with that like intentionality, will actually help me get through,

820
00:43:07,360 --> 00:43:09,799
Speaker 6: you know, the rest of the year. And because I

821
00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:12,520
Speaker 6: kind of do things in sprints, right like finish lines.

822
00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:14,120
Speaker 1: But me too, like let me get through this and

823
00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:15,640
Speaker 1: then I'll get through that, and then I'll get through

824
00:43:15,719 --> 00:43:17,120
Speaker 1: that yep, yep.

825
00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:19,560
Speaker 6: And I just I don't know, a little bit more manageable.

826
00:43:19,880 --> 00:43:23,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like that's kind of like compartmentalizing our like our

827
00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:26,920
Speaker 1: to dos, you know, but you're right, we need to

828
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:29,760
Speaker 1: start with that foundation of like self care and self

829
00:43:29,760 --> 00:43:32,080
Speaker 1: love in order to be able to handle all those

830
00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:34,040
Speaker 1: things right, right.

831
00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:35,839
Speaker 6: And then I think it's also important as a parent

832
00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:38,520
Speaker 6: to be modeling that right, to show my kids that

833
00:43:38,560 --> 00:43:41,000
Speaker 6: I care about myself and I take care of myself

834
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:42,919
Speaker 6: and I matter, and that I you know, I won't

835
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:45,920
Speaker 6: run myself into the ground because I don't want them

836
00:43:45,960 --> 00:43:46,920
Speaker 6: to so.

837
00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:49,200
Speaker 1: And and you want to be there for them. And

838
00:43:49,239 --> 00:43:51,160
Speaker 1: if you run yourself into the ground, who's going to

839
00:43:51,280 --> 00:43:51,799
Speaker 1: be the mom?

840
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:52,640
Speaker 7: Right?

841
00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:53,399
Speaker 9: Right?

842
00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:56,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think there's so much more writing on the

843
00:43:56,680 --> 00:43:59,600
Speaker 1: importance of self care and self love than we ever

844
00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:04,240
Speaker 1: thought before. And I'm so happy that it's like coming

845
00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:08,080
Speaker 1: to the forefront of people's minds finally. Yeah. Yeah, I

846
00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:10,520
Speaker 1: think reach the point. Yeah, we've reached the point where

847
00:44:10,520 --> 00:44:13,279
Speaker 1: we acknowledge like, oh my god, this is unsustainable. Like

848
00:44:13,320 --> 00:44:16,040
Speaker 1: what this life that I'm trying to fool people, this

849
00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:19,520
Speaker 1: Instagram life that I'm trying to show everybody is so

850
00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:21,640
Speaker 1: unrealistic and it's wearing me thin.

851
00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:22,960
Speaker 5: Yeah.

852
00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:26,879
Speaker 6: Yeah, well, and I think people see, you know, even

853
00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:30,200
Speaker 6: I would do funny things with the back to school pictures, right,

854
00:44:30,239 --> 00:44:33,040
Speaker 6: I would post two side by side, the one for insta,

855
00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:35,320
Speaker 6: which is like the kids standing there smiling, looking a

856
00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:37,839
Speaker 6: little happy, and then the one that was the first

857
00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:40,040
Speaker 6: one on the reel where they're like pulling at each

858
00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:43,920
Speaker 6: other and their's signs flying everywhere. Because people do just

859
00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:47,200
Speaker 6: appreciate that this, you know, this picture perfect, it doesn't exist,

860
00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:49,600
Speaker 6: and putting it out there as a standard for each

861
00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:50,960
Speaker 6: other is it's not helpful.

862
00:44:50,960 --> 00:44:55,319
Speaker 1: It's not, no, it's awful. Its just that thing that

863
00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:59,440
Speaker 1: makes us compare our lives to other people, like take over. Yeah,

864
00:44:59,719 --> 00:45:02,880
Speaker 1: it's like a disease almost in your brain. It just

865
00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:04,920
Speaker 1: consumes you when you start scrolling.

866
00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:06,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, I love it.

867
00:45:06,760 --> 00:45:10,839
Speaker 1: So starting with the little things is the perfect way

868
00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:14,560
Speaker 1: to like enter into that world of choosing yourself and

869
00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:20,759
Speaker 1: feeling comfortable choosing yourself. Yeah, because you can feel a

870
00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:25,359
Speaker 1: little uncomfy sometimes, for sure. I'm so happy that you're

871
00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:29,440
Speaker 1: doing that and for your parents. You're doing great, Sarah,

872
00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:31,879
Speaker 1: keep it up. I love it, Thank you, appreciate it.

873
00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:32,960
Speaker 7: You Vet.

874
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:44,640
Speaker 1: Hi, Melissa, Hi, how are you good?

875
00:45:44,680 --> 00:45:45,239
Speaker 7: How are you?

876
00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:47,000
Speaker 1: I'm so happy to talk to you.

877
00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:48,680
Speaker 4: I'm so happy to talk to you.

878
00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:53,480
Speaker 1: Okay, So you're forty nine. You're from Marion, Iowa, Iowa. Yes,

879
00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:57,160
Speaker 1: and I love it Yes, Midwestern Okay.

880
00:45:56,920 --> 00:45:59,640
Speaker 4: And western absolutely. And I am the baby of the

881
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:03,320
Speaker 4: family like you. So yep, very similar, very similar.

882
00:46:03,520 --> 00:46:04,960
Speaker 1: Yes cool, that's so cool.

883
00:46:05,480 --> 00:46:06,360
Speaker 9: What is your question?

884
00:46:06,440 --> 00:46:07,360
Speaker 1: What do you want to talk about?

885
00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:08,000
Speaker 9: Oh?

886
00:46:08,160 --> 00:46:11,360
Speaker 4: Lots, but we'll just start with one. I just wanted

887
00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:12,600
Speaker 4: to know, like I really started.

888
00:46:12,880 --> 00:46:16,480
Speaker 11: Obviously, I've followed you since I've been fifteen, so watching

889
00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:19,759
Speaker 11: in Beverly Hills nine two want to know? So I

890
00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:22,400
Speaker 11: just I just have started following you, and I choose

891
00:46:22,440 --> 00:46:24,960
Speaker 11: me podcasts and everything that you've talked about has been

892
00:46:24,960 --> 00:46:30,040
Speaker 11: such an inspiration. And I turned forty nine, and really, Jenny,

893
00:46:30,080 --> 00:46:31,480
Speaker 11: I woke up and I was like, who am I

894
00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:32,080
Speaker 11: as a person?

895
00:46:32,280 --> 00:46:32,440
Speaker 6: Right?

896
00:46:32,560 --> 00:46:34,560
Speaker 11: Like how like like I.

897
00:46:34,560 --> 00:46:35,160
Speaker 4: Hit that early.

898
00:46:35,239 --> 00:46:37,160
Speaker 11: I know you talked about it like you know, hitting

899
00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:39,399
Speaker 11: closer to fifty And I was like, I'm forty nine

900
00:46:39,440 --> 00:46:42,000
Speaker 11: and you know I am going through I had a

901
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:44,760
Speaker 11: couple relationship changes in my life and I was looking

902
00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:45,640
Speaker 11: at who am I?

903
00:46:45,840 --> 00:46:46,719
Speaker 4: Like where do I want to be?

904
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:49,080
Speaker 11: And so I just kind of wanted to like pick

905
00:46:49,120 --> 00:46:50,680
Speaker 11: your brain and have the opportunity to talk to you

906
00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:53,919
Speaker 11: about like how do you You've reinvented yourself so many

907
00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:56,640
Speaker 11: times in your life and such an inspiration and you've

908
00:46:56,640 --> 00:46:58,880
Speaker 11: truly stayed true to who you are as a person,

909
00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:01,360
Speaker 11: and I love that, and I just want to know, like,

910
00:47:01,520 --> 00:47:03,360
Speaker 11: how how have you done that? And how have you

911
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:07,319
Speaker 11: been so successful in everything that you've done?

912
00:47:07,560 --> 00:47:10,960
Speaker 1: Oh, that's good questions, good questions as it's tricky.

913
00:47:11,280 --> 00:47:11,600
Speaker 6: It is.

914
00:47:12,160 --> 00:47:14,960
Speaker 1: Life is a roller coaster. They are ups and they're downs,

915
00:47:15,800 --> 00:47:18,040
Speaker 1: and we all go through it, you know. I think

916
00:47:18,120 --> 00:47:22,520
Speaker 1: for me, acknowledging that there are ups and downs is

917
00:47:22,640 --> 00:47:27,839
Speaker 1: really comforting because I never try to hold myself up

918
00:47:27,880 --> 00:47:32,279
Speaker 1: to some unrealistic every day is a perfect sunny day,

919
00:47:32,640 --> 00:47:32,840
Speaker 1: you know.

920
00:47:33,480 --> 00:47:33,760
Speaker 4: Yeah.

921
00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:37,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I allow myself to have my moments that

922
00:47:37,320 --> 00:47:41,760
Speaker 1: I need to just sort of recoil and maybe hide

923
00:47:41,840 --> 00:47:46,200
Speaker 1: and lick my wounds and you know, heel myself before

924
00:47:46,239 --> 00:47:49,799
Speaker 1: I peek back out into the world. I mean, reinventing

925
00:47:49,840 --> 00:47:54,040
Speaker 1: yourself is it doesn't mean a racing or discarding your

926
00:47:54,080 --> 00:47:57,000
Speaker 1: past or who you truly are. It's it's taking the

927
00:47:57,040 --> 00:48:01,560
Speaker 1: core of who you are and breathing fresh life into it,

928
00:48:01,680 --> 00:48:04,680
Speaker 1: you know. So for me that just means that looks

929
00:48:04,719 --> 00:48:07,680
Speaker 1: like getting really quiet sometimes with myself. But yeah, I

930
00:48:07,680 --> 00:48:13,200
Speaker 1: think it's just giving myself that space to get quiet

931
00:48:13,760 --> 00:48:18,000
Speaker 1: and think about who am I? Where do I come from?

932
00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:19,080
Speaker 4: Yeah?

933
00:48:19,160 --> 00:48:22,239
Speaker 1: What are my morals? Like on a core level? What

934
00:48:22,280 --> 00:48:26,000
Speaker 1: am I? What do I stand for in life? What

935
00:48:26,120 --> 00:48:29,000
Speaker 1: do I want to be remembered? How do I want

936
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:31,640
Speaker 1: to be remembered by the people that truly know me

937
00:48:31,719 --> 00:48:33,080
Speaker 1: and love me? Yeah?

938
00:48:33,360 --> 00:48:36,760
Speaker 11: Yeah, how do you like make sure that you practice

939
00:48:36,800 --> 00:48:40,040
Speaker 11: grace and you give yourself grace and choose kindness even

940
00:48:40,080 --> 00:48:43,040
Speaker 11: in those moments of weakness that I just feel like, Yeah,

941
00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:46,279
Speaker 11: it's just so yeah, like you're such an inspiration in

942
00:48:46,280 --> 00:48:49,319
Speaker 11: that level of everything that you've even been vulnerable and

943
00:48:49,360 --> 00:48:52,200
Speaker 11: shared about your opportunities and things that have happened, And

944
00:48:52,640 --> 00:48:55,160
Speaker 11: I'm so blessed. I work hard, like I said, I

945
00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:59,040
Speaker 11: have those Midwestern values, but you know sometimes it's just like, yeah,

946
00:48:59,080 --> 00:48:59,840
Speaker 11: it's hard.

947
00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:02,120
Speaker 4: It's hard. There's no one to answer you a question.

948
00:49:02,160 --> 00:49:05,560
Speaker 1: Do you feel like you're failing somehow when you have

949
00:49:05,719 --> 00:49:07,840
Speaker 1: these moments of like who am I? And what am

950
00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:09,600
Speaker 1: I doing? And what do I want?

951
00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:10,240
Speaker 4: Yeah?

952
00:49:10,360 --> 00:49:12,480
Speaker 11: Yeah, Like I just feel like I'm so hard on

953
00:49:12,520 --> 00:49:15,600
Speaker 11: myself about like I've been, I like said, I've worked

954
00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:19,280
Speaker 11: very hard my whole entire life. I have an amazing career.

955
00:49:19,480 --> 00:49:23,920
Speaker 11: I'm really really happy. I just am like empty nesting,

956
00:49:24,040 --> 00:49:25,880
Speaker 11: you know, the kids are gone. It's like one of

957
00:49:25,880 --> 00:49:28,440
Speaker 11: those things of like now you're like, Okay, you know

958
00:49:28,680 --> 00:49:30,880
Speaker 11: who am I? Who's my husband? What does this look like?

959
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:32,919
Speaker 11: And you know that next chapter of like.

960
00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:35,920
Speaker 4: All of those things that are just so amazing.

961
00:49:36,480 --> 00:49:39,319
Speaker 11: And I just think that I'm just struggling with like

962
00:49:39,440 --> 00:49:41,400
Speaker 11: how do I stay true to who I am as

963
00:49:41,440 --> 00:49:43,480
Speaker 11: a person and then make sure that I'm taking care

964
00:49:43,520 --> 00:49:44,800
Speaker 11: of those around me still?

965
00:49:45,040 --> 00:49:48,520
Speaker 4: And it's just yeah, so it's just it's such a yeah.

966
00:49:48,880 --> 00:49:50,960
Speaker 11: I think it's like that forty nine age where I'm

967
00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:53,680
Speaker 11: just like, I don't know, it just seems so weird.

968
00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:56,320
Speaker 11: Like I didn't bother me when I hit thirty, didn't

969
00:49:56,320 --> 00:49:57,799
Speaker 11: bother me when I hit forty.

970
00:49:57,520 --> 00:49:59,560
Speaker 1: And all of a sudden, forty that's differently.

971
00:50:01,080 --> 00:50:01,400
Speaker 8: Older.

972
00:50:01,440 --> 00:50:04,360
Speaker 1: You get everything hits differently, And that's the beauty of

973
00:50:04,400 --> 00:50:07,600
Speaker 1: it all is because there's so much evolution that happens

974
00:50:08,239 --> 00:50:10,800
Speaker 1: in your late forties, in your fifties, your early fifties,

975
00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:13,440
Speaker 1: your mid fifties or late fifties, Like it is the

976
00:50:13,440 --> 00:50:17,840
Speaker 1: most enormous growth period, I think in our lives because

977
00:50:17,880 --> 00:50:20,920
Speaker 1: we're here for we're watching it, we understand it, like

978
00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:25,640
Speaker 1: we can appreciate all that's happening. But I think for me,

979
00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:28,560
Speaker 1: when I was at that stage, I had to really

980
00:50:29,480 --> 00:50:32,120
Speaker 1: create a vision for what I wanted in my future.

981
00:50:33,160 --> 00:50:35,480
Speaker 1: Because you know who you are, alist like you, you

982
00:50:35,520 --> 00:50:37,520
Speaker 1: know who you are. It's not about you like who

983
00:50:37,520 --> 00:50:40,319
Speaker 1: am I. You know who you are if you get

984
00:50:40,400 --> 00:50:44,640
Speaker 1: quiet and you sit with yourself and you remember what's

985
00:50:44,680 --> 00:50:48,760
Speaker 1: important to you, you know, and so it's about what's

986
00:50:48,960 --> 00:50:55,040
Speaker 1: next more and creating that sort of vision for what

987
00:50:55,239 --> 00:50:58,080
Speaker 1: you want, what you want your life to look at like,

988
00:50:58,760 --> 00:51:01,839
Speaker 1: and you have to visualize it. You have to Like

989
00:51:02,120 --> 00:51:04,800
Speaker 1: for me, I made you know, a vision board and

990
00:51:04,960 --> 00:51:06,600
Speaker 1: hung it up in my office where I see it

991
00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:09,320
Speaker 1: all the time. Things that are important to me, phrases,

992
00:51:09,719 --> 00:51:12,279
Speaker 1: you know, quotes, things that resonate for me and what

993
00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:17,280
Speaker 1: I want for my future. And just having that visual

994
00:51:17,400 --> 00:51:20,840
Speaker 1: for me helped me to reinforce it on a daily basis.

995
00:51:21,480 --> 00:51:24,680
Speaker 1: And so it just sort of seeps into like what

996
00:51:24,960 --> 00:51:26,839
Speaker 1: you do and how you do it every day because

997
00:51:26,880 --> 00:51:30,399
Speaker 1: you're working towards something. Yes, it feels like when you're

998
00:51:30,440 --> 00:51:33,120
Speaker 1: at that stage, that empty nest or stage, like all

999
00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:36,520
Speaker 1: the good stuff's over and like, oh my gosh, there

1000
00:51:36,600 --> 00:51:39,880
Speaker 1: was all these years spent getting to write here and

1001
00:51:39,920 --> 00:51:44,239
Speaker 1: now right here becomes like your kids their lives, like

1002
00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:46,279
Speaker 1: they fly, and then you're like left.

1003
00:51:46,360 --> 00:51:49,360
Speaker 4: Like that in a nest exactly exactly.

1004
00:51:49,920 --> 00:51:52,440
Speaker 1: But it's not an empty nest. It's the most full

1005
00:51:52,480 --> 00:51:56,080
Speaker 1: nest you've ever had because you have all these tools

1006
00:51:56,160 --> 00:52:01,120
Speaker 1: now and all this confidence in yourself that you know

1007
00:52:01,480 --> 00:52:03,680
Speaker 1: you can get whatever you want life. You just have

1008
00:52:03,760 --> 00:52:04,839
Speaker 1: to really define it.

1009
00:52:06,120 --> 00:52:06,319
Speaker 9: Yeah.

1010
00:52:06,719 --> 00:52:10,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, And that takes time, that takes patience, that takes

1011
00:52:10,719 --> 00:52:15,880
Speaker 1: you know, being realistic and just really defining it I

1012
00:52:15,880 --> 00:52:18,759
Speaker 1: think is really really important. And then reminding yourself of

1013
00:52:18,800 --> 00:52:21,919
Speaker 1: it every day does what I'm focusing on. It does

1014
00:52:22,200 --> 00:52:25,279
Speaker 1: where I'm putting my energy meet up with what it

1015
00:52:25,360 --> 00:52:30,399
Speaker 1: is that I want for my next chapter. And say

1016
00:52:30,440 --> 00:52:34,359
Speaker 1: you want to completely reinvent yourself, do something that you've

1017
00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:38,839
Speaker 1: never done before, put that on your vision board and

1018
00:52:39,080 --> 00:52:41,239
Speaker 1: break it down like how do I what steps do

1019
00:52:41,280 --> 00:52:43,080
Speaker 1: I need to take to get to that?

1020
00:52:43,920 --> 00:52:46,160
Speaker 4: Exactly? Yeah, no, and before.

1021
00:52:45,960 --> 00:52:47,400
Speaker 1: You know what, you'll get there and then you'll be

1022
00:52:47,440 --> 00:52:48,440
Speaker 1: asking yourself the same.

1023
00:52:48,360 --> 00:52:51,320
Speaker 4: Question, what can I do next? What can I do next?

1024
00:52:51,520 --> 00:52:53,840
Speaker 11: It is like you always want to reinvent yourself and

1025
00:52:53,960 --> 00:52:56,319
Speaker 11: think bigger and challenge yourself and grow, like you never

1026
00:52:56,360 --> 00:52:59,080
Speaker 11: want to be stagnant regardless of whatever it is. Right,

1027
00:52:59,440 --> 00:53:02,399
Speaker 11: choose kind, choose grace and all of those things. And

1028
00:53:02,480 --> 00:53:04,279
Speaker 11: I feel like I give that more to people than

1029
00:53:04,280 --> 00:53:06,920
Speaker 11: I give it to myself. And it's like it's it

1030
00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:10,880
Speaker 11: is so it's yeah, yeah, but you're right, like, just

1031
00:53:11,000 --> 00:53:13,680
Speaker 11: see that vision I have in my future. I know

1032
00:53:13,719 --> 00:53:15,719
Speaker 11: who I am as a person. I will always stay

1033
00:53:15,719 --> 00:53:18,000
Speaker 11: true to myself. I've always said I need to be

1034
00:53:18,080 --> 00:53:20,000
Speaker 11: okay with me and need to be able to look

1035
00:53:20,040 --> 00:53:22,520
Speaker 11: at myself in the mirror and be okay with who

1036
00:53:22,560 --> 00:53:25,080
Speaker 11: I see back right, And I'm not saying every day

1037
00:53:25,239 --> 00:53:27,080
Speaker 11: I you know, but I live and learn and I

1038
00:53:27,120 --> 00:53:30,360
Speaker 11: make mistakes. And I've gotten myself into therapy in the

1039
00:53:30,400 --> 00:53:32,839
Speaker 11: last six months, which is you know, a big thing, right,

1040
00:53:32,880 --> 00:53:37,520
Speaker 11: It's huge amazing therapists and she's awesome. We just talk

1041
00:53:37,600 --> 00:53:40,640
Speaker 11: through things of scenarios and how I'm feeling about certain topics,

1042
00:53:40,680 --> 00:53:43,640
Speaker 11: and it is you just like you're so it's as

1043
00:53:43,640 --> 00:53:46,040
Speaker 11: a woman, you're so like have so much pressure of

1044
00:53:46,920 --> 00:53:49,600
Speaker 11: being successful and you know, and who you are and

1045
00:53:49,640 --> 00:53:51,600
Speaker 11: how you're providing for your family and all of these

1046
00:53:51,600 --> 00:53:54,880
Speaker 11: things and who you're contributing and like, yeah, like just

1047
00:53:54,960 --> 00:53:57,560
Speaker 11: all of those things and working out and being social,

1048
00:53:58,640 --> 00:54:02,359
Speaker 11: all all the things, all things we expect.

1049
00:54:02,040 --> 00:54:06,000
Speaker 1: So much from ourselves, yes, when actually we just there's

1050
00:54:06,080 --> 00:54:09,799
Speaker 1: nothing to expect, Like we just wake up and be

1051
00:54:09,960 --> 00:54:13,200
Speaker 1: nice and be positive and listen to others and put

1052
00:54:13,239 --> 00:54:17,640
Speaker 1: other people's feelings first, and everything else will fall into place.

1053
00:54:18,480 --> 00:54:20,879
Speaker 11: Absolutely, No, it makes sense. It makes sense, and it's

1054
00:54:20,920 --> 00:54:23,560
Speaker 11: just it is. It's just like, so thank you for

1055
00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:26,120
Speaker 11: being such an inspiration. And I love to listen to

1056
00:54:26,160 --> 00:54:28,600
Speaker 11: your podcasts and every version and.

1057
00:54:28,520 --> 00:54:31,279
Speaker 4: I love how raw and vulnerable you are and just.

1058
00:54:31,800 --> 00:54:34,600
Speaker 11: Yeah, you're an amazing, amazing you know, just someone to

1059
00:54:34,640 --> 00:54:35,560
Speaker 11: look up to and admire.

1060
00:54:35,719 --> 00:54:37,640
Speaker 4: So yeah, and you've been there too.

1061
00:54:37,880 --> 00:54:40,600
Speaker 1: You're doing it too. You know, you're setting such a

1062
00:54:40,600 --> 00:54:43,920
Speaker 1: beautiful example for your friends, your family, your kids, what

1063
00:54:44,040 --> 00:54:46,319
Speaker 1: you know, anybody that's watching you. Let me ask you this,

1064
00:54:46,400 --> 00:54:48,200
Speaker 1: do you ever look in the mirror and say I

1065
00:54:48,239 --> 00:54:52,320
Speaker 1: love you?

1066
00:54:52,320 --> 00:54:53,760
Speaker 4: No, I haven't in a long time.

1067
00:54:56,360 --> 00:54:59,160
Speaker 1: Oh that was huge for me, Like that's something sounds

1068
00:54:59,200 --> 00:55:03,799
Speaker 1: so corny and silly and also so like why would

1069
00:55:03,840 --> 00:55:07,600
Speaker 1: I do that? Yeah, but if you stop, if you

1070
00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:09,360
Speaker 1: see your reflection in the mirror, and you stop, and

1071
00:55:09,400 --> 00:55:13,719
Speaker 1: you can give yourself a moment five seconds and look

1072
00:55:13,719 --> 00:55:17,680
Speaker 1: into your own eyes and say I love you.

1073
00:55:20,520 --> 00:55:21,080
Speaker 4: Makes sense.

1074
00:55:21,320 --> 00:55:24,120
Speaker 1: There's like this connection that you get with yourself and

1075
00:55:24,680 --> 00:55:28,040
Speaker 1: this acceptance that you get for yourself no matter what.

1076
00:55:28,160 --> 00:55:29,640
Speaker 1: And sometimes you can look in the mirror and say,

1077
00:55:29,640 --> 00:55:31,440
Speaker 1: oh my god, you're such an asshole. Just you were

1078
00:55:31,480 --> 00:55:33,800
Speaker 1: just such an asshole. But you know what, I still

1079
00:55:33,840 --> 00:55:38,960
Speaker 1: love you. Oh my god, you really messed up just

1080
00:55:39,040 --> 00:55:40,680
Speaker 1: two minutes ago out there in the kitchen when you

1081
00:55:40,680 --> 00:55:44,400
Speaker 1: screamed at him. But I still love you. And everything's

1082
00:55:44,440 --> 00:55:45,240
Speaker 1: gonna be okay.

1083
00:55:45,560 --> 00:55:46,920
Speaker 4: That is so perfect.

1084
00:55:47,000 --> 00:55:50,400
Speaker 11: That is everything, absolutely, And I think that's where somewhere

1085
00:55:50,400 --> 00:55:53,359
Speaker 11: along the way I lost myself and I don't know,

1086
00:55:53,440 --> 00:55:55,799
Speaker 11: and I like, I don't know what that looks like,

1087
00:55:55,840 --> 00:55:58,040
Speaker 11: and I don't know if I love myself anymore. So

1088
00:55:58,120 --> 00:56:00,520
Speaker 11: then I feel like, you know, when you just sometimes

1089
00:56:00,560 --> 00:56:02,760
Speaker 11: you feel nun like you're just going through the motions

1090
00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:06,280
Speaker 11: and you're just kind of here, and it's like I

1091
00:56:06,320 --> 00:56:09,319
Speaker 11: can't I don't love myself enough to love someone else

1092
00:56:09,600 --> 00:56:12,319
Speaker 11: and I can't give because I can't receive and I

1093
00:56:12,320 --> 00:56:15,359
Speaker 11: don't feel it right. And I think that's ultimately kind

1094
00:56:15,360 --> 00:56:17,319
Speaker 11: of where I've been at like the last like six

1095
00:56:17,360 --> 00:56:17,920
Speaker 11: months or so.

1096
00:56:18,440 --> 00:56:20,200
Speaker 4: And it like said, and I woke up and I'm like,

1097
00:56:20,239 --> 00:56:21,000
Speaker 4: I'm forty nine.

1098
00:56:21,120 --> 00:56:22,640
Speaker 11: I'm like and all of a sudden, I'm like, I

1099
00:56:22,640 --> 00:56:24,120
Speaker 11: want accomplish this and I want to do this and

1100
00:56:24,120 --> 00:56:25,799
Speaker 11: I want to do and I'm like and I'm like,

1101
00:56:25,800 --> 00:56:27,800
Speaker 11: what am I doing? Like why all of a sudden

1102
00:56:27,800 --> 00:56:29,960
Speaker 11: am I feeling this pressure and like needing to be

1103
00:56:30,040 --> 00:56:33,279
Speaker 11: this person? And it just yeah, and I think I

1104
00:56:33,440 --> 00:56:34,040
Speaker 11: was I'm like.

1105
00:56:34,320 --> 00:56:37,319
Speaker 4: I'm chubby, and I'm like with my clothes fit all

1106
00:56:37,360 --> 00:56:37,959
Speaker 4: of those things.

1107
00:56:38,040 --> 00:56:41,360
Speaker 11: Like I said, we're so hard. Yeah, yeah, and it's

1108
00:56:41,800 --> 00:56:43,320
Speaker 11: it's so hard. It's so hard.

1109
00:56:43,400 --> 00:56:45,239
Speaker 1: But yeah, I want you to do that, Okay. I

1110
00:56:45,280 --> 00:56:49,359
Speaker 1: want you to start practicing that every day every day.

1111
00:56:49,360 --> 00:56:51,440
Speaker 1: If it's the first thing in the morning, last thing

1112
00:56:51,480 --> 00:56:54,720
Speaker 1: at night, if you do it multiple times a day, great,

1113
00:56:55,160 --> 00:56:57,640
Speaker 1: live yourself in the mirror and say I love you,

1114
00:56:58,440 --> 00:57:00,400
Speaker 1: and you can it can be as quick is that,

1115
00:57:00,520 --> 00:57:02,160
Speaker 1: or you can stay with yourself as long as you

1116
00:57:02,200 --> 00:57:04,359
Speaker 1: feel like you need to and it's gonna feel weird,

1117
00:57:04,400 --> 00:57:06,400
Speaker 1: it's going to feel uncomfortable. You're going to want to

1118
00:57:06,440 --> 00:57:08,080
Speaker 1: look away, you're not going to want to do it.

1119
00:57:08,520 --> 00:57:10,239
Speaker 1: But when you look at yourself in the mirror and

1120
00:57:10,280 --> 00:57:12,440
Speaker 1: you love yourself and you say I love you, and

1121
00:57:12,480 --> 00:57:16,640
Speaker 1: you tell yourself, I know this has been hard. I

1122
00:57:16,680 --> 00:57:18,880
Speaker 1: know you're going through hard stuff right now. I know

1123
00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:21,080
Speaker 1: you want a lot of things. I know you feel

1124
00:57:21,080 --> 00:57:24,200
Speaker 1: confused right now. But I've got you and I'm here

1125
00:57:24,280 --> 00:57:28,800
Speaker 1: for you, and everything is going to be okay. You're

1126
00:57:28,840 --> 00:57:32,960
Speaker 1: gonna get goosebumps when you connect with yourself on that level,

1127
00:57:33,400 --> 00:57:35,240
Speaker 1: and then you're going to have like this feeling like,

1128
00:57:35,280 --> 00:57:36,800
Speaker 1: oh my god, I can't wait to get back to

1129
00:57:36,800 --> 00:57:37,920
Speaker 1: the mirror and talk to myself.

1130
00:57:38,560 --> 00:57:38,800
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1131
00:57:39,040 --> 00:57:42,840
Speaker 11: Yeah, yeah, it's so true, right, like to see that

1132
00:57:42,880 --> 00:57:45,000
Speaker 11: person and yeah, and to love myself back.

1133
00:57:45,600 --> 00:57:46,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, and that's really what I need.

1134
00:57:47,640 --> 00:57:50,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love you, Oh my god, I love you.

1135
00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:51,439
Speaker 1: You're doing so good.

1136
00:57:51,840 --> 00:57:54,760
Speaker 4: I love you too. Like I'm serious. If you're ever

1137
00:57:54,800 --> 00:57:55,840
Speaker 4: in Iowa, give me a call.

1138
00:57:55,920 --> 00:57:56,520
Speaker 6: Let's tell you.

1139
00:57:57,000 --> 00:58:00,240
Speaker 4: If you come home to Illinois. I don't know how nice.

1140
00:58:00,080 --> 00:58:02,800
Speaker 1: Sister will not give up her time with me. I'm

1141
00:58:02,800 --> 00:58:03,440
Speaker 1: pretty sure.

1142
00:58:03,280 --> 00:58:04,200
Speaker 4: About that fair.

1143
00:58:04,680 --> 00:58:07,200
Speaker 1: Well, let's wait, wait, what was your last I choose

1144
00:58:07,200 --> 00:58:07,680
Speaker 1: me moment?

1145
00:58:08,200 --> 00:58:10,760
Speaker 4: I am working on that a work in progress. Okay

1146
00:58:11,080 --> 00:58:12,080
Speaker 4: about we maybe check.

1147
00:58:11,960 --> 00:58:14,280
Speaker 11: Back in in six months and see what that when

1148
00:58:14,280 --> 00:58:15,960
Speaker 11: I'm a closer to it it can be.

1149
00:58:16,400 --> 00:58:18,760
Speaker 1: You have to start small. You have to start with

1150
00:58:19,320 --> 00:58:22,600
Speaker 1: little things like you know what, I'm going to choose

1151
00:58:22,840 --> 00:58:25,240
Speaker 1: to put on some lipstick today because it makes me

1152
00:58:25,240 --> 00:58:28,400
Speaker 1: feel better. Or I'm going to choose to go to

1153
00:58:28,440 --> 00:58:30,800
Speaker 1: bed a little bit early today and give myself a

1154
00:58:30,800 --> 00:58:34,080
Speaker 1: little extra sleep. I'm going to you know, it's little things.

1155
00:58:34,160 --> 00:58:38,160
Speaker 1: And every time you do something little for yourself, acknowledge it.

1156
00:58:38,240 --> 00:58:41,000
Speaker 1: Say hey, look look at me. I'm choosing myself right now.

1157
00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:42,040
Speaker 1: And it feels good.

1158
00:58:42,840 --> 00:58:45,160
Speaker 11: Absolutely, And I feel like if you do choose yourself,

1159
00:58:45,200 --> 00:58:48,760
Speaker 11: then that puts yourself and you choose you, and that

1160
00:58:48,840 --> 00:58:51,320
Speaker 11: makes everyone else better because then it just as a

1161
00:58:51,400 --> 00:58:54,520
Speaker 11: natural progression that it comes after, right, and then you

1162
00:58:54,520 --> 00:58:56,040
Speaker 11: can be there for the ones that you love. But

1163
00:58:56,080 --> 00:58:57,959
Speaker 11: if you don't take care of yourself, then you can't

1164
00:58:57,960 --> 00:58:59,200
Speaker 11: be there for the ones that you love.

1165
00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:05,040
Speaker 1: It's very true words of wisdom. Thank you, no, thank you,

1166
00:59:05,120 --> 00:59:05,440
Speaker 1: thank you.

1167
00:59:05,520 --> 00:59:06,280
Speaker 4: I appreciate it.

1168
00:59:06,320 --> 00:59:09,200
Speaker 11: This has been awesome, such an amazing experience, and I

1169
00:59:09,240 --> 00:59:11,680
Speaker 11: can't thank you enough. And I look forward to continue

1170
00:59:11,720 --> 00:59:14,760
Speaker 11: watching you foster and grow and yes do all the

1171
00:59:14,800 --> 00:59:15,960
Speaker 11: amazing things that you're.

1172
00:59:15,760 --> 00:59:20,240
Speaker 1: Doing you too. Yeah, thank you, thank you, take care,

1173
00:59:20,680 --> 00:59:21,560
Speaker 1: have a great day.

1174
00:59:21,800 --> 00:59:22,920
Speaker 4: Yes you too, Thank you.

1175
00:59:23,520 --> 00:59:26,120
Speaker 7: Bye bye.

1176
00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:31,400
Speaker 1: Hi Marcia, Hi, how are you? I'm so good. So

1177
00:59:31,520 --> 00:59:32,360
Speaker 1: nice to meet you.

1178
00:59:32,840 --> 00:59:33,720
Speaker 9: Nice to meet you too.

1179
00:59:34,200 --> 00:59:37,800
Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to the pod. Yeah, tell me

1180
00:59:37,920 --> 00:59:40,600
Speaker 1: what do you want to talk about today? How can

1181
00:59:40,640 --> 00:59:41,240
Speaker 1: I help you?

1182
00:59:42,600 --> 00:59:44,400
Speaker 5: I was just wondering, you know, because my mom has

1183
00:59:44,440 --> 00:59:46,520
Speaker 5: Alzheimer's and I'm her caregiver.

1184
00:59:47,120 --> 00:59:49,600
Speaker 9: How I could make Ie me moments for myself.

1185
00:59:50,680 --> 00:59:54,280
Speaker 1: That's a very You are in a in quite a position,

1186
00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:58,960
Speaker 1: you know, giving so much to someone who needs so much.

1187
00:59:59,200 --> 01:00:02,720
Speaker 1: I can relate. I have, you know, taken care of

1188
01:00:02,760 --> 01:00:04,960
Speaker 1: my parents at different points in my life too, and

1189
01:00:05,560 --> 01:00:10,880
Speaker 1: it's a lot. Yeah, it's really challenging. You have to

1190
01:00:10,880 --> 01:00:14,960
Speaker 1: have so much patience and so much peace inside of

1191
01:00:15,000 --> 01:00:17,320
Speaker 1: you in order to be able to take some care

1192
01:00:17,360 --> 01:00:21,000
Speaker 1: of somebody like that on that level. Yeah, I think

1193
01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:23,240
Speaker 1: you need to need to start, I know, because it

1194
01:00:23,440 --> 01:00:25,320
Speaker 1: probably takes up a lot of your day, a lot

1195
01:00:25,320 --> 01:00:28,840
Speaker 1: of your time. Thinking of how you can better take

1196
01:00:28,840 --> 01:00:30,760
Speaker 1: care of somebody, How can you can prep how you

1197
01:00:30,760 --> 01:00:34,600
Speaker 1: can meet their needs? You just need to take carve

1198
01:00:34,640 --> 01:00:38,040
Speaker 1: out those how can I take care of myself when

1199
01:00:38,080 --> 01:00:42,120
Speaker 1: I Because it is true, they say, with the oxygen

1200
01:00:42,120 --> 01:00:45,280
Speaker 1: mask on yourself before putting the oxygen mask on others.

1201
01:00:45,320 --> 01:00:47,960
Speaker 1: When you're on the plane, you know, you have to

1202
01:00:48,200 --> 01:00:50,720
Speaker 1: remember how important it is to take care of yourself,

1203
01:00:50,760 --> 01:00:55,480
Speaker 1: even just a little bit. The littlest things can help you. Know,

1204
01:00:55,560 --> 01:01:00,000
Speaker 1: it's really important to eat well. Yeah, if we eat

1205
01:01:00,480 --> 01:01:04,440
Speaker 1: just junk and filler food, food that's not helping us

1206
01:01:04,560 --> 01:01:06,680
Speaker 1: or benefiting us in any way, that's going to catch

1207
01:01:06,760 --> 01:01:08,960
Speaker 1: up to you, and you're not gonna feel good and

1208
01:01:08,960 --> 01:01:10,880
Speaker 1: then you're not going to be in a good mood.

1209
01:01:11,000 --> 01:01:12,520
Speaker 1: You're not gonna be in good spirits, and you're not

1210
01:01:12,560 --> 01:01:13,880
Speaker 1: gonna be able to take care of somebody.

1211
01:01:14,800 --> 01:01:15,040
Speaker 9: Right.

1212
01:01:15,480 --> 01:01:18,440
Speaker 1: If you're getting make sure you're getting enough sleep, Like

1213
01:01:18,880 --> 01:01:22,360
Speaker 1: look at your schedule and decide, like how many hours

1214
01:01:22,400 --> 01:01:25,880
Speaker 1: am I sleeping a night? Right, and ask yourself, is

1215
01:01:26,080 --> 01:01:28,080
Speaker 1: do I feel refreshed when I wake up? If not,

1216
01:01:28,640 --> 01:01:30,760
Speaker 1: maybe I'm not getting enough sleep. Maybe I'm getting too

1217
01:01:30,840 --> 01:01:33,080
Speaker 1: much sleep. You really need to sort of look at

1218
01:01:33,120 --> 01:01:36,040
Speaker 1: it and define how much sleep you personally need. For me,

1219
01:01:36,400 --> 01:01:38,440
Speaker 1: I have to have six hours of sleep. If I

1220
01:01:38,480 --> 01:01:41,400
Speaker 1: get more than eight hours, it's like a reverse effect.

1221
01:01:41,440 --> 01:01:45,120
Speaker 1: I'm cranky and puffy and I don't feel good and

1222
01:01:45,280 --> 01:01:48,360
Speaker 1: I am like ugh. But if I get like six

1223
01:01:48,480 --> 01:01:52,280
Speaker 1: or seven hours, that's my golden ticket right there. So

1224
01:01:52,320 --> 01:01:55,080
Speaker 1: it's just, you know, as much focused as you put

1225
01:01:55,160 --> 01:01:58,600
Speaker 1: on taking care of someone else, you have to turn

1226
01:01:58,640 --> 01:02:01,280
Speaker 1: it back and start taking care of yourself little by

1227
01:02:01,320 --> 01:02:04,800
Speaker 1: a little, even if it doesn't feel right or it

1228
01:02:04,840 --> 01:02:08,360
Speaker 1: feels selfish. You got a car about that time, Like,

1229
01:02:08,440 --> 01:02:11,000
Speaker 1: what is it that you do in your life that

1230
01:02:11,800 --> 01:02:13,560
Speaker 1: where you are taking care of yourself? What do you

1231
01:02:13,640 --> 01:02:14,439
Speaker 1: do for self care?

1232
01:02:16,240 --> 01:02:19,160
Speaker 5: So usually during the day, because I have two computers,

1233
01:02:19,240 --> 01:02:20,640
Speaker 5: so I have one down here and then one in

1234
01:02:20,680 --> 01:02:25,840
Speaker 5: my room, and so I usually like game a lot during.

1235
01:02:25,640 --> 01:02:26,680
Speaker 9: The days and stuff.

1236
01:02:26,800 --> 01:02:30,720
Speaker 5: And then like we just recently had to have my

1237
01:02:30,760 --> 01:02:32,800
Speaker 5: brother in law bring her bed downstairs to put in

1238
01:02:32,800 --> 01:02:35,200
Speaker 5: the back room because I didn't want her to do

1239
01:02:35,240 --> 01:02:37,160
Speaker 5: the steps anymore because she was starting to fall a lot,

1240
01:02:37,200 --> 01:02:39,400
Speaker 5: and I was like worried about her falling down the steps,

1241
01:02:40,400 --> 01:02:42,080
Speaker 5: and I was worried about how that was going to go,

1242
01:02:42,160 --> 01:02:44,240
Speaker 5: because my routine with her would be to take her up,

1243
01:02:44,680 --> 01:02:46,360
Speaker 5: put her in bed, and then just go in my

1244
01:02:46,440 --> 01:02:50,600
Speaker 5: room and chill out midnight like until the morning. So

1245
01:02:51,040 --> 01:02:53,080
Speaker 5: now the routine is I still put her to bed

1246
01:02:53,120 --> 01:02:54,600
Speaker 5: at the same time, but we would do it down

1247
01:02:54,600 --> 01:02:57,600
Speaker 5: here and then I go up in my room for

1248
01:02:57,600 --> 01:02:58,800
Speaker 5: a little bit and then I come back down and

1249
01:02:58,800 --> 01:03:00,520
Speaker 5: sleep on the couch because I don't hard to be

1250
01:03:00,760 --> 01:03:04,640
Speaker 5: alone down here. So like that's really and you know,

1251
01:03:04,720 --> 01:03:08,720
Speaker 5: I have like little trips that I take sometimes my sister.

1252
01:03:08,840 --> 01:03:11,920
Speaker 1: Will you get help with others?

1253
01:03:12,480 --> 01:03:16,479
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's it's me and my sister, with the help

1254
01:03:16,520 --> 01:03:21,880
Speaker 5: of our our aunts, my mom's sisters. But it's mostly

1255
01:03:21,920 --> 01:03:26,160
Speaker 5: me and my sister because my dad passed away twelve

1256
01:03:26,240 --> 01:03:29,520
Speaker 5: years ago, so it's only my sister and I.

1257
01:03:29,640 --> 01:03:32,800
Speaker 9: So my sister's yeah, so my.

1258
01:03:32,680 --> 01:03:34,920
Speaker 1: Sister does on your shoulders, the.

1259
01:03:34,880 --> 01:03:37,000
Speaker 9: Grocery running and stuff like that for me.

1260
01:03:37,880 --> 01:03:40,680
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, that's really important that you have. I'm so

1261
01:03:40,880 --> 01:03:42,680
Speaker 1: happy for you that you have a sister, that you

1262
01:03:42,720 --> 01:03:46,320
Speaker 1: have those aunts that you can if you need a break,

1263
01:03:46,440 --> 01:03:51,040
Speaker 1: you gotta take it. Yeah, you know, and you know

1264
01:03:51,160 --> 01:03:54,320
Speaker 1: I know that you love gaming and that's super. That's great.

1265
01:03:54,960 --> 01:03:58,240
Speaker 1: But what you know, what does like going outside for you?

1266
01:03:59,200 --> 01:04:00,960
Speaker 1: Does that feel good at all? Like when you go

1267
01:04:01,000 --> 01:04:02,160
Speaker 1: out in nature when you.

1268
01:04:02,240 --> 01:04:07,760
Speaker 5: Like yeah time, yeah, I when it's what I can

1269
01:04:08,400 --> 01:04:11,440
Speaker 5: I uh, I'll take my sister's kids and we'll go

1270
01:04:11,480 --> 01:04:13,480
Speaker 5: outside and play or some clinical for a walk.

1271
01:04:14,680 --> 01:04:16,960
Speaker 9: It's getting colder here now, so that's harder to do.

1272
01:04:17,920 --> 01:04:19,080
Speaker 1: You're in Pennsylvania.

1273
01:04:19,280 --> 01:04:22,160
Speaker 9: Yeah, so and we're getting a snowstorm this like tonight.

1274
01:04:22,480 --> 01:04:23,400
Speaker 6: So I was just.

1275
01:04:23,480 --> 01:04:28,120
Speaker 1: There, Martin, I was just there. Yeah, and it was

1276
01:04:28,320 --> 01:04:29,160
Speaker 1: beautiful weather.

1277
01:04:29,800 --> 01:04:30,040
Speaker 5: I know.

1278
01:04:30,280 --> 01:04:34,960
Speaker 9: It's bipolar. I mean you.

1279
01:04:36,680 --> 01:04:39,520
Speaker 1: It's just about carving out those little moments and then

1280
01:04:39,760 --> 01:04:46,080
Speaker 1: remembering that that's not selfish. That is vital to your

1281
01:04:46,160 --> 01:04:49,080
Speaker 1: health and you being able to take care of your mom.

1282
01:04:49,880 --> 01:04:52,400
Speaker 5: Right, Yeah, I have a my sister and I are

1283
01:04:52,440 --> 01:04:56,520
Speaker 5: going to Seattle to see my best friend Monday's like

1284
01:04:56,640 --> 01:04:57,560
Speaker 5: in like two weeks.

1285
01:04:57,920 --> 01:05:00,640
Speaker 9: And she actually knew your daughter, by the way, my best.

1286
01:05:00,440 --> 01:05:02,320
Speaker 1: Friend it oh cool.

1287
01:05:02,760 --> 01:05:05,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, so yeah, we're going to do that and then

1288
01:05:05,040 --> 01:05:07,000
Speaker 5: my aunts are going to keep her keep my mom.

1289
01:05:07,080 --> 01:05:11,600
Speaker 5: And then we just went to the Heiress tour on Friday. Hey,

1290
01:05:12,320 --> 01:05:16,600
Speaker 5: so my we went with her one sister and then

1291
01:05:16,640 --> 01:05:19,480
Speaker 5: the other sister kept my mom, so we all three

1292
01:05:19,520 --> 01:05:20,240
Speaker 5: went and had fun.

1293
01:05:20,400 --> 01:05:22,919
Speaker 1: Amazing. How much fun did you have at that show?

1294
01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:23,919
Speaker 9: It was so much fun.

1295
01:05:23,960 --> 01:05:28,000
Speaker 1: It was so much fun. Oh it was like I'm

1296
01:05:28,080 --> 01:05:31,240
Speaker 1: a girl and I'm free. Yeah, so much fun.

1297
01:05:31,760 --> 01:05:32,120
Speaker 9: So good.

1298
01:05:32,160 --> 01:05:34,440
Speaker 1: I feel like you're taking pretty good care of yourself.

1299
01:05:34,480 --> 01:05:38,560
Speaker 1: I feel like you have a good grasp on doing

1300
01:05:38,880 --> 01:05:41,920
Speaker 1: little things here and there for yourself and trying to

1301
01:05:42,000 --> 01:05:45,200
Speaker 1: keep your balance right. Yeah, you just need to make

1302
01:05:45,560 --> 01:05:48,000
Speaker 1: you know, make it a priority and make sure every

1303
01:05:48,080 --> 01:05:50,120
Speaker 1: day that you're checking off that box of taking care

1304
01:05:50,160 --> 01:05:50,960
Speaker 1: of yourself.

1305
01:05:52,080 --> 01:05:52,280
Speaker 9: Right.

1306
01:05:53,760 --> 01:05:54,520
Speaker 1: I'm proud of you.

1307
01:05:54,640 --> 01:05:56,920
Speaker 9: I think you Thank you, thank you.

1308
01:05:56,960 --> 01:06:00,720
Speaker 1: Okay, So, aside from going to the Aras tour, aside

1309
01:06:00,800 --> 01:06:03,280
Speaker 1: from going to visit your best friend, what do you think,

1310
01:06:03,320 --> 01:06:05,440
Speaker 1: even if it's something little, what would you say your

1311
01:06:05,480 --> 01:06:07,040
Speaker 1: last I choose me moment.

1312
01:06:06,960 --> 01:06:12,400
Speaker 5: Was probably going over and visiting my cousin, just being

1313
01:06:12,480 --> 01:06:15,680
Speaker 5: by myself because she has a daughter that's my niece's age.

1314
01:06:15,720 --> 01:06:17,880
Speaker 5: So my niece likes to come with me when I go,

1315
01:06:17,920 --> 01:06:21,280
Speaker 5: but I left her here, so I went and just

1316
01:06:21,360 --> 01:06:22,840
Speaker 5: on out on my cousin for a little bit.

1317
01:06:23,160 --> 01:06:25,080
Speaker 9: You have, I would say that was probably it.

1318
01:06:25,400 --> 01:06:28,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love it. That's good. I'm proud of you.

1319
01:06:28,480 --> 01:06:29,080
Speaker 1: You're doing great.

1320
01:06:29,840 --> 01:06:30,200
Speaker 9: Thank you.

1321
01:06:30,520 --> 01:06:33,040
Speaker 1: And you're an amazing person for taking care of your mom.

1322
01:06:33,320 --> 01:06:33,760
Speaker 9: Thank you.

1323
01:06:34,120 --> 01:06:37,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's rough, I know, I know it's hard. I

1324
01:06:37,400 --> 01:06:40,840
Speaker 1: know it's hard. I know, but that's what we do.

1325
01:06:42,520 --> 01:06:43,880
Speaker 1: We do hard things sometimes.

1326
01:06:44,320 --> 01:06:45,040
Speaker 9: Yeah, for sure.

1327
01:06:46,320 --> 01:06:49,720
Speaker 1: Well I'm with you. I'm here supporting you from AFAR.

1328
01:06:50,360 --> 01:06:50,840
Speaker 9: Thank you.

1329
01:06:54,480 --> 01:06:57,840
Speaker 1: Okay, that was so great getting to connect with and

1330
01:06:57,960 --> 01:07:02,120
Speaker 1: talk with some of you listeners. Seriously cannot say enough

1331
01:07:02,160 --> 01:07:04,560
Speaker 1: about how much you guys mean to me and I

1332
01:07:04,640 --> 01:07:07,520
Speaker 1: love hearing from you. It really touches me and it

1333
01:07:07,560 --> 01:07:10,720
Speaker 1: makes me feel really good and connected, and that's what

1334
01:07:10,760 --> 01:07:13,280
Speaker 1: it's all about. And I hope to see you come

1335
01:07:13,280 --> 01:07:15,840
Speaker 1: out to my I Choose Me Live event we're having

1336
01:07:15,880 --> 01:07:19,640
Speaker 1: on Saturday, January eleventh. If you are able to, I

1337
01:07:19,680 --> 01:07:22,439
Speaker 1: hope you are able to grab your tickets. I really

1338
01:07:22,520 --> 01:07:25,400
Speaker 1: cannot wait to see you all in person and share

1339
01:07:25,480 --> 01:07:27,680
Speaker 1: all the exciting things we have in store for the

1340
01:07:27,720 --> 01:07:30,520
Speaker 1: best day ever. We're going to make some memories together

1341
01:07:30,520 --> 01:07:33,080
Speaker 1: and we're going to learn a lot about ourselves and

1342
01:07:33,200 --> 01:07:35,720
Speaker 1: about each other, and it's going to be super cool.

1343
01:07:35,760 --> 01:07:38,720
Speaker 1: So get your tickets and I'll see you there January eleventh.

1344
01:07:38,960 --> 01:07:41,760
Speaker 1: As we continue to choose ourselves each week, I want

1345
01:07:41,800 --> 01:07:45,800
Speaker 1: to remind you about something so simple. It's a choice

1346
01:07:45,800 --> 01:07:47,960
Speaker 1: that we can make that a lot of us forget

1347
01:07:48,080 --> 01:07:52,440
Speaker 1: to do all day long, and that is to drink water. Okay,

1348
01:07:52,480 --> 01:07:56,160
Speaker 1: I know, very simple, but seriously, when was the last

1349
01:07:56,160 --> 01:07:59,200
Speaker 1: time you had some water? Right now? Go fill up

1350
01:07:59,280 --> 01:08:02,120
Speaker 1: a big glass or fill up your jug. I don't

1351
01:08:02,120 --> 01:08:04,680
Speaker 1: know about you. I have a water bottle that goes

1352
01:08:04,760 --> 01:08:07,760
Speaker 1: everywhere I go. I call it my emotional support water

1353
01:08:07,800 --> 01:08:12,080
Speaker 1: bottle because if I leave the house without it, I'm

1354
01:08:12,080 --> 01:08:14,760
Speaker 1: seriously like, oh no, where's my water bottle? What if

1355
01:08:14,760 --> 01:08:17,160
Speaker 1: I get thirsty on the way to the store. I

1356
01:08:17,240 --> 01:08:19,320
Speaker 1: have to have it wherever I go. So this is

1357
01:08:19,320 --> 01:08:23,840
Speaker 1: your reminder to not forget to hydrate your body, and

1358
01:08:23,920 --> 01:08:26,920
Speaker 1: I challenge you this week to keep hydration as a focus.

1359
01:08:27,200 --> 01:08:31,759
Speaker 1: We all tend to let go, you know, eat whatever.

1360
01:08:31,920 --> 01:08:35,120
Speaker 1: Our routines kind of fall apart with the food and

1361
01:08:35,160 --> 01:08:39,000
Speaker 1: the sweets and the drinks and the schedules. But don't

1362
01:08:39,000 --> 01:08:42,599
Speaker 1: forget drink some water. That's all I have to say

1363
01:08:42,600 --> 01:08:45,920
Speaker 1: about that. Thanks for listening to ichoose me. You can

1364
01:08:46,000 --> 01:08:48,920
Speaker 1: check out all of our social links in our show notes,

1365
01:08:49,720 --> 01:08:53,240
Speaker 1: have you left a review of the podcast, because if

1366
01:08:53,320 --> 01:08:56,599
Speaker 1: you haven't, I want to hear what you think. I

1367
01:08:56,640 --> 01:08:59,840
Speaker 1: love your communication, I love your support, and I love

1368
01:08:59,840 --> 01:09:02,960
Speaker 1: your critiques. I am here for it. I want to learn.

1369
01:09:03,520 --> 01:09:05,920
Speaker 1: It's so easy, and I love getting to hear from you.

1370
01:09:06,479 --> 01:09:09,000
Speaker 1: So make sure to use the hashtag I Choose me,

1371
01:09:09,240 --> 01:09:12,000
Speaker 1: and I'll be right here next week. I hope you

1372
01:09:12,080 --> 01:09:13,080
Speaker 1: choose to be here too,