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Speaker 1: Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for

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Speaker 1: you himotes strong baby letters subject my husband is not

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Speaker 1: handling his business. Hi Stephen Shirley, I really need your advice.

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Speaker 1: I'm a thirty two year old woman and my husband

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Speaker 1: is thirty seven. When we first got married, our sex

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Speaker 1: life was amazing. About three years into our marriage, intimacy

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Speaker 1: became an issue. My husband started making excuses for not

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Speaker 1: wanting to do it. He never wanted to have sex anymore.

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Speaker 1: When we did do it, he would just lie there

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Speaker 1: like he forgot what to do. So I came out

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Speaker 1: of my comfort zone to try to get him excited.

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Speaker 1: I would turn on porn, talk dirty to him, go

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Speaker 1: to bed naked, get my hair done regularly, and even

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Speaker 1: dress sexy. Nothing worked. After a while, I started to

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Speaker 1: feel unattractive and unwanted. I questioned his commitment to me

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Speaker 1: and our relationship, and he swore to me that he

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Speaker 1: still loved me and that he didn't think we had

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Speaker 1: problem with our sex life. I suspected that he was cheating,

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Speaker 1: and I snooped through his things, but I never found anything.

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Speaker 1: So I started planning to have an affair with a

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Speaker 1: guy that I worked with. I started staying out and

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Speaker 1: entertaining this man at his house. But that didn't work

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Speaker 1: out for me, so I ended that fling. My husband

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Speaker 1: could feel that something wasn't right, so when I stopped

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Speaker 1: coming in late, he changed. He was all over me

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Speaker 1: and we were having lots of sex and everything was great.

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Speaker 1: Then about seven months ago, we fell into another dry spell.

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Speaker 1: I can't take this anymore. I'm only thirty two years

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Speaker 1: old and my husband is not handling his business in

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Speaker 1: the bedroom. I'm screaming on the inside. What's a woman

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Speaker 1: to do? Please help? Well, it sounds like you've done

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Speaker 1: pretty much everything you know to get it going on

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Speaker 1: in your marriage and in the bedroom, But really I

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Speaker 1: got nothing here. Either, he's no longer attracted to you

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Speaker 1: in that way about it, I'm here, Yeah, I know

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Speaker 1: you are darling. Okay. Either he's no longer attracted to you,

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Speaker 1: like I said, he's no longer interested in being married

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Speaker 1: or being married to you, or he has some sort

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Speaker 1: of medical or mental issue going on, or maybe he's

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Speaker 1: bisexual or gay, or maybe he's just playing lazy, or

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Speaker 1: maybe I don't know, maybe he's just not into you anymore,

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Speaker 1: like the book in the movie said. Yeah, I got nothing. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's it. That's what I ded. No, I'm interned him. Gay,

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Speaker 1: I'm just throwing it out there. You never know, he's

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Speaker 1: not he's not interested. Go ahead, Steve, all right, here's

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Speaker 1: a deal. Classroom is in session, man, have you undivided attention? Yes, sir, Hey,

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Speaker 1: don't just poop poo my answer like that, you poopooed it.

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Speaker 1: I'm talking to Steve now the way you said it,

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Speaker 1: I took offense to that. And that's okay, isn't it?

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Speaker 1: Helloas I just said, classes in session, manbody poo dismiss it? Okay,

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Speaker 1: it was good stuff in there. Say it wasn't. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I can tell she didn't feel comfortable. Way to go here.

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Speaker 1: I'm good. I'm good. Tell me quit being an instat at.

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Speaker 1: My husband is not handling his business. She thirty two,

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Speaker 1: he thirty seven. They first got married, they was having

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Speaker 1: sex all the time, everywhere. About three years into the marriage,

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Speaker 1: intimacy became an issue. My husband started making excuses for

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Speaker 1: not wanting to do it. He never wanted to have

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Speaker 1: sex anymore. And when we do do it, he would

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Speaker 1: just lie there like he forgot what to do. Now, look,

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Speaker 1: let's just get to this letter, because I already know

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Speaker 1: it's one of three things and that's all it is.

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Speaker 1: But since you want to go down the letter, no, no,

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Speaker 1: let me. I'll tell you what I'm gonna go out

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Speaker 1: of order. Here is the one of two things that's wrong,

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Speaker 1: But there is also a third thing. I'm gonna say

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Speaker 1: that for last. That could be number one a financial issue.

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Speaker 1: How is your man doing in terms of where he

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Speaker 1: wants to be in life? Is he where he wants

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Speaker 1: to be? Does he feel like he could do more?

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Speaker 1: Is he behind the eight ball? Is he playing catch up?

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Speaker 1: Because when we are not financially secure and we an't

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Speaker 1: got our money together, and why are we gonna make

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Speaker 1: it to take care of everybody? It throws us into something.

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Speaker 1: Women have a biological clock that ticks me, and have

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Speaker 1: a financial clock that text his financial clock alarm could

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Speaker 1: have gone off. That's one reason it could be purely financial.

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Speaker 1: Then bills, the burden of having to take care of everybody.

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Speaker 1: How much he making, how much you get to keep?

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Speaker 1: Can he go play golf? Can he buy a pass? Shoes?

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Speaker 1: Did you have everything you want? What is it? What

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Speaker 1: is it? What is it? It could be financial? Second

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Speaker 1: reason it could be a physical problem. Impetucy in men

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Speaker 1: is a big thing. All you gotta do is watch TV.

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Speaker 1: They got a commercial on every five minutes. GNC got testosterone,

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Speaker 1: got big Frank Thomas in there. Tomaw, I take the testosterone.

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Speaker 1: Tell I'm back. I should wish my husband take well,

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Speaker 1: get him some. Then they got the viagralar commercial. Dude.

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Speaker 1: Then they got a one hundred milligram pack just stuck

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Speaker 1: in his luggage where you ain't got a catahole bottle.

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Speaker 1: And they got this luggage open. Why he got this

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Speaker 1: pack of viagral laying out and the opening in this

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Speaker 1: damn luggage and somebody could take your piel. Now you're

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Speaker 1: weak in this shot. See Allan's got them two people

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Speaker 1: hold their hands in the bathtub, where as you at

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Speaker 1: where you got two separate bathtubs sitting next to each

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Speaker 1: other on a mountain. Nice commercial, ain't true? See alis

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Speaker 1: viagral testosteronus alpha male extends. Ye. Now, that could be

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Speaker 1: his problem, But I think the problem is deeper than that.

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Speaker 1: When we come back, I'm gonna tell you the third

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Speaker 1: reason that you might have to look into. Let's go

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Speaker 1: with part two of your response to today's Strawberry letter.

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Speaker 1: My husband is not handling his business. Well he ain't

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Speaker 1: he ain't you thirty two thirty y'all's first start having sex.

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Speaker 1: It was amazing. Now three years in, y'all hit something

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Speaker 1: wrong and you don't know what it is. Then when

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Speaker 1: you do have sex with him, he laying there like

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Speaker 1: he didn't forgot what to do, lack of interest. Something

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Speaker 1: is on his mind. One of two things I told you,

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Speaker 1: But it's a third thing too, and it's in your letter.

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Speaker 1: I just want to point it out. It could be financial.

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Speaker 1: The man ain't where he wanted to be. When we

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Speaker 1: got financial woes and wear his owners man, it changes us.

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Speaker 1: Sexual appetite diminishes a bit because we're trying to figure

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Speaker 1: out how to get this thing together. It could be financial.

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Speaker 1: Financial clock is ticket second reason. Here's the other reason.

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Speaker 1: It could be a physical problem. You see the commercials

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Speaker 1: on TV five Viagra got new package. You can buy

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Speaker 1: one hundred milligrams the weekend package. Put one in your luggage.

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Speaker 1: But now he got it right up under the fishnet

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Speaker 1: on his luggage so the TSA man can see it unzipped,

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Speaker 1: act like he's searching. Now he got his viagra now

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Speaker 1: your whole weekend shot. See Alys has got commercials everything.

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Speaker 1: There's an alarming note on one of the commercials. Just

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Speaker 1: just a side note. You have an erection lasted more

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Speaker 1: than four hours, call your doctor? Why would I do that?

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Speaker 1: Why would I call anybody that's had a long time

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Speaker 1: four hours? I'm not calling nobody. What are you doing?

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Speaker 1: I'm taking time coded selfies. I'm gonna record this from

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Speaker 1: every angle that's one hour. Steal him an hour. You

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Speaker 1: get an hour, you boy that you're doing something two hours.

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Speaker 1: I got to send this to somebody too much. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So there we have it. Now here's the third reason,

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Speaker 1: young lady, that you might have to look at. And

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Speaker 1: I discovered it in your in your letter, you said

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Speaker 1: when when we do do it, he would just lie

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Speaker 1: to and act like he forgot Ah, here we go,

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Speaker 1: So I got. I came out of my comfort zone

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Speaker 1: to try to get him excited. So now you to

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Speaker 1: come out your comfort zone to get him excited. I

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Speaker 1: would turn turn on pawn talk derty to him, go

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Speaker 1: to bed naked, get my hair done regularly, and even

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Speaker 1: dress sexy. Nothing work, oh jase, So let's pump the brake.

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Speaker 1: So until you before all this was happening, what were

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Speaker 1: you doing? Wasn't no talking dirty? You ain't never go

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Speaker 1: to bed naked? What was your hair looking like? For

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Speaker 1: you started getting it done regularly and you even started

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Speaker 1: dressing sexy. So when you were Jane half away voted

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Speaker 1: started No, I'm asking. I'm not making about her, but

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Speaker 1: I want her to see. Could he have become bored

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Speaker 1: because you stop caring for yourself. I'm just asking. I

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Speaker 1: don't know that. I'm just giving you the three things

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Speaker 1: to financial reason his physical medical problem? Or is it

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Speaker 1: you something you've done? Then after a while, I started

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Speaker 1: feeling unattracted, so you're gonna take your little fast tail

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Speaker 1: down here, and started having a fan with this man

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Speaker 1: down at the job. And then, as you so eloquently

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Speaker 1: put it, I started staying out and entertaining this man

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Speaker 1: at his house. Oh you entertaining? Now? Oh well, so

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Speaker 1: what did you doing now? Oh you thirty two? Now

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Speaker 1: you're entertaining? What? He got a pole in the house? What? What? What?

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Speaker 1: What's happening? What you what you're doing at his house?

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Speaker 1: That's so damned entertaining. See you didn't want to write

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Speaker 1: it in your ladder, but you started having sex with

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Speaker 1: this man. That's what you did. So that didn't work

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Speaker 1: out for me, so I ended the fleeing. My husband

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Speaker 1: could feel that something wasn't right, so when I stopped

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Speaker 1: coming in late, he changed. He was all over me

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Speaker 1: because he missed you. See, you were at the other

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Speaker 1: man's house doing all entertaining. He missed you, so he

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Speaker 1: had a chance to miss you. Maybe y'all need to

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Speaker 1: have some date nights and create the miss you part

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Speaker 1: of it. Then you need to come in here and

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Speaker 1: do all this entertaining you was doing cross town. Hello, Hello,

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Speaker 1: maybe you need to come out your comfort zone. I

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Speaker 1: don't know what it is. I can't tell you what

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Speaker 1: it is, but it's one of them three things. It's

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Speaker 1: either a financial problem he having, he got a physical

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Speaker 1: problem and he need to look at somebody commercials get

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Speaker 1: down there to see a damn doctor. Or it's you.

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Speaker 1: What is you weighing over there? Why are you entertaining? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: bring all the monkey costumes to the house. Circus out fish.

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Speaker 1: We ain't seen none of that, yo. You're a French

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Speaker 1: nurse over that. You got feather dust whips high here,

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Speaker 1: shoot paddle leather boots. You got panties with openings on them.

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Speaker 1: What e's all listen my hut. Then about seven months ago,

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Speaker 1: we fell into another dry spell. I can't take this anymore.

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Speaker 1: I'm only thirty two. My husband's not helding his business

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Speaker 1: in the bedroom. I'm screaming on the inside. What's a

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Speaker 1: woman to do? Please help me. I don't know what

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Speaker 1: y'all do when y'all scream on the inside. I know

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Speaker 1: what we do when we scream on the inside. What

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Speaker 1: we started Holland on? Now? In side? So do we

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Speaker 1: we started some holland somewhere? Okay, yeah, kind of let

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Speaker 1: them know, man, Okay, well update them. Uh huh, that's

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Speaker 1: a great bit of information. Yeah, glad, glad you here.

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Speaker 1: M Well, you're saying it could be some sort of

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Speaker 1: metal medical or mental issue as well. I agree with that.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. You have to clean us up with me.

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Speaker 1: If we're just conversing, we're not. We're conversing because you

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Speaker 1: think I said something about your No, that's not it.

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Speaker 1: I thought we're just having because we have because we

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Speaker 1: have time. We have time. That's all. Because of time.

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Speaker 1: You can bring it up and and it's my letter.

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Speaker 1: I didn't say we can't go back call it. But

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Speaker 1: I'm that's no. But seriously, there there is a problem here.

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Speaker 1: We just don't know what it is. Oh, I know

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Speaker 1: what it is. What what do you think it is? No,

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Speaker 1: I'm not. We can't talk about it. No, we can't.

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Speaker 1: It's huh. I'll see right there. You want to blame

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Speaker 1: the woman. See, yeah, I think one of them is

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Speaker 1: she didn't went over there and had their fast. She

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Speaker 1: went through the man's phone, found nothing. She wouldn't have

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Speaker 1: had their fast. Now you want us to be cool

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Speaker 1: with this? This half a wrong? All right, Steve, we

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Speaker 1: gotta get out of here. This is a good letter.

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Speaker 1: You can email us or instagram us your thoughts on

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Speaker 1: today's Strawberry Letter at my Girls, Shirley. All right, you're

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Speaker 1: listening to show