WEBVTT - Episode 366 w/ Bert Kreischer 0:00:11.720 --> 0:00:15.800 It is Drinks Chances, motherfucker podcast. Man, he's a legends 0:00:15.800 --> 0:00:18.600 every queen's rapper. He's agreed as your boy in O R. 0:00:18.640 --> 0:00:21.880 He's a Miami hip hop mayonaier p up its dj 0:00:22.040 --> 0:00:22.560 E f N. 0:00:22.720 --> 0:00:25.560 Together they drink it up with some of the biggest players, 0:00:25.600 --> 0:00:28.760 you know what I mean. And the most professional, unprofessional 0:00:28.880 --> 0:00:32.280 podcast and your number one source for drunk drink chans 0:00:32.280 --> 0:00:35.080 mother for every day is New Year's Eve. That's it's 0:00:35.200 --> 0:00:44.920 time for drink Champions. Drink up, motherfuck mother? Would a 0:00:44.920 --> 0:00:46.360 good be hoping? He's what a super this is your 0:00:46.360 --> 0:00:48.319 boy in O R E. What up is dj E 0:00:48.400 --> 0:00:49.959 f N? And this is drink Champs Happy. I will 0:00:50.040 --> 0:00:54.040 make something now. 0:00:54.280 --> 0:00:56.080 Now I'm gonna say this because the persons that we 0:00:56.120 --> 0:01:01.440 have today, I'm proud to say is one of my 0:01:01.760 --> 0:01:05.360 favorite comedians. I would say all the time, I will say, 0:01:05.560 --> 0:01:07.920 you know, one of my favorite white comedians, and that's 0:01:08.000 --> 0:01:09.679 not right because I don't say one of my favorite 0:01:09.840 --> 0:01:10.679 Eddie Murphy is one. 0:01:10.560 --> 0:01:12.880 Of my favorite black comedians. So this is one of 0:01:12.920 --> 0:01:17.040 my favorite comedians. I'm pause. I'm so into this dude 0:01:17.480 --> 0:01:18.920 that this morning when I woke up. 0:01:18.840 --> 0:01:22.400 And you had to pause I said, I woke up 0:01:23.240 --> 0:01:27.319 and my wife said I I got bread, and she 0:01:27.440 --> 0:01:27.959 was like who. 0:01:28.040 --> 0:01:29.320 And you know, I don't know how to pronounce your 0:01:29.360 --> 0:01:31.640 last name. It's like it's like Restchester sauce. No one 0:01:31.680 --> 0:01:35.240 wants to, no one wants to, no one wants to 0:01:35.280 --> 0:01:39.479 say that. So this is how I knew. 0:01:40.400 --> 0:01:42.280 I go one of my favorite comedians and she goes, 0:01:42.360 --> 0:01:46.000 who the white guy with no shirt? And when I 0:01:46.040 --> 0:01:49.000 tell you, man, I watch all of his specials. I 0:01:49.040 --> 0:01:51.800 watch everything about this man. I follow him on Instagram. 0:01:52.000 --> 0:01:54.360 He hands down one of the funniest people on the planet. 0:01:54.520 --> 0:01:57.120 He's hands down my spirit drinking animal. 0:01:57.360 --> 0:01:58.200 He set a speech. 0:01:58.520 --> 0:02:00.520 He set a speech one day, and that's how I 0:02:00.560 --> 0:02:06.080 know all of our friends are alcoholics, because we campaign that. 0:02:06.120 --> 0:02:10.240 Speech as if it was Phil Jackson looking at Michael 0:02:10.320 --> 0:02:13.880 Jordan's at one quarter, and we all live by this speech. 0:02:14.040 --> 0:02:15.360 So in case you don't know who the fuck I'm 0:02:15.360 --> 0:02:21.440 talking about, talking about the one, holy right Christian and 0:02:21.520 --> 0:02:24.079 now I'm ready to drink. Okay, so listen, let me 0:02:24.120 --> 0:02:28.760 just say before you start, Jamie K I wanted to 0:02:28.960 --> 0:02:31.360 get something expression. I know they told you Vodka Club 0:02:31.440 --> 0:02:34.840 sold the Vodka Club, but I wanted to bring and 0:02:34.919 --> 0:02:37.200 drink with you. I've been holding this bottle with a 0:02:37.320 --> 0:02:48.840 Pappy Van winks. Shut the fuck, shut up. I've been saying, 0:02:49.720 --> 0:02:54.960 take my shirt off. I've been ready to drink this, 0:02:56.000 --> 0:03:02.880 and so I got FaceTime like this is in singing dude, dude, 0:03:02.960 --> 0:03:07.240 by the way, that's the reaction I wanted holding it. 0:03:07.440 --> 0:03:09.440 I'm just thinking some of my friends and they be like, 0:03:09.520 --> 0:03:11.040 what is that. I'm trying to explain to them what 0:03:11.120 --> 0:03:12.320 it is, but I. 0:03:12.240 --> 0:03:15.080 Don't do you know what you know about pappy? Oh yeah, 0:03:15.400 --> 0:03:19.320 my dad, my dad, this is his whiskey. Like he 0:03:19.800 --> 0:03:21.640 had a friend who had some and brought him over 0:03:21.680 --> 0:03:23.680 and he had some of My dad talks about this whiskey. 0:03:24.040 --> 0:03:26.480 No fucking stop. It's hard to get, it's hard to find, 0:03:26.639 --> 0:03:33.000 it's expensively ship. Ye, dude, Yeah, I'm gonna do a glass. 0:03:33.040 --> 0:03:35.520 I'm gonna do a glass. I'm gonna do a glass. Yes, 0:03:35.640 --> 0:03:37.720 no ice, straight up, straight up. I was wondering what 0:03:37.760 --> 0:03:40.800 I was gonna drink. When I watch you guys sometimes 0:03:40.880 --> 0:03:43.280 I'm like, are they taking shots of champagne? And I 0:03:43.320 --> 0:03:45.360 was like, I don't know, champagne gets me gassy. I 0:03:45.360 --> 0:03:47.119 was like, I really want to drink whiskey. I'm gonna 0:03:47.160 --> 0:03:49.120 sound so fucking out of touch. They're like, like, what 0:03:49.160 --> 0:03:52.520 do you want? Because I love Jack Daniel Jack drink dude. 0:03:52.520 --> 0:03:55.000 I walked on the plane yesterday and the flight two 0:03:55.040 --> 0:03:57.760 dude flight attendants were sitting there and they have the 0:03:57.800 --> 0:04:00.360 biggest shit eating grins on their face, and I looked 0:04:00.360 --> 0:04:02.040 at me and they go double jack on the rocks 0:04:02.080 --> 0:04:06.720 lots as I stepped on the fucking plane and then 0:04:06.720 --> 0:04:09.120 they got me in the cocktail. I was fucking hammerd 0:04:10.600 --> 0:04:12.920 So he's like, I was driving the plane. So let 0:04:12.960 --> 0:04:15.920 me ask you because that's like I got twenty twenty 0:04:15.960 --> 0:04:18.720 things that I go to if I ever like filling 0:04:18.880 --> 0:04:21.240 down or whatever. And you have two of them, there's 0:04:21.240 --> 0:04:21.640 a twenty. 0:04:22.040 --> 0:04:24.720 The one is the motivational speech when you say I'm 0:04:24.720 --> 0:04:25.200 gonna take. 0:04:25.120 --> 0:04:29.200 Care of myself just enough. Soaka, wow, can you explain 0:04:29.240 --> 0:04:32.479 that to people who who just seeing that footage? Yeah? 0:04:32.520 --> 0:04:35.240 So I have this theory. I'm very punitive, so like 0:04:35.320 --> 0:04:37.760 I wake up if I'm hungover, I feel like I 0:04:37.839 --> 0:04:40.200 deserve to punish myself a little bit so that I 0:04:40.200 --> 0:04:41.800 can write the boat Like this morning I was bad. 0:04:41.800 --> 0:04:43.320 I was bad this morning I drank all day in 0:04:43.360 --> 0:04:47.039 Miami yesterday and then woke up this morning sweating. I 0:04:47.080 --> 0:04:50.239 got scared, like every wake up, mean, I just got scared, 0:04:50.400 --> 0:04:52.560 Like what did you do last day? I just don't 0:04:52.680 --> 0:04:54.880 just scared, just like I don't want to be alone 0:04:54.960 --> 0:04:58.400 right now. And I was like, all right, can up 0:04:58.480 --> 0:05:00.599 go to get on the treadmill and then bust out 0:05:00.880 --> 0:05:02.240 like I tried to put in four miles on the 0:05:02.240 --> 0:05:05.160 tremill every day and then. And I'm a personal trainer. 0:05:05.279 --> 0:05:08.080 I shoot gear like I'm on steroids, so like, so 0:05:08.600 --> 0:05:12.279 we should talk about that because I walk, We should 0:05:12.040 --> 0:05:14.680 said they know what ever, I'm worrying about you today? 0:05:14.800 --> 0:05:17.839 It was oh shit, oh shit, okay, it's really good 0:05:17.880 --> 0:05:20.120 for your it's my cardiologist got me on it now. 0:05:20.160 --> 0:05:22.560 The steroids, he goes. HiT's a specific kind of SA. No, 0:05:22.600 --> 0:05:25.360 it's testosterone. Oh, it's like the regular like workout ship 0:05:25.400 --> 0:05:28.120 I do. My dick's hard NonStop. It's I know I'm 0:05:28.160 --> 0:05:30.720 being as serious. Those below tracksuits. I can't wear them 0:05:30.720 --> 0:05:32.800 on places. I wake up with a rock. My dick's hard, 0:05:32.839 --> 0:05:34.400 like when we were kids. Do you remember when we 0:05:34.400 --> 0:05:36.360 were kids and our dicks got hard all the time, 0:05:36.440 --> 0:05:40.160 You're like, I'm at my grandma's fucking funeral. My dick 0:05:40.320 --> 0:05:42.640 is hard, my littles aret that good, that used to 0:05:42.680 --> 0:05:45.960 be better. But who cares. I'm shooting blanks into a 0:05:46.000 --> 0:05:48.840 fucking lady on Menopaus. 0:05:49.760 --> 0:05:55.640 Happy Mother's Day. 0:05:55.720 --> 0:05:57.520 By the way, I'm just be honest with you. I 0:05:57.680 --> 0:06:00.920 drank a bottle of ten. I drink a bottle of ten. 0:06:01.200 --> 0:06:04.120 I've drank a bottle. Yeah, I think I've only drank 0:06:04.160 --> 0:06:06.159 a whole bottle of ten. I've never drank a bottle 0:06:06.160 --> 0:06:08.000 of fifteen. It's my first time, and I'm gonna try 0:06:08.000 --> 0:06:08.839 to finish the whole bottle. 0:06:11.320 --> 0:06:19.320 Hey, you just trying to make it hate it like this, 0:06:19.400 --> 0:06:25.120 I produce me the rest of the advertises. But let's 0:06:25.120 --> 0:06:27.720 talk about that. Like, So, so I work out, so 0:06:27.960 --> 0:06:29.880 I used to have. I have this feeling like if 0:06:29.880 --> 0:06:31.719 you let the dirty stuff stay inside you, if you 0:06:31.720 --> 0:06:33.440 don't sweat it out or burn it out, then it 0:06:33.480 --> 0:06:35.040 builds up. And when it builds up, that's when you 0:06:35.080 --> 0:06:37.920 start getting sick. So, like, I just work out hard 0:06:37.960 --> 0:06:40.320 every day so they can party at night. And if 0:06:40.360 --> 0:06:42.120 I really push it, and like if I have like 0:06:42.160 --> 0:06:45.840 a full day, like Sauna polar plunge, hour, hour and 0:06:45.880 --> 0:06:49.520 a half workout lifting weights. Dude, I get through a 0:06:49.600 --> 0:06:51.239 day great. I get up at six in the morning, 0:06:51.240 --> 0:06:53.920 I work out and then and then I liked, I 0:06:53.960 --> 0:06:57.960 love I love the sparkle the alcohol gives you, Like, 0:06:58.040 --> 0:07:00.680 I just love it. I love the feeling when like, 0:07:01.040 --> 0:07:03.520 I had a secret the other day and I told 0:07:03.520 --> 0:07:06.000 my wife, I said, I got a good fucking secret, 0:07:06.040 --> 0:07:08.320 and she goes like, open a bottle of wine. And 0:07:08.360 --> 0:07:10.280 then and then you're like, yeah, open a bottle of wine. 0:07:10.360 --> 0:07:12.040 And then you get blankets, you go out to the 0:07:12.080 --> 0:07:14.000 fire fit outside, you bring the dogs out, and then 0:07:14.000 --> 0:07:15.360 you pour glass of wine. You're like, all right, what's 0:07:15.360 --> 0:07:17.920 the secret? Like that energy, I just fucking love it, 0:07:18.240 --> 0:07:20.600 And so I like this. I loved it. I've been 0:07:20.600 --> 0:07:23.200 waiting for this drink all fucking day. And so I 0:07:23.240 --> 0:07:25.040 never want to get rid of I never want to 0:07:25.080 --> 0:07:27.720 be irresponsible enough that I can't do it, because I've 0:07:27.760 --> 0:07:29.840 watched that happen to people and you're like, fuck, you 0:07:29.920 --> 0:07:32.560 fucked it up, Like you could have especially ever talked 0:07:32.560 --> 0:07:35.280 to dudes who got sober at like sixteen, and you're like, oh, 0:07:35.320 --> 0:07:39.640 you never even got to have margaritas. You never got 0:07:39.640 --> 0:07:42.800 the fun stuff. You got sober and Cisco and James. 0:07:42.840 --> 0:07:46.440 You never had a face and come on, yeah, I 0:07:46.480 --> 0:07:48.840 love that. I love that feeling. And so I try 0:07:48.840 --> 0:07:51.440 to stay healthy enough and like do the enough good 0:07:51.480 --> 0:07:53.680 stuff so that I can keep drinking because I just 0:07:53.720 --> 0:07:55.280 I love it. I do love it. But never a 0:07:55.280 --> 0:07:58.040 health scare at all. No, never know when you say that, 0:07:58.120 --> 0:08:01.720 knock on fucking what by the way, you are the 0:08:01.840 --> 0:08:02.679 drinking god. 0:08:04.840 --> 0:08:07.880 Me following you, me following you on Instagram has probably 0:08:07.880 --> 0:08:10.800 been the best thing I've ever did. I love following 0:08:10.800 --> 0:08:12.480 you on Instagram and I love you. Just show the 0:08:12.480 --> 0:08:14.640 cabin show what is it? Oh yeah, yeah on Netflix? 0:08:14.720 --> 0:08:17.320 Okay, that's funny though, Like you know, Snoop's hard to 0:08:17.320 --> 0:08:20.200 get ahold of, right, he's got like four phones? Yeah 0:08:20.400 --> 0:08:21.760 he don't he only I don't know what he never 0:08:21.800 --> 0:08:25.240 has one. It's assistant, got assistant, yeah, yeah, yeah. And 0:08:25.360 --> 0:08:27.960 so we were doing two Bears one cave one time, 0:08:28.280 --> 0:08:29.480 and I was like, let's see if we can get 0:08:29.480 --> 0:08:30.680 a hold of Snoop, see if he wants to go 0:08:30.720 --> 0:08:34.720 fishing with us. Just so I called him and he answered, 0:08:34.920 --> 0:08:39.360 he didn't say anything, and I was like, Snoop Snoop Dogg, 0:08:40.160 --> 0:08:44.840 Snoop Doggie Dog Calvin and then all of a sudden, 0:08:44.840 --> 0:08:46.800 he goes, who's this and when it's Burt and he goes, 0:08:46.840 --> 0:08:49.720 you're a bad motherfucker bird Riiser. He goes, I just 0:08:49.760 --> 0:08:52.960 binge watched the cabin. I was like, shit, it was 0:08:53.000 --> 0:08:55.000 an accident. Man. I know, I'm not supposed to talk 0:08:55.080 --> 0:08:57.679 like this because you know what was the accident. The 0:08:57.760 --> 0:09:00.440 whole fucking thing was an accident during the pandemic. No, no, yeah, 0:09:00.480 --> 0:09:03.760 so what We sold a show to Netflix that was scripted, 0:09:04.040 --> 0:09:06.240 so it was scripted. It was it's a series that 0:09:06.320 --> 0:09:08.960 was in Canada that this Canadian dude did a French 0:09:09.000 --> 0:09:12.000 speaking series and it was scripted, and so we were 0:09:12.000 --> 0:09:14.720 gonna write scripts and cast it. But all of a sudden, 0:09:15.040 --> 0:09:18.640 pandemics starts showing up, and uh, and we can't get 0:09:18.679 --> 0:09:20.680 a cast. We're trying to get a cast before Christmas. 0:09:20.720 --> 0:09:22.679 We can't lock down a cast, and then all of 0:09:22.679 --> 0:09:26.480 a sudden, we're ready to start shooting, Pandemics starting to 0:09:26.600 --> 0:09:29.320 kick in and we're like, fuck it, let's just we'll 0:09:29.360 --> 0:09:31.640 figure it out and just and we just played it 0:09:31.679 --> 0:09:33.640 by ear and we just tried to make each other 0:09:33.720 --> 0:09:36.560 laugh and that was the I mean, I mean we 0:09:36.600 --> 0:09:39.880 said the very first show. It was me and Tom 0:09:39.920 --> 0:09:43.880 processing an EMU with a chainsaw, and we were looking 0:09:43.880 --> 0:09:45.840 at each other going, are we gonna get in trouble? 0:09:46.440 --> 0:09:49.040 Like this is like I'm oblivious to I'm oblivious to 0:09:49.040 --> 0:09:51.679 cancel culture and like I just say things and then 0:09:51.800 --> 0:09:53.280 and then I lay in bed and go, what the 0:09:53.320 --> 0:09:56.400 fuck's wrong? And then we had a scene with Donald 0:09:56.480 --> 0:10:00.319 Rollins and Bobby Lee. You're taking my interview, dude, that 0:10:00.400 --> 0:10:02.520 is my next question, by the way, the fun That 0:10:02.640 --> 0:10:07.160 was the funniest, shortest I've ever laughed in my fuck. Look, okay, 0:10:07.960 --> 0:10:10.160 I was offended at first, Like you could tell that 0:10:10.200 --> 0:10:14.079 you didn't tell him. I could tell, Oh, yeah, tell 0:10:14.160 --> 0:10:18.840 I didn't love gayshit. He walks into you and him 0:10:19.280 --> 0:10:22.160 nicky right him bother your naked on the bear skin rug. 0:10:22.520 --> 0:10:26.240 I love gay shit, Like, oh my guys love. If 0:10:26.240 --> 0:10:28.720 I can sneak around and put my dick on his shoulder, 0:10:29.040 --> 0:10:33.319 he'd be like, got me, you love white guys love 0:10:33.400 --> 0:10:38.040 gash already. I don't know why, man, it's like the 0:10:38.160 --> 0:10:41.079 gayer the fun or it is for me, like I mean, 0:10:41.120 --> 0:10:43.720 our whole podcast two Bears One Cave is based on 0:10:43.840 --> 0:10:46.640 me and Tom fantasizing what we'd be like if we 0:10:46.640 --> 0:10:50.760 were gay, and I go, I would be great. I'd 0:10:50.800 --> 0:10:52.959 come home and I'd chase you and hold you down 0:10:53.000 --> 0:10:55.080 and wrestle you. And he'd be like, I don't think 0:10:55.160 --> 0:10:56.880 that's how it's done. I go, that's how I do it. 0:10:58.840 --> 0:11:00.440 And then that's how he came up with two Bears, 0:11:00.480 --> 0:11:03.280 One Cave. Yeah. Man, there's a moment in the Bobby, 0:11:03.320 --> 0:11:06.880 Bobby and Donnelle. Now it's hard to explain. Like comics, 0:11:08.080 --> 0:11:10.040 we're like brothers, you know. So like even if I 0:11:10.080 --> 0:11:11.640 don't know each other, even if we don't know each other, 0:11:11.640 --> 0:11:13.560 we're like brothers. We take care of each other. Yeah, 0:11:13.559 --> 0:11:15.520 we talked shit about each other sometimes, but like we 0:11:15.600 --> 0:11:19.320 love each other and you can't really offend us. So 0:11:19.360 --> 0:11:23.520 there's a moment where we're doing scream therapy and Bobby 0:11:23.600 --> 0:11:28.000 starts being I go channel your They both lost their fathers, 0:11:28.080 --> 0:11:31.920 and I go channel your father, and Bobby goes, I'll 0:11:32.000 --> 0:11:34.440 channel your father, Donelle, and I go, I wouldn't do 0:11:34.480 --> 0:11:38.520 the accent, Bobby, and he's like, hey, Donell and we'rebby 0:11:38.520 --> 0:11:41.640 Bobby stop and then Donelle starts going, oh, Bobby's and 0:11:41.679 --> 0:11:44.200 they're going back and float and I am crying. I'm 0:11:44.240 --> 0:11:48.800 crying laughing, and we are all three dudes. I'm in 0:11:48.840 --> 0:11:51.959 a road naked. They should give me a coffee, Enema. 0:11:52.040 --> 0:11:55.800 I ship all over Bobby's fans. I mean, there is 0:11:55.960 --> 0:11:59.280 the best part. The best part is we have a 0:11:59.320 --> 0:12:06.240 psychic at the end, a psychic. And she goes, She goes, uh, Donelle, 0:12:06.320 --> 0:12:09.960 I'm sensing that your your father wasn't around. Oh ship? 0:12:10.720 --> 0:12:12.679 Was that a fantas a fat? I ain't gona lie 0:12:12.760 --> 0:12:15.120 my bad. I was eating pizza. We got your pizza too. 0:12:15.200 --> 0:12:17.280 Oh fuck, I got your pizza. We got you pizza. 0:12:17.320 --> 0:12:20.760 Got that from Joe's pizza. I'm sorry, I finished, damn 0:12:20.760 --> 0:12:24.800 you hold on. She goes Donelle, sensing that your father 0:12:24.960 --> 0:12:28.400 wasn't around much, and he goes really and she goes, 0:12:28.880 --> 0:12:31.840 was he away somewhere? And then I go, what are 0:12:31.840 --> 0:12:33.559 you sensing from Bobby's dad? And she goes, he was 0:12:33.600 --> 0:12:36.760 really strict? I go, man, you's being racist, like, yeah, donee, 0:12:36.880 --> 0:12:40.360 that was in prison? That yeah? Tell me about my dad. 0:12:40.400 --> 0:12:42.679 Was he a lawyer? Buddy, buddy? Are you guessing no? 0:12:42.840 --> 0:12:45.440 That was that that whole series was fun as fuck. 0:12:45.640 --> 0:12:48.679 We didn't expect it to do well, and and and people. 0:12:48.760 --> 0:12:50.559 I'm glad people found it and enjoy it. 0:12:50.960 --> 0:12:54.840 And by the way, I don't see nothing prior to 0:12:54.840 --> 0:12:57.200 that on TV like that. And then after like that, 0:12:58.280 --> 0:12:58.880 you guys would be. 0:12:58.840 --> 0:13:02.040 Awesome on it because it's just people. 0:13:02.200 --> 0:13:07.199 A yeah, no, you know reverse I say reverse colon 0:13:07.280 --> 0:13:10.000 because I drink the salt water. I call it a 0:13:10.040 --> 0:13:12.319 reverse klonic because you're pissing out jazz a lot. 0:13:12.320 --> 0:13:14.000 I had a colodna once. We used when we were kids. 0:13:14.000 --> 0:13:15.840 We used to take the hose and shoving up her 0:13:15.840 --> 0:13:24.040 ass the holes. Yeah, and then this kind of love. 0:13:24.120 --> 0:13:27.440 I love what you said. You took your father to escapehouse. Yeah, 0:13:27.600 --> 0:13:30.320 escape room? Yeah, okay, so how did that happen? So 0:13:30.520 --> 0:13:33.240 we do it is one of this It's so funny 0:13:33.240 --> 0:13:35.480 because I was I didn't. I wasn't doing it as 0:13:35.480 --> 0:13:38.120 a bit. And then Georgia called me on stage one night. 0:13:38.160 --> 0:13:41.120 She's in college. And if college kid calls, your answer, 0:13:41.280 --> 0:13:43.160 George is his daughter. George is my oldest. I feel 0:13:43.200 --> 0:13:45.040 like I know your whole family, you know. Can I 0:13:45.040 --> 0:13:47.600 tell you there's a golf named David Ardy and I'm 0:13:47.600 --> 0:13:49.480 a big fan of his. He's an announcer and I 0:13:49.559 --> 0:13:51.720 ran into him at to Live tournament in Adelaide and 0:13:51.760 --> 0:13:54.280 I go, Dad, Arity, Holy ship did fucking arity. I'm 0:13:54.320 --> 0:13:55.920 in an elevator. Huh. And he's trying to keep a 0:13:56.280 --> 0:13:59.040 propriiately go I'm burt. I'm a comedian. And he turns around. 0:13:59.080 --> 0:14:01.480 He goes Georgia and Ireland Daddy, and I went, oh fuck, 0:14:01.520 --> 0:14:04.040 I'm maybe I'm talking about my kids too much. And 0:14:04.040 --> 0:14:05.920 your wife, yeah, oh I talk. I was just I 0:14:05.960 --> 0:14:08.320 was talking about her on kay Rock this morning. Wow, 0:14:08.360 --> 0:14:11.120 like yeah, saying she was old. I don't know what 0:14:11.160 --> 0:14:14.120 I was saying. She got me reading glasses and uh, 0:14:14.240 --> 0:14:16.520 I didn't realize when I gave her a kiss. I 0:14:16.559 --> 0:14:18.840 hadn't seen this bitch on high death in ten fucking years. 0:14:18.840 --> 0:14:21.720 Oh my god. Yeah. And I'm on kay Rock and 0:14:21.720 --> 0:14:23.600 she calls, we're listening to you on k Rock. I'm like, 0:14:23.640 --> 0:14:27.800 oh god, here, Yeah, I'm an open book. I overshare 0:14:28.320 --> 0:14:30.760 and I feel like I feel like I try to 0:14:30.760 --> 0:14:33.120 be as honest as I can about my feelings about 0:14:33.120 --> 0:14:35.760 my family because it's like it's like you could sit 0:14:35.800 --> 0:14:37.640 there and celebrate your wife, celebrate your kids all day. 0:14:37.640 --> 0:14:39.440 But like most of the time, the funniest stories we 0:14:39.440 --> 0:14:41.840 share about our kids are on when we shitting on them, 0:14:42.040 --> 0:14:43.880 And you're like, like, she called one time on I 0:14:43.960 --> 0:14:47.120 got in trouble for shooting dice and she called up 0:14:47.160 --> 0:14:49.960 on two bears, and you're listening to two parents trying 0:14:49.960 --> 0:14:53.080 to parent a situation for real, not like the Cosmy 0:14:53.120 --> 0:14:55.160 show where it's like but it's and so that's the 0:14:55.200 --> 0:14:59.840 way I've always approached it. But yeah, we took George 0:14:59.840 --> 0:15:02.960 and Ilo wanted my dad uh to go to an 0:15:03.040 --> 0:15:04.840 escape room and say wanted to him to lose his 0:15:04.880 --> 0:15:08.400 ship because he has he like he'll spin out of control, 0:15:08.440 --> 0:15:09.800 and I have a pay he wanted him to lose. 0:15:10.120 --> 0:15:12.040 That's the only reason they want him to go. The 0:15:12.040 --> 0:15:13.720 only reason you and him to where good at it. 0:15:13.720 --> 0:15:15.400 We don't work good as a team, Like we want 0:15:15.400 --> 0:15:17.280 to take Papa to a scape room. I go, you 0:15:17.320 --> 0:15:19.160 got your fucking mind, And they're like, we want you 0:15:19.200 --> 0:15:20.480 to go too. I go, no, we don't work well 0:15:20.480 --> 0:15:22.800 together as a team, and like, yeah, we know. And 0:15:22.840 --> 0:15:24.880 then we went and it was dude, it was in 0:15:24.920 --> 0:15:27.680 a jew's house, it was in a mall, it was 0:15:27.720 --> 0:15:29.840 in a DU's house in a bad fucking neighborhood. We 0:15:29.920 --> 0:15:32.280 knock on the door. Dude's already in character, in a robe, 0:15:32.440 --> 0:15:34.920 towel around his head, stroking a cat, just looking at me, 0:15:35.000 --> 0:15:37.920 going have you seen my mother? And my dad's like, 0:15:38.000 --> 0:15:41.160 it's just fucking real. We walked in. He gets us 0:15:41.160 --> 0:15:42.960 into his mother's room and locks the door, and I'm like, 0:15:43.040 --> 0:15:44.880 I just walked my family in a Steiler Kills house, 0:15:45.080 --> 0:15:47.520 like I'm and my dad's like, you dumb mother. He 0:15:47.600 --> 0:15:51.360 decided to wait. We didn't even waiver, didn't him a 0:15:51.360 --> 0:15:54.400 credit card, just locked into a fucking room. My dad 0:15:54.440 --> 0:15:57.840 goes he turned his house into a fucking escape room, 0:15:58.040 --> 0:16:04.280 like Jeffrey Dahmer and you. When I'm now, I'm having 0:16:04.320 --> 0:16:06.040 a real pain attack. I'm not gonna take a shit 0:16:06.160 --> 0:16:08.400 if i'm I'm like looking for a voss or something 0:16:08.400 --> 0:16:10.440 to shit in. My dad's spinning out of a stroll. 0:16:10.560 --> 0:16:12.480 My mom's excited. He's like, do you think he's gonna 0:16:12.520 --> 0:16:14.320 tie us up? My mom and my dad like, shut 0:16:14.320 --> 0:16:18.520 the fucking package, dude. It was the fucking and I 0:16:18.560 --> 0:16:21.000 didn't remember any of it. A panic attack. Georgia called 0:16:21.000 --> 0:16:23.000 me on stage. She was like she was like, Yo, 0:16:23.840 --> 0:16:25.600 are you telling the escape room story? I was like, 0:16:27.880 --> 0:16:28.280 what's up? 0:16:28.360 --> 0:16:32.600 Drink Champs army ready for a staggering statistic. Nearly seventy 0:16:32.640 --> 0:16:35.920 seven percent of fathers settle for their lady's uncomfortable baby 0:16:35.920 --> 0:16:39.720 bag when they're outside with their kids. That's according to 0:16:39.800 --> 0:16:43.240 your very own eyes, So just look around. Settling is 0:16:43.280 --> 0:16:47.240 not where it's at. Dad's deserved better. No more struggling 0:16:47.320 --> 0:16:50.760 to find the wipes, the diapers, the cream, or your 0:16:50.760 --> 0:16:55.680 own personal items. Introducing the Flyest Dad Bag, the Firstborn 0:16:56.080 --> 0:16:59.680 from fly dadgear dot Com. It's the perfect backpack to 0:16:59.760 --> 0:17:04.280 keep dad and baby ready for whatever. Twenty one compartments 0:17:04.280 --> 0:17:06.920 make it easy to keep everything in its place and 0:17:06.960 --> 0:17:09.400 never again to dig through the bottom on this hole 0:17:09.480 --> 0:17:13.440 that's your lady's bag. Trust me, I wouldn't have become 0:17:13.480 --> 0:17:17.160 a partner of fly Dad if it wasn't legit. Not 0:17:17.200 --> 0:17:20.600 only is the Firstborn my baby bag, but also the 0:17:20.600 --> 0:17:23.080 bag I take on set for Drink Champs, the bag 0:17:23.119 --> 0:17:26.040 I travel with and pretty much my go to backpack 0:17:26.240 --> 0:17:30.720 for everything I do. If stain fly and being functional 0:17:30.840 --> 0:17:34.879 is your goal, head to fly dadgear dot Com, Forward, 0:17:34.920 --> 0:17:41.840 slash Amazon and get your fly Dad back today. 0:17:43.560 --> 0:17:46.160 No, she goes, what about it? She goes, we only 0:17:46.160 --> 0:17:47.880 brought you and Pap up there so you'd lose your shit. 0:17:48.000 --> 0:17:49.520 I was like, and it gets a laugh. I go no. 0:17:50.000 --> 0:17:52.400 She goes, he remember Papa through Nana into the wall, 0:17:52.440 --> 0:17:54.400 and I went, oh yeah, yeah, that gets a laugh. 0:17:54.520 --> 0:17:56.760 Do you remember we got into that trapdoor and you 0:17:56.800 --> 0:17:59.240 took your shit and Papa's mouth and the big pop 0:17:59.320 --> 0:18:02.000 because you farted. I farted and he was behind me. 0:18:02.040 --> 0:18:04.600 We were crawling, and so I farted into his mouth 0:18:04.680 --> 0:18:07.800 like the human centipede right there, and he went from 0:18:07.840 --> 0:18:17.679 coach to count real quick, cock sucker the whole from it. Yeah. So, 0:18:18.240 --> 0:18:20.919 but yeah, a lot of times I'm not I'm not 0:18:21.000 --> 0:18:23.719 the I don't I'm not good at flagging the funny 0:18:23.760 --> 0:18:26.600 stories like I'm good at I can retell them. I 0:18:26.600 --> 0:18:28.960 don't remember them really like And then my wife will go, 0:18:29.320 --> 0:18:31.760 are you doing the bit about I love with the thing? 0:18:31.800 --> 0:18:33.680 And I'll go, oh, no, so you don't write you 0:18:33.720 --> 0:18:36.600 don't you write it down? I uh no, I put 0:18:36.640 --> 0:18:39.000 it in my voice text in my phone. I have 0:18:39.040 --> 0:18:41.119 a joke, but I carried with me, so I write 0:18:41.520 --> 0:18:43.520 all the jokes with like two words. So that I know, 0:18:43.640 --> 0:18:46.080 I know the list, but no, I don't write it. 0:18:46.119 --> 0:18:49.359 I don't like you know, it's so funny, is I'm 0:18:49.400 --> 0:18:51.760 obviously I'm a big family show. So I love listening 0:18:51.800 --> 0:18:54.679 to that of like, like dudes who can listen to 0:18:54.720 --> 0:18:57.880 a song like jay Z and just listen and then 0:18:58.000 --> 0:18:59.640 just go. And then there's guys that need to sit 0:18:59.680 --> 0:19:01.960 with it for a while. I'm more of a sit 0:19:02.040 --> 0:19:04.560 with it for a while. I can jay Z a 0:19:04.720 --> 0:19:09.160 story off the top of my head on stage first time. 0:19:09.359 --> 0:19:11.240 Second time, it doesn't work again, but it won't work 0:19:11.240 --> 0:19:14.560 again second time. But yeah, it's I always. It's interesting, 0:19:14.560 --> 0:19:16.520 you know. Rogan asked that question a lot about how 0:19:16.520 --> 0:19:19.440 people write, and it's a fascinating, fascinating way to find 0:19:19.480 --> 0:19:23.720 out what people's approach to creativity is. Because yeah, yeah, 0:19:23.760 --> 0:19:26.320 because I was. I was a I was a fucking 0:19:26.359 --> 0:19:29.480 poet for a minute in college and I was so bad. 0:19:30.000 --> 0:19:34.560 I was so bad poetry poet. Yeah, like my angel 0:19:34.880 --> 0:19:37.480 you don't know, it was so bad. And I would 0:19:37.480 --> 0:19:40.520 read them and make eye contact with them and my 0:19:40.800 --> 0:19:43.040 my buddies. You thought you was good. I thought you amazing. 0:19:43.240 --> 0:19:46.040 I thought I was fucking amazing. I thought I was amazing. 0:19:46.240 --> 0:19:49.480 You remember any of these poems. I'd love to hear one. No. 0:19:50.840 --> 0:19:53.560 I thank god I found comedy, Thank fucking god. Damn it. 0:19:53.640 --> 0:19:59.000 But now there's a ruma that Ban Wilder, Yeah, through 0:19:59.040 --> 0:20:01.800 your Life is he's off for your life? Well it's 0:20:02.040 --> 0:20:04.480 I mean, look, it's a rumor. I've never I talked 0:20:04.480 --> 0:20:07.480 to National Lampoon once and they because that's qualified it. Yeah, 0:20:07.720 --> 0:20:10.080 they they what they qualified it. Okay, Oh, they said 0:20:10.080 --> 0:20:12.320 it's true. I did a dude's radio show one time. 0:20:12.440 --> 0:20:15.480 I'm for National Lampoon, and I brought the executives in 0:20:15.600 --> 0:20:18.320 and I kind of like flew it by them and 0:20:18.359 --> 0:20:20.160 they were like, they were like cut off, cut off, 0:20:20.280 --> 0:20:22.280 fucking Mike's what's going on? What's going on? And I 0:20:22.280 --> 0:20:23.320 was like, no, I just want to be able to 0:20:23.560 --> 0:20:25.280 I'm wanting to be able to talk about it. And 0:20:25.320 --> 0:20:27.920 then they were like yeah, and then we were gonna 0:20:27.920 --> 0:20:30.720 do parting with the original Van Wilder, like I was 0:20:30.760 --> 0:20:33.719 a radio show on National Lampoons on Serious XM. But 0:20:33.760 --> 0:20:35.520 it never happened. But No, I had nothing to do 0:20:35.560 --> 0:20:37.160 with the movie. I didn't write the movie. I didn't 0:20:37.160 --> 0:20:38.440 start in the movie. I have nothing to the movie. 0:20:38.600 --> 0:20:40.480 Did say the movie is based on you. I mean 0:20:40.600 --> 0:20:42.879 a few people have said that to me. So did 0:20:42.920 --> 0:20:44.679 you see it? It was like, I've never never watched it. 0:20:44.760 --> 0:20:48.280 You never watched them? No, I never watched it. Holy moment. 0:20:48.359 --> 0:20:50.359 Can I tell you something for real? And I feel 0:20:50.359 --> 0:20:55.120 like I'm close. I always wanted when that happened, because 0:20:55.119 --> 0:20:57.160 you felt like they robbed you or something. No, no, okay, no, 0:20:57.359 --> 0:20:59.480 I had. We had a conference call with my managers 0:20:59.520 --> 0:21:01.440 and agents the day of the weekend movie came out, 0:21:01.880 --> 0:21:05.080 and they were like, we should sue, we should sue. Clearly, 0:21:05.200 --> 0:21:08.120 this is adjacent to your story. It's I mean, it's 0:21:08.119 --> 0:21:12.920 almost identical because it's a journalist writing a story about 0:21:12.920 --> 0:21:15.640 a party animal. Okay, that's what happened. Rolling Stone magazine 0:21:16.119 --> 0:21:18.080 note they got to have paid an article about me, 0:21:18.280 --> 0:21:19.879 calling me the number one party and I'm on the country. 0:21:19.880 --> 0:21:22.440 It changed my life, It changed my party. I've read 0:21:22.440 --> 0:21:25.760 it in New York Post, Rolling Stone, Rolling Stone, and 0:21:25.920 --> 0:21:28.200 I got ninety seven, wrote a six and a half 0:21:28.200 --> 0:21:29.840 page article about me, call me the number one party 0:21:29.840 --> 0:21:32.000 on the counry, and it changed my life. Hollerstone's company 0:21:32.000 --> 0:21:34.040 optioned the rights to my life. I moved to New 0:21:34.119 --> 0:21:36.280 York will Smith discovered me. I mean it was like 0:21:36.520 --> 0:21:38.840 it's like it really was like the best thing that 0:21:38.880 --> 0:21:41.479 ever happened to me. And so when that movie came out, 0:21:41.520 --> 0:21:43.560 they were like, hey, we should sue. And I have 0:21:43.680 --> 0:21:47.879 one manager shout out to Barry Katz, who very wisely 0:21:47.960 --> 0:21:51.600 said he's an interesting dude. He goes, pop, um, can 0:21:51.640 --> 0:21:55.440 I interject for a second. There's two types of people 0:21:55.480 --> 0:22:00.000 in this business, people who work and people who sue. 0:22:00.000 --> 0:22:02.000 Which one you want to be? And I didn't sue, 0:22:02.080 --> 0:22:04.840 And I thought to myself, I want one day, and 0:22:04.920 --> 0:22:07.840 I hope to God this happens. I want one day 0:22:08.200 --> 0:22:10.439 to be bigger than Van Wilder, like I would like 0:22:10.560 --> 0:22:14.239 to be larger than that movie. And uh, you know, 0:22:14.920 --> 0:22:17.440 I don't. I'm I'm I'm thinking, I'm on my way. 0:22:17.440 --> 0:22:19.720 And if this movie, that my movie The Machine comes out, 0:22:19.760 --> 0:22:21.159 and if it does well, I'd like to get to 0:22:21.200 --> 0:22:23.440 that place where that's a footnote in front my story 0:22:23.440 --> 0:22:25.600 instead of the thing people. And I'd love to meet 0:22:25.640 --> 0:22:28.320 Ryan Reynolds and him not go, oh, you're the I 0:22:28.359 --> 0:22:29.600 love for him to be like, dude, I'm a fan. 0:22:29.720 --> 0:22:33.640 Yeah, because you know that's weird to me, because if 0:22:33.640 --> 0:22:35.439 it is based on you. Like you see how these 0:22:35.480 --> 0:22:38.080 people they come and they hang out with the character 0:22:38.160 --> 0:22:38.800 that is based on you. 0:22:38.800 --> 0:22:41.399 Could have been a consultant on it. Well, I'm you 0:22:41.440 --> 0:22:43.320 know what. The thing then this is, remember this is 0:22:43.320 --> 0:22:47.359 a long time ago. It's ninety seven, ninety eight. That's 0:22:47.400 --> 0:22:49.600 when we met. Yes, we met really in my life. Yeah, 0:22:49.640 --> 0:22:52.120 so we there? Yeah where were you? Then? 0:22:52.320 --> 0:22:53.960 I was in New York City. I'm from one of 0:22:54.040 --> 0:22:55.800 raised in New York City, but I live out here now. 0:22:55.960 --> 0:22:57.880 But yeah, that was the best Yeah of my life 0:22:57.920 --> 0:23:00.960 nineteenninety eight, I had to drop that album and he's 0:23:01.000 --> 0:23:01.560 my first number. 0:23:01.840 --> 0:23:05.920 So I'm not saying where were you? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, 0:23:06.680 --> 0:23:07.960 because I was in New York too. That's when the 0:23:08.000 --> 0:23:10.560 Box was big, because because if you remember the Box, yeah, yeah, 0:23:11.320 --> 0:23:14.720 Box dude. I was telling someone the other day like 0:23:14.720 --> 0:23:16.320 like I'm gonna say this, and he's gonna say, I 0:23:16.320 --> 0:23:19.399 don't know who you are, but like Cameron will DM 0:23:19.440 --> 0:23:20.639 me every now and then I ran into him and 0:23:20.760 --> 0:23:23.560 nixt game, him and Jim Jones that when I moved 0:23:23.600 --> 0:23:28.080 to New York. For me, this is like how I 0:23:28.160 --> 0:23:30.840 pros I grew up in Florida, So for us all 0:23:30.880 --> 0:23:32.919 of all of hip hop was in your car, and 0:23:32.920 --> 0:23:34.840 then when I got to New York, I hadn't really 0:23:34.880 --> 0:23:36.720 heard it, like we didn't No one drives cars there, 0:23:36.920 --> 0:23:39.320 so it's all in your in your headsets. So it's 0:23:39.320 --> 0:23:42.959 a very different hip hop for me until that summer. 0:23:43.160 --> 0:23:45.320 It was probably ninety eight ninety nine when I remember 0:23:45.400 --> 0:23:48.000 just walking around the village and hearing hip hop and 0:23:48.080 --> 0:23:50.479 other people's cars and being like, what song is that? 0:23:50.720 --> 0:23:53.040 And then going into like they saw Tower Records at 0:23:53.080 --> 0:23:56.760 the time, and being like, yo, what's the oh boy boy, 0:23:58.400 --> 0:24:00.000 and then they're like, okay, I'll get you to help you. 0:24:00.200 --> 0:24:02.959 I remember that summer so fucking that moving in New 0:24:03.000 --> 0:24:04.600 York because your first time in New York, then you 0:24:04.600 --> 0:24:09.880 hang out a gay ball dude. It all started there. 0:24:09.920 --> 0:24:11.520 I saw a dude fuck another dude in the ass. 0:24:12.480 --> 0:24:14.560 Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. This is old school, man. 0:24:15.320 --> 0:24:19.440 They don't do it like that anymore. My first night, 0:24:19.880 --> 0:24:21.960 my first is not more complicated. I gotta be honest 0:24:22.000 --> 0:24:24.000 with you. It was the first time I was ever like, 0:24:24.320 --> 0:24:26.160 I saw a dude that I think about like once 0:24:26.200 --> 0:24:29.399 a month. Oh this guy, hold on, hold on, let 0:24:29.440 --> 0:24:33.199 me explain myself. He had little tiny stars tattooed on 0:24:33.280 --> 0:24:36.880 his heels and then increasingly got bigger until he had 0:24:36.920 --> 0:24:40.320 two Dallas Cowboys on his ash cheeks. And I looked 0:24:40.320 --> 0:24:42.720 at that guy. I looked at him for an uncomfortable 0:24:42.720 --> 0:24:45.880 amount of time, just staring at that artwork, going, that's 0:24:45.920 --> 0:24:49.360 a fucking commitment. I mean, I go, I go. He's 0:24:49.359 --> 0:24:52.199 got to be like fifty six. Now, like, wait, I 0:24:52.240 --> 0:24:55.639 wonder what he does he's telling. I think about that 0:24:55.680 --> 0:24:57.920 guy a lot. Dude, we went that first night in 0:24:57.920 --> 0:25:00.560 New York. I go out, I think, are you tricked 0:25:00.560 --> 0:25:02.520 into going in a gable? Are you game? 0:25:02.880 --> 0:25:02.960 So? 0:25:03.680 --> 0:25:06.280 I didn't? No, no, no, I didn't, dude. I'm trying 0:25:06.280 --> 0:25:09.360 to sound like fifty year old Bert. The twenty five 0:25:09.400 --> 0:25:12.320 year old Bert was not very open minded. He was 0:25:12.359 --> 0:25:15.920 like he was from Tallahassee, Like I knew, I knew. 0:25:16.080 --> 0:25:17.800 I knew Cuban dudes really well because I grew up 0:25:17.800 --> 0:25:21.040 in Florida. I knew black dude's pretty good because it 0:25:21.160 --> 0:25:25.280 will family as far as like as far as like 0:25:25.960 --> 0:25:28.080 how my my open mind was was I think, I 0:25:28.119 --> 0:25:30.840 think I was a good person, but I wasn't like comfort. 0:25:30.920 --> 0:25:33.560 I wasn't like comfortable in that scenario. And so the 0:25:33.600 --> 0:25:35.720 first time we went out, I went out with this dude, 0:25:36.400 --> 0:25:38.840 this dude there was an editor for some magazine, and 0:25:38.920 --> 0:25:42.399 this chick and we lose the dude and it's me 0:25:42.440 --> 0:25:43.920 and the chick. And the first place we go is 0:25:43.920 --> 0:25:47.120 a place called mary Lous on Thirteenth and I sit 0:25:47.200 --> 0:25:48.960 down and this guy's next to me, and he's like, 0:25:50.000 --> 0:25:53.080 he's like, oh man, you're the Rolling Stone guy. I 0:25:53.119 --> 0:25:55.760 just read about you on the plane. Holy shit, I 0:25:55.760 --> 0:25:57.639 gotta buy you a drink. I think I'm gonna be 0:25:57.640 --> 0:26:00.199 famous because I was just famous in Tallahassee. I came 0:26:00.240 --> 0:26:02.199 in and I'm trying to hang out with someone and 0:26:02.240 --> 0:26:04.280 he's like okay, and I turned in the girls like 0:26:04.480 --> 0:26:06.959 I can't believe David Lee Roth knows who you are. 0:26:07.040 --> 0:26:09.960 I'm like, oh shit, fuck up, it's David Lee Roth. 0:26:10.160 --> 0:26:13.760 He yells down. He's like Harvey Able, Harvey kitesell Able Ferrara. 0:26:13.840 --> 0:26:17.400 At this bar, it is who's who's of drinking late night. 0:26:17.600 --> 0:26:19.160 And then she looks at me, she goes, let's go party. 0:26:19.200 --> 0:26:21.320 Let's go to the meatpacking district. Now I don't know 0:26:21.359 --> 0:26:24.720 what that is. And she takes me into a straight 0:26:24.800 --> 0:26:30.960 up sucking dick and fucking gay bar in the meatpacking district. 0:26:31.160 --> 0:26:37.760 And I mean, listen in fairness, meatpacking district, a meatpack 0:26:37.840 --> 0:26:41.680 But I saw, you know, it's so funny, this is okay, 0:26:41.680 --> 0:26:43.119 this is this is a little aggressive. This is a 0:26:43.119 --> 0:26:47.880 little aggressive. I saw, so I thought it'd be fucked 0:26:47.880 --> 0:26:52.040 the dude in the ass. He he'd have to be 0:26:52.080 --> 0:26:53.840 bent over, right, That's how I thought you'd do it. 0:26:54.160 --> 0:26:56.399 I saw dude sitting on a dude's lap and I 0:26:56.400 --> 0:26:58.439 couldn't understand what they were doing. And then I'm like, 0:26:58.520 --> 0:27:02.080 oh my god, they're having sex. They're living sex, just 0:27:02.119 --> 0:27:04.600 like a man and a woman. He's like and I 0:27:04.640 --> 0:27:10.040 was like, oh yeah, of course I dude. That was 0:27:10.080 --> 0:27:14.000 like I remember being like you had an awakened they're 0:27:14.000 --> 0:27:18.199 making love. That I remember that was the first my 0:27:18.200 --> 0:27:20.440 first night in New York. Dude, I was just telling 0:27:20.480 --> 0:27:22.680 someone about this. I didn't know anyone. I was living 0:27:22.680 --> 0:27:25.600 with the dude who was from the Canary Islands, but 0:27:25.640 --> 0:27:29.159 he didn't speak English. I was telling about your roommate 0:27:29.160 --> 0:27:32.960 didn't speak English. It was it was my friend. I 0:27:32.960 --> 0:27:37.440 grew up with sister's ex boyfriend and that's your roommate. Yeah, 0:27:37.440 --> 0:27:39.080 he goes, you can stay here. I get there. The 0:27:39.080 --> 0:27:50.320 first night, random, yeah, shout out to Diego, You're my 0:27:50.359 --> 0:27:52.840 first night. All we did was open a map and 0:27:52.920 --> 0:27:58.879 drink and point the places we've been to. So I 0:27:58.920 --> 0:28:01.480 was like and it was it was oh fuck yes, 0:28:01.840 --> 0:28:06.440 and it was it was. It was a studio apartment, 0:28:06.720 --> 0:28:08.520 so you had I stopped on the floor next to 0:28:08.560 --> 0:28:10.960 his bed like like like he had kicked me out. 0:28:11.119 --> 0:28:14.479 And so that next that night, that was my first night, 0:28:14.560 --> 0:28:16.679 My first night going out was with those people, and 0:28:16.720 --> 0:28:18.280 I stayed out all night. We stayed out all night, 0:28:18.359 --> 0:28:20.399 and I came home and he was at work, and 0:28:20.440 --> 0:28:22.119 so I was like, oh, that's the ticket. I just 0:28:22.119 --> 0:28:24.439 got to stay out all night. The next night, I 0:28:24.480 --> 0:28:27.040 stayed out and I was like on like park benches. 0:28:27.080 --> 0:28:28.840 That sounds worse than it is. I just stayed up 0:28:28.840 --> 0:28:30.800 all night in New York and you just hung out 0:28:30.960 --> 0:28:32.800 and just walked around, sat on a park bench, and 0:28:32.840 --> 0:28:36.240 I was like, this sucks. Next night, genius move. I 0:28:36.280 --> 0:28:38.400 get a bag of weed and I meet dudes at 0:28:38.440 --> 0:28:40.800 bars and I go, you want to get high later 0:28:40.840 --> 0:28:42.840 like when this closes, we're going high, and they're like yeah, sure, 0:28:43.960 --> 0:28:45.560 go to their place. And get high. I passed out 0:28:45.600 --> 0:28:47.320 on their couch and then be like, bro, Bro, you 0:28:47.320 --> 0:28:49.400 gotta leave. Bro, just let them fucking sleep. And then 0:28:49.400 --> 0:28:51.760 I'd wake up and I spend the night. Then I'd 0:28:51.760 --> 0:28:54.880 go there to the other place, to where Diego's place was. 0:28:55.920 --> 0:28:58.640 My second night of doing this, I meet a dude. 0:28:58.960 --> 0:29:01.680 We'd go back to his place. We smoked weed, we 0:29:01.800 --> 0:29:04.400 listened to tool, and we watched My so called Life 0:29:04.840 --> 0:29:06.720 with Claire Danes. I don't know if you remember that, no, 0:29:06.840 --> 0:29:10.480 dyl and uh, it was It's a great fucking show 0:29:10.800 --> 0:29:16.520 is And I passed out on his couch and the dude, 0:29:16.600 --> 0:29:19.240 his roommate wakes up and his roommates I just texted 0:29:19.280 --> 0:29:22.080 this guy the other day. His roommate's like Bert Kreischer. 0:29:22.560 --> 0:29:24.520 This guy John Biemer, I grew up. I grew up 0:29:24.560 --> 0:29:26.560 with and I'm like, shut up. So I had like 0:29:26.640 --> 0:29:28.800 three not homeless nights in New York and then I 0:29:29.200 --> 0:29:30.960 stayed on their couch. I moved in with John Biemer 0:29:30.960 --> 0:29:32.920 and I forget the guy's name. He was a music producer. 0:29:33.240 --> 0:29:35.600 He was he had really diverse taste of music. It 0:29:35.680 --> 0:29:37.640 was like it was like when you get really open 0:29:37.680 --> 0:29:40.400 your mind to music and you're like, because I only 0:29:40.440 --> 0:29:45.080 listened to like I was doing this. I was trying 0:29:45.080 --> 0:29:47.040 to do a timeline of like, what was my first 0:29:47.480 --> 0:29:50.240 intro to hip hop as a kid? You know, you 0:29:50.240 --> 0:29:51.720 know what I think I learned about hip hop was 0:29:51.720 --> 0:29:55.560 twenty twenty. The show The Show twenty twenty, they did 0:29:55.840 --> 0:29:59.280 a profile on break dancing was like in the eighties. Yeah, 0:29:59.320 --> 0:30:01.520 And I was trying to remember. He didn't it. It 0:30:01.600 --> 0:30:06.000 was I was trying to remember if man Tronics was 0:30:06.040 --> 0:30:11.440 before Rock sans Chante. I was not expecting that. I 0:30:12.360 --> 0:30:15.440 was not. I ran into ext san Chante on Sway Show. 0:30:15.800 --> 0:30:19.040 She was in there, and I lost my ship's rock. 0:30:19.400 --> 0:30:22.000 That's right, some queens, but I do. I watched a movie. 0:30:22.040 --> 0:30:25.160 I watched my daughter's watching a movie. I fucking started 0:30:25.160 --> 0:30:32.920 banging on the window. Showed him my tent. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:30:32.960 --> 0:30:38.640 the she didn't come out. No, no, no, no. It's 0:30:38.680 --> 0:30:40.840 always weird when you're when because I don't look like 0:30:40.840 --> 0:30:43.400 a fan of hip hop, but like, but I am, like, 0:30:44.000 --> 0:30:45.680 what is a fan of hip hop look like? Like, 0:30:45.720 --> 0:30:47.640 I don't know, I don't look like a fan of you, 0:30:47.680 --> 0:30:51.080 but I am. I know that's what your biggest thing 0:30:51.160 --> 0:30:54.520 is I ran into you when I moved to l A. 0:30:55.240 --> 0:30:59.680 This is two thousand, I'm guessing, and cash money is 0:30:59.720 --> 0:31:04.560 like the biggest fucking thing now. I was obsessed, obsessed 0:31:05.000 --> 0:31:10.000 with UH, with Juvenile, Juvenile and UH and Lil Wayne. 0:31:10.280 --> 0:31:14.880 Obsessed like I, I would argue. I mean, I would 0:31:15.000 --> 0:31:17.480 like there were lines in him. And I just got money. 0:31:17.600 --> 0:31:19.400 I had a big truck. I drove around everywhere in 0:31:19.480 --> 0:31:22.040 Jason Williams, Jersey. I thought life was it. I ran 0:31:22.080 --> 0:31:26.720 into at the White Dude, White Chocolate, White Chocolate. I 0:31:26.800 --> 0:31:31.160 ran into Juvenile and UH and Lil Wayne and and 0:31:31.240 --> 0:31:33.960 Beg in front of the Grafton Hotel and I was 0:31:34.040 --> 0:31:36.960 like and I was like, I lost my ship. And 0:31:37.280 --> 0:31:39.720 their children at the time, I think they're like eighteen, 0:31:41.160 --> 0:31:43.640 and I'm like, shit fucking and I'm reciting their lyrics 0:31:43.640 --> 0:31:46.960 back to them. I'm like, I lost my ship and 0:31:46.960 --> 0:31:48.680 I'm like in a like a college shirt. I just 0:31:48.720 --> 0:31:51.200 got done shooting and they were like, I was like, 0:31:51.240 --> 0:31:52.440 I gotta get you guys on my show. I had 0:31:52.440 --> 0:31:55.040 a TV show at the time, and they're like, oh, okay, 0:31:55.440 --> 0:32:01.400 call this guy his fucking baby's number. I'm like, yeah, dude, 0:32:01.400 --> 0:32:04.640 that was I don't look like I'm into hip hop. Yeah, 0:32:04.880 --> 0:32:07.560 you know what's crazy. I like that you said that, though, 0:32:07.680 --> 0:32:14.000 what about the look? But because Kevin Hart, I gotta 0:32:14.040 --> 0:32:17.240 give big props Kevin Hart. Okay, So I fan of 0:32:17.320 --> 0:32:19.160 the show. He's our brother. I watched him on it. 0:32:19.440 --> 0:32:24.200 Maybe not his best performance. He was, he was, he 0:32:24.320 --> 0:32:27.520 was so, he was so, he was so hungover, he 0:32:27.600 --> 0:32:31.080 was he has sunglasses on. He was talking about entrepreneurialship. 0:32:31.520 --> 0:32:33.880 But I'm gonna tell you something, Kevin harte quila is 0:32:34.320 --> 0:32:36.400 great and he had been promoting it all week. I 0:32:36.400 --> 0:32:39.840 think that's why he was. Yeah, he is a game changer. 0:32:40.360 --> 0:32:44.080 He drinks. He drinks, don't don't know he drank that night. 0:32:44.400 --> 0:32:49.480 He drank. Kevin Hart. So, Cedric and Shack did a 0:32:49.560 --> 0:32:52.600 comedy basketball comedy thing on All Star weekend. This is 0:32:52.640 --> 0:32:54.520 the year they did it. Now, I'm not saying I'm 0:32:54.560 --> 0:32:57.640 not putting disrespect on anyone like Shade anyone. When I 0:32:57.680 --> 0:32:59.640 say this, I'm just telling you what I saw as 0:32:59.640 --> 0:33:05.240 a comment is d Ray, Tommy Davison, Aery Spears, and 0:33:05.360 --> 0:33:08.160 Kevin Hart. I think and my might have forgotten one person. 0:33:08.640 --> 0:33:10.920 Everyone did what I would have done, which is it's 0:33:10.960 --> 0:33:13.960 an intimidating room that you're in an arena and it's 0:33:14.000 --> 0:33:18.080 all all your favorite NBA players. There's huge celebrities, and 0:33:18.120 --> 0:33:21.320 everyone did some crowd work and then fucked around, made 0:33:21.360 --> 0:33:23.920 it loose, like told me about me, tried to be edgy, 0:33:24.040 --> 0:33:26.200 tried to be like edgy, like you know, talk about 0:33:26.400 --> 0:33:29.320 like chicks and fucking chicks and go a little harder. 0:33:29.640 --> 0:33:31.720 Kevin Heart walked out. I'm telling you why I say 0:33:31.720 --> 0:33:35.360 this changed my career. Kevin Heart walked out and said 0:33:35.400 --> 0:33:37.920 I have two kids, and the place was like yeah, 0:33:38.000 --> 0:33:42.880 and I went, oh, fuck in my head, I went yeah, yeah, yo, 0:33:43.040 --> 0:33:46.080 oh you're you're skipping all the lines and you're talking 0:33:46.080 --> 0:33:50.120 about some real shit that everyone deal, real relatable. He 0:33:50.160 --> 0:33:52.719 talked about his kids and it was so goddamn funny, 0:33:52.920 --> 0:33:54.960 and I thought, here, I am trying to be edgy 0:33:55.000 --> 0:33:57.120 as shit, hoping that comics in the back of the 0:33:57.200 --> 0:33:59.000 room are like, yeah, did you hear the ship Burke 0:33:59.000 --> 0:34:00.920 got away with last night when I was like, I 0:34:00.960 --> 0:34:04.239 should just talk literally about what is going on in 0:34:04.280 --> 0:34:06.480 my life because I guarantee there's other people and I'm 0:34:07.000 --> 0:34:09.640 it is when you when I when you say that 0:34:09.680 --> 0:34:11.319 you're a fan of mine. I've been a fan of 0:34:11.320 --> 0:34:13.799 yours for a very long time, so like that is 0:34:13.840 --> 0:34:15.440 the biggest compliment I could ever get. 0:34:15.520 --> 0:34:16.680 But like, like you know, you know, I'm gonna be 0:34:16.719 --> 0:34:18.880 honest with you. Like a lot of times I'll be 0:34:18.880 --> 0:34:20.880 in airports and a person will come up to me 0:34:21.360 --> 0:34:23.480 and they'll just start a conversation with me. They won't 0:34:23.480 --> 0:34:26.279 say hi, because they really watched me so much they 0:34:26.360 --> 0:34:29.719 think they actually know me, And then here I am 0:34:29.800 --> 0:34:30.399 judging them. 0:34:30.960 --> 0:34:32.719 But that's what I'm doing right now. 0:34:34.000 --> 0:34:35.799 I've never met you before, but I feel like I 0:34:35.840 --> 0:34:37.920 know you because I watch your material so much. I 0:34:37.920 --> 0:34:41.520 feel like if Leanne your wife was to walk in being. 0:34:42.880 --> 0:34:46.760 What is this my God? And I'll be so happy. 0:34:46.800 --> 0:34:49.200 But here it is fans do that to me. 0:34:49.200 --> 0:34:51.600 All the time, and so when I'm faning now, I 0:34:51.680 --> 0:34:53.879 love this, like like you have no idea. My whole crew, 0:34:54.239 --> 0:34:56.560 all of these motherfuckers wanted to drink so early, and 0:34:56.600 --> 0:34:59.200 I made everyone stop, and it's like perk from it. 0:35:00.080 --> 0:35:03.120 I don't know, let's wait till he gets here. Did 0:35:03.200 --> 0:35:06.400 we drink together? Because you just because I don't know 0:35:06.440 --> 0:35:09.960 if you know that's how much you mean to the 0:35:09.960 --> 0:35:13.600 people in the community during the pandemic, The Comedian's. 0:35:13.160 --> 0:35:18.440 Safe World, Oh and Nice and the DJ. 0:35:19.320 --> 0:35:22.920 Because I kid you not like I was telling Eric. 0:35:22.960 --> 0:35:27.239 I was telling Eric, I said, it's crazy about you 0:35:27.400 --> 0:35:29.960 is I discovered your comedy and I found that you 0:35:30.000 --> 0:35:30.719 was a drinking. 0:35:30.520 --> 0:35:33.600 Legend later, like I was in love with What's the 0:35:33.640 --> 0:35:37.080 one two punch? But yeah, but because you know, sometimes 0:35:37.080 --> 0:35:38.799 you know, you know, you know I found I found 0:35:38.840 --> 0:35:40.920 this show because of you guys drinking. I know, I 0:35:40.960 --> 0:35:45.640 know it away. Can I tell you Drake Tamps is 0:35:45.680 --> 0:35:52.279 the best fucking name for a podcast ever, by the way, 0:35:52.560 --> 0:35:55.719 the fact that you get people like I think, I mean, 0:35:56.320 --> 0:35:59.640 like Puffy is a legend, but Puffy Drunk is my 0:35:59.640 --> 0:36:03.440 favorite puppy. Jeffrey, did you see him make a Jeffrey 0:36:03.480 --> 0:36:06.279 he put we had had a childice. We had a 0:36:06.320 --> 0:36:08.120 childice on the We had a chalice on the table. 0:36:08.160 --> 0:36:10.720 So what it was We had this drink called tiger Bone, 0:36:10.760 --> 0:36:11.719 which is very hard. 0:36:12.040 --> 0:36:13.640 We don't recommend. It's not supposed to be it's not 0:36:13.680 --> 0:36:15.440 supposed to be humanly consumed. 0:36:15.680 --> 0:36:18.120 But we was trying to do something and were trying 0:36:18.160 --> 0:36:19.640 to get our guests loose, So we'll give him a 0:36:19.680 --> 0:36:22.040 shout of tager bone. They start telling everything about hey 0:36:22.040 --> 0:36:25.400 man snuffed my mother one day? 0:36:25.440 --> 0:36:28.439 What are you doing? But they did the job. 0:36:28.719 --> 0:36:31.319 So we had just made a deal with Paul, right, 0:36:31.520 --> 0:36:34.640 we just made the deal. But what anglesn and dry 0:36:34.840 --> 0:36:41.399 or so I'm breakfast club had just. 0:36:41.400 --> 0:36:44.600 Had baby and baby walked out that viral moment and 0:36:44.640 --> 0:36:47.440 he walked out. I want one of those moments. So 0:36:47.520 --> 0:36:51.400 I looked at I wanted one of those moments. So 0:36:51.440 --> 0:36:54.320 I looked at those moments. You can't pick those moments. 0:36:54.400 --> 0:36:58.359 You set that moment. I didn't tax you set that 0:36:58.480 --> 0:36:59.640 up there with Jeffrey. 0:37:00.080 --> 0:37:05.560 Oh no, no, I'm going So I look and I 0:37:05.600 --> 0:37:11.280 look at buff and I say, does j Lo fart 0:37:11.440 --> 0:37:17.080 smell like cherries? He's a black guy. His face got 0:37:17.080 --> 0:37:20.120 so red because he knows I ain't. 0:37:20.200 --> 0:37:23.600 This is my daddy. He's looking like this, he said, 0:37:24.080 --> 0:37:26.680 he said, is this is what? This the show? We 0:37:26.840 --> 0:37:31.800 just wore? Like the asshole? Is that the check and clean? 0:37:35.160 --> 0:37:41.960 This very moment Daddy takes me off, He take and 0:37:42.000 --> 0:37:43.799 I'm like, yo, I just need this moment. I don't care. 0:37:43.880 --> 0:37:46.200 Like if he gonna swing, he's gonna swing, but we're 0:37:46.200 --> 0:37:49.200 gonna have the best and he's gonna stay because we signed. 0:37:49.840 --> 0:37:55.720 So it's a foul ship, by the way, you know that. 0:37:55.840 --> 0:37:58.440 Well, he took off his glasses and I looked at 0:37:58.480 --> 0:38:00.120 him out of the eye at that very moment, and 0:38:00.160 --> 0:38:02.600 I was like, he's either gonna snuff me. 0:38:03.719 --> 0:38:06.759 And then he said I get it. Yeah, and then 0:38:06.760 --> 0:38:08.960 he put his glasses back on. He said I get it, 0:38:09.120 --> 0:38:11.360 and he took the chalice. That's what happened, and he 0:38:11.400 --> 0:38:13.040 to the child, he said, Okay, y'all want to drink 0:38:13.040 --> 0:38:15.680 with me, Well, we're gonna drink. I love when he drinks, 0:38:15.719 --> 0:38:17.680 and I want to get drunk with him so bad 0:38:17.400 --> 0:38:21.040 that he changes, he's in different person. Drink. Listen, listen. 0:38:21.080 --> 0:38:23.200 He took one cup. But by the way, I'm gonna 0:38:23.200 --> 0:38:25.040 tell you his cheekole. He took one cup. 0:38:26.239 --> 0:38:32.319 No, no, no, I mean that liquid I his whole time, 0:38:33.400 --> 0:38:33.920 tell tomorrow. 0:38:33.960 --> 0:38:36.640 So he takes this one chalice and he puts tiger 0:38:36.680 --> 0:38:37.080 bone and. 0:38:37.080 --> 0:38:39.560 We had all had the bottle and every he put 0:38:39.640 --> 0:38:42.799 everything in it and everything jealous, and then he put 0:38:42.800 --> 0:38:43.440 it in one. 0:38:43.239 --> 0:38:44.960 Glass and then he made all him saying, we're all 0:38:45.040 --> 0:38:48.719 drink first. I drank, he drank first. I'm not gonna lie. 0:38:48.760 --> 0:38:50.759 He drink first, and then when he gave it to me, 0:38:50.840 --> 0:38:52.840 I literally felt like I drank death. But I was 0:38:52.840 --> 0:38:55.759 trying to act hard. I was like, drink and we 0:38:55.840 --> 0:38:59.320 all that was disgusting. It was death. It was a cancer. 0:39:00.280 --> 0:39:02.080 But I'm gonna tell you something. I'm gonna tell you something. 0:39:02.680 --> 0:39:04.600 I don't think a lot of people when they come 0:39:04.600 --> 0:39:07.759 on this show that it's the alcohol to blame. No. 0:39:07.840 --> 0:39:10.200 I think these people want to release it anyway. They 0:39:10.239 --> 0:39:13.040 want to say things anyway. You you make a very 0:39:13.600 --> 0:39:18.920 you make a very homey podcast, like like, uh, I 0:39:19.000 --> 0:39:22.040 remember the first few episodes I watched. I think I 0:39:22.040 --> 0:39:28.640 think they were all Jada kiss been on like eighteen 0:39:29.680 --> 0:39:32.720 we don't have money at some point, and and uh 0:39:32.960 --> 0:39:40.160 and to the fucking can't shout the locks talking about stabbing, 0:39:40.200 --> 0:39:45.800 Mike Tyson is, Oh yeah, that's when. That's the funniest no, 0:39:45.960 --> 0:39:52.000 the one with when he goes, yeah, if someone has 0:39:52.000 --> 0:39:57.120 to poke this, I'm fucking I mean, you know, I've 0:39:57.120 --> 0:39:59.440 been offered to do Mike Tyson's podcast. 0:39:59.080 --> 0:40:04.920 And he's unaggressively intimidated, like he's not trying to intimidate 0:40:05.000 --> 0:40:08.240 you listen, this is this is this is the friends. 0:40:08.280 --> 0:40:10.839 My one of my toughest friend and he's a tough guy. 0:40:11.640 --> 0:40:14.359 A f N gave Mike Tyson a pre roll. Mike 0:40:14.400 --> 0:40:16.160 Tyson took this ship, put in his mouth and gave 0:40:16.280 --> 0:40:16.960 e f N back to. 0:40:16.960 --> 0:40:19.160 Pre roll, give back the empty ship e f and 0:40:19.239 --> 0:40:22.600 held it. He's intense. 0:40:22.960 --> 0:40:24.800 He's a nice guy. 0:40:25.560 --> 0:40:27.600 Never seen them nothing, the shrooms, he's like. 0:40:27.960 --> 0:40:30.360 We did a live podcast with him in Vegas, the 0:40:30.480 --> 0:40:32.759 audience and I don't do shooms and nothing. And then 0:40:32.880 --> 0:40:35.160 he was trying to get it before and then we're 0:40:35.239 --> 0:40:37.319 doing the pine. He takes the chocolate. He goes and 0:40:37.360 --> 0:40:38.960 he goes. I said, it's my birthday and he goes, 0:40:39.000 --> 0:40:39.640 He'll take a thing. 0:40:39.680 --> 0:40:43.960 I was like, no, no, ship, I can't. I gotta I 0:40:44.000 --> 0:40:47.480 gotta measure myself around because because I'll take it, I'll 0:40:47.480 --> 0:40:50.080 take it. I don't like I'll take it. There should 0:40:50.080 --> 0:40:52.359 be I don't know, intimidated. I don't know. I can 0:40:52.360 --> 0:40:53.719 you at his stuf out in cases is a bad 0:40:53.760 --> 0:40:55.920 thing there saying there should be a gang here in 0:40:56.000 --> 0:41:01.759 Miami called the show Pound. Oh yeah, let's still yeah, okay, cool, cool, 0:41:01.800 --> 0:41:04.920 everybody continue, you guys. 0:41:03.920 --> 0:41:04.520 Still help me and. 0:41:06.080 --> 0:41:17.640 Cool, let me know if you can donate, and you 0:41:17.760 --> 0:41:23.600 got to street from home base a little so so 0:41:23.640 --> 0:41:29.479 tell us yourself. We need no. No, I can't see. 0:41:30.080 --> 0:41:31.719 I don't say no. I don't say no a lot, 0:41:32.280 --> 0:41:36.879 so like so like we get it wet. I met them. 0:41:36.920 --> 0:41:39.960 I met them on DJ Lass's show. Shout out, shout 0:41:40.000 --> 0:41:42.640 out to DJ Last, he's the best. And then and 0:41:42.640 --> 0:41:45.319 then I invited them. I had just seen them on like, wait, 0:41:45.360 --> 0:41:46.640 you met the group because they also. 0:41:46.560 --> 0:41:49.520 Had a group Red Eyes and all these guys. 0:41:49.600 --> 0:41:52.520 Yeah, right, my show. And then a bunch of dudes 0:41:52.520 --> 0:41:54.520 came to my show and then like, hey, we're going 0:41:54.560 --> 0:41:57.400 out just just to the in Coconut Grove to one 0:41:57.440 --> 0:41:59.839 of the clubs. They're like coming out with us. I'm 0:41:59.880 --> 0:42:01.799 not not the guy to say no. And that's I 0:42:01.800 --> 0:42:04.480 think that's my problem in life. But was we had 0:42:04.480 --> 0:42:06.280 a great time. They were they were very sweet gentlemen. 0:42:06.800 --> 0:42:13.360 Uh shout out the DJ Lass the uh. But but 0:42:13.360 --> 0:42:16.040 but guys like Mike Tyson, I can't say no. And 0:42:16.080 --> 0:42:19.240 so when I if I was with him, the guys 0:42:19.239 --> 0:42:21.560 like Puffy like that. I don't say no to ship. 0:42:21.640 --> 0:42:24.920 And so when when weird Ship is on the table, 0:42:24.960 --> 0:42:26.960 I said no, to cocaine five times the other day, 0:42:27.080 --> 0:42:30.680 and I was so proud of myself. I don't say 0:42:30.719 --> 0:42:33.520 no to I don't like growing up in Florida is 0:42:33.640 --> 0:42:35.959 rude to say no to drugs like I mean, I'm 0:42:35.880 --> 0:42:37.200 in Miami. I know the same thing. 0:42:37.719 --> 0:42:40.359 Someone offers you to avoid it, You're like, whoa, I'm 0:42:40.360 --> 0:42:40.880 a superhero. 0:42:41.040 --> 0:42:42.160 You you get home at the end of the night. 0:42:42.360 --> 0:42:44.960 I've never did can't okay, you got you put the 0:42:44.960 --> 0:42:48.719 blank over and of yeah, I don't. I uh. I 0:42:48.719 --> 0:42:51.440 said no to coke a lot recently, but it's just 0:42:51.480 --> 0:42:53.200 because I don't. I know that how I feel the 0:42:53.239 --> 0:42:56.840 next day, and it's just fuck. I mean, here's the problem. 0:42:56.880 --> 0:43:00.680 Coke really delivers, like it really I I'm afraid of. 0:43:00.680 --> 0:43:02.000 That's what I never did. Never did it. 0:43:02.040 --> 0:43:04.600 No, I never did because I knew I would like it. No, No, 0:43:04.600 --> 0:43:05.640 I knew I was around. 0:43:05.400 --> 0:43:05.719 People that. 0:43:07.320 --> 0:43:09.319 I'm ready to over that. Oh my god, hold you 0:43:09.400 --> 0:43:18.600 forty seven forty eight come on, And I got. 0:43:18.280 --> 0:43:21.000 I got toddlers at the grip O, the New Ones. 0:43:21.080 --> 0:43:22.360 We got toddlers. Toddlers. 0:43:22.360 --> 0:43:24.719 They're two and the three well about to be five, 0:43:24.760 --> 0:43:26.680 about to be four, actually about to be five, about 0:43:26.719 --> 0:43:28.080 to be three. 0:43:28.400 --> 0:43:30.480 I remember those days. That's the best time in your life. 0:43:30.560 --> 0:43:37.920 Mine are eighteen and sixteen. Sucks. It sucks. Fucking just 0:43:38.000 --> 0:43:42.480 dead at our house, just no life, just some old lady. 0:43:42.960 --> 0:43:47.200 This is what retirement's going to be. Lack. This is 0:43:47.200 --> 0:43:53.359 your wife love right get Yeah, No, my wife's never done. 0:43:53.440 --> 0:43:54.759 She told me. I told her to talk about this 0:43:54.840 --> 0:43:59.680 on on on Razzle dazzle. She told my kids I 0:43:59.719 --> 0:44:02.839 did coke yeah, and did not consult me like they 0:44:02.840 --> 0:44:04.239 were like, have you guys ever done drugs? And my 0:44:04.280 --> 0:44:07.040 wife goes, I smoked weed a couple of times, didn't 0:44:07.080 --> 0:44:08.520 like it. I didn't like it very much, made me 0:44:08.560 --> 0:44:10.520 throw up. Your daddy's done cocaine. And I goes, what 0:44:10.640 --> 0:44:14.400 the fuck? I go, hey, that's my choice to tell you. 0:44:14.400 --> 0:44:17.440 Don't get to tell them, like what the fuck? She's like, 0:44:17.480 --> 0:44:19.200 you gotta be honest with them. Girls, go tell them, 0:44:19.200 --> 0:44:22.520 don't tailor. And my daughters are like you, like now 0:44:22.520 --> 0:44:24.040 they look at me. You did cocaine, dad, And I 0:44:24.080 --> 0:44:28.839 was like, yeah, once yesterday. I didn't like it very much, 0:44:29.120 --> 0:44:31.719 made me throw up. Never did it again. And she's like, 0:44:31.719 --> 0:44:34.160 that's a lot. Yourdadd had done cocaine a lot and 0:44:34.200 --> 0:44:35.960 then I was like, okay, call your mom lost for Virginia. 0:44:36.080 --> 0:44:38.440 She was thirteen, tell me that story. Yeah, she was 0:44:38.440 --> 0:44:43.920 a war there we go e ruin. Yeah, and then 0:44:43.960 --> 0:44:46.880 she goes, first of all, I was almost fourteen, and 0:44:46.920 --> 0:44:48.480 sh it ain't nothing to do in my hometown but 0:44:48.560 --> 0:44:50.839 fuck fight and race. I'm like, who did I marry 0:44:50.920 --> 0:44:55.359 Ricky Bobby? Fucking that woman? If you eat it, if 0:44:55.360 --> 0:45:00.200 you roses your last Ricky Bobby? She uh, yeah, she's 0:45:00.200 --> 0:45:03.759 a fuck. You instinctively call her redneck, but I don't 0:45:03.800 --> 0:45:07.160 think she's a redneck, right, No, she is. I mean 0:45:07.719 --> 0:45:14.960 her hometown, her hometowns. Kiss of cousins, buddy, No, no, no, 0:45:15.760 --> 0:45:18.560 they have I'm not even fucking around. They have a 0:45:18.680 --> 0:45:23.440 saying in their hometown ship they can but they ain't blood. 0:45:25.280 --> 0:45:29.480 They can, but they ain't blood, meaning they can fuck. 0:45:30.320 --> 0:45:33.399 They're related, they can fuck. It's not like their brother 0:45:33.440 --> 0:45:38.160 and sister they can. She has kids too. Really, I 0:45:38.160 --> 0:45:40.960 shouldn't even go to we were a family union. We 0:45:41.000 --> 0:45:43.480 met two people. They two people that were related that 0:45:43.520 --> 0:45:46.000 were married, and I went, I looved to me. He goes, 0:45:46.120 --> 0:45:48.120 how does that happen? And then goes, well, you can't 0:45:48.120 --> 0:45:49.440 pick a fall in love with. I was like, no, 0:45:49.480 --> 0:45:54.759 you're fucking you want one hundred percent a hundred percent. 0:45:55.080 --> 0:45:57.879 So talk about you're telling me that they knew they 0:45:58.000 --> 0:46:00.399 was cousins and they can suit it. I'm man, I'm 0:46:00.400 --> 0:46:02.239 gonna get in trouble. I'm gonna get in trouble because 0:46:02.360 --> 0:46:04.439 I'm gonna have to call my wife right now, my wife. 0:46:04.440 --> 0:46:07.880 I'm okay, all right, Just everyone be clear mark this moment. 0:46:08.000 --> 0:46:09.960 If Leanne wants is taken out, will take it out. 0:46:10.280 --> 0:46:13.000 She was at a family reunion and saw her boyfriend 0:46:13.040 --> 0:46:15.399 when she was in high school and was like, shit 0:46:15.520 --> 0:46:22.759 you and he's like, oh, shit you. This is hang 0:46:22.800 --> 0:46:25.880 on now. By the way, if you're in small town America, 0:46:26.239 --> 0:46:29.239 this shit had like when like twelve hundred people. Of 0:46:29.320 --> 0:46:32.000 course somehow you're gonna be realated they weren't. And her 0:46:32.080 --> 0:46:34.120 dad said to her, oh, you can't, but you ain't blood. 0:46:34.400 --> 0:46:35.960 And Leanne's like, oh, I don't give a fuck. I'm 0:46:35.960 --> 0:46:38.560 out Like she didn't she they were just dating or whatever. 0:46:38.560 --> 0:46:42.000 They're their children that I met, the two that were related. 0:46:42.239 --> 0:46:44.040 They go, I go, she goes, she goes, Oh they can't, 0:46:44.040 --> 0:46:45.760 but they ain't blood. I met their kid. They fucking 0:46:45.800 --> 0:46:50.520 blood like they blood. This is a window licking nitty 0:46:50.800 --> 0:46:53.800 like just the dumbest kid you've ever met. They look, 0:46:53.880 --> 0:47:03.160 they shook night blood they blood. It's crazy, it's crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:47:03.160 --> 0:47:05.440 it's a small town. Like a small town. Our marriage 0:47:05.800 --> 0:47:07.680 I swear to God. I swear to God on our 0:47:07.680 --> 0:47:10.040 marriage license. I won't say the names. I know everyone 0:47:10.080 --> 0:47:12.400 be upset if I say this town is you can't know? 0:47:12.560 --> 0:47:14.640 It said, uh, are you blood relatives? It was the 0:47:14.640 --> 0:47:16.520 third question, very question, And I said the lady, what 0:47:16.560 --> 0:47:19.759 do I put for three? She goes, well, is you? 0:47:20.600 --> 0:47:24.719 I go, I don't think we is not right name 0:47:24.800 --> 0:47:28.000 that means yeah, yeah, it's a it's a small town 0:47:28.320 --> 0:47:30.480 in Georgia. And there's a lot of them. I met, 0:47:30.640 --> 0:47:33.799 Uh you know Country Wayne. Yes, Country Wayne. Country Wayne 0:47:33.840 --> 0:47:35.600 is from a small town like that. And I told 0:47:35.640 --> 0:47:39.160 he hears those stories and he goes his guys, no 0:47:39.239 --> 0:47:43.520 country way cause you ready come out you caught no, no. 0:47:43.680 --> 0:47:46.000 But they're from like same small towns where like you 0:47:46.040 --> 0:47:49.120 don't no one has houses you have like the house 0:47:49.160 --> 0:47:52.040 that they was at in America. In Georgia. Oh this 0:47:52.080 --> 0:47:55.840 is Georgia, a small town town. Ov Yeah, in small 0:47:55.880 --> 0:47:58.920 town in Georgia. I mean she was embarrassed when we 0:47:58.920 --> 0:48:01.239 first started dating because I came from Tampa. My dad 0:48:01.280 --> 0:48:03.160 was a lawyer, my mom was a teacher. I'm not 0:48:03.200 --> 0:48:05.960 saying we didn't. We definitely had white privilege, but not 0:48:06.000 --> 0:48:10.000 like rich people, but like we I didn't want for anything, 0:48:10.040 --> 0:48:11.759 or at least I didn't know I won before it. 0:48:12.200 --> 0:48:16.040 And so when when I first went to her house, 0:48:16.080 --> 0:48:19.239 she was like, I'm nervous, You're not gonna like my 0:48:19.600 --> 0:48:22.720 like it's not like your family, and I was like okay. 0:48:22.960 --> 0:48:26.799 And her dad was living in a convenience store in 0:48:26.840 --> 0:48:31.520 the freezer, like lived built he had built off Lindsay 0:48:31.520 --> 0:48:33.719 had killed me because I'm not saying this right. He 0:48:33.760 --> 0:48:37.040 had built the bedroom using with part of the in 0:48:37.080 --> 0:48:38.920 the back of the in the back of the comedian store. 0:48:39.280 --> 0:48:42.399 And at first I was like like yeah, like like yeah, 0:48:42.680 --> 0:48:44.919 but it was like attached to the freezer. It's cold 0:48:44.960 --> 0:48:49.480 as fucking shit. No windows. If you want to talk 0:48:49.520 --> 0:48:51.160 about a guy who likes get drunk to pass out, 0:48:51.440 --> 0:48:55.160 pass out in a fucking comedience store freezer, dude, and 0:48:55.200 --> 0:48:56.920 I wait to talk about convenience. I'd wake up that 0:48:56.920 --> 0:48:59.520 the middle of the night and I just go like, oh, 0:48:59.640 --> 0:49:03.120 Reese's peanut butter cups, getting sick on those. I'm drinking 0:49:03.160 --> 0:49:05.719 tall boys. I loved it. You'd wake up, come out 0:49:05.760 --> 0:49:08.719 in the morning. Small town in Georgia. Everyone shows up 0:49:08.880 --> 0:49:11.600 and has their biscuits and coffee at the convenience store. 0:49:11.760 --> 0:49:14.120 And it was like you were holding court. It was all. 0:49:14.239 --> 0:49:16.720 I loved it. I got bummed when he sold that place. 0:49:17.080 --> 0:49:18.800 But yeah, so he owned the convenience you owned the 0:49:18.800 --> 0:49:22.240 commedian store. Yeah, I'm sorry. See that's where I speak. 0:49:22.960 --> 0:49:26.359 I don't That's how you noticed some good whiskey. I 0:49:26.440 --> 0:49:28.040 just burped and I wanted to stip it back in. 0:49:29.120 --> 0:49:30.759 It took a shot after you. I wanted to. I 0:49:30.800 --> 0:49:32.719 wanted to get it to go back and really and 0:49:32.760 --> 0:49:35.799 it smells you. You don't want that, you don't want none. 0:49:35.760 --> 0:49:40.399 I'm good, I'll get it. My I'm good. Mamahuana. Gotta 0:49:40.440 --> 0:49:43.360 try this? Is that? Ma wana? Mamajuana? Did they make that? 0:49:43.400 --> 0:49:47.080 In the tub? And kindle? I tell you, growing U 0:49:47.920 --> 0:49:49.759 growing up in Florida, I feel like I feel like 0:49:49.840 --> 0:49:52.480 I like, I feel like it's my city, Like even 0:49:52.600 --> 0:49:57.239 Miami is not my city at all. Tallahassee and then 0:49:57.280 --> 0:49:58.759 and then I come down to Miami all the time, 0:49:58.880 --> 0:50:02.480 and I mean you and stand up in Miami. Miami, dude, 0:50:02.560 --> 0:50:04.560 you did you ever go to the Miami in prov Yes, 0:50:04.600 --> 0:50:07.319 I have. Have you got a new one in Durrell. No, 0:50:07.360 --> 0:50:09.040 I don't care. I don't do uh yeah, I don't. 0:50:09.120 --> 0:50:17.880 I just do arenas now the uh we'll go have 0:50:17.920 --> 0:50:21.640 a drink there or something. Yes, No, dude, talking about 0:50:22.080 --> 0:50:26.960 can you when when we used to do I've told 0:50:27.000 --> 0:50:28.880 the story before it to stop me if you've heard it. Okay, 0:50:28.920 --> 0:50:31.440 But so the Miami in prov was was crazy, Like 0:50:31.480 --> 0:50:32.000 there were. 0:50:31.840 --> 0:50:33.959 Towns in the grove back in back in Coconut Grove 0:50:34.120 --> 0:50:34.720 and underground. 0:50:34.800 --> 0:50:36.719 You there were times where you would do stand up 0:50:36.800 --> 0:50:40.200 and not eighty percent of the room did not speak English, 0:50:40.880 --> 0:50:44.680 eighty percent of the room and cocaine cowboys yes, no, no, no, no, 0:50:44.680 --> 0:50:47.600 no, no no. This is two thousand, two thousand and four. 0:50:47.640 --> 0:50:49.000 I don't even know if it was a round back then. 0:50:49.040 --> 0:50:51.080 Oh no, no, I don't think so okay. And so 0:50:52.000 --> 0:50:56.360 I one time go on stage, I'm headlining and the 0:50:56.840 --> 0:51:00.239 girl in front of me comes off. She's on and 0:51:00.280 --> 0:51:03.120 she's like, we have two hecklers in the front wants 0:51:03.160 --> 0:51:06.240 the hammer removed the features on. I go to the manager. 0:51:06.480 --> 0:51:08.920 I go, hey, there's two hecklers or mover, can you 0:51:08.920 --> 0:51:11.839 move them? And she says He goes, I think they're 0:51:11.880 --> 0:51:16.640 gang members, so I think I should let him stay, 0:51:17.560 --> 0:51:19.399 and I go but they're ruining this show, and he goes, see, 0:51:19.400 --> 0:51:22.200 I'm pretty sure they have weapons on them, so like, hey, 0:51:22.200 --> 0:51:24.600 don't talk with them, and I'm like okay. So I 0:51:24.680 --> 0:51:28.000 go on stage. One dude just regular looking black dude, 0:51:28.120 --> 0:51:30.359 like a notohing special with his hair. Other dude, light skin, 0:51:30.440 --> 0:51:35.040 black dude, tattoos on his face, dreads and he say toatoos, toatoos, 0:51:35.040 --> 0:51:43.799 I say it differently to choose the dark skin dudes. 0:51:43.880 --> 0:51:45.879 Name's Ray. And by the way, you got you got 0:51:45.920 --> 0:51:47.680 the first name makes this because I think he I 0:51:47.680 --> 0:51:50.480 think he he did some stuff for bang Bus. I 0:51:50.480 --> 0:51:53.279 think if I remember, yeah, someone might know this guy. 0:51:53.520 --> 0:51:58.439 I mean, yeah, that's he's Cuban. That's Cuban, the guy 0:51:58.480 --> 0:51:59.560 right that did the bang book the. 0:51:59.560 --> 0:52:02.359 Porns by Skinny do Skinny do hold on? Hold on 0:52:02.520 --> 0:52:05.560 so we might have Okay, Now, Ray, I maybe look, 0:52:05.560 --> 0:52:08.200 I tell this story out of school. This isn't you 0:52:08.239 --> 0:52:11.319 that's totally cool. But this is two thousand and four, 0:52:11.640 --> 0:52:14.399 two thousand and six right around then. So I start 0:52:14.440 --> 0:52:15.919 I do this thing. There's things you do a stand 0:52:15.960 --> 0:52:18.520 up where you ask people the set up to your joke. 0:52:18.880 --> 0:52:21.200 So I go, uh, you go to eating pussy. I 0:52:21.280 --> 0:52:23.400 already have a good pussy eating joke. So then I 0:52:23.480 --> 0:52:25.839 get you to say your thing. I said to Ray, 0:52:25.880 --> 0:52:27.719 I said, you go to eating pussy. He goes, you 0:52:27.719 --> 0:52:29.880 know you do? I said what, And he goes, you 0:52:29.880 --> 0:52:31.440 put your lips real close to a Clinton You go 0:52:33.000 --> 0:52:34.960 And so then now he said something silly, So I 0:52:35.000 --> 0:52:36.319 get to make a joke out of that. And then 0:52:36.360 --> 0:52:37.520 I go, no, Ray, what I do is I put 0:52:37.520 --> 0:52:40.359 my lips around entirely and go oh and so now 0:52:40.360 --> 0:52:42.239 we've said two jokes, right, So it's a way to 0:52:42.239 --> 0:52:44.200 deal with Ackler. It said cheat code. It's not the 0:52:44.200 --> 0:52:46.879 best comedy, but I do that and like confusing them, 0:52:47.000 --> 0:52:48.560 it diffuses them. It lets them be a part of 0:52:48.560 --> 0:52:52.759 the show. So I do that for like, for like 0:52:53.239 --> 0:52:55.439 twenty nine minutes, and I realized, I haven't really told 0:52:55.440 --> 0:52:57.759 a joke. Now I've told a bunch of jokes, but 0:52:57.840 --> 0:52:59.759 you handled it in the heckless I'm handling the heavy. Yes, 0:53:00.560 --> 0:53:02.640 and So I had a joke at the time about 0:53:02.840 --> 0:53:06.160 black dudes cocks. Uh, you think black is a swimming 0:53:06.239 --> 0:53:08.480 color until you see a black dude's cock. You're like, well, 0:53:08.480 --> 0:53:10.520 shouldn't be the white ones that looks big, like a 0:53:10.600 --> 0:53:12.799 lighthouse in the fog or a flashlight in a haunted house. 0:53:12.800 --> 0:53:15.200 What are you kids doing in here? So I told that. 0:53:15.800 --> 0:53:19.839 I just told that, yeah, yeah, yeah, And if there's 0:53:19.840 --> 0:53:21.719 a black take, I go, your repsite's a white guy 0:53:21.719 --> 0:53:22.880 and he goes, no, I go, you should do it. 0:53:22.880 --> 0:53:25.959 It's like getting your ears pierced. You feel a little prick, 0:53:25.960 --> 0:53:28.520 and it's over and so and so. Like I just 0:53:28.560 --> 0:53:30.400 it was all CrowdWork stuff that you have in your pocket. 0:53:30.719 --> 0:53:32.719 So I told that already. So I turned to the 0:53:32.719 --> 0:53:34.920 other side of the audience. I realized, I don't really 0:53:35.000 --> 0:53:37.359 totally joke. I've just been fucking with these guys. And 0:53:37.480 --> 0:53:40.160 Ray jumps up on stage and he goes the Gang Membo, 0:53:40.400 --> 0:53:44.359 the Bang Brothers. I think, I'm look, I'm sorry, Ray, 0:53:44.400 --> 0:53:46.920 if it's not you, I'm sorry, and he goes, this 0:53:46.960 --> 0:53:49.799 is a real motherfucker, and the room's like, yeah, now 0:53:49.840 --> 0:53:52.080 he's on stage with me, and he goes, you want 0:53:52.120 --> 0:53:54.160 to know what real motherfucker's getting the three zero five 0:53:54.520 --> 0:53:56.720 and everyone's like and I'm like, please, don't stay stabbed. 0:53:58.520 --> 0:54:01.120 And he takes his pants off and he shows his 0:54:01.120 --> 0:54:04.040 dick and his dick is tremendous. It's a nice so 0:54:04.160 --> 0:54:07.080 it's it's it's there, it's there, And now there's two 0:54:07.120 --> 0:54:09.200 hundred and fifty people going, holy funk. We're staring at 0:54:09.200 --> 0:54:11.600 the dude's dick that is and it's big, and they're 0:54:11.600 --> 0:54:14.319 like and it's like kind of ready, like everyone's like, 0:54:14.360 --> 0:54:16.560 wull shit. So I go, hey, Ray, I'm gonna give 0:54:16.560 --> 0:54:18.759 you a heads up. They're calling the cops right now. 0:54:19.160 --> 0:54:20.840 I go hire you. I would leave. I would. I 0:54:20.840 --> 0:54:24.120 would definitely leave, but thank you so much for the respect. 0:54:24.400 --> 0:54:27.040 And he starts going show your ship. So and I'm like, 0:54:27.080 --> 0:54:30.680 I'm definitely not not after that, not after that. Before that, 0:54:30.840 --> 0:54:33.480 I would have, but not after I've seen that thing. Jesus, 0:54:33.520 --> 0:54:37.359 I'm calling j Lo and ice Cube. So different kind 0:54:37.360 --> 0:54:40.200 of story. So, so yeah, is this a different type 0:54:40.239 --> 0:54:43.799 of during tears Jada guess will hear this and be 0:54:43.880 --> 0:54:48.800 like what? So I have gage it so so so 0:54:48.800 --> 0:54:51.320 so reay gets off stage and he goes good looking 0:54:51.360 --> 0:54:53.120 out and he goes to the bar, now raised with 0:54:53.200 --> 0:54:56.000 a light skin, due with dreads, with tattoos on his face. 0:54:56.840 --> 0:54:59.560 And I said, uh, I gotta be dead honest with you, man. 0:55:00.400 --> 0:55:03.680 I go, uh, between you and Ray, you're the one 0:55:03.680 --> 0:55:05.560 I would want to look at. Just a joke. And 0:55:05.600 --> 0:55:08.080 he slowly stands up. Everyone's like, holy shit, and this 0:55:08.120 --> 0:55:10.640 gets better. He slowly stands up, gets on stage and 0:55:10.680 --> 0:55:12.759 he goes, you're funny, and I was like, oh, thank you. 0:55:12.800 --> 0:55:15.239 He goes and you're a real motherfucker. I go, I 0:55:15.280 --> 0:55:17.520 think I know where this is going. He goes, you 0:55:17.560 --> 0:55:19.640 know what, real motherfucker's get into three zero five and 0:55:19.719 --> 0:55:23.239 everyone's like, show your dead and he fucking drops his 0:55:23.239 --> 0:55:26.600 pants and he has like more of like a grayer 0:55:27.040 --> 0:55:30.000 like like, but it's just as big and it's just 0:55:30.000 --> 0:55:33.839 as impressive. The place goes fucking bananas. So I tell him, brother, 0:55:33.920 --> 0:55:36.919 I don't know your name, but they're definitely called the cops. Now, Ray, 0:55:36.960 --> 0:55:38.759 you might be able to catch up with Ray if 0:55:38.800 --> 0:55:42.880 you go quit. They are sitting. He looks at me, 0:55:42.920 --> 0:55:45.719 He's like, good looking out, they're sitting. I swear on 0:55:45.800 --> 0:55:50.920 my children's life with a hairless albino. Hairless albino, and 0:55:50.960 --> 0:55:53.919 I said, I gotta be dead on it, sir. Out 0:55:53.960 --> 0:55:56.120 of all the dicks in this room, the only one 0:55:56.160 --> 0:55:59.040 I wanted to see is yours. He pushes his share 0:55:59.200 --> 0:56:04.440 back and he's just like, get's on stage. It looks 0:56:04.480 --> 0:56:09.440 like a fucking lighthouse. It's white, it's blinking. Sailors are like, 0:56:09.640 --> 0:56:13.000 go that blink. It is no hair. I dropped the 0:56:13.040 --> 0:56:15.759 micro go that's my show, Thank you so much. That 0:56:15.800 --> 0:56:23.319 would stand up in Miami. Okay, before we get into 0:56:23.320 --> 0:56:26.520 the quick time with Slive, Oh yeah, our show was 0:56:26.560 --> 0:56:28.600 about giving people they flowers. We want to give you 0:56:28.600 --> 0:56:36.600 your flowers. See your face. Everybody thought it's gonna be 0:56:36.680 --> 0:56:46.560 Gary Owens nod and drunk. No, that's your flowers. 0:56:46.560 --> 0:56:48.600 My brother Snoop Dogg says it's like a Grammy because 0:56:48.600 --> 0:56:50.640 he's kepting for your people. We wanted to tell you 0:56:50.640 --> 0:56:53.040 how important you are to us, how important you are 0:56:53.160 --> 0:56:56.120 to life, how important you are to everything. Man, you're 0:56:56.239 --> 0:57:00.439 keeping us laughing, and that's very important, you know, I'm saying, 0:57:00.480 --> 0:57:03.799 because life is so short, life is so fucked up, 0:57:03.840 --> 0:57:07.640 life is so we can't we have to laugh, man. 0:57:07.680 --> 0:57:10.200 We have to enjoy ourselves. We have to drink. And 0:57:10.239 --> 0:57:14.560 again that is what we have to drink. 0:57:14.600 --> 0:57:15.239 We have to drink. 0:57:15.680 --> 0:57:18.439 I mean, according to you. Listen by the way you 0:57:19.000 --> 0:57:20.000 are now the drive. 0:57:21.360 --> 0:57:24.920 You know what that is? The drunk Bible. Oh you 0:57:24.960 --> 0:57:28.480 are now the Jesus of the drunk Bible. I love that. 0:57:28.760 --> 0:57:31.800 And the Bible starts off with can we play it? 0:57:31.800 --> 0:57:33.840 Can we play it? Who got it on the group chat? 0:57:33.960 --> 0:57:37.000 Who got it on the group chat? Hold on? Come 0:57:37.040 --> 0:57:40.960 on his speech, get his speech? Hold on, I got it, 0:57:40.960 --> 0:57:45.040 I got it, I got it. Put it on like 0:57:49.080 --> 0:57:51.000 you tell your snips. Dude, let me tell you a 0:57:51.080 --> 0:57:54.360 lot my phone go. I ain't gonna lie. I got a 0:57:54.360 --> 0:57:56.120 bootleg home leg. 0:57:57.040 --> 0:57:59.080 I will always make sure that I can keep my 0:57:59.080 --> 0:58:01.880 body out there so that I can always drink. I 0:58:02.200 --> 0:58:05.960 love seeing a sunrise with a cocktail, seeing a sunset 0:58:06.240 --> 0:58:09.120 with a cocktail, having friends walk into your house, the 0:58:09.160 --> 0:58:11.080 bottom of line, getting. 0:58:10.760 --> 0:58:13.360 On a plane. Can I get you something? Bible? Jack 0:58:13.440 --> 0:58:15.480 on the rocks, lots of rocks, lots of. 0:58:15.560 --> 0:58:18.760 I love the moment someone says if we just get 0:58:18.840 --> 0:58:21.560 a drink and you and you're not supposed to that feeling, 0:58:21.560 --> 0:58:22.400 it's like your first kiss. 0:58:22.520 --> 0:58:24.240 You don't get that first kiss. Kiss you do want 0:58:24.280 --> 0:58:27.439 to get a first kiss once ye get their first 0:58:27.480 --> 0:58:30.120 drink every day, and then the letter is actually, actually 0:58:30.120 --> 0:58:33.160 we have bottomless This is gonna be the best day ever. 0:58:34.760 --> 0:58:38.440 Yeah that is uh by the way, I know you 0:58:38.440 --> 0:58:39.400 guys can hear it here. 0:58:39.400 --> 0:58:41.320 But when we played a real episode, we're gonna gonna 0:58:41.360 --> 0:58:42.440 play the I mean. 0:58:44.160 --> 0:58:52.560 That is like, it's it's Phil Jackson ship. Bro. You 0:58:52.640 --> 0:58:56.680 got it, you know you It's funny. It goes back 0:58:56.680 --> 0:58:59.280 to Kevin Hart thing. You can only speak about the ship, 0:58:59.320 --> 0:59:03.400 you know right, like you can't. You can try to 0:59:03.400 --> 0:59:06.040 be this bottle of me and you. This is this 0:59:06.080 --> 0:59:08.960 I would be shocked, but happen. This is listen, this 0:59:09.040 --> 0:59:13.160 is my dream. I held help this bottle. How long 0:59:13.200 --> 0:59:16.720 I held this bottle? Eric? Almost three years? I gotta 0:59:16.840 --> 0:59:19.080 I gotta FaceTime my dad almost three years and I 0:59:19.240 --> 0:59:21.480 had to buy another one today. Can bring the bottle? Yes, 0:59:21.720 --> 0:59:24.880 FaceTime my dad. Yeah, because I need another occasion. But 0:59:24.920 --> 0:59:30.640 I said, man, yes, my dad, my dad. My dad 0:59:30.680 --> 0:59:37.160 talks about this fucking whiskey. I should have brung two bottles. Oh, 0:59:37.200 --> 0:59:41.800 I look red at the fifteen in blood pressure, big 0:59:41.840 --> 0:59:44.720 guy yeah, Hey, I'm hanging out with my buddies. How 0:59:44.720 --> 0:59:54.080 you doing, How you doing? I'm in Miami. I'm in 0:59:54.120 --> 1:00:00.040 Miami right now. Yeah. But more importantly, we're doing a 1:00:00.120 --> 1:00:03.800 podcast in Miami and we're drinking a bottle of Poppy 1:00:03.880 --> 1:00:11.840 Van Winkle. He brought it out and I freaked out. 1:00:12.720 --> 1:00:16.880 How many years? Fifteen years? Twenty three is a bit better. 1:00:19.800 --> 1:00:22.520 I can't find Yeah, you know what I can't find? 1:00:22.640 --> 1:00:26.440 Twenty three? He's correct, he is, okay, yeah, he's correcting. 1:00:27.680 --> 1:00:30.160 I love you, Hey, I love you, I love you, 1:00:30.240 --> 1:00:33.160 I love you. You need to find a bar. That's twenty three. 1:00:33.200 --> 1:00:41.439 But yeah, a good time. I love you and twenty three. 1:00:41.920 --> 1:00:43.720 That's how you know, that's how you know his water 1:00:43.760 --> 1:00:49.200 is rich. Twenty three starts at like seven thousand, oh yeah. One. 1:00:49.720 --> 1:00:53.000 When I started making money, my dad was like, we 1:00:53.200 --> 1:00:54.440 got you know, we sh got a bottle of pappy 1:00:54.440 --> 1:00:56.200 and we just couldn't. You can't find it in LA 1:00:56.400 --> 1:01:00.000 you can't find it? Good? Uh? Have you have you 1:01:00.120 --> 1:01:04.400 ever thought about starting your own liquor? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 1:01:04.440 --> 1:01:09.240 but but okay continue no yeah yeah yeah, but so 1:01:09.320 --> 1:01:11.000 this is what this was. This is my idea. 1:01:11.080 --> 1:01:13.240 We have a game called Quick Time of Slime. Right, 1:01:15.400 --> 1:01:17.520 So when we take shots, I gave you a question. 1:01:17.600 --> 1:01:19.520 You take a shot, would you want to keep the 1:01:19.560 --> 1:01:21.760 shots as Pappy or would you want to mess with 1:01:21.800 --> 1:01:23.160 me and do some Japanese whiskey? 1:01:23.800 --> 1:01:29.000 Uh, let's let'sten to Japanese whiskey. I knew he would 1:01:29.120 --> 1:01:34.440 not disappoint. Wind it up there, Yeah, go go grab 1:01:34.440 --> 1:01:37.560 the biggie. Where's when's you got it? Okay? I watched. 1:01:37.560 --> 1:01:39.280 I watched you guys were doing I forget who you 1:01:39.280 --> 1:01:41.560 were doing a show with, and you were talking about 1:01:42.360 --> 1:01:46.440 strip clubs, but I thought you were talking about something 1:01:46.440 --> 1:01:50.360 else and I didn't realize it was just Who's who? 1:01:50.360 --> 1:01:54.840 Did you? Was your cross? Good? What? Yeah? Oh yeah? 1:01:54.840 --> 1:01:59.840 I thought you're talking about watches And I was like 1:02:00.480 --> 1:02:02.360 and I was like, oh man, I'm with rid Cross. Yeah. 1:02:03.160 --> 1:02:05.040 I'm like, yeah, I'm a roll X is more traditional 1:02:06.200 --> 1:02:08.840 like the classic. And I was like, well, I got 1:02:08.880 --> 1:02:10.800 to hear this new watch though I've never heard of it, 1:02:10.960 --> 1:02:13.480 and I'm googling it going like and then I go, 1:02:13.520 --> 1:02:17.640 are they talking about fuckings? Can we talk about trick 1:02:17.680 --> 1:02:20.320 Daddy for a second? Shod I get it? Hold on, 1:02:20.680 --> 1:02:23.360 can I tell you Okay, this is why, this is 1:02:23.400 --> 1:02:25.280 why you guys have the best podcast in the world. 1:02:29.360 --> 1:02:33.320 When you get you're getting people that are unfiltered. So 1:02:33.400 --> 1:02:36.200 much of America, including myself I'm sure I'm guilty of it, 1:02:36.240 --> 1:02:37.960 is that you filter yourself. You don't want to get 1:02:37.960 --> 1:02:40.120 in trouble, you to deal with it. Quite honestly, I 1:02:40.120 --> 1:02:42.560 don't talk about politics or anything like because I don't 1:02:42.560 --> 1:02:44.800 want to deal with it. I don't like, it's not 1:02:44.840 --> 1:02:47.720 on my radar, it's not my catch. When you get 1:02:48.800 --> 1:02:53.800 like brilliant dudes like Trick Daddy is he's you can't 1:02:53.840 --> 1:02:57.440 deny that his brain his brain was set up to 1:02:57.560 --> 1:03:01.520 make money. The guy does it at a day level, right, yes, 1:03:01.720 --> 1:03:05.560 but he's so fucking unfiltered. I remember someone, and I 1:03:05.880 --> 1:03:07.920 could be wrong about this, someone was talking about him. 1:03:08.120 --> 1:03:09.560 He had some disease and they were like, you put 1:03:09.560 --> 1:03:11.520 you on medication. He was like, yeah, I just started 1:03:11.560 --> 1:03:14.440 putting coke in my weed and I'm so much. And 1:03:14.480 --> 1:03:16.840 then you're like, you're like more of that? Did you 1:03:16.880 --> 1:03:20.200 ever hear? I mean, your your DMX, your DMX interviews 1:03:20.240 --> 1:03:24.280 are the fucking back. He staid right here, that was dude, 1:03:24.360 --> 1:03:28.920 he was, dude, you don't understand. I could cry talking 1:03:29.000 --> 1:03:31.480 and the first one was really first one was talking 1:03:31.480 --> 1:03:35.400 about two men for real, Steve Harvey and DMX. I'll 1:03:35.400 --> 1:03:39.720 cry talking about Steve Harvey. Steve Harvey, dude, I got 1:03:39.760 --> 1:03:43.360 into a style bender and I uh the middleweight champion. 1:03:43.800 --> 1:03:46.120 We almost got into a We tried. We picked a 1:03:46.120 --> 1:03:49.200 fight with everyone into the bar in New Zealand. We 1:03:49.200 --> 1:03:52.040 were fucked up and we stood back to back and 1:03:52.120 --> 1:03:54.840 we challenged everyone to a fight. He was challenging the dudes. 1:03:54.880 --> 1:03:58.240 I was making eye contact with the women, but like, 1:03:58.400 --> 1:04:00.280 but we had a fucking night and I thought he 1:04:00.280 --> 1:04:01.840 was doing a Steve Harvey bit. Have you ever heard 1:04:01.840 --> 1:04:07.200 Steve Harvey talk about his wife Marjorie bro just a pivot. 1:04:07.240 --> 1:04:09.520 I'm not going to cry on this podcast. You google it. 1:04:09.600 --> 1:04:12.280 No, No, tell us, dude, tell us, tell us, we 1:04:12.360 --> 1:04:14.360 got times, so tell us. 1:04:14.520 --> 1:04:17.520 He uh, because it's how I feel about Look, I 1:04:17.520 --> 1:04:19.600 shot on my wife, p loot right, that's what I do. 1:04:19.960 --> 1:04:21.480 We know you love I love her. I love this. 1:04:22.160 --> 1:04:24.240 My wife sent me a same good wife. She's a 1:04:24.280 --> 1:04:27.520 good mom. Better than yeah. Yeah. He has a clip 1:04:27.800 --> 1:04:31.680 where he talks about Marjorie. They play a song and 1:04:31.680 --> 1:04:34.800 he goes, I'm having myself a moment. He goes, that's 1:04:34.840 --> 1:04:38.520 our song. She's mine right there, and I'm hers, I'll 1:04:38.600 --> 1:04:41.760 kill every motherfucker in this room over that woman. God 1:04:41.840 --> 1:04:44.520 believe you seen that. I dude, I get emotional if 1:04:44.520 --> 1:04:47.200 I watch that clip, I cry because I go I 1:04:47.240 --> 1:04:49.280 know that feeling. Dude. We did a family few with 1:04:49.280 --> 1:04:52.000 Steve Harvey and he came up and you know, it 1:04:52.160 --> 1:04:54.320 killed me. It killed me. He came up right up 1:04:54.360 --> 1:04:56.760 to me on the DLS like I'm a fan, and 1:04:56.800 --> 1:05:00.600 I was like, dude, you're a fuck My My wife's 1:05:00.760 --> 1:05:04.200 our first like hangout at her house date. She put 1:05:04.280 --> 1:05:07.440 on Kings of Comedy. She was like, because we were 1:05:07.440 --> 1:05:09.840 trying to figure out what we both laughed at, and 1:05:09.880 --> 1:05:13.040 she put on Kings of Comedy and I had I 1:05:13.040 --> 1:05:15.640 had not really sat through and watched Kings of Comedy. 1:05:15.840 --> 1:05:18.120 I know I do not watched watch any comedy. So 1:05:18.160 --> 1:05:22.400 I was doing comedy and my wife was like, Bernie 1:05:22.400 --> 1:05:24.720 Mac and Steve Harvey are my two favorites. Like that's 1:05:24.880 --> 1:05:28.120 you need to like them if you like them. And 1:05:28.240 --> 1:05:31.760 Bernie Mac, I mean Bernie Max. Bernie Mac. You've seen 1:05:31.800 --> 1:05:35.120 his deaf jam set you scared of you. Patrice showed 1:05:35.120 --> 1:05:38.800 that to Patrise. O'Neil. Yeah, explained hip hop to me. 1:05:39.200 --> 1:05:43.480 Really that man press some peace, Yeah, Pece, he was. 1:05:42.960 --> 1:05:45.360 He was also one of the funniest people on the 1:05:45.400 --> 1:05:47.720 planet to me. Yes, I'm talking about all camera and 1:05:47.800 --> 1:05:51.520 off camera. Dude. Yeah, he could also be a unruly bully, 1:05:51.960 --> 1:05:54.200 like yeah, yeah, I mean yeah, I mean yeah. I 1:05:54.200 --> 1:05:58.480 love Patrise, but like he you earned a relationship with Patrise, 1:05:58.480 --> 1:06:03.120 you just didn't get one. Like he explained jay Z's 1:06:03.800 --> 1:06:06.840 he was watching me listen to jay Z and he goes, 1:06:06.840 --> 1:06:09.520 what what words are you saying? I said, I don't know. 1:06:09.680 --> 1:06:11.280 I don't know what he's saying. I just I just 1:06:11.280 --> 1:06:13.800 say words that are close to it. And he goes, 1:06:14.040 --> 1:06:16.520 hold on, hold on, hang on, hang on, wait, you're 1:06:16.560 --> 1:06:19.120 just saying like me, me, me, no, no, no, no, 1:06:19.720 --> 1:06:21.120 And I go, yeah, I don't know what he's saying, 1:06:21.120 --> 1:06:23.400 but it's fun to say. And then he goes, stop, 1:06:23.840 --> 1:06:25.880 let me tell you what he's saying. And he goes, 1:06:26.080 --> 1:06:28.800 it's beep deep and I'm picking them up. Let him 1:06:28.800 --> 1:06:30.440 play with the dick in the truck. And I went, oh, 1:06:30.480 --> 1:06:33.120 that's what he's saying. And he goes, yeah, wait, hold on, wait, 1:06:33.160 --> 1:06:35.000 hang on, do you know what pimp shit that is? 1:06:35.400 --> 1:06:37.880 He goes, I'm sitting out front in my car and 1:06:37.920 --> 1:06:40.440 it's beat beep and I'm picking them up. Let him 1:06:40.440 --> 1:06:42.160 play with the dick in the truck. I'll let them 1:06:42.160 --> 1:06:44.240 play with the dick in the truck. We were in 1:06:44.240 --> 1:06:48.919 Scotland and I was like, that's pretty cool. I was like, wow, 1:06:48.960 --> 1:06:51.959 that's really cool. And and and he walked and Mob 1:06:52.040 --> 1:06:55.920 Deep he go. He had this big thing. I have 1:06:55.960 --> 1:06:57.880 a weird thing talking about people who pass because they 1:06:57.920 --> 1:07:01.120 can't contest it exactly, you know, but like, uh, he was. 1:07:01.240 --> 1:07:03.240 He was explaining to me how white guys don't fuck 1:07:03.320 --> 1:07:06.240 with Mob Deep and Mob Deep the real ship, and 1:07:06.280 --> 1:07:09.800 he was obsessed with Mob Deep and like he he 1:07:09.800 --> 1:07:12.400 He's a really brilliant dude. He told me a lot. 1:07:12.880 --> 1:07:15.400 I remember. I yeah, yeah, he's a very pivotal dude 1:07:15.440 --> 1:07:18.120 in my life, very very pivotal dude. I miss that. 1:07:18.200 --> 1:07:19.840 I missed that guy. I missed that guy. I didn't 1:07:19.880 --> 1:07:21.440 go to his funeral because I knew he wouldn't have 1:07:21.440 --> 1:07:24.280 gone to mind, so I go, I just thought, of respect, 1:07:24.280 --> 1:07:26.440 I go, remember to show up at your fucking funeral, 1:07:26.880 --> 1:07:29.160 because I know that if I told you if Patrice 1:07:29.280 --> 1:07:31.600 was alive, if he had faked his death and he 1:07:31.800 --> 1:07:33.800 saw me at his funeral, he'd be like, what the 1:07:33.840 --> 1:07:38.440 fuck are you doing here? I wouldn't have gone to yours. 1:07:39.760 --> 1:07:43.360 Yeah that is some comedy, right, Yeah, I've never heard 1:07:43.400 --> 1:07:44.280 of no ship like that. 1:07:44.440 --> 1:07:48.720 Did Tracy Morgan get you hobbies to be? Fuck? I 1:07:48.720 --> 1:07:51.240 always that story had never gotten out. I always that story. 1:07:51.280 --> 1:07:53.960 It never It's a good fucking story because it's one 1:07:54.000 --> 1:07:55.360 of the best stories in the world. Because you still 1:07:55.360 --> 1:07:58.040 don't know whether he did or I will say this 1:07:58.080 --> 1:07:59.800 on Tracy behalf because I know he does not like 1:07:59.840 --> 1:08:03.080 this story. First of all, Tracy, I am the biggest fan. 1:08:03.600 --> 1:08:06.200 You are a fucking legend. I'm sorry that this is 1:08:06.200 --> 1:08:11.000 how we're introduced. I met you one time, I met 1:08:11.040 --> 1:08:13.160 you one time. I thought it was two times. Did 1:08:13.200 --> 1:08:15.480 he sip out on the bill that was those same 1:08:15.520 --> 1:08:21.679 same night? Oh? PCP, No, Cleancy Morgan does not smoke. PCP. 1:08:21.760 --> 1:08:25.160 You're gonna get me in trouble. He does not smoke, PCP. 1:08:25.439 --> 1:08:28.000 I will tell you this, okay, which at this I 1:08:28.040 --> 1:08:30.760 think I think he made me believe at the time 1:08:31.200 --> 1:08:33.880 because I was being this nervous white kid who's working 1:08:33.960 --> 1:08:36.599 the door at the Boston Comedy Club. And by the way, 1:08:37.040 --> 1:08:40.439 this was ninety eight. I turned twenty six. I just 1:08:40.479 --> 1:08:43.120 turned twenty six, So whatever year that was. Tony Woods 1:08:43.120 --> 1:08:45.400 shout out, Tony Wood's one of the best fucking best 1:08:45.400 --> 1:08:48.240 comics as Everdunk's stand up he was there that night, 1:08:48.360 --> 1:08:50.960 so like, just so we're clear, I wasn't the only 1:08:51.000 --> 1:08:55.599 person there. Tony Woods got hot too, yeah, and so no, no, no, 1:08:55.640 --> 1:08:59.759 it was just being just being crazy, just being cracy. 1:09:00.240 --> 1:09:02.160 And by the way, I know Tracey didn't like this story, 1:09:02.200 --> 1:09:04.400 so I'm fucking sorry. I'm doing it already. I'm fucking 1:09:04.479 --> 1:09:08.200 drunk crazy, remember, because. 1:09:08.040 --> 1:09:10.559 The story goes you guys went out back and smoked 1:09:10.600 --> 1:09:11.559 the blunt smoked. 1:09:11.640 --> 1:09:14.679 Yeah. You said, hey man, this tastes a little crazy, 1:09:14.720 --> 1:09:17.320 and he said, because it is that wet And you 1:09:17.360 --> 1:09:21.960 said wet and he said, he's CP like Denzel Washington. Yeah, 1:09:22.040 --> 1:09:25.559 in training day, like training day, just like training day. 1:09:24.560 --> 1:09:28.599 And now I freaked out. I freaked out. I never 1:09:28.640 --> 1:09:31.400 tell the story and I sincerely apologize Tracy. And you 1:09:31.400 --> 1:09:33.200 didn't want to go home because they said no, no, no, 1:09:33.200 --> 1:09:35.080 no no. I went back to Tony. I went back 1:09:35.120 --> 1:09:38.040 Tony and I said, I think I just smoked Pcy Morgan. 1:09:38.200 --> 1:09:40.640 And he goes, he started laughing because you did not. 1:09:41.000 --> 1:09:43.320 And I said, Wen, he goes, he Tracy doesn't smoke PCP. 1:09:43.920 --> 1:09:49.439 I said, for real, And he goes, maybe he maybe, 1:09:49.640 --> 1:09:52.519 he goes listen. Well you hey, here's the deal. I 1:09:52.560 --> 1:09:54.240 know the man. He's not a guy who's going to 1:09:54.280 --> 1:09:56.840 give someone PCP. But if you go home, you'll believe 1:09:56.880 --> 1:09:59.160 you're on PCP and you'll jump out of a fucking window. 1:09:59.680 --> 1:10:01.759 He said, come out with us, hang out with us tonight. 1:10:01.960 --> 1:10:04.559 Trust me, you're not on PCP. And so we went 1:10:04.600 --> 1:10:09.280 out to a club called Madame x and uh and 1:10:09.560 --> 1:10:11.160 and we had one of the I mean, one of 1:10:11.200 --> 1:10:14.040 the best nights of my life. I can't express this enough. 1:10:14.080 --> 1:10:17.760 It bums me out that like Tracy may may not 1:10:17.920 --> 1:10:20.160 like me for even sharing the story again, because I 1:10:20.320 --> 1:10:24.640 fucking idolized that guy. The guy is like the biggest 1:10:24.880 --> 1:10:28.599 He was such an unbridled talent at times, the things 1:10:28.600 --> 1:10:32.240 he'd do on just regular interviews. I fucking love that 1:10:32.280 --> 1:10:35.360 guy and my night with him was amazing. It was 1:10:35.400 --> 1:10:37.880 the funniest night. I'm still with Tracy and like twenty 1:10:38.160 --> 1:10:41.360 twenty black dudes and we're all drinking champagne. Tracy's taking 1:10:41.400 --> 1:10:43.800 everyone's got a bottle of champagne. And when a girl 1:10:43.880 --> 1:10:46.960 walks by, he's given her a bottle of champagne and 1:10:47.000 --> 1:10:50.120 saying something outrageous. This is before to Walmart. Oh wait, bit, 1:10:50.120 --> 1:10:54.040 waitit wait, I'm once again I feel I just want 1:10:54.200 --> 1:10:59.439 Tracy to know I whatever. He's a comedian, he gets it. 1:10:59.600 --> 1:11:01.560 I think he does. He didn't like this story. I 1:11:01.680 --> 1:11:03.720 heard that he didn't like this story or they said 1:11:03.720 --> 1:11:05.920 it never happened, which is he's totally about to say, 1:11:05.960 --> 1:11:09.120 it's totally how to say, but if it, Yeah, but 1:11:09.280 --> 1:11:10.680 I'd have to be the best story to tell her 1:11:10.720 --> 1:11:13.360 in the goddamn world, to tell this fucking story. And 1:11:13.800 --> 1:11:17.439 to this day, do you know was it? It probably was? 1:11:17.560 --> 1:11:19.720 It was? It wasn't he was fucking with me. I'm 1:11:19.720 --> 1:11:21.240 gonna fuck with somebody like that. It's like what you 1:11:21.400 --> 1:11:23.400 tell And I already had opium. I already say, it's 1:11:23.400 --> 1:11:26.880 like someone believes me. It's not. It's there's a list 1:11:26.920 --> 1:11:30.080 of stories of Tracy just fucking with like opening comics, 1:11:30.400 --> 1:11:32.880 like just busting their balls. Was it opening white comics. 1:11:33.479 --> 1:11:35.680 It was a lot of opening white comics. White comics. Yeah, 1:11:35.680 --> 1:11:37.640 there's a couple of white comics all like, I have 1:11:37.720 --> 1:11:40.040 a Tracy Morgan story. And you're like, for real, is 1:11:40.080 --> 1:11:41.680 that is that common? Like is that that you know 1:11:41.720 --> 1:11:43.760 what I mean? Well, yeah, you fuck yeah, I think 1:11:43.800 --> 1:11:46.360 you fucked with the opening comics is the funnest thing 1:11:46.400 --> 1:11:50.920 to do. And uh, and Tracy is a genius. I mean, 1:11:50.960 --> 1:11:53.960 he's a fucking I can't say that enough. He's gotta 1:11:54.160 --> 1:11:56.960 you go online. He's got a Doug Flutie story that's 1:11:57.000 --> 1:11:58.479 like the funniest thing I've ever heard in my entire 1:11:58.520 --> 1:12:01.760 life about his high school coach telling. Tracy is the 1:12:01.800 --> 1:12:04.439 fucking best. And then so I'm bummed that, Like, if 1:12:04.439 --> 1:12:06.280 I have a run into him, he won't, he won't 1:12:06.320 --> 1:12:11.040 be like I'm a big fan. But whatever, you listen, you, 1:12:11.240 --> 1:12:13.439 shit happens to you. You tell your truth as much 1:12:13.479 --> 1:12:15.759 as you can try, and and and and as a comic, 1:12:15.840 --> 1:12:18.240 you tell a story. But the best part of the 1:12:18.280 --> 1:12:21.760 story is at the end of the night, the white 1:12:21.800 --> 1:12:24.000 waitress comes up and gives me the bill, gives you 1:12:24.080 --> 1:12:27.120 the bills. I'm the one white guy there. And Tracy's like, 1:12:27.200 --> 1:12:29.200 what the fuck is that. She's like, it's the bill, 1:12:30.080 --> 1:12:34.800 which is you? And Tracy Morgan's like no, and then 1:12:34.840 --> 1:12:37.400 he's like that fucking racism. And then she slides him 1:12:37.439 --> 1:12:40.240 the bill and he's like, oh now I got money now, 1:12:41.880 --> 1:12:44.080 and he takes his shirt off and he throws it 1:12:44.160 --> 1:12:47.960 at her and the two bouncers. Tony was corrected me 1:12:48.040 --> 1:12:51.400 on this. X NFL bouncers, their x NFL guards. They're like, yo, 1:12:51.560 --> 1:12:55.120 my man, and Tracy just smiles and he goes, ah, shit, 1:12:55.200 --> 1:12:57.960 I ain't your man. The biggest fight I've ever been 1:12:58.000 --> 1:13:05.040 into my life breaks out right crazy, crazy least I 1:13:05.120 --> 1:13:08.000 think I am. I walk outside, I walk, I leave, 1:13:08.040 --> 1:13:10.880 I'm white guy. I grab my backpack, I leave. I'm 1:13:10.920 --> 1:13:15.639 like see you guys, good luck, guys. I walk outside 1:13:15.800 --> 1:13:18.120 and I'm just watching. I'm on way. Tony Woods comes 1:13:18.120 --> 1:13:20.680 out and he's like, shit's going off, man, Shit's going off. 1:13:20.720 --> 1:13:22.880 We need to go back in there. And I was like, Megan, 1:13:24.960 --> 1:13:30.160 the doors kick open, Tracy will I know, Tracy, doors 1:13:30.240 --> 1:13:33.760 kick open and he comes flying. Two bouncers fly him 1:13:33.840 --> 1:13:35.720 up up a fight stairs. You know in New York 1:13:35.800 --> 1:13:37.880 where those bars are downstairs, they throw him up a 1:13:37.960 --> 1:13:42.559 flight of stairs. He lands on his shirt, doors kickback open, 1:13:43.000 --> 1:13:46.280 his shirt comes out end over end like a cartoon, 1:13:46.920 --> 1:13:49.040 lands on his back. I'm looking at Tony Woods, going, 1:13:49.280 --> 1:13:53.880 what are we doing with Tracy Morgan. Tracy Morgan stands up, 1:13:54.360 --> 1:13:56.760 snaps his shirt, looks me in the eyes. He goes, 1:13:56.840 --> 1:14:03.000 Now that's how you get out of paying a check, dude. 1:14:04.439 --> 1:14:07.720 I literally Tony and him are like, we're going this 1:14:07.840 --> 1:14:11.040 way towards West Broadway. I go, I'm going home. I don't. 1:14:11.120 --> 1:14:13.759 I think I'm done. I walked home and I literally 1:14:13.920 --> 1:14:15.800 was like, you know when the car just misses you 1:14:16.240 --> 1:14:19.599 and you're like, my fucking soul a lot. I remember 1:14:20.120 --> 1:14:21.960 a dude name Eddieift, and I was like, he was like, hey, 1:14:22.000 --> 1:14:23.519 how's your night tonight? And I go, I just had 1:14:23.520 --> 1:14:25.280 the most amazing things just happened to me. I go. 1:14:25.520 --> 1:14:27.800 He was talking about Tracy Morgan. He's the funniest fucking 1:14:27.840 --> 1:14:30.240 human being I've ever met. Back for life. I love 1:14:30.320 --> 1:14:33.759 the dude. I fucking love him. I'm bummed it, but whatever, 1:14:34.000 --> 1:14:38.080 it's gonna work out. Thank you work. So when I 1:14:38.080 --> 1:14:39.360 explain to him the game. 1:14:39.280 --> 1:14:41.920 Yeah, we're gonna give you two choices you pick one 1:14:42.840 --> 1:14:43.759 and nobody drinks. 1:14:44.120 --> 1:14:47.280 You pick two or neither. So the politic correct answers, 1:14:47.760 --> 1:14:49.760 But we drink the game. What are we talking? If 1:14:49.760 --> 1:14:52.960 you drink, we drink with you. Leave you out there 1:14:53.120 --> 1:14:57.200 and we drink it. Thank fortunately the shots is DELI on. Yeah, 1:14:57.680 --> 1:14:59.920 I might need something else to put inside my mouth? 1:15:00.120 --> 1:15:11.840 Is there? Like a wait a minute, your man Ray's 1:15:11.840 --> 1:15:15.000 gonna come to the door. I haven't seen you in 1:15:15.120 --> 1:15:21.240 twenty years? You ready? I thought that was I thought 1:15:21.280 --> 1:15:22.040 that was my pappy. 1:15:22.120 --> 1:15:22.280 Man. 1:15:23.240 --> 1:15:25.599 Can you guys, Are you guys gonna have like more 1:15:25.640 --> 1:15:28.360 and more comics on? Yes, whatever you tell us to 1:15:28.439 --> 1:15:30.320 have one, We're gonna follow your lead. You gotta you 1:15:30.360 --> 1:15:33.559 gotta get cigarettes. I'm gonna be honest. But your man Tom, Yeah, 1:15:33.680 --> 1:15:36.200 when I found out he was Perubian, I was hurt. 1:15:36.640 --> 1:15:40.760 What really? Because I wanted him to be white. Oh yeah, I. 1:15:40.800 --> 1:15:43.800 Wanted I thought it was my I like today and 1:15:43.920 --> 1:15:47.479 then he's Peruban like you. He's a wrestler. Yeah, but 1:15:48.240 --> 1:15:50.479 he's a wrestler. You just proving wrestler. 1:15:50.840 --> 1:15:53.960 If you flying in just came in just a roe 1:15:55.040 --> 1:15:58.600 Tom's Tom's like Tom's he looks weight, He's going in 1:15:58.880 --> 1:16:00.200 like like, I don't like this. 1:16:00.560 --> 1:16:02.519 I want him to go back, like like I like, 1:16:02.680 --> 1:16:06.000 I like like no disrespect. I like drug addict eminem 1:16:06.120 --> 1:16:06.879 that's my favorite. 1:16:06.920 --> 1:16:12.200 Oh my god, Like I'm just the best eminem. There 1:16:12.200 --> 1:16:16.200 was saying I want, dude, I'll go with drug addict Beneflex, 1:16:16.240 --> 1:16:18.080 alcoholic Beneflex my favorite better flex. 1:16:17.960 --> 1:16:19.720 Because I don't know what this bene fat Fleck is. 1:16:20.120 --> 1:16:22.040 When you've seen the Sivary, I don't know if there 1:16:22.080 --> 1:16:23.760 was chivalry or that he was. 1:16:24.080 --> 1:16:27.160 He was piss He was like the door here here, 1:16:28.960 --> 1:16:32.920 God damn it cool. I didn't think that was Sivary. 1:16:32.960 --> 1:16:35.519 I don't dude, it was Silvary, but he was pissed. 1:16:35.560 --> 1:16:38.559 It was pist Chivary, because can't you have Pistchivary. Yeah, 1:16:38.640 --> 1:16:40.680 he was still like shoving a gun. You could be 1:16:40.880 --> 1:16:44.160 chivalry pissed at the same time. That Beneflex one of 1:16:44.200 --> 1:16:45.160 my favorite dudes alive. 1:16:45.520 --> 1:16:50.679 I'm like, is that the benefit Beneflex French? 1:16:50.800 --> 1:16:54.120 But those those I want. I want everyone to fall 1:16:54.200 --> 1:16:56.639 off the wagon, like I like when people that should 1:16:56.680 --> 1:17:01.280 be should be doing I gotta show her up. I 1:17:01.320 --> 1:17:03.280 don't believe it in the word attic, I know, I 1:17:03.280 --> 1:17:15.320 don't believe believe it benefit. He would be the best 1:17:15.360 --> 1:17:18.240 one to fall back going. I mean, he's supposed to 1:17:18.320 --> 1:17:21.360 not drink anything. I love when people stop drinking and 1:17:21.400 --> 1:17:23.320 they come around me and I say, take a shot, 1:17:23.640 --> 1:17:25.080 oh dude, and then they take it and I'll be like, 1:17:25.120 --> 1:17:27.960 I don't give a funk. I'm the devil. I don't 1:17:28.360 --> 1:17:30.240 because I don't believe this is the devil. I believe 1:17:30.600 --> 1:17:32.559 how you use it can be the I think if 1:17:32.560 --> 1:17:36.479 you're unhappy, it becomes the devil. If you're happy, Like 1:17:36.720 --> 1:17:40.960 I bet Beneflect probably drinks around j Lo because he's happy. 1:17:41.360 --> 1:17:44.439 He's happy. Listen, I have to say, if we're talking 1:17:44.479 --> 1:17:46.840 about one of my favorite other favorite things in the world, 1:17:47.960 --> 1:17:51.040 is Jennifer Gardner taking him to rehab. Like I love 1:17:51.120 --> 1:17:55.840 a woman, okay, who's his ex wife. And there's a 1:17:56.240 --> 1:17:58.920 that was his ex wife? What what what? What? What 1:17:59.080 --> 1:18:04.320 movie is she from? Fucking? What is it? Fucking the 1:18:04.400 --> 1:18:05.960 thing with the thing with the girl that could do 1:18:06.040 --> 1:18:09.120 the things? I don't know, but I like I like 1:18:09.160 --> 1:18:12.040 a rider. I bit a woman who uh will take 1:18:12.760 --> 1:18:15.920 I'm talking careless. I like a rider eye woman who 1:18:15.920 --> 1:18:18.240 will take a do to rehab. I also like the 1:18:18.280 --> 1:18:20.760 woman that makes you happy that allows you to drink. Listen, listen, 1:18:21.000 --> 1:18:23.479 there's a there's probably out of one hundred women, there's 1:18:23.479 --> 1:18:26.200 a there's ninety five that would tell me I would 1:18:26.200 --> 1:18:29.080 have to stop drinking. My wife's in that quick five 1:18:29.160 --> 1:18:32.080 percent that goes, hey, I got you. I'll keep an 1:18:32.080 --> 1:18:34.400 eye on you. I'll make sure you're healthy. I make 1:18:34.439 --> 1:18:37.120 sure you can do it. You're achieving things. Let's ride, 1:18:37.200 --> 1:18:39.519 let's go and that and that's what I that's and 1:18:39.640 --> 1:18:43.280 that's happiness too. And I just know my wife I 1:18:43.360 --> 1:18:48.320 did so I kild you know, did you meet here 1:18:48.320 --> 1:18:50.439 in Mia? Mean? Yes, I did not have to describe you. 1:18:50.600 --> 1:18:52.560 Just is that crazy Florida shit? I go, that's not 1:18:52.680 --> 1:18:55.519 New York. No, see's on Jersey though Jersey. 1:18:55.600 --> 1:18:57.920 Yes, but the crazy thing is, like I said earlier, 1:18:58.360 --> 1:19:00.439 I just said, one of my favorite comedians. 1:19:00.439 --> 1:19:02.120 I did not have to describe you at all. I 1:19:02.200 --> 1:19:04.439 just said, I said one of my favorite comedians. And 1:19:04.560 --> 1:19:06.280 she said, I know exactly that you're talking about the 1:19:06.320 --> 1:19:08.880 white guy who always takes his shirt off, and it's 1:19:08.920 --> 1:19:11.360 good branding. I didn't mean for it to. So hold 1:19:11.400 --> 1:19:13.479 ons were going to play let's do it because he's 1:19:13.520 --> 1:19:15.760 in the new One they said the new one. Yeah, 1:19:16.560 --> 1:19:19.840 because by the way, by the way, I love your team. Listen. 1:19:20.040 --> 1:19:26.280 By the way, we just want you to know, hey, hey, 1:19:26.640 --> 1:19:29.160 right now, right now, that's victorious part of my team 1:19:29.240 --> 1:19:31.320 right now. So when do I When do I get you? 1:19:31.479 --> 1:19:36.519 Guys like yeah, yeah, yeah, put you up. 1:19:36.640 --> 1:19:39.519 No, don't worry, let me do We got you all right, 1:19:39.560 --> 1:19:41.080 So we just want you to know that's our Dominican 1:19:41.120 --> 1:19:44.000 producer and our Columbian producer. Yes, it's a lot of 1:19:44.040 --> 1:19:46.400 cocaine over there. There's a lot of cocaine over there. 1:19:46.600 --> 1:19:49.799 And they come up with this, look at it are beautiful. 1:19:50.760 --> 1:19:53.000 They come up with the question, he's got beautiful eyes, right. 1:19:54.000 --> 1:20:06.040 Can't what's up? Which one is right here? He's coming 1:20:06.040 --> 1:20:11.640 on all right? You said it off you Snoop a 1:20:11.800 --> 1:20:14.559 jay Z Snoop without a doubt, Snoop without a doubt. 1:20:14.800 --> 1:20:17.080 Snoo's my guy. I love Snoop. Snoop is there of 1:20:17.120 --> 1:20:19.639 the day I found out Georgia smoke marijuana, My oldest 1:20:19.680 --> 1:20:23.320 daughter smoked marijuana. I was with Snoop. Do crazy, You're 1:20:23.360 --> 1:20:25.559 going to way too fast on the han So your 1:20:25.640 --> 1:20:27.160 your daughter just at minute day, Oh, she was with 1:20:27.240 --> 1:20:27.840 Snoop and I was like. 1:20:27.840 --> 1:20:31.240 No, no, James, Dad, I want to inter the Snoop 1:20:31.280 --> 1:20:33.800 And I'm like, oh thetherfuck that would be the perfect time, 1:20:33.880 --> 1:20:35.240 Curta tell you with him brown? 1:20:35.680 --> 1:20:37.880 No he Uh. My wife texted me. I was. I 1:20:38.000 --> 1:20:40.960 was having lunch with Snoop and my wife texted me 1:20:41.479 --> 1:20:46.439 and she said, uh, we talk whatever, Georgia. I called 1:20:46.439 --> 1:20:50.360 her smoking weed and drinking. And I was kind of 1:20:50.400 --> 1:20:52.080 fucked up about it. I know that you shouldn't be 1:20:52.280 --> 1:20:54.160 on whatever. I don't know how you're supposed to a parent, 1:20:54.800 --> 1:20:56.560 and I was. I was down, and Snoop was like, 1:20:56.600 --> 1:20:59.479 what's going on? And I was like, fucking my daughter's 1:20:59.520 --> 1:21:04.080 smoking weed? And he was like how old? I said fifteen? 1:21:04.439 --> 1:21:08.719 He was okay, here's how old were you? I said fourteen? 1:21:09.160 --> 1:21:12.280 And he goes, can I give you some advice one 1:21:12.400 --> 1:21:14.439 daddy to another daddy? And I said yeah, and he goes, 1:21:15.080 --> 1:21:19.439 don't be such a bitch. I said, by the way, 1:21:19.600 --> 1:21:22.360 there's so much more to that story. There's so much 1:21:22.400 --> 1:21:24.960 fucking more to that story. There's so much more. He 1:21:25.040 --> 1:21:26.720 invited me to because he knew I was down. He 1:21:26.760 --> 1:21:28.760 invited me to his trailer to do a shot. But 1:21:28.840 --> 1:21:31.160 I thought he says shower. So I thought showed up 1:21:31.200 --> 1:21:34.560 thinking we were going to shower and I and I 1:21:34.640 --> 1:21:35.960 was like, I was shirt off. I was like, so 1:21:36.200 --> 1:21:38.800 are we do together? And he was like he's like huh. 1:21:39.160 --> 1:21:41.000 He's like, yeah, of course you do it together. Right, 1:21:41.080 --> 1:21:43.120 of course you do it together. And I was like sweet, 1:21:43.360 --> 1:21:45.599 like okay, and I start walking to the badges. Where 1:21:45.640 --> 1:21:46.800 the fuck are you going? I go to the shower. 1:21:47.000 --> 1:21:50.200 He think there's a lot more to that story, dude, 1:21:50.240 --> 1:21:52.640 his body I said it. I swear to God. I 1:21:52.680 --> 1:21:55.000 swear to God. I said it to his bodyguards Wall 1:21:55.200 --> 1:21:59.200 and and uh and uh and uh fucking big Papa, 1:22:00.040 --> 1:22:02.360 I think I say in the right name and Papa 1:22:02.439 --> 1:22:05.200 and Wall big Wall and Papa. And I said, hey, uh, 1:22:05.800 --> 1:22:07.880 boss man invited me in for a shower. And he 1:22:08.040 --> 1:22:14.160 just went uh huh. And I went okay, but haven't 1:22:14.240 --> 1:22:15.760 very I remember saying to him. 1:22:15.760 --> 1:22:15.840 I was. 1:22:15.960 --> 1:22:17.800 And he was like, no, ship, your daughter spokes weed. 1:22:18.600 --> 1:22:21.160 You came over here a shower. I was like, you 1:22:21.240 --> 1:22:26.880 invited me. He's like, no, yes, So it's you probably 1:22:26.920 --> 1:22:34.040 get past that. Nobody else would get down there Orleans rollins. 1:22:34.160 --> 1:22:41.599 You know, I'm dyslexic or Charlie Murphy. Oh oh oh, 1:22:42.520 --> 1:22:44.920 I'm knotting. No, no, no, no, I'm gonna have to 1:22:44.960 --> 1:22:46.080 say it. I'm have to say it. And I love 1:22:46.200 --> 1:22:49.679 don Ella death, but without a doubt, Charlie Murphy. Charlie 1:22:49.760 --> 1:22:53.280 Murphy has one of the best. Charlie Murphy gave me 1:22:53.360 --> 1:22:55.960 so much joy when I when I had we had George, 1:22:55.960 --> 1:22:57.800 I was doing the road, just doing the road for 1:22:57.920 --> 1:23:01.839 as a feature act. And I come home and on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, 1:23:01.880 --> 1:23:04.680 I would watch Tough Crowd with con Quinn and and 1:23:04.800 --> 1:23:07.920 the and the Dave Chappelle Show, the Chappelle Show, I 1:23:07.920 --> 1:23:10.200 would watch them all. I had them all saved, and 1:23:10.320 --> 1:23:12.360 I sit down and watch those with Georgia sitting. You 1:23:12.400 --> 1:23:13.559 know when you have a baby and you put them, 1:23:13.640 --> 1:23:15.080 you cross your legs, you put them in your lap, 1:23:15.280 --> 1:23:19.679 you have your coffee, and you play them. And Charlie 1:23:19.760 --> 1:23:22.439 Murphy brought me so much joy with the with the 1:23:22.720 --> 1:23:25.160 just to Charlie Murphy stories. The best story he ever told. 1:23:25.240 --> 1:23:27.240 And this is the one that it is my favorite. 1:23:27.880 --> 1:23:29.960 Did you ever hear the story about when him he 1:23:30.120 --> 1:23:32.559 was he was He was telling a story to Snoop 1:23:33.000 --> 1:23:35.160 on his Snoop Show and he was talking about when 1:23:35.200 --> 1:23:37.559 he got out of the Marines or the what are 1:23:37.640 --> 1:23:40.360 the Navy? And he came home and he was like 1:23:40.840 --> 1:23:42.160 and he's like, I didn't have any clothes. I just 1:23:42.240 --> 1:23:45.840 had military outfits. So you heard the story. It's the 1:23:45.920 --> 1:23:49.519 best fucking story. And he goes. So my brother Eddie 1:23:49.560 --> 1:23:51.160 Murphy was like, Hey, we're one of my jackets out 1:23:51.200 --> 1:23:53.040 to the club tonight. We're going to Club Century, and 1:23:53.200 --> 1:23:54.680 so he put on it. He goes. It was like 1:23:54.720 --> 1:23:58.880 a bus boy jacket, like sparkles and everything, and he walked. 1:23:58.960 --> 1:24:02.320 He goes, I walked into the club and everyone's like, oh, ship, 1:24:02.760 --> 1:24:05.519 that's Eddie Murphy. That's Eddie Murphy. Yo. Who that dude 1:24:05.560 --> 1:24:07.040 with him? And they go, I think that's his brother. 1:24:07.520 --> 1:24:13.519 I think he's a magician. That story killed me. I 1:24:14.640 --> 1:24:19.120 remember laughing so fucking hard, and I love you to death. 1:24:19.200 --> 1:24:22.680 On El, I'm going Charlie Murphy, Charlie fucking Murphy. 1:24:22.960 --> 1:24:23.040 A. 1:24:24.880 --> 1:24:28.559 Eddie Murphy or Richard Pryor take a shot. Take a shot, 1:24:28.760 --> 1:24:35.160 take a shot, fucking take a shot. I can't make 1:24:35.200 --> 1:24:37.559 that either. I need more. I'm gonn need more. Wit. 1:24:38.280 --> 1:24:40.760 You know we're good, Okay, Yeah, you know we got 1:24:40.840 --> 1:24:42.439 a ship planning. We've been trying to get you drunk 1:24:42.479 --> 1:24:47.080 for years. This is this is Can I can I 1:24:47.120 --> 1:24:49.200 start like I'm a really good third mic? Can I 1:24:49.240 --> 1:24:50.880 start texting you guys when you guys bring people on 1:24:52.520 --> 1:24:55.560 down private and then you guys all back private. I 1:24:55.680 --> 1:24:58.680 was trying to get you on. I mean, remember when 1:24:58.680 --> 1:25:01.160 you first texted me me. I was like, I was like, 1:25:01.320 --> 1:25:03.599 shut the fuck. I lost my ship. I lost. 1:25:04.200 --> 1:25:05.519 I was trying to get you on the film today 1:25:05.560 --> 1:25:09.120 because they kept saying on vodka, club, soda or tequila, 1:25:09.120 --> 1:25:09.719 and I'm like, yo. 1:25:09.720 --> 1:25:13.800 Yes, I want you you you know me better than 1:25:13.840 --> 1:25:20.080 my wife? Yes, the next one, Yeah, Chris Rock or 1:25:20.120 --> 1:25:32.920 Martin Lawrence. Hey guys, that's good being here. Yes, m 1:25:33.920 --> 1:25:35.640 Chris Rock is the reason I got in the stand up. 1:25:36.520 --> 1:25:41.320 He's when I saw bring the Pain. I was floored 1:25:42.120 --> 1:25:44.600 at how I've said this. I have not said this. 1:25:44.680 --> 1:25:46.280 I don't think I've ever met Chris Rock. I met 1:25:46.360 --> 1:25:49.000 him one time. Chappelle and Rock are tough to meet, 1:25:49.400 --> 1:25:51.880 like they're just not I mean, I don't know. You 1:25:51.920 --> 1:25:53.639 gotta you gotta like be a part of their thing. 1:25:53.720 --> 1:25:56.200 To be a part of them, Chappelle wants to. I mean, 1:25:56.240 --> 1:25:58.760 he's like a great white shark, like he comes through. 1:25:58.880 --> 1:26:02.439 He was came through one time at the comedy club. 1:26:02.439 --> 1:26:03.760 I was in Dayton, and he just stepped into the 1:26:03.800 --> 1:26:06.400 green into the I was getting paid and Chappelle walked in, 1:26:06.880 --> 1:26:09.400 and the parties like, you know, no one's supposed to 1:26:09.400 --> 1:26:10.680 be in the room, and get like and I was like, 1:26:10.800 --> 1:26:13.000 who the And I was like, oh shit, it's to Chappelle, 1:26:13.080 --> 1:26:14.880 it really is. And I swam with great white sharks 1:26:14.880 --> 1:26:16.760 a couple of times out of the cage. When they 1:26:16.840 --> 1:26:19.840 show up, they move with intention, and they're very confident. 1:26:19.840 --> 1:26:22.800 Great white sharks are very confident. And Dave Chappelle is 1:26:22.800 --> 1:26:24.800 a great white fucking shark. And so is Chris Rock. 1:26:25.640 --> 1:26:28.840 His Uh dude, I fucking love Chris Rock. I give 1:26:28.880 --> 1:26:31.000 you a Chris Rock story real quick. I fucking love 1:26:31.040 --> 1:26:33.439 this ship. Me and Chris. 1:26:33.600 --> 1:26:36.439 You know, we've been in the same fo for New York. 1:26:36.760 --> 1:26:38.360 But one time I was in l A and I'm 1:26:38.360 --> 1:26:40.720 in the Soho house and I'm getting money. You know, 1:26:40.760 --> 1:26:42.960 I'm feeling great about myself. So I just say to 1:26:43.040 --> 1:26:45.240 the waitress, I say, YO, send Chris Rock a bottle. 1:26:45.720 --> 1:26:48.679 I fucking love this ship. No one does his ship anymore. 1:26:48.920 --> 1:26:52.160 No one does. Here's what's fucking wrong. Here's what's wrong. 1:26:52.400 --> 1:26:55.880 Everyone's so fucking worried about getting lit up on social 1:26:55.960 --> 1:26:58.120 media being the guy that goes, you know, can't tell 1:26:58.120 --> 1:27:01.559 you something. I'm sorry, I'm changing something. Private jets. Let's 1:27:01.560 --> 1:27:03.800 talk about private jets. Let's go. So I found private 1:27:03.840 --> 1:27:06.439 jets a lot, and I always videotape, I always post 1:27:06.479 --> 1:27:08.680 pictures and someone someone hit me up. They're like, hey, man, 1:27:08.880 --> 1:27:12.080 you shouldn't do that. It is not relatable, and I go, 1:27:12.960 --> 1:27:14.840 It's the most relatable thing you could ever do, is 1:27:14.920 --> 1:27:16.479 that I'm on a private jet. What the fuck do 1:27:16.520 --> 1:27:18.040 you think everyone else does when they're on a fucking 1:27:18.040 --> 1:27:20.280 private jet? Private jet? 1:27:21.080 --> 1:27:23.439 Wait? When when the fact that you're hype about it, 1:27:23.520 --> 1:27:27.880 when hiding your money become relatable? Unrelatable? 1:27:28.160 --> 1:27:35.679 You get money, you buy a fucking roll, assure. Yeah, 1:27:35.720 --> 1:27:40.200 you have pro bottles and champions, you do big dog ship. 1:27:40.560 --> 1:27:45.519 That's what the fuck is fun about getting money, hardet money. 1:27:45.640 --> 1:27:54.280 If you don't get your goddamn fuck those guys, those guys, 1:27:54.320 --> 1:27:57.640 I don't only hear that ship. We're drinking fucking this, 1:27:57.840 --> 1:28:03.040 we're drinking ski. Damn it getting fucking that's cat. That's 1:28:03.120 --> 1:28:06.519 the thing. That's such a fucking thing. What a white 1:28:06.560 --> 1:28:08.639 man on there that I'm pretty sure I was racist? 1:28:10.400 --> 1:28:15.920 My hand hands down, I need help help. I spent 1:28:16.000 --> 1:28:19.400 Tivy ben Wik on my eyes. It feels so good, 1:28:19.600 --> 1:28:24.360 it feels so good, My god, it feels like sometime. 1:28:25.040 --> 1:28:35.680 Oh my god, that's what I'm so sorry. Look the man, 1:28:35.760 --> 1:28:38.320 look at him. I'm like, yo, you know, I spent 1:28:38.640 --> 1:28:41.680 h me been wiggled in my eyes. Now him one 1:28:41.760 --> 1:28:44.080 look at him on the bottom. I'm like, I'm not 1:28:44.240 --> 1:28:49.639 sure I got will you be there? But it wouldn't 1:28:49.680 --> 1:28:52.800 be as I wanted to be. But it's a story 1:28:52.840 --> 1:28:56.280 with Chris Rocks and pull up. That's over the fact 1:28:56.280 --> 1:28:59.280 that happy man wiggle was probably a race. Let's see him, 1:28:59.320 --> 1:29:02.519 let's see it. Look, I'm going to bring the camera 1:29:03.320 --> 1:29:09.559 in my eyes, bring the god. Either here's a racist 1:29:09.680 --> 1:29:13.800 or the best Dennis in Alabama. Okay, so let me 1:29:13.840 --> 1:29:16.400 tell you. So Hey, Pappy van Winkle, here we go, 1:29:16.479 --> 1:29:20.000 Pappy wan Winkle, where's my camera? Uh huh, Pappy wan Winkle, 1:29:21.320 --> 1:29:24.800 If you stand against racism, yeah, send one bottle of 1:29:24.920 --> 1:29:27.560 twenty three year old whiskey for every episode they do, 1:29:28.200 --> 1:29:33.120 because stand with us an alliance. That's right, Black Lives matters, okay, right, 1:29:33.520 --> 1:29:39.080 and then just checking Patty van Winkle. Everyone hit up 1:29:39.080 --> 1:29:41.880 Pappy van Winkle and let them know we're big fans. 1:29:42.240 --> 1:29:44.519 And I bet you're big fans of drink Champs, so 1:29:44.800 --> 1:29:48.000 please start sending these bottles and we'll drink it every 1:29:48.120 --> 1:29:52.439 episode and you'll have and hey, listen, we love you, 1:29:52.520 --> 1:29:59.920 Pappy van Bitch. Okay, okay. So so, so I'm asked 1:30:00.120 --> 1:30:03.160 whole house. Chris rockets all the way over there. I 1:30:03.240 --> 1:30:06.160 tell the waitress go send him a bottle. Chris Rock 1:30:06.200 --> 1:30:07.040 thinks this is funny. 1:30:07.920 --> 1:30:10.639 Chris Rock goes and says, all right, cool, He's gonna 1:30:10.640 --> 1:30:12.800 walk over there. But he tells the waitress don't send 1:30:12.880 --> 1:30:15.040 him the bottle. Don't send him the bottle till after 1:30:15.160 --> 1:30:16.160 I take the picture of Nori. 1:30:16.360 --> 1:30:18.200 So he walks over. I walk off and said, Chris Man, 1:30:18.200 --> 1:30:19.160 how you doing? I get to see you? 1:30:19.479 --> 1:30:19.519 Like? 1:30:19.560 --> 1:30:21.200 If can I take a picture? He goes, no problem, 1:30:21.720 --> 1:30:23.160 So I don't know if you know, sohlo house, you 1:30:23.160 --> 1:30:24.880 can't take the picture in the main room. You have 1:30:24.960 --> 1:30:27.200 to go on to the balconies. And they let women 1:30:27.280 --> 1:30:30.719 in there. Yeah. Yeah. So we went on the balcony. 1:30:31.160 --> 1:30:34.640 I take the picture and then I come back and 1:30:34.760 --> 1:30:39.040 the waitress brings me the bill. So I'm looking this 1:30:39.120 --> 1:30:44.880 sh was eighty five thousand dollars. I look and then 1:30:44.880 --> 1:30:46.280 as soon as I look up Chris, I was like 1:30:50.439 --> 1:30:56.439 it was a joke, cars on foul. So I'm like, 1:30:56.640 --> 1:30:59.679 wait a minute. Chris Rock is older, eighty first person 1:31:00.160 --> 1:31:02.799 him know there's a bottle that exists eighty five thousand 1:31:02.840 --> 1:31:05.280 dollars and they send it to me. You told him 1:31:05.280 --> 1:31:08.080 to get whatever he wanted, right, say whatever you know. 1:31:08.120 --> 1:31:09.599 At the time, I'm thinking I'm getting money. 1:31:09.640 --> 1:31:12.840 Then I hadn't realized Wait a minute, you ain't just 1:31:13.000 --> 1:31:14.479 eighty five thousand, but no reason. 1:31:14.680 --> 1:31:21.000 Okay, all right, moving on next one. I'm getting I'm 1:31:21.000 --> 1:31:23.000 sweating thinking about it. I'm sweating thinking about right now. 1:31:23.200 --> 1:31:26.400 I hate sushi with Raffie May. One time we had 1:31:26.479 --> 1:31:30.760 a dolphin legit I love. Everyone's like, wait, you can 1:31:30.800 --> 1:31:35.479 eat dolphins. The fish guys, Ralphie May. Look in Miami. 1:31:35.560 --> 1:31:37.479 You can't say eating a dolphin. They're like you eating 1:31:37.520 --> 1:31:42.000 my team. Oh yeah, oh that's right, No man, All right, 1:31:42.040 --> 1:31:45.120 George Carlon and Robin Williams. Robin Williams, without a doubt, 1:31:45.160 --> 1:31:47.240 it's very racist. He was fucking it was it was 1:31:47.600 --> 1:31:51.600 Rob w. And they're both geniuses, both geniuses. It's what 1:31:51.720 --> 1:31:54.439 you connected with. I like the frenetic energy that Robin had. 1:31:54.520 --> 1:31:56.920 I love his career as an actor. He's an amazing 1:31:56.920 --> 1:32:00.400 act George Collin I met him walking down the street. 1:32:00.920 --> 1:32:01.120 I was. 1:32:01.160 --> 1:32:02.920 I used to bark at the Boston Comedy Club at 1:32:02.960 --> 1:32:05.120 the door and the Boys and Comic Club is in 1:32:05.160 --> 1:32:06.599 New York. It was in New York, is on West 1:32:06.600 --> 1:32:09.559 Third and between Thompson and we allowed a Boston name. 1:32:09.800 --> 1:32:13.240 I know, right. That was one of the hardest I've 1:32:13.240 --> 1:32:16.760 ever laughed. Puerto Rican couple comes up to the door. Now, 1:32:16.800 --> 1:32:19.679 mind you, I'm from Florida, so like I'm a little 1:32:19.720 --> 1:32:24.240 bit oblivious to like New York and uh, the Puerto 1:32:24.280 --> 1:32:26.439 Rican couple comes up the door and they go, Hey, 1:32:26.520 --> 1:32:28.880 what's going on side tonight? And I go, it's a 1:32:29.200 --> 1:32:31.599 comedy show. It's really fun, but I don't think it's 1:32:31.640 --> 1:32:34.639 right for you guys. And they said really, And I said, well, yeah, 1:32:34.680 --> 1:32:38.479 she's pregnant. And the guy goes and the best Puerto 1:32:38.520 --> 1:32:44.000 Rican reaction and I go, is she not pregnant? And 1:32:44.120 --> 1:32:48.240 he goes, Oh, this is gonna be fun. She lit 1:32:48.360 --> 1:32:51.160 me up. She was not pregnant, and she lit me up. 1:32:51.160 --> 1:32:53.200 I'll never forget. Like those are those moments in New 1:32:53.280 --> 1:32:58.400 York We're like fuck number yeah, yeah, funk that bad? 1:32:59.520 --> 1:33:01.760 You got it? Uh No, I don't know what these 1:33:01.760 --> 1:33:03.599 people are. Bobby wait wait wait wait wait wait wait 1:33:03.640 --> 1:33:09.360 wait Bobby Lee or t V is the THEO THEO? Okay, 1:33:10.040 --> 1:33:15.519 uh after the Bobby Lee, I felt the uh I'm 1:33:15.520 --> 1:33:17.640 gonna drink. He was on m t V right and 1:33:17.880 --> 1:33:21.880 road rules, a real world road rules. He's he's he's 1:33:21.960 --> 1:33:28.160 fucking no. I've he's a fun He's like yeah, by 1:33:28.320 --> 1:33:30.679 my own I think he is funny as ship. Look, 1:33:30.760 --> 1:33:34.599 Bobby is like podcast gold. If Bobby dranks still, I'm 1:33:34.640 --> 1:33:36.960 telling you, Bobby, you could bring Bobby here and not drinking. 1:33:37.080 --> 1:33:41.439 Bobby crazy. But THEO no, nope, nope, You're allowed to 1:33:41.479 --> 1:33:46.160 You're allowed to get I apologize. But THEO is, uh 1:33:47.200 --> 1:33:49.960 is man, he has all of my algorithm. He is 1:33:50.040 --> 1:33:54.599 the funniest dude. He's really bizarre. He's really he's fucking 1:33:54.800 --> 1:33:56.800 just brilliant. Man. I love that. I've seen some of 1:33:56.880 --> 1:33:59.759 his ship. He's so funny. But was he doing comedy 1:33:59.800 --> 1:34:01.960 back then with the No No, I think it was 1:34:02.040 --> 1:34:04.080 like a reinvention of himself. No. I think he started 1:34:04.160 --> 1:34:06.799 like right after doing road Rules. I don't I shouldn't 1:34:06.800 --> 1:34:08.240 speak at all to it. I don't know any of it. 1:34:08.320 --> 1:34:10.479 But I think he started doing after that, like right 1:34:10.560 --> 1:34:12.880 after that. But he is. I'm telling you, man, he's 1:34:12.880 --> 1:34:14.800 one of the best comments in the game. He's got 1:34:14.840 --> 1:34:17.559 a huge tour right now. Everyone's got to, dude, shout 1:34:17.600 --> 1:34:20.400 out the fucking Rogan. Everyone's got big tours right now. 1:34:21.400 --> 1:34:26.240 Killed Rogan. No podcasts on that list, I'm telling you 1:34:26.400 --> 1:34:30.360 right now, it's Joe Rogan. Whatever. Joe Rogan on here too. Yeah, dude, 1:34:31.120 --> 1:34:33.080 And we need to go to his joint in Austin. Yeah, 1:34:33.080 --> 1:34:35.280 we gotta get invited. You know how fun that would 1:34:35.320 --> 1:34:42.960 be a couple of times. Be a serious. Yeah, let 1:34:43.000 --> 1:34:45.200 me tell you something. Let me tell you who I am. 1:34:45.680 --> 1:34:48.040 If my next door neighbor had a party and didn't 1:34:48.160 --> 1:34:50.320 remind me, I won't go. I'm that guy. You have 1:34:50.520 --> 1:34:53.240 to you have to. I have to feel special. I'm 1:34:53.240 --> 1:34:55.760 a special person. Yeah. I was in resource room and 1:34:55.840 --> 1:35:01.280 special education and dyslexic. I yeah, I know, I know. 1:35:02.720 --> 1:35:05.479 Yeah that's my homie. I told you, I know. She 1:35:05.560 --> 1:35:08.120 said to me. She goes, hey outlawed adoption in Mississippi. 1:35:08.120 --> 1:35:13.559 I go, that says abortion. She goes, they wont orphans. Yeah, 1:35:13.640 --> 1:35:17.559 she's ye hardcore. Okay, So nas or Biggie Smalls, Biggie Smalls, 1:35:18.000 --> 1:35:20.360 I gotta be I gotta be honest with you. Okay. So, 1:35:20.600 --> 1:35:23.760 like this is not gonna sound really great, but like 1:35:24.880 --> 1:35:28.719 Biggie was super accessible to all of us in college, 1:35:29.320 --> 1:35:34.080 Like it was just super accessible. We got it. His 1:35:34.280 --> 1:35:38.760 first album I'm not speaking for all frat boy white dudes, 1:35:39.120 --> 1:35:40.880 but was like not the one we got, but when 1:35:40.960 --> 1:35:44.000 Puffy collaborated with him, and like really that next one 1:35:44.240 --> 1:35:47.840 that happened in like Biggie Puppies and both yeah no, no, no, 1:35:47.920 --> 1:35:49.640 no no. But the second one when he really was 1:35:49.960 --> 1:35:53.920 you can really feel the sprinkle of him of like like, 1:35:55.200 --> 1:35:59.040 uh it, man, Biggie was like next level for us. 1:35:59.120 --> 1:36:01.920 I didn't discover NOAs until later. You remember he did 1:36:02.000 --> 1:36:03.880 like a documentary that maybe he did like a thing 1:36:03.960 --> 1:36:07.040 on uh this guy. I'm so sorry, NOAs I'm saying 1:36:07.040 --> 1:36:09.280 it the only way I can explain it. He did 1:36:09.360 --> 1:36:13.160 a like a Life Through sixty thing with MTV and 1:36:13.200 --> 1:36:14.600 he was on tour bus and he wasn't wearing a 1:36:14.640 --> 1:36:16.559 shirt a lot of the time. MM, it's the only 1:36:16.560 --> 1:36:18.800 way I remember it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is where 1:36:18.800 --> 1:36:20.560 you got your idea to take up. No no, no, 1:36:21.040 --> 1:36:27.519 no no, It's all about the idea. But like, like 1:36:27.720 --> 1:36:30.760 I didn't discover nos until much later. And I'm and 1:36:31.240 --> 1:36:34.600 I'm being honest in that Biggie was just accessible, Like 1:36:34.720 --> 1:36:38.320 it was more I don't know, and I don't know, honestly, 1:36:38.360 --> 1:36:39.960 I don't know if it was because of the Tupac shit. 1:36:40.200 --> 1:36:44.120 Tupac was the entry. He was the gateway drug. Tupac 1:36:44.320 --> 1:36:47.080 was the gateway drug for like us in college. And 1:36:47.160 --> 1:36:49.160 then I mean we came to late to the game 1:36:49.200 --> 1:36:51.200 to snoop. He came late to the game to dre 1:36:51.560 --> 1:36:53.479 was like, it's amazing if you did, Like, I would 1:36:53.520 --> 1:36:55.519 love to see a documentary about how like white people 1:36:55.560 --> 1:36:58.920 found hip hop, because like the Chronic was, like I 1:36:59.080 --> 1:37:02.519 remember the Chronic came out. Everyone's like nw A was 1:37:02.560 --> 1:37:05.960 the game was a game change. Nw A was a 1:37:06.680 --> 1:37:09.640 breaking away and all that. But dude, and so in 1:37:09.720 --> 1:37:12.160 a weird way we all love those dudes because like 1:37:12.560 --> 1:37:16.160 what was a ice cube had a separate group, the 1:37:16.280 --> 1:37:19.439 lynch Mobs, the Linz Mob. I mean we followed because 1:37:19.520 --> 1:37:22.479 you ended up signing up for these guys. It's all 1:37:22.520 --> 1:37:25.120 about fandom. The way fandom works. I had someone explain 1:37:25.200 --> 1:37:27.040 this to me. I know I'm really saying this again, 1:37:27.280 --> 1:37:28.880 but the way fandom works is. I had a guy 1:37:28.880 --> 1:37:31.120 who was in Fort Lauderdale doing a show. And a 1:37:31.160 --> 1:37:36.160 guy's like a white dude, redneck, shirtless, not that not 1:37:36.240 --> 1:37:38.720 that big of a guy, kind of drunk, doesn't look 1:37:38.760 --> 1:37:40.800 like like a winner, like, and he just goes, hey, man, 1:37:40.840 --> 1:37:43.040 I need to explain to you. I'm a fan. And 1:37:43.120 --> 1:37:45.600 I went okay, like going like, let's just get through this, 1:37:45.640 --> 1:37:47.200 and he goes, no, no, I need you to pay attention. 1:37:47.720 --> 1:37:49.519 He goes, I don't have much in my life, but 1:37:49.600 --> 1:37:51.840 I got you. I don't I'm not a sports I'm 1:37:51.840 --> 1:37:54.120 not an athlete, but I got you. I follow you. 1:37:54.760 --> 1:37:57.000 I love you, man, and I love when you succeed. 1:37:57.080 --> 1:37:59.920 When you succeed, it feels like I succeeded because now 1:38:00.120 --> 1:38:02.599 I feel like I made the right decision. I picked 1:38:02.600 --> 1:38:04.760 the right guy. I love when I introduce you to 1:38:04.840 --> 1:38:07.160 people and then they go, oh, I love that guy, 1:38:07.520 --> 1:38:10.040 so dude, keep killing it is I'll always be a fan. 1:38:10.560 --> 1:38:15.160 That's how it is with hip hop is like when 1:38:15.840 --> 1:38:17.880 being a fan, just being a fan in general, is 1:38:17.920 --> 1:38:20.599 you discover someone like Nwa, right, and then you fall 1:38:20.600 --> 1:38:22.800 in love with all those dudes and then you you go, 1:38:23.080 --> 1:38:25.360 these are my guys. These are my guys. They're set 1:38:25.400 --> 1:38:27.280 up to me my guys for the rest of my life. Dude, 1:38:27.479 --> 1:38:31.920 ice Cube's been my guy forever. I watched his movies 1:38:32.040 --> 1:38:35.879 like ice Cube when they introduced Snoop to me, I go, Snoops, 1:38:35.920 --> 1:38:39.240 my guy. Eminem's my guy. Like that's how fandom works, 1:38:39.439 --> 1:38:42.719 is like I trust my guys to give me good guys, 1:38:43.240 --> 1:38:46.719 and I will say this wholeheartedly. Joe Rogan has shared 1:38:46.720 --> 1:38:53.120 that privilege with us beyond measure, Like Joe Rogan his 1:38:53.360 --> 1:38:57.679 guys do we're all doing arenas. We're all doing theaters 1:38:57.720 --> 1:38:59.800 and arenas. And if you're not doing arenas in theaters, 1:38:59.840 --> 1:39:04.200 you're selling out clubs clean like that that cool ship, 1:39:04.760 --> 1:39:06.720 you know, And I know it's sometimes in hip hop, 1:39:06.760 --> 1:39:08.920 it's not always done. I know I've heard stories of 1:39:09.040 --> 1:39:11.160 like people signing people to deal so they can hide 1:39:11.200 --> 1:39:12.920 the record, and because they wanted their record to come out. 1:39:13.040 --> 1:39:16.280 But like that cool ship that never gets forgotten, I 1:39:16.439 --> 1:39:23.040 ever ever got the next one? Oh? I got this one. McCallen, 1:39:23.160 --> 1:39:30.920 ohbikie McCallen. Yeah no, but which McCallum twenty one? Yeah no, 1:39:31.479 --> 1:39:34.360 so we did. I came late to Scott so I'm 1:39:34.400 --> 1:39:36.400 a big fan and I would love for you guys 1:39:36.400 --> 1:39:38.799 to celebrate with me next year, And if you're interested, 1:39:39.240 --> 1:39:42.160 I can make it happen. What so I do? I 1:39:42.280 --> 1:39:45.760 celebrate Winston Churchhill's the day died every year. And that's 1:39:45.800 --> 1:39:46.559 the cigarette guy. 1:39:46.840 --> 1:39:52.000 No man, it was the love priman the UK England 1:39:52.240 --> 1:39:52.960 during World War. 1:39:52.880 --> 1:39:55.639 I wis to Salem. That's not the same same guy. 1:39:56.600 --> 1:39:59.880 I apologize. I love you, I love you, I love 1:39:59.880 --> 1:40:04.240 you so much. I love you so much. I loved 1:40:04.280 --> 1:40:06.840 your honesty in that moment, I really thought it was 1:40:06.840 --> 1:40:09.280 the Wits. Why do you celebrate his birthday? Would so? 1:40:09.400 --> 1:40:12.360 Winston Churchill did like a gangster. Every morning he woke 1:40:12.439 --> 1:40:15.760 up and he had a soft scotch every morning. Every morning, 1:40:15.800 --> 1:40:17.920 every morning had a soft scotch. In my hero had 1:40:17.960 --> 1:40:21.960 a cigar, a cup of coffee, a glass of orange juice, 1:40:22.000 --> 1:40:25.840 two eggs over easy, uh, or two eggs Sunday side up, bacon, 1:40:25.960 --> 1:40:29.320 ham jam toast, and he might have a second scotch. 1:40:29.400 --> 1:40:31.320 Then he get into his bathtub for three hours and 1:40:31.400 --> 1:40:33.439 he drinks champagne, and then he would go on to 1:40:33.520 --> 1:40:35.960 run the country, and at lunch he'd have another bottle 1:40:36.000 --> 1:40:39.839 of champagne, and at dinner he started drinking scotch and whiskey, 1:40:40.439 --> 1:40:42.679 and he would go to sleep with a nice brandy 1:40:42.720 --> 1:40:45.040 at the end of the night every fucking day. So 1:40:45.280 --> 1:40:49.160 I so I talked about that's his spirit animals. Let 1:40:49.200 --> 1:40:50.720 me tell you something. So me and Bill Bert we 1:40:50.760 --> 1:40:54.080 had a podcast called Bill Burt Fucking Funnest fucking Podcast, 1:40:54.720 --> 1:40:57.720 and I probably talked about his daily program, and I said, 1:40:57.720 --> 1:40:59.880 I'm doing it this year. I'm gonna do his full 1:41:00.080 --> 1:41:02.720 day on the day he died. I'm gonna celebrate him. 1:41:02.880 --> 1:41:04.759 And I did it. And you can find them online. 1:41:04.800 --> 1:41:07.760 I'm sure your producers can find them. Dude. You got 1:41:07.800 --> 1:41:09.400 the one that my wife tipped for me, and then 1:41:09.400 --> 1:41:12.400 the one I just did in Amsterdam. But you celebrate 1:41:12.439 --> 1:41:15.040 Winston Churchill day living the way he lived his life. 1:41:15.280 --> 1:41:18.559 Wake up with a scotch saft scotch. So what does scotch? 1:41:18.760 --> 1:41:23.240 Saft Scotch? Is Scotch with soda, water and ice. It's nice, 1:41:23.280 --> 1:41:25.160 it's it's tastes like what I'm eating with the room. 1:41:25.280 --> 1:41:27.640 It's a little vanilla in your mouth. It's nice and 1:41:27.760 --> 1:41:35.960 it's slowly. Yeah, shout out to M and M. Were 1:41:35.960 --> 1:41:43.720 we supposed to drink? Did you ever go to his? 1:41:43.960 --> 1:41:44.200 The bar? 1:41:44.360 --> 1:41:47.080 The Churchill Bar, the pub Little Haiti was like a 1:41:47.200 --> 1:41:49.200 historical spotitude they took the tour down. 1:41:49.240 --> 1:41:51.639 There's a few, there's a few historical figures that I'm 1:41:51.680 --> 1:41:55.240 obsessed with. Uh Winston Churchill is one of them. Which, sir, 1:41:55.880 --> 1:41:59.439 I'm gonna look this up. Okay radio podcasts, podcast okay 1:42:00.000 --> 1:42:02.800 podcast podcasts, podcasts, look at this, Look at this, this 1:42:04.479 --> 1:42:06.559 this would have I could be shitty and I can 1:42:06.640 --> 1:42:12.320 be honest. It's not this, you know, I mean, you know, 1:42:12.720 --> 1:42:14.639 it's not this. I mean, like, I love those guys. 1:42:14.840 --> 1:42:17.120 Those are our guys. They're all our guys that always 1:42:17.160 --> 1:42:20.120 put us over for the longest time. But I think 1:42:20.160 --> 1:42:22.960 they wish it was this. Is this, It's fucking this 1:42:23.200 --> 1:42:26.080 because radiom guys, they can't really curse. They can't really, 1:42:26.280 --> 1:42:30.360 but podcasts we you imagine, but even even like if 1:42:30.400 --> 1:42:32.800 you guys set up in the radio world, your brain 1:42:32.880 --> 1:42:34.639 would have changed and you would have done different things, 1:42:34.720 --> 1:42:36.720 and you would have said, it's part of the core 1:42:36.760 --> 1:42:39.720 corporate space. Yeah, yeah, this is your thing. It's why 1:42:39.760 --> 1:42:42.360 it's beautiful. You know. It's crazy. And they tried to 1:42:42.400 --> 1:42:44.200 get us to go to iHeart Studios at one point. 1:42:44.240 --> 1:42:45.840 I don't know you remember, but when we went to 1:42:45.920 --> 1:42:48.920 CBS studios, right, and we were signed to CBS at 1:42:48.920 --> 1:42:51.280 one point in the beginning. Again, we look and we 1:42:51.439 --> 1:42:53.720 went and this is this is crazy. This is the 1:42:53.760 --> 1:42:56.000 reason why we never went back. Well, I don't know, 1:42:56.240 --> 1:42:59.479 not to record there. Yeah, So what happened was we 1:42:59.520 --> 1:43:02.519 would breaking up the weed. We're breaking up the We 1:43:02.720 --> 1:43:04.040 never smoked in it. I don't know if you remember. 1:43:04.080 --> 1:43:06.920 We smoked on the balcony, were drinking, were drinking. He 1:43:07.040 --> 1:43:07.439 was drinking. 1:43:07.840 --> 1:43:10.880 And I remember after we used the studio, the white 1:43:10.920 --> 1:43:13.320 guy send me an email that Elliott Wilson sent to him. 1:43:13.520 --> 1:43:15.000 It was like, is this is how it's going to be. 1:43:15.240 --> 1:43:17.439 These guys are going to be here drinking and smoking 1:43:17.760 --> 1:43:19.880 all that, because I mean, we spilled alcohol. 1:43:20.479 --> 1:43:23.040 So the whole studio smoked. We are a little disrespective, 1:43:23.160 --> 1:43:25.720 were a little dispre but I remember that I said, nah, 1:43:25.760 --> 1:43:28.400 let's go get our own ship. This is let's do it, 1:43:28.720 --> 1:43:30.720 let's do it this way. But okay, come on, let's 1:43:30.720 --> 1:43:36.519 go on, because I got, I got come the next one. XX. 1:43:37.680 --> 1:43:41.800 You didn't. You didn't? Okay? That fox me up. That 1:43:41.920 --> 1:43:46.200 fucks me up. Definite shots shot, definite shot, cool, definite shot. 1:43:48.800 --> 1:43:52.000 Have you got to be either? No? No, I never 1:43:52.080 --> 1:43:55.519 met tubacins. I met DMX. What's my friend? DMX was 1:43:55.840 --> 1:43:58.800 fucking He was so good to tell stories. Oh he's 1:43:58.800 --> 1:44:01.000 a legend. You hear him, very him on Breakfast Club 1:44:01.120 --> 1:44:06.080 talk about he talked about pulling that Asian dude over. 1:44:06.800 --> 1:44:12.240 Oh the FBI. Yeah, oh yeah, dude dude driving Matt 1:44:12.320 --> 1:44:15.040 slow pulled him over and they're like, huh, I hit 1:44:15.120 --> 1:44:18.559 him up. I let him up and he's not respecting 1:44:18.560 --> 1:44:20.720 my authority and like dj MB's like, but wait, you're 1:44:20.720 --> 1:44:24.280 not a cop, right, But he didn't know that. I 1:44:24.360 --> 1:44:27.640 remember at one point j jamb says, are you do 1:44:27.760 --> 1:44:32.120 you so? Do you still drive? He goes yeah, and 1:44:32.160 --> 1:44:33.519 the like do you have a license. He's like, no, 1:44:33.760 --> 1:44:35.840 catch me if you can listen. All right. By the way, 1:44:35.920 --> 1:44:39.200 let me just tell you something. We did the podcast. 1:44:39.640 --> 1:44:41.560 We go to the show after we did this is 1:44:41.560 --> 1:44:42.439 the first time he did it. 1:44:42.600 --> 1:44:44.120 I was about to say, we could do a documentary 1:44:44.160 --> 1:44:45.480 off for the first DMX. 1:44:45.560 --> 1:44:51.479 DMX, So DMX, it could be a documentary. Yeah, he's 1:44:51.520 --> 1:44:53.280 in the in the white beater and he's just going 1:44:53.360 --> 1:44:56.040 off to listen. What is it? The fandom is the Ghost, right, 1:44:56.479 --> 1:44:59.120 He's in the Ghost. So he's like, yo, Norway has 1:44:59.160 --> 1:45:01.360 to ride with me. So I'm like, all right, cool, 1:45:02.080 --> 1:45:04.960 I get in the front of see DMX. By the way, 1:45:05.000 --> 1:45:07.360 I'm being honest with you, it's my man. I love him. 1:45:08.040 --> 1:45:12.160 Probably the worst driver ever in history because he does 1:45:12.240 --> 1:45:12.599 not care. 1:45:15.560 --> 1:45:19.920 I can drive now I have I have improved, sir, license. 1:45:20.320 --> 1:45:23.840 I really did have improved. I got a life of 1:45:23.920 --> 1:45:27.120 license strict and let's be honest. 1:45:27.960 --> 1:45:30.400 But d m X, I kid you not. This has 1:45:30.479 --> 1:45:34.120 been numerous amount of times he does not respect a 1:45:34.200 --> 1:45:34.719 red light. 1:45:36.600 --> 1:45:39.400 Or I stop signed. So I'm sitting there literally like 1:45:40.160 --> 1:45:43.640 I'm so drunk that I can't really be like. He's like, 1:45:43.680 --> 1:45:46.840 you're good, right, I'm like in my mind, I'm like, 1:45:46.880 --> 1:45:47.679 can you pull over? 1:45:49.240 --> 1:45:51.160 Get out of the car. But d MS he he 1:45:51.600 --> 1:45:53.599 he was. He was a dead devil to that man. 1:45:53.680 --> 1:45:58.040 He was. It's uh, you got the mee DMX. You said, no, no, no, no, 1:45:58.200 --> 1:46:01.080 I never got to meet anyone the h d m 1:46:01.240 --> 1:46:04.880 X Tupac. I mean, I meane Tupacs. Yeah, I shouldn't talk. 1:46:04.920 --> 1:46:06.600 You keep going no, no, no, come on, they're the 1:46:07.000 --> 1:46:11.160 best man you met, No Tupac. I never met Tupacs. 1:46:11.200 --> 1:46:15.480 I once was outside the club that uh fucking who oppo? 1:46:15.640 --> 1:46:18.800 You know, sure, I think they shot up excuse me 1:46:19.200 --> 1:46:23.240 what they were down with Tupac? They did'gether? Yeah, I know, 1:46:23.320 --> 1:46:26.479 I know. I was outside the club, was in that 1:46:26.520 --> 1:46:33.720 they shot up? That was yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. 1:46:33.760 --> 1:46:36.400 Jim, this is this is a very racist questions about 1:46:36.439 --> 1:46:39.840 the Dominicans in Colombia's over there. But Jerry, Jim Carrey 1:46:39.960 --> 1:46:40.879 or Jerry Sonfeld. 1:46:43.160 --> 1:46:48.519 Wow, I did not expect this. Jim Carrey, Jim Carrey, yeah, yeah, 1:46:48.600 --> 1:46:51.960 his his Uh. Jerry Seinfeld killed the Sitkong game like 1:46:52.040 --> 1:46:53.800 I mean, no one will ever do. Did you ever 1:46:53.880 --> 1:46:58.479 realize that Jerry Seinfeld is a whore. It's a whore. 1:46:59.360 --> 1:47:02.120 He had a girl friend, a different girlfriend every episode 1:47:03.280 --> 1:47:07.640 on the show, so did Elaine. Elaine never dated the 1:47:07.720 --> 1:47:10.439 same but they were horse and it went over our head. 1:47:10.680 --> 1:47:13.479 It just flew by right by. Yeah, they were straight 1:47:13.560 --> 1:47:17.720 up a dirty horse. They were dirty. Yeah, I mean, 1:47:18.040 --> 1:47:29.080 and they're not. They never once referenced condoms, those characters. 1:47:31.320 --> 1:47:39.160 I'm there, don't listen. I swear I'm not taking a shop, 1:47:39.240 --> 1:47:42.080 raise a shot raise. 1:47:43.240 --> 1:47:46.240 I recently looked at it and I was like, I said, Okay, 1:47:46.720 --> 1:47:50.320 Elaine has a boyfriend this episode, and then next episode 1:47:50.560 --> 1:47:53.800 has a different boyfriend. And by the way, by the way, 1:47:53.880 --> 1:47:57.600 this is go watch it yourself. Because her and Seinfeld 1:47:57.720 --> 1:48:01.960 dated each other. Yes, yeah, so they so they it's 1:48:02.040 --> 1:48:05.400 still like a little bit of jealousy. So he always acts, 1:48:05.800 --> 1:48:06.519 did you sleep. 1:48:06.320 --> 1:48:08.800 With the guy yet? And she always be like she 1:48:09.040 --> 1:48:13.240 was talking about using the sponge. The sponge, the sponge 1:48:13.640 --> 1:48:16.479 that's fur control. That means you blow loads and so much. 1:48:17.240 --> 1:48:19.840 You ever following the sponge? Listen, listen, by the way, 1:48:19.880 --> 1:48:21.800 do you remember that? Do you remember fuck Me with 1:48:21.840 --> 1:48:25.040 the Smiles? Never you remember that episode? Listen, but you 1:48:25.120 --> 1:48:34.320 can't listen. This is motherfuckings like this listen with spies terrible. 1:48:34.800 --> 1:48:38.960 We're like, what the like? But listen, listen, you had 1:48:39.000 --> 1:48:42.040 to run it on this listen. This is how much 1:48:42.120 --> 1:48:45.639 Elaine was getting it in. She goes to buy the sponge. 1:48:46.000 --> 1:48:48.160 The guy goes, The guy goes, how many you want? 1:48:48.200 --> 1:48:50.720 You want six? She goes, give me twelve, and the 1:48:50.880 --> 1:48:52.639 guy goes, okay, I'm gonna give you twelve. He goes 1:48:52.680 --> 1:48:54.719 give me twenty, and then she goes and he goes, 1:48:55.160 --> 1:48:57.960 well you wont twenty, and she goes, give me thirty. 1:48:58.800 --> 1:49:00.599 And then he goes, you want the already. She goes, 1:49:00.960 --> 1:49:03.439 how much is the whole thing? He goes sixty. She goes, 1:49:03.560 --> 1:49:06.920 give me the whole thing. That is the slor If 1:49:07.000 --> 1:49:11.280 I've never the sponge, sorry, she was living a life. Man. 1:49:11.680 --> 1:49:14.439 I thought about fucking with the sponge in a long time. Yeah. 1:49:14.680 --> 1:49:16.400 I don't really know what a sponge is. They got 1:49:16.479 --> 1:49:19.040 rid of them, right. Is it called a sponge? Though? 1:49:19.240 --> 1:49:21.120 It was a spe isn't it something else? It was 1:49:21.200 --> 1:49:25.960 like it was like a it was a baby's fit diaphragm, diaphragm. No, no, no, no, 1:49:26.160 --> 1:49:28.799 it was a well I'm talking about of a sponge. 1:49:30.600 --> 1:49:33.080 It was that. Or she accidentally left the Tampa and 1:49:33.160 --> 1:49:36.240 you read running underwater and squeeze it a couple of times, 1:49:37.120 --> 1:49:42.200 and then but you're the one that was I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, 1:49:42.280 --> 1:49:47.120 sorry sorry sorry. She was like, I'm not fifty. Okay, 1:49:48.560 --> 1:49:52.240 take a look at me. Good. You got the next one? Yeah, 1:49:52.479 --> 1:49:56.320 Seth Rogan or Jonah Hill. Oh, Jonah Hill, it is 1:49:56.400 --> 1:49:59.120 Jonah Hill. Jonah Hill's the like I never I never 1:49:59.240 --> 1:50:03.040 wanted to be an actor at all. I never wanted 1:50:03.040 --> 1:50:05.200 to be an actor at all. I had no interest 1:50:05.400 --> 1:50:07.240 and I just wanted to do stand up and podcasting. 1:50:07.600 --> 1:50:10.880 And then I did the movie Uh, and I loved it. 1:50:11.080 --> 1:50:13.840 I loved it so much. I had so much fucking fun. 1:50:13.960 --> 1:50:16.439 Which movie My movie The Machine? Oh okay, coming out 1:50:16.800 --> 1:50:18.280 day Weekend? Yeah? Yeah yeah yeah. 1:50:19.840 --> 1:50:20.320 And uh. 1:50:21.720 --> 1:50:24.240 And then immediately I thought like who would be cool 1:50:24.280 --> 1:50:26.720 to work with? Like the first thought was like I 1:50:26.800 --> 1:50:29.800 want to watch people good actors. So I worked with 1:50:29.880 --> 1:50:33.720 Mark Hamill from Luke Yeah, Star Wars. Coworker plays my 1:50:33.800 --> 1:50:36.679 dad and I was like, oh, yeah, it plays your dad. 1:50:36.800 --> 1:50:39.360 Oh fuck yeah. Oh it's a big fucking thirty million 1:50:39.400 --> 1:50:44.400 dollar movie. And it's like a fucking legit movie your birthday. Yeah, dude, 1:50:44.479 --> 1:50:46.240 let me buy you twas here, let me buy out 1:50:46.280 --> 1:50:48.400 a theater for you. I ain't gonna let me buy 1:50:48.439 --> 1:50:53.000 a theater for you. You can buy one hundred people. 1:50:53.560 --> 1:51:00.280 Let's do it myself. But as soon as I did 1:51:00.280 --> 1:51:01.599 in the movie, I was like, I was like, Yo, 1:51:01.840 --> 1:51:04.000 there's a lot of people I would like to I 1:51:04.040 --> 1:51:06.880 would like to watch act that. I like watching act 1:51:07.200 --> 1:51:10.120 like I like I like Kevin Hart. I would love 1:51:10.160 --> 1:51:11.519 to watch him act. I would love to work with 1:51:11.600 --> 1:51:13.280 him to see what he like. He's like how he 1:51:13.400 --> 1:51:17.160 does it. But Jonah Hill's the number one. Jonah Hill 1:51:17.280 --> 1:51:20.040 is just fuck. He's like the improv king. He saw 1:51:20.080 --> 1:51:23.800 his ship with the therapist. Yeah, that's just pretty, that's pretty. 1:51:25.200 --> 1:51:29.439 You didn't like it. I didn't like it. I no, 1:51:30.760 --> 1:51:33.839 I'm like one of those guys. No, I red. I understand. 1:51:33.960 --> 1:51:35.479 I'm going to I'm going to be into it because 1:51:35.479 --> 1:51:36.960 I think it's kind of well, you kind of did 1:51:37.000 --> 1:51:39.160 it on the show. On the show you did you 1:51:39.240 --> 1:51:41.880 did Marie? Yeah, yeah, you kind of did a little bit. 1:51:42.000 --> 1:51:44.599 Yeah I did that. I loved. I love The first 1:51:44.640 --> 1:51:46.439 time I did therapy, I was like, I was like, 1:51:46.960 --> 1:51:48.519 I said to the lady, I was like, you have 1:51:48.600 --> 1:51:51.200 a mortgage. She was like this this matter and I 1:51:51.240 --> 1:51:54.760 said yeah, because I'm I pay you money every week, 1:51:54.880 --> 1:51:57.160 so if you have a mortgage, I have problems that 1:51:57.240 --> 1:52:00.280 looks like And she was like, I don't say that 1:52:00.600 --> 1:52:03.320 is important. She wasn't that attractive, and I was like, 1:52:03.960 --> 1:52:06.240 I was like yeah, but I was like, so like, 1:52:07.080 --> 1:52:11.240 you're probably attracted me, right, Tony. And she was like 1:52:11.800 --> 1:52:15.000 she was like no, And I was like, you are, like, 1:52:15.120 --> 1:52:18.160 be honest, we're in therapy right now. Fuck yeah. And 1:52:18.280 --> 1:52:19.519 it would be fun like if you had a hot 1:52:19.680 --> 1:52:21.120 if you were a therapist and you had a hot chicken, 1:52:21.120 --> 1:52:23.080 you'd be like, oh, she's got so many fund up problems. 1:52:23.160 --> 1:52:25.400 You should do twice a week. Right, That's how my 1:52:25.479 --> 1:52:28.679 brain works. So you know, so I stopped doing therapy 1:52:28.760 --> 1:52:33.000 with her. Yeah, I'm I'm stilling therapy. Shout out to therapy. 1:52:34.080 --> 1:52:37.960 Shout out. That's the first shoutout for therapy. Shout out 1:52:38.000 --> 1:52:40.240 to aids, shout out to snoop, shout out the therapy. 1:52:40.400 --> 1:52:44.920 You took a shop rings, I shop. I did take 1:52:44.960 --> 1:52:47.680 a shop. Yeah, you won't go I got this one. 1:52:47.840 --> 1:52:50.519 Got good? Oh no, I'm skipping, damn fuck no, no, okay? 1:52:50.600 --> 1:52:54.040 Mob deep or the locks? Oh locks, the locks, the 1:52:54.120 --> 1:52:56.960 locks the Locks, dude, that was that's my that's my 1:52:57.120 --> 1:53:01.040 moment of moving to uh La to New York. That's 1:53:01.080 --> 1:53:04.400 my moment. That's my moment. Yeah, like that was my 1:53:05.280 --> 1:53:08.920 and it was and it's fun because you know, I 1:53:09.080 --> 1:53:13.200 hope this sounds respectful, but like you have a moment 1:53:13.240 --> 1:53:15.360 where you know all the names like like like Big 1:53:15.400 --> 1:53:17.280 Pun is a great example of like a guy who 1:53:17.360 --> 1:53:19.720 passed who meant so much you in the time. Maybe 1:53:19.720 --> 1:53:21.519 you don't listen to them all the time, but then 1:53:21.760 --> 1:53:23.680 what's cool about your podcast? All a sudden, the Locks 1:53:23.680 --> 1:53:25.800 show up or Jada Kiss shows up, or like the 1:53:25.880 --> 1:53:27.840 people show up, and you go, fuck, man, I forgot, 1:53:28.160 --> 1:53:31.360 Like uh like the Dipset shows up and you're like, oh, 1:53:31.400 --> 1:53:33.960 I forgot about this fucking music that I love. And 1:53:34.040 --> 1:53:36.599 then you drive across the hill and you listen to him, 1:53:36.760 --> 1:53:39.560 and it's just it reminds you of how great it 1:53:39.760 --> 1:53:42.400 was when you were young. You didn't know about death. 1:53:42.479 --> 1:53:45.880 You were like, I'm gonna live forever god man. Yeah yeah, 1:53:47.040 --> 1:53:51.599 so Chris Folio, JIMBALUSI take a shot. Yeah, I mean, 1:53:52.040 --> 1:53:55.280 because I live. I live barrel of both of those guys. 1:53:57.439 --> 1:53:58.760 By the way, I just want to just tell you 1:53:58.840 --> 1:54:05.360 I am mixing whiskey with whiskey. Yeah, I know. I 1:54:05.439 --> 1:54:06.880 feel like we're reading I feel like we're reading the 1:54:06.960 --> 1:54:12.599 cheeseburger with sliders. Yes, exactly, exactly. 1:54:12.760 --> 1:54:15.560 By the way, I'm just thinking about it because I 1:54:15.640 --> 1:54:16.559 can't get up right now. 1:54:16.960 --> 1:54:19.880 I get up. That's why I t I try not 1:54:19.960 --> 1:54:21.800 to use the bathroom doing this. He's the best one. 1:54:21.800 --> 1:54:24.680 I get up. The shots hit me like and it's like, 1:54:25.400 --> 1:54:27.320 I gotta get on a plane tonight. You gotta get 1:54:27.320 --> 1:54:29.160 on the plane. Yeah. I have a press I have 1:54:29.240 --> 1:54:32.000 a press tour tomorrow with Mark Hamill. I have an 1:54:32.080 --> 1:54:34.760 iv doctor meeting me at the hotel in the morning. 1:54:34.880 --> 1:54:36.720 You a professional. You should have I would have had 1:54:36.760 --> 1:54:37.840 the IVY guys. I could have had to. 1:54:39.560 --> 1:54:42.600 Get that piece to I'm a hardcore IVY guy. Damn 1:54:43.160 --> 1:54:44.480 Chevy Chase or Steve Martin. 1:54:50.400 --> 1:54:52.680 I wanted to because I watched the show and I 1:54:52.720 --> 1:54:55.200 don't like when people take shots. So I go, I know, 1:54:55.600 --> 1:54:57.680 I know what one I picked. You know, like I 1:54:57.760 --> 1:54:59.680 know what I picked, right, So which one you pick? 1:55:01.440 --> 1:55:04.880 It is Chevy Chase and I know and by hold on, 1:55:05.040 --> 1:55:07.480 hold on, Steve Martin's the cool guy. Like if Steve 1:55:07.520 --> 1:55:12.120 Martin's watching Champs right now, which I'm sure what he is. 1:55:12.360 --> 1:55:13.960 But then and then he would be like, why would 1:55:13.960 --> 1:55:15.920 you pick chevvy Chase? And chevy Chase would never watch 1:55:15.960 --> 1:55:18.080 the show. And he's not like great guy, No one 1:55:18.200 --> 1:55:24.080 likes him. He seems like you would be like, yeah, 1:55:24.080 --> 1:55:28.640 I know he's not he's not. But but but my 1:55:28.800 --> 1:55:35.720 personality was defined by Caddy Shack Chevy all those movies 1:55:35.800 --> 1:55:38.480 that he made you create. What were your when like 1:55:38.560 --> 1:55:40.880 what movies did you see growing up going I want 1:55:40.920 --> 1:55:43.680 to be that guy like John Blueci, Chris Marley, Chevy Chase, 1:55:43.960 --> 1:55:47.120 those are my guys coming to America's moss Yeah, because 1:55:47.160 --> 1:55:49.160 they shouted up the block from my hood, from that 1:55:49.240 --> 1:55:51.440 Flax City and Queens and great was the moment the 1:55:51.560 --> 1:55:54.080 hart I remember laughed in the movie is when they're 1:55:54.080 --> 1:55:59.960 all shooting in our Sineo Hall pops up and that night. 1:56:00.040 --> 1:56:01.640 That's all it to me too. 1:56:01.680 --> 1:56:04.400 Though other people say hallom Nights is coming to America 1:56:04.480 --> 1:56:06.280 part two or uh. 1:56:07.760 --> 1:56:14.200 Because all start casting life, Life is coming to life. 1:56:14.520 --> 1:56:17.400 Life is supposed to be Halem Night's part two. Yeah, 1:56:17.440 --> 1:56:20.200 the second part which I've never, I never I can't 1:56:20.240 --> 1:56:21.960 see the correlate. I can't see it, dude. 1:56:22.160 --> 1:56:24.520 Life Life is supposed to be the part two of 1:56:24.600 --> 1:56:27.920 Halem Knights. Yes, you just got to remember that makes sense. 1:56:28.080 --> 1:56:29.920 I mean Martin is not in it, but you got 1:56:30.000 --> 1:56:33.800 all these comedians. No, Mars not in Harlem Knights, He's 1:56:33.840 --> 1:56:34.480 in Life. Yes. 1:56:34.720 --> 1:56:37.320 You remember at the end of Coming Coming to America 1:56:37.400 --> 1:56:40.880 when the two old guys and it's it's it's it's 1:56:40.920 --> 1:56:41.240 a play. 1:56:41.280 --> 1:56:43.160 It's not a play, it's it's it's going back to 1:56:43.360 --> 1:56:45.040 uh trading places. 1:56:47.680 --> 1:56:47.920 They were. 1:56:47.920 --> 1:56:50.000 They were the bumps on the street and coming to 1:56:50.080 --> 1:56:52.240 America at the end. Wait there, can I ask you 1:56:52.280 --> 1:56:57.240 a weird question? Was there more representation back when Eddie 1:56:57.280 --> 1:56:59.520 muf Murphy was a moody movie s hard than today. 1:57:01.520 --> 1:57:02.360 I don't know if I can. 1:57:02.280 --> 1:57:04.120 Answer that question properly, but I can tell you this, 1:57:04.800 --> 1:57:08.320 I have never seen when a comedian was at the 1:57:08.360 --> 1:57:11.680 top of the list, like like when Eddie Murphy movie 1:57:11.720 --> 1:57:15.640 came out back then, like my community got dipped to 1:57:15.720 --> 1:57:17.680 see the I'm talking about. They put on leather. 1:57:18.480 --> 1:57:19.040 It was an event. 1:57:19.200 --> 1:57:22.400 I would I would go to the movie theaters and 1:57:22.520 --> 1:57:25.640 it would be like Apollo, it would be like a concert. 1:57:26.160 --> 1:57:29.400 And since then, like I said, like, Kevin is my friend. 1:57:29.440 --> 1:57:31.320 You know, me and him have business together and we 1:57:31.440 --> 1:57:35.200 speak a lot, and Kevin's come very very close. But 1:57:35.400 --> 1:57:39.720 I have never seen like Eddie Murphy that type of 1:57:39.880 --> 1:57:41.840 impact when he dropped a movie like. 1:57:45.480 --> 1:57:49.480 He was. I remember Beverly Hills cop at this time, 1:57:49.640 --> 1:57:51.720 no one at this time never even know what Beverly 1:57:51.840 --> 1:57:59.240 Hills wanted to be. To play it on the piano, 1:58:00.040 --> 1:58:02.120 I learned how to pill. Yeah, you know, like dude, 1:58:02.280 --> 1:58:07.080 Eddie Murphy was, I mean, just a movie star, like 1:58:07.160 --> 1:58:09.680 back when you could have movie stars, like back when 1:58:10.000 --> 1:58:15.760 fuck the whatever woke, fucking I can't say this certain things. 1:58:15.960 --> 1:58:19.440 He was a he was a movie star. He was 1:58:19.520 --> 1:58:21.840 bigger than them, he was bigger than everyone. That's what 1:58:23.120 --> 1:58:25.320 I don't give a fuck about being an actor. I 1:58:25.360 --> 1:58:27.080 don't care about the craft. I don't give a fuck 1:58:27.080 --> 1:58:29.120 about that ship. I want to be a movie star, 1:58:29.480 --> 1:58:31.640 like drive down the red carpet on a motorcycle with 1:58:31.680 --> 1:58:34.200 a cigar in your mouth. But I don't think that 1:58:34.280 --> 1:58:38.880 exists anymore. I'll bring it back. I'll bring it back 1:58:39.000 --> 1:58:42.320 because the movie is not the same. A more successful tour. 1:58:42.440 --> 1:58:45.280 I'll be clean, right, one more successful tour. I'm clean 1:58:45.360 --> 1:58:47.080 with money. I don't have to worry about money, and 1:58:47.160 --> 1:58:54.720 then I'll just be reckless as fuck like Tubac wouldn't right. 1:58:54.920 --> 1:58:57.520 We love the guys, and then we're not being the 1:58:57.600 --> 1:58:59.840 guys we loved. Why the fuck? I worked out with 1:58:59.880 --> 1:59:02.800 a Sports and Egg the other day and he was 1:59:03.000 --> 1:59:07.280 the fucking movie star. He's everything you wanted. No, no, no, 1:59:07.360 --> 1:59:10.240 he didn't shoot me up. He uh we worked out, 1:59:10.320 --> 1:59:12.840 but you watched him be a movie star. He was 1:59:12.880 --> 1:59:16.600 a He's not an actor. He'll be buck, but he's here. 1:59:16.680 --> 1:59:18.000 But this is the thing about Tupac. 1:59:18.400 --> 1:59:21.400 I would I would be glad to not see Tupac 1:59:21.640 --> 1:59:23.480 with all those antics to still be here today, because 1:59:23.480 --> 1:59:24.840 I think he would have been even greater. 1:59:25.000 --> 1:59:27.240 Okay, okay, okay, he got deep, he got deep, he 1:59:27.320 --> 1:59:29.720 got deep on, he got deep. It's a great that's 1:59:29.760 --> 1:59:35.080 a great conversation. Because that's a great conversation. That's probably 1:59:35.200 --> 1:59:38.839 super dangerous to have right now. Yeah, fucking hammered, Dave Chappelle, 1:59:40.680 --> 1:59:44.560 Let's get out of there, Dave Schappelle, Jamie Fox, fuck 1:59:45.080 --> 1:59:48.440 just take a shot. Fucking well. I mean god, I 1:59:48.520 --> 1:59:51.360 mean you, I mean you're separating two bodies of work 1:59:51.520 --> 1:59:54.280 exactly you're talking about. You know, I could see this 1:59:54.600 --> 1:59:57.120 in the same field a private screening of the full 1:59:58.240 --> 2:00:01.160 episodes with him. Oh you know what you oh, you 2:00:01.240 --> 2:00:04.600 know the accident you ever like you watch the of 2:00:04.680 --> 2:00:08.560 course when he got taken down and then all of 2:00:08.600 --> 2:00:10.840 a sudden put back up and I was like, taken 2:00:10.920 --> 2:00:16.360 down version. Yeah, I like that, Jimmy Fox, Jamie Fox 2:00:16.720 --> 2:00:18.080 doesn't get his roses enough. 2:00:20.720 --> 2:00:23.800 We're going to visit Jamie Boxes. Oh yeah, I even 2:00:23.800 --> 2:00:26.600 though I heard he's home already. I heard pick up ball. 2:00:27.640 --> 2:00:30.760 We don't know what's going on, but I tell you 2:00:33.840 --> 2:00:36.480 the Chapelle do we you can talk about it? Would 2:00:36.480 --> 2:00:39.640 you like that? Would the episode is got has my 2:00:39.920 --> 2:00:42.080 my favorite joke. I've ever seen a stand up Kicker 2:00:42.120 --> 2:00:44.120 in the pussy. It's my favorite joke I've ever seen 2:00:44.120 --> 2:00:46.440 a stand up It's my favorite joke. And look, I 2:00:46.480 --> 2:00:49.120 can like complex jokes, I can like simple jokes. It's 2:00:49.200 --> 2:00:51.040 just a great joke because he got me, he got me, 2:00:51.440 --> 2:00:54.360 and and Dave Japelle is a fucking gangster. When when 2:00:54.400 --> 2:00:57.920 he goes on stage he's flawless. Man, I'm a writer, 2:00:58.080 --> 2:01:01.040 died for him. Whatever. He I love that dude too, 2:01:01.040 --> 2:01:03.000 will know you da. We had a pleasure at him. 2:01:03.000 --> 2:01:05.640 We had and he was he was a great host. 2:01:08.280 --> 2:01:10.600 Maybe y'all know Drink Chance wants to give flowers while 2:01:10.640 --> 2:01:13.440 people are here to receive them given flowers and celebrating 2:01:13.480 --> 2:01:15.840 our legends while they can still smell them. We have 2:01:15.960 --> 2:01:18.640 partnered with What the Flower to create this movement where 2:01:18.720 --> 2:01:21.120 everyone can give flowers to the legends in their lives. 2:01:21.560 --> 2:01:23.880 You can now order a custom flower box for the 2:01:23.960 --> 2:01:27.600 someone you want to show appreciation to by visiting www 2:01:27.800 --> 2:01:31.120 dot wt flower dot com and place your orders. 2:01:31.440 --> 2:01:36.320 Now. I love's baby watching man. I appreciate it. You know, 2:01:36.520 --> 2:01:38.320 this may more than any award that you can get 2:01:38.760 --> 2:01:40.920 on some real ship, because it means that you appreciated 2:01:40.960 --> 2:01:43.360 by your peers. You appreciated by the people that you 2:01:43.480 --> 2:01:51.080 do it for. And not accept my flowers with So 2:01:51.600 --> 2:01:54.200 you gonna go to the next one? Uh huh No, no, no, no, 2:01:54.320 --> 2:01:57.680 I got this one. Jack Daniels or Blue Label Jack 2:01:57.760 --> 2:02:01.840 danielss every single day. So that's your everyday drink Jack, 2:02:02.040 --> 2:02:05.400 Like if it is, I'll tell you what, it's my 2:02:05.520 --> 2:02:08.520 commuter drink, like the drink that I that I know 2:02:08.640 --> 2:02:10.360 that will get me from point A to point B. 2:02:11.200 --> 2:02:15.120 It's my bus, it's my train, it's my helicopter. It 2:02:15.240 --> 2:02:18.200 gets me to where I need to be. It tastes 2:02:18.520 --> 2:02:21.760 pretty nice, and it is with ice, not that bad. 2:02:22.040 --> 2:02:25.560 I don't like cocon it. They're not gonna have no, no, no, no, 2:02:25.720 --> 2:02:27.800 I can cook. They don't have Jack. They're not gonna 2:02:27.800 --> 2:02:31.800 have Jmo. They're not gonna have your tequila. They're not 2:02:31.960 --> 2:02:35.360 gonna have your vodka. You say Jamie, Jamison, Jamison, They're 2:02:35.360 --> 2:02:38.040 not gonna have Jamison. He's saying the average spot everywherever 2:02:38.080 --> 2:02:40.520 you go, you're gonna have, they will have Jack Daniels. 2:02:40.800 --> 2:02:43.560 Jack Daniels is a reliable. Jack Daniels is a chick 2:02:43.800 --> 2:02:45.640 that shows up to your house with no panties on. 2:02:48.040 --> 2:02:52.200 Jack Daniels sponge. Jack Daniels sucks your dick before you 2:02:52.360 --> 2:02:56.280 fuck and then puts a sponge in Jack Daniels. Jack 2:02:56.400 --> 2:02:59.280 Daniels is out of bed before you wake up, and 2:02:59.480 --> 2:03:03.640 you go, wait whe where she went? Jack Daniels is 2:03:03.720 --> 2:03:06.960 the drink you're texting before you go to the barging, like, so, wait, 2:03:07.080 --> 2:03:09.680 just what are you up to tonight? Jack Daniels is 2:03:09.760 --> 2:03:12.640 there for you. She's your rider, it's your midnight me 2:03:13.240 --> 2:03:19.720 for dose some egos, dose cossack down. That's the fucking chicken. 2:03:20.080 --> 2:03:22.360 Where's panties? I want to see you in the panties 2:03:22.400 --> 2:03:25.720 and brawl together because it's a matching sad. I don't 2:03:25.720 --> 2:03:28.960 want to see that. I just want to fuck Jack Daniels. 2:03:29.120 --> 2:03:37.120 Fucks Jack Daniels bugs. That's that'll never use. I think 2:03:37.240 --> 2:03:38.800 Jack Daniels will put a finger in your ass and 2:03:38.800 --> 2:03:43.760 you go, okay, all right, let's see how it works. 2:03:44.800 --> 2:03:47.320 More rocks though, play with the rocks a little bit. 2:03:48.080 --> 2:03:55.040 You want to go raise this question? Eminem or Jack Harlow. Huh, 2:03:55.360 --> 2:03:57.800 eminem or Jack Harlow. I don't know. I don't know 2:03:57.840 --> 2:04:00.720 who Jack Harker was. I know, I know, but I 2:04:00.800 --> 2:04:03.240 know he's a thing. But I don't know. I don't know. 2:04:03.440 --> 2:04:05.000 I don't I know that he like goes to Kentucky 2:04:05.080 --> 2:04:07.400 Derby and stuff. They're like, I don't know, I don't 2:04:07.480 --> 2:04:11.480 like with Drake he goes to Kentucky Derby. I'm apologize 2:04:11.480 --> 2:04:19.200 if I'm fucking canceling myself. So Carlo is really awesome. 2:04:19.240 --> 2:04:27.600 I'm just fifty Mike Epps are Chris Sucker Man. I 2:04:27.680 --> 2:04:30.160 want to tell a story right now. No, no, no, 2:04:34.000 --> 2:04:36.640 if you think, if you think, if you think Tracy 2:04:36.720 --> 2:04:39.680 Morgan hates me, Mike Gaps will fucking hate Wait. Wait 2:04:39.720 --> 2:04:42.840 what happened, dude? I used to I used to legit 2:04:42.960 --> 2:04:45.840 party with my Gaps like he was a fun dude. 2:04:46.040 --> 2:04:47.960 He is the by the way, back in the day 2:04:48.480 --> 2:04:51.800 before my GPS, when I watched Mike Aps on stage, 2:04:52.240 --> 2:04:56.800 Mike Gaps is I think from Atlanta via Ohio. Maybe yeah, Ohio, 2:04:56.880 --> 2:05:00.120 I think yeah, yeah, Okay, I think he's meant I'm 2:05:00.120 --> 2:05:03.600 gonna land. We all. Gaps was the dude that he 2:05:04.520 --> 2:05:07.440 was cool, Like he was a cool fucking guy, and 2:05:07.560 --> 2:05:10.160 he would hang out with you and he would just talk. 2:05:10.280 --> 2:05:12.680 He was not like I met I met him in 2:05:12.760 --> 2:05:16.480 ninety eight ninety nine, so like he wasn't any anything 2:05:16.560 --> 2:05:19.200 at the time, but he was just super talented. He 2:05:19.360 --> 2:05:24.160 did a bit about uh selling candy bars as a 2:05:24.400 --> 2:05:27.880 young young kid to white people. That was the one 2:05:27.920 --> 2:05:29.880 of the funniest bits. I've never laughed hard in my 2:05:30.040 --> 2:05:32.440 entire fucking life. My Gaps and we used to legit 2:05:32.600 --> 2:05:35.560 hang out and legit party. I'm sure he doesn't remember 2:05:35.640 --> 2:05:38.920 me because I was just some young opening over my comic. 2:05:39.360 --> 2:05:43.680 But man, that guy is the coolest dude in the 2:05:44.080 --> 2:05:46.400 coolest dude. So you're not telling us the story is basically, 2:05:46.520 --> 2:05:48.640 I'm not gonna say that we did right because you're 2:05:48.760 --> 2:05:55.920 just you say it so badly, so bad. This motherfucker. Mike, Mike, 2:05:56.600 --> 2:06:00.480 You're welcome. I love you, brother. Your secrets safe with me. 2:06:00.800 --> 2:06:06.160 Where'd you guys meet? New York? New York? He was, yeah, club, 2:06:06.200 --> 2:06:08.000 you hang out at the back of the end, and 2:06:08.120 --> 2:06:11.120 he was just He's just the most awesome dude. I 2:06:12.200 --> 2:06:14.520 regret ever telling any story about Tracy Morgan. It's the 2:06:14.520 --> 2:06:16.560 reason I don't tell stories about my gaps. He's a 2:06:16.680 --> 2:06:21.160 fucking badassitude. He was in your uh it's right, my gap, Yeah, yeah, 2:06:21.480 --> 2:06:24.640 back in the day. Yeah dude. And did you watch 2:06:24.680 --> 2:06:28.160 his Drink Champs. His Dream Champs is hilarious. Drink Chances hilario. Yeah. 2:06:28.240 --> 2:06:29.760 And when he tells the trunk story, I think it 2:06:29.800 --> 2:06:32.080 was Was it the first time he told that story? No, 2:06:32.280 --> 2:06:34.920 he told us it was hilarious. Killed it where he 2:06:35.000 --> 2:06:37.920 said he got kidnapped and did when he knew he 2:06:38.040 --> 2:06:39.320 was funny. He knew when he. 2:06:39.320 --> 2:06:41.240 Knew he was funny, He said, got kidnapped, drug dealers, 2:06:41.320 --> 2:06:44.240 put him in the trunk, and as they was driving 2:06:44.320 --> 2:06:47.320 off the drug dealers, they was playing a song and 2:06:47.440 --> 2:06:49.680 then the song went off and he said, hey, play 2:06:49.760 --> 2:06:50.160 that again. 2:06:51.320 --> 2:06:56.040 You got you gotta watch this episode of Drink like 2:06:56.160 --> 2:06:58.560 you kidnapped? You telling him you're requested a song? He 2:06:58.560 --> 2:07:01.520 said it way funny. He said, yeah, yeah, I can't 2:07:01.560 --> 2:07:04.600 believe I'm here like this is crazy. Thanks for being here. 2:07:05.600 --> 2:07:09.280 Rock him or chavras one, rock him, rock him without 2:07:09.280 --> 2:07:11.160 a doubt. I used to listen to him every single 2:07:11.240 --> 2:07:15.280 day I drove to high school. Uh, this is a 2:07:15.440 --> 2:07:18.560 journey in this sound. Do do do do do do? 2:07:19.200 --> 2:07:24.960 Be rock? I mean that I that every day my 2:07:25.120 --> 2:07:29.480 sophomore year. Isn't that Eric being Rockieric being rock? Fifty 2:07:30.120 --> 2:07:34.560 for Candy Shop? Oh yeah, a lot of people. Yeah, yeah, dude, 2:07:34.560 --> 2:07:36.920 they got the fifty to my, my, my, my high 2:07:36.960 --> 2:07:42.200 school goes. It's gotta go. Uh. DJ jameson Fresh Prints. 2:07:43.080 --> 2:07:47.360 I know, man, he gets a lot of ship right now. 2:07:48.360 --> 2:07:52.240 I fucking love that guy. I'm right, we'd love to 2:07:52.280 --> 2:07:54.360 have drink Champs. You know the story about when I 2:07:54.360 --> 2:07:55.800 thought he wanted to suck me in the ass. 2:07:55.720 --> 2:07:58.240 Right, tell us I've heard something about it, but go ahead. 2:07:58.320 --> 2:08:00.920 Never mind, no, no, no, no, listen, man, you can't 2:08:01.120 --> 2:08:02.960 know they're all these stories and feeling back. 2:08:03.160 --> 2:08:05.960 Okay, hold on, I'm gonna be honest because we've had 2:08:05.960 --> 2:08:09.680 a lot of story right. I've actually never heard this story, 2:08:09.720 --> 2:08:12.040 but I'm so into it. I mean, obviously, can you 2:08:12.320 --> 2:08:17.400 not tell us Will Smith? Will Smith the movie theater ship, 2:08:18.360 --> 2:08:20.560 so like, it's a good story, it's a good So 2:08:22.280 --> 2:08:24.320 I'm doing a stand up. I'm doing stand up in 2:08:24.400 --> 2:08:27.280 New York and I and I uh and his team 2:08:27.360 --> 2:08:29.360 sees me to stand up and they're like, yo, I 2:08:29.400 --> 2:08:31.160 think we can do a deal with you, like a 2:08:31.240 --> 2:08:33.480 development deal. You gotta meet Will. So I was like, 2:08:33.560 --> 2:08:35.600 fuck yeah. Now, I'm a big Will Smith fan. I 2:08:35.920 --> 2:08:39.560 am my. We watched Fresh Prince on Monday nights, me 2:08:39.600 --> 2:08:43.560 and my dad. His music. I gotta be honest with 2:08:43.640 --> 2:08:46.280 the people shoot on his music. I love that on 2:08:46.360 --> 2:08:48.440 my street. It is one of my favorite rap songs. 2:08:48.680 --> 2:08:53.040 Good storytelling legends. Yeah, he's just fresh principal. So so 2:08:53.160 --> 2:08:58.600 I meet Will at uh uh. It's up in the 2:08:58.680 --> 2:09:01.880 upper Upper West Side. It's a uh beef factory, hip 2:09:01.920 --> 2:09:06.000 factory and uh the studio studio. Yeah, the HiT's doing Millennium, 2:09:06.560 --> 2:09:10.800 and we they set up two folding chairs in the 2:09:11.040 --> 2:09:13.560 in a dance studio and they're like, Will's gonna be 2:09:13.600 --> 2:09:15.680 in in a second. So I sit down on one 2:09:15.680 --> 2:09:18.240 of the dance chairs in the dance studio. He comes in. 2:09:18.320 --> 2:09:20.360 He's a ball of personality, you know, he's just just 2:09:20.480 --> 2:09:22.800 like you know. All I remember him saying is one love, 2:09:22.840 --> 2:09:24.240 and I was off to the races. I'm going to 2:09:24.280 --> 2:09:25.800 get this guy like me so I can get a 2:09:25.880 --> 2:09:28.320 development deal. I'm like, first of all, I love hip hop, 2:09:28.480 --> 2:09:30.920 I love you. I love black people. You're black like 2:09:31.000 --> 2:09:34.280 I love. I'm like, I'm off to the story. This 2:09:34.320 --> 2:09:38.200 story is hilarious. You got and so uh we thought 2:09:38.480 --> 2:09:40.960 I talked every one of your story. This story is hilarious. 2:09:41.000 --> 2:09:43.080 I talked to him for thirty minutes and at the 2:09:43.200 --> 2:09:44.840 end he goes, I like you. I go, I like you. 2:09:45.440 --> 2:09:47.280 He goes, what are you doing tonight? I said nothing, 2:09:47.760 --> 2:09:50.160 and he goes, let's go to the movies. I go great, 2:09:50.720 --> 2:09:53.680 and he goes cool and then he walks out get 2:09:53.720 --> 2:09:55.720 it and he goes, I'll meet you at I'll meet 2:09:55.760 --> 2:09:58.360 you at and meet you at playing at Hollywood at 2:09:58.400 --> 2:10:01.760 seven o'clock and I was like, cool, late New York LEO. 2:10:02.080 --> 2:10:03.760 And so I get in the car. I called my dad. 2:10:03.840 --> 2:10:05.440 My dad goes, how to go. I go, went good, 2:10:05.520 --> 2:10:06.720 and he goes, really, I said, we're going to the 2:10:06.720 --> 2:10:12.360 movie Yeah. My dad goes huh. I said, yeah, you go, 2:10:12.840 --> 2:10:14.640 I'm going to movies with him. He goes on a date. 2:10:15.320 --> 2:10:18.680 I go, no, it's Will Smith and he goes, oh, buddy, 2:10:18.680 --> 2:10:22.920 I'm so sorry. He goes this is called the casting couch. 2:10:23.120 --> 2:10:25.960 Like a lot of these celebrities, they're so tired of 2:10:26.040 --> 2:10:28.320 pussy that the only thing that turns them on is 2:10:28.360 --> 2:10:31.600 the look in the boy's eyes will turn them. That's 2:10:31.640 --> 2:10:33.440 what he's doing with you. And I said, hold on, Dad, 2:10:33.520 --> 2:10:36.440 that's impossible. I just spent an hour with this man 2:10:36.520 --> 2:10:39.000 in a dance studio. My dad goes on dance studio. 2:10:39.080 --> 2:10:41.680 I go, hold on. My dad says to me, but 2:10:41.840 --> 2:10:45.760 it's more likely that you're so talented, the biggest movie 2:10:45.760 --> 2:10:48.000 star in the world wants to make a sitcolm with 2:10:48.120 --> 2:10:51.320 you as you as a star, or or that he's 2:10:51.400 --> 2:10:53.840 tired of pussy. And I went, oh fuck, I'm getting 2:10:53.880 --> 2:10:57.560 fucked in the ass. I go, shit, what do I do? 2:10:57.680 --> 2:11:01.640 My dad goes, show up, show up, He shit cash checks, buddy. 2:11:02.200 --> 2:11:04.640 I could be wrong. I could be wrong, but I 2:11:04.720 --> 2:11:06.640 need to like, you're my only son. I need you 2:11:06.720 --> 2:11:07.960 to give you a heads up. So I show up 2:11:08.000 --> 2:11:11.360 to play in Hollywood, which you didn't even know there 2:11:11.440 --> 2:11:13.000 was a theater. I didn't even know. I walked in. 2:11:13.240 --> 2:11:15.240 I know, I totally. I'm supposed to be a movie 2:11:15.280 --> 2:11:18.160 with Will Smith. She's like, huh, I go Will Smith. 2:11:18.240 --> 2:11:19.760 She goes, he's in the back. She sends me around 2:11:19.800 --> 2:11:22.440 the mannequins. I go, no, no, like real, Will Smith goes, 2:11:22.720 --> 2:11:25.840 movie starts, don't go to planet home. So I'm like, 2:11:25.880 --> 2:11:27.760 can I wait for him? She goes, yeah, knock yourself out. 2:11:28.000 --> 2:11:31.640 So I sit in the lobby and uh dude comes 2:11:31.680 --> 2:11:35.520 out six seven, big dude, and he's like you Burt. 2:11:35.800 --> 2:11:40.240 Name's Charlie Mack. I go, he goes you Bert. I 2:11:40.360 --> 2:11:43.960 said yeah, and he goes downstairs. I'm like, oh my god, 2:11:44.520 --> 2:11:46.960 I gotta fuck this guy too. This is gonna be 2:11:47.560 --> 2:11:50.160 this is gonna be a long fucking night Will Smith 2:11:50.240 --> 2:11:53.560 and him. He takes me downstairs. There's ten black dudes 2:11:53.720 --> 2:11:56.400 in a room with a big white table, phony table 2:11:56.440 --> 2:11:59.120 in the middle. No. Will Smith turns all around and 2:11:59.200 --> 2:12:01.520 I'm like, okay, thirteen black dudes, because you know he's 2:12:01.520 --> 2:12:04.240 bringing Jazzy Jeff. It's so good to me, Charlie Mack, 2:12:04.280 --> 2:12:07.160 Jase Jeff these Tampa. I don't make eye contact with anyone. 2:12:07.480 --> 2:12:10.080 I just sit there and look at my feet. And 2:12:10.160 --> 2:12:12.400 then Will Smith shows up. I swear to God with 2:12:12.600 --> 2:12:15.240 Jazzy Jeff. I swear to God. I swear to God. 2:12:15.280 --> 2:12:17.720 He brings and he's got the fucking glasses on, and 2:12:17.800 --> 2:12:19.680 I'm like, oh my god, here we go. I'm like 2:12:20.040 --> 2:12:21.840 in my head, I'm like I'll start talking their cocks. 2:12:23.160 --> 2:12:25.040 All of a sudden, the curtains opened behind us, and 2:12:26.360 --> 2:12:28.520 here's a legit movie theater. And Will's like, oh, grab 2:12:28.640 --> 2:12:31.000 us two seats. What do you want? And I was like, uh, 2:12:31.720 --> 2:12:33.840 what are you getting? He was like long lst and 2:12:33.920 --> 2:12:36.080 then shrimp and I was like cool. And then we 2:12:36.600 --> 2:12:40.560 got shrimp and we ate drank drinks, and then at 2:12:40.560 --> 2:12:42.120 the end of the movie watched American Pie. And at 2:12:42.160 --> 2:12:44.200 the end of the movie he goes Lean's in. He goes, 2:12:44.400 --> 2:12:46.440 what did you think? I said, what do you mean? 2:12:46.880 --> 2:12:48.360 He's what did you think about? The room. I was like, 2:12:49.040 --> 2:12:52.840 it's nice. You know the people I go there, they're 2:12:53.040 --> 2:12:56.280 they're black. Is that you're asking him me? And he goes, no, 2:12:57.600 --> 2:12:59.960 you said you were a hip hop fan. Look around 2:13:00.120 --> 2:13:04.200 the room. That's cool OD, that's biz Marquis, that's Big 2:13:04.280 --> 2:13:06.960 Daddy Kane. I'm like, I could have fucked kol O 2:13:07.120 --> 2:13:12.600 d I mean, it was like the coolest fucking experience. 2:13:12.640 --> 2:13:14.720 And he was And I say this to the dad ie, 2:13:15.040 --> 2:13:17.320 he was the coolest fucking dude I'd ever hung with. 2:13:18.360 --> 2:13:20.840 I saw his dick like I I, yeah, it was. 2:13:21.320 --> 2:13:24.120 We took a piss. This is the best. Come on. Okay, 2:13:24.160 --> 2:13:30.640 all right, all right, one more Will Smith story. The 2:13:30.960 --> 2:13:34.560 we we go into ABC to pitch it first TV 2:13:35.800 --> 2:13:40.760 and this isn't your worst press, Will the Uh, I mean, 2:13:41.000 --> 2:13:44.200 this isn't what it's going to break his career. We 2:13:44.320 --> 2:13:46.280 go into ABC to sell show to the lady named 2:13:46.320 --> 2:13:49.480 Jamie Tarsus and uh, I've never sold any show. I've 2:13:49.520 --> 2:13:52.200 never been in a Hollywood meeting at at all. I'm 2:13:52.320 --> 2:13:55.320 so nervous. I'm twenty five years old. I'm terrified, twenty 2:13:55.320 --> 2:13:57.400 six years old, and I have to take a piss. 2:13:57.480 --> 2:13:59.840 And Will Smith says, I gotta take a piss. I'm 2:13:59.840 --> 2:14:02.400 going in the bathroom with you. So we go stall 2:14:02.440 --> 2:14:04.280 a stall right right next to each other. He gets 2:14:04.360 --> 2:14:07.760 right on me, elbow to elbow, elbow to elbow, and 2:14:07.920 --> 2:14:13.640 Will Smith unleashes a fucking tsunami of piss. Do you 2:14:13.680 --> 2:14:15.760 ever know when you someone pisses and as loud as fuck, 2:14:15.800 --> 2:14:18.280 you're like, how big is that guy's dick? I mean 2:14:18.320 --> 2:14:20.960 it's so loud. No, you never you never hurt someone 2:14:21.000 --> 2:14:23.200 else's piss when you were like ten, and you're like, 2:14:23.440 --> 2:14:26.840 I need a cough like that. It's so loud. I 2:14:27.000 --> 2:14:29.520 cannot focus on pissing. And I get gunshop Have you 2:14:29.560 --> 2:14:34.200 ever got guns? And I can't piss, and Will Smith 2:14:34.440 --> 2:14:38.440 proceeds to tell me the secret of Hollywood. He goes, 2:14:38.520 --> 2:14:40.840 here's what you need to know. And all I'm thinking 2:14:41.000 --> 2:14:44.240 is start pissing, Start pissing, start pissing. I can't piss. 2:14:44.520 --> 2:14:47.040 Finally actual place where I go. All right, if I 2:14:47.080 --> 2:14:48.640 can't piss next to this guy, I can't sell a 2:14:48.760 --> 2:14:50.560 TV show next to this guy. So I was like, 2:14:50.680 --> 2:14:52.880 fuck it, you better learn how to piss. And I 2:14:53.000 --> 2:14:55.560 start pissing, and all I hear from Will Smith is 2:14:56.680 --> 2:14:59.840 just be yourself. That's all I heard. That's all I heard. 2:15:00.080 --> 2:15:01.840 And then we went in and we sold like fucking 2:15:02.560 --> 2:15:05.160 three shiitcoms. But he wasn't talking about you be yourself 2:15:05.160 --> 2:15:07.200 so you could piss. No, no, no, he was just 2:15:07.600 --> 2:15:10.400 me Hollywood advice. He was the fucking best man. He 2:15:10.520 --> 2:15:12.080 was the best. I love that dude. Make a noise 2:15:12.120 --> 2:15:17.560 for Will Smith and my boy, Charlie Mack, all the 2:15:17.640 --> 2:15:19.600 legends that you were. Charlie Mack called me when I'm 2:15:19.600 --> 2:15:23.120 the drunkest. I don't know why, like whenever I'm drunkest 2:15:23.200 --> 2:15:24.680 in my life, Charlie Max just called me. He was 2:15:24.760 --> 2:15:28.320 something I would imagine is he disappointed with I'm not sure. 2:15:28.400 --> 2:15:30.120 I'm not sure. I can't call this now. 2:15:30.160 --> 2:15:34.160 He's a legend, Charlie the next one, not a Chile 2:15:37.120 --> 2:15:43.120 all right, national lampoon or Christmas vacation. I think it's 2:15:43.120 --> 2:15:45.800 the same thing, Christmas. 2:15:47.480 --> 2:15:52.760 I guess they're just meaning not Christmas vacation. Come on, man, 2:15:53.240 --> 2:15:57.840 write there say that, say national Christmas vacation or something. 2:15:58.240 --> 2:16:00.200 Come on, man, we're not reading three lines now. I'm 2:16:00.200 --> 2:16:03.440 not gonna lie. You guys are up by the way, 2:16:03.640 --> 2:16:05.720 all right, So chrisification of some of the cases. You 2:16:05.760 --> 2:16:13.400 guys sound like David Letterman interviewing Little Wayne. So, how 2:16:13.520 --> 2:16:14.960 do you come over with your hip hop ro. 2:16:21.320 --> 2:16:21.360 So? 2:16:21.480 --> 2:16:25.200 How do you come up with this? You're taking a 2:16:25.240 --> 2:16:30.480 shot that Yeah, I'm fucking hammered. Yeah yeah. Time is it? 2:16:30.840 --> 2:16:34.120 The time? Is our flight so solid? You flop private? 2:16:36.360 --> 2:16:40.400 Jet blue? So no pictures today? Huh? What is it? 2:16:40.720 --> 2:16:46.280 Jet blue? Gott mint? Is it mint? Jet Blue meant mint? Yeah? 2:16:46.480 --> 2:16:48.840 I gonna lie, don't you? Jet Blue? Oh yeah, they 2:16:48.879 --> 2:16:52.280 got sleeper beds. She never had? Couldn't. What is that? 2:16:52.440 --> 2:16:54.760 That's a monster drink? I have no idea. Yeah, we 2:16:54.920 --> 2:17:00.200 come up. We provided it. Shut up. Monsters have a 2:17:00.480 --> 2:17:07.160 monster rinks. And I love his core rehab. Oh yeah, 2:17:07.160 --> 2:17:10.120 here's his rehab. I gave him a special one. Okay, love, 2:17:10.200 --> 2:17:14.520 I would love hold on? Can I rehab? This is 2:17:14.600 --> 2:17:16.720 the greatest idea I've ever heard of my life. Can 2:17:16.760 --> 2:17:18.720 we can we open a rehab together where we show 2:17:18.760 --> 2:17:21.560 people how to drink? Hold on? Let's do let's do 2:17:21.680 --> 2:17:23.760 three pitches of our rehabs. Okay, I let me give 2:17:23.760 --> 2:17:27.320 you my rehab. I have. I have two rehabs because 2:17:27.360 --> 2:17:29.280 I think of one. I would like a nice white 2:17:29.280 --> 2:17:33.880 wine marijuana rehab. That sounds like a rehab, right, you 2:17:33.959 --> 2:17:36.080 can have white wine up until the sunsets and then 2:17:36.160 --> 2:17:39.000 smoke marijuana, but you are edible if you don't smokereible, 2:17:39.240 --> 2:17:42.600 have white wine up until the sunsets and then marijuana 2:17:42.680 --> 2:17:45.080 after sunset until you go to bed, and that's your rehab. 2:17:45.520 --> 2:17:50.480 Or or what about a rehab where it's all doctor 2:17:50.520 --> 2:17:54.680 administered and they bring you in and it's for sober 2:17:54.800 --> 2:17:58.080 people who just want to sparkle one more time, one 2:17:58.160 --> 2:18:00.400 more time, so you bring them in and the like yo, 2:18:00.520 --> 2:18:04.800 it's controlled like drunkenness. How about we bring them in 2:18:04.840 --> 2:18:07.600 there and we just shotgun them to death. No, you're 2:18:07.680 --> 2:18:09.880 ruining it, bro, No we get like you you're not, 2:18:11.320 --> 2:18:14.000 You're gonna get I tested this cocaine. There's no there's 2:18:14.080 --> 2:18:17.760 no fentanyl in it. And we're clean cocaine, clean cocaine. 2:18:17.760 --> 2:18:21.200 It's ice clean, ice clean in a sponge room, dude 2:18:21.720 --> 2:18:25.080 with a massuse. I want, I want, I would love 2:18:25.200 --> 2:18:28.320 there's I fantasize about rehab because how much fun it 2:18:28.360 --> 2:18:30.560 would be just to like dive into yourself and like 2:18:31.000 --> 2:18:32.880 and I love I love it. Doing a couple of 2:18:32.920 --> 2:18:36.160 days not drinking, but I also want the tap out. 2:18:36.360 --> 2:18:38.640 I want the tap out of going like, hey man, 2:18:38.720 --> 2:18:41.600 I'm cool day as sunset is too beautiful. I'm drinking, 2:18:41.959 --> 2:18:44.760 and then them to go, yeah, you're in like a 2:18:45.000 --> 2:18:49.640 Xanax rehab. You ever take san x nah takes x 2:18:49.720 --> 2:18:52.800 too much? Me, It's so good. 2:18:53.680 --> 2:18:56.240 I ain't gonna lie. He left his book bag over 2:18:56.959 --> 2:18:59.560 my house and I went into it. I was I 2:18:59.680 --> 2:19:02.960 was like this, this white phobia is real. Like he 2:19:03.120 --> 2:19:04.840 had every bill I'm ever. 2:19:05.879 --> 2:19:09.040 You should see my back here. Oh my god. I 2:19:09.200 --> 2:19:12.120 immediately was like, back up at my back back it 2:19:12.160 --> 2:19:16.800 looks like fucking Texas Buyers Club. It's bad. I got steroids, 2:19:16.840 --> 2:19:19.600 I got spider mans, I got steroids. I got you 2:19:19.680 --> 2:19:21.600 guys can need to get on steroids. Right, Have you 2:19:21.680 --> 2:19:25.760 done ayahuasca? No, let's do let's all go to O's 2:19:26.000 --> 2:19:26.440 in the jug? 2:19:28.200 --> 2:19:28.400 Huh? 2:19:29.400 --> 2:19:32.400 What is that? It's just you gotta pack it, bro, 2:19:32.720 --> 2:19:34.320 Just look at what you got that what it is? 2:19:35.200 --> 2:19:38.400 Got a mushroom? You definitely got mushrooms. You want mushrooms? 2:19:38.400 --> 2:19:39.840 You got it? No, I got a fly tonight, I 2:19:39.920 --> 2:19:42.880 gotta be you. Cay Mark Hamill is seven in the morning. 2:19:43.240 --> 2:19:48.360 I mean, must Lookucker moved in the mushroom. You know 2:19:48.520 --> 2:19:51.640 he's I'm supposed to be a grown up tomorrow. This 2:19:51.840 --> 2:19:53.840 is a you know, this is a treat for me. Like, 2:19:53.920 --> 2:19:55.680 I know this is part of my press tour, but 2:19:55.840 --> 2:19:58.440 this is a treat for me. Just enjoy this so much, 2:19:59.520 --> 2:20:02.680 boss you just so you know you are the drinking god. 2:20:03.320 --> 2:20:09.760 This is ridiculous. Did I do this? Look pretty much? 2:20:10.160 --> 2:20:12.680 This is mine? What the fuck are we doing? This 2:20:12.959 --> 2:20:14.520 is you know if my wife saw this, she'd be like, 2:20:14.600 --> 2:20:16.879 we need to have a conversation line. Oh fuck, it's 2:20:16.879 --> 2:20:19.400 big up, Leanne. Shout out to Leanne. I got new 2:20:19.480 --> 2:20:20.720 pictures of It's awesome. 2:20:22.080 --> 2:20:22.280 I do. 2:20:22.480 --> 2:20:24.240 I do. She never let me take the new pictures 2:20:24.240 --> 2:20:26.240 of her, and she let me the other night were 2:20:26.280 --> 2:20:29.600 his shutters and I did. She looks so fucking good. 2:20:29.640 --> 2:20:32.280 I want to show someone so someone goes like, I 2:20:32.360 --> 2:20:35.760 know that's not how it works to show someone. I'm 2:20:35.760 --> 2:20:38.520 not gonna show anyone, but I do want you to 2:20:38.560 --> 2:20:41.800 be like. I want you to be like, oh all right, 2:20:41.879 --> 2:20:46.680 look so Borius and that's it. He's promoving. He's like 2:20:46.800 --> 2:20:53.720 Tom will Farwell or Adam Sandler. Adam Sandler, Bill Blur, 2:20:54.320 --> 2:20:58.160 Bill Burr, Bill Hayter, I Price said that one wrong 2:20:58.240 --> 2:21:05.360 too with Bill Burd Tracy Logan on Steve Harvey. Fuck 2:21:06.440 --> 2:21:09.280 that just got added. No no, no, no, no, it's 2:21:09.280 --> 2:21:16.680 in the middle. Serious. I drink on that one right there? 2:21:19.200 --> 2:21:23.640 Another one scar Face, scarface or who you know? Leonna 2:21:23.640 --> 2:21:25.960 and I fucking first, fuck the Scarface is the fix? 2:21:27.560 --> 2:21:32.240 Damn you guys fixed trick Daddy in the Fix came 2:21:32.280 --> 2:21:35.000 out at the same time Trick Dady Stars album, Trick 2:21:35.160 --> 2:21:38.360 Daddy's He's saying album Thug Holiday and scar Face is 2:21:38.400 --> 2:21:41.120 the Fix the same time. Should have done Trick Daddy's 2:21:41.120 --> 2:21:44.880 Food Show while you were here, man. Yeah, at some 2:21:44.959 --> 2:21:47.440 point I'm grab Leanna and I had that was Those 2:21:47.480 --> 2:21:50.080 were our two love songs. Tell the DJ to play 2:21:50.120 --> 2:21:54.880 another classic backing up at the drums, ain't blads, Wow, 2:21:55.080 --> 2:21:59.880 three bitches in the already took so he said, scarfacing, Well, 2:22:00.400 --> 2:22:04.200 come on, drink, drink already already. I wasn't even listening 2:22:04.560 --> 2:22:08.800 Goffe's ice cube. Oh fucking scarface by drink Yeah, n 2:22:08.959 --> 2:22:13.920 w a o wu tang, Oh fucking drink at the we. 2:22:17.200 --> 2:22:19.160 We got a couple more left. 'm going to finish it. 2:22:19.240 --> 2:22:22.959 Up yay O, Pharrell, Kanye me Bro. 2:22:23.640 --> 2:22:27.360 Shop for Kanye, shop for So doctor Dre or Puff Daddy, 2:22:27.879 --> 2:22:30.840 doctor Dre, Doctor Dre. I'm sorry, Puff, I want to 2:22:30.879 --> 2:22:33.000 party with these so bad. You get the next one? 2:22:33.560 --> 2:22:38.440 Jack Black or Danny McBride. Oh fuck, that sucks. And 2:22:38.520 --> 2:22:41.600 Jack Black's just started following me on Instagram. Damn it. 2:22:43.040 --> 2:22:51.000 Why can't. It's Danny McBride all fucking day. McBride. He 2:22:51.680 --> 2:22:55.760 unleashed a thing in like crazy white dudes that like 2:22:55.920 --> 2:22:59.440 we all were like fuck and he bringing the mullet back. Brother, 2:22:59.600 --> 2:23:02.320 brung the mullet back. You're taking a shoffer, Jack taking 2:23:02.320 --> 2:23:06.240 a gangster. But Danny mcdride bride all fucking day you no, no, 2:23:06.440 --> 2:23:09.360 he put the mullet back. I'm a fan of the mullet. 2:23:10.520 --> 2:23:12.320 You should. You should do it just just for fun. 2:23:12.959 --> 2:23:15.440 I like I like your shot. You you've been waiting 2:23:15.800 --> 2:23:18.000 want the whole time. I like it. 2:23:18.240 --> 2:23:18.560 I like it. 2:23:18.640 --> 2:23:21.720 I've been waiting for it. It's cool. Yeah, the black mullet. 2:23:21.760 --> 2:23:23.920 You want me to do black. I'm Puerto Rican too, 2:23:24.000 --> 2:23:26.560 so you're gett Listen. When I grow my hair, I'm 2:23:26.600 --> 2:23:28.360 half black, half Querto Rican. When I grow my hair 2:23:28.400 --> 2:23:31.080 out my head. Get curly so you can get a bullet. 2:23:31.120 --> 2:23:36.680 You got a mullet, curly, mothery, I hate to bathe 2:23:36.680 --> 2:23:39.080 your heart. I think a Puerto Rican mullet is called 2:23:39.280 --> 2:23:54.760 legal swabbing. Dude, I bet he's still but yeah, I 2:23:54.800 --> 2:24:00.800 believe in Living Color or Mad TV, in Lovon Color 2:24:00.920 --> 2:24:05.200 without a doubt with in Levon Color. Okay, I like that. Okay, 2:24:05.240 --> 2:24:07.160 this last one for this part of the segment that 2:24:07.200 --> 2:24:08.560 we're going to switch it up a little bit, but 2:24:08.920 --> 2:24:12.200 for two more hours of just not too much explain 2:24:12.240 --> 2:24:13.760 with you. We know you got to kids to playing. 2:24:14.959 --> 2:24:18.160 This is the only on this list that I feel 2:24:18.200 --> 2:24:20.200 like it is not a trick. All the other ones 2:24:20.280 --> 2:24:24.160 with tricks not tricks in my opinion. Loyalty or respect. 2:24:28.640 --> 2:24:31.520 You know, I've heard you asked this before and I've 2:24:31.840 --> 2:24:35.360 answered it in the shower like I've been like I know, 2:24:35.480 --> 2:24:39.040 I know. I just remember, I like to put you 2:24:39.080 --> 2:24:41.920 guys on. I leave you guys on, so I just 2:24:42.160 --> 2:24:46.400 walk on my phone with you guys. Plan Uh, Loyalty respect, 2:24:46.480 --> 2:24:52.240 So the answer my answer is is respect, because no 2:24:52.360 --> 2:24:55.440 one's loyal, No one's ever loyal. They all they all 2:24:55.800 --> 2:24:58.440 turn on you. Everyone turns on you. You have a 2:24:58.520 --> 2:25:01.080 handful of rider dies that you can trust for the 2:25:01.120 --> 2:25:05.400 rest of your life, and even then, you're gonna have 2:25:05.480 --> 2:25:08.879 people in your team that fuck with them. They try 2:25:08.920 --> 2:25:13.199 to get you to not trust them, So you can't 2:25:13.320 --> 2:25:16.720 ever trust loyalty. You just can't. You just just can't. 2:25:17.800 --> 2:25:22.120 Respect is a big fucking deal. When people respect you, 2:25:22.200 --> 2:25:24.720 they treat you different. I've seen it. You remember what 2:25:24.760 --> 2:25:28.640 it was like to not be someone and then all 2:25:28.640 --> 2:25:30.640 of a sudden you were someone, and then all of 2:25:30.640 --> 2:25:33.080 a sudden, like people you didn't know treated you nicer, 2:25:33.520 --> 2:25:35.440 and you were like, well, this is really cool. I've 2:25:35.480 --> 2:25:39.680 never experienced this. I would love to sit here on 2:25:39.760 --> 2:25:42.840 this podcast and say that I care about loyalty. I 2:25:42.879 --> 2:25:46.080 will be as loyal to like handful of people in 2:25:46.160 --> 2:25:50.200 my life that I love. Ultimately, you fire people that 2:25:50.320 --> 2:25:54.119 you love you. I mean, dude, yeah, respects the thing. 2:25:54.520 --> 2:25:56.040 I've heard you ask this question before, and I got 2:25:56.080 --> 2:25:57.600 in the shower and I literally thought about it in 2:25:57.680 --> 2:25:59.560 the shower. I was like, yeah, you have a weird 2:25:59.600 --> 2:26:01.360 place to think about it, But I was like, loyal 2:26:01.400 --> 2:26:03.560 to respect, it's got to be respect. I'm not gonna 2:26:03.600 --> 2:26:03.880 lie to you. 2:26:03.959 --> 2:26:06.240 You kind of change my perspective because I've had that 2:26:06.360 --> 2:26:09.600 situation too, where it's people where I really. 2:26:09.560 --> 2:26:13.119 Showed loyalty too that didn't show me respect. Dude, I've 2:26:13.160 --> 2:26:16.240 been fucked by friends, by good friends, but I've been 2:26:16.280 --> 2:26:18.760 fucked by them, the guys that you are like, we 2:26:18.800 --> 2:26:22.400 don't need to sign a contract, you know, yeah, handshakes 2:26:22.640 --> 2:26:24.360 and then all of a sudden money shows up. And 2:26:24.400 --> 2:26:27.400 then and then things get weird and you're like, oh, 2:26:27.879 --> 2:26:30.000 maybe if you respected me more, you would have treated 2:26:30.040 --> 2:26:32.440 me differently, because I know that that's how they treated 2:26:32.480 --> 2:26:35.240 other people. So it kind of fucking sucks. I'll tell 2:26:35.240 --> 2:26:40.160 you this, Like fucking Rogan's a dude. I can't say 2:26:40.200 --> 2:26:43.320 this enough about the guy, but like he's a guy 2:26:43.760 --> 2:26:48.720 that like is is respect based. If he respects you, 2:26:48.840 --> 2:26:50.400 he fucks with you, and if he doesn't respect you, 2:26:50.720 --> 2:26:52.959 he doesn't fuck with you. And so it's a weird 2:26:53.040 --> 2:26:56.520 thing because you you you practice to maintain that respect. 2:26:57.400 --> 2:27:00.560 You don't you don't talk shit about him, like you 2:27:00.680 --> 2:27:03.200 you you you're careful with your words around because I 2:27:03.240 --> 2:27:05.640 can talk about my friends, but like I know, he's 2:27:05.720 --> 2:27:09.520 my guy, right and every one of his friends is 2:27:10.400 --> 2:27:13.920 fucking killing it. Anyone he funks with kills it. So right, 2:27:14.320 --> 2:27:20.840 God man, I'm fucking wasted, But let me ask you. Shoot, shoot, 2:27:21.600 --> 2:27:23.360 I'm wasted, but let me ask me see let me 2:27:23.400 --> 2:27:27.280 see which one I'm gonna go with. Okay, I want 2:27:27.280 --> 2:27:31.880 to be you guys and not flying sweet. Okay, So 2:27:32.000 --> 2:27:39.879 you said asshole, dick and balls is the Middle East? Yeah? Yeah? 2:27:40.440 --> 2:27:45.040 What does that mean that the Middle East? The Middle 2:27:45.080 --> 2:27:49.280 East is the asshole? Well, it's it's it's it's it's 2:27:49.320 --> 2:27:52.320 a I might be too stupid to say this. The 2:27:52.400 --> 2:27:56.160 double entendre is it's the uh, it's the birthplace of 2:27:56.200 --> 2:27:59.920 the world, right in reality, Like in reality red basket, 2:28:00.080 --> 2:28:02.160 the breadbask the world is where the world started. So 2:28:03.360 --> 2:28:05.880 asshole digging balls, I should have said posty. But like, 2:28:06.360 --> 2:28:09.840 it's the fucking place that created the world. That is Mesopotamia, 2:28:09.959 --> 2:28:14.760 right with Africa. Right, Yeah, but I also imagine I've 2:28:14.800 --> 2:28:17.000 been I've never been there, but I imagine it doesn't 2:28:17.040 --> 2:28:21.360 smell the best. I'm sure. Yeah, there's places that smell 2:28:21.480 --> 2:28:23.160 just fine. Oh no, there's not. There's a lot of 2:28:23.160 --> 2:28:25.000 places that smell really, but if you travel a lot 2:28:25.240 --> 2:28:28.680 I have. Okay, tell me places have you been Vietnam. 2:28:29.520 --> 2:28:33.560 South Africa smell great. Vietnam's like a week smelling. It 2:28:33.600 --> 2:28:38.040 smelled different. It's different different. No, No, Vietnam smells crazy, 2:28:38.160 --> 2:28:41.040 like it's like so many flavors coming. It's different and 2:28:41.160 --> 2:28:45.160 everyone's energy is like I love Vietnam. My dad found 2:28:45.200 --> 2:28:47.000 the war, so I went to literally where you fought. 2:28:47.080 --> 2:28:49.240 Have you been to Japan? No, yes, okay, So then 2:28:49.280 --> 2:28:52.920 you go to Japan. It's opposite Vietnam. So when you 2:28:52.959 --> 2:28:53.720 travel around. 2:28:53.640 --> 2:28:55.879 Way, it's the first time I've been in Japan. I've 2:28:55.920 --> 2:28:59.120 seen cleaning crewl three times. Like well, I've been in 2:28:59.240 --> 2:29:01.439 Japan in a the cleanest, cleanest. 2:29:01.120 --> 2:29:03.960 Gas in Japan. No one speaks on the subways. They 2:29:04.000 --> 2:29:06.240 all hold hands and they just don't speak. Then you 2:29:06.280 --> 2:29:10.040 go to Vietnam and it's fucking putting fingers in Your're 2:29:10.040 --> 2:29:15.680 the Cubans of Southeast Asia for there, Sure, they're loud Cuban. 2:29:15.800 --> 2:29:18.600 They're the Cuban. I'm Cube. I can pull them all. 2:29:18.640 --> 2:29:21.280 My best friends are Cuban. So like I'm really good 2:29:21.320 --> 2:29:27.320 at like so, so then let's not do so. Then 2:29:27.400 --> 2:29:31.560 what are the Mexicans Because because when we moved to Atlantic, 2:29:31.600 --> 2:29:34.120 when we moved Tola my best friend was Cuban and 2:29:34.280 --> 2:29:36.680 he did not in La so I was raised around 2:29:36.800 --> 2:29:40.200 some Mexican So then if if, because because this is 2:29:40.320 --> 2:29:42.600 not stuff white guys should be saying out loud. But 2:29:42.720 --> 2:29:45.360 like one of the things is when Cubans stepped foot 2:29:45.440 --> 2:29:48.120 on this country, they're American citizens, right with the Mexicans. 2:29:48.280 --> 2:29:51.160 When Mexicans just stepped foot in this country, they're not American. 2:29:50.879 --> 2:29:54.760 Citizens, right, even though there's in Old Mexico, which is why, 2:29:54.879 --> 2:29:56.440 which is wild. 2:29:56.760 --> 2:30:00.680 And my buddy was super privy, like he witnessed the difference, 2:30:00.760 --> 2:30:04.280 like he would say to me, I've never seen more 2:30:04.280 --> 2:30:08.280 people speak in Spanish like Miami people speak Spanish. Hyaliah, 2:30:08.280 --> 2:30:11.800 it's only Spanish. Yeah yeah, But in Florida Cubans don't 2:30:11.800 --> 2:30:14.280 speak Spanish in front of like they did they would 2:30:14.280 --> 2:30:17.720 speak English. They don't know English and high and Miami 2:30:17.840 --> 2:30:20.040 is different. But in like, oh yeah, you know, the 2:30:20.120 --> 2:30:24.560 Cubans when they graduate to being American, they start moving north. 2:30:24.600 --> 2:30:27.119 By the way, this ship amazes me more than anything, 2:30:27.320 --> 2:30:30.440 Like I love talking about this because so fascinating. So 2:30:30.720 --> 2:30:34.119 he was like when we moved to La he was like, dude, 2:30:34.640 --> 2:30:37.160 Mexicans speaks Spanish, like we're in Miami, Like they don't 2:30:37.200 --> 2:30:40.040 speak they'll speak Spanish in front of white people. Yeah, 2:30:40.080 --> 2:30:43.560 it was crazy, But what do you think the Mexican does? What? 2:30:43.680 --> 2:30:46.320 It was like, what's their country in the world? In Asia? 2:30:48.720 --> 2:30:50.400 I don't know, bro Cambo, what do you I don't know. 2:30:50.440 --> 2:30:52.840 I really don't know that. I can't have to think 2:30:52.879 --> 2:30:54.720 about that. Let me ask you. So, all of a 2:30:54.840 --> 2:31:00.920 Stone bought your life, right? The seg is amazing of cocaine. 2:31:01.240 --> 2:31:02.840 And you thought that they tried to get you high 2:31:02.840 --> 2:31:03.959 of cocaine to die. 2:31:04.360 --> 2:31:10.160 So you yeah, yeah, yeah, Oliverstone is a wild actually 2:31:10.280 --> 2:31:12.280 a segue from Vietnam to Oliver Stone to. 2:31:14.000 --> 2:31:18.360 Connect. Really, I was a journalistic. That's a really good story. 2:31:18.840 --> 2:31:21.600 So we ended up we ended up with body Hilton, 2:31:22.360 --> 2:31:29.120 the No No No, the Carlisle, cocaine everywhere, a pilot cocaine, 2:31:29.680 --> 2:31:30.840 and a penthouse suite. 2:31:32.040 --> 2:31:35.160 And I was sitting with one of the writers and 2:31:35.280 --> 2:31:37.320 he was like, so, what's your story? How does this end? 2:31:37.840 --> 2:31:40.240 And I was like, I don't know. He's like, what's 2:31:40.320 --> 2:31:41.960 the end of the story. And I was like, I 2:31:42.040 --> 2:31:44.360 have no fucking idea, And he's like, we should do 2:31:44.440 --> 2:31:47.080 more cocaine, and so we kept doing cocaine to get 2:31:47.120 --> 2:31:49.560 an idea. And we had just I just seen the 2:31:50.520 --> 2:31:53.879 the the premiere of the movie Magnolia with Tom Cruise, 2:31:54.440 --> 2:31:56.800 and I'm sitting in this the Argyles, the name of 2:31:56.800 --> 2:31:59.120 the hotel, the Argyle, and we're doing cocaine in the 2:31:59.160 --> 2:32:02.680 penthouse and uh. And I end up in the bathroom 2:32:02.879 --> 2:32:05.800 and there was a private entrance from the elevator to 2:32:05.840 --> 2:32:08.520 the lobby, and so I was like, and you get 2:32:08.520 --> 2:32:10.280 the fuck out of here. I go. I think they're 2:32:10.280 --> 2:32:12.080 trying to kill me. I think they're trying to kill me. 2:32:12.120 --> 2:32:13.600 To get the end of the story is that I 2:32:13.680 --> 2:32:17.120 die in a hotel in Hollywood. And I asked so 2:32:17.200 --> 2:32:20.960 many Hollywood actors it happens. Yeah, yeah. So I got 2:32:21.040 --> 2:32:23.000 in the hotel, I got in the elevator, hit the elevator, 2:32:23.040 --> 2:32:25.320 I got down to the floor. I'm highest on cocaine. 2:32:25.640 --> 2:32:29.440 I start walking down Sunset Boulevard and I and I 2:32:29.560 --> 2:32:35.600 walked past Marky Mark from the Fat Boys, No No, No, 2:32:39.000 --> 2:32:42.720 and the Fat Boys, not Markey, Marcus Prince Mark. I 2:32:42.760 --> 2:32:43.800 don't call him Mary Mark. 2:32:44.360 --> 2:32:46.800 You know, I think you got hip hop went away. 2:32:47.840 --> 2:32:51.640 I love you and you are killing it right down 2:32:51.959 --> 2:32:58.119 in my book. No, no, no, no, I don't call. 2:33:00.800 --> 2:33:03.440 J Todd. I called him to the real names. My 2:33:03.600 --> 2:33:06.800 warbur is my friend. He buged me in with Paddock Flip, 2:33:06.840 --> 2:33:08.520 even though they didn't give me a watch yet. 2:33:08.680 --> 2:33:10.920 Phelipe's a hard watch. Yet it's a hard one. I 2:33:10.959 --> 2:33:12.480 got to talk him on Constantine. I don't know if 2:33:12.520 --> 2:33:13.760 you know overseas turbion. 2:33:13.800 --> 2:33:15.160 You know what I'm saying. I don't know. I don't 2:33:15.160 --> 2:33:15.560 know if you know. 2:33:15.879 --> 2:33:18.840 I've I heard you got that listen he got, he got, 2:33:18.879 --> 2:33:21.600 he got depend on I wanted. I got pan in 2:33:21.640 --> 2:33:24.040 the car right outside what I mean? So I tried 2:33:24.080 --> 2:33:25.600 to get that. I wasn't successful. 2:33:25.840 --> 2:33:29.000 No. I I saw Mark Wahlberg on the street in 2:33:29.120 --> 2:33:32.720 a V neck white T shirt. After thought you were 2:33:32.760 --> 2:33:34.840 being murdered. After I thought it was being murdered. I was. 2:33:35.000 --> 2:33:37.680 And I'm not good with celebrities, and uh and I 2:33:37.840 --> 2:33:39.600 just I was high as fucking I was like Marky Mark. 2:33:39.920 --> 2:33:42.000 He didn't call him marky Mark. I called him marky Mark. 2:33:42.080 --> 2:33:44.120 And if I see him tomorrow, I call him marking Mark. 2:33:44.240 --> 2:33:46.000 You think I'm gonna he doesn't like it? Right? You 2:33:46.040 --> 2:33:48.320 think I'm gonna call him? I don't give a calling 2:33:48.400 --> 2:33:51.120 him mister Mark Warburg. Yes you are, Yes, I am. 2:33:51.280 --> 2:33:53.800 I'm overstart. I mean, let me tell you something. I 2:33:53.840 --> 2:33:55.959 see the Rock, I call him the Rock. I see 2:33:56.000 --> 2:33:57.760 Marky Mark, I call him Marky Mark. Do you see 2:33:57.800 --> 2:34:02.760 good vibrations when you see him? Come on, come on 2:34:04.640 --> 2:34:09.320 my pants and my ankle and showing my underwear. That 2:34:09.480 --> 2:34:13.760 a good song. Dude, he's a fucking dude. He's a legend. 2:34:14.040 --> 2:34:18.279 He's Dirk Diggler. True, he gotta. If he doesn't respect 2:34:18.320 --> 2:34:20.840 the game, he's put out, then he's not. He's not 2:34:20.959 --> 2:34:22.640 enjoying it the way he should. He has a great 2:34:22.680 --> 2:34:25.400 sekille as well. Yeah he does. What's his skiller? See, 2:34:25.440 --> 2:34:27.720 that's where we're fucked. That's why I think. Can I 2:34:27.800 --> 2:34:31.400 tell you our brand needs to be recovery because we 2:34:31.480 --> 2:34:33.879 did the show every fucking day. We party every fucking day. 2:34:34.080 --> 2:34:36.680 These guys don't drink every day, the Rock Mark, they 2:34:36.680 --> 2:34:39.520 don't drink every day. Yeah, we need to be in recovery, 2:34:39.680 --> 2:34:42.800 that's right. We need to be doing ivs and fucking 2:34:43.400 --> 2:34:51.080 and and fucking vitamins and and proteins. Whatever the thing 2:34:51.680 --> 2:34:56.360 needs to be is our thing in Iahuasca too. If 2:34:56.400 --> 2:34:59.000 you could give me a low grade ayahuasca, A low 2:34:59.080 --> 2:35:02.440 grade am I coffee. I want to take you to 2:35:02.600 --> 2:35:06.240 the jungle in Mexico. Let's do a documentary, I mean 2:35:06.360 --> 2:35:12.360 us three. I mean, let's do it, and then we 2:35:12.440 --> 2:35:15.840 do a podcast as we're tripping, and I was about 2:35:15.879 --> 2:35:20.600 that you can bringing after Yeah yeah, because I don't 2:35:20.640 --> 2:35:23.000 know what this ship is. It's actually very therapeutic, to 2:35:23.040 --> 2:35:27.080 be honest. I heard how people it is. That's how 2:35:27.120 --> 2:35:29.440 people get off. He do it, and you're sitting on 2:35:29.480 --> 2:35:33.200 a mud. I'm scared. Actually, I'm terrified because my boy 2:35:33.280 --> 2:35:36.600 city saw big as cobra trying to kill him. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, 2:35:36.680 --> 2:35:38.360 that's tie it up for right now. I'm gonna be 2:35:40.080 --> 2:35:41.920 One time I took a mess tab and I was 2:35:41.959 --> 2:35:45.480 on a sea saw by myself. I didn't know how 2:35:45.520 --> 2:35:48.680 I went up. And now I just I just tell 2:35:48.680 --> 2:35:52.280 you I would I would, I would not. I do 2:35:52.400 --> 2:35:54.520 not want to do ayawaska. Come on, shigne up with 2:35:54.600 --> 2:35:56.960 you guys. Let's go guys. By the way, I don't 2:35:57.000 --> 2:36:01.200 want to do a canoe. Yeah, I don't want to. 2:36:01.200 --> 2:36:03.359 Do ayahuasca, but I just want to have an experience 2:36:03.640 --> 2:36:06.520 that I got to say, Holy moly, we did it, and. 2:36:06.600 --> 2:36:10.760 Then let's I love that you say that, But let 2:36:10.800 --> 2:36:14.080 me ask you, because it is crazy. Go your daughter 2:36:14.280 --> 2:36:18.840 got teeth done and you cried on Whitney, let me 2:36:18.879 --> 2:36:21.440 tell you what you mean you got teeth. Let me 2:36:21.480 --> 2:36:23.000 tell you a story, and then you tell me when 2:36:23.040 --> 2:36:24.720 we have to get out of here. Let me tell 2:36:24.720 --> 2:36:30.440 you the story. She's been saying it. You're crying. You're 2:36:30.440 --> 2:36:33.240 doing what my wife does. I tell you, I know 2:36:33.360 --> 2:36:37.080 you are. You're telling the story. Yes, I told you so, Georgia, 2:36:37.080 --> 2:36:40.120 I'm my oldest. Uh tripped in a pair of crocs. 2:36:40.400 --> 2:36:44.240 Don't ever wear crocs. They're bad. Broke her jaw, all 2:36:44.280 --> 2:36:47.400 the teeth in the top and bottom. Leanne calls me, 2:36:47.920 --> 2:36:51.080 it's bad fucking news. We need to go a new surgeon. 2:36:51.400 --> 2:36:54.120 We have a meeting on Monday morning. They think they 2:36:54.160 --> 2:36:55.880 can do it. We got to put her under. It's 2:36:55.879 --> 2:36:59.440 super dangerous because it's a baby. Oh baby, Oh shoot 2:36:59.480 --> 2:37:01.880 baby shoes I three years old? Four years old? Oh 2:37:01.920 --> 2:37:04.800 my god. Yeah, And so I'm a mess. I'm a mess. 2:37:05.000 --> 2:37:07.720 Leanne tells me take a Xanax before you even go in, 2:37:08.080 --> 2:37:10.640 because I don't want to know what you dude, bro 2:37:11.600 --> 2:37:15.160 bro right. I mean like, I'll ship on her all 2:37:15.200 --> 2:37:17.600 day long, but she's a fucking bad bitch. Yes, yes, 2:37:17.959 --> 2:37:23.120 So I takes I go in. I'm not good at 2:37:23.160 --> 2:37:24.879 six in the morning. It's like before they even open, 2:37:25.600 --> 2:37:30.040 So bring Georgia in. They're like, we're gonna have to 2:37:30.080 --> 2:37:32.960 put her under. They can't find a vein. When I 2:37:32.959 --> 2:37:36.400 say put it under, that means yes, they can't find 2:37:36.400 --> 2:37:37.800 a vein. They're going in and in and in, and 2:37:37.840 --> 2:37:41.280 there's and and it's not fine one. So they say 2:37:41.320 --> 2:37:43.879 to me, hey, listen, we're gonna need to give her gas, 2:37:43.959 --> 2:37:47.080 but we need her breathing evenly, so like, can you 2:37:47.520 --> 2:37:49.040 We need you to talk to her. You need to 2:37:49.080 --> 2:37:51.360 get her breathing evenly so that we can put the 2:37:51.400 --> 2:37:53.560 gas mask on her Jesus. And I'm like, I'm like, 2:37:53.640 --> 2:37:55.520 hey man, I'm not super trained for this, Like I'm 2:37:55.560 --> 2:37:59.000 an alcoholic. I just took annex, like this isn't my 2:37:59.240 --> 2:38:02.280 strong suit. And they're like, hey, I remember the lady 2:38:02.360 --> 2:38:04.960 going be a daddy, be a daddy, And I'm like, okay, okay, 2:38:05.200 --> 2:38:08.440 so I line up. I'm like, all right, George, it's 2:38:08.480 --> 2:38:10.959 everything's gonna be fine. We're gonna fix your mouth. It's 2:38:11.040 --> 2:38:13.480 totally fine. You're gonna What we're gonna do is we're 2:38:13.480 --> 2:38:17.560 gonna they need to knock out, but we need to 2:38:17.920 --> 2:38:21.360 mask on her and she needs to breathe. Yes, so 2:38:21.640 --> 2:38:24.520 I said, I go, it's okay, I need you to 2:38:24.879 --> 2:38:26.880 just take deep breaths with me. We're gonna breathe together, 2:38:27.280 --> 2:38:28.800 and then you're gonna sleep. And then she looks at 2:38:28.800 --> 2:38:30.000 me and she goes, what if I don't wake up? 2:38:30.000 --> 2:38:32.720 And I go, that's a great question. Hold on, hey, guys, 2:38:32.760 --> 2:38:34.400 if she doesn't wake up, what happens is we take 2:38:34.440 --> 2:38:35.840 the body with us. And I'm like, oh, this is 2:38:36.000 --> 2:38:38.160 I'm starting to fucking flip out now, okay, okay, I 2:38:38.360 --> 2:38:41.279 hold on, hold on, and then they just we breathe, 2:38:41.320 --> 2:38:43.160 We put a mask on her, and she goes out 2:38:43.200 --> 2:38:48.320 and I start, uh sobbing uncontrollably, uncontrollably so bad that 2:38:48.400 --> 2:38:49.640 they move me out of the room, put me in 2:38:49.680 --> 2:38:53.320 the bathroom. I'm crying in the bathroom so bad. I'm 2:38:53.360 --> 2:38:55.480 in there for like five minutes, and I'm just laughing 2:38:55.520 --> 2:38:58.760 at how bad, how vulnerable I am. I never thought 2:38:58.760 --> 2:39:00.600 it was a man that they'll a woman I would 2:39:00.680 --> 2:39:03.400 pick would put me in this situation, because now I'm 2:39:03.480 --> 2:39:06.720 fucking aut there. I go into the fucking waiting room 2:39:07.320 --> 2:39:09.720 and it's now it's full. It's like the room's open. 2:39:10.080 --> 2:39:14.920 I'm crying uncontrollably. My wife's next to me, she's crying. 2:39:15.080 --> 2:39:17.240 There's a kid in there. He's like he's looking at Dad, 2:39:17.280 --> 2:39:19.119 like I thought you said it wasn't going to be that, Pat. 2:39:20.520 --> 2:39:22.680 There's a black chick and she's looking at me and 2:39:22.760 --> 2:39:24.960 she's trying to calm me down the way you know, 2:39:25.120 --> 2:39:27.040 like you've seen the Matrix, you know how black chick 2:39:27.080 --> 2:39:29.360 can calm my white dude down like he is talking 2:39:29.400 --> 2:39:35.360 to Chip Coche Fine, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a 2:39:35.400 --> 2:39:41.320 deep dive. It's a deep so you go, what, I'm 2:39:41.360 --> 2:39:43.600 not having it. I'm crying so bad, my vision's blurry. 2:39:43.640 --> 2:39:46.000 I'm a mess. We are in the waiting room with 2:39:46.160 --> 2:39:49.120 me and my wife crying uncontrollaby for about ten minutes 2:39:49.560 --> 2:39:51.720 and then they come out and they're like, your daughter's 2:39:51.800 --> 2:39:58.920 out the room. Applauds. They're like, thank god. We go back. Yeah, 2:39:59.400 --> 2:40:01.880 they're like thank oh god. They're fine. Okay. We go 2:40:02.040 --> 2:40:04.080 back to the receiving room, which is like a leather 2:40:04.160 --> 2:40:08.400 couch and a curtain. There's an expensive Dennis in Beverly Hills. 2:40:09.000 --> 2:40:12.640 And we sit down with Georgia and she calls on 2:40:12.680 --> 2:40:15.879 her mouth it's crazy. All of a sudden, the curtain 2:40:15.959 --> 2:40:21.600 opens and it's the black chick, Whitney Houston. You knew 2:40:21.600 --> 2:40:23.640 it was Whitney other side. I did not. I did not. 2:40:24.320 --> 2:40:26.680 She puts her arm on me. She goes, it's tough 2:40:26.800 --> 2:40:32.040 being a daddy, and I'm like, it's Leanne drops Georgia 2:40:32.080 --> 2:40:36.680 on the ground. She sits down with Georgia and LeAnn 2:40:36.800 --> 2:40:40.520 and Leanne and strokes Georgia's hair and talks to her 2:40:40.520 --> 2:40:42.480 about being a mom, about how hard it is being 2:40:42.520 --> 2:40:44.840 a mom. They never grow up, they never grow up 2:40:44.879 --> 2:40:46.760 for you. They're always your babies. And we sat with 2:40:46.840 --> 2:40:50.280 her for like five fucking minutes. And then and then 2:40:50.320 --> 2:40:55.400 we heard the doctor go missus Houston. She's like, all right, 2:40:55.520 --> 2:40:59.160 I'm going in. The reason we got the antesthesiologist is 2:40:59.160 --> 2:41:03.520 because Whitney Houston one of the anstesiologists. And so then yeah, 2:41:03.920 --> 2:41:05.920 and then we go to pay for the ansthesiologists. It's 2:41:05.959 --> 2:41:08.039 paid for when used and covered it all. We didn't 2:41:08.040 --> 2:41:10.400 pay for it. We didn't pay for it. Yeah, and 2:41:10.480 --> 2:41:15.199 then and then the anesthesiologist goes, where's mister Costner these days? 2:41:15.480 --> 2:41:17.720 And I hear Winnie Houston, O put me the fuck 2:41:17.879 --> 2:41:26.880 under the body guy. She was over that. Oh I 2:41:26.920 --> 2:41:30.440 get it. I know my head. Did we finish the bottle? 2:41:30.640 --> 2:41:34.600 We we almost finished? We almost finished. We got to finish. 2:41:35.120 --> 2:41:40.720 I got another rehabit you need it. I'm drinking. Yeah, yeah, No. 2:41:40.760 --> 2:41:43.400 Winnie Houston was a very sweet lady. She her teeth 2:41:43.440 --> 2:41:46.800 looked beautiful, she looked perfect. She perfect. This is when 2:41:46.879 --> 2:41:50.119 Georgia must have been three. So whatever that was, but yeah, 2:41:50.240 --> 2:41:54.760 must have been tough. Yeah. One thing I noticed about you, 2:41:55.840 --> 2:42:00.280 it's uh predominantly you know, blacks, and that tea knows 2:42:00.320 --> 2:42:04.760 we stick to one drink. Do whiskey, that's it. Yeah, 2:42:06.040 --> 2:42:09.720 do champagne, that's it. One thing I know about you. 2:42:10.520 --> 2:42:14.520 You can mix it up, so you can. If I 2:42:14.640 --> 2:42:16.800 was the bust of champagne open, you could get down 2:42:16.920 --> 2:42:22.040 the champagne. Yeah, I'm the un of alcoholism. I like 2:42:22.120 --> 2:42:25.840 it all. I like it all. Ship pain love a 2:42:25.920 --> 2:42:27.880 cold beer of cod beer, I got one for you. 2:42:28.280 --> 2:42:30.360 I love a cold beer. I love a champagne. I 2:42:30.440 --> 2:42:32.160 love a rose. I never said no to a rose. 2:42:32.360 --> 2:42:37.680 How about a jega Maestu. That's interesting. We're introducing the Nazis. 2:42:38.400 --> 2:42:41.920 Got you know my favorite little f ball? I got fireballs. 2:42:42.080 --> 2:42:45.000 I love fireball. I used to think fireball wasn't a 2:42:45.080 --> 2:42:48.040 drink because it's a breath fresh. I was like, yeah, 2:42:48.040 --> 2:42:51.120 it's a breath So we used to do to be 2:42:51.160 --> 2:42:52.520 honest with you guys, I want to be honest with 2:42:52.560 --> 2:42:55.480 you both, that's real alcoholic ship. Yeah. I was like, 2:42:55.600 --> 2:42:59.000 I was like, that was a your breath due. I 2:42:59.040 --> 2:43:01.800 remember this girl was like at the at my club. 2:43:01.959 --> 2:43:04.080 At the club I was doing and we used to 2:43:04.120 --> 2:43:06.119 do tops off shots, so if you had your top off, 2:43:06.160 --> 2:43:08.760 you could do shots for like half off, so everyone 2:43:08.879 --> 2:43:11.640 was naked. Everyone was naked. Oh yeah, top off? You 2:43:11.720 --> 2:43:13.959 top you mean top off? I wish I could show 2:43:13.959 --> 2:43:17.480 you the picture. You'd be like okay, and uh. But 2:43:17.600 --> 2:43:19.320 she's like, I'm going to drink the machine under the 2:43:19.360 --> 2:43:21.200 table tonight. And I was like, I was like, Oh, 2:43:21.480 --> 2:43:23.400 you don't know anything about me. I haven't started drinking. 2:43:23.440 --> 2:43:26.080 I don't drink on stage. I barely drink on stage. 2:43:26.080 --> 2:43:28.880 I noticed that, didn't I say? That? Didn't I say? 2:43:29.160 --> 2:43:31.480 And so I drank her under the table and they 2:43:31.560 --> 2:43:34.800 carried her out shirtless in the snow, and I walked 2:43:34.879 --> 2:43:36.760 out to her as they were bringing out to the car, 2:43:36.760 --> 2:43:38.960 and I was like, I whispered, there, I go you okay, 2:43:39.160 --> 2:43:41.480 she goes, I'm fine. I said, you have your time tonight. 2:43:41.560 --> 2:43:43.720 She goes. I did thank you so much. I said, hey, 2:43:43.800 --> 2:43:46.320 I'll never fucking forget I'm the fucking machine. 2:43:47.280 --> 2:43:50.520 As soon as they said norway, he's going to challenge 2:43:50.560 --> 2:43:50.800 you to. 2:43:50.920 --> 2:43:54.440 Drink and I'm not. I'm not that guy with drinking 2:43:54.560 --> 2:43:56.240 like I like to drink ap to hunt. I like, 2:43:56.840 --> 2:44:00.640 this has been, I mean, the best scenario I have 2:44:00.680 --> 2:44:02.040 ever been in my entire life. So let me just 2:44:02.040 --> 2:44:04.280 tell you something. This. This is my friend right here. Yeah. 2:44:04.520 --> 2:44:07.200 And I had to drink Champs title for so long, 2:44:07.280 --> 2:44:09.959 and he used to come to my house on Christmas, 2:44:11.480 --> 2:44:16.120 on Christmas, on Christmas, on Thanksgiving and he'll come and 2:44:16.320 --> 2:44:17.920 try to battle me and drinking. 2:44:18.240 --> 2:44:20.400 I had to make him earl out his nose. 2:44:21.200 --> 2:44:23.280 I had to make him like he wanted to battle me. 2:44:23.520 --> 2:44:26.000 And I drink with him and I made him earl 2:44:26.200 --> 2:44:32.959 out his nose. Carbones gone. Yes, yes, they can't fuck 2:44:33.240 --> 2:44:35.880 needs to grow up. They can't fuck with me. And 2:44:36.000 --> 2:44:38.600 by the way, they can't fun because. 2:44:38.440 --> 2:44:42.400 You the our god. Oh that man put that to 2:44:42.520 --> 2:44:47.200 the universe. We're making the Drunkers Drink Druggle, the Drunk 2:44:47.400 --> 2:44:56.200 Drunk Bible, the Drunk World Drunk Awards, and we do 2:44:56.200 --> 2:44:58.560 an iowas in the jungle. I can't wait. You're the 2:44:58.600 --> 2:45:01.000 only one pushing this. I think we I think we 2:45:01.120 --> 2:45:02.880 hit up celebrities when they fall out the wagon of 2:45:02.920 --> 2:45:04.800 me and you go find them and then take them 2:45:04.840 --> 2:45:08.959 on the ultimate party. Y'all got to do that. Yo're 2:45:09.000 --> 2:45:14.240 going to get your ass back because I listen, I 2:45:14.320 --> 2:45:16.720 said it earlier, and because I don't want to find 2:45:16.800 --> 2:45:19.920 nobody who actually really think they have an addiction. I 2:45:20.120 --> 2:45:24.160 just don't believe being an attict is a real world. 2:45:24.160 --> 2:45:26.119 I think that if you're in control of your life, 2:45:26.520 --> 2:45:31.480 you can actually do whatever. That's because we're like the no, no, no, 2:45:31.640 --> 2:45:33.360 you know what it is. I said, We're like, we're 2:45:33.440 --> 2:45:37.040 like skinny people talking to fat people because because we're like, 2:45:37.160 --> 2:45:39.000 we don't have a problem with it. But they got 2:45:39.080 --> 2:45:41.560 to like, as a fat person, I go, yeah, how 2:45:41.640 --> 2:45:44.080 then am I losing weight? You're skinny face the same 2:45:44.080 --> 2:45:46.120 as you, and they're skinny your I don't listen to 2:45:46.200 --> 2:45:49.920 people who's never been married giving me married advice. Yeah, 2:45:50.120 --> 2:45:51.840 so I'm not going to listen to people who never 2:45:51.920 --> 2:45:55.520 really got drunk. Oh, well, that's different. Different, that is 2:45:55.600 --> 2:45:55.960 the same. 2:45:56.240 --> 2:45:58.760 No, that is different, like people who who never just said, 2:45:58.800 --> 2:46:00.840 you're saying there's nothing, no is addiction. 2:46:00.959 --> 2:46:01.600 Of course there is no. 2:46:01.720 --> 2:46:05.160 I That's why I said I'm capful of saying that, 2:46:05.520 --> 2:46:08.040 because what I mean is, I feel like you're in control. 2:46:08.440 --> 2:46:10.320 If you are a real man, that's because that's because 2:46:10.360 --> 2:46:12.480 we are. That's because we are. That's because we are. 2:46:13.800 --> 2:46:16.160 You are. I know, I know people are, and I 2:46:16.240 --> 2:46:18.680 know I've seen people that are. Well that addiction is 2:46:18.720 --> 2:46:21.959 actually a disease. I've seen it because we are. It's 2:46:22.000 --> 2:46:26.200 a crazy thing, is that we are. And and I 2:46:26.360 --> 2:46:29.800 cannot understand it when people lose control. I don't. I 2:46:29.879 --> 2:46:31.920 don't get it. I go, I go. Don't even think 2:46:31.920 --> 2:46:34.920 about your family, or don't you think about like work 2:46:35.240 --> 2:46:38.360 or like like even tonight, I've been fairly measured with 2:46:38.480 --> 2:46:40.000 the way I drink. I know I have a press 2:46:40.160 --> 2:46:42.320 junk in the morning. I know I have a flight tonight. 2:46:42.400 --> 2:46:44.400 I know I won't drink probably much on the flight tonight. 2:46:44.600 --> 2:46:47.520 But like that's because we are. We got super fucking lucky, 2:46:47.800 --> 2:46:49.879 we got really lucky, and that we get to enjoy 2:46:49.959 --> 2:46:53.199 our ship. Like and if you're lucky, if you're lucky, 2:46:53.680 --> 2:46:56.039 enjoy your luck. Try to understand these people that I'm lucky. 2:46:56.280 --> 2:46:58.640 But like, at the same time, I get, I get 2:46:58.760 --> 2:46:59.960 exactly what you're fucking saying. 2:47:00.120 --> 2:47:02.200 But because you know what I like, I said, I 2:47:02.280 --> 2:47:04.400 feel like I know you right, even though this is 2:47:04.480 --> 2:47:06.440 my I know you so much. 2:47:06.480 --> 2:47:10.000 You got Leanne right? Who is your wife? Reminds me 2:47:10.320 --> 2:47:11.680 of Neary who is my wife? 2:47:11.720 --> 2:47:11.840 Right? 2:47:12.520 --> 2:47:15.240 Larry doesn't let me get away with nothing, but she 2:47:15.400 --> 2:47:18.480 supports the ship that she doesn't. 2:47:18.360 --> 2:47:22.800 Agree with fucking strip clubs, fucking no no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 2:47:23.240 --> 2:47:29.960 You know what you're talking about. What I'm saying is 2:47:30.080 --> 2:47:34.039 she supports my my dumb ideas, my dude genius ideas, 2:47:34.840 --> 2:47:36.119 and that's kind of all we want. 2:47:36.560 --> 2:47:39.920 And it's like, I love that, I love I love 2:47:39.959 --> 2:47:42.040 that I have a supportive wife. So is that you 2:47:42.160 --> 2:47:43.600 think a part of it? 2:47:44.200 --> 2:47:47.040 Without a doubt, my wife realized she wasn't gonna change me, 2:47:47.879 --> 2:47:49.760 she was gonna fall in love with me, and she 2:47:49.840 --> 2:47:52.440 fell in love with me, and I'm a broken dude. 2:47:52.480 --> 2:47:54.640 Like I grew up in Florida. Strip clubs are different 2:47:54.680 --> 2:47:56.880 in Florida than they are in the rest of the world. Yeah, 2:47:57.000 --> 2:48:01.240 so like so like Lene for us, for us strip clubs, Yeah, 2:48:01.640 --> 2:48:03.360 strip clubs are like an event. You go to a 2:48:03.400 --> 2:48:04.920 strip club at the end of the night. That's how 2:48:04.959 --> 2:48:07.280 you close your like church, Yeah, you got a church 2:48:07.320 --> 2:48:11.039 in the strip club. Strip club like you know, it's 2:48:11.080 --> 2:48:14.360 part of the culture and so and so I Leanne 2:48:14.440 --> 2:48:17.120 just didn't question it. She went, okay, cool, you don't cheat, right, 2:48:17.120 --> 2:48:19.240 And I was like, nope, right, you get left ask 2:48:19.560 --> 2:48:21.920 and it's cool, right, I said, it's all above board. 2:48:22.240 --> 2:48:25.600 We're all cool. Sometimes they get a little you know, 2:48:26.240 --> 2:48:29.520 but but but will Smith is in there. You don't. 2:48:29.560 --> 2:48:33.440 You won't bend it over, so she'll let you chee. 2:48:33.520 --> 2:48:36.560 What the dude? My daughter said that the other day. 2:48:36.840 --> 2:48:40.000 My daughter goes, hey, if you ever cheat on mom, 2:48:40.160 --> 2:48:42.800 I'll never speak to you again. And I go, okay, 2:48:42.920 --> 2:48:44.680 I go, what if mom cheated on me? She goes, 2:48:44.959 --> 2:48:48.720 I'd get it, and I went for real, she goes yeah, 2:48:49.160 --> 2:48:50.920 and then she goes, you know, she works really hard. 2:48:51.120 --> 2:48:54.880 She goes she goes, I get it if you cheat 2:48:54.920 --> 2:48:56.400 it with a dude, and I went for real and 2:48:56.480 --> 2:48:59.760 she goes, yeah, you're a little gay, my daughter, that's 2:48:59.800 --> 2:49:03.080 my already. Hey, you're done the stand up already? No, yeah, 2:49:03.720 --> 2:49:07.680 she ship but yeah, like like Leanne gets me, she 2:49:07.760 --> 2:49:10.920 gets my lifestyle, she gets everything. Everything. Man, that that 2:49:11.040 --> 2:49:13.360 woman trusts me and I trust her. It's like when 2:49:13.400 --> 2:49:16.080 you know, you know, I got cheated on before and 2:49:16.200 --> 2:49:18.840 I and it saw not good. But then you meet 2:49:18.920 --> 2:49:21.560 the check where you go that chick doesn't do that, 2:49:22.240 --> 2:49:25.240 and then if that's on you, your fuck forever. Leanne's 2:49:25.240 --> 2:49:27.440 that check. Like if she ever cheated on me L 2:49:27.760 --> 2:49:31.600 two three, if she ever cheated on me, I'd have 2:49:31.640 --> 2:49:34.680 to murder her. I read my whole and the dogs 2:49:34.720 --> 2:49:44.840 and then we go two dogs honestly believe her. I 2:49:44.959 --> 2:49:49.360 love it, man, I'll fucking murder that woman I love. Yeah, 2:49:49.360 --> 2:49:51.959 I put that. Put that. If I fucking love her 2:49:52.040 --> 2:49:55.600 too much, this will be used against you, This will 2:49:55.600 --> 2:49:58.680 be using against me. I fucking wasted. Yes, I gotta 2:49:58.680 --> 2:50:01.480 get on a Jeff flight. Are no, no, listen, you 2:50:01.640 --> 2:50:04.840 want to do pictures and drops and that's it. I said, 2:50:04.879 --> 2:50:10.000 You're done. Listen man, hold on, this has been the 2:50:10.160 --> 2:50:14.040 coolest thing I've ever done. Like you remember I did 2:50:14.200 --> 2:50:16.520 Rogan back in the day when it didn't matter, like 2:50:16.720 --> 2:50:19.680 this matters to me. Like you guys. I watch you 2:50:19.760 --> 2:50:23.760 guys so much. You have such are trying to give 2:50:23.760 --> 2:50:28.040 you your fly. Please. Let me just tell you. I 2:50:28.120 --> 2:50:31.480 have never seen my crew this excited. No, you know, 2:50:31.560 --> 2:50:33.360 I said to them, I said, no one will be 2:50:33.400 --> 2:50:36.840 in there because I'm not fucking damn. Actually, Jada p 2:50:37.040 --> 2:50:42.560 Casser shout like I said, no, you are. 2:50:43.160 --> 2:50:45.840 Let me just give you a prop, sir, you are 2:50:45.879 --> 2:50:49.400 absolutely wrong. I have never seen my crew show up early. 2:50:50.640 --> 2:50:53.600 They showed up early, and they all sitting there. Everybody 2:50:53.640 --> 2:50:58.160 got a bottle and we're like, chill because I can't start. 2:50:58.200 --> 2:50:59.720 I can't. I can't drink. 2:50:59.560 --> 2:51:03.000 Before I fucked this interview up if I was drinking before, 2:51:03.160 --> 2:51:06.080 so I can't drink. But boy, it was my friend 2:51:06.160 --> 2:51:10.400 Mike Booth Combos here, Oh my god, everyone Sonny D. 2:51:10.720 --> 2:51:14.000 Sonny D came with it. I'm sitting back and I'm like, no, 2:51:14.600 --> 2:51:18.120 we can't. We can't drink till he gets here. And 2:51:18.280 --> 2:51:22.160 we and by the way, not only you delivered, you 2:51:22.240 --> 2:51:28.359 went above and beyond. We really appreciate your energy, your existence, 2:51:28.600 --> 2:51:31.800 your life, everything that you're doing, your family sharing, your 2:51:31.840 --> 2:51:34.040 family stories, the secrets everything. 2:51:34.320 --> 2:51:35.800 We really appreciate you. Man like. 2:51:35.879 --> 2:51:38.400 And then I'm being honest with you, like like I said, 2:51:39.400 --> 2:51:41.680 I fell in love with you as a drinker. Afterwards, 2:51:42.080 --> 2:51:44.080 I fell in love with you as a comedian. First. 2:51:44.640 --> 2:51:46.400 You know what I'm saying. And I'm saying that straight up. 2:51:47.600 --> 2:51:50.000 Like I said, my wife said to me, I didn't 2:51:50.040 --> 2:51:53.320 have to describe you. I said, one of my favorite comedians. 2:51:53.400 --> 2:51:55.640 And she goes, oh, the white guy with no shirt. 2:51:57.480 --> 2:51:59.920 Excited. Man, listen, And I'm being honest with you. You 2:52:00.280 --> 2:52:03.600 deliver it. You did everything we wanted to do. I 2:52:04.320 --> 2:52:07.160 so much appreciate you. I so much appreciate what you do. 2:52:07.840 --> 2:52:10.200 I want you to continue to do it. Continue to 2:52:10.280 --> 2:52:10.760 go out. 2:52:10.640 --> 2:52:13.760 There with a Rolex song with no shirt, keep making 2:52:13.800 --> 2:52:15.640 this daytone up presidential. 2:52:15.800 --> 2:52:17.400 You would do whatever the fuck you want to do. 2:52:17.840 --> 2:52:19.960 Keep that watch on, because you gotta let the motherfuckers 2:52:20.040 --> 2:52:24.920 know you out here. FU. Yeah, you are out here. 2:52:25.480 --> 2:52:30.640 And in case you don't know, you are legend, your icon. 2:52:32.400 --> 2:52:37.240 Yeah yeah, yeah, these people right here is your fucking tribe. 2:52:38.000 --> 2:52:40.480 And and and and to us. 2:52:41.240 --> 2:52:44.200 You are to drink God. So in our drink Bible, 2:52:46.040 --> 2:52:48.080 that speech is the very first song. 2:52:49.640 --> 2:52:57.720 That's the genesis. Just take official d Let's finish, Let's 2:52:57.720 --> 2:53:06.119 finish drink. Let's finish the drink dr That's how comor 2:53:06.200 --> 2:53:06.640 Ball was. 2:53:07.800 --> 2:53:11.640 Drink Champs is a Drink Champs LLC production in association 2:53:11.760 --> 2:53:16.120 with Interval Presents. Hosts and executive producers n O r 2:53:16.200 --> 2:53:21.119 E and dj e FN from Interval Presents executive producers 2:53:21.240 --> 2:53:23.279 Alan Coy and Jake Kleinberg. 2:53:23.959 --> 2:53:25.039 Listen to Drink Champs on. 2:53:25.080 --> 2:53:30.200 Apple podcast, Amazon Music, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever you get 2:53:30.240 --> 2:53:33.920 your podcasts. Thanks for joining us for another episode of 2:53:34.000 --> 2:53:36.960 Drink Champs, hosted by Yours Truly, dj e FN and 2:53:37.160 --> 2:53:39.240 n O r E. Please make sure to follow us 2:53:39.280 --> 2:53:42.520 on all our socials That's at drink Champs across all platforms, 2:53:43.040 --> 2:53:47.160 at the Real noriagon ig at Noriega on Twitter, mine 2:53:47.240 --> 2:53:50.560 is at Who's Crazy on ig at, dj e f 2:53:50.680 --> 2:53:53.080 N on Twitter, and most importantly, stay up to date 2:53:53.160 --> 2:53:56.320 with the latest releases, news and merch by going to 2:53:56.440 --> 2:53:57.760 drink Champs dot com. 2:54:00.040 --> 2:54:02.920 Of God of had of It, had of It,