Speaker 1: Guess where I am right now? Where I I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to guess myself what is happening. I'm in
Speaker 1: the GTA, which I just learned about another term. It's
Speaker 1: called the Greater Toronto Area. Of course, people outside Toronto
Speaker 1: don't know what people in Toronto are talking about when
Speaker 1: they say GTA, but it was like used on me
Speaker 1: the other day. They're just like, you know, I'm in
Speaker 1: the GGA, you know, like the TMZ. I'm like what,
Speaker 1: I don't know what that means.
Speaker 2: Oh, that's really cute.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's cute. Right, you're your.
Speaker 2: Good tour guide. Hey, everybody, welcome to Zalta.
Speaker 4: I'm Michellebyte and please please welcome my what do you
Speaker 4: call me? A co from Go Jordan's my CO from
Speaker 4: Go Jordan.
Speaker 1: Well it rhymes with you, my co from Go Mischelle Buteux.
Speaker 1: Oh you love little brain games.
Speaker 5: Like this, so go ahead do it.
Speaker 4: No, I was gonna say Jordan Conchita al Roker, Missala,
Speaker 4: Gonzalese Gonzalez, Edward Jones, Jordan Carlos and associates.
Speaker 2: I just was on the phone with my bank.
Speaker 3: Oh how are they?
Speaker 4: There's nothing more embarrassing than your card not working, like
Speaker 4: just anywhere, but mainly the diner, especially when people are like,
Speaker 4: oh my god, I'm such a.
Speaker 2: Fan, and then your card's declined.
Speaker 3: The money is in there, the money's been there, get
Speaker 3: it out.
Speaker 2: I don't really have cash like that anymore.
Speaker 1: Do you.
Speaker 3: I mean?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I don't. I don't have like gold,
Speaker 1: I don't know enough money.
Speaker 2: Is this an awkward question?
Speaker 3: I'm not trying to borrow money from you.
Speaker 2: It's almost like I just asked you something personal.
Speaker 4: You're like, uh, I don't really talk about it in
Speaker 4: public like that.
Speaker 5: I don't.
Speaker 3: I don't.
Speaker 2: But what did your dad's wallet look like growing up?
Speaker 3: Like a Castanza wallet, like a brick? You know what
Speaker 3: I'm saying?
Speaker 2: Did your dad have handkerchiefs?
Speaker 1: My dad did not have handkerchiefs, because that's gross.
Speaker 3: It was a clean nex situation.
Speaker 4: My dad had handkerchiefs and it's not engraved. What's it
Speaker 4: called when like your initials are on it?
Speaker 2: Embroidered?
Speaker 3: Yeah, not emboss embroidered. Okay, yeah, oh my god, embalmed.
Speaker 2: What are we doing?
Speaker 4: I said, boss, My dad always had a handkerchief and
Speaker 4: he needed it. He has allergies. But yeah, man, that
Speaker 4: while it was tick.
Speaker 1: It was tick because it was the eighties in the
Speaker 1: nineties and you didn't have like access, like you could
Speaker 1: just like check on your mortgage on the phone, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, just like on a screen. That's right.
Speaker 1: You had cash in your mattress. Yeah, yeah, cash rules.
Speaker 1: So I keep two American dollars here in Canadia.
Speaker 3: Which is super helpful.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I flashed those two dollars and people are like, jump
Speaker 1: back Aloney and atuney.
Speaker 4: I used to wear cowboy boots. There was a summer y'all.
Speaker 4: I hope you're sitting and you're cowing.
Speaker 2: Okay, bitch.
Speaker 4: There was this someone that I did go through like
Speaker 4: this floral dress, cowboy boot face.
Speaker 3: Oh that's a good fase. Do you remember me when
Speaker 3: I kind of remember this?
Speaker 4: Do you remember me when this is when Old Navy
Speaker 4: really came out with the plus size dresses, suff said, all,
Speaker 4: I about to live my best life, felt like a
Speaker 4: big titty Puerto Rican Drew Barrymore in every movie like,
Speaker 4: oh so floral. I didn't even like fuck with persons anymore.
Speaker 4: I just would keep everything in my boot What.
Speaker 3: Do you mean you keep it in your boots?
Speaker 2: I would keep my.
Speaker 4: Debit card, my BlackBerry, my cash. It just be all
Speaker 4: up in my socks, disgusting.
Speaker 3: What if you did a cartwheel, you were screwed.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because you know me, cartwheel bete over here?
Speaker 5: Oh my god.
Speaker 4: By the way, don't try to do a cartwheel when
Speaker 4: you're an adult, because your ankles do not got that bounce.
Speaker 2: Like they used to.
Speaker 3: I pulled off a cartwheel.
Speaker 2: I knew you were gonna say that.
Speaker 1: I received no congratulations for even though I heard every
Speaker 1: joint in my spine pop and I was like, huh,
Speaker 1: I still got it.
Speaker 2: Okay, this is the perfect quote.
Speaker 4: If anybody wants to know what it's like being friends
Speaker 4: with the middle child, that quote sums it up, motherfucking perfectly.
Speaker 2: I did a car wheel. No one congratulated me.
Speaker 1: That's why I gotta stop doing them. I guess. Oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's sad.
Speaker 2: You know, it's not sad. You got kids. Find your joy,
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I see these parents at the playground like who's it,
Speaker 4: and I'm like, not me, bitch. My kids are really cute,
Speaker 4: but they're always like, Mama, let's play hide and seek.
Speaker 4: I'm like, have you seen any horror movie. No, not yet,
Speaker 4: you're four. But I don't want to do that.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm exactly who you're talking about. I know you're
Speaker 1: speaking in generalities but speaking specifically to me.
Speaker 3: But I'm always playing with them.
Speaker 1: I'm that a whole parent that like climbs the giant
Speaker 1: toy with them.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, still got it. God, I'm still agile.
Speaker 3: I take my own makeup freees.
Speaker 1: Oh god, I'm punchable while my wife sits down, you know,
Speaker 1: on a bench moros looking up like in a black
Speaker 1: and white film. I don't want them at the end
Speaker 1: of the day, when they're on the therapists couch, to
Speaker 1: be like Dad never played with me, you.
Speaker 2: Know, one hundred.
Speaker 4: We want to be the change we want to see, right,
Speaker 4: And that's why I make eye contact with them. I
Speaker 4: don't like to be on my phone around them. Sometimes
Speaker 4: I have to be. We're beholding to our phones. It's
Speaker 4: got everything India.
Speaker 1: It's fun to be wild and free. When I do
Speaker 1: get back to my phone, Yeah, I realize maybe.
Speaker 3: I'm not as popular as I thought.
Speaker 1: It was not as many notifications as I thought, you know,
Speaker 1: mostly just Joe Biden asking me for thirty bucks and
Speaker 1: things like that.
Speaker 2: Oh Joe.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And on that note, while America figures her shit out,
Speaker 4: please enjoy this episode with good gosh.
Speaker 2: Should we call him a comedy godfather? What'll we call him?
Speaker 1: He's a bit of a comedy godfather, a bit of
Speaker 1: a comedy jack of all trades, you know, hard to
Speaker 1: really define this mess.
Speaker 4: Yes, he's unfindable, which is what I love about him.
Speaker 4: He Yeah, if there's a box, he's on the side
Speaker 4: of it making his own.
Speaker 2: Box, which I really do appreciate.
Speaker 4: And him and his wife are just you know, when
Speaker 4: you think about these couples who create a community, you know,
Speaker 4: within a community, that's what they do.
Speaker 2: You guys, enough enough.
Speaker 3: Please enjoy Scott Ackerman, how was that?
Speaker 5: Farkling's good jars? Make some motherfucking noise? Want for motherfucking time?
Speaker 4: Please come on, okay, creaky, you did that.
Speaker 5: Good to see. Hello.
Speaker 4: Look she got a mask on. You must have a
Speaker 4: nice paying job. Yes, hi, everybody, thank you for coming
Speaker 4: to insulting.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna shove you toe. This is Jordan Carlos.
Speaker 5: How's it going, y'all?
Speaker 3: You're good.
Speaker 4: We turned down the house lights a little bit. It's
Speaker 4: a little bright. I want to see who we're fucking with.
Speaker 1: It seems like a nice collection of people. They look
Speaker 1: like looks like a bank commercial.
Speaker 5: Very nice.
Speaker 2: Yes, is it giving Chase?
Speaker 4: Oh my god, these guys, these guys were extras in
Speaker 4: my show Survival the Thickets putting it on Netflix.
Speaker 2: Yes, I called tod a.
Speaker 4: Low budget Natasha Lely Young because she's got that wave.
Speaker 1: A low budget wait stand up so everybody can see
Speaker 1: how Yeah, I see it.
Speaker 5: I see your true.
Speaker 4: Shine and through.
Speaker 5: That's a compliment. That's a compliment. Oh my god, look
Speaker 5: at look at this. You guys look good.
Speaker 4: Where are you going?
Speaker 2: You want to come here?
Speaker 4: It's your birthday, bitch, Yes, you got a birthday outfit
Speaker 4: on stand up? How old?
Speaker 2: Am titty?
Speaker 5: Stand up girls?
Speaker 4: Show everybody your birthday outphant, bitch, give me some apple
Speaker 4: by this Vega's birthday turn around?
Speaker 5: Turn around.
Speaker 2: She's y'all, Oh.
Speaker 5: My god, she looks very fetching.
Speaker 4: Yeah that's all you got.
Speaker 5: Well, I'm not.
Speaker 2: It isn't Bridgardton. She's fetching.
Speaker 1: Oh she's quite stunning, you know, like she's Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Well I'm not gonna say anything any come on, I
Speaker 1: mean respect, Did you ever have a birth Did you
Speaker 1: ever buy a birthday gift for your person that went bus?
Speaker 2: Yes, I'm so glad you asked.
Speaker 4: What a great follow up, Steve Harvey, Thank you, thank
Speaker 4: you do what I can.
Speaker 5: What the fuck?
Speaker 7: So?
Speaker 4: I had a college boyfriend and he was a little
Speaker 4: out of shape, but I wasn't here to body shame.
Speaker 2: I was just here to help.
Speaker 4: And and so I got him like one of those
Speaker 4: you know, those little all in one workouts you put
Speaker 4: in your your garage and it's like you can do.
Speaker 5: This and this and this and this on it.
Speaker 4: And so I got it for him and he was angry,
Speaker 4: but I was like, I got a little cute workout
Speaker 4: outfit with him. I was like, we could just do
Speaker 4: this together. I got legwarmers. I'm like, come on, let's
Speaker 4: do it. And he was like, no, this is trash
Speaker 4: and he went to go return it and got a
Speaker 4: DVD player instead.
Speaker 1: Yeah, jokes on him. We don't even use DVDs anymore.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I like a haircut, though, thank.
Speaker 5: You very much.
Speaker 1: I tried to get my son to get his haircut,
Speaker 1: and this is what happened.
Speaker 5: I got my haircut.
Speaker 4: He didn't want to get his haircut.
Speaker 1: He's very persuasive. He's just like, I don't want to
Speaker 1: get a hip cut, and I was like, you have
Speaker 1: to get two lightning bolts that you like. He likes
Speaker 1: to Patrick Mahomes haircut because my son looks like Patrick
Speaker 1: Mahomes is a football player, and I was.
Speaker 4: Like, who's that shut?
Speaker 6: Okay?
Speaker 2: Yeah, did he win British bakeuff? I don't know.
Speaker 1: I like to show I like to show him like,
Speaker 1: you know, light right, because he's inter racial, so I
Speaker 1: show him like people like Mahomes or like Steph Curry
Speaker 1: and I'm like.
Speaker 5: You too can be you know. And so he has
Speaker 5: a litt role.
Speaker 1: Models, the Derek Jeters of the world. So anyway, uh yeah.
Speaker 2: Derek Jeters of the world.
Speaker 5: I can't.
Speaker 1: He just pulled the switch th ru and I got
Speaker 1: the haircut. But it's all good. But but well, we'll
Speaker 1: get it done. He's just like that. He's like that,
Speaker 1: he's like what he's just like he just Jedi mind
Speaker 1: shit that he does to me where I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna cut your hair, and then I'm like, what
Speaker 1: the fuck happened?
Speaker 5: You know, like that's nice, my hair got cat.
Speaker 2: But he's growing into his personality.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he had a little play date and that went
Speaker 1: not well. And yeah, yeah, you think you think it's gonna.
Speaker 5: Go great, A play date's gonna go great. You gotta
Speaker 5: all worked out. I want to play date.
Speaker 4: Go listen. I love the shit out of my kids.
Speaker 4: It's a lot of work with them.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 5: I have to watch your kids and feed them.
Speaker 2: And they asked me where the batteries are for this shit?
Speaker 2: It's broken?
Speaker 5: Move on?
Speaker 2: Why are you asking me?
Speaker 5: Shit?
Speaker 4: What do you even mean? This isn't apple juice? I
Speaker 4: have go home, motherfucker.
Speaker 5: I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 2: Why are we doing this?
Speaker 4: And especially if they're potty trading the toilet seat, and
Speaker 4: then like sometimes the parents drop them. I'm off, it's
Speaker 4: just like are you leaving? They're like yeah, I'll be
Speaker 4: right back. I'm like, okay. Sometimes the parents stay and
Speaker 4: I'm like, not gonna feed you too, Like, what the fuck?
Speaker 4: None of it is good?
Speaker 5: Do you want to do a play date next week
Speaker 5: with our kids?
Speaker 3: Don't want to do.
Speaker 5: A play day?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 4: I actually do like your kids because they have manners
Speaker 4: and they're a little older than my kids, and so
Speaker 4: they get along well.
Speaker 5: This kid did not have manners.
Speaker 1: This kid came over and just the first thing they
Speaker 1: did was like you got stairs, cool and went up
Speaker 1: the stairs. Oh.
Speaker 4: I will say a lot of kids that come over
Speaker 4: that live in apartments, they're like, what's up there? Like
Speaker 4: who's up there? And I'm like the killer. I hope
Speaker 4: they're cleaning out. I don't give a fuck. I'm gonna
Speaker 4: I don't give a fuck. Stay here.
Speaker 2: This is what you get.
Speaker 5: I hate this shit ground floor.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 4: When they start getting into the fruit that's not theirs,
Speaker 4: I'm like, you better put the avocado back, bitch. That
Speaker 4: is my healthy fat for the fucking week.
Speaker 5: I really can't that's it. I really fucking can't go on.
Speaker 3: This is true.
Speaker 1: That's the next thing the kid did was once they
Speaker 1: were they're like, they're like, okay, cool downstairs, and they
Speaker 1: go into the kitchen. Into the kitchen, right, they've never
Speaker 1: been there. What I don't I don't know. They just
Speaker 1: opened up my refrigerator. It's like, what do you gotta eat?
Speaker 1: What do you got to eat? That's what the kids said,
Speaker 1: exactly right.
Speaker 5: It was insane. Yeah, they just they ate me out
Speaker 5: of house and home. I had to. They're like, they're like,
Speaker 5: you got ice?
Speaker 3: Cream.
Speaker 5: I was like, no, we don't.
Speaker 1: We don't have we have postacles, Like, can you go
Speaker 1: get some ice cream? What?
Speaker 5: So?
Speaker 1: Like yeah, So I was like, I guess I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go get ice cream.
Speaker 5: No I did, Yeah.
Speaker 3: I did.
Speaker 5: I did.
Speaker 1: I guess I filled out I didn't know I had.
Speaker 1: I had filled out a W two because I worked
Speaker 1: for this person.
Speaker 5: So there is this thing.
Speaker 4: It's one of two things, right, and you know, I
Speaker 4: have dogs now And that was like a very big
Speaker 4: game changer for me because then I started meeting like
Speaker 4: dog people and either like the things they take care
Speaker 4: of the dogs of the kids right, Either they just
Speaker 4: have stars in their eyes for them, they're like, oh.
Speaker 2: Aren't they so cute?
Speaker 4: And like no, they're literally shitting in this plant right now,
Speaker 4: handle it. That's not cute. Or they're also assholes. So
Speaker 4: therefore the little the offspring assholes too.
Speaker 5: You see what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Yes, this person, this child is sciopath guys, and no, no, no,
Speaker 1: because the parents are so sweet, they're so nice, they
Speaker 1: can't say no, you see what I'm saying. And then
Speaker 1: here's the honey hush, the honey hush. When the kid
Speaker 1: had left, there was a giant red stain on our couch?
Speaker 1: What was it on our couch?
Speaker 3: Which?
Speaker 5: What is it?
Speaker 1: It?
Speaker 5: Sharpie?
Speaker 1: It was red sharpie, red sharpie. I said, where did
Speaker 1: they get a shark? We don't have sharpies? Brought the
Speaker 1: sharpie they brought? Oh my god, do you understand they're
Speaker 1: the goddamn devil?
Speaker 4: Okay, which is but for toddlers?
Speaker 3: Like what?
Speaker 1: And it just like it was just bleeding onto the
Speaker 1: couch and I thought like someone had suffered a head
Speaker 1: wound and it was I don't know, I didn't know
Speaker 1: what's happening. So then my wife and I are like convulsing,
Speaker 1: were like the couch charge.
Speaker 4: Oh that's a wild color to see when you don't know.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's the why.
Speaker 4: It's like it's when you have beats and you forget.
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you think you have cancer? You think you
Speaker 1: have cancer. You're pretty sure you have cancer.
Speaker 2: I kind of remember when you eat the beets.
Speaker 5: Give me a meat, fresh beets. No, So she that's
Speaker 5: a conniption. I have a conniption.
Speaker 1: My son is the only one left. He's six years old.
Speaker 1: You can't get mad at a six year old, Like,
Speaker 1: do you understand what it takes to get yes you can, well,
Speaker 1: yes you can.
Speaker 5: He doesn't understand.
Speaker 2: Yes he does.
Speaker 5: No, he doesn't get it. He does not get it.
Speaker 5: He does He's like kids, watch.
Speaker 4: Enough cartoons and ship where it's this like bad person,
Speaker 4: good person, that's a bad person, pick another one that's good.
Speaker 1: Right, But we don't we don't teach good and bad
Speaker 1: people in our house.
Speaker 2: Well, then you're gonna get fucking stands on your couch.
Speaker 5: You're ready for more ship?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 5: Yes, oh god, I know it's sad.
Speaker 4: Yeah, y'all need to do like more edibles. You guys,
Speaker 4: I'm very excited about the show. We have a lot
Speaker 4: of amazing talent here for you tonight, and I just
Speaker 4: can't fucking wait. Plus my kids are at home.
Speaker 6: Bye.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Okay.
Speaker 1: So our first guest tonight hilarious, hilarious. You might know
Speaker 1: him from the show Comedy Bang Bang. What comedy legend
Speaker 1: he is? Please give it up for Scott occer Man.
Speaker 6: Yeah, this guy?
Speaker 4: Look at this guy?
Speaker 5: Quick on that.
Speaker 4: What in that Dancing with the Stars is going on?
Speaker 5: I love that you're making such a met all of
Speaker 5: your intro. It's beautiful.
Speaker 6: Hello, hello, hello, Hello.
Speaker 4: I like to call our audience a bra They just
Speaker 4: uplift and support. So many questions. Where are you from?
Speaker 4: Where are you from there?
Speaker 6: Where? Why?
Speaker 1: How?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 8: Yes, I'm from California. Yes, I grew up in the
Speaker 8: shadow of Disneyland, where I worked for a little bit
Speaker 8: as well. I was several characters. I was Goofy.
Speaker 5: What are you ready for the Goofy?
Speaker 6: I was the tall characters.
Speaker 8: Okay, so there were There were I believe four different
Speaker 8: height costumes. So from I'm so Pluto. So I was
Speaker 8: never Pluto because that was one below me is a
Speaker 8: little bit shorter.
Speaker 2: Pluto just gives tall energy.
Speaker 6: Yeah he was.
Speaker 8: He has reel bde big dog energy.
Speaker 5: It sure does, all right.
Speaker 8: So Captain hook Bear Bear Bear Bear, yes, all of
Speaker 8: the races.
Speaker 4: Well, yeah, how hot was it up in that costume?
Speaker 8: This was the eighties, So it was hot. Now I
Speaker 8: say that like that means something, you know, how hot
Speaker 8: the eighties were?
Speaker 6: No, it was.
Speaker 8: I hear that it's actually much better now that they
Speaker 8: have air conditioning in the suits, but they did not
Speaker 8: back then. So and I worked during the summer and
Speaker 8: it was it was really tough. You were only supposed
Speaker 8: to be out in the park for they had kind
Speaker 8: of like a ten minutes on, ten minutes off. Occasionally
Speaker 8: it would get up to a half hour, so it
Speaker 8: would be like a half hour on, half hour off.
Speaker 8: And then every once in a while there were these
Speaker 8: things that you had to do they called walkabouts, which
Speaker 8: was you would enter the park on like Main Street
Speaker 8: and then walk through the park and go backstage at
Speaker 8: like New Orleans Square, and you were only supposed to
Speaker 8: take a half hour doing it.
Speaker 6: And then one day in the middle of the summer.
Speaker 8: I got lost for two and a half hours in
Speaker 8: the park and just wandering around the park, like waving
Speaker 8: at kids and like, where am I trying to find
Speaker 8: a backstage?
Speaker 5: Like a nightmare.
Speaker 8: It was night And then you know, at one point,
Speaker 8: I'm like taking pictures with kids, and someone just gently
Speaker 8: took my hand and said.
Speaker 6: There you are, beraar bear.
Speaker 8: We've been looking for you. I just love that gently
Speaker 8: led me backstage.
Speaker 2: No, did you cry? Were you crying under that mask?
Speaker 6: I was?
Speaker 8: It was one time though, when I was Captain Hook,
Speaker 8: we don't if.
Speaker 2: I had a zala every time.
Speaker 8: First of all, I had these gloves that were no
Speaker 8: I was the big bad wolf, that's right. I had
Speaker 8: gloves that were only four fingers right, a thumb and
Speaker 8: three fingers right, because you're a cartoon. Yeah, and so
Speaker 8: I and kids were just assholes.
Speaker 5: They still are, are they really?
Speaker 8: They haven't changed?
Speaker 5: Well yeah so yeaheah.
Speaker 1: We were just talking about how there's a kid at
Speaker 1: my house that destroyed a four thousand dollars catch. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I want to go home now.
Speaker 8: Is that a lot of money to you?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, me ouch kidding likes to scratch.
Speaker 8: Just do a guest spot on a sitcom like One Beach.
Speaker 5: Right, you're right, do it go.
Speaker 6: You're right.
Speaker 5: This is coming from bear Bear.
Speaker 8: We still four five cents an hour.
Speaker 5: Yeah, we're bragging.
Speaker 6: Listen.
Speaker 8: But I had four fingers, and I was able to
Speaker 8: figure out that I could flip kids off and it
Speaker 8: would just look like I was pointing at him and
Speaker 8: one the one kid, the one kid I really wanted
Speaker 8: to know, he could figure out. He goes, I see
Speaker 8: what you're doing right now?
Speaker 5: Oh shit?
Speaker 3: Gotah.
Speaker 4: You know I went to Disneyland and Disney World I
Speaker 4: think two times in my childhood, and I cried and
Speaker 4: asked my mom to leave because it felt like everybody
Speaker 4: was unhappy. It's sort of like when you go to SNL.
Speaker 4: You're like, it's supposed to be happy, but everyone is
Speaker 4: either coked out or afraid they might get fired.
Speaker 2: That's the vibe.
Speaker 4: Sorry, Sanna's not really either, bitches.
Speaker 2: That's the vibe. And I was like, you know, I
Speaker 2: didn't have the vocabulary.
Speaker 4: I was like six or seven, but I'm like, like
Speaker 4: Pluto's getting beat up.
Speaker 6: We were coked out. Yeah, this was the eighties and.
Speaker 5: That's why I was still hot because of the cocaine.
Speaker 1: What was it like, are there tunnels that connect you
Speaker 1: to different parts of the park things like that?
Speaker 8: Oh my god, No, there there are not, although I
Speaker 8: did get to see several of the secret kind of places,
Speaker 8: like the underground basketball court that's like underneath a matterhorn.
Speaker 5: What is that?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 5: What's I meant?
Speaker 6: You're asking me what a basketball court was?
Speaker 5: Yeah? I mean why was that put there? That's amazing.
Speaker 8: I just like employees shooting, you know, threes from downtown.
Speaker 3: Wait.
Speaker 4: When you applied for the job, were you like, oh,
Speaker 4: I hope I get it.
Speaker 5: Were you like nervous?
Speaker 8: You have to audition. It was a three day audition process.
Speaker 5: So this ISNL okay.
Speaker 8: Yeah it was so I had to I had to
Speaker 8: do a choreographed dance I had.
Speaker 5: To do remember it this? Do we want to see
Speaker 5: him do the choreograph dance? So we got a little
Speaker 5: just a little bit of it. Give this man a job.
Speaker 1: Wow, that was like the final thing of flashdowns.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, I mean usually people would be throwing dollar bills,
Speaker 4: but everyone's got bitcoined. So oh yeah, yeah, that's crazy,
Speaker 4: that's insane.
Speaker 5: Three days, that's too many days. Three days.
Speaker 8: Yeah, And you were you were auditioning to either be
Speaker 8: a character or to be in the parade, and everyone
Speaker 8: wanted to be in the parade. Sure, And there was
Speaker 8: a real class distinction between people in the parade look
Speaker 8: down on us so much because we either weren't good
Speaker 8: looking enough or in my case, wasn't a good enough
Speaker 8: answer to be, you know, in the actual parade.
Speaker 3: But did you.
Speaker 1: Was it?
Speaker 5: No, that was given parade dance?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 3: See you.
Speaker 8: I wish you were the auditioner too.
Speaker 1: Do you ever go back and like, have you ever
Speaker 1: gone back to Disneyland and been like, god, like, does
Speaker 1: it haunt you sometimes? Like?
Speaker 8: No, No, I actually love it there weirdly enough, and
Speaker 8: I loved like getting to see all the little weird
Speaker 8: stuff backstage and just because I grew up next to
Speaker 8: it and I would go every year and you know,
Speaker 8: bug my parents to go. So it was really cool
Speaker 8: for me to As terrible as the job was and
Speaker 8: absolutely the worst job I've ever had, it was, I
Speaker 8: have fond memories of it.
Speaker 2: Right, Oh, that's so nice.
Speaker 4: What about people who are obsessed with it like it's
Speaker 4: their nationality and get tattoos?
Speaker 6: Oh they're fucking weird.
Speaker 2: Yeah they are.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I mean, I'm not going to talk about
Speaker 4: Mariah Carey Nick Cannon, but I'm just like, really, that's
Speaker 4: where you want to go and renew your rowls? I'm sorry?
Speaker 4: Are you friends with Mariah Carey?
Speaker 1: I just.
Speaker 2: Check it.
Speaker 4: You're at a warehouse in Brooklyn with one working bar,
Speaker 4: and you guys are gonna come for me because Vario Carey,
Speaker 4: for noter, vows multiple times on distey Land.
Speaker 8: Are your babies with Nick Cannon? I'm worried mine is?
Speaker 2: Do I have babies?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 4: No, no, no, I've never seen him in like, I haven't
Speaker 4: seen him in a while, So no, if I hugged him,
Speaker 4: i'd probably be able to like, But no, I.
Speaker 8: Think that's how it happens.
Speaker 2: You know, this is an interesting.
Speaker 5: Topic. Babies.
Speaker 2: No, I mean what is that about?
Speaker 4: Like are we oh, like you know that song I
Speaker 4: See your face in every Flower. You know that's that
Speaker 4: old song. Like men just want to see their face
Speaker 4: even like even like DMX, I'm just like, what is it?
Speaker 4: You know you're fertile, These women know you're fertile, Like,
Speaker 4: why are we doing this?
Speaker 8: It's like my my theory is the fucking feels good? Okay, yeah,
Speaker 8: that's as far as I've gotten.
Speaker 5: Yeah, fair, Yes, I want. I wanted to ask your
Speaker 5: dad now.
Speaker 6: Yes, I just had a baby. Yeah, thank you, thank
Speaker 6: you so much. I had a baby.
Speaker 1: You had a baby, yeah, a little a little bang thing.
Speaker 8: Yes, exactly. A podcast neo baby podcast, royalty.
Speaker 5: I love it.
Speaker 4: And we were talking about like backstage, about infertility and stuff.
Speaker 2: Are you cool to share?
Speaker 6: Yeah? Yeah yeah.
Speaker 4: So we both had our children via surrogate, which is
Speaker 4: amazing because I do find these women to be like
Speaker 4: walking angels on earth.
Speaker 2: The minute you get married or even find someone you like.
Speaker 4: As we learn from the most recent Love is Blind reunion,
Speaker 4: people want to.
Speaker 2: Know I didn't start up, but okay.
Speaker 4: People want to know when you're going to have the
Speaker 4: baby and like because like, thank god, I do stand
Speaker 4: up because I'm just like, when you pay for it,
Speaker 4: move on, bitch.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: So I can think of something, but a lot of
Speaker 2: people can't.
Speaker 4: So when you are struggling to have a child and
Speaker 4: people ask you all the time, it's like, did you
Speaker 4: guys figure out how to have that conversation or what
Speaker 4: to say to people?
Speaker 5: Uh?
Speaker 8: Weirdly, in California, no one ever asks that. I think that,
Speaker 8: like they just everything in California is just more like
Speaker 8: what are you working on now? You know, like that's
Speaker 8: the only conversation you really have? So but we I
Speaker 8: don't know. We were relatively I mean my wife especially
Speaker 8: was relatively honest about what was going on over the
Speaker 8: over the years.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 8: So I don't know, but it is one of those
Speaker 8: weird questions people don't quite know how to approach, you know,
Speaker 8: of like what actually is happening because we were talking
Speaker 8: about a backstage there's so much drama leading up to it.
Speaker 8: So we just kind of kept everything private until the
Speaker 8: week she was here and then we were like, ah,
Speaker 8: we had a baby.
Speaker 4: Everyone surprised, but same same because you're still processing your shit,
Speaker 4: so you don't know how to fully talk about it,
Speaker 4: and so I did pick like a handful of friends
Speaker 4: like Jordan and his wife, like, you know, people who
Speaker 4: understood what a struggle was like, especially the struggle I
Speaker 4: was going through. And then people who just really loved
Speaker 4: me and have my back, because what I didn't realize
Speaker 4: is that some friends and family members like to see
Speaker 4: me struggle.
Speaker 2: Interesting They thought, like, I not.
Speaker 3: An I don't.
Speaker 5: I don't like it anymore.
Speaker 3: I lost it.
Speaker 4: I like, why is she so happy? Why is she
Speaker 4: working so hard? Why do I see her face everywhere?
Speaker 4: So they like actually enjoyed that. And I have seen
Speaker 4: it and heard of it, but never actually experienced it.
Speaker 4: And I was like, oh, thank you for telling me that.
Speaker 4: I don't ever have to fucking call you anymore. Yeah,
Speaker 4: when you really find out who your people are when
Speaker 4: something good has happened to you, it's really hard to describe.
Speaker 4: But what was it like finally bringing baby home after
Speaker 4: years and years?
Speaker 8: I mean it was there was so much, like I say,
Speaker 8: drama leading up to it, of so much like you know,
Speaker 8: heart break for ten years. You know that it was,
Speaker 8: which was another reason why we never wanted to mention
Speaker 8: it before. It actually like came true, you know what
Speaker 8: I mean. So, but it was Yeah, I mean I
Speaker 8: felt a little bit removed from it because I was
Speaker 8: not allowed in the delivery room because say.
Speaker 5: With my husband, Oh really, yeah.
Speaker 8: Because I'm not allowed to be around children within fifty yards.
Speaker 2: They saw the Pluto tape.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was a very interesting experience for both of
Speaker 4: us because it always felt like I had to knock
Speaker 4: on the door and say, am I allowed in? Even
Speaker 4: though they're my children. But I also respected her privacy
Speaker 4: greatly because this is also her body, and so it
Speaker 4: really has shaped me as a mom where my children,
Speaker 4: even though they're fo I'm like, this is your body.
Speaker 4: If you don't feel comfortable with me hugging you right now,
Speaker 4: it's fine, Like we have to choose what's right for you.
Speaker 4: And it also made me feel like everybody that I
Speaker 4: love really is a village. Whether it's friends that I know,
Speaker 4: were just somebody nice on an airplane, I'm like, y'all
Speaker 4: are part of the village.
Speaker 5: Come help a bit, shout.
Speaker 8: Thank you, thank you for gesturing to me when you
Speaker 8: said friends, you know the way I felt included.
Speaker 5: I didn't. I'm sorry, no you did.
Speaker 2: I didn't mean.
Speaker 6: Okay, that makes more sense. That makes more sense. Nice,
Speaker 6: got it.
Speaker 1: That's a good noise. Uh, the toast is ready. I
Speaker 1: have no idea somebody's making ice machine.
Speaker 4: Are you serious?
Speaker 2: It's the ice machine?
Speaker 4: Miked aggressive question from the audience. They like to ask
Speaker 4: us stuff, all right, and we'd like to answer it.
Speaker 1: Where's the best place to buy sex toys in store? Okay,
Speaker 1: so that's that's the question. What Babeland? You think Babeland? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think CBS. I feel like CBS has got all
Speaker 1: the products. Possibly the problem is being even locked up.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying With all the de.
Speaker 8: Technically anything can be a sex toy if you inserted
Speaker 8: the right way.
Speaker 5: I mean, that's amazing. Yeah, Davis and Toyland is probably
Speaker 5: the best. Yeah, I would say, I don't you know what.
Speaker 4: It doesn't gonna sound bushi as fucked, but I get
Speaker 4: my sex toye for freak because I write them.
Speaker 5: Wow, thank you, thank you, so good luck?
Speaker 4: All right, Scott, what's the question?
Speaker 8: You got suggestions phrases other than walking away for white
Speaker 8: co workers who won't mind their business?
Speaker 1: Scott, go ahead, I didn't see that, Scott, take it.
Speaker 5: How do you deal how do you deal with the
Speaker 5: white Scott?
Speaker 7: I just got that question, but I honestly didn't read it.
Speaker 8: Well, maybe you could try some out on me and
Speaker 8: see if I get offended?
Speaker 1: Okay, what I'm uh? Yeah, what do I say?
Speaker 6: Be careful?
Speaker 5: I know, my god, I'm not into I'm not into
Speaker 5: Jack Johnson like that. I'm not into.
Speaker 8: I don't care about banana pancakes.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I've never been to. OHI is that good?
Speaker 2: What's what's the question?
Speaker 1: So?
Speaker 2: Sorry?
Speaker 4: I was and I was shocked and I forgot what
Speaker 4: was the question?
Speaker 3: Just?
Speaker 8: How do you deal with a white coworker who won't
Speaker 8: mind their business?
Speaker 4: What you don't say is like, hey, white, you know what,
Speaker 4: here's something if you want tis ship. It's sort of
Speaker 4: like when a woman calls to say she got her period,
Speaker 4: she got cramps. No one's gonna follow up with that ship,
Speaker 4: you know what I mean, even if she just want
Speaker 4: to day off of something. So if you're white co
Speaker 4: or like really wants to know, letone.
Speaker 8: Is there an equivalent of oh, I have menstrual cramps?
Speaker 8: For like, we're talking about stuff that we don't want
Speaker 8: to include you in. In other words, like a code
Speaker 8: that you could say like, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 6: Oh?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I'm in my forties, so right now,
Speaker 4: I'm just like, this ain't for you, you know what
Speaker 4: I mean, Like, this isn't your time. I'll call you
Speaker 4: when it's your time. Straight up, it's not for you.
Speaker 4: You can go, but with a smile, thank you.
Speaker 2: But I didn't know that.
Speaker 4: Like in my thirties, I'm just like, well, and I'm like,
Speaker 4: why am I aging myself well, like trying to make
Speaker 4: them feel comfortable. So I'm just like I need a moment,
Speaker 4: you know, that's all. Yeah, who wrote this question?
Speaker 5: How old are you? They're not going to say, because
Speaker 5: they're here with the white co workers.
Speaker 6: Follow them.
Speaker 2: Okay, last questions.
Speaker 4: I have feelings for my friend and we recently started
Speaker 4: sleeping together.
Speaker 2: Somebody goes juicy widole.
Speaker 5: Are reacting tonight. People are like, oh my god.
Speaker 2: It does one yoga class.
Speaker 1: Okay, he teaches it, now, go ahead.
Speaker 4: Yeah he told me it's never going to be more
Speaker 4: than something casual. Hell yeah, do I still keep sleeping
Speaker 4: with him even though, yeah, even though my feelings were hurt.
Speaker 5: People, it's so easy to say that. It's so easy
Speaker 5: to say that and he's on.
Speaker 4: Oh that's a deep cut, bitch. Thank you're having a
Speaker 4: basic cable. I love that ship. That's VH one. Listen.
Speaker 4: It is very hard, especially like when you're digmatized, because
Speaker 4: if he can make you come in.
Speaker 2: A certain way, you're just like.
Speaker 7: I don't know if that's a lab or you haven't asked.
Speaker 7: I got some clariton of my purse.
Speaker 8: When you get digmatized, does he have to wave it
Speaker 8: in front.
Speaker 6: Of your face back and forth?
Speaker 4: He doesn't, ye truly when it sucks when you sit
Speaker 4: and spin on something and you're like, we are so
Speaker 4: connected here, but why are we not connected there? Right?
Speaker 4: What I will say is, you know, and I'm really
Speaker 4: bad at examples, so give me a fucking minute. When
Speaker 4: you eat something and it's delicious and the serotonin's like,
Speaker 4: oh my god, and then you go to the doctor
Speaker 4: and he's like you're cholesterol, You're like, okay, he's not
Speaker 4: good for me. It's telling me it's not good for me,
Speaker 4: but it feels good. It tastes good. That's my terrible
Speaker 4: example of being digmatized. So in the long run, you're
Speaker 4: doing yourself a disservice, okay, because you could be having
Speaker 4: really good sex with someone who's not gonna hurt your feelings,
Speaker 4: and y'all keep it casual all the way. If you
Speaker 4: have the feelings and you're fucking him, that's crazy because
Speaker 4: you're the one getting poked.
Speaker 1: But sometimes it does feel good to dip something in
Speaker 1: blue ranch, you know what I'm saying, like or blue cheese.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, one more question and we got.
Speaker 5: To move on.
Speaker 8: I like your idea though a blue ranch. I like
Speaker 8: like a combination of the two. Yeah, that sounds delicious.
Speaker 5: Sorry, Oh my god.
Speaker 4: Any tips? I'm balancing a demanding job and a relationship. Angie,
Speaker 4: your favorite publicist, Jesus Christ. I turned my last time, Angie,
Speaker 4: where the fuck are you saying?
Speaker 1: So?
Speaker 4: Okay, last time Angie was here, her phone went off
Speaker 4: and I was like, your phone went off at like
Speaker 4: nine pm?
Speaker 2: Do you have to take your birth control? She's like yes.
Speaker 2: So you want to balance work in a relationship.
Speaker 8: She's asking, how do you balance work in family?
Speaker 4: Like the way the way you are at your job,
Speaker 4: be that with your relationship.
Speaker 2: Period plan overplan and check in. How we doing? How's
Speaker 2: my performance? Is what you could do? This is what
Speaker 2: I feel like we could do. Together.
Speaker 4: That's how you fucking move on. That's just me though,
Speaker 4: do you know what I mean?
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean I think you said it all right there?
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you know, I mean it seems like you
Speaker 1: you have you have a career. She's a big time
Speaker 1: public time publicist. I mean sometimes people say it's not balance,
Speaker 1: its choice, so like you have to choose sometimes it
Speaker 1: can't be equal. And you know, when you make that choice,
Speaker 1: have confidence in the choice and say that what you
Speaker 1: chose was worth it.
Speaker 5: People are just Yeah, I was happy. I was.
Speaker 8: I think, choose that job. A job is so much
Speaker 8: better than a family. Like the family, It's like anyone
Speaker 8: can have one of those. But you have an amazing
Speaker 8: job as a publicist. You're amazing. Choose that all right?
Speaker 1: You heard?
Speaker 4: Does everybody giving up for Scott?
Speaker 5: Wow?
Speaker 3: You know what.
Speaker 4: I just took my kids to like a Paw Patrol
Speaker 4: live show, and I was looking at the dancers who
Speaker 4: like had to pretend to be dogs and pretend to
Speaker 4: like it, and I was like, I feel for you,
Speaker 4: Like a shock of Cotton song, I think I love
Speaker 4: you you for Scott, just to like go in on
Speaker 4: what the experience is like in a costume in the
Speaker 4: eighties with no ac making people happy.
Speaker 2: But still the love.
Speaker 4: You know, the beaming joy he has for the Disney
Speaker 4: Institution is infectious, right, And so I'm like, Okay, there
Speaker 4: is hope for everybody that has to like tap dance
Speaker 4: as a dog in a very hot costume. And you
Speaker 4: know what, he is the first guest that we forgot
Speaker 4: to ask the question what's the most adult thing that
Speaker 4: you want to do for yourself that you haven't?
Speaker 2: But I feel like, goddamn, he's done it, you.
Speaker 3: Know what I mean, He's doing all the things.
Speaker 1: And you know, sometimes that question can really stunt people
Speaker 1: because they're like, damn, aren't I doing enough?
Speaker 3: You know, I know, you know.
Speaker 1: So I feel like that question would be asked an
Speaker 1: answer by all the things that he relayed he was
Speaker 1: doing already. Yeah. I was also interested in the fact
Speaker 1: that he's actually from California and in show business, because
Speaker 1: sometimes that like repels people and they're like, I want
Speaker 1: to get as far away from that as humanly possible.
Speaker 3: But he just completely embraced it.
Speaker 2: I love that too.
Speaker 4: I mean, god, I'm just thinking about everybody from California.
Speaker 6: Now.
Speaker 1: My mind goes Jordan, it goes who are you seeing?
Speaker 1: Tell me whose face you see when you think of California?
Speaker 4: Well, I'm also thinking about New York and people like
Speaker 4: in Broadway shows, the people that do, like the thankless jobs, the.
Speaker 1: People in the course, yeah, the tech yes folk, Yeah,
Speaker 1: absolutely yeah, night after night giving it to you, the
Speaker 1: people in the pit playing the music, making a sta yeah.
Speaker 3: Absolutely. End episode The Great White Way.
Speaker 2: No wait, thank you guys for listening. I hope you
Speaker 2: didn't laugh too much.
Speaker 4: I hope you enjoyed the air horns and learned a
Speaker 4: little something about yourself.
Speaker 2: I don't know your journey, bitch.
Speaker 3: This has been an exactly right production.
Speaker 2: Our senior producer is g Howley.
Speaker 3: Our associate producer is Alex Chief.
Speaker 2: This episode was mixed by John Bradley.
Speaker 3: Our guest booker is Patrick Cottner.
Speaker 2: Additional production support from Hannah Kyle Crichton.
Speaker 1: Theme song and live show djang is by Don will
Speaker 1: Our Live.
Speaker 2: Show producer is Marion Ways.
Speaker 3: Artwork by Jamie Bechtel.
Speaker 2: Photography by Gis vander Most.
Speaker 1: Executive produced by Karen Kilgera, Georgia Hartstark and Daniel Kramer.
Speaker 2: Follow the show on Instagram at adulting the Pod.
Speaker 1: Email your questions to adulting Questions at gmail dot com.
Speaker 4: MMMM