WEBVTT - Should She Take the $25K Raise or Protect Her Peace? 0:00:05.120 --> 0:00:07.400 Hey ba fam, Wait, did I hit record? 0:00:07.520 --> 0:00:07.960 Yes I do. 0:00:10.080 --> 0:00:13.159 Let's see Kerrie Washington. Welcome to the v a q 0:00:13.520 --> 0:00:17.479 A on this beautiful Friday. I am really excited to 0:00:17.480 --> 0:00:21.239 be joined here by Yan Nelly Spinal aka mis Be 0:00:21.360 --> 0:00:26.279 Helpful and Chris Browning aka mister Popcorn Finance himself. We're 0:00:26.280 --> 0:00:28.960 gonna be taking y'all's questions now. If you want to 0:00:28.960 --> 0:00:32.320 submit a question to Brown Ambition, please go to our Instagram. 0:00:32.360 --> 0:00:34.640 You can d m us at the Brown Ambition No 0:00:35.000 --> 0:00:39.080 What at Brown Ambition Podcast on ig or you can 0:00:39.120 --> 0:00:42.760 email us Brown Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com if 0:00:42.800 --> 0:00:45.800 you want to have your question on the show. And 0:00:45.880 --> 0:00:49.559 we have some some juicy ones today. So I'm excited 0:00:49.560 --> 0:00:51.560 to have y'all's help here. So you know the Biel, 0:00:51.760 --> 0:00:55.360 get your salt shakers out. This is infotainment edutainment. I 0:00:55.400 --> 0:00:58.600 can say salt shakers are required because what we're not 0:00:58.680 --> 0:01:02.960 giving you is like paid financial investment professional advice. We 0:01:03.000 --> 0:01:06.480 don't actually know you personally, nor do we you know, 0:01:06.800 --> 0:01:09.120 need to be sued by you for any information we've 0:01:09.120 --> 0:01:10.640 given you. So let me hop on and I think 0:01:10.640 --> 0:01:13.839 we got some a mix of like career and finance 0:01:13.920 --> 0:01:17.560 today Our first one is from anonymous what should we 0:01:17.560 --> 0:01:22.559 call this anonymous person? We'll call her carry after after 0:01:22.959 --> 0:01:26.720 yan Ellie's girl crush, Kerry Washington. All right, she wants 0:01:26.760 --> 0:01:28.880 to know is it okay to decline a job offer 0:01:28.880 --> 0:01:32.280 that actually pays more money to listening to BA for 0:01:32.319 --> 0:01:34.560 a long time. I'm so grateful for you guys and 0:01:34.560 --> 0:01:37.440 what you've built. I'm so sweet. You've empowered me in 0:01:37.440 --> 0:01:39.600 so many ways, especially as a mom of two, to 0:01:39.680 --> 0:01:42.120 fight for myself in the workplace and to own my 0:01:42.240 --> 0:01:45.479 career trajectory. Thank you, hearthnds, Oh, thank you? 0:01:47.080 --> 0:01:47.520 All right. 0:01:47.600 --> 0:01:51.920 So to get some wait did it do hearts? You should. 0:01:53.280 --> 0:01:54.760 Reading the question? I can't see. 0:01:54.960 --> 0:01:57.120 Yeah, the red hearts just popped up. It was so cute. 0:01:57.680 --> 0:02:00.040 Then I go, I can't is it cute? Though it 0:02:00.160 --> 0:02:01.840 was so forny? 0:02:01.880 --> 0:02:02.400 I like it. 0:02:02.440 --> 0:02:03.520 I think it's all right. 0:02:03.600 --> 0:02:05.480 That's fine, I'll call it. 0:02:06.040 --> 0:02:08.160 We'll take our little joints where we can take it, 0:02:09.040 --> 0:02:12.760 all right. So a little bit on Carrie's backstory. So, 0:02:12.840 --> 0:02:15.079 my husband and I moved our family across the country 0:02:15.080 --> 0:02:17.800 almost one year ago for what seemed like a great 0:02:17.800 --> 0:02:21.120 opportunity for him. But six months after moving, he was 0:02:21.200 --> 0:02:24.519 laid off. Luckily, my job allowed me to work remotely, 0:02:24.600 --> 0:02:27.600 so I've been able to maintain my income in between 0:02:27.600 --> 0:02:31.040 that and his unemployment. We've been able, excuse me to 0:02:31.040 --> 0:02:34.560 make ends meet. Right now, I'm making a little less 0:02:34.560 --> 0:02:38.280 than fifty fifty K annually, and I recently interviewed for 0:02:38.360 --> 0:02:41.480 position that will pay around seventy five K, and I 0:02:41.560 --> 0:02:44.359 stand a pretty good chance of getting an offer. It's 0:02:44.360 --> 0:02:48.160 an opportunity I prayed for after learning more and more 0:02:48.200 --> 0:02:51.000 about the role in the final interview, it doesn't seem 0:02:51.040 --> 0:02:52.520 at all like anything i'd. 0:02:52.360 --> 0:02:53.079 Want to do. 0:02:53.760 --> 0:02:57.600 Things I value clearly defined processes, organization, the ability to 0:02:57.639 --> 0:02:59.919 work within a team. This job would be the opposite 0:03:00.080 --> 0:03:02.359 of all those things. I'd be a team of one 0:03:02.400 --> 0:03:06.560 person working to help the organization create order out of chaos, 0:03:07.040 --> 0:03:12.760 guaranteed working longer hours. The idea feels nightmarish, so she says, 0:03:12.840 --> 0:03:16.120 part of me wants to remove myself from consideration. I 0:03:16.160 --> 0:03:17.840 want a job that will pay more money, but not 0:03:17.880 --> 0:03:20.000 at the expense of my mental health or time to 0:03:20.040 --> 0:03:22.959 spend with my family. But when I consider this would 0:03:22.960 --> 0:03:26.120 be a huge jump and income, especially when my husband's 0:03:26.200 --> 0:03:29.080 unemployment income has ended and he still hasn't found a job. 0:03:29.520 --> 0:03:31.880 The idea of walking away from an opportunity like this 0:03:31.960 --> 0:03:35.440 sounds crazy. Like Cardi B said, I got babies. 0:03:35.520 --> 0:03:38.000 I need some money. I need cheese for my eggs. 0:03:38.040 --> 0:03:39.360 Did she say I need? 0:03:40.040 --> 0:03:40.640 Is that a lyric? 0:03:41.040 --> 0:03:44.400 Yeah, she's in your eggs. I can't do that anymore. 0:03:44.440 --> 0:03:47.480 The lactose just won't let me. If I take this role, 0:03:47.560 --> 0:03:50.080 Carrie says, and do it successfully, I think it would 0:03:50.080 --> 0:03:53.000 put me in a great position career wise when I 0:03:53.040 --> 0:03:55.440 think about roles I could take on after my time, 0:03:55.600 --> 0:03:57.680 But my kids and husband are more important to me 0:03:57.760 --> 0:04:00.640 than anything. I don't want my relationship ships with them 0:04:00.680 --> 0:04:03.720 to suffer because I'm stressed out all the time. What 0:04:03.960 --> 0:04:07.960 turning down an offer like this be irresponsible? Especially in 0:04:08.000 --> 0:04:11.680 this economy? What would you do? Thank you for reading 0:04:11.720 --> 0:04:12.160 carry Chris. 0:04:12.160 --> 0:04:13.480 I'm gonna let you take it first because I got 0:04:13.520 --> 0:04:15.000 strong opinions. I'm gonna let you go first. 0:04:15.080 --> 0:04:18.719 Oh man, Okay, I I was formulating my thoughts here. Okay, 0:04:20.920 --> 0:04:21.720 I know I was. 0:04:22.040 --> 0:04:22.200 I was. 0:04:22.400 --> 0:04:24.240 I'm torn. I'm toured right now. In my mind. 0:04:25.040 --> 0:04:27.360 That's relatable because part of. 0:04:27.279 --> 0:04:29.400 Me is like, Look, nobody wants to walk into a 0:04:29.480 --> 0:04:31.680 chaotic situation. Right, if you're happy where you're at. I 0:04:31.720 --> 0:04:33.720 get it because I've worked in jobs where I was like, 0:04:33.760 --> 0:04:36.320 this is pure chaos. Everybody hates it here, I'm stressed out, 0:04:36.360 --> 0:04:38.520 I'm working too much, and I wish I wasn't here, 0:04:39.040 --> 0:04:41.159 And so I never want anyone to go into that, 0:04:41.279 --> 0:04:43.440 the situation I don't walk in. Right. 0:04:43.480 --> 0:04:44.640 You don't feel that way, now, do you? 0:04:45.000 --> 0:04:45.160 Yeah? 0:04:45.200 --> 0:04:45.240 No? 0:04:45.320 --> 0:04:46.720 They I'll tell you what I really think about all 0:04:46.720 --> 0:04:51.200 this later. But really it was that that job did 0:04:51.240 --> 0:04:53.280 set me up for better jobs down the line. It 0:04:53.320 --> 0:04:55.040 was a promotion for me. There was a big pay 0:04:55.120 --> 0:04:56.560 jump when I took it. It was kind of like this. 0:04:56.600 --> 0:04:58.640 It was about a twenty thousand dollars a year pay jump, 0:04:58.960 --> 0:05:01.520 and I ended up leveraging that job into something else. Now, 0:05:01.520 --> 0:05:03.360 I hated that job for four years. I was there 0:05:03.400 --> 0:05:07.160 for a long time, miserable, miserable, the worst job IVE 0:05:07.160 --> 0:05:08.960 ever had. And I find the two of those four 0:05:09.000 --> 0:05:11.160 I was trying to find another job. But if it 0:05:11.200 --> 0:05:13.200 wouldn't have been for that job, I wouldn't have had 0:05:13.240 --> 0:05:15.640 opportunities to find the job that got later that paid 0:05:15.640 --> 0:05:17.240 me more and gave me that balance that I was 0:05:17.279 --> 0:05:19.599 looking for. So I'm torn in the sense that, like, 0:05:19.680 --> 0:05:21.400 I don't want people to deal with that stress because 0:05:21.400 --> 0:05:24.320 life was horrible for a while, but I saw what 0:05:24.360 --> 0:05:26.640 that led to, and so that's I'm a little torn 0:05:26.640 --> 0:05:28.600 because like, yes, there could be another opportunity that might 0:05:28.720 --> 0:05:30.560 fill that role for you, allow you to get that promotion, 0:05:30.600 --> 0:05:31.840 allowed you to make that step up and get that 0:05:32.240 --> 0:05:36.920 experience and that pay. But sometimes you take the opportunity 0:05:36.960 --> 0:05:39.520 that presents itself and you use that to your advantage 0:05:39.560 --> 0:05:40.760 to get to where you need to go. So I'm 0:05:40.800 --> 0:05:42.400 kind of I'm very torn on this, but part of 0:05:42.440 --> 0:05:44.640 me is like, especially in the situation she's in, it 0:05:44.680 --> 0:05:47.040 feels like you know that that extra security might be nice, 0:05:47.040 --> 0:05:48.200 even though it is going to take a little bit 0:05:48.240 --> 0:05:49.359 of your time and it might be a bit of 0:05:49.360 --> 0:05:52.560 a sacrifice for a while. So that's that's that's my response, 0:05:52.560 --> 0:05:53.800 that's my media thoughts on it. 0:05:54.920 --> 0:05:57.120 I mean, that's real, that's real. I'm gonna be honest. 0:05:57.160 --> 0:05:59.719 My immediate thought was no, don't take it. And the 0:05:59.720 --> 0:06:03.559 reason and why is because compensation and benefits is one 0:06:04.200 --> 0:06:08.000 factor in a larger rubric that you use to make 0:06:08.040 --> 0:06:10.840 a decision about whether you want to take this step 0:06:10.920 --> 0:06:14.640 in your career. The other factors to consider are the role, 0:06:14.720 --> 0:06:18.360 the responsibilities, if there's growth opportunities, your work life, balance, 0:06:18.440 --> 0:06:21.800 your sanity, flexibility with time to come in, time to leave. 0:06:21.800 --> 0:06:24.520 You got kids, you got a husband, company culture, the 0:06:24.560 --> 0:06:26.919 mission and the values of that company. Right, the work environment, 0:06:26.920 --> 0:06:29.279 the location, proximity to your home, your commute. Is that 0:06:29.320 --> 0:06:32.080 going to be miserable? You know future prospects? Is that 0:06:32.120 --> 0:06:34.800 a stable job? Is the company actually stable? 0:06:34.920 --> 0:06:35.120 Right? 0:06:35.520 --> 0:06:39.960 And personal intuition is one that I would include on 0:06:40.040 --> 0:06:43.279 my rubric. And your personal intuition is already waiving a 0:06:43.320 --> 0:06:47.000 big red flag saying everything about that interview told me 0:06:47.040 --> 0:06:48.640 what I needed to know that this was not the 0:06:48.720 --> 0:06:51.000 job I thought it would be. But what's most important 0:06:51.040 --> 0:06:53.279 to me in what you said was that you think 0:06:53.320 --> 0:06:56.000 that you are about to get this offer, which means 0:06:56.600 --> 0:06:59.720 you have the potential to make this money. You have 0:06:59.760 --> 0:07:02.839 what it takes. You're capable of getting an offer at 0:07:02.880 --> 0:07:06.400 that salary or higher. So this does not have to 0:07:06.440 --> 0:07:09.200 be the only job that you will get with that salary. 0:07:09.200 --> 0:07:11.520 Now that you know that you're capable, you can finesse 0:07:11.560 --> 0:07:15.160 that offer. Honey, get the offer in writing PDF that 0:07:15.240 --> 0:07:17.760 joint and take it with you to the next interview 0:07:17.760 --> 0:07:20.560 process and use it to negotiate a higher offer from 0:07:20.600 --> 0:07:27.160 another job that does align with the things that you like. Organization, stability, clarity, right, 0:07:27.240 --> 0:07:29.680 all of those things that you value that this particular 0:07:29.760 --> 0:07:31.600 job is making clear. It's not it's not the one. 0:07:31.640 --> 0:07:33.600 It's not it. So for me, I would think that 0:07:33.640 --> 0:07:35.600 if you were to do it just for the money, 0:07:35.800 --> 0:07:38.440 you're gonna end up presenting your hubby. You're gonna end 0:07:38.480 --> 0:07:41.119 up presenting him because he's kind of technically the only 0:07:41.200 --> 0:07:44.400 reason that you would do it, because he because he's 0:07:44.440 --> 0:07:47.320 not working, right, Yeah, because you want to do this. 0:07:48.560 --> 0:07:50.280 He still hasn't gotten a job. 0:07:52.640 --> 0:07:55.400 You had there that wasn't don't I. 0:07:55.320 --> 0:07:57.120 Didn't read that right the way man, he read it. 0:07:57.240 --> 0:07:59.080 She read it with that little and he made us 0:07:59.120 --> 0:08:01.680 move out here, ready with the country, be ready with 0:08:01.720 --> 0:08:04.920 extra sas song, probably like Nevada or someplace. 0:08:04.960 --> 0:08:05.320 I don't know. 0:08:06.360 --> 0:08:08.440 I hope it's not. Well, maybe Nevada is an income 0:08:08.480 --> 0:08:11.000 text free state. Good for y'all, But I just think 0:08:11.120 --> 0:08:12.960 I do think that y'all need you need to be 0:08:13.000 --> 0:08:16.240 honest with yourself about your personal intuition because the worst 0:08:16.280 --> 0:08:18.280 case scenario is you hate your job. You resent your 0:08:18.360 --> 0:08:20.080 job and you hate your husband. You resent your husband 0:08:20.120 --> 0:08:21.640 because he made you get the job that you resent 0:08:21.680 --> 0:08:23.280 and hate. And so I think at the end of 0:08:23.320 --> 0:08:25.760 the day, money ain't everything. We all about more money. 0:08:25.800 --> 0:08:28.440 But you can finesse that job offer into another job 0:08:28.480 --> 0:08:32.440 offer of equal or greater salary benefits if you make 0:08:32.520 --> 0:08:34.880 moves the right way. And obviously Mandy is the right 0:08:34.920 --> 0:08:36.240 woman to hook you up, so you're already in the 0:08:36.280 --> 0:08:36.760 right place. 0:08:38.160 --> 0:08:41.800 I know. I think both of y'all have interesting perspectives, 0:08:41.840 --> 0:08:43.800 and I feel like I agree with both of you 0:08:43.840 --> 0:08:46.360 in different parts. I've seen this question before, some version 0:08:46.400 --> 0:08:48.560 of this question many many times. This is like the 0:08:49.080 --> 0:08:52.280 this is like one of my haven't I said this 0:08:52.320 --> 0:08:55.480 a thousand times of questions like you in the stock 0:08:55.520 --> 0:08:58.600 market thing? Yeah, But honestly, when it comes to a 0:08:58.600 --> 0:09:01.760 situation like this, I have people who would tell me 0:09:01.800 --> 0:09:03.680 the exact same thing. But if you flip it, so 0:09:03.760 --> 0:09:06.559 like they're at a very chaotic or they thrive in 0:09:06.640 --> 0:09:09.200 chaotic situations, and they're going into a job interview, and 0:09:09.240 --> 0:09:11.040 it just sounds like everything is so rigid and so 0:09:11.160 --> 0:09:14.400 structured and more bureaucratic. It's a bigger company will they 0:09:14.440 --> 0:09:16.760 have as much freedom and flexibility and like, will they 0:09:16.760 --> 0:09:19.360 get to be a self starter as much? And I 0:09:19.440 --> 0:09:22.800 think it also I just want to like I want 0:09:22.840 --> 0:09:26.280 there to be like a level of understanding about how 0:09:26.400 --> 0:09:30.240 any job that you have, any job environment, it can change. 0:09:30.320 --> 0:09:34.040 I mean, you can come into a chaotic organization, or 0:09:34.080 --> 0:09:36.559 you can come into a very stable organization that can 0:09:36.600 --> 0:09:40.360 become chaotic. And like you could be working at I 0:09:40.400 --> 0:09:42.880 don't know, like what's one of the most oldest Procter 0:09:43.000 --> 0:09:45.760 and Gamble, like a big company, and like maybe the 0:09:45.800 --> 0:09:48.840 company itself is very stable, but you get switched to 0:09:48.880 --> 0:09:50.920 a certain team like I don't know, R and D 0:09:51.280 --> 0:09:55.079 or accounting or whatever, and either the whole team is 0:09:55.120 --> 0:09:57.640 a bit toxic, where your manager is toxic, and like 0:09:58.080 --> 0:10:01.200 you're on your own path at the company that you 0:10:01.320 --> 0:10:04.080 work and sometimes if it's big enough, like you have 0:10:04.200 --> 0:10:07.600 your own little inner company almost like a smaller company 0:10:07.640 --> 0:10:10.360 within a company. And I think there's just we need 0:10:10.400 --> 0:10:13.920 a healthy understanding of like the workplace dynamics and sort 0:10:13.960 --> 0:10:17.320 of have a healthy level of Okay, this may change 0:10:17.360 --> 0:10:19.160 and like it may not always be this way, and 0:10:19.200 --> 0:10:21.480 so I need to be a little bit flexible and 0:10:21.679 --> 0:10:25.959 just going into a situation at least saying like this 0:10:26.000 --> 0:10:27.800 could change and if it does, well, that's just what 0:10:27.920 --> 0:10:31.200 happens in some workplaces. And like we can again be 0:10:31.320 --> 0:10:33.880 like really upset that all of a sudden that my 0:10:34.040 --> 0:10:35.960 manager who loved me has left and now I've been 0:10:36.000 --> 0:10:39.760 assigned to a new manager and he's passive aggressive and 0:10:39.840 --> 0:10:44.240 like microaggressive and all that. And so when it comes 0:10:44.320 --> 0:10:46.520 to you, and I totally get what you're coming into, 0:10:46.720 --> 0:10:49.800 Like you're anticipating this is going to be chaos, that 0:10:49.840 --> 0:10:52.960 you're going to be spending long hours, and that is 0:10:53.080 --> 0:10:57.040 all entirely valid. Is it enough to like turn down 0:10:57.040 --> 0:10:59.600 the money that you need in this career opportunity? 0:11:03.280 --> 0:11:04.280 I kind of feel like. 0:11:04.240 --> 0:11:06.640 More on Chris's side, a little bit of like you 0:11:06.679 --> 0:11:09.160 need the money, take the job. You're not in a 0:11:09.160 --> 0:11:11.320 situation where you have a lot of options right now. 0:11:11.360 --> 0:11:15.120 Your husband's out of work, you have two kids. That's expensive, 0:11:15.160 --> 0:11:18.440 as hay, and even if you're in you know, I 0:11:18.440 --> 0:11:21.600 don't know, living on fifty K for a family of four, 0:11:21.760 --> 0:11:25.800 that's just I don't it's tough, you know. And CARDI, 0:11:25.920 --> 0:11:28.600 like CARDIV doesn't say it, but eggs is like really expensive. 0:11:28.640 --> 0:11:30.360 Now you know, like ten. 0:11:30.200 --> 0:11:34.120 Bucks a dozen, so they sold everywhere. Yeah, part of 0:11:34.160 --> 0:11:36.760 me is like, I see, I see where she's coming from. 0:11:36.800 --> 0:11:40.120 But I also feel like with the extra money, you 0:11:40.520 --> 0:11:47.920 could invest that in your family to bring to like counteract, 0:11:47.920 --> 0:11:49.680 if you're going to be spending more time at work, 0:11:50.000 --> 0:11:52.480 could you be spending you know, the extra money that 0:11:52.480 --> 0:11:54.520 you're getting if you get a nice vacation package with 0:11:54.559 --> 0:11:57.040 this company, could you be you doing a nice family 0:11:57.120 --> 0:11:59.800 vacation once a year. Could you be using the funds 0:11:59.840 --> 0:12:03.240 for the bigger picture for like the kids college education 0:12:03.440 --> 0:12:07.040 or their school tuition, or maybe you guys need something 0:12:07.080 --> 0:12:08.960 that as a family will make you happier. And like, 0:12:09.000 --> 0:12:11.439 if you can frame it not as like mommy is 0:12:11.480 --> 0:12:14.200 going to work for this company and it's I'm just 0:12:14.240 --> 0:12:18.160 assuming it's not a terrible place, it's just a chaotic place. 0:12:18.840 --> 0:12:19.680 Then that may help it. 0:12:19.800 --> 0:12:22.600 That may make it easier for you to show up 0:12:22.760 --> 0:12:25.520 and deal with the stuff that's going on because you're 0:12:25.520 --> 0:12:27.680 doing it for the right reasons and like you understand 0:12:27.679 --> 0:12:30.880 where your values are. You're still valuing your family, You're 0:12:30.880 --> 0:12:34.080 doing it for them, and you're not centering the company 0:12:34.120 --> 0:12:37.120 in its needs. And if you do that, I just 0:12:37.120 --> 0:12:39.920 feel like you'll be able to withstand that chaos a 0:12:39.960 --> 0:12:42.400 little bit better, because genuinely, I think one of my 0:12:42.480 --> 0:12:45.120 superpowers in corporate was that I could stand a little chaos. 0:12:45.800 --> 0:12:49.280 It was just like this, because chaos some people just 0:12:49.400 --> 0:12:51.800 like to get upset about things and complain about things 0:12:51.800 --> 0:12:55.000 and like oh this, you know, and worry about things 0:12:55.080 --> 0:12:56.840 like oh, did you hear what they said in that 0:12:56.880 --> 0:12:58.680 town hall meeting? It seemed a little different than that 0:12:58.720 --> 0:13:00.720 town And I'm like, yeah, but this is a corporation, 0:13:01.840 --> 0:13:04.800 you know, business business plans are going to change. Wall 0:13:04.800 --> 0:13:06.840 Street's gonna talk, and then the company is gonna make it. 0:13:06.880 --> 0:13:07.400 Move this way. 0:13:07.800 --> 0:13:11.559 There's always gonna be some chaos. Like I just think 0:13:11.640 --> 0:13:14.560 if you can like change your mindset, you can you 0:13:14.600 --> 0:13:17.559 can cope with that stress and that chaos. Does this 0:13:17.640 --> 0:13:19.080 sound like a really terrible advice? 0:13:19.160 --> 0:13:21.160 I just I don't think it's. 0:13:21.240 --> 0:13:22.080 I just wanted to. 0:13:22.320 --> 0:13:25.439 I just don't want you to like walk away from 0:13:25.480 --> 0:13:27.680 an opportunity that could be great for your career wise. 0:13:28.040 --> 0:13:30.560 And and yes, jan Ellie, with this, I love that 0:13:30.600 --> 0:13:33.400 you said, like, use this offer as a negotiation tactic, 0:13:33.440 --> 0:13:36.480 but if there's not another offer around the corner, Yeah, 0:13:37.800 --> 0:13:40.760 and in this job environment, ye, there may not be 0:13:41.360 --> 0:13:43.760 you can still take the job. And then you're like, 0:13:43.840 --> 0:13:46.360 you have the seventy five k as your you know, 0:13:46.480 --> 0:13:48.720 as your and you haven't even negotiated it can be 0:13:48.720 --> 0:13:54.440 harder than seventy five k. Now that part Call me girl, 0:13:54.480 --> 0:13:56.480 I can get you a ninety signing bonus what you want, 0:13:56.559 --> 0:13:59.920 like and I'm just saying like you could leverage that 0:14:00.160 --> 0:14:02.120 for more down the line, but like actually being in 0:14:02.160 --> 0:14:04.959 the role and getting that experience, it could just make 0:14:04.960 --> 0:14:09.400 you better, you know, better, more resilient, more battle tested. 0:14:10.240 --> 0:14:12.480 Yeah, that's a good point. I mean, moms are so 0:14:13.480 --> 0:14:16.320 willing to sacrifice. I mean, she's Carrie said it herself 0:14:16.360 --> 0:14:18.280 that she's willing to do anything for her kids and 0:14:18.280 --> 0:14:22.120 her husband. So if you know that you're coming into 0:14:22.200 --> 0:14:26.760 this as sacrifice season and you're mentally equipped to handle 0:14:26.760 --> 0:14:30.920 that and you have accepted it, that's a completely different 0:14:30.920 --> 0:14:32.880 scenario than the one I was describing, where you go 0:14:32.960 --> 0:14:35.560 in because you need to because your husband's not working, 0:14:35.640 --> 0:14:38.200 because it's a job that you feel desperate and you 0:14:38.280 --> 0:14:40.920 have to take it. Those are two very different women. 0:14:41.160 --> 0:14:43.040 So Carrie, I think you need to decide which one 0:14:43.120 --> 0:14:45.640 are you where are you right now? And be honest, 0:14:45.800 --> 0:14:48.560 because there ain't no shame in doing a job that 0:14:48.600 --> 0:14:50.680 you hate for more money. But there's also no shame 0:14:50.720 --> 0:14:53.480 in turning a job that pays you more down because 0:14:53.560 --> 0:14:56.120 it doesn't align with your family and personal intuition. So 0:14:56.160 --> 0:14:59.400 I think you gotta you have a determination to make 0:14:59.440 --> 0:15:01.680 Carrie like which carry is the real carry? 0:15:02.960 --> 0:15:03.320 Carry? 0:15:03.320 --> 0:15:04.520 B carry? 0:15:04.840 --> 0:15:07.800 You're going to be carry bee? That was really well put. Yeah, 0:15:07.880 --> 0:15:08.560 well good luck. 0:15:08.600 --> 0:15:10.720 This sounds like a really adult problem to. 0:15:10.720 --> 0:15:14.720 Have, and I feel like if it's a good problem 0:15:14.760 --> 0:15:15.040 to have. 0:15:16.320 --> 0:15:18.000 Oh and just one thing I'll say, if you're going 0:15:18.040 --> 0:15:20.920 into the situation with the terrible reason with like your 0:15:21.080 --> 0:15:23.560 team of one and like all this chaos to order out, 0:15:24.120 --> 0:15:28.120 order out all this chaos to make order of, ask 0:15:28.200 --> 0:15:30.920 them during the interview process what resources you're gonna have. 0:15:31.000 --> 0:15:33.040 Because it's one thing to be, as you know, an 0:15:33.040 --> 0:15:37.080 independent person, But if they're gonna if they're going to 0:15:37.200 --> 0:15:39.360 acknowledge how much work this is and if they're going 0:15:39.400 --> 0:15:41.640 to give you the resources to make it happen, then 0:15:41.680 --> 0:15:44.080 that for me becomes a situation where I can cope 0:15:44.080 --> 0:15:45.960 with that. But if they're saying, like you gotta do 0:15:46.000 --> 0:15:48.280 it with no budget. We know you, we know this 0:15:48.360 --> 0:15:50.680 position could be like three people, but we're only hiring 0:15:50.720 --> 0:15:53.680 for one. Like that is where the toxicity can come in. 0:15:54.320 --> 0:15:55.760 But if they're gonna give you a budget to hire 0:15:55.800 --> 0:15:58.360 contractors and like work with other teams and stuff to 0:15:58.360 --> 0:16:00.400 get what you need to get done, then that's that 0:16:00.440 --> 0:16:01.600 becomes a different equation. 0:16:02.240 --> 0:16:05.760 Facts true, true. 0:16:05.440 --> 0:16:09.400 Well that was a juicy doozy one. Thank you, Carrie, 0:16:09.480 --> 0:16:12.200 Anonymous Carrie. All right, let's take a quick break and 0:16:12.240 --> 0:16:17.080 come back with question number two from Sasha. All right, 0:16:17.120 --> 0:16:19.840 ba fam, we are back with an email question from 0:16:19.840 --> 0:16:23.760 listeners Sasha, who has a money dilemma. All right, so 0:16:23.840 --> 0:16:27.560 Sasha says, regretfully, I have been bad with money and 0:16:27.680 --> 0:16:30.760 credit cards. I went from making around forty five K 0:16:30.880 --> 0:16:35.200 to ninety K and four years and let lifestyle inflation 0:16:35.320 --> 0:16:38.120 get the best of me. Now I have twenty K 0:16:38.240 --> 0:16:41.000 on my AMX and fourteen K on my Discover card, 0:16:41.080 --> 0:16:44.440 plus a mortgage plus student loans. I really want twenty 0:16:44.480 --> 0:16:46.240 twenty five to be the year that I make a 0:16:46.320 --> 0:16:49.360 dent in this debt. I called AMEX and asked for 0:16:49.440 --> 0:16:52.040 a rate reduction like you suggested on an episode a 0:16:52.040 --> 0:16:54.880 few weeks ago, and they said, yes, my rate went 0:16:54.920 --> 0:16:57.560 down to seven point nine percent for twelve months, and 0:16:57.600 --> 0:17:01.000 it cut my monthly payment in half. Here's my dilemma. 0:17:01.440 --> 0:17:04.359 Do I defer my loans and take the difference of 0:17:04.400 --> 0:17:08.640 my old MX payment plus my deferred low payment, which 0:17:08.680 --> 0:17:11.359 is about five hundred dollars and throw it at my 0:17:11.440 --> 0:17:15.280 Discover card or throw it at my Discover card, throw 0:17:15.280 --> 0:17:17.640 it out my AMEX card, or save it and put 0:17:17.680 --> 0:17:21.160 it back to stack my savings. And then, if by 0:17:21.160 --> 0:17:24.920 the twelve month mark I have a decent savings, throw 0:17:24.960 --> 0:17:27.760 a chunk at the AMX before the rate goes back up. 0:17:27.920 --> 0:17:32.320 I'm so torn on what to do. I lost the 0:17:32.359 --> 0:17:35.639 plot here. There's a lot going on. Do I defer 0:17:35.800 --> 0:17:36.480 my loans? 0:17:36.840 --> 0:17:37.199 Defer? 0:17:37.320 --> 0:17:41.359 Does she mean like take a break from paying? Yeah, 0:17:41.400 --> 0:17:43.639 and then take the payment she's what had been putting. 0:17:44.080 --> 0:17:44.919 Yeah, I get it. 0:17:45.280 --> 0:17:48.439 Okay, So take the difference of my old MX payment 0:17:48.520 --> 0:17:52.119 plus my deferred student loan payment and okay, So what 0:17:52.200 --> 0:17:55.040 she's saving on the MX payment because they reduced her rate, 0:17:55.640 --> 0:17:58.600 take that amount plus the five hundred student loans and 0:17:58.600 --> 0:18:01.480 put it on her Discover card because at this point 0:18:01.560 --> 0:18:04.960 it's more expensive debt right than what's on her MX 0:18:05.880 --> 0:18:12.160 or should she save it, set it aside, and then 0:18:12.480 --> 0:18:14.720 save that for twelve months and then throw it at 0:18:14.720 --> 0:18:16.159 the MX car before the rate. 0:18:16.040 --> 0:18:16.960 Goes back up. 0:18:17.520 --> 0:18:23.919 Okay, I would not defer the loans. I think the 0:18:24.080 --> 0:18:28.119 tricky thing is like you're constantly going to be like 0:18:28.640 --> 0:18:32.280 tempted to stop in one place to then go in another. 0:18:32.480 --> 0:18:34.560 Can you just stop your student loans, like what. 0:18:34.520 --> 0:18:38.919 You can you can do? That's the thing. The crewl 0:18:38.960 --> 0:18:41.200 of the interest does not stop, and it continues to 0:18:41.240 --> 0:18:45.160 accrue on the principal balance plus any previous interests. So 0:18:45.200 --> 0:18:49.399 it's really important that you like recognize that you're not pausing. 0:18:49.920 --> 0:18:52.560 They're going to keep adding interest. You're actually just not 0:18:52.720 --> 0:18:55.640 paying it down. So I think that the key would 0:18:55.680 --> 0:18:58.400 be to try to call the student loans and see 0:18:58.400 --> 0:19:01.000 if they can work you down to the lowest possible 0:19:01.040 --> 0:19:05.000