1
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:17,440
Speaker 1: Personally with Dan Fuelsman.

2
00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:20,720
Speaker 2: It was the same time last year where I decided

3
00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:24,000
Speaker 2: to do an episode that addressed a lot of holiday struggles,

4
00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:26,840
Speaker 2: and it was one that I didn't realize so many

5
00:00:26,840 --> 00:00:27,560
Speaker 2: of us needed.

6
00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:30,040
Speaker 3: Christmas is my favorite time of year.

7
00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:34,080
Speaker 2: I love the warm lights, I love the yummy treats

8
00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:38,159
Speaker 2: and spending time with family and friends and going to

9
00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:40,800
Speaker 2: holiday pop up bars where there's all kinds of pretty,

10
00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:44,880
Speaker 2: sparkly decorations. And I put up my Christmas decorations way

11
00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:48,320
Speaker 2: earlier than the world approves of because I can't wait

12
00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:51,120
Speaker 2: for the season to come. But what I realized in

13
00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:54,800
Speaker 2: doing that episode and gearing up to do that first

14
00:00:54,840 --> 00:01:00,400
Speaker 2: episode was how much this holiday also means grief and

15
00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:04,720
Speaker 2: sorrow and sadness and anger and comes with many more

16
00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:08,000
Speaker 2: emotions than just joy. And so I had done that

17
00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:11,920
Speaker 2: episode and hopes to bring people together even more in

18
00:01:11,959 --> 00:01:14,720
Speaker 2: a season that's meant to bring people together, but not

19
00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:17,720
Speaker 2: through the happiness and the lights and the presence, but

20
00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:21,800
Speaker 2: through things that are hard. And you guys all shared

21
00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:23,840
Speaker 2: so many things about your lives, and you've done it

22
00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:28,119
Speaker 2: this year again in audio form, so people can hear

23
00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:30,360
Speaker 2: your voices through the things that you've gone through, and

24
00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:33,400
Speaker 2: I cannot wait to share these things that you've shared

25
00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:36,280
Speaker 2: with me and been vulnerable enough to open up so

26
00:01:36,319 --> 00:01:39,639
Speaker 2: that other people can feel less alone through similar things

27
00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:44,760
Speaker 2: they may be facing. And I know that not only

28
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:50,040
Speaker 2: with Christmas, New Year's follows soon after, and that means

29
00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:53,600
Speaker 2: people are going to be posting a lot of highlight reels,

30
00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:56,200
Speaker 2: a lot of things that you're going to see where.

31
00:01:56,560 --> 00:02:00,320
Speaker 3: They had this banger year, and you're gonna look at it.

32
00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:02,600
Speaker 2: And say, holy crap, that's not what my life looks

33
00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:04,400
Speaker 2: like at all. And I need you to know that

34
00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:07,360
Speaker 2: it's not what most of our lives look like. Now

35
00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:10,040
Speaker 2: I'm going to give you a vulnerable moment for me.

36
00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:14,280
Speaker 2: This has been a beautiful year for me along with

37
00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:18,880
Speaker 2: a really hard year. I've lost certain people close to

38
00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:22,160
Speaker 2: me in different friendships, and a lot of things have

39
00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:28,560
Speaker 2: happened in my family, and I have been heartbroken over

40
00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:33,440
Speaker 2: dealing with my dog and my cat both being diagnosed

41
00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:37,800
Speaker 2: with two lifelong diseases that were now having to face

42
00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:41,600
Speaker 2: and treat for the rest of their lives, and at

43
00:02:41,639 --> 00:02:46,680
Speaker 2: the same time meeting someone who I genuinely believe I'm

44
00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:49,679
Speaker 2: going to spend the rest of my life with and

45
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:54,600
Speaker 2: also having my dog and cat make full recoveries at

46
00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:59,040
Speaker 2: this moment in time, and having people who do surround me,

47
00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:01,440
Speaker 2: that love me and so port me in so many ways.

48
00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:09,840
Speaker 2: So while this year thankfully hasn't come with much grief

49
00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:13,440
Speaker 2: in the passing, since I do identify with those as

50
00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:17,120
Speaker 2: I've lost both of my grandparents, and the holidays often

51
00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:22,000
Speaker 2: bring that grief back up because I miss going to

52
00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:26,320
Speaker 2: their house on Christmas Eve to play poker with all

53
00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:28,840
Speaker 2: my uncles when I was very much not good on it,

54
00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:30,680
Speaker 2: but I'd sit on my dad's lap and steal all

55
00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:36,400
Speaker 2: those coins to play it. And the holidays do bring

56
00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:39,920
Speaker 2: up hard things as much as it could be a

57
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:43,960
Speaker 2: beautiful year, and it has been an awesome year. I

58
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,200
Speaker 2: look at this life that I've gotten to live in

59
00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:50,320
Speaker 2: the past year, and I got to host my first

60
00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:55,080
Speaker 2: ever show that's gonna be on streaming platforms, and my

61
00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:58,680
Speaker 2: health is improving after years of me putting it through

62
00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:02,760
Speaker 2: the wringer, and and I did meet someone incredibly special.

63
00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:07,720
Speaker 2: So I know that a lot of us are feeling

64
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:11,440
Speaker 2: mixed feelings with the holiday approaching and with the season

65
00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:14,720
Speaker 2: happening already. So it's why I do this episode, and

66
00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:18,880
Speaker 2: I can't wait to now dive into all of the

67
00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:22,040
Speaker 2: things that you guys have shared, and I hope all

68
00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:26,240
Speaker 2: of us throughout this episode can feel seen and connected

69
00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:30,919
Speaker 2: and maybe, just maybe it will make this holiday a

70
00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:33,880
Speaker 2: little bit easier. And if you're watching this on YouTube,

71
00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:37,279
Speaker 2: then I have my emotional support water bottle here because one,

72
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:40,279
Speaker 2: I don't drink near enough water, but also I have

73
00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:42,919
Speaker 2: a feeling I'm just gonna need a few water breaks

74
00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:46,440
Speaker 2: throughout this episode. I almost already needed one. If we're

75
00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:48,679
Speaker 2: going to start here, I'm not going to share any names.

76
00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:50,920
Speaker 2: People were kind enough to share them, but I think

77
00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:54,599
Speaker 2: it's best just to share their voices and let you

78
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:57,560
Speaker 2: hear their stories. So we're going to start here with

79
00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:58,560
Speaker 2: the first one.

80
00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:07,159
Speaker 4: Honestly, twenty twenty five was the hardest year that I've.

81
00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:10,000
Speaker 3: Walked through.

82
00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:15,240
Speaker 5: And as we just.

83
00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:21,640
Speaker 4: Went through Thanksgiving and now we're approaching Christmas and the

84
00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:27,000
Speaker 4: new year, it's hard. I don't feel excited or joyful,

85
00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:31,240
Speaker 4: and you see all these people around you and on

86
00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:35,960
Speaker 4: social media, and it feels like everybody else is so

87
00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:42,680
Speaker 4: happy and joyful and has wonderful friends and family. And yes,

88
00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:47,400
Speaker 4: I'm surrounded by people but I'm surrounded by people, yet

89
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:53,600
Speaker 4: I feel so alone. And I know as the new

90
00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:57,280
Speaker 4: year approaches, everyone's going to be posting their highlight reels

91
00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:02,320
Speaker 4: and all the things that they've accomplished, and truly, I

92
00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:04,599
Speaker 4: feel like the only thing I've accomplished this year is

93
00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:05,320
Speaker 4: surviving it.

94
00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:10,400
Speaker 2: Well. I think a lot of us can relate to that,

95
00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:15,440
Speaker 2: because surviving, not thriving has been the phrase for many

96
00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:19,200
Speaker 2: for several years, and it is a very isolating feeling

97
00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:23,360
Speaker 2: to feel like you're just surviving all the time when

98
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:26,200
Speaker 2: the health struggles I've dealt with this year, I've realized

99
00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:28,800
Speaker 2: a lot about myself and about my body and that

100
00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:31,320
Speaker 2: I was in fight or flight for a really long

101
00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:36,640
Speaker 2: time following a very traumatic episode in my life, and

102
00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:40,000
Speaker 2: it just continued to spiral with the way that I

103
00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:45,800
Speaker 2: was treating and allowing myself to feel. And I think

104
00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:49,200
Speaker 2: it can be so difficult to find our way out

105
00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:52,120
Speaker 2: when we feel alone, when we feel like we can't

106
00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:56,320
Speaker 2: come back from something. And I know that feeling all

107
00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:58,560
Speaker 2: too well. Where you sit in a room and you're

108
00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:03,279
Speaker 2: surrounded by people, it seems like it'd be beautiful, but

109
00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:06,680
Speaker 2: everything in you is numb or everything and you can't

110
00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:10,760
Speaker 2: feel what's happening in that moment, and you need away

111
00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:14,680
Speaker 2: from it. I hope you know that's normal. I don't

112
00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:18,400
Speaker 2: think anybody, for one hundred percent of their life ever

113
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:22,680
Speaker 2: feels completely on And we've all had these moments, whether

114
00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:26,640
Speaker 2: it be because of hard things or just because mental

115
00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:30,520
Speaker 2: health has been pushed to the limits. It's okay to

116
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:35,960
Speaker 2: feel that way, and you're definitely not alone in that struggle.

117
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:39,560
Speaker 2: We got another one here.

118
00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:44,760
Speaker 6: In January, I bought the family business. In April, I

119
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:49,960
Speaker 6: left my abusive ex husband and became a single mom. Yesterday,

120
00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:54,720
Speaker 6: a judge granted me said divorce despite him fighting against

121
00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:56,080
Speaker 6: it every step of the way.

122
00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:58,320
Speaker 7: And this month I turned thirty.

123
00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:02,360
Speaker 6: Even though good things that happened to me this year,

124
00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:05,960
Speaker 6: it still feels bittersweet.

125
00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:07,280
Speaker 8: Because I'm grieving the.

126
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,960
Speaker 6: Life I thought I would have by the time I

127
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:10,600
Speaker 6: turned thirty.

128
00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:15,640
Speaker 2: First, I want to say, if you again are watching

129
00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:19,000
Speaker 2: on YouTube, you saw me fist bump, Because anybody leaving

130
00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:22,080
Speaker 2: an abusive relationship should have all the praise in the world.

131
00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:24,040
Speaker 2: It's one of the hardest things to get out of,

132
00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:29,120
Speaker 2: and especially with kids. I cannot imagine the extra toll

133
00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:31,160
Speaker 2: it took on your body to go through that divorce,

134
00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:34,160
Speaker 2: to fight like hell to get out of it and

135
00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:38,200
Speaker 2: put yourself first for once and what was probably years.

136
00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:40,800
Speaker 2: And I know that it's going to be a long

137
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:44,520
Speaker 2: road ahead, a long road for healing for you and

138
00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:47,439
Speaker 2: a long road of recovery for your whole family.

139
00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:51,120
Speaker 3: But I'm proud of you. I'm so proud that you

140
00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:54,800
Speaker 3: did take that step and put yourself first and fought

141
00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:55,400
Speaker 3: to do it.

142
00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:59,320
Speaker 2: And while the road is going to be long, it's

143
00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:02,520
Speaker 2: going to be and it will be beautiful, and you're

144
00:09:02,559 --> 00:09:05,160
Speaker 2: gonna think yourself a whole lot. I'm sure you already

145
00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:08,880
Speaker 2: are as you sent that voice note, because I would

146
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:11,800
Speaker 2: imagine a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders

147
00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:15,000
Speaker 2: in a whole bunch of different ways, and taking over

148
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:17,800
Speaker 2: a family business while also doing all of that is

149
00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:18,960
Speaker 2: absolutely wild.

150
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:22,360
Speaker 3: Then you're a superhuman and I think it's so cool

151
00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:25,280
Speaker 3: that you believed in yourself to do all of it.

152
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:30,720
Speaker 2: And we should praise us getting to do the things

153
00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:33,840
Speaker 2: that we've always wanted to do and finally doing them.

154
00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:37,800
Speaker 2: That's an accomplishment all in itself. But I can also

155
00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:44,600
Speaker 2: imagine the grief that's coming. When I had left my

156
00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:52,120
Speaker 2: abusive relationship. It was incredibly difficult to remember all the

157
00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:54,800
Speaker 2: bad things that happened, not only just because I blocked

158
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:59,320
Speaker 2: them out, but because he had me really believing in

159
00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:02,880
Speaker 2: a life that supposed to happen, and I had to

160
00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:06,040
Speaker 2: rewrite the entire life that I wanted for my future

161
00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:09,560
Speaker 2: and rewrite a lot of my story that didn't have

162
00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:13,800
Speaker 2: another narrative in it. So that grief that comes with

163
00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:18,240
Speaker 2: that will be hard. But I'm just so proud of you,

164
00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:20,600
Speaker 2: and I think this is going to be your next

165
00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:24,760
Speaker 2: best season yet. And I hope that your community rallies

166
00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:28,320
Speaker 2: around you and your village to help you raise your

167
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:34,400
Speaker 2: kiddos in a way that's beautiful and protected. And I

168
00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:37,880
Speaker 2: hope that just all the good things come your way.

169
00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:42,280
Speaker 2: This is kind of up the same realm, so I

170
00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:43,280
Speaker 2: put these two together.

171
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:51,040
Speaker 7: This season is rough for me because it's a constant

172
00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:54,920
Speaker 7: reminder that I had to give up the life I

173
00:10:54,960 --> 00:11:00,240
Speaker 7: was living to pursue the life I was dreaming of.

174
00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:05,120
Speaker 7: I've been divorced from my husband for ten years now.

175
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:06,600
Speaker 3: We have both moved on.

176
00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:11,480
Speaker 7: I've been with my fiance for hello.

177
00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:15,800
Speaker 9: Over three years now, but me and my ex shared

178
00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:22,000
Speaker 9: three kids, so the holiday season is a constant reminder of.

179
00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:30,400
Speaker 10: Missed tradition, memories and moments that I didn't get to

180
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:34,320
Speaker 10: have with my kids and he didn't get to have

181
00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:38,520
Speaker 10: with them either. It's just rough.

182
00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:46,160
Speaker 7: It's hard to put your mental well being over everything else.

183
00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:52,280
Speaker 5: So this is just a reminder.

184
00:11:53,520 --> 00:12:02,600
Speaker 7: That it's hard, but at the end, it's worth it.

185
00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:04,160
Speaker 3: It is absolutely worth it.

186
00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:09,960
Speaker 2: And two things can be true, right that it's the

187
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,760
Speaker 2: best thing you did to get a divorce, while also

188
00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:17,520
Speaker 2: it was hard and you wish that it did work out,

189
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:21,920
Speaker 2: and it's beautiful that you have both moved on and

190
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:25,160
Speaker 2: found different lives. But I don't know that the grief

191
00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:27,600
Speaker 2: ever goes away. I don't have kids, so I cannot

192
00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:30,280
Speaker 2: speak from that perspective, But I don't know that you'll

193
00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:33,800
Speaker 2: ever not grieve that life. I think it will always

194
00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:37,320
Speaker 2: be part of you. I think anything we lose is

195
00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:40,959
Speaker 2: always part of us. But over time it develops into

196
00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:46,600
Speaker 2: different shape, form and memory, if you will. And I

197
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:51,120
Speaker 2: believe that this new life that you're creating is going

198
00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:53,720
Speaker 2: to bring new memories that will start to make the

199
00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:59,520
Speaker 2: old ones easier. But I just don't believe it'll ever

200
00:12:59,559 --> 00:13:04,679
Speaker 2: go away, unfortunately, And there's a beautifulness to that that

201
00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:08,320
Speaker 2: you can always have those memories and remember a life

202
00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:10,080
Speaker 2: that you did have and a life that you created,

203
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:12,640
Speaker 2: and you should be proud of because just because something

204
00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:15,880
Speaker 2: ended doesn't mean you shouldn't be proud of it.

205
00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:17,720
Speaker 3: You still did it, you still had.

206
00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:21,440
Speaker 2: That marriage, you still created beautiful children, and you're still

207
00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:26,160
Speaker 2: living a beautiful life after that. We often have this

208
00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:29,200
Speaker 2: finite reality when it comes to things ending, and there

209
00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:32,400
Speaker 2: are some situations that it should absolutely be the case,

210
00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:34,960
Speaker 2: as in the one just before this talking about an

211
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:38,120
Speaker 2: abusive relationship that should be over and ended and no

212
00:13:38,679 --> 00:13:43,480
Speaker 2: repeating and going back to it. But just because something

213
00:13:43,679 --> 00:13:47,120
Speaker 2: ends doesn't mean it ends in our hearts and in

214
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,240
Speaker 2: our lives.

215
00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:49,720
Speaker 3: And it doesn't have to.

216
00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:53,760
Speaker 2: Just because you decided to close the chapter doesn't mean

217
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:58,160
Speaker 2: the whole story's over. And anybody could tell you a

218
00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:00,240
Speaker 2: million different ways of how you should handle that, and

219
00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:02,679
Speaker 2: I'm never going to tell anybody how to handle anything,

220
00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:09,400
Speaker 2: but I think believing and replaying those memories has actually

221
00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:13,880
Speaker 2: been official to you to continue to be proud of

222
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:17,040
Speaker 2: yourself that not only did you create a beautiful life first,

223
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:20,880
Speaker 2: but you also chose another path for you because you

224
00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:23,680
Speaker 2: thought it was going to be better. And I think

225
00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:27,840
Speaker 2: that's a great choice in so many ways. So there's

226
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:32,400
Speaker 2: the two things can be true in that scenario. And

227
00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:35,720
Speaker 2: I often know that that saying is easier said than done.

228
00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:39,800
Speaker 2: So here's another one.

229
00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:44,960
Speaker 11: So in twenty nineteen, my husband got a spinal word injury,

230
00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:48,320
Speaker 11: three months after we had just got married and right

231
00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:55,280
Speaker 11: before COVID and seeing him through his rehab, I fell

232
00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:58,800
Speaker 11: him up with occupational therapy and how it changed his

233
00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:02,280
Speaker 11: life and gave him his inde pendance back, and seeing

234
00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:05,400
Speaker 11: how it affected everybody else around him and were patients

235
00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:09,040
Speaker 11: with him, And so I decided to make a complete

236
00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:13,520
Speaker 11: career change. And I was had a degree in marketing,

237
00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:15,920
Speaker 11: and I decided I'm going to switch and go to

238
00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:20,640
Speaker 11: the medical field and get into occupational therapy. And so

239
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:23,400
Speaker 11: this year was the first year where it was I

240
00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:28,560
Speaker 11: had a spring, summer, fall semester, and I'm thirty and

241
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:32,920
Speaker 11: going back to school full time, Like this has just

242
00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:34,000
Speaker 11: been wild to me.

243
00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:36,040
Speaker 5: I never thought that I would be able to do this.

244
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:41,120
Speaker 7: When I finished my marketing degree, I was like, hell, yeah, I.

245
00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:42,800
Speaker 5: Get me out of school kind of thing.

246
00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:45,400
Speaker 11: So it's really funny that I am going back to

247
00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:48,880
Speaker 11: school full time and doing this. But I guess my

248
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:52,880
Speaker 11: advice is that you can always change your mind, you

249
00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:57,800
Speaker 11: can always change your dream, and opportunities will come for

250
00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:01,080
Speaker 11: you and you just have to walk through that door.

251
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:02,880
Speaker 11: And it's going to be hard and it's going to

252
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:06,160
Speaker 11: be challenging, but you can get through it and.

253
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:06,880
Speaker 12: You can survive this.

254
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:11,080
Speaker 2: Can I just say, holy crap that you guys got

255
00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:15,000
Speaker 2: married and then this happened. I cannot imagine that experience

256
00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:18,520
Speaker 2: for both of you, and also incredible that you were

257
00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:21,840
Speaker 2: by his side through it all to work through those things,

258
00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:27,240
Speaker 2: and I bet he is incredibly appreciative of the support

259
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:32,400
Speaker 2: that you provided him. But wow, what a crazy turn

260
00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:35,480
Speaker 2: of events to then see a profession and say, you

261
00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:38,080
Speaker 2: know what, I'm going to change what I'm doing and

262
00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:44,160
Speaker 2: walk through this door. Because much like she said, I

263
00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:49,320
Speaker 2: applaud anybody who can see a crack opening and say

264
00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:52,120
Speaker 2: I'm going to go after that, because I know there's

265
00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:54,600
Speaker 2: times where I've seen cracks open and I haven't taken it,

266
00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:57,520
Speaker 2: or heck, even a window open and I won't jump

267
00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:02,360
Speaker 2: out of it to completely change the life. That to

268
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:06,560
Speaker 2: go after something potentially even better is an accomplishment all

269
00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:09,040
Speaker 2: on its own, and it's so cool that you're doing it,

270
00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:13,760
Speaker 2: and it may feel crazy, and I think this world

271
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:16,119
Speaker 2: is going to try and make you do anything to

272
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:21,200
Speaker 2: stay comfortable, to stay in the position that you're always in,

273
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:23,879
Speaker 2: because it's easier to be comfortable than it is to

274
00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:27,399
Speaker 2: be uncomfortable than it is to try something new. And

275
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:30,040
Speaker 2: the fact that you're doing that all amits a whole

276
00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:37,240
Speaker 2: lot of things happening is wild and awesome, so dang inspirational,

277
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:39,960
Speaker 2: and you probably didn't even expect that was gonna be

278
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:41,479
Speaker 2: my response, but I think it's awesome.

279
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:48,159
Speaker 13: The month of November was extremely hard. I got anxiety

280
00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:52,159
Speaker 13: and add symptoms that resurface that I haven't felt in

281
00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:57,639
Speaker 13: ten years since college, And after struggling for an entire month,

282
00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:00,280
Speaker 13: productivity decreasing, realize.

283
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:03,240
Speaker 5: That I was doom scrolling and staring.

284
00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:05,720
Speaker 13: My staring at my computer screen at work without getting

285
00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:08,600
Speaker 13: any work done, finally decided to go get help for

286
00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:12,120
Speaker 13: the first time. I saw a psychiatrist for the first

287
00:18:12,119 --> 00:18:16,159
Speaker 13: time ever, started therapy, and started anxiety medicine for the

288
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:19,720
Speaker 13: first time ever, and I'm honestly feeling much better and

289
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:23,560
Speaker 13: shedded my shame in regards to getting that help, but

290
00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:24,760
Speaker 13: so happy that I did.

291
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:30,159
Speaker 2: Okay, I want to give some snaps here because getting

292
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:35,119
Speaker 2: help is awesome. I think if you ever feel the need,

293
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:38,720
Speaker 2: there is a lot of shame associated with that from

294
00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:42,639
Speaker 2: a multitude of places, but there shouldn't be. Getting help

295
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:46,320
Speaker 2: is you putting yourself first. And you put yourself first

296
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:51,320
Speaker 2: to take care of you, and mental health is no joke,

297
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:55,760
Speaker 2: and getting medication to support you to go through life

298
00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:57,919
Speaker 2: is incredibly important.

299
00:18:57,960 --> 00:18:58,840
Speaker 3: It's incredibly brave.

300
00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:04,280
Speaker 2: And I love that you shared this because I know

301
00:19:04,359 --> 00:19:06,680
Speaker 2: there's a lot of people out there where getting help

302
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:07,600
Speaker 2: could be shameful.

303
00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:10,159
Speaker 3: But I don't want you to feel shame. I want

304
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:10,840
Speaker 3: you to be proud.

305
00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:13,480
Speaker 2: I want you to say I did that, wear that

306
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:18,520
Speaker 2: badge of honor, because getting help means you're setting aside

307
00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:21,639
Speaker 2: your pride, your ego and saying I need to do

308
00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:25,320
Speaker 2: better for me, and you're showing up for yourself. There's

309
00:19:25,359 --> 00:19:26,800
Speaker 2: not a lot of people who can actually say they're

310
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:28,920
Speaker 2: showing up for themselves. They actually put themselves on the

311
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:33,760
Speaker 2: back burner. I'm one of them often and to say hey, no,

312
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:37,639
Speaker 2: I need to set this aside and take this step

313
00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:40,440
Speaker 2: forward is incredible.

314
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:41,399
Speaker 3: And I help more people do.

315
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:46,200
Speaker 2: I hope in the new year we can have less

316
00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:50,560
Speaker 2: mental health issues, because it's clear that each year it

317
00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:55,119
Speaker 2: keeps getting worse and worse with financial issues, the economy,

318
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:57,879
Speaker 2: the different things that people are experiencing, from job loss

319
00:19:57,920 --> 00:20:03,480
Speaker 2: to losing people. We are on a very difficult stage

320
00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:08,439
Speaker 2: with mental health and talking to someone unbiased, like a

321
00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:13,720
Speaker 2: therapist or a psychologist or whatever that may be, is

322
00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:16,679
Speaker 2: a brave and great thing to do and there should

323
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:19,680
Speaker 2: be absolutely zero shame attached to that.

324
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:21,679
Speaker 5: I'm Morgan, I'm Sherry.

325
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:27,680
Speaker 14: Currently live in Tennessee, but moved just under three months

326
00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:32,480
Speaker 14: ago from Maryland. Diagnosed with stage four breast cancer about

327
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:36,879
Speaker 14: fifteen months ago, and currently my struggle is because of

328
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:40,760
Speaker 14: my treatment. I've gained a lot of weight and despite

329
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:44,880
Speaker 14: a lot of effort, my treatment is preventing me from

330
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:47,119
Speaker 14: losing weight.

331
00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:50,000
Speaker 5: So not feeling.

332
00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:58,560
Speaker 14: Myself, struggling with body image, really wanting to get back

333
00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:03,920
Speaker 14: into the dating world and New State.

334
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:09,520
Speaker 5: Not knowing anybody.

335
00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:13,359
Speaker 14: Having cancer, meddling weight issues, it's been a lot.

336
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:22,640
Speaker 5: Thanks for leaving me that for a second. Love your pod.

337
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:26,199
Speaker 2: Cherry, I hope you know that you are beautiful and

338
00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:32,440
Speaker 2: I know that just in the way that you presented yourself. Gosh,

339
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:34,320
Speaker 2: and it sounds like you need to give yourself some

340
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:37,720
Speaker 2: grace because you've been through it and you can't fix

341
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:41,360
Speaker 2: the world in one day, and you can't fix yourself

342
00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:45,600
Speaker 2: in one day. You are fighting an illness that shouldn't

343
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:50,160
Speaker 2: exist in the fricking first place. Fuck cancer, But you're

344
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:52,560
Speaker 2: taking care of yourself. You're doing treatments to help you

345
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:53,119
Speaker 2: get better.

346
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:56,080
Speaker 3: And I hate that it's.

347
00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:59,600
Speaker 2: Taking away your confidence and it's hurting you in ways

348
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:02,760
Speaker 2: that you didn't imagine. Probably when this all happened, you

349
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:04,800
Speaker 2: were just thinking about the diagnosis and how you're going

350
00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:08,920
Speaker 2: to survive, and now you're having to face the body

351
00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:13,840
Speaker 2: image struggles and the confidence and things that you just

352
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:16,639
Speaker 2: probably were not anticipating. And I hope you know that

353
00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:20,600
Speaker 2: focusing on surviving and taking care of yourself and your

354
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:22,160
Speaker 2: health right now is all that matters.

355
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:23,920
Speaker 3: The dating will come, the.

356
00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:28,679
Speaker 2: Confidence will come back, The ways that you want to

357
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:32,639
Speaker 2: take care of yourself when you've fully healed will still

358
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:38,240
Speaker 2: be there. And I also help you feel supported by

359
00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:42,640
Speaker 2: whoever is around you and is reminding you that you're

360
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:47,400
Speaker 2: beautiful and going through any of this, especially heck, if

361
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:49,440
Speaker 2: you are trying to date and all of this props

362
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:52,960
Speaker 2: to you because I know that's incredibly difficult, but more

363
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:56,280
Speaker 2: so than that, hopefully it will help you weed few

364
00:22:56,400 --> 00:23:01,399
Speaker 2: even more red flyings that are out there, because hopefully,

365
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:05,120
Speaker 2: if you do meet someone, they show you how incredibly awesome,

366
00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:08,160
Speaker 2: strong and supportive they are, and if not, kick come

367
00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:11,960
Speaker 2: to the curb really fast. But more than anything, I

368
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:14,680
Speaker 2: want you to give yourself some grace because you're going

369
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:18,520
Speaker 2: through a really tough time and moving in all kinds

370
00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:20,880
Speaker 2: of things that are happening at one time for you,

371
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:27,560
Speaker 2: and sometimes it's okay to just survive. There will come

372
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:30,159
Speaker 2: a time in your life when you will thrive and

373
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:34,200
Speaker 2: you will heal and you will feel amazing. And that's

374
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:37,920
Speaker 2: not going to be every day, and that's okay. There

375
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:40,760
Speaker 2: are a lot of days where I often don't feel

376
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:43,240
Speaker 2: great and I feel like, holy crap, what has happened?

377
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:46,600
Speaker 2: And that's just on a normal day. I can't imagine

378
00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:50,199
Speaker 2: dealing with a fight that you're fighting right now and

379
00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:54,159
Speaker 2: trying to feel great about yourself. So I hope you

380
00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:58,600
Speaker 2: give yourself grace. I hope you find your sparkle again,

381
00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:03,520
Speaker 2: and hopefully you can also take some time for yourself

382
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:06,280
Speaker 2: over the holidays and treat yourself to something, whether it's

383
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:12,120
Speaker 2: to a dinner date or a spa or hack your favorite.

384
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:12,840
Speaker 3: Guilty pleasure treat.

385
00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:15,359
Speaker 2: I just want you to give yourself grace and treat

386
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:18,040
Speaker 2: yourself because I think that's what you deserve this holiday.

387
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:24,520
Speaker 15: Okay, when it's hard for us right now is my

388
00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:26,160
Speaker 15: sweet mother in law.

389
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:30,000
Speaker 5: Have a bring in your cup shirt, and.

390
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:36,760
Speaker 15: She's in the hospital undersation and she's alive that they're

391
00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:41,920
Speaker 15: trying to get her brain to stop swelling and everything

392
00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:42,800
Speaker 15: to go down and.

393
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:46,280
Speaker 5: Look normal, and.

394
00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:50,359
Speaker 15: We're just waiting and not know when when she's gonna

395
00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:51,920
Speaker 15: get better and when she's gonna.

396
00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:56,320
Speaker 5: Wake up, and it's just hard, like right now, and

397
00:24:56,480 --> 00:25:02,200
Speaker 5: not having her here for the holidays. That's our hardest things.

398
00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:04,080
Speaker 5: So please keep us in your parish.

399
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:05,240
Speaker 16: Thank you.

400
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:08,000
Speaker 3: Well, we absolutely are.

401
00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:11,439
Speaker 2: And one of the hardest things is to be in

402
00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:14,760
Speaker 2: a situation where you're not getting quick answers and you

403
00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:18,159
Speaker 2: don't know what's going to happen, and the silence of

404
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:21,960
Speaker 2: that is really deafening. Anytime I've had loved ones in

405
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,359
Speaker 2: the hospital, it feels like I'm just waiting by the

406
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:25,960
Speaker 2: phone for that.

407
00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:28,680
Speaker 3: Call or any call for that matter.

408
00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:31,800
Speaker 2: To know what's next or what's coming, and to be

409
00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:36,640
Speaker 2: there and witness it is even more difficult, and right

410
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:38,879
Speaker 2: around the holidays when you just want to all be together,

411
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:42,320
Speaker 2: and it gives you a lot of perspective. The hospital

412
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:46,320
Speaker 2: visits will always bring perspective of how you just wish

413
00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:48,600
Speaker 2: she had time back, or you just wish you had

414
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:49,560
Speaker 2: one more moment of this.

415
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:53,800
Speaker 3: My heart's with you, guys, and I.

416
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:58,479
Speaker 2: Hope that she is able to recover so great and

417
00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:02,280
Speaker 2: be back with you guys, and hopefully you can celebrate

418
00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:05,520
Speaker 2: a really late holiday, but we're thinking about you.

419
00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:08,720
Speaker 16: I think the hardest part of the holidays is learning

420
00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:10,119
Speaker 16: to navigate.

421
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:18,960
Speaker 5: Them without your parents. It's a whole new normal.

422
00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:25,520
Speaker 16: That you're absolutely not used to, especially when you don't

423
00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:33,960
Speaker 16: have a lot of family around, or when you possibly

424
00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:37,560
Speaker 16: do have a lot of family around, but you are

425
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:47,120
Speaker 16: not close with them, and it's absolutely a struggle. That's

426
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:56,640
Speaker 16: a very hard thing to navigate through the holidays, regardless

427
00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:03,280
Speaker 16: of what holiday it is, and it's especially hard when

428
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:11,040
Speaker 16: those holidays were your parents' favorite. So for anyone that's

429
00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:13,080
Speaker 16: dealing with that, whether it be.

430
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:15,360
Speaker 4: A new normal or an old normal.

431
00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:21,080
Speaker 16: My heart absolutely goes out to you and just know

432
00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:25,600
Speaker 16: that it's a struggles for all of us.

433
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:32,560
Speaker 2: I can't imagine the idea of even losing my parents

434
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:37,359
Speaker 2: makes me tear up, so I cannot imagine what that

435
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:39,000
Speaker 2: day will be like when they're no longer here.

436
00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:41,280
Speaker 3: And the grief I.

437
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:45,400
Speaker 2: Hear in your voice is heartbreaking. And to face holiday

438
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:48,880
Speaker 2: that they loved, that you probably spent together and did

439
00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:49,520
Speaker 2: all kinds of.

440
00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:52,760
Speaker 3: Wonderful things, that's hard.

441
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:57,320
Speaker 2: And I wish there were magic words that I could

442
00:27:57,400 --> 00:28:01,320
Speaker 2: say and to make it all better and give you

443
00:28:01,359 --> 00:28:04,879
Speaker 2: a band aid to help the pain, but there isn't.

444
00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:10,200
Speaker 2: I have a few of these that are about grief,

445
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:13,560
Speaker 2: so I'm gonna I'm gonna let them share, and then

446
00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:18,600
Speaker 2: I will give you CRIDs my perspective on grief.

447
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:21,400
Speaker 5: Just the first.

448
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:24,280
Speaker 17: Christmas since my dad passed away, and I'm having a

449
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:28,479
Speaker 17: hard time. It's hard just to keep going on with

450
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:32,679
Speaker 17: life as usual when it feels like my world is

451
00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:34,000
Speaker 17: standing still.

452
00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:38,840
Speaker 5: Hey Morgan, I am my name slogan. I live in Maryland.

453
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:41,600
Speaker 18: Me and my wife had our first baby in January,

454
00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:48,040
Speaker 18: and my mother passed away on November ninth of this

455
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:51,719
Speaker 18: year from non small cell lung cancer.

456
00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:52,880
Speaker 3: So that's been.

457
00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:58,920
Speaker 18: Tough to navigate, but just gonna keep pushing through. Appreciate

458
00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:01,000
Speaker 18: you guys and the Bobby Bunch Show. I listen to

459
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:03,400
Speaker 18: you every day and thank you for what you do.

460
00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:05,520
Speaker 6: Hi.

461
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:06,560
Speaker 5: My name is Nicole.

462
00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:10,400
Speaker 19: I lost my husband to brain cancer two years ago.

463
00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:15,160
Speaker 19: The Christmas season has become a bit more difficult because

464
00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:22,600
Speaker 19: of that reason. We celebrate with our friends and our family,

465
00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:28,560
Speaker 19: but that only illuminates that my family's not all together

466
00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:32,880
Speaker 19: and seeing all of their families together and the new

467
00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:37,720
Speaker 19: year just signifies like another year that he won't see.

468
00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:43,440
Speaker 2: There's a lot of grief messages that I received in

469
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:45,600
Speaker 2: lieu of this podcast.

470
00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:50,360
Speaker 12: The loss of a friend three weeks after she was

471
00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:57,400
Speaker 12: diagnosed with cancer. We all feel lost when we miss her.

472
00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:00,360
Speaker 2: There's a few more of that I'll get into here

473
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:06,360
Speaker 2: in a second, but I just want to address grief because.

474
00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:11,000
Speaker 3: Grief, to me is love.

475
00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:16,360
Speaker 2: And I think I saw a quote somewhere online. I

476
00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:19,360
Speaker 2: definitely know I didn't make this up, but grief is

477
00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:23,760
Speaker 2: love with nowhere to go. And I always thought that

478
00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:27,959
Speaker 2: was really pretty, because just because somebody's gone doesn't mean

479
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:31,400
Speaker 2: you stop loving them, doesn't mean their story's over in

480
00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:33,760
Speaker 2: your life. Heck, it probably means that their story is

481
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:38,800
Speaker 2: more so part of your life. Like I had mentioned earlier,

482
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:43,120
Speaker 2: just because there's an ending doesn't mean the entire story

483
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:48,000
Speaker 2: is closed. And how those people will carry on through

484
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:51,200
Speaker 2: each of you that shared that, and how you're going

485
00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:55,640
Speaker 2: to share their stories as your life goes on, it's

486
00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:58,040
Speaker 2: really cool to think about because they get to live

487
00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:00,000
Speaker 2: on through you.

488
00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:02,680
Speaker 3: But man, I just.

489
00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:09,280
Speaker 2: My heart breaks for anyone who has to experience loss

490
00:31:09,320 --> 00:31:17,840
Speaker 2: on any level, because grief is hard and you'll get

491
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:20,280
Speaker 2: hit with it at random parts of any day, and

492
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:24,960
Speaker 2: so many of you are losing parents, and the idea

493
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:31,680
Speaker 2: of that, even thinking about losing mine or thinking about

494
00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:33,600
Speaker 2: the loss of my grandparents, just.

495
00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:39,200
Speaker 3: It rattles in my brain. And for you guys to

496
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:40,160
Speaker 3: have lost people so.

497
00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:44,880
Speaker 2: Near and dear to your heart while experiencing like the

498
00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:47,880
Speaker 2: guy who shared that they had just had a baby,

499
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:50,240
Speaker 2: and it sounds based on that timeline she got to

500
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:55,000
Speaker 2: meet your guys's first child, which is so beautiful. But

501
00:31:55,120 --> 00:32:02,760
Speaker 2: I know hard do things can be true always, But

502
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:05,080
Speaker 2: grief is just one of those prices we pay for

503
00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:11,239
Speaker 2: loving and showing up. And it's easy to look at

504
00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:12,560
Speaker 2: the other side of that and say, well, if I

505
00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:14,600
Speaker 2: didn't love and I didn't show up, then I don't

506
00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:17,640
Speaker 2: have to feel that pain one day. But I don't

507
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:19,960
Speaker 2: know about you, guys. I think I'd feel the pain

508
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:23,760
Speaker 2: a million times over to experience the love that I

509
00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:29,000
Speaker 2: get experience in my life even without those people still here. Dang,

510
00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:31,240
Speaker 2: I need a water break, my emotional sport water bottles

511
00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:36,400
Speaker 2: claim my name. So oh okay, I told you guys,

512
00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:40,360
Speaker 2: I'm an impath. So I feel the pain and I

513
00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:43,640
Speaker 2: feel the hurt and a lot of these and gosh,

514
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:46,360
Speaker 2: there's a few more that address that, but also some

515
00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:47,640
Speaker 2: other things.

516
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:51,000
Speaker 5: Morgan, thanks for asking.

517
00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:55,800
Speaker 20: It has been a rough season and not many people

518
00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:59,360
Speaker 20: want to hear about it or talk about it. I

519
00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:04,080
Speaker 20: lost my back friend that nearly thirty years in March.

520
00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:06,600
Speaker 5: She passed away from pancreatic cancer.

521
00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:10,760
Speaker 20: We raised our daughters together, who were also best friends.

522
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:16,560
Speaker 20: So this holiday season has been difficult without her. We

523
00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:22,480
Speaker 20: walked through her cancer trial together the last two years.

524
00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:33,160
Speaker 5: So yeah, there's that. Also, can I just say work,

525
00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:35,280
Speaker 5: I've been at.

526
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:39,720
Speaker 20: Doing my job for over forty years now, and there's

527
00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:43,800
Speaker 20: just been a lot of changes with the computer and

528
00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:47,719
Speaker 20: a lot of changes basically, and I feel like everything

529
00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:51,160
Speaker 20: I've known for forty years I no longer know, so

530
00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:56,160
Speaker 20: that has been overwhelming as well, but we'll get through it.

531
00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:58,520
Speaker 5: Twenty twenty six will be another new.

532
00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:07,000
Speaker 2: Year, another loss that unspeakable I can't imagine. I know

533
00:34:07,080 --> 00:34:10,600
Speaker 2: that you guys are probably supporting her daughter, being that

534
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:15,520
Speaker 2: your daughter is her best friend and she probably feels

535
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:18,600
Speaker 2: like you're a second mom to her. So I hope

536
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:22,040
Speaker 2: that friendship continues to be such an important part of

537
00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:25,320
Speaker 2: your guys's lives, because again, her memory is going to

538
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:29,040
Speaker 2: live on through that. But I can't imagine that kind

539
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:33,640
Speaker 2: of loss, and my heart goes out to you. The

540
00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:36,680
Speaker 2: work side of this is fair. You guys can share

541
00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:39,480
Speaker 2: audio message about anything that's bothering you, guys. I love

542
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:41,680
Speaker 2: hearing from you guys, because this is real life.

543
00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:43,040
Speaker 3: Work is hard.

544
00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:45,759
Speaker 2: It doesn't matter if you have the most perfect job

545
00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:48,359
Speaker 2: in the world or you people think you have the

546
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:49,360
Speaker 2: best job in the world.

547
00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:53,640
Speaker 3: Work is hard. Work is work, and anybody who says

548
00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:55,400
Speaker 3: work isn't work is lying to you.

549
00:34:56,719 --> 00:35:00,799
Speaker 2: It takes time and effort, and it's draining, and we

550
00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:05,440
Speaker 2: don't get near enough breaks to feel things that are

551
00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:08,440
Speaker 2: going on through our lives often, which means We're balancing

552
00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:09,759
Speaker 2: eighty different plates.

553
00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:10,080
Speaker 3: All the time.

554
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:14,280
Speaker 2: So work is very real, especially around the holidays. Everybody's

555
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:15,919
Speaker 2: about to finally take a big break, and I feel

556
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:18,440
Speaker 2: like it's the one time of year everybody resets.

557
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:19,920
Speaker 3: We talk about New Year's.

558
00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:22,399
Speaker 2: Eve and New Year's and the new resolutions, but can

559
00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:24,560
Speaker 2: we talk about the break that we get at Christmas?

560
00:35:24,560 --> 00:35:27,640
Speaker 2: Everybody for the most part, and if anybody else doesn't

561
00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:29,120
Speaker 2: get one, I think we should just shut everything down.

562
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:31,480
Speaker 3: The world should shut down for a week and we.

563
00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:33,919
Speaker 2: All just get a break from life and each other

564
00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:35,720
Speaker 2: and do whatever we want to do for that week,

565
00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:41,919
Speaker 2: and then we reopen. Everybody can breathe a big sigh

566
00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:45,040
Speaker 2: of relief because we got the break that we all deserved.

567
00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:49,000
Speaker 3: Let me just say that. So here's another one about work.

568
00:35:50,040 --> 00:35:50,640
Speaker 19: Hi Morgan.

569
00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:54,279
Speaker 1: Name's autumn on an emergency or nurse, and this is

570
00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:57,839
Speaker 1: the toughest season I would save for my life.

571
00:35:57,760 --> 00:35:59,200
Speaker 5: Especially during flu season.

572
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:03,160
Speaker 1: Everybody's coming in sick, COVID's rising again, and there's a

573
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:07,440
Speaker 1: new flu strand going around. Nobody's wanting to get vaccinated,

574
00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:15,200
Speaker 1: fair choice. We're short staffed, overworked, the usual. We're not

575
00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:20,719
Speaker 1: considered as professionals anymore to everyone's opinion. Yeah, it's just

576
00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:27,040
Speaker 1: very tiring, and yeah it makes my anxiety very high,

577
00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:34,160
Speaker 1: my depressions kicking in, and it's just very overwhelming. But

578
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:38,320
Speaker 1: congratulations to you and a new boyfriend. I'm very happy

579
00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:41,600
Speaker 1: that you felt this body who can treasure you in

580
00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:45,839
Speaker 1: value your values. Thank you for everything that you do

581
00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:49,919
Speaker 1: your podcast. If it wasn't for your podcast, I would

582
00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:52,520
Speaker 1: not be able to get through the day. I enjoyed

583
00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:55,640
Speaker 1: listening to it. I hope you, your family, and your

584
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:58,919
Speaker 1: boyfriend have a happy holiday and a good year.

585
00:36:59,520 --> 00:36:59,800
Speaker 5: Wife.

586
00:37:01,560 --> 00:37:03,960
Speaker 2: First of all, this felt like an actual voice momo

587
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:05,800
Speaker 2: coming from one of my friends in a text message,

588
00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:06,680
Speaker 2: which was so sweet.

589
00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:09,720
Speaker 3: Thank you to the kind woman who.

590
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:11,680
Speaker 2: Shared that, because there's a lot of effort that goes

591
00:37:11,719 --> 00:37:13,920
Speaker 2: into this podcast and hearing that it helps you and

592
00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:14,600
Speaker 2: it gets.

593
00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:15,920
Speaker 3: You through the day means a lot to me. So

594
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:19,799
Speaker 3: thanks for listening. One. Two, I just want to.

595
00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:23,919
Speaker 2: Shout out all the people out there, the educators, those

596
00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:28,240
Speaker 2: that work in the medical field, nurses, teachers specifically.

597
00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:32,920
Speaker 3: Everybody has a role to play in our lives.

598
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:37,120
Speaker 2: Everybody has a role that matters and an education that matters,

599
00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:42,720
Speaker 2: and we need teachers, we need nurses. We need people

600
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:46,040
Speaker 2: to support us through every phase of our life, and

601
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:48,000
Speaker 2: what you do matters.

602
00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:49,360
Speaker 3: The work you're doing matters.

603
00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:54,720
Speaker 2: I have two educators in my family, I have nurses

604
00:37:54,719 --> 00:37:58,719
Speaker 2: in my extended family, and I recognize you as very

605
00:37:58,719 --> 00:38:01,960
Speaker 2: important and very valuable. And I think the work that

606
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:04,920
Speaker 2: you're doing is hard and the things that you guys

607
00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:07,240
Speaker 2: deal with is unimaginable, and.

608
00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:09,239
Speaker 5: Just as I.

609
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:12,120
Speaker 2: Feel that every job that we have out there is

610
00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:18,080
Speaker 2: necessary right now, and there's things that change and develop

611
00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:21,400
Speaker 2: over time, but we're always going to need teachers and

612
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:26,920
Speaker 2: nurses in some form or fashion, and there's so much

613
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:29,080
Speaker 2: crazy noise happening on social media around them.

614
00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:30,400
Speaker 3: But just know that I appreciate you.

615
00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:32,479
Speaker 2: I appreciate the work that you're doing and the work

616
00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:36,640
Speaker 2: that went into you guys being able to do that work.

617
00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:39,319
Speaker 2: So I know it's a really rough time and I

618
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:42,720
Speaker 2: know that you guys are in a really hard space,

619
00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:47,120
Speaker 2: but please know I appreciate you. I know there's a

620
00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:50,319
Speaker 2: whole lot of people that appreciate you, and I don't

621
00:38:50,320 --> 00:38:52,120
Speaker 2: want you to stop doing what you're doing, But take

622
00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:54,840
Speaker 2: a deep breath, take some time for yourself over the holidays,

623
00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:59,080
Speaker 2: and hopefully you can come back and be stronger than

624
00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:00,880
Speaker 2: ever to keep some are we in the ways that

625
00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:03,880
Speaker 2: feel meaningful for you in another work.

626
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:05,080
Speaker 3: Capacity, we have a few of these.

627
00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:07,440
Speaker 5: So I was let go.

628
00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:10,239
Speaker 8: At the end of May, a month before moving to

629
00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:15,279
Speaker 8: a brand new place, hours from friends and family, and

630
00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:17,600
Speaker 8: it's been really hard. I've been looking for a job.

631
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:19,360
Speaker 8: I've been trying to settle in a new place. But

632
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:22,279
Speaker 8: that's hard to do when you're working retail part time

633
00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:24,720
Speaker 8: with a variable schedule to try to make some money,

634
00:39:25,239 --> 00:39:30,000
Speaker 8: money that does not make ends meet. And when you

635
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:32,240
Speaker 8: need a little help or talk to about it, people

636
00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:34,359
Speaker 8: tell you that you're not working hard enough, or you're

637
00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:37,520
Speaker 8: not doing enough, or you just need a job. As

638
00:39:37,560 --> 00:39:40,920
Speaker 8: if I'm not applying and interviewing and being told things

639
00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:42,960
Speaker 8: like great, you made it to the top ten. We

640
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:46,040
Speaker 8: got a thousand applications in three days. And then you

641
00:39:46,080 --> 00:39:47,719
Speaker 8: don't make it to the final round, or you make

642
00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:49,240
Speaker 8: it to the final round and they choose a different

643
00:39:49,239 --> 00:39:52,839
Speaker 8: candidate because they've got a thousand to choose from. It's

644
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:55,960
Speaker 8: really frustrating and been a tough season, which I hope

645
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:56,600
Speaker 8: is coming.

646
00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:56,960
Speaker 5: To a close.

647
00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:00,640
Speaker 2: I hope for you too, that's coming to a close

648
00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:04,160
Speaker 2: because I'm gonna say this and people probably disagree, but

649
00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:07,360
Speaker 2: looking for a job is a job in itself. To

650
00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:10,279
Speaker 2: apply for jobs these days takes a whole lot of

651
00:40:10,320 --> 00:40:14,439
Speaker 2: work and a whole lot of effort. So as long

652
00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:17,640
Speaker 2: as you're applying and trying things, you are doing a lot.

653
00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:19,040
Speaker 3: You're trying a lot of things.

654
00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:21,839
Speaker 2: Heck, even if you're not applying and you're taking a

655
00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:25,279
Speaker 2: break because things went to crap and you're trying to

656
00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:29,040
Speaker 2: regroup and reset, you're also doing a lot. So I

657
00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:32,319
Speaker 2: hope you quiet out the noise, put some earmuffs on,

658
00:40:32,600 --> 00:40:37,719
Speaker 2: and take everything out of this picture, and know that

659
00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:40,640
Speaker 2: your new season is coming. This is just a bump

660
00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:43,000
Speaker 2: in your road, and there will come a time when

661
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:44,480
Speaker 2: you look back in your life and you will have

662
00:40:44,520 --> 00:40:47,359
Speaker 2: gotten over it, and you did it because of how

663
00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:49,640
Speaker 2: strong you are, because of how much you push yourself

664
00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:53,600
Speaker 2: and the willpower that you do have. So quiet the

665
00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:58,480
Speaker 2: noise around you, because sometimes the people around us can

666
00:40:58,520 --> 00:41:00,680
Speaker 2: also be really detrimental to us when we're going through

667
00:41:00,719 --> 00:41:04,239
Speaker 2: a certain season. They're really helpful and they're necessary and important,

668
00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:08,120
Speaker 2: but sometimes it's also necessary and important to focus on

669
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:12,480
Speaker 2: you and go into your own shell cocoon and focus

670
00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:15,520
Speaker 2: on what's the most important thing for you right now

671
00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:19,560
Speaker 2: in this moment. And I hope that season does come

672
00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:21,200
Speaker 2: to an end so you can start your new one

673
00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:24,160
Speaker 2: and it's incredible, and you kick ass at a new

674
00:41:24,239 --> 00:41:26,760
Speaker 2: job because you will and you'll find.

675
00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:28,920
Speaker 3: It, even if it's a small job to get to

676
00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:29,520
Speaker 3: a big job.

677
00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:34,120
Speaker 2: There's always seasons of this where we never know what

678
00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:39,480
Speaker 2: is just around the corner. And I think there is

679
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:42,439
Speaker 2: more around your corner, because this isn't the ending half

680
00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:43,720
Speaker 2: the time, it's only the beginning.

681
00:41:49,920 --> 00:41:54,480
Speaker 21: After my mom thought rist cancer and one my husband

682
00:41:54,520 --> 00:42:01,240
Speaker 21: and I struggled with fertility miscarriages, still struggling, probably can't

683
00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:07,759
Speaker 21: have kids, and then lost my dad this summer, so

684
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:16,920
Speaker 21: really struggling season with being grateful that my mom survived and.

685
00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:22,440
Speaker 5: With the loss of someone you loves and the hardships

686
00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:24,200
Speaker 5: that go along with fertility issues.

687
00:42:26,480 --> 00:42:29,600
Speaker 2: Oh man, all of those things that I can't personally

688
00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:34,279
Speaker 2: imagine and I've never walked through. But gosh, to be

689
00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:37,280
Speaker 2: able to celebrate your mom beating something while also losing

690
00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:41,440
Speaker 2: another parent and to be really wanting something to happen

691
00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:44,560
Speaker 2: and hoping that this is going to happen for you, guys,

692
00:42:45,160 --> 00:42:47,120
Speaker 2: while experiencing those two things.

693
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:48,880
Speaker 3: Holy crap, I.

694
00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:52,560
Speaker 2: Simply couldn't put myself in your shoes even if I

695
00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:56,840
Speaker 2: wanted to. And I'm sorry that this is all happening

696
00:42:56,880 --> 00:43:00,359
Speaker 2: at the same time. When it rains, it pours something

697
00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:01,319
Speaker 2: to that effect, and.

698
00:43:02,719 --> 00:43:03,359
Speaker 3: Man it does.

699
00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:06,400
Speaker 2: Sometimes you're dealt with a hurricane instead of a tornado,

700
00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:07,880
Speaker 2: or a light rain.

701
00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:10,359
Speaker 3: Instead of a tsunami.

702
00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:13,320
Speaker 2: But I'm sorry that yours seems to have been a

703
00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:16,879
Speaker 2: tsunami for the last several months. And I hope that

704
00:43:18,040 --> 00:43:22,600
Speaker 2: one you are able to find some love and light

705
00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:26,640
Speaker 2: in the memories of your dad and also hopefully receive

706
00:43:26,719 --> 00:43:29,600
Speaker 2: some good news soon or a new door opening in

707
00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:33,680
Speaker 2: some way. If it isn't the path that you guys

708
00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:36,319
Speaker 2: want to be on, but maybe it's an even better one.

709
00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:40,360
Speaker 2: So my heart goes out to you. I can't imagine

710
00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:42,360
Speaker 2: balancing all of those things at one time.

711
00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:48,880
Speaker 22: I H's Sap from Apple Belli, California. It's been a

712
00:43:48,920 --> 00:43:54,080
Speaker 22: rough year, some health issues, some financial issues. Being fifty

713
00:43:54,160 --> 00:43:59,680
Speaker 22: six and single, I'm not sure how to navigate this.

714
00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:02,960
Speaker 22: I do have two great kids and four amazing grandkids,

715
00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:06,840
Speaker 22: so that keeps me going, and some great friends, but

716
00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:13,040
Speaker 22: I would really like to figure out life and be

717
00:44:13,160 --> 00:44:14,920
Speaker 22: happy on my own.

718
00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:20,840
Speaker 5: With myself. So hopefully this helps.

719
00:44:22,960 --> 00:44:25,560
Speaker 2: I do hope you're able to find the happiness within

720
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:29,080
Speaker 2: yourself because it's a really fun season when you can

721
00:44:29,120 --> 00:44:31,239
Speaker 2: hit that. I heard the hurt in your voice of

722
00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:32,520
Speaker 2: fifty two in single.

723
00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:33,319
Speaker 3: I hope you know.

724
00:44:33,239 --> 00:44:37,239
Speaker 2: That love doesn't have an age limit. That's going to

725
00:44:37,320 --> 00:44:39,440
Speaker 2: come at any point in time in your life when

726
00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:42,280
Speaker 2: it's supposed to happen. Oh, I know, I can't believe

727
00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:45,759
Speaker 2: I'm saying that, but it will, and you're more than

728
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:46,400
Speaker 2: capable of it.

729
00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:49,240
Speaker 3: Because here's the thing. This is what I always told myself.

730
00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:52,920
Speaker 2: I exist, and I have love in my heart, and

731
00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:55,520
Speaker 2: I have so much love to give. And if I exist,

732
00:44:56,320 --> 00:44:58,920
Speaker 2: then someone else out there exists to give me that

733
00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:03,120
Speaker 2: same thing in return. And it's really hard often to

734
00:45:03,160 --> 00:45:06,080
Speaker 2: see that. It's hard to see through all the mud

735
00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:10,160
Speaker 2: and things that you've gone through to hope that there's

736
00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:12,560
Speaker 2: a light at the end of that tunnel. But there

737
00:45:12,600 --> 00:45:17,040
Speaker 2: always is, and unfortunately sometimes it takes a really long

738
00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:20,880
Speaker 2: time to get to that light, but you always will.

739
00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:25,799
Speaker 2: Maybe it's more of a lighthouse than a shining studio light,

740
00:45:26,480 --> 00:45:28,839
Speaker 2: but you will, and it will happen, and I think

741
00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:31,520
Speaker 2: it's gonna be beautiful when it does, and it's gonna

742
00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:34,440
Speaker 2: be a new season for you because you're gonna be

743
00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:37,280
Speaker 2: like fifty two and married and it's gonna be awesome,

744
00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:40,040
Speaker 2: and you're deserving of that. You're deserving to find love

745
00:45:40,080 --> 00:45:42,719
Speaker 2: as many times as you want to. You're deserving to

746
00:45:43,560 --> 00:45:45,279
Speaker 2: never get married again if you don't want to, if

747
00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:48,120
Speaker 2: you want to be fifty two and single, maybe you're

748
00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:50,800
Speaker 2: single and you're like, heck, yeah, I really like this life.

749
00:45:50,840 --> 00:45:52,440
Speaker 3: Never again do I want to be married?

750
00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:55,279
Speaker 2: And whatever you choose, I hope you know that it's

751
00:45:55,320 --> 00:46:00,600
Speaker 2: gonna be an awesome decision either way. But I want

752
00:46:00,640 --> 00:46:04,280
Speaker 2: to also recognize that I know how hard a single

753
00:46:04,400 --> 00:46:09,640
Speaker 2: season is, especially being a single mom and having beautiful kids,

754
00:46:09,640 --> 00:46:12,080
Speaker 2: and also knowing you have history in certain scenarios, and

755
00:46:12,760 --> 00:46:15,520
Speaker 2: all of those things are hard and they're difficult all

756
00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:16,080
Speaker 2: on their own.

757
00:46:16,239 --> 00:46:19,239
Speaker 3: So I hope you're another one.

758
00:46:19,320 --> 00:46:22,080
Speaker 2: Where gosh, I hope everybody here is giving themselves a

759
00:46:22,120 --> 00:46:26,319
Speaker 2: lot of grace and understanding because the new season will

760
00:46:26,320 --> 00:46:29,520
Speaker 2: come and I think it's going to be pretty awesome

761
00:46:29,680 --> 00:46:31,440
Speaker 2: for you. Michelle and Apple Valley.

762
00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:35,160
Speaker 23: I would say that one of the toughest parts about

763
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:39,160
Speaker 23: the season is newly dating someone else, or you've been

764
00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:41,160
Speaker 23: with someone for a year and it's time to start

765
00:46:41,840 --> 00:46:43,360
Speaker 23: sharing holidays.

766
00:46:44,560 --> 00:46:47,120
Speaker 6: Which holidays do you spend with which family?

767
00:46:47,760 --> 00:46:50,120
Speaker 4: And you want to make sure you do it.

768
00:46:50,280 --> 00:46:53,319
Speaker 8: When you choose the family to spend say, Christmas with,

769
00:46:53,960 --> 00:46:55,120
Speaker 8: you want to do it in.

770
00:46:55,080 --> 00:46:58,960
Speaker 5: A way that doesn't hurt the other family. And I'm

771
00:46:59,000 --> 00:46:59,920
Speaker 5: finding that this is.

772
00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:02,560
Speaker 23: Harder than I thought it would be to make sure

773
00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:04,840
Speaker 23: that no feelings are hurt.

774
00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:07,000
Speaker 3: I'm currently going through this.

775
00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:10,840
Speaker 2: It's so much fun to get to have new people

776
00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:13,400
Speaker 2: in your life and more people to spend holidays with.

777
00:47:13,480 --> 00:47:15,080
Speaker 3: It's almost a blessing.

778
00:47:15,520 --> 00:47:18,440
Speaker 2: At the same time, it's also difficult where you're trying

779
00:47:18,480 --> 00:47:22,080
Speaker 2: to balance everybody's feelings. You're trying to not hurt anybody's

780
00:47:22,080 --> 00:47:25,640
Speaker 2: You're trying to make sure you're nurturing relationships while also

781
00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:30,000
Speaker 2: keeping your family and those relationships that you've had for

782
00:47:30,040 --> 00:47:34,680
Speaker 2: decades happy. And oftentimes people do get hurt in the

783
00:47:34,719 --> 00:47:39,359
Speaker 2: mixture of changes because it's bound to happen. You can't

784
00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:41,520
Speaker 2: make everybody happy. You can only do all the things

785
00:47:41,560 --> 00:47:43,959
Speaker 2: that you can do right, and there's only enough time

786
00:47:44,080 --> 00:47:47,959
Speaker 2: in so many days, but I think there's also an.

787
00:47:47,880 --> 00:47:51,160
Speaker 3: Excitement to it where you get to add.

788
00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:53,719
Speaker 2: New people into your life and find new traditions and

789
00:47:53,800 --> 00:47:56,080
Speaker 2: find new things that you never knew existed.

790
00:47:56,880 --> 00:48:00,080
Speaker 3: But this is one of those scenarios where it can also.

791
00:47:59,880 --> 00:48:03,200
Speaker 2: Be equally as hard if you have family who has

792
00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:04,919
Speaker 2: a lot of opinions and has a lot to say

793
00:48:04,920 --> 00:48:07,960
Speaker 2: and they want things done a certain way, and that

794
00:48:08,120 --> 00:48:12,759
Speaker 2: challenge can be really tough, especially on partnerships. So one

795
00:48:12,760 --> 00:48:16,080
Speaker 2: of the things that I know I keep doing with

796
00:48:16,239 --> 00:48:18,760
Speaker 2: my boyfriend is checking in and saying, how are you feeling,

797
00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:20,640
Speaker 2: give me your actual feelings about this.

798
00:48:20,719 --> 00:48:22,560
Speaker 3: Tell me what you think I need to know where

799
00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:23,120
Speaker 3: you stand.

800
00:48:23,719 --> 00:48:27,399
Speaker 2: And it's checking in with each other because oftentimes our

801
00:48:27,440 --> 00:48:30,440
Speaker 2: two opinions could get lost in that mix of deciding

802
00:48:30,480 --> 00:48:33,080
Speaker 2: what's best and how we're going to go this way

803
00:48:33,200 --> 00:48:35,080
Speaker 2: or that way where we're going to spend each holiday.

804
00:48:35,239 --> 00:48:38,640
Speaker 2: And there's a lot of conversations that him and I

805
00:48:38,680 --> 00:48:41,600
Speaker 2: have had of just trying to make sure him and

806
00:48:41,640 --> 00:48:43,920
Speaker 2: I are both happy and are both getting what we

807
00:48:44,040 --> 00:48:46,000
Speaker 2: want and how do we do that?

808
00:48:46,040 --> 00:48:46,840
Speaker 3: What does that look like?

809
00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:51,640
Speaker 2: So really open honest conversations, and that is on both

810
00:48:51,680 --> 00:48:54,480
Speaker 2: partners to share all their honest feelings and thoughts when

811
00:48:54,480 --> 00:48:57,120
Speaker 2: I know it's hard. But it's also on both partners

812
00:48:57,160 --> 00:49:00,399
Speaker 2: to own situations too, right, It's on both of them

813
00:49:00,440 --> 00:49:03,200
Speaker 2: to not only be able to share their real feelings

814
00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:05,120
Speaker 2: but also help navigate their families.

815
00:49:05,200 --> 00:49:07,320
Speaker 3: They have to show up and say.

816
00:49:07,160 --> 00:49:09,120
Speaker 2: Hey, we're going to do this, and you're owning that

817
00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:12,080
Speaker 2: as a partnership, not just saying oh, well, my husband

818
00:49:12,120 --> 00:49:14,759
Speaker 2: wants to do this, or well him saying my wife

819
00:49:14,840 --> 00:49:15,480
Speaker 2: wants to do this.

820
00:49:15,600 --> 00:49:16,840
Speaker 3: It's owning that.

821
00:49:16,719 --> 00:49:20,239
Speaker 2: You're a team and working through that together. And we're

822
00:49:20,320 --> 00:49:22,440
Speaker 2: very much in the real thick of that right now

823
00:49:22,480 --> 00:49:25,240
Speaker 2: as I'm doing this podcast episode.

824
00:49:25,320 --> 00:49:27,480
Speaker 3: So communication is such a big part of that, but

825
00:49:28,360 --> 00:49:30,000
Speaker 3: also just how cool that we.

826
00:49:30,040 --> 00:49:34,399
Speaker 2: Get new traditions and new memories and things that never

827
00:49:34,760 --> 00:49:37,080
Speaker 2: in my wild the dreams did I see happening in

828
00:49:37,120 --> 00:49:37,560
Speaker 2: my life.

829
00:49:38,520 --> 00:49:41,320
Speaker 3: And here is our last entry for the podcast.

830
00:49:41,680 --> 00:49:43,920
Speaker 5: Hi, this is Jennifer in Oklahoma City.

831
00:49:44,800 --> 00:49:50,160
Speaker 24: And for me, I am at the age where I

832
00:49:50,200 --> 00:49:53,719
Speaker 24: still have children. I have my youngest is a freshman

833
00:49:53,880 --> 00:49:57,200
Speaker 24: or actually she's a sophomore in college and she's out

834
00:49:57,200 --> 00:49:59,319
Speaker 24: of state, so I'm trying to help her along. But

835
00:49:59,360 --> 00:50:01,600
Speaker 24: then I also have of aging parents who have reached

836
00:50:01,600 --> 00:50:03,719
Speaker 24: the age where they need a little bit of help too,

837
00:50:04,400 --> 00:50:07,160
Speaker 24: So I'm caught between my kids and my parents. And

838
00:50:07,200 --> 00:50:10,640
Speaker 24: I will say this, aging parents are much harder to

839
00:50:10,719 --> 00:50:14,640
Speaker 24: raise than even teenagers. But I just am trying to

840
00:50:14,719 --> 00:50:18,440
Speaker 24: find other people that are in that phase of life

841
00:50:18,680 --> 00:50:21,920
Speaker 24: and build that support. I'm really throwing myself into the

842
00:50:21,960 --> 00:50:25,560
Speaker 24: holidays because it's my favorite time of year and I'm

843
00:50:25,600 --> 00:50:27,840
Speaker 24: lucky that I get to rely on my faith.

844
00:50:28,040 --> 00:50:29,520
Speaker 5: And I'm grateful.

845
00:50:29,320 --> 00:50:31,600
Speaker 24: Morgan that you asked us to share, because I think

846
00:50:31,640 --> 00:50:34,160
Speaker 24: that's really what it's about. It's connecting to others and

847
00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:38,520
Speaker 24: finding out that you are not alone can be incredibly powerful.

848
00:50:39,040 --> 00:50:41,400
Speaker 24: So as always, I'm grateful for you. I'm grateful for

849
00:50:41,440 --> 00:50:45,120
Speaker 24: your podcast, and I just wish you the merriest of

850
00:50:45,200 --> 00:50:47,479
Speaker 24: Christmases and to all of your listeners as well.

851
00:50:47,840 --> 00:50:50,400
Speaker 2: This is a beautiful one to end on for a

852
00:50:50,400 --> 00:50:52,239
Speaker 2: lot of ways. One because this is someone who is

853
00:50:52,320 --> 00:50:56,240
Speaker 2: navigating multiple different changes in their life, but who's trying

854
00:50:56,280 --> 00:50:58,840
Speaker 2: to do it with support in a community and find

855
00:50:58,880 --> 00:51:01,479
Speaker 2: friends while there is a lot of things happening in life,

856
00:51:01,560 --> 00:51:04,440
Speaker 2: and I think that's one of the hardest things of life.

857
00:51:04,440 --> 00:51:06,960
Speaker 2: It's one of the lessons that I've learned this year

858
00:51:07,880 --> 00:51:10,799
Speaker 2: is that when you go through life changes, and when

859
00:51:10,840 --> 00:51:15,000
Speaker 2: people in your life go through life changes, oftentimes friendships

860
00:51:15,200 --> 00:51:19,480
Speaker 2: end and relationships change, and it's hard.

861
00:51:20,200 --> 00:51:22,080
Speaker 3: It's hard. It's really difficult to to.

862
00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:25,160
Speaker 2: You know, as I get older and I see my

863
00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:27,960
Speaker 2: parents getting older and encouraging them to take care of

864
00:51:28,080 --> 00:51:30,640
Speaker 2: themselves in certain ways and do this and do that,

865
00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:33,240
Speaker 2: while also trying to just let them live their lives

866
00:51:33,239 --> 00:51:36,799
Speaker 2: how they want to, and wanting to talk to my

867
00:51:36,920 --> 00:51:42,480
Speaker 2: grandma about doing things so she's around forever. And I

868
00:51:42,520 --> 00:51:45,560
Speaker 2: think it's hard when you're in a season of life

869
00:51:45,600 --> 00:51:48,880
Speaker 2: where everything just feels up in the air and not

870
00:51:48,960 --> 00:51:52,560
Speaker 2: anything is settled, and that very much feels like this

871
00:51:52,920 --> 00:51:55,359
Speaker 2: situation to me, and I could be completely wrong, but

872
00:51:56,360 --> 00:51:58,640
Speaker 2: in trying to find friends who can relate to that right,

873
00:51:58,680 --> 00:52:01,839
Speaker 2: because we like to have friendships that connect to where

874
00:52:01,840 --> 00:52:03,200
Speaker 2: we're at in our stage of life.

875
00:52:03,280 --> 00:52:05,120
Speaker 3: It's often why we see.

876
00:52:04,960 --> 00:52:07,839
Speaker 2: People who are single and all single together and then

877
00:52:08,200 --> 00:52:10,920
Speaker 2: you get in a relationship and hopefully those friendships stay.

878
00:52:11,040 --> 00:52:14,280
Speaker 2: That's always the goal, but oftentimes they don't because people

879
00:52:14,320 --> 00:52:18,920
Speaker 2: get into relationships and others don't, and sometimes people have kids,

880
00:52:19,040 --> 00:52:21,840
Speaker 2: or they get married, or they go through grief, or

881
00:52:21,840 --> 00:52:27,000
Speaker 2: they move away, and our situation changes, which makes our

882
00:52:27,080 --> 00:52:30,879
Speaker 2: lives a lot harder in that experience because we don't

883
00:52:30,880 --> 00:52:32,399
Speaker 2: have the same support system that.

884
00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:33,080
Speaker 3: We once had.

885
00:52:33,200 --> 00:52:37,160
Speaker 2: So finding community alone is really tough and finding people

886
00:52:37,160 --> 00:52:40,799
Speaker 2: who can relate. So I'm hoping that this person is

887
00:52:40,840 --> 00:52:42,759
Speaker 2: able to find that and maybe it connects with some

888
00:52:42,800 --> 00:52:44,799
Speaker 2: of you guys, and maybe I can connect you guys

889
00:52:44,800 --> 00:52:48,040
Speaker 2: on the internet, because internet friends are also awesome, especially

890
00:52:48,040 --> 00:52:50,440
Speaker 2: in a season of life that you're already pulled in

891
00:52:50,520 --> 00:52:53,640
Speaker 2: so many which ways, connecting in person is often difficult.

892
00:52:53,719 --> 00:52:56,160
Speaker 2: So that is the beauty of social media, the good

893
00:52:56,280 --> 00:52:59,680
Speaker 2: side of social media. And I just want to say

894
00:52:59,719 --> 00:53:05,880
Speaker 2: that I'm so eternally grateful to everyone who shared their story,

895
00:53:06,080 --> 00:53:09,400
Speaker 2: whether it was in messages or in these audio messages

896
00:53:09,440 --> 00:53:10,800
Speaker 2: that were left.

897
00:53:11,160 --> 00:53:13,080
Speaker 3: I think it's so cool that I've.

898
00:53:12,920 --> 00:53:16,359
Speaker 2: Created a community here where we can all share our

899
00:53:16,400 --> 00:53:20,320
Speaker 2: hardest things and hope that it connects with somebody else,

900
00:53:20,400 --> 00:53:25,600
Speaker 2: because we deserve to feel seen and heard. And again,

901
00:53:25,719 --> 00:53:28,200
Speaker 2: it was the entire point of doing this, of creating

902
00:53:28,520 --> 00:53:33,200
Speaker 2: this podcast was I often see so many things on

903
00:53:33,239 --> 00:53:36,200
Speaker 2: the Internet about trying to take away our attention or

904
00:53:36,320 --> 00:53:39,279
Speaker 2: trying to focus on things that aren't hard.

905
00:53:39,120 --> 00:53:40,839
Speaker 3: Or working on ourselves.

906
00:53:40,920 --> 00:53:44,720
Speaker 2: But I love community, I love connecting, I love hearing

907
00:53:44,719 --> 00:53:50,040
Speaker 2: people's stories, and this alone shows us right when you

908
00:53:50,080 --> 00:53:54,120
Speaker 2: were out doing things for the holidays and shopping and

909
00:53:54,200 --> 00:53:57,560
Speaker 2: in the madness and chaos of the holidays, I hope

910
00:53:57,600 --> 00:53:59,360
Speaker 2: you see people from more.

911
00:53:59,360 --> 00:53:59,960
Speaker 3: Than faced back.

912
00:54:00,360 --> 00:54:02,719
Speaker 2: I hope you see them as someone who could be

913
00:54:02,840 --> 00:54:05,839
Speaker 2: going through X, Y and Z, as someone who could

914
00:54:05,880 --> 00:54:08,360
Speaker 2: be having the best year of their life while also

915
00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:11,839
Speaker 2: somebody else having the worst year of their life. This

916
00:54:11,920 --> 00:54:14,239
Speaker 2: holiday is meant to remind us to give grace to

917
00:54:14,280 --> 00:54:19,120
Speaker 2: each other and have patience and be kind. And hearing

918
00:54:19,160 --> 00:54:21,759
Speaker 2: all of those messages reminds me that I do not

919
00:54:21,920 --> 00:54:25,080
Speaker 2: know a single thing that's happening in any one person's

920
00:54:25,120 --> 00:54:27,920
Speaker 2: life on any given day, and it's my job and

921
00:54:27,960 --> 00:54:30,360
Speaker 2: my responsibility to show up.

922
00:54:30,320 --> 00:54:32,800
Speaker 3: And be kind and smile and.

923
00:54:33,480 --> 00:54:35,719
Speaker 2: Because I can, because I'm in the season of my

924
00:54:35,760 --> 00:54:38,839
Speaker 2: life where even though it's been hard and there's been

925
00:54:38,880 --> 00:54:42,760
Speaker 2: hard moments while also good moments, it is my responsibility

926
00:54:42,760 --> 00:54:45,560
Speaker 2: as a person in this world to show up and

927
00:54:45,640 --> 00:54:48,880
Speaker 2: share love where and when I can. So hope we

928
00:54:48,920 --> 00:54:51,600
Speaker 2: can all own that and all show up in different ways,

929
00:54:51,640 --> 00:54:53,520
Speaker 2: and if this is not your season to show up,

930
00:54:53,600 --> 00:54:57,960
Speaker 2: that's perfectly fine. I hope you have people like me

931
00:54:58,200 --> 00:55:00,960
Speaker 2: that you'll run into where you get to experience the

932
00:55:01,040 --> 00:55:03,800
Speaker 2: love and the kindness of someone.

933
00:55:04,080 --> 00:55:07,480
Speaker 3: And thank you a million times over for sharing.

934
00:55:08,280 --> 00:55:12,920
Speaker 2: I hope everybody's holiday is everything that they need it

935
00:55:12,960 --> 00:55:17,520
Speaker 2: to be. And I hope that this next year brings

936
00:55:17,560 --> 00:55:20,920
Speaker 2: a lot of joy for a lot of you, and

937
00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:27,000
Speaker 2: hopefully new memories, new seasons, new chapters, and maybe for

938
00:55:27,080 --> 00:55:29,440
Speaker 2: some of you, the beginning of a story, and maybe

939
00:55:29,480 --> 00:55:31,920
Speaker 2: some of you the ending of a story, whatever it

940
00:55:31,960 --> 00:55:34,719
Speaker 2: may be. I'm really happy that you're here and you

941
00:55:34,760 --> 00:55:39,400
Speaker 2: share things with me, and I am eternally grateful for

942
00:55:39,480 --> 00:55:43,680
Speaker 2: all of you guys. Merry Christmas, happy Holidays, and happy

943
00:55:43,719 --> 00:55:45,080
Speaker 2: almost twenty twenty six.