1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:02,880 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is John the og story 2 00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:05,280 Speaker 1: time podcast host. Oh yeah, we got some great stories 3 00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:07,360 Speaker 1: coming up. But before that, we got a teeny two 4 00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:10,720 Speaker 1: minute break from the sponsors that keep this show propped 5 00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:12,960 Speaker 1: up like a little house. Oh yeah, all right, So 6 00:00:13,039 --> 00:00:15,920 Speaker 1: this is part three of My husband has a secret 7 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:18,720 Speaker 1: son from a past partner. Where we left office, Op's 8 00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:22,920 Speaker 1: husband got a Facebook message from her husband's past partner 9 00:00:23,079 --> 00:00:26,200 Speaker 1: one night stand that said, Hey, this five year old kid, 10 00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:29,520 Speaker 1: he's your son. Oops. Seems to want to go after 11 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:34,080 Speaker 1: hubby for child support. Yep, And throughout the part one 12 00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:37,000 Speaker 1: part two, there's actually been really effective communication. OHP's like, oh, 13 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,680 Speaker 1: I don't know how I feel about this, even discussing 14 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,519 Speaker 1: maybe wanting to leave. But she had the conversation with 15 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:45,280 Speaker 1: the husband. Seems like they're in a better spot. There 16 00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:47,960 Speaker 1: was some concern about overlap because the kid is five 17 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:51,760 Speaker 1: and a half and the husband started dating six years ago. Tight, 18 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:55,280 Speaker 1: it's tight, but it seems like everything's above board. Like 19 00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:58,480 Speaker 1: basically once he hooked up with her, that was like 20 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:01,280 Speaker 1: the next day they had the civity. Yeah, so it 21 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:05,880 Speaker 1: seems like everything's above board, but definitely tight timing. But John, Sam, 22 00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:08,040 Speaker 1: we got the next part of the story, So let's 23 00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:11,319 Speaker 1: dive in. Oh God. After a lot of soul searching 24 00:01:11,319 --> 00:01:13,720 Speaker 1: on David's part, this is Hubby's part, he came to 25 00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:16,560 Speaker 1: the conclusion that as much as it would be easier 26 00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:19,760 Speaker 1: to bury his head in the sand and pretend that 27 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:23,360 Speaker 1: this never happened, Alex is his son. Again. Have we 28 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:24,720 Speaker 1: done the paternity test? I don't know. If we know, 29 00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:26,920 Speaker 1: We're not sure, and at the very minimum, he needs 30 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,119 Speaker 1: to make sure he is safe and he is happy. 31 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:31,280 Speaker 1: If he does nothing, he will think about this every 32 00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:33,200 Speaker 1: single day for the rest of his life. And if 33 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:35,600 Speaker 1: we do decide to have kids, they will be an 34 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:39,040 Speaker 1: even bigger reminder of his other son. At one point, 35 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:41,399 Speaker 1: it came out that he had said that he didn't 36 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:43,440 Speaker 1: want to be involved initially, and it was because that 37 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:47,520 Speaker 1: this is what he thought I wanted to hear mmmm, 38 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:50,440 Speaker 1: and he had to pick between his son and his marriage. 39 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:55,440 Speaker 2: He was choosing his marriage and hence the communication. Hens 40 00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:59,360 Speaker 2: the communication because her reaction to that she wanted the opfice. 41 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:02,200 Speaker 1: He was like, She's like, no, stand up, be a man. Yeah, 42 00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:02,880 Speaker 1: like I want I want to. 43 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,080 Speaker 2: I want to see you be be an active follow 44 00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:06,400 Speaker 2: like I thought I want from you, and he was like, 45 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:08,400 Speaker 2: I was only saying that because I thought that's what 46 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:13,120 Speaker 2: he wanted to commute communication. We all wanted the same thing. 47 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:17,480 Speaker 2: At the end, this could have burned down, Yes, if 48 00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:19,120 Speaker 2: the strong communication was not dead. 49 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:21,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, that he didn't really know if he could move 50 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:24,720 Speaker 1: forward if it actually came to that. From my side 51 00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:26,919 Speaker 1: of things, what I wanted was for him to make 52 00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:30,119 Speaker 1: his decision independent of what I thought and wanted, because ultimately, 53 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:32,239 Speaker 1: if something happened to me, he would still have to 54 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:35,320 Speaker 1: deal with the consequences of partaking in his son's life 55 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:38,320 Speaker 1: and he can't undertake something of that magnitude just for me. 56 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:41,560 Speaker 1: The truth of the matter is, though that I know 57 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:44,600 Speaker 1: my husband very well. At the end of the day, 58 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:47,320 Speaker 1: he wouldn't have been able to live with himself if 59 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:49,440 Speaker 1: he ignored the situation. Also, if you're new here, there 60 00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:51,240 Speaker 1: are multiple parts of the story, so make sure to 61 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:54,320 Speaker 1: follow us on the iHeart app or Apple podcasts. Let's 62 00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:56,000 Speaker 1: get back to the story. So, when it came down 63 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,919 Speaker 1: to it, the reason I was having such an issue 64 00:02:57,919 --> 00:03:01,040 Speaker 1: with things is because I am not a person. Oh 65 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:03,960 Speaker 1: p he said earlier, He's not even sure he wanted kids, 66 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:06,639 Speaker 1: not sure they were discussed, you know, like, oh, maybe 67 00:03:06,639 --> 00:03:08,359 Speaker 1: we have two kids or blah blahlah blah. Yeah, but 68 00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:10,079 Speaker 1: when it came to it and she saw there was 69 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:13,120 Speaker 1: a kid that Ope's husband could be involved with it, 70 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:14,959 Speaker 1: She's like, wait, I don't know if I want that. 71 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:15,480 Speaker 1: That makes it real. 72 00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:19,880 Speaker 2: And she she was essentially infertile, like you said earlier. 73 00:03:19,919 --> 00:03:23,320 Speaker 1: So it's like, I can totally see how you're totally 74 00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:26,000 Speaker 1: not mentally prepared for it. I couldn't. I couldn't even 75 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,200 Speaker 1: have kids if I if I wanted two potentially. Yeah, 76 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:30,600 Speaker 1: So she goes on to say, kids scare the crap 77 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:32,480 Speaker 1: out of me, and I have a hard time relating 78 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:35,120 Speaker 1: to them. I love kids. I think they're super cute 79 00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:38,400 Speaker 1: and watching them just get something is amazing, and they 80 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:40,160 Speaker 1: bring a lot of joy to your life. It is 81 00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:45,320 Speaker 1: so insanely cool seeing them become their own person. But oh, 82 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:47,960 Speaker 1: kids don't like me very much, likely because I become 83 00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:51,000 Speaker 1: super nervous around them. Also, the amount of pressure and 84 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:55,000 Speaker 1: responsibility when responsible for another human being, making sure that 85 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:58,160 Speaker 1: they grow up happy and become productive members of society, heck, 86 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:02,360 Speaker 1: even making sure they stay alive. It's overwhelming, that is true. 87 00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:04,960 Speaker 1: I don't know how parents get up in the morning. 88 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:07,360 Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, as I said before, 89 00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:11,480 Speaker 1: David is my person and we'll get through this together 90 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:14,520 Speaker 1: if it comes to that. More below. Being parent to 91 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:16,120 Speaker 1: a five year old will be a learning curve for 92 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:18,960 Speaker 1: both of us, But I will be the best step 93 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,440 Speaker 1: parent that I can be, and he will feel nothing 94 00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:24,440 Speaker 1: but love from both of us. If we have other 95 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:27,400 Speaker 1: kids in the future, Alex will be treated the exact 96 00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:31,720 Speaker 1: same way. That was the emotional stuff. Now onto the practical. 97 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:35,520 Speaker 1: We had a home DNA test, all right, drum roll, 98 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:44,440 Speaker 1: and it was confirmed that my husband is the father. 99 00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:49,839 Speaker 1: Oh man, he is daddy, dude. I mean, we're not surprised. 100 00:04:49,839 --> 00:04:55,240 Speaker 1: He looks exactly like it. It's real. Not that there 101 00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:57,320 Speaker 1: was any doubt in my mind. The situation is even 102 00:04:57,440 --> 00:05:01,000 Speaker 1: more messed up than I thought though. Oh. Jessica, the 103 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,360 Speaker 1: mother and David spoke on the phone and she told 104 00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:07,680 Speaker 1: him a few things that we're concerning. What Alex the 105 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:10,640 Speaker 1: son is currently living with his father, Sam. I guess 106 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:13,440 Speaker 1: a stepfather would be more appropriate, but keep reading. From 107 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:16,479 Speaker 1: what we can guess, he's been living there since twenty thirteen. 108 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:20,440 Speaker 1: And this raised a bunch of red flags. So I 109 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:28,719 Speaker 1: think the father took custody because Jessica is so unstable. Oh, 110 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:32,919 Speaker 1: the father's name is Sam. My name is Sam. No relation, 111 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:36,880 Speaker 1: no correlation, no relation. I promise this is not about me. 112 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:40,839 Speaker 1: Children's Aid wouldn't place a child with someone they believe 113 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:44,279 Speaker 1: is abusive, and even more telling, they tend to favor 114 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:46,400 Speaker 1: the mother. So this is weird. It's a basic age. 115 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,880 Speaker 1: They gave it with a dad, and so the mother 116 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,240 Speaker 1: has to be doing something really fed up if they're 117 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:54,039 Speaker 1: putting it full custody with Costy was a dad. Yeah, 118 00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:56,720 Speaker 1: because of a complaint that Jessica Lodge. In twenty thirteen, 119 00:05:56,839 --> 00:05:59,920 Speaker 1: Sam was charged for hurting Alex, but he was acquitted. 120 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:03,840 Speaker 1: He says. In twenty thirteen she voluntarily placed Sam in 121 00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:06,800 Speaker 1: foster care because she kept passing out and thought it 122 00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:09,040 Speaker 1: was dangerous as it would mean Alex was alone. 123 00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:09,680 Speaker 3: Yeah. 124 00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:10,880 Speaker 1: I don't know how this works, but I have a 125 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:13,200 Speaker 1: hard time believing that there are no resources available for 126 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:18,320 Speaker 1: this situation. Children's Aid is on Sam's side, and in 127 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:20,720 Speaker 1: the files she is not portrayed in a good light 128 00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:23,760 Speaker 1: at all. She did not realize that David had moved 129 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,800 Speaker 1: eight hours away. She assumed we were still in the 130 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:29,520 Speaker 1: same city. She has another court case soon regarding custody. Also, 131 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:31,920 Speaker 1: if you're new here multiple parts of the story, make 132 00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:34,719 Speaker 1: sure to follow us on iHeart Apple Podcasts. But let's 133 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:37,760 Speaker 1: get back to the story. So Sam knows that Alex 134 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:42,080 Speaker 1: is not his son. So Sam is is the is 135 00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:45,000 Speaker 1: the guy that was with Jessica the mother and then 136 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:47,200 Speaker 1: kind of took on a paternal role for this kid 137 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,400 Speaker 1: that's not actually his kid. 138 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:51,799 Speaker 2: Yeah, and we at first it was unclear if Sam 139 00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:54,200 Speaker 2: even knew, yeah, you know, or for Jessica. 140 00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:57,680 Speaker 1: But yeah, but is in denial and thinks that the 141 00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:01,200 Speaker 1: DNA test is wrong since it is is a home test. 142 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:03,640 Speaker 1: He wants to keep full custody of his son, and 143 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:05,480 Speaker 1: he's been raising the kid for five years. 144 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:10,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, he's dad. He's like listening, kid knows him as dad. Yeah, 145 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:12,400 Speaker 2: if you're if you're raising a kid for five and 146 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:17,840 Speaker 2: a half years, that's kind of traumatic if if a 147 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:20,400 Speaker 2: kid is just pulled away in place with someone else, 148 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:20,680 Speaker 2: you know. 149 00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:24,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. He wants to keep full custody of his son. 150 00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:27,960 Speaker 1: Jessica wants to have full custody of her son and 151 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:30,800 Speaker 1: is hoping that by throwing bio Dad into the mix, 152 00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:34,200 Speaker 1: the courts will take Alex away from Sam and award 153 00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:39,760 Speaker 1: him to her. So now now we see the play. Yeah, 154 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:42,440 Speaker 1: this is where that because at first, like what what 155 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:45,080 Speaker 1: are the her motives? Is it money? Is it like whatever? 156 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:48,160 Speaker 2: So she's she's kind of using Op and her husband 157 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:50,560 Speaker 2: as pawns to try and get full custody. 158 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:53,680 Speaker 1: And again, if the son was taken away, if Alex 159 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:56,400 Speaker 1: was taken away from Jessica, and then Jessica was probably 160 00:07:56,440 --> 00:08:00,600 Speaker 1: doing something pretty bad for the court to favor custody 161 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:01,400 Speaker 1: to the father. 162 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:05,920 Speaker 2: And also pretty honestly kind of crazy and just long 163 00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:07,720 Speaker 2: shot of a plan to be like, oh hey, let 164 00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:09,600 Speaker 2: me hit up this guy had a one night stand 165 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:11,360 Speaker 2: with five and a half years ago and see if 166 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:12,720 Speaker 2: I can like use him. 167 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:15,480 Speaker 1: It's been fag it to like, what do you think 168 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:18,679 Speaker 1: is going to happen? Yeah, I mean I think she's 169 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:22,240 Speaker 1: closer to getting her way than she was initially. You 170 00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:25,640 Speaker 1: know what, I guess, I guess probably. I mean also, 171 00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:29,320 Speaker 1: I think at this point, if I'm if I'm Op 172 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:32,920 Speaker 1: and Op's husband, I'm like, what is the best outcome 173 00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:36,640 Speaker 1: for this kid? You know? Yeah? And I'm like, yes, 174 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:41,840 Speaker 1: I feel like the kid staying with the dad. You 175 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:44,280 Speaker 1: know that the dad that's been raising him in Sam. Yeah, 176 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:46,400 Speaker 1: is probably the best. 177 00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:46,600 Speaker 2: Boo. 178 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:49,880 Speaker 1: Have the kids stay, stay with Sam, and then maybe 179 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:52,160 Speaker 1: you get visitation and visitation. 180 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:55,080 Speaker 2: Child support exactly. I think that's the best. Rest Like, hey, 181 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:58,320 Speaker 2: let me help ease the financial burden. Let me you know, hey, 182 00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:00,600 Speaker 2: you need a babysitter, you know. So I'm like that, like, 183 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:03,160 Speaker 2: figure out some sort of visitation and yeah, it gonna 184 00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:04,880 Speaker 2: be like a two and a half men situation. You know, 185 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:07,400 Speaker 2: you got your two dads and they love each other 186 00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:09,800 Speaker 2: very much and love you very much. There you go, 187 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:12,960 Speaker 2: and that we can have visitation or probably more accurately, 188 00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:15,839 Speaker 2: pay supports and stay away. 189 00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:19,079 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a crap show and I feel like I'm 190 00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:22,360 Speaker 1: living in a soap opera. David asks that the children's 191 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:24,400 Speaker 1: aid and the court papers be sent to him so 192 00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:26,480 Speaker 1: he could formulate a plan based on what we know, 193 00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:29,760 Speaker 1: which admittedly isn't much. It seems as though Sam is 194 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:33,160 Speaker 1: a good father. Okay. There are tons of Facebook posts 195 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:36,000 Speaker 1: of Alex building a snow ford, Alex swimming in lakes 196 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:38,480 Speaker 1: with his dad, Alex dressing up as Batman, just normal 197 00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:42,400 Speaker 1: stuff you expect to see from a proud father. Jessica 198 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:46,400 Speaker 1: not so much. Honestly, she looks high in most photos. 199 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:48,960 Speaker 1: Based on the reason as to why she gave him 200 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:51,720 Speaker 1: up temporarily, the photos and the fact that he isn't 201 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:55,800 Speaker 1: living with her, I'm assuming she is a regular substance user, 202 00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:59,360 Speaker 1: but I'm just guessing. David ultimately wants what it is 203 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:02,000 Speaker 1: best for us, and if it means having him with 204 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:04,480 Speaker 1: us full time, so be it. But right now it 205 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,640 Speaker 1: seems horrible. This is kind of what we said to 206 00:10:06,679 --> 00:10:08,640 Speaker 1: pull a five year old from the only home he 207 00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:11,280 Speaker 1: really knows because of DNA. So we are waiting for 208 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:13,439 Speaker 1: the files and we'll be talking to the caseworker to 209 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:17,880 Speaker 1: see if our impression is right. We don't trust Jessica 210 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:21,760 Speaker 1: at all, yeah, as you shouldn't, so she is not 211 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:24,240 Speaker 1: an option. If it turns out that there are issues 212 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:26,920 Speaker 1: with Sam, we will fight for custody. If Alex is happy, 213 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:29,440 Speaker 1: well adjusted, and Sam is a good dad like we believe. 214 00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:32,280 Speaker 1: After due diligence, in a conversation with Sam to see 215 00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:34,400 Speaker 1: how he feels and if he is okay with everything, 216 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:38,199 Speaker 1: Dave will be signing away his rights and give Sam 217 00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:41,640 Speaker 1: his medical and contact information in case it is needed. 218 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:43,880 Speaker 1: He also had the idea to write a letter to 219 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:47,000 Speaker 1: Alex explaining his actions that he found out about him 220 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,000 Speaker 1: at five, but it seemed like he had a good 221 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,520 Speaker 1: home and a great dad and felt like what he 222 00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:53,760 Speaker 1: is doing was in his best interest, but that he 223 00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:56,199 Speaker 1: loves him and is there for him, and he can 224 00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:59,280 Speaker 1: reach out if and when he is ready, that Sam 225 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:01,640 Speaker 1: can give to Alex when he is older, if he 226 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:05,160 Speaker 1: wants to. I think that's really really I think that's 227 00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:05,760 Speaker 1: a beautiful thing. 228 00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:08,960 Speaker 4: Yeah, this this, this is the way, this is, This 229 00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:09,520 Speaker 4: is the way. 230 00:11:09,679 --> 00:11:13,120 Speaker 1: I mean a hard situation, yeah, really really hard, But 231 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:17,320 Speaker 1: I feel like again at every moment here, it feels 232 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:20,800 Speaker 1: like they've been doing what's best for each other and 233 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:21,440 Speaker 1: best for the kid. 234 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:25,480 Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, but do the the Just imagine the gut 235 00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:29,120 Speaker 2: wrenching jolts of going from like okay, do we do 236 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:31,160 Speaker 2: we want to have this kid and like raising like 237 00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:31,800 Speaker 2: oh not sure? 238 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:32,839 Speaker 1: Is this gonna blow up my life? 239 00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:35,319 Speaker 2: Like all right, I've they kind of like mentally like 240 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,880 Speaker 2: all right, we're prepared if this is the case to 241 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:39,560 Speaker 2: take the kid in, to take the get in and 242 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:42,440 Speaker 2: then it's like no, like you you might not get 243 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:44,719 Speaker 2: any access to the what a. 244 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:48,120 Speaker 1: What a roller coaster. Roller coaster. Of course, it will 245 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:51,400 Speaker 1: ultimately be Sam's decision as to whether or not he 246 00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:54,280 Speaker 1: wants to tell Alex about his bio. Dad. I'm not 247 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:57,120 Speaker 1: sure if this is the right thing, but it seems 248 00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:59,280 Speaker 1: horrible to make a five year old go live with 249 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:02,600 Speaker 1: complete strain just eight hours away from mom and dad 250 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:04,880 Speaker 1: if it can be helped. So Sam is the one 251 00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:06,760 Speaker 1: that has been playing with him and taking care of 252 00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:10,920 Speaker 1: him when he is sick. Sam is his dad. We 253 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,080 Speaker 1: have a big battle ahead of ourselves, though. I don't 254 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:15,200 Speaker 1: really have any questions, but if anyone has any advice 255 00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:19,120 Speaker 1: on navigating this opinions, et cetera. Well, this is the internet, 256 00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:21,600 Speaker 1: so how about it? And we got some edits, oh 257 00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:25,959 Speaker 1: but and some updates from Ope. But but John, any 258 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:27,800 Speaker 1: more thoughts on it before we get into the edis 259 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:28,240 Speaker 1: and the updates. 260 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:32,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean again, it's definitely the move to keep 261 00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:35,720 Speaker 2: it with with with Sam, the dad that's been raising 262 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:39,280 Speaker 2: raising this child the whole time. I think, honestly, what 263 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:41,960 Speaker 2: could be good and they kind of essentially said this 264 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:45,080 Speaker 2: but is to sit down with Sam and be like, 265 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:47,320 Speaker 2: how can we be helpful? 266 00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:51,880 Speaker 1: Like what what is useful? Can they provide praternity support 267 00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:54,880 Speaker 1: to or can they provide child support just to like 268 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:57,360 Speaker 1: help improve the kid's life about yeah, you. 269 00:12:57,280 --> 00:13:00,120 Speaker 2: Know money, I mean, how is more money? I'm and 270 00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:02,880 Speaker 2: they say more money, more problems. But like I feel 271 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:05,600 Speaker 2: like them obviously contributing financially will be helpful. And then 272 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:08,520 Speaker 2: I'm sure there's probably ways. And if they come to 273 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:12,040 Speaker 2: Sam too with that, like hey, what do you need 274 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:15,080 Speaker 2: help with, I'm sure that's going to foster like a 275 00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:18,960 Speaker 2: really good relationship with them, and then that will you know, 276 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,560 Speaker 2: probably give them more access to DM. 277 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:25,000 Speaker 1: Maybe it's like saving for college fund or something like that, 278 00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:28,800 Speaker 1: like whatever it maybe yeah, but we got an edit 279 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:32,640 Speaker 1: it's update. So we were exploring the possibility of setting 280 00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:36,040 Speaker 1: up a trust okay, dude, which we will contribute to 281 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:39,040 Speaker 1: for when he turns twenty one or so. Regardless of 282 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:41,160 Speaker 1: how this plays out, I should have mentioned it in 283 00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:43,440 Speaker 1: the letter. We got some relevant comments with some responses 284 00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:46,319 Speaker 1: from Ope, so on my inbox, I always says, well, 285 00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:48,200 Speaker 1: given that we have heard about Jessica, I don't know 286 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:51,800 Speaker 1: that Sam's so weird for distrusting the at home paternity test. 287 00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:54,719 Speaker 1: It's easy enough to get fake negative results if you 288 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:58,320 Speaker 1: swap the swab for someone else's. That's why the court 289 00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:01,400 Speaker 1: will only accept official test. If she is just trying 290 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:04,680 Speaker 1: to get Sam to back off so she can regain custody, 291 00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:06,920 Speaker 1: would be in her interest to fake a negative result, 292 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:11,640 Speaker 1: hoping just the knowledge he is not the biofather, we'll 293 00:14:11,679 --> 00:14:14,760 Speaker 1: get him to abandon the child and op He responds, rap, 294 00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:17,719 Speaker 1: I had never thought of that. As things progress, we 295 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:19,560 Speaker 1: will need to do the legal one. But still I 296 00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:21,720 Speaker 1: wouldn't put it past her. There's no doubt in my 297 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:25,160 Speaker 1: mind that Hubby is the biological father. Dates match up perfectly, 298 00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:27,560 Speaker 1: and he is pretty much my hubby's clone. It looks 299 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:30,400 Speaker 1: nothing like Sam. But from his perspective, I can see 300 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:33,760 Speaker 1: why he would think that. And zombies and pandas Ohmi says, 301 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,560 Speaker 1: I mean, how did the home test happen? He did 302 00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:39,280 Speaker 1: she have any chance to mess with it? And OPI responds, 303 00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:42,360 Speaker 1: I don't know how she would have to be honest 304 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:44,320 Speaker 1: when I said home tests, I really should have said, 305 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:47,160 Speaker 1: this is not a DNA test that we can legally 306 00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:49,840 Speaker 1: submit to court. We were both sent kits via mail 307 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:52,040 Speaker 1: at our homes, and we both sent cheek swabs to 308 00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:54,000 Speaker 1: a lab. I'm not sure how it could have been 309 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:57,800 Speaker 1: faked unless David has another bio kid running around somewhere 310 00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:01,440 Speaker 1: in Jessica that this kid's swab instead of Alex's. But 311 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:04,480 Speaker 1: I'm more sympathetic as to why Sam is saying that 312 00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:08,160 Speaker 1: it's not accurate. As another post mentioned, it's likely that 313 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,240 Speaker 1: deep down he's known for a bit but does not 314 00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:13,920 Speaker 1: care since he's raised him from birth. And so we 315 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:17,120 Speaker 1: actually have another commentor in a response from Ope, hmmm, 316 00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:20,680 Speaker 1: oh that I think will shed more light on what's 317 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:23,320 Speaker 1: going on here. It is and a commenter talks about 318 00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:25,520 Speaker 1: being a father. It's just not about DNA. It's actually 319 00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:27,600 Speaker 1: like about you know, the relationship you have with a kid. 320 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:31,160 Speaker 1: And Ope response, it's denial and I get it. He's 321 00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:35,000 Speaker 1: gone this long thinking Alex's son. My only fear is 322 00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:38,640 Speaker 1: that if it is ever legally confirmed, I would hope 323 00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:41,640 Speaker 1: it wouldn't change his feelings. But one step at a time, right, 324 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:44,120 Speaker 1: I know people get acquitted of things that they are 325 00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:47,280 Speaker 1: guilty of. I just don't know what the right thing 326 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,600 Speaker 1: to do here is. We are trying to corroborate the 327 00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:52,440 Speaker 1: story with the paperwork, the casework and other people who 328 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:54,960 Speaker 1: know him, and at a certain point of children's aid is 329 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:58,600 Speaker 1: still involved, but believe the assault complaint is unfounded and 330 00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:01,480 Speaker 1: the courts believe he was not guilty. You want to 331 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:03,560 Speaker 1: believe that they are right. On the other hand, although 332 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:06,920 Speaker 1: the mother is unreliable, that doesn't mean he is lying. 333 00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:09,280 Speaker 1: I think the letter is just to make my husband 334 00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:12,240 Speaker 1: feel better because it ultimately is Sam's choice as to 335 00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:14,440 Speaker 1: whether he wants to say something to Alex later on, 336 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:18,320 Speaker 1: and if he decides not to, it's his prerogative. David's 337 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:20,880 Speaker 1: fear is that Alex will find out later on and 338 00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:23,480 Speaker 1: will think that he didn't want anything to do with him, 339 00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:26,600 Speaker 1: when the reality is that he just doesn't want to 340 00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:29,040 Speaker 1: make things harder for him. I mean, if Sam is 341 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:31,440 Speaker 1: cool with David having a relationship with Alex at this point, 342 00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:34,720 Speaker 1: David love that, but since his denial goes very deep, 343 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:37,920 Speaker 1: he just can't see Sam being okay with that at 344 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:41,280 Speaker 1: this point. Things change, though, and who knows how this 345 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:45,080 Speaker 1: will pay out. We got one more comment from someone, 346 00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:47,360 Speaker 1: Lizzie sixty sxo' nine two that says, just so you 347 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:50,160 Speaker 1: know that even a legal DNA test may not have 348 00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:54,200 Speaker 1: any sort of impact on custody in many states, particularly 349 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:57,840 Speaker 1: ones where there is a presumption of paternity associated with marriage. 350 00:16:57,920 --> 00:16:59,760 Speaker 1: If you act as the father for a certain amount 351 00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:02,760 Speaker 1: of time, I'm usually well under five years, I believe 352 00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:05,800 Speaker 1: that you are legally the father. Your husband may not 353 00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:08,280 Speaker 1: have any sort of claim to Alex at all at 354 00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:08,760 Speaker 1: that point. 355 00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:12,240 Speaker 2: Which but like, if you think about it, right, it's 356 00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:14,480 Speaker 2: like what we've been saying this whole time. This kid 357 00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:17,080 Speaker 2: has been raised by this guy for over five years, 358 00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:20,240 Speaker 2: so it's like way more destructive to like rip him 359 00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:22,480 Speaker 2: exactly versus like, oh, hey, here's. 360 00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:25,720 Speaker 1: A stranger that like and the kid can't even understand. No. No, 361 00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:28,720 Speaker 1: I think it's best for the kid, Alex to stay 362 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:32,439 Speaker 1: with the current father. Sam. Yeah, but that's where that 363 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:33,280 Speaker 1: story ends. 364 00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:37,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, there no more the kid. This was nine years ago, 365 00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:40,199 Speaker 3: so the kid's probably like fourteen fifteen. 366 00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:43,919 Speaker 1: Oh wow, wow, dude, that's so true. I wonder, I 367 00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:45,960 Speaker 1: wonder how it all struck out. Hope he's okay, Yeah, 368 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:48,479 Speaker 1: I hope he's okay. Hey, it's sam' your og host here. 369 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:50,040 Speaker 1: Bring to get back to the stories. But here's three 370 00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:52,800 Speaker 1: minutes bads from our sponsors. I met my biological father 371 00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:59,320 Speaker 1: without my parents consent. I think that's fine. Keep it 372 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:00,440 Speaker 1: a little bit fa editor. 373 00:18:01,119 --> 00:18:04,199 Speaker 2: I recently turned eighteen, giving me the legal right to 374 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:06,880 Speaker 2: be able to get in contact with my father, who 375 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:10,919 Speaker 2: is the baby juice stoner. I was conceived through a 376 00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:12,160 Speaker 2: baby juice donation. 377 00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:16,080 Speaker 1: I love it. I have known this bar rest of 378 00:18:16,119 --> 00:18:16,720 Speaker 1: my life. 379 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:19,680 Speaker 2: I have wanted to know since the age of thirteen 380 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,280 Speaker 2: that I was gonna want to make a relationship with 381 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:23,920 Speaker 2: my father, the biological one. 382 00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:24,240 Speaker 1: Yeah. 383 00:18:24,359 --> 00:18:27,399 Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Donderson and if you 384 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:28,879 Speaker 2: want to submit your own stories, go to the r 385 00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:33,000 Speaker 2: slash okay storytime subreddit. However, my parents have always been 386 00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:36,560 Speaker 2: against this. They've given reasons which are valid points, like 387 00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:39,040 Speaker 2: my father might not want to meet me and I 388 00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:40,880 Speaker 2: could ruin his life somehow. 389 00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:47,800 Speaker 1: That is crazy. That's crazy. Yeah, I mean I could 390 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,400 Speaker 1: say like, hey, like it's awesome you want to meet 391 00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:52,639 Speaker 1: your father. Sometimes like they may not, you know, they 392 00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:55,640 Speaker 1: may not want to meet you. Or often people who 393 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:58,800 Speaker 1: donate that that baby jews sign a thing that it's like, 394 00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:00,960 Speaker 1: oh I don't want contact that I don't want them 395 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,119 Speaker 1: to release my name or yeah. So yeah, so that 396 00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:05,959 Speaker 1: is you know, because some people are are squeezing that juice, 397 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:09,480 Speaker 1: like you know, once a week people full time. Yeah, 398 00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:14,240 Speaker 1: people make a living squeeze and baby juice out of themselves, 399 00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:17,119 Speaker 1: just squaanching it. Yeah, dude, I remember in college I 400 00:19:17,119 --> 00:19:19,480 Speaker 1: would get ads for that non stop, and. 401 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:23,679 Speaker 2: Bro, that would have been that. That seem the appreciation 402 00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:25,359 Speaker 2: appreciation seed. 403 00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:29,080 Speaker 1: Oh dude, it's going through the roof, insanity going through 404 00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:31,480 Speaker 1: the roof. I talked to my mom about her. She's like, 405 00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:34,119 Speaker 1: don't do that. I'm like, Mom, a thousand bucks, dude, 406 00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:37,280 Speaker 1: a thousand bucks back in college. Like, yeah, forge dude 407 00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:39,760 Speaker 1: for doing something I was doing already. Yeah, I'm doing 408 00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:43,680 Speaker 1: this for free. Yeah that's passive income. Oh my god. 409 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:48,800 Speaker 2: But despite my parents unsupportiveness, I went and did it anyways. 410 00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:51,000 Speaker 1: And I found him on Facebook. Oh god. 411 00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:54,119 Speaker 2: Of course I was thinking that anything could happen. But 412 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,080 Speaker 2: he was the nicest people. He was one of the 413 00:19:56,160 --> 00:20:00,040 Speaker 2: nicest people ever and proved to me how much I 414 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,160 Speaker 2: want to have a good relationship with them. To cut 415 00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:04,399 Speaker 2: a long story short, we decided on a place in 416 00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:06,760 Speaker 2: time to meet each other, and we did. I was 417 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:09,560 Speaker 2: able to go back to his house. I met his family, 418 00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:11,399 Speaker 2: his wife, kid's brother. 419 00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:13,720 Speaker 1: Oh my god. This guy totally opened up his life 420 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:14,720 Speaker 1: to toe pie. 421 00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:17,919 Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, and has other kids of his own and everything. 422 00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:21,560 Speaker 2: It's like, Yo, these are your literal biological half siblings. 423 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:24,480 Speaker 1: Wow, this is he has a whole new family. Right. 424 00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:26,280 Speaker 2: He did have a sister, but I didn't get to 425 00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:28,760 Speaker 2: meet her on that occasion. Once I got home, my 426 00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:31,479 Speaker 2: parents sat down at the dinner table and were waiting 427 00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:34,960 Speaker 2: for me in silence, in an extremely intimidating manner. 428 00:20:35,119 --> 00:20:37,520 Speaker 1: Oh how do they know? I don't know. 429 00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:40,520 Speaker 2: But I'm also getting from the first comment about ruining 430 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:42,840 Speaker 2: the life in this to kind of whack. 431 00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:47,800 Speaker 3: You asked, how they know? Dude, they got bugs in 432 00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:49,760 Speaker 3: their head. They put it like a you know, a 433 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:51,959 Speaker 3: chip in their head. They know where they're at all 434 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:52,320 Speaker 3: the time. 435 00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:56,840 Speaker 1: Facebook. Yeah, Facebook monitoring could have Yeah the past. We're 436 00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,720 Speaker 1: pretty sure my parents had an app install on my 437 00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:02,280 Speaker 1: phone that they could read all my texts because they 438 00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:04,800 Speaker 1: knew stuff. Oh like, how do you know that? Dude? 439 00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:08,119 Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure I would have been mortified. Yeah, dude, 440 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:10,919 Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure. I feel like they only took it 441 00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:16,880 Speaker 1: off like last year. Like I feel like I'm pretty 442 00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:19,840 Speaker 1: sure that I don't know how that. Maybe last year's 443 00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:22,680 Speaker 1: too much like all those positive. 444 00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:25,120 Speaker 2: So but back to the story, Opie says, they asked 445 00:21:25,119 --> 00:21:28,959 Speaker 2: the casual where have you been and what time did 446 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,919 Speaker 2: you call us? Something was fishy from the start, and 447 00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:34,480 Speaker 2: my suspicions were proved to be correct when my dad 448 00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:35,000 Speaker 2: said he. 449 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:36,280 Speaker 1: Knew where I had been. 450 00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:38,560 Speaker 2: This continued on for a few weeks where I would 451 00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:40,639 Speaker 2: spend time with him, and I even introduced him to 452 00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:43,919 Speaker 2: my girlfriend and her dog as the only people that 453 00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:45,320 Speaker 2: really supported me through this. 454 00:21:45,359 --> 00:21:48,439 Speaker 1: Bro, even the dog is a better parent than his 455 00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:51,760 Speaker 1: current parents. Right now, Hey, dude, dog's man's best friend. 456 00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:53,800 Speaker 1: Bow wow, bow wow. 457 00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:58,160 Speaker 2: My parents' behavior has become increasingly aggressive towards me and 458 00:21:58,280 --> 00:21:59,240 Speaker 2: people close to us. 459 00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:02,520 Speaker 1: It's really making me question what I've done here? Was 460 00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:03,320 Speaker 1: I the a whole? 461 00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:06,200 Speaker 2: And we have some relevant comments, but just really quickly, Sam, 462 00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:06,880 Speaker 2: is Obi the a hole? 463 00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:10,240 Speaker 1: Not at all. I think what's happening is the parents. 464 00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:14,480 Speaker 1: You know, uh what they did? It was IVF for 465 00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:20,800 Speaker 1: like baby juice donor Yeah. I imagine there's maybe some 466 00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:24,119 Speaker 1: misplaced insecurity there in the parents being like, oh, like 467 00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:28,320 Speaker 1: Op is gonna leave us for his is real dad, 468 00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:31,240 Speaker 1: but like maybe don't be crap parents and OP won't 469 00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:31,920 Speaker 1: do that, dude. 470 00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:36,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, just like like I totally again, totally gets saying, hey, uh, 471 00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:39,000 Speaker 2: you know, maybe he might not want to meet you, 472 00:22:39,119 --> 00:22:42,280 Speaker 2: so just prepare yourself emotionally for that. But this is 473 00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:46,480 Speaker 2: totally different, whack. But we got some relevant comments. First one, 474 00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:49,960 Speaker 2: how did you find him? Baby's donors are assigned numbers? 475 00:22:50,359 --> 00:22:53,159 Speaker 2: Opie says his name was on my birth certificate, so 476 00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:54,359 Speaker 2: I found him that way. 477 00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:58,880 Speaker 1: That's weird. That is not normal. That is weird. I've 478 00:22:58,920 --> 00:22:59,920 Speaker 1: never heard that happening. 479 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:03,080 Speaker 2: Another comment, was there some sort of arrangement If his 480 00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:05,560 Speaker 2: name is on the birth certificate, then technically. 481 00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:08,000 Speaker 1: He is a legal parent. Ope, he says. 482 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,479 Speaker 2: In terms of arrangements, I'm not really sure why he 483 00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:13,040 Speaker 2: was on the birth certificate. It's possible that he was 484 00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:15,800 Speaker 2: in something like that, which would explain why he was 485 00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:18,000 Speaker 2: happy when I reached out to him, basically like he 486 00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:19,480 Speaker 2: wanted to see him, but he had an agreement to 487 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:20,400 Speaker 2: not you know what I mean. 488 00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:26,240 Speaker 1: And we have the update. Oh boy, let's find out Okay, 489 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:30,600 Speaker 1: I'm I'm on the edge of my seat, oh God, 490 00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:32,640 Speaker 1: to update on the situation. 491 00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:35,960 Speaker 2: As I mentioned to a reply in a comment, this 492 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:38,160 Speaker 2: man was on my birth certificate and I was told 493 00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:40,399 Speaker 2: by you guys to sit them down and have a 494 00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:41,600 Speaker 2: conversation about all this. 495 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:45,160 Speaker 1: So I did after my mother returned home from work. 496 00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:48,120 Speaker 2: I gathered everyone in the lounge with my bio dad 497 00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:51,679 Speaker 2: on zoom and asked why he was on the birth certificate. 498 00:23:52,359 --> 00:23:55,760 Speaker 2: And here is the story, okay, or getting the truth. 499 00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:59,840 Speaker 2: Biodad met my mom five years before I was born 500 00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:03,440 Speaker 2: and had a relationship going on for that entire time. 501 00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:05,880 Speaker 1: Ooh baby, for that entire time. 502 00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:08,080 Speaker 2: However, I feel like I should have mentioned this before, 503 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:11,119 Speaker 2: but my parents now have been together for just over 504 00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:13,560 Speaker 2: thirty years, so. 505 00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:17,199 Speaker 1: You do the math. There was some meat in the middle, 506 00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:21,080 Speaker 1: me in the middle, and some baby just sweezed out 507 00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:26,439 Speaker 1: of that meat, So that means affair. My mother was 508 00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:31,080 Speaker 1: having an affair boom for five years. Dude, that's a while. 509 00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:34,199 Speaker 1: It's a full election cycle. Oh yeah, for real and 510 00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:35,120 Speaker 1: more and more. 511 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:37,920 Speaker 2: But in that time that they had been seeing each other, 512 00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:41,720 Speaker 2: my mother became pregnant with me. My non biological dad 513 00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:45,359 Speaker 2: is actually infertile, something I didn't know about until now. 514 00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:49,240 Speaker 2: No way, so when we found out my mother was pregnant, 515 00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:50,840 Speaker 2: he reacted in a different way. 516 00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:54,800 Speaker 1: He was happy for her. Man Man is a cult. 517 00:24:55,080 --> 00:25:01,120 Speaker 1: He likes sit in that chair watching oh, he's he's thrilled. 518 00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:05,680 Speaker 1: Oh my god. Not only is it his deepest, darkest fantasy, 519 00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:06,920 Speaker 1: but now he has a kid. 520 00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:09,960 Speaker 2: Now he's a kid, and she win, Oh my god, 521 00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:11,439 Speaker 2: and is living the dream. 522 00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:12,320 Speaker 1: Bro. 523 00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:17,399 Speaker 2: So she said she didn't want a divorce, but was 524 00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:19,040 Speaker 2: willing to keep the baby with him. 525 00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:20,399 Speaker 1: He said yes. 526 00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:24,840 Speaker 2: He's like, yeah, bro, I do it again, as they 527 00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:27,720 Speaker 2: had been having They had been trying to have a 528 00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:32,880 Speaker 2: child for eleven and a half years with zero luck. 529 00:25:33,359 --> 00:25:37,199 Speaker 2: Like no, no, miscarriage is nothing, shooting him blanks. 530 00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:40,840 Speaker 4: For over a decade, hitting a raw bro eleven and 531 00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:44,400 Speaker 4: a half, they say, like, insanity is doing something over 532 00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:48,199 Speaker 4: and over again expecting different results eleven years. 533 00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:50,920 Speaker 2: Like he's gone so insane that he's like, bro, you've 534 00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:53,560 Speaker 2: been You've been porking my wife for five years. 535 00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:57,520 Speaker 1: Amazing. Yeah, he's like, oh my god, I thought I 536 00:25:57,560 --> 00:26:01,560 Speaker 1: was gonna have to do that crap for another Thank 537 00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:04,640 Speaker 1: you for taking this is the this is a miracle. 538 00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:07,760 Speaker 1: I've been I've been sweating my guy. These old bones, 539 00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:09,919 Speaker 1: they you know, they don't work like they used to. 540 00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:12,240 Speaker 1: This old bone doesn't work like it used to. 541 00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:15,200 Speaker 2: It Hey yo, Hey, it's John here Og, host of 542 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:16,960 Speaker 2: the show we're gonna get back to these juicy stories. 543 00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:19,160 Speaker 2: But here's a quick three minutes of ads from our sponsors. 544 00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:21,840 Speaker 2: So the reason why bio dad was named on the 545 00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:25,119 Speaker 2: birth certificate was because they had an arrangement together that 546 00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:34,520 Speaker 2: he would forget lot god no, no, no. 547 00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:38,719 Speaker 1: They had an arrangement together that he would be present 548 00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:44,040 Speaker 1: at the birth, at the bird the same thing. 549 00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:47,840 Speaker 2: He would be present without the dad that raised me 550 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:51,000 Speaker 2: being there, so he would be named on the birth certificate, 551 00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:54,360 Speaker 2: and at eighteen, I would be encouraged to meet him 552 00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:59,240 Speaker 2: and told this story. So only half of that happened exactly, 553 00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:01,560 Speaker 2: Opie's now he the parents not only did they not 554 00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:04,520 Speaker 2: tell him the story and say hey, actively discour they 555 00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:07,360 Speaker 2: actively tried to lock him down and punish him crazy. 556 00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:10,680 Speaker 2: So in return, he would tell no one about them 557 00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:14,240 Speaker 2: and would give them monthly payments as well as staying 558 00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:19,160 Speaker 2: far away from her forever. WHOA, wow, that's a crazy deal. 559 00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:20,840 Speaker 2: I mean it wasn't affair. 560 00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:22,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, because like the mom had the affair and now 561 00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:23,639 Speaker 3: she's getting money from it. 562 00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:26,400 Speaker 2: Dude, I mean yeah, but I guess, I guess it's 563 00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:29,480 Speaker 2: like you have to stay away from from obviously her 564 00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:31,600 Speaker 2: and the kid for eighteen years. 565 00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:32,880 Speaker 1: Wow. Interesting. 566 00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:35,920 Speaker 2: So he upheld his end, but she didn't do the same, 567 00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:39,199 Speaker 2: which disappointed my biodad but made him very glad that 568 00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:40,720 Speaker 2: I ended up contacting him. 569 00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:42,160 Speaker 1: The long story short. 570 00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:43,840 Speaker 2: If any of you couldn't be bothered to read that 571 00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:47,600 Speaker 2: mother had an affair, parents kept me my biodad was 572 00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:50,800 Speaker 2: a guy who you know, cheated. The biodad got on 573 00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:53,320 Speaker 2: the certificate, got to meet me in eighteen and I 574 00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:56,320 Speaker 2: would be told a story. I in no way will 575 00:27:56,359 --> 00:27:59,240 Speaker 2: be disowning my current father. He has been the father 576 00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:01,760 Speaker 2: figure that I needed in my life so many times 577 00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:04,480 Speaker 2: that I just couldn't even if I wanted to. I 578 00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:06,600 Speaker 2: will continue to see my bio dad and keep you 579 00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:08,879 Speaker 2: updated on the progress if you guys want to be 580 00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:13,400 Speaker 2: speaking of which we have edit number two. Oh okay, 581 00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:16,600 Speaker 2: So basically, the entire baby juice donor thing just happened 582 00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:19,040 Speaker 2: to be the very first thing they thought of at 583 00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:22,960 Speaker 2: the time, and they just let me believe their lie. 584 00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:25,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, so this is just this is the origin of 585 00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:28,080 Speaker 1: the baby juice story. But that's the end of the story. Wow. 586 00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:30,720 Speaker 2: So we got to the truth and uh, you know, 587 00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:34,080 Speaker 2: all's well that ends well, I guess, I mean two dads, 588 00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:38,240 Speaker 2: I guess, and uh, you know, a fair dad seems 589 00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:38,760 Speaker 2: kind of chill. 590 00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:43,400 Speaker 1: Dude. He's crushing it now, he's crushing it now, was 591 00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:48,280 Speaker 1: crushing your mom earlier. Bro. But it's so true, so true. 592 00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:50,040 Speaker 1: But it seems like it seems like he's a welcoming, 593 00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:52,480 Speaker 1: cool guy. You know, I think I think I had 594 00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:57,280 Speaker 1: a share, that's for sure. Yeah, yeah, oh boy, oh god. 595 00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:01,200 Speaker 1: It ended up best for op in the which is 596 00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:04,560 Speaker 1: what you want. But that's the end of this episode. 597 00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:07,880 Speaker 1: We got two thousand more episodes for you, and how 598 00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:10,840 Speaker 1: many hours of content j on fifty three days worse, 599 00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:14,160 Speaker 1: fifty three days, fifty three straight days, straight day. So 600 00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:17,160 Speaker 1: go check some of that out, and if you love us, 601 00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:20,680 Speaker 1: make sure to subscribe. We love you and see you tomorrow.