Speaker 1: It's I Do Part two and it's your favorite real
Speaker 1: life single Gal Louise back on with you. I'm excited
Speaker 1: today because I've got a guest who's been on the
Speaker 1: pod before. We love her because she keeps it authentic, honest,
Speaker 1: and most importantly real. You know her from Real Housewives
Speaker 1: of OC. It's Megan King. Hi, Megan, Nice to meet you.
Speaker 2: Ky Louise, Nice to meet you as well.
Speaker 1: So let's jump in. I know you have a lot
Speaker 1: that you want to talk about today, and on this
Speaker 1: pod we talk not just about divorces and dating, but
Speaker 1: also the mess that comes after divorce. I'm divorced, so
Speaker 1: I got you from your own experience. What's it like
Speaker 1: going through the mess and also being in the pub
Speaker 1: like I at the same time.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's been almost six years for me, so
Speaker 3: I'm divorced, and I've been divorced for quite some years now.
Speaker 3: But it seems as if when you know, whenever you
Speaker 3: just one decides willingly that they're going to be a
Speaker 3: public figure, as I did when I signed up for
Speaker 3: the Real Housewives of Orange County, it doesn't go away.
Speaker 3: It's you signing a deal with the devil and you
Speaker 3: gotta handle it, you know, whatever life throws your way
Speaker 3: after that. And for me, life through divorce my way
Speaker 3: and a very public messy one. I was married to
Speaker 3: another public figure and it's it's now the press and
Speaker 3: combined with whatever celebrity I may have earned from the Housewives,
Speaker 3: has exposed me to the masses, you know, the population
Speaker 3: as a villain or you know, however my ex wants
Speaker 3: to paint me as or anyone who has anything against
Speaker 3: me and so, and this isn't just a typical story
Speaker 3: with me. It's a typical story with most people going
Speaker 3: through any sort of you know, divorce or high stakes debate, conflict, conflict. Yeah, exactly,
Speaker 3: it sucks.
Speaker 1: It really does. Do you actually think that your platform
Speaker 1: that you've built is being used against you? Oh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I do.
Speaker 1: M M.
Speaker 3: I think that When I went in the Real Housewives
Speaker 3: Orange County, I showed my life as we do, and
Speaker 3: people fall in love with me or they or they
Speaker 3: learned to hate me through what you see on TV.
Speaker 3: So people feel like they know me. And then I
Speaker 3: extend that to my social media. I carefully cultivated my
Speaker 3: social media following on Instagram, and I showed people the
Speaker 3: real me and they do know me, and so they
Speaker 3: have strong opinions about that. Now my ex husband, or
Speaker 3: just anyone in general who's an athlete. They are known
Speaker 3: for their skill and not their personal lives, and so
Speaker 3: no one really truly cares about if you know, Joe
Speaker 3: Schmoe hockey player is getting divorced from beautiful Susie Q
Speaker 3: because nobody knows Susie C And nobody really cares about
Speaker 3: Joe Shmo's personal life. They care about how many goals
Speaker 3: he's scoring in the Stanley Cup. So unfortunately, in my situation,
Speaker 3: you have, you know, two people with platforms. But I
Speaker 3: think my platform is the one where people, well, I know,
Speaker 3: my platform is the one there are people care about
Speaker 3: my personal life. They like to watch the mess they
Speaker 3: like to watch that train wreck and my and because
Speaker 3: I have that, it's like anybody who wants to paint
Speaker 3: me in any sort of light can push that narrative
Speaker 3: out to the press, and I'm the one that has
Speaker 3: to deal with the fallout, not the baseball fans, not
Speaker 3: the one who put it there. It's me.
Speaker 1: It's actually really really painful. I live in Los Angeles.
Speaker 1: I see all the time in the entertainment world as well,
Speaker 1: and you know there's usually one person. A lot of
Speaker 1: times it's us that is kind of like odd man out,
Speaker 1: pushed out, and it's it's very painful. I can speak
Speaker 1: to that. Do you think that there's any way at
Speaker 1: this point for you to course correct the damage now
Speaker 1: that it's been done, or do you come to a
Speaker 1: point where it's I'm just not even to try to
Speaker 1: prove myself. I know who I am the people in
Speaker 1: my life that know me authentically, and I'm not going
Speaker 1: to sit here and try to like convince those people.
Speaker 1: Otherwise it's become entertainment for them, right, It's fodder for
Speaker 1: them because they're boring and they need to get a life. Okay, yes,
Speaker 1: So where do you sit on it? Do you feel
Speaker 1: compelled to try to clean it up? Or are you
Speaker 1: just like, eh, whatever.
Speaker 3: I think it's a combination of all of that. Yes,
Speaker 3: of course, the people who know me are going to
Speaker 3: know who I am, who the real me is, and
Speaker 3: they're going to support me no matter what. Or they're
Speaker 3: going to come to me with the true story and
Speaker 3: then that's that. Right, I'll tied up in a nice
Speaker 3: little bow. But that doesn't mean that the Court of
Speaker 3: public opinion has has heard that or believes that, and
Speaker 3: that is very important for me. I'm a real turn now.
Speaker 3: I have shifted my life for Jet Deory from being
Speaker 3: a public figure to really focusing on being a midbost mom,
Speaker 3: single mom. You've started a new career that in the
Speaker 3: middle of life. I mean, that's a daunting thing to do.
Speaker 3: So I'm kind of straddling this world where I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 3: I do need to defend myself a little bit in
Speaker 3: order to control the narrative, to control my reputation so
Speaker 3: that I can continue to get sales.
Speaker 1: Well, that's what I was going to ask you. I'm
Speaker 1: a realtor too. Has it impacted your business or no?
Speaker 1: Because of all the sexy real estate shows and there
Speaker 1: are a lot of people that like having the celebrity
Speaker 1: also as part of their representative.
Speaker 3: People don't want their Sotheby's agent, their high end me
Speaker 3: Sothibe's agent to be this, you know, selling sunset girl.
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 3: I live in country club, high end Saint Louis, Missouri.
Speaker 3: I'm in the middle of the country. It's very Southern
Speaker 3: traditional and it on one hand, and it's great because
Speaker 3: we protect one another in our community. And our individuals.
Speaker 3: On the other hand, it's a small big town, so
Speaker 3: everybody knows everything, and word travels fast, and so if
Speaker 3: that word is true or not true, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 3: Everybody's going to know, going to hear about it. And yes,
Speaker 3: it has effect of my business because I have had
Speaker 3: quote unquote haters call my brokerage to try to get
Speaker 3: me fired and tried to get me kicked off of
Speaker 3: a real estate team I was on. And then yesterday
Speaker 3: as an article and US Weekly came out, I had
Speaker 3: to meet with my broker to explain the real story.
Speaker 3: And you know what, gratefully and I'm so grateful my
Speaker 3: actions have spoken louder than my words over the last year,
Speaker 3: thank God, because my broker says she wouldn't even open
Speaker 3: the article. She has seen her yes, and that speaks
Speaker 3: for itself.
Speaker 1: So exactly empowered you and you had proven yourself to her.
Speaker 3: Yep, yep, yep. So that felt That feels really good.
Speaker 3: But that takes time. That takes to build that trust
Speaker 3: and to show people who you truly are. You can't
Speaker 3: just tell. That takes time, and so this has been
Speaker 3: a huge lesson in the arena of patients for me.
Speaker 3: Because I cannot fix the way people think about me,
Speaker 3: and other than saying something, if they're not going to
Speaker 3: believe me it, I just have to show them over time.
Speaker 3: And that is a very freaking humbling experience.
Speaker 1: It is because you have to. So you're living your
Speaker 1: life authentically and true to who you are right at
Speaker 1: the same time, still obviously posting on social media to
Speaker 1: create that and continue that and get clients and show
Speaker 1: them that you know how to handle their biggest investments, right,
Speaker 1: which is a big deal, and being discreet because we
Speaker 1: know everybody's finances. So it's like kind of a big jumble.
Speaker 1: And it's almost like, do you, as you're continuing to
Speaker 1: curate a bunch of different avenues in your life, do
Speaker 1: you feel that you worry that certain things can come
Speaker 1: back to bite you that maybe you didn't think about
Speaker 1: as much?
Speaker 3: Then Oh, my gosh, absolutely, yeah, yes, yes, yes, I
Speaker 3: think this is a very like time honored story. Right.
Speaker 3: Everybody kind of has their story, especially if you've been
Speaker 3: in the public eye. And my days in the public
Speaker 3: eye started when I was thirty years old. I'm now
Speaker 3: forty almost forty one, and so yeah, I did stupid
Speaker 3: stuff when I was thirty that I wouldn't have done today,
Speaker 3: or maybe or I should say, in the throes of
Speaker 3: a contentious divorce that was well unfolding in the public eye.
Speaker 3: At the same time, I found out that my baby
Speaker 3: had cerebral palsy and COVID hit. So yeah, I'm gonna
Speaker 3: I think that it's suffice to say that one would
Speaker 3: probably make some decisions that they might not during a
Speaker 3: time like that.
Speaker 1: Do you feel like people give you grace on that
Speaker 1: or no?
Speaker 3: I don't know. I think I was in such a
Speaker 3: tornado at the time I couldn't see my way out
Speaker 3: of it. Now, looking back, I think that people meaning that,
Speaker 3: like the fans who don't are people who don't know me.
Speaker 2: No, there was no grace. She's crazy.
Speaker 3: She's like, oh look at her spiraling, she's so pathetic
Speaker 3: or sad or drama she married him for the money,
Speaker 3: or she got this coming, whatever it is they want
Speaker 3: to say. But now I think it's it's like they
Speaker 3: can watch me and I either continue down whatever path
Speaker 3: that was, which was using the media to really try
Speaker 3: to vilify my ex husband at the time because I
Speaker 3: didn't know which way was up, and I regret doing that.
Speaker 3: I think it was messy and tacky, and I'm upset
Speaker 3: that I made those choices because now my children are
Speaker 3: going to see that one day, or they could if
Speaker 3: they want to search it. I will be honest with them.
Speaker 3: I knew at the time that they would see it
Speaker 3: one day, but I thought, you know, this is true,
Speaker 3: This is all true, and I'm gonna be able to
Speaker 3: have a strong relationship with my kids where I can
Speaker 3: explain that to them. Now, even with that clarity, I
Speaker 3: still regret it. But all I can do is change
Speaker 3: my approach going forward. But it doesn't really matter if
Speaker 3: all of it's in the past, it still comes back
Speaker 3: to haunt me. And that's just you know, the bed
Speaker 3: that I made, and no I'm laying in it.
Speaker 1: But here's the good news. As somebody who's been divorced
Speaker 1: longer than you and who's older than you is you're human.
Speaker 1: Lots of people go through very messy divorces that people
Speaker 1: love to tune into it, and I hear it all
Speaker 1: the time. So and so it is with the pickleball coach,
Speaker 1: this personette, whatever, they move on to their own step.
Speaker 1: At the end of the day, they're focused on themselves
Speaker 1: and other stories that's right. Come up, and you're right
Speaker 1: because you will have the relationship with your children. And
Speaker 1: you say, guys, it's painful getting divorced, and I hope
Speaker 1: that never happens to you. And we're all doing the
Speaker 1: best we can. But I love you with my entire heart,
Speaker 1: and I'm here and they'll be fine. Kids are resilient, period, right.
Speaker 3: And I just want to be authentic for them and
Speaker 3: say when I screw up, but yes, And I think
Speaker 3: we all kind of embrace those short sales or short
Speaker 3: news cycles and hope that you know, everything blows over
Speaker 3: and always does. It just takes a couple of days.
Speaker 3: But when stuff hits mainstream media like US Weekly, and
Speaker 3: it just it gets out of the blogs into the mainstream,
Speaker 3: that's when it starts to bother me. Because you're not
Speaker 3: just dealing with the people in their basements with their
Speaker 3: hand on their pants.
Speaker 2: Typing on Reddit all day long.
Speaker 3: These are professionals who are going to browse through headlines
Speaker 3: and they're going to see that US Weekly headlines. So
Speaker 3: that's when it really kind of starts to hit a
Speaker 3: little closer to home.
Speaker 1: I totally understand. Do you have people close to you
Speaker 1: that you feel support you that have gone through similar situations,
Speaker 1: Like if somebody else has walked your path, it feels
Speaker 1: like a safer kind of space that you feel supportive
Speaker 1: worre you know, instead of somebody who doesn't get it
Speaker 1: and you're like, you just don't get it, Like, do
Speaker 1: you feel like you've seen other people in these very
Speaker 1: similar toxic kind of situations.
Speaker 3: I mean, I think my own personal situation is so
Speaker 3: highly unique because of my exposure on the Housewives, being
Speaker 3: married to a professional athlete, and then the other you know,
Speaker 3: minutia that comes with the rest of my story. But
Speaker 3: I think that fame, and that's kind of the platform
Speaker 3: that I'm speaking to right now. I think that fame, money,
Speaker 3: influence good looks. I think that there's currency to all
Speaker 3: of those things as well. And so because of that
Speaker 3: and the perception of you know that, like fame is
Speaker 3: this elite person or money makes someone elite or whatever
Speaker 3: it is, how we perceive, you know, this currency that
Speaker 3: someone has a lot of. It's like we want to
Speaker 3: watch what it looks like to take them down. And so, yeah,
Speaker 3: I might not have the the like direct comparison to me,
Speaker 3: but I do have friends who have you know, a
Speaker 3: lot of money that people are trying to get to
Speaker 3: or take them down or create rumors about them or
Speaker 3: friends who you know are in politics or whatever. And
Speaker 3: so I think that we need to think about this issue,
Speaker 3: not even just you know, being a celebrity, but it's
Speaker 3: like sticking it to the proverbial man. And I represent
Speaker 3: as a celebrity some sort of proverbial man that people
Speaker 3: like to see fall on their on their knees, and
Speaker 3: because it kind of helps our simpletons feel better about themselves.
Speaker 1: But it's like the person who's driving and the you know,
Speaker 1: there's a car accident, everybody slows down to look. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's like it's sad that people want. People are envious,
Speaker 1: people are unhappy inherently right now, right, and people want
Speaker 1: to see beautiful, rich, successful people that were at the
Speaker 1: top of their game fall right, and also kind of
Speaker 1: normalizes their own experiences too. So yeah, it's it's like
Speaker 1: super super painful.
Speaker 3: I also think, Louise, that this is kind of like
Speaker 3: the modern day version of gladiators, like back in the
Speaker 3: Roman times, where it's just all these spectators gather around
Speaker 3: to watch a blood bath. It's not about what's fair
Speaker 3: or how they got there in the first place. It's
Speaker 3: not even that they even you don't even know if
Speaker 3: they want to be there. Like I think there are
Speaker 3: mostly like bad guys that were just like plucked out
Speaker 3: for people's entertainment. But I'm one of those gladiators right now.
Speaker 3: I'm just in a different arena and I never asked
Speaker 3: to be that gladiator. Somebody pulled me in there, and
Speaker 3: now I'm a spectacle and it does not matter how
Speaker 3: I get out of it, because it's not the truth
Speaker 3: that matters. It's the narrative that matters, and that's what
Speaker 3: the court of opinion will decide.
Speaker 1: And you have to You're going to continue to negate
Speaker 1: that narrative by people like your broker who supported you
Speaker 1: and didn't you know, read the article and subscribe to it.
Speaker 1: You're gonna do great work with your clients, and you're
Speaker 1: gonna build your people around you that you can trust,
Speaker 1: that know you, and.
Speaker 3: Then yeah, that's all you can do. I mean, it's
Speaker 3: difficult to not get angry in the in the meantime,
Speaker 3: you know, when you're building up that trust, like once again,
Speaker 3: back to the virtue of patients. It's been a huge challenge,
Speaker 3: but that's all that it is. And I told my
Speaker 3: kids that, you know, because as my children, my four
Speaker 3: sweet children, are products of this very contentious divorce between
Speaker 3: their parents. Sometimes they'll hear different things from different sides,
Speaker 3: and they'll say, well, somebody, you know, basically somebody's line.
Speaker 3: And I'll say to my children, listen, I'm telling you
Speaker 3: the truth, but there is no way that you can
Speaker 3: know that unless until time happens. So you're gonna so
Speaker 3: I'm gonna help you with this, and I'm gonna say,
Speaker 3: all right, this is what I said.
Speaker 2: Now let's wait till it happens. Blah blah, you know.
Speaker 3: And so I'm trying to teach them like that trust
Speaker 3: is built up over time, which is a sad lesson
Speaker 3: for seven and eight year.
Speaker 2: Old kids because they should always trust their parents.
Speaker 1: Do they go back and forth even lead to both houses?
Speaker 2: No, it's not no, it's not even no, it's.
Speaker 1: Not even okay, God, Yeah, well, I guess let's talk
Speaker 1: about what happens when you're in a contentious divorce and
Speaker 1: then there's new partners, because that brings a whole other
Speaker 1: kind of animal to it.
Speaker 3: I never knew what it would be, what it was
Speaker 3: like without a new partner, because I think it was
Speaker 3: like I think we'd been maybe split up, like two months,
Speaker 3: maybe less.
Speaker 2: I think it might have been less.
Speaker 3: It was okay, we split up the end of October
Speaker 3: twenty nineteen, and before twenty twenty hit he was living
Speaker 3: with his current.
Speaker 1: Well it's over it's overlap.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's overlap.
Speaker 1: It's overlap, which makes it really hard then for the
Speaker 1: ex wife and the new woman to be on this
Speaker 1: same page.
Speaker 3: Right, I don't have a relationship with with his new wife,
Speaker 3: so that I don't know. I mean, I think it
Speaker 3: would be better for the kids if we did, but
Speaker 3: it's it could be worse. I suppose it.
Speaker 1: Well, the problem is that the kids are still young, right,
Speaker 1: So if there was the ability where everybody could be
Speaker 1: some sort of you know, modern family that can you know,
Speaker 1: do holidays together and trips and you know, sit at
Speaker 1: parent teacher conference is great.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Do you feel that you don't have to answer this
Speaker 1: like who's the puppeteer in that relationship? Like who's who's
Speaker 1: perpetuating the drama that exists now between like you and
Speaker 1: her that's making it this way.
Speaker 3: I don't think there is drama between us I don't
Speaker 3: talk to her. I don't like, I don't know, Like,
Speaker 3: I don't think there is any there's nothing there, there's
Speaker 3: no relationship. It's like it's basically like I see a
Speaker 3: picture and she's a ghost, you know, it's to me
Speaker 3: kind of idea. I like. I like the role that
Speaker 3: she plays because she provides consistency for my children. She
Speaker 3: sounds like she's calm for the most part as far
Speaker 3: as like what my children say to me, and they
Speaker 3: like her, So I don't have any problem with her,
Speaker 3: Like any issues that she would have with me are
Speaker 3: secondary information. They're not you know, she hasn't derived her
Speaker 3: opinions about me directly from my relation our relationship. They're
Speaker 3: all third party opinions that she's taking a talk yeah yeah,
Speaker 3: pillow talk. So I don't but I don't know her
Speaker 3: and I don't try to know her. It's she's whatever
Speaker 3: to me, except that my kids like her, so that's fine,
Speaker 3: and she's not good.
Speaker 1: So what I what I appreciate from you, Megan, is
Speaker 1: you actually seem super neutral on it, right, which is
Speaker 1: really the best kind of place to be. So maybe
Speaker 1: do you think that there could be a world or
Speaker 1: what would it take for the situation between the two
Speaker 1: of you to be more comfortable.
Speaker 2: I guess between my ex and myself and.
Speaker 1: Like any even that, like after a contentious divorce, like
Speaker 1: is it time is like what is it? What do
Speaker 1: you think can eventually bring people back to you know,
Speaker 1: kind of a calm place where you just say, like,
Speaker 1: you're a dad, I'm the mom. These are Look, here's
Speaker 1: the thing with divorce people. You can get remarried. He
Speaker 1: can be remarried. Those three kids belong to the two
Speaker 1: of you.
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, do you think you seem like a girl's
Speaker 4: girl to me in the conversation of talking to Right,
Speaker 4: So it's important for women to support women, period, Okay, Right, So.
Speaker 1: It seems that a lot of times this is not
Speaker 1: the case. I've personally experienced this with people with my
Speaker 1: own friends, and it's like a heartbreak. Yes, why do
Speaker 1: you think it's important for women to support women? Would
Speaker 1: that create.
Speaker 3: I think that I think that, like basically, our culture
Speaker 3: has groomed us to think that the way that women
Speaker 3: communicate is negative or caddy or bad because women are
Speaker 3: emotional and they talk about what's going on more small
Speaker 3: talk than you know, broad talk like men would stereotypically
Speaker 3: be classified as I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
Speaker 3: I think that water cooler conversation is some of the
Speaker 3: most important conversations in order to keep our communities safe
Speaker 3: and and like families, you know, up to date and knowledgeable.
Speaker 3: So having said that, fast forward, you know, past your
Speaker 3: water cooler days, and here we are today and we
Speaker 3: are trying we try to say, like, you know, gossip
Speaker 3: is bad, let's reframe that. Like if we can reframe
Speaker 3: gossip as being good, as being women helping one another,
Speaker 3: then we could be so much more powerful as a sex.
Speaker 3: And I think that you know, we're as women, we
Speaker 3: are more emotional, but we're all so much more peaceful.
Speaker 3: And I think we just want to love everyone more,
Speaker 3: so we feel more attached to any sort of you know,
Speaker 3: emotionally charged situation. So it can divide us in a
Speaker 3: lot of ways, but generally speaking, I think we're all
Speaker 3: talking about the same thing, and we're all the generally
Speaker 3: the underdog in the situation. Don't even get me started
Speaker 3: on family court with.
Speaker 1: That, you know, what's a good idea? Actually, just like
Speaker 1: there's life coaches, or there should be a divorce coach.
Speaker 3: I think there are Oh well.
Speaker 1: It's like there's rush, you know, somebody's going through rush.
Speaker 1: Like a divorce coach should almost be in contentious situations,
Speaker 1: should be mandated by the courts or the lawyers or something.
Speaker 1: I mean they have that our family wizard. Yeah, in
Speaker 1: terms of are you guys using that for that?
Speaker 3: Oh gosh, oh just got two messages on it, Louise.
Speaker 1: Paper trail is so important.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well it doesn't seem like anybody cares though, well
Speaker 3: they don't.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's so true, but a divorce coach would
Speaker 1: be so good in terms of kind of navigating and.
Speaker 2: And what to say. I think language is so important.
Speaker 3: Like there's certain like like trigger words that I think
Speaker 3: the courts hate hearing, which are alienation narcissists. You know,
Speaker 3: they hate those words. But if you can describe the behaviors,
Speaker 3: that's okay.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, it's it's it's true. Do you find that
Speaker 1: it sounds like in your situation because it's content or
Speaker 1: maybe not whatever? Are you are your two household? It
Speaker 1: doesn't sound like you guys are on the same parenting page, right,
Speaker 1: So there's a lot of kind of re entry, right,
Speaker 1: so they come your house, there's like major unwinding of
Speaker 1: kind of an unpacking of that and that house, and
Speaker 1: then you've got to read bulls to them, to you
Speaker 1: and yours and probably right or true, and then they
Speaker 1: go back and it's this like repeat thing of Groundhog's Day,
Speaker 1: which is so hard to do. It's hard for these kids.
Speaker 3: I mean, I mean, well, you have to understand, I
Speaker 3: was a stepmom before I was a biological mother, and
Speaker 3: so I saw this this you know, game being played
Speaker 3: by this this dance, if you will, between the houses.
Speaker 3: I had that with my step kids, and those two
Speaker 3: households were much more on the same page than mine is.
Speaker 3: But I wouldn't go to great lengths to say that
Speaker 3: it was on the same page. But I just think
Speaker 3: that's like, I think it's easy to say, Okay, if
Speaker 3: we were on the same page, there would be easy
Speaker 3: re entry. But I don't agree with that. I think
Speaker 3: the re entry is going to be tough no matter
Speaker 3: the situation. Children thrive on routine, and switching houses is
Speaker 3: not routine. This is not how it was meant to
Speaker 3: be done. And so pointing fingers at are ex's is
Speaker 3: so easy to do, but really just sucks.
Speaker 1: Divorce sucks, and the people who get hurt are the kids? Yep?
Speaker 1: Are you a product divorce?
Speaker 3: No, My parents have been married fifty years in May.
Speaker 1: Did you grow up in the Midwest?
Speaker 3: Yep. Born and raised Saint Louis, Missouri, oldest of four kids,
Speaker 3: Irish Catholic. My parents are so in love, my dad writes,
Speaker 3: my mom loves notes that I'll find. My mom was
Speaker 3: over at my house last night, just hanging out with
Speaker 3: me and my kids, and my dad just drove by
Speaker 3: and popped out, kicked the soccer ball with the kids.
Speaker 3: I'm talking Americana right here. I grew up in a
Speaker 3: really great way. I couldn't have written the script better myself,
Speaker 3: and kind of think it hit me up, honestly because
Speaker 3: I thought that that's what I was going to get,
Speaker 3: and the boy was I in for surprise.
Speaker 1: Well, you know, it's interesting because I'm a product of
Speaker 1: a tough divorce and I made bad choices, my sister,
Speaker 1: I mean, just whatever relationship choices.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course. And you know I can kind of
Speaker 1: under I know what my baggage is right now after
Speaker 1: this many years of doing it, like I understand where
Speaker 1: it comes from. Super hard to unwind it at.
Speaker 3: Fifty totally.
Speaker 1: More clarity though, Yes, but we have default behaviors. It's
Speaker 1: very hard I see, yes, right. But it's funny because
Speaker 1: a very few people where I live in Los Angeles,
Speaker 1: most people are divorced, and I can count on one
Speaker 1: hand of my big group of friends two couples that
Speaker 1: I think are genuinely happy, okay, And it's interesting to
Speaker 1: really kind of take stock of whose parents are still
Speaker 1: married and in love and the environment that they grew
Speaker 1: up in. And I would say most of the happily
Speaker 1: married people are the ones that grew up in that
Speaker 1: environment because that example was healthy and so it continued.
Speaker 3: It didn't occur to me that there's bad people in
Speaker 3: the world because the only thing that occurred to me
Speaker 3: was that people show up authentically in relationship, especially you know,
Speaker 3: a partnership. And when that didn't happen, that was just
Speaker 3: mind boggling for me. But I thought I had this
Speaker 3: great family that could fix him.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: I saw that his childhood was more challenging than mine.
Speaker 3: My heart goes out to anyone with those any challenges
Speaker 3: in childhood. It's not your fault. And I would never.
Speaker 2: Blame him for the way he was raised. Or how
Speaker 2: that painted him.
Speaker 3: But he's a grown up now, and so if he's
Speaker 3: not able to overcome, like you said, even those patterns
Speaker 3: are hard to overcome. But you're a grown up now
Speaker 3: and it's up to you, you know, to decide if
Speaker 3: you're going to let that shape you or not. Now,
Speaker 3: I thought that all he needed was, oh, here's a
Speaker 3: stable family, and here's good people, and here's Sunday dinners.
Speaker 2: No, that's that's nice.
Speaker 1: That's his childhood wounds in all of his baggage set.
Speaker 1: But you know, to your point, like such, when people
Speaker 1: choose to have children and there's eyes on us at
Speaker 1: all times, like we don't want to continue to perpetuate
Speaker 1: the cycle. Right, So it's almost like, okay, so maybe
Speaker 1: he didn't get off scott free, or you didn't get
Speaker 1: it off scott free, or I didn't, but like you know,
Speaker 1: the onus is on us to try to do it differently,
Speaker 1: for them to see it differently, right, So you know,
Speaker 1: hopefully he'll get there to do that with you.
Speaker 2: I mean, I think I'm on my own journey as well.
Speaker 3: You know, this is not what I thought my life
Speaker 3: would look like as a mother and at all, and
Speaker 3: this is not the type of mother I thought I
Speaker 3: would be. I think I thought I would be a
Speaker 3: lot better mom. I have a lot of stress taking
Speaker 3: up my time and energy, like lawsuit with my ex
Speaker 3: being a major one, and I can't like, once again,
Speaker 3: I can't just point the finger at my ex saying
Speaker 3: like you drew me in a lawsuit or whatever. I'm
Speaker 3: still there, you know, like I'm still in it as well,
Speaker 3: and I have to be able to prioritize my values
Speaker 3: in order to give my kids the best chance. And
Speaker 3: hopefully I'm not totally poking them up.
Speaker 1: Well, I don't think you are, because I think what
Speaker 1: they're seeing is a real vulnerability. You know, they'll listen
Speaker 1: to this, They'll they know who you are. They can
Speaker 1: look in your eyes. You have kind eyes. They're also
Speaker 1: around your parents, and they're around that unit, so as
Speaker 1: much as maybe they're feeling that kind of family love,
Speaker 1: devotion and all of that. So I do think that
Speaker 1: it takes a village, and I think you have a village.
Speaker 1: You're not alone on that No, it might be on
Speaker 1: purely on one side of the fence, because you're not
Speaker 1: there in conjunction with your ex husband, but you have
Speaker 1: a lot of people they are loving and supporting to
Speaker 1: lead by example.
Speaker 3: And I think that's huge and that is a system
Speaker 3: that I put in place that I'm proud of myself
Speaker 3: that I did for my children because I think there's
Speaker 3: you know, a lot of different factors that go into
Speaker 3: created in person and who they turn out to be.
Speaker 3: And you hear these miraculous stories of these kids with
Speaker 3: horrible childhoods who turn out to do great things in life,
Speaker 3: and they're quote unquote miraculous stories, but I disagree. I
Speaker 3: don't think they're miraculous because the common denominator and all
Speaker 3: of those success stories are these children were surrounded by
Speaker 3: community with good positive examples. And so when these kids
Speaker 3: didn't have you know, their buckets filled at home, they
Speaker 3: could find it within the community that they were surrounded by.
Speaker 3: And I have at least been able to provide that
Speaker 3: for my children. So if I took up in all
Speaker 3: the ways, and their dad's up in all the ways,
Speaker 3: hopefully their community can carry them through. So at least
Speaker 3: I got that right.
Speaker 1: And you know, don't, Megan, don't underestimate what you're showing
Speaker 1: them by getting a career working being a strong woman,
Speaker 1: like I will tell you. My kids have watched it
Speaker 1: and as they went to college, they really commented on that.
Speaker 1: So you're setting an incredible example to your child.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I am. I hear them talk about it.
Speaker 3: They're very proud of me. They like to talk about
Speaker 3: how I'm a realtor and I've taken them to houses
Speaker 3: and they like to talk about how they went to
Speaker 3: work with mommy, and they are proud. It's really cool
Speaker 3: to see. And it's not just the work, but I
Speaker 3: think it's just something that they like to see that
Speaker 3: their mom is doing things that that like are outside
Speaker 3: just the norm of.
Speaker 1: You're doing something for yourself and you're making a difference.
Speaker 1: And I think it's a really good example. But just
Speaker 1: wait till you start taking them to listings of yours
Speaker 1: that are not within your reach to buy. That happened
Speaker 1: my kids like why do we live here? I'm like,
Speaker 1: not in mom's wheelhouse. Sorry. Home is the people, not
Speaker 1: the structure.
Speaker 3: My eggs had, you know, this massive, massive, massive, twenty
Speaker 3: thousand square foot home and I don't. And so my
Speaker 3: kids would used to say to me, well, why don't
Speaker 3: we have a bowling now in the basement? Mom? But
Speaker 3: when down there why don't we have many golfer a
Speaker 3: slide or in a pool, And and so I'm used
Speaker 3: to that, which is my kids are used to that.
Speaker 3: But you know what, my daughter and my kids, they
Speaker 3: feel the energy. And one of my favorite stories, my
Speaker 3: daughter's friend's parents just got separated and the mom moved
Speaker 3: from a nice house to a little, you know, two
Speaker 3: bedroom house, and my daughter, Aspen was picked up from
Speaker 3: her dad's house or is twenty thousand square foot brand new,
Speaker 3: we're just mansion, and to go to this girl's house.
Speaker 3: And she said this. Mom told me that my daughter
Speaker 3: Aspen walks in and goes into this little girl's room
Speaker 3: and says, oh my gosh, this is the coolest room
Speaker 3: I've ever seen. I wish my room looked like this,
Speaker 3: and she meant it.
Speaker 2: It's she truly did.
Speaker 3: And the mom told me that she started to cry
Speaker 3: so like it's that means the world to me. That
Speaker 3: tells me right there that I'm doing something.
Speaker 1: Okay, I always lived in a smaller house and place
Speaker 1: than my ex husband did, and I didn't quite have
Speaker 1: the access and the perks and the trips and the
Speaker 1: I mean I really and it was hard for me
Speaker 1: at times like I kind of felt less than.
Speaker 3: And I get it.
Speaker 1: I said to my kids one day and I said, look,
Speaker 1: and I've always taught them this, and I actually hear
Speaker 1: them repeating it, so I know they're absorbing it. So
Speaker 1: this is a good one for you to remember. Okay, right,
Speaker 1: OM is the people. It's not the structure that's cute.
Speaker 1: That's great, and they have learned it, and I, over
Speaker 1: the years have felt badly when I can't, you know,
Speaker 1: take them to Japan and get them, you know, floor ceasier,
Speaker 1: and I feel kind of like I suck, I'm a loser.
Speaker 1: And they have said to me, Mom, we love you
Speaker 1: for you and we're proud of you. And it doesn't
Speaker 1: that it does. And I really believe it, I really
Speaker 1: really and my kids are in their twenties.
Speaker 3: They do believe it because it's true. And I can't
Speaker 3: do those things for my kids either, but I'm proud
Speaker 3: of what I can do. I couldn't take my daughter
Speaker 3: to Portugal to Lisbon to go see Taylor Swift this
Speaker 3: year with VIPs, but you know what I could do.
Speaker 2: I took her to the.
Speaker 3: Outskirts of Saint Louis and I took her to a
Speaker 3: Taylor Swift cover band during the Era's tour, you know,
Speaker 3: and she had a blast. And it's like it's it's
Speaker 3: just I think so much about the effort and curating
Speaker 3: an experience and the time together that.
Speaker 1: I think it's the time. I think it's the time.
Speaker 3: So much more important than anything else, you know. And
Speaker 3: I can't afford vacation, crazy elaborate vacations. But I can't
Speaker 3: afford to spend money on myself. Was credit card and
Speaker 3: get some points and buy tickets for my kids. You know,
Speaker 3: I am.
Speaker 1: Scrapped, Darlin, I'm kidding, are you?
Speaker 3: I'm both? Actually? Yeah, I do whatever I can and
Speaker 3: I get and I get creative with it and scrappy
Speaker 3: with it. And I'm proud of myself and I hope
Speaker 3: I know my kids see the work that I put
Speaker 3: into it.
Speaker 1: So here's another really good thing. And it's something I
Speaker 1: started to do. And again, your kids sound old enough
Speaker 1: to start doing it. A couple of things. First of all,
Speaker 1: I would sit at the dinner table and we I
Speaker 1: don't think. I don't know if your kids have phones yet.
Speaker 1: Usually kids would divorce do because.
Speaker 2: They have like iPads. But I don't have phone numbers
Speaker 2: for them.
Speaker 1: Okay, So you sit at the table without devices. Okay,
Speaker 1: I got it, and you will be shocked at how
Speaker 1: observant and smart kids are at different ages and start
Speaker 1: asking open ended questions things like this. If you were
Speaker 1: to describe mom and dad separately in three words good
Speaker 1: or bad to people who don't know them, what would
Speaker 1: you say?
Speaker 2: Oh, that's cute.
Speaker 1: You will be shocked by the answer because they get it. Okay,
Speaker 1: and never one What is your happiest memory to date?
Speaker 1: I mean, there's so many questions, and I can send
Speaker 1: you where I got most of them. But there's an
Speaker 1: app you can download called Wholesome holsom and it has
Speaker 1: all types of categories of open ended questions, whether it's
Speaker 1: for kids of this age, or relationships or humor. And
Speaker 1: it makes the conversation at the dinner table more connected,
Speaker 1: more textured, and more memorable. And it's going to bring you, guys,
Speaker 1: really closer, and I get it's going to show your depth,
Speaker 1: and it's going to show you it's going to allow
Speaker 1: you to show them who you are because you're going
Speaker 1: to answer the same questions. And it's also going to
Speaker 1: allow them to feel comfort to have real conversations with you,
Speaker 1: and then you're going to eliminate the surface, like how
Speaker 1: was school today good? Did you write your friends or Dick?
Speaker 3: I forgot?
Speaker 1: Yeah, like it just makes for a really great, really
Speaker 1: good And then the other thing I always did too,
Speaker 1: which was important, was to sounds stupid, but you know
Speaker 1: everywhere we went, whether it was at night after I
Speaker 1: made them. My kids were third and fifth grade, they
Speaker 1: were young like yours, and I had each kid pick
Speaker 1: a TV show that they were going to watch with me,
Speaker 1: and then when they went to dad's house they couldn't
Speaker 1: watch it, and then they would come back and it
Speaker 1: would be our time together the show. And then the
Speaker 1: other thing is Rummy Cube. I don't know if you
Speaker 1: play a game with the kids. We do, okay, So
Speaker 1: Rubny Cube was like it was easy, it was you know,
Speaker 1: you could take it on trips, you could play it
Speaker 1: at home, and it was just time spent together to
Speaker 1: build the foundation. Because when they get older, they kind
Speaker 1: of go out and they're living their lives, which is
Speaker 1: what you want. You want them to launch.
Speaker 3: We do. I feel like we do the game Sorry
Speaker 3: Uno and Monopoly on repeat. We constantly have a family
Speaker 3: puzzle out, so everybody has the role, you know, and
Speaker 3: we all sit there whenever, you know, to do the
Speaker 3: family puzzle and our but our favorite thing to do
Speaker 3: together as a family is hop on our golf cart
Speaker 3: and every Sunday we take the cardboard to the recycling center,
Speaker 3: which is in our little downtown. Yeah. So like we do.
Speaker 3: I really try to do like the absolute most that
Speaker 3: I can for my children, and I love it and
Speaker 3: they have we have these traditions together that they'll always remember,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 1: But that's my point. It doesn't matter we ride our.
Speaker 3: Bikes into the farmer's market and they you know, stuff
Speaker 3: like that.
Speaker 1: It's the time spent and the activity and the memory.
Speaker 1: It's not the you know, whipping on a private plane.
Speaker 3: And no whatever, which is cool too, by the way,
Speaker 3: which is really cool too.
Speaker 2: They're not gonna get from mama.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, honestly, what's more important is the small
Speaker 1: things and finding joy and appreciation and value in the
Speaker 1: small things period. And you're doing that, and you're also
Speaker 1: showing them community service too, which is giving back.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's true, it is, and being an active member
Speaker 3: of the community. We go to the local performing arts center,
Speaker 3: we're involved in the community center. I do all the things.
Speaker 3: I'm such a Midwest mom and like, this is how
Speaker 3: I was raised and I'm doing the same thing for
Speaker 3: my kids. But I think my first, So my first,
Speaker 3: I'm forty one, almost forty one. I'll at least live
Speaker 3: to be eighty. So I have you, know less.
Speaker 1: Than half fill twenty five?
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, so holy seventy five more years? Then?
Speaker 1: All right, so I have you for a few more minutes.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna ask a couple more things.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah, So house wives fans, Well, first of all,
Speaker 5: is there anything else now that you have this floor
Speaker 5: in this platform that you want to say to address
Speaker 5: any of the stuff that's kind of recently been out there,
Speaker 5: you know, kind of this is your time to just
Speaker 5: hit it home one more time, or do you feel
Speaker 5: like you've got out what you wanted to say?
Speaker 3: What I want to say is just super high level
Speaker 3: and it's not in the weeds with me specifically. I'm
Speaker 3: so over being in the press and the drama that
Speaker 3: relates to me specifically. I think that I'm here for
Speaker 3: like to try to give voice to a bigger message
Speaker 3: here that celebrity is more accessible than ever with the advent,
Speaker 3: and like proliferation of reality television, and so it's easy,
Speaker 3: it's easier than ever to consume media and to also
Speaker 3: use media to villainize others. And I think that it's
Speaker 3: just important to be mindful as we scroll through our
Speaker 3: phones that of the repercussions that can be held on
Speaker 3: these individuals.
Speaker 1: Okay, so Housewive fans have been wanting you to come
Speaker 1: back to the OC franchise.
Speaker 3: They have recently.
Speaker 1: Your former cast member Vicky, who isn't even on the
Speaker 1: show anymore, said no when a fan suggested that you
Speaker 1: come back, Soper off, How does that comment make you feel?
Speaker 1: And I don't know, do you see you don't live
Speaker 1: there anymore? But would you ever go back if they offered?
Speaker 1: Or are you pretty set being back with your family
Speaker 1: doing real estate, being around the Midwest values none of
Speaker 1: that kind of you know, flashy glamorama type stuff and
Speaker 1: like hunkering down. Is it a different stage of your
Speaker 1: life or does that calling still kind.
Speaker 2: Of I'm into all of that.
Speaker 3: It's just like on a more adult level, if you will,
Speaker 3: I not missed thirty year old level. I told Alex Baskin,
Speaker 3: he's one of the executive producers that I'm open.
Speaker 2: I would be interested in being a friend.
Speaker 3: I told, oh, and I'm friends with I'm friends with
Speaker 3: Tracy Tudor, I'm friends with She's she's a real estate
Speaker 3: agent on TV Million Dollars Listening, and then so and
Speaker 3: I'm friends with Jeff Lewis, who's also in real estate.
Speaker 3: So I think it would be fun to do real
Speaker 3: estate in California, but I don't have my license. I
Speaker 3: mean it's a pipe dream, you know. It's kind of
Speaker 3: like playing in house in my head.
Speaker 2: But yeah, i'd go back.
Speaker 1: You would do a real estate show, but maybe not
Speaker 1: a housewive back to that whole.
Speaker 3: I don't know if I want to be like on
Speaker 3: for my life as much, but I would like to
Speaker 3: be a friend that they don't really like dig into
Speaker 3: your life as a friend.
Speaker 2: I got it Vicky Is.
Speaker 3: I thought it was funny that she even responded to that,
Speaker 3: because like, Vicky doesn't give a fuck about me. I
Speaker 3: can promise you that I don't know about her, and
Speaker 3: so it's funny that like it's still this beef is
Speaker 3: still out there. I think it's kind of cute.
Speaker 1: It's cute, and I think it's also people's way of
Speaker 1: still kind of being like relevant.
Speaker 3: In the mix. Yeah, right, we look, we're talking about it.
Speaker 1: We're talking about it. So yeah, it's kind of like
Speaker 1: I would teach my kids, like even if somebody's talking,
Speaker 1: they're talking about you, it means you matter. It's true, right,
Speaker 1: if people aren't talking about you, then like you're irrelevant. Well, Megan,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for the honest thanks. I know
Speaker 1: many of us you have gone through divorce. They're going
Speaker 1: through divorce. Many of my friends are family members, very relatable,
Speaker 1: and each time I tell my kids people we know
Speaker 1: are getting divorced, they look at me like this, doesn't
Speaker 1: everyone get divorced. So I've got a lot to unwind there.
Speaker 1: So maybe I'm gonna ship them to the Midwest and
Speaker 1: they'd have a better opportunity. Anyways, if you're going through
Speaker 1: a difficult divorce and feel like you aren't moving in
Speaker 1: a positive direction or you need some help, call us
Speaker 1: or email us all the infos in the show notes,
Speaker 1: follow us on socials, and make sure to rate and
Speaker 1: review the podcast. I do Part two an iHeartRadio podcast
Speaker 1: where falling in love is the main objective. And let's
Speaker 1: hope your chapter two and my chapter two are like
Speaker 1: better and they're.
Speaker 3: Moving on right into the sunset.
Speaker 1: Gotcha all right, Take care, Thanks BYEEE