WEBVTT - Between Two Extremes (Larry Brey) 0:01:06.800 --> 0:01:10.720 Lord, would you meet with us again. I'm glad you 0:01:11.000 --> 0:01:13.800 gathered together under the name of Jesus today, wherever you're at, 0:01:13.840 --> 0:01:16.600 in one of our locations or part of our epham, 0:01:16.640 --> 0:01:19.920 because God's got something for you today. I believe it. 0:01:20.000 --> 0:01:22.280 Because he woke you up today, he puts you in 0:01:22.319 --> 0:01:24.199 one of our locations, or he puts you on this stream, 0:01:24.319 --> 0:01:26.640 it's because he's got something he wants to speak to you. 0:01:27.560 --> 0:01:33.280 I'm gonna be in Matthew chapter sixteen. Pastor Steven's been 0:01:33.319 --> 0:01:35.800 in this season. He's preached about Peter quite a bit. 0:01:36.720 --> 0:01:39.720 And when he preached a couple of weeks ago about 0:01:39.720 --> 0:01:44.240 Peter never stop Knocking, and the Lord said, you're Peter. 0:01:45.160 --> 0:01:46.800 You need to talk about yourself. You need to talk 0:01:46.800 --> 0:01:50.920 about Peters. What the assignment is today? And Matthew sixteen 0:01:50.960 --> 0:01:54.800 it says when Jesus came to the region of Cesarea Philippi, 0:01:55.320 --> 0:01:59.080 he asked his disciples, who do people say the Son 0:01:59.120 --> 0:02:02.480 of Man is now? It's good for us to know 0:02:02.560 --> 0:02:04.960 in the scriptures that if Jesus is asking a question, 0:02:05.440 --> 0:02:08.600 it's not because he's lacking information. He is the answer. 0:02:08.760 --> 0:02:10.880 He knows what you're thinking before you even think it. 0:02:11.080 --> 0:02:13.080 He's not asking you to see what the answer is. 0:02:13.280 --> 0:02:16.440 He's asking BASI wants to give you a revelation. I 0:02:16.480 --> 0:02:19.359 wonder what question Jesus is asking you today, because he 0:02:19.400 --> 0:02:22.160 wants to reveal something to you. He's wondering, what do 0:02:22.320 --> 0:02:28.120 they say? Say they? They replied, Some say John the Baptist, 0:02:28.200 --> 0:02:31.520 others Elijah, and still others Jeremiah, one of the prophets. 0:02:32.000 --> 0:02:37.160 But what about you, he asked, who do you say? 0:02:37.919 --> 0:02:41.839 You know? Say you? And there's this tension that's set 0:02:41.919 --> 0:02:46.360 up in the text between what they and what you. 0:02:47.600 --> 0:02:49.680 And I think that's where humanity is found is between 0:02:49.680 --> 0:02:54.160 those two extremes. It's in that space. Jesus replied, Actually, 0:02:54.280 --> 0:02:59.080 Simon Peter answered, of course he did, as Simon always 0:02:59.120 --> 0:03:02.400 feels in that empty space with something. Simon Peter answered, 0:03:02.440 --> 0:03:05.000 you are the Messiah, the son of the Living God, 0:03:05.600 --> 0:03:09.040 Verse seventeen. Jesus replied, blessed are you, Simon's son of Jonah. 0:03:09.400 --> 0:03:11.640 For this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, 0:03:11.680 --> 0:03:14.960 but by my Father in Heaven. And I tell you 0:03:15.000 --> 0:03:18.200 that you are Peter, and on this rock I will 0:03:18.240 --> 0:03:21.240 build my church, and the gates of Hades will not 0:03:22.000 --> 0:03:26.080 overcome it, and the title for today's message is this 0:03:26.240 --> 0:03:31.480 is between two extremes, between typing into the comments and 0:03:31.520 --> 0:03:33.799 I want to force you to the extreme. You got 0:03:33.800 --> 0:03:35.680 a person on your right or your left, if you're 0:03:35.680 --> 0:03:37.880 in one of our physical locations, pick one of them, 0:03:37.880 --> 0:03:40.600 whichever is your favorite, and tell them good morning. For 0:03:40.680 --> 0:03:44.040 those of you online, Epham, type into the comments, whoever 0:03:44.080 --> 0:03:47.080 your favorite person is, just let them know. After you've 0:03:47.080 --> 0:03:50.040 done that, you could have a seat. I know I 0:03:50.080 --> 0:03:52.360 created a fight for later in the day. Some of 0:03:52.400 --> 0:03:54.360 you you're caught between it, and you're saying I love 0:03:54.520 --> 0:03:56.320 both of you because you don't like being forced to 0:03:56.360 --> 0:03:59.320 the extreme. Hey, but one of the values of our 0:03:59.320 --> 0:04:03.320 ministry is gratitude is never silent, and it would be 0:04:03.440 --> 0:04:06.520 remiss for me to take this moment to honor our pastors. 0:04:06.840 --> 0:04:10.040 Gratitude is never silent. Look at it this way, what 0:04:10.120 --> 0:04:13.120 if what you failed to celebrate today were not in 0:04:13.160 --> 0:04:17.320 your life tomorrow. Gratitude is a currency. I wonder how 0:04:17.320 --> 0:04:19.359 well you're investing into the people around you with the 0:04:19.400 --> 0:04:22.160 spirit of gratitude. So I just wanted to take a 0:04:22.160 --> 0:04:24.920 moment to thank Pastor Stephen and Pastor Holly for the 0:04:25.400 --> 0:04:29.799 way they lead this ministry each and every week. It's amazing. 0:04:30.920 --> 0:04:34.400 And he's been my pastor forever seventeen years. And he's 0:04:34.400 --> 0:04:37.120 pretty amazing on the stage. But as awesome as he 0:04:37.200 --> 0:04:39.560 is on the stage, he's even better off the stage. 0:04:40.200 --> 0:04:41.839 He gathered a group of staff around me early this 0:04:41.880 --> 0:04:43.600 week just to pray for me. He took time out 0:04:43.640 --> 0:04:46.360 of his schedule just to create that moment. So Pastor Stephen, 0:04:46.400 --> 0:04:49.360 we love you. And so this story we're in right 0:04:49.400 --> 0:04:51.560 now out of Matthew chapter sixteen, it's a pivot point 0:04:51.600 --> 0:04:55.800 in the journey of Jesus. He knows his assignment is 0:04:55.839 --> 0:04:58.280 to get to the cross, but he has not actually 0:04:58.320 --> 0:05:01.520 divulged those details to his desire piples yet. They've been 0:05:01.560 --> 0:05:03.480 following him for about a year and a half or so, 0:05:03.800 --> 0:05:05.920 they have not heard him talk about I must die 0:05:06.000 --> 0:05:08.919 on the cross. He's about to reveal those things. So 0:05:09.120 --> 0:05:12.280 Jesus is taking his disciples to a place where he's 0:05:12.279 --> 0:05:15.320 going to start asking them some questions. Who do they 0:05:15.360 --> 0:05:18.480 say I am? And who do you say that I am? 0:05:18.520 --> 0:05:21.800 Because the process is about to change, because all of 0:05:21.839 --> 0:05:25.200 that is going to be brought into question, and Jesus 0:05:25.360 --> 0:05:29.240 is preparing them for the next part of the journey. 0:05:29.400 --> 0:05:32.919 Jesus is asking you questions today because he's preparing you 0:05:33.040 --> 0:05:36.600 for the next part of the journey. So as we 0:05:36.680 --> 0:05:39.039 jump into this text, the two words that spoke up 0:05:39.040 --> 0:05:44.000 to me about Jesus in this space is identity and assignment. 0:05:45.320 --> 0:05:49.719 It's these are questions of identity. Who do they say? Now, 0:05:49.760 --> 0:05:52.000 he is not starving for attention. He's not trying to 0:05:52.000 --> 0:05:54.880 stroke his ego. He's not a politician trying to see 0:05:54.880 --> 0:05:57.800 how he's doing in the national polls. He's not asking 0:05:57.839 --> 0:06:03.240 these questions to float himself. He's asking these questions because, hey, disciples, 0:06:03.480 --> 0:06:09.600 who do they say? But more importantly, who do you say? Identity? 0:06:09.720 --> 0:06:12.160 These are questions of identity, but assignment. Jesus knew his 0:06:12.200 --> 0:06:16.720 assignment was to go to the cross. Those are two 0:06:16.800 --> 0:06:21.240 key concepts. But I wrote this down. Confidence in identity 0:06:21.760 --> 0:06:28.080 leads to obedience in the assignment. Confidence in identity leads 0:06:28.120 --> 0:06:33.240 to obedience in the assignment. You see will often pray, Lord, 0:06:33.279 --> 0:06:36.120 give me confidence in the assignment. No, no, no, there's 0:06:36.160 --> 0:06:39.120 an order to this thing called faith. Before we deal 0:06:39.160 --> 0:06:40.960 with the assignment, We've got to deal with the identity. 0:06:41.320 --> 0:06:44.040 So as he's going through these two questions, who do 0:06:44.120 --> 0:06:46.159 they say and who do you say? I want you 0:06:46.200 --> 0:06:48.640 to listen at multiple levels. I want to underscore what 0:06:48.640 --> 0:06:51.760 Pastor Stephen said last week. How will often trivialize the Bible, 0:06:51.760 --> 0:06:55.280 saying it's just, you know, God's little instruction book for people. No, no, no, no, 0:06:55.320 --> 0:06:57.560 that's not it. I heard a old preacher man say 0:06:57.560 --> 0:06:59.920 it like this once he goes the Bible. It's basic 0:07:00.200 --> 0:07:05.600 instructions before leaving earth. No, it's not basic instructions before 0:07:05.880 --> 0:07:08.960 leaving earth. It's not his little instruction. But no, no, no. 0:07:09.080 --> 0:07:12.760 The purpose of scripture is to reveal Jesus. The primary 0:07:12.840 --> 0:07:17.520 purpose of the text is to reveal Jesus into your life. 0:07:17.560 --> 0:07:20.120 That's why he gives it to us. There's an order 0:07:20.200 --> 0:07:22.960 to the text. So when we start looking at these questions, 0:07:23.040 --> 0:07:26.080 who do they and who do you? The first level 0:07:26.120 --> 0:07:30.480 I want you listening at is Jesus. Who do they 0:07:30.560 --> 0:07:34.520 say Jesus is? And who do you say Jesus is? 0:07:34.640 --> 0:07:39.120 Because there is some teenage boy in another part of 0:07:39.120 --> 0:07:42.000 the country who's watching this in his bedroom with the 0:07:42.040 --> 0:07:44.600 door closed and his earphones on, and he's underneath his 0:07:44.640 --> 0:07:47.320 covers watching this because he knew if they found out 0:07:47.440 --> 0:07:50.440 he was watching church, he would get in trouble, but 0:07:50.560 --> 0:07:52.960 something has been stirred in his heart and he is 0:07:53.000 --> 0:07:55.800 trying to answer the questions who is Jesus to me? 0:07:56.120 --> 0:07:59.240 Who do I say that Jesus is? That's really happening. 0:07:59.360 --> 0:08:01.240 And there's somebody in another part of the world that's 0:08:01.320 --> 0:08:04.280 watching on a screen. And they knew if they found out, 0:08:04.280 --> 0:08:06.320 they would be killed for their faith, but they said, 0:08:06.360 --> 0:08:08.400 I love Jesus too much, and even if those are 0:08:08.440 --> 0:08:13.640 the circumstances, I must follow him. Who do they say? 0:08:14.520 --> 0:08:17.559 And who do you say? And then the next level, 0:08:17.560 --> 0:08:21.480 because oh aw Tozer says this. He says, what comes 0:08:21.480 --> 0:08:25.000 into your mind when you think about God is the 0:08:25.000 --> 0:08:29.680 most important thing about you. What comes into your mind 0:08:29.680 --> 0:08:32.000 when you think about God is the most important thing 0:08:32.800 --> 0:08:34.720 about you. So I want you listening at that level 0:08:34.720 --> 0:08:36.559 of who do they say he is? And then who 0:08:36.559 --> 0:08:38.520 do you say? But I also wants you listening at 0:08:38.559 --> 0:08:42.839 the level of you, who do they say that you are? 0:08:44.600 --> 0:08:46.839 And then Jesus, who do you say that I am? 0:08:48.200 --> 0:08:50.439 And I need you listening at both of those levels. 0:08:51.160 --> 0:08:52.640 And some of you are like, oh, I already got 0:08:52.679 --> 0:08:54.760 the answer the gold star. I know who Jesus is 0:08:54.800 --> 0:08:56.920 you know, he's the word, he's the flash, He's all this. Yeah, 0:08:56.960 --> 0:08:58.760 you've been coming to church for twenty years and you 0:08:58.800 --> 0:09:00.640 get the gold star, and you get the sticker, and 0:09:00.679 --> 0:09:03.200 you talk about Jesus for ninety minutes on Sunday, but 0:09:03.240 --> 0:09:06.800 you live like hell Monday through Saturday. Because the answer 0:09:06.960 --> 0:09:09.880 is not with your language, it's with their lifestyle. The 0:09:09.960 --> 0:09:12.640 answer to these things are not ultimately described in what 0:09:12.720 --> 0:09:15.600 you say, because at the end of this in verse twenty, 0:09:15.679 --> 0:09:19.240 Jesus and don't tell anybody he's the Messiah. Why would 0:09:19.280 --> 0:09:21.480 he make that out landish claim because he says, it's 0:09:21.480 --> 0:09:25.920 not about what you say. Words are cheap, and I'm 0:09:25.960 --> 0:09:29.800 tired of you throwing out cheap race. I once you 0:09:29.840 --> 0:09:32.240 counting the cost of really what it means to follow Jesus, 0:09:32.480 --> 0:09:35.600 because as these disciples move forward from this moment, it 0:09:35.679 --> 0:09:39.200 will cost them everything, but they will come to these 0:09:39.240 --> 0:09:43.440 places of who do they say? And who do you say? 0:09:43.559 --> 0:09:47.480 In this text, Peter is the central character. He's the 0:09:47.480 --> 0:09:49.800 guy that speaks of of course he does. That's Peter. 0:09:50.240 --> 0:09:52.480 He's also called Simon for those of you that are 0:09:52.559 --> 0:09:55.480 knew the church. He's got two names. Simon is the 0:09:55.480 --> 0:09:59.560 birth name he was given. It means shifty, it means fluid. 0:09:59.600 --> 0:10:03.640 It almost paints a picture of water, like is that? 0:10:03.800 --> 0:10:06.240 But now when he encounters Christ, he's given a new name, 0:10:06.480 --> 0:10:10.960 Peter Petrush rock. You want to talk about extremes, water 0:10:11.360 --> 0:10:14.640 and a rock. One other theologian says it was the 0:10:14.720 --> 0:10:19.199 name Simon would be translated as flat nosed. Picture a 0:10:19.200 --> 0:10:22.559 guy who's constantly running into a wall, like that's Peter. 0:10:23.000 --> 0:10:26.200 He is extreme. This dude is all over the place. 0:10:26.520 --> 0:10:29.439 When Jesus says, Hey, the disciples, I need to wash 0:10:29.440 --> 0:10:32.040 your feet, He's like, wash all of me. Lord. He's 0:10:32.080 --> 0:10:34.000 the guy who's banging on the door. He's the guy 0:10:34.000 --> 0:10:36.960 who's cutting ears off. He is so extreme. And I 0:10:37.080 --> 0:10:42.400 relate to Peter because I am so extreme. My wife 0:10:42.400 --> 0:10:43.959 and i've been a part of the church since we started, 0:10:44.480 --> 0:10:47.000 one of the original eight families, and I remember about 0:10:47.000 --> 0:10:49.840 one and a half years into the ministry. We had 0:10:49.880 --> 0:10:52.600 two locations at that point, and we really wanted to 0:10:52.600 --> 0:10:54.840 be at another high school that was in the area. 0:10:55.160 --> 0:10:58.440 But when we started the church, the principal there didn't 0:10:58.520 --> 0:11:01.679 like churches. But we're sitting in a staff meeting and 0:11:01.720 --> 0:11:04.200 now we hear, oh, there's a new principle. I'm like, 0:11:04.240 --> 0:11:06.280 all right, I got my new assignment. I'm gonna go 0:11:06.320 --> 0:11:08.880 get us into that school. So I drive over to 0:11:08.920 --> 0:11:10.640 the school and I drive up. There's only a couple 0:11:10.600 --> 0:11:13.760 of cars there because it's a vacation day. Not dang it. 0:11:13.800 --> 0:11:15.120 But I walk up to the front door. I'm like, 0:11:15.760 --> 0:11:19.320 it's locked. I go to the next doors, go to 0:11:19.360 --> 0:11:21.760 the next doors. They start walking on the side of 0:11:21.760 --> 0:11:25.400 the school and start pushing on windows. I go to 0:11:25.440 --> 0:11:27.679 the back of the school and I see this long 0:11:27.760 --> 0:11:31.160 horizontal window above a dumpster. So i'd climb up on 0:11:31.200 --> 0:11:34.200 top of the dumpster and I push the window and 0:11:34.240 --> 0:11:37.240 it opens up, and I shimmy my way in through 0:11:37.280 --> 0:11:40.280 this long, narrow window above a dumpster. And I make 0:11:40.320 --> 0:11:43.480 my way up to the front office and I walk 0:11:43.559 --> 0:11:46.880 in and the woman goes, you're Larry Bride from Elevation, Like, 0:11:46.920 --> 0:11:48.640 how does you know me? You've been watching me on 0:11:48.760 --> 0:11:50.800 close camera. I'm expecting like the cops to bust in 0:11:50.840 --> 0:11:54.160 any moment. And she goes, my husband and I we've 0:11:54.160 --> 0:11:56.040 been coming and my kids have been coming for about 0:11:56.040 --> 0:12:00.120 eight weeks now to your Providence location. She said, we 0:12:00.640 --> 0:12:02.520 ended up there because we told her kids about two 0:12:02.559 --> 0:12:04.280 months ago that we were going to get divorced. Her 0:12:04.360 --> 0:12:07.240 husband and I and the kids just begg said, no, MOhm, 0:12:08.080 --> 0:12:10.160 we can't do this. How about we go to church. 0:12:11.440 --> 0:12:13.840 There's a church meeting at the high school we go 0:12:13.920 --> 0:12:16.240 to at Providence High School. How about we go check 0:12:16.280 --> 0:12:19.160 them out? And through tears, she starts to tell me 0:12:19.200 --> 0:12:22.360 how both of their daughters gave their life to Jesus 0:12:22.480 --> 0:12:24.840 and they were committed to making the marriage work and 0:12:25.040 --> 0:12:29.000 or staying in it. My goodness, what I'm telling some 0:12:29.080 --> 0:12:31.400 of you is you are way too passive about the 0:12:31.440 --> 0:12:34.640 promises of God. There is a blessing God has for you. 0:12:34.880 --> 0:12:37.040 It's on the other side of that door. But you 0:12:37.200 --> 0:12:40.559 keep letting. They tell you you can't have access to it. 0:12:41.400 --> 0:12:43.240 You keep walking up and say, well, it's not an 0:12:43.240 --> 0:12:47.839 open door. Kick the freaking door down. I'm telling you 0:12:47.880 --> 0:12:50.960 there's a blessing on the other side. Breaking through a window, 0:12:51.440 --> 0:12:57.840 bust through that wall, get your blessing. Come on. We 0:12:57.920 --> 0:13:02.960 got to be extreme for the things of God. But 0:13:03.440 --> 0:13:07.120 extreme is like a rubber band. However hard I pull 0:13:07.160 --> 0:13:09.800 it this way, it's got a rebound just as big 0:13:09.840 --> 0:13:12.520 to the other side. Because though how many of you 0:13:12.559 --> 0:13:17.760 are extreme? Be honest with me. We have extreme highs 0:13:18.720 --> 0:13:22.720 and we have extreme lows. Tho, wie, that's the crazy 0:13:22.760 --> 0:13:24.920 part about those of us that are extreme. Peter had 0:13:24.960 --> 0:13:28.840 those two because he's now just called you are the 0:13:28.960 --> 0:13:34.680 rock I'll build my church. The next couple verses, Jesus 0:13:34.760 --> 0:13:37.160 begins to say, hey, I'm going to go to the cross. 0:13:37.960 --> 0:13:40.920 This is my assignment. And here's what happens in verse 0:13:40.920 --> 0:13:43.880 twenty two of chapter sixteen, and Matthew Peter took him 0:13:43.880 --> 0:13:48.240 aside and he began to rebuke him. Never Lord, he said, 0:13:48.280 --> 0:13:51.280 this shall never happen to you. Jesus turned to Peter 0:13:51.360 --> 0:13:55.600 said get behind me, Satan. You're a stumbling block to me. 0:13:56.559 --> 0:13:58.320 How do you go from being the building block to 0:13:58.360 --> 0:14:03.880 being a stumbling block, Peter? Because we're extreme. In a 0:14:03.920 --> 0:14:06.559 matter of a couple verses, Peter would be this guy 0:14:06.600 --> 0:14:11.000 who'd say, Jesus, I'll never ever deny you. I'll never 0:14:11.080 --> 0:14:13.440 deny you. But when they start asking him, do you 0:14:13.480 --> 0:14:16.280 know you know Jesus, he starts denying him, and it 0:14:16.320 --> 0:14:20.920 says before the rooster code he wept bitterly. How do 0:14:20.960 --> 0:14:24.520 you go from wielding a sword to protect Jesus to 0:14:24.600 --> 0:14:28.440 weeping bitterly because you just denied him because we are 0:14:28.640 --> 0:14:33.680 extreme and we're between these two extremes, and it hurts 0:14:33.720 --> 0:14:35.640 and even me as I was preparing for this sermon. 0:14:35.960 --> 0:14:38.680 I was here yesterday, over here, going, oh Lord, this 0:14:38.800 --> 0:14:41.800 is awesome, this is exactly what they need. Thirty seconds later, 0:14:41.840 --> 0:14:43.360 I'm laying in the middle of it, going, Lord, I 0:14:43.360 --> 0:14:46.200 got nothing. Could we play a sermon from twenty twelve, 0:14:46.240 --> 0:14:49.720 a pastor's theme, And it's so much better Because I'm extreme. 0:14:51.200 --> 0:14:55.200 That's why I relate to Peter. And if you're extreme, 0:14:55.240 --> 0:14:57.680 maybe you could relate to this. But if I could 0:14:57.680 --> 0:15:00.520 really confess something, it's this. It's like, I give a 0:15:00.560 --> 0:15:04.640 lot of weight today. And I know most preachers will 0:15:04.640 --> 0:15:06.680 stand up and talk about well back in nineteen hundred 0:15:06.680 --> 0:15:11.000 and twenty two. Nope, this is a real struggle. As 0:15:11.000 --> 0:15:12.840 I stand before you today, I give a lot of 0:15:12.880 --> 0:15:16.440 weight today. If I could really be honest confession time, 0:15:16.560 --> 0:15:20.760 I'm a people pleaser. Are there any other people pleasers here? Oh? Please, 0:15:20.760 --> 0:15:23.400 don't leave me in this spitting thing by myself. Come on, please, 0:15:23.520 --> 0:15:26.000 Like I'm a people pleaser. My wife is the one 0:15:26.040 --> 0:15:27.880 who really helped me realize that we've been married for 0:15:27.960 --> 0:15:32.320 this year, be twenty two years. My wife's Jean, and 0:15:33.040 --> 0:15:35.480 she's the one who really helped me realize this and 0:15:35.600 --> 0:15:38.320 early on in the in our marriage, you're one of marriage. 0:15:38.360 --> 0:15:41.200 I'm you're one anniversary. I'm making like this amazing dinner. 0:15:41.360 --> 0:15:43.720 So I'm trying to score up marital points for marital blessings. 0:15:44.040 --> 0:15:49.760 And but we're at dinner. And for those of us 0:15:49.760 --> 0:15:53.200 that are extreme, it doesn't take very You can get 0:15:53.200 --> 0:15:56.760 from zero too hundred in a fight like that, cause 0:15:56.880 --> 0:15:59.000 you use Here's how you get to a fight really quickly. 0:15:59.040 --> 0:16:03.880 You use extreme language. You always, oh yeah, you never, 0:16:04.840 --> 0:16:08.880 Oh yeah you never, Oh yeah, you always. And Michael 0:16:08.920 --> 0:16:13.680 Buffer's like, let's get ready to rumble. Don't lie to me. 0:16:14.880 --> 0:16:17.440 Oh you don't fight in your marriage, Oh you have 0:16:17.520 --> 0:16:22.760 intense fellowship. No, we fought. And she she helped me 0:16:22.840 --> 0:16:26.640 realize this idea of I'm a people pleaser because she 0:16:26.680 --> 0:16:28.640 said something that really pierced me, says, why are you 0:16:28.680 --> 0:16:33.520 always angry? I'm like, I'm not, I'm not angry. Stop it. 0:16:34.920 --> 0:16:39.640 She was so completely riot, but I didn't know it. See, 0:16:39.680 --> 0:16:41.200 I can see parents. I want to talk to the 0:16:41.240 --> 0:16:44.160 dad specifically in here, we got to be really careful 0:16:44.200 --> 0:16:48.640 because we become the thermostat for our home. Does is 0:16:48.680 --> 0:16:53.680 your frustration determining the temperature of the entire house. Here's 0:16:53.720 --> 0:16:56.840 the language of extreme parenting. That's parenting out of frustration. Quit, 0:16:57.680 --> 0:17:02.360 don't stop. Not a very big vocabulary, because all I'm 0:17:02.400 --> 0:17:04.080 trying to do is to get you to change what 0:17:04.119 --> 0:17:07.680 you're doing because it's frustrating me. Stop doing that. Don't 0:17:07.800 --> 0:17:10.720 do that, Quit doing that. And what the kids certainly 0:17:11.280 --> 0:17:13.720 start to do over time is they will change their 0:17:13.720 --> 0:17:18.400 behavior to make dad happy because they don't know why 0:17:18.480 --> 0:17:22.000 Dad is frustrated. Because we're walking home in our insecurity 0:17:22.000 --> 0:17:24.880 and we punish our kids and we take it out 0:17:24.880 --> 0:17:27.440 on them, but in the absence of understanding what's causing it, 0:17:27.680 --> 0:17:32.159 you always assume it's you. So that kid is in 0:17:32.160 --> 0:17:35.360 a place of saying if maybe, if you were a 0:17:35.400 --> 0:17:40.320 better kid, they wouldn't be so angry, and you start 0:17:40.359 --> 0:17:43.439 to become the governor on the whole atmosphere. And now, 0:17:43.840 --> 0:17:47.920 rather than shaping their character, parenting is simply changing their behavior. 0:17:48.480 --> 0:17:51.879 And when they change their behavior, that's no longer frustrating me. 0:17:52.280 --> 0:17:56.800 We call them a good kid. But when you're acting 0:17:56.840 --> 0:17:59.879 in a way that your behavior is frustrating me. You 0:18:00.840 --> 0:18:03.600 bad kid. That was the home I grew up in. 0:18:04.680 --> 0:18:08.560 It's because there were safe emotions and safe feelings and 0:18:08.600 --> 0:18:12.720 save values, but most of them were very unsafe. I 0:18:12.720 --> 0:18:14.199 would tell it to you this way. So do you 0:18:14.280 --> 0:18:17.040 know that you have over two hundred unique and separate 0:18:17.040 --> 0:18:20.520 emotions and feelings? But if I were to ask you 0:18:20.680 --> 0:18:22.680 how many do you have? You might be able to 0:18:22.720 --> 0:18:27.199 list maybe ten, maybe for the overachievers, maybe fifteen. But 0:18:27.240 --> 0:18:29.720 do you know how many you actually live in? Two? 0:18:29.800 --> 0:18:39.560 Maybe three? Angry, hungry, and numb. That was me because 0:18:39.600 --> 0:18:42.440 I grew up in a world that said it's either 0:18:42.520 --> 0:18:47.840 all good or it's all bad. I was forced into 0:18:47.880 --> 0:18:50.359 the extremes, and I grew up in a home that 0:18:50.400 --> 0:18:53.760 I was simply trying to make dad happy by changing 0:18:53.840 --> 0:18:56.679 my behavior. It started as an eight year old, but 0:18:56.680 --> 0:19:00.280 it's very dysfunctional as a forty eight year old. I 0:19:00.359 --> 0:19:04.320 wonder how many of you have been reduced to this, 0:19:05.400 --> 0:19:09.840 living in the extremes, because what started as survival turns 0:19:09.880 --> 0:19:14.680 into the way you're living. And we talk about generational sin, 0:19:17.119 --> 0:19:22.439 that's generational conditioning. Let me illustrate it like this Dalen, 0:19:22.600 --> 0:19:25.440 my daughter here. Pull the pull that stand up and 0:19:25.600 --> 0:19:28.040 show me that this is my daughter Dalen. Come to you, honey, 0:19:28.080 --> 0:19:32.959 this is my daughter Dayen. Hey, she's amazing, she's an artist, 0:19:33.600 --> 0:19:37.919 she's incredible, and she's holding the ultra pack of crayons. 0:19:38.840 --> 0:19:42.520 It has two hundred colors inside. I always envied you 0:19:42.600 --> 0:19:44.320 kids when I came to school. I didn't get that pack. 0:19:44.400 --> 0:19:45.960 I got the pack with just a couple of crayons. 0:19:48.680 --> 0:19:51.760 But what I realized is the way I was raised 0:19:52.560 --> 0:19:56.120 is there were safe emotions and safe values. So when 0:19:56.119 --> 0:19:58.960 my wife said to me, why are you always angry? 0:19:59.520 --> 0:20:03.520 She was because anger was not safe or anger was 0:20:03.560 --> 0:20:08.560 the only safe emotion. Disappointment, fear, doubt, rejection, those were 0:20:08.560 --> 0:20:12.360 not safe. So I'm feeling all of these other emotions, 0:20:12.840 --> 0:20:17.919 but everything's expressed as anger. Why are you always angry? 0:20:18.440 --> 0:20:22.240 I'm not, but it's coming out as anger. You see 0:20:22.240 --> 0:20:24.880 what happens when we're people. Please, And what I would 0:20:24.960 --> 0:20:27.080 want you to know is that God created all of 0:20:27.119 --> 0:20:32.679 these vibrant colors for you to express yourself as a person. 0:20:32.840 --> 0:20:44.000 Are you operating according to conditioning or creation? And as 0:20:44.040 --> 0:20:48.480 a dad, how dysfunctional of it is? Me? To just 0:20:48.520 --> 0:20:57.040 say nope. That hurts me as a dad to know 0:20:57.080 --> 0:21:02.639 that my frustration becomes her. And what I got to 0:21:02.640 --> 0:21:05.280 do is the dad is to say no, that's it's 0:21:05.320 --> 0:21:08.480 not all good or it's all bad. Those are the 0:21:08.520 --> 0:21:12.520 extremes we jump to, isn't it? No, it's all of this. 0:21:12.600 --> 0:21:15.880 God wants you to have a little green yellow. That's 0:21:15.880 --> 0:21:26.200 a pretty color some neon carrit But when I come home, 0:21:27.280 --> 0:21:30.639 am I forcing her to live like this? Or am 0:21:30.680 --> 0:21:37.840 I helping her realize this? Keep drawing all of these 0:21:37.840 --> 0:21:41.520 colors God has given you. I apologize for the times 0:21:41.520 --> 0:21:44.520 that I punish you for my own insecurity. God is 0:21:44.560 --> 0:21:49.280 so much bigger than these extremes, all of this. Usually 0:21:49.720 --> 0:21:59.440 I love you. But when I live in a world 0:21:59.520 --> 0:22:03.119 that I make it all good are all bad? I 0:22:03.200 --> 0:22:05.199 know what side of the equation I generally end up on. 0:22:06.400 --> 0:22:09.960 So if Larry is either all good or he's all bad, 0:22:10.040 --> 0:22:12.280 I know I'm not all good, so by default I 0:22:12.359 --> 0:22:15.359 must be all bad. You see what happens. Saying is 0:22:15.359 --> 0:22:17.920 a people pleaser. I give everybody else the ability to 0:22:17.960 --> 0:22:20.840 determine my worth. So I'm looking at am I good 0:22:20.880 --> 0:22:23.320 based upon how you feel about me? Am I? Good 0:22:23.359 --> 0:22:26.240 based upon what they think about me. It didn't start 0:22:26.280 --> 0:22:28.600 when you're twenty nine. It started when you were nine. 0:22:29.880 --> 0:22:31.920 And what happens in those moments, what we will either 0:22:31.960 --> 0:22:34.280 do is we'll swing the pendulum to try to please them, 0:22:35.160 --> 0:22:37.679 to try to earn their approval. So I'm always in 0:22:37.720 --> 0:22:39.399 this place, so like, are you happy with me? Or 0:22:39.440 --> 0:22:41.480 we'll swing it to the other extreme, sage, screw you. 0:22:43.000 --> 0:22:44.679 I will reject it, and I will just do it 0:22:44.680 --> 0:22:48.000 to get noticed. Some of you have been rebelling your 0:22:48.000 --> 0:22:50.320 whole life, and it's a dysfunctional form of people pleasing. 0:22:52.080 --> 0:22:53.760 All of it comes from this place of wanting to 0:22:53.800 --> 0:22:57.240 be seen and to be known. But at the core 0:22:57.280 --> 0:23:00.200 of it, I started to believe that I never liked Larry. 0:23:01.400 --> 0:23:04.840 I mean, that's Larry's never good enough. So as I'm 0:23:04.840 --> 0:23:06.840 reading this text, I'm looking at it going, God, could 0:23:06.880 --> 0:23:11.240 you just give me a new name? I mean, you 0:23:11.320 --> 0:23:13.959 gave one to Simon. So I started call myself. I'm 0:23:14.000 --> 0:23:17.040 just gonna be Peter. Then, yeah, just call me Peter. 0:23:18.040 --> 0:23:21.560 And some of you had tried the new the new city, 0:23:22.480 --> 0:23:26.639 you know, the new relationship. You've got your third new 0:23:26.720 --> 0:23:31.439 last name in the last decade, and you realize you 0:23:31.520 --> 0:23:35.600 just keep waking up to the old you. And as 0:23:35.640 --> 0:23:37.439 I started to look at this, I'm like, Lord, just 0:23:37.480 --> 0:23:39.240 give me a new name. He said, Nope. God said, 0:23:39.280 --> 0:23:41.199 keep looking in my word and I'll reveal it to you. 0:23:43.560 --> 0:23:45.680 I said, Lord, I've heard that scripture preach so many times. 0:23:45.720 --> 0:23:48.399 I just need a new name. Said nope, keep looking 0:23:48.440 --> 0:23:52.199 in my word and I'll reveal it to you. And 0:23:52.240 --> 0:23:54.919 then I read this. It says, blessed her you, Simon's 0:23:54.960 --> 0:23:59.000 son of Jonah. For this was not revealed to you 0:23:59.760 --> 0:24:04.320 by flesh and blood, but by my Father in Heaven. 0:24:04.400 --> 0:24:06.159 And there was there. It jumped off the page at me. 0:24:06.680 --> 0:24:09.240 Simon had been given a new name, but the biggest 0:24:09.240 --> 0:24:14.080 thing he was given was a new nature. The extreme 0:24:14.160 --> 0:24:18.240 that's illustrated in this verse is the flesh in the spirit, 0:24:19.920 --> 0:24:21.719 because you and I, when we are born, we are 0:24:21.760 --> 0:24:26.280 born separated from God because of sin that began with 0:24:26.359 --> 0:24:28.440