1 00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:05,520 Speaker 1: Welcome to Katie's Crib, a production of Shonda land Audio 2 00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:09,840 Speaker 1: in partnership with I Heart Radio. I held Steph's hands 3 00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:13,239 Speaker 1: as she's getting an internal examination, and the doctors like, 4 00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:16,279 Speaker 1: every Wow, you have such a beautiful uterus, and I'm like, 5 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:28,040 Speaker 1: doesn't she? Hi, everybody, and welcome back to Katie's Crib. 6 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:33,199 Speaker 1: I really wanted to do an episode about egg freezing. 7 00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:36,920 Speaker 1: Egg freezing is this incredible method which gives you the 8 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:40,680 Speaker 1: ability to make any and all decisions in your future 9 00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:44,880 Speaker 1: about getting pregnant using a surrogate. I mean, just giving 10 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:49,560 Speaker 1: you tons and tons of options. So, guys, I don't 11 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:52,400 Speaker 1: even know how to begin, because this episode is two 12 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:56,320 Speaker 1: of my bestest, greatest, closest girlfriends of my entire history 13 00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:59,840 Speaker 1: of my life, Stephanie Black and Lindsay Graft. Stephanie Black 14 00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:02,360 Speaker 1: and I went to NY you together. We lived together 15 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,720 Speaker 1: in London. We moved out to l a around the 16 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:07,600 Speaker 1: same time. She is my soul sister. We started and 17 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:10,680 Speaker 1: run a theater company together. I am a theater company. 18 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:13,280 Speaker 1: And then Lindsay Kraft and I met in New York 19 00:01:13,319 --> 00:01:16,479 Speaker 1: City a hundred thousand years ago, just auditioning for commercials 20 00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:19,440 Speaker 1: and not making it, and guess what she introduced me 21 00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:25,119 Speaker 1: to my husband. We talked about egg freezing, when, where, how, why, 22 00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:29,800 Speaker 1: fertility specialists, consultations, what are they like, medications, what's the 23 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:33,039 Speaker 1: procedure like? We held hands and walked through it, and 24 00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:36,160 Speaker 1: I learned a lot about egg freezing just through them 25 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:38,560 Speaker 1: being their besties. So I wanted to have them on 26 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,039 Speaker 1: to talk about it so you know a little bit 27 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:43,199 Speaker 1: more about them personally. Lindsay Kraft is an actress, model, writer. 28 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:46,000 Speaker 1: She is known for playing Alison on Grace and Frankie. 29 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:51,160 Speaker 1: Lindsay's film credits are Epic Movie, Nostalgia, Futile, and Stupid Gesture, 30 00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:53,480 Speaker 1: and as for TV, she's also appeared on vat, Grays 31 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:56,960 Speaker 1: and Frankie, Two Broke Girls, so many others. Stephanie Black 32 00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:59,560 Speaker 1: is an actress, writer, director. She's a founding member and 33 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:01,480 Speaker 1: court a stick director of By In the Theater Company 34 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:04,320 Speaker 1: With Me. She's also an acting coaching on the faculty 35 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:08,359 Speaker 1: of John Rosenfeld Studios. She has appeared on This Is Us, Scandal, Graves, Anatomy, 36 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:12,600 Speaker 1: Private Practice, and so many freaking more. Lindsay, Stephanie, Welcome 37 00:02:12,639 --> 00:02:16,880 Speaker 1: to Katie's Crib. Thank you guys, My goodness, do I 38 00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:25,320 Speaker 1: love you both? This is huge. This is one of 39 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:30,919 Speaker 1: the biggest things for women starting in their late twenties 40 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:33,960 Speaker 1: to get real. And this was an option that like 41 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,600 Speaker 1: our parents didn't have and wasn't like a hot topic. 42 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:38,320 Speaker 1: I feel like, I feel like I never heard about 43 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:41,480 Speaker 1: this from like my mom or anything like that. Steph, 44 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:46,280 Speaker 1: When and why did you start to entertain the idea 45 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:50,640 Speaker 1: of freezing your eggs? I think when I turned thirty 46 00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:55,959 Speaker 1: my amazing oh b G. I n Drriana Walden, who's 47 00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:59,400 Speaker 1: like the Gift of Los Angeles. She asked if I 48 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:01,800 Speaker 1: had thought it out it or maybe I had asked 49 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:05,079 Speaker 1: about it. Um. I like to have all the information, 50 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:07,400 Speaker 1: so I was like, I want to know everything. We 51 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:11,560 Speaker 1: started that conversation and I kept, you know, putting it off, saying, well, 52 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:14,560 Speaker 1: I'll revisit it, you know, at thirty two, and then 53 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:17,120 Speaker 1: I'll revisited at thirty five. And I kept thinking, I 54 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:20,280 Speaker 1: will figure it out when when it's ready, or I'll 55 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,000 Speaker 1: meet the person and I won't need to And I 56 00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:24,440 Speaker 1: kept hoping, like I'm going to meet my prince Charmaine 57 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:26,799 Speaker 1: or whatever, and then I won't have to do it. 58 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:28,800 Speaker 1: And so I pushed it and pushed it and pushed it, 59 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:31,200 Speaker 1: and at thirty five is when I started really thinking 60 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:34,960 Speaker 1: about it. And then I met my now husband, and 61 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,040 Speaker 1: so I kind of put it to the back burner. 62 00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:39,960 Speaker 1: But about a year and a half into our relationship, 63 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:43,920 Speaker 1: we broke up for a hot second, and that is 64 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:46,440 Speaker 1: when I said, Okay, I have to do this right now, 65 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:50,360 Speaker 1: and UM put everything into motion and we actually ended 66 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:53,920 Speaker 1: up getting back together. And now you're fucking pregnant. Oh 67 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:56,400 Speaker 1: and now I'm pregnant and I haven't used the eggs. 68 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:59,360 Speaker 1: That's a whole other car look at back to that. 69 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:02,400 Speaker 1: But yeah, gonna get back to that. Okay, Lindsay Kraft, 70 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:06,200 Speaker 1: why did you decide to freeze your eggs? I feel 71 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,560 Speaker 1: like I kept hearing about it for a long time, 72 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:10,520 Speaker 1: and I remember the first time I heard about it, 73 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:14,680 Speaker 1: I was like who. Like, I was like, that seems 74 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:17,719 Speaker 1: like weird, and like for other people like that just 75 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:20,560 Speaker 1: doesn't seem like. It just seemed like, how have I 76 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:24,080 Speaker 1: gotten this old? I just seemed weird. And you know, 77 00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:26,680 Speaker 1: I never was one of those people who was like 78 00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:29,960 Speaker 1: I must have children. It just never seemed like something 79 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:34,920 Speaker 1: I was definitely gonna do. But at the same time options, 80 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:38,279 Speaker 1: baby options, I mean, And so I kept kind of 81 00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:40,760 Speaker 1: putting it off for for so long because but I 82 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:44,920 Speaker 1: would feel so much anxiety about it that I basically 83 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:48,080 Speaker 1: did it to just reduce the anxiety that I was feeling, 84 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:51,800 Speaker 1: which is fucking huge. I remember my O B was 85 00:04:51,839 --> 00:04:54,200 Speaker 1: definitely like, hey, do you want to consider freezing? How 86 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:56,200 Speaker 1: far off do you think you are from having a baby? 87 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:58,120 Speaker 1: And I was like, like really far. I was like, 88 00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:02,200 Speaker 1: I've not even entertaining the idea, like i just started 89 00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:04,560 Speaker 1: to be able to pay my bills from acting, like 90 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:06,600 Speaker 1: I don't. I have a lot of life. I don't 91 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,440 Speaker 1: want to do that right now. And she was like, Okay, 92 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:11,599 Speaker 1: I think you should consider freezing your eggs. And I 93 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:15,760 Speaker 1: did get that you get a blood test. I guess first, right, 94 00:05:16,279 --> 00:05:17,800 Speaker 1: you get a blood test. But the thing about this 95 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:20,440 Speaker 1: blood test because it tests your I want to say 96 00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:23,360 Speaker 1: this right MH level, which is basically your egg reserve. 97 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:25,560 Speaker 1: But the thing about this, and I remember because I 98 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:27,520 Speaker 1: kept asking, I'm like, should I just test that now? 99 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:30,240 Speaker 1: And every time she would say, you only want to 100 00:05:30,279 --> 00:05:32,400 Speaker 1: test it when you're ready to do it, because it 101 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:35,440 Speaker 1: only gives you information for like that day, and like 102 00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:38,920 Speaker 1: a week later, totally different number. Interesting because I remember 103 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:41,279 Speaker 1: getting that blood test and it coming back like your 104 00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:44,640 Speaker 1: eggs suck. And I was like, oh, ship, like this 105 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:47,520 Speaker 1: is really scary. But I ended up doing nothing about it, 106 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:50,840 Speaker 1: and and we ended up trying starting to try to 107 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:54,000 Speaker 1: have a family earlier than I had originally said. But Steph, 108 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:57,840 Speaker 1: how did you find a doctor to freeze your eggs with? 109 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:00,520 Speaker 1: Because it's not an O B right, No it's not. No, 110 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:04,760 Speaker 1: it's a it's a fertility specialist. Okay. So I started 111 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:06,839 Speaker 1: with my doctor. She gave me a bunch of pamphlets, 112 00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:08,479 Speaker 1: a bunch of places, and she had actually done it 113 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:11,200 Speaker 1: and had been very open about that with me, and 114 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:12,880 Speaker 1: so she said this is where I went. But she 115 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:15,040 Speaker 1: said this is potentially could be on the higher end 116 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:18,600 Speaker 1: cost wise, you know. I was all like, I'm very frugal. 117 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:21,400 Speaker 1: I was very much like, what's the least amount of 118 00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:24,200 Speaker 1: money I can spend to get the highest impact? Well, 119 00:06:24,279 --> 00:06:29,040 Speaker 1: it's insane. How much does egg freezing cost in the ballpark? Craft? 120 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:31,960 Speaker 1: Do you know? I think you remember? Because there's so 121 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:36,480 Speaker 1: many separate like additional prices and just like and at first, 122 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:40,520 Speaker 1: I like, my mom offered to chip in my partner 123 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,320 Speaker 1: offered to chip in, but I was kind of like, 124 00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:44,200 Speaker 1: I just kind of want to do this on my own. 125 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:47,440 Speaker 1: And yeah, I think also freezing the eggs and also 126 00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:49,240 Speaker 1: do you want to do embryos is like a whole 127 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:51,719 Speaker 1: other thing. I think it's from like twelve thousand to 128 00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:55,440 Speaker 1: twenty thousand or something, right, Yeah, twelve to fifteen is 129 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:58,919 Speaker 1: where I feel like it really sits in it it 130 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:02,000 Speaker 1: all honestly, it all to ends on like your ovaries 131 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:04,720 Speaker 1: and like how sleepy they are and like how how 132 00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:08,039 Speaker 1: what it takes to like wake up your follicles. Yeah, 133 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:11,120 Speaker 1: because some people have to do multiple retrievals, right, I 134 00:07:11,240 --> 00:07:14,040 Speaker 1: was like, there's no way I'm doing multiple retrievals. I 135 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:16,040 Speaker 1: was like, I'll get what I get and call it 136 00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:19,800 Speaker 1: a day. Like, no way. I was sort of just 137 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:22,680 Speaker 1: like expecting to get just a couple of eggs. I 138 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:24,640 Speaker 1: think I was pleased at the end of the day 139 00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:26,200 Speaker 1: what I what I had gotten, because I thought it 140 00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:28,400 Speaker 1: would be less. But I think I remember during the 141 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:30,480 Speaker 1: process in the beginning, I was kind of like, oh, well, 142 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:33,440 Speaker 1: there's not a lot there, Okay. I wish I had 143 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:36,560 Speaker 1: known earlier, but I didn't have the money to get 144 00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:38,360 Speaker 1: it then, So it's like this weird thing that I 145 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:42,160 Speaker 1: wish somehow. I know there are some places that are, 146 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:45,160 Speaker 1: you know, offering it through returns, but I just, you know, 147 00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:47,240 Speaker 1: because I would have been so much better off if 148 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:49,440 Speaker 1: I sort of just did it in my early twenties, 149 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:51,280 Speaker 1: because that's when you have the most eggs, and it's 150 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:53,320 Speaker 1: sort of like you're doing it. You're doing this really 151 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:55,960 Speaker 1: expensive thing later in your life because you're starting to 152 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,400 Speaker 1: feel like, oh now I feel like there's anyone who 153 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:00,160 Speaker 1: I talked to who has the money. I'm like, just 154 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:02,840 Speaker 1: do it. It's a couple of weeks of your life, 155 00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:04,680 Speaker 1: and then you're done, and then you don't have to 156 00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:07,320 Speaker 1: think about it. I mean, it's like a joke, but 157 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:09,360 Speaker 1: it's like the minute I met her, but like very 158 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:11,360 Speaker 1: soon when Sean and I became friends, she was like, 159 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:14,160 Speaker 1: what's your deal? Are you waiting at all? Actually, it 160 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:16,880 Speaker 1: doesn't even matter. You should just freeze your eggs right now, 161 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:20,200 Speaker 1: because the younger you are, the more chance you have 162 00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:23,240 Speaker 1: of getting more eggs, which gives you more options. And 163 00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:25,160 Speaker 1: like that's at the end of the day, what we're 164 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:28,760 Speaker 1: trying to give ourselves, right, like more options to make decisions. 165 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:32,880 Speaker 1: When we want to versus being have to. Basically, this 166 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:36,160 Speaker 1: is a very expensive insurance policy. You're paying a lot 167 00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:39,440 Speaker 1: of money for peace of mind for time, but it's 168 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:42,040 Speaker 1: so worth it. I mean I would have done this 169 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:46,840 Speaker 1: at thirty if I had really understood the emotional like 170 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,920 Speaker 1: toil that it would take on you. I did it 171 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:53,640 Speaker 1: when I was thirty eight and knowing that I was 172 00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:56,120 Speaker 1: going to get less, and like then talking to friends 173 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:58,760 Speaker 1: were younger who were like, oh, my level was like 174 00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:01,960 Speaker 1: two or something like some real crazy high number, and 175 00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:05,120 Speaker 1: I was like, mine was like right below two. It 176 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:07,080 Speaker 1: was like one point eight or something like your one 177 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:11,240 Speaker 1: point nine. So crafty. How did you pick your fertility doctor? 178 00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:14,360 Speaker 1: I think you recommended her to me, actually, Caroline and Alexander, 179 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:17,240 Speaker 1: who's amazing and was on this podcast and did a 180 00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:21,640 Speaker 1: whole IVF episode. I'm at the opposite of you, Stephanie 181 00:09:21,679 --> 00:09:23,480 Speaker 1: a little bit. I'm just kind of like, get me 182 00:09:23,559 --> 00:09:25,920 Speaker 1: to one. I just want to, Like I don't want to, 183 00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:28,000 Speaker 1: I don't want to know about options. I just want 184 00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:30,720 Speaker 1: to be directed to the best possible person. And I 185 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:33,160 Speaker 1: went to one woman and I sort of I was 186 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:36,120 Speaker 1: just like I think I had like a free consultation 187 00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:38,480 Speaker 1: because they're normally like three fifty dollars and you can 188 00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:41,080 Speaker 1: sort of like pass that on. Like there are like 189 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:44,760 Speaker 1: free certificates like everywhere. I feel like there are. I 190 00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:47,120 Speaker 1: paid like to hundred for each I went to three 191 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:50,200 Speaker 1: different places to meet them and I paid that each time. Yeah, 192 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:52,520 Speaker 1: that sucked, Carol, and I just felt a real connection 193 00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:55,120 Speaker 1: to and I started to think that, like this is 194 00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:58,800 Speaker 1: a little bit magic. I mean life is crazy, right, 195 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:00,640 Speaker 1: like the things that happened to make a life or 196 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:03,480 Speaker 1: so nuts. The connection I had with her, She just 197 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:06,760 Speaker 1: made me feel really good, was very honest, but also 198 00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:10,960 Speaker 1: like hopeful. Everyone's different, and I felt like that I 199 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:14,200 Speaker 1: had such a calm um experience with her that was 200 00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:18,360 Speaker 1: just like very loving and she was so wonderful. And 201 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,520 Speaker 1: then I heard like such great stories about her after 202 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:24,000 Speaker 1: through a bunch of other people, and I was like 203 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:29,160 Speaker 1: so pleased with the whole experience. That's awesome. So what questions? 204 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:32,040 Speaker 1: If you could both pick a question? Should a woman 205 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:35,800 Speaker 1: ask her doctor before egg freezing? Like when you're talking 206 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:39,160 Speaker 1: to your fertility person, is there something you're really happy 207 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:41,760 Speaker 1: you asked or something you wish you had asked and didn't. 208 00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:49,080 Speaker 1: I'll say this. I knew nothing about fertility, ovulation, the 209 00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:51,440 Speaker 1: whole process, and honestly, trying to get pregnant as well 210 00:10:51,559 --> 00:10:54,360 Speaker 1: was all quite shaming for me. I'm like to take 211 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:56,880 Speaker 1: a pill and forget it kind of person. And I 212 00:10:56,920 --> 00:11:00,400 Speaker 1: went on birth control at eighteen, and I had not 213 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:03,480 Speaker 1: gone off birth control until the first time literally ever, 214 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:06,080 Speaker 1: was when I froze my eggs. So that's do the math. 215 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:09,760 Speaker 1: I'm not great at math, so almost twenty years um 216 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:12,600 Speaker 1: and so I had never really learned. I had never 217 00:11:12,679 --> 00:11:16,680 Speaker 1: felt really cramps ovulation. I didn't. I just didn't understand 218 00:11:16,679 --> 00:11:18,680 Speaker 1: any of it. And so when I went in and 219 00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:21,199 Speaker 1: I think, I think Dr Peck, Allison Peck is who 220 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:24,480 Speaker 1: I went to at hr C Fertility, and you came 221 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:26,959 Speaker 1: with me to that appointment. Oh my god, I'll never 222 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:30,520 Speaker 1: forget it. I held Steph's hands as she's getting an 223 00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:34,680 Speaker 1: internal examination, and I'm so proud. The doctor's like, wow, 224 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:37,480 Speaker 1: you have such a beautiful uterus, and I'm like, doesn't 225 00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:41,440 Speaker 1: she did say that? Are I? In my head, the 226 00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:44,480 Speaker 1: story goes that I was holding your hand and I 227 00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:48,160 Speaker 1: your husband, and who and me have seen the insides 228 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:51,480 Speaker 1: of your uterus very close up in an ultrasound. What 229 00:11:51,559 --> 00:11:54,920 Speaker 1: I remember, though, is her telling me that she thinks 230 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:58,520 Speaker 1: she sees my eggs because they were all asleep essentially, 231 00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:00,640 Speaker 1: and she's like, you have suppressed over because you've been 232 00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:03,520 Speaker 1: on birth control for you know, almost twenty years. And 233 00:12:03,559 --> 00:12:06,720 Speaker 1: I remember specifically asking my doctor from thirty to thirty 234 00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:09,120 Speaker 1: eight every time I'm like, is being on birth control 235 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:11,760 Speaker 1: going to affect my ability to get pregnant or freeze eggs? 236 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,079 Speaker 1: And she kept saying no, no, no, and it's not. 237 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,840 Speaker 1: It's it's true that it doesn't, but it makes it harder. 238 00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:19,280 Speaker 1: It means you have to pump yourself with more drugs, 239 00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:22,280 Speaker 1: which makes it more expensive. But you couldn't really tell 240 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:25,040 Speaker 1: how many eggs I had in each ovary that would 241 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:28,640 Speaker 1: potentially wake up. But all that stuff I knew nothing about. 242 00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:31,040 Speaker 1: So you wish you had known that. I wish I 243 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:33,080 Speaker 1: would have known that, because I would have gone off 244 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,120 Speaker 1: of it for a bit. The good thing about being 245 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:37,720 Speaker 1: on birth control was that I was able to say, 246 00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:39,640 Speaker 1: today's the day I want to do the eggs, like 247 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:43,600 Speaker 1: start the process, and my cycle has already syncd up 248 00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:45,640 Speaker 1: because I'm on birth control. And normally they put you 249 00:12:45,679 --> 00:12:47,960 Speaker 1: on birth control to get that start date. So I 250 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:51,079 Speaker 1: was basically like, I have a four week window here. 251 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,280 Speaker 1: I have to do it here or it can't happen. 252 00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:55,640 Speaker 1: And I was able to do it. I had no 253 00:12:55,679 --> 00:12:57,800 Speaker 1: information about this. I knew nothing, Like we asked her 254 00:12:57,840 --> 00:13:00,240 Speaker 1: to draw, like, she drew me a map of a 255 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:04,400 Speaker 1: thirty day cycle and how ovulation works and fertility, and 256 00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:08,400 Speaker 1: I felt so stupid, but I I liked her because 257 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:11,880 Speaker 1: she was no bullshit. She wore a Louis Vuitton Fannie 258 00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:13,880 Speaker 1: pack and she reminded me of kind of the mean 259 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,440 Speaker 1: girls at summer camp, and I trusted that for some reason. 260 00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:18,880 Speaker 1: And I was like, I was like, I know her, 261 00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:23,680 Speaker 1: like I knew her craft. What do you wish you 262 00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:27,079 Speaker 1: had asked or did ask that you were happy that 263 00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:30,040 Speaker 1: you got the information? You know, I was really confused 264 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:33,480 Speaker 1: about whether or not to do at freezing my eggs 265 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:36,679 Speaker 1: or freezing embryos. So for those people, you can either 266 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:39,480 Speaker 1: freeze your eggs by themselves, or you freeze your egg 267 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:42,520 Speaker 1: mixed in the petrie dish with the sperm of your 268 00:13:42,559 --> 00:13:46,200 Speaker 1: donor or your partner or whatever. Supposedly, embryos have a 269 00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:51,079 Speaker 1: better chance of being able to impregnate you when you 270 00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:54,880 Speaker 1: use them, but you have to really like that person 271 00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:58,960 Speaker 1: or it's sort of that you know the next step already. 272 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:02,120 Speaker 1: That's really what it is. So I was like, I 273 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:05,080 Speaker 1: think that was my biggest truggle. But I realized for me, 274 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:08,199 Speaker 1: why I wanted to do it was for my independence, 275 00:14:08,679 --> 00:14:11,000 Speaker 1: and I didn't have enough eggs to be like, I'm 276 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:13,920 Speaker 1: going to do some embryos and some eggs. Otherwise it 277 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,440 Speaker 1: just would have been like put me in the same 278 00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:18,040 Speaker 1: corner A been in. And by the way, I know 279 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:21,000 Speaker 1: someone that only froze embryos and then was no longer 280 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:24,600 Speaker 1: with that person and did not use them. So it's like, 281 00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:28,320 Speaker 1: it's also pretty expensive to do the embryos, Like that's 282 00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:31,160 Speaker 1: an additional almost ten grand I think you do it 283 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:33,480 Speaker 1: so you have to. It's a financial commitment, and it's 284 00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:37,120 Speaker 1: a commitment. I mean, Alex and I were not really together. 285 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,040 Speaker 1: We were kind of starting to get back together once 286 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:42,200 Speaker 1: I started the process, but so embryos wasn't was not 287 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,600 Speaker 1: even on the table because part of what this did 288 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,680 Speaker 1: for us was it kind of saved our relationship and 289 00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:48,760 Speaker 1: gave us time we weren't ready to commit to that. 290 00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:51,400 Speaker 1: It's so funny because I remember Steph calling you, and 291 00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:54,160 Speaker 1: you gave me a ton of information. I knew nothing 292 00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:57,080 Speaker 1: like i'd like the neighbors of like doesn't I don't 293 00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:58,840 Speaker 1: like like know everything. I'm just kind of just like 294 00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:01,600 Speaker 1: wanted this, like someone to hold my hand through just 295 00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:04,200 Speaker 1: all of it. I'm remembering now, like when you talked 296 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:07,480 Speaker 1: about her ovaries that's over how beautiful they were. I 297 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:10,960 Speaker 1: have literally blocked all of that out. That was the 298 00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:13,520 Speaker 1: worst part of going in and I'm checking to see 299 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:16,200 Speaker 1: how many eggs or what was going on that day. 300 00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:19,800 Speaker 1: There were some nurses who were not as gentle as others, 301 00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:22,040 Speaker 1: and I found that. I remember being like ow. I 302 00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:26,240 Speaker 1: was like ow ow it, like what what are you? 303 00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:28,560 Speaker 1: I'm like that hurts me, you know, But well, they're 304 00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:32,320 Speaker 1: poking you. I mean they really are, Yeah, because they 305 00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:35,920 Speaker 1: enter your vagininess so many times. Like it's like basically 306 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:37,880 Speaker 1: going to the kind of college was every single day 307 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:42,000 Speaker 1: to have a whatever that's called. Yeah, it's basically that 308 00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:45,120 Speaker 1: times a hundred. Okay, it's like every other day they're 309 00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:48,720 Speaker 1: doing that. Is that true? Yeah? Once you start the 310 00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:51,120 Speaker 1: shots every other day you have to go in and 311 00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:53,840 Speaker 1: they check them to see how they're growing. What is it? 312 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,440 Speaker 1: The thing that put put a condom on it. Yeah. 313 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:59,320 Speaker 1: Oh so for people listening, f y I, it's like 314 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:02,160 Speaker 1: a dil Joe. They put a condom on it and 315 00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:05,280 Speaker 1: a lot of lube. I'm just being descript so that 316 00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:08,080 Speaker 1: in case you're considering doing this, Like for me, I 317 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:10,280 Speaker 1: don't think that's a big deal. But for me, the 318 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:13,160 Speaker 1: speculum is like I hate a speculum, but I don't 319 00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:15,360 Speaker 1: mind the internal dildo thing. I mean, how had it 320 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:16,760 Speaker 1: goes to show you? I mean, I don't know what 321 00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:19,600 Speaker 1: that means about me. It's quite large. I don't feel 322 00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:24,400 Speaker 1: like it was. But ha ha, you're welcome, Adam. I 323 00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:27,520 Speaker 1: remember thinking like, okay, just like try to enjoy this, 324 00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:30,440 Speaker 1: like try what else am I going to do here? 325 00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:33,640 Speaker 1: But because I would just like just like taking depressed, 326 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:36,560 Speaker 1: I literally have blocked this out. I'm just remembering it 327 00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:39,280 Speaker 1: now and now like a perhaps there's nothing. I'm like, 328 00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:51,200 Speaker 1: oh that's it. So egg freezing. We're saying around twelve 329 00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:53,640 Speaker 1: to fifteen thousand dollars, do you guys know, are there 330 00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:56,600 Speaker 1: any ways that these costs can be reduced? Like thinking 331 00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:59,840 Speaker 1: about the storage fees afterwards? Are there any options where 332 00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:04,160 Speaker 1: you save money? The consultation alone is like three there 333 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,080 Speaker 1: there is for the drugs. You can get discounts for 334 00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:09,440 Speaker 1: the drugs. Lady. That's who I got it from. So 335 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:11,760 Speaker 1: people listening go to your ob and say, I really 336 00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:13,840 Speaker 1: want to get consultations on egg freezing. Is there any 337 00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:16,800 Speaker 1: which way, shape or form to get this lest in cost? 338 00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:19,280 Speaker 1: Because I don't think you can submit even the consultation 339 00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:21,800 Speaker 1: to insurance. I don't know. No, none of none of 340 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:25,720 Speaker 1: it's covered. But the at most places these I want 341 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:27,800 Speaker 1: to say the billing department, but I'm not sure exactly 342 00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:29,600 Speaker 1: what they're. The person is called. You sit down when 343 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:32,119 Speaker 1: you're ready to do it, they go over the costs 344 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:34,680 Speaker 1: with you. They break it down and there's two things 345 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:37,040 Speaker 1: to look for. One is to look for a place 346 00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:40,720 Speaker 1: that has a year of storage included because that's a 347 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:42,800 Speaker 1: good deal. And they always give you an option of 348 00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:46,159 Speaker 1: like four years or like seven years or something like 349 00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:48,640 Speaker 1: that for your storage to like buy the bundle. Also, 350 00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:50,200 Speaker 1: they're always going to try to get you to buy 351 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:52,679 Speaker 1: two rounds because it is cheaper if you do that, 352 00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:56,000 Speaker 1: but like you know that on yourself, it's up to you. Yeah, 353 00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:59,600 Speaker 1: I don't know. But then there's like care credits, like 354 00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:02,080 Speaker 1: an exam ample of it. But there's places that you 355 00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:06,240 Speaker 1: can submit your personal financial information too and they will 356 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:09,959 Speaker 1: give you basically qualify based on your income level for 357 00:18:10,119 --> 00:18:12,480 Speaker 1: a discount, and it's usually pretty drastic. It's like a 358 00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:15,199 Speaker 1: thirty or fifty discount on the drugs. It does not 359 00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:19,280 Speaker 1: affect the package deal that you pay at that fertility, 360 00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:22,760 Speaker 1: that doctor, and that clinic that's set and they don't 361 00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:26,439 Speaker 1: usually do discounts and they don't do um payment plans. 362 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:28,520 Speaker 1: Usually have to like pay for it look like a 363 00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:31,920 Speaker 1: credit card or cash. So it was great, like I say, 364 00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:33,760 Speaker 1: you know, I had this discount, so I would get 365 00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:36,000 Speaker 1: this discount on the drugs. But again, because I had 366 00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:40,399 Speaker 1: these like sleepy suppressed ovaries, I had to do extra meds, 367 00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:43,439 Speaker 1: which then all the money I had originally saved up 368 00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:45,240 Speaker 1: the cost, so mine was more expensive in the end 369 00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:47,640 Speaker 1: because of all the drugs I had to take. They 370 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:51,200 Speaker 1: they suggested like this thing that's like basically a facial 371 00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:53,440 Speaker 1: for your vagina. Do you guys know what I'm talking about? 372 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,960 Speaker 1: Like a date? What do you mean? I think there 373 00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:59,000 Speaker 1: is a thing like where people go and it's like 374 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:02,200 Speaker 1: they just space that we make your ritna really great. 375 00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:05,040 Speaker 1: You know what I need to have a specialist on 376 00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:08,880 Speaker 1: in this department to be honest. Well, I remember Caroline 377 00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:10,960 Speaker 1: said to me, She's like, well, you know, because it's 378 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,639 Speaker 1: been like so invasive, like we want to give that 379 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:19,760 Speaker 1: to you complimentary. It's something that's I want to say, like, wow, Crafty, 380 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:24,760 Speaker 1: can you take us through your egg retrieval process if 381 00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:27,040 Speaker 1: you can remember any of it that you didn't black out? 382 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,720 Speaker 1: You know the reason I ultimately did it. I remember 383 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,359 Speaker 1: I was working on Grays and Frankie and I was 384 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:37,080 Speaker 1: talking to June Diane Ray feel about it, and she goes, 385 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:42,000 Speaker 1: just do it now, lindsay do it now. And for 386 00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:45,080 Speaker 1: some reason, you guys know June, Yeah, I would listen 387 00:19:45,119 --> 00:19:47,359 Speaker 1: to her. Yeah, he listened to June when she tells 388 00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:50,960 Speaker 1: because she's like, you're just going to get older tomorrow. 389 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,320 Speaker 1: For some reason, the way that she kind of painted it, 390 00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:55,160 Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, I'm gonna do it. I wanna 391 00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:57,360 Speaker 1: do it. I remember I ended up having to do 392 00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:59,879 Speaker 1: it while I was working like on a show that 393 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,439 Speaker 1: I didn't know that I had booked, you know, And 394 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:04,280 Speaker 1: so it's kind of like one of those situations. I 395 00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:08,520 Speaker 1: remember I found out that I had um low thyroid. 396 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:12,600 Speaker 1: My thyroid was low, which is like kind of the 397 00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:15,439 Speaker 1: opposite what you would think because I wasn't like gaining 398 00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:17,919 Speaker 1: weight or anything. It felt like it was concerning, you know, 399 00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:20,240 Speaker 1: and I was like all upset. And so then I 400 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:22,720 Speaker 1: had to take medication for like a month to get 401 00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:25,160 Speaker 1: it back to just kind of get it ready. Oh 402 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:28,440 Speaker 1: my god, I don't know about this. What a pain 403 00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:30,919 Speaker 1: in the ask. Yeah, I don't think it's that big 404 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:32,640 Speaker 1: of a deal. But it's like you have to sort 405 00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:34,560 Speaker 1: of make sure the thyroid is in good place so 406 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,600 Speaker 1: that the eggs are as good as it can possibly be. 407 00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:40,960 Speaker 1: And then like essentially you're getting so much information and 408 00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:44,120 Speaker 1: they're like, Okay, you need to take this pills, this vitamin, 409 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:46,720 Speaker 1: you need to start doing all these different things. And 410 00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:49,280 Speaker 1: I was like, why can't we get a basket. I 411 00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:52,240 Speaker 1: was like going to Whole Foods, Erawan, like CBS, like 412 00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:54,600 Speaker 1: just all over place looking for these like specific drugs 413 00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:57,879 Speaker 1: that and it's so specific. The vitamin D has to 414 00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:00,360 Speaker 1: be this kind of thing and take this kind of pill. 415 00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:02,920 Speaker 1: This was all for you to have like the best 416 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,520 Speaker 1: quality of egg and that's why they wanted you to 417 00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:09,920 Speaker 1: take certain vitamins and supplement to prepare. Yeah, I've never 418 00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:12,320 Speaker 1: taken a vitamin in my life, like honestly, like I've 419 00:21:12,359 --> 00:21:16,159 Speaker 1: never like maybe the Flintstone vitamin is like the vitamin 420 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:18,920 Speaker 1: I've taken in my life that prep though, those vitamins 421 00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:22,719 Speaker 1: were I was nauseous every day. I was taking ten vitamins. 422 00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:26,320 Speaker 1: I got this really intricate list from the doctor I 423 00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:28,399 Speaker 1: didn't end up using because she was a little bit 424 00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:30,680 Speaker 1: more expensive, but she was awesome. She gave me a 425 00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:32,600 Speaker 1: really specific list and I followed it to a t. 426 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:35,720 Speaker 1: And I was just nauseous all day long because all 427 00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:38,920 Speaker 1: that so many vitamins. It's just like, I know, it's 428 00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:40,720 Speaker 1: so it's so much fun, and I've got obsessed with 429 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,879 Speaker 1: also be doing exactly what they said because I was like, 430 00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:44,520 Speaker 1: I don't want to funk this up. But at the 431 00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:47,359 Speaker 1: same time, like they're all giving you sort of different lists. 432 00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:49,920 Speaker 1: You know that they're slightly different, Like some doctors feel 433 00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:52,120 Speaker 1: that this is more important, but I believe that it's 434 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:54,720 Speaker 1: like each woman, it's probably different, And I find that 435 00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:56,919 Speaker 1: I think the doctors just give the general lists to 436 00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,480 Speaker 1: each of their patients. You know, I have a real 437 00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:01,600 Speaker 1: problem with apart because I don't even know if any 438 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:05,439 Speaker 1: of that stuff matters. And it's expensive, like vitamins are 439 00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:07,439 Speaker 1: like thirty bucks or like a bottle, I mean like 440 00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:10,440 Speaker 1: a really good one, like it's it's not cheap. Oh, 441 00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:13,920 Speaker 1: these were like sevent a bottle. So then you go 442 00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:18,040 Speaker 1: to the doctor and they start you on you pick 443 00:22:18,119 --> 00:22:21,240 Speaker 1: up the drugs, right, is that like insane? Like what 444 00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:23,439 Speaker 1: the funk is that you don't go to the doctor 445 00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:25,040 Speaker 1: to get them? You have to go to a special 446 00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:29,440 Speaker 1: pharmacy and like that's a whole other they you leave 447 00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:32,720 Speaker 1: the pharmacy, Lindy, did you have like these huge crates, 448 00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:35,520 Speaker 1: huge crates with like ice packs in them that you 449 00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:39,040 Speaker 1: have to take home? Are you kidding? I had no idea. 450 00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:44,080 Speaker 1: It's insane. The first one was like a delivery. It is. Honestly, 451 00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:48,360 Speaker 1: you have to be so well educated to perform what 452 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:51,400 Speaker 1: they're expecting you to perform. You have to be a mixologist, 453 00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:55,199 Speaker 1: a scientist. I mean, thank god I had Andrew like 454 00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:58,840 Speaker 1: at the time, like it is so hard, and you're thinking, 455 00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:02,160 Speaker 1: if I miss this up, everything goes to ship. If 456 00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:04,359 Speaker 1: you if you spill one of these liquid things, you're 457 00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:07,840 Speaker 1: pretty you're you're literally why are you doing that? I 458 00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:11,119 Speaker 1: don't understand, Well, you can go to the office every day, 459 00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:12,439 Speaker 1: which is what I was going to do. But I 460 00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:14,920 Speaker 1: was like, it's I think it's a hundred dollars extra 461 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:16,959 Speaker 1: every day to go and you have to go for 462 00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:20,160 Speaker 1: fourteen days. I mean, it's a crazy there's all these 463 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:23,440 Speaker 1: extra expenses. And then you sort of realize, oh, it's doable. 464 00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:25,320 Speaker 1: You know how sometimes when the first time you hear 465 00:23:25,359 --> 00:23:28,600 Speaker 1: about something, the first time, it's awful and scary and confusing, 466 00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:30,879 Speaker 1: and you're gonna suck it up. And then each time, 467 00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:32,399 Speaker 1: because you have to do it for fourteen days in 468 00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:34,760 Speaker 1: a row or however long your assignment is, by the 469 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:36,520 Speaker 1: end you're like, oh, I can't believe I was even 470 00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:38,560 Speaker 1: freaked out about this. It's not that bad. Yeah, But 471 00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:40,800 Speaker 1: then you do. You don't know how casual you can 472 00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:43,800 Speaker 1: be about Like I messed up, I spilled something. I remember, 473 00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:45,600 Speaker 1: step you told me that you had still something. You've 474 00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:49,720 Speaker 1: freaked out. I remember this, Steph you crying. I had 475 00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:54,879 Speaker 1: the biggest panic, like total meltdown, because so you have 476 00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:57,040 Speaker 1: to do it at the same time every day, and 477 00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:59,160 Speaker 1: the day I was starting, I was teaching, I didn't 478 00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:00,680 Speaker 1: get home till eleven a talk, so it had to 479 00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:03,359 Speaker 1: be at eleven o'clock, which mean at eleven pm every night. 480 00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:05,080 Speaker 1: I had to do this, which is why I couldn't 481 00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:06,720 Speaker 1: go the doctor. So I had to do it. They 482 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:09,919 Speaker 1: give you videos. I've never used a syringe in my life. 483 00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:12,080 Speaker 1: I was really freaked out about it. And I did 484 00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:15,359 Speaker 1: the first one and Alex was with me and I 485 00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:20,320 Speaker 1: spilled it and I lost it, screaming, hysterical, crying. I 486 00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:22,760 Speaker 1: was like, this is never gonna work. What am I 487 00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:24,680 Speaker 1: doing it? I shouldn't even be a mother. This is 488 00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:28,679 Speaker 1: like I went down the I mean the fucking I 489 00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:33,760 Speaker 1: spiral of just lost my ship. And he's just looking 490 00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:37,200 Speaker 1: at me like you're fucking did save And he's like, okay, 491 00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:39,720 Speaker 1: I'll do. And he watched the video and he mixed 492 00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:42,639 Speaker 1: it and then like shot at it and you're putting 493 00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:45,560 Speaker 1: it into a syringe and then you put the shot 494 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:48,440 Speaker 1: into your body every day for fourteen days, three times 495 00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:51,400 Speaker 1: a day or something. I thought there were multiple times 496 00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:53,720 Speaker 1: a day. I think no, I think it's just once. 497 00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:55,800 Speaker 1: For me, it was just once a day, But then 498 00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:57,679 Speaker 1: they started adding so that first it was just one 499 00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:00,679 Speaker 1: that's preloaded, so you just kind of like that sucker 500 00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:04,240 Speaker 1: in and two seconds. And for people who don't have someone, like, 501 00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:06,480 Speaker 1: did you guys do the shot yourself or did you 502 00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:09,480 Speaker 1: have your significant others do the shots? At some point 503 00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:11,880 Speaker 1: I was doing it by myself. Say, but yes, if 504 00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:14,040 Speaker 1: I didn't have a person like it would have been 505 00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:16,760 Speaker 1: really really upsetting and heart I've been that for other 506 00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:18,520 Speaker 1: people though, Like I've had a friend who had to 507 00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:21,399 Speaker 1: do shots for this and I went over and helped. 508 00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:24,200 Speaker 1: You need to have someone, Yeah, you need to have 509 00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:26,000 Speaker 1: a friend, but you could also do it on your own, 510 00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:29,679 Speaker 1: Like it is doable. Even the video is wrong, like 511 00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:31,600 Speaker 1: they need to update the videos. I just remember seeing 512 00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:33,879 Speaker 1: this woman who had like a French manicure and her 513 00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:36,520 Speaker 1: nail for so long and I was like, Andrew ever 514 00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:39,520 Speaker 1: rounded five times. I'm like, they're skipping a step. Why 515 00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:41,480 Speaker 1: is this not in here? But like I just like 516 00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:44,439 Speaker 1: to do everything exactly right, you know, and and I couldn't. 517 00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:45,919 Speaker 1: I didn't know how to do that, And sometimes you 518 00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:47,800 Speaker 1: just don't know if it's right. I want to see 519 00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:50,560 Speaker 1: a video that says, hey, if you trap it, it's okay. 520 00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:54,159 Speaker 1: You should get paid. You should pitch yourself to these 521 00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:57,800 Speaker 1: fucking pharmaceutical companies. And make a killing on what these 522 00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:09,399 Speaker 1: commercials should be. I'm just saying, Okay, so you shoot 523 00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:12,080 Speaker 1: yourself up with this ship. You do all the vitamins 524 00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:17,000 Speaker 1: to prep crafty fixes her thyroid levels. You pick up 525 00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:20,720 Speaker 1: trays of drugs and you mix them yourself and you 526 00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:23,560 Speaker 1: shoot them into yourself for a while, and you're going 527 00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:26,359 Speaker 1: to the doctor every other day, every other day, and 528 00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:29,560 Speaker 1: then they're telling me we need more time. So what 529 00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:32,639 Speaker 1: I was like counting them on down the days, almost 530 00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:34,400 Speaker 1: like if you're on a cleanse and you're like, when 531 00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:36,560 Speaker 1: what is this going to be over? Every day? Feels 532 00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:38,720 Speaker 1: like it's just like the cleanse, the clans, the cleanse, 533 00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:41,000 Speaker 1: but this is like a thousand times worse, Like when 534 00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:42,800 Speaker 1: is this plea is gonna be over? And then I 535 00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:45,040 Speaker 1: felt like they just kept adding days. I was like, No, 536 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:47,600 Speaker 1: what was supposed to be twelve days? What are they 537 00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:50,880 Speaker 1: waiting for for your eggs to like have sprouted? They're 538 00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:52,879 Speaker 1: waiting for the eggs to be a certain size so 539 00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:56,639 Speaker 1: they can retrieve them. How steph pumping yourself up with 540 00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:59,400 Speaker 1: this stuff? Tell me about how you felt, where you bloated, 541 00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:01,600 Speaker 1: where you not just were you tired? Were you able 542 00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:06,440 Speaker 1: to work? Tell me how you felt. Up until day nine, 543 00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:09,359 Speaker 1: I didn't really feel anything, and then I got a 544 00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:12,240 Speaker 1: little bloated, and then I started to I started to 545 00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:13,960 Speaker 1: get like the munchies a lot. I was like, oh, 546 00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:15,720 Speaker 1: I'm feeling like hungry. I felt like I was eating 547 00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:18,000 Speaker 1: like a pregnant woman, which was weird. But then when 548 00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:20,040 Speaker 1: I was in those last like three days or so, 549 00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:22,919 Speaker 1: you start to feel your ovaries and like with every 550 00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:26,400 Speaker 1: step I would take, you could just feel this over 551 00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:28,760 Speaker 1: like weighing you down on either side, like I just could. 552 00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:32,159 Speaker 1: It was very strange sensation. And you're not allowed to 553 00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:34,880 Speaker 1: work out right because your ovary could like flip. Yeah, 554 00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:37,080 Speaker 1: you can't. Your ovaries are like the way they describe 555 00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:39,040 Speaker 1: it is kind of like, um, they say, it's like 556 00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:42,600 Speaker 1: having two basketballs hanging by a string. That's how because 557 00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:44,840 Speaker 1: they gets so big and so delicate. So if you 558 00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:47,320 Speaker 1: were to work out and do too much, they could 559 00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:49,399 Speaker 1: flip and then your eggs fall out and they end 560 00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:51,960 Speaker 1: up and that's very bad, right, So you have to 561 00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:54,840 Speaker 1: be very like just those two weeks, you have to 562 00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:57,920 Speaker 1: be like pretty chill. Craft. How did you feel from 563 00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:00,440 Speaker 1: all the hormones and shooting up in the I put 564 00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:03,119 Speaker 1: my um my shots in my stomach, and I just 565 00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:06,720 Speaker 1: remember feeling really disploated by that. It was very, very 566 00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:09,560 Speaker 1: uncomfortable for me, Like that was why, just the process 567 00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:12,439 Speaker 1: of that part. I don't I don't like shooting anything 568 00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:14,959 Speaker 1: in my body. I don't like extra anything. You know, 569 00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:19,720 Speaker 1: Now the day has arrived, they finally have said the 570 00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:24,320 Speaker 1: eggs are big enough, it's time to retrieve. We're here, Steph. 571 00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:27,200 Speaker 1: Tell me, Like, you go to the doctor's office, they 572 00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:29,880 Speaker 1: put you into twilight or something. The one I went 573 00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:32,680 Speaker 1: to was in the same buildings as the doctor's office 574 00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:35,400 Speaker 1: I had gone to, So I went there. They say, 575 00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:37,560 Speaker 1: definitely have someone take you home, so Alex came with me. 576 00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:41,880 Speaker 1: I went in. They check and make sure that you know, 577 00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:45,320 Speaker 1: you're everything's ready, and then you I can't remember if 578 00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:48,760 Speaker 1: they did like an internal exam or something, but like 579 00:28:48,840 --> 00:28:50,360 Speaker 1: it's like in the morning and you can't you know, 580 00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:53,600 Speaker 1: eat before and then they you know, get you prepped 581 00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:55,560 Speaker 1: with the your I V and all that, because like 582 00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:57,440 Speaker 1: they put you like it's not twilight, like you're out, 583 00:28:57,440 --> 00:29:00,240 Speaker 1: you're fully under. But basically you go under and they're 584 00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:02,360 Speaker 1: like count to five or whatever, and then you're out. 585 00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:05,160 Speaker 1: It's like a little vacuum kind of thing. They go 586 00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:09,320 Speaker 1: in through your vagina and they just like suck the 587 00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:13,000 Speaker 1: eggs out. Wow, And how long does the whole thing last? 588 00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:16,320 Speaker 1: Like how long are you out? For? Forty minutes? I think, 589 00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:18,920 Speaker 1: But it's like a factory. That's what I remember, like 590 00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:21,280 Speaker 1: seeing it's like so many people going in for this, 591 00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:25,200 Speaker 1: get out of here what like. I just remember like 592 00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:26,880 Speaker 1: look like it felt like a move. It felt like 593 00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:30,200 Speaker 1: defending your life to me. I remember thinking, like everyone's 594 00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:33,400 Speaker 1: doing this, everyone's getting there. How are all these people 595 00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:35,719 Speaker 1: affording this? Like I was just like, this is taking me, 596 00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:37,240 Speaker 1: like my whole life to get to this point where 597 00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:39,200 Speaker 1: I'm okay, but spending this much money and the people 598 00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:41,720 Speaker 1: just like going in going out, And I realized, you 599 00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:44,280 Speaker 1: know a lot of these people are I don't know 600 00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:47,280 Speaker 1: if it's like IVF or I'm not. I don't know 601 00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:50,000 Speaker 1: all about that, but you know, I think so much 602 00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:53,520 Speaker 1: of it is people who are desperately trying to get pregnant. 603 00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:56,960 Speaker 1: I remember still being wheeled into the room where the 604 00:29:56,960 --> 00:29:58,760 Speaker 1: surgery is and I was like, what the hell was 605 00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:00,880 Speaker 1: happening here? And then I just like I remember the 606 00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:04,000 Speaker 1: moment right before I fell asleep. They put a an 607 00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:06,800 Speaker 1: ivy and that's what I just kept I'm like, this 608 00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:09,440 Speaker 1: hurts so bad, like because I'm saying, I'm like, I 609 00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:12,960 Speaker 1: still feel this still today. I still can feel that 610 00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:15,600 Speaker 1: horrible feeling of ivy, like in your wrist. I'm like, 611 00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:17,600 Speaker 1: this is the worst thing I've ever filled in my life. 612 00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:20,040 Speaker 1: It's called a head block. You have it the whole 613 00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:22,080 Speaker 1: time you have a baby. If you have a baby 614 00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:24,200 Speaker 1: in the hospital, it's in there for three days. Were 615 00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:26,400 Speaker 1: you just like, is this ever gonna stop hurting me? 616 00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:30,560 Speaker 1: I mean, it sounds like they didn't really get a 617 00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:34,000 Speaker 1: good It shouldn't bother you like that, Like it shouldn't. 618 00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:37,480 Speaker 1: It should be uncomfortable for the first like maybe ten minutes, 619 00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:39,600 Speaker 1: but then you don't feel it anymore. Really, it was 620 00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:41,360 Speaker 1: all I could talk about, even when I woke up 621 00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:44,120 Speaker 1: and recorded a video of me being like, how's think 622 00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:49,959 Speaker 1: I know you? I'm like, I say, yeah, but like 623 00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:52,640 Speaker 1: you like, the whole thing is me just like so 624 00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:56,320 Speaker 1: messed up waiting. Oh, can you please send that to me? 625 00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:59,320 Speaker 1: I'm dying this is yet. Oh I'm so glad Alex 626 00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:02,200 Speaker 1: didn't feel that. I just remember waking up and my 627 00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:04,320 Speaker 1: doctor was sitting there, and he was there and he's like, 628 00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:07,720 Speaker 1: you're okay, And I was like, what happened? And then 629 00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:09,920 Speaker 1: she told me, like how many eggs they got? They're 630 00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:12,520 Speaker 1: trying to get like ten, right, they want to get 631 00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:16,840 Speaker 1: ten because with every process you lose like five. So 632 00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:18,880 Speaker 1: if you get ten, then it means you have about 633 00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:21,520 Speaker 1: five that are viable. I got six, and I was 634 00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:24,520 Speaker 1: thrilled with that. Yeah, because they were saying to you 635 00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:28,400 Speaker 1: there might be three. But sometimes like you can get 636 00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:30,920 Speaker 1: a hundred eggs and none of them can be viable, 637 00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:33,280 Speaker 1: like or you can have you can have six eggs 638 00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:36,240 Speaker 1: and they might all be viable. You only need one, 639 00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:38,680 Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? Like that works really 640 00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:42,600 Speaker 1: there's a little bit of magic involved it of why 641 00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:45,120 Speaker 1: certain ones will make it. It's like, not only do 642 00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:47,240 Speaker 1: you have to get a certain you know you're trying 643 00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:49,000 Speaker 1: to get a certain number. Then they have to be 644 00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:51,040 Speaker 1: go through the freezing process, then they go through an 645 00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:53,520 Speaker 1: unfreezing process. Then at a later date they might be 646 00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:55,720 Speaker 1: mixed with an embryo. Then you have to carry it 647 00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:57,880 Speaker 1: if you want to carry it or your surrogate carry it. 648 00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:00,440 Speaker 1: I mean, there are so many hoops. It's easy that 649 00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:03,400 Speaker 1: anyone has a baby at all. It's insane. I know, 650 00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:07,640 Speaker 1: it seems crazy, wild, The whole thing's wild. So they 651 00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:09,640 Speaker 1: wake you up, they wake you up, and what end 652 00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:12,840 Speaker 1: right then? And there they tell you. I remember Carolyn 653 00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:17,960 Speaker 1: like she's like six. I just remembering. I was like, 654 00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:21,080 Speaker 1: she's like six beautiful eggs, you know, And I felt 655 00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:22,640 Speaker 1: really good about that, you know, and I was so 656 00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:25,280 Speaker 1: glad it was over. I was just like, you know, 657 00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:29,600 Speaker 1: I'm glad we thought we had I had nine, and 658 00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:31,400 Speaker 1: then she woke me up and she's like we got 659 00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:34,880 Speaker 1: eleven and they were all liable, and I was like 660 00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:37,680 Speaker 1: and I just cried because I was like, oh my god, 661 00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:40,000 Speaker 1: because I just really thought. I was like, I fucked 662 00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:41,840 Speaker 1: all this up with birth control for all these years. 663 00:32:42,120 --> 00:32:43,880 Speaker 1: But then of course the second I could, I went 664 00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:46,960 Speaker 1: right back on it. So once it's done, are you done? 665 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:48,240 Speaker 1: Do you not have to take any more home or 666 00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:50,800 Speaker 1: hormones anymore? Or do you have to like taper yourself off? 667 00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:53,520 Speaker 1: I think you stopped immediately taking them, but but I 668 00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:57,800 Speaker 1: felt horrible, like for a few weeks after, oh you did, yeah, 669 00:32:57,840 --> 00:33:01,120 Speaker 1: that blow that there's something about this blow like and 670 00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:03,920 Speaker 1: I don't ever really feel like that in my stomach. 671 00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:07,520 Speaker 1: Like for me, it was like a real feign. There 672 00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:10,520 Speaker 1: was like something crazy happening in my belly. I've done 673 00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:15,080 Speaker 1: Lindsay Kraft for twentysomething years, and this girl has a 674 00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:18,880 Speaker 1: very enviable flat stomach. You're not saying that. I am. 675 00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:21,200 Speaker 1: She is always no matter where you've been at your life, 676 00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:25,120 Speaker 1: have a rock hard Oh god, been able to wear 677 00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:27,560 Speaker 1: low rise jeans and I don't know anyone that can 678 00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:31,040 Speaker 1: do that. You can wear low rise sweatpants, that's true. You. 679 00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:34,120 Speaker 1: I've never known anyone toward jeans like you. Yes, that's true. 680 00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:38,280 Speaker 1: Oh my god. Your stomach is a fuck ridiculous. So 681 00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:41,000 Speaker 1: for you to feel bloated or feel something weird, I 682 00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:44,640 Speaker 1: bet was very different for you, Like it's just not 683 00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:49,680 Speaker 1: your natural state of being well, injecting all this stuff 684 00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:53,000 Speaker 1: into your body like that's giving you eggs. Are you 685 00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:57,120 Speaker 1: glad you did it? Yes? Did you feel relief? Did 686 00:33:57,120 --> 00:33:59,480 Speaker 1: you feel like it was money well spent? Did you 687 00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:04,400 Speaker 1: feeling anxiety lesson? Yes? I I feel like I really 688 00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:06,880 Speaker 1: did it for the anxiety honestly. But now I'm in 689 00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:09,520 Speaker 1: the phase of like not to start thinking about it again, 690 00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:13,080 Speaker 1: like thinking about the next step of it. You know, right, 691 00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:15,040 Speaker 1: are you going to use them? But it really took 692 00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:19,000 Speaker 1: away just that like that question even if it's not 693 00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:20,799 Speaker 1: gonna work, And it was like, Okay, I did my 694 00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:24,080 Speaker 1: bit in terms of, like, you know, thinking about my 695 00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:26,680 Speaker 1: future and the possibilities of you know, what kind of 696 00:34:26,719 --> 00:34:29,320 Speaker 1: life I'm going to have? Yeah, and what about you stuff. 697 00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:33,440 Speaker 1: Absolutely it was worth it. I the second after I 698 00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:36,200 Speaker 1: did it, I told any everybody that I did it, 699 00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:38,320 Speaker 1: and I was like, if anybody wants to ask me questions, 700 00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:39,960 Speaker 1: call me. I would be the poster child for this. 701 00:34:40,040 --> 00:34:41,960 Speaker 1: Like every anyone who is thinking of doing it, do it, 702 00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:44,720 Speaker 1: do it earlier than I did it, you know, figure 703 00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:46,759 Speaker 1: out how to afford it. It is so worth it 704 00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:49,640 Speaker 1: because I I needed that. I needed that peace of mind. 705 00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:52,200 Speaker 1: I have had like a battle with time my whole life, 706 00:34:52,239 --> 00:34:55,040 Speaker 1: and I was so afraid of running out of time, 707 00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:58,520 Speaker 1: and I wasn't ready because of my age, and because 708 00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:00,640 Speaker 1: I hadn't done it. It was putting all this pressure 709 00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:03,360 Speaker 1: on my relationship because my husband is seven and a 710 00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:05,960 Speaker 1: half years younger than me, and we were not exactly 711 00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:07,799 Speaker 1: the same place when it came to this, and so 712 00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:11,160 Speaker 1: for us to have that security and that insurance policy. 713 00:35:11,239 --> 00:35:13,320 Speaker 1: Basically it meant that that did not have to be 714 00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:15,960 Speaker 1: a factor in our relationship. And I honestly think if 715 00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:18,319 Speaker 1: I hadn't have done it, I don't know if we 716 00:35:18,360 --> 00:35:19,880 Speaker 1: would be where. I don't know if we would be 717 00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:21,520 Speaker 1: married right now, Like I don't know if we would 718 00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:24,680 Speaker 1: have been able to have that kind of ease to 719 00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:26,480 Speaker 1: to like work on whatever we needed to work on 720 00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:29,840 Speaker 1: to get where we are now. And it also made 721 00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:34,160 Speaker 1: trying to get pregnant a little less stressful. I mean, 722 00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:37,400 Speaker 1: although I was definitely like, I'm not going to use them. 723 00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:40,160 Speaker 1: You know they're there, but we're never going to use them. 724 00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:42,040 Speaker 1: And I'm very lucky that we had we haven't used 725 00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:44,839 Speaker 1: them yet, but I'm also forty and having my first child, 726 00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:46,719 Speaker 1: and if we would like to have a second one, 727 00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:48,480 Speaker 1: you know, there's a there's a good chance that we 728 00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:50,719 Speaker 1: might need to use them. At least I know they're there. 729 00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:54,520 Speaker 1: We have this science available to us, and you know, 730 00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:56,560 Speaker 1: we live in this place where we were like, you 731 00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:58,720 Speaker 1: can have it all, and it's like, no, you really 732 00:35:58,719 --> 00:36:02,920 Speaker 1: can't unless you have money and time. Okay, So craft 733 00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:05,319 Speaker 1: you're happy you did it. Do you ever wake up 734 00:36:05,360 --> 00:36:07,000 Speaker 1: in the middle of the night and think about the 735 00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:11,960 Speaker 1: six little little babies that you have. Some I think 736 00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:14,839 Speaker 1: if they were embryos, I would probably think about them. 737 00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:17,600 Speaker 1: The whole thing for me was like my own ambivalence, 738 00:36:17,719 --> 00:36:20,360 Speaker 1: you know. But if you're not ambivalent about having children, 739 00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:23,840 Speaker 1: you know you want to have children, you should do 740 00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:27,359 Speaker 1: this as early as you can. No, but I think 741 00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:29,400 Speaker 1: you're right if you want to be a mom in 742 00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:31,200 Speaker 1: your life, if you want to be a mom to 743 00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:34,880 Speaker 1: a biological baby, which that's not you know, that's not 744 00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:37,120 Speaker 1: for everyone either. Like maybe you know people who are 745 00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:38,960 Speaker 1: listening who are like, no, you know what, like I 746 00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:41,440 Speaker 1: don't really have the money and I'm down for adoption 747 00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:44,919 Speaker 1: or I'm down for other you know things. But if 748 00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:48,880 Speaker 1: you're like, I want my egg a baby that way 749 00:36:49,239 --> 00:36:53,040 Speaker 1: and all the rest is unclear, but I know that, 750 00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:56,759 Speaker 1: then it's like, don't even wait. Don't wait for the 751 00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:59,840 Speaker 1: other pieces to fall into place, because you're just going 752 00:36:59,880 --> 00:37:03,919 Speaker 1: to get more anxious about it, right, Just do it? Yes, Yeah, 753 00:37:04,239 --> 00:37:06,400 Speaker 1: I just say it's this like amazing thing that science 754 00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:10,600 Speaker 1: has given us that is actually like quite feminist, you know, 755 00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:13,560 Speaker 1: it's like pro what is a pro woman thing? We 756 00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:16,400 Speaker 1: were you know a lot of people grow up thinking 757 00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:18,879 Speaker 1: that like they have to do certain things because they're 758 00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:20,719 Speaker 1: a woman, And this is something that we have at 759 00:37:20,719 --> 00:37:23,920 Speaker 1: our disposal if you can afford it, and hopefully our 760 00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:26,439 Speaker 1: health care system can figure out a way to make 761 00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:29,080 Speaker 1: this part of the benefits and make this an option 762 00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:32,279 Speaker 1: for all women and not make this about privilege. It's 763 00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:34,880 Speaker 1: truly a way for us to be in the workforce 764 00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:38,280 Speaker 1: and to wait and not be beholden to this archaic 765 00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:43,400 Speaker 1: view of time and when we're supposed to have, you know, children, 766 00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:45,279 Speaker 1: I mean, like you know when you when you're having 767 00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:48,760 Speaker 1: when you're pregnant over thirty five they called a geriatric pregnancy, 768 00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:51,080 Speaker 1: and me being forty, I feel like everyone has just 769 00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:53,719 Speaker 1: put the fear of God into me about this age. 770 00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:56,200 Speaker 1: All of the science or a lot of it that 771 00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:59,479 Speaker 1: it is based on is stuff from like a long 772 00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:02,640 Speaker 1: time ago. Oh it's not really based on Now we've 773 00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:05,759 Speaker 1: done episodes on this podcast and moms over forty women 774 00:38:05,800 --> 00:38:08,239 Speaker 1: are getting party forty five without it. I mean, it's 775 00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:11,360 Speaker 1: not we're not for forties and the new thirty isn't it? 776 00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:14,680 Speaker 1: So we're twenty for sure, but like we're three, like 777 00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:16,799 Speaker 1: super ambitious, Like we all got out to l A 778 00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:18,719 Speaker 1: and I remember those first years for us, like we 779 00:38:18,719 --> 00:38:20,960 Speaker 1: were like hitting the ground running. We were working our 780 00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:24,200 Speaker 1: asses off. We were definitely not thinking about starting families 781 00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:26,080 Speaker 1: or getting married. We were like, we are going to 782 00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:28,840 Speaker 1: take this town, you know, by storm, even at the 783 00:38:28,880 --> 00:38:30,640 Speaker 1: age where right now, like we still want to. So 784 00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:34,080 Speaker 1: you shouldn't have to like give that up to have 785 00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:37,440 Speaker 1: a kid. And if this was more like available to 786 00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:40,440 Speaker 1: people and everyone realized that it's an option for everybody, 787 00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:43,520 Speaker 1: then it's your choice when you when you start a family. 788 00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:46,560 Speaker 1: And also knowing that you can preserve your eggs for 789 00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:49,200 Speaker 1: when you're ready. Yes, And I like would craft you 790 00:38:49,239 --> 00:38:51,799 Speaker 1: know Craft, who you weren't someone who was like I'd 791 00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:57,400 Speaker 1: not sure about motherhood really, so like I'm just I 792 00:38:57,480 --> 00:39:01,319 Speaker 1: don't want to decide today, Like I'm gonna be like 793 00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:04,279 Speaker 1: sixty and be like I'm just not sure it. Yeah, 794 00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:07,040 Speaker 1: but it'll be perfect. So what like you'll get a 795 00:39:07,120 --> 00:39:09,239 Speaker 1: kid that your eggs will be the age they were 796 00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:13,280 Speaker 1: when you froze them, or you'll get a kid another way, 797 00:39:13,320 --> 00:39:17,160 Speaker 1: Like Yes, So I think this is such an important topic. 798 00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:19,319 Speaker 1: I think it's so important And thank you guys for 799 00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:24,640 Speaker 1: going into like detail on the feelings during and after, 800 00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:28,040 Speaker 1: and like some of the more logistical stuff, because I 801 00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:30,120 Speaker 1: think that's what women don't know. We don't know about 802 00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:32,520 Speaker 1: the picking up the drugs and the shots and mixing 803 00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:34,640 Speaker 1: it on your own and it costs more to get it, 804 00:39:34,719 --> 00:39:38,200 Speaker 1: or like that you get internally examined every other day. 805 00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:42,080 Speaker 1: Is there anything else that you want to say or 806 00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:45,319 Speaker 1: think would be helpful to people who are listening who 807 00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:48,719 Speaker 1: are considering freezing their eggs. I would say, if you're 808 00:39:48,719 --> 00:39:51,399 Speaker 1: considering it, do it as as soon as you can. 809 00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:55,080 Speaker 1: Worry about the price after, like get the money from 810 00:39:55,120 --> 00:39:57,640 Speaker 1: friends or whatever you need to do, because the longer 811 00:39:57,640 --> 00:39:59,960 Speaker 1: you wait is just the worst case you're gonna be. 812 00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:03,799 Speaker 1: That's all. And you can put it on credit card, right, Yeah, 813 00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:05,879 Speaker 1: you absolutely can. I put everything on a credit card 814 00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:07,200 Speaker 1: and then I got some points and then I was 815 00:40:07,239 --> 00:40:09,719 Speaker 1: able to travel back east and see my family. It 816 00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:13,040 Speaker 1: was like it all it all worked out. But it's 817 00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:16,800 Speaker 1: truly like, if you're thinking about doing it, it's safe, 818 00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:21,200 Speaker 1: it's you know, the success rate is really high. And 819 00:40:21,239 --> 00:40:24,600 Speaker 1: if you're you know, between thirty and thirty five and 820 00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:26,600 Speaker 1: you're hesitant, I would just do it. If you can 821 00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:29,080 Speaker 1: do it now, just do it it'll be so glad 822 00:40:29,120 --> 00:40:31,800 Speaker 1: you did, and then it's not something you have to 823 00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:34,680 Speaker 1: think about, you know, as you're getting older. For four years, 824 00:40:34,719 --> 00:40:37,479 Speaker 1: I was like thinking thinking about it. What's the point 825 00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:39,800 Speaker 1: of thinking about something that you can actually do unless 826 00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:43,279 Speaker 1: I get and I understand that I'm extremely privileged to 827 00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:46,400 Speaker 1: have been able to do this, like for for the option, 828 00:40:46,560 --> 00:40:49,560 Speaker 1: you know, God, you know, just even talking about that, 829 00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:51,759 Speaker 1: and and and like the fact that we're talking about 830 00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:53,880 Speaker 1: it makes me realize how privileged I am to be 831 00:40:53,920 --> 00:40:57,120 Speaker 1: able to do it, and that if it's a real 832 00:40:57,200 --> 00:41:00,359 Speaker 1: priority for people, that there is I know it. There's 833 00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:03,160 Speaker 1: not payment plans, it doesn't sound like there are for 834 00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:06,359 Speaker 1: egg freezing, but there's payment plans for credit card, you know, 835 00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:08,400 Speaker 1: like there's payment plans if you were to put it 836 00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:12,040 Speaker 1: on a credit card that has paying off this much 837 00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:14,560 Speaker 1: a month, you know, for a year, and breaking things 838 00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:17,080 Speaker 1: up that way. I mean, some of these bigger companies 839 00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:20,720 Speaker 1: I think are starting to and and it's great because 840 00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:23,840 Speaker 1: they're they're supporting the women who want to keep working, 841 00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:26,960 Speaker 1: who don't want to take time off necessarily yet right, 842 00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:31,600 Speaker 1: I really really am so thankful for you guys taking 843 00:41:31,640 --> 00:41:35,600 Speaker 1: the time and sharing your experiences with our listeners because 844 00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:39,160 Speaker 1: I think this ship is so helpful and I know 845 00:41:39,280 --> 00:41:42,680 Speaker 1: there are a lot of women thinking about egg freezing 846 00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:46,120 Speaker 1: all the time, and if this podcast can give them 847 00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:49,000 Speaker 1: in any way shape form, just like any information that 848 00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:51,480 Speaker 1: they didn't have before, that might make decision making any 849 00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:54,880 Speaker 1: easier than we have done our job. Thank you, Stephanie Black, 850 00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:58,200 Speaker 1: and thank you Lindsay Kraft for coming on Katie's Crib. 851 00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:01,840 Speaker 1: I love you both with all of my heart. I 852 00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:03,680 Speaker 1: never thought I'd be able to be a guest on 853 00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:05,560 Speaker 1: Katie's Crab like this was the one way that I 854 00:42:05,560 --> 00:42:08,320 Speaker 1: could be a guest. I know, Sam, I'm so excited. 855 00:42:09,239 --> 00:42:11,319 Speaker 1: Oh my god. Well, Steph you're gonna have to come 856 00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:13,840 Speaker 1: on and tell us about motherhood. Lindsay Kraft, You're going 857 00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:15,400 Speaker 1: to have to come on at some point and just 858 00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:18,120 Speaker 1: tell us where you're at and if you've answered any 859 00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:21,520 Speaker 1: questions with yourself. Look, Katie's Crab hopefully has got many 860 00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:26,040 Speaker 1: many seasons, and you're you're my favorite and a fan favorite, 861 00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:28,920 Speaker 1: so we need to hear about your fertility journey in 862 00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:32,040 Speaker 1: all of its steps. We love you, Ka, We're so 863 00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:40,080 Speaker 1: grateful to be on here. Thank you so much for listening. 864 00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:42,799 Speaker 1: To today's episode. Am I not the luckiest in the 865 00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:45,200 Speaker 1: world that I get to call Lindsay Craft and Stephanie 866 00:42:45,239 --> 00:42:47,520 Speaker 1: Black two of my best friends? I want to hear 867 00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:49,799 Speaker 1: from you. What do you guys want to talk about 868 00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:52,279 Speaker 1: an upcoming episodes? You know that you could always reach 869 00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:58,200 Speaker 1: me via email at Katie's Crib at Shonda land dot com. 870 00:42:58,280 --> 00:43:00,440 Speaker 1: Katie's Crib is a production of Shonda land An Audio 871 00:43:00,560 --> 00:43:03,359 Speaker 1: in partnership with I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from 872 00:43:03,360 --> 00:43:06,480 Speaker 1: Shondaland Audio, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, 873 00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:22,960 Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. You until 874 00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:25,799 Speaker 1: you try ned