1
00:00:00,720 --> 00:00:03,440
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is John the og story

2
00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:04,360
Speaker 1: Time podcast host.

3
00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:06,200
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and we got some great stories coming up.

4
00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:08,639
Speaker 1: But before that, we got a teeny two minute break

5
00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:11,600
Speaker 1: from the sponsors that keep this show propped up like

6
00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:12,760
Speaker 1: a little house. Oh yeah.

7
00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:16,960
Speaker 3: My sister in law demanded that I give her kids

8
00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:17,640
Speaker 3: my toys.

9
00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:21,640
Speaker 1: I refused. These games are on my phone, not yours.

10
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:24,400
Speaker 3: I am twenty eight female and I grew up in poverty.

11
00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:26,920
Speaker 3: My parents barely kept a roof over our heads and

12
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:29,960
Speaker 3: fed us, but they gave me and my brother proper education.

13
00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:33,080
Speaker 3: We won scholarships in private schools, but the things other

14
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:36,280
Speaker 3: kids had always left us in tears as we couldn't

15
00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:40,000
Speaker 3: afford them. We also faced mocking from rich relatives, cousins,

16
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:43,400
Speaker 3: and schoolmates. We promised ourselves that we would reach a

17
00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:47,479
Speaker 3: level of success and wouldn't let others mock us. By

18
00:00:47,479 --> 00:00:50,040
Speaker 3: the way, this comes from application Wifey one two through four,

19
00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:51,559
Speaker 3: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

20
00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:53,760
Speaker 3: to the r slash Okay Storytime Supper in it. So,

21
00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:57,080
Speaker 3: I studied hard, cleared the bank exam at age twenty two,

22
00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:59,240
Speaker 3: and I've been working as a manager in a bank

23
00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:01,520
Speaker 3: with a six figure check in my country. My elder

24
00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:05,399
Speaker 3: brother is doing even better, working for an international MNC

25
00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:08,240
Speaker 3: and making double what I make. Last year. We both

26
00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:11,320
Speaker 3: purchased duplexes in the same building, and though the mortgage

27
00:01:11,319 --> 00:01:13,840
Speaker 3: is high, it is worth the investment and is giving

28
00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:17,520
Speaker 3: our parents good living conditions. He also married an angel, Rebecca,

29
00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:20,520
Speaker 3: who herself works at a reputable job. I am dating

30
00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:23,479
Speaker 3: Jack thirty mail and we've just got engaged. He comes

31
00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:26,800
Speaker 3: from an upper middle class family and we are very different.

32
00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:30,800
Speaker 3: He finds my toy room weird for my age, but

33
00:01:30,959 --> 00:01:33,440
Speaker 3: it is full of those dream collections of toys that

34
00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:36,000
Speaker 3: I wanted as a kid, ranging from Teddy Bears to

35
00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:39,200
Speaker 3: Barbie Dolls, to remote cars to PlayStation. It is my

36
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:42,520
Speaker 3: hoolie grail, so he doesn't question it anymore. It even

37
00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:45,559
Speaker 3: has vintage TV video games from Super Mario to others.

38
00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:49,080
Speaker 3: His elder sister, Tricia thirty eight female, and her two kids,

39
00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:52,279
Speaker 3: twelve female and ten male, visited my house with Trisha

40
00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:55,320
Speaker 3: has always been passive aggressive towards me. I feel she

41
00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:57,880
Speaker 3: looks down upon my background, but she has never been

42
00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:00,760
Speaker 3: I showed her around my duplex and she made comments

43
00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:03,680
Speaker 3: ranging from my wall decorations to furniture I let it go.

44
00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:06,000
Speaker 3: When her kids saw my room, they asked me to

45
00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:08,440
Speaker 3: let them play. I allowed them. Very nice of her

46
00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:11,160
Speaker 3: kids to ask. The moment she started leaving, the kids

47
00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,280
Speaker 3: asked me to give them some of my car and

48
00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:16,760
Speaker 3: doll collection and my vintage Super Mario. I refused. Jack

49
00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:18,720
Speaker 3: and Tricia said to me that I am old enough

50
00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:20,840
Speaker 3: for all of this and should just give some of

51
00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:22,600
Speaker 3: them to the kids. We're going to be my family.

52
00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:23,440
Speaker 3: I still refuse.

53
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,040
Speaker 1: Hey, you know what's crazy is that all this stuff

54
00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:28,440
Speaker 1: I have? You know they're they're not one of a kind.

55
00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:30,480
Speaker 1: You can actually go get this stuff yourself.

56
00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:31,840
Speaker 3: Who get them some nice stuff.

57
00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:35,120
Speaker 1: You can also buyd like a cheap emulator from you know,

58
00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:38,720
Speaker 1: Amazon that'll give you five hundred Atari games for like

59
00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:39,280
Speaker 1: twenty bars.

60
00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:42,720
Speaker 3: I really don't understand pea kids. Yeah, I don't understand

61
00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:46,160
Speaker 3: people's entitlement to these things. I mean, I'm sorry, even

62
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:46,600
Speaker 3: if it was.

63
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,840
Speaker 1: Like money, that's why. Yeah, you make more money than me,

64
00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:51,560
Speaker 1: so you I I you should just give me the stuff.

65
00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:51,960
Speaker 2: She just gives me.

66
00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:54,120
Speaker 3: She left in a hurry with her kids, who started

67
00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:56,840
Speaker 3: crying after I refuse. Jack and I had a huge

68
00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:59,680
Speaker 3: fight afterward. No, we don't live together, but hang out

69
00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:02,320
Speaker 3: together often at each other's places. He told me to

70
00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:04,920
Speaker 3: grow up, and I told them these collections are my

71
00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:08,040
Speaker 3: childhood dreams envy that I have and I am never

72
00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:11,079
Speaker 3: sharing them with anyone else besides my kids. I told

73
00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:13,200
Speaker 3: them that when we marry, I will gift to his

74
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:17,160
Speaker 3: family members on occasions, but these are my private collections.

75
00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:19,720
Speaker 3: Are aren't up for discussion. Now he's giving me the

76
00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:21,920
Speaker 3: cold shoulder. I didn't mean to make the kids cry,

77
00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:23,960
Speaker 3: but even as a kid, I was taught by my

78
00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:27,200
Speaker 3: parents not to demand things at other people's homes, even

79
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,720
Speaker 3: when we were poor. Rebecca is on my side too,

80
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:31,880
Speaker 3: but my brother says that I'm doing the same as

81
00:03:31,919 --> 00:03:35,600
Speaker 3: other kids did to us, including our cousins. How but

82
00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:37,760
Speaker 3: I don't see it as the same. Tricia and her

83
00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:40,320
Speaker 3: husband are well to do also. We are meeting today

84
00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:42,520
Speaker 3: and I will tell him the difference is in our

85
00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:44,880
Speaker 3: growing up and why these toys matter to me. I

86
00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:46,880
Speaker 3: don't like to talk about my childhood much, but I

87
00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:49,120
Speaker 3: hope this might open his eyes. Am I the ale

88
00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:52,200
Speaker 3: and there are some relevant comments that's absurd?

89
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:54,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is absurd, Like.

90
00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:57,880
Speaker 3: She this is your brother's girlfriend and you're like, give

91
00:03:57,920 --> 00:03:59,520
Speaker 3: me your staff, Give your staff to my kids.

92
00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:01,920
Speaker 1: You don't even have to explain your childhood. You can

93
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:05,480
Speaker 1: just explain how simply buying and owning works.

94
00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:07,640
Speaker 3: This is my staff. You don't get it.

95
00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:11,480
Speaker 1: So there's money, right, I have money. I spend money

96
00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:14,160
Speaker 1: on things. They belong to me. You have money, You

97
00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:14,920
Speaker 1: can spend it on.

98
00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:19,039
Speaker 3: Things and then they belong to you. Blond one PSP says,

99
00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:21,320
Speaker 3: not the ale, but you might need to rethink your

100
00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:24,200
Speaker 3: relationship with your boyfriend. I'm fifty six and I have

101
00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:26,520
Speaker 3: a doll collection. My husband never told me to grow

102
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,120
Speaker 3: up or disrespected me over it. To Jack and Tricia

103
00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:31,680
Speaker 3: should know it's rude to ask another person for their

104
00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:35,320
Speaker 3: things or collectibles because besides, it's not one hundred percent

105
00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:37,840
Speaker 3: a certainty that those kids will be family, now, is it.

106
00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:40,440
Speaker 3: Opie says yep. Today we're meaning and I'm going to

107
00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:43,120
Speaker 3: open up my whole childhood to him. And now he

108
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:45,520
Speaker 3: won't get it because he was raised in upper middle

109
00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:48,760
Speaker 3: class home. He isn't a bad person and very compassionate

110
00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:51,640
Speaker 3: volunteers at animal shelters, et cetera. I just don't like

111
00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:54,039
Speaker 3: to open up about my childhood as it triggers my

112
00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:56,520
Speaker 3: bad days, but it might be a game changer for

113
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,480
Speaker 3: our relationship. Darkness Beyond says, not the ale. But why

114
00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:01,080
Speaker 3: do you want to be with someone who doesn't stand

115
00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:03,599
Speaker 3: up for you when his family crosses boundaries and doesn't

116
00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:04,839
Speaker 3: support what makes you happy?

117
00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:06,120
Speaker 2: Betty snoots and poops.

118
00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:08,560
Speaker 3: I would be afraid if he would do something vindictive

119
00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:11,320
Speaker 3: after marriage, like give them away or sell them. Something

120
00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:13,360
Speaker 3: tells me you think so people give up the hobby

121
00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:15,760
Speaker 3: after they're married and living together, like she won't be

122
00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:18,880
Speaker 3: allowed to have it anymore. Ope says nah, not a doormat.

123
00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:21,520
Speaker 3: But I believe in working around the relationship. We have

124
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:24,440
Speaker 3: been together for two years. This is only this is

125
00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:26,960
Speaker 3: the only time we fought like this. We will discuss

126
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:29,800
Speaker 3: it and if we don't reach common ground, then yes,

127
00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:32,680
Speaker 3: I will end it. If he fails to understand and

128
00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:35,400
Speaker 3: there is an update, and he thoughts before we dive.

129
00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:37,400
Speaker 1: In, how does your you're getting engaged?

130
00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:37,719
Speaker 3: Yeah?

131
00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:39,839
Speaker 2: How does this guy not already know about you childhood?

132
00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:41,000
Speaker 3: I know I was wondering about that.

133
00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:42,760
Speaker 1: How why are we going to get married to people

134
00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:44,120
Speaker 1: who don't know us?

135
00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:44,760
Speaker 3: Yeah?

136
00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:48,320
Speaker 1: Right, that doesn't sound right. Also, outside of everything else,

137
00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:49,240
Speaker 1: that's all I'm gonna say.

138
00:05:49,279 --> 00:05:51,400
Speaker 2: And also he doesn't really need to understand that whole

139
00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:53,720
Speaker 2: backstory to know that you can't take this stuff right.

140
00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:56,360
Speaker 1: He should also understand, Yeah, what's mine is mine, and

141
00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:58,600
Speaker 1: if they really want that, guess what, maybe I'll use

142
00:05:58,600 --> 00:05:59,400
Speaker 1: a little bit of my money.

143
00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:02,359
Speaker 3: I'll buiom copy short updates. So that day, Jack and

144
00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:05,119
Speaker 3: I plan to have a meeting. But sometime before our meeting,

145
00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:08,560
Speaker 3: he called me and he was very emotional. He apologized

146
00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:11,920
Speaker 3: and told his mother, Riley indeed put some senses inside

147
00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:14,760
Speaker 3: his brain. He asked my permission to bring his mom

148
00:06:14,839 --> 00:06:18,039
Speaker 3: and Tricia. I accepted it. When they arrived, Riley simply

149
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:20,320
Speaker 3: asked me to narrate the whole thing. I told her

150
00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:23,640
Speaker 3: everything about how Tricia and her kids demanded my toys.

151
00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:26,239
Speaker 3: I told her about the sentimental value of those toys.

152
00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:29,120
Speaker 3: I told her about passive aggressive comments of Tricia, and

153
00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:32,159
Speaker 3: now I thought Jack never supported me. Tricia tried to shout,

154
00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:34,320
Speaker 3: but her mother stopped her. And the verbal lashing that

155
00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:36,560
Speaker 3: she gave to both Jack and Tricia for the next minutes,

156
00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:39,799
Speaker 3: I wish I could be so confrontational. She told Tricia

157
00:06:39,839 --> 00:06:42,159
Speaker 3: to discipline her kids and told her that I'm going

158
00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:43,919
Speaker 3: to be her sister in law and she needed to

159
00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:46,800
Speaker 3: change her way if she ever wants a relationship in

160
00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:49,320
Speaker 3: the future, because I'm going to be family and her

161
00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:54,719
Speaker 3: daughter in law. She said, I didn't raise you like this. Yes,

162
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:58,240
Speaker 3: Jack was emotional and apologized. He said he realized now

163
00:06:58,279 --> 00:07:00,479
Speaker 3: the importance of all this. I told him I might

164
00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:03,680
Speaker 3: forgive him, but not forget this. He asked me for

165
00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:06,520
Speaker 3: a chance, so we're going to therapy. Riley told him

166
00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:08,560
Speaker 3: that I'm a wonderful person and he should learn to

167
00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:11,120
Speaker 3: value me more. Jack also told Tricia that her eight

168
00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:13,560
Speaker 3: full comments won't pass again and that if he ever

169
00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:17,640
Speaker 3: sees her putting me down, he will break contact with her. Tricia, well,

170
00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:20,360
Speaker 3: that doesn't make sense. He will go no contact with her.

171
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,600
Speaker 3: Trisha apologized, but I could see it wasn't from the hearts.

172
00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:24,560
Speaker 2: I told her we.

173
00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:26,520
Speaker 3: Need a break and I won't allow her and her

174
00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:29,119
Speaker 3: kids at my home for some time. After that, Riley

175
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:30,680
Speaker 3: ended it and she and Tricia left.

176
00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:32,600
Speaker 2: There is a little bit left of the story.

177
00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:36,520
Speaker 1: Let's see you, yeah, w mom mother in law chat

178
00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:39,960
Speaker 1: for the mom still same point of like, you know whatever,

179
00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:42,520
Speaker 1: all the entitlement blah, blah blah bla blah blahlahlahlah.

180
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:45,560
Speaker 2: Doesn't your husband know about your childhood?

181
00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:48,440
Speaker 1: Right? I don't know, I'm not I'm sure everyone has

182
00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:51,840
Speaker 1: some degree of like stuff that is not spoken or

183
00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:55,840
Speaker 1: that they don't know about each other, even as like husband, wife, whatever.

184
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,960
Speaker 1: But it's like just the basic like here's how I

185
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,200
Speaker 1: grew up. I think like you should know that before

186
00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:02,120
Speaker 1: you do somebody.

187
00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:03,840
Speaker 3: I mean, I could be reading into it too much,

188
00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:06,200
Speaker 3: but I think that maybe op was implying that she

189
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,800
Speaker 3: had said, like, you know, I grew up poor or

190
00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:12,200
Speaker 3: something like that, but hadn't really gone into the depth

191
00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:14,080
Speaker 3: of it, which still should be something that you should

192
00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:14,440
Speaker 3: go into.

193
00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:16,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like it's list of like a like you

194
00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:18,840
Speaker 1: need a checklist of like all right, we've talked about that,

195
00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:19,720
Speaker 1: we've talked about.

196
00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:21,440
Speaker 2: It that it's like it's just important moments in your.

197
00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:24,960
Speaker 1: Life baseline of the mad closeness and an understanding of

198
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,920
Speaker 1: somebody to be now married for the rest.

199
00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:28,120
Speaker 2: Of your life.

200
00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:29,640
Speaker 3: I also think there are a lot of moments when

201
00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:32,440
Speaker 3: you are getting into a relationship, when you're like starting

202
00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:35,800
Speaker 3: in that first kind of initial times as you deepen

203
00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:38,840
Speaker 3: your bond, where you start to have those conversations and

204
00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:40,600
Speaker 3: they just kind of come up. You just like start

205
00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:42,199
Speaker 3: like it's like late at night and you're just kind

206
00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:44,480
Speaker 3: of talking, and then it comes up that like I

207
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:47,760
Speaker 3: don't know your parents got divorced or like like all

208
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:49,640
Speaker 3: of the like the trauma things come up.

209
00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:50,520
Speaker 1: It'll happen.

210
00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:53,000
Speaker 3: Riley and I were always nice to each other, but

211
00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:56,559
Speaker 3: not close. This incident has brought us closer, and we

212
00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:59,680
Speaker 3: talked today on a call for thirty minutes. Jack is

213
00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:02,360
Speaker 3: staying with me and has apologized a lot since we

214
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:04,400
Speaker 3: have booked a couple's therapy and a wedding plan is

215
00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:07,319
Speaker 3: still on. Thanks everyone for feedback. I know many told

216
00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:09,280
Speaker 3: me to break up, and I appreciate it. Jack has

217
00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:11,319
Speaker 3: been wonderful to me in many other ways. This was

218
00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:13,680
Speaker 3: a roadbump which we ever came, and I believe in

219
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:16,880
Speaker 3: working around the relationship. Still. I respect all the feedback.

220
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,559
Speaker 2: Take care question mark.

221
00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:21,120
Speaker 3: Question mark numerous look nine eight four to six. It's

222
00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:23,520
Speaker 3: great that your mother in law supports you one hundred percent,

223
00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:25,559
Speaker 3: but I don't know about Trisha. If she comes back

224
00:09:25,559 --> 00:09:28,480
Speaker 3: to your house with her children, put your collection under

225
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:30,920
Speaker 3: lock and key. If that's possible, you're not safe. From

226
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:33,360
Speaker 3: one of the two children trying to steal something from you,

227
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:36,400
Speaker 3: and given Trisha's behavior, she would be capable of saying

228
00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:39,080
Speaker 3: nothing about it. Opie says, I have locks in every

229
00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:42,040
Speaker 3: door and she isn't entering it anytime soon. I will

230
00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:45,160
Speaker 3: even install a camera there. Apprehensive State twenty eight says

231
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:47,160
Speaker 3: none of this matters because you will never be able

232
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:49,480
Speaker 3: to trust Jack. You should walk away from this family.

233
00:09:49,559 --> 00:09:52,040
Speaker 3: They do not deserve you. I feel like that's a

234
00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:54,200
Speaker 3: little bit harsh. Feel like we've kind of figured it out.

235
00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:56,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, and maybe a little overboard there.

236
00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:58,800
Speaker 3: Opie says, I won't let one incident affect two years

237
00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:01,240
Speaker 3: of a relationship where he you help me my family

238
00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:04,240
Speaker 3: in many ways which are relevant to this topic. He

239
00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:06,280
Speaker 3: surely would have to entern my trust back, but I

240
00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:09,080
Speaker 3: love him and we're starting the process. I hope, He says.

241
00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:11,440
Speaker 3: We're supposed to marry in December. We live nearby and

242
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,839
Speaker 3: shift either at mine or his house. I will never

243
00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:16,160
Speaker 3: be a doormat, and even if he is pulling an act,

244
00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:17,880
Speaker 3: which I don't think he is, I will never let

245
00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:20,360
Speaker 3: him walk over me. And that is the end of

246
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:24,920
Speaker 3: that story. I can't get along with my sister in law.

247
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:27,560
Speaker 3: She always starts drama with me.

248
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,360
Speaker 4: Ugh, she's so dramatic.

249
00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:32,520
Speaker 3: Background. I, twenty seven female, have been with my husband

250
00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:36,280
Speaker 3: twenty seven male, since we were sixteen. We grew up

251
00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:39,559
Speaker 3: in a small town and have had a pretty happy

252
00:10:39,679 --> 00:10:42,760
Speaker 3: and loving relationship throughout. His parents and I have always

253
00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:45,400
Speaker 3: got along great, as well as his brother thirty two male.

254
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:48,240
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Temporary Pumpkin five four

255
00:10:48,559 --> 00:10:50,600
Speaker 3: eighty five and if you want to spit your own stories,

256
00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:53,480
Speaker 3: go to the r slash Okay storytime Subbreddette. So, his

257
00:10:53,559 --> 00:10:56,480
Speaker 3: brother moved away from our small town around five years

258
00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:59,200
Speaker 3: ago to a larger city states away, but we have

259
00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:01,199
Speaker 3: visited at l at least once a year since then.

260
00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:03,960
Speaker 3: His brother is pretty introverted and hasn't been in a

261
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:07,480
Speaker 3: serious relationship since high school. However, he met a girl,

262
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:10,440
Speaker 3: Tiffany thirty female, who we started dating around a year

263
00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:12,240
Speaker 3: and a half ago. They started dating a couple of

264
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:14,400
Speaker 3: months before my husband and I got married, but we

265
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,880
Speaker 3: invited Tiffany to the wedding as my brother in law

266
00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:19,199
Speaker 3: was the best man. This was where both my husband

267
00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:23,439
Speaker 3: and I met Tiffany for the first time. Everything seemed

268
00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:26,240
Speaker 3: to be going great and We were so happy for

269
00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:28,920
Speaker 3: my brother in law to have met someone he really liked.

270
00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:31,360
Speaker 3: A few months after the wedding, my husband and I

271
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:33,640
Speaker 3: decided to move to the same city as my brother

272
00:11:33,679 --> 00:11:35,439
Speaker 3: in law for a year so that my husband and

273
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:38,400
Speaker 3: him could have quality time together before we settled down

274
00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:40,920
Speaker 3: in our home city and started a family, which has

275
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,680
Speaker 3: always been our life plan. At the same time, Tiffany

276
00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,520
Speaker 3: moved in with my brother in law. At this point,

277
00:11:45,559 --> 00:11:47,680
Speaker 3: they had been dating for about nine to ten months.

278
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:50,400
Speaker 3: We spent the first four months getting together with Tiffany,

279
00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:53,040
Speaker 3: my brother in law, and our other close friends via

280
00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:56,480
Speaker 3: game nights, hiking dinners, playing sports, et cetera. Six months

281
00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:58,960
Speaker 3: into the stay, brother in law came to my husband

282
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:01,440
Speaker 3: and said that Tiffany I didn't appreciate the way that

283
00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:04,160
Speaker 3: I was treating her, and said that I was rude

284
00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:07,880
Speaker 3: and disrespectful to her specifically. This came I was an

285
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,880
Speaker 3: utter shock to me, as I had no idea of

286
00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:13,000
Speaker 3: how I had come across as this way. For background,

287
00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:15,320
Speaker 3: I have always been a people pleaser and usually try

288
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:18,200
Speaker 3: to get along with everyone. I'm also generally self aware

289
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:20,240
Speaker 3: and can tell if what I say is in any

290
00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:23,400
Speaker 3: way off putting. Brother in law gave examples, which includes

291
00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:26,439
Speaker 3: the following. I'll try to phrase them as unbiased as

292
00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:28,960
Speaker 3: I can, but it's difficult. I'll add my response to

293
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:32,040
Speaker 3: these below. At a championship sport game where brother in law,

294
00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:34,920
Speaker 3: husband and I were playing, we lost and Tiffany was

295
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:37,200
Speaker 3: sitting in my lawn chair. After losing the match, I

296
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,200
Speaker 3: snapped at her for sitting in my chair. Well, that is,

297
00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:39,720
Speaker 3: Kenna rude.

298
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:40,680
Speaker 1: Do you apologize for that?

299
00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:42,640
Speaker 4: Yeah? That seems kind of weird.

300
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I'd be like Jesus sorry.

301
00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:46,560
Speaker 4: The fact that you were in the chair police, Yeah,

302
00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:48,440
Speaker 4: the fact that she knew that she snapped at her

303
00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:51,160
Speaker 4: sitting at a chair that you weren't using because you

304
00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:51,880
Speaker 4: were in the game.

305
00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:54,720
Speaker 3: I feel mind boggled by this example because while I

306
00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:56,920
Speaker 3: did get angry after losing, I went next to my

307
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,000
Speaker 3: chair to get my water bottle and then stopped away

308
00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:01,320
Speaker 3: again because I was mad be lost. But I never

309
00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:03,400
Speaker 3: said a word to Tiffany, nor did I have any

310
00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:06,280
Speaker 3: interaction with her during this. Husband was standing right next

311
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,720
Speaker 3: to my chair and attested to this. Okay, So to

312
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:12,360
Speaker 3: be clear, OHP did not stab at her. Tiffany's lying, Okay,

313
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,760
Speaker 3: Tiffany tried to approach me at my wedding and I

314
00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:17,559
Speaker 3: completely ignored her and walked away. I also didn't reach

315
00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:19,000
Speaker 3: out to her the week she was there to try

316
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,640
Speaker 3: and welcome her, says Tiffany. Tiffany also says I talked

317
00:13:21,679 --> 00:13:24,200
Speaker 3: to her at our rehearsal dinner the night before.

318
00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:25,800
Speaker 2: But I can't even remember who all I talked to

319
00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:26,440
Speaker 2: at my wedding.

320
00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:29,240
Speaker 3: Wedding was size of one hundred and fifty guests. I'm

321
00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:31,400
Speaker 3: not the type of person to ignore or walk away

322
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:33,680
Speaker 3: from someone talking to me, so I find it very

323
00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:35,880
Speaker 3: hard to believe I did this. I did not reach

324
00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:38,240
Speaker 3: out to her earlier that week because I was extremely

325
00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:40,760
Speaker 3: busy trying to plan for the wedding day purposely broke

326
00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:43,480
Speaker 3: her kitchen scissors and tried to hide them, she says.

327
00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:45,760
Speaker 3: Another friend of ours and I were helping Tiffany and

328
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:48,400
Speaker 3: brother in law unpike their belongings after they had moved in.

329
00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:50,959
Speaker 3: I was using scissors to try and open a box

330
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:53,320
Speaker 3: and the pin popped out. Friend and Tiffany saw this,

331
00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:55,360
Speaker 3: and I said, oh no, and friend took them from

332
00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:57,080
Speaker 3: me and put the pin back in and placed them

333
00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:59,839
Speaker 3: back on kitchen counter Tiffany's lied about being sick to

334
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:02,480
Speaker 3: avoid going It says that I lied about being sick

335
00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:04,440
Speaker 3: to avoid going on a hike if he overheard me

336
00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:06,400
Speaker 3: talking to friend about how I didn't want to do

337
00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:08,640
Speaker 3: a hike the day before that, Tiffany and brother in

338
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:10,400
Speaker 3: law asked us to go on and I told them

339
00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:12,560
Speaker 3: I was sick. Op. He responds and says, this one

340
00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:14,920
Speaker 3: is true. I did say to friend I didn't want

341
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:16,280
Speaker 3: to go on a hike, but I didn't want to

342
00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:19,160
Speaker 3: go because I was sick. Husband attested to this as

343
00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:20,920
Speaker 3: I was throwing up all day and we had to

344
00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:21,640
Speaker 3: cancel the hike.

345
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:23,360
Speaker 2: Well, he's like, did you want me to throw up

346
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:23,760
Speaker 2: on you?

347
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:27,560
Speaker 3: After hearing all these accusations from my husband, after hearing

348
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,400
Speaker 3: it from brother in law, I sent a text to

349
00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:32,880
Speaker 3: Tiffany apologizing for any rude instances and told her these

350
00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:35,800
Speaker 3: were never my intentions and tried to explain some of

351
00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:38,440
Speaker 3: these encounters from my point of view. She told me

352
00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:40,520
Speaker 3: that I was a poor sport, which I am and

353
00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:42,240
Speaker 3: agreed with her on and told her I would try

354
00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:44,680
Speaker 3: to be better about getting mad after I lose, and

355
00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:47,000
Speaker 3: then I needed to be more purposeful about my relationship

356
00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:49,320
Speaker 3: with her. I apologized again and tried to ask if

357
00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:51,440
Speaker 3: we could talk in person. She said she wasn't ready

358
00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:52,600
Speaker 3: for that, but would think about it.

359
00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:56,560
Speaker 4: Okay, so she wants to complain about you, but she

360
00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:57,560
Speaker 4: talk takes anything.

361
00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:01,760
Speaker 3: Thinking that this was behind us, entered into Thanksgiving. Brother

362
00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:04,040
Speaker 3: in law and Tiffany showed up to friend's house and

363
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:05,840
Speaker 3: husband and I were help and cook. I set a

364
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:08,160
Speaker 3: load to them and returned to cooking for the meal.

365
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:10,880
Speaker 3: I sat near the end of the table and tried

366
00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:13,040
Speaker 3: not to say anything but just nod my head. With

367
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:15,680
Speaker 3: the conversation. Brother in law and Tiffany started whispering in

368
00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:17,760
Speaker 3: each other's ears at the end of the table and

369
00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:20,440
Speaker 3: decided to leave shortly after dinner. I then received a

370
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:22,320
Speaker 3: message from my brother in law saying that I was

371
00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:25,320
Speaker 3: talking in codes and giving secret glances to friends and

372
00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:27,240
Speaker 3: husband at dinner. You were doing that.

373
00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:31,200
Speaker 1: You were the one whispering, whisper, whisper, whisper hiespur's whispers.

374
00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:33,280
Speaker 3: He told me that I was rude and that he

375
00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:35,800
Speaker 3: didn't appreciate the way I was treating Tiffany and making

376
00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:38,800
Speaker 3: her feel I broke down, crying and asked my husband

377
00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:42,000
Speaker 3: and friends what I did wrong. My husband was furious

378
00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:44,240
Speaker 3: and called my brother in law and started fighting with

379
00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:46,160
Speaker 3: him about the message he sent to me. My brother

380
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,880
Speaker 3: in law told husband that he was considering not talking

381
00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:51,280
Speaker 3: to either one of us any longer. I tried to

382
00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:53,800
Speaker 3: message Tiffany to ask her to talk to me in person,

383
00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:56,960
Speaker 3: and she returned my message by calling me the most

384
00:15:57,200 --> 00:16:00,240
Speaker 3: rude person she had ever met, and she had no

385
00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:02,600
Speaker 3: intentions of ever talking to me or being in the

386
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:03,280
Speaker 3: same room as me.

387
00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:08,160
Speaker 4: Again, Uh, this is annoying, so she just she can't

388
00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:10,360
Speaker 4: own up to it. She can't have a conversation. Whisker

389
00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:11,200
Speaker 4: can't be a DoLS.

390
00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:13,480
Speaker 3: I told her I didn't understand, and she told me

391
00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:15,960
Speaker 3: that it wasn't worth talking to me if I couldn't

392
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,600
Speaker 3: even begin to understand what I was doing wrong. After

393
00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:21,480
Speaker 3: discussing with husband what the best relationship mender would be,

394
00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:24,880
Speaker 3: we decided on family therapy. Tiffany did not attend. Brother

395
00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:26,920
Speaker 3: in law attacked my character and said that I was

396
00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:30,440
Speaker 3: selfish and rude and singling out Tiffany. I explained that

397
00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:33,160
Speaker 3: I couldn't understand what I was doing to make them

398
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:36,240
Speaker 3: feel this way and needed to talk things out in person.

399
00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:38,640
Speaker 3: Brother in law said Tiffany wasn't ready for it and

400
00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:41,200
Speaker 3: that she needed time. There is a little bit left

401
00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:43,600
Speaker 3: to this story. Do you have any thoughts?

402
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:46,280
Speaker 4: So we're just we're not getting two sides of the

403
00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:50,000
Speaker 4: story here. We're just Tiffany's the one we always believe. Huh, yeah,

404
00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:50,840
Speaker 4: what's up with that?

405
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just Tiffany, Tiffany Tiffany show.

406
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:56,560
Speaker 4: And every time Op tries to get one sentence, it's

407
00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:58,440
Speaker 4: just I'm not gonna hear it. No, you're rude.

408
00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:00,720
Speaker 3: Oh, he's like, oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize

409
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:02,640
Speaker 3: I hurt you. Let's talk about it.

410
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:03,000
Speaker 1: Yeah.

411
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:05,520
Speaker 4: Oh, he's doing the right thing too, trying to actually

412
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:08,000
Speaker 4: have a genuine conversation. I'm trying to figure out what's

413
00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:10,440
Speaker 4: going on. What did what did I do wrong? Why

414
00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:13,080
Speaker 4: do you not like me? Why are you making lies up?

415
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:17,399
Speaker 4: It just seems like my stating. It's frustrating. I feel

416
00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:20,440
Speaker 4: like someone said, she's projecting. I feel like she's jealous.

417
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:22,679
Speaker 3: I think, so, well, oh he's married.

418
00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:23,560
Speaker 1: Yeah she's not.

419
00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:24,720
Speaker 3: She's just the girlfriend.

420
00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:27,000
Speaker 4: Yeah she maybe she wants to be Maybe she's like

421
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,920
Speaker 4: a pick me child, yeah, and she just wants.

422
00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:30,080
Speaker 3: To be pick me my Bye.

423
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:30,600
Speaker 1: Please.

424
00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:33,119
Speaker 4: Yeah, and uh, she just wants to be the better

425
00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:35,720
Speaker 4: of attention. So if it if you can't have a

426
00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:38,920
Speaker 4: conversation with this brick wall, yeah, just walk away.

427
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:39,320
Speaker 1: Yeah.

428
00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:42,679
Speaker 3: No, I'm just picturing like a little Dickenzian orphan being like.

429
00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:45,919
Speaker 4: Pick me, pick me, peees man, I have some more pace.

430
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,920
Speaker 2: Beg me to be your child. I'm so much better

431
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,080
Speaker 2: than all the other orphans. Yes, but there is a

432
00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:51,680
Speaker 2: little bit left.

433
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:54,080
Speaker 3: Months go by and brother in law asks me to

434
00:17:54,119 --> 00:17:57,240
Speaker 3: reach out to Tiffany to apologize. I do. I tell

435
00:17:57,280 --> 00:17:59,800
Speaker 3: Tiffany that we seem to have different perceptions and that

436
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:01,960
Speaker 3: I I would really like to reach common ground and

437
00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:04,879
Speaker 3: understand her point of view better. She replied that she

438
00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:06,920
Speaker 3: would only meet with me if I offer her an

439
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:09,240
Speaker 3: then thea apology I told her I would.

440
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:10,560
Speaker 2: She then agreed to meet me.

441
00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:13,040
Speaker 3: A couple hours later, she texted me back and said

442
00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:15,159
Speaker 3: she didn't see a point in meaning after all. I

443
00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:17,560
Speaker 3: decided this was enough and she is committed to our

444
00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:19,960
Speaker 3: misunderstanding of one another. We are now moving back to

445
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,840
Speaker 3: our home city having not prepared our relationship. I'm not

446
00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:25,200
Speaker 3: sure what I can do and if I'm missing something

447
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:28,399
Speaker 3: about myself. Does anyone have any insight or advice they

448
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:30,600
Speaker 3: can lend to the situation. I don't want to cause

449
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:33,399
Speaker 3: any trouble for my husband and his relationship with his brother,

450
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:36,480
Speaker 3: but it seems we are all on not speaking terms anymore,

451
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:40,359
Speaker 3: and comments comment one says, your husband was present during

452
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:42,879
Speaker 3: some of these instances and even refutes the point of

453
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:45,679
Speaker 3: view of his brother's girlfriend. Opie's husband sees that, and

454
00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:48,280
Speaker 3: his brother can't understand that and won't If this is

455
00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:50,720
Speaker 3: his first real relationship in the years, then you know

456
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:53,680
Speaker 3: he's being manipulated by the girlfriend. He's achieving her objective

457
00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:56,400
Speaker 3: by putting a wedge between the brothers by attacking the OPE.

458
00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:58,680
Speaker 3: If anything, it seems that Tiffany feels threatened by the

459
00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:01,520
Speaker 3: OPI For some reason. Tifany believes that maybe she should

460
00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:04,119
Speaker 3: be the center of attention, even though she hasn't married

461
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:06,200
Speaker 3: into the family. If the brother in law is willing

462
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:08,720
Speaker 3: to cut off the family, especially his brother, then that

463
00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:12,080
Speaker 3: tells you how toxic Tiffany really is. Tiffany also makes

464
00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:15,159
Speaker 3: half hearted attempts to meet Ope to discuss everything, and

465
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:17,960
Speaker 3: then cancels at the last minute. She's going to ruin

466
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,399
Speaker 3: the brother in law's relationship with his own family, and

467
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:22,480
Speaker 3: until the brother in law snaps out of it, there's

468
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:25,320
Speaker 3: nothing the Opie or her husband can do because it

469
00:19:25,359 --> 00:19:28,119
Speaker 3: looks like tiffanys the brother in law wrapped around her finger.

470
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:30,120
Speaker 3: For now, I think the only one that you need

471
00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:32,679
Speaker 3: by your side is your husband. In the scheme of things,

472
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:35,240
Speaker 3: he was present and has defended you like a loyal

473
00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:37,720
Speaker 3: husband as I hope your in laws don't fall for

474
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:41,919
Speaker 3: Tiffany's lies and manipulation. God's speed comment to what the

475
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:45,560
Speaker 3: f stop apologizing? It's really concerning that it is blindingly

476
00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:48,040
Speaker 3: obvious that you're being bullied by people who are making

477
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:50,480
Speaker 3: crap up and you're actively lying on the floor to

478
00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:52,600
Speaker 3: make yourself into a doormat for them. Why are you

479
00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:55,399
Speaker 3: doing this? And that is the end of that story.

480
00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:55,879
Speaker 1: Uh?

481
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:57,000
Speaker 3: Any final thoughts?

482
00:19:57,119 --> 00:19:57,199
Speaker 1: Uh?

483
00:19:57,240 --> 00:20:00,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, I wanted to make a comment about Opie's husband. Yeah,

484
00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:05,000
Speaker 4: w husband, she'd be supporting. W support op But I

485
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,280
Speaker 4: think the best thing you can do and maybe call

486
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:09,680
Speaker 4: out the brother or brother in law in this case,

487
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,920
Speaker 4: is Hey, why don't we all just sit down?

488
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:12,280
Speaker 3: Yeah?

489
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:14,280
Speaker 4: How about all four of us sit down and we

490
00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:16,000
Speaker 4: actually have a But the problem.

491
00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:17,520
Speaker 3: Is that I think he has said that, and the

492
00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:19,400
Speaker 3: brother in law is like, she's not ready for that's

493
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:19,919
Speaker 3: not ready.

494
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:22,080
Speaker 4: For that, but she can make accusations and make lies

495
00:20:22,119 --> 00:20:22,960
Speaker 4: and she's ready for those.

496
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:25,760
Speaker 2: Okay, great, great, that's not true.

497
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:27,040
Speaker 3: Girl, that's not true.

498
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:31,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, blood is thicker than tiffany. Mm hmmm unless.

499
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:33,840
Speaker 3: Well, anyway, that's the end of that story.

500
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:38,960
Speaker 4: My husband excluded me from a trip that includes his

501
00:20:39,119 --> 00:20:39,880
Speaker 4: entire family.

502
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:41,679
Speaker 3: I guess you're not a family.

503
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:43,760
Speaker 4: My husband and I live in our city and his

504
00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:46,880
Speaker 4: parents are local. We see them usually every Sunday for dinner.

505
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:50,120
Speaker 4: They are retired and love road trips, so sometimes they're

506
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:50,680
Speaker 4: on the road.

507
00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:51,480
Speaker 1: By the way.

508
00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:54,040
Speaker 4: This concert user Lady Latitude and if you want to

509
00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:56,640
Speaker 4: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay,

510
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:59,840
Speaker 4: storytime subbured it. Generally, I like his parents, and I

511
00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:03,399
Speaker 4: think they like me. They are pretty conservative socially and politically,

512
00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:06,840
Speaker 4: and I'm firm well not, but we all get along

513
00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:09,480
Speaker 4: and care about each other. More on this dynamic later.

514
00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:12,520
Speaker 4: My husband has two siblings, a brother brother in law

515
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:14,240
Speaker 4: and a sister sister in law, who live a few

516
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:16,520
Speaker 4: states away from us and from each other. Brother in

517
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:21,080
Speaker 4: law is going through a long anticipated divorce Unfortunately, because

518
00:21:21,119 --> 00:21:23,359
Speaker 4: of the distance, my husband and brother in law have

519
00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:25,920
Speaker 4: demanding jobs, and how brother in law is now having

520
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:28,240
Speaker 4: to figure out childcare, which shared custody of his kids,

521
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:30,439
Speaker 4: they haven't really gotten the chance to talk about it

522
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:32,920
Speaker 4: or from my husband to offer brother in law support.

523
00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:36,159
Speaker 4: So since husband has the entire week off Thanksgiving, he

524
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:38,640
Speaker 4: decided he would go see his brother Saturday, the seventeenth,

525
00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:41,120
Speaker 4: and then through Tuesday the nineteenth. Then he'd come home

526
00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:43,400
Speaker 4: and we travel a few hundred miles to spend Thanksgiving

527
00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:46,880
Speaker 4: with my family. Okay, great, they're going to have quality

528
00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:49,520
Speaker 4: brother time. Husband and brother in law can tour breweries

529
00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:51,640
Speaker 4: and talk about how it hurts to go through divorce.

530
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,240
Speaker 4: My husband and I are both divorced and this is

531
00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:56,800
Speaker 4: our second marriage, so we get it. I never thought

532
00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:58,680
Speaker 4: to go because this was laid out as a time

533
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:01,040
Speaker 4: for brothers to hang out brother in law's and Yukondo.

534
00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:03,080
Speaker 4: Is it furnished, and I didn't want to stress amount

535
00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:05,600
Speaker 4: about playing host. I'm saving vacation days for a possible

536
00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:07,720
Speaker 4: Christmas trip with my husband that both my husband and

537
00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:09,200
Speaker 4: I are planning, and we're saving money to buy a

538
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:11,760
Speaker 4: place of our own. But once mother in law found

539
00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:14,639
Speaker 4: out she invited herself. This irritated me because he was

540
00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:18,160
Speaker 4: supposed to be a brother hangout. Neither husband nor brother

541
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,520
Speaker 4: in law are irritated, though, so I let it go.

542
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:22,920
Speaker 4: In a group text Wednesday morning, my mother in law

543
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:25,359
Speaker 4: says she and father in law are on their way

544
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:28,000
Speaker 4: and insert husband can't wait to see you Saturday an

545
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:30,919
Speaker 4: op will miss you. So I respond and say, is

546
00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:34,040
Speaker 4: father in law going? She says yes. I'm starting to

547
00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:36,200
Speaker 4: feel sad at this point because I was supposed to

548
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:38,640
Speaker 4: take father in law to get to Wally's on Sunday

549
00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:41,520
Speaker 4: while mother in law and husband are visiting brother in law.

550
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:43,479
Speaker 4: I guess no one was going to tell me he

551
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:47,440
Speaker 4: wouldn't be there. Well, turns out father in law is

552
00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:49,600
Speaker 4: now going. In fact, they are in the middle of

553
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,600
Speaker 4: Arizona with plans to drive through the fires in California.

554
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:54,960
Speaker 4: That's another BS post on its own. This is the

555
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:57,879
Speaker 4: group text me kind of jokingly. I didn't know this

556
00:22:58,000 --> 00:22:59,800
Speaker 4: was turning into a family vacation.

557
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:03,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's sister in law's birthday, so it works

558
00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:03,920
Speaker 3: out great.

559
00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:07,160
Speaker 4: Sister in law is going too, Yeah, she.

560
00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:09,240
Speaker 3: And new boyfriend are gonna meet us there.

561
00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:13,240
Speaker 4: And now I'm bawling in my office. I sent my

562
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:15,720
Speaker 4: husband a text. I guess everyone is going to see

563
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:18,160
Speaker 4: brother in law, but I'm sorry.

564
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:22,040
Speaker 2: You're welcome to com. I'm not against getting a second ticket.

565
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:23,320
Speaker 2: We can stay at a hotel.

566
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:26,840
Speaker 3: I can't help my parents are gonna go. I'm sorry, baby,

567
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:28,520
Speaker 3: I would really like you to.

568
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:29,400
Speaker 1: Come if you can.

569
00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:32,720
Speaker 4: So basically, there's this family vacation happening, and I'm not

570
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:35,400
Speaker 4: a part of it. No one, not even my husband,

571
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:38,800
Speaker 4: thought to invite me. I'm sorry, You're welcome to come

572
00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:42,159
Speaker 4: after I expressed discontent. Is not an invitation, it's a

573
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:45,280
Speaker 4: bone toss. How long has he known everyone was going?

574
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:47,159
Speaker 4: I don't know, He says he found out sister in

575
00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:49,960
Speaker 4: law and her boyfriend were going when I did.

576
00:23:50,119 --> 00:23:51,520
Speaker 3: Wait, that's even worse.

577
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:53,480
Speaker 2: Sorry, this changes everything.

578
00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:57,879
Speaker 3: No, I'd be like, why did everyone else get invited?

579
00:23:57,880 --> 00:23:59,560
Speaker 3: I would be a little bit. I would be more angry. Sorry,

580
00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:00,520
Speaker 3: I'd be more were angry.

581
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:03,840
Speaker 4: You think the husband would be angry too and express

582
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,399
Speaker 4: his discomfort or just be going with your family?

583
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:07,560
Speaker 2: Is your family goes by?

584
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:10,400
Speaker 3: If there goes by? Going out with your family and

585
00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:12,960
Speaker 3: still have a conversation with your husband, say, hey, really,

586
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:16,240
Speaker 3: don't appreciate not being included. Even if you didn't realize

587
00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:18,399
Speaker 3: that everyone was going, once you did, you should have.

588
00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:22,360
Speaker 4: And again, this is during the holidays, because this Thanksgiving time.

589
00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:25,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, boo boo this man.

590
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:27,680
Speaker 4: You would think the husband would be like, so, there's

591
00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:29,720
Speaker 4: a lot going on, there's a there's a huge message

592
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:30,840
Speaker 4: like everyone's going.

593
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:31,800
Speaker 2: What's going on?

594
00:24:32,359 --> 00:24:33,280
Speaker 4: I guess you're coming now.

595
00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:37,320
Speaker 3: It's totally possible that this was super last minute. Everyone

596
00:24:37,359 --> 00:24:39,520
Speaker 3: just kept inviting themselves and it was like, whoa, what's

597
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:41,360
Speaker 3: going on? They's supposed to be a brother trip. Yeah,

598
00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:43,680
Speaker 3: but once you find out that everyone's being invited, you

599
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:45,480
Speaker 3: might as well go to your wife and say, hey, like,

600
00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:47,080
Speaker 3: everyone's coming, do you want to come?

601
00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:47,639
Speaker 1: Yeah?

602
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:50,439
Speaker 4: How long has he known everyone was going? I don't know.

603
00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:52,520
Speaker 4: He says he found out sister in law and her

604
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:54,960
Speaker 4: boyfriend were going when I did. That might be true,

605
00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:58,080
Speaker 4: because sister in law is uphill and horrible at communication,

606
00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:00,880
Speaker 4: shocking with anyone other than mother in law. But if

607
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:03,560
Speaker 4: mother in law knew, why didn't she invite me? Why

608
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:06,000
Speaker 4: is no one saying, hey, oh he should be here too.

609
00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:09,720
Speaker 4: I'm heartbroken, y'all. I'm so sad and hurt. It's dang Friday,

610
00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:12,240
Speaker 4: and I've been crying and not sleeping since there's this

611
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:14,880
Speaker 4: whole other group text going on without me where they're

612
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:18,480
Speaker 4: planning stuff for the strip. WTF Am I being overly

613
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:19,920
Speaker 4: sensitive here? And there's an update?

614
00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:23,080
Speaker 3: No, you're not being sensitive. That's not cool. That's really

615
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:24,760
Speaker 3: not cool. And the fact that they still aren't making

616
00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:26,960
Speaker 3: an effort to include you is really messed up.

617
00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:29,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, and this time this does have a we saw it,

618
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:34,240
Speaker 4: there was it. The sister in law is a terrible communication.

619
00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:36,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you go to your but it doesn't

620
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:38,080
Speaker 3: like who cares if the sister in law is terrible

621
00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:41,080
Speaker 3: at communication or whoever is terrible at communication in this story,

622
00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:43,159
Speaker 3: your husband should be communicating with you.

623
00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:44,159
Speaker 1: Yeah, like it does.

624
00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:46,760
Speaker 3: You're not in a relationship with anybody else in the story.

625
00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:48,119
Speaker 4: I want to see what the husband says. Yeah, I

626
00:25:48,119 --> 00:25:48,520
Speaker 4: think you have.

627
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:50,560
Speaker 3: To have a big old conversation with him.

628
00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:53,560
Speaker 4: Update. A couple of other points that are relevant to consider. One,

629
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:56,119
Speaker 4: husband and I don't have kids. We tried for our

630
00:25:56,119 --> 00:25:58,399
Speaker 4: hearts into it got nothing in return. Maybe one day

631
00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:00,119
Speaker 4: we'll look at other ways to have a family, but

632
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:02,840
Speaker 4: for now we're happy to be done trying and focus

633
00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:05,600
Speaker 4: on each other, travel, save for a condo and other things.

634
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:08,160
Speaker 4: I know if I was the mother her grandbaby's mother

635
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:10,560
Speaker 4: in law would have included me. So all of this

636
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:14,040
Speaker 4: is feeding my insecurity relating to my infertility. Husband is

637
00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:16,680
Speaker 4: fertile af get to know, so maybe mother in law

638
00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:20,280
Speaker 4: feels slighted out of grandbabies. She'd never say that, because

639
00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:23,399
Speaker 4: no one owes their parents' grandkids. But maybe second point,

640
00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:25,480
Speaker 4: mother in law and father in law is on the

641
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:28,640
Speaker 4: discriminatory spectrum. They are white. I'm Latina. Sister in law

642
00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:31,159
Speaker 4: for many years at an Asian boyfriend. They broke up

643
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:33,280
Speaker 4: and sister in law started seeing another guy. Mother in

644
00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:36,600
Speaker 4: law was so efning excited about this new guy because

645
00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:39,399
Speaker 4: he was American. Actually he was a Canadian citizen, but

646
00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:42,080
Speaker 4: he was white. Funny, her Asian ex boyfriend was third

647
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:44,879
Speaker 4: generation American. There are other examples of this, but I

648
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,760
Speaker 4: think this gives you context regarding my feelings about being

649
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:50,200
Speaker 4: a member of this family. No one ever says anything

650
00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:53,840
Speaker 4: outright rude or discriminatory to me, and husband being white

651
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:56,520
Speaker 4: doesn't pick up on these subtleties. They may have opinions

652
00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:59,159
Speaker 4: about a non white population, but I know they like

653
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:01,960
Speaker 4: me as an individual. Third, I'm adopted. It's a long,

654
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:04,560
Speaker 4: dramatic story, but my birth mother abandoned me and her

655
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:07,600
Speaker 4: two older daughters in a Rundown apartment in nineteen eighty four.

656
00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:10,800
Speaker 4: When police found us, my sisters were dehydrated and my

657
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:14,120
Speaker 4: diaper had maggots. Their father took them and raised them,

658
00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:16,720
Speaker 4: but my father fled the country because he was Iranian

659
00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:18,639
Speaker 4: and it wasn't a good time to be Iranian in

660
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:23,280
Speaker 4: the States. So my godparents raised me. They were a

661
00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:26,120
Speaker 4: little rough, so I'm not close with them. I'm used

662
00:27:26,119 --> 00:27:29,600
Speaker 4: to family effing you over. I probably expected fourth. By

663
00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:31,920
Speaker 4: the time it all came out that everyone was going

664
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:33,920
Speaker 4: to visit brother in law, husband and I had decided

665
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:36,080
Speaker 4: that we would not do our Christmas trip this year

666
00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:38,840
Speaker 4: so we can save money for our home purchase. Five

667
00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:41,160
Speaker 4: Family trips are a thing with this family. We've all

668
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:43,080
Speaker 4: gone on a few at this point, so this isn't

669
00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:45,720
Speaker 4: some weird thing that's new and no one knows how

670
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:48,560
Speaker 4: to navigate. So Wednesday night comes and husband and I

671
00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:51,760
Speaker 4: talk about it and express how I feel unloved and unwanted.

672
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:53,639
Speaker 4: He says that no one tried to exclude me, but

673
00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:55,680
Speaker 4: I say, that's kind of the point. The opposite of

674
00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:59,040
Speaker 4: love isn't hate, it's indifference. And everyone was so indifferent

675
00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:00,679
Speaker 4: to me that they didn't even think to invite me.

676
00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:03,760
Speaker 4: Husband keeps insisting I should just go. It's like, that's

677
00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:05,159
Speaker 4: not the point, not the point.

678
00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:07,960
Speaker 3: It's like, yes, yes, maybe you can be, Like I understand,

679
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:10,560
Speaker 3: I really want you to go. But the fix here

680
00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:14,280
Speaker 3: isn't just go. The fix here is I totally understand

681
00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:17,240
Speaker 3: that I made you feel unloved and like neglect did

682
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:19,480
Speaker 3: I'm gonna do better in the future to make sure

683
00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:20,959
Speaker 3: that I include you.

684
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:22,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the fix.

685
00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:24,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, that I would bring up, Hey, does your family

686
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:26,520
Speaker 4: not like me? Did your family not think about me?

687
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:27,199
Speaker 4: What's up with that?

688
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:27,600
Speaker 1: Yeah?

689
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:28,679
Speaker 4: Yeah, what's going on.

690
00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:31,560
Speaker 3: It's like even the thing is even when people just

691
00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:34,680
Speaker 3: don't think, that's still hurtful. It's like, oh, yeah, they

692
00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:37,919
Speaker 3: maybe didn't do it intentionally, but still even an unintentional

693
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:40,280
Speaker 3: didn't think about me is hurt hurts me.

694
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:42,720
Speaker 4: But I don't want to go now. It feels weird.

695
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:44,800
Speaker 4: Maybe I'm the one that made it weird. No, but

696
00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:48,200
Speaker 4: I don't feel wanted there, that's for sure. Husband keeps saying,

697
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:51,320
Speaker 4: of course I'm wanted, that's a given, but he's just

698
00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:54,360
Speaker 4: not understanding my point of view or how other I

699
00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:57,080
Speaker 4: feel on so many levels. Also, if I went, we'd

700
00:28:57,120 --> 00:28:58,920
Speaker 4: have to stay at a hotel, and mother in law

701
00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:01,320
Speaker 4: hates when we do that because she likes everyone together

702
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:05,400
Speaker 4: under one roof. Should I just go? What do you think, Sofia,

703
00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:06,200
Speaker 4: should we just go?

704
00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:08,760
Speaker 3: I think that you haven't solved the problem here.

705
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:10,600
Speaker 4: Yes, I personally think.

706
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:12,280
Speaker 3: I think you can. I don't think you can go

707
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:15,080
Speaker 3: until he gets that this is the issue point, like

708
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:16,920
Speaker 3: he hasn't gotten the point yet. Well, but I think

709
00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:19,360
Speaker 3: if you don't go, you have to go do something fun, Like,

710
00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:22,640
Speaker 3: don't just go and mope at home, Like if you again,

711
00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:24,320
Speaker 3: if you can visit a family or something, or if

712
00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:26,120
Speaker 3: you can go on little weekend trip with your your

713
00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:28,520
Speaker 3: friends or something, do that. Yeah, if you're gonna stay

714
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:31,360
Speaker 3: home and mo then then go on the trip. But

715
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:33,960
Speaker 3: the best case scenario would be like go visit your

716
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:35,000
Speaker 3: family and do something fun.

717
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:37,760
Speaker 4: Anyway, this morning, husband blew up at me when I

718
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:41,000
Speaker 4: was crying for not validating his feelings in all of this.

719
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:43,440
Speaker 4: He says, he's been kissing my butt and trying to

720
00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:45,520
Speaker 4: make me feel better. For two days, I'm still all

721
00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:48,080
Speaker 4: sad and MOPI I just don't know what to do.

722
00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:51,120
Speaker 4: Like he's upset with me for continuing to be sad.

723
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:53,200
Speaker 4: I told him that was huge for me. I wasn't

724
00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:55,400
Speaker 4: just going to get over it quickly. He then planned

725
00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 4: this extravagant date night for us tonight, but I don't

726
00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:00,760
Speaker 4: want to go because hello, we're saving money. Also, I

727
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:03,920
Speaker 4: am sad. I won't have a good time. He's frustrated

728
00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:06,800
Speaker 4: because nothing is working. Why can't he just let me

729
00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:09,600
Speaker 4: be sad and cry. It's like he's irritated that I'm

730
00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:11,960
Speaker 4: still upset. But I feel I've got a right to

731
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,000
Speaker 4: feel how I feel. And there's a little bit left

732
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:17,640
Speaker 4: of this story, Sophia, where are we now?

733
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:18,240
Speaker 2: Your poison?

734
00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:20,959
Speaker 3: Tonic says he's acting like her emotions are a burden.

735
00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:23,800
Speaker 3: This isn't this isn't. The thing is he's not approaching this,

736
00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:27,280
Speaker 3: says hey, like, I'm sorry that my parents didn't think

737
00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:29,920
Speaker 3: about you. I'm sorry that I didn't think let's go.

738
00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:31,560
Speaker 3: Let's yeah. I want to cheer you up. I want

739
00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:33,680
Speaker 3: to do something nice for you. He has said, it's

740
00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:36,240
Speaker 3: not a big deal, just come on the trip, he said.

741
00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:40,640
Speaker 4: You know what he's saying. He's like, I'm doing this

742
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:42,160
Speaker 4: for me, yeah, not for you.

743
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:44,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's like, oh, like what you're not taking into

744
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:47,920
Speaker 3: like my feelings about having to baby you. It's like

745
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:53,360
Speaker 3: all of the nice things are proceeded with him bullying

746
00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:55,120
Speaker 3: her or like being rude to her.

747
00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:58,440
Speaker 4: It's like, I'm doing something I want something in return. Yeah. Yeah, like, oh,

748
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:00,840
Speaker 4: since I'm doing all these nice things for you, feel better,

749
00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:01,280
Speaker 4: feel better.

750
00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:01,720
Speaker 1: I don't care.

751
00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:04,400
Speaker 4: Aut'matically happy now he's just got to feel better. I

752
00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:06,520
Speaker 4: invited you to feel better. Yeah, I invited you to

753
00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:10,280
Speaker 4: this trip. You're welcome better. Problem solved, right, No.

754
00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:12,640
Speaker 2: It's like the issue oh he's dealing with is larger

755
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:13,320
Speaker 2: than this trip.

756
00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:13,880
Speaker 4: Mm hm.

757
00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:16,640
Speaker 3: She feels like your family does not think like love her,

758
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:18,440
Speaker 3: does not think about her, does not think of her

759
00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:19,000
Speaker 3: as family.

760
00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:22,200
Speaker 4: Someone said. Lady Chaos nineteen ninety two says victim mentality,

761
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:22,920
Speaker 4: shake my head.

762
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:24,880
Speaker 3: Do you mean that for which person? Do you mean

763
00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:25,080
Speaker 3: that for?

764
00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:27,360
Speaker 4: I wonder probably for the husband?

765
00:31:27,440 --> 00:31:30,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm thinking so. But yeah, we got a little

766
00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:30,680
Speaker 3: bit more.

767
00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:33,160
Speaker 4: I've accepted all of this as it is, but it's

768
00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:35,800
Speaker 4: not a switch. I can flip. Now he's saying he

769
00:31:35,840 --> 00:31:38,120
Speaker 4: wants to cancel the trip, But what's that going to

770
00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:40,800
Speaker 4: do other than piss mother in law off and make

771
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:43,160
Speaker 4: me feel even more out of place. I certainly don't

772
00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:45,200
Speaker 4: want him to cancel it, but he is convinced if

773
00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:48,640
Speaker 4: he doesn't go, it'll all be fine. Wrong right, Like

774
00:31:48,760 --> 00:31:51,280
Speaker 4: nothing's being done to make sure this doesn't happen again.

775
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:54,000
Speaker 4: I understand to a certain extent that I can't expect

776
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:56,360
Speaker 4: his family to love me the way he does. But

777
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:59,280
Speaker 4: it isn't his responsibility to stick up for me and say, hey,

778
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:01,400
Speaker 4: if this is a fly thing, y'all need to let

779
00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:03,800
Speaker 4: me know so I can include my wife. It's wrong

780
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:06,480
Speaker 4: to not include her. Geez. Even my brother in law

781
00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:08,280
Speaker 4: soon to be ex wife will be there.

782
00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:12,280
Speaker 3: That's the funniest thing. What That is the funniest thing

783
00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:16,320
Speaker 3: because the point of the trip was for Opie's husband

784
00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:19,920
Speaker 3: and the brother in law to get together and talk about.

785
00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:21,720
Speaker 4: Divorce and get over the divorce.

786
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:23,320
Speaker 2: But the wife is coming.

787
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:27,400
Speaker 4: What So everyone's invited, even the person who caused this.

788
00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:28,400
Speaker 2: Maybe you can't.

789
00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:30,360
Speaker 3: Come on the trip because he doesn't want to divorce you.

790
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:31,440
Speaker 4: But that's and that story.

791
00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:33,360
Speaker 2: Hey, John ogi host.

792
00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:35,200
Speaker 1: Here, we're gonna get back to this episode, but a

793
00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:37,480
Speaker 1: quick three minute break of ads from a sponsor's keeping

794
00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:38,080
Speaker 1: the show alive.

795
00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:41,360
Speaker 3: My sister in law made me keep a secret and

796
00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:43,440
Speaker 3: it totally ruined my marriage.

797
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:44,640
Speaker 1: Is it safe?

798
00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:46,440
Speaker 3: My husband and I have gone through a few things

799
00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:48,600
Speaker 3: in our four years together, but for the most part,

800
00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:51,800
Speaker 3: we've had a really good and solid relationship. Our problems

801
00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:56,600
Speaker 3: mostly stem from outside influences, as they usually do. For

802
00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:58,640
Speaker 3: the sake of the story, here are the names for

803
00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:03,800
Speaker 3: relevant people on my husband, Natalie, my husband's sister, Henry,

804
00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:07,400
Speaker 3: sister in law's boyfriend slash baby Daddy. By the way,

805
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:09,600
Speaker 3: this comes from an on throw six to seven and

806
00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:11,200
Speaker 3: if you want to sumit your own stories, go to

807
00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:14,160
Speaker 3: the r slash Okay storytime subverured it. So for a

808
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:16,800
Speaker 3: little background, I grew up as an only child, while

809
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:19,560
Speaker 3: my husband has quite a few siblings. I don't always

810
00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:22,800
Speaker 3: know how to handle this dynamics, especially when siblings argue

811
00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:26,480
Speaker 3: and fight. Natalie and I have a rocky relationship, very

812
00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:27,200
Speaker 3: hot and cold.

813
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:27,560
Speaker 1: Uh.

814
00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:30,200
Speaker 3: Sometimes we get along great and hang out, having a

815
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:32,920
Speaker 3: great time with a few girls' nights and such. Other

816
00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:36,360
Speaker 3: times we practically hate each other and she'll stab me

817
00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:38,640
Speaker 3: in the back with no questions asked. I've come to

818
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:41,440
Speaker 3: terms with this and thought I knew how to handle it. Also,

819
00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:44,560
Speaker 3: Natalie and Henry have an iffy relationship right now. She

820
00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:47,160
Speaker 3: isn't happy with him at all, but they have a

821
00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:49,400
Speaker 3: kid together, so she's doing her best in the situation.

822
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:53,160
Speaker 3: This comes into play later last weekend. Nat called John

823
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:55,120
Speaker 3: and me and wanted us to come down to the

824
00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:58,480
Speaker 3: bar and hang out, so we went. We were hanging out.

825
00:33:58,720 --> 00:34:01,120
Speaker 3: His dad was there for a bit but left and

826
00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:03,600
Speaker 3: recalled John saying we should all come down to his

827
00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:04,959
Speaker 3: garage and hang out.

828
00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:06,480
Speaker 2: We were for it, but Nat.

829
00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:08,520
Speaker 3: And I had just gotten refills, so we decided John

830
00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:10,880
Speaker 3: would go then and when Nat and I were done,

831
00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:12,719
Speaker 3: she would take me back to the garage for us

832
00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:17,600
Speaker 3: to hang out. All fine and dandy, right wrong. This

833
00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:20,080
Speaker 3: is where things took a turn for the worst. Now,

834
00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:22,400
Speaker 3: in the past, when Nat and I have had girls'

835
00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:26,000
Speaker 3: nights alone at the bar, there is this guy, Oscar

836
00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:28,279
Speaker 3: who will come around and try to flirt with us.

837
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:31,400
Speaker 3: Typically he focuses on Nat, which is fine by me.

838
00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:33,719
Speaker 3: She is her own person to make her own decisions.

839
00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:37,760
Speaker 3: Usually he comes over shares some laughs, and everyone leaves.

840
00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:39,800
Speaker 3: I figured tonight would be much the same when he

841
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:42,680
Speaker 3: approached us. After John left, we ended up kind of

842
00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:45,760
Speaker 3: merging with Oscar's group. When I wanted to play some pool.

843
00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:49,080
Speaker 3: Oscar kept flirting, only this time he was trying to

844
00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:53,719
Speaker 3: flirt with me too, and we all kept drinking. Everything

845
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:56,720
Speaker 3: was fine until it was time for the bar to close.

846
00:34:57,160 --> 00:34:58,960
Speaker 3: Nat was adamant that she did not want to go

847
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:02,000
Speaker 3: home yet stop right here to emphasize the fact that

848
00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:04,880
Speaker 3: Nat had become my ride. When John left, one of

849
00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:07,480
Speaker 3: the people in Oscar's group suggested we all head back

850
00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:08,879
Speaker 3: to their house and hang out in.

851
00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:10,960
Speaker 2: Their garage elite hangout spot.

852
00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:13,920
Speaker 3: I was not comfortable with this idea at all. We

853
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:16,319
Speaker 3: don't know these people outside of the bar, and going

854
00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:18,560
Speaker 3: on with strangers is not my idea of fun.

855
00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:19,520
Speaker 2: Ooh, you're boring.

856
00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:22,520
Speaker 3: Plus, our men were waiting for us and would not

857
00:35:22,719 --> 00:35:23,680
Speaker 3: be happy about that.

858
00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:26,120
Speaker 1: Okay, well that's that is also fair. If you have

859
00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:28,960
Speaker 1: got your barns are waiting for you, you can't just

860
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:30,440
Speaker 1: go to the stranger's.

861
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:34,400
Speaker 3: Garage or well, she's got a is this her husband?

862
00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:36,880
Speaker 1: But I do fully condone making new friends at the

863
00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:38,840
Speaker 1: bar and then going and hang out at their garage.

864
00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:40,000
Speaker 2: That sounds like fun.

865
00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:42,480
Speaker 3: But Nat was all for it. Here's where the first

866
00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:43,680
Speaker 3: major mistake was made.

867
00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:44,080
Speaker 4: That night.

868
00:35:44,239 --> 00:35:46,719
Speaker 3: I told Natalie that wherever she went, I was going

869
00:35:46,719 --> 00:35:48,680
Speaker 3: to go with her. She was my ride and I

870
00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:51,200
Speaker 3: was not letting her go anywhere alone. Between the two

871
00:35:51,239 --> 00:35:53,239
Speaker 3: of us, I was the most sober, and I knew

872
00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:56,560
Speaker 3: Oscar wanted in her pants. What I should have done

873
00:35:56,840 --> 00:35:59,040
Speaker 3: was called my husband to tell them what was happening

874
00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:00,480
Speaker 3: so we could come get us, or at the very

875
00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:01,760
Speaker 3: least me Yeah.

876
00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:02,240
Speaker 2: True.

877
00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:05,160
Speaker 3: The bar closed and the guys led us to their car.

878
00:36:05,560 --> 00:36:08,480
Speaker 3: Nat hopped right in Are you guys being kidnapped? I

879
00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:11,080
Speaker 3: stayed in the door, hoping to God she would see reason,

880
00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:13,040
Speaker 3: snap out of it and take us home. She told

881
00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:14,480
Speaker 3: me I didn't have to come if I didn't want

882
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:16,319
Speaker 3: to go, but I repeated the fact that I was

883
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:18,920
Speaker 3: not going to let her go anywhere alone. She wouldn't

884
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:21,080
Speaker 3: get out of the car, so reluctantly I got in.

885
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:24,200
Speaker 3: Major mistake number two. They drove us to the house.

886
00:36:24,520 --> 00:36:26,560
Speaker 3: Nat and I stayed in the car, where I tried

887
00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:28,760
Speaker 3: to talk her out of this, again, saying they needed

888
00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:31,399
Speaker 3: to just drive us back. She suggested a walk down

889
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:34,160
Speaker 3: the street so she could throw up, sober up, and

890
00:36:34,239 --> 00:36:35,880
Speaker 3: we could figure out what we were going to do.

891
00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:38,200
Speaker 1: That is the most logic I've ever heard.

892
00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:39,400
Speaker 2: They're like, we should.

893
00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:42,600
Speaker 1: Go home, and they're like, no, no, wait, no, I'm gonna

894
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:45,400
Speaker 1: go throw up over there and then I'll be right

895
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:46,200
Speaker 1: to make a plan.

896
00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:48,960
Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, oh, dude, you're not in planning mode.

897
00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:51,040
Speaker 2: You're in go home and go to sleep mode. That's

898
00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:51,520
Speaker 2: what we did.

899
00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:52,400
Speaker 1: She threw up.

900
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:54,240
Speaker 3: I walked us back, and I told them they needed

901
00:36:54,239 --> 00:36:55,919
Speaker 3: to take us back to the bar so we could

902
00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:58,200
Speaker 3: go home. We both agreed this was a really stupid

903
00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:00,400
Speaker 3: thing to have done and it would never happen again.

904
00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:04,239
Speaker 3: She wouldn't leave though, without Oscar, so I made him

905
00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:06,239
Speaker 3: get in the car so we could go. Unfortunately, he

906
00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:09,040
Speaker 3: sat in the back with me and was getting super handsy,

907
00:37:09,239 --> 00:37:11,839
Speaker 3: trying to kiss me. I said no and pushed him

908
00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:13,719
Speaker 3: to his side. But I don't know what she saw

909
00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:15,240
Speaker 3: or remembers about that ride.

910
00:37:15,239 --> 00:37:17,080
Speaker 2: Man, you got to give that guy the people's elbow.

911
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:20,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, as soon as the car turns, like you gotta

912
00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:23,480
Speaker 1: go oh ooh oh.

913
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:25,360
Speaker 2: Sorry it was a hard turn. I didn't realize my

914
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:26,520
Speaker 2: elbow hit your face.

915
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:28,600
Speaker 3: We got back and she said that we shouldn't tell

916
00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:31,239
Speaker 3: the boys that bout had happened. They would get mad,

917
00:37:32,680 --> 00:37:35,920
Speaker 3: and we agreed it would never happen again. While I

918
00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:38,279
Speaker 3: didn't like that idea, I knew they would get mad,

919
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:41,040
Speaker 3: but grudgingly I agreed, I wouldn't say anything if she

920
00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:45,400
Speaker 3: didn't major mistake number three at a certain point, at

921
00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:48,920
Speaker 3: a certain number of mistakes. Yeah, you're a little bit

922
00:37:48,920 --> 00:37:54,239
Speaker 3: the alayer. She is the thing. She's making erald decisions

923
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:59,520
Speaker 3: they are. I think that that's also pretty irresponsible. If

924
00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:02,880
Speaker 3: you have two people, one of which drove, and neither

925
00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:05,359
Speaker 3: of you are sober, Like, you don't have any sort

926
00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:06,160
Speaker 3: of d D here.

927
00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:09,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, you've taken a ride to stranger Land, which, again

928
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:12,880
Speaker 1: under different conditions than this, I fully condone making it

929
00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:15,359
Speaker 1: a new friend. Yeah, hang out. But these people sound

930
00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:18,719
Speaker 1: maybe he kind of gross. Yeah, and you guys are,

931
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:23,120
Speaker 1: And I think we need to normalize man handling your

932
00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:25,520
Speaker 1: obnoxiously wasted friends.

933
00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:27,720
Speaker 2: She's like, I don't want to get out of the car,

934
00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:28,479
Speaker 2: and they.

935
00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:31,360
Speaker 1: Said, get to go, too bad, my You get to

936
00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:33,480
Speaker 1: feel what it's like to come out of that car.

937
00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:36,720
Speaker 3: Now, yeah, exactly, it's like, get get out of those situations.

938
00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:39,960
Speaker 3: I did, however, make that agree that we couldn't be

939
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:41,840
Speaker 3: at the bar alone, just the two of us anymore.

940
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:45,360
Speaker 3: All seemed fine several days past, and life was normal

941
00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:48,320
Speaker 3: until about two days ago when John came home early

942
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:51,080
Speaker 3: from work demanding to know what happened some when I

943
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:53,040
Speaker 3: told him they saw us get in and leave with

944
00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:55,480
Speaker 3: this group. So I told him exactly what happened, But

945
00:38:55,520 --> 00:38:57,560
Speaker 3: of course Natalie told him that I was egging her

946
00:38:57,600 --> 00:39:01,560
Speaker 3: on and encouraging her to do that. Obviously, was furious,

947
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:04,360
Speaker 3: and I don't blame him, but got even more upset

948
00:39:04,360 --> 00:39:06,680
Speaker 3: because he was being forced to choose between believing me

949
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:07,960
Speaker 3: and believing his family.

950
00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:09,960
Speaker 2: She was very wasted.

951
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:11,120
Speaker 1: What do you mean?

952
00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:15,320
Speaker 3: Like, what do you mean believing her believing family? I

953
00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:16,799
Speaker 3: just been like, no, she was.

954
00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:23,080
Speaker 1: Really, she was really wasted believing the incapacitated woman. What

955
00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:30,359
Speaker 1: so strange? Who's hearing a louy? We were And they're like,

956
00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:31,680
Speaker 1: she's telling the truth.

957
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:32,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, well I think she was.

958
00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:34,399
Speaker 3: When she's recounting this, she's not.

959
00:39:34,440 --> 00:39:37,080
Speaker 2: Maybe no, she's that's just like that all the time.

960
00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:40,280
Speaker 3: Dang. I never asked him to choose and I never would.

961
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:42,400
Speaker 3: He said he can't handle being forced to choose between

962
00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:44,439
Speaker 3: me and his family anymore, and if it happens again,

963
00:39:44,520 --> 00:39:47,080
Speaker 3: he's choosing himself and leaving all parties. We ended up

964
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:49,960
Speaker 3: working it out and things are good. We made agreements

965
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:52,719
Speaker 3: regarding future nights out that we may have. But now

966
00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:55,359
Speaker 3: my anxiety is through the roof. He didn't come home

967
00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:57,520
Speaker 3: from work. All I got was a text about two

968
00:39:57,560 --> 00:40:00,279
Speaker 3: hours later than he would have been home, saying he

969
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:02,520
Speaker 3: was with his dad and would be home later. It's

970
00:40:02,520 --> 00:40:05,120
Speaker 3: been hours and he still isn't home. I'm getting worried.

971
00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:09,120
Speaker 3: I'm sure the situation either has been or is being discussed.

972
00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:11,879
Speaker 3: I'm already non favor after his brother in law tried

973
00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:13,839
Speaker 3: to force himself on me two years ago.

974
00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:15,240
Speaker 1: What what?

975
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:19,000
Speaker 2: Why? Whoa we need to get out of I'm sorry.

976
00:40:18,719 --> 00:40:20,600
Speaker 3: Did he not defend you after that happened?

977
00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:24,120
Speaker 2: Need new friends and a new partner.

978
00:40:24,239 --> 00:40:26,400
Speaker 3: I got blamed because I shouldn't have been there in

979
00:40:26,440 --> 00:40:29,200
Speaker 3: the first place, even though we live fifty eight feet

980
00:40:29,239 --> 00:40:31,680
Speaker 3: apart and we're all having a fire in the backyard.

981
00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:33,759
Speaker 3: But whatever, let bygones be guygones.

982
00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:34,360
Speaker 1: No.

983
00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:39,280
Speaker 3: I feel like, oh, he has this kind of normalized sense,

984
00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:41,839
Speaker 3: because this not only happened with the brother in law,

985
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:44,680
Speaker 3: but it also happened with Oscar where they tried to

986
00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:47,520
Speaker 3: kiss her or something and she was like no, and

987
00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:50,879
Speaker 3: then she she feels like, oh, she did something wrong.

988
00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:54,720
Speaker 1: It's like, no, normalize palm strikes to the nasal bridge.

989
00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:58,440
Speaker 3: It's like, these people are not good people. And if

990
00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:01,239
Speaker 3: your partner is not standing up for you, or the

991
00:41:01,239 --> 00:41:03,120
Speaker 3: people around you are not standing up for you, then

992
00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:05,120
Speaker 3: you need to get them out of your life. But

993
00:41:05,239 --> 00:41:07,680
Speaker 3: I can't handle this drama. I just want to live

994
00:41:07,719 --> 00:41:09,759
Speaker 3: our lives. I don't know what to do. I don't

995
00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:12,160
Speaker 3: know how to make this easier for John. I don't

996
00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:14,360
Speaker 3: know how to handle the seesaw with his sister. It

997
00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:17,239
Speaker 3: seems with his sisters, this hot and cold relationship is

998
00:41:17,239 --> 00:41:19,360
Speaker 3: pretty normal. But I'm not a sister. I'm just the

999
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:22,040
Speaker 3: woman he married, so it always comes out worse for me.

1000
00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:24,359
Speaker 2: I'm just a yeah. It's like.

1001
00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:29,319
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so good. Oh, piece like oh, I don't

1002
00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:31,560
Speaker 3: get any say because I'm just his wife. I can't

1003
00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:33,000
Speaker 3: come between him and his family.

1004
00:41:33,480 --> 00:41:37,480
Speaker 1: As the Lord is dictated again no skin in the

1005
00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:38,000
Speaker 1: game here.

1006
00:41:38,640 --> 00:41:41,040
Speaker 3: It's clearly putting a strain on him, and I don't

1007
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:44,279
Speaker 3: want that. Sometimes I think it maybe would just be

1008
00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:47,000
Speaker 3: easier for him if I left. But at the same time,

1009
00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:49,560
Speaker 3: if it ever happens, I want us to part because

1010
00:41:49,560 --> 00:41:52,160
Speaker 3: we felt it was what was best, not because of

1011
00:41:52,200 --> 00:41:56,480
Speaker 3: outside influence. Like this, it's not outside influence, it's your partner.

1012
00:41:56,760 --> 00:42:01,879
Speaker 3: It's your partner's reactions. Like all almost all problems are

1013
00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:04,640
Speaker 3: caused by out some sort of outside influence, and it's

1014
00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:07,400
Speaker 3: how you and your partner react to those.

1015
00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:11,640
Speaker 1: It's true, I'm putting myself in that guy's shoes right now, though,

1016
00:42:11,719 --> 00:42:14,719
Speaker 1: And if my wife did go out and lead to

1017
00:42:14,760 --> 00:42:17,520
Speaker 1: a stranger's house and caused all this stuff, I would

1018
00:42:17,560 --> 00:42:21,560
Speaker 1: be very much like, why why didn't you just call me?

1019
00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:23,120
Speaker 2: I wouldn't be annoyed.

1020
00:42:23,239 --> 00:42:25,239
Speaker 1: But if she was like there was this guy, yeah,

1021
00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:28,280
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be like and that's also your fault, exactly,

1022
00:42:28,719 --> 00:42:31,080
Speaker 1: like all right, find that guy.

1023
00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:33,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I think.

1024
00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:35,920
Speaker 3: My take would be like, oh my god, like like please, like,

1025
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:37,759
Speaker 3: next time, just call me in the situation, because I

1026
00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:39,279
Speaker 3: don't want you to put yourself like I don't want

1027
00:42:39,280 --> 00:42:40,800
Speaker 3: you to be put in a dangerous situation.

1028
00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:44,759
Speaker 2: Your fault that that guy tried to kiss you right, no,

1029
00:42:45,040 --> 00:42:45,440
Speaker 2: call me.

1030
00:42:45,880 --> 00:42:46,120
Speaker 4: No.

1031
00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:50,680
Speaker 1: She didn't even want to go, but she felt like sheet,

1032
00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:52,960
Speaker 1: I can't get her out of the car exactly.

1033
00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:54,120
Speaker 2: That's where.

1034
00:42:55,760 --> 00:42:59,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you could have grabbed that arm and yanked, yeah,

1035
00:42:59,640 --> 00:43:01,520
Speaker 1: and she would have come out of that car. Yeah.

1036
00:43:01,560 --> 00:43:03,560
Speaker 3: I feel like the fact that your brother, I mean, sir,

1037
00:43:03,640 --> 00:43:07,480
Speaker 3: your husband isn't listening. Your brother husband, that your husband

1038
00:43:07,600 --> 00:43:10,480
Speaker 3: isn't listening to the fact that I don't did if you,

1039
00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:17,440
Speaker 3: I hope you explain this. Your your his sister was wasted,

1040
00:43:18,080 --> 00:43:20,800
Speaker 3: and you did not want to leave her alone.

1041
00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:22,520
Speaker 2: You felt that you had no choice.

1042
00:43:24,400 --> 00:43:27,280
Speaker 3: You were watching out for her, like you were trying

1043
00:43:27,320 --> 00:43:30,600
Speaker 3: to protect her. I know a lot went wrong that night,

1044
00:43:30,640 --> 00:43:33,320
Speaker 3: and one phone call could have avoided the entire situation.

1045
00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:35,600
Speaker 3: I have admitted all my faults for that night and

1046
00:43:35,680 --> 00:43:39,080
Speaker 3: apologized profusely. I also learned a great deal from it.

1047
00:43:39,239 --> 00:43:41,000
Speaker 3: I tried to do what I thought was right in

1048
00:43:41,040 --> 00:43:43,319
Speaker 3: the situation and not leave his sister, leave that bar

1049
00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:45,960
Speaker 3: with those guys alone. But I still did the wrong thing,

1050
00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:48,200
Speaker 3: and that a complete loss. I don't know what to do.

1051
00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:51,160
Speaker 3: I moved past him cheating on me two years ago

1052
00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:52,040
Speaker 3: before we.

1053
00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:54,200
Speaker 1: Were married, Oh, well, you guys weren't married, so that

1054
00:43:54,200 --> 00:43:54,759
Speaker 1: didn't come.

1055
00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:56,319
Speaker 2: He doesn't know that.

1056
00:43:56,520 --> 00:43:57,000
Speaker 1: I know.

1057
00:43:58,120 --> 00:44:01,200
Speaker 3: Wait why he doesn't know that? I know, but I do.

1058
00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:05,000
Speaker 3: I gave him a move past it. You can't move

1059
00:44:05,239 --> 00:44:07,720
Speaker 3: past something that you never talked about.

1060
00:44:08,760 --> 00:44:12,239
Speaker 1: I actually can't. I can't. Your husband suck with this?

1061
00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:12,880
Speaker 1: Your husband?

1062
00:44:13,160 --> 00:44:15,839
Speaker 3: Why did you marry a man who cheated on you

1063
00:44:15,920 --> 00:44:19,000
Speaker 3: and never owned up to it? He doesn't know that.

1064
00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:19,560
Speaker 1: You know?

1065
00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:21,359
Speaker 2: You suck for that too.

1066
00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:24,719
Speaker 3: Oh my god, that's a self a guy. It's a

1067
00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:25,600
Speaker 3: self a hole.

1068
00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:28,640
Speaker 1: This is a I'm sorry that you have no self respect.

1069
00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:33,920
Speaker 1: That's something that happens and it's unfortunate. But that's you

1070
00:44:34,480 --> 00:44:38,520
Speaker 1: are sucking. That sucks for you. So get out what

1071
00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:38,840
Speaker 1: you do.

1072
00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:41,799
Speaker 3: But I'm starting to wonder if this is it the

1073
00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:43,279
Speaker 3: beginning of the end for us.

1074
00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:43,600
Speaker 2: Girl.

1075
00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:47,080
Speaker 3: We've been in the epilogue for twenty chapters.

1076
00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:50,280
Speaker 2: You are currently buried under six feet of dirt.

1077
00:44:50,719 --> 00:44:51,400
Speaker 1: It is over.

1078
00:44:51,840 --> 00:44:54,320
Speaker 2: It's been over. There's an update.

1079
00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:59,200
Speaker 3: But wow, oh pee, you need so much intense therapy

1080
00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:02,920
Speaker 3: because not only are you accepting random men trying to

1081
00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:05,040
Speaker 3: kiss you, which is not okay.

1082
00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:08,279
Speaker 1: Got to give them the people's opening. You gotta give

1083
00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:08,799
Speaker 1: them no.

1084
00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:11,080
Speaker 3: I mean, like I understand that, like O to be

1085
00:45:11,200 --> 00:45:14,440
Speaker 3: ver op did say like ah no, But like I'm saying,

1086
00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:18,240
Speaker 3: she's accepting. In her mind, she's like, oh, well by gones,

1087
00:45:18,239 --> 00:45:19,040
Speaker 3: be by gone, or.

1088
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:22,080
Speaker 2: She's like, well that was my fault to be like

1089
00:45:22,080 --> 00:45:23,240
Speaker 2: and this is my fault.

1090
00:45:23,520 --> 00:45:26,000
Speaker 3: And of course this is the people around her telling it,

1091
00:45:26,120 --> 00:45:27,440
Speaker 3: telling her that it's her fault.

1092
00:45:27,560 --> 00:45:29,720
Speaker 2: But she needs therapy, because girl, it's not your faults.

1093
00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:34,160
Speaker 3: It's not your faults. You don't want that and that's okay.

1094
00:45:35,040 --> 00:45:38,320
Speaker 3: And anyone who's saying like, oh, you should have called,

1095
00:45:38,360 --> 00:45:40,640
Speaker 3: and because you called, you didn't call, you deserve that.

1096
00:45:40,760 --> 00:45:41,720
Speaker 3: It's like, No.

1097
00:45:42,239 --> 00:45:44,719
Speaker 1: I wonder if she just got married really young and

1098
00:45:44,760 --> 00:45:46,400
Speaker 1: it was like a thing where she's like I can't

1099
00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:50,160
Speaker 1: back out, yeah, and then it just became like a well,

1100
00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:50,759
Speaker 1: this is it.

1101
00:45:50,760 --> 00:45:52,160
Speaker 2: It's just it is what it is now.

1102
00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:55,520
Speaker 3: I also think it's interesting that she, like someone in

1103
00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:57,040
Speaker 3: the chat says, like, why is she hanging out with

1104
00:45:57,080 --> 00:45:59,520
Speaker 3: these people? But I'm wondering why she's hanging out with

1105
00:45:59,520 --> 00:46:03,680
Speaker 3: a sister when she said she doesn't like her. I

1106
00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:06,440
Speaker 3: don't think you like, are obligated to hang out with

1107
00:46:06,480 --> 00:46:10,560
Speaker 3: your partner's siblings, especially one on one. Yeah, so I'm like,

1108
00:46:10,600 --> 00:46:12,080
Speaker 3: why are you hanging out with someone you don't like

1109
00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:14,240
Speaker 3: who has It's just like a bad im ages.

1110
00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:17,320
Speaker 1: Mommy Dessert says, I'm seeing an age gap. I'm calling it.

1111
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:17,759
Speaker 1: Let's see.

1112
00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:18,640
Speaker 3: It feels like that you.

1113
00:46:20,120 --> 00:46:21,480
Speaker 4: Won't place any bets.

1114
00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:23,279
Speaker 2: I got no bag.

1115
00:46:23,480 --> 00:46:27,680
Speaker 3: I think she is twenty four and he is thirty one.

1116
00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:33,719
Speaker 4: All right, Opie is twenty two, husband thirty three, twenty four?

1117
00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:37,799
Speaker 3: Okay, well I was almost I got twenty four right. Yeah,

1118
00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:41,080
Speaker 3: I got one number right, just the wrong place. But

1119
00:46:41,120 --> 00:46:44,560
Speaker 3: there is an update. So that night John didn't come

1120
00:46:44,560 --> 00:46:48,440
Speaker 3: home at all. He wouldn't answer any text messages or

1121
00:46:48,520 --> 00:46:51,319
Speaker 3: phone calls. I stayed up all night Whereri's sick, because

1122
00:46:51,360 --> 00:46:53,359
Speaker 3: I didn't even know if he was okay or if

1123
00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:55,920
Speaker 3: something had happened. He returned home the next day at

1124
00:46:55,920 --> 00:46:58,520
Speaker 3: ten thirty in the morning. At first, he refused to

1125
00:46:58,560 --> 00:47:00,799
Speaker 3: talk to me. When I finally got to it turned

1126
00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:03,759
Speaker 3: into a big fight, probably the biggest one we've ever had.

1127
00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:05,360
Speaker 1: I wonder if it was bigger than the one you

1128
00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:07,080
Speaker 1: would have had if you called him out for cheating

1129
00:47:07,080 --> 00:47:10,800
Speaker 1: on you. It's really sticking with me it's huge.

1130
00:47:11,480 --> 00:47:13,480
Speaker 2: That's crazy, say like, oh yeah, I forgave him.

1131
00:47:14,320 --> 00:47:17,719
Speaker 1: If you never spoke about it, that's not that's impossible.

1132
00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:18,280
Speaker 1: That works.

1133
00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:21,640
Speaker 3: This is what I've discovered happened. That night he was missing.

1134
00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:24,680
Speaker 3: John was at the bar with Natalie, his father, and

1135
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:28,000
Speaker 3: his other older sister, Amanda. Natalie told everyone that what

1136
00:47:28,160 --> 00:47:31,360
Speaker 3: happened was all my idea, that she was so wasted,

1137
00:47:31,440 --> 00:47:33,560
Speaker 3: she didn't know what was happening, and she basically went

1138
00:47:33,560 --> 00:47:36,640
Speaker 3: along for the ride because I was encouraging her. Amanda said,

1139
00:47:36,960 --> 00:47:39,960
Speaker 3: Natalie has always spun stories to make herself look like

1140
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:42,000
Speaker 3: the good guy, and that she could see through the

1141
00:47:42,080 --> 00:47:44,960
Speaker 3: lies and bs in her story, so she asked me

1142
00:47:45,120 --> 00:47:48,400
Speaker 3: my side, which I really appreciated. John's father also encouraged

1143
00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:50,920
Speaker 3: him to get a divorce. He told John that he

1144
00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:54,240
Speaker 3: was better and deserved better than me. John also started

1145
00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:56,399
Speaker 3: going off about it. If I knew Oscar was told

1146
00:47:56,400 --> 00:47:58,640
Speaker 3: to stay away, why was I talking to him? Which

1147
00:47:58,680 --> 00:48:00,760
Speaker 3: had me really confused because I I had no idea

1148
00:48:00,800 --> 00:48:03,080
Speaker 3: what he was talking about. Apparently, the first time Oscar

1149
00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:05,600
Speaker 3: approached Natalie and me, almost a year ago, his dad

1150
00:48:05,680 --> 00:48:07,680
Speaker 3: was not happy about it at all. It was just

1151
00:48:07,719 --> 00:48:09,840
Speaker 3: friendly getting to know a person small talk, but I

1152
00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:12,279
Speaker 3: guess John's dad didn't see it that way. After Nat

1153
00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:14,600
Speaker 3: and I left, apparently he pulled Oscar to the side

1154
00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:17,120
Speaker 3: and told him to stay away, which, thinking about it,

1155
00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:19,839
Speaker 3: now makes sense that Oscar never approached us unless we

1156
00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:22,240
Speaker 3: were alone at the bar. But I didn't know about

1157
00:48:22,239 --> 00:48:26,080
Speaker 3: this altercation. Hindsight is twenty twenty. I suppose John also

1158
00:48:26,200 --> 00:48:28,400
Speaker 3: threw the situation with his brother in law back at me,

1159
00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:30,719
Speaker 3: using it as a strike against my record, and to

1160
00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:33,000
Speaker 3: be honest, that seriously hurt me. I told him what

1161
00:48:33,040 --> 00:48:34,680
Speaker 3: his brother in law tried to do to me. I

1162
00:48:34,719 --> 00:48:37,080
Speaker 3: told everyone what he tried to do. But John said

1163
00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:39,120
Speaker 3: that he wasn't there, so he doesn't know what or

1164
00:48:39,160 --> 00:48:40,680
Speaker 3: who to believe about the events of the night.

1165
00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:47,520
Speaker 2: Again again, again with his Again he's going.

1166
00:48:47,480 --> 00:48:51,239
Speaker 3: Oh, well, you said one thing and my sibling shit

1167
00:48:51,239 --> 00:48:53,480
Speaker 3: another thing, so I'm gonna believe them.

1168
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:55,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, John, with another cool guy, move right there.

1169
00:48:56,200 --> 00:48:59,640
Speaker 3: If you dre you move with your wife, then why

1170
00:48:59,680 --> 00:49:01,200
Speaker 3: are you you married to her?

1171
00:49:02,040 --> 00:49:04,880
Speaker 2: Because she's a liar and I like garbage. I like

1172
00:49:04,960 --> 00:49:08,719
Speaker 2: that she lies. I like to I like liars, I

1173
00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:09,200
Speaker 2: like it.

1174
00:49:09,680 --> 00:49:15,600
Speaker 1: I don't understand that she's not lying in in that fight.

1175
00:49:15,719 --> 00:49:17,759
Speaker 3: He also told me that he has zero trust in me,

1176
00:49:17,840 --> 00:49:20,440
Speaker 3: which also really hurts. I've never given him a reason

1177
00:49:20,520 --> 00:49:23,360
Speaker 3: to not trust me. Anytime a guy tried getting handsy

1178
00:49:23,480 --> 00:49:25,600
Speaker 3: or anything with me, I always told him about it

1179
00:49:25,640 --> 00:49:27,400
Speaker 3: as soon as I could. Is it my fault that

1180
00:49:27,440 --> 00:49:29,520
Speaker 3: whenever it did happen, like the guy tried something when

1181
00:49:29,600 --> 00:49:32,000
Speaker 3: John wasn't with me, I walked away and if they

1182
00:49:32,040 --> 00:49:34,640
Speaker 3: followed me, I put myself with someone else that I trust.

1183
00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:37,319
Speaker 3: It usually John's sister Natalie, But then she would go

1184
00:49:37,360 --> 00:49:39,239
Speaker 3: and tell him that I was thirting with that guy.

1185
00:49:39,400 --> 00:49:40,759
Speaker 2: He also said that if he.

1186
00:49:40,760 --> 00:49:42,719
Speaker 3: Were to divorce me, he knew I would make his

1187
00:49:42,760 --> 00:49:45,440
Speaker 3: life miserable by fighting him on everything. If that is

1188
00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:47,800
Speaker 3: truly what he thinks of me, then he really doesn't

1189
00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:50,399
Speaker 3: know me at all after all these years. Yeah, I'm

1190
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:53,200
Speaker 3: not one to give up on a relationship. You don't say,

1191
00:49:53,680 --> 00:49:56,200
Speaker 3: oh really, But if he was adamant, then I wouldn't

1192
00:49:56,239 --> 00:49:59,319
Speaker 3: fight him. I would want us to end as amicably

1193
00:49:59,440 --> 00:50:01,759
Speaker 3: as possible. There would be a few things I would

1194
00:50:01,760 --> 00:50:03,200
Speaker 3: want to take with me, but I feel like a

1195
00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:06,759
Speaker 3: conversation where we sit down and settle things wouldn't be

1196
00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:09,200
Speaker 3: hard and to be honest. When he said that, I

1197
00:50:09,280 --> 00:50:11,120
Speaker 3: realized I wouldn't want to fight him at all. I

1198
00:50:11,280 --> 00:50:13,600
Speaker 3: just want it to be over with and as easily

1199
00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:16,080
Speaker 3: as possible. He also said, when considering a divorce, he

1200
00:50:16,120 --> 00:50:19,120
Speaker 3: thought about my grammy. She's probably the most important person

1201
00:50:19,160 --> 00:50:21,000
Speaker 3: in my life. He said, he thought about what she

1202
00:50:21,040 --> 00:50:23,520
Speaker 3: would say to us regarding a divorce and decided that

1203
00:50:23,600 --> 00:50:24,680
Speaker 3: he didn't want one.

1204
00:50:25,080 --> 00:50:28,040
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, did he just grandma gaslight you right now?

1205
00:50:28,680 --> 00:50:32,640
Speaker 1: Who is this guy? Did he learn this? It's a class.

1206
00:50:33,320 --> 00:50:36,560
Speaker 3: I'm really really worried that if he doesn't divorce her,

1207
00:50:36,719 --> 00:50:37,960
Speaker 3: she won't ever divorce him.

1208
00:50:38,719 --> 00:50:40,000
Speaker 1: Divorce this guy.

1209
00:50:40,160 --> 00:50:41,799
Speaker 3: I really hope that all of the comments in here

1210
00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:45,480
Speaker 3: are like, oh please, please, girl, please get yourself out

1211
00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:48,920
Speaker 3: of the situation. You deserve better than this. It's been

1212
00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:51,280
Speaker 3: several weeks. Everything is fine.

1213
00:50:51,560 --> 00:50:52,160
Speaker 1: No, it's not.

1214
00:50:52,920 --> 00:50:54,919
Speaker 3: Honestly, it's like the fight never happened at all.

1215
00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:57,879
Speaker 1: You even put it in there. You wrote it as

1216
00:50:58,280 --> 00:51:01,600
Speaker 1: everything is dot dot dot fine. No, it's not.

1217
00:51:01,640 --> 00:51:03,680
Speaker 2: You put the dunt dot dot. You know what's not fine?

1218
00:51:03,800 --> 00:51:05,719
Speaker 2: John acts the way he did beforehand.

1219
00:51:05,920 --> 00:51:08,359
Speaker 3: He tells me how much he loves me, talks about

1220
00:51:08,400 --> 00:51:11,840
Speaker 3: plans for our future, but me, I'm an emotional mess.

1221
00:51:11,960 --> 00:51:14,160
Speaker 3: John said some really terrible things to me that night,

1222
00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:16,400
Speaker 3: things I can't get out of my head. I feel

1223
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:19,440
Speaker 3: like the relationship isn't genuine anymore. I feel like it's forced,

1224
00:51:19,560 --> 00:51:21,880
Speaker 3: maybe not all the time, but more than enough that

1225
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:24,400
Speaker 3: it has me doubting a lot. And maybe it's just

1226
00:51:24,400 --> 00:51:26,920
Speaker 3: because he doesn't seem to feel the same way. I

1227
00:51:26,960 --> 00:51:29,239
Speaker 3: asked him if he felt that things had changed with us,

1228
00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:31,040
Speaker 3: and he said no. My mom and I have this

1229
00:51:31,080 --> 00:51:33,200
Speaker 3: little banter thing we do when we say I love

1230
00:51:33,239 --> 00:51:35,080
Speaker 3: you at the end of a conversation, and he picked

1231
00:51:35,120 --> 00:51:37,040
Speaker 3: up on it and started it with us too. He

1232
00:51:37,120 --> 00:51:39,000
Speaker 3: did it the other day, and my heart just didn't

1233
00:51:39,040 --> 00:51:41,400
Speaker 3: feel into it like it used to. He said he

1234
00:51:41,480 --> 00:51:44,279
Speaker 3: loved me, and I asked, no doubts, and he said

1235
00:51:44,320 --> 00:51:45,360
Speaker 3: he had no doubts.

1236
00:51:45,680 --> 00:51:48,600
Speaker 1: Oh what was this the same story where I said,

1237
00:51:48,600 --> 00:51:51,399
Speaker 1: the words are cheap, the cheapest thing on earth. Yeah,

1238
00:51:51,680 --> 00:51:54,200
Speaker 1: no doubts, no doubt he's going to cheat on you again.

1239
00:51:54,640 --> 00:51:56,759
Speaker 3: But how can he tell me he loves me with

1240
00:51:56,840 --> 00:51:59,160
Speaker 3: no doubts after he told me he doesn't trust me

1241
00:51:59,200 --> 00:52:01,840
Speaker 3: at all. I've been dealing with probably the worst depression

1242
00:52:01,840 --> 00:52:03,879
Speaker 3: I've had to date. For almost a year now, I've

1243
00:52:03,880 --> 00:52:07,000
Speaker 3: told him multiple times I really want to see a therapist, please,

1244
00:52:07,360 --> 00:52:10,839
Speaker 3: not to be medicated, but for help. Surprise, surprise, John

1245
00:52:10,920 --> 00:52:13,719
Speaker 3: is violently against me seeing a therapist. In fact, he

1246
00:52:13,760 --> 00:52:15,600
Speaker 3: got really mad when I told him the doctor at

1247
00:52:15,600 --> 00:52:17,640
Speaker 3: my last appointment gave me a list of mental health

1248
00:52:17,640 --> 00:52:20,239
Speaker 3: professionals in our area for me to look into. He

1249
00:52:20,280 --> 00:52:22,520
Speaker 3: told me I'm not mental and I don't need to

1250
00:52:22,520 --> 00:52:24,759
Speaker 3: see anyone. If I need to talk, I can talk

1251
00:52:24,800 --> 00:52:26,759
Speaker 3: to him. He's just isolating.

1252
00:52:26,800 --> 00:52:29,960
Speaker 1: You don't talk to a therapist because they'll tell you

1253
00:52:30,239 --> 00:52:31,680
Speaker 1: that you should break up with me.

1254
00:52:31,920 --> 00:52:34,879
Speaker 3: Don't talk to anyone else in your life because they'll

1255
00:52:34,880 --> 00:52:38,280
Speaker 3: tell you you need to break up with me. I'd

1256
00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:40,640
Speaker 3: be too worried about making a mad I made the

1257
00:52:40,640 --> 00:52:43,280
Speaker 3: mistake of saying, maybe we should see a marriage counselor,

1258
00:52:43,320 --> 00:52:45,640
Speaker 3: because clearly there are things we need to talk about.

1259
00:52:45,880 --> 00:52:48,400
Speaker 3: But he snapped at me, shan, he doesn't need a therapist.

1260
00:52:48,480 --> 00:52:51,920
Speaker 3: So then, but then he told me I needed to

1261
00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:54,560
Speaker 3: work on my depression, and I've been trying, I really have,

1262
00:52:54,760 --> 00:52:56,920
Speaker 3: but he's so against me seeing a counselor that I

1263
00:52:56,960 --> 00:52:57,359
Speaker 3: don't know.

1264
00:52:57,280 --> 00:52:57,759
Speaker 4: What to do.

1265
00:52:57,880 --> 00:52:58,600
Speaker 2: Leave him.

1266
00:52:58,640 --> 00:53:00,880
Speaker 3: Maybe if I could see someone, I could move past

1267
00:53:00,920 --> 00:53:03,839
Speaker 3: all of these doubts in my head. I feel so confused.

1268
00:53:04,080 --> 00:53:06,000
Speaker 3: Am I holding onto things that I just need to

1269
00:53:06,040 --> 00:53:08,440
Speaker 3: let go of? I saw this post a friend of

1270
00:53:08,440 --> 00:53:10,960
Speaker 3: mine made about being in a relationship meaning sticking with

1271
00:53:11,000 --> 00:53:12,560
Speaker 3: someone through the easy and the hard.

1272
00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:15,000
Speaker 1: Nope, that's not what this is.

1273
00:53:15,120 --> 00:53:15,960
Speaker 3: That's not what this is.

1274
00:53:16,080 --> 00:53:18,640
Speaker 1: Or is when someone gets like a diagnosis.

1275
00:53:18,040 --> 00:53:20,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, or ort is when you have financial trouble.

1276
00:53:20,400 --> 00:53:22,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, hard is when someone gets fired, art is.

1277
00:53:22,880 --> 00:53:24,319
Speaker 2: When is sick.

1278
00:53:24,480 --> 00:53:27,480
Speaker 3: This is over? Is this one of those hard moments

1279
00:53:27,520 --> 00:53:29,200
Speaker 3: where I just need to let it go and just

1280
00:53:29,280 --> 00:53:30,040
Speaker 3: forgive and forget.

1281
00:53:30,160 --> 00:53:31,880
Speaker 1: No, no, you let go of the whole relationship and

1282
00:53:31,920 --> 00:53:32,520
Speaker 1: you just leave.

1283
00:53:32,440 --> 00:53:34,600
Speaker 3: Him like, let us not forget? Oh, he is twenty

1284
00:53:34,800 --> 00:53:39,200
Speaker 3: two years old and surrounded by people who gaslight her.

1285
00:53:39,440 --> 00:53:42,160
Speaker 3: The problem is I can't forget. I can't forget what

1286
00:53:42,200 --> 00:53:44,399
Speaker 3: he said, and I can't forget what his father said.

1287
00:53:44,480 --> 00:53:46,440
Speaker 3: I have always fought for what I believe in. I

1288
00:53:46,520 --> 00:53:48,920
Speaker 3: stayed with him when he tried dumping me and punting

1289
00:53:48,920 --> 00:53:50,840
Speaker 3: me out of her house over a text message. I

1290
00:53:50,880 --> 00:53:53,000
Speaker 3: forgave him and I moved on. But now I just

1291
00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:55,840
Speaker 3: feel so tired and lost and confused. I feel like

1292
00:53:55,840 --> 00:53:58,120
Speaker 3: I don't have any fight left. We were trying to

1293
00:53:58,160 --> 00:54:01,280
Speaker 3: start a family before this happened. Now I'm thinking maybe

1294
00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:03,520
Speaker 3: I should go back on birth control, because as much

1295
00:54:03,520 --> 00:54:05,760
Speaker 3: as I want one, I don't want a child mixed

1296
00:54:05,800 --> 00:54:08,040
Speaker 3: into this, especially if we do separate.

1297
00:54:08,280 --> 00:54:13,120
Speaker 1: Sweet jump in johose effects don't have a baby, have

1298
00:54:13,160 --> 00:54:15,200
Speaker 1: a baby with them, where the love of all that

1299
00:54:15,320 --> 00:54:18,920
Speaker 1: is holy, get back on birth control es.

1300
00:54:19,640 --> 00:54:22,640
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I'm not even transitioning to this. There

1301
00:54:22,719 --> 00:54:24,439
Speaker 3: is a little bit left to the story. But oh,

1302
00:54:24,480 --> 00:54:28,399
Speaker 3: pe think about him telling your child if she were

1303
00:54:28,480 --> 00:54:30,960
Speaker 3: ever god Like, if it was a girl or a boy,

1304
00:54:31,239 --> 00:54:34,560
Speaker 3: and they were ever in a situation that you were

1305
00:54:34,560 --> 00:54:36,839
Speaker 3: put in where someone tried to kiss them, that they

1306
00:54:36,840 --> 00:54:39,959
Speaker 3: didn't want to. Picture him saying what he said to you.

1307
00:54:40,080 --> 00:54:44,240
Speaker 3: Picture his father saying what he said to you. You would,

1308
00:54:44,360 --> 00:54:47,759
Speaker 3: I hope never accept that for your child, So don't

1309
00:54:47,800 --> 00:54:48,920
Speaker 3: accept it for yourself.

1310
00:54:49,400 --> 00:54:51,360
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to think of what the actual advice

1311
00:54:51,400 --> 00:54:53,520
Speaker 1: here is, because clearly we've already said it. We need

1312
00:54:53,520 --> 00:54:55,640
Speaker 1: to say to Ope, we know it's divorced, like as

1313
00:54:55,640 --> 00:54:58,200
Speaker 1: soon as if you're in a relationship, and you and

1314
00:54:58,560 --> 00:55:02,200
Speaker 1: your partner starts telling things like, well, you can't talk

1315
00:55:02,280 --> 00:55:05,040
Speaker 1: to anyone about our relationship, where you shouldn't be talking

1316
00:55:05,040 --> 00:55:06,920
Speaker 1: to your family by there, or they're getting angry at

1317
00:55:06,920 --> 00:55:09,359
Speaker 1: you because you want to go see a therapist. Those

1318
00:55:09,360 --> 00:55:09,919
Speaker 1: should be.

1319
00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:13,880
Speaker 2: Giant, blaring tornado siren.

1320
00:55:13,760 --> 00:55:18,040
Speaker 1: Warnings that you are with someone who is trying to

1321
00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:22,640
Speaker 1: uh trap you in like a toxic relationship yep, and.

1322
00:55:22,560 --> 00:55:25,320
Speaker 3: That you and here you don't family his whole family

1323
00:55:25,360 --> 00:55:31,960
Speaker 3: except for I guess one sister is toxic and and predatory, like,

1324
00:55:32,040 --> 00:55:34,839
Speaker 3: get get out of there. But there is a little

1325
00:55:34,880 --> 00:55:37,520
Speaker 3: bit more. I'm also starting to picture different avenues that

1326
00:55:37,560 --> 00:55:39,719
Speaker 3: I want my life to take, avenues that I don't

1327
00:55:39,719 --> 00:55:42,440
Speaker 3: think you would go along with. After I get my degree,

1328
00:55:42,480 --> 00:55:44,680
Speaker 3: I will most likely end up having to move. Where

1329
00:55:44,719 --> 00:55:47,160
Speaker 3: we live does not have any good job opportunities for me.

1330
00:55:47,320 --> 00:55:49,120
Speaker 3: But I don't think he would want to move, So

1331
00:55:49,239 --> 00:55:52,239
Speaker 3: I'm left questioning do I put my goals aside for him,

1332
00:55:52,400 --> 00:55:54,799
Speaker 3: or do I follow my dreams even if it means

1333
00:55:54,920 --> 00:55:58,840
Speaker 3: leaving him behind. Someday I really want to travel, he doesn't.

1334
00:55:59,160 --> 00:56:01,200
Speaker 3: If you've stayed this lot to listen to my ramblings

1335
00:56:01,200 --> 00:56:03,560
Speaker 3: thank you. I try to keep it clear and concise,

1336
00:56:03,640 --> 00:56:05,200
Speaker 3: but my head is just such a mess. I'm not

1337
00:56:05,200 --> 00:56:07,080
Speaker 3: sure if I was able to. I don't even know

1338
00:56:07,120 --> 00:56:09,080
Speaker 3: if I really made the point of trying to make

1339
00:56:09,239 --> 00:56:11,000
Speaker 3: I just don't know what to do. I don't want

1340
00:56:11,040 --> 00:56:13,200
Speaker 3: to disappoint people by quitting, but I don't know if

1341
00:56:13,239 --> 00:56:15,560
Speaker 3: I'm really happy anymore. I mean, I am, but I'm

1342
00:56:15,560 --> 00:56:17,839
Speaker 3: also not. Does that make any sense at all?

1343
00:56:19,200 --> 00:56:21,000
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to these stories.

1344
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:23,000
Speaker 1: But here's three bits of ads from our sponsors that

1345
00:56:23,080 --> 00:56:27,200
Speaker 1: keep the show alive. I refused to share my gift

1346
00:56:27,320 --> 00:56:30,720
Speaker 1: cards with my husband, and it set him on edge.

1347
00:56:31,320 --> 00:56:34,560
Speaker 3: Ye, no gift cards for you, buster.

1348
00:56:35,200 --> 00:56:39,200
Speaker 1: I thirty three female, work in one of the care industries.

1349
00:56:39,400 --> 00:56:43,320
Speaker 1: While I do work for an actual company, sometimes the clients.

1350
00:56:42,920 --> 00:56:45,200
Speaker 2: Who use the services.

1351
00:56:44,520 --> 00:56:47,319
Speaker 1: Of the company are so grateful for the level of

1352
00:56:47,360 --> 00:56:49,959
Speaker 1: care that an individual employee may give to their loved

1353
00:56:49,960 --> 00:56:53,120
Speaker 1: one that they feel moved to give us gifts for

1354
00:56:53,239 --> 00:56:56,080
Speaker 1: our efforts. These gifts can range anywhere from a bouquet

1355
00:56:56,120 --> 00:57:00,120
Speaker 1: of flowers to homemade or store bought treats, gift cards,

1356
00:57:00,120 --> 00:57:03,440
Speaker 1: et cetera. By the way, this comes from user bury

1357
00:57:03,680 --> 00:57:06,480
Speaker 1: the ashit and if you want to submit your own stories,

1358
00:57:06,480 --> 00:57:09,600
Speaker 1: go to the r slash Okay story time subreddit. So

1359
00:57:09,960 --> 00:57:13,359
Speaker 1: anytime I get delicious treats from a client.

1360
00:57:13,160 --> 00:57:15,320
Speaker 4: Delicious treat tee.

1361
00:57:17,680 --> 00:57:22,040
Speaker 1: I always share them with my husband thirty three mail. However,

1362
00:57:22,160 --> 00:57:24,280
Speaker 1: if I come home with gift cards like a twenty

1363
00:57:24,280 --> 00:57:27,480
Speaker 1: five dollars Amazon card or a fifty dollars Visa card,

1364
00:57:27,600 --> 00:57:29,919
Speaker 1: my husband wants me to share those as well. Doubt

1365
00:57:30,200 --> 00:57:34,000
Speaker 1: no husband now. One time I came home with four

1366
00:57:34,200 --> 00:57:38,160
Speaker 1: gift cards Target, Visa and two Amazon cards. When he

1367
00:57:38,160 --> 00:57:40,240
Speaker 1: saw them, he started talking about how I need to

1368
00:57:40,280 --> 00:57:44,439
Speaker 1: share them since no one gets him gifts for his work. Boy,

1369
00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:48,000
Speaker 1: he works in construction. I don't care.

1370
00:57:48,800 --> 00:57:51,360
Speaker 2: He moped about it, and I do love him. He

1371
00:57:51,400 --> 00:57:54,080
Speaker 2: works hard, and I gave him one of my Amazon

1372
00:57:54,120 --> 00:57:56,880
Speaker 2: gift cards and insisted on keeping the other ones for

1373
00:57:57,000 --> 00:57:59,920
Speaker 2: myself since these are gifts from clients I work with

1374
00:58:00,120 --> 00:58:03,360
Speaker 2: for the care of their loved ones. Recently, I've been

1375
00:58:03,400 --> 00:58:05,680
Speaker 2: given gift cards again, and when he saw that, he

1376
00:58:05,680 --> 00:58:07,200
Speaker 2: asked what I planned on getting with them.

1377
00:58:07,200 --> 00:58:09,000
Speaker 1: So I told him, and the items I plan on

1378
00:58:09,000 --> 00:58:11,840
Speaker 1: getting will be strictly for me, and he scoffed at that.

1379
00:58:12,000 --> 00:58:15,800
Speaker 1: He started complaining again about why I should share or

1380
00:58:15,840 --> 00:58:18,760
Speaker 1: get something that benefits both of us. We went back

1381
00:58:18,800 --> 00:58:21,320
Speaker 1: and forth for a bit. I reminded him that I

1382
00:58:21,360 --> 00:58:24,240
Speaker 1: always spend my own money for things that benefit us

1383
00:58:24,280 --> 00:58:26,320
Speaker 1: both or that we can both enjoy, and that when

1384
00:58:26,360 --> 00:58:28,520
Speaker 1: I use these gift cards, I always get something I

1385
00:58:28,560 --> 00:58:31,720
Speaker 1: can't always afford with my own money. He kept insisting

1386
00:58:31,840 --> 00:58:33,920
Speaker 1: that I share. He brought up the fact that it

1387
00:58:33,960 --> 00:58:36,120
Speaker 1: wasn't fair that, even though I shared an Amazon gift

1388
00:58:36,120 --> 00:58:38,600
Speaker 1: card with him before, he ended up with nothing because

1389
00:58:38,640 --> 00:58:41,000
Speaker 1: Amazon messed up his order and he never received his item,

1390
00:58:41,080 --> 00:58:42,480
Speaker 1: but he got a refund.

1391
00:58:42,480 --> 00:58:46,240
Speaker 3: Then use the money you got a refund, Use that money.

1392
00:58:46,440 --> 00:58:50,360
Speaker 1: Knock knot a lot? Is that? Hello? Is there? Did

1393
00:58:50,360 --> 00:58:52,080
Speaker 1: our brain leak out of our ears?

1394
00:58:52,200 --> 00:58:54,360
Speaker 3: He's like, I got the I got the money back,

1395
00:58:54,440 --> 00:58:56,680
Speaker 3: but I don't want to have to order it again.

1396
00:58:56,880 --> 00:59:00,640
Speaker 1: Yeah. I told him that was not my fault at all,

1397
00:59:00,800 --> 00:59:03,160
Speaker 1: and at that point I got really annoyed and told

1398
00:59:03,240 --> 00:59:05,680
Speaker 1: him to leave me alone. Made a comment about me

1399
00:59:05,840 --> 00:59:08,479
Speaker 1: not being raised to share. I'm an only child.

1400
00:59:09,120 --> 00:59:12,720
Speaker 2: Oh, you have awakened the defensive gene.

1401
00:59:12,800 --> 00:59:16,520
Speaker 1: I got mad and told him that's the sibling mentality

1402
00:59:16,640 --> 00:59:18,680
Speaker 1: and only works with parents and their kids.

1403
00:59:18,800 --> 00:59:20,680
Speaker 2: Get over yourself, and I walked off.

1404
00:59:20,760 --> 00:59:21,920
Speaker 4: He gave me a little side eye.

1405
00:59:22,000 --> 00:59:26,440
Speaker 3: And also his comparison is not even accurate, because again,

1406
00:59:27,160 --> 00:59:29,240
Speaker 3: this is like if a younger sibling said I want

1407
00:59:29,280 --> 00:59:30,200
Speaker 3: one of your birthdaymans.

1408
00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:32,280
Speaker 2: Even a parent would be like, no.

1409
00:59:33,480 --> 00:59:37,000
Speaker 1: I kind of feel bad about it all, but honestly,

1410
00:59:37,280 --> 00:59:39,919
Speaker 1: I just want my gift to be mine. I work

1411
00:59:39,960 --> 00:59:42,160
Speaker 1: with a new set of clients every few months, so

1412
00:59:42,280 --> 00:59:44,760
Speaker 1: this is a frequent occurrence. Is there a better way

1413
00:59:44,800 --> 00:59:47,560
Speaker 1: I can respond or handle it better in the future.

1414
00:59:47,840 --> 00:59:51,400
Speaker 1: And there's some extra context. We are not exactly well off,

1415
00:59:51,440 --> 00:59:54,200
Speaker 1: but bills are always paid in our frage is always full.

1416
00:59:54,360 --> 00:59:56,360
Speaker 1: We can afford to treat ourselves once a month, and

1417
00:59:56,400 --> 00:59:59,360
Speaker 1: we always treat ourselves together, or we don't leave each

1418
00:59:59,400 --> 01:00:01,680
Speaker 1: other out. If we want to get ourselves something really nice,

1419
01:00:01,720 --> 01:00:03,720
Speaker 1: like a set of weights or a nail art slash

1420
01:00:03,840 --> 01:00:06,200
Speaker 1: care kit, then it is a sacrifice the other one

1421
01:00:06,200 --> 01:00:08,560
Speaker 1: does not benefit from. So we put purchases like that

1422
01:00:08,640 --> 01:00:10,880
Speaker 1: on the back burner for a while. We have gifted

1423
01:00:10,920 --> 01:00:14,720
Speaker 1: each other just because in the past as well, exactly.

1424
01:00:14,520 --> 01:00:18,120
Speaker 3: Like this proves it she's still getting him gifts again,

1425
01:00:18,240 --> 01:00:21,160
Speaker 3: She's still sharing all the treats that she gets. She

1426
01:00:21,440 --> 01:00:24,320
Speaker 3: already bought him something with the Amazon gift card. It's

1427
01:00:24,400 --> 01:00:27,720
Speaker 3: just the fact that he's insisting that she share her gifts.

1428
01:00:27,920 --> 01:00:30,800
Speaker 1: For more context, we are fifty to fifty in the

1429
01:00:30,840 --> 01:00:32,680
Speaker 1: sense that he covers a set of bills and I

1430
01:00:32,800 --> 01:00:35,400
Speaker 1: cover a set of bills, not that we both take

1431
01:00:35,440 --> 01:00:38,480
Speaker 1: money from our accounts and put it together for all bills.

1432
01:00:38,520 --> 01:00:42,080
Speaker 1: We honestly live paycheck to paycheck and make just enough

1433
01:00:42,120 --> 01:00:45,760
Speaker 1: to have all our needs covered. And he wants instead

1434
01:00:45,760 --> 01:00:48,720
Speaker 1: of needs. We both discussed with each other. Oh, but

1435
01:00:48,880 --> 01:00:52,360
Speaker 1: we rarely, and I mean rarely stop each other from

1436
01:00:52,440 --> 01:00:55,840
Speaker 1: getting something we want. There's another edit here. The fifty

1437
01:00:55,880 --> 01:00:58,720
Speaker 1: dollars visa thing is a very rare occurrence. I've only

1438
01:00:58,720 --> 01:01:01,840
Speaker 1: gotten one once. I'm only getting maybe one or two

1439
01:01:01,840 --> 01:01:04,439
Speaker 1: gift cards every six months to a year.

1440
01:01:05,080 --> 01:01:07,360
Speaker 3: Oh that's even more so like a birthday gift.

1441
01:01:08,120 --> 01:01:10,800
Speaker 1: Right, So it's even more so Like it's not like

1442
01:01:10,800 --> 01:01:11,960
Speaker 1: these are coming in once a week.

1443
01:01:12,120 --> 01:01:14,919
Speaker 3: Yeah no, which I didn't think they were. It didn't

1444
01:01:14,960 --> 01:01:17,120
Speaker 3: sound like that, but like, but now we have confirmation

1445
01:01:17,240 --> 01:01:17,880
Speaker 3: that they aren't.

1446
01:01:18,520 --> 01:01:21,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, not anywhere near monthly.

1447
01:01:21,560 --> 01:01:23,960
Speaker 1: The last time I got four gift cards was in

1448
01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:26,800
Speaker 1: February of this year, and only two of them were

1449
01:01:26,920 --> 01:01:28,520
Speaker 1: the twenty five dollars Amazon cards.

1450
01:01:28,560 --> 01:01:29,960
Speaker 2: One of them I gave to my husband.

1451
01:01:30,000 --> 01:01:32,360
Speaker 1: The other two I kept were ten dollars at Target

1452
01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:34,880
Speaker 1: and ten dollars at Starbucks. It's been nine months since

1453
01:01:34,880 --> 01:01:36,680
Speaker 1: I last got a gift and this time I only

1454
01:01:36,720 --> 01:01:38,800
Speaker 1: got two. What we got into it about is one

1455
01:01:38,880 --> 01:01:41,280
Speaker 1: twenty five dollars Amazon gift card, the other one is Starbucks,

1456
01:01:41,320 --> 01:01:43,400
Speaker 1: and he hates Starbucks and doesn't even care about that one.

1457
01:01:43,480 --> 01:01:45,640
Speaker 1: And there are comments, I don't know, you guys are

1458
01:01:45,720 --> 01:01:48,360
Speaker 1: fighting over a twenty five dollars gift card, but.

1459
01:01:48,400 --> 01:01:50,840
Speaker 3: She's already given him a gift card to be clear,

1460
01:01:51,120 --> 01:01:54,600
Speaker 3: has just confirmed that these aren't regular occurrences. Has gotten

1461
01:01:54,640 --> 01:01:57,760
Speaker 3: a couple over the course of a year. Uh Like,

1462
01:01:57,800 --> 01:01:59,760
Speaker 3: Bug says, I feel like that changes things because he's

1463
01:01:59,800 --> 01:02:02,240
Speaker 3: living Pornci's her living lavishly. I don't think she's living

1464
01:02:02,320 --> 01:02:04,760
Speaker 3: loudly lavishly. I think she bought a nail kit and

1465
01:02:04,840 --> 01:02:05,880
Speaker 3: maybe another thing.

1466
01:02:07,240 --> 01:02:08,640
Speaker 1: Every four or five months.

1467
01:02:08,720 --> 01:02:10,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like, I don't think she's at all living lavishly.

1468
01:02:11,120 --> 01:02:13,160
Speaker 3: I think she's gotten maybe four gift cards of the

1469
01:02:13,160 --> 01:02:17,040
Speaker 3: course of a year. Uh and and gave him one

1470
01:02:17,080 --> 01:02:20,479
Speaker 3: because he asked, And now he's demanding more of them

1471
01:02:20,680 --> 01:02:21,640
Speaker 3: Like that doesn't.

1472
01:02:21,440 --> 01:02:22,120
Speaker 2: Compute to me.

1473
01:02:23,200 --> 01:02:29,480
Speaker 1: Comments, Please be nice comments Comment one, Stop showing him

1474
01:02:29,480 --> 01:02:32,840
Speaker 1: the dang gift cards. Reply yes, please stop showing him

1475
01:02:32,840 --> 01:02:35,160
Speaker 1: already he clearly can't handle it. It's okay to want

1476
01:02:35,160 --> 01:02:37,320
Speaker 1: to enjoy the gifts that are meant for you. Lie

1477
01:02:37,400 --> 01:02:39,720
Speaker 1: to your husband, Oh, he says.

1478
01:02:41,160 --> 01:02:44,080
Speaker 2: Light the husband, Oh, he says, because.

1479
01:02:43,840 --> 01:02:45,080
Speaker 3: He can't, because he can't hit.

1480
01:02:45,200 --> 01:02:47,320
Speaker 2: He can't be a big boy and handle it.

1481
01:02:47,480 --> 01:02:52,800
Speaker 1: Lie, I can't handle the gift cards, Opie. Sometimes it's

1482
01:02:52,880 --> 01:02:55,280
Speaker 1: not a matter of him seeing the actual gift card.

1483
01:02:55,280 --> 01:02:57,280
Speaker 1: It's him seeing the new item that he knows I

1484
01:02:57,280 --> 01:02:59,840
Speaker 1: wouldn't just buy with my own money without discussing it

1485
01:02:59,840 --> 01:03:00,640
Speaker 1: with first.

1486
01:03:00,680 --> 01:03:01,920
Speaker 2: Where did that come from?

1487
01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:06,360
Speaker 1: Did it come from? Those dang gift cards? Money is tight,

1488
01:03:06,600 --> 01:03:09,919
Speaker 1: but not overwhelmingly so, and because of that, we both

1489
01:03:09,960 --> 01:03:12,160
Speaker 1: always give each other heads up when we decide to

1490
01:03:12,200 --> 01:03:15,920
Speaker 1: get something we want and not something we need for survival.

1491
01:03:16,080 --> 01:03:18,160
Speaker 1: Last month, a new Spider Man game came out and

1492
01:03:18,200 --> 01:03:20,200
Speaker 1: I straight told him I would get it for him,

1493
01:03:20,240 --> 01:03:22,440
Speaker 1: and he can go ahead and get it because I

1494
01:03:22,600 --> 01:03:24,840
Speaker 1: know it's something that will bring him joy. He will

1495
01:03:24,840 --> 01:03:27,960
Speaker 1: do the same for me. Comment to says, do you

1496
01:03:28,000 --> 01:03:30,800
Speaker 1: have to buy him a gift on your birthday too? Yeesh,

1497
01:03:30,800 --> 01:03:32,960
Speaker 1: that's what it sounds like. Does he get jealous when

1498
01:03:32,960 --> 01:03:34,480
Speaker 1: he doesn't get to blow out the candle?

1499
01:03:34,600 --> 01:03:38,400
Speaker 2: That's what I said. What I said, joke.

1500
01:03:38,600 --> 01:03:39,840
Speaker 3: I made those jokes.

1501
01:03:39,960 --> 01:03:40,840
Speaker 1: Make it my job.

1502
01:03:41,000 --> 01:03:42,120
Speaker 3: At least I made them first.

1503
01:03:42,640 --> 01:03:44,720
Speaker 2: There's an update. Let's get into it.

1504
01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:48,760
Speaker 1: Who Okay, I didn't think any financial details were relevant

1505
01:03:48,800 --> 01:03:50,120
Speaker 1: to a situation about gift cards.

1506
01:03:50,120 --> 01:03:51,200
Speaker 2: So I'll clarify that my.

1507
01:03:51,240 --> 01:03:53,160
Speaker 1: Husband works in construction and I work in a care

1508
01:03:53,240 --> 01:03:56,200
Speaker 1: industry that is not medical. Ooh. In fact, in the

1509
01:03:56,200 --> 01:03:58,840
Speaker 1: field I work in, it is customary in the US

1510
01:03:58,920 --> 01:04:03,080
Speaker 1: to give gifts to the workers during a designated appreciation

1511
01:04:03,320 --> 01:04:06,640
Speaker 1: Were you a teacher or during Christmas holidays?

1512
01:04:06,920 --> 01:04:08,680
Speaker 3: Is this yeah? Some people are saying childcare.

1513
01:04:09,240 --> 01:04:12,880
Speaker 1: I don't know. So I only get gifts twice a year,

1514
01:04:13,080 --> 01:04:15,800
Speaker 1: more than six months apart usually, But the most gift

1515
01:04:15,800 --> 01:04:18,280
Speaker 1: cards I've ever gotten was four, But the value of

1516
01:04:18,280 --> 01:04:20,920
Speaker 1: those gift cards don't usually amount to more than maybe

1517
01:04:20,920 --> 01:04:24,040
Speaker 1: fifty bucks. The rest are usually skincare, gifts or food

1518
01:04:24,080 --> 01:04:25,400
Speaker 1: items which.

1519
01:04:25,160 --> 01:04:26,640
Speaker 2: She shares, right, which she shares.

1520
01:04:27,720 --> 01:04:29,840
Speaker 1: The one time I got a fifty dollars gift card,

1521
01:04:29,880 --> 01:04:31,480
Speaker 1: we went to an expensive restaurant with it.

1522
01:04:31,560 --> 01:04:33,160
Speaker 2: Yes, so that's a shared experience.

1523
01:04:33,320 --> 01:04:36,600
Speaker 3: Again, she's sharing all of these he's he just wants

1524
01:04:36,640 --> 01:04:38,400
Speaker 3: her to give him everything.

1525
01:04:38,800 --> 01:04:41,000
Speaker 1: For the record, my husband and I do not celebrate

1526
01:04:41,040 --> 01:04:42,040
Speaker 1: birthdays and holidays.

1527
01:04:42,160 --> 01:04:45,120
Speaker 3: What oh well, I guess if you're living, you know, pitychick.

1528
01:04:45,000 --> 01:04:48,840
Speaker 1: Paycheck And this is a mutual decision between both of us.

1529
01:04:48,960 --> 01:04:51,680
Speaker 2: We have no children. We consider ourselves fifty to fifty.

1530
01:04:51,720 --> 01:04:54,360
Speaker 1: But it goes like this. My husband makes more than

1531
01:04:54,440 --> 01:04:58,080
Speaker 1: I do. He takes on all utility bills, including internet

1532
01:04:58,080 --> 01:05:01,760
Speaker 1: and cell phone, health insurance, car and arans. I inherited

1533
01:05:01,800 --> 01:05:04,280
Speaker 1: a house that needs repairs. There's no mortgage, but there

1534
01:05:04,360 --> 01:05:06,560
Speaker 1: is a home repair loan I pay monthly, and I

1535
01:05:06,680 --> 01:05:09,360
Speaker 1: pay the car note for a car I purchased. Since

1536
01:05:09,400 --> 01:05:12,680
Speaker 1: the home belongs to me, I choose the responsibility of

1537
01:05:12,720 --> 01:05:16,080
Speaker 1: saving for property taxes. After we're done paying our bills

1538
01:05:16,080 --> 01:05:18,520
Speaker 1: with our own separate accounts, we usually have a few

1539
01:05:18,600 --> 01:05:21,320
Speaker 1: hundred dollars left in our individual accounts. We put that

1540
01:05:21,480 --> 01:05:24,640
Speaker 1: together and use that to buy groceries, bath and home essentials.

1541
01:05:24,720 --> 01:05:27,800
Speaker 1: We treat ourselves once a month. We share almost every

1542
01:05:27,880 --> 01:05:30,480
Speaker 1: interest and hobby. So say, if one person wants to

1543
01:05:30,520 --> 01:05:33,160
Speaker 1: go into the comic bookstore as a treat, we both

1544
01:05:33,200 --> 01:05:35,560
Speaker 1: walk out with comics. If one wants to buy a

1545
01:05:35,640 --> 01:05:38,200
Speaker 1: video game, that's cool because we're both gamers. Or we

1546
01:05:38,240 --> 01:05:40,320
Speaker 1: take a drive to the beach, go see a movie,

1547
01:05:40,400 --> 01:05:42,680
Speaker 1: go out to dinner, et cetera. Let's go to the

1548
01:05:42,720 --> 01:05:46,320
Speaker 1: beach beach. We're not rich, but we can afford to

1549
01:05:46,320 --> 01:05:47,520
Speaker 1: get take out twice a week.

1550
01:05:47,560 --> 01:05:48,280
Speaker 2: We try not to.

1551
01:05:48,520 --> 01:05:50,640
Speaker 1: We treat each other and gift each other when we can.

1552
01:05:50,720 --> 01:05:53,160
Speaker 1: I'm fortunate enough to have clothes given to me by

1553
01:05:53,160 --> 01:05:54,840
Speaker 1: family members that happen to shop.

1554
01:05:54,600 --> 01:05:56,840
Speaker 2: At expensive department stools.

1555
01:05:56,960 --> 01:06:00,360
Speaker 1: The clothes are nice, barely worn, or we'll even still

1556
01:06:00,360 --> 01:06:02,800
Speaker 1: have tags on them. I actually love this since my

1557
01:06:02,840 --> 01:06:05,840
Speaker 1: family's very fashionable. It only gives me good stuff. Nice.

1558
01:06:05,960 --> 01:06:09,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, I actually love this, but actually love getting free clothes.

1559
01:06:09,240 --> 01:06:11,720
Speaker 2: It's designer Yeah crazy?

1560
01:06:12,040 --> 01:06:12,320
Speaker 1: What?

1561
01:06:12,600 --> 01:06:12,800
Speaker 4: No?

1562
01:06:13,080 --> 01:06:16,160
Speaker 3: Oh, p you're the a hole for loving that.

1563
01:06:16,920 --> 01:06:26,880
Speaker 1: Freak? Who are you? Free stuff that looks good? I

1564
01:06:26,920 --> 01:06:33,920
Speaker 1: have absolutely no problem with this, but you freak burn

1565
01:06:33,960 --> 01:06:39,440
Speaker 1: the witch you weirdo grows. Anytime I find clothes that

1566
01:06:39,480 --> 01:06:42,720
Speaker 1: have touched another person, I just throw it away. It's

1567
01:06:42,960 --> 01:06:46,280
Speaker 1: trash to me. I wear my shirts one day, I

1568
01:06:46,320 --> 01:06:49,520
Speaker 1: throw them away. I have fifteen copies of everything I wear.

1569
01:06:49,720 --> 01:06:54,640
Speaker 3: Definitely not wearing anything secondhand right now, not my whole outfit.

1570
01:06:58,560 --> 01:07:02,520
Speaker 1: Since I get clothes free, I often buy my husband clothes,

1571
01:07:02,640 --> 01:07:05,280
Speaker 1: especially since he wears them out faster. He would take

1572
01:07:05,320 --> 01:07:07,280
Speaker 1: clothes from others if he could, but there are no

1573
01:07:07,400 --> 01:07:11,240
Speaker 1: men in his family or mine his size. We're not perfect,

1574
01:07:11,280 --> 01:07:13,800
Speaker 1: but we honestly don't argue any disagreements we have. We

1575
01:07:13,840 --> 01:07:15,640
Speaker 1: can either talk it out or agree that it's not

1576
01:07:15,760 --> 01:07:17,640
Speaker 1: serious enough to get too deep into.

1577
01:07:17,840 --> 01:07:21,120
Speaker 2: I recently got a couple of Starbucks. Okay, just really pause,

1578
01:07:21,200 --> 01:07:22,400
Speaker 2: really quick, just have to say this.

1579
01:07:22,600 --> 01:07:25,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you and your husband are getting testy over

1580
01:07:25,200 --> 01:07:28,120
Speaker 1: twenty five dollars, which at this point I don't really

1581
01:07:28,200 --> 01:07:31,000
Speaker 1: know if it's the money or if it's the principle

1582
01:07:31,040 --> 01:07:34,480
Speaker 1: behind it, the principle, I'm leaning towards principle.

1583
01:07:34,560 --> 01:07:35,280
Speaker 3: It's the principle.

1584
01:07:35,320 --> 01:07:36,240
Speaker 2: But like, if you're.

1585
01:07:36,040 --> 01:07:38,720
Speaker 1: Being given like a bunch of designer clothes that are

1586
01:07:38,720 --> 01:07:43,480
Speaker 1: in good condition, like flip that if your family's giving

1587
01:07:43,520 --> 01:07:45,760
Speaker 1: you designer, well, I think she wants to wear sell

1588
01:07:45,840 --> 01:07:46,680
Speaker 1: the designer.

1589
01:07:47,160 --> 01:07:47,760
Speaker 3: She wants to wear them.

1590
01:07:47,800 --> 01:07:48,960
Speaker 2: You don't have to sell all of it.

1591
01:07:49,640 --> 01:07:52,760
Speaker 1: But if your paycheck to paycheck, that's a great source

1592
01:07:52,800 --> 01:07:54,480
Speaker 1: of extra income right there.

1593
01:07:54,640 --> 01:07:56,880
Speaker 3: I don't want to like assume their finances, but it

1594
01:07:56,920 --> 01:07:59,960
Speaker 3: does feel like they're not quite paycheck to paycheck.

1595
01:08:00,600 --> 01:08:03,600
Speaker 1: Just saying, if we're in a place where it's like, girl,

1596
01:08:03,680 --> 01:08:07,160
Speaker 1: I wish I had more money for stuff, there's a

1597
01:08:07,200 --> 01:08:09,480
Speaker 1: way to make some just put it out there.

1598
01:08:09,800 --> 01:08:12,880
Speaker 3: It feels like not quite paycheck to paycheck.

1599
01:08:13,240 --> 01:08:15,680
Speaker 1: I recently got a couple of gift cards because of

1600
01:08:15,680 --> 01:08:18,559
Speaker 1: the holiday season. One is a five dollars gift card

1601
01:08:18,600 --> 01:08:21,719
Speaker 1: for Starbucks and the other is twenty five at Amazon.

1602
01:08:21,880 --> 01:08:23,880
Speaker 1: I brought up that I may have a package showing

1603
01:08:23,920 --> 01:08:26,320
Speaker 1: up soon because I wanted to buy something for myself

1604
01:08:26,360 --> 01:08:29,160
Speaker 1: from Amazon, and he suggested we should share that card

1605
01:08:29,200 --> 01:08:31,400
Speaker 1: and get something for both of us. I disagreed, and

1606
01:08:31,400 --> 01:08:34,479
Speaker 1: we said some not so nice things to each other.

1607
01:08:34,600 --> 01:08:38,960
Speaker 1: The actual update here we go. I read all of

1608
01:08:39,000 --> 01:08:42,479
Speaker 1: the comments from the previous post, and while I appreciate

1609
01:08:42,520 --> 01:08:45,960
Speaker 1: your concern, I am in no way being financially mistreated

1610
01:08:46,120 --> 01:08:48,679
Speaker 1: or given the short end of any sticks. We both

1611
01:08:48,720 --> 01:08:51,080
Speaker 1: share the burden of living and are doing fine. I

1612
01:08:51,160 --> 01:08:53,960
Speaker 1: asked him about why he got miffed at me wanting

1613
01:08:53,960 --> 01:08:56,559
Speaker 1: to use the one twenty five dollars Amazon gift card

1614
01:08:56,560 --> 01:08:59,080
Speaker 1: I was gifted for myself, and he admitted he hoped

1615
01:08:59,080 --> 01:09:00,960
Speaker 1: I would get something for the house since the kitchen

1616
01:09:01,000 --> 01:09:03,840
Speaker 1: is lacking some equipment. He knows twenty five dollars isn't much,

1617
01:09:03,920 --> 01:09:06,559
Speaker 1: but he could make something nice cheaper. He then told

1618
01:09:06,600 --> 01:09:08,160
Speaker 1: me I don't have to do that. We have a

1619
01:09:08,240 --> 01:09:10,599
Speaker 1: little bit of story left.

1620
01:09:10,520 --> 01:09:11,280
Speaker 3: Let's get into it.

1621
01:09:11,479 --> 01:09:14,040
Speaker 1: I asked him why he brought up me being an

1622
01:09:14,080 --> 01:09:16,680
Speaker 1: only child. He said, I don't know. I guess I

1623
01:09:16,880 --> 01:09:19,519
Speaker 1: just am used to having to share and all that

1624
01:09:19,680 --> 01:09:22,760
Speaker 1: with my sisters, but I guess that's different. I reminded

1625
01:09:22,840 --> 01:09:26,919
Speaker 1: him we share everything except makeup and clippers, and reminded

1626
01:09:27,000 --> 01:09:29,320
Speaker 1: him it's not my fault my mom couldn't have more

1627
01:09:29,320 --> 01:09:31,559
Speaker 1: of me, just like it's not his fault his family

1628
01:09:31,560 --> 01:09:35,200
Speaker 1: had to stretch resources, and comparing our childhoods isn't gonna

1629
01:09:35,240 --> 01:09:37,599
Speaker 1: cut it in any of our situations. I told him

1630
01:09:37,600 --> 01:09:40,280
Speaker 1: I wanted to get a polygel nail kit so I

1631
01:09:40,320 --> 01:09:42,479
Speaker 1: could do my own nails again. I lost my old

1632
01:09:42,520 --> 01:09:45,640
Speaker 1: stuff in a fire. He said, I do like when

1633
01:09:45,680 --> 01:09:46,719
Speaker 1: your nails done.

1634
01:09:47,040 --> 01:09:49,839
Speaker 3: I'm just picture you. Were like, oh no, I always

1635
01:09:49,920 --> 01:09:52,720
Speaker 3: had to share with my sisters, but I guess you're

1636
01:09:52,800 --> 01:09:55,920
Speaker 3: not my sister. She's like, well, I'm gonna buy a

1637
01:09:56,000 --> 01:09:58,720
Speaker 3: nail kit okay, and I'm gonna get my nails done.

1638
01:09:59,080 --> 01:10:02,840
Speaker 3: He's like, and do like when your nails are done.

1639
01:10:02,960 --> 01:10:05,400
Speaker 2: I do think your nails look nice. I think they

1640
01:10:05,479 --> 01:10:06,680
Speaker 2: look pretty.

1641
01:10:07,800 --> 01:10:12,080
Speaker 1: Okay. Hey, yeah, yet this is how the story ends.

1642
01:10:12,160 --> 01:10:14,120
Speaker 1: Is about to make your brain melt. Oh no, here

1643
01:10:14,160 --> 01:10:18,280
Speaker 1: we go. Oh no, no, it's good. Okay, but it's like,

1644
01:10:18,439 --> 01:10:21,320
Speaker 1: what what what did we just talk about for twenty minutes.

1645
01:10:21,360 --> 01:10:23,879
Speaker 2: I told him I wanted to get a polygel nail.

1646
01:10:23,720 --> 01:10:25,599
Speaker 1: Kit so I could do my own nails again, and

1647
01:10:25,640 --> 01:10:28,200
Speaker 1: he said, I do like when your nails are done.

1648
01:10:28,320 --> 01:10:31,519
Speaker 1: Then we went out for a nice breakfast. So yeah,

1649
01:10:31,640 --> 01:10:34,880
Speaker 1: I'm keeping a Derned gift card. The end, thank you,

1650
01:10:35,240 --> 01:10:38,080
Speaker 1: and good night, and that's the end of that story.