Speaker 1: What's up. Dead As Family is devou of course, as
Speaker 1: you can see, Codeine is not with me, but she
Speaker 1: shares the same sentiment. We want to let you guys
Speaker 1: know that this episode of dead as podcast was filmed
Speaker 1: and recorded prior to Kevin Samuel's untimely death and we
Speaker 1: wanted to send our blessings and prayers to his family
Speaker 1: and also say rest in peace to him. High value
Speaker 1: can only be determined by the person willing to pay
Speaker 1: the calls. M m m m mmmmmm. So that means
Speaker 1: if you have a beer budget and champagne taste, you
Speaker 1: out of luck. Hey, I'm and we're the Ellises. You
Speaker 1: may know us from posting funny videos with our boys
Speaker 1: and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy. Wait,
Speaker 1: I'll make you need therapy most days. Wow. And one
Speaker 1: more important thing to mention, we're married. We are. We
Speaker 1: created this podcast to open dialogue about some of life's
Speaker 1: most taboo topics, things most folks don't want to talk
Speaker 1: about through the lens of a millennium married couple. Dead
Speaker 1: ads is the term that we say every day. So
Speaker 1: when we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts, the truth,
Speaker 1: the whole truth. And nothing but the truth. We're about
Speaker 1: to take Pillow Talk to a whole new level. Dead
Speaker 1: ass starts right now. I'm actually going to take this
Speaker 1: back to very recent I was out with. I'm not
Speaker 1: trying to out anybody. Somebody can tell you who I
Speaker 1: was out with. But there was a bunch of single
Speaker 1: people and we were all discussing what we consider to
Speaker 1: be high value, right, And there was one man in particular,
Speaker 1: can't say his name because y'all know him. He's a
Speaker 1: friend of the show, and and he was talking about
Speaker 1: what he considers a high man based on what women
Speaker 1: have told him. High value man, right, So of course
Speaker 1: you have to make over six figures, gotta be over
Speaker 1: six ft tall. I gotta believe in God, gotta be
Speaker 1: good in bed, gotta have a six pack, gotta have
Speaker 1: nice teeth, gotta be a family man. I grew up
Speaker 1: with both your parents. And he said, that's why bitches
Speaker 1: are single, because that nigga don't exist. I was like,
Speaker 1: that's not true. That man might exist somewhere, it might
Speaker 1: not be minus the six ft. So I so I'm
Speaker 1: not but I'm not high value enough then, so for
Speaker 1: some women I don't I don't cut it right, So
Speaker 1: lucky you, Yes, lucky, but it's um. It was just
Speaker 1: funny to me in this moment where we were sitting
Speaker 1: at the table with these single women and listening to
Speaker 1: what their idea of what a high value man is,
Speaker 1: and then we were talking about what high value woman
Speaker 1: is and for men, it really just came down to
Speaker 1: looks and being willing to just take care of the man.
Speaker 1: That was it. If she looks good and she takes
Speaker 1: care of me, she's a high value woman. And the
Speaker 1: women were just flabbergasted at this. We haven't dinner. They
Speaker 1: was just like what and they were just like all
Speaker 1: the men were kind of being like like, that's all
Speaker 1: I really look for. There was like nothing having to
Speaker 1: do with earning, potential, background, up bringing. We're going to
Speaker 1: dive into this more. We're going to dive is more.
Speaker 1: But the story in it is that women didn't know
Speaker 1: what men considered to be high value for a woman,
Speaker 1: and men didn't know what women excided to be high
Speaker 1: value for men. But we're all out here trying to
Speaker 1: find each other. Sounds like a clusterfuck of confusion. Ask
Speaker 1: me literally, this sound like a clusterficker of confusion. And
Speaker 1: we we all sat there like amazed at what the
Speaker 1: other side really I thought high value was can't you
Speaker 1: pay my bills? Can you paying my automobi telephone bills?
Speaker 1: Thinking maybe we could chill. Don't think so you and me?
Speaker 1: Do do? Do? Do? Do Do you know what that song
Speaker 1: reminds me of? People make it seem like this whole
Speaker 1: high value man woman things like a new thing because
Speaker 1: of Twitter. But in two thousand and two, bills bills,
Speaker 1: bills came out, then no scrubs came out, then no
Speaker 1: pigeons came out. So it's like this has been an
Speaker 1: ongoing conversation. This is nothing new, nothing, nothing new. All right,
Speaker 1: let's take a quick break, Yes, and then I guess
Speaker 1: we'll get into the show. Yes, high value man and woman?
Speaker 1: What does that look like? M So we're back story time.
Speaker 1: It's always interesting conversation. I feel like when we sit
Speaker 1: down with our single friends, because you know, I will
Speaker 1: be completely honest. Deval and I both I think, at
Speaker 1: separate times in different moments, has said, Man, I wonder
Speaker 1: what it would be like to be singles some days?
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Because we started dating at
Speaker 1: eighteen and literally we're together for twenty years. Of course
Speaker 1: we hit our moments of like, you know, breaks and whatnot.
Speaker 1: But UM, I do not envy the cess pool that
Speaker 1: is dating. I mean, that's not my words. These are
Speaker 1: words I've heard from single people, you know. Um. And
Speaker 1: it's just I think a lot of general confusion that's
Speaker 1: happening because it's simply put here or simply put in
Speaker 1: the conversation that we had with our friends. No one
Speaker 1: really knows what the other person is looking for sometimes,
Speaker 1: and people are guessing for the most part. Well, shout
Speaker 1: out because she put together this list right, high value
Speaker 1: according to the Internet. Well let's tell them what high
Speaker 1: value is. Because at first, when I heard the term
Speaker 1: my value, I was putting it in a different context.
Speaker 1: So the term high value has gained popularity in the
Speaker 1: most recent years, UM, mostly due to influencers like Kevin
Speaker 1: Samuel's I'm sure a lot of people are familiar with
Speaker 1: who often boiled down the term to the amount of
Speaker 1: money and man makes and the ability for a woman
Speaker 1: to produce pretty babies. But as complex human beings with
Speaker 1: our own unique background experiences, there has to be more
Speaker 1: that makes us valuable partners, don't you think, um, Like
Speaker 1: I said in my sound bite, value is determined by
Speaker 1: the person willing to pay the costs. So um, we
Speaker 1: really can't decide what's valuable to people. We have let
Speaker 1: them decide. But like I was saying, according to the Internet,
Speaker 1: which is I say all the time, is always the
Speaker 1: loud minority because and it's gonna sound crazy, don't get
Speaker 1: upset at me, but studies show that most of the
Speaker 1: people who consistently interact on people consistently interact on the
Speaker 1: Internet do not sit in the majority. This is typically
Speaker 1: the minority, or the extremist. The extremists often sit on
Speaker 1: the Internet and combat with other extremists. Most people with
Speaker 1: any idea, whether it's politics, religion, or sex or anything,
Speaker 1: there's there's always a moderate. But it seems like the
Speaker 1: extremists always sit on the Internet and argue with each other.
Speaker 1: But then we look at the extremes and consider that
Speaker 1: to be the truth. And we we have the popular opinion,
Speaker 1: the popular opinion, And we have to say that upfront
Speaker 1: because we're using the Internet as a barometer because it's
Speaker 1: will we find people opinions, and it's also just entertaining.
Speaker 1: But the Internet is not real. People, like we have
Speaker 1: to we have to just say this. The Internet is
Speaker 1: not a real place. Yes, it's not like we have
Speaker 1: Earth and then we have the Internet where other people
Speaker 1: live on the Internet. It's just it's just not real.
Speaker 1: And you can do that if you want. But some
Speaker 1: people do live on the Internet. Hey, but high value
Speaker 1: according to the Internet, right, the value of something determined
Speaker 1: by what the market is willing to pay for it. Okay,
Speaker 1: six traits of a high value man. According to Mr Kevin,
Speaker 1: Samuel's number one, making at least ten k per month
Speaker 1: that will put you in a hundred twenty dollars all right,
Speaker 1: has made at least ten k per month for at
Speaker 1: least three years, so you have to be doing this.
Speaker 1: He's also accepted by other other high value men, which
Speaker 1: means it's not only about what you make. You have
Speaker 1: to be accepted by other men who make similar amounts
Speaker 1: of money. Right to the rolling rolling in similar circles.
Speaker 1: I guess, yes, But also I guess when it means
Speaker 1: accepted by other high value men. You can make your
Speaker 1: money anyway, but if the way you make your money
Speaker 1: isn't accepted by other high value men, then it's kind
Speaker 1: of like I can see that, you know, what I'm saying, like,
Speaker 1: it's really a high value man as a network of
Speaker 1: other high value men that goes what you just said,
Speaker 1: has a network, so he hangs with all the high
Speaker 1: value man His value is visible on the internet. On
Speaker 1: the Internet. Again, that's that's crazy. Is useful to his
Speaker 1: group of high value men. This is what's crazy. Nothing
Speaker 1: in here has anything to do with women at all,
Speaker 1: at all, at all. This is about how he is
Speaker 1: fearing amongst his comrades for the most part. And I mean,
Speaker 1: if you think about it, kind of makes sense because
Speaker 1: if we're going to rate high value men, you have
Speaker 1: to rate them against other men on the internet. At
Speaker 1: that visible on the Internet. So it means that the
Speaker 1: people who are posting the highlight reels of their life
Speaker 1: on the Internet are the ones that would fall on
Speaker 1: which which to me is kind of crazy because if
Speaker 1: you don't post on the Internet, then it means you're
Speaker 1: not a high value man. Even if you do fit
Speaker 1: all of these things, it's not If it's not visible
Speaker 1: on internet according to this list, then it's not high value.
Speaker 1: And then I also would think that men and women,
Speaker 1: I mean it could go either way, would be concerned
Speaker 1: about posting the fact or just announcing the fact that
Speaker 1: they make over six figures, because then that in itself,
Speaker 1: it makes you wonder are people really even pursuing you
Speaker 1: for genuine reasons or is it because they see value
Speaker 1: in you? Well, I mean, I mean, but the best
Speaker 1: with dating is all about dating. Dating is all about
Speaker 1: putting what you offer in the forefront so that you
Speaker 1: can attract other people. Let's think about the Latin right,
Speaker 1: lain nothing about it. Suitors when they wanted the princess's attention,
Speaker 1: they had to come flaunt their riches to prove that
Speaker 1: they were worthy. So, I mean, some of the things
Speaker 1: he's coming from is not like he's pulling it out
Speaker 1: of there. And now he's talking about Disney. That's another fantasy.
Speaker 1: Asked world too. It is remember the way they romanticize marriages. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's that's fine, So let's take it to real life recording.
Speaker 1: According right, it is a man's responsibility to take a
Speaker 1: woman out on a date. Right, it is a man's
Speaker 1: responsibility to show her the type of life she could
Speaker 1: live if she was a part of his life, which
Speaker 1: means he has to kind of flaunce his his ability
Speaker 1: to provide. It's the same thing. I mean the same thing.
Speaker 1: It's just not paying an advocate because I just I'm
Speaker 1: just saying like, we can't say it shallow when realistically
Speaker 1: this is what I mean. People. You know what's funny,
Speaker 1: I don't even think that a shallow per se. I
Speaker 1: was just playing Devil's advocate because I can think of
Speaker 1: even early on when for example, in most cultures, not
Speaker 1: most some cultures, they arrange marriages. So you know that
Speaker 1: this family is coming with a certain amount of value,
Speaker 1: and this family is coming with a certain amount of values.
Speaker 1: So you want to put two children together who can
Speaker 1: maintain the value or grow the value because they are
Speaker 1: together and being a parent. Now I have an understanding
Speaker 1: I think greater of that kind of mindset. You know,
Speaker 1: after just working so hard for years building everything up
Speaker 1: as a family, you want to pay child with some
Speaker 1: in social settings you have jack and jails for example. Right,
Speaker 1: you want to get together with other affluent black people
Speaker 1: with your kids together, not a mingle. Hopefully they you know,
Speaker 1: will grow together and maybe something will happen. So let
Speaker 1: me ask you a question. Listening to all of this,
Speaker 1: do you feel like, as a woman, if you were single,
Speaker 1: these would be the things that would you would consider
Speaker 1: a high value man. But I wouldn't necessarily be placing
Speaker 1: him amongst other men. I think that's more of like
Speaker 1: a guy thing where you guys would be saying, Okay, well,
Speaker 1: you know he makes a certain amount of money. He
Speaker 1: makes a certain amount of money, then we can kind
Speaker 1: of get together and potentially invest or do things together,
Speaker 1: or you can grow your your knowledge base being around
Speaker 1: these kind of men um. Being a woman looking at this,
Speaker 1: I think tank here a month is fair, that's what
Speaker 1: the years that would be a fair place to start
Speaker 1: as a woman. If I'm saying okay, I'm looking at
Speaker 1: it for at least three years, which means he is sustainable,
Speaker 1: absolutely sustainable lifestyle with the room for growth. I mean
Speaker 1: growth because you are expensive, I am, But it is
Speaker 1: about other high value man. I think that is important
Speaker 1: because even if you make that much money per month, right,
Speaker 1: what if you do it in an unsavory way? Right?
Speaker 1: What if you sell drugs within your community? What if
Speaker 1: you're a pimp? You know what I'm saying, Like, that's
Speaker 1: you're not that's not considered high value because you're utilizing
Speaker 1: an extorting, not extorting exploiting other people and their safety
Speaker 1: in order for you to make money. So I think
Speaker 1: the acceptance from other high value men means that people
Speaker 1: respect your hustle, in your grind and how you're able
Speaker 1: to bring value. You see what I'm saying, Like, I
Speaker 1: think that's where that that comes from. But on here
Speaker 1: is nothing having to do with looks, uh, morals, family background, Um,
Speaker 1: nothing is in that particular list where I know for
Speaker 1: a fact as a woman. So I was gonna ask
Speaker 1: you what's what's missing from this? What's missing? I think
Speaker 1: looks definitely, that's the first thing. Is if people want
Speaker 1: to call it a a shallow they can, But that's the
Speaker 1: first thing that's going to actually attract someone to someone
Speaker 1: Like I'm going to be in a room full of men,
Speaker 1: who is my eyes going to land on first? And
Speaker 1: then from there you spark conversation and then you go
Speaker 1: on definitely just play Devil's advocate. Here. There are more unattractive,
Speaker 1: higher paid men with options for women then there are
Speaker 1: attractive men with no money. So I would I would
Speaker 1: beg to differ that looks matter that much to women
Speaker 1: because it seems as if it don't matter what you
Speaker 1: look like if you can take care of women. That's
Speaker 1: for some women. If I'm looking at you and waking
Speaker 1: up to you every morning, you gotta look like this
Speaker 1: fine specimen next to stop before you get pregnant. No, no, no, no, seriously, though,
Speaker 1: like when you when you, when you answer the question,
Speaker 1: I want you to try not to answer just for you,
Speaker 1: Try to answer for what, like your your friends and like,
Speaker 1: try to think about how women are they want someone
Speaker 1: that looks good initially at least, and are some women
Speaker 1: who are willing to buy pass that and say you
Speaker 1: know what? Okay? On the scale of one to ten,
Speaker 1: he's varing around five six. However, he has an amazing personality,
Speaker 1: was brought up the right right way, loves his mama
Speaker 1: you could tell, takes care of his family. Um what else?
Speaker 1: So where does looks fall on the list of high
Speaker 1: value because the relative to the purchasing. So when it
Speaker 1: comes to getting married, because looks can be important for me,
Speaker 1: it seems like looks as important for dating and casually
Speaker 1: having sex that when it comes down to marrying a man,
Speaker 1: it seems like women don't care as much about looks
Speaker 1: as they care more about providing and protecting and stability.
Speaker 1: Is that fair? I mean I think that would be
Speaker 1: fair to say, Um, for some women, UM, you would
Speaker 1: hope that somebody that you want to marry or eventually
Speaker 1: will marry, is somebody that you can still be attracted to, because,
Speaker 1: let's face it, even all this money and stuff aside,
Speaker 1: you're going to want somebody that you're physically attracted to.
Speaker 1: Sex is important, you know, like that is important women? Wow? Wow,
Speaker 1: it's just I think it's important for both parties. It
Speaker 1: is because whenever, because whenever a man says sex is important,
Speaker 1: women always say sex is not that important. I think
Speaker 1: it's important in marriage. Is it agreed upon often in marriage?
Speaker 1: Not upon blasted for saying that sex is not that important.
Speaker 1: It's not that high tone, imp Okay. So sex may
Speaker 1: fall on different levels for men versus women in marriage,
Speaker 1: but I think overall sex is important because it's always
Speaker 1: a topic of conversation. All right. So I like where
Speaker 1: this is going because now we're talking about a high
Speaker 1: value man, not in terms of Kevin Samuel's saying his
Speaker 1: list is based on him and he's The truth is
Speaker 1: he's a heterosexual man. So if we're being honest, his
Speaker 1: ideas of what a high value man is don't doesn't
Speaker 1: matter because we're not trying to attract Kevin Samuels are
Speaker 1: trying to He's right, so men are trying to be
Speaker 1: attractive to women in this case. So if this is
Speaker 1: the case, you're saying looks is of paramount importance, I
Speaker 1: think it looks. It's definitely high up there on the
Speaker 1: list for sure. And then we're talking about marriage, not
Speaker 1: just dating at this point, like deliberately, like dating deliberately
Speaker 1: to find someone to Yeah, thinks I just feel like
Speaker 1: that's just the initial step in order to say, hey,
Speaker 1: what's going to intrigue me to come up to you
Speaker 1: and say, hey, hey, what's your name? It looks that's
Speaker 1: gonna be the initial thing for me. So the first
Speaker 1: thing is looks right. I'm checking out your teeth, that's breath,
Speaker 1: your fingernails, how well you're put together? Is your clothes
Speaker 1: put on properly? Did you iron? Here's another question though,
Speaker 1: when you if you were single and approaching man a man,
Speaker 1: are you approaching every man with the idea that this
Speaker 1: might be my husband or it's like, let's see if
Speaker 1: I have fun first, and then if I have fun,
Speaker 1: then this might be I think if I'm intentional and
Speaker 1: I'm deliberate about where I am. Say I am in
Speaker 1: the pursuit of someone to marry, then yes, I would
Speaker 1: pursue somebody with that off the bat, like, hey, you
Speaker 1: know what's going on. You have to get to know
Speaker 1: the person first. But because we have to be heir
Speaker 1: to both men and women in this day and age.
Speaker 1: Back in the day, and we're talking about way back
Speaker 1: in the day when it was all about chivalry and
Speaker 1: women weren't even in the workforce that month. Much women
Speaker 1: dated differently, right because at the time, like say the
Speaker 1: fifties and sixties, when women were not in the workforce,
Speaker 1: when you met a man, you were meeting a man
Speaker 1: for a marriage. Now women make their own money, so
Speaker 1: even their value on how much money a man makes
Speaker 1: doesn't have to be as high as it once was
Speaker 1: because they can take care of themselves and a lot
Speaker 1: more women have more sexual freedom. So sometimes women aren't
Speaker 1: even coming to the table with I'm looking for a husband.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's like, yo, I may be looking for a
Speaker 1: good time, not a long time. So I think as
Speaker 1: long as you're deliberate about and you set that intention
Speaker 1: off the bat, but not on the initial meet up.
Speaker 1: I mean I'm thinking. I'm talking about like the first
Speaker 1: meet up, first met Yeah, it's just attraction. So it's like, great,
Speaker 1: let's see where this goes. But if you know in
Speaker 1: the back of your mind that that's eventually where you
Speaker 1: would like to land is to be married, then that's
Speaker 1: dating with what purpose? Dating with intention? That the term
Speaker 1: I hear a lot of people use. Now and then
Speaker 1: you have the ones that you said are just out
Speaker 1: for a good time. Okay, so you got looks right
Speaker 1: after looks, I would definitely say money money, okay, So
Speaker 1: after you have going on a couple of dates, you're
Speaker 1: going on a couple of days. The first thing you're thinking,
Speaker 1: after he's attractive is can he support my lifestyle or
Speaker 1: could we if we were to be together? Is this
Speaker 1: type of lifestyle that I could live right? Or for me,
Speaker 1: it's more about let me see where this man's ambition is.
Speaker 1: You know, it's more. It's not just only money. Sometimes
Speaker 1: a lot of ambitions. So I want to see a drive,
Speaker 1: I want to see a hustle. I want to see
Speaker 1: it work because it can lead to money. However, not
Speaker 1: also talk. You know, some people talk a good game
Speaker 1: and they can sound super ambitious and they can sound
Speaker 1: like they have all the right ideas, and then that's
Speaker 1: that person that is waiting to get their truck and
Speaker 1: company off the ground, and then years later nothing happens
Speaker 1: because they may have the gift of gap and they
Speaker 1: may be able to tell you about all the things
Speaker 1: that they have in the work that may never come
Speaker 1: to fruition. So I think that it's important to decipher,
Speaker 1: like what's the difference between someone who is actually putting
Speaker 1: the wheels into motion to achieve these things versus someone
Speaker 1: who just has the gift of gab and can talk
Speaker 1: a good one. So his looks. Then it's to see
Speaker 1: where his financial situation is, his ambition is, Um, what's
Speaker 1: the next? I would love to see how he is
Speaker 1: around like his groups of friends, family. I think that's
Speaker 1: a very big telltale sign when you were talking to someone.
Speaker 1: So his network, so yeah, also determines his value. I agree. Okay, Okay,
Speaker 1: so yeah, it has a network. I mean I guess
Speaker 1: I wouldn't necessarily say that accepted by other high value man.
Speaker 1: But yes, there's two difference. It's accepted by other high
Speaker 1: value man and then has a network, right, So yeah,
Speaker 1: I would have to agree with having a network of
Speaker 1: other high value men, because if you're the sixth person
Speaker 1: in a group of six millionaires, then you're going to
Speaker 1: be the next millionaire. Right. If you're the sixth person
Speaker 1: in a group of bumps, then you're going to be
Speaker 1: the next month. So when you have a high network
Speaker 1: of a network of high value men, more than likely
Speaker 1: this person can sustain being a high value person because
Speaker 1: their network allows them to continue to grow. They're around
Speaker 1: people have like minded you know. Um, So so here's
Speaker 1: here's the thing it says, is accepted by other high
Speaker 1: value men. Right. Um, We also had this conversation because
Speaker 1: amongst my friends who are professional, right trying to compete
Speaker 1: with scammers, drug dealers and other men who don't make
Speaker 1: their money in the quote unquote legal savory way, how
Speaker 1: does a professional man compete with those men? And that's
Speaker 1: where I think it comes to, is accepted by other
Speaker 1: high value men because for example, you know, we come
Speaker 1: from Brooklyn, Flatbush Canards. Scamming is a big deal. These
Speaker 1: dudes make a lot of money. So for a lot
Speaker 1: of young women it's easier to be attracted to that
Speaker 1: type of lifestyle, and they pass over on the good
Speaker 1: guy and the funny things. That's what I mean. The
Speaker 1: other day that said, um, a lot of you young
Speaker 1: women passed up on the good guy to be with
Speaker 1: the drug dealer, but now you're looking for a good
Speaker 1: guy to raise the drug dealers kids. And I was like,
Speaker 1: that's that's deep, you know what I'm saying. And then
Speaker 1: and that goes back to when you're looking for a man, right,
Speaker 1: his acceptance in society, not just a high value man,
Speaker 1: but in society kind of determines on you know, longevity.
Speaker 1: You know, can he sustain that lifestyle or is that
Speaker 1: the lifestyle is going to lead to either death or prison?
Speaker 1: And I think that's where it comes from accepted by
Speaker 1: other high value man what I'm saying, So, where is
Speaker 1: that going on the list for women? Yeah? I think
Speaker 1: that I guess, you know, kind of maybe at the
Speaker 1: same level of network, if not right below that. Yeah.
Speaker 1: That's also I think very very important, especially when you
Speaker 1: are thinking about just longevity and a relationship, because you know,
Speaker 1: of course any relationship is going to have its ebbs
Speaker 1: and flows, but if you have somebody who is at
Speaker 1: least solid and you know that once you're together, of course,
Speaker 1: better together is what we've experienced as well too, So
Speaker 1: days when you didn't have it, I had it vice versa.
Speaker 1: So um, if I at least know that I'm rocking
Speaker 1: with somebody who I can depend on, then it's a win.
Speaker 1: He also put here his value is visible on the Internet.
Speaker 1: I wonder if he put that based on what he's
Speaker 1: heard from women. M it's if he's made his list
Speaker 1: based on this is what women are saying. I wonder too,
Speaker 1: because in my circle of friends, I've spoken you know
Speaker 1: about random, random um interactions that my single friends have
Speaker 1: had and whatnot. So one thing that is sometimes a
Speaker 1: turn off or raises a red flag, because everyone's throwing
Speaker 1: out red flags now, is if you meet someone you
Speaker 1: get their Instagram page and their pages private, or if
Speaker 1: you get someone and they don't have social media. It's
Speaker 1: almost it's almost as if to say, what do you
Speaker 1: have to hide? Though? Why are you out on social
Speaker 1: media so no one can find you on Facebook and Instagram?
Speaker 1: It's like, do you really want to be that detached
Speaker 1: from the world from people from your past, because you
Speaker 1: know the Internet has a way of keeping you to
Speaker 1: the past. Flag. But I'm gonna be honest, that doesn't
Speaker 1: bother me. It wouldn't bother me either, but in moments, yeah,
Speaker 1: because it's just like there's so much value placed on
Speaker 1: this world of the internet and social media that it's
Speaker 1: like if you don't have these things, something is wrong
Speaker 1: with you. Some things that because what's the mystery behind
Speaker 1: this person why they don't have a social media it's
Speaker 1: calling in conversation. So you would say that his list
Speaker 1: is pretty I would say, this is pretty accurate, and
Speaker 1: then of course adding to you would add looks. You
Speaker 1: would add looks. You would also add how they treat
Speaker 1: their family and interact with their family. And what was
Speaker 1: the other one you said? You would add, I mean,
Speaker 1: as I get to know the guy, it would be
Speaker 1: how he treats me, you know, full respectable yep, I
Speaker 1: mean sex if it eventually lead to that, yeah, sextually,
Speaker 1: because because he doesn't have sex here, which would lead
Speaker 1: me to believe that women don't value sex when they
Speaker 1: think about a high value man. But you're saying that
Speaker 1: that's not the kid, because, like you said, Kevin two
Speaker 1: is probably as a hetero sexual male is not interested
Speaker 1: in that. But as a woman, yes, sex is definitely important.
Speaker 1: And size there you go, So I mean and that's
Speaker 1: but that's important that he should put that up there, right,
Speaker 1: so size matters. There you go. And I think that
Speaker 1: that's important because to be exact length and girth, because
Speaker 1: I've known a person or two who's been talking to
Speaker 1: somebody and things were going really well and and he's
Speaker 1: so nice, and you know, he may not even necessarily
Speaker 1: be attend you know, he might be a six point
Speaker 1: five and then one thing leads to another and he's
Speaker 1: like a three point five in the pants, and then
Speaker 1: that in itself can be a turn off too. Well.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna be honest and say that them. I
Speaker 1: think that is fair because we put so much pressure
Speaker 1: on women to look a certain way and to be
Speaker 1: a certain thing that if that's what you require as
Speaker 1: a woman, I think it's fair for you to ask that.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Like, I don't. To me,
Speaker 1: I don't think anything is shallow because you have one life,
Speaker 1: and I think in life you should go for exactly
Speaker 1: what you want and you shouldn't be shamed for saying
Speaker 1: exactly what you want and what you need because it's
Speaker 1: your life. You know what I'm saying, Like, like, no,
Speaker 1: no one can shame you for saying this is what
Speaker 1: I want or need. Um. I do think in because
Speaker 1: of misogyny, they have taken away a woman's right to
Speaker 1: say what she wants or need sexually, right because it's
Speaker 1: like we can't hurt the male ego. But you know
Speaker 1: what happens when you do that. Women go into these
Speaker 1: relationships and become unfulfilled because their whole life they're told
Speaker 1: you can't say what you want to need from your
Speaker 1: husband or your man, and you have to just take
Speaker 1: what they give and your unful fild and then you
Speaker 1: reached that breaking point where you know, what, this is
Speaker 1: not for me, and then women are just like men
Speaker 1: and like I'm gonna go get what I need or
Speaker 1: what I want regardless of what you think. That happens
Speaker 1: a lot a lot of people are entering into these
Speaker 1: marriages and being like, you know, this isn't actually for me.
Speaker 1: So if I'm being honest, I think women should be
Speaker 1: honest about what they want and need sexually the same
Speaker 1: way men are. This way, we can be up front
Speaker 1: and say, all right, that's what you want to need,
Speaker 1: and if I meet that, then we cool. If I'm not,
Speaker 1: then let's move on. You know what I'm saying, but
Speaker 1: we had that conversation as well too at the table,
Speaker 1: and it was interesting to hear women's perspectives on sex
Speaker 1: when it comes to that, And I think we should
Speaker 1: talk about that, because you know what tripped me out there?
Speaker 1: There were five six traits for a high value man,
Speaker 1: but they were fifteen traits. I was like, wait a
Speaker 1: second hand, so fifteen trains. Let me tell you what
Speaker 1: the fifteen trains for a high value women are. So
Speaker 1: I'm not sure where this list came from, doing O trouble,
Speaker 1: but this wasn't. This wasn't according to And I think
Speaker 1: the reason why he doesn't have one for high value
Speaker 1: women is because his audience is predominantly women, so he
Speaker 1: hears from women what they consider to be a high
Speaker 1: value man. There's not a lot of men saying to
Speaker 1: him from all right, So first, she embraces femininity. She
Speaker 1: cares about her parents. She's agreeable, she's a champion of
Speaker 1: women's causes. She's kind, only associates with high value men,
Speaker 1: has good female friends, cares about her reputation, classy, always improved,
Speaker 1: always improving herself, a peacemaker, a tribe builder. Embraces healthy sexuality,
Speaker 1: not a victim saves her sexual power for one man. Wow. Wow.
Speaker 1: It just shows you how different the values are for
Speaker 1: men and women and what they put values in. It's
Speaker 1: almost like I read this and I felt like a around,
Speaker 1: like they were just like raising this woman onto a pedestal,
Speaker 1: like this is exactly what every man wants. And it
Speaker 1: may not be, it may not be. But but one
Speaker 1: thing I did notice that when you talk about men,
Speaker 1: the first thing they talked about was money in the
Speaker 1: first two and then the third one was his acceptance
Speaker 1: by other high value man, his network of other high
Speaker 1: value man. It has to be visible on the internet.
Speaker 1: So there's a huge emphasis on finance when it comes
Speaker 1: to men. Sure, when it comes to women, there's an
Speaker 1: emphasis on embracing femininity, her appearance, her being agreeable, champion
Speaker 1: in women's cause that you see, there's nothing here for
Speaker 1: the women about making money really at all. She associates
Speaker 1: with the high value man, but in what contexts, because
Speaker 1: I guess only associates with high value man means if
Speaker 1: she's dating, she's only dating men of a certain caliber,
Speaker 1: which I mean as a as a man, I would
Speaker 1: definitely put value on that. You know, I remember my
Speaker 1: uncle told me, Uncle Kevin, he was always had women
Speaker 1: around when I was growing up, and he was he
Speaker 1: was younger, but he always told me, you don't You
Speaker 1: don't go for the woman that's going after every guy.
Speaker 1: You go for the woman who's very selective, because if
Speaker 1: she chooses you, that means she's trying to see which
Speaker 1: guy works for her and not just running after attention
Speaker 1: from every guy. And he told me that from a
Speaker 1: young age, and I was just like, it makes sense,
Speaker 1: and and in my life that's typically the women that
Speaker 1: I gravitated towards. I wanted the quiet women who were
Speaker 1: themselves business, you know who. I was like, Okay, well,
Speaker 1: she's not running from for attention from everyone. She selected
Speaker 1: about who she gives her attention to, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. So I can get that for sure too. Um,
Speaker 1: she's agreeable, a champion of women's causes, is kind, always
Speaker 1: seeking to improves, so a pearance is on here moving herself.
Speaker 1: So she had mass taking some sort of pride in
Speaker 1: the way that she looks um embrations healthy sexuality. I
Speaker 1: guess that looks different for different people too, because right
Speaker 1: now we're in a in a culture where I guess
Speaker 1: sexual freedom. Yeah, but you can have sexual freedom and
Speaker 1: do it in a healthy way exactly. That's why it
Speaker 1: says embraces healthy sexuality, and I'm kind of glad that changes.
Speaker 1: But then it goes down and says she saves her
Speaker 1: sexual power for one man, which means men are high value.
Speaker 1: Men are looking for high value women who are seeking monogamy.
Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying it See it seems like
Speaker 1: they are looking for a woman who wants to be
Speaker 1: with one man and not necessarily looking to be with
Speaker 1: a bunch of different And then going back to like
Speaker 1: even just the finance part of it where it says
Speaker 1: that men are everything was pretty much based around money
Speaker 1: and nothing here having to do with that for women.
Speaker 1: How much is it do you think a high value
Speaker 1: man is looking for a woman who is high value
Speaker 1: making money? Well, for me personally, I've never considered how
Speaker 1: much money you make or a woman made to be
Speaker 1: a deal breaker for me. Right, Like my father always
Speaker 1: told me, it is my responsibility of the man to
Speaker 1: be able to provide and protect my wife. Because if
Speaker 1: I'm going to ask a woman to have children for me,
Speaker 1: what if she has a baby and she can't go
Speaker 1: back to work. You know what I'm saying like carrying
Speaker 1: and my father told me is carrying a baby is
Speaker 1: the hardest thing a person in the on the world
Speaker 1: has to do. It is unfair for a woman after
Speaker 1: having a baby to be forced to go back and
Speaker 1: split responsibilities in the household when she's had the sole
Speaker 1: responsibility of creating the life that y'all did together. And
Speaker 1: if you think about it, that makes sense. Now for
Speaker 1: some women that sounds misogynistic, and for some women it
Speaker 1: sounds like, well, I don't need to be protected. I
Speaker 1: could do my own. That's fine, and if that's fine
Speaker 1: for you, But me as a as a man that
Speaker 1: can handle all of the responsibility financially, I'm not looking
Speaker 1: for a woman to have that in order for us
Speaker 1: to be a pair. If she does, it's not a
Speaker 1: turn off because you make a lot of money. It
Speaker 1: wasn't a turn off. You always had career aspiration, so
Speaker 1: it's not a turn off. But there were moments in
Speaker 1: your life where you were just like, I kind of
Speaker 1: want to stay at home and focus on the kids,
Speaker 1: and I was like cool. So it also wasn't a
Speaker 1: turn off when you said you didn't want to earn.
Speaker 1: So for you, it was knowing that, okay, Karina's ambitios
Speaker 1: said she can do all the things, but she doesn't
Speaker 1: have to do all the things. A try builder, right,
Speaker 1: A try builder. When for me, when I when I
Speaker 1: saw you, it was like, this is a woman that
Speaker 1: could help me do anything I want to do. If
Speaker 1: I needed her to earn income, she can. If I
Speaker 1: needed her to take care of the kids, she can.
Speaker 1: When I need her to take care of me, she can.
Speaker 1: If I need her to help out with my parents,
Speaker 1: she can. You know what I'm saying, My my brother
Speaker 1: and sister. My brother and sister have kids. If if
Speaker 1: I need her to help with them, she can. To me,
Speaker 1: that will is one of the most important things in
Speaker 1: a high value woman. For me, it was she's a builder.
Speaker 1: I when I look at women, I look at your
Speaker 1: ability to create life and nurture. Right. So it's like
Speaker 1: anything I have, whether it's a child or an idea,
Speaker 1: you can nurture it to its full progression, to feel
Speaker 1: full potential and help it come to fruition. So that's interesting.
Speaker 1: I guess conversations like this um intrigued me, and I
Speaker 1: think they mildly trigger me in a sense, because I'm
Speaker 1: raising four boys who will eventually be men, and I
Speaker 1: want to be able to have conversations like this with
Speaker 1: them to just kind of prepare them for what they
Speaker 1: may encounter. Now. Granted, we were on a dating scene
Speaker 1: for years, and what the dating scene will look like
Speaker 1: for them when they're of age. God only knows what
Speaker 1: that's going to look like. But you know, I would
Speaker 1: want to hope that they would find somebody who is,
Speaker 1: you know, of equal um stock, you know, like somebody
Speaker 1: who can elevate them as well. I would be also
Speaker 1: very interested to putting on the list of high value things.
Speaker 1: That's particularly where my boys are looking for someone to
Speaker 1: to date eventually, if that's what they choose, I want
Speaker 1: to make sure that she has some earning potential and
Speaker 1: that she's not somebody that will just be hanging on
Speaker 1: just to hang on because it's like, oh, he got me,
Speaker 1: so I could just sit back and do whatever I
Speaker 1: feel you. But, UM, I'm gonna be honest, your boys
Speaker 1: may not be looking for that. Like um. We we
Speaker 1: have put our sons in a situation where they're not
Speaker 1: gonna have to come from the bottom like we came. Well,
Speaker 1: that's why I'm more concerned because it's like we've worked
Speaker 1: so hard to establish that for them. So it's like
Speaker 1: you're not about to just picked up any old body.
Speaker 1: But but my thing is, a woman's power doesn't any
Speaker 1: person's power doesn't always come from earning potential, right like that,
Speaker 1: that's just not the case. Just because you can't earn
Speaker 1: money doesn't mean you don't have value. And I say
Speaker 1: that for men and women, right, because you may have
Speaker 1: a woman who's just she's just a killer when it
Speaker 1: comes to creating revenue, and she may be looking at
Speaker 1: men like even if she may she makes may make
Speaker 1: so much money. Right, take say, for example, the budget
Speaker 1: Nesta she makes ten Tiffany, she makes ten figures a year.
Speaker 1: I can guarantee you she probably doesn't look at um,
Speaker 1: you know, and God rest her husband's so her husband
Speaker 1: just passed this past year. You know, prayers up to Tiffany,
Speaker 1: Elita and her husband. But if she were looking for
Speaker 1: another suitor, you know what I'm saying, She know she's
Speaker 1: still warning she's a widow. Now, I can guarantee you
Speaker 1: she's not probably saying you have to make X amount
Speaker 1: of dollars because money is not something she's looking for.
Speaker 1: She probably has so many other things in her life
Speaker 1: that she wants or needs help with that she may
Speaker 1: be looking for a man that could help facilitate those things,
Speaker 1: and it may have nothing to do with revenue. Does
Speaker 1: that make him of that's value because he doesn't do that. No,
Speaker 1: because value is only determined by the person willing to
Speaker 1: pay pay the cost for see what I'm saying. Definitely
Speaker 1: so to be perfectly honest, And that's that was the
Speaker 1: whole point of my sound bite. These lists really make
Speaker 1: no fucking sense, right because once, once you create a
Speaker 1: list like this, right for a man or a woman,
Speaker 1: what you're then doing is conditioning people to look for
Speaker 1: that as opposed to conditioning them to look within to say,
Speaker 1: what do I need? And what Once I figure out
Speaker 1: what I need, what do I need? What do I
Speaker 1: have to offer this person who may have these things
Speaker 1: on their list? On one second, I'm gonna make it
Speaker 1: very direct to you. Right, when I retired from the NFL,
Speaker 1: I was still a high value man, still made a
Speaker 1: lot of money, but in that moment, I wasn't making
Speaker 1: any money. I needed an earner, did I not? Right?
Speaker 1: I need it? So when that moment I needed a
Speaker 1: woman who can generate revenue. While I was building my business,
Speaker 1: I was in a moment of entrepreneurship. So it's funny
Speaker 1: how all of these traits for high value women right,
Speaker 1: don't have anything about earning potential or education, right. But
Speaker 1: the truth of the matter is any woman who comes
Speaker 1: to the table with earning potential and an education is
Speaker 1: high value. Because I did also see on the internet
Speaker 1: that they were saying, so you're telling me a woman
Speaker 1: that has an education and is earning money is not
Speaker 1: a value to a higher earning man, or it could
Speaker 1: be intimidating to that man. And there was a debate
Speaker 1: going on, and I was like, and I was watching,
Speaker 1: and I was sitting there saying like absolutely not, Like
Speaker 1: absolutely not. That's that doesn't put you lower on the
Speaker 1: list because you're more educated. Because there's also this myth
Speaker 1: that black women are some of the most educated people
Speaker 1: in this country. Of all the demographics, all the races,
Speaker 1: black women have the most degrees, and that's what makes
Speaker 1: them the least attractive because they have the most degrees,
Speaker 1: is that their at least attractive. No, No, the myth
Speaker 1: is automatically that they're the least attractive. That's the myth.
Speaker 1: And then and then the answer to that is, well,
Speaker 1: they have the most degrees, they're the most intimidating to
Speaker 1: high value men because high value men don't value women
Speaker 1: with degrees. You know what I'm saying now, They always
Speaker 1: changed the goal post. Before it was the degrease things.
Speaker 1: It was women. Black women weren't are desirable because they
Speaker 1: just didn't look good. Right, and then we watched how
Speaker 1: society has just mimicked and imitated everything from a black
Speaker 1: woman from her hips to her breast, to her lips,
Speaker 1: to her hair. So now it's no longer that they're
Speaker 1: not attractive. No, that's not what it is. What that
Speaker 1: that was a lot. What we're saying now is that
Speaker 1: they're so educated because they had to carry the black
Speaker 1: community for so long, that they're intimidating to high value men.
Speaker 1: So if you want to get a high value man,
Speaker 1: you should dumb yourself down and not talking about how
Speaker 1: much money you make. That's that's what we're seeing on
Speaker 1: the internet. And what we talked about before on the
Speaker 1: internet is that it's not a real place. It's always
Speaker 1: the extremists and the loud minority sharing their opinion the
Speaker 1: most and people thinking that this is what it is.
Speaker 1: I'm telling you it's not. Because there was their percentage
Speaker 1: to about the number of black women marrying black men. Yes,
Speaker 1: because the the myth was that black men don't marry
Speaker 1: black women because they're not desired. And then pulled up
Speaker 1: the stat and this was a couple of years ago,
Speaker 1: it was over all black men who are married are
Speaker 1: married two black women. And then the myth was is
Speaker 1: that as black men ascend in life, they marry less
Speaker 1: black women, which we debunked, which was false because as
Speaker 1: black men made more than a hundred thousand dollars, which
Speaker 1: put them in the top two percent of earners, they
Speaker 1: married black women at a higher rate. And then once
Speaker 1: it was over two hundred thousand, which put them in
Speaker 1: the top one percent of earners, they hired black women
Speaker 1: at didn't even higher rate. But what they focused on
Speaker 1: was the few that married white women and said this
Speaker 1: was the standard, right, So and and and I just
Speaker 1: say all of this to say a lot of these
Speaker 1: traits to me, our traits of the loud minority who
Speaker 1: are saying what women and men need to be like
Speaker 1: in order to find love. And I'm giving you an
Speaker 1: example of a time where it's not real, Like I
Speaker 1: kid you not guys. When I was at my lowest
Speaker 1: coming out in the NFL, it was like I felt
Speaker 1: safe because I was like, you know what if I
Speaker 1: take at least four months and just focus on my
Speaker 1: business and let K handle this aspect, even though I
Speaker 1: was still paying all the bills and making sure everything
Speaker 1: was good because I'm still always going to be a provider.
Speaker 1: The fact that I knew my wife could handle it
Speaker 1: if I couldn't gave me enough goal to take chances
Speaker 1: and the level of comfort to do it while you
Speaker 1: were doing it. Absolutely, and I took those chances, and
Speaker 1: I reaped the benefits of those We reap the benefits
Speaker 1: of those chances, and it was able to get to
Speaker 1: a point where now I was like, Okay, okay, you
Speaker 1: can earn if you want to, but you don't have to.
Speaker 1: But those first that first year of marriage, you had to.
Speaker 1: We needed insurance, right, we needed additional income just in
Speaker 1: case something felt a business. We just had a baby
Speaker 1: and I needed an earner. Right. Here's here's quote unquote
Speaker 1: everything they said is in the high value man. Other
Speaker 1: than the fact that I'm about it in short of
Speaker 1: being but talk about it baby to ba but also
Speaker 1: to what this made me also and you saying that
Speaker 1: made me think that you had me in a space
Speaker 1: where I felt comfortable being able to sit back and
Speaker 1: do everything that I wanted to do for you and
Speaker 1: for us, because I knew I wasn't with some dude
Speaker 1: that was just some bumb mass too. That was on
Speaker 1: to the next you know dream quote unquote that he
Speaker 1: was trying to chase and not going to eventually bring
Speaker 1: this to fruition. I see what you're going. So you're saying,
Speaker 1: at that point, I wasn't making ten dollars a month,
Speaker 1: but you could see my potential and I knew because
Speaker 1: why we communicated about what we both were doing. We
Speaker 1: wanted there was a vigor behind us. There was a
Speaker 1: drive that was something that was not that was tangible.
Speaker 1: I could feel that. So although the tangible money wasn't
Speaker 1: in the account at that point. So that's deep because
Speaker 1: according to this, it says you're not considered the high
Speaker 1: value man if you haven't been making tank k tim
Speaker 1: k per month for the last three years. And what
Speaker 1: you're saying was you didn't need that, You didn't need
Speaker 1: that validation in that moment because you saw something in
Speaker 1: me that had more value than just me making tank
Speaker 1: to see. Now, that's that's deep. That's deep on both sides,
Speaker 1: because here you have a woman saying you saw something
Speaker 1: that wasn't on this list, and here you have a
Speaker 1: man saying that I saw something in you that wasn't
Speaker 1: on this list that people aren't mentioning, and that's what
Speaker 1: made us work, That's exactly. And that's the whole point
Speaker 1: of looking at these lists and saying why you can't
Speaker 1: just create a person based on the list you see
Speaker 1: on the internet because you don't know what you're gonna
Speaker 1: need or want that moment in life. Who this list together? Anyway?
Speaker 1: You know what I for them. There's another thing too.
Speaker 1: The loud minority be mostly people who are single on
Speaker 1: the internet. So it's like, if you're in a relationship
Speaker 1: and you're trying to determine if your man or your
Speaker 1: woman is of high value, why would you go to
Speaker 1: the internet. If you are in a relationship or you
Speaker 1: were married, you should not have time to be on
Speaker 1: the internet conversing about what it is that these people
Speaker 1: are looking for. I just I mean, but that, but
Speaker 1: that's but no. But let's think about it though. If
Speaker 1: you're going to decide what value is, why would you
Speaker 1: ask people who haven't been in successful relationships what they
Speaker 1: find value in Because clearly they haven't figured it out right,
Speaker 1: So what you should do is ask people who are
Speaker 1: in successful relationships what was the value you saw and
Speaker 1: your woman or your man? Because that, to me, should
Speaker 1: really be the amina. Right. We should start asking couples
Speaker 1: who have been together for a long period of time
Speaker 1: and have shown success in their life. I'm not talking
Speaker 1: about the couple that just stuck together and they hate
Speaker 1: each other. I'm talking about the couple who are continuously
Speaker 1: working together building businesses um um, building the next generation
Speaker 1: through their family, paying it forward. We should ask those couples,
Speaker 1: what did you find in value in a woman? What
Speaker 1: did you find value in a man? Because those are
Speaker 1: the people who figured it out. Asking a bunch of
Speaker 1: single people their values for for men and women to
Speaker 1: me make no sense. Whenever I meet a couple who's
Speaker 1: been together for a long time, you know, you'll meet
Speaker 1: somebody's parents or something and they're like, oh, we've been
Speaker 1: together for four and something years, married for years. I
Speaker 1: always asked them how did you make it work that long?
Speaker 1: What did you do? You know? And I remember seeing
Speaker 1: UM probably some Instagram video or something where they were
Speaker 1: in a nursing home or in a hospice care center,
Speaker 1: and they were asking these people who were pretty much
Speaker 1: in their last days, like what was your one regret
Speaker 1: in life? For? Like? What are the things that you
Speaker 1: issue could have changed? And I'm like, the people who
Speaker 1: have been through the most life and the most experiences
Speaker 1: are the ones who we should be asking. Not necessarily
Speaker 1: are pairs if that's something that we're aspiring to UM.
Speaker 1: So when it comes to high value men and women,
Speaker 1: there's a couple of things. I think we can also
Speaker 1: consider some things to add in there that can probably
Speaker 1: fall on either male or female UM. And in talking
Speaker 1: about just mental health awareness UM, emotions and all that
Speaker 1: emotional intelligence, it's very it's very good relationship requires great communication.
Speaker 1: So making sure that you have somebody who is able
Speaker 1: to express themselves, say how they feel, can just have
Speaker 1: a good conversation altogether. UM. Emotional intelligence is the basis
Speaker 1: of communication. So self awareness. Are they aware of their
Speaker 1: own emotions, their drives, their personality and passions? UM, self management,
Speaker 1: differing pleasures, staying power, grit, which is something that definitely
Speaker 1: saw on you. UM Social awareness, so are they aware
Speaker 1: of other people's emotions, emotions and social dynamics UM and
Speaker 1: relationship management. So that's building in managing positive relationships and
Speaker 1: that could not just be with you with people around
Speaker 1: them well automatically. I'm noticing two different things. First first
Speaker 1: and foremost, the first list was very superficial, and I
Speaker 1: think in a way it has to be because when
Speaker 1: you're thinking about what you're looking for, you don't know
Speaker 1: these people yet, so it's like we we also have
Speaker 1: to be fair to the list. That's because if we're
Speaker 1: talking about high value based on what we are aspiring
Speaker 1: to see you, you can't really say I know this
Speaker 1: person has this. It's like, well based on what I
Speaker 1: see surface level. So not for nothing, I may probably
Speaker 1: get some slack for this because I'm gonna applaud Kevin Samuels,
Speaker 1: and also the other person wrote this list is because
Speaker 1: what it has done is it's it has exposed people's
Speaker 1: flaws and what they're looking for in a life partner.
Speaker 1: You know if it's flawed and how your approach is
Speaker 1: social for someone based on what people have said is
Speaker 1: brings value to them, and I think that he has
Speaker 1: exposed that not only for women but also for men. Right,
Speaker 1: if you're going into situations with a very shallow, surface
Speaker 1: level viewpoint of what you want in a man or
Speaker 1: a woman, you're not going to ever find any real value.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. If you look at these
Speaker 1: lists here, and everything on the list is just surface, right,
Speaker 1: and all of these people check these boxes based on
Speaker 1: the surface. When you get into a relationship, now you're
Speaker 1: struggling because this person checks all my boxes of what
Speaker 1: I thought would be a high value person, and I
Speaker 1: should be in love. But they don't have emotional intelligence,
Speaker 1: they don't have social awareness, they're not empathetic. Then you're like,
Speaker 1: wait a minute, I found everything, but now I'm not happy.
Speaker 1: So then you go to the next version of that
Speaker 1: and you repeat the cycle of surface level, surface level,
Speaker 1: surface level, you get your heartbroken and you realize, like, dang,
Speaker 1: what's flawed is my approach to looking for love is flawed?
Speaker 1: And that's where that's why I said we have to
Speaker 1: we have to applaud Kevin Samuels and the other person
Speaker 1: that that wrote this list because they've exposed the fact
Speaker 1: that those looking for love have a flawed approach. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, I diagree with the flawed approach part.
Speaker 1: And that's in turn why I said to it, like
Speaker 1: if I walk into a room and the first thing
Speaker 1: that is going to be the thing that attracts me
Speaker 1: to somebody as looks, so people might say that that's
Speaker 1: shallow or that's flaw flawed approach is looking for that first.
Speaker 1: But I have to also be honest to what matters
Speaker 1: on my list. Yeah somebody else? Um so also um
Speaker 1: piggybacking off of the emotional tone just part that we
Speaker 1: spoke about just now. Purpose. When a person has a
Speaker 1: purpose they had, they are driven to create the life
Speaker 1: that they want without relying on another person to create
Speaker 1: it for them. Ambition. I saw that in Devoal's eyes
Speaker 1: when I had when I met you with our first
Speaker 1: date actual say we were eighteen, and the way you
Speaker 1: spoke about your conviction for the things that you wanted
Speaker 1: to achieve in life, and I was like, wow, he
Speaker 1: really has shipped figured out and it was inspiring to me.
Speaker 1: I was like, Wow, this is the money that I
Speaker 1: feel like I could really just like vibe with because
Speaker 1: he's about something you know how many times do you
Speaker 1: meet somebody and you're just having a conversation. You're like somebody,
Speaker 1: somebody calling me real quick and tell me there's an emergency.
Speaker 1: So I could did from this conversation to tell you
Speaker 1: as a man, a woman with purpose is just as
Speaker 1: high value. Because we sat down and talk about our
Speaker 1: dreams together. You were, you were fight, you became r A,
Speaker 1: then r you want r A of the year, a
Speaker 1: D A D of the year, r D r D
Speaker 1: of the year, you were going on internships, you were,
Speaker 1: you graduated magnaicum Loudy to me, it was purpose. Everything
Speaker 1: you did was purpose driven. So as a man, as
Speaker 1: much as we say or we want a woman with
Speaker 1: feminine energy, yes we do. But you don't want to
Speaker 1: roll over, a pushover. You don't want to pet you
Speaker 1: don't want someone you have to tell staying here, train.
Speaker 1: You want someone who's gonna move through life with purpose
Speaker 1: the same way. So I don't think that purpose is
Speaker 1: just for a man, or it's for both, like both
Speaker 1: people have to have because that purpose also sometimes doesn't
Speaker 1: even necessarily translate to something that's lucrative financially. It could
Speaker 1: just be somebody who's so um driven in their purpose
Speaker 1: to exist and just be full of life and be
Speaker 1: happy with whatever they're doing. It itself is attractive because
Speaker 1: that person may not be making all the money, but
Speaker 1: their energy there or what they bring to fulfill you
Speaker 1: can that's what I'm looking for. Priceless that could be
Speaker 1: what I'm looking at. Maybe what you need in that
Speaker 1: moment for sure self care that includes hygiene. Yes, like
Speaker 1: I said, fingernails, I'm looking at all of them habits
Speaker 1: that promote good physical and mental health. You can have
Speaker 1: all the money in the world, but if you don't
Speaker 1: take care of yourself, baby, how will you live long
Speaker 1: enough to spend it working out together? Taking care of
Speaker 1: self Self esteem defined as confidence that one's own worth
Speaker 1: or abilities, or confidence in that Self esteem is important
Speaker 1: for men and women right because if you have a
Speaker 1: cool and quote high value man with low self esteem,
Speaker 1: you know what he's gonna do. Project that entire self
Speaker 1: is low self esteem onto whatever woman or women he's
Speaker 1: dating in that moment and constantly make you feel less
Speaker 1: than because his self esteem isn't high enough. The same thing,
Speaker 1: if you're dating a woman that's supposed to be high
Speaker 1: value and she has a low self esteem. Her insecurities
Speaker 1: are going to drag you down as a man. And
Speaker 1: what are we not responsible for in a relationship exactly
Speaker 1: someone else's happiness. You can't. Oh, that's true. You're not
Speaker 1: responsible for someone else's insecurities. You're not. That's them problem,
Speaker 1: not problem. Individual is important and individual subjective evaluation of
Speaker 1: their own birth. Only you can do that for yourself.
Speaker 1: The belief that you're worthy of love, respect and all
Speaker 1: good things don't have to wait for you to make
Speaker 1: a certain amount of money, all right. And to round
Speaker 1: out the list that we have here, um, secure attachment,
Speaker 1: So a person who's not afraid to love and be
Speaker 1: loved um, and does not tie another person's position in
Speaker 1: their life to the self worth. A person with a
Speaker 1: secure attachment style can set boundaries for themselves and respect
Speaker 1: their partners boundaries. They're honest, uplifting and can stand up
Speaker 1: for themselves, right um. And then balance. A person who
Speaker 1: has and values balance knows when to take the lead
Speaker 1: and when to be led. We're talking about this in
Speaker 1: the former podcast too, And I mean we don't have
Speaker 1: to say all of these, but this last one I
Speaker 1: think is perfect impeccable with their word what they say
Speaker 1: they're going to do they do. I think that's important
Speaker 1: to me. I think that's the most the most importance
Speaker 1: of all of them. Being impeccable with your word, you know,
Speaker 1: saying Okay, I want to do this and I'm going
Speaker 1: to do this and doing it. Doing it means a
Speaker 1: lot of life. That to me is a huge value.
Speaker 1: And if you notice, all of these values are not
Speaker 1: surface level. These are all values that you can only
Speaker 1: find when you finally get to know someone. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean there's levels to this for sure, for sure, but
Speaker 1: that also shows you that you can't peg someone a
Speaker 1: high value or low value based on what you see
Speaker 1: on the internet. You know what I'm saying. So so realistically,
Speaker 1: it's impossible to decipher without getting to know someone if
Speaker 1: they are high value or low value person. With that
Speaker 1: being said, that means you have to take time to
Speaker 1: get to know people. It doesn't happen, Nope. You gotta
Speaker 1: grow and last one, growth growth focus. So a person
Speaker 1: who is always open to growth and expansion, because nobody
Speaker 1: wants to be stagnant in life. I would hope not.
Speaker 1: I've seen people fall apart because one person is growing
Speaker 1: continuously and the other person is complacent, all right. I
Speaker 1: think we got in a couple good points and then
Speaker 1: tidbits and stuff like that. Um, you guys can further
Speaker 1: the conversation, but our I G page. I'm sure we'll
Speaker 1: be posting about this topic for sure. We'd love to
Speaker 1: hear from you all, but we're gonna take a quick
Speaker 1: break because we still want to hear more from y'all,
Speaker 1: of course with listener letters. So we're gonna get into
Speaker 1: someem ads and we will be right back, all right
Speaker 1: back with listener letters. Let's jump in. Hey, conneta deval,
Speaker 1: I need some advice. I left a very toxic five
Speaker 1: year relationship in twenty About nine months later, I met
Speaker 1: a guy and we hit it off. We're dating for
Speaker 1: about nine months, and he recently broke up with me
Speaker 1: because he said I disturb his peace and that I'm damaged.
Speaker 1: M hm. I feel as though throughout the relationship he
Speaker 1: picked me apart about what I needed to change about myself,
Speaker 1: whereas I really brought up his issues for the sake
Speaker 1: of me being understanding of his circumstances. I kept asking
Speaker 1: him to be patient with me. I have deep rooted trauma, childhood, sexual, etcetera.
Speaker 1: Something he was very aware of and claimed that he
Speaker 1: would always be there for me to work through it.
Speaker 1: I'm in therapy and working on unlearning unhealthy communication styles
Speaker 1: and behaviors. One minute he's telling me he's so proud
Speaker 1: of me for my progress. The second I mess up,
Speaker 1: it's as if I've never showed any effort. It's very
Speaker 1: discouraging and honestly threw me off of my healing journey
Speaker 1: during our relationship. As in therapy, I've learned to have
Speaker 1: grace for myself, but in this relationship there was no
Speaker 1: room for that. I was literally full of anxiety, is
Speaker 1: scared to make mistakes. I'm stuck between feeling guilty for
Speaker 1: disturbing someone's peace and having grace for myself. I asked
Speaker 1: him if we could talk about it in person, because
Speaker 1: I believe sometimes a transparent heart to heart can fix
Speaker 1: a lot, but he refused. Please help me wrap my
Speaker 1: mind around us. I know that self love comes first,
Speaker 1: but am I wrong for wanting someone to love me
Speaker 1: through the difficult stages of my healing journey, especially if
Speaker 1: I'm making an active effort to be a better human
Speaker 1: and not sit in my trauma. Love you, guys, I
Speaker 1: would just give you a hug. I want to give
Speaker 1: you a hug. You know what's hard for me to
Speaker 1: watch people who go through therapy therapy is other people.
Speaker 1: You know. You know, someone go to one therapy session
Speaker 1: and they come out and start telling me everybody to
Speaker 1: know about Like you went to a session, now you
Speaker 1: know what everybody else is dealing with. It sounds to
Speaker 1: me like he's going to therapy and now he's trying
Speaker 1: to diagnose her with the therapy sessions he's been through.
Speaker 1: But I will also have to say this right being honest,
Speaker 1: he she says that one minute he's saying, you know,
Speaker 1: good job on the progress, he's proud of her, but
Speaker 1: then the next minute he's pointing out something wrong. Just
Speaker 1: because someone points out something wrong doesn't mean that it's
Speaker 1: completely obliterated all the progress you've made. Like Kadina and
Speaker 1: I have had this issue. I could compliment kadin ten
Speaker 1: days in a row about something if on the eleventh
Speaker 1: day I said I don't like this, then she says,
Speaker 1: I don't ever do anything right. That's it feels like that.
Speaker 1: But that's that's not fair to yourself and it's not
Speaker 1: fair to me. If I say to you ten days
Speaker 1: in a row that I like your progress, I love
Speaker 1: what you're doing, I love with you, and I say, hey, baby,
Speaker 1: messed up here. You can't then the gate the fact
Speaker 1: that for ten days I was a positive reinforcement. It's just, hey,
Speaker 1: nobody's perfect, and I'm just trying to point out to
Speaker 1: you in that moment, in real time, that you might
Speaker 1: have done something that might have hurt me or could
Speaker 1: possibly hurt yourself, and you might want to fix it
Speaker 1: before it becomes a habit. And I think for a
Speaker 1: lot of people who aren't used to that level of criticism,
Speaker 1: it can feel daunting. You know. Um I tell K
Speaker 1: all the time. I do this to myself. I wake
Speaker 1: up every morning and I think, I guess this is
Speaker 1: my form of meditation. I go over all of my
Speaker 1: interactions yesterday from the day prior, and I say, dank,
Speaker 1: how could I have done that better? Did I do
Speaker 1: something wrong? Whether it's with my kids, whether it's with her,
Speaker 1: whether it's with co workers. It's like, did I say
Speaker 1: something that could have been seen as damaging? Could have
Speaker 1: done this better? And I don't think that that's me
Speaker 1: nitpicking it myself. It's me constantly trying to be better,
Speaker 1: and um, I do also realize that I project that
Speaker 1: on people, you know, because even Jackson has so many times,
Speaker 1: you know, I feel like I can't do anything right,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I don't. I don't want you to
Speaker 1: feel as if I'm nitpicking, But if I see something
Speaker 1: that can be a detriment to you or all of us,
Speaker 1: I gotta say something in that moment, because if I
Speaker 1: don't say something and it happens again and again and again,
Speaker 1: when I finally say something, and you're gonna be like, well,
Speaker 1: why don't you say something the first time? Just hard.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's hard to deal with, particularly as at a
Speaker 1: ten year old. So sometimes, because I know as an adult,
Speaker 1: sometimes when you do do that to me, for example,
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm ready to crumble, Like damn, I
Speaker 1: feel so inadequate in this moment. But you're saying, hey,
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to be proactive, not preactive. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I get how he can see that, and it can
Speaker 1: be a lot for like a ten year old, But
Speaker 1: in her circumstance here, I feel badly because she's like
Speaker 1: she wants somebody who to just love on her while
Speaker 1: she's going through the things that she's going through. But
Speaker 1: some people also too, probably just don't want to sign
Speaker 1: up for that, or they think that that's what they
Speaker 1: can sign up for and they can manage it. I mean,
Speaker 1: I feel like it's better for him to have walked away,
Speaker 1: absolutely than to have stuck around and said he it's
Speaker 1: just yeah, it's and it's probably hard. He did himself
Speaker 1: a favor, and he did her a favorite. He would
Speaker 1: have been wrong for and and not for nothing. It
Speaker 1: seemed as if he does have her best interest at
Speaker 1: heart because he did choose to walk away, because he
Speaker 1: could have stayed there and dragged this out, knowing that
Speaker 1: it's never gonna work, and not giving her an opportunity
Speaker 1: to meet someone who can value her enough to work
Speaker 1: with her through these hard times. You know, one thing
Speaker 1: I've learned in life is that when someone shows you
Speaker 1: who they are, believe them the first time. Right he
Speaker 1: says he wants to walk away, my there are billions
Speaker 1: of people in the world. There is someone there who
Speaker 1: was willing and able to love you the way you
Speaker 1: want to be loved. You don't have to beg or
Speaker 1: ask for that person. Right. It might have seemed nice
Speaker 1: in the moment, especially coming out of a five year
Speaker 1: toxic relationship, and you figure two in that was like
Speaker 1: probably round about pandemic time. To everybody was dealing with
Speaker 1: a lot of things. Yeah, dealing with a lot of issues.
Speaker 1: And you know, as my wise wise grandmother once said,
Speaker 1: every him stick a bush. I'm not sure if I
Speaker 1: can translate. I actually I can't translate. Every every and
Speaker 1: I'm talking about the gardening tool has its stick in
Speaker 1: the bush, meaning you will find your person. I'm shaking
Speaker 1: right now. You will find your person. You can't find
Speaker 1: a better Grandma Brian said, every i'ving stick, and you
Speaker 1: will find your stick in the bush right now. What
Speaker 1: you're telling people all holes gonna be stuck in bushes
Speaker 1: at some point for somebody's gonna be the whole holder
Speaker 1: and somebody gonna be the stick. So okay, that's a
Speaker 1: that's a great analogy, Ellis. But there's somebody for everybody.
Speaker 1: Get it. It's my very body. It's a fish full
Speaker 1: of full of fee full of fish. Don't touch my
Speaker 1: fucking fish. It's my fish. Thank you, Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: my wife crazy. I have no idea. And number two,
Speaker 1: number two, first off, shout out to you both for
Speaker 1: making big things happen as a couple and always striving
Speaker 1: for more hashtag couple goals. We received that, although we
Speaker 1: hate the term couple goals, we received that. My boyfriend
Speaker 1: and I have been dated for two point five years.
Speaker 1: He's thirty six and I'm thirty. I'm a very outgoing,
Speaker 1: energetic pro sin and most times on the goal he's
Speaker 1: the total opposite. He's such a home body and frequently
Speaker 1: just wants to chill. The difference has been conflicting over
Speaker 1: these couple of years, but I've taken it upon myself
Speaker 1: to appreciate how his different style has positively contributed to
Speaker 1: the relationship. We started dating in almost three years. We
Speaker 1: started dating in almost three months in COVID happened, so
Speaker 1: more than half of our relationship happened during quarantine. That's
Speaker 1: tough for anybody. We are just now starting a normal
Speaker 1: quote unquote life and experiencing real life situations as a couple.
Speaker 1: He just returned to the workforce after being unemployed during COVID. Congratulations,
Speaker 1: But he's so unhappy at his job every day. It's
Speaker 1: a different complaint, and in my attempt to be a
Speaker 1: supportive girlfriend, I just listened. But it's also taking a
Speaker 1: toll on me. I would describe him as a dreamer.
Speaker 1: He has big dreams of owning multiple businesses, but I
Speaker 1: really see the tenacities what you just talked about, Okay
Speaker 1: that I think it takes to accomplish this. I hate
Speaker 1: to sound just mental, but at thirty six, I can't
Speaker 1: understand what went wrong. We don't live together, nor have chill.
Speaker 1: I stay Accounty apart about an hour and a half drive, Jesus,
Speaker 1: although I do enjoy my independence. We have talked about
Speaker 1: moving in and the future together, but are currently working
Speaker 1: on aligning our finances to get to that point, and
Speaker 1: living apart has brought its own issues. We are both
Speaker 1: terrible communicators in our own way. He'll go m I
Speaker 1: A on me for hours and simply brush it off
Speaker 1: with I had my phone on dn D because of work,
Speaker 1: or I fell asleep, et cetera. I'm terrible like expressing
Speaker 1: my emotions so many times, um, I've had to just
Speaker 1: go with it, but exist with that ikey feeling in
Speaker 1: my stomach. We all hate that. I've grown to love him,
Speaker 1: but constantly have doubts this will work out forever. I've
Speaker 1: been in a toxic relationship before, so It definitely left
Speaker 1: me with some damage, but I'm hopeful this time around
Speaker 1: it's different. Should I stick around to find out the plot?
Speaker 1: Think is? I had to scroll back up because I
Speaker 1: was like, how long? So where we are getting? So
Speaker 1: two and a half years? Okay? That was my question.
Speaker 1: Can't nobody tell you if you should stick? Like you know,
Speaker 1: I'm kind of different with this one. I think both
Speaker 1: of you have to put the work and necessary to
Speaker 1: make it work. And if you know you're terrible communicators,
Speaker 1: you'll both know that. Then that's something that you may
Speaker 1: have to If you think it's worth it, you gotta
Speaker 1: work on it. Maybe if two and a half years in,
Speaker 1: if you see that there's really potential here and y'all
Speaker 1: love each other like that, maybe seek therapy to see
Speaker 1: how you can better communicate with each other because your
Speaker 1: styles may be different. I don't know, but does he
Speaker 1: look like you're forever? Man? Is that how you feel?
Speaker 1: Their relationship sounds like every relationship they've been together two
Speaker 1: and a half years. They don't communicate properly, They have
Speaker 1: different lifestyles. One is more ambitious than the other. Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: do you love this person? Yes? Or no? If you
Speaker 1: do love this person. You have to be of service.
Speaker 1: We talked about this all the time, be of service
Speaker 1: to helping them become a better person. And are you
Speaker 1: willing to work? And that's it, like it's all. It's
Speaker 1: it's nice to say, like, oh, love is easy, and
Speaker 1: relationships shouldn't require work, and they should be easy seeing seamless,
Speaker 1: know the fun. They ain't. They require work. And if
Speaker 1: you feel like putting in the work to make this work,
Speaker 1: then make it work. If you don't, you don't, that's
Speaker 1: the key. You just gotta want to do it, want
Speaker 1: to make the choice every day. Yes, And and that's
Speaker 1: that's ultimately what people don't want to hear. Should I
Speaker 1: should I should not? Listen listen. We can't tell you
Speaker 1: what you should do. What we can say is in
Speaker 1: our relationship, I want to be married. I want to
Speaker 1: be with this woman. I want to be monogamous, so
Speaker 1: I take the necessary steps to create a safe space
Speaker 1: for both of us for for that, Like there's there's
Speaker 1: no magic potion, there was, there was no prayer, there
Speaker 1: was no I just want that because to be honest,
Speaker 1: this let me to let me break it down real
Speaker 1: quick for you, the way you explained your boyfriend and
Speaker 1: your in yourself in the beginning is very similar to
Speaker 1: me and devou. He's thirty six, I'm thirty. Clearly I'm
Speaker 1: thirty and he's he's outgoing and energetic. I am the opposite.
Speaker 1: I actually like to be inside. I'm actually a little
Speaker 1: bit more of an introvert introvert um. These are all things.
Speaker 1: Our communication styles are very different, extremely different. So we
Speaker 1: are really no different thing, y'all, except we want to
Speaker 1: be here because if we didn't want to be here,
Speaker 1: we probably would have definitely would have been broken up
Speaker 1: a long time ago, and we both want to be here.
Speaker 1: If I wanted to be here and she didn't, I
Speaker 1: would have been chasing. It would have become it would
Speaker 1: become exhausting. If she wanted to be here and I didn't.
Speaker 1: That's really what it is. You have to find someone
Speaker 1: who has just as invested in the relationship working is you. Period.
Speaker 1: There's no timetable that can tell you want to figure
Speaker 1: out to stop, There's no list that can tell you
Speaker 1: if this person is the right one. It's just the
Speaker 1: want to, like do you want to do this? And
Speaker 1: if you notice that that person wants to do it,
Speaker 1: then let's do it. It's it's really that simple, like
Speaker 1: nobody else can tell you. You know, that's it. You
Speaker 1: know that's it, and that's it. That's all we got
Speaker 1: for y'all today. If you'd like to be featured on
Speaker 1: the list the letter, email us at dead Advice at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Triple Let's sayer from y'all. That's that's
Speaker 1: D E A D A S S A D V
Speaker 1: I C E at gmail dot com. Moment of Truth
Speaker 1: time how high value? We're talking high value men and women?
Speaker 1: The list of things. Um, I really just feel like
Speaker 1: the definition or the term high value is relative to
Speaker 1: what you're in the market her. If you want certain things,
Speaker 1: these are the things that you're going to be looking for.
Speaker 1: Just be honest about what those things are. I think
Speaker 1: that saves people a lot of the headache and the
Speaker 1: work and the the time that we're taking investing into
Speaker 1: these interactions that can potentially go nowhere. If you want
Speaker 1: to be in it for a good time, not a
Speaker 1: long time, let us know, or let them know us.
Speaker 1: Don't tell me, let them know. If you're looking and
Speaker 1: you're dating with the intention to eventually find a life partner,
Speaker 1: let that be clear and then put yourself accordingly in
Speaker 1: those circles the networks. So I have a a couple
Speaker 1: of moments of truth. The first one goes back to
Speaker 1: the very beginning. The value of a person is determined
Speaker 1: by the person willing to pay the costs. That's number one, right.
Speaker 1: Number two, you can't be upset at Kevin Samuel's or
Speaker 1: anyone else who is showing you what people are saying
Speaker 1: they want. In the opposite sex, right, don't don't kill
Speaker 1: a messenger. You may you may not like the way
Speaker 1: he delivers his message, but he's getting his information from
Speaker 1: the Internet, and that leads me to number three. People
Speaker 1: are clearly seeking it to people. People are seeking it.
Speaker 1: But it leads me to number three. The Internet is
Speaker 1: not a real a place. Right. Just because the Internet
Speaker 1: says this is what value is or high value doesn't
Speaker 1: mean that that's true. Because the vast majority of people
Speaker 1: discussing stuff on the Internet often live in extremes. Right.
Speaker 1: The Internet has showed us that the extremists are always
Speaker 1: the loudest, and the people who exist in the middle,
Speaker 1: which are the majority, very rarely have a voice. So
Speaker 1: don't get stuck on the on the Internet trying to
Speaker 1: figure out that. And the last thing I want to
Speaker 1: say in all of this is, if you're really seeking
Speaker 1: what high value is, because you're looking for someone to
Speaker 1: spend the rest of your life with, the best people
Speaker 1: to ask are people who have successfully done what you're achieving.
Speaker 1: So if you're if you're interested in what a high
Speaker 1: value man looks like as a woman, how about you
Speaker 1: ask a high value woman who's been married to a
Speaker 1: high value man for a long period of time, as
Speaker 1: opposed to going to the internet to have single people
Speaker 1: who haven't found what they're looking for tell you what
Speaker 1: their version of high value is. Find a couple that
Speaker 1: you feel have put values in the right place right
Speaker 1: because we've already proven today that value is not only
Speaker 1: there are dedicated to finances. There's a lot of other
Speaker 1: things that are dedicated to value. So find a couple.
Speaker 1: If you're seeking to be in a monogamous relationship. Another
Speaker 1: thing is everybody's not seeking to be in a monogamous relationship,
Speaker 1: and that's okay. But if you are, find that couple
Speaker 1: and ask that couple what would the things you valued
Speaker 1: in your partner, and then say to yourself, are those
Speaker 1: are things that I'm willing to be number one if
Speaker 1: I want to be of high value and am I
Speaker 1: seeking the same thing? And that's really how you can
Speaker 1: find what possessing. Find that couple. Just don't call us
Speaker 1: because we're tired of talking to you. I'm not actually
Speaker 1: I'm not. I like talking about butterfly outgoing introversial. Only
Speaker 1: want to talk to nobody, she'd be saying, anybody sending
Speaker 1: the kids away. I don't want to talk and you
Speaker 1: occasionally everybody else. You'll be talking to my babies. N
Speaker 1: D said, you'd be talking to my babies all the time.
Speaker 1: No pause forget. We'll be sure to find us on
Speaker 1: social media at dead as to podcast I Am Devout
Speaker 1: and Cadena I Am. And if you're listening on Apple podcasts,
Speaker 1: be sure to rate, please review, please and subscribe. Tell
Speaker 1: a friend all that Dead dead Ass is a production
Speaker 1: of I Heart Media podcast Network and is produced by
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