1 00:00:01,200 --> 00:00:04,000 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter and listen. If you 2 00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:07,800 Speaker 1: need advice on relationship, sex, dating, work, parenting, and more. 3 00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:12,039 Speaker 1: Please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey FM and 4 00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:15,320 Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter 5 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:17,760 Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're gonna read this 6 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:20,960 Speaker 1: one right now. Bug it up, Hold on tight, we 7 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:23,360 Speaker 1: got it for you. Here it is the Strawberry Letter. 8 00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:26,920 Speaker 1: Thank you, nephew. Subjects Do I choose my man or 9 00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:30,880 Speaker 1: my friends? Here's Stephen Shirley. I am a young, healthy, 10 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:34,400 Speaker 1: and wise beyond my years, single woman that is a 11 00:00:34,479 --> 00:00:37,479 Speaker 1: leader to my peers. At my young age, I have 12 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:42,519 Speaker 1: found the most handsome and amazing man of my dreams. 13 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:46,520 Speaker 1: He is respectful, has a great job, a beautiful home, 14 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:50,760 Speaker 1: and he treats me like a queen. But here is 15 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:53,920 Speaker 1: the problem. Well, it's not a problem for us. It's 16 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:57,040 Speaker 1: more a problem for our friends and family. I am 17 00:00:57,040 --> 00:01:02,840 Speaker 1: twenty two years old and he is two years old. Now, 18 00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:05,880 Speaker 1: I know you are also shocked by our age difference, 19 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:09,800 Speaker 1: but I love him and believe age has nothing to 20 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:12,600 Speaker 1: do with it. When I introduced him to my friends, 21 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:16,280 Speaker 1: they all judged him immediately because of his age. You 22 00:01:16,319 --> 00:01:19,680 Speaker 1: can tell that he is a bit older. They said 23 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:22,399 Speaker 1: that he's using me and it won't last because he 24 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:25,560 Speaker 1: is just going through a phase. They didn't even want 25 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:28,960 Speaker 1: to get to know him and experience his great personality. 26 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:32,320 Speaker 1: My family is not happy with me dating him either. 27 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:35,679 Speaker 1: We've been together for a year and he says we're 28 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:39,600 Speaker 1: soulmates and he wants to marry me. I know if 29 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:42,960 Speaker 1: I marry him, I would be choosing him over my friends. 30 00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:46,679 Speaker 1: I know my family will love me regardless, But now 31 00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:49,960 Speaker 1: I am having doubts about marrying him because I want 32 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:53,360 Speaker 1: it all my friends and my husband. What do you 33 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:58,279 Speaker 1: think is age that important? I need your advice? Well, 34 00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:00,400 Speaker 1: you know, I gotta tell you this first off, it's 35 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:03,440 Speaker 1: your life. You can't get married and you can't live 36 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,520 Speaker 1: for and have a relationship for your friends. This is 37 00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:09,919 Speaker 1: your life and your relationship. I mean, if they're really 38 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:13,040 Speaker 1: your friends, that they're truly your friends, even though they 39 00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:16,560 Speaker 1: may not agree with who you're with. But if they're 40 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:18,880 Speaker 1: your friends, they're going to support you and be there 41 00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:22,359 Speaker 1: for you if anything goes wrong or whatever you need, 42 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:24,600 Speaker 1: they'll be there for you if they're your friends. But 43 00:02:24,919 --> 00:02:28,360 Speaker 1: I definitely don't want to ignore this enormous elephant in 44 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:31,320 Speaker 1: this letter, and that's that you were twenty two and 45 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:33,920 Speaker 1: he is forty two. I mean, this is a huge 46 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:38,120 Speaker 1: age difference. I mean, you know, I'm not saying a 47 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,600 Speaker 1: marriage can't work. I'm sure there are some out there 48 00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:44,679 Speaker 1: that have with a twenty year age span. But it's 49 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:48,400 Speaker 1: definitely a chance you're taking. It's a chance it could work. 50 00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:50,880 Speaker 1: Who knows, But you have to have things in common. 51 00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:53,840 Speaker 1: You say, you guys have been together for a year. 52 00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:58,120 Speaker 1: You say, he says your soulmates, and he wants to 53 00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:01,120 Speaker 1: marry you. But now you're having doubts because you want 54 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:05,360 Speaker 1: your friends and you want him. I mean, this is 55 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:08,079 Speaker 1: why your your friends are and your family are a 56 00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:11,280 Speaker 1: little upset, and they're so judgmental because of the big 57 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:14,360 Speaker 1: age difference. You know, they probably see things that you 58 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:18,800 Speaker 1: don't see. They say he's using you, Is he using you? 59 00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:22,560 Speaker 1: Or are you two in love? To see that? You know, 60 00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:26,280 Speaker 1: I just say, don't be so much worried about whether 61 00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:30,119 Speaker 1: your friends are gonna still be around or not, you know, 62 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:33,240 Speaker 1: and having to choose between them and your man. You're 63 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:35,640 Speaker 1: gonna choose your man in this instance. I mean, you 64 00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:38,040 Speaker 1: really are going to choose your man because you love him, 65 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:40,960 Speaker 1: and he's older, and he'll probably be able to persuade 66 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:45,520 Speaker 1: you to choose him. So you know, keep your friends, 67 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:47,640 Speaker 1: don't get rid of your friends. You got to keep 68 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:50,280 Speaker 1: your friends because you're going to need them in case 69 00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:53,280 Speaker 1: anything goes wrong in this relationship. I'm not saying it is, 70 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:56,840 Speaker 1: but it could, Steve because of the age difference. Well, 71 00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:03,040 Speaker 1: he used my view on this. You say you found 72 00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:06,840 Speaker 1: the most handsome and amazing man of my dreams. You 73 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,560 Speaker 1: say he's respectful, has a great job, he has a 74 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:13,800 Speaker 1: beautiful home, and you say he treats you like a queen. 75 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:19,240 Speaker 1: Now right there describing that you found the guy that 76 00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:23,919 Speaker 1: most women are looking for. But then you said not 77 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:29,000 Speaker 1: nobody else. You said, here's the problem, But then you 78 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:32,960 Speaker 1: try to preface it by saying, well, it's not a 79 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:37,279 Speaker 1: problem for us. It's more of a problem for our 80 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:41,520 Speaker 1: friends and family women in it. So I didn't hear 81 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:44,960 Speaker 1: nothing about problems with your friends. I just heard in 82 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:48,919 Speaker 1: the latter problem with your friends. Are you saying his 83 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:54,320 Speaker 1: friends have problems with it too, it's more of your 84 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:57,040 Speaker 1: friend situation or is it you all friends? Because you 85 00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:59,880 Speaker 1: said it's more of a problem for our friends and family. 86 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:02,920 Speaker 1: Now you're twenty two, he forty two. That's a twenty 87 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:08,240 Speaker 1: year gap. Now then you say, now, I see this 88 00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:12,080 Speaker 1: is a lot of you assuming, because then you say, 89 00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:16,560 Speaker 1: I know you are also shocked by our age difference. 90 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:21,160 Speaker 1: We didn't say that. Sherley didn't say she was shocked 91 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:25,240 Speaker 1: by We're just reading the letter. But you keep prefacing 92 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:30,279 Speaker 1: everything with it's a problem. Well, it's really not a 93 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:34,440 Speaker 1: problem for us. Then you say you're shocked by age difference. See, 94 00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:38,039 Speaker 1: this is a problem for you, young lady. But I 95 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:40,680 Speaker 1: love him and I believe age has nothing to do 96 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:44,960 Speaker 1: with it. But then when you introduced him to your friends, 97 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:50,480 Speaker 1: they judge him immediately because of his age. Then you 98 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:54,240 Speaker 1: said you can tell that he's a bit older. Well, 99 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:57,720 Speaker 1: now what does that mean? What did he do in 100 00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:01,359 Speaker 1: front of your kid as friends that just made his 101 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:05,720 Speaker 1: ass look old? Was his hass pulled up right up 102 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:10,120 Speaker 1: on his chair? Come on, I'm just saying because you 103 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:16,400 Speaker 1: said you can tell he's a bit old? Yeah? Does 104 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:22,600 Speaker 1: he have a cigarette behind his ear when he talking school? 105 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:25,159 Speaker 1: Does he have a pack of cools roll up in 106 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:30,600 Speaker 1: the sleeve of his white T shirt? Does he have 107 00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:34,640 Speaker 1: on sandals? With black socks. Hold that thought, Steve, hold 108 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:38,400 Speaker 1: that thought. Uh, we'll have part two of your response 109 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:41,440 Speaker 1: coming up. Do we have a stern wheel wrap on 110 00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:44,440 Speaker 1: his stern wheel on his car? Coming up in twenty 111 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:47,960 Speaker 1: three after the hour, Today's Strawberry letter? Do I choose 112 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,880 Speaker 1: my man or my friends? More of Steve's coming up 113 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:56,400 Speaker 1: right after this. You're listening show? All right, Steve, here 114 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:59,839 Speaker 1: we go. Let's recap today's strawberry letter subject? Do I 115 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:06,120 Speaker 1: she's my man or my friends? Let's recap. Well, this 116 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:09,640 Speaker 1: is twenty age, twenty year age different, twenty twenty two 117 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,440 Speaker 1: year old girl, and it's forty two year old man, 118 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:17,760 Speaker 1: and he's everything she's ever wanted. But here's the problem, 119 00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:21,480 Speaker 1: she said, But here's the problem. Then she she said, well, 120 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:26,200 Speaker 1: it's not a problem for us. Then she said, it's 121 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:28,960 Speaker 1: more of a problem for our friends and family. Now, 122 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:31,560 Speaker 1: in the latter she never mentioned anything about his friends 123 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:35,200 Speaker 1: and family, just her friends and family. So then she 124 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:38,400 Speaker 1: said she knowed me and Shirley shocked by your age difference. 125 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:41,080 Speaker 1: But I love him. I believe ain't nothing they've gotten 126 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:43,679 Speaker 1: doing it. When I introduced to my friend, they judged 127 00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:47,960 Speaker 1: him immediately because of his age. You can tell he 128 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:55,480 Speaker 1: is a bit old. Come on, what when he walked 129 00:07:55,680 --> 00:08:02,520 Speaker 1: up to your friends can go I'm just I'm just 130 00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:05,480 Speaker 1: trying to you know, when you when you say you 131 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:12,280 Speaker 1: can tell he's a bit older when y'all pulled up 132 00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:19,400 Speaker 1: in the car, was the tent on his window bubbling? Really, 133 00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:25,120 Speaker 1: I'm just telling these old school problems. Now, we just 134 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,640 Speaker 1: talked about the car right now, was it pillars in 135 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:32,960 Speaker 1: the back of the window of the car pillar I'm 136 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:39,200 Speaker 1: just asking in twenty nineteen, I'm just asking just what 137 00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:47,840 Speaker 1: was it about him that screamed old? Let me ask 138 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:52,120 Speaker 1: you this right here? Did he have on Jordan Jeans 139 00:08:54,440 --> 00:09:04,600 Speaker 1: Jus Jordans? I thought Jordan had made him Michael j Yeah, 140 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:06,920 Speaker 1: I thought he would went French and was calling him 141 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:13,760 Speaker 1: George dad. So I don't know what it is. Then 142 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:17,640 Speaker 1: your friends told you that he's using me and it 143 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:21,720 Speaker 1: won't last because he's going through a fraid phase. Well, 144 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:24,600 Speaker 1: let's talk about this phase that he could be going 145 00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:28,560 Speaker 1: through and why I won't last. Here's the problem I 146 00:09:28,679 --> 00:09:32,199 Speaker 1: see that you're gonna have. And then let me throw 147 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:34,040 Speaker 1: this in. They don't even want to get to know 148 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:38,600 Speaker 1: him and experience his great personnelity, and you say your 149 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:41,760 Speaker 1: family ain't happy with me dating him either. Now y'all 150 00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:44,200 Speaker 1: been together for a year, and he says with soul 151 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:46,840 Speaker 1: mates and he wants to marry me. I know if 152 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:49,720 Speaker 1: I marry him, I could be choosing him over my friends. 153 00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:53,280 Speaker 1: And I know my family will love me regardless. But 154 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:57,080 Speaker 1: now let me just say this, let me finish this letter. 155 00:09:57,760 --> 00:09:59,560 Speaker 1: I know my family will love me gods, but now 156 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:02,280 Speaker 1: I'm ha and doubts about marrying him because I want 157 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:04,880 Speaker 1: it all my friends and my husband. What do you 158 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:08,800 Speaker 1: think is age that important? I need your advice? Well, 159 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:12,280 Speaker 1: let me just say this to you. Let's say, y'all, dude, 160 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:15,640 Speaker 1: get married and you are happy. In ten years, he 161 00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:18,800 Speaker 1: gonna be fifty two and you're gonna be thirty two. 162 00:10:19,559 --> 00:10:24,640 Speaker 1: You're gonna be still scaling up. He's scaling down because 163 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:29,079 Speaker 1: he's crossed the sentry mark. So as you get better 164 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:33,480 Speaker 1: as a woman, though you're thirty two, you're not even 165 00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:37,800 Speaker 1: as fine as you're going to be. You got some 166 00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:43,240 Speaker 1: more years where you're gonna get real fine. All his 167 00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:49,160 Speaker 1: fine days about damn Neil Behald? What what all his 168 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:53,679 Speaker 1: fine days is about? Damn Neil Behald? Now you think 169 00:10:54,200 --> 00:11:02,560 Speaker 1: he looks a bit older, Now you as wait until 170 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:07,400 Speaker 1: his ass when you see already and he don't have 171 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:13,920 Speaker 1: no music downloading, that's already. He still got that little 172 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:17,959 Speaker 1: vinyl case in the back that you snap and it CDs. 173 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:24,240 Speaker 1: So let's just start there. Man, Now here's your problem. 174 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:29,400 Speaker 1: You're gonna reach your point in this relationship where the 175 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:32,920 Speaker 1: difference is going to be very noticeable, and it's gonna 176 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:35,559 Speaker 1: be things you're gonna want in life and things he's 177 00:11:35,559 --> 00:11:40,160 Speaker 1: gonna want in life. At thirty two, you'll be wanting 178 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:43,960 Speaker 1: to take exciting vacations. At fifty two, he can't too. 179 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:48,280 Speaker 1: I know I'm when I like great vacation, but that's all. 180 00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:50,640 Speaker 1: But when I get on my great vacation, what I 181 00:11:50,679 --> 00:11:53,199 Speaker 1: want to do. I want to set my great vacation 182 00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:59,040 Speaker 1: having ass down nothing. Now I don't do events, go 183 00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:04,920 Speaker 1: out and explain over the country, climbing cliffs. And if 184 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:09,560 Speaker 1: you have a child, it's a twenty year gall You know, 185 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:12,959 Speaker 1: twenty ain't all that bad. But you know when he ten, 186 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:17,760 Speaker 1: granddaddy gonna be coming up to the school. That's what 187 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:22,280 Speaker 1: the other kids is gonna thank you. But it's his 188 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:29,200 Speaker 1: damn dad. Now, your friends It's sad that you have 189 00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:33,520 Speaker 1: to choose because how your friends making you choose like this. 190 00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:37,160 Speaker 1: I got some news for you that make your real friends, 191 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:41,520 Speaker 1: because your friends will not make you choose between them 192 00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:47,560 Speaker 1: or him. Those are not friends. It's just not so. 193 00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:52,040 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but it's gonna be some problems with this age, gal. 194 00:12:52,679 --> 00:12:56,360 Speaker 1: And if you don't think it is, they're coming. Y'all 195 00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:59,120 Speaker 1: might be so mates, but you know, for how long? 196 00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:04,200 Speaker 1: All right? Listen email us on Instagram, us your thoughts 197 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:07,400 Speaker 1: on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM, and check 198 00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:10,840 Speaker 1: out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. All right, we'll 199 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:13,360 Speaker 1: have more of the Steve Harvey Morning Show coming up 200 00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:17,800 Speaker 1: right after this. You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.