1
00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,280
Speaker 1: All right, Matthew, let's move on to the letter we go?

2
00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:09,039
Speaker 1: Bugle up? How is here we go? Subject? Frustrated wife

3
00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:13,640
Speaker 1: headed to the psychologist. Hey Steve, simple but complicated, married

4
00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:16,400
Speaker 1: three years, husband twenty six. I'm thirty one. We both

5
00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:19,280
Speaker 1: work and see each other in passing. He hangs out

6
00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:22,000
Speaker 1: with friends at times. I'm pretty much a loner. He

7
00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:25,360
Speaker 1: has high school girl friends that he talks to periodically

8
00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:28,880
Speaker 1: through email. Now old friend is having a birthday party,

9
00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:31,320
Speaker 1: but he doesn't want me to go, said his friends

10
00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:33,920
Speaker 1: are his friends and that he would feel awkward just

11
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,879
Speaker 1: inviting me since it's probably going to be only his

12
00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:39,360
Speaker 1: friends from high school there, as if they don't have

13
00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:42,880
Speaker 1: any significant other to join them at the party. Says

14
00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:44,920
Speaker 1: I can come along to the next party after he

15
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:47,800
Speaker 1: is comfortable with being around his friends. Again, Mind you,

16
00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:50,599
Speaker 1: these are high school friends, so he hasn't seen them

17
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,920
Speaker 1: and lord knows how many years, and he wants to

18
00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:55,480
Speaker 1: claim only high school people who all went to the

19
00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:58,200
Speaker 1: same school will be there. How does that sound to you?

20
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:01,400
Speaker 1: Another incident he started his job, they had a little

21
00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:05,360
Speaker 1: afterwork graduation event, whereas he said, they played cards, but

22
00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:08,040
Speaker 1: playing cards all night till five am. And not calling

23
00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:12,120
Speaker 1: home or not even say honey, meet me at work

24
00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:14,480
Speaker 1: so you can go with me. See what kind of

25
00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:16,800
Speaker 1: messes that I feel like he doesn't want me to

26
00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:19,320
Speaker 1: be around when he hangs out with his friends. Mind you,

27
00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:21,399
Speaker 1: I might not be in the mood to go, but

28
00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:23,800
Speaker 1: he doesn't even give me the opportunity to say no,

29
00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:27,160
Speaker 1: you go ahead without me. This makes me feel insecure,

30
00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:30,040
Speaker 1: especially considering we don't spend much time together at all.

31
00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:32,520
Speaker 1: When he comes home at night, I'm usually waiting up

32
00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:35,319
Speaker 1: for him so we can have a general conversation, but

33
00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:37,639
Speaker 1: he wants to play video games till five in the morning,

34
00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:40,120
Speaker 1: so he doesn't even come to bed at night. Then

35
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:43,080
Speaker 1: we have some uh, then we have sometimes that he

36
00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:46,760
Speaker 1: will come in the room so I don't complain and

37
00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:48,920
Speaker 1: stay there till I fall asleep or until he thinks

38
00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:51,520
Speaker 1: I've fallen asleep, and then off to that video game.

39
00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:54,320
Speaker 1: But you let someone else want his time. It's given

40
00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:57,520
Speaker 1: I feel so alone and so I needed it hurts.

41
00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:00,760
Speaker 1: I'm hurting. I feel like committing myself to some hospital

42
00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:03,280
Speaker 1: because I need some of his time that he isn't giving.

43
00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:07,400
Speaker 1: I've debated with myself, asking am I too needy? Or

44
00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:11,519
Speaker 1: imagining things. Um, but I just can't put my finger

45
00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:14,640
Speaker 1: on it. Uh. He used to be so much more

46
00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:18,760
Speaker 1: attentive and caring about uh caring, but now he complains

47
00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:22,520
Speaker 1: and tells his female friends how tired he is of

48
00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:25,520
Speaker 1: my arguing we have no communication. If we do not talk,

49
00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:27,760
Speaker 1: it turns into an argument. If we do talk, it

50
00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:30,880
Speaker 1: turns into an argument. Another thing is I can't depend

51
00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:32,920
Speaker 1: on him to help with things around the house. He

52
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:36,200
Speaker 1: always forgets or wants time for himself, so I'm basically

53
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:41,000
Speaker 1: doing everything myself. Um, you know that saying I can

54
00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:43,600
Speaker 1: do bad by myself. I even question what I need

55
00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:45,920
Speaker 1: him around for. Since he doesn't help around the house

56
00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:48,240
Speaker 1: and doesn't spend time with me, why are we together?

57
00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:51,080
Speaker 1: I asked him that one day. He said marriages about

58
00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:53,920
Speaker 1: stature and not about emotions and feeling. So that makes

59
00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:57,040
Speaker 1: me think, oh, you want to be with me because

60
00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:59,120
Speaker 1: I got some money and take care of my business.

61
00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:01,440
Speaker 1: I guess, and is right? What's love got to do

62
00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:04,000
Speaker 1: with it? I know he's not cheating. Can't tell you

63
00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:06,520
Speaker 1: how I know, but we women have our ways. But

64
00:03:06,639 --> 00:03:09,560
Speaker 1: I know I'm hoping he grows out of this soon

65
00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:13,080
Speaker 1: or I'll need medication just to calm my nerves. Uh.

66
00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:16,080
Speaker 1: He has a great personality, great with our boys, great financially,

67
00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:18,200
Speaker 1: but likes the drive to take care of home and

68
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:21,440
Speaker 1: business first. You know what, this letter is really long.

69
00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:23,400
Speaker 1: We got to take a break and come back. Yeah,

70
00:03:23,639 --> 00:03:27,560
Speaker 1: we gotta take a break. Yeah enough, I think so

71
00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:32,520
Speaker 1: we'll be back. You're listening to show? All right, Come on,

72
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:35,680
Speaker 1: Steve with your response to part two of today's Strawberry Letter.

73
00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:39,720
Speaker 1: Let's go. That's this is I think this is a record.

74
00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:42,480
Speaker 1: I think this is the longest letter we've ever had.

75
00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:48,800
Speaker 1: And yeah, she's she's just she's giving us everything. Uh,

76
00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:51,160
Speaker 1: where did I stop? I guess Tina's right. What's love

77
00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:52,960
Speaker 1: got to do with it? I know he's not cheating.

78
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,400
Speaker 1: Can't tell you how I know, but we women have

79
00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:57,680
Speaker 1: our ways. But I know I'm hoping he grows out

80
00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:00,000
Speaker 1: of this soon or I'll need medication just to calm

81
00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:02,520
Speaker 1: my nerves. Is a great personality, great with our boys,

82
00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:05,440
Speaker 1: great financially, but lacks the drive to take care of

83
00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:08,360
Speaker 1: home and business first. I think he is tired and

84
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:11,680
Speaker 1: or bored with me. No matter how high my stilettos are,

85
00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:15,560
Speaker 1: I am financially stronger a little insecure from previous marriage,

86
00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:18,159
Speaker 1: and how he's acting doesn't help me feel needed or

87
00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:21,039
Speaker 1: loved as I should. He used to be there. Now

88
00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:22,960
Speaker 1: I feel he just wants to do what he wants

89
00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:25,800
Speaker 1: when he wants. I am a roommate, I'm I'm not

90
00:04:25,839 --> 00:04:28,840
Speaker 1: a roommate. I'm a wife. I've told him that also.

91
00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:31,239
Speaker 1: I told him if he wanted to live a single

92
00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:34,000
Speaker 1: life and not have any responsibility, then that's what he

93
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:36,280
Speaker 1: should do. But he won't leave. He says he's not

94
00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:38,680
Speaker 1: going anywhere. In the meantime, I'm supposed to do just

95
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,200
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to just accept that. Steve, Steve a brother,

96
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,599
Speaker 1: don't know that when you start not being at home,

97
00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:48,480
Speaker 1: assistant gets lonely and then all hell really breaks loose.

98
00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:51,919
Speaker 1: I maybe thirty one, but I look twenty two, and

99
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,160
Speaker 1: an opportunity to go out on a date is given

100
00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:56,839
Speaker 1: every time I walk out my front door, willing to

101
00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:00,000
Speaker 1: hang in there and go to Long Haul. But I'm

102
00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:06,680
Speaker 1: lonely and I missed my husband, my friend. I'm just

103
00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:11,479
Speaker 1: going you want me to do it that? You can comment, lady,

104
00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:14,880
Speaker 1: this letter. It has a lot of obvious is in it.

105
00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:18,240
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's a word. But it's just

106
00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:21,239
Speaker 1: a lot of obvious statements that you're making in this letter,

107
00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:25,640
Speaker 1: but you're not hearing your obvious statements. I don't have

108
00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:28,600
Speaker 1: time to read this letter again, but let's just say

109
00:05:29,279 --> 00:05:33,000
Speaker 1: he has old high school girlfriends right now, one of

110
00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:36,400
Speaker 1: the old friends. Now, one of his old friends are

111
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:38,800
Speaker 1: having a birthday party, but he don't want you to go,

112
00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:41,680
Speaker 1: and his friends are his friends, and that he would

113
00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:44,320
Speaker 1: He said that his friends are his friends, and he

114
00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:49,559
Speaker 1: would then feel awkward inviting you. You are his wife.

115
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:53,359
Speaker 1: Now keep in mind since it's probably gonna be only

116
00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:57,520
Speaker 1: his friends from high school and they don't have any

117
00:05:57,560 --> 00:06:01,400
Speaker 1: significant others to join them at the part. Well, I'm

118
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:04,680
Speaker 1: assuming that this party has women in it, That's what

119
00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:09,440
Speaker 1: I'm assuming. But the dudes ain't got no significant others,

120
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:12,159
Speaker 1: so they just hooking up with some old girls from

121
00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:15,239
Speaker 1: high school. You just said that he talks to hicks

122
00:06:15,839 --> 00:06:21,240
Speaker 1: to his girlfriends from high school. Now here goes your

123
00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:26,279
Speaker 1: other problem. You thirty one, he twenty six. You ain't.

124
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:29,719
Speaker 1: You're not already had your tenure reunion. He ain't had

125
00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:33,719
Speaker 1: his yet. His tenure reunion ain't do for another two years.

126
00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:37,920
Speaker 1: They are already hooking up you didn't have. Yours is gone.

127
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,719
Speaker 1: You've been married kids from a previous marriage. He got

128
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:45,280
Speaker 1: kids now now, he said, you can come along to

129
00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:50,960
Speaker 1: the next party after he's comfortable being around his friends again.

130
00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:57,000
Speaker 1: Excuse me, what friend do you have to rework up

131
00:06:57,279 --> 00:07:05,880
Speaker 1: getting recomfortable around you? Know? Hell, help me here? If

132
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:11,200
Speaker 1: day my friends? Why I gotta get reacquainted with especially men. Man,

133
00:07:11,240 --> 00:07:13,160
Speaker 1: we don't see each other for monsts. We don't call

134
00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:17,600
Speaker 1: each other. Man, what's up? Dog? He gotta get recomfortable

135
00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:20,920
Speaker 1: being around him. Lady, this whole letter is just you

136
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:26,120
Speaker 1: are buying into some bullcrap and you already know it's bullcrap.

137
00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:28,800
Speaker 1: He says, you ain't seen in them in lord, and

138
00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:30,600
Speaker 1: you don't know how many years. And he wants to

139
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:33,400
Speaker 1: claim only high school people who all went to the

140
00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:35,760
Speaker 1: same school will be there. Then you asked me, how

141
00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:37,760
Speaker 1: does that sound to you? Okay, let me ask you

142
00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:41,920
Speaker 1: something high sound to you? Right? It sounds crazy to you,

143
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:45,440
Speaker 1: don't it. You got all this education, you're smart, all

144
00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:49,480
Speaker 1: this here, use your mind. Okay. Then he says, then

145
00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:51,520
Speaker 1: you said he was out one time playing cars all

146
00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:54,880
Speaker 1: night to five am without calling home. Say honey, we'll work.

147
00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:56,560
Speaker 1: You can go on without me, Steve, what kind of

148
00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:58,720
Speaker 1: messages that I don't know? You tell me? Then you

149
00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:01,240
Speaker 1: says he used to be so much more attentive than

150
00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:05,080
Speaker 1: can but now he complains and tells his female friends

151
00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:09,400
Speaker 1: how he's tired of my argument. Do you know why

152
00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:14,480
Speaker 1: men tell their female friends about they tired and you

153
00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:21,880
Speaker 1: argon so? Is that they can then dig into their nurturing,

154
00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:26,240
Speaker 1: innately nurturing side that God has given all women and

155
00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:30,239
Speaker 1: say I won't argue with you, and she feels side

156
00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:32,160
Speaker 1: for you and wants to feel a void in your

157
00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:34,560
Speaker 1: life because you're such a good guy and you don't

158
00:08:34,559 --> 00:08:39,880
Speaker 1: deserve all this. That's why he's telling his girlfriends. All right,

159
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:52,440
Speaker 1: thank you Steve. As always, please don't try that, but

160
00:08:52,679 --> 00:08:55,160
Speaker 1: we have to go anyway. Email us or instagram us

161
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:58,240
Speaker 1: your thoughts on today's Strawberry Letter at my Girl surely

162
00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:02,680
Speaker 1: and don't forget this week's after show Strawberry Letter Live

163
00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:06,640
Speaker 1: on Facebook. It is tomorrow at one thirty pm. Please

164
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:09,720
Speaker 1: join me. We'll talk about the Strawberry Letter and whatever

165
00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:11,120
Speaker 1: you want to talk about. We'll have a pick of

166
00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:13,559
Speaker 1: the week, we'll talk about trending topics, all of that,

167
00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:16,520
Speaker 1: so make sure you join me again. It's tomorrow, Thursday,

168
00:09:16,559 --> 00:09:19,280
Speaker 1: at one pm. Okay, thank you,