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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is John, your og Okay

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Speaker 1: Storytime podcast host, and we got some delicious, juicy stories

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Speaker 1: coming up.

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Speaker 2: But if you want to hear that deliciousness, you know,

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Speaker 2: just stick around for a two minute break with a

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Speaker 2: word from our sponsors. I caught my boyfriend on a

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Speaker 2: dating app, but he caught someone else, caught someone cheating.

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Speaker 2: My friend came to me yesterday at lunch with screenshots

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Speaker 2: of my boyfriend's Tinder profile. The pictures were all we're

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Speaker 2: all old photos. So I confronted him immediately, expecting to

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Speaker 2: hear something like yeah, I forgot to delete that, which

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Speaker 2: is cool. He denied being on Tinder at all, and

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Speaker 2: my friend suggested that she make an account, set it

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Speaker 2: to his specifications and see if he turns up and

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Speaker 2: there's his profile. By the way, this comes from able

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Speaker 2: Algae And if you want to a smit your own stories,

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Speaker 2: go to the r slash okay storytime subreddit. I'm Sophia,

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Speaker 2: I'm Angie, I'm Keon, and we're here to give good advice. Goofully,

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Speaker 2: But we don't have all the answers. We only know

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Speaker 2: what we do, So let us know what you would

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Speaker 2: do in the comments and op says, so this means

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Speaker 2: that my boyfriend has been active on Tinder within the

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Speaker 2: past two weeks. I confronted him with this and he

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Speaker 2: changed his story. Now he's saying that his friend has

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Speaker 2: been using his count likely story. Why why would.

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Speaker 3: He be doing that my friend? Oh, let me just

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Speaker 3: use my friend's account his profile.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, oh, I know. My friend was using my profile

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Speaker 2: with me on as a. Joe is like, this is

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Speaker 2: the worst time to use the Oh, it was for

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Speaker 2: a friend. I was holding it for a friend. It

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Speaker 2: was for a friends.

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Speaker 1: I like the chase, Babe, I like the chase.

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Speaker 2: Come oh, babe, I wasn't going to do anything with these.

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Speaker 2: He shows me his phone and says, look, I have

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Speaker 2: nothing to hide, and of course the app is deleted.

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Speaker 2: So I take his phone, download Tinder, log in with

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Speaker 2: his password and see that he has it has been active,

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Speaker 2: albeit infrequently. Well, I guess he's not all the time.

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Speaker 2: I'll give him a break. He's not that desperut Here.

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Speaker 2: There was one girl that he tried to meet up

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Speaker 2: with back in May when I was out of town.

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Speaker 2: The girl gave him her phone number, and even though

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Speaker 2: he deleted whatever messages they exchanged. I still saw that

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Speaker 2: he had her saved in his contacts. So that's about

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Speaker 2: everything that I know. He either cheated on me or

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Speaker 2: planned on cheating on me while I was out of town.

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Speaker 2: And I'm sure this isn't the only time it's happened.

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Speaker 2: This relationship is pretty much over. He's swearing up and

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Speaker 2: down that it's not true he doesn't use tender.

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Speaker 1: What not left to the right.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he's swiping left and right that it's not true

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Speaker 2: he doesn't use tender and he.

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Speaker 1: Doesn't know this girl yet.

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Speaker 2: I'm going crazy with how much he's outright lying. He

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Speaker 2: seems so sincere, but I know what I saw. I

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Speaker 2: can't listen to him deny this one more time. I

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Speaker 2: know that this is the end. I guess. I'm looking

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Speaker 2: for advice on how to end it in a way

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Speaker 2: that doesn't leave me second guessing myself and moral support.

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Speaker 2: And there are some relevant comments. But do you have

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Speaker 2: any relevant comments of your own?

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Speaker 4: Why?

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Speaker 2: Sure, I do. I have some irrelevant comments, but I

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Speaker 2: won't see he goes to yourself. But yeah, I think,

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Speaker 2: I mean, you're probably going to second guess yourself if

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Speaker 2: you let him get to you. Yeah, he's gonna try

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Speaker 2: his best to get in there. He wants to wheedle

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Speaker 2: his way into your brain exactly, And yeah, you just

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Speaker 2: gotta you just gotta have a good pep talk with yourself. Yeah, self,

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Speaker 2: you know what you're doing. You know what you do,

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Speaker 2: look your look your hand in the eyes. All right,

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Speaker 2: you go stuff. You know what you're doing. All right.

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Speaker 2: You know this man is lying to you. Don't let

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Speaker 2: him tell you otherwise.

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Speaker 1: Are you talking over each other?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Shup. Yeah, and then you guys make out. Yeah, and

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Speaker 2: then you go break up with him exactly. That's what

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Speaker 2: you gotta do. That is tried and true. Yeah, do

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Speaker 2: that the mass I never had. Don't let it make

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Speaker 2: you question yourself. That's gaslighting. One on one. Look at

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Speaker 2: the facts and trust yourself, make a decision and stick

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Speaker 2: to it. Which is literally what Andrew just said. That's

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Speaker 2: literally what myself. This is.

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Speaker 5: This is what I said. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Oh, p says I want there to be a reasonable

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Speaker 2: explanation for all of us. When my friend showed me

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Speaker 2: his profile yesterday, I was sure that it was something silly,

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Speaker 2: But there just isn't right. It seems pretty clear to

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Speaker 2: me what has happened. Vacation Barbie says, if he's lying

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Speaker 2: about Tinder and now he doesn't know this girl, what

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Speaker 2: other things does he lied about will lie about in

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Speaker 2: the future. Plus if he's willing to cheat when you're

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Speaker 2: out of town, that just pulls it all together for me.

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Speaker 2: He's clearly not able to be trusted. I just confront

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Speaker 2: him and lay it out to him, wanting the whole

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Speaker 2: truth or you're gone. Oh p sa. I feel like

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Speaker 2: not knowing the whole truth is going to unlive me.

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Speaker 2: But I'm gone either way. Honestly, certain cynic says, guessnighting,

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Speaker 2: And that's what this is. And this is exactly what

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Speaker 2: my boyfriend did to me when I caught him cheating.

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Speaker 2: I was literally logged into his pof account looking at

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Speaker 2: the messages, and he was trying to deny it and

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Speaker 2: trying to make me seem crazy for believing it. You

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Speaker 2: are not crazy. He is a cheetah. You are not crazy.

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Speaker 2: One more time for good measure. You are not crazy,

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Speaker 2: no matter how he makes you feel about this. And

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Speaker 2: there is an edit. Let's read that edit. One. This

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Speaker 2: blew up while I was away. I'm sorry I won't

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Speaker 2: be able to respond to every comment, so I did

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Speaker 2: some stuff that was kind of petty and stupid. Today,

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Speaker 2: I made a fake tender account matched with my boyfriend,

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Speaker 2: and he starts messaging me and immediately asked me to

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Speaker 2: meet for a drink. Absolute mad lad. Move with your

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Speaker 2: girlfriend already thinks you're cheating. Yeah, yeah, and already found

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Speaker 2: your tender account. Yea, to then go on a date

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Speaker 2: with the first person that matches with you, literally, absolute

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Speaker 2: mad lad, just like, well, I mean, she already thinks

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Speaker 2: it's true. He's like paying attention to those to like.

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Speaker 3: What chaperone said, beout like well, everyone was calling me

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Speaker 3: a clown, so I said, all right, I'll show you

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Speaker 3: a class Altho.

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Speaker 2: He's like, let's just show you. Oh you think I'm

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Speaker 2: a cheater, I'll.

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Speaker 5: Just show you a cheater.

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Speaker 2: It's cheat, that's not that's not the same thing at all. No,

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Speaker 2: you're not cha, You're not.

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Speaker 3: No matter how much you want you want to be,

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Speaker 3: you could never, never, could never.

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Speaker 2: We agreed to meet by a fountain in the center

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Speaker 2: of my town, and I pack up all of his

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Speaker 2: stuff in a tote bag, put on a great outfit,

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Speaker 2: and went to the fountain. I stood kind of out

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Speaker 2: of the way of the fountain in the shadows where

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Speaker 2: I could watch the street that I knew he'd be

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Speaker 2: arriving from. I was devastated, but I figured this way

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Speaker 2: I could catch him without a doubt and end things quickly.

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Speaker 2: All the time, he's messaging this girl on Tinder, but

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Speaker 2: he didn't show up. Two of his roommates did what

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Speaker 2: he was telling the truth. We didn't speak. I don't

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Speaker 2: know them well, but they watched me for a while,

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Speaker 2: figured out what was going on after a few more

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Speaker 2: Tinder messages, and left. So I wait a few minutes

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Speaker 2: and I call my boyfriend and ask him where he's at.

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Speaker 2: He says he's just gotten off work and he's going

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Speaker 2: to meet his roommate for a drink. I confront him

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Speaker 2: with a fake Tinder profile, and he's dumb struck and

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Speaker 2: furious with his roommate, who he swears up and down

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Speaker 2: is behind all of this. Unless your boyfriend is trying.

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Speaker 1: To trick, you're in on it, and they're.

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Speaker 2: All in on it. He's like, Okay, well, yeah, I

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Speaker 2: know that unless he's like a genius. I'm at home now,

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Speaker 2: just emotionally exhausted and confused. Whatever is going on with

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Speaker 2: his roommates is super sketchy and creepy advice please, and

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Speaker 2: there isn't edit. Let's read it. Let's do it. Thank

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Speaker 2: you all so much for your vice and supports all

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Speaker 2: a few things that I think are important. Up until

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Speaker 2: this point, my boyfriend and I had a great relationship, really,

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Speaker 2: no red flags anywhere. If I had already been suspicious

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Speaker 2: that he was cheating, this would be a much easier

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Speaker 2: break for me. The most recent message on his tender account,

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Speaker 2: when I checked it yesterday, was sent to a girl

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Speaker 2: he had matched with before we met. It said, would

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Speaker 2: you want to meet up with my friend? Okay? Okay?

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Speaker 2: My boyfriend is the kind of person whose iPhone pass

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Speaker 2: code is zero zero zero zero.

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Speaker 1: Okay, there's no way he's a mastermind to.

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Speaker 2: Like, Yeah, I don't think he's smart enough for this.

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Speaker 1: There's no way he's smart enough.

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Speaker 2: I don't smart enough.

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Speaker 1: For this way.

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't be surprised if his roommates did know all

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Speaker 2: of his passwords. So his tender account is still matched

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Speaker 2: with my fake profile. To me, that indicates that he

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Speaker 2: probably isn't the person operating the tender profile. If it

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Speaker 2: were him, wouldn't he have blocked the fake profile immediately?

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Speaker 2: A lot of people have said that he probably sent

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Speaker 2: his roommates to check things out for him. I can't

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Speaker 2: write that off entirely, but my gut says that isn't true.

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Speaker 2: I just don't think it's very likely. When it comes

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Speaker 2: to his roommates, I'm very concerned that they have been

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Speaker 2: using his profile to trick women into meeting with them. Well,

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Speaker 2: that's like absolutely true. The fact that his profile hasn't

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Speaker 2: been deleted makes me worry that my boyfriend is in

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Speaker 2: on this. So that's about where I am at right now.

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Speaker 2: I'm worried that all of them are working together to

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Speaker 2: at best scam women, at worst hurt them, and my

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Speaker 2: boyfriend is at least passively involved either way, I feel

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Speaker 2: some responsibility to do a little more digging some comments.

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Speaker 2: Ad Jay says, you have all the info you need.

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Speaker 2: He still has this girl in his context? Does he?

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Speaker 2: Did they say specifically that it was in I thought

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Speaker 2: it was just through the app. I thought it was

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Speaker 2: too I think this is new information. And ride or

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Speaker 2: did meet up with her as soon as you were

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Speaker 2: out of town? Who cares if he actually cheated or not?

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Speaker 2: Think about how crappy of a person you have to

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Speaker 2: be to pull this stunt then lie about it, claiming

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Speaker 2: his friend was using his Tinder with his information and pictures.

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Speaker 2: That's one of the dumbest things I've read on this

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Speaker 2: sup ohp he says, after what happened tonight, I think

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Speaker 2: I just need to get out as fast as possible.

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Speaker 2: It was seriously weird that two of his roommates showed up,

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Speaker 2: Ope replied to a deleted comment. I feel so creeped

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Speaker 2: out by the fact that it was two of them.

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Speaker 2: If it was just his one roommate, that would have

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Speaker 2: been easier to handle, but both of them showed up.

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Speaker 2: It makes me worry that they didn't have good intentions

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Speaker 2: for this fake Tinder girl. Yeah, dude, I don't I'm

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Speaker 2: even possible to have got attentions here. I think we've just,

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Speaker 2: you know, discovered clime. Yeah, we've just just we've discovered

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Speaker 2: criminals here. I mean, at the at the very least,

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Speaker 2: they catfish someone. At the very worst, there's two guys

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Speaker 2: meeting up with a girl that doesn't know who they are.

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Speaker 2: Because one of the one of the possible scenarios that

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Speaker 2: it see like he was leaning towards is.

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Speaker 3: Like, oh they were they knew that you were trying

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Speaker 3: to scam me and trick me, so they went after.

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Speaker 2: But that doesn't work because them Well, but when they

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Speaker 2: saw her, they they got awkward and left. They didn't

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Speaker 2: confront her, which they would have if that was the truth. Yeah, dude,

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Speaker 2: I don't think it was even.

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Speaker 3: Possible to have good intentions here. I think we've just,

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Speaker 3: you know, discovered crime.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we've just just we've discovered criminals here. Sure, Starving

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Speaker 2: Muse says, the edit still doesn't change the fact he

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Speaker 2: was talking to another woman and planned on meeting her

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Speaker 2: and still had her number saved in his contacts. But

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Speaker 2: his roommates that's very sketchy. I do not have an

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Speaker 2: explanation for that, but a bad gut feeling. Oh, he says, right.

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Speaker 2: The fact that two people showed up instead of one

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Speaker 2: makes me think they had something planned for fake Tinder

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Speaker 2: girl they thought they were meeting with, and oz Cat

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Speaker 2: Girl says, playing devil's advocate, his roommates may have been

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Speaker 2: helping him out of this situation. Today with you, you can

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Speaker 2: now say it was all along. There was that girl's

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Speaker 2: number in his phone. However, do you have access to

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Speaker 2: his call history? I don't have access to his call

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Speaker 2: history anymore. Do you think my boyfriend could have figured

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Speaker 2: out that it was me on a fake profile and

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Speaker 2: sent his roommates That seems a little bit far fetched,

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Speaker 2: but this whole thing has gotten pretty weird. Yeah, I

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Speaker 2: think I just debunked that. Yeah, I don't think that's true.

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Speaker 2: They literally would have confronted her, that was the case,

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Speaker 2: occasional butt Hat says after you're edit, it is completely

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Speaker 2: possible his roommates are at fault. The only part that

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Speaker 2: makes me question that is having the contact for the

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Speaker 2: girl from when you were away. Can you get his

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Speaker 2: cell phone logs should be in his bill see if

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Speaker 2: he texted her back in May. If he did, he's

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Speaker 2: been lying to you. If not, he may be telling

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Speaker 2: the truth. He can delete the thread on his phone,

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Speaker 2: but not the messages from his cell phone bill. Either way,

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Speaker 2: he's got some explaining to do. Why would his roommates

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Speaker 2: not just use their own account? They could be complete buttholes,

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Speaker 2: But then why would they actually show up? Is your

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Speaker 2: ex boyfriend a lot better looking than them? And that

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Speaker 2: person put X and question mark? Opie says, my boyfriend

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Speaker 2: is much better looking than them. A. Yeah, he's more

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Speaker 2: charming too. I've only had very brief encounters with his roommates.

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Speaker 2: They struggle with women for varying reasons, and anytime I've

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Speaker 2: met one of them, they begged me to set them

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Speaker 2: up with one of my friends. I probably can't get

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Speaker 2: his cell phone logs. One thing that is worth mentioning though.

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Speaker 2: While I was going through his Tinder messages, the most

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Speaker 2: recent message was from a few weeks ago. It was

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Speaker 2: sent to an old match who he hadn't messaged since

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Speaker 2: before we got together, and it said, would you want

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Speaker 2: to meet up with my friend? That's suspicious. Steve Tentacles says, well,

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Speaker 2: this got really weird. I feel like maybe the edic

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Speaker 2: has some doubt on whether he actually cheated or not,

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Speaker 2: but the whole thing sounds really shady. I don't see

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Speaker 2: why he would be sending his roommates to scope out

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Speaker 2: the situation. I've never heard of that even happening. But

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Speaker 2: as it seems like you and him both know the

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Speaker 2: relationship is pretty much over, so why be so vigilant

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Speaker 2: in covering his tracks at the stage? To me, it

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Speaker 2: sounds like his roommates were using his photos on fake

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Speaker 2: Tinder meeting up with girl rolls two on one without

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Speaker 2: their knowledge and doing what exactly. The whole thing sounds

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Speaker 2: really sketchy, And even if he wasn't cheating, I would

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Speaker 2: question being in a relationship with someone who condones this

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Speaker 2: kind of behavior. Bus he probably was cheating anyway. You

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Speaker 2: still found the phone number he got while you were away,

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Speaker 2: Op says, I agree. I very much doubt that he

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Speaker 2: would have sent his roommates check things out. It's hard

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Speaker 2: to explain, but it just doesn't seem like something he'd do.

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Speaker 2: Of course, cheating didn't seem like something he would do

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Speaker 2: until very recently, So a huge part of what happens

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Speaker 2: next is going to depend on how he handles things

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Speaker 2: with his roommates. Seems like if he was really bothered

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Speaker 2: by this, he would have stopped them already by changing

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Speaker 2: his passwords or deleting his account, And as of this morning,

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00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:49,800
Speaker 2: the account is still up. How does he just not

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Speaker 2: know how to delete accounts.

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Speaker 1: Or make a password.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so I don't trust that. M M caps

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Speaker 2: Lyon says, So I'm getting this weird feeling about both

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Speaker 2: of his roommates showing up. I may be totally off base,

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Speaker 2: but the only reason I can think of. For two

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Speaker 2: dudes to show up to a tender meetup is something bad.

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Speaker 2: I'd be kind of wary about all three of them

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Speaker 2: if this is a shared account, and Opie says that's

305
00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:17,280
Speaker 2: my fear too. I'm worried they've been using his profile

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00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:20,480
Speaker 2: as a cover to hurt women. Seems worth mentioning that

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Speaker 2: my boyfriend has told me in the past that he

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Speaker 2: dislikes his roommates but stays friendly with them because it's

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Speaker 2: the easiest way to live there. Once a friend of

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Speaker 2: mine asked if i'd have him her up with one

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Speaker 2: of them, and he gave me a very hard note,

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Speaker 2: which threw me off because every time I've spoken with

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Speaker 2: one of them, they begged me to set them up

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Speaker 2: with someone. There is an update, it's I mean, it

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Speaker 2: is a good sign, at least for your boyfriend that

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Speaker 2: he's said previously that he doesn't like them, because that

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Speaker 2: could mean that they're just not great people.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and yeah, that could leave room for like, yo, oh,

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Speaker 3: they're like there's reasonable doubt here. Yeah, but I would

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Speaker 3: only believe that if they were like not necessarily threatening them,

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Speaker 3: but just making the living situation very uncomfortable. If he

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Speaker 3: didn't help them with this thing. But I feel like

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Speaker 3: it's too more.

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Speaker 2: So like like he might not be involved and but

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Speaker 2: I still don't know why he Yeah, it's confusing what

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00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:18,760
Speaker 2: it's like? Yeah, what are you saying?

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Speaker 3: What I'm curious about is so Opie is you know

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Speaker 3: seeing the messages, she knows how active he is. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: if they are taking his phone, I want to pay

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Speaker 3: attention to when he's responding, because if it's like often

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Speaker 3: and throughout the day, or if it's like at one

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Speaker 3: time per day when he's like busy or something like that,

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Speaker 3: then it's like, okay. Well if it's if it's often

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Speaker 3: and like he's definitely at work, they're definitely not with him,

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Speaker 3: then it's him talk.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, the she already said that it seemed like

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Speaker 2: he wasn't doing it a lot. She was like, it

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00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:55,360
Speaker 2: seems like he's not reaching out to people a lot. Okay,

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Speaker 2: so hm, I don't know updates it got weirder.

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Speaker 1: Oh oh.

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Speaker 2: The girl whose phone number was in my boyfriend's phone

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00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:10,119
Speaker 2: was from Brazil, so I wasn't sure about calling or

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Speaker 2: texting the number, but I did find her in the

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00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:16,200
Speaker 2: app by searching for the phone number. I messaged her

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00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:18,840
Speaker 2: and asked about my boyfriend. She confirmed that she had

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00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:21,399
Speaker 2: matched with him on Tinder and they exchanged phone numbers.

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00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:24,879
Speaker 2: The phone number she has is my boyfriend's correct number,

348
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:27,879
Speaker 2: but she never met up with them because when they

349
00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:30,800
Speaker 2: exchanged more selfies, the man in the photos was clearly

350
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Speaker 2: not my boyfriend. So what could have happened here is

351
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:38,719
Speaker 2: they take boyfriend's phone, they message her on the phone,

352
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:44,160
Speaker 2: and then delete the messages so that he doesn't see them. Okay, okay,

353
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:48,840
Speaker 2: this is in Yeah, in his defense, I met with

354
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Speaker 2: my boyfriend and laid out everything for him. I showed

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Speaker 2: him the fake profile, the messages I had exchanged with

356
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Speaker 2: the Brazilian girl, told him about his roommates coming to

357
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Speaker 2: the fountain the other night, and told them that if

358
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Speaker 2: he was honest with me about what was going on,

359
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:03,200
Speaker 2: we could work through things, but that if he kept lying,

360
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,600
Speaker 2: we were finished. I told him he needed to get

361
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:09,080
Speaker 2: real honest about what was going on between him, his roommates,

362
00:18:09,119 --> 00:18:13,600
Speaker 2: and this Tinder account. Here's what happened, and I believe

363
00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:16,960
Speaker 2: this all to be true. When my boyfriend upgraded his phone,

364
00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:21,080
Speaker 2: he gave his old one to his roommate, and when

365
00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:23,280
Speaker 2: he reset it, he let his roommate connect to his

366
00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:28,760
Speaker 2: Apple ID. Bad idea, Why would you ever do that? So,

367
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:31,240
Speaker 2: my boyfriend had shared his Apple I D password with

368
00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:34,760
Speaker 2: him and they've been sharing an account. His roommate, for

369
00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:38,560
Speaker 2: reasons we don't totally understand, managed to get onto his

370
00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:42,040
Speaker 2: Tinder profile and started using it as his own. He

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Speaker 2: said he thought he looked enough like the pictures that

372
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Speaker 2: he could get away with it. They're both the same ethnicity,

373
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Speaker 2: but my boyfriend is way hotter, so I'm not sure

374
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Speaker 2: how his roommate thought that would work out. When his

375
00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:54,720
Speaker 2: roommate can't pay his own phone bill, my boyfriend will

376
00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:57,320
Speaker 2: often lend him his phone or switch SIM cards for

377
00:18:57,359 --> 00:18:59,600
Speaker 2: a while. If you don't like your roommates, why are

378
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:02,760
Speaker 2: you doing all that? Yeah, maybe that's way too much

379
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:05,119
Speaker 2: for somebody you don't like. I know this sounds strange,

380
00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:07,520
Speaker 2: but I know for a fact that it's true. When

381
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:09,879
Speaker 2: I was out of town in May, a boyfriend's roommate

382
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,879
Speaker 2: matched with his Tinder girl got her phone number, couldn't

383
00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:15,320
Speaker 2: text her because he hadn't paid his own bill, so

384
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:18,119
Speaker 2: he could contact her on Tinder through Wi Fi, but

385
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:21,080
Speaker 2: not send texts. Since I was out of town anyway,

386
00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:23,720
Speaker 2: and I was the only person my boyfriend needs to contact.

387
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:25,800
Speaker 2: He agreed to let his roommate use his phone to

388
00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:28,320
Speaker 2: talk to this girl, but didn't know at that point

389
00:19:28,359 --> 00:19:31,320
Speaker 2: that his roommate was catfishing this girl with old pictures.

390
00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:36,679
Speaker 2: So it seems like, yeah, we have some level at

391
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:40,639
Speaker 2: least oh pea's mind confirmation. Yeah, boyfriend has not been cheating,

392
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:45,040
Speaker 2: but roommate this whole time has been using his phone,

393
00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:49,520
Speaker 2: which I think is just, you know, example, life lesson

394
00:19:50,119 --> 00:19:54,800
Speaker 2: about the passpord safety. Yeah, not sharing your Apple i

395
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:57,920
Speaker 2: D password with your roommate who you don't like. Yeah,

396
00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,639
Speaker 2: don't do that. Guys, don't do that. You even know

397
00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:01,480
Speaker 2: it's some of the you do. Like, this is weird. Yeah,

398
00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:05,320
Speaker 2: unless it's your parents. Yeah, and you're a child, and

399
00:20:05,359 --> 00:20:08,920
Speaker 2: you're a child. Yeah. Both roommates showed up to meet

400
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:10,960
Speaker 2: the fake Tinder girl because I had told them on

401
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:15,159
Speaker 2: the fake account that the girl had a roommate. Okay, Hey,

402
00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:17,439
Speaker 2: Their plan was to meet with this girl and convince

403
00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:20,560
Speaker 2: her to bring her roommate out as well for his friend. Weird,

404
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,760
Speaker 2: not a great idea, kind of weird, but okay. Boyfriend,

405
00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:26,760
Speaker 2: of course, was furious with his roommate and made sure

406
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:30,440
Speaker 2: the account was permanently deleted. This has been the craziest,

407
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:33,600
Speaker 2: most exhausting week of my life. I believe that this

408
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:36,440
Speaker 2: is how everything happened. My boyfriend and I are working

409
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:41,800
Speaker 2: on repairing the relationship and top Brotherland comments. Catatronic says,

410
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:45,200
Speaker 2: holy guacamolio pie, that's crazy. First of all, I hope

411
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:48,240
Speaker 2: you're usso cuts off contact with that friend. I mean,

412
00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:52,000
Speaker 2: unfortunately he lives with these people. Yeah, so this is

413
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,919
Speaker 2: probably Yeah, I mean, get out of that, can't This

414
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:58,359
Speaker 2: is how he gets treated after everything he's done. Also,

415
00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:00,880
Speaker 2: I still don't fully believe the roomate story about why

416
00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:04,240
Speaker 2: both of them came. Maybe they're socially illiterate enough to

417
00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:07,560
Speaker 2: not realize how weird that is. But honestly, I wouldn't

418
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:11,120
Speaker 2: be surprised if they're just trying to cover up nefarious intentions.

419
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:13,960
Speaker 2: Bliet It says, glad to hear your boyfriend wasn't cheating

420
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:17,080
Speaker 2: on you. It really makes you think about knucklehead reactions

421
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:19,720
Speaker 2: on this site. Then again, most of these stories don't

422
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:25,800
Speaker 2: have a happy ending. Uh Julius Caesar seizure. Julius seizure

423
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:29,399
Speaker 2: as Wow, it's actually really good. You try to set

424
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:31,920
Speaker 2: him up. Otherwise you probably still would think he's guilty.

425
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:35,119
Speaker 2: I would too. What worries me is his roommates are

426
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:37,600
Speaker 2: lying to girls about who they are. What's even more

427
00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:39,879
Speaker 2: worrying is that he brought a friend with on the

428
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:43,240
Speaker 2: date when he never mentioned he would. I genuinely think

429
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:45,240
Speaker 2: they may be trying to take advantage of a girl,

430
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:49,320
Speaker 2: because this is all incredibly weird and suspicious. Seriously, I

431
00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:52,399
Speaker 2: would file a police report for identity fraud or something

432
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:55,000
Speaker 2: along the lines of that. Don't delete evidence you have.

433
00:21:55,359 --> 00:21:58,280
Speaker 2: None of this sounds right. Hopefully, since your boyfriend was

434
00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:01,040
Speaker 2: never lying, you will be able to make up up. Yeah,

435
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:04,080
Speaker 2: I would hope, so, I would hope. So yeah, Yeah,

436
00:22:04,119 --> 00:22:07,800
Speaker 2: what a crazy story. That is really crazy. I didn't

437
00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:10,520
Speaker 2: know where that was going. Yeah, start to finish, man,

438
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:13,800
Speaker 2: oh man, Wow to full detective mode truly? Yeah, Op,

439
00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:17,000
Speaker 2: I mean good job. Ope, you like went down the

440
00:22:17,119 --> 00:22:20,640
Speaker 2: rabbit hole, you went under cover, you called the girl

441
00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:21,400
Speaker 2: from Brazil.

442
00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:24,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, your boyfriend was literally doing the bear.

443
00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:26,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, your boyfriend was doing nothing while you were doing

444
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:27,119
Speaker 2: all this.

445
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:31,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, to like defend his name and like the relationship,

446
00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:33,199
Speaker 1: He's like, nah, babe, you got this. You're a Batman.

447
00:22:33,359 --> 00:22:36,919
Speaker 2: Shit, He's like, I know my girlfriend, she's got this. Yeah,

448
00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:38,480
Speaker 2: I don't. I don't even have to do anything.

449
00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:39,000
Speaker 5: Just got this.

450
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,439
Speaker 2: And that's the end of this story. We're going on

451
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:45,119
Speaker 2: to the next one. I secretly planned to propose to

452
00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:49,359
Speaker 2: my girlfriend until everything went horribly wrong. Did she say no?

453
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:52,480
Speaker 2: So I've been with my girlfriend for about three years now.

454
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:53,960
Speaker 2: We started seriously.

455
00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:55,359
Speaker 3: Talking about marriage in June and I told her that

456
00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:57,600
Speaker 3: I would like to propose by year end. The more

457
00:22:57,640 --> 00:22:59,760
Speaker 3: we talked, the more we wanted an October wedding. And

458
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:02,800
Speaker 3: on the nineteenth of the next year, she said that

459
00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:05,760
Speaker 3: she wanted at least a year to plan, so engagement.

460
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:07,600
Speaker 2: Would have to be by then. By the way, this

461
00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:09,320
Speaker 2: comes from it just to throw it away.

462
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:11,480
Speaker 3: Fifty two seventeen And if you want to submit your

463
00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:14,080
Speaker 3: own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime Separated

464
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:15,960
Speaker 3: And my name's Angie.

465
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:18,320
Speaker 2: I'm Sophia, I'm Keon, and we are here to give

466
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:21,240
Speaker 2: good advice goofully. But we don't have all the answers.

467
00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:22,680
Speaker 2: We just know what we would do in the situation.

468
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:24,360
Speaker 2: So let us know what you would do in the comments.

469
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:28,040
Speaker 3: So Opie says she has dropped hints over the last

470
00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:31,840
Speaker 3: few months, not so subtly about waiting for the rings

471
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:34,359
Speaker 3: so she could start planning. We had a trip to

472
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:36,800
Speaker 3: the mountains planned for this weekend, and I figured since

473
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:38,919
Speaker 3: the nineteenth is a Friday and the day that we

474
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:40,880
Speaker 3: plan to leave, that it would be the optimal time

475
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:41,520
Speaker 3: to propose.

476
00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:44,879
Speaker 2: So, even though I knew she was getting proposing on

477
00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:47,280
Speaker 2: the day you're leaving, Yeah, that doesn't. That sounds a

478
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:48,800
Speaker 2: little terrible idea, that does.

479
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:52,360
Speaker 3: Even though I knew she was getting a little impatient,

480
00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:54,240
Speaker 3: I figured the timing would be perfect and we could

481
00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:55,199
Speaker 3: celebrate all weekend.

482
00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:59,080
Speaker 2: On Friday night, we got some devastating news. Her father

483
00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:01,320
Speaker 2: had a heart attack, and we rushed to the hospital.

484
00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:06,040
Speaker 2: Oh no, oh yeah, can't we wait a day. You

485
00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:10,000
Speaker 2: can't pull a Jeremiah in the summer, I turn pretty Yeah,

486
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:16,000
Speaker 2: and propose while you're beyond your girlfriend's family members in

487
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:18,359
Speaker 2: the hospital. Yeah you can't. You can't do that.

488
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:19,159
Speaker 1: Uh.

489
00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:21,560
Speaker 2: He was alive when we got there, but did not

490
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:24,680
Speaker 2: make it through the night. Oh my gosh, that's awful.

491
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:28,760
Speaker 3: My girlfriend is heartbroken. No one saw this coming. I

492
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:31,000
Speaker 3: am also extremely upset. It's him and I had gotten

493
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:33,520
Speaker 3: pretty close over the last few years. I also was

494
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:35,280
Speaker 3: very upset because I had asked him at the end

495
00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:37,600
Speaker 3: of August for his blessing and explained to him the

496
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:38,280
Speaker 3: whole plan.

497
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:40,399
Speaker 2: He was so excited.

498
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:41,960
Speaker 3: For this and even mentioned it to me several times

499
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,560
Speaker 3: when we were at their house for supper.

500
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:44,160
Speaker 2: Last week.

501
00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:47,720
Speaker 3: Saturday was kind of a blur, and Sunday we started

502
00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:48,200
Speaker 3: to help.

503
00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:50,359
Speaker 2: Her mother and brother make funeral arrangements.

504
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:53,320
Speaker 3: She was grieving, but we were getting through it together

505
00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:57,159
Speaker 3: until last night. Last night, she flipped out on me.

506
00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:59,800
Speaker 3: She told me that I'm a monster for not proposing

507
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:02,040
Speaker 3: by now, and that her dad would never see her

508
00:25:02,119 --> 00:25:03,640
Speaker 3: ring or hear the story.

509
00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:09,200
Speaker 2: Okay, I mean, like really heartbreaking, but she's lashing out.

510
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:15,680
Speaker 2: She's grieving. Yeah, and you know it's not your fault. Yeah, definitely,

511
00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:18,880
Speaker 2: not not even really her fault. It's like a really

512
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:19,800
Speaker 2: harsh thing to say.

513
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:21,560
Speaker 1: It's nobody's fault.

514
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:23,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's no one. There's no one. No, I'm just

515
00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:25,560
Speaker 2: saying in what she's saying, what she's saying, like, yes,

516
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:28,000
Speaker 2: it is very hurtful, but also this person is grieving

517
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:30,680
Speaker 2: the unexpected loss of their father.

518
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:33,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, so yeah, and processing so much.

519
00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:36,000
Speaker 2: It's just like, you really have to not take that

520
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:38,800
Speaker 2: to heart, to listen to her and be like, Okay,

521
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:39,600
Speaker 2: how do we solve this?

522
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:43,000
Speaker 3: But I think deep down she's upset that he will

523
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:44,040
Speaker 3: not be there for the wedding.

524
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:46,600
Speaker 2: We all are, but I couldn't have foreseen this, or

525
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:49,199
Speaker 2: I would have proposed persons to go. I don't know

526
00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:49,639
Speaker 2: what to do.

527
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 3: Part of me wants to show her the ring and

528
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:53,240
Speaker 3: tell her that I discussed it with him prior and

529
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:54,000
Speaker 3: that we have.

530
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:55,680
Speaker 2: His blessing, absolutely do that.

531
00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:58,040
Speaker 3: I just feel like everything is messed up now and

532
00:25:58,080 --> 00:25:58,840
Speaker 3: I don't know what to do.

533
00:25:59,040 --> 00:25:59,919
Speaker 2: Our mountains we can.

534
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:02,760
Speaker 3: This is definitely off, obviously, and I was planning to

535
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:04,960
Speaker 3: wait to propose until things are stable again, but she

536
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:06,119
Speaker 3: is so upset with me.

537
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:07,960
Speaker 2: I don't even know how to approach it.

538
00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:10,000
Speaker 3: She slept on the couch last night, and I just

539
00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:11,800
Speaker 3: want to hug her and tell her that there's nothing

540
00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:13,760
Speaker 3: that I want more than her to be my wife

541
00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:15,720
Speaker 3: and her dad is still be here, but I can't.

542
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:18,800
Speaker 2: She doesn't want me close to her. What can I do?

543
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:23,800
Speaker 2: There are some comments. Yeah, immediately you say, hey, like

544
00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:25,880
Speaker 2: I would like to talk to you, sit her down,

545
00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:29,040
Speaker 2: and you say I just want you to know that,

546
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:32,600
Speaker 2: like I love you, blah blah blah, I had plans

547
00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:35,880
Speaker 2: to propose to you. Yeah on this day. Yeah, I

548
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:39,360
Speaker 2: already talked with your dad. He gave me his blessing.

549
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:39,840
Speaker 5: Yeah.

550
00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:43,800
Speaker 2: Explain the whole thing, yeah, explain it all. Say I

551
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:46,600
Speaker 2: absolutely want you to be my wife. Yeah, I just

552
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:48,080
Speaker 2: want to know what you want to like it. Do

553
00:26:48,119 --> 00:26:51,680
Speaker 2: you want me to plan like, I will absolutely plan

554
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:54,560
Speaker 2: something if you want to get proposed right now? Yeah,

555
00:26:54,600 --> 00:27:01,320
Speaker 2: like basically not necessarily proposed to her, kind of tell

556
00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:04,400
Speaker 2: her about the proposal, tell her everything. Yeah. I think

557
00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:07,160
Speaker 2: when you tell her it should be maybe a mix

558
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:11,199
Speaker 2: of the romantic and the comforting, like this is a

559
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:13,920
Speaker 2: time of grieving. I'm not trying to just say like

560
00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:17,840
Speaker 2: let's forget this. Yeah yeah, it's still understand Yeah, and

561
00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:20,520
Speaker 2: saying and like you're kind of proposing to her in

562
00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:23,560
Speaker 2: a way. Yeah, but if she wants you to be like,

563
00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:26,480
Speaker 2: let's plan something like do you want something? You want

564
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:28,240
Speaker 2: me to do this? Yeah, because I had a whole

565
00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:29,080
Speaker 2: idea do you want that?

566
00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:29,480
Speaker 5: Yeah?

567
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:32,320
Speaker 2: In this you can just like yeah, yeah you can,

568
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:35,040
Speaker 2: I agree, you can ask her like what she wants, Like,

569
00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:38,560
Speaker 2: you still want me to surprise you, and and do

570
00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:40,720
Speaker 2: you want to keep our date for next year? Do

571
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:41,119
Speaker 2: you want this?

572
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:41,399
Speaker 5: And that?

573
00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:44,600
Speaker 2: Like tell him tell her all about how excited your

574
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:49,040
Speaker 2: dad was. Yeah, yeah, that would mean so much to her. Yeah, totally,

575
00:27:49,119 --> 00:27:52,560
Speaker 2: I think you can save this. Yeah, I believe. I

576
00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:55,240
Speaker 2: believe in you. But we do have some relevant comments.

577
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:58,320
Speaker 3: When commenter says yes at this point, please show her

578
00:27:58,359 --> 00:28:00,000
Speaker 3: the ring, tell her that you were planning to propose

579
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:02,000
Speaker 3: during the strip, and tell her about how you talk

580
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:04,600
Speaker 3: to her dad about this in August, et cetera. Especially

581
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:07,560
Speaker 3: that are her parents together, would her dad have told

582
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:09,800
Speaker 3: her mom about this? In case you need corroboration that

583
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:12,200
Speaker 3: you actually did talk to her dad, And please try

584
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:14,400
Speaker 3: not to be too upset with her. Opie says, Oh

585
00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:15,520
Speaker 3: my gosh, I'm not.

586
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:16,920
Speaker 2: Upset with her even a little bit.

587
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:19,760
Speaker 3: She couldn't have known my plan, and I know how

588
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:22,120
Speaker 3: much her dad meant to her. I'm the furthest thing

589
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:24,159
Speaker 3: from upset with her. I just want to make her

590
00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:26,600
Speaker 3: feel better. I am worried that if I show her

591
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:29,760
Speaker 3: the ring then she'll think it's like a pity proposal,

592
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:30,800
Speaker 3: or it will ruin.

593
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:34,040
Speaker 2: For her again. This is why you tell her everything. Yeah, like,

594
00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:36,800
Speaker 2: you just give her everything, and I think you give

595
00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:38,760
Speaker 2: that lead up before even showing the ring.

596
00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:42,000
Speaker 3: Also, yes, her parents are together, and yes, Mom definitely

597
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:44,480
Speaker 3: knows about my plan. I just know that she's upset too,

598
00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:46,280
Speaker 3: and I don't want to pester her with this. I

599
00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:48,680
Speaker 3: feel like it's probably the furthest thing from her mind.

600
00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:51,160
Speaker 3: The reckless one says, I think sitting her down and

601
00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:53,400
Speaker 3: telling her something like I had been speaking with her

602
00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:55,480
Speaker 3: with your father about a plan for this weekend. I

603
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:57,480
Speaker 3: was going to propose whilst we were in the mountains,

604
00:28:57,520 --> 00:29:00,480
Speaker 3: and he loved the idea. He knew the whole He

605
00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:02,760
Speaker 3: even told your mom, I know this is not the

606
00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:04,800
Speaker 3: perfect time for a proposal, So would you like to

607
00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:06,680
Speaker 3: see the ring? Or shall we wait a little longer?

608
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:09,720
Speaker 2: What that would work best? Don't go from why haven't

609
00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:11,800
Speaker 2: you proposed yet to bam, here's a ring?

610
00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:12,080
Speaker 5: Yeah.

611
00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:12,720
Speaker 2: Yeah.

612
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:14,800
Speaker 3: The most important part is that there was a plan

613
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:16,760
Speaker 3: and her dad knew about it. Leave it up to

614
00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:19,640
Speaker 3: her whether she sees the ring and everything now, or

615
00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:22,040
Speaker 3: whether you postponed still have a big proposal.

616
00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:24,480
Speaker 2: Opie says, I like this idea.

617
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:26,560
Speaker 3: My sister has been telling me that showing her the

618
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:28,360
Speaker 3: ring will ruin any big moment in the future.

619
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:30,280
Speaker 2: But I like the idea of giving her a choice.

620
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:33,480
Speaker 3: Honestly, if she is okay without the big proposal, I

621
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:36,000
Speaker 3: want to give her the ring. I want to be engaged,

622
00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:38,120
Speaker 3: and I know she does too. I wasn't dragging this

623
00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:40,440
Speaker 3: out for anything other than the perfect place or time.

624
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 3: I think once I get off work tonight, I'll try

625
00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:44,239
Speaker 3: to have this talk with her.

626
00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:48,920
Speaker 2: If she's speaking to me, then he's listening really well

627
00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:49,920
Speaker 2: to everyone, and I'm glad.

628
00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:50,640
Speaker 5: I agree.

629
00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:53,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, delete it says twenty few mil here.

630
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:55,440
Speaker 3: I think that you should keep telling her that you're

631
00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 3: there for her and show her your support. Let her

632
00:29:57,840 --> 00:30:00,000
Speaker 3: have her time alone right now, and don't rush anything.

633
00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:02,560
Speaker 3: But if she continues to be angry with you specifically

634
00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:04,840
Speaker 3: about this and doesn't let it go of it, I

635
00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:06,880
Speaker 3: think you should tell her about the plans and the blessing.

636
00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:09,560
Speaker 3: In that way, you can first wait and see if

637
00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:12,560
Speaker 3: she comes around it's only been a day, and then

638
00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:14,280
Speaker 3: tell her about all of this when you decide it's

639
00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:16,320
Speaker 3: a good time to propose. But you're one of the

640
00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:18,640
Speaker 3: closest people to her, so it's not necessary. If you

641
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:21,240
Speaker 3: can be close to her during this terrible time because

642
00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:24,160
Speaker 3: of something that isn't even true. I believe though, that

643
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:27,960
Speaker 3: she is just generally obviously heartbroken and experiences a lot

644
00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:30,560
Speaker 3: of feelings about everything, one of them being you not

645
00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:34,000
Speaker 3: proposing quote in time, and that yesterday that was just

646
00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:36,400
Speaker 3: what she happened to put all her feelings into. And

647
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:39,120
Speaker 3: even if things seem incredibly badly timed, you got his

648
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:42,160
Speaker 3: blessing before he passed. That's beautiful. In the long run,

649
00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:44,800
Speaker 3: it's going to be okay, even if right now it isn't.

650
00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:47,320
Speaker 3: It never is when this kind of thing's happened.

651
00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:50,200
Speaker 2: Best of luck. I don't response, I don't fully agree

652
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:57,160
Speaker 2: with that, like that plan of like not telling her yet. Yeah, yeah,

653
00:30:57,320 --> 00:30:58,360
Speaker 2: but I mean you should be.

654
00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:03,000
Speaker 3: Like there, but yeah, Opie responds, Dang, every comment gives

655
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:05,280
Speaker 3: me something new to think about. I was just sold

656
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:07,200
Speaker 3: on sitting her down and telling her that there is

657
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:09,320
Speaker 3: a ring and we have her father's blessing and asking

658
00:31:09,320 --> 00:31:11,720
Speaker 3: if she wants to see it or wait. However, now

659
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:13,760
Speaker 3: I'm wondering if she will even be thinking of that

660
00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:14,520
Speaker 3: when I come home.

661
00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:16,240
Speaker 2: You're right, she's all over.

662
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:18,560
Speaker 3: The place right now. But I totally get that. I

663
00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:20,600
Speaker 3: think I'm just going to try to read her mood.

664
00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:22,440
Speaker 3: I also have quite a few.

665
00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:27,040
Speaker 2: Text messages between myself and her father too, those totally absolutely.

666
00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:29,760
Speaker 3: This is all since our initial discussion in August of

667
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:32,040
Speaker 3: me showing him the ring I picked and him saying

668
00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:34,600
Speaker 3: that he thought that she'd love it, and him asking

669
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:36,760
Speaker 3: for details of the plan and saying how excited he

670
00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:40,200
Speaker 3: is for And I want to show her all of

671
00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:42,440
Speaker 3: these things too, but maybe it's best to give it Ah.

672
00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:48,440
Speaker 2: And Opie, it responded to a delete comment. No, that's

673
00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:51,200
Speaker 2: not it at all. She was impatient because she knew

674
00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:54,400
Speaker 2: it was coming. We discussed at length months ago. She

675
00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:55,200
Speaker 2: didn't demand it.

676
00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:58,000
Speaker 3: She wants the ring to start planning, because engagement is

677
00:31:58,080 --> 00:32:02,520
Speaker 3: when planning starts. We do have an update from one

678
00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:05,160
Speaker 3: and a half month's later, hour, so.

679
00:32:06,640 --> 00:32:08,800
Speaker 2: I'm excited to find out what happened me too. I

680
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:11,920
Speaker 2: gotta know. Yeah, like, did you take my advice?

681
00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:11,240
Speaker 1: You?

682
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:13,720
Speaker 2: I know, did you listen to us? Yeah? Can you

683
00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:17,440
Speaker 2: hear us? Please tell me so update?

684
00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:20,280
Speaker 3: Okay, So in my last post, my girlfriend was being

685
00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:22,720
Speaker 3: very aggressive towards me about not proposing before her father

686
00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:25,720
Speaker 3: passed away. She stayed relatively upset and cold towards me

687
00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:28,160
Speaker 3: throughout the funeral, but afterwards it seemed like we started

688
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:31,720
Speaker 3: to get closer. That week was honestly living heck, having

689
00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:33,920
Speaker 3: to go to a man I truly cared for his

690
00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:36,560
Speaker 3: funeral while his daughter is mad because she thinks that

691
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:37,960
Speaker 3: I'm not proposing.

692
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:39,640
Speaker 2: All the while I am, but I can't tell her

693
00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:41,000
Speaker 2: right now. It sucked.

694
00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:44,480
Speaker 3: However, time went on and then started to get better.

695
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:48,200
Speaker 3: Two weeks after the funeral, two weeks early November, I

696
00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:50,440
Speaker 3: talked to her mom and she helped me develop a

697
00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:51,000
Speaker 3: new plan.

698
00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:54,160
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, you know your girlfriend.

699
00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:57,320
Speaker 3: I had convinced my girlfriend to take the whole week

700
00:32:57,480 --> 00:32:59,720
Speaker 3: of Thanksgiving off, which wasn't hard because she knew the

701
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:01,200
Speaker 3: first holiday without her father.

702
00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:01,760
Speaker 2: Would be really hard.

703
00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:04,680
Speaker 3: So I took her on a surprise trip, which was

704
00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:08,200
Speaker 3: our original mountain trip just later. Our plan was to

705
00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:10,960
Speaker 3: leave Sunday evening and return Wednesday in time to help

706
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:14,120
Speaker 3: her family prep for Thanksgiving. So I decided that Sunday

707
00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:16,720
Speaker 3: was my day. Her mom took her out all day

708
00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:19,000
Speaker 3: to help her get ready for our little getaway aka

709
00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:19,680
Speaker 3: distract her.

710
00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:21,640
Speaker 2: I started setting up my proposal.

711
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:24,680
Speaker 3: I first took screenshots of all the conversations her dad

712
00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:27,200
Speaker 3: and I had via text about the engagement and printed

713
00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:27,520
Speaker 3: them out.

714
00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:31,880
Speaker 2: Yes, I was holding. Yes, I was actually able to

715
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:35,320
Speaker 2: turn it into fifteen individual screenshots of conversation, so I

716
00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:36,720
Speaker 2: made them into a little book.

717
00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:39,920
Speaker 3: I also included the picture that I took with him

718
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:41,480
Speaker 3: the day I asked for his blessing, and the.

719
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:44,959
Speaker 2: Two pictures I had of us three altogether. I was

720
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:48,400
Speaker 2: literally got us like suggest that he make them into

721
00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:50,920
Speaker 2: like a little scrap that's so cute. I was just

722
00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:52,560
Speaker 2: thinking printed out and like put him on the wall.

723
00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:55,480
Speaker 2: But this is much better idea. This is really sweet.

724
00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:57,720
Speaker 3: I packed our bags for the trip and decorated the

725
00:33:57,760 --> 00:34:00,320
Speaker 3: house in flowers and balloons, so she knew something was

726
00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:02,360
Speaker 3: up as soon as she opened the door. When she

727
00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:04,840
Speaker 3: opened the door, she looked shocked and a little confused,

728
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:07,160
Speaker 3: even more confused when I handed her a book and

729
00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:07,800
Speaker 3: didn't get.

730
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:10,840
Speaker 2: Down on one knee all I had initially.

731
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:12,319
Speaker 3: Intended to get down on one knee while she read

732
00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:15,360
Speaker 3: through our conversations, but she started crying pretty hard and

733
00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:17,000
Speaker 3: took the book to the couch in the living room,

734
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:18,800
Speaker 3: where I just kind of scooped her up and hug

735
00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:19,920
Speaker 3: and asked her.

736
00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:27,839
Speaker 2: To marry me. Sweet is so sweet. I had to

737
00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:30,280
Speaker 2: awkwardly fish the ring out of my pocket. We didn't

738
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:33,480
Speaker 2: have the magical getting down on way. It was magical, though.

739
00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:36,920
Speaker 3: But through her tears, she shook her head yes and

740
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:39,840
Speaker 3: hugged me, which I thought was even better than expected.

741
00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:43,560
Speaker 3: Once she regained her composure, she told me how excited

742
00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:45,680
Speaker 3: she was, but asked if I would mind if we

743
00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:47,799
Speaker 3: waited till Monday morning to go to the mountains because

744
00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:49,680
Speaker 3: she wants to show her mom and brother the book

745
00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:50,160
Speaker 3: and the ring.

746
00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:52,480
Speaker 2: I didn't care at all, and we ended up spending

747
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:54,279
Speaker 2: the night at her mom's house. See that this is

748
00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:56,200
Speaker 2: why I didn't think you should do it the day

749
00:34:56,239 --> 00:34:56,920
Speaker 2: that you're leaving.

750
00:34:57,200 --> 00:34:59,720
Speaker 3: We left Monday and had an amazing church to the mountains,

751
00:34:59,719 --> 00:35:01,600
Speaker 3: and she tried to hit all of her dad suggested

752
00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:04,520
Speaker 3: proposal spots while we were there and stat picks, even

753
00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:06,520
Speaker 3: though the weather was a lot colder than when our

754
00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:09,680
Speaker 3: initial trip was planned. We had an amazing Thanksgiving with

755
00:35:09,719 --> 00:35:12,440
Speaker 3: our families, and now we cannot wait to start wedding planning.

756
00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:15,160
Speaker 3: She decided that she no longer wants to get married

757
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:17,080
Speaker 3: next October, and I obviously understood.

758
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:20,200
Speaker 2: Our wedding day is still TVD, but I couldn't be happier.

759
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:26,920
Speaker 2: We have one comment. There's a downvoted comment. Actually this

760
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:29,600
Speaker 2: might have been before this update too. I don't know

761
00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:30,160
Speaker 2: her reaction.

762
00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:32,479
Speaker 3: To blame me for not proposing her and then giving

763
00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:34,399
Speaker 3: you the cold shoulder for weeks is not a good sign.

764
00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:38,320
Speaker 2: Oh my god, this person is like crazy. She literally

765
00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:39,480
Speaker 2: just lost her father.

766
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:44,439
Speaker 3: I know, yes, she was dealing with her unexpected loss,

767
00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:46,600
Speaker 3: but not everyone's first reaction is to get angry with

768
00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:47,960
Speaker 3: our partner and put yeah way.

769
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:52,040
Speaker 2: Not everyone. Everyone deals with grief differently grief.

770
00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:54,759
Speaker 3: There are many people who deal with their loss in

771
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:56,960
Speaker 3: a much more mature and not her ways.

772
00:35:57,360 --> 00:35:58,520
Speaker 2: Just putting this out there.

773
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:01,080
Speaker 3: I doubt it will change any because OP and fiance

774
00:36:01,239 --> 00:36:03,440
Speaker 3: are currently happy, but something to be cautious of in

775
00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:05,520
Speaker 3: the future when life obstacles get thrown her way.

776
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:09,440
Speaker 2: Just be careful. Congratulations on the engagement. That person sucks

777
00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:12,400
Speaker 2: and there is an edit. It's a lovely way to propose,

778
00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:16,040
Speaker 2: by the way. But by the way, there's one ale

779
00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:18,760
Speaker 2: in the story, and it's that comment. It's cute.

780
00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:21,520
Speaker 3: Oh Pi responds, though, totally get why that would seem

781
00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:22,960
Speaker 3: like not a good sign. But her dad was her

782
00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:25,160
Speaker 3: best friend, and I'm glad to be her a one

783
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:27,480
Speaker 3: do wing bag if she needs to let her grief out.

784
00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:30,120
Speaker 3: I know that's not who she is as a person,

785
00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:33,640
Speaker 3: but definitely get the concern. Thanks for the advice and congratulations.

786
00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:34,840
Speaker 2: Oh he's so nice.

787
00:36:35,719 --> 00:36:39,080
Speaker 3: This commentary is responding to Opie adding the pictures to

788
00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:39,480
Speaker 3: the book.

789
00:36:39,760 --> 00:36:41,239
Speaker 2: Wow, you hit it out of the park.

790
00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:44,200
Speaker 3: Amazing, So happy for you and your new fiance. That

791
00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:48,000
Speaker 3: book sounds so touching in all the photos. Wonderful. Oh,

792
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:50,719
Speaker 3: he responds, thank you, thank you. I wish you could

793
00:36:50,719 --> 00:36:54,200
Speaker 3: see the awkward old people blue apps style selviy that

794
00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:56,600
Speaker 3: he made us take the day I asked. I'm so

795
00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:58,799
Speaker 3: grateful he did, but I still laugh a bit when

796
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:00,160
Speaker 3: I see it.

797
00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:01,160
Speaker 2: And that is the end of that one. Our foot

798
00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:02,040
Speaker 2: really lovely.

799
00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:04,480
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to these stories.

800
00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:07,279
Speaker 2: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. My

801
00:37:07,480 --> 00:37:11,240
Speaker 2: neighbor said, my girlfriend kept him up at night while

802
00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:12,320
Speaker 2: I was out of state.

803
00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:14,920
Speaker 5: He messed it up. You gotta do it again.

804
00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:18,400
Speaker 2: My girlfriend, Kay and I have been dating for about

805
00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:21,240
Speaker 2: three years and we currently live together in my apartment.

806
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:24,280
Speaker 2: We both work in the same industry, which sometimes requires

807
00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:26,799
Speaker 2: us to travel. Kay usually lets me know if she

808
00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:29,279
Speaker 2: has people over whenever I'm out of town, and I

809
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:31,399
Speaker 2: have done the same for her too. By the way,

810
00:37:31,440 --> 00:37:33,520
Speaker 2: this comes from deleted and if you would to smit

811
00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:36,360
Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the arslage. Okay, storytime, separate it.

812
00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:39,920
Speaker 2: I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota, I'm Keon, and we're here to

813
00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:42,520
Speaker 2: give good advice. Goofully, but we don't have all the answers.

814
00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:44,640
Speaker 2: We only know what we'd do, So let us know

815
00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:46,719
Speaker 2: what you would do in the comments. This morning, I

816
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:50,120
Speaker 2: ran into my downstairs neighbor, who awkwardly asked me to

817
00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:53,080
Speaker 2: tone it down because he could hear us having spicy

818
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:55,799
Speaker 2: sleep from his apartment. I apologized and told him it

819
00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:58,040
Speaker 2: would not happen again, and he thanked me since it

820
00:37:58,120 --> 00:37:59,919
Speaker 2: was keeping him up at night for the past couple

821
00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:02,840
Speaker 2: I got confused since I just got back from an

822
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:06,439
Speaker 2: out of state project that took several weeks, and he

823
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:09,080
Speaker 2: confirmed the noises had been going on for a while

824
00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:12,440
Speaker 2: during that time away. Kay never said she had anyone

825
00:38:12,440 --> 00:38:15,719
Speaker 2: over and was mostly going out instead. I think she

826
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:18,720
Speaker 2: might be cheating on me. Before Ka, I had another

827
00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:21,840
Speaker 2: girlfriend who cheated on me oof because my brother found

828
00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:24,600
Speaker 2: out and told me, and when I immediately confronted my AX,

829
00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:28,080
Speaker 2: she first denied but later confessed. However, when we broke up,

830
00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:31,040
Speaker 2: she and her friends who knew about her cheating, lied

831
00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:33,960
Speaker 2: and said I was the one who cheated, and everyone

832
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:36,120
Speaker 2: believed her since it was just me and my brother's

833
00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:39,400
Speaker 2: words against hers, until one of her friends felt guilty

834
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:42,080
Speaker 2: and revealed the truth. That incident messed me up for

835
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:45,040
Speaker 2: a while and made me swear off any relationships until

836
00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:46,919
Speaker 2: I met Kay. Kay and I met a few months

837
00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:49,359
Speaker 2: after I moved here from across the country for work,

838
00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:52,080
Speaker 2: and she has been everything to me. She knows about

839
00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:54,680
Speaker 2: my AX and agreed that cheating would be a deal breaker,

840
00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:58,120
Speaker 2: but the possibility of her cheating is torturing me. Not

841
00:38:58,280 --> 00:39:01,080
Speaker 2: just for having my heart and trust open again, but

842
00:39:01,160 --> 00:39:04,040
Speaker 2: I feel like a complete idiot for being this naive.

843
00:39:04,920 --> 00:39:05,560
Speaker 5: It's not your thing.

844
00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:09,160
Speaker 2: Since that morning, I felt really sick and just went

845
00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:11,279
Speaker 2: back to bed. Okay is out right now and does

846
00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:14,760
Speaker 2: not know I'm home. I do not have definite proof

847
00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:17,600
Speaker 2: she's been cheating. My only word is my neighbors, and

848
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:19,920
Speaker 2: I have no reason not to trust him since he's

849
00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:21,920
Speaker 2: always been a pretty nice guy, and this was the

850
00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:24,360
Speaker 2: first time he's ever complained. I feel like if I

851
00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:27,160
Speaker 2: confront her now without proof, she'll pull the same thing

852
00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:29,560
Speaker 2: my exit did. I really hope that I'm just being

853
00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:32,080
Speaker 2: paranoid and she never cheated, But I feel like a

854
00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:35,560
Speaker 2: horrible person for not trusting her and jumping to conclusions.

855
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:37,759
Speaker 2: What should I do confront her now?

856
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:38,560
Speaker 5: Or wait?

857
00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:40,839
Speaker 2: If I do confront her, what is the best way

858
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:42,400
Speaker 2: to do so? And there is an update?

859
00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:45,120
Speaker 4: Do it by surprise and you go, dude, the landlord

860
00:39:45,239 --> 00:39:47,719
Speaker 4: told me that, Yeah, we had to tone down the

861
00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:50,240
Speaker 4: spicy time because he was so loud.

862
00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:53,000
Speaker 5: I've been gone for weeks. Yeah, so what's that about?

863
00:39:53,120 --> 00:39:53,640
Speaker 2: What's that mean?

864
00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:57,239
Speaker 4: And if she fumbles for one second, then you know

865
00:39:57,280 --> 00:39:57,959
Speaker 4: that she's lying.

866
00:39:58,200 --> 00:40:00,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it'd be pretty telling, because that.

867
00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:02,040
Speaker 5: Should immediately be like a you know.

868
00:40:02,120 --> 00:40:03,960
Speaker 4: The only other thing is if it's like there's some

869
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:05,319
Speaker 4: people in the comments being like.

870
00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:08,680
Speaker 5: What if it was just some little solow term and

871
00:40:08,719 --> 00:40:09,319
Speaker 5: she would go.

872
00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:12,440
Speaker 4: Oh my god, are you serious? Oh that's so that

873
00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:14,239
Speaker 4: is I'm so embarrassing.

874
00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:16,840
Speaker 2: Well, well good, we're gonna find out. We're going to

875
00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:19,080
Speaker 2: find out out all the accessibles are.

876
00:40:18,960 --> 00:40:22,680
Speaker 5: Not always an indicator of performance quality.

877
00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:25,640
Speaker 2: So I was originally going to hint to her about

878
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:29,080
Speaker 2: what Dan, our neighbor downstairs said about hearing some spicy

879
00:40:29,120 --> 00:40:31,640
Speaker 2: sleep noises during the week, but as some suggested, that

880
00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:34,200
Speaker 2: might tip her off, so I came up with something different.

881
00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:36,759
Speaker 2: I texted her earlier in the afternoon that I was

882
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:39,160
Speaker 2: not going to be home until after midnight, but I

883
00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:40,960
Speaker 2: waited at home to see if she would bring anyone

884
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:42,960
Speaker 2: with her while I was gone. She came home just

885
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:45,520
Speaker 2: by herself, but she was startled to see me, although

886
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:47,440
Speaker 2: she said it was because she did not see me

887
00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:50,040
Speaker 2: on the couch. I told her I finished work earlier

888
00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:52,800
Speaker 2: than expected in my phone just passed away. I tried

889
00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:54,840
Speaker 2: looking at her phone while she was in the shower,

890
00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:57,319
Speaker 2: but there was a passcode on there. Some people were

891
00:40:57,360 --> 00:41:00,600
Speaker 2: also suggesting she might have been watching Corn or another

892
00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:03,120
Speaker 2: adult show. I did not want to answer earlier, but

893
00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:05,600
Speaker 2: it might be a possibility, since both of us watch

894
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:08,319
Speaker 2: Corn usually together and we both do not have any

895
00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:10,560
Speaker 2: problem with the other watching on her own. I asked

896
00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:12,520
Speaker 2: if she watched anything while I was away, and she

897
00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:16,280
Speaker 2: said yes and wanted to know if I was interested tonight,

898
00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:18,719
Speaker 2: so I guess that made sense. I did not mention

899
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:22,480
Speaker 2: Dan hearing the noises, but still it could not have

900
00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:25,840
Speaker 2: been that loud enough to disturb Dan since we have

901
00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:28,520
Speaker 2: always watched it in the bedroom. The only place where

902
00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:31,799
Speaker 2: he could hear loud noises would be our living room,

903
00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:34,040
Speaker 2: where we do not play it. So despite her being

904
00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:37,319
Speaker 2: really startled seeing me tonight, Kay has not acted out

905
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:39,800
Speaker 2: of the ordinary, and she gave me an answer without

906
00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:44,160
Speaker 2: me tipping her off. But something feels off. I cannot

907
00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:47,160
Speaker 2: really sleep since this whole thing has been keeping me up,

908
00:41:47,640 --> 00:41:51,000
Speaker 2: and I still feel like she's hiding something. As much

909
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:52,960
Speaker 2: as I hate to do this, I might get a

910
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:55,160
Speaker 2: couple of cheap cameras around the apartment to see if

911
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:57,520
Speaker 2: she brings anyone home while I'm out again. And there

912
00:41:57,560 --> 00:42:00,360
Speaker 2: is a second update. I hate the idea of film

913
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:03,840
Speaker 2: putting cameras in your house and filming her without her consents.

914
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:05,719
Speaker 1: Ye, not a good instead of just.

915
00:42:05,719 --> 00:42:08,680
Speaker 2: Bringing up like she might lie, but she also know.

916
00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:11,640
Speaker 1: This is where you this is where you actually talked

917
00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:14,000
Speaker 1: to Dan, your neighbor, and be like, hey man, I

918
00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:15,280
Speaker 1: wasn't home for several weeks.

919
00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:16,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, can you tell me what you heard?

920
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:19,160
Speaker 1: Yeah? I don't want. I don't want to. I don't

921
00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:21,680
Speaker 1: want to jump to conclusions, but can we work together here?

922
00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:24,440
Speaker 1: Like if you hear that again and I'm like, you know,

923
00:42:24,480 --> 00:42:26,520
Speaker 1: I'm going to just kind of figure out the schedule here,

924
00:42:26,840 --> 00:42:27,319
Speaker 1: let me know.

925
00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:29,960
Speaker 4: You could like employ him and be like, you know,

926
00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:32,200
Speaker 4: I'm gonna say I'm going out of town for another thing.

927
00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:34,960
Speaker 4: You know, let me know if this happens again, or

928
00:42:34,960 --> 00:42:38,160
Speaker 4: if you know there's someone coming around because I wasn't

929
00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:38,839
Speaker 4: here my guy.

930
00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:40,960
Speaker 2: As much as I hate to do this, I might

931
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:43,000
Speaker 2: get a couple cheap cameras around the apartment to see

932
00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:44,799
Speaker 2: if she brings anyone home while I'm out again. And

933
00:42:44,840 --> 00:42:46,960
Speaker 2: there is a second update. The next morning, I ran

934
00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:49,640
Speaker 2: into Dan again while Kay was out for work. He

935
00:42:49,680 --> 00:42:52,080
Speaker 2: apologized for the weird exchange and I told him it

936
00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:54,359
Speaker 2: was fine, but I was still curious and asked him

937
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:56,799
Speaker 2: what exactly he heard and when it happened, so that

938
00:42:56,840 --> 00:42:59,680
Speaker 2: it would not happen again. Dan was more comfortable this time,

939
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:01,960
Speaker 2: told me that it was a combination of loud moans

940
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:05,080
Speaker 2: and yeses and furniture being moved around, not just in

941
00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:07,239
Speaker 2: the area where our bedroom is, but also in our

942
00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:09,800
Speaker 2: living room, and they happened on and off past midnight.

943
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:12,080
Speaker 2: I asked if he heard anything on the night I

944
00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:14,879
Speaker 2: came home, since Kay and I had spicy sleep that night,

945
00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:17,120
Speaker 2: and he said he did not. My heart sank when

946
00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:19,800
Speaker 2: he said that. I was just so shocked that I

947
00:43:19,920 --> 00:43:23,160
Speaker 2: kept mumbling, but I just go home. Then night Dan

948
00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:26,960
Speaker 2: put two and two together and started apologizing to me profusely.

949
00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:28,879
Speaker 2: He apparently did not know that I had been out

950
00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:30,920
Speaker 2: for weeks, and when he first addressed this to me,

951
00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:32,920
Speaker 2: I thought he was only talking about the night I

952
00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:35,080
Speaker 2: came back. I told him everything, and he said he

953
00:43:35,120 --> 00:43:38,560
Speaker 2: felt awful that Cay might be cheating on me. He

954
00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:41,360
Speaker 2: swore he never saw Kay with anyone in the weeks

955
00:43:41,400 --> 00:43:43,360
Speaker 2: I was gone, and when he interacted with her, she

956
00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:46,160
Speaker 2: never indicated that I was out. Dan promised he would

957
00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:48,680
Speaker 2: keep an eye out and let me know of anything suspicious,

958
00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:51,239
Speaker 2: and if I needed anything, he would be there for me.

959
00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:54,800
Speaker 5: Shout out Dan, He's a great kisser. Okay may cheat

960
00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:56,600
Speaker 5: on your don't do it. Don't do that.

961
00:43:56,680 --> 00:43:59,480
Speaker 2: Don't do that. Based on what Dan said, Kay was

962
00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:03,560
Speaker 2: death not watch in Corn. But whenever we had spicy sleep,

963
00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:06,359
Speaker 2: it was typically before midnight or in the morning. Never

964
00:44:06,480 --> 00:44:09,239
Speaker 2: passed midnight. Part of me wanted to confront her immediately

965
00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:11,560
Speaker 2: or throw her things out of my apartment. It's not

966
00:44:11,719 --> 00:44:14,480
Speaker 2: under her name, but she splits expenses with me and

967
00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:17,799
Speaker 2: changed the locks. But I still have no proof other

968
00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:21,040
Speaker 2: than just ann for the advice given in the previous threat,

969
00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:23,200
Speaker 2: I am planning on getting cameras and putting them around

970
00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:25,680
Speaker 2: places where she probably cannot see them. The only problem

971
00:44:25,760 --> 00:44:27,879
Speaker 2: is trying to schedule a time where I could be out.

972
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:30,160
Speaker 2: We both work in the same industry and the projects

973
00:44:30,160 --> 00:44:33,000
Speaker 2: we work on are pretty public. She's currently working on

974
00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:35,120
Speaker 2: one that is local. Well, my next one is not

975
00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:38,040
Speaker 2: for a couple weeks, but that's also local. I could

976
00:44:38,120 --> 00:44:40,319
Speaker 2: not tell any of my friends this, so I called

977
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:44,080
Speaker 2: my brother instead, and of course he is livid. He

978
00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:47,200
Speaker 2: and my family really loved Kay, and he was outraged

979
00:44:47,239 --> 00:44:49,960
Speaker 2: on my behalf. He suggested what everyone else said and

980
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:52,120
Speaker 2: get cameras, but when I told them she was going

981
00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:54,239
Speaker 2: to be out frequently and I was going to be home,

982
00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:57,880
Speaker 2: he believes she could be seeing her cheating partner outside

983
00:44:57,880 --> 00:45:01,720
Speaker 2: of my apartment and volunteered to fly out and tailor

984
00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:04,160
Speaker 2: for me, which I immediately said no to. He has

985
00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:07,319
Speaker 2: always been really hot headed and abrasive, and my ex

986
00:45:07,440 --> 00:45:09,600
Speaker 2: before K was able to use that against him when

987
00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:11,640
Speaker 2: he caught her with her cheating partner.

988
00:45:11,719 --> 00:45:13,839
Speaker 5: I think, okay, we're doing so much.

989
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:16,720
Speaker 4: This is just like to be like front her, babe.

990
00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:18,880
Speaker 4: I have a question, what would you do if I

991
00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:21,040
Speaker 4: was cheating on you? Like would you how would you

992
00:45:21,040 --> 00:45:22,800
Speaker 4: feel if I was cheating on you? And then whenever

993
00:45:22,840 --> 00:45:24,279
Speaker 4: she goes you'd be like, oh my god, I'd be

994
00:45:24,360 --> 00:45:26,799
Speaker 4: like I'd be like that's wrong. I'd be like sad,

995
00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:27,319
Speaker 4: and then you.

996
00:45:27,239 --> 00:45:29,680
Speaker 2: Go, oh great, So why did you do that to me?

997
00:45:29,840 --> 00:45:31,759
Speaker 5: Then why did If that's how you feel, why did

998
00:45:31,800 --> 00:45:32,520
Speaker 5: you do that to me?

999
00:45:32,800 --> 00:45:35,359
Speaker 2: At the end of the day, you just gotta confront her,

1000
00:45:35,560 --> 00:45:37,440
Speaker 2: and then confront her and break up with her. And

1001
00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:38,920
Speaker 2: there we go talking about you.

1002
00:45:39,440 --> 00:45:42,480
Speaker 4: I literally heard you rearrange the furniture so you could

1003
00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:43,600
Speaker 4: get up in your gut.

1004
00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:46,440
Speaker 5: So I'm gonna go out and find a new lady.

1005
00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:48,839
Speaker 2: And by the time I come back, I hope you're

1006
00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:50,279
Speaker 2: gone because we're going.

1007
00:45:50,200 --> 00:45:53,800
Speaker 5: To use the furniture tonight. Oh and you probably won't

1008
00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:54,239
Speaker 5: like it.

1009
00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:57,719
Speaker 2: Then he tried convincing me to hire a PI, but

1010
00:45:57,800 --> 00:46:00,520
Speaker 2: I was not really comfortable with that idea. Money is

1011
00:46:00,560 --> 00:46:02,759
Speaker 2: not the issue, just more like I felt it was

1012
00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:05,319
Speaker 2: too extreme. I told him not to tell anyone, and

1013
00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:08,040
Speaker 2: he reluctantly agreed. I just do not know how to

1014
00:46:08,080 --> 00:46:11,520
Speaker 2: process this. The thought of Kay bringing some guy home

1015
00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:13,520
Speaker 2: to sleep with on my bed and all over my

1016
00:46:13,640 --> 00:46:16,280
Speaker 2: living room after all I told her about my cheating

1017
00:46:16,320 --> 00:46:18,840
Speaker 2: ex has taken a huge mental poll on me.

1018
00:46:19,160 --> 00:46:21,640
Speaker 5: Us. You got to reclaim, You got to reclaim.

1019
00:46:21,440 --> 00:46:25,640
Speaker 4: Take up with her, reclaim your dominance in the room

1020
00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:26,719
Speaker 4: like an alpha.

1021
00:46:27,040 --> 00:46:29,560
Speaker 2: Was she taking advantage of me this whole time? Is

1022
00:46:29,600 --> 00:46:31,799
Speaker 2: it someone from her circle of friends who I've never

1023
00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:35,279
Speaker 2: really clicked well with but always got along fine, or

1024
00:46:35,360 --> 00:46:38,440
Speaker 2: someone I've never met before. Honestly, when we first started dating,

1025
00:46:38,440 --> 00:46:40,200
Speaker 2: I always felt that she was out of my league.

1026
00:46:40,480 --> 00:46:43,760
Speaker 2: Kay is so beautiful and jubilant, and I have always

1027
00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:46,080
Speaker 2: been kind of shy and reserved. She's helped me get

1028
00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:48,160
Speaker 2: out of my depression with my ex and help me

1029
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:50,359
Speaker 2: adjust to the city we live in after moving from

1030
00:46:50,360 --> 00:46:53,080
Speaker 2: across the country. Why would you do this to me?

1031
00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:56,480
Speaker 2: It really shocked having to lie when she got home

1032
00:46:56,560 --> 00:46:59,080
Speaker 2: last night and asked me how I was feeling, and

1033
00:46:59,160 --> 00:47:01,480
Speaker 2: telling her that I was fine. She does not seem

1034
00:47:01,520 --> 00:47:04,759
Speaker 2: to suspect anything, and she acts like nothing happen, and

1035
00:47:04,800 --> 00:47:06,360
Speaker 2: that's the end of the story.

1036
00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:11,160
Speaker 5: My fiance called my tattoos trashy, so I canceled the wedding.

1037
00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:12,880
Speaker 1: Your fiance's trashy.

1038
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:15,759
Speaker 4: This feels like an absolutely stupid situation, but I just

1039
00:47:15,800 --> 00:47:16,680
Speaker 4: need some perspective.

1040
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:21,160
Speaker 5: I'm thirty two. My soon to be x I guess possibly.

1041
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:23,600
Speaker 4: Is twenty nine, and we've been together for almost six

1042
00:47:23,719 --> 00:47:27,000
Speaker 4: years now, and I have been tattooed this entire time.

1043
00:47:27,040 --> 00:47:29,200
Speaker 4: I got my first tattoo at seventeen and I never

1044
00:47:29,239 --> 00:47:31,920
Speaker 4: really stopped. They're all very visible, and I'm pretty much

1045
00:47:31,960 --> 00:47:34,440
Speaker 4: tatted everywhere but my face. By the way, this comes

1046
00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:36,360
Speaker 4: from used to throw away tattoo prov and if you

1047
00:47:36,360 --> 00:47:38,000
Speaker 4: want usbmit your own stories, go to the r slash

1048
00:47:38,040 --> 00:47:41,400
Speaker 4: okay storytime sub breddit. I'm Dakota, I'm Keon, and we

1049
00:47:41,440 --> 00:47:43,200
Speaker 4: are here to give you good advice goofully, but we

1050
00:47:43,239 --> 00:47:45,319
Speaker 4: don't have all the answers, so if you would do

1051
00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:47,360
Speaker 4: something different from us, just let us know in the comments.

1052
00:47:47,400 --> 00:47:49,319
Speaker 4: I have a good job, I mean good money. I'm

1053
00:47:49,320 --> 00:47:51,399
Speaker 4: a good guy, even if that's maybe weird to say.

1054
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:53,920
Speaker 4: About myself, and my partner has always had good things

1055
00:47:53,960 --> 00:47:58,000
Speaker 4: to say about these things. However, apparently she secretly hates

1056
00:47:58,040 --> 00:48:00,520
Speaker 4: my tattoos or something. I came home early a week

1057
00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:02,520
Speaker 4: ago and her mom was at our place, as she

1058
00:48:02,640 --> 00:48:05,279
Speaker 4: often is, but they clearly didn't hear me come in,

1059
00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:08,479
Speaker 4: and they were talking about me. I'm not the type

1060
00:48:08,480 --> 00:48:11,239
Speaker 4: to eavesdrop, but it didn't sound great, so I did.

1061
00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:14,320
Speaker 4: And to make a long story short, my literal fiance

1062
00:48:14,840 --> 00:48:16,920
Speaker 4: was complaining to her mom about how she was worried

1063
00:48:16,920 --> 00:48:18,880
Speaker 4: about how my neck and hand tattoos would look in

1064
00:48:18,960 --> 00:48:22,279
Speaker 4: pictures and how they looked trashy and not elegant. And

1065
00:48:22,320 --> 00:48:25,320
Speaker 4: I don't have any back alley tattoos. All my stuff

1066
00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:27,719
Speaker 4: is well done. My first tattoo at seventeen cost me

1067
00:48:27,800 --> 00:48:31,280
Speaker 4: three thousand dollars shit that I saved up for multiple

1068
00:48:31,320 --> 00:48:33,720
Speaker 4: summers as a kid. And I've always had a vision,

1069
00:48:33,840 --> 00:48:35,760
Speaker 4: so it's not like I'm covered in crap.

1070
00:48:35,840 --> 00:48:37,560
Speaker 5: I was just so effing shocked.

1071
00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:40,520
Speaker 4: Sorry, you didn't think to mention this to me in

1072
00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:42,880
Speaker 4: the six years we've been together.

1073
00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:44,000
Speaker 5: When I proposed to you.

1074
00:48:44,200 --> 00:48:48,320
Speaker 4: Throughout the entire wedding planning, I got very, very angry.

1075
00:48:48,320 --> 00:48:48,600
Speaker 5: The more.

1076
00:48:48,640 --> 00:48:50,560
Speaker 4: I listened, but I don't like to be a yeller,

1077
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:53,239
Speaker 4: so I had to regroup first, for sure. But it

1078
00:48:53,280 --> 00:48:55,759
Speaker 4: was a short interaction, to be honest, I just went

1079
00:48:55,800 --> 00:48:57,560
Speaker 4: into the room and was like, if you think I'm

1080
00:48:57,600 --> 00:48:59,279
Speaker 4: so trashy, then you don't have to marry me.

1081
00:48:59,680 --> 00:49:00,600
Speaker 5: And then I just left.

1082
00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:02,480
Speaker 4: I've been staying at my brother's place all week, and

1083
00:49:02,520 --> 00:49:05,719
Speaker 4: of course my fiance and her family have been contacting me,

1084
00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:07,879
Speaker 4: but I've kind of just.

1085
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:08,640
Speaker 5: Let them go.

1086
00:49:08,880 --> 00:49:12,759
Speaker 4: It feels wrong to get so bothered by something seemingly insignificant, but.

1087
00:49:12,719 --> 00:49:14,400
Speaker 5: I feel like I've seen a part of her. I

1088
00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:17,239
Speaker 5: can't look past. Am I the ahle? Or would I

1089
00:49:17,280 --> 00:49:17,839
Speaker 5: be the A hole?

1090
00:49:17,840 --> 00:49:21,359
Speaker 4: If I call the relationship off completely? Comment one says

1091
00:49:21,360 --> 00:49:25,480
Speaker 4: you're not overreacting. The issue isn't just that she dislikes tattoos.

1092
00:49:25,520 --> 00:49:28,080
Speaker 4: It's that she's hidden her real feelings for six years

1093
00:49:28,440 --> 00:49:31,040
Speaker 4: and only expressed them behind your back. That is a

1094
00:49:31,080 --> 00:49:34,360
Speaker 4: breach of emotional honesty and that shakes the foundation of trust.

1095
00:49:34,560 --> 00:49:38,520
Speaker 4: Or comments weren't about aesthetics. They revealed judgment and possible

1096
00:49:38,560 --> 00:49:42,120
Speaker 4: shame about how you represent her publicly. That's not something

1097
00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:45,560
Speaker 4: to brush off before marriage. Reply says, this all of

1098
00:49:45,560 --> 00:49:48,399
Speaker 4: this as someone with tattoos, this would be a deal

1099
00:49:48,440 --> 00:49:49,000
Speaker 4: breaker for me.

1100
00:49:49,040 --> 00:49:51,160
Speaker 5: There are plenty of tattoo free fish in the sea.

1101
00:49:51,239 --> 00:49:52,960
Speaker 4: Why even date me in the first place if you

1102
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:56,279
Speaker 4: hate tattoos or A reply says, it hasn't been a

1103
00:49:56,320 --> 00:49:59,160
Speaker 4: big enough deal to ever bring up because everything else

1104
00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:01,120
Speaker 4: in the relationship is fine, and she.

1105
00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:02,960
Speaker 5: Took one little pet peeve.

1106
00:50:03,040 --> 00:50:05,759
Speaker 4: She doesn't think about that often invented about it with

1107
00:50:05,800 --> 00:50:08,960
Speaker 4: someone else. Reply says little things we ignore and don't

1108
00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:11,239
Speaker 4: communicate for the sake of our partner build up over

1109
00:50:11,280 --> 00:50:14,640
Speaker 4: time and stop being little things and become a festering

1110
00:50:14,719 --> 00:50:18,040
Speaker 4: sore spot for the relationship. Comment two says, like so

1111
00:50:18,120 --> 00:50:20,279
Speaker 4: many posts here, is there a reason you can't just

1112
00:50:20,320 --> 00:50:23,120
Speaker 4: start with a conversation with her first? A reply says,

1113
00:50:23,200 --> 00:50:24,720
Speaker 4: I think it's fair to try to get an outside

1114
00:50:24,719 --> 00:50:27,480
Speaker 4: perspective and make sure you're seeing clearly before bringing up

1115
00:50:27,480 --> 00:50:29,279
Speaker 4: an obviously emotional topic with.

1116
00:50:29,239 --> 00:50:29,680
Speaker 5: Your so O.

1117
00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:31,920
Speaker 4: A good half of the fights Hobby and I had

1118
00:50:31,920 --> 00:50:34,320
Speaker 4: at the beginning of our relationship could have been prevented

1119
00:50:34,360 --> 00:50:36,920
Speaker 4: with some outside perspective before we tried to talk about it.

1120
00:50:36,960 --> 00:50:39,120
Speaker 4: I'm not saying you should share your business with everyone

1121
00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:41,040
Speaker 4: you know before talking to your fiance.

1122
00:50:41,520 --> 00:50:43,080
Speaker 5: The opposite, do not do that.

1123
00:50:43,320 --> 00:50:45,680
Speaker 4: It will not be remotely helpful and can damage their

1124
00:50:45,680 --> 00:50:48,640
Speaker 4: relationship with the people you know. But getting an anonymous

1125
00:50:48,680 --> 00:50:50,920
Speaker 4: opinion about it in case there's an angle you're not

1126
00:50:50,960 --> 00:50:53,759
Speaker 4: seeing can be very helpful. A reply says, I mean,

1127
00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:55,839
Speaker 4: she had six years to start a conversation about them

1128
00:50:55,880 --> 00:50:58,520
Speaker 4: to ope and didn't reply. I don't think she would

1129
00:50:58,520 --> 00:51:00,640
Speaker 4: have ever dated the dude or gotten game if she

1130
00:51:00,680 --> 00:51:01,920
Speaker 4: truly hated the tattoos.

1131
00:51:02,200 --> 00:51:03,600
Speaker 5: It's possible she could have just.

1132
00:51:03,600 --> 00:51:05,520
Speaker 4: Said that in front of her mom because her mom

1133
00:51:05,560 --> 00:51:07,839
Speaker 4: doesn't like them. Just effing talk to her and see

1134
00:51:07,840 --> 00:51:08,880
Speaker 4: how she explains herself.

1135
00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:09,680
Speaker 5: And there's an update.

1136
00:51:09,760 --> 00:51:12,279
Speaker 1: I have the conversation, and hopefully it's a good one.

1137
00:51:12,320 --> 00:51:15,920
Speaker 1: I don't know. We hear at okay storytime, we're I

1138
00:51:15,920 --> 00:51:18,279
Speaker 1: feel like we're the only two who have tattoos. If

1139
00:51:18,280 --> 00:51:20,359
Speaker 1: our partners were like I feel like our partners would

1140
00:51:20,360 --> 00:51:22,200
Speaker 1: be upfront with us, like the tattoos kind of dumb.

1141
00:51:22,320 --> 00:51:23,359
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think they would.

1142
00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:26,040
Speaker 4: It's been a day now, and I appreciate all the

1143
00:51:26,080 --> 00:51:28,640
Speaker 4: comments from my last post. I was somewhat acting like

1144
00:51:28,680 --> 00:51:31,520
Speaker 4: an a hole, and I recognize that I'm just really

1145
00:51:31,520 --> 00:51:33,759
Speaker 4: not a person who's great with my emotions. I don't know.

1146
00:51:34,239 --> 00:51:36,399
Speaker 4: I don't think I realized how upset I am about

1147
00:51:36,440 --> 00:51:37,600
Speaker 4: it a little context.

1148
00:51:37,640 --> 00:51:39,680
Speaker 5: But I'm not a small guy by any means.

1149
00:51:39,760 --> 00:51:42,719
Speaker 4: I'm six or five, I weigh three hundred pounds, I

1150
00:51:42,880 --> 00:51:45,839
Speaker 4: work out and have muscle, I have a lot of tattoos.

1151
00:51:45,880 --> 00:51:47,640
Speaker 5: Like I said, I've always been.

1152
00:51:47,560 --> 00:51:49,880
Speaker 4: A confident guy, but I honestly feel like an idiot

1153
00:51:49,920 --> 00:51:54,240
Speaker 4: discovering insecurity for the first time, which is so stupid

1154
00:51:54,239 --> 00:51:55,759
Speaker 4: because I'm literally thirty two.

1155
00:51:55,920 --> 00:51:57,920
Speaker 1: Ah, brother, there's always time to learn something.

1156
00:51:58,120 --> 00:51:58,839
Speaker 5: I'm home now.

1157
00:51:58,920 --> 00:52:00,960
Speaker 4: I went back a couple of hours after I posted

1158
00:52:01,080 --> 00:52:03,600
Speaker 4: It's embarrassing, but to be honest, when I got there

1159
00:52:03,640 --> 00:52:05,920
Speaker 4: and saw her, and it wasn't even intentional, but when

1160
00:52:05,920 --> 00:52:08,000
Speaker 4: I remembered everything, I just started to cry, and I

1161
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:11,239
Speaker 4: haven't really cried like that in a long effing time.

1162
00:52:11,360 --> 00:52:13,920
Speaker 4: It was weird, and I still feel stupid for it,

1163
00:52:13,960 --> 00:52:17,640
Speaker 4: But my fiance was understanding. She reassured me that she's

1164
00:52:17,680 --> 00:52:21,080
Speaker 4: always liked my rugged look and that she's obviously attracted

1165
00:52:21,120 --> 00:52:23,280
Speaker 4: to me, but she and her family and her friends

1166
00:52:23,480 --> 00:52:27,280
Speaker 4: are all set on the elegant black tie fancy wedding,

1167
00:52:27,560 --> 00:52:29,840
Speaker 4: which I don't mind. I let her take the reins

1168
00:52:29,960 --> 00:52:32,120
Speaker 4: on choices because she does have a great eye, and

1169
00:52:32,160 --> 00:52:35,320
Speaker 4: she was just stressed out about it a lot, and

1170
00:52:35,440 --> 00:52:38,040
Speaker 4: that what i'd heard had been started by her mom

1171
00:52:38,080 --> 00:52:41,240
Speaker 4: complaining about how I wouldn't fit into the esthetic or whatever,

1172
00:52:41,719 --> 00:52:43,560
Speaker 4: and then she'd gotten in her head about it, and

1173
00:52:43,640 --> 00:52:46,160
Speaker 4: then she said the crappy things at the time that

1174
00:52:46,239 --> 00:52:48,839
Speaker 4: I just so happened to get home. I don't know

1175
00:52:48,920 --> 00:52:50,640
Speaker 4: if she's telling me the truth or not, and I

1176
00:52:50,640 --> 00:52:52,480
Speaker 4: guess I can never really know. I'm not going to

1177
00:52:52,560 --> 00:52:55,399
Speaker 4: go around prying really hurt, which is a not so

1178
00:52:55,440 --> 00:52:58,080
Speaker 4: familiar feeling. It just really hurts that she didn't stand

1179
00:52:58,160 --> 00:52:59,959
Speaker 4: up for me. I've known many guys in the past

1180
00:53:00,160 --> 00:53:03,000
Speaker 4: to have made inappropriate jokes or weird comments about my lady,

1181
00:53:03,360 --> 00:53:06,120
Speaker 4: and I'm effing quick to shut that down. And here

1182
00:53:06,239 --> 00:53:08,840
Speaker 4: I was thinking those actions were mutual. I guess not.

1183
00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:11,080
Speaker 4: I just don't want to marry her at all in

1184
00:53:11,120 --> 00:53:14,319
Speaker 4: this mindset, really, but I also don't want to end

1185
00:53:14,360 --> 00:53:15,520
Speaker 4: things after six years.

1186
00:53:15,560 --> 00:53:18,200
Speaker 5: It's been a long time and a special time. I

1187
00:53:18,239 --> 00:53:20,239
Speaker 5: do love her, but no decisions are really set in

1188
00:53:20,280 --> 00:53:22,960
Speaker 5: stone right now, but we're not separated, so that's something.

1189
00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:25,480
Speaker 4: But I'm usually the type to shrug stuff off, but

1190
00:53:25,520 --> 00:53:27,600
Speaker 4: I'm finding it difficult to get rid of this one.

1191
00:53:27,640 --> 00:53:28,399
Speaker 5: We just wrapped up.

1192
00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:30,360
Speaker 4: To her, and I'm not really angry anymore. I just

1193
00:53:30,400 --> 00:53:33,600
Speaker 4: feel sad and pretty stupid for thinking things were fine

1194
00:53:33,719 --> 00:53:35,720
Speaker 4: when they're clearly not effing fine.

1195
00:53:35,800 --> 00:53:36,600
Speaker 5: But that's that.

1196
00:53:36,800 --> 00:53:39,319
Speaker 4: Maybe I'm just an emotionally stunted loser for getting so

1197
00:53:39,400 --> 00:53:41,880
Speaker 4: worked up about all this. Sorry for the depressing update,

1198
00:53:42,040 --> 00:53:44,560
Speaker 4: but that's life. And thanks to everyone who gave me

1199
00:53:44,640 --> 00:53:48,000
Speaker 4: useful advice. It did help gather my thoughts. She mentioned counseling,

1200
00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:50,080
Speaker 4: so maybe that's wheth a try. But hey, on a

1201
00:53:50,080 --> 00:53:52,600
Speaker 4: positive note, to the one person who asked, I do

1202
00:53:52,680 --> 00:53:55,200
Speaker 4: indeed have a beard, and it is a very nice one.

1203
00:53:55,360 --> 00:53:56,600
Speaker 1: This guy's just rubbing it in now.

1204
00:53:56,760 --> 00:53:58,480
Speaker 5: I see this guy Viking.

1205
00:53:58,760 --> 00:53:59,880
Speaker 1: This guy's definitely a biking.

1206
00:54:00,160 --> 00:54:02,160
Speaker 4: Be like, oh, did you just like when you're twelve,

1207
00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:05,240
Speaker 4: you decided to make your entire personality the action figure

1208
00:54:05,280 --> 00:54:07,879
Speaker 4: aisle at the toy store. He'd be like, shut up, nerd,

1209
00:54:07,920 --> 00:54:10,399
Speaker 4: and then he'd crush me into a small pile. He'd

1210
00:54:10,440 --> 00:54:12,680
Speaker 4: take his arm and just compress me into the ground.

1211
00:54:12,760 --> 00:54:14,080
Speaker 1: He just clapping you disappear.

1212
00:54:14,239 --> 00:54:14,920
Speaker 5: Comment one.

1213
00:54:15,040 --> 00:54:17,880
Speaker 4: At minimum, all wedding planning needs to be put on hold,

1214
00:54:17,880 --> 00:54:20,319
Speaker 4: and definitely if a data has been picked to cancel it,

1215
00:54:20,360 --> 00:54:22,640
Speaker 4: everything can be rescheduled until you know for sure whether

1216
00:54:22,719 --> 00:54:24,560
Speaker 4: your relationship is gonna make it through this. If there

1217
00:54:24,560 --> 00:54:27,280
Speaker 4: are some fees involved, it's still a lot cheaper than divorce.

1218
00:54:27,480 --> 00:54:31,120
Speaker 4: If your fiance is sincerely remorseful, she will fully understand.

1219
00:54:31,200 --> 00:54:33,560
Speaker 4: If she throws a fit about postponing, then you'll know

1220
00:54:33,719 --> 00:54:36,719
Speaker 4: for sure she isn't really sorry, but only said she

1221
00:54:37,040 --> 00:54:37,920
Speaker 4: was to shut you up.

1222
00:54:38,040 --> 00:54:39,600
Speaker 1: That is so not true.

1223
00:54:40,040 --> 00:54:43,319
Speaker 4: The whole context is she's already massively stressed out about

1224
00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:45,520
Speaker 4: the wedding. Now you're gonna say it needs to be

1225
00:54:45,560 --> 00:54:48,680
Speaker 4: postponed and canceled, She's going to throw a fit as

1226
00:54:48,719 --> 00:54:52,400
Speaker 4: interesting as anybody would like. It's being like yeah, And

1227
00:54:52,440 --> 00:54:55,520
Speaker 4: if she can't accept that, that shows you that's so stupid.

1228
00:54:55,640 --> 00:54:58,880
Speaker 5: That is that is so stupid. Relationship counseling will be wise.

1229
00:54:58,960 --> 00:54:59,680
Speaker 5: I agree with that.

1230
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:02,239
Speaker 4: She needs to prove that she will have your back

1231
00:55:02,280 --> 00:55:04,879
Speaker 4: going forward and will shut down anyone who talks crap

1232
00:55:04,920 --> 00:55:07,799
Speaker 4: about you. Crucially, her response to postponing the wedding is

1233
00:55:07,840 --> 00:55:11,120
Speaker 4: an important first test. If she pushes back on that,

1234
00:55:11,360 --> 00:55:14,240
Speaker 4: you can be dang sure. That's the first step towards

1235
00:55:14,320 --> 00:55:17,200
Speaker 4: minimizing how much he hurt you. She agrees and is

1236
00:55:17,200 --> 00:55:20,240
Speaker 4: committed to having your back against any family members that complain.

1237
00:55:20,760 --> 00:55:22,480
Speaker 4: That's a good sign that she's willing to put her

1238
00:55:22,480 --> 00:55:24,200
Speaker 4: money where her mouth is and learn from.

1239
00:55:24,120 --> 00:55:24,759
Speaker 5: Her f ups.

1240
00:55:24,760 --> 00:55:28,280
Speaker 4: Ohp says, Yeah, we'll definitely be pushing it back, which sucks,

1241
00:55:28,280 --> 00:55:29,279
Speaker 4: but it's necessary.

1242
00:55:29,360 --> 00:55:31,520
Speaker 5: And that's the end of that story.

1243
00:55:31,719 --> 00:55:34,440
Speaker 4: Hey man, you know, maybe I'm just hearing in my

1244
00:55:34,480 --> 00:55:37,200
Speaker 4: head not you know, not what she said, but from

1245
00:55:37,239 --> 00:55:39,640
Speaker 4: what you said, doesn't sound like she really went that

1246
00:55:39,680 --> 00:55:40,160
Speaker 4: hard on you.

1247
00:55:40,400 --> 00:55:42,239
Speaker 2: And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go

1248
00:55:42,239 --> 00:55:44,719
Speaker 2: on to the next one. Hey, John ogi host here,

1249
00:55:44,760 --> 00:55:46,160
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to this episode.

1250
00:55:46,200 --> 00:55:47,960
Speaker 4: But a quick three minute break of ads from a

1251
00:55:47,960 --> 00:55:49,280
Speaker 4: sponsor's keeping the show alive.

1252
00:55:49,880 --> 00:55:52,600
Speaker 1: My boyfriend got offended because I didn't notice him in

1253
00:55:52,680 --> 00:55:53,280
Speaker 1: high school.

1254
00:55:54,120 --> 00:55:55,680
Speaker 5: Notice me sendpile.

1255
00:55:56,719 --> 00:55:59,239
Speaker 1: My boyfriend and I both twenty five, went to the

1256
00:55:59,239 --> 00:56:01,480
Speaker 1: same high school. My boyfriend was talking about our high

1257
00:56:01,480 --> 00:56:04,319
Speaker 1: school days. He thought high school me would have been

1258
00:56:04,360 --> 00:56:08,080
Speaker 1: thrilled to date the popular guy because I was a nerd.

1259
00:56:08,320 --> 00:56:11,479
Speaker 1: Mind you, we're twenty five and it's twenty twenty four.

1260
00:56:11,600 --> 00:56:14,000
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from user no Job seventy

1261
00:56:14,040 --> 00:56:15,719
Speaker 1: two oh two. And if we want to submit your

1262
00:56:15,719 --> 00:56:17,879
Speaker 1: own stories, go to the r slash Okay story time

1263
00:56:17,920 --> 00:56:20,520
Speaker 1: subret it. I'm ke On, I'm Dakota, and we're here

1264
00:56:20,520 --> 00:56:22,440
Speaker 1: to give good advice Googly, but we don't have all

1265
00:56:22,440 --> 00:56:25,000
Speaker 1: the answers, so we only know what we'd do. Please

1266
00:56:25,080 --> 00:56:26,920
Speaker 1: let us know what you do in the comments. I

1267
00:56:27,120 --> 00:56:30,400
Speaker 1: played along for a bit until I realized he wasn't joking.

1268
00:56:30,520 --> 00:56:33,160
Speaker 1: He literally thought that I told him that I didn't

1269
00:56:33,200 --> 00:56:35,440
Speaker 1: know he existed. He was surprised and said that he

1270
00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:38,640
Speaker 1: was a popular kid. He played football and was in

1271
00:56:38,680 --> 00:56:41,200
Speaker 1: the popular crowd. He said that I must have been lying.

1272
00:56:41,320 --> 00:56:44,440
Speaker 1: I told him that the nerds never cared about the

1273
00:56:44,560 --> 00:56:47,520
Speaker 1: popular kids in high school because we were fiercely competing

1274
00:56:47,520 --> 00:56:51,080
Speaker 1: amongst ourselves for college admissions. We're a backstory on our town.

1275
00:56:51,360 --> 00:56:53,719
Speaker 1: My boyfriend was born and raised there, but I only

1276
00:56:53,760 --> 00:56:55,400
Speaker 1: moved when I was thirteen, along with a bunch of

1277
00:56:55,480 --> 00:56:58,839
Speaker 1: other high achieving kids. That's because an engineering company opened

1278
00:56:58,880 --> 00:57:01,040
Speaker 1: up a branch near that town and brought in a

1279
00:57:01,040 --> 00:57:03,640
Speaker 1: ton of engineers and their families. So it was a

1280
00:57:03,680 --> 00:57:06,759
Speaker 1: sleepy town with a big high school that suddenly got

1281
00:57:06,800 --> 00:57:11,080
Speaker 1: a ton of competitive kids, and I mean insanely competitive.

1282
00:57:11,320 --> 00:57:13,719
Speaker 1: Nobody had time to think about popular kids or really

1283
00:57:13,760 --> 00:57:17,360
Speaker 1: anything but college admissions. I was only getting four or

1284
00:57:17,400 --> 00:57:20,960
Speaker 1: five hours of sleep a night regularly. Sports like football

1285
00:57:21,080 --> 00:57:23,840
Speaker 1: or cheerleading, which required five days a week of training

1286
00:57:24,160 --> 00:57:26,120
Speaker 1: at school, were out of the question, and I saw

1287
00:57:26,160 --> 00:57:28,360
Speaker 1: the same people regularly because we were all in the

1288
00:57:28,400 --> 00:57:31,400
Speaker 1: same classes, so all the drama was contained within that

1289
00:57:31,480 --> 00:57:34,000
Speaker 1: group of fifty to one hundred or so students. It

1290
00:57:34,040 --> 00:57:36,280
Speaker 1: paid off for me. I got into a top college

1291
00:57:36,280 --> 00:57:39,600
Speaker 1: and had no student loans. It was literally cheaper than

1292
00:57:39,640 --> 00:57:43,000
Speaker 1: the state school. And despite my auto generated user name,

1293
00:57:43,240 --> 00:57:45,760
Speaker 1: I do have a good job that I do enjoy.

1294
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:49,560
Speaker 1: My boyfriend said, I'm lying. I don't like being called

1295
00:57:49,600 --> 00:57:51,960
Speaker 1: a liar. So I literally reached out to all of

1296
00:57:51,960 --> 00:57:55,120
Speaker 1: my high school nerd friends and yep, they didn't know

1297
00:57:55,160 --> 00:57:58,080
Speaker 1: the popular group and the ins and outs of the dynamics.

1298
00:57:58,120 --> 00:58:01,120
Speaker 1: Like my boyfriend thought, a few peace people recognize some names,

1299
00:58:01,240 --> 00:58:03,600
Speaker 1: but like I said, we were really focused on competing

1300
00:58:03,640 --> 00:58:06,280
Speaker 1: with each other. He got quiet when I proved my case.

1301
00:58:06,400 --> 00:58:09,880
Speaker 1: He said I humiliated him and proved my point and

1302
00:58:09,920 --> 00:58:12,240
Speaker 1: we should never mention high school again. I talked with

1303
00:58:12,280 --> 00:58:14,240
Speaker 1: his sister and she said that high school was a

1304
00:58:14,280 --> 00:58:18,000
Speaker 1: special experience for him and I ruined his memories. Am

1305
00:58:18,160 --> 00:58:20,880
Speaker 1: I the a hole? And we have some relevant comments

1306
00:58:20,880 --> 00:58:22,520
Speaker 1: here to Kota? What say you?

1307
00:58:22,520 --> 00:58:23,320
Speaker 5: You're not the a hole?

1308
00:58:23,360 --> 00:58:25,240
Speaker 1: You did nothing, You did nothing wrong with.

1309
00:58:25,240 --> 00:58:27,520
Speaker 5: His own existence. She's crazy, You.

1310
00:58:27,400 --> 00:58:29,720
Speaker 1: Did nothing wrong. He was like you how like I

1311
00:58:29,920 --> 00:58:32,640
Speaker 1: was throwing out Aura in high school? Did not reach

1312
00:58:32,720 --> 00:58:33,800
Speaker 1: your tiny brain?

1313
00:58:34,200 --> 00:58:34,439
Speaker 5: Op.

1314
00:58:34,760 --> 00:58:36,280
Speaker 4: This should have been to the level of, like, I

1315
00:58:36,280 --> 00:58:38,000
Speaker 4: guess I didn't know you in high school, and then

1316
00:58:38,120 --> 00:58:40,320
Speaker 4: it should have been oh wow, yeah, yeah, I guess

1317
00:58:40,320 --> 00:58:41,800
Speaker 4: You'm I'm surprised crazy.

1318
00:58:41,840 --> 00:58:43,640
Speaker 1: I'm surprised he didn't throw out like. I was a

1319
00:58:43,680 --> 00:58:46,640
Speaker 1: popular guy. I played football, I slept with literally any

1320
00:58:46,680 --> 00:58:48,680
Speaker 1: girl I wanted to. I could have done it with you,

1321
00:58:48,720 --> 00:58:51,240
Speaker 1: evenen I tried. It's like she's all that, she's all that.

1322
00:58:51,280 --> 00:58:52,560
Speaker 1: It's literally this is she's all that.

1323
00:58:52,680 --> 00:58:56,240
Speaker 4: It's just like it should be such an absolutely nothing thing.

1324
00:58:56,400 --> 00:58:57,840
Speaker 5: And the fact that it's becoming.

1325
00:58:57,920 --> 00:58:59,440
Speaker 1: Really it's really peaked it's like.

1326
00:58:59,480 --> 00:59:03,760
Speaker 5: It's I'm this is unacceptable. It's like, that's crazy.

1327
00:59:03,800 --> 00:59:08,120
Speaker 1: It's provoking his insecurities and his masculinity to the highest extreme.

1328
00:59:08,600 --> 00:59:11,800
Speaker 1: But we have some relevant comments and first off verdict

1329
00:59:11,880 --> 00:59:14,320
Speaker 1: not the A hole. Some relevant comments here and funny enough,

1330
00:59:14,400 --> 00:59:17,400
Speaker 1: this user name nick too cool for School, not the

1331
00:59:17,440 --> 00:59:20,320
Speaker 1: A hole. I won't echo the peaked in high school thing,

1332
00:59:20,400 --> 00:59:22,840
Speaker 1: because while it may have an echo of truth, I

1333
00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:25,440
Speaker 1: also think it's reductive. I think it's more important for

1334
00:59:25,480 --> 00:59:28,680
Speaker 1: your boyfriend to realize that the reason nerds bond together

1335
00:59:28,760 --> 00:59:32,800
Speaker 1: in places like high school and why weirdos, nerds, freaks,

1336
00:59:32,800 --> 00:59:37,040
Speaker 1: and geeks self identify as such despite implied social stigma,

1337
00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:40,000
Speaker 1: is that it's a conscious act of defiance against the

1338
00:59:40,040 --> 00:59:42,760
Speaker 1: notion that their self worth is solely defined by the

1339
00:59:42,840 --> 00:59:46,439
Speaker 1: dominant social hierarchy. Op responds, I'm going to be really

1340
00:59:46,440 --> 00:59:49,160
Speaker 1: honest here. It was not about defiance in any way

1341
00:59:49,200 --> 00:59:51,880
Speaker 1: for us. In fact, we played more heavily into a

1342
00:59:51,920 --> 00:59:55,280
Speaker 1: social hierarchy measured by the prestige of your college and

1343
00:59:55,400 --> 00:59:59,400
Speaker 1: perceived pathway. It was a very competitive and unhealthy environment.

1344
00:59:59,440 --> 01:00:02,360
Speaker 1: The reason or other people didn't care about popular kids

1345
01:00:02,480 --> 01:00:05,720
Speaker 1: or freaks or weirdos because they weren't competitors. If my

1346
01:00:05,840 --> 01:00:08,800
Speaker 1: boyfriend was a student athlete who had great stats, we

1347
01:00:08,840 --> 01:00:11,280
Speaker 1: would all have known and cared. It's not a good thing,

1348
01:00:11,480 --> 01:00:14,000
Speaker 1: but it's the reality of many high achieving students in

1349
01:00:14,120 --> 01:00:16,400
Speaker 1: high school. Seri x eighty four to seventy two says,

1350
01:00:16,520 --> 01:00:18,840
Speaker 1: not the ale, But why does your boyfriend feel in

1351
01:00:18,920 --> 01:00:23,080
Speaker 1: neat for others to validate his high school experience? Why

1352
01:00:23,080 --> 01:00:25,280
Speaker 1: can't he just remember it as he did and then

1353
01:00:25,480 --> 01:00:28,520
Speaker 1: be that nothing's changed? And edit to say these are

1354
01:00:28,600 --> 01:00:32,360
Speaker 1: rhetorical questions for OP we all already know the answer.

1355
01:00:32,400 --> 01:00:34,720
Speaker 1: Bariety Gamer nine two eight says, not the ale. It

1356
01:00:34,760 --> 01:00:37,200
Speaker 1: begs the questions why your boyfriend feels the need to

1357
01:00:37,200 --> 01:00:41,320
Speaker 1: feel superior in your relationship? Ope responds, he doesn't really

1358
01:00:41,320 --> 01:00:44,360
Speaker 1: have a superiority complex. He just saw those videos talking

1359
01:00:44,400 --> 01:00:47,360
Speaker 1: about my boyfriend's slash girlfriend in high school versus me,

1360
01:00:47,560 --> 01:00:49,600
Speaker 1: and thought about us because we were in high school.

1361
01:00:49,640 --> 01:00:52,120
Speaker 1: On the flip side, he loves those jokes about one

1362
01:00:52,120 --> 01:00:55,000
Speaker 1: person having a silly job like him while their partner

1363
01:00:55,040 --> 01:00:58,120
Speaker 1: has a serious job with real world ramifications. I think

1364
01:00:58,160 --> 01:00:59,720
Speaker 1: he just liked the idea of me having a crush

1365
01:00:59,720 --> 01:01:01,640
Speaker 1: on him in high school. Back in the day when

1366
01:01:01,680 --> 01:01:05,560
Speaker 1: life wasn't complicated and real PACTA says not the ale.

1367
01:01:05,840 --> 01:01:07,560
Speaker 1: I agree with you. I went to a huge high

1368
01:01:07,560 --> 01:01:10,000
Speaker 1: school with around six hundred kids in each grade. I

1369
01:01:10,040 --> 01:01:11,960
Speaker 1: honestly didn't even know a lot of the kids in

1370
01:01:12,000 --> 01:01:14,000
Speaker 1: my grade and really just stuck to my group about

1371
01:01:14,080 --> 01:01:16,400
Speaker 1: fifty kids. We were the emo kids. We could have

1372
01:01:16,440 --> 01:01:18,640
Speaker 1: cared less about any other groups of kids and couldn't

1373
01:01:18,640 --> 01:01:21,800
Speaker 1: tell you if anyone was popular. OPI response. That was

1374
01:01:21,880 --> 01:01:25,560
Speaker 1: so similar to my experience at our graduation. I was like,

1375
01:01:25,600 --> 01:01:27,360
Speaker 1: who the f are these people? It's not like this

1376
01:01:27,480 --> 01:01:29,440
Speaker 1: mart kids tried to stick together though being in the

1377
01:01:29,440 --> 01:01:33,439
Speaker 1: same classes and all that stuff all the time does

1378
01:01:33,480 --> 01:01:35,960
Speaker 1: that to you? Most of us absolutely hated each other.

1379
01:01:36,040 --> 01:01:38,560
Speaker 1: By nicrol B, I wonder if he has implied or

1380
01:01:38,600 --> 01:01:40,880
Speaker 1: said that he noticed you in high school. There may

1381
01:01:40,920 --> 01:01:44,640
Speaker 1: be non popularity aspects. Here is he romanticizing your attraction.

1382
01:01:44,800 --> 01:01:47,400
Speaker 1: Slash was expecting that you had noticed him, and he

1383
01:01:47,480 --> 01:01:49,560
Speaker 1: is now hesitant to admit that he has noticed you

1384
01:01:49,600 --> 01:01:52,440
Speaker 1: in high school? Maybe a sense of destiny or Slash's

1385
01:01:52,440 --> 01:01:54,480
Speaker 1: an internal sense of we were meant to be. It

1386
01:01:54,560 --> 01:01:56,920
Speaker 1: might be too charitable, but it might be worth exploring

1387
01:01:57,160 --> 01:01:59,600
Speaker 1: whether this has messed with his internal narrative of your

1388
01:01:59,680 --> 01:02:02,800
Speaker 1: romance's being something that could have begun before it began.

1389
01:02:03,080 --> 01:02:05,800
Speaker 1: Op responds with, at the very least he knew I

1390
01:02:05,920 --> 01:02:08,080
Speaker 1: was a senior. I was the first student like thirty

1391
01:02:08,160 --> 01:02:11,000
Speaker 1: years to get into a certain college, and it was

1392
01:02:11,040 --> 01:02:14,160
Speaker 1: all over our pages. A few other students had similar accomplishments,

1393
01:02:14,160 --> 01:02:16,000
Speaker 1: so the school thought it was a great idea to

1394
01:02:16,000 --> 01:02:18,360
Speaker 1: plaster our pictures at the front of the school, as

1395
01:02:18,360 --> 01:02:21,080
Speaker 1: well as put in our school district website. For months.

1396
01:02:21,200 --> 01:02:23,000
Speaker 1: My boyfriend joke that he fell in love with me

1397
01:02:23,200 --> 01:02:25,440
Speaker 1: because of a god awful picture they posted. It was

1398
01:02:25,480 --> 01:02:28,360
Speaker 1: literally the ugliest photo I had ever seen, mustache and

1399
01:02:28,360 --> 01:02:30,680
Speaker 1: eyebags on full display. So it's also the school that

1400
01:02:30,800 --> 01:02:33,640
Speaker 1: stapled a list of college seniors who were going to

1401
01:02:33,680 --> 01:02:36,120
Speaker 1: their front Hallway back in the day, it would be

1402
01:02:36,160 --> 01:02:38,280
Speaker 1: a cute way to see where your classmates were going,

1403
01:02:38,760 --> 01:02:41,840
Speaker 1: but when it became competitive, it was basically a mark

1404
01:02:41,880 --> 01:02:43,880
Speaker 1: of shame for kids, which was honestly a shame and

1405
01:02:43,960 --> 01:02:46,240
Speaker 1: quite sad. And we do have an update, anything to add.

1406
01:02:46,400 --> 01:02:48,960
Speaker 4: It's just like, I just hope this is something that

1407
01:02:49,080 --> 01:02:53,000
Speaker 4: has worked through instead of it just becomes this insurmountable

1408
01:02:53,400 --> 01:02:57,400
Speaker 4: moment that changes y'all forever, because it really shouldn't weigh

1409
01:02:57,440 --> 01:02:58,000
Speaker 4: that much at all.

1410
01:02:58,120 --> 01:03:00,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was gonna say, in my words, it's like,

1411
01:03:00,280 --> 01:03:03,000
Speaker 1: it's not that serious, like cool you were you peaked

1412
01:03:03,000 --> 01:03:05,040
Speaker 1: in high school, or you were really popular in high school.

1413
01:03:05,240 --> 01:03:08,200
Speaker 1: I was popular among my friends. It don't matter. Doesn't

1414
01:03:08,240 --> 01:03:10,160
Speaker 1: mean it was high school I went at the time.

1415
01:03:10,160 --> 01:03:12,640
Speaker 1: In high school probably like the biggest thing in your life.

1416
01:03:12,640 --> 01:03:15,320
Speaker 1: But once you graduate go onto the real world. For

1417
01:03:15,400 --> 01:03:16,959
Speaker 1: the most part, who gives a crap.

1418
01:03:17,120 --> 01:03:19,479
Speaker 5: It just matter. Do you have friends, do you like them?

1419
01:03:19,680 --> 01:03:22,200
Speaker 1: Are you happy? So? Yeah, are you happy with your life?

1420
01:03:22,240 --> 01:03:24,000
Speaker 1: There you go, and we do have an update. I

1421
01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:26,200
Speaker 1: know my boyfriend isn't a loser, still stuck in his

1422
01:03:26,240 --> 01:03:28,480
Speaker 1: glory days in high school. So I talked to him

1423
01:03:28,480 --> 01:03:30,640
Speaker 1: and asked why he was upset at me not knowing

1424
01:03:30,680 --> 01:03:33,320
Speaker 1: him in high school. Well, he told me he did

1425
01:03:33,320 --> 01:03:36,320
Speaker 1: have a passing hallway crush on me, the mustache, eyebags

1426
01:03:36,360 --> 01:03:39,000
Speaker 1: and all, which was flattering to hear. He felt defensive

1427
01:03:39,040 --> 01:03:41,520
Speaker 1: because I kind of stomped all over his daydreams of

1428
01:03:41,520 --> 01:03:44,000
Speaker 1: fleeting thoughts of each other. He also literally thought I

1429
01:03:44,080 --> 01:03:46,520
Speaker 1: was lying because he knew of me, and he thought

1430
01:03:46,560 --> 01:03:48,760
Speaker 1: wrongly that I wouldn't know him. I hate being called

1431
01:03:48,800 --> 01:03:50,840
Speaker 1: a liar, which made me go on a war path.

1432
01:03:50,920 --> 01:03:53,040
Speaker 1: Don't worry, I didn't tell my friends why I was

1433
01:03:53,080 --> 01:03:55,960
Speaker 1: asking about my boyfriend's friend group, but they'll probably figure

1434
01:03:55,960 --> 01:03:58,360
Speaker 1: it out. He apologized and we hugged it out. Honestly,

1435
01:03:58,720 --> 01:04:02,440
Speaker 1: these comments were really wild. People were salivating over my

1436
01:04:02,520 --> 01:04:06,439
Speaker 1: boyfriend being this apparent loser jock character. I wasn't making

1437
01:04:06,480 --> 01:04:08,920
Speaker 1: a statement about anything my boyfriend. I just ran in

1438
01:04:09,000 --> 01:04:12,440
Speaker 1: different social groups, neither better nor worse than the other. Well,

1439
01:04:12,640 --> 01:04:15,800
Speaker 1: maybe mine because that was slightly more toxic. We had

1440
01:04:15,840 --> 01:04:19,240
Speaker 1: different social experiences with good and bad points. I can't

1441
01:04:19,240 --> 01:04:22,680
Speaker 1: believe the number of stereotypes about nerds, which I never

1442
01:04:22,720 --> 01:04:26,560
Speaker 1: considered myself lol, or popular kids in these comments. I

1443
01:04:26,640 --> 01:04:29,120
Speaker 1: was definitely not taking a social stance by not noticing

1444
01:04:29,160 --> 01:04:31,880
Speaker 1: the popular kids. They just weren't in my radar. I

1445
01:04:31,920 --> 01:04:34,160
Speaker 1: missed way more days of school than my boyfriend for

1446
01:04:34,240 --> 01:04:38,200
Speaker 1: competitions for my clubs. As a boring person, I didn't

1447
01:04:38,200 --> 01:04:40,360
Speaker 1: have any drama, but I witnessed a lot. There were

1448
01:04:40,360 --> 01:04:43,200
Speaker 1: always parties and sneaking around, but there were always this

1449
01:04:43,400 --> 01:04:46,200
Speaker 1: undercurrent of stress that dominated my school life. I don't

1450
01:04:46,200 --> 01:04:49,440
Speaker 1: regret high school, and I'm grateful for the opportunities and experiences,

1451
01:04:49,680 --> 01:04:51,520
Speaker 1: but I don't want to go back. I'm not better

1452
01:04:51,600 --> 01:04:54,240
Speaker 1: or worse than my boyfriend because of my high school experience.

1453
01:04:54,320 --> 01:04:55,880
Speaker 1: We're all just people at the end of the day,

1454
01:04:56,040 --> 01:04:58,880
Speaker 1: and it shouldn't really matter. It's you know, as long

1455
01:04:58,920 --> 01:05:01,600
Speaker 1: as you're happy, you have relationships with people, that's all

1456
01:05:01,640 --> 01:05:04,200
Speaker 1: you need. You had high school, you made friendships, you

1457
01:05:04,520 --> 01:05:07,040
Speaker 1: had the experience. You know, that's life. High school should

1458
01:05:07,080 --> 01:05:09,520
Speaker 1: not be the one thing you should focus on or

1459
01:05:09,640 --> 01:05:10,600
Speaker 1: think about all the time.

1460
01:05:10,760 --> 01:05:12,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, if you're not the coolest, if you don't want

1461
01:05:12,680 --> 01:05:13,440
Speaker 5: to be the coolest.

1462
01:05:13,200 --> 01:05:15,960
Speaker 1: As someone who didn't peak in high school, no, yeah,

1463
01:05:16,080 --> 01:05:18,840
Speaker 1: I high school is never that like serious for me.

1464
01:05:18,960 --> 01:05:21,160
Speaker 4: So high school should be the most the only thing

1465
01:05:21,200 --> 01:05:22,439
Speaker 4: you think about for the rest of your life.

1466
01:05:22,440 --> 01:05:23,720
Speaker 1: Not even call it just high school.

1467
01:05:23,840 --> 01:05:25,280
Speaker 5: Yep, that's it, that's all it is.

1468
01:05:25,480 --> 01:05:28,480
Speaker 1: But unfortunately, like high school's being over for us. Yeah,

1469
01:05:28,600 --> 01:05:29,959
Speaker 1: this is the end of that story.

1470
01:05:29,760 --> 01:05:33,320
Speaker 5: So over, and that stories over. High school is over,

1471
01:05:33,480 --> 01:05:34,919
Speaker 5: this episode is over.