1 00:00:01,600 --> 00:00:05,880 Speaker 1: On this week's episode of Cultivating her Space, it's okay 2 00:00:05,920 --> 00:00:08,479 Speaker 1: for you to pull over on the side of your 3 00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:11,039 Speaker 1: journey and take a break and to regroup. Like it's 4 00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:13,680 Speaker 1: cool even if other people are flying by you, because 5 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,759 Speaker 1: sometimes as an overachiever, that can be a bit bothersome 6 00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:19,119 Speaker 1: when you're a little stagnant because of your predicament, but 7 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:21,759 Speaker 1: you see everyone else that's like moving ahead and they're 8 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:24,400 Speaker 1: doing their thing. But letting yourself know, like it's okay 9 00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:27,040 Speaker 1: for me to just get my bearings and be still 10 00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:29,840 Speaker 1: right now, like that is so crucial, And so I 11 00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:31,560 Speaker 1: just want to remind you, lady, like it's okay to 12 00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:35,320 Speaker 1: let yourself off the hook. Today's episode is sure to 13 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:40,319 Speaker 1: provide you with motivation, inspiration, or a fresh perspective. If 14 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:44,480 Speaker 1: you have any AHA moments or appreciate anything from this episode, 15 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:47,239 Speaker 1: please leave us a review to let us know we're 16 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:51,800 Speaker 1: on the right track. Also, we release episodes every Friday, 17 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:56,400 Speaker 1: so be sure to subscribe on iTunes and visit cultivatinghurspace 18 00:00:56,440 --> 00:01:00,520 Speaker 1: dot com to access our exclusive after show and other 19 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:02,840 Speaker 1: bonus content from the Patreon tab. 20 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:08,920 Speaker 2: Welcome to Cultivating her Space, a podcast dedicated to uplifting 21 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:13,720 Speaker 2: women like you. We're your hosts, doctor Dominique Broussard, a 22 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:16,280 Speaker 2: college professor and psychologist. 23 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:19,959 Speaker 1: And Terry Lomax, a techie and motivational speaker. In a 24 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:25,000 Speaker 1: world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood, please 25 00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:29,800 Speaker 1: join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything from 26 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:33,160 Speaker 1: fibroids to fake friends and create a safe space where 27 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:35,399 Speaker 1: black women can just be. 28 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:41,920 Speaker 3: Hey, lady, is doctor dom here from the Cultivating her 29 00:01:41,959 --> 00:01:45,959 Speaker 3: Space podcast? Are you currently a resident of the state 30 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:51,440 Speaker 3: of California and contemplating starting your therapy journey? Well, if so, 31 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:56,480 Speaker 3: please reach out to me at doctor Dominique Brusard dot com. 32 00:01:56,920 --> 00:02:07,480 Speaker 3: That's dr domi ni Que b r ou Ssard dot 33 00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:12,440 Speaker 3: com to schedule a free fifteen minute consultation. I look 34 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,359 Speaker 3: forward to hearing from you. 35 00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:20,400 Speaker 4: All right, our quote of the day stability is the 36 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:23,919 Speaker 4: state of having your bearings and being able to navigate 37 00:02:23,919 --> 00:02:28,160 Speaker 4: the world around you. That quote comes to us from 38 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:35,799 Speaker 4: our own Terry LOVANX. All Right, t this quote, what 39 00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:37,760 Speaker 4: does it mean to you? Because I know you have 40 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:42,840 Speaker 4: some caveats, So what does that mean to you? Stability 41 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:47,320 Speaker 4: is the state of having your bearings and being able 42 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:49,720 Speaker 4: to navigate the world around you. 43 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:52,040 Speaker 1: Well, first, let me just say, lady, I think we 44 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:54,640 Speaker 1: talked about this in the last episode, but you know, 45 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:57,079 Speaker 1: down behind the scenes, I just went through a very 46 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:01,200 Speaker 1: chaotic time in life and I'm finally on the other 47 00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:04,520 Speaker 1: side of that. And so it's so interesting when you 48 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:09,079 Speaker 1: are accustomed like you had and a lot of instability 49 00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:11,680 Speaker 1: maybe at some point in life, and then you get 50 00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:14,600 Speaker 1: stable and then it's taken away again and so adjusting 51 00:03:14,639 --> 00:03:17,840 Speaker 1: to that. So the reason I the reason that I 52 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:20,000 Speaker 1: know state to this quote is because I think that 53 00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:24,080 Speaker 1: this is what it means to me at this point 54 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:26,560 Speaker 1: in my life. I do think that when you think 55 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:28,799 Speaker 1: of what stability means, it is subjective, so it really 56 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:32,040 Speaker 1: depends on the person. I think that it evolves with us. 57 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:35,040 Speaker 1: So what stability looks like for me today is very 58 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:36,920 Speaker 1: different from what it looked like for me when I 59 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:39,400 Speaker 1: was in college, right or when I was in high school. 60 00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:43,840 Speaker 1: And then I also believe that you can be stable 61 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:47,960 Speaker 1: within your mind even though there is chaos outside of 62 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:50,920 Speaker 1: you and around you. So I think it's an evolving definition. 63 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:51,280 Speaker 4: Lady. 64 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:53,920 Speaker 1: As you listen, you may think, well, I have a 65 00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:56,600 Speaker 1: different definition of what stability might mean for me. Right, 66 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:58,480 Speaker 1: So that's what I would say. Down, What about you, 67 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:01,360 Speaker 1: what do you think about this particular quote and how 68 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:04,080 Speaker 1: it resonates with you and your life or how it 69 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:05,560 Speaker 1: doesn't resonate with your life? 70 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:09,560 Speaker 4: Well, I think that it definitely, it definitely does resonate, 71 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:13,000 Speaker 4: and I agree with it that one that it is 72 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:21,320 Speaker 4: definitely subjective, right, that how one define one of us 73 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:28,000 Speaker 4: may define stability is definitely and should look different than 74 00:04:28,279 --> 00:04:32,880 Speaker 4: how someone else defines stability because each of our experiences 75 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:38,960 Speaker 4: are unique, and so what you need to feel comfortable, 76 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:44,000 Speaker 4: what you need to navigate the world around you, I 77 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:49,000 Speaker 4: wholeheartedly believe it's supposed to be different than what I 78 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:52,320 Speaker 4: need to navigate the world around me. Yes, there might 79 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:57,880 Speaker 4: might be some overlap, but each of us has our 80 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:01,360 Speaker 4: own things that we need to f in this life. 81 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,480 Speaker 1: I would agree with that. I just think that we're 82 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:08,080 Speaker 1: living in a time right now, though, where people are 83 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:13,720 Speaker 1: so pressed to define what things mean to other people. 84 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,800 Speaker 1: Right Like, someone will come up with a definition and 85 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:19,640 Speaker 1: they're like, Okay, everyone has to assimilate to this perspective 86 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:22,039 Speaker 1: in this way of living. And so I'm glad that 87 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:24,520 Speaker 1: we're emphasizing that before we dive in deeper where it's like, 88 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:28,680 Speaker 1: this is just our definition, this doesn't necessarily have to 89 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:32,960 Speaker 1: be yours. And so before we dive into our tips 90 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:35,920 Speaker 1: or the ways to find stability during unstable times, dom, 91 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,760 Speaker 1: can you, like, if you think back to a time 92 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:40,080 Speaker 1: in your life where you did not have stability and 93 00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:41,919 Speaker 1: like what that looked like and how you showed up 94 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:44,360 Speaker 1: in life? Can you like pink that picture and just 95 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:46,719 Speaker 1: share that and I'll think of mine. I think I 96 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:48,800 Speaker 1: talked about it last time again, but I can share 97 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:51,800 Speaker 1: a bit more detail about that because I don't do 98 00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:54,040 Speaker 1: well when I'm not in a stable position, like it's 99 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:56,719 Speaker 1: it's not fun, you know what I mean. Like and 100 00:05:56,760 --> 00:06:00,320 Speaker 1: some people they thrive in those environments where there's there's 101 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:02,839 Speaker 1: chaos or there's excitement. They might see as right. But 102 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:04,920 Speaker 1: for me, I'm like, I need stability. That is so 103 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:07,279 Speaker 1: important for my mental health for me to show up 104 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:10,159 Speaker 1: in a powerful way in my opinion at least. 105 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:13,200 Speaker 4: So can you think of a time as I was 106 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:19,080 Speaker 4: sitting with the definition of stability and a time in 107 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:21,720 Speaker 4: my life when I didn't have that right, when I 108 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:25,320 Speaker 4: didn't have what I needed to, when I didn't have 109 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:29,159 Speaker 4: my bearings, when I didn't have what I needed to 110 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:34,320 Speaker 4: navigate in the world. I can think what's coming up 111 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:43,800 Speaker 4: for me are maybe moments in time, but not extenuating circumstances, 112 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:48,960 Speaker 4: and when I reflect on that, that makes me feel 113 00:06:49,839 --> 00:06:57,080 Speaker 4: incredibly blessed. Right, I can recall moments growing up in 114 00:06:57,120 --> 00:07:02,960 Speaker 4: the single parent household where I know that there was 115 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:08,280 Speaker 4: a struggle to maybe pay the bills right, But for 116 00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:13,480 Speaker 4: me as an individual in those moments, it wasn't necessarily 117 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:18,559 Speaker 4: something that I had to sit with right. My mom 118 00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:24,440 Speaker 4: was shown during that responsibility, and so as a kid 119 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:29,200 Speaker 4: during those times, we always had a roof over our head. 120 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:34,000 Speaker 4: We always had clothes to wear, even if I might 121 00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:36,960 Speaker 4: not have liked the clothes, we had clothes to wear, right. 122 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:43,400 Speaker 4: There was always food. I might not have liked the options, 123 00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:47,760 Speaker 4: but there was food. And even if there were moments 124 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:50,680 Speaker 4: when our lights might have gotten cut off because she 125 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:53,160 Speaker 4: forgot to pay the bill or couldn't pay the bill, 126 00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:57,040 Speaker 4: there was always a way to make it work. So 127 00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:59,680 Speaker 4: maybe we lift candles, or maybe we went to a 128 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:05,760 Speaker 4: relatives house. And so I think about in childhood there 129 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:11,240 Speaker 4: being like moments where it may have seemed unstable, but 130 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:16,240 Speaker 4: in the bigger picture things were stable. We were, I, 131 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:19,920 Speaker 4: as an individual, was able to navigate things because my 132 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:25,000 Speaker 4: mom showed her that responsibility, right, And so I share 133 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,880 Speaker 4: that piece to think for us to kind of think 134 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:33,400 Speaker 4: about and reflect on when we speak about experiencing or 135 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:38,360 Speaker 4: feeling unstable, are the feelings because of things that we 136 00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:46,640 Speaker 4: have control over or because of external circumstances, right, So 137 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:50,960 Speaker 4: I think when I think about external circumstances that I 138 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:54,960 Speaker 4: didn't have control over that made it difficult to figure 139 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:58,600 Speaker 4: out how to navigate the world around me, I think 140 00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:02,280 Speaker 4: about like those it was first couple of weeks, first 141 00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:06,840 Speaker 4: couple of months in the pandemic, right going back to 142 00:09:07,679 --> 00:09:16,080 Speaker 4: March twenty twenty, and thinking about not knowing, so not 143 00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:21,679 Speaker 4: really knowing, not being able to predict what's gonna happen tomorrow, 144 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:27,080 Speaker 4: what's going to happen next week. And so because there 145 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:34,800 Speaker 4: was that inability to predict, things felt uncertain, and so 146 00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:39,920 Speaker 4: I couldn't have my bearings because things felt too uncertain, 147 00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:45,600 Speaker 4: too unknown. It was unprecedented for all of us. And 148 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:49,560 Speaker 4: so I think that's probably the most recent time that 149 00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:55,280 Speaker 4: I can recall where I truly felt unstable. I've had 150 00:09:55,360 --> 00:10:02,520 Speaker 4: stressful times, lots of stressful moments, in life yea, but 151 00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:08,079 Speaker 4: in terms of feeling unstable, the start of the pandemic 152 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:13,640 Speaker 4: was probably the most unstable that I can recall in adulthood. 153 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:18,360 Speaker 1: All Right, lady, it's about that time. Dom and I 154 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,480 Speaker 1: want to share a few sponsors with you that we 155 00:10:20,559 --> 00:10:23,840 Speaker 1: believe you'd enjoy. So stay tuned to get those promo 156 00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:27,840 Speaker 1: codes and we'll hop right back into this informative conversation. Lady, 157 00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:30,080 Speaker 1: I don't mean to get all over your business, but 158 00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:32,840 Speaker 1: I have a serious question for you. How have you 159 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:35,560 Speaker 1: been caring for yourself lately. I don't know about you, 160 00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:37,959 Speaker 1: but I've been investing in my self care heavy as 161 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,840 Speaker 1: of late. Okay, the world is a little preik pray 162 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:42,720 Speaker 1: and I need to keep myself calm, cool and collected. 163 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:47,800 Speaker 1: So for me, this includes spiritual bads, working out, and meditation. Now, 164 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:50,560 Speaker 1: the funny thing is when I first started meditating, I 165 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:54,319 Speaker 1: could only meditate for about a minute. Seriously, I just 166 00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:57,680 Speaker 1: couldn't focus. My mind was racing. I am one of 167 00:10:57,679 --> 00:10:59,640 Speaker 1: those people where it feels like I have a million 168 00:10:59,679 --> 00:11:02,240 Speaker 1: thoughts running through my mind per minute and it's very 169 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:04,880 Speaker 1: hard for me to focus. And I also struggle with anxiety. 170 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:07,160 Speaker 1: So I'm that person that's in bed trying to get 171 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:10,400 Speaker 1: to sleep, and my thoughts are just running, running through 172 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:13,200 Speaker 1: my head, running through my head. Right, But I've started 173 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:16,839 Speaker 1: using Calm and now I can say that I've meditated. 174 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:19,000 Speaker 1: I think the longest I've meditated these days is probably 175 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:21,800 Speaker 1: around thirty to forty minutes, which is huge for me. 176 00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:23,800 Speaker 1: And if you're thinking to yourself, well, what am I 177 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:25,040 Speaker 1: supposed to do for all that time? 178 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:25,480 Speaker 3: Girl? 179 00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:27,160 Speaker 1: We got you. 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So let's get into the deeps now. 197 00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:35,839 Speaker 1: I started taking ag one because I often struggle to 198 00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:38,520 Speaker 1: get enough greens in my diet, but as we all know, 199 00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:41,719 Speaker 1: it's important for us. I've also been working on prioritizing 200 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:44,880 Speaker 1: better gut health, so this was perfect for me. A 201 00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:47,200 Speaker 1: model that I'm really trying to adopt these days is 202 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:51,240 Speaker 1: eat to live instead of living to eat. With one 203 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:54,600 Speaker 1: delicious group of ag one, you're absorbing seventy five high 204 00:12:54,720 --> 00:13:00,679 Speaker 1: quality vitamins, minerals, whole food source, superfoods, and probiotic. I 205 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:03,319 Speaker 1: literally begin my morning with eight ounces of water and 206 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:05,640 Speaker 1: my one scoop of AGE one before I start my 207 00:13:05,679 --> 00:13:08,080 Speaker 1: meditation and as I'm tiding up the house. It really 208 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:09,760 Speaker 1: helps me to start my day off on the right foot, 209 00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:11,960 Speaker 1: because if I don't get as many vegetables throughout the day, 210 00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:14,480 Speaker 1: I know I'm good because I invested in my all 211 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:17,960 Speaker 1: in one nutritional insurance in the morning. Okay, right now, 212 00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:21,040 Speaker 1: it's time to reclaim your health and arm your immune 213 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:24,880 Speaker 1: system with convenient daily nutrition. It's literally one scoop and 214 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:27,840 Speaker 1: a cup of water every day. That's it. 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I think I think a lot of 225 00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:00,199 Speaker 1: people are going to resonate with that example because as 226 00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:03,480 Speaker 1: we all went through that together, so it's like, yeah, 227 00:14:03,559 --> 00:14:05,640 Speaker 1: gir I remember, I mean, that's a why that's such 228 00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:07,840 Speaker 1: a wild time, and I think that that was more 229 00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:10,960 Speaker 1: than two years ago at this point, right crazy crazy 230 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,959 Speaker 1: with you, Donald, I'm thinking about right, I'm thinking about 231 00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:18,880 Speaker 1: two of the things we mentioned. One thing when you're 232 00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:22,840 Speaker 1: like unstable from a mental perspective, but things are stable 233 00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:24,920 Speaker 1: on the outside. And that's the example. I think about 234 00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:27,160 Speaker 1: what I talked about on the show before, but I 235 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:30,120 Speaker 1: think back to the period in my life when I 236 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:31,800 Speaker 1: was in grad school, and for me, let me just 237 00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:35,600 Speaker 1: say when I think about stability and what it looks 238 00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:37,720 Speaker 1: like in action in my life, there are a few 239 00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:39,120 Speaker 1: things right, and I think many of us are going 240 00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:41,240 Speaker 1: to connect with this. Basically needs to meet right. So 241 00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:44,680 Speaker 1: you have shelter, you have food for me, a working 242 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:47,240 Speaker 1: vehicle or some kind of way to like, you know, 243 00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:53,640 Speaker 1: get around, reliable transportation. I would say, consistent and sufficient income, 244 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:57,240 Speaker 1: so knowing where's where's my money coming from, where the 245 00:14:57,320 --> 00:15:00,400 Speaker 1: bad coming from, like where these coins coming from. That 246 00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:02,920 Speaker 1: I would also say for me, though, it's like time 247 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:05,600 Speaker 1: for self care and like time to just be like 248 00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:08,160 Speaker 1: if I'm go go go constantly to me that I 249 00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:11,040 Speaker 1: don't feel very stable, that in that moment, I need 250 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:14,520 Speaker 1: space to just be, to breathe, to journal, and then 251 00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:17,520 Speaker 1: I need to have my checkbook balance I am. So 252 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:20,720 Speaker 1: I'm like old school. I still manage my checkbook. It 253 00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:24,040 Speaker 1: is in an app now I used literally just recently 254 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:26,600 Speaker 1: moved from pay for checkbook. But for me that is 255 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:30,120 Speaker 1: so comforting to know, like, Okay, all my books are balanced, 256 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:31,720 Speaker 1: I know how much money I have, Like I know 257 00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:34,320 Speaker 1: what's going on for me. That is what it looks 258 00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:36,480 Speaker 1: like in action. And so I would say when I 259 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:40,280 Speaker 1: was in grad school and I had my own apartment, 260 00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:42,240 Speaker 1: I had a car, I was getting my degree, I 261 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:46,520 Speaker 1: had money. But for me, the instability came from the 262 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:49,400 Speaker 1: mental I was all fucked up on the inside, and 263 00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:51,280 Speaker 1: so I was struggling with low self esteem. I was 264 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:54,040 Speaker 1: trying to manage this new area that I was living 265 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:56,040 Speaker 1: in because I had just moved to a different city 266 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:59,120 Speaker 1: by myself, and I was trying to find myself. And 267 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:00,800 Speaker 1: for me, that was a point in life where a 268 00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:05,280 Speaker 1: lot of the childhood trauma that I experienced what's coming 269 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:08,440 Speaker 1: up for me? Okay, Dom really quick, I'm going to 270 00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:10,400 Speaker 1: be very still, y'all. I have beads in my hair. 271 00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:13,120 Speaker 1: I'm doing like a throwback look right now, Alicia Keys 272 00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:15,680 Speaker 1: giving Alicia Keys and like childhood beats. So I'm going 273 00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:18,400 Speaker 1: to stop moving so much, don and that'll I think 274 00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:20,800 Speaker 1: that'll help us. Okay, thank you, girl, Donalds. Just let 275 00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:23,120 Speaker 1: me know y'all, like girl, your beads are moving. Okay, 276 00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:25,200 Speaker 1: so I'm going to be very still. But does that 277 00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:28,760 Speaker 1: make sense down like from a mental perspective? And so 278 00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:31,520 Speaker 1: interesting because when I thought before having this conversation with you, 279 00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:34,040 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, yeah, if my basic needs are met, 280 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:37,040 Speaker 1: like I'm good, I'm stable. But it's like, no, that 281 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:39,840 Speaker 1: actually isn't the case because I experienced that before where 282 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:42,600 Speaker 1: the external was good, but it was the internal where 283 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:44,280 Speaker 1: I was struggling. And I do want to talk about 284 00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:46,640 Speaker 1: I want to hear you chiming don on like the internal, 285 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:49,200 Speaker 1: but I also want to talk about some of the 286 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:52,600 Speaker 1: unhealthy ways in which we may show up and cope 287 00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:54,480 Speaker 1: when things are not stable, because I know I have 288 00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:58,120 Speaker 1: some toxic, unhealthy habits when things are not going well 289 00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:00,720 Speaker 1: for me, and I'd love to just dive into those 290 00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:03,080 Speaker 1: with y'all. So what do you think I'm about? The mental? 291 00:17:04,359 --> 00:17:07,160 Speaker 4: Yeah, I think the mental bring that's a good point, right, 292 00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:14,760 Speaker 4: that you if you are experiencing intense anxiety, if you 293 00:17:15,119 --> 00:17:25,000 Speaker 4: are experiencing significant depression, there are things, yeah, built and schizophrenia, 294 00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:31,200 Speaker 4: other mental health concerns, maybe ADHD, maybe bipolar disorder. All 295 00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:38,480 Speaker 4: of those things can cause instability, right, and you're absolutely 296 00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:43,680 Speaker 4: right that that mental instability is a big factor in 297 00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:48,160 Speaker 4: how we show up in the world and how we 298 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:54,200 Speaker 4: perceive the world around us. And so when we think about, yeah, 299 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:58,040 Speaker 4: when we think about mental stability, it is important to 300 00:17:58,080 --> 00:17:59,600 Speaker 4: take that into consideration. 301 00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:03,600 Speaker 1: That's so powerful because it really is all about perspective, 302 00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:06,760 Speaker 1: and when you think about the mental not being stable, 303 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:09,000 Speaker 1: it does shift how you see the world, and then 304 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:12,280 Speaker 1: that impacts how you show up. So right, and for me, 305 00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:16,120 Speaker 1: I would say that when I had those moments of 306 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:18,560 Speaker 1: I think back to being in toxic relationships because I 307 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:20,600 Speaker 1: feel like whenever I was in the past, you know, 308 00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:24,040 Speaker 1: in a toxic relationship, I felt like I was sometimes 309 00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:27,040 Speaker 1: in like a fog or a daze where I would 310 00:18:27,119 --> 00:18:30,200 Speaker 1: be tolerating stuff I didn't want to tolerate. I would 311 00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:32,840 Speaker 1: just find myself. I felt like a zombie in some 312 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:35,879 Speaker 1: ways because I didn't realize how going to be gentle 313 00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:40,600 Speaker 1: with myself. I didn't realize how detrimental my decisions were 314 00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:43,120 Speaker 1: until I was on the other side. Right, they say, 315 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:45,160 Speaker 1: hindsight is twenty twenty. So I look back, like, girl, 316 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:48,199 Speaker 1: you put up with that shit? Girl, what's wrong with you? 317 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:50,600 Speaker 1: And in the moment it just I just felt like 318 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:52,480 Speaker 1: I was just stuck. I was stuck like Chuck, and 319 00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:54,560 Speaker 1: I was just going through the motions and doing that. 320 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:57,760 Speaker 1: So for me when I'm not stable, not all the time, 321 00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:00,000 Speaker 1: but like historically this is these are things that I've 322 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:03,120 Speaker 1: participated in. So I just wrote a little list here. Alcohol. 323 00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:05,440 Speaker 1: I remember my senior year in college, I was going 324 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:08,320 Speaker 1: through a lot of stuff and I was drinking a lot, 325 00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:11,560 Speaker 1: and I think I was doing that to numb myself 326 00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:14,800 Speaker 1: from not feeling whatever I was feeling. I would also 327 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:19,240 Speaker 1: indulge in frivolous sex that was just meaningless. It was 328 00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:22,359 Speaker 1: just like like not even knowing, like why am I 329 00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:25,159 Speaker 1: even participating this, or sometimes not even wanting to, but 330 00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:28,879 Speaker 1: just like doing it anyway, lowering my standards, especially in 331 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:32,879 Speaker 1: relationships and friendships, and not wanting to be alone, like 332 00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:35,960 Speaker 1: whatever I could do to really numb not thinking about 333 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:39,160 Speaker 1: my predicament or not having to face myself. Those were 334 00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:41,480 Speaker 1: some of the things that I did during those times. 335 00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:47,320 Speaker 4: And all of those things are common. And I use 336 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,399 Speaker 4: the word and I'm going to say use air quotes, 337 00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:57,679 Speaker 4: mormal responses right to instability, right like those things to 338 00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:02,239 Speaker 4: numb yourself. So drug use alcohol, all use sex that 339 00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:10,000 Speaker 4: you're not being intentional about, like avoiding being alone or isolating, 340 00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:14,560 Speaker 4: so there's so and intentionally isolating, shutting everyone out so 341 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:17,000 Speaker 4: that you don't have to engage right, so that you 342 00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:21,040 Speaker 4: don't have to address what's really coming up for you. 343 00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:26,760 Speaker 4: All of those things are common and normal responses to 344 00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:30,159 Speaker 4: to instability, you know. I think about with the pandemic, 345 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:36,159 Speaker 4: how there you saw so many people posting, particularly like 346 00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:40,200 Speaker 4: I saw parents posting about how much alcohol was being 347 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:46,119 Speaker 4: consumed right and in the middle of the day because 348 00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:48,840 Speaker 4: they were that's there. That was their way of coping 349 00:20:49,119 --> 00:20:56,040 Speaker 4: with the instability, with the unknown. And I think that 350 00:20:56,680 --> 00:21:01,960 Speaker 4: acknowledging that for ourselves is important, recognizing that that was 351 00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:04,840 Speaker 4: that's a coping strategy. It's not healthy, but it was. 352 00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:11,640 Speaker 4: It's a coping strategy. Some people were binge watching television 353 00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:16,640 Speaker 4: for ten hours a day. That's not necessarily healthy either, 354 00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:23,000 Speaker 4: And so really identifying in those moments, like identifying what 355 00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:28,320 Speaker 4: are the things that you're doing to find some stability 356 00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:35,400 Speaker 4: or to not address dealing with the instability. I do 357 00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:38,320 Speaker 4: recognize that a lot of folks when they have mental 358 00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:48,080 Speaker 4: instability will engage in those behaviors to numb, because sometimes 359 00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:54,920 Speaker 4: drinking to the point of intoxication or using drugs get 360 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:58,000 Speaker 4: you to that space where you don't have to Your 361 00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:02,280 Speaker 4: mind shuts off right and so you don't have to 362 00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:06,719 Speaker 4: think about it, you don't have to address it, and 363 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:11,119 Speaker 4: I get it. Doing the engaging in that behavior gives 364 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:20,480 Speaker 4: you that temporary relief. And ideally our brains pursue pleasure 365 00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:25,440 Speaker 4: and avoid pain. So when we're engaging in those behaviors, 366 00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:28,960 Speaker 4: that's sending the message to our brain, this feels pleasurable 367 00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:32,960 Speaker 4: right now in this moment, So we're going to keep 368 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:39,840 Speaker 4: doing it. And so just thinking about, you know, how 369 00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:45,080 Speaker 4: to how we navigate those moments of instability is really important. 370 00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:50,080 Speaker 1: Yes, indeed, yes, indeed, I'm just over here looking at 371 00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:51,840 Speaker 1: our notes and I know we're going to dive into 372 00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:56,040 Speaker 1: these seven ways that you can really find stability during 373 00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:59,840 Speaker 1: unstable times. However, again it's all subjective. So what we 374 00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:01,560 Speaker 1: want you to do, lady, We're going to drop a 375 00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:04,879 Speaker 1: yellow square on our Instagram and you can literally go 376 00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:08,160 Speaker 1: to our Instagram at her Space podcast and just scroll 377 00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:10,000 Speaker 1: until you see a yellow square depending on when you 378 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:12,240 Speaker 1: listen to this episode, and we want you to drop 379 00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:14,479 Speaker 1: your number eight so we're going to share seven, but 380 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,639 Speaker 1: we may have missed something right or there's something that's 381 00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:19,280 Speaker 1: very personal to you that you used in your journey, 382 00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:21,280 Speaker 1: so go share that so that other ladies can check 383 00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:23,280 Speaker 1: it out. So don I guess we'll just dive right 384 00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:26,520 Speaker 1: into number one, and number one is get clear on 385 00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:29,280 Speaker 1: the state of the world. And for me, this means 386 00:23:29,359 --> 00:23:32,320 Speaker 1: getting clear on what's happening in life right now. I 387 00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:35,560 Speaker 1: think that I don't know, you've ever been lost, and 388 00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:37,640 Speaker 1: you have your GPS up and you're just like where 389 00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:40,280 Speaker 1: am I trying to go? And I look at life 390 00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:42,359 Speaker 1: sometimes like I'm in a car and I'm, you know, 391 00:23:42,359 --> 00:23:44,240 Speaker 1: looking at my GPS trying to figure life out. And 392 00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:46,600 Speaker 1: I feel like it's so important to understand where you 393 00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:49,040 Speaker 1: are in order for you to get to where you 394 00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:51,399 Speaker 1: want to be. And so I think just doing a 395 00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:55,440 Speaker 1: quick check right, like a life check on like, Okay, 396 00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:58,399 Speaker 1: what's happening, what's happening, how did I get here? And 397 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:00,240 Speaker 1: where do I hope to be? Even if you don't 398 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:02,320 Speaker 1: have the bandwidth to think about where you want to 399 00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:04,320 Speaker 1: be or not how you're going to get to where 400 00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:07,240 Speaker 1: you want to be right just thinking about it in general, 401 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:09,439 Speaker 1: I think can be really important. I know for me 402 00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:12,720 Speaker 1: sometimes life will just I know recently I felt like 403 00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:14,880 Speaker 1: life just kind of pulled the rug from under me 404 00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:19,000 Speaker 1: and I was like, damn. But journaling and really analyzing 405 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:23,200 Speaker 1: the situation and understanding what happened, why it happened, where 406 00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:25,879 Speaker 1: I am that for me keeps me grounded personally. 407 00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:30,840 Speaker 4: I love that being of tapping into the moment and 408 00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:34,920 Speaker 4: thinking about what's happening in the moment. I also think 409 00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:39,359 Speaker 4: about getting clear on the state of the world also 410 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:42,719 Speaker 4: means not just where you are in you as an 411 00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:47,639 Speaker 4: individual in that moment, but getting clear on what's happening 412 00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:52,080 Speaker 4: around you and how what's happening around you may be 413 00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:57,520 Speaker 4: impacting you, right yess girl, Like I think about at 414 00:24:57,520 --> 00:25:01,240 Speaker 4: the time that we're recording this episode, we still in 415 00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:07,200 Speaker 4: that panoramic We still we are, we are still dealing 416 00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:14,919 Speaker 4: with the pandemic right and we are recording after the 417 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:22,119 Speaker 4: Supreme Court released several unsettling decisions, and so recognizing how 418 00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:28,080 Speaker 4: the state of the world might be impacting where you 419 00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:35,280 Speaker 4: are right now, right and looking at your current landscape, 420 00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:38,960 Speaker 4: as you were saying, is not just about where you 421 00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:47,200 Speaker 4: physically are in this exact moment, but what is the cultural, sociopolitical, 422 00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:55,160 Speaker 4: economic climate that you are sitting in and what role 423 00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:59,840 Speaker 4: do you want to play in it? Right? The night 424 00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:02,960 Speaker 4: be helpful for us to think about on the individual level, 425 00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:06,080 Speaker 4: how we got to where we are as a collective, 426 00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:11,199 Speaker 4: But what role do you want to play in that? 427 00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:15,760 Speaker 4: And so then that takes us to number two, right 428 00:26:16,359 --> 00:26:25,240 Speaker 4: to tapping into your resources. So who's in your network? 429 00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:30,120 Speaker 4: What are the local programs that can offer you assistance, 430 00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:33,480 Speaker 4: what are the online communities that you can connect to? 431 00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:38,240 Speaker 4: You know, just thinking about what it is that you're 432 00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:44,800 Speaker 4: needing in this moment to become stable and accessing those 433 00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:49,720 Speaker 4: resources if you're in a space of mental instability, So 434 00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:54,240 Speaker 4: figuring out how to find a therapist, how to find 435 00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:58,600 Speaker 4: maybe a psychiatrist if you need medication, how to find 436 00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:04,320 Speaker 4: a spiritual if that's the route that feels most aligned 437 00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:11,639 Speaker 4: with you, If you are needing an executive coach or 438 00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:15,080 Speaker 4: career coach, or a life coach, or a financial coach 439 00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:21,320 Speaker 4: or a fitness coach, whatever it might be that's causing 440 00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:27,040 Speaker 4: the instability, Tapping into who are the people, what are 441 00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:33,399 Speaker 4: the organizations that can help you? Right, Google can be 442 00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:37,760 Speaker 4: your best friend and your worst enemy. So I would say, 443 00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:44,440 Speaker 4: you know, buy or beware when you are utilizing Google 444 00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:46,960 Speaker 4: for your resources. As much as we love Google, and 445 00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:50,720 Speaker 4: who would have thought that ten fifteen years ago, I 446 00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:52,840 Speaker 4: wouldn't have thought that we would be using Google to 447 00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:58,240 Speaker 4: figure these things out. Right. Google can be a huge help, 448 00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:04,400 Speaker 4: but again, beware, know how to critically analyze and identify 449 00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:10,000 Speaker 4: the sources of information that you are accessing. 450 00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:14,520 Speaker 1: See what about you? Oh, I would agree with that. 451 00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:16,840 Speaker 1: I think there are some best practices for Googling. A 452 00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:19,200 Speaker 1: lot of times when I talk to some of my 453 00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:21,320 Speaker 1: students about what to google, they're like, well, I don't 454 00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:22,920 Speaker 1: know what to google. I don't know how to search 455 00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:26,080 Speaker 1: for it. So I think really understanding like keywords, right, 456 00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:28,240 Speaker 1: Like how what keywords do you want to type into Google? 457 00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:31,200 Speaker 1: Or you could even you could even google Google best 458 00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:33,440 Speaker 1: practices so you can learn how to google things better 459 00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:35,560 Speaker 1: to get the results that you're looking for. Girl, part 460 00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:37,680 Speaker 1: of me when you were speaking about Google, the back 461 00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:39,080 Speaker 1: of my mind was like, Girl, you could pull out 462 00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:41,320 Speaker 1: the white pages or the yellow pages. But that's like 463 00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:48,160 Speaker 1: old school. That's on Google now, okay, exactly remember that 464 00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:49,800 Speaker 1: back in the day, though, going through the white pages 465 00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:52,120 Speaker 1: y'all and yellow pages. Oh my gosh, So that takes 466 00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:54,960 Speaker 1: us to number three. Number three is let yourself off 467 00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:58,320 Speaker 1: the hook. And for me, what this means is you 468 00:28:58,360 --> 00:29:00,000 Speaker 1: don't need to And this is really a word for me. 469 00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:02,720 Speaker 1: So I know everybody that's listening, Lady, you all don't 470 00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:05,360 Speaker 1: struggle with this. This is just a me thing. Girl. 471 00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:09,160 Speaker 1: You don't need to grind and perform in every season, 472 00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:12,760 Speaker 1: and that is something that I really need to sit with. 473 00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:14,280 Speaker 1: I'm gonna say one more time down for the people 474 00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:14,440 Speaker 1: in the. 475 00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:16,840 Speaker 4: Back, people to go back, people in the. 476 00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:20,760 Speaker 1: Right right, as I raised my hand, you don't need 477 00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:24,000 Speaker 1: to grind and perform in every season. And for me, 478 00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:26,600 Speaker 1: this last incident that I'll maybe dive into on the 479 00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:29,360 Speaker 1: podcast at some point, but this last situation that happened 480 00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:32,560 Speaker 1: that really shook my family and I. I had a 481 00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:35,120 Speaker 1: bunch of goals and things that I wanted to focus on. 482 00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:37,480 Speaker 1: I thought I wanted to focus on during that time, 483 00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:39,160 Speaker 1: but I had I decided to put them on the 484 00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:41,560 Speaker 1: back burner and really, Domina, we even talked about this. 485 00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:43,640 Speaker 1: We were like, Okay, some of the goals that we have, 486 00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:46,560 Speaker 1: we're gonna revisit them in a couple months and we're 487 00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:49,400 Speaker 1: gonna coast right now. Sometimes it's okay to coast. Lisa 488 00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:51,960 Speaker 1: Nichols one of my favorite motivational speakers. She did a 489 00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:54,640 Speaker 1: talk one time and she was saying, you know, it's 490 00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:57,560 Speaker 1: okay for you to pull over on the side of 491 00:29:57,600 --> 00:29:59,960 Speaker 1: your journey and take a break and to regroup. Like 492 00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:02,480 Speaker 1: it's cool even if other people are flying by you, 493 00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:05,400 Speaker 1: because sometimes as an overachiever, that can be a bit 494 00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:08,240 Speaker 1: bothersome when you're a little stagnant because of your predicament, 495 00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:10,800 Speaker 1: but you see everyone else that's like moving ahead and 496 00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:13,320 Speaker 1: they're doing their thing. But letting yourself know, like it's 497 00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:15,800 Speaker 1: okay for me to just get my bearings and be 498 00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:18,800 Speaker 1: still right now, like that is so crucial. And so 499 00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:20,720 Speaker 1: I just want to remind you, lady, like it's okay 500 00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:23,400 Speaker 1: to let yourself off the hook that resonated with you 501 00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:25,160 Speaker 1: two down what you think it did? 502 00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:26,040 Speaker 5: It did? 503 00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:28,600 Speaker 4: I needed to hear that, and I know there are 504 00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:31,440 Speaker 4: lots of others that need to hear that too, that 505 00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:35,240 Speaker 4: you know, we were in a grind culture right now 506 00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:41,200 Speaker 4: and we don't listen to our bodies and we'll have 507 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:46,800 Speaker 4: a we have another episode on burnout, and so that's 508 00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:51,960 Speaker 4: definitely one to check out, because it is important to 509 00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:55,960 Speaker 4: let yourself off that hook. Like you said, to give 510 00:30:56,000 --> 00:31:05,240 Speaker 4: yourself permission to rest and recharge. It's okay to do it. 511 00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:08,560 Speaker 4: And I keep saying that so that it sits in 512 00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:09,360 Speaker 4: my spirit too. 513 00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:13,440 Speaker 1: Amen, come on. 514 00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:19,520 Speaker 4: And so that takes us to number four. Don't stop dreaming. 515 00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:30,400 Speaker 4: Oh listen, when you stop dreaming, what's the point. What's 516 00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:34,880 Speaker 4: the point of continuing to pursue that next thing if 517 00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:38,719 Speaker 4: you're no longer dreaming about it, right, or you're no 518 00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:48,360 Speaker 4: longer dreaming of something. To me, dreaming no matter how 519 00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:55,040 Speaker 4: big or small, gives us that space to kind of 520 00:31:55,320 --> 00:32:03,280 Speaker 4: just be creative, right. It gives us that space to 521 00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:11,240 Speaker 4: think about all of the possibilities. And oftentimes it's in 522 00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:17,000 Speaker 4: those moments when we find the inspiration or the motivation 523 00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:23,240 Speaker 4: or a new idea comes about and maybe a solution 524 00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:28,840 Speaker 4: to another problem. And so I would say, just yeah, 525 00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:35,080 Speaker 4: don't stop dreaming. Really allow yourself that space to really 526 00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:37,480 Speaker 4: think about what it is that you want out of life. 527 00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:40,120 Speaker 4: What are your hopes and your wishes. 528 00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:43,840 Speaker 1: I would agree with that down. I would say that 529 00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:46,480 Speaker 1: one of the things, especially when you're in a stage 530 00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:49,440 Speaker 1: of you know, instability is to remember that you are 531 00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:51,640 Speaker 1: not defined by where you are in your journey. And 532 00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:54,760 Speaker 1: I think that is something that really it's a quote 533 00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:57,480 Speaker 1: that I really leaned into during some of my rough 534 00:32:57,480 --> 00:33:02,320 Speaker 1: patches because I sometimes got a little discouraged when I 535 00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:04,400 Speaker 1: thought about my dreams in the midst of where I was, 536 00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:08,080 Speaker 1: because it didn't seem as realistic anymore because of I 537 00:33:08,120 --> 00:33:10,880 Speaker 1: was in a lower energy state at that time and 538 00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:14,200 Speaker 1: just really surviving and not really thriving. And so as 539 00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:17,280 Speaker 1: I began to navigate and like work through those thoughts 540 00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:20,600 Speaker 1: and that experience, I began to brain dump and just 541 00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:22,720 Speaker 1: continue to write down, Okay, once I do get settled, 542 00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:24,280 Speaker 1: this is what I want to do. And now that 543 00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:25,680 Speaker 1: I am settled, I'm able to do a lot of 544 00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:28,440 Speaker 1: those things. But again, letting yourself off the hook means 545 00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:30,440 Speaker 1: let me just do a brain dump of the goals 546 00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:33,080 Speaker 1: that I have so that when I do have a 547 00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:36,479 Speaker 1: chance to actually take action on my dreams. I have 548 00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:38,440 Speaker 1: a list here, and I'm not like, hmm, what do 549 00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:40,240 Speaker 1: I want to do? Like you already have it, you know, 550 00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:43,880 Speaker 1: in the chain, but waiting for you, did you want 551 00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:44,560 Speaker 1: to say something else? 552 00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:47,280 Speaker 4: Yes, I do want to come back to something that 553 00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:51,120 Speaker 4: you mentioned about being low energy, right, that when we're 554 00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:54,959 Speaker 4: in those spaces of low energy, and you know, I 555 00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:58,680 Speaker 4: said something earlier about like what's the point, right, So 556 00:33:58,720 --> 00:34:01,360 Speaker 4: when you have those types of questions coming up for 557 00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:04,560 Speaker 4: you when you're in that low energy space, I would 558 00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:10,080 Speaker 4: also use that as information for yourself to know that 559 00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:12,960 Speaker 4: to one of recognize that's a sign that you are 560 00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:17,880 Speaker 4: feeling unsable and then go and get help. Right that 561 00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:20,680 Speaker 4: if you're in that low energy energy space when you're 562 00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:24,839 Speaker 4: not able to dream or hope or wish, that that 563 00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:29,960 Speaker 4: could be a sign of some depression and know that 564 00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:36,680 Speaker 4: it's okay, it's important actually to go and seek out help. 565 00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:39,759 Speaker 1: Yes, I'm so glad you said that. It made me 566 00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:41,000 Speaker 1: think of something else, But I'm going to try to 567 00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:42,800 Speaker 1: say focused and if it comes back to me, we'll 568 00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:45,439 Speaker 1: dive into it after. But the fifth one here, Lady, 569 00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:49,480 Speaker 1: is surround yourself with good energy. And when I think 570 00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:53,600 Speaker 1: about this particular point, it makes me think back to 571 00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:58,360 Speaker 1: my pregnancy journey, and we've talked about the goals that 572 00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:01,480 Speaker 1: I have for my birth and Lady, my goal was 573 00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:05,760 Speaker 1: to have a home water berth unmedicated, and I realized 574 00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:07,919 Speaker 1: throughout my pregnancy journey that as I began to share 575 00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:13,919 Speaker 1: this with folks, some people had either bad experiences or 576 00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:16,920 Speaker 1: a fear mindset, or they were just projecting, and they 577 00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:19,160 Speaker 1: would say things that kind of just hit me a 578 00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:21,800 Speaker 1: certain way where I was like, oh, Okay, I probably 579 00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:24,320 Speaker 1: won't share anything else with them because it just wasn't 580 00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:26,759 Speaker 1: on the vibration that I was trying to cultivate for 581 00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:28,960 Speaker 1: myself and my family. And so I would say, you, 582 00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:31,840 Speaker 1: especially when you're vulnerable, you definitely want to be mindful 583 00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:35,120 Speaker 1: of who you are around and who you're letting pour 584 00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:37,719 Speaker 1: into you. That goes for the content you're consuming on 585 00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:41,480 Speaker 1: social media. I've had to take fast and unfollow the 586 00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:44,600 Speaker 1: shade Room. I'm sorry, y'all like my gossip, but sometimes well, 587 00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:46,200 Speaker 1: my energy is not in a good space. I just 588 00:35:46,239 --> 00:35:49,160 Speaker 1: can't consume certain content because it's just it just doesn't 589 00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:50,960 Speaker 1: do anything for me because I'm not strong enough to 590 00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:53,000 Speaker 1: be able to take it in right or I'm just 591 00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:55,920 Speaker 1: in that state. I also want to think of a 592 00:35:56,040 --> 00:35:59,600 Speaker 1: visual right so I'm in a studio right now, dom 593 00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:00,920 Speaker 1: you have a chair that you're sitting and I have 594 00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:02,640 Speaker 1: a chair that I'm sitting in. If you think about 595 00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:04,160 Speaker 1: the activity I'm sure we used to do when we 596 00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:05,719 Speaker 1: were younger, where you stand up on a chair and 597 00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:07,440 Speaker 1: you have to try to pull someone up. It's a 598 00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:10,080 Speaker 1: lot easier for someone to pull us down when you're 599 00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:12,520 Speaker 1: standing on the chair versus you pull someone up on 600 00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:14,000 Speaker 1: the chair with you. And so I like to think 601 00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:17,400 Speaker 1: of that image when it comes to you being in 602 00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:20,480 Speaker 1: a vulnerable state and maybe you aren't stable in life 603 00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:22,560 Speaker 1: and you need some support right now. You really want 604 00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:24,759 Speaker 1: to be mindful of who you're surrounding yourself with so 605 00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:27,279 Speaker 1: they don't pull you down. And then you look up 606 00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:28,920 Speaker 1: and you're like, God, damn, how did I get here? 607 00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:33,640 Speaker 4: Right? So I'd love that visual that is a perfect 608 00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:41,319 Speaker 4: visual of what that need when you're unstable, right, or 609 00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:45,720 Speaker 4: how someone else, how the energy around you could cause 610 00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:51,680 Speaker 4: you to become unstable, right, because I'm if i'm looking, 611 00:36:51,719 --> 00:36:55,440 Speaker 4: if I'm visualizing, then if I'm on the chair and 612 00:36:55,480 --> 00:37:01,320 Speaker 4: I'm good, right, if you are or pulling me down, 613 00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:07,120 Speaker 4: then now I'm not stable anymore. Right. But in order 614 00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:11,640 Speaker 4: for me to pull you up, I have to first 615 00:37:11,719 --> 00:37:14,439 Speaker 4: In order for that to work, I have to first 616 00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:20,160 Speaker 4: stabilize myself. That's what makes it easy when I stabilize myself, 617 00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:26,920 Speaker 4: and in those moments, chances are if we're working together, 618 00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:31,239 Speaker 4: then that means that you are saying things to uplift me. 619 00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:37,200 Speaker 4: I'm saying things to motivate you, and before you know it, 620 00:37:37,239 --> 00:37:42,160 Speaker 4: we're both standing on that chair together. So I love 621 00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:46,719 Speaker 4: that visual of what it means to really and the 622 00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:53,360 Speaker 4: importance and necessity to surround yourself with good energy. And 623 00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:57,560 Speaker 4: so then that takes us to tip number six. Get 624 00:37:57,719 --> 00:38:02,000 Speaker 4: clear on what stability looks like given the current circumstance. 625 00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:08,320 Speaker 4: So again, each of us is unique and has unique 626 00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:12,520 Speaker 4: needs and what stability looks like for us, and depending 627 00:38:12,719 --> 00:38:17,120 Speaker 4: on the stage and phase of our life, that's what 628 00:38:17,239 --> 00:38:24,319 Speaker 4: stability looks like will be different. Right, So what I 629 00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:34,319 Speaker 4: need as an adult mid career to be stable might 630 00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:39,520 Speaker 4: look different in the middle of a pandemic did look 631 00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:48,840 Speaker 4: different than myself in graduate school, right or even early 632 00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:53,000 Speaker 4: in my career. And I know for sure it's going 633 00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:56,160 Speaker 4: to look different towards the end of my career when 634 00:38:56,200 --> 00:39:03,880 Speaker 4: I'm mirroring retirement. And so you want to truly be 635 00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:10,680 Speaker 4: clear on what you need to have to have your 636 00:39:10,719 --> 00:39:16,839 Speaker 4: bearings so that you can navigate your current circumstances, and 637 00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:22,000 Speaker 4: part of that also requires flexibility recognizing that what I 638 00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:28,680 Speaker 4: needed for stability in February twenty twenty was different than 639 00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:33,440 Speaker 4: what I needed in March twenty twenty, and so just 640 00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:38,480 Speaker 4: being clear on what stability looks like for you in 641 00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:39,520 Speaker 4: the current moment. 642 00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:43,600 Speaker 1: I love that you said that, Don, because honestly, at 643 00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:45,680 Speaker 1: the end of the day, most of us, I want 644 00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:47,640 Speaker 1: to say, all of us really are doing the best 645 00:39:47,680 --> 00:39:49,759 Speaker 1: we can with the tools that we have and the 646 00:39:49,840 --> 00:39:52,640 Speaker 1: level of self awareness and knowledge that we have, and 647 00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:56,239 Speaker 1: that takes us to number seven, lady, which is self care, right, 648 00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:58,719 Speaker 1: And we have so many episodes about self care, so 649 00:39:58,840 --> 00:40:00,759 Speaker 1: definitely go check those out. But Don, one of the 650 00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:02,279 Speaker 1: things I want to touch on when we talk about 651 00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:04,640 Speaker 1: self care too is that I don't know about you, 652 00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:08,239 Speaker 1: but I've come a long way in my journey with 653 00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:11,960 Speaker 1: confidence and self esteem and in my career and all 654 00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:15,719 Speaker 1: these things. However, my struggles, like the mental struggles that 655 00:40:15,719 --> 00:40:18,200 Speaker 1: I have here and there, whether it's hormonal or whether 656 00:40:18,239 --> 00:40:20,799 Speaker 1: it's just like my mind is just going through something 657 00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:22,880 Speaker 1: right now, Like there are still moments where I struggle 658 00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:27,320 Speaker 1: with unworthiness and imposter syndrome, and I have low confidence moments, 659 00:40:27,480 --> 00:40:30,400 Speaker 1: moments of being insecure, and I feel like sometimes I 660 00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:32,160 Speaker 1: don't know if people do this to us, but I 661 00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:34,600 Speaker 1: know that I used to put people that were either 662 00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:36,640 Speaker 1: public figures or people that I admired, I put them 663 00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:38,320 Speaker 1: on a pedal stool and I'd be like, oh, that person, 664 00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:42,000 Speaker 1: they probably don't struggle with that, or really separating myself 665 00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:44,640 Speaker 1: from them when it came to the human experience and 666 00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:47,960 Speaker 1: what we experience. And I think we all have struggles 667 00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:49,279 Speaker 1: and I think we're going to continue to have them 668 00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:51,920 Speaker 1: until the day that we die. So yeah, I think 669 00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:54,080 Speaker 1: it's important for us to just say that, like you 670 00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:57,439 Speaker 1: are not a lone lady, like I be struggling some days, okay, 671 00:40:57,480 --> 00:41:01,080 Speaker 1: And I know sometimes Domini like vulltext girl, like I'll 672 00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:03,000 Speaker 1: be struggling sometimes. And I think it's important for us 673 00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:05,839 Speaker 1: to really talk about the fact that it happens. Like 674 00:41:06,239 --> 00:41:07,920 Speaker 1: a couple months ago, I was like on the bathroom 675 00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:11,200 Speaker 1: floor crying, like having a breakdown, Like it happens, you know, 676 00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:13,719 Speaker 1: like it's it's happens to the best of us, and 677 00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:15,799 Speaker 1: it's okay, you know what I mean. So I want 678 00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:17,120 Speaker 1: to talk more about self care, but I want to 679 00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:20,360 Speaker 1: see down if you had something to share about that. 680 00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:24,640 Speaker 4: I appreciate you sharing that because that's real, right, that like, 681 00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:34,439 Speaker 4: just because someone has a a title does not take 682 00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:40,120 Speaker 4: away from their humanness, their humanity, right, And that all 683 00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:44,640 Speaker 4: of us, no matter how evolved we are, still have 684 00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:51,840 Speaker 4: our moments, right. I still have moments where I'm like crying, 685 00:41:52,120 --> 00:41:55,200 Speaker 4: balling my eyes out. And it might and it varies, right. 686 00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:58,719 Speaker 4: Sometimes it might be that I am all my eyes 687 00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:01,160 Speaker 4: out because I'm reading a book watching something on TV 688 00:42:01,239 --> 00:42:05,239 Speaker 4: and it really pulled at my heart strengths. Or it 689 00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:12,560 Speaker 4: might be that there was something that happened and it 690 00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:18,359 Speaker 4: really got to me emotionally and I needed to give 691 00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:24,920 Speaker 4: myself that space to cry it out. And I think 692 00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:28,279 Speaker 4: that that's also that's part of good self care, is 693 00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:35,560 Speaker 4: letting ourselves feel those emotions, because personally, I believe that 694 00:42:35,680 --> 00:42:39,600 Speaker 4: when we hold it in, that's what's gonna lead to 695 00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:46,840 Speaker 4: the instability mm hmm, because our body is going to 696 00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:49,520 Speaker 4: keep finding ways to tell us, so it needs to 697 00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:52,560 Speaker 4: come out m hm. So if we don't want to 698 00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:57,480 Speaker 4: let it out in through our tears, it's going to 699 00:42:57,560 --> 00:43:01,440 Speaker 4: show up some other kind of way. You how do 700 00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:02,560 Speaker 4: you want it to show. 701 00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:06,440 Speaker 1: Up okay, because the body, your body is keeping score. 702 00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:08,600 Speaker 1: Our bodies are keeping score, and I just want to 703 00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:10,680 Speaker 1: touch on some really quick self care lady, just like 704 00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:13,600 Speaker 1: and I honestly was thinking of free self care methods 705 00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:16,560 Speaker 1: because I know for me, like I was doing some 706 00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:18,600 Speaker 1: of my you know, massages and all that stuff, and 707 00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:20,480 Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, my budget's a little tight right now, 708 00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:22,919 Speaker 1: so let me go ahead and capitalize on these free 709 00:43:22,920 --> 00:43:24,920 Speaker 1: self care options. So for me, that's like a walk 710 00:43:25,040 --> 00:43:27,640 Speaker 1: right nature, being out on nature. Sometimes it's so horrid 711 00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:30,520 Speaker 1: when I'm in that state of like depression or I'm struggling, 712 00:43:30,760 --> 00:43:32,080 Speaker 1: and it's so hard for me to open up the 713 00:43:32,120 --> 00:43:34,080 Speaker 1: curtains and get outside. But once I do it, I'm like, 714 00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:36,080 Speaker 1: I'm so glad I did this. It was so good 715 00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:42,200 Speaker 1: for my spirit. So walking, dancing, moving your body, working out, journaling, 716 00:43:42,560 --> 00:43:45,640 Speaker 1: I'm already said crying. I think also just catching up 717 00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:47,719 Speaker 1: with you know, family or friends or people that give 718 00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:50,839 Speaker 1: you good energy, a nice FaceTime call if you can't 719 00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:53,200 Speaker 1: see folks in person. So those are some of the 720 00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:56,360 Speaker 1: ways in which I was leaning into self care recently. 721 00:43:57,640 --> 00:43:59,480 Speaker 4: I love those, I think, and I think that it 722 00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:02,239 Speaker 4: is good to think about the free things right, and yeah, 723 00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:09,080 Speaker 4: think about the things that don't require much effort in 724 00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:11,319 Speaker 4: terms of oh, I have to have this product in 725 00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:13,520 Speaker 4: order to do this, because I think about people. You know, 726 00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:18,400 Speaker 4: the current phase of okay, self care looks like taking 727 00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:22,720 Speaker 4: a bubble bath and having Manni petty and doing facials 728 00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:26,840 Speaker 4: and all that that requires money, that requires products. It 729 00:44:26,880 --> 00:44:29,200 Speaker 4: doesn't require any money to step outside and walk outside 730 00:44:29,239 --> 00:44:34,440 Speaker 4: your door dancing. I mean, yes, you could pay to 731 00:44:34,480 --> 00:44:37,400 Speaker 4: go dancing somewhere, but you know, you could take a 732 00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:39,080 Speaker 4: t work class. You know, you could take a full 733 00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:41,720 Speaker 4: dancing class like all those day to get into the club. 734 00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:47,440 Speaker 4: But you could turn on some music and dance for 735 00:44:47,480 --> 00:44:49,560 Speaker 4: free right in your living room or in your bedroom 736 00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:53,200 Speaker 4: or naked in the mirror in your bathroom, whatever works 737 00:44:53,200 --> 00:44:57,320 Speaker 4: for you, you know. And so figuring out, like you said, 738 00:44:57,360 --> 00:45:00,319 Speaker 4: no matter what your budget is, there are ways for 739 00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:02,040 Speaker 4: you to take care of yourself. 740 00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:05,680 Speaker 1: That's right, that's right. And lady, we're gonna do a 741 00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:08,520 Speaker 1: very quick recap and then we want you to go 742 00:45:08,560 --> 00:45:10,520 Speaker 1: to Instagram and we're gonna tell you what to do again, 743 00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:13,000 Speaker 1: just in case you forgot. So we have number one, 744 00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:15,480 Speaker 1: get clear on the state of the world. We have 745 00:45:15,560 --> 00:45:20,120 Speaker 1: number two, tap into your resources. Number three, let yourself 746 00:45:20,120 --> 00:45:24,960 Speaker 1: off the hook girl. Number four, don't stop dreaming. Number 747 00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:29,080 Speaker 1: five surround yourself with good energy. Number six get clear 748 00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:32,560 Speaker 1: on what stability looks like given the current circumstance. Number 749 00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:35,359 Speaker 1: seven is self care. And then number eight we want 750 00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:38,360 Speaker 1: you to go to our Instagram at her Space podcast. 751 00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:41,239 Speaker 1: Scroll scroll, scroll until you see the yellow square. It's 752 00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:43,840 Speaker 1: gonna be a yellow square and it's gonna be our insider. Okay, 753 00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:46,160 Speaker 1: So anyone that comments, we're gonna know you listened to 754 00:45:46,160 --> 00:45:49,120 Speaker 1: this whole episode because you would have commented and shared 755 00:45:49,160 --> 00:45:49,600 Speaker 1: your number. 756 00:45:49,640 --> 00:45:49,799 Speaker 4: Eight. 757 00:45:50,200 --> 00:45:52,239 Speaker 1: Other people that are following us and they didn't listen, 758 00:45:52,280 --> 00:45:53,880 Speaker 1: they're gonna be like, what's going on? What do we 759 00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:56,160 Speaker 1: even do on this post? I'm confused, but you got 760 00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:58,120 Speaker 1: the t So go do that, lady. We'll see you 761 00:45:58,200 --> 00:45:59,839 Speaker 1: in the comment section. Anything else. 762 00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:03,000 Speaker 4: Can't wait to read your comments. 763 00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:09,000 Speaker 1: Ay, hey lady, it's Terry here from the Cultivating her 764 00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:12,879 Speaker 1: Space podcast. I'm hosting a free podcasting masterclass where I'm 765 00:46:12,880 --> 00:46:15,880 Speaker 1: going to teach you how to create your impactful podcast 766 00:46:16,280 --> 00:46:19,279 Speaker 1: and how you can generate multiple streams of income. You 767 00:46:19,320 --> 00:46:23,480 Speaker 1: can visit podcast with Terry dot com to register for free. 768 00:46:23,640 --> 00:46:24,640 Speaker 1: I hope to see you there. 769 00:46:26,560 --> 00:46:30,760 Speaker 5: Thanks for joining us today. Please note that our show 770 00:46:30,840 --> 00:46:36,759 Speaker 5: may contain conversations about self help, advice, self empowerment, and 771 00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:40,000 Speaker 5: mental health, but is by no means meant to be 772 00:46:40,040 --> 00:46:44,320 Speaker 5: a substitute for an ongoing formal relationship with a trained 773 00:46:44,360 --> 00:46:48,400 Speaker 5: mental health provider. If you are someone you know is 774 00:46:48,440 --> 00:46:51,760 Speaker 5: in need of mental health care, please visit a Therapy 775 00:46:51,800 --> 00:46:57,720 Speaker 5: for Black Girls directory Psychology today or contact your insurance provider. 776 00:46:58,280 --> 00:47:00,200 Speaker 6: If you liked what you heard and wanted to get 777 00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:05,160 Speaker 6: the conversation going, visit our website at cultivatinghirspace dot com 778 00:47:05,520 --> 00:47:07,799 Speaker 6: and be sure to click the Patreon tab to get 779 00:47:07,840 --> 00:47:13,839 Speaker 6: access to video content, bonuses, and our weekly after show and. 780 00:47:13,880 --> 00:47:17,640 Speaker 1: Before we meet again, repeat after me. Just because I 781 00:47:17,640 --> 00:47:19,960 Speaker 1: can do it all doesn't mean I have to do 782 00:47:20,040 --> 00:47:20,440 Speaker 1: it all.