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Speaker 1: We are so attached to the idea of who we are,

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Speaker 1: you know, whether it's designed by what our parents always

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Speaker 1: said about us. But sometimes I find I would get

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Speaker 1: so attached to that that then I would be afraid

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Speaker 1: to let go because I don't want to lose me.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to lose me and me, I know me.

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Speaker 1: If I want to lose me, do I love me? Hey? Everyone,

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Speaker 1: welcome back to On Purpose, to number one health podcast

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Speaker 1: in the world. Thanks to each and every one of

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Speaker 1: you that come back every week to listen, learn and grow.

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Speaker 1: Now you know that one of my favorite ways to

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Speaker 1: learn is by learning people's stories, by diving into their hearts,

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Speaker 1: their minds, their souls if they're willing to share that

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Speaker 1: and try and understand what we can learn, what we

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Speaker 1: can hear, what we don't understand. Maybe there's a part

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Speaker 1: of their journey that we didn't know enough about. And

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Speaker 1: I've found stories become a huge compass for me in

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Speaker 1: my life, and that's why I try and share those

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Speaker 1: with you here. And today's guest is someone that I've

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Speaker 1: actually wanted to talk to for a long long time.

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Speaker 1: I would say I'd probably trying to book this podcast

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Speaker 1: for like two years in the making, so I'm very

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Speaker 1: very excited this evening. And just so you know, he's

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Speaker 1: had a crazy busy day. It is officially seven forty

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Speaker 1: five pm on a Monday night when we're recording this

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Speaker 1: in New York City. I'm talking about the one and

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Speaker 1: only someone who needs no introduction, Trevor. Noah, Trevor, thank

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Speaker 1: you so much for doing this. Thank you very much.

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Speaker 1: I'm very grateful to have you in the seat. Finally,

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Speaker 1: it's good. I'm grateful to be talking to you in person.

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Speaker 1: Most of the time I see you, I'm watching a

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Speaker 1: clip of yours online, so this is nice. No I

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Speaker 1: really appreciate this. And my interview with you that we

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Speaker 1: did when I was out talking about Calm was my

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Speaker 1: favorite interview from that whole experience because I felt that

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Speaker 1: the questions you asked me were the most reflective. They

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Speaker 1: were pushing me, they were challenging me in a healthy way,

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Speaker 1: and I was just like, oh, well, you know, I

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Speaker 1: want to sit down more and have more of those conversation.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for you so anyway, but I want to

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Speaker 1: start with you. But you know, your book Born at

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Speaker 1: Crime is brilliant, brilliant work, and I don't want to

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Speaker 1: go through the whole book. I'd love for people to

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Speaker 1: read it if they haven't. But I guess what I'm

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Speaker 1: fascinated by is human experiences when we were children or

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Speaker 1: early on in our lives that shaped us today. And

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Speaker 1: I know you've reflected on that a lot, But now,

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Speaker 1: when you reflect on it today, what are some of

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Speaker 1: the examples of human experiences that you had that you

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Speaker 1: think shaped who you are today? Was one of the

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Speaker 1: earliest memories. Maybe My mom is a Bible scholar, and

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Speaker 1: she reads the Bible every day, not all of it,

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Speaker 1: but she moves through it every single day. What I've

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Speaker 1: found fascinating is that she's been reading the same book

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Speaker 1: for decades now, and every day she'll send me an

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Speaker 1: email or a message about a scripture and how it

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Speaker 1: pertains to her life as she sees it now in

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Speaker 1: this moment, how it has been, and how she thinks

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Speaker 1: it will be. And what I found particularly fascinating about

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Speaker 1: that is the fact that it's the same book and

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Speaker 1: yet it keeps meaning so many different things to her.

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Speaker 1: The same story, but it keeps meaning so many different things.

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Speaker 1: And I sometimes think about my life in that way.

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Speaker 1: Is depending on where I am depending on the moment,

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Speaker 1: depending on where I've been and where I'm going, The

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Speaker 1: same experience reveals a different parts of me. The same

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Speaker 1: experience reveals why I am who I am, or why

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Speaker 1: I'm doing what I'm doing, or why I even have

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Speaker 1: an idea of who I am or why I am.

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Speaker 1: And so recently, maybe since you know you're asking me,

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Speaker 1: what is one of these things? What is something I

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Speaker 1: think back to how not having shaped how I see

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Speaker 1: the world, shaped how I move in the world. You know,

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Speaker 1: not having food, sometimes, not having money, sometimes not even

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Speaker 1: having luxury items sometimes you know, whether it be clothing

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Speaker 1: or cause, whatever it may be. But but recently I've

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Speaker 1: I've found myself going man, so much of how you

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Speaker 1: define yourself is through the lens of having or not having,

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Speaker 1: particularly because of how you grew up. And so it's

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Speaker 1: it's not about having or not having now, but it's

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Speaker 1: in the small things, you know, It's like how I

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Speaker 1: order food or why I order the food that I do,

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Speaker 1: in the way that I do it is partially because

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Speaker 1: of having or not having. And so I would say

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Speaker 1: that's maybe one of the biggest experiences that I find

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Speaker 1: has um Yeah, has recently been like just shining and

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Speaker 1: lights on how I grew up. Yeah, that's fascinating. I've

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Speaker 1: often reflected on something similar, and I've called it gifts

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Speaker 1: or gaps they're having or not having. Interesting. So certain

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Speaker 1: gifts that I had growing up, like be handed to

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Speaker 1: me by my parents or by my family. Oh wow, okay, right,

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Speaker 1: then all of the gaps, well, there were gaps, like

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Speaker 1: there were things that you didn't have. So whether that

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Speaker 1: would be a present parent or a I didn't have

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Speaker 1: the latest Nike sneakers or Nike shoes as we would

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Speaker 1: call it, yeah, exactly, like yeah, ye American, sound like

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Speaker 1: an idiot exactly, Nike and Adidas yes, as I say,

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Speaker 1: added as not Adidas. And so those kind of gaps

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Speaker 1: And obviously those are very crude examples. But and do

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Speaker 1: you find yourself editing those now, Like do you find

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Speaker 1: yourself saying, Okay, I didn't have this, and therefore I

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Speaker 1: have this behavior. I did have this, and therefore I

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Speaker 1: have this behavior. Do you feel like your behavior today

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Speaker 1: wants an upgrade because of your new lifestyle or a

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Speaker 1: downgrade or you kind of think, no, I'm happy living

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Speaker 1: with the same beliefs and values and systems. That I

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Speaker 1: had from back then. All I'm constantly trying to do

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Speaker 1: is acknowledge them. I try my best to eliminate good

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Speaker 1: or bad. I really do. And the reason I do

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Speaker 1: that is not because you know, I exist in a

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Speaker 1: spiritual world, although I think we all do, but not

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Speaker 1: because of that. I think of it more because I

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Speaker 1: realized everything and everyone is going to have a good

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Speaker 1: or bad you know. So I have yet to meet

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Speaker 1: a person who doesn't think some parts of their childhood

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Speaker 1: were tough. Yes, but now it's when we compare the

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Speaker 1: toughness that that people then say, oh, actually, I didn't

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Speaker 1: have it tough. You had it tough and and you know,

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Speaker 1: like people will say to me, oh, man, you grow

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Speaker 1: up so poor in South Africa and you know, growing

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Speaker 1: up in the township and whatever. And I would say

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Speaker 1: to them, I didn't feel like this because I would see,

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Speaker 1: for instance, the slums in India. I got like, man, yo,

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Speaker 1: And and maybe I was lucky, funny enough, because in

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Speaker 1: South Africa we had news that was was global, and

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Speaker 1: because it was, it was so I think it was

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Speaker 1: so broad. I had an awareness, so I didn't think

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Speaker 1: what I was living through was the worst possible thing. Yes,

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Speaker 1: but now relative to how many other people lived, they've

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Speaker 1: put me down at the bottom of a list. Yes, yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: and yeah, And so I often don't think of it

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Speaker 1: as good or bad. I just try and go, oh,

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Speaker 1: that happened, that didn't happen because of that, I adapted accordingly.

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Speaker 1: You know. So you know there's there's a lot of rainfall,

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Speaker 1: so then this plant will start growing in that way

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Speaker 1: there isn't as much rainfall, the plant will grow another way.

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Speaker 1: Is it good or is it bad? That's oftentimes something

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Speaker 1: that's subjective because of who runs the world or who

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Speaker 1: tells us how the world should be or isn't or

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Speaker 1: you get what I'm saying. Yeah, no, And I love

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Speaker 1: that you've simplified it as awareness, because that awareness or

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Speaker 1: acknowledgement of keeping it that way is often quite sacred

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Speaker 1: to be able to say no, I'm just observing. I'm

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Speaker 1: just saying and yeah, it's hard. And you reminded me

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Speaker 1: I was. I was nine years old when I first

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Speaker 1: visited India. I was born and raised in London, but

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Speaker 1: my mum I was actually was born and raised in Yemen,

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Speaker 1: and my father was born and raised in India. But

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Speaker 1: my parents are in what part of India. My father

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Speaker 1: was from Mangalore, which is like southern India, and my

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Speaker 1: mother is from Guda, which is northern India. But she

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Speaker 1: was born and raised in Yemen, so she moved to

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Speaker 1: London when she was sixteen. But when I went to

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Speaker 1: India for the first time, when I was nine years old,

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Speaker 1: I remember we were in a car and we were

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Speaker 1: not well off, so we weren't staying in a fancy

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Speaker 1: hotel or whatever, but we had enough money to visit,

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Speaker 1: which is significant for the air flight. And I remember

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Speaker 1: going in this car and you just sparked this, and

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Speaker 1: I remember like stopping at a traffic light and just

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Speaker 1: looking out, and I saw these slums, and I mean,

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Speaker 1: I'd never seen something like that in London. And I

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Speaker 1: saw these little legs poking out of like a barrel

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Speaker 1: of a trash can, and I was just and the

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Speaker 1: legs looked little like of someone my age like around

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Speaker 1: and then slowly I saw her whole body come out

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Speaker 1: and it was this girl and she didn't have any hands,

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Speaker 1: and she'd just been like trying to scrape the bottle.

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Speaker 1: And I remember being nine years old, and she was

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Speaker 1: probably like maybe the same age maybe a little less

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Speaker 1: like and I remember just looking at her and feeling

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Speaker 1: like totally helpless because I was in a car on

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Speaker 1: the other side of the highway and I can't go

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Speaker 1: and help or I want to, but I also don't

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Speaker 1: know what helped means as a nine year old, and

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Speaker 1: there was one of those experiences that you know, and

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Speaker 1: then I went back. I remember to my hotel and

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Speaker 1: I remember hearing like someone was arguing about not enough

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Speaker 1: menu options on the buffet, and it was just it

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Speaker 1: was as it was like connecting the dots, as you're

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Speaker 1: saying of like, you know, when you see your experience

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Speaker 1: and then you see someone else's experience, have you found

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Speaker 1: that what you did go through that you ever needed

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Speaker 1: to process it or heal it, or because you had

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Speaker 1: that perspective since day one, that you never needed that

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Speaker 1: that it was just like, no, this is my experience

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Speaker 1: and I'm used to it. Or were there moments of

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Speaker 1: where you had to revisit and I work on healing

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Speaker 1: every day. You know. I grew up in a world

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Speaker 1: where we almost didn't have the time and all the

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Speaker 1: resources to heal, and I think for a long time

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Speaker 1: I was very comfortable in accepting that as just being

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Speaker 1: my world. Oh that happened, you know, I shrug it

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Speaker 1: off and you keep on moving. Yeah, you shrug it off.

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Speaker 1: That happened, that happened to you, you know, domestic abuse

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Speaker 1: or okay, poverty, whatever it may be, violence in the

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Speaker 1: community or at home, whatever. Yeah, that happens. You keep

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Speaker 1: it moving. You shrug it off because it is happening,

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Speaker 1: and funny enough, you can grow up. And I knew.

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Speaker 1: I grew up in a world where I created this

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Speaker 1: narrative in my head that it was not bad because

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Speaker 1: it was happening to everyone. Wow. So now most of

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Speaker 1: my life, you know, is spent acknowledging that it was bad,

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Speaker 1: and then spending a lot of time acknowledging how the

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Speaker 1: bad created coping mechanisms or tools that I then use

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Speaker 1: in my life every single day, and how I can

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Speaker 1: accept those parts of myself whilst also not glorify find

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Speaker 1: the things that happened. Just sometimes I fight with a

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Speaker 1: lot of people when they do this. I fight with

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Speaker 1: all my friends, by the way, anyone, anyone. I fight

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Speaker 1: from friends with friends back, I fight with anyone, j anyone.

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Speaker 1: I'm never grateful for suffering. I'm never grateful for pain.

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Speaker 1: I'm never I'm not grateful for those things. What I

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Speaker 1: work to be grateful for is the resiliency that makes

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Speaker 1: us in my family and our ability to adapt. But

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to be grateful for a horrible thing

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Speaker 1: that happened to me or the people in my life. Yes,

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Speaker 1: because we learned how to deal with it. Yeah, you know,

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Speaker 1: I would like to live in a world where my

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Speaker 1: child doesn't have to develop that tool. Let them, yeah,

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Speaker 1: let them, let their tool be. I had to figure out,

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Speaker 1: you know, how to feel good about myself when I

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Speaker 1: couldn't get as many TikTok followers as I want to.

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Speaker 1: Let that fine, let that be their tool. But I

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Speaker 1: I understand the you know, the esoteric idea. I understand

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Speaker 1: what people are saying sometimes, but I'm I'm almost allergic

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Speaker 1: to it because I think sometimes what it does is

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Speaker 1: it justifies what people are going through, or it justifies

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Speaker 1: the idea that we we don't need to do more,

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Speaker 1: or people aren't going through something bad. Because it creates

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Speaker 1: the best. It makes diamonds, it makes it can create diamonds,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, yeah, but what it can also do

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Speaker 1: is pulverize a lot of people into dust. Yeah, you know,

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Speaker 1: and so diamonds are the exception. I'm often careful to

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Speaker 1: think about. You know, Yeah, I'm sure, I'm sure you

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Speaker 1: understand what I mean. Yeah, I mean hearing you. Actually,

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Speaker 1: what I find is that it, at least what I

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Speaker 1: took away from that is that it's the same thought.

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Speaker 1: It's just a deeper level of the same thought, like

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Speaker 1: it's with more clarity. Like it's like, I think sometimes

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Speaker 1: we hear that idea of be grateful for everything or

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Speaker 1: be grateful for the suffering, and if you don't really

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Speaker 1: think that through, you can try and artificially put that

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Speaker 1: band aid. Maybe that's yeah, yeah, and you just kind

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Speaker 1: of try and like, oh yeah, put the band aid on,

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Speaker 1: and put the band aid on of gratitude gratitude. But

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Speaker 1: it's like when you internalize then you process it. That's

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Speaker 1: when you can what you're doing, which is like clearly

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Speaker 1: sectioning it off and saying, I'm not grateful for the

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Speaker 1: act of violence, or I'm not grateful for the suffering,

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Speaker 1: as you said, but I can be grateful for the

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Speaker 1: quality that resilience, etc. Helped me push through. But I

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Speaker 1: think that's to me, that's just a deeper, more refined

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Speaker 1: thought out of practicing gratitude almost Do you think like

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Speaker 1: I've always always wanted to know as, like you know,

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Speaker 1: as a monk, are you forced to just be grateful

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Speaker 1: for everything regardless of what it is. No, I think

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Speaker 1: what you were saying is farm or aligned with what

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Speaker 1: I would think like as. And I think that there's

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Speaker 1: two parts, right, One is what the philosophy tries to

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Speaker 1: share or state, and then it's what you learn in

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Speaker 1: the practice of that philosophy. So if you try and

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Speaker 1: be grateful, like I just had this, this literally just happened,

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Speaker 1: hence I'm talking about it. I just had a double

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Speaker 1: ingunal hernia surgery, which means that both my hernias, which

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Speaker 1: are on either side of my groin, had to have

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Speaker 1: incisions in my stomach mesh. Pretty it's not life threatening,

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Speaker 1: but it's massively inconvenient, and I was I didn't work

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Speaker 1: for three weeks. This is my first week back at

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Speaker 1: work and I'm feeling much. The funniest is when you

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Speaker 1: try and you have like a sneeze or a cough.

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Speaker 1: The first time have you had this? Yeah, and then

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Speaker 1: you don't. Funny is when it happens and the first

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Speaker 1: time you don't realize how painful it would be. And

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Speaker 1: now your body doesn't allow you to cough or sneeze

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Speaker 1: or But it's amazing. It's almost funny to what we're

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Speaker 1: talking about. This is what I mean, right. It is

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Speaker 1: amazing how quickly your body responds to trauma or pain. Yes,

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Speaker 1: it's amazing at how quickly it works to protect you

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Speaker 1: from it. Because if I said you don't sneeze or

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Speaker 1: don't cough for three weeks, it's impossible. Yeah, but one

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Speaker 1: cough and one sneeze when you've had your hernie or

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Speaker 1: any surgery that's abdominal, your body goes. I never want

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Speaker 1: to experience that again. Never. And then you don't you

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Speaker 1: know exactly exactly. I know exactly what you mean. For

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Speaker 1: the first I was scared that I was going to

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Speaker 1: pop my HARNI yes, yes, exactly, Yeah, you go. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And so I'm walking around with a pillow, like halfway

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Speaker 1: through the day. My wife's like, what are you doing.

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Speaker 1: I'm like I might laugh, and she's laughing at me

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Speaker 1: and like you can't make me laugh either. Like I

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Speaker 1: was like, I couldn't watch comedy for three weeks because

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Speaker 1: you can't laugh. It hurt so much. But the reason

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Speaker 1: I brought that up was like, am I grateful I

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Speaker 1: got a hernia? No? Like, why would I be grateful.

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Speaker 1: I've been working out, I eat helped me. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm very I'm a mindful individual, but I

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Speaker 1: ended up with this from whatever, from working out everything.

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Speaker 1: I'm not grateful for the hernia, but I'm grateful for

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Speaker 1: the journey I chose to take during the experience that

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Speaker 1: has helped me have new appreciations. And so I think

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Speaker 1: the point of at least, I mean, going to what

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Speaker 1: you suggested, like, how would a monk think about gratitude.

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Speaker 1: I don't think any quality or value was embodied by

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Speaker 1: force or by prescription without reflection. Okay, if that makes sense,

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Speaker 1: that anything without reflection is practically okay, yeah, not the

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Speaker 1: right way to right, that makes sense. No, I like that.

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Speaker 1: I really do fight with a lot of people about

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Speaker 1: this and no, and I you know, I obviously when

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Speaker 1: I say fights, I mean that's how we're using in

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Speaker 1: the South Africa. Funny enough in India as well. I'm

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Speaker 1: sure you know this. When I was in India, I

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Speaker 1: went recently, and when I loved is how people argue

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Speaker 1: about everything and like one of the guys who is

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Speaker 1: there's a friend of mine now and you know, we're

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Speaker 1: arguing back and forth. We're arguing and then like his

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Speaker 1: friends steps in and he's like driver, He's like, I'm

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Speaker 1: so sorry, driver, please whip I apologize. You know, he's

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Speaker 1: not fighting with you. This is how we do it

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Speaker 1: in India. And I'm like, oh, I was like, this

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Speaker 1: is idea I want to live in this country. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: let's let's get into it. But this is what I

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Speaker 1: I argue with people about sometimes where I say, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't have to be grateful for it, yes, because

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Speaker 1: I often say and maybe I'm maybe I'm wrong here,

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Speaker 1: so I see it I have found for myself and

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Speaker 1: maybe for others. Times we are so attached to the

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Speaker 1: idea of who we are, the story that we've told ourselves,

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Speaker 1: the story that we continue to tell ourselves, who we are,

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Speaker 1: who we wish to be, who we should be. You know,

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Speaker 1: whether it's designed by what our parents always said about us.

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Speaker 1: You're such a quiet child, You're such a lovely person,

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Speaker 1: You're so kind, you're so polite, and you go that

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Speaker 1: I am I should be, then I you know, whatever

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Speaker 1: it may be. But sometimes I find, I would get

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Speaker 1: so attached to that that then I would be afraid

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Speaker 1: to let go of the things that may be holding

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Speaker 1: me back, because I don't want to lose me, Because

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Speaker 1: who is me? If I don't have the pain, who

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Speaker 1: is me? If I don't have the trauma, who is me?

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Speaker 1: If I don't have the mistrust. I don't want to

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Speaker 1: lose me me? I know me? What if I'm not me?

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Speaker 1: I love me? And if I want to lose me,

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Speaker 1: do I love me? And that's what I find the thing.

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Speaker 1: So what I've found helps me, you know. And I'll

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Speaker 1: say to some of my friends as I go, I

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Speaker 1: do not need to live my life believing that I

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Speaker 1: would not be me or I do not love me.

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Speaker 1: If I wish for these things to not happen, but

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Speaker 1: I rather go, I would have learned something else. So

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Speaker 1: I learned a different part of my body. I learned

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Speaker 1: how to work through pain. I learned how to move

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Speaker 1: differently because of a hernia. Fine. Oh, I'm grateful that

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Speaker 1: I can learn. I'm grateful that I can recover. I'm

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Speaker 1: grateful that maybe I even learned how to rest a

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Speaker 1: little bit. Yes, take some time, slow down, jay. But

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Speaker 1: I also sit with it and go. But if I

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Speaker 1: didn't have that hernia, if I didn't have that trauma

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Speaker 1: as a child, I would have had the opportunity to

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Speaker 1: learn something else. So maybe my tool wouldn't have been

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Speaker 1: used on this, it would have been used on something else.

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Speaker 1: And that doesn't diminish me or who I think I am.

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Speaker 1: It just allows me to almost exist infinitely and go, Well,

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Speaker 1: then I can try to be whatever me exists, you know.

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Speaker 1: And you it's like skin It's like, hey, it's like

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Speaker 1: we're always losing us, is what I think. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean the cells in our bodies are changing all

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Speaker 1: the time. Yeah, I'm always trying that. And it's scary,

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Speaker 1: that's yeah, it's scary because I think humans look for

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Speaker 1: certainty as safety, yeah, and security and stability. But I

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Speaker 1: was going to ask you that, like what you started

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Speaker 1: to touch on there, which which which I love, is

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Speaker 1: like identity belonging and these are the things that you

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Speaker 1: talk about so much in your past as well. And

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Speaker 1: what you're basically saying is that, well, if we're open

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Speaker 1: to our identity changing and we're open to our home changing,

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Speaker 1: I mean, do you still feel attached to a sense

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Speaker 1: of home, like what is home to you today? Like,

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Speaker 1: how would you how do you think about the word home?

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Speaker 1: For me, the true definition of the world home is

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Speaker 1: familiar of the family. It's a repeated interaction. That's all

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Speaker 1: home is to me. You know. The reason you call

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Speaker 1: it my home is because you go back to it

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Speaker 1: every single day. If somebody flipped all the furniture and

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Speaker 1: the house every day, you find you wouldn't if you'd

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Speaker 1: say it doesn't feel like home, but it is your home. Yes,

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Speaker 1: you know I think the house, yeah, exactly, my friends

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Speaker 1: or my home. The languages you know, I speak on

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Speaker 1: my home, the food I eat in South Africa as

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00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:51,359
Speaker 1: my home. But my home starts to grow, it starts

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Speaker 1: to change. You know. I said this to a friend

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Speaker 1: of mine when I got back from India. I said, man,

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Speaker 1: it felt like home. And he's like, what do you India?

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Speaker 1: I said, it's crazy, but it felt like home. You know.

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Speaker 1: There are parts of daily ways like this feels like home.

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Speaker 1: You know. There are parts of Bangalore, Bengalau where it's like,

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00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:11,239
Speaker 1: this feels like home. Do you know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: It's like and people like, how can it feel like home?

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00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:16,159
Speaker 1: It's like, well, maybe because part of it is reminiscent,

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00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:19,119
Speaker 1: you know, it reminds me of South Africa. We have

401
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,240
Speaker 1: an Indian population, it's huge, one of the biggest in

402
00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:23,800
Speaker 1: the world. We have Indian culture. But also it's just

403
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:27,080
Speaker 1: it's it feels familiar. It feels like home, and so

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00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:31,040
Speaker 1: for me, that's that's what home means, is a sense

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00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:34,479
Speaker 1: of the familiar. You know, you can even experience randomly,

406
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:36,159
Speaker 1: if you travel a lot in a hotel that you

407
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:40,960
Speaker 1: always frequent, it feels like home. Yeah, so that's what

408
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:45,080
Speaker 1: you know, that's what home means for me. Yeah, it's

409
00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:46,800
Speaker 1: just that you know, and you feel that in New

410
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:48,879
Speaker 1: York too. When you're here, you find that you have

411
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Speaker 1: that because of that familiarity, you feel like I've always

412
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Speaker 1: see you, and always it seems to me like you're

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Speaker 1: always home. I don't know why. That's that's a nice

414
00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:59,520
Speaker 1: thing for you to say. Genuinely, it always seems like

415
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:03,720
Speaker 1: I never feel like you. You're uncomfortable, I never feel

416
00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:05,920
Speaker 1: like you. But I don't know if that's just what

417
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:09,040
Speaker 1: you put out, No I would. It's I was going

418
00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:13,159
Speaker 1: to define it. It's contextually sharing now, but my definition

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Speaker 1: of home has always been where I feel I'm living

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Speaker 1: my purpose. So that's always been my purpose. So and

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00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:23,680
Speaker 1: I genuinely feel like that where I could wake up

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00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:28,159
Speaker 1: and be in another city or another country or another seat.

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00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:31,119
Speaker 1: And as long as this is my like I feel this,

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00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:33,280
Speaker 1: I'm doing my purpose tonight with you. And that's why

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00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:36,120
Speaker 1: I'm here. Help me understand. So how would you because

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00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:38,879
Speaker 1: I can try to understand about what? What would you

427
00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:41,960
Speaker 1: say you feel your purpose is? So my purpose is

428
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:45,159
Speaker 1: to help other people find their purpose, Okay, And to me,

429
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:48,679
Speaker 1: my purpose is to be a vessel of being able

430
00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:54,240
Speaker 1: to expose people to a number of different ideas, insights, paths, stories,

431
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:56,960
Speaker 1: walks of life so that they can find theirs. I

432
00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,920
Speaker 1: don't think everyone's purpose looks like mine. I don't think

433
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:03,040
Speaker 1: everyone's path looks like mine because I think one of

434
00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:04,720
Speaker 1: the best things I got when I was a kid,

435
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:07,760
Speaker 1: and again it goes back to my childhood experiences, my

436
00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:11,080
Speaker 1: dad was really worried that I didn't read enough and

437
00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:14,280
Speaker 1: I would never be interested in reading fiction books at school.

438
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:16,320
Speaker 1: So we'd get the fiction books like goose Bumps and

439
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:19,480
Speaker 1: then later on Harry Potter and all these books, and

440
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:21,960
Speaker 1: I would never read them and I wouldn't have any

441
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:23,600
Speaker 1: interest in them. So my dad was worried and my

442
00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:25,560
Speaker 1: mum was worried that this kid's not going to read.

443
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:28,800
Speaker 1: And now I was back about thirteen going on fourteen,

444
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:31,520
Speaker 1: and I still wasn't reading a lot, and so my

445
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:35,359
Speaker 1: dad started giving me biographies and autobiographies, and so I

446
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:37,280
Speaker 1: read like by the time I was sixteen, I'd read

447
00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:41,240
Speaker 1: Malcolm X Martin, Luther King. Wow. I was also reading

448
00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:43,480
Speaker 1: like David Beckham and Drada L. Johnson because I was

449
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:47,199
Speaker 1: a massive soccer football fan, and so I started just

450
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:50,320
Speaker 1: like collecting all these stories. And then, as I told

451
00:22:50,359 --> 00:22:52,080
Speaker 1: you when I said on your show, like I met

452
00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:53,679
Speaker 1: a monk when I was eighteen, and that was the

453
00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:57,399
Speaker 1: story that my purpose felt connected to God. And so

454
00:22:57,440 --> 00:22:59,600
Speaker 1: now I feel I'm like, well, someone's going to listen

455
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:02,600
Speaker 1: to Trevor story and feel far more connected interest and

456
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:05,720
Speaker 1: that may spark this kid out there to say, hey,

457
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:08,199
Speaker 1: maybe that's the kind of direction I want to go in.

458
00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:10,960
Speaker 1: I feel like today where we're exposed to the same

459
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:14,920
Speaker 1: people online and on TV and streaming, and we're also

460
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:17,919
Speaker 1: exposed to the same parts of them, that's true. And

461
00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:20,120
Speaker 1: my hope is that this podcast, even if you're seeing

462
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:23,080
Speaker 1: someone who's famous and popular like yourself. Hopefully people get

463
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:26,240
Speaker 1: a deeper insight into someone famous and popular, or they

464
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:28,760
Speaker 1: get to meet someone random who's not famous and popular,

465
00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:32,000
Speaker 1: but it's interesting. So anyway, that's that's my purple. So

466
00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:34,040
Speaker 1: I feel like if I'm doing that in a city,

467
00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:38,520
Speaker 1: in a country, I'm home. And it's because one of

468
00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:41,080
Speaker 1: the famous scholars and you two about your mother being

469
00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:44,520
Speaker 1: a scriptural scholar and like such an avid reader. I

470
00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:47,120
Speaker 1: never met this scholar, but my monk teachers would often

471
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:50,959
Speaker 1: quote him, and he said that the only place higher

472
00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:54,800
Speaker 1: than like the spiritual realm, and he would be poetry,

473
00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:57,639
Speaker 1: but also you know literal as well, that the only

474
00:23:57,680 --> 00:24:00,760
Speaker 1: place higher than being in heaven or the virtual realm

475
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:03,679
Speaker 1: is a place you live your purpose. And that idea

476
00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:06,920
Speaker 1: always like connected with me, because then I was like, oh,

477
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:08,439
Speaker 1: so I could be in the middle of chaos but

478
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:11,199
Speaker 1: still feel at holds and so it gives me a

479
00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:14,080
Speaker 1: sense of comfort, and you know, that's what keeps me

480
00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:16,560
Speaker 1: going when the day is tough, when things are going

481
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:19,280
Speaker 1: whatever they are, it's something that comforts me and it

482
00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:23,000
Speaker 1: works for me. If you're spending time with loved ones

483
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:25,919
Speaker 1: for the holidays, chances are you're going to hear a

484
00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:28,959
Speaker 1: lot of stories, the ones you love to hear and

485
00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:31,800
Speaker 1: the ones you've heard too many times. But have you

486
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:35,320
Speaker 1: ever wanted to help your loved ones document these stories.

487
00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:39,240
Speaker 1: Story Worth makes it fun and easy to basically write

488
00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:43,200
Speaker 1: a book of life memories. Every week, story Work will

489
00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:46,760
Speaker 1: email your loved one a life related question that you

490
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:50,200
Speaker 1: picked from their collection, like what's the bravest thing you've

491
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:53,520
Speaker 1: ever done? What are you most grateful for today? Or

492
00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:56,439
Speaker 1: what's your happiest memory this year? All they have to

493
00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:59,320
Speaker 1: do is reply with the story, and then after a year,

494
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:04,440
Speaker 1: story or Worth compiles everything into an exquisite hardcover book.

495
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:07,880
Speaker 1: The whole process is so simple. Get started with your

496
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:10,600
Speaker 1: loved one for the holidays, and before you know it,

497
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:15,000
Speaker 1: you'll both be cherishing those timeless stories for generations to come.

498
00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:18,600
Speaker 1: If you've been listening to our recent Friday episodes, you'll

499
00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:21,360
Speaker 1: know how much of an inspiration my mom has been

500
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:23,840
Speaker 1: on me for my entire life. So when I heard

501
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:27,199
Speaker 1: about story Worth, I was fascinated with how fun and

502
00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:30,600
Speaker 1: simple it is to create a keepsake book full of

503
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:33,919
Speaker 1: all your loved one's wisdom. Story Work is the perfect

504
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:37,200
Speaker 1: Christmas gift for all of your elders, and I'm very

505
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:40,320
Speaker 1: excited to sit down with the family next Christmas to

506
00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:44,320
Speaker 1: share each other's stories. Help your family share the story

507
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:49,040
Speaker 1: this holiday season with story Worth. Go to storyworth dot

508
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:53,000
Speaker 1: com Forward slash jay today and save ten dollars on

509
00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:58,280
Speaker 1: your first purchase. That's st o r y w rt

510
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:03,080
Speaker 1: dot com. Forward slash jay to save ten dollars on

511
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:09,320
Speaker 1: your first purchase storyworth dot com Forward slash jay with

512
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:11,440
Speaker 1: you as the one thing. The thread that I've heard

513
00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:14,320
Speaker 1: in you, which I really appreciated, is like literally three

514
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:17,720
Speaker 1: times you've responded, You've said my friends, my friends. I

515
00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:20,240
Speaker 1: was talking to my friend, Like this person talks a

516
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:23,359
Speaker 1: lot to their friends, which which is really beautiful because

517
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:26,680
Speaker 1: you're thinking, wow, that you're a busy person. You're back

518
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:29,600
Speaker 1: to back. I mean, I remember I was in I

519
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:32,120
Speaker 1: think we were both speaking at the Charger Book Festival.

520
00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:35,119
Speaker 1: You landed. One night, I message you and I said, Trevor,

521
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:38,520
Speaker 1: let's do breakfast. You're like, dude, I leave. I was

522
00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:40,680
Speaker 1: there for eight hours. You were there for like six

523
00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:43,240
Speaker 1: or four. And I was like, I thought I was

524
00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:44,919
Speaker 1: there for not enough to like I was there for

525
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,359
Speaker 1: eight hours and you were like, dude, I'm literally leaving tonight.

526
00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:50,639
Speaker 1: And so you're a busy person. But in this conversation,

527
00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:52,879
Speaker 1: so many times you said friends friends friends friends, friends,

528
00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:57,159
Speaker 1: Like yeah, Like how a, who are the friends? What

529
00:26:57,520 --> 00:26:59,920
Speaker 1: are you talking to them about? Like what's your consistent?

530
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:02,960
Speaker 1: See I'm fascinated by that, because so who are the friends?

531
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:07,400
Speaker 1: Predominantly my friends are from South Africa, friends I met

532
00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:13,440
Speaker 1: doing different things, all all organic meetings, which I'm a

533
00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:17,320
Speaker 1: sucker for. I'm terrible at making friends, partially because I

534
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:20,200
Speaker 1: don't trust people easily. I exist in the world where

535
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:23,959
Speaker 1: I can be friendly with many people, but you know,

536
00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:26,280
Speaker 1: it takes me a while to accept that this person

537
00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:29,880
Speaker 1: is actually a part of my life. And I think

538
00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:32,480
Speaker 1: for a long time it was because and still is

539
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:37,800
Speaker 1: sometimes because a I have an idea of putting something

540
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:40,639
Speaker 1: on that person where I may need them means that

541
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:43,160
Speaker 1: they may disappoint me. And then on the other side

542
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:45,280
Speaker 1: of it, them needing me means I could be in

543
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:49,120
Speaker 1: the position to disappoint them, you know. And And so

544
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:53,120
Speaker 1: as we learn people, I find, we learn what they

545
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:55,840
Speaker 1: can and cannot do, we learn who they are or

546
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:59,639
Speaker 1: are not. And it's always situational for me, you know,

547
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:02,720
Speaker 1: That's that's when I'll call you like a friend. Is

548
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:06,960
Speaker 1: that I know how you are in most situations. Yeah,

549
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:09,960
Speaker 1: you know that that that for me is the definition

550
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:13,199
Speaker 1: of a friend. So you know, I can be we

551
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:15,159
Speaker 1: use it loosely obviously, but you know I can be

552
00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:16,760
Speaker 1: friends with you and we always meet for lunch, always

553
00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:18,600
Speaker 1: me for But but then I only know you in

554
00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:23,960
Speaker 1: one way. My friends, I start to be able to

555
00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 1: I almost almost store in a vault in my mind.

556
00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:31,720
Speaker 1: I can say, for a fact, if we're friends. If

557
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:35,359
Speaker 1: Jay was here, this would bother him. He would like that.

558
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:39,720
Speaker 1: He would probably say this, and that's why he would

559
00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:44,040
Speaker 1: act this way. And that's you know, that's that's how

560
00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:47,880
Speaker 1: I think of my friends. Yeah, so they've been a

561
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,520
Speaker 1: major part of making me feel at home. You know,

562
00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:52,800
Speaker 1: my my my job, stand up comedy is a really

563
00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:56,560
Speaker 1: lonely career, you know. And I remember talking to a comedian,

564
00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:58,360
Speaker 1: it was a few weeks ago, talking about how there

565
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:01,040
Speaker 1: was like a period where all the stand up comedians

566
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:04,520
Speaker 1: we're committing suicide, you know, and would be you'd hear

567
00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:07,360
Speaker 1: this devastating story of a comedian that everyone loved. They

568
00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:10,440
Speaker 1: were in a hotel room and then they committed suicide

569
00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:15,960
Speaker 1: and I was petrified because I always think it can

570
00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:18,920
Speaker 1: happen to me. You know, I go that if that

571
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:20,720
Speaker 1: happened to them, why did it happen? How If I

572
00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:24,280
Speaker 1: don't understand, then what is it? Another comedian, another comedian,

573
00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:26,880
Speaker 1: Another comedian, another comedian. I think being a stand up

574
00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:30,680
Speaker 1: comedian is a really lonely job in that we're traveling

575
00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:33,720
Speaker 1: oftentimes alone. We don't have a band, we don't have

576
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:36,959
Speaker 1: backup dancers, we don't we don't, we don't travel. Can

577
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:40,680
Speaker 1: you imagine? And yet every night you're going out there

578
00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:44,080
Speaker 1: and you're making people love, you're having fun with them.

579
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:46,520
Speaker 1: They come with their families, they come with their friends,

580
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:50,440
Speaker 1: they come with their loved ones. You leave alone and

581
00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:55,960
Speaker 1: and it's this constant exchange of energy. And what I

582
00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:59,400
Speaker 1: learned was my my friends became that hub. My friends

583
00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:03,120
Speaker 1: became my recharge. My friends became the couch I could

584
00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:07,640
Speaker 1: lie on and say nothing or everything. And thanks partly

585
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:10,080
Speaker 1: to technology, I've been able to keep in touch with them.

586
00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:14,280
Speaker 1: There's no there's no catching up for us. It's literally

587
00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:17,600
Speaker 1: a running We've got a WhatsApp thread that is now

588
00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:23,239
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say, fifteen years old, Like literally I can

589
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:26,480
Speaker 1: go back and search something from maybe ten years ago.

590
00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:28,200
Speaker 1: Sometimes I can go back on the WhatsApp there and

591
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:30,120
Speaker 1: go what happened, and I can search and I can

592
00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:32,880
Speaker 1: find it. That's how long we've had the same group

593
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:35,000
Speaker 1: and the same friends and the same everything. And obviously

594
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:38,360
Speaker 1: it's grown over time, but that core has kept me.

595
00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:40,360
Speaker 1: You know, I always think, did you end up reading

596
00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:42,840
Speaker 1: Harry Potter? I didn't ever read it. I've watched all

597
00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:44,440
Speaker 1: the movies. Yeah, oh, do you watched it? Okay, I

598
00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:47,000
Speaker 1: watch till movies. I know. I'm a big fan act Okay, okay,

599
00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:52,239
Speaker 1: So I feel like your friends in life or your

600
00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:56,160
Speaker 1: Hale cruxes. Oh interesting, Okay, you know, yeah, I think

601
00:30:56,160 --> 00:31:00,479
Speaker 1: that's people. What we do is we break ourselves into parts,

602
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:04,280
Speaker 1: and whenever we meet people, we give them a part

603
00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:08,200
Speaker 1: of ourselves. And some people we give more than we

604
00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:10,880
Speaker 1: give others. But we give everyone a different part of ourselves.

605
00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:13,440
Speaker 1: No one in your life has the same part that

606
00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:15,560
Speaker 1: another person has. They may seem similar, but they're not.

607
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:19,440
Speaker 1: Your mother and father hold different parts of you. Your uncles,

608
00:31:19,480 --> 00:31:22,720
Speaker 1: your cousins, your brothers, sisters, your friends, whoever it is,

609
00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:25,280
Speaker 1: they will hold a different parts of you, and the

610
00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:28,120
Speaker 1: same way Voldemort could use that to come back to life.

611
00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:30,920
Speaker 1: I feel like we can use that wow to come

612
00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:32,720
Speaker 1: back to life. Wow. You know what I mean? Yeah,

613
00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:39,520
Speaker 1: you're watch a different movie. Yeah, the Book of my Friend. Yeah,

614
00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:43,200
Speaker 1: And so I always think that is I. I man.

615
00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:45,120
Speaker 1: Sometimes I can be at my worst. I can be

616
00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:47,600
Speaker 1: sometimes I can be lost. Really Jay, there will be

617
00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:49,040
Speaker 1: times when I'll be like, what am I doing? Or

618
00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:51,080
Speaker 1: why am I? I'm stressed, I'm tired, I'm burnt out,

619
00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:54,479
Speaker 1: I feel lost. And I can call a friend and

620
00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:58,120
Speaker 1: no joke. They can say to me, well, the Trevor

621
00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:00,680
Speaker 1: I know, you know, and and I love that they

622
00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:02,320
Speaker 1: say that. They don't say this is who you are

623
00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:05,160
Speaker 1: or not. They go the Trevor I know found his

624
00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:09,080
Speaker 1: joy here. Hey. You know, I've noticed that you're always

625
00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:11,640
Speaker 1: happiest when you do it this way. Hey, I've noticed

626
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:14,720
Speaker 1: that you know you stress more when you're in this person. Hey,

627
00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:19,080
Speaker 1: can I go man? I didn't know that about myself. Well,

628
00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:21,840
Speaker 1: I didn't hold myself that way because I'm always experiencing

629
00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:26,000
Speaker 1: all of me still through my lens. But thank you.

630
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:31,120
Speaker 1: You freed me, you encouraged me, you held me, you

631
00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:36,560
Speaker 1: loved me. And what then happens is I start to

632
00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:39,840
Speaker 1: find what I need to get back to my purpose,

633
00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:43,480
Speaker 1: to my passion, to whatever drives me. And that's why

634
00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:45,600
Speaker 1: my friends are a big part of that. That is

635
00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:49,400
Speaker 1: that is the core of my world, you know. And

636
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:51,640
Speaker 1: and it's funny. My mom even used to say that

637
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:55,560
Speaker 1: to me when I was growing up, you know, at

638
00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:57,720
Speaker 1: a certain age, she said to me, she'd say to me,

639
00:32:57,800 --> 00:32:59,640
Speaker 1: my friend, you know, and I'd be like, I'm not

640
00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:02,440
Speaker 1: your friend, You're my mom. And my mom would say,

641
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:04,120
Speaker 1: just because I'm your mom doesn't mean i'm your friend.

642
00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:05,880
Speaker 1: She said. There are many mothers out there that I'm

643
00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:07,960
Speaker 1: friends with their child. And she said, I'm your mother

644
00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:11,320
Speaker 1: and I will always love you as your mother, but

645
00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:17,040
Speaker 1: you are becoming my friend. And that stuck with me.

646
00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:20,680
Speaker 1: I realized that friendship is a choice. Every other relation

647
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:25,080
Speaker 1: we have isn't, and so even your your relatives can

648
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:27,480
Speaker 1: become your friends or may not be your friends. And

649
00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:30,240
Speaker 1: I think understanding that illuminates a lot of how you

650
00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:34,000
Speaker 1: interact with people in the world. Yeah, I really resonate

651
00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:36,160
Speaker 1: with what I mean, everything you said, But one of

652
00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:39,240
Speaker 1: the things that stood out was that kind of performance

653
00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:44,360
Speaker 1: loneliness and my work mainly started with coaching and working

654
00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:46,520
Speaker 1: with people. And I work with a lot of musicians

655
00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:49,560
Speaker 1: and people who tour and travel, not comedians, but artists,

656
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:52,320
Speaker 1: and you know, they're performing to like one hundred thousand people,

657
00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:54,600
Speaker 1: eighty thousand people. And then they would always talk to

658
00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:57,240
Speaker 1: me about this and I didn't I didn't really have

659
00:33:57,360 --> 00:34:02,680
Speaker 1: a empathetic experience of it. I could understand it theoretically.

660
00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:05,840
Speaker 1: And then because most of the events I used to

661
00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:08,160
Speaker 1: speak out with, like corporate events or like a business

662
00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:10,640
Speaker 1: event or things like that. And then a few years

663
00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:13,320
Speaker 1: ago when I did my first ever event with my audience,

664
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:15,680
Speaker 1: and it was in La people who came because they

665
00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:18,680
Speaker 1: followed my work, not because of anything else. It was

666
00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:20,680
Speaker 1: only about two thousand people in the audience. And I

667
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:24,520
Speaker 1: finished the event and I got into the car and

668
00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:27,839
Speaker 1: it hit me and I was like, oh, like, this

669
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:30,680
Speaker 1: is chemical. This is definitely a chemical, because you've just

670
00:34:30,719 --> 00:34:33,520
Speaker 1: had thousands of people shouting your name and like loving

671
00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:36,120
Speaker 1: everything you say and all this validation and everything else

672
00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:37,719
Speaker 1: as well you were saying when you were coming, like

673
00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:40,920
Speaker 1: the dopamine that everything. And then all of a sudden,

674
00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:43,560
Speaker 1: I was like, wait a minute, this feels weird, Like

675
00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:46,520
Speaker 1: why do I feel like, you know, a sense of loneliness.

676
00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:48,440
Speaker 1: And it was really interesting because I felt like that

677
00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:50,960
Speaker 1: pretty much the whole and I felt like calling someone yes,

678
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:53,920
Speaker 1: and I couldn't because in London it was too early.

679
00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:56,560
Speaker 1: None of my friends would be away, and so they're

680
00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:58,879
Speaker 1: eight hours ahead because I'm in LA and I'm going,

681
00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:01,640
Speaker 1: oh God, wait the hour for my friend to wake up.

682
00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:03,040
Speaker 1: Two hours. I'm not going to wake him up in

683
00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:05,560
Speaker 1: the middle of the night. So I'm waiting there. And

684
00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:07,640
Speaker 1: then all my friends in LA were just at the event,

685
00:35:07,719 --> 00:35:10,000
Speaker 1: so I just saw them, and so they're probably like

686
00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:11,640
Speaker 1: going home, and it was a week night, and so

687
00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:13,719
Speaker 1: maybe then I'm like, I don't want to And then

688
00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:16,840
Speaker 1: I get home and my wife would organize a surprise

689
00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:19,280
Speaker 1: party for me with all my best friends, my closest

690
00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:23,279
Speaker 1: friends in law, and it was like a relief. It

691
00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:26,000
Speaker 1: wasn't even a celebration. I was like, there's a sense

692
00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:28,040
Speaker 1: of relief. I was like, oh, thank God, because I

693
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:29,920
Speaker 1: don't know what. I don't know what I would have

694
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:32,600
Speaker 1: done tonight. Man, Like, you know, I understand why people

695
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:35,399
Speaker 1: turned to drugs. I understand why people turned to I

696
00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:37,319
Speaker 1: understood like it was the first time I was like,

697
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:39,960
Speaker 1: because you need to numb its. Yeah, you need to

698
00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:41,880
Speaker 1: numbage because you just don't know what to do with

699
00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:44,439
Speaker 1: that feeling. And that was the first time I'd felt

700
00:35:44,480 --> 00:35:46,279
Speaker 1: that way. And I can't imagine, as you were saying,

701
00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:49,080
Speaker 1: for someone who's on tour and traveling every night. Drug

702
00:35:49,239 --> 00:35:51,400
Speaker 1: as I said, my drug was chocolates. I love to up.

703
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:54,919
Speaker 1: That was like my I couldn't. It's like my team knew,

704
00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:58,040
Speaker 1: my people knew. It's like I'll do the show and immediately.

705
00:35:58,040 --> 00:36:00,520
Speaker 1: And you probably relate to this more because coming from

706
00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:02,560
Speaker 1: the UK in America, they don't really do it. In

707
00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:07,759
Speaker 1: South Africa. Our petrol stations, our gas stations, right, they

708
00:36:07,840 --> 00:36:10,959
Speaker 1: have amazing stores attached to them. Like here, every gas

709
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:13,399
Speaker 1: station looks like it's already been robbed. You don't want

710
00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:15,880
Speaker 1: to pour gas. I don't like it looks terrible. They

711
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:18,200
Speaker 1: all look abandoned. Yeah yeah, yeah, they all look like

712
00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:20,520
Speaker 1: a ghost. They really did. Yeah. Whereas where we're from,

713
00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:22,280
Speaker 1: it's like, oh, you go and you buy a pie,

714
00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:24,480
Speaker 1: you buy some you do buy a few dreams. It's

715
00:36:24,480 --> 00:36:26,680
Speaker 1: like cooked exactly. It's like, oh, this is life. You

716
00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:29,719
Speaker 1: can get some groceries on though it's a very normal concept,

717
00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:33,240
Speaker 1: and that would be me. After every show I would drive,

718
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:35,480
Speaker 1: there would be the silence. I couldn't listen to music.

719
00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:37,880
Speaker 1: I couldn't. My mind would just be It's like I

720
00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:41,279
Speaker 1: could hear everybody, but they were gone. And then I

721
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:43,600
Speaker 1: would go in and then I would buy chocolate would

722
00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:46,120
Speaker 1: be my thing, it immediately, and then I I you know,

723
00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:48,160
Speaker 1: over the years, I would read and I'd started learning

724
00:36:48,239 --> 00:36:50,719
Speaker 1: that you know, chocolate, the dopamine, the sugar, one of

725
00:36:50,719 --> 00:36:53,520
Speaker 1: these things. I was I was correcting a chemical thing

726
00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:56,239
Speaker 1: without realizing it, because it is a it is a

727
00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:59,759
Speaker 1: shock on your body. Everyone nothing. Yeah, it's it's so

728
00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:03,480
Speaker 1: fascinating that that that experience. And I'm sure people have

729
00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:05,879
Speaker 1: that in different ways in their life, Like you don't

730
00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:08,320
Speaker 1: have to be a performance two thousands of people to

731
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:10,759
Speaker 1: experience that. I think people experienced that in lots of

732
00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:14,720
Speaker 1: different ways. It's beautiful that you've been able to continue

733
00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:17,359
Speaker 1: this tenure WhatsApp chat like that's you know, that's like

734
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:20,520
Speaker 1: a brilliant achievement. How did you do in such a

735
00:37:20,520 --> 00:37:23,399
Speaker 1: way that when you became unrelatable to people? Like, how

736
00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:27,520
Speaker 1: has that affected your friendships, your life, your relationships, Because

737
00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:30,640
Speaker 1: at one point. I'm guessing. You know, when when you

738
00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:33,040
Speaker 1: come to America, you crush on the Daily Show, things

739
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:36,600
Speaker 1: are going great, you know, times one hundred most influential

740
00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:39,400
Speaker 1: people like, crushing took some time. But yeah, okay, no, no,

741
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:41,239
Speaker 1: of course, no, no, no no, no, it tooks it. I

742
00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:43,839
Speaker 1: mean it too, like it actually goes into your goes

743
00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:47,120
Speaker 1: into your question. Yeah, And I just think that there's

744
00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:51,480
Speaker 1: an interesting thing about being so grounded and like, I'm

745
00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:54,160
Speaker 1: enjoying this conversation. It's it's fun. We're like just having

746
00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:56,560
Speaker 1: a real conversation. But at the same time, to a

747
00:37:56,560 --> 00:37:59,640
Speaker 1: lot of people externally, you can start becoming more unrelatable.

748
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:01,840
Speaker 1: So what's interesting is the reason I the reason I

749
00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:05,520
Speaker 1: put it in, the reason I say the crushing wasn't instant.

750
00:38:06,840 --> 00:38:10,360
Speaker 1: When you're on a journey, people oftentimes will remember the

751
00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:15,680
Speaker 1: beginning of the journey and they will define the journey

752
00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:19,080
Speaker 1: by the way it currently is or how it ended.

753
00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:22,000
Speaker 1: You know, you lived a good life because of how

754
00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:26,040
Speaker 1: your life ended. If somebody is, you know, really poor

755
00:38:26,120 --> 00:38:28,399
Speaker 1: for eighty years, then they win the lottery at eighty

756
00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:29,759
Speaker 1: and then they buy their family stuff and they have

757
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:31,399
Speaker 1: a good People were like, man, it was tough body.

758
00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:35,520
Speaker 1: We had a good life, did they? Though it's more like, oh,

759
00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:39,320
Speaker 1: we remember that. That ending is what we often remember.

760
00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:46,000
Speaker 1: And to your point of relatable, My journey was really interesting,

761
00:38:46,040 --> 00:38:50,680
Speaker 1: particularly in America, because for many months, maybe even a

762
00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:53,319
Speaker 1: year and a bit, I was hated, you know, by

763
00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:55,120
Speaker 1: many people. Don't get me wrong, there many people who

764
00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:58,239
Speaker 1: loved me, but it was such a visceral understandable, but

765
00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:01,960
Speaker 1: this will response to me as a concept, who are you?

766
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:04,319
Speaker 1: How dare you? You? On the show what you know?

767
00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:08,239
Speaker 1: And you're trying to establish imagine trying to meet people

768
00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:10,279
Speaker 1: for the first time, but they have an idea of you,

769
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:12,040
Speaker 1: and they've already decided what the idea of you is,

770
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:17,239
Speaker 1: and so you you you can't even relate or make

771
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:21,280
Speaker 1: yourself relatable to them, and then overnight, all of a sudden,

772
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:24,239
Speaker 1: people go, are you crushing it? It's a it's a

773
00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:26,919
Speaker 1: it's a really weird space to be in because it's

774
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:30,799
Speaker 1: it's terrible, and then it's not. But your brain doesn't

775
00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:35,120
Speaker 1: shift that quickly. I remember learning once that the human

776
00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:39,640
Speaker 1: brain and the human body aren't necessarily always on the

777
00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:43,000
Speaker 1: same page. If you're running from danger, if there's if

778
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:46,160
Speaker 1: there's a threat and you run from the danger. Even

779
00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:49,160
Speaker 1: when the danger subsides, your body's still in the danger.

780
00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:51,759
Speaker 1: And yeah, I think I think they talk about something

781
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:53,480
Speaker 1: similar in the book The body keeps the score, but

782
00:39:55,320 --> 00:39:57,560
Speaker 1: your body's still there, and your mind goes, hah, all right,

783
00:39:57,600 --> 00:40:00,600
Speaker 1: oh okay, I'm done. Your body's like, oh hot, pumping,

784
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:04,640
Speaker 1: you know, veins, throbbing, everything is still happening. And you

785
00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:07,120
Speaker 1: know that that was part of my experience. But what

786
00:40:07,239 --> 00:40:10,319
Speaker 1: was interesting was to your points of relatable. I didn't

787
00:40:10,320 --> 00:40:14,200
Speaker 1: even have a moment to exist in relatable. It was stranger.

788
00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:18,319
Speaker 1: You know, don't like different, weird? Why do you say

789
00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:21,840
Speaker 1: words the way you do? You know? What is aluminium?

790
00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:26,439
Speaker 1: All these things coming together and then oh, yeah, our guy,

791
00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:29,840
Speaker 1: you know which I'm grateful for internally grateful. I was

792
00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:32,840
Speaker 1: telling my people everyone, I go, yo, do not forget,

793
00:40:33,239 --> 00:40:36,480
Speaker 1: Do not forget how hard this was, Do not forget,

794
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:40,520
Speaker 1: Do not take it for granted. But what happens is

795
00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:45,520
Speaker 1: it's not that you don't become relatable or you aren't relatable,

796
00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:49,160
Speaker 1: or it's it's it's how people relate to you. They

797
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:52,839
Speaker 1: have one idea of who you are, they have one

798
00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:57,640
Speaker 1: idea of of how you are, and It's understandable because

799
00:40:57,680 --> 00:41:00,080
Speaker 1: of how they interact with you. You know. I I

800
00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:05,680
Speaker 1: have two younger brothers, both, in my opinion, far wiser

801
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:09,280
Speaker 1: than I'll ever be. Always, always, you know, I'll custom

802
00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:11,719
Speaker 1: out and say, you guys, you guys cheated because you

803
00:41:12,040 --> 00:41:13,640
Speaker 1: like took what I did and then you just like

804
00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:17,320
Speaker 1: you leap frogged me, you know. And and my youngest

805
00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:19,279
Speaker 1: brother said one of the most beautiful things. One day,

806
00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:21,680
Speaker 1: we were trying to have dinner as a family, and

807
00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:24,480
Speaker 1: we're taking a quiet moment, and you know, someone came

808
00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:25,759
Speaker 1: over to the table and they're like, hey, can I

809
00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:27,920
Speaker 1: get a selfie? And and this is happening in the

810
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:30,600
Speaker 1: dinner and you know, and and and someone who was

811
00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:33,120
Speaker 1: with us said, oh, man, that must get annoying. And

812
00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:34,799
Speaker 1: I was like, well, I get it. And I said,

813
00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:39,000
Speaker 1: I just don't understand the familiarity and the I don't

814
00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:41,200
Speaker 1: understand it truly. And my brother said one of the

815
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:45,040
Speaker 1: most interesting things. He said, No, what you're not understanding

816
00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:51,960
Speaker 1: is a disconnect in your relationship, in the relatability. He said,

817
00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:55,680
Speaker 1: You've met them, and they've talked to you, and you've

818
00:41:55,719 --> 00:41:58,319
Speaker 1: had a conversation with them, and so they've built up

819
00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:01,359
Speaker 1: a relationship with you, but they don't understand that you

820
00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:03,520
Speaker 1: haven't been building up the same relationship with them. And

821
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:05,960
Speaker 1: so they, he said, they're reacting to you as naturally

822
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:10,800
Speaker 1: as they would had you been conversating with them constantly.

823
00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:14,799
Speaker 1: And so he said, if anything, they're acting normally, you're

824
00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:17,360
Speaker 1: acting weird because they go, hey, Trevor, and You're like,

825
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:18,560
Speaker 1: who the hell are you? And I'm like, what do

826
00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:20,600
Speaker 1: you mean? We've been friends for seven years? What's you

827
00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:24,680
Speaker 1: on TV? Every day? And just through that Lens he

828
00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:29,440
Speaker 1: helped me understand that it's it's that they were misrelating, yes,

829
00:42:29,520 --> 00:42:31,120
Speaker 1: And that's sometimes what happens to us, I think as

830
00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:34,480
Speaker 1: people is we're misrelating. We have an idea of the

831
00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:39,160
Speaker 1: thing that isn't incorrect from our point of view, yes,

832
00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:42,120
Speaker 1: but is incorrect from the other person's points of view.

833
00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:46,320
Speaker 1: And so that's what creates the conflict, That's what creates

834
00:42:46,360 --> 00:42:49,480
Speaker 1: the disconnect, and that's what creates the loneliness, that's what

835
00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:52,960
Speaker 1: creates the isolation, that's what creates the you know, yeah,

836
00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:57,040
Speaker 1: it creates an environment that doesn't lend itself to familiarity,

837
00:42:57,400 --> 00:43:01,600
Speaker 1: to trust, to relaxation. I think that's where it becomes

838
00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:07,000
Speaker 1: even more important to find your grounding, to find your space,

839
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:08,879
Speaker 1: to find you. Like my friends know me in the group,

840
00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:13,719
Speaker 1: I'm notorious as the vacation guy. I'm the holiday guy. Really,

841
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:15,520
Speaker 1: I'm like, where are we going? What are we doing?

842
00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:18,279
Speaker 1: We're making this happen. I shoot out a list and

843
00:43:18,320 --> 00:43:21,439
Speaker 1: everything because I don't live back home. Yes, they all do.

844
00:43:21,640 --> 00:43:23,319
Speaker 1: So I've learned they can take for granted the fact

845
00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:24,799
Speaker 1: that we will see each other, and they might go like, oh,

846
00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:27,920
Speaker 1: did we plan anything for December? Oh we didn't. Oh, well,

847
00:43:28,120 --> 00:43:31,080
Speaker 1: well we'll do. No. I can't take it for granted,

848
00:43:31,480 --> 00:43:33,359
Speaker 1: and so they know I go every year, I'm like, guys,

849
00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:34,759
Speaker 1: what are we doing? And what are we doing here?

850
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:36,400
Speaker 1: Three times a year we have to be in the

851
00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:39,520
Speaker 1: same place. And doesn't mean we're going somewhere fancy. No,

852
00:43:39,719 --> 00:43:41,640
Speaker 1: we might just find a place a house and we

853
00:43:41,719 --> 00:43:43,960
Speaker 1: sit together and that's what it's going to be. But

854
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:48,280
Speaker 1: I make it happen because of that relats ability, because

855
00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:51,480
Speaker 1: that is where I can exist. They can exist. I

856
00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:54,480
Speaker 1: can exist, they can exist, you know. Because sometimes what's

857
00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:56,000
Speaker 1: funny is it can go the other way for me.

858
00:43:56,719 --> 00:44:00,799
Speaker 1: Sometimes I will completely be myself with people and they

859
00:44:00,840 --> 00:44:03,280
Speaker 1: won't know what to do with it because they only

860
00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:06,560
Speaker 1: have one idea of me. Yeah, you know. Yeah, so

861
00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:09,160
Speaker 1: they'll meet me and travel, hey how are you? Hey,

862
00:44:09,320 --> 00:44:11,400
Speaker 1: hey buddy, gayboll And if I say something back and

863
00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:13,839
Speaker 1: they say, hey, wait what was that, I'm like, oh,

864
00:44:13,920 --> 00:44:16,320
Speaker 1: this is all of me. Yeah, they don't have a

865
00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:19,239
Speaker 1: reference point, and I get that, and so I yeah,

866
00:44:19,239 --> 00:44:21,400
Speaker 1: it's it's it's really interesting when you exist in a

867
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:24,320
Speaker 1: one dimensional space in terms of you know, you know,

868
00:44:24,360 --> 00:44:26,279
Speaker 1: I guess it would be unidirectional, just like you know,

869
00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:28,920
Speaker 1: it's just going in that one direction as opposed to

870
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:31,960
Speaker 1: it coming back and going you know, yeah, definitely. That's

871
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:35,440
Speaker 1: such a great answer. I'm one of those people that like, generally,

872
00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:37,080
Speaker 1: if I get enough time to meet someone, or if

873
00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:38,719
Speaker 1: I know someone's going to be in my life for

874
00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:41,160
Speaker 1: an extended period of time, i I hire a new

875
00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:43,560
Speaker 1: person on my team or something like that, I try

876
00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:46,239
Speaker 1: and show them all of me very quick. I don't

877
00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:47,839
Speaker 1: know one of those people that are like, Okay, I'm

878
00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:50,120
Speaker 1: gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna be as jokey as I

879
00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:51,959
Speaker 1: usually am. I'm gonna expose you to how I choked

880
00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:53,840
Speaker 1: to my wife, Like interest. And I do that not

881
00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:56,920
Speaker 1: as a not as I definitely do it as a

882
00:44:56,960 --> 00:45:00,680
Speaker 1: conscious It's not like it happens. It's a conscious attempt

883
00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:03,640
Speaker 1: at trying to figure out whether this person actually wants

884
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:06,280
Speaker 1: to be around me or lifting, because I'd rather quickly

885
00:45:06,360 --> 00:45:09,319
Speaker 1: figure out whether I feel chemistry with someone yes, as

886
00:45:09,360 --> 00:45:13,399
Speaker 1: opposed to wait to reveal my full self for them

887
00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:15,279
Speaker 1: to what you said to then let them down and

888
00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:17,759
Speaker 1: then they're like, oh, George, I didn't know you liked it.

889
00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:20,680
Speaker 1: And so I usually warn people I'm like, hey, I

890
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:22,759
Speaker 1: make a lot more jokes in person than I do

891
00:45:22,800 --> 00:45:25,719
Speaker 1: on Instagram. And so if I'm like and I'm banned

892
00:45:25,719 --> 00:45:28,319
Speaker 1: to a lot because of Britain, and me and my

893
00:45:28,320 --> 00:45:29,960
Speaker 1: wife will ban to a lot. So most people think

894
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:31,280
Speaker 1: me and my wife are going to get a divorced

895
00:45:31,280 --> 00:45:33,400
Speaker 1: every other day because it is like the one we

896
00:45:33,400 --> 00:45:36,000
Speaker 1: talked to each other because we're both from England. I

897
00:45:36,280 --> 00:45:38,080
Speaker 1: want people to be exposed to that, not because I

898
00:45:38,440 --> 00:45:40,120
Speaker 1: want them to appreciate you or like, I just want

899
00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:43,359
Speaker 1: to know quickly whether whether you vibe with you. Okay,

900
00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:46,080
Speaker 1: but but aren't you ever concerned going the other way?

901
00:45:46,160 --> 00:45:48,200
Speaker 1: Because you may go this is me, this is all

902
00:45:48,239 --> 00:45:51,280
Speaker 1: of me. Yeah, not, depending on your position in life.

903
00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:56,120
Speaker 1: The person may be a certain way to you. Sure

904
00:45:56,320 --> 00:45:59,000
Speaker 1: based on that Sure, because they feel they can't and

905
00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:01,200
Speaker 1: then they reveal themselves, Then what do you do when

906
00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:03,600
Speaker 1: they reveal themselves in a positive or like a challenge

907
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:06,560
Speaker 1: challenging way. In a challenging way, then well, that's what

908
00:46:06,680 --> 00:46:08,880
Speaker 1: I'm saying that it's people that I think are going

909
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:10,640
Speaker 1: to be in my life for a longer period of time.

910
00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:12,520
Speaker 1: And then if it's if it's a team member where

911
00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:14,319
Speaker 1: we don't get along, then we can both move on

912
00:46:14,360 --> 00:46:16,360
Speaker 1: and go out separate ways. I wouldn't do it with

913
00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:19,080
Speaker 1: someone that I am not getting enough quality time. Does

914
00:46:19,120 --> 00:46:21,480
Speaker 1: a monk fire someone? How does the monk fire as well?

915
00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:24,040
Speaker 1: I'm not a monk anymore. I'm I'd love to know

916
00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:27,600
Speaker 1: how it's a monk fight it is? You know what?

917
00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:31,400
Speaker 1: The thing about it is so uncomfortable? Oh it is okay.

918
00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:33,040
Speaker 1: I thought maybe as a monk it was like super

919
00:46:33,160 --> 00:46:35,320
Speaker 1: chill and you just come in and you go. In life,

920
00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:40,040
Speaker 1: everything is happening to you. You know, everything that seems

921
00:46:40,080 --> 00:46:45,360
Speaker 1: bad could be good, and so this as me letting

922
00:46:45,400 --> 00:46:47,680
Speaker 1: you go. But rather think of this as me setting

923
00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:50,160
Speaker 1: you free. Yeah, I think maybe it would be something

924
00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:53,399
Speaker 1: more surrender then you have to end it. That would

925
00:46:53,440 --> 00:46:56,239
Speaker 1: be brilliant, But it isn't comfortable. It's so as in

926
00:46:56,760 --> 00:46:58,880
Speaker 1: I've also been let go, so I know what it

927
00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:01,360
Speaker 1: feels like. Like I've in in a position where I

928
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:04,160
Speaker 1: think I've been let go poorly, where it hasn't been

929
00:47:04,200 --> 00:47:07,719
Speaker 1: handled well where and I'm very clear on how like

930
00:47:07,840 --> 00:47:11,520
Speaker 1: having one skill set doesn't just naturally apply to everything.

931
00:47:11,960 --> 00:47:15,160
Speaker 1: Being a monk doesn't make me good at recruiting people

932
00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:18,520
Speaker 1: or letting go of people. Those are not transferable skills.

933
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:22,840
Speaker 1: There's certain elements of compassion and empathy, but it doesn't

934
00:47:22,880 --> 00:47:25,200
Speaker 1: make you good at the start that it will cover everything,

935
00:47:25,280 --> 00:47:27,880
Speaker 1: and it doesn't. It doesn't right, Like I think, to

936
00:47:27,920 --> 00:47:31,279
Speaker 1: give you a very practical example, I felt for a

937
00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:35,839
Speaker 1: lot of a long time that people needed love. Like

938
00:47:35,880 --> 00:47:37,719
Speaker 1: I felt for a long time that I believe that

939
00:47:37,760 --> 00:47:39,640
Speaker 1: if you love people then they will be happy and

940
00:47:39,719 --> 00:47:42,360
Speaker 1: they will feel good about stuff. And I used to

941
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:46,600
Speaker 1: believe that. And after trying to express love to people

942
00:47:46,640 --> 00:47:49,160
Speaker 1: even in the way they want it so, not even unconsciously,

943
00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:51,080
Speaker 1: but I would try and figure out, how does this

944
00:47:51,120 --> 00:47:53,279
Speaker 1: person receive love? Okay, let me give them love in

945
00:47:53,280 --> 00:47:56,359
Speaker 1: the way they want to receive love. I've realized that

946
00:47:56,440 --> 00:48:00,439
Speaker 1: so many people were not even operating on that level. Yeah,

947
00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:04,040
Speaker 1: that all they needed was safety, like they just needed

948
00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:07,920
Speaker 1: a base level of safety. They weren't They couldn't even

949
00:48:08,040 --> 00:48:12,200
Speaker 1: accept or receive love because that was such a lofty,

950
00:48:12,680 --> 00:48:17,160
Speaker 1: deep idea. It's like they didn't understand how someone who

951
00:48:17,239 --> 00:48:21,160
Speaker 1: doesn't know them very well could express deep love for

952
00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:24,759
Speaker 1: them because they've never experienced that before. How do you

953
00:48:24,880 --> 00:48:30,319
Speaker 1: find the correct safety to convey? And what I mean

954
00:48:30,360 --> 00:48:33,040
Speaker 1: by that is we all have a different idea of

955
00:48:33,040 --> 00:48:36,200
Speaker 1: what safety means, you know, going back to your idea

956
00:48:36,239 --> 00:48:38,480
Speaker 1: of you know, when you were saying stability and stability

957
00:48:38,480 --> 00:48:41,600
Speaker 1: earlier in the conversation. One of the wildest discoveries I

958
00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:46,600
Speaker 1: made in therapy was where I was speaking to my

959
00:48:46,680 --> 00:48:50,960
Speaker 1: therapist and I realized I am particularly comfortable in chaos.

960
00:48:52,560 --> 00:48:55,640
Speaker 1: That is where I'm most comfortable. You know, if you're

961
00:48:55,680 --> 00:48:59,560
Speaker 1: in an airport and you know flights are being canceled

962
00:48:59,680 --> 00:49:03,280
Speaker 1: and you know everything's being delayed, you want me rolling

963
00:49:03,320 --> 00:49:07,040
Speaker 1: with you like I'm that is me problem. I solve it.

964
00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:13,200
Speaker 1: I genuinely I find a beautiful hum of peace that

965
00:49:13,280 --> 00:49:17,160
Speaker 1: comes over me when there is chaos, traffic, everything caused.

966
00:49:18,120 --> 00:49:22,040
Speaker 1: That's where I'm comfortable. And yet the flip I also

967
00:49:22,080 --> 00:49:26,399
Speaker 1: discovered was true is that when there's calm, now I'm

968
00:49:26,400 --> 00:49:29,480
Speaker 1: in chaos. Wow. You know. And so I learned that

969
00:49:30,120 --> 00:49:35,320
Speaker 1: I felt safest where most people didn't, and I felt

970
00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:39,719
Speaker 1: the least safe where most people would know. And I

971
00:49:39,800 --> 00:49:43,239
Speaker 1: learned a lot of that came because growing up in

972
00:49:43,280 --> 00:49:48,520
Speaker 1: a home where there was domestic abuse. You you know,

973
00:49:48,560 --> 00:49:53,359
Speaker 1: the silence meant you didn't know anything could happen at

974
00:49:53,360 --> 00:49:56,359
Speaker 1: any moment. What's going on? What's happening? You don't know,

975
00:49:56,520 --> 00:49:58,960
Speaker 1: you don't know. But when something is happening, all you

976
00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:01,719
Speaker 1: have to do is deal with it. Yeah. Wow, I

977
00:50:01,760 --> 00:50:04,120
Speaker 1: mean that, do you get? Yeah? I mean I mean,

978
00:50:04,160 --> 00:50:09,440
Speaker 1: but that's like, that's such a challenging, difficult idea for

979
00:50:09,480 --> 00:50:11,920
Speaker 1: people to grasp because what you're saying is that I

980
00:50:11,920 --> 00:50:14,759
Speaker 1: can hear gunshots at least I know, well, I know

981
00:50:14,800 --> 00:50:17,400
Speaker 1: who is coming from, correct, Yeah? Yeah, exactly, I know

982
00:50:17,440 --> 00:50:19,920
Speaker 1: where to run away too from exactly. You get what

983
00:50:19,920 --> 00:50:22,080
Speaker 1: I'm saying. Yeah, No, no, I fully get what you're saying.

984
00:50:22,080 --> 00:50:24,760
Speaker 1: But I'm just saying that that is a challenging concept

985
00:50:24,760 --> 00:50:26,600
Speaker 1: for people to get around because if you've not been brought,

986
00:50:26,680 --> 00:50:28,719
Speaker 1: if you've not been raised in a space like that, like,

987
00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:31,359
Speaker 1: that's so much to do with your upbringing. Yeah, but

988
00:50:31,480 --> 00:50:33,279
Speaker 1: that's what I mean by safety. So that's why I'm

989
00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:35,600
Speaker 1: a yeah. Yeah, So how do you even find that?

990
00:50:35,640 --> 00:50:37,640
Speaker 1: Because you know, I understand what you mean by love,

991
00:50:37,680 --> 00:50:39,960
Speaker 1: because again, how we process it, what our languages are,

992
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:43,600
Speaker 1: et cetera, or so specific. But even safety, you know,

993
00:50:43,680 --> 00:50:46,839
Speaker 1: my my idea of safety isn't the same as your idea.

994
00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:48,799
Speaker 1: Of course, you know whether it will be in a

995
00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:52,080
Speaker 1: personal relationship, in a romantic relationship. You know. Some people's

996
00:50:52,080 --> 00:50:55,040
Speaker 1: idea of safety is hey, you you text me every day,

997
00:50:55,040 --> 00:50:57,040
Speaker 1: and you exactly you call me to make sure I

998
00:50:57,080 --> 00:50:59,719
Speaker 1: got home and you. Another person's idea of safety is

999
00:51:00,360 --> 00:51:02,080
Speaker 1: you leave me alone when I'm busy. That makes me

1000
00:51:02,120 --> 00:51:05,040
Speaker 1: feel safe. You take care of yourself, makes me feel safe,

1001
00:51:05,480 --> 00:51:06,919
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So how do you then

1002
00:51:07,040 --> 00:51:11,360
Speaker 1: find what the person's idea of safety is? Well, I

1003
00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:13,480
Speaker 1: think it's what you just said that there's a hierarchy

1004
00:51:13,520 --> 00:51:16,799
Speaker 1: of needs, right, and everyone has their different like you said,

1005
00:51:16,800 --> 00:51:20,640
Speaker 1: like the base level, and I'm looking at the vaders,

1006
00:51:20,680 --> 00:51:22,080
Speaker 1: which is what I studied as a monk, and it

1007
00:51:22,120 --> 00:51:26,040
Speaker 1: says that the base level of anyone's motivator is fear

1008
00:51:26,080 --> 00:51:29,600
Speaker 1: and anxiety, right, Like people get motivated by fear and anxiety.

1009
00:51:29,680 --> 00:51:32,279
Speaker 1: So the lack of fear and anxiety is a sense

1010
00:51:32,320 --> 00:51:35,840
Speaker 1: of safety. Right. Higher than that is someone who's motivated

1011
00:51:35,920 --> 00:51:39,080
Speaker 1: by results or goals, so they feel safe when they're

1012
00:51:39,080 --> 00:51:42,880
Speaker 1: moving towards something. They feel safe when they're driving towards

1013
00:51:42,880 --> 00:51:46,399
Speaker 1: a deadline that is clear and active. Another level is

1014
00:51:46,960 --> 00:51:50,279
Speaker 1: tranquility and calm, And it's like someone feels safe when

1015
00:51:50,280 --> 00:51:53,239
Speaker 1: they feel clarity, okay, right, and so in similar what

1016
00:51:53,280 --> 00:51:56,399
Speaker 1: you're saying, like, there's so I think what I realized though,

1017
00:51:56,520 --> 00:51:59,919
Speaker 1: was that safety was such a base need of human

1018
00:52:00,280 --> 00:52:04,960
Speaker 1: right that until you fulfill that need, it love just

1019
00:52:05,120 --> 00:52:07,640
Speaker 1: and this is just experience, right, I'm saying this from

1020
00:52:07,680 --> 00:52:10,480
Speaker 1: my experience. I just felt like opening my heart to people,

1021
00:52:10,560 --> 00:52:12,160
Speaker 1: or like trying to give love to people in a

1022
00:52:12,280 --> 00:52:16,200
Speaker 1: very genuine way, I just felt that it couldn't fully

1023
00:52:16,239 --> 00:52:18,960
Speaker 1: be received because I realized most people have probably never

1024
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:22,080
Speaker 1: received love, even maybe from their parents or their family,

1025
00:52:22,200 --> 00:52:24,600
Speaker 1: or from the people they expected to love them. So

1026
00:52:24,640 --> 00:52:28,319
Speaker 1: when someone unexpected comes along and tries to show you love,

1027
00:52:28,400 --> 00:52:30,279
Speaker 1: it's like what is it? What does he want? Or

1028
00:52:30,280 --> 00:52:32,160
Speaker 1: what is this going on? Or you know, where does

1029
00:52:32,160 --> 00:52:33,320
Speaker 1: this land? And so I was like all right, like

1030
00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:35,879
Speaker 1: real it back, you know, real it back it just

1031
00:52:36,360 --> 00:52:39,080
Speaker 1: figure out safety first. Anyway, that was at least a

1032
00:52:39,120 --> 00:52:42,080
Speaker 1: personal experience. But but but why did we get there?

1033
00:52:42,080 --> 00:52:45,239
Speaker 1: We got there because we're talking about this idea with

1034
00:52:45,360 --> 00:52:47,920
Speaker 1: you of like you know, talking about relatability. Yeah, and

1035
00:52:48,400 --> 00:52:51,120
Speaker 1: we're moving through to you know, safety and love and

1036
00:52:51,160 --> 00:52:54,120
Speaker 1: then meeting people, and you're talking about how you will

1037
00:52:54,160 --> 00:52:56,319
Speaker 1: reveal all of yourself early on that so that the

1038
00:52:56,360 --> 00:52:59,279
Speaker 1: person I guess is in the safest space. Really yeah,

1039
00:52:59,400 --> 00:53:02,160
Speaker 1: and that's only my method. Again, I'm not saying that's

1040
00:53:02,239 --> 00:53:03,880
Speaker 1: right or wrong. It's just kind of and even what

1041
00:53:03,960 --> 00:53:05,840
Speaker 1: you said earlier, like you said, like Jay, you always

1042
00:53:05,840 --> 00:53:08,680
Speaker 1: feel safe. I think I feel the opposite too. I

1043
00:53:08,680 --> 00:53:11,279
Speaker 1: feel most unsafe when I think I'm somewhere and I

1044
00:53:11,320 --> 00:53:13,960
Speaker 1: don't have a purpose there. Okay, So if I get

1045
00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:16,560
Speaker 1: invited to a place where I don't feel I have

1046
00:53:16,640 --> 00:53:19,439
Speaker 1: any purpose, you will see me just like I will

1047
00:53:19,520 --> 00:53:22,319
Speaker 1: last like thirty minutes and then I will leave because

1048
00:53:22,320 --> 00:53:23,719
Speaker 1: I'm just like, what am I going to do here?

1049
00:53:24,080 --> 00:53:25,920
Speaker 1: I'm not just going to shoot the breeze? So do

1050
00:53:25,960 --> 00:53:29,480
Speaker 1: you purpose them not doing being in my purpose? Yeah? Yeah,

1051
00:53:29,520 --> 00:53:31,480
Speaker 1: So when I'm in a space like that, I will,

1052
00:53:31,520 --> 00:53:33,439
Speaker 1: I will look at I will be there. Of course

1053
00:53:33,480 --> 00:53:35,239
Speaker 1: I can. I can have conversations and I can talk

1054
00:53:35,280 --> 00:53:38,399
Speaker 1: and everything else. You're not crying in a corner. No, No, yeah,

1055
00:53:38,520 --> 00:53:40,640
Speaker 1: I say do you do? Then what I'm asking is

1056
00:53:40,640 --> 00:53:43,080
Speaker 1: do you have to work on that? Yes? Absolutely, Yeah,

1057
00:53:43,080 --> 00:53:46,160
Speaker 1: because it's a discomfort. Yes, it's a discomfort that I

1058
00:53:46,200 --> 00:53:48,360
Speaker 1: have to work on, which is, well, I don't know

1059
00:53:48,400 --> 00:53:50,920
Speaker 1: why I'm here, I don't know what my purpose is.

1060
00:53:51,280 --> 00:53:53,880
Speaker 1: And then and then sometimes my way of talking to

1061
00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:56,919
Speaker 1: myself is you never know. There may be something here,

1062
00:53:58,160 --> 00:54:00,080
Speaker 1: and you have to be open today if if if

1063
00:54:00,080 --> 00:54:01,759
Speaker 1: I live, if I sit here and I'm close to that,

1064
00:54:01,760 --> 00:54:03,759
Speaker 1: then I may never discover anything. If I'm open to it,

1065
00:54:03,800 --> 00:54:05,960
Speaker 1: maybe I'll discover something. Maybe I won't. How do you

1066
00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:11,840
Speaker 1: find the balance between knowing when to walk away and

1067
00:54:12,120 --> 00:54:15,640
Speaker 1: when the opportunity may present itself. I feel like that's

1068
00:54:15,640 --> 00:54:18,920
Speaker 1: the greatest challenge in life, because sometimes you find yourself

1069
00:54:19,480 --> 00:54:21,400
Speaker 1: at an event, whatever it may be a work event

1070
00:54:21,480 --> 00:54:23,359
Speaker 1: of friends, whatever it may be. You go, ah, man,

1071
00:54:23,400 --> 00:54:25,120
Speaker 1: i'm not having fun here. I'm not having a good time.

1072
00:54:25,160 --> 00:54:27,160
Speaker 1: I'm not. And then as you say the one idea,

1073
00:54:27,239 --> 00:54:32,239
Speaker 1: maybe hey, stay in this discomforts and what may come

1074
00:54:32,280 --> 00:54:36,960
Speaker 1: from it is something special, which oftentimes can happen. The

1075
00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:39,400
Speaker 1: flip is true as well. I stayed there for too long.

1076
00:54:39,440 --> 00:54:41,720
Speaker 1: I stayed in that relationship for too long. I stayed

1077
00:54:41,719 --> 00:54:43,840
Speaker 1: at that job for too long. I stayed in that

1078
00:54:43,960 --> 00:54:48,359
Speaker 1: environment for too long. It was discomfit, and I thought

1079
00:54:48,400 --> 00:54:49,560
Speaker 1: I was going to get something out of it. I

1080
00:54:49,600 --> 00:54:52,600
Speaker 1: often hear people saying that even you know, they'll they'll

1081
00:54:52,600 --> 00:54:58,200
Speaker 1: you know, friends, colleagues, strangers, Sometimes I'll meet they'll say, yeah,

1082
00:54:58,280 --> 00:55:01,080
Speaker 1: but I've just I've been doing it for so long

1083
00:55:01,160 --> 00:55:03,600
Speaker 1: now and I just feel like maybe there's there's there's

1084
00:55:03,640 --> 00:55:07,200
Speaker 1: something and you know. And then I will say and

1085
00:55:07,239 --> 00:55:08,800
Speaker 1: I don't know if even if if I'm right, So

1086
00:55:08,840 --> 00:55:11,960
Speaker 1: I go, maybe the lesson you're learning is when to

1087
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:14,480
Speaker 1: walk away or how to walk But I don't even

1088
00:55:14,520 --> 00:55:17,520
Speaker 1: know this myself. You know, you may leave the thing

1089
00:55:17,520 --> 00:55:20,000
Speaker 1: that that's makes me uncomfortable because of that, you have

1090
00:55:20,040 --> 00:55:22,840
Speaker 1: a certain er bit of experience totally, and you go, oh,

1091
00:55:22,880 --> 00:55:24,719
Speaker 1: that's why I left, because this was supposed to happen.

1092
00:55:24,719 --> 00:55:28,160
Speaker 1: You were always confirmed the confirmation bias absolutely, or you

1093
00:55:28,200 --> 00:55:29,640
Speaker 1: stay and then something happens and you go like, ah,

1094
00:55:29,680 --> 00:55:31,319
Speaker 1: I was always supposed to stay. So how do you

1095
00:55:31,360 --> 00:55:32,840
Speaker 1: how do you? How do you know? Or do you

1096
00:55:32,880 --> 00:55:34,480
Speaker 1: accept the fact that you don't know? I think that's

1097
00:55:34,680 --> 00:55:37,120
Speaker 1: I think you literally just answer you to us on

1098
00:55:37,160 --> 00:55:39,319
Speaker 1: the our journey, all right, just yeah, yeah, no, No,

1099
00:55:39,360 --> 00:55:41,719
Speaker 1: You're spot on. You don't know, you don't know, right, like,

1100
00:55:41,840 --> 00:55:45,359
Speaker 1: and you can only you can. I think it's also

1101
00:55:45,360 --> 00:55:47,279
Speaker 1: a matter of time, right I think if I was

1102
00:55:47,680 --> 00:55:50,960
Speaker 1: and this is again personal, but there's a difference between

1103
00:55:50,960 --> 00:55:53,279
Speaker 1: like if we got here on this beautiful setup that

1104
00:55:53,320 --> 00:55:54,880
Speaker 1: we have that you're admiring and you're saying you like

1105
00:55:54,920 --> 00:55:57,439
Speaker 1: the energy, and how I do too. If we got

1106
00:55:57,480 --> 00:56:00,759
Speaker 1: here on Friday, which was when we first started filming here,

1107
00:56:01,719 --> 00:56:03,799
Speaker 1: if I didn't like it on Friday, if I didn't

1108
00:56:03,840 --> 00:56:05,680
Speaker 1: like the energy, and I could tell the guests in

1109
00:56:05,760 --> 00:56:07,719
Speaker 1: like the energy, I would have shifted the room immediately

1110
00:56:08,160 --> 00:56:11,200
Speaker 1: because I'm not going to wait around. If I'm clear

1111
00:56:11,280 --> 00:56:14,680
Speaker 1: on something or I'm sensing it. I think jobs are

1112
00:56:15,160 --> 00:56:19,160
Speaker 1: harder because they probably exactly and so I think when

1113
00:56:19,239 --> 00:56:22,280
Speaker 1: things are tied to your survival, we tend to spend

1114
00:56:22,360 --> 00:56:26,239
Speaker 1: longer in them than we probably should because that safety

1115
00:56:26,280 --> 00:56:29,239
Speaker 1: again and security is so tied to that. And I

1116
00:56:29,239 --> 00:56:32,719
Speaker 1: think that's why relationships, as you've rightly pointed out homes,

1117
00:56:33,239 --> 00:56:35,600
Speaker 1: like I was just talking my uncle and aunt, like,

1118
00:56:36,440 --> 00:56:38,919
Speaker 1: you know, my grandparents have passed away. They've moved on,

1119
00:56:39,640 --> 00:56:42,279
Speaker 1: and you know they've been wanting to move home, they've

1120
00:56:42,280 --> 00:56:45,319
Speaker 1: said for many, many years, but now they don't. They

1121
00:56:45,360 --> 00:56:47,480
Speaker 1: live in London and they have a house and they

1122
00:56:47,520 --> 00:56:51,240
Speaker 1: want to they want to move to a different environment

1123
00:56:51,280 --> 00:56:54,000
Speaker 1: they've always wanted. But now they're like, no, no, but

1124
00:56:54,040 --> 00:56:56,520
Speaker 1: all our memories in this house, right, And so there's that,

1125
00:56:56,640 --> 00:56:59,239
Speaker 1: there's that familiarity, and they're like, no, I don't want

1126
00:56:59,239 --> 00:57:01,879
Speaker 1: to leave, even though I don't love this house as

1127
00:57:01,920 --> 00:57:04,799
Speaker 1: a structure and as a space, I don't want to leave.

1128
00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:06,759
Speaker 1: And I think that's what we do with people. Yeah,

1129
00:57:07,080 --> 00:57:09,239
Speaker 1: but I guess that's a good question for you that

1130
00:57:09,320 --> 00:57:11,720
Speaker 1: you've you've obviously had to find home again and again

1131
00:57:11,800 --> 00:57:15,040
Speaker 1: you've continued to find it in yourself, Like how have

1132
00:57:15,160 --> 00:57:19,680
Speaker 1: you let go of previous identities and personalities and are

1133
00:57:19,720 --> 00:57:23,439
Speaker 1: you because that's where we started. Like I think I've

1134
00:57:23,440 --> 00:57:25,240
Speaker 1: had to do that a lot of times, Like even

1135
00:57:25,280 --> 00:57:26,880
Speaker 1: when you said Monk, and I always say, well, I'm

1136
00:57:26,880 --> 00:57:28,800
Speaker 1: not anymore. And the reason I say that is because

1137
00:57:29,160 --> 00:57:32,200
Speaker 1: I had to let go of so many parts of

1138
00:57:32,240 --> 00:57:35,680
Speaker 1: that identity that don't serve me anymore. There are lots

1139
00:57:35,680 --> 00:57:38,600
Speaker 1: of parts of that identity that serve me massively, there

1140
00:57:38,600 --> 00:57:40,600
Speaker 1: are lots of parts of that identity that don't serve

1141
00:57:40,640 --> 00:57:45,000
Speaker 1: me anymore. Same with same with anything, like any work

1142
00:57:45,040 --> 00:57:47,919
Speaker 1: I've done. So I guess today when you're deciding who

1143
00:57:47,960 --> 00:57:50,880
Speaker 1: you want to be. One of the things I've taken

1144
00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:53,320
Speaker 1: away from this episode for sure I'm talking to you,

1145
00:57:53,360 --> 00:57:56,120
Speaker 1: and I've genuinely enjoyed talking to you is we know

1146
00:57:56,240 --> 00:57:59,680
Speaker 1: you're a very smart, intellectual, thoughtful person about what's happening

1147
00:57:59,680 --> 00:58:02,160
Speaker 1: in the world world. But what I find really beautiful

1148
00:58:02,160 --> 00:58:05,240
Speaker 1: and refreshing is that today you're doing the same things

1149
00:58:05,320 --> 00:58:09,120
Speaker 1: internally on your inner world. Has that always been a habit?

1150
00:58:09,360 --> 00:58:11,560
Speaker 1: You even said today when you walked in before we

1151
00:58:11,600 --> 00:58:13,640
Speaker 1: even started recording, you were like day, when I've been

1152
00:58:13,640 --> 00:58:16,480
Speaker 1: on all day, I need to just reflect and decompress

1153
00:58:16,560 --> 00:58:20,080
Speaker 1: and think about stuff. Has that always been a habit?

1154
00:58:20,160 --> 00:58:22,760
Speaker 1: Is there a method you use, is there an approach

1155
00:58:22,920 --> 00:58:25,600
Speaker 1: or is it just something you naturally just go into

1156
00:58:25,600 --> 00:58:29,600
Speaker 1: the inner world. Although I'm not particularly religious, I would

1157
00:58:29,640 --> 00:58:33,240
Speaker 1: have to say growing up religious installed within me the

1158
00:58:33,280 --> 00:58:36,000
Speaker 1: idea that I could have conversations with myself and they

1159
00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:40,560
Speaker 1: were necessary in order for me to process what I

1160
00:58:40,640 --> 00:58:44,160
Speaker 1: was going through. You know, That's what prayer is, in

1161
00:58:44,200 --> 00:58:48,480
Speaker 1: my opinion. It's a conversation that you are having multiple

1162
00:58:48,520 --> 00:58:50,960
Speaker 1: times a day. You are remembering, you are thinking, you

1163
00:58:51,040 --> 00:58:54,600
Speaker 1: are discussing, you are exposing your vulnerabilities, you are whatever

1164
00:58:54,600 --> 00:58:59,240
Speaker 1: it may be you are you're doing in doing that

1165
00:58:59,280 --> 00:59:01,760
Speaker 1: As a little child, you know, getting on my knees

1166
00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:07,160
Speaker 1: and praying. One of my favorite lessons that my mom

1167
00:59:07,200 --> 00:59:10,760
Speaker 1: taught me was that your relationship with God is your

1168
00:59:10,760 --> 00:59:13,760
Speaker 1: relationship with God. You know, she if I was in trouble,

1169
00:59:14,520 --> 00:59:16,280
Speaker 1: she wouldn't say to me, pray in front of me,

1170
00:59:16,400 --> 00:59:18,480
Speaker 1: let me hear you pray. No, She'd be like you

1171
00:59:18,840 --> 00:59:21,920
Speaker 1: and go and pray. And so what I am grateful

1172
00:59:21,960 --> 00:59:25,160
Speaker 1: for in that experience was that my relationship with God

1173
00:59:25,240 --> 00:59:29,440
Speaker 1: was then always my relationship with God. It was my conversation.

1174
00:59:29,560 --> 00:59:34,760
Speaker 1: It wasn't performative. It wasn't I remember as a little kid,

1175
00:59:35,320 --> 00:59:37,720
Speaker 1: she's like asking random questions. You know. I'd go to

1176
00:59:37,760 --> 00:59:40,560
Speaker 1: bed and I'd be like, oh god, a man, why

1177
00:59:40,560 --> 00:59:43,439
Speaker 1: do I break things all the time? Why? I don't

1178
00:59:43,440 --> 00:59:45,880
Speaker 1: know what it is? Like, I mean, you were there

1179
00:59:45,920 --> 00:59:48,840
Speaker 1: with me, I don't know why. Why don't you stop me? Sometimes?

1180
00:59:48,840 --> 00:59:51,320
Speaker 1: Like you know, you never stop me. I'll just be

1181
00:59:51,360 --> 00:59:52,800
Speaker 1: there as a kid, and I would I don't want

1182
00:59:52,800 --> 00:59:54,680
Speaker 1: to break things. But then I broke it and I

1183
00:59:54,720 --> 00:59:57,400
Speaker 1: knew it was going to break. And now Mom's angry,

1184
00:59:57,440 --> 00:59:59,760
Speaker 1: and please try and make it not as angry. But

1185
00:59:59,760 --> 01:00:03,280
Speaker 1: I'd have these conversations and I would feel different afterwards.

1186
01:00:03,320 --> 01:00:06,280
Speaker 1: I would feel better. I feel like I processed something.

1187
01:00:07,160 --> 01:00:09,880
Speaker 1: And that is an element of prayer that I think

1188
01:00:09,880 --> 01:00:14,080
Speaker 1: a lot of people take for granted. Is that processing

1189
01:00:14,720 --> 01:00:18,560
Speaker 1: of the information that's oftentimes just running away in your head,

1190
01:00:19,200 --> 01:00:22,280
Speaker 1: just rarely running away in your head. In that I

1191
01:00:22,920 --> 01:00:26,680
Speaker 1: just try and ask questions. I let's tell people, you know,

1192
01:00:26,680 --> 01:00:28,280
Speaker 1: I go like, I don't know. If I don't think

1193
01:00:28,280 --> 01:00:32,120
Speaker 1: I'm smart, I think I'm I think I am more

1194
01:00:32,160 --> 01:00:35,200
Speaker 1: and more confident in being an idiot to be honest

1195
01:00:35,240 --> 01:00:39,760
Speaker 1: with you. You know, I have friends who I consider

1196
01:00:39,840 --> 01:00:42,280
Speaker 1: smart because I can ask them about anything, you know.

1197
01:00:42,320 --> 01:00:46,760
Speaker 1: I have friends who know about, you know, quantum gravity

1198
01:00:46,840 --> 01:00:49,440
Speaker 1: and whatever it is, space books. I always got, like

1199
01:00:49,440 --> 01:00:52,560
Speaker 1: you're reading spacebooks again. I have friends who know about,

1200
01:00:52,840 --> 01:00:56,240
Speaker 1: you know, the deepest trenches of football history. I know

1201
01:00:56,320 --> 01:01:01,200
Speaker 1: friends who they're smart in my opinion, but I'm proud

1202
01:01:01,280 --> 01:01:04,800
Speaker 1: to say I'm an idiot. And so when you let

1203
01:01:04,840 --> 01:01:08,000
Speaker 1: go of that, sometimes what I find is I I

1204
01:01:08,040 --> 01:01:12,000
Speaker 1: then enjoy asking questions. Yeah, you know, I and most

1205
01:01:12,040 --> 01:01:13,840
Speaker 1: of my work, that's what I'm doing, is I'm asking questions.

1206
01:01:13,880 --> 01:01:16,480
Speaker 1: As a comedian, I'm asking questions of how we live

1207
01:01:16,480 --> 01:01:18,720
Speaker 1: in society. Why do we accept certain things the way

1208
01:01:18,760 --> 01:01:20,280
Speaker 1: we do? And I think it's funny that we do.

1209
01:01:20,320 --> 01:01:22,280
Speaker 1: And have you ever noticed how? And that's what a

1210
01:01:22,280 --> 01:01:25,400
Speaker 1: lot of comedians do. They're asking a question about something

1211
01:01:25,480 --> 01:01:28,040
Speaker 1: that everybody accepts as the norm. You know. I do

1212
01:01:28,080 --> 01:01:29,960
Speaker 1: it in my job on the Daily Show. I ask

1213
01:01:30,040 --> 01:01:33,560
Speaker 1: questions about how people see politics and why they see politics,

1214
01:01:33,560 --> 01:01:36,200
Speaker 1: and you know, whatever it may be. I ask questions,

1215
01:01:36,480 --> 01:01:39,040
Speaker 1: you know. I remember one day someone said to me,

1216
01:01:39,720 --> 01:01:41,880
Speaker 1: some random person who said to me it's like, oh,

1217
01:01:41,960 --> 01:01:43,640
Speaker 1: it's crazy. You know, you came to this country and

1218
01:01:43,840 --> 01:01:46,000
Speaker 1: you know, as a Democrat, you probably say, whoa, wait,

1219
01:01:46,040 --> 01:01:47,720
Speaker 1: what do you mean as a democrat? In my country,

1220
01:01:47,720 --> 01:01:51,600
Speaker 1: we don't have that. Yeah, in many political parties, we're

1221
01:01:51,600 --> 01:01:54,439
Speaker 1: not forced into a binary system that's already. You don't

1222
01:01:54,440 --> 01:01:56,840
Speaker 1: ask a question, you made an assumption, you know. And

1223
01:01:56,880 --> 01:01:59,000
Speaker 1: so even that has helped me. Where I come from,

1224
01:01:59,240 --> 01:02:02,440
Speaker 1: there is not just this or that. Yeah, in America's

1225
01:02:02,600 --> 01:02:05,600
Speaker 1: it has like a very very play hitting vibe to it.

1226
01:02:05,680 --> 01:02:07,160
Speaker 1: It's like, look what that party is doing. I look

1227
01:02:07,160 --> 01:02:08,600
Speaker 1: at that and it's like, yeah, but what you know

1228
01:02:08,600 --> 01:02:10,320
Speaker 1: what I mean, if you're voting for these things, shouldn't

1229
01:02:10,320 --> 01:02:14,000
Speaker 1: you be concerned about what you're going for? Wow to

1230
01:02:14,040 --> 01:02:16,960
Speaker 1: your party? Yeah, you know. And so but as a comedian,

1231
01:02:17,000 --> 01:02:19,200
Speaker 1: I'm going like, where are the jokes. I'll follow the jokes.

1232
01:02:19,240 --> 01:02:21,000
Speaker 1: I'll tell you that much, because that's what my purposes

1233
01:02:21,040 --> 01:02:24,600
Speaker 1: in that moment. Yea. And this goes to everything I

1234
01:02:24,640 --> 01:02:25,960
Speaker 1: do in life. You know, I've been lucky enough to

1235
01:02:26,000 --> 01:02:28,200
Speaker 1: work on different projects like yourself. You know, I work

1236
01:02:28,200 --> 01:02:31,280
Speaker 1: in tech and work with Microsoft and things. Funny that

1237
01:02:31,400 --> 01:02:33,520
Speaker 1: I remember the presidence of the company one of the

1238
01:02:33,720 --> 01:02:35,400
Speaker 1: city's like, we're going to call you the chief questions

1239
01:02:35,400 --> 01:02:38,120
Speaker 1: off for stuff that's so good because I've been lucky,

1240
01:02:38,160 --> 01:02:40,800
Speaker 1: and you know, I love tech, and a lot of

1241
01:02:40,840 --> 01:02:43,440
Speaker 1: tech is asking questions. A lot of what I do

1242
01:02:43,480 --> 01:02:48,000
Speaker 1: in life is enjoying asking questions and becoming less afraid

1243
01:02:48,480 --> 01:02:52,600
Speaker 1: of how stupid you may seem or feel asking the question. Yeah,

1244
01:02:53,080 --> 01:02:56,360
Speaker 1: that's oftentimes what I see with kids. The reason they

1245
01:02:56,400 --> 01:02:58,400
Speaker 1: learn as quickly as they do, it's not just because

1246
01:02:58,440 --> 01:03:01,000
Speaker 1: of their brains, but I feel like it's because they

1247
01:03:01,360 --> 01:03:03,440
Speaker 1: don't have an idea of who they all aren't supposed

1248
01:03:03,480 --> 01:03:06,440
Speaker 1: to be, and so they ask questions, and they ask questions,

1249
01:03:06,440 --> 01:03:08,000
Speaker 1: and they ask questions, and they ask questions, and they

1250
01:03:08,000 --> 01:03:10,520
Speaker 1: ask questions and they ask questions, and so what happens

1251
01:03:10,600 --> 01:03:14,440
Speaker 1: is a they get answers, but be they discover that

1252
01:03:14,520 --> 01:03:16,400
Speaker 1: the people they're asking the questions off sometimes don't even

1253
01:03:16,400 --> 01:03:19,400
Speaker 1: have the answer. They just assumed an idea or the way,

1254
01:03:19,520 --> 01:03:22,600
Speaker 1: you know, the way the world was. And I often

1255
01:03:22,640 --> 01:03:26,560
Speaker 1: remind myself that if if I become too tied to

1256
01:03:26,640 --> 01:03:30,600
Speaker 1: the idea of being smart or being informed or knowing,

1257
01:03:31,520 --> 01:03:35,040
Speaker 1: then I'm trapped. I would rather say I try to

1258
01:03:35,120 --> 01:03:37,840
Speaker 1: be smart. I try to be informed. But if there's

1259
01:03:37,880 --> 01:03:40,360
Speaker 1: one thing I know, I am, well, it's an idiot,

1260
01:03:40,440 --> 01:03:42,120
Speaker 1: and there's nothing wrong with that. And I enjoy it,

1261
01:03:42,800 --> 01:03:44,560
Speaker 1: you know, because then I can be the smartest idiot

1262
01:03:44,560 --> 01:03:46,320
Speaker 1: you've ever met, and I can be the most informed

1263
01:03:46,320 --> 01:03:48,480
Speaker 1: idiot you've ever met. And I'm fine with that because

1264
01:03:48,480 --> 01:03:53,120
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to be the most natural me. That's

1265
01:03:53,160 --> 01:03:56,240
Speaker 1: a that's a good identity. One thing I noticed about

1266
01:03:56,240 --> 01:03:58,360
Speaker 1: the way you ask questions in our interview when you

1267
01:03:58,440 --> 01:04:01,240
Speaker 1: interview me, but also today, and something I appreciate and

1268
01:04:01,360 --> 01:04:05,200
Speaker 1: there is it's rare as I think most people. When

1269
01:04:05,240 --> 01:04:07,640
Speaker 1: you were saying, like someone assumed you're a democrat, I

1270
01:04:07,720 --> 01:04:11,400
Speaker 1: think most people ask questions in order to either agree

1271
01:04:11,560 --> 01:04:15,080
Speaker 1: or disagree with what comes out the other person's mouth.

1272
01:04:16,200 --> 01:04:19,640
Speaker 1: But we ask our best questions when we simply ask

1273
01:04:19,760 --> 01:04:23,960
Speaker 1: to learn and infer. And so now it's not asking

1274
01:04:24,040 --> 01:04:27,040
Speaker 1: to see whether we are on the same page. You're

1275
01:04:27,080 --> 01:04:29,880
Speaker 1: just asking to know, because I think what we often

1276
01:04:29,920 --> 01:04:32,320
Speaker 1: do is we ask a question and even if the

1277
01:04:32,520 --> 01:04:35,080
Speaker 1: base answer kind of sounds similar, we go, oh, we're

1278
01:04:35,120 --> 01:04:36,800
Speaker 1: on the same page, like oh me, and you you know,

1279
01:04:36,880 --> 01:04:39,000
Speaker 1: we're like we have the same values, and it's like, well, no,

1280
01:04:39,080 --> 01:04:42,120
Speaker 1: we don't. We just haven't dug deep enough. And I

1281
01:04:42,200 --> 01:04:44,240
Speaker 1: think we're often not patient. And I think that's why

1282
01:04:44,320 --> 01:04:46,920
Speaker 1: in so many relationships, in our lives and everywhere what

1283
01:04:47,080 --> 01:04:49,520
Speaker 1: you said, you said, a friend is someone who I

1284
01:04:49,680 --> 01:04:53,120
Speaker 1: know how they'd be in most situations. And I think

1285
01:04:53,160 --> 01:04:54,840
Speaker 1: when you quickly go oh, yeah, yeah, we have the

1286
01:04:54,840 --> 01:04:58,680
Speaker 1: same values, we have the same belief system, that's often

1287
01:04:58,760 --> 01:05:02,360
Speaker 1: incorrect because we just haven't asked enough questions to infer

1288
01:05:02,520 --> 01:05:06,040
Speaker 1: because we really want to feel that hidden us. Yeah

1289
01:05:06,840 --> 01:05:09,440
Speaker 1: that does. Actually I feel like that when you ask questions.

1290
01:05:09,520 --> 01:05:11,280
Speaker 1: And so I'm throwing that back at you, saying when

1291
01:05:11,480 --> 01:05:13,880
Speaker 1: you ask questions. So going back to what we were

1292
01:05:13,880 --> 01:05:16,320
Speaker 1: talking about about being an outsider, being an insider, where

1293
01:05:16,320 --> 01:05:18,680
Speaker 1: do I find a home? Where do I find familiar familiarity?

1294
01:05:19,720 --> 01:05:21,960
Speaker 1: You are familiar with this to a certain degree because

1295
01:05:22,000 --> 01:05:25,160
Speaker 1: of moving out of the UK, going to India, you know,

1296
01:05:25,360 --> 01:05:27,320
Speaker 1: going on that journey, and then moving from then then

1297
01:05:27,400 --> 01:05:31,240
Speaker 1: coming to America. It's another one thing that happens to

1298
01:05:31,320 --> 01:05:36,440
Speaker 1: you when you leave home is that you have to

1299
01:05:36,520 --> 01:05:40,680
Speaker 1: then either find home or you have to understand why

1300
01:05:40,760 --> 01:05:44,720
Speaker 1: this is home, or you have to become comfortable in

1301
01:05:44,840 --> 01:05:48,280
Speaker 1: a new space so that it will be your new home.

1302
01:05:49,640 --> 01:05:52,240
Speaker 1: And the best way to do that is by understanding.

1303
01:05:52,720 --> 01:05:56,160
Speaker 1: Is what I find oftentimes you aren't forced to understand

1304
01:05:56,920 --> 01:06:00,760
Speaker 1: if you are in the majority, If the norm is

1305
01:06:00,840 --> 01:06:05,160
Speaker 1: your world, you're fine. Yeah. If everyone has your accents, well,

1306
01:06:05,200 --> 01:06:09,040
Speaker 1: then you don't need to understand another accent. If everybody

1307
01:06:09,200 --> 01:06:11,479
Speaker 1: is your skin color, you don't need to understand another

1308
01:06:11,480 --> 01:06:14,120
Speaker 1: skin color. Everybody's your culture, if everybody is your language,

1309
01:06:14,160 --> 01:06:17,280
Speaker 1: if everybody's your you know, socio economic class, whatever it

1310
01:06:17,360 --> 01:06:21,480
Speaker 1: may be, then you don't need to understand. And so

1311
01:06:22,880 --> 01:06:25,360
Speaker 1: what I've grown up with because I grew up with

1312
01:06:25,440 --> 01:06:29,120
Speaker 1: a black woman pass a woman being my mother, white

1313
01:06:29,160 --> 01:06:34,160
Speaker 1: man swissman being my father, family mixed country, broken up,

1314
01:06:34,280 --> 01:06:39,480
Speaker 1: separated because of class, because of race. Predominantly, I found

1315
01:06:39,520 --> 01:06:45,200
Speaker 1: myself often having to understand whatever it was language, culture, music, food,

1316
01:06:45,400 --> 01:06:49,400
Speaker 1: I did I have to understand. And what I've found

1317
01:06:50,520 --> 01:06:55,720
Speaker 1: is that is often the fastest path to home is

1318
01:06:55,920 --> 01:07:01,600
Speaker 1: just understanding. You know, hammock is a terrible bed unless

1319
01:07:01,600 --> 01:07:04,680
Speaker 1: you understand how to sleep in it. And I think

1320
01:07:04,680 --> 01:07:08,280
Speaker 1: the same goes for everyone and everything. Foreign country doesn't

1321
01:07:08,320 --> 01:07:12,040
Speaker 1: feel like home until you understand the language, and then

1322
01:07:12,040 --> 01:07:14,720
Speaker 1: all of a sudden things start to work. Yeah, you know,

1323
01:07:14,840 --> 01:07:17,240
Speaker 1: so when I ask a question of you, as Jay,

1324
01:07:17,280 --> 01:07:21,360
Speaker 1: I genuinely do it to understand, you know, because you

1325
01:07:21,440 --> 01:07:23,600
Speaker 1: know with you, I agree, and I'm genuine trying to

1326
01:07:23,720 --> 01:07:26,600
Speaker 1: understand more because the things I may disagree with, Funny enough,

1327
01:07:26,640 --> 01:07:28,280
Speaker 1: more is like how I'm living my life, and I'm

1328
01:07:28,280 --> 01:07:30,000
Speaker 1: trying to understand more about like how you see and

1329
01:07:30,040 --> 01:07:31,720
Speaker 1: then how do I you know, it's not to agree

1330
01:07:31,760 --> 01:07:33,120
Speaker 1: or disagree, but more to be like, oh I needn't

1331
01:07:33,160 --> 01:07:35,840
Speaker 1: understand this. And then sometimes it'll be with people where

1332
01:07:35,840 --> 01:07:37,920
Speaker 1: I don't agree with them, So I want to understand.

1333
01:07:38,440 --> 01:07:40,440
Speaker 1: I see the world and it seems so clear to me.

1334
01:07:40,640 --> 01:07:43,600
Speaker 1: Can you explain why you don't see what I'm seeing? Yeah?

1335
01:07:44,240 --> 01:07:47,920
Speaker 1: You know, that's that's oftentimes what plagues me as as

1336
01:07:47,960 --> 01:07:49,840
Speaker 1: a person is I think we live in a world

1337
01:07:49,960 --> 01:07:54,640
Speaker 1: now where there are fewer and fewer experiences that we

1338
01:07:54,720 --> 01:07:57,720
Speaker 1: all relate to or that we've all gone through, and

1339
01:07:57,920 --> 01:08:02,440
Speaker 1: so wild it's great for individualism, and it's great for us,

1340
01:08:03,040 --> 01:08:05,760
Speaker 1: you know, living in our own niche, it has robbed

1341
01:08:05,880 --> 01:08:08,840
Speaker 1: us of a collective understanding. And so whether it's in

1342
01:08:08,920 --> 01:08:11,000
Speaker 1: politics or whether it's in society or whatever it is.

1343
01:08:11,560 --> 01:08:15,120
Speaker 1: You know, I think it's healthy to disagree, Like you know, Jay,

1344
01:08:15,320 --> 01:08:18,680
Speaker 1: I don't think that that's that, But it's another thing

1345
01:08:18,760 --> 01:08:22,360
Speaker 1: to say, you know, that's my parking. No, that's my parking,

1346
01:08:22,840 --> 01:08:26,760
Speaker 1: versus that's my parking. What parking? Wait, you don't see

1347
01:08:26,800 --> 01:08:29,240
Speaker 1: a parking. Well. Now we're in a bigger and that's

1348
01:08:29,240 --> 01:08:34,080
Speaker 1: why I feel like society is moving towards as as everything, entertainment,

1349
01:08:34,240 --> 01:08:36,479
Speaker 1: social media, all these things become more niche. I think

1350
01:08:36,520 --> 01:08:38,680
Speaker 1: we're losing that collective space to be in. And so

1351
01:08:39,479 --> 01:08:42,880
Speaker 1: because I've always been outside, because I've never been part

1352
01:08:42,960 --> 01:08:47,080
Speaker 1: of I've always been forced to understand why do you

1353
01:08:47,120 --> 01:08:48,640
Speaker 1: do that? Why do you say that? How do you

1354
01:08:48,720 --> 01:08:52,000
Speaker 1: eat this? You know? So, when I'm in India and

1355
01:08:52,080 --> 01:08:53,720
Speaker 1: I'm eating and I go, okay, can you help me,

1356
01:08:53,960 --> 01:08:55,760
Speaker 1: help me understand why you use your hand the way

1357
01:08:55,800 --> 01:08:57,919
Speaker 1: you do? What are you trying to? Okay? Great chopsticks?

1358
01:08:57,960 --> 01:09:00,400
Speaker 1: For the first time, I have to all these things

1359
01:09:00,439 --> 01:09:03,519
Speaker 1: as opposed to assuming or even not being willing to.

1360
01:09:04,479 --> 01:09:06,200
Speaker 1: So maybe that's why I ask a question the way

1361
01:09:06,240 --> 01:09:10,360
Speaker 1: I do is because I just don't understand why you

1362
01:09:10,479 --> 01:09:12,560
Speaker 1: see the world the way you do, and once I do,

1363
01:09:13,320 --> 01:09:16,680
Speaker 1: I now get to hold two truths. I get to

1364
01:09:16,800 --> 01:09:19,360
Speaker 1: see how you see the world. I get to know

1365
01:09:19,479 --> 01:09:23,120
Speaker 1: how I see the world, and I may augment my

1366
01:09:23,400 --> 01:09:25,679
Speaker 1: way of seeing it, or I'll be able to help

1367
01:09:25,720 --> 01:09:27,360
Speaker 1: you understand why I see it the way I do

1368
01:09:27,520 --> 01:09:29,760
Speaker 1: because I now understand yours. I don't think I can

1369
01:09:29,840 --> 01:09:33,000
Speaker 1: do that if I if I don't ask. Absolutely, That's

1370
01:09:33,040 --> 01:09:35,280
Speaker 1: exactly what I'm trying to say, is that when I

1371
01:09:35,400 --> 01:09:37,679
Speaker 1: was saying learned, that's what I mean. Understand, Like you're

1372
01:09:37,760 --> 01:09:41,240
Speaker 1: asking to learn, You're asking to understand. There's not an

1373
01:09:41,320 --> 01:09:43,800
Speaker 1: asking to say, yes, we're the same or nowhere not

1374
01:09:43,960 --> 01:09:47,360
Speaker 1: the same. And I've read somewhere when when I was

1375
01:09:47,400 --> 01:09:49,240
Speaker 1: looking at this interview about how you were saying like,

1376
01:09:49,320 --> 01:09:53,120
Speaker 1: because you've never felt of something, you've always felt outside,

1377
01:09:53,200 --> 01:09:55,760
Speaker 1: you've always been able to see the full picture. And

1378
01:09:55,880 --> 01:09:58,160
Speaker 1: I was literally just saying this today that I grew

1379
01:09:58,240 --> 01:10:01,320
Speaker 1: up in a home where my par 's really agreed

1380
01:10:01,520 --> 01:10:05,720
Speaker 1: on anything, and I was always the mediator. Interesting, and

1381
01:10:05,880 --> 01:10:07,920
Speaker 1: so I would sit and listen to my mom and

1382
01:10:08,000 --> 01:10:11,040
Speaker 1: I would understand how she felt, and then I'd sit

1383
01:10:11,080 --> 01:10:12,680
Speaker 1: and listen to my dad and I always had an

1384
01:10:12,720 --> 01:10:16,240
Speaker 1: equal level of love and respect for them from their

1385
01:10:16,320 --> 01:10:19,439
Speaker 1: individual relationship with me, even though collectively they didn't they

1386
01:10:19,479 --> 01:10:22,400
Speaker 1: didn't add it together. And I found that when I

1387
01:10:22,520 --> 01:10:24,960
Speaker 1: read that about you, I was wanting to ask you

1388
01:10:24,960 --> 01:10:28,439
Speaker 1: about it because I was like, that's where I feel happier,

1389
01:10:29,120 --> 01:10:32,400
Speaker 1: learning about people and trying to understand people, because I

1390
01:10:32,479 --> 01:10:35,280
Speaker 1: could see both my mom and dad were right in

1391
01:10:35,439 --> 01:10:37,360
Speaker 1: so many ways, Like I would sit with my mom

1392
01:10:37,439 --> 01:10:39,439
Speaker 1: and be like, how does dad not see that? And

1393
01:10:39,479 --> 01:10:40,840
Speaker 1: I would sit with Dad and be like how does

1394
01:10:40,920 --> 01:10:43,400
Speaker 1: mom not see that? Like how are we missing this

1395
01:10:43,560 --> 01:10:46,200
Speaker 1: part of the picture? And I felt miserably at trying

1396
01:10:46,240 --> 01:10:49,040
Speaker 1: to help the situations. But I think that's partly why

1397
01:10:49,080 --> 01:10:51,479
Speaker 1: I do what I do today, because so much of

1398
01:10:51,560 --> 01:10:55,920
Speaker 1: me was exposed to different opinions. So when I when

1399
01:10:55,920 --> 01:10:59,439
Speaker 1: I read that about you, I was like, I'd love

1400
01:10:59,479 --> 01:11:02,920
Speaker 1: to know how did you deal with that feeling? Like

1401
01:11:03,000 --> 01:11:05,320
Speaker 1: how did you deal with the idea? And I know

1402
01:11:05,360 --> 01:11:07,920
Speaker 1: you're saying it flippantly in conversation, but like, how did

1403
01:11:08,000 --> 01:11:10,800
Speaker 1: you deal with the pressure and the idea that you

1404
01:11:10,960 --> 01:11:14,360
Speaker 1: failed to reconcile? What was happening between the two of them?

1405
01:11:14,960 --> 01:11:17,519
Speaker 1: I think two me years to accept that and to

1406
01:11:18,000 --> 01:11:19,639
Speaker 1: feel that way, because I think when you're a kid,

1407
01:11:19,680 --> 01:11:22,040
Speaker 1: it's what you said, you just accept that this is normality.

1408
01:11:22,160 --> 01:11:23,400
Speaker 1: So when I was a kid, I didn't even think

1409
01:11:23,400 --> 01:11:25,719
Speaker 1: of it. So this is normal. Parents don't get along.

1410
01:11:26,160 --> 01:11:27,640
Speaker 1: I want to help my mom out. I'm a good son.

1411
01:11:27,680 --> 01:11:29,519
Speaker 1: I want to help my dad out. You know, we're

1412
01:11:29,520 --> 01:11:31,720
Speaker 1: figuring it out. And i'd probably say I spent a

1413
01:11:31,800 --> 01:11:34,560
Speaker 1: good part of like at least my adult life, so

1414
01:11:34,680 --> 01:11:37,320
Speaker 1: say from well, maybe not even adult, maybe since I

1415
01:11:37,400 --> 01:11:39,759
Speaker 1: was ten, maybe from ten to twenty one, like probably

1416
01:11:39,800 --> 01:11:42,760
Speaker 1: eleven years trying to fix that and trying to think

1417
01:11:42,800 --> 01:11:44,600
Speaker 1: I could fix that or that we could improve it.

1418
01:11:45,280 --> 01:11:49,280
Speaker 1: And while things got better. Sorry, just ye to your point,

1419
01:11:49,400 --> 01:11:52,120
Speaker 1: because you were trying to create the safety because as

1420
01:11:52,120 --> 01:11:54,280
Speaker 1: a child, I feel like there are a few things

1421
01:11:54,360 --> 01:11:57,599
Speaker 1: that make you feel less safe than your two parental figures.

1422
01:11:58,320 --> 01:12:00,439
Speaker 1: You know. Sorry, but carry on. No, no, no, it's interesting.

1423
01:12:00,560 --> 01:12:02,320
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, going back to the safety that you're saying.

1424
01:12:02,360 --> 01:12:05,639
Speaker 1: You're trying to make your walls because love didn't work.

1425
01:12:05,920 --> 01:12:08,479
Speaker 1: It didn't It didn't matter how many Valentine's Days there were,

1426
01:12:08,520 --> 01:12:10,680
Speaker 1: It didn't matter how many romantic gestures. It didn't matter

1427
01:12:11,040 --> 01:12:13,040
Speaker 1: saying I love you or a love letter, but it

1428
01:12:13,120 --> 01:12:15,759
Speaker 1: was safety. Yeah, And so I was trying that probably

1429
01:12:15,800 --> 01:12:18,120
Speaker 1: for a good eleven years, and then I think when

1430
01:12:18,120 --> 01:12:19,720
Speaker 1: I went off to the monastery, was still there in

1431
01:12:19,800 --> 01:12:21,280
Speaker 1: my heart. And then I think while I was there,

1432
01:12:21,360 --> 01:12:23,080
Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, I have to let go of

1433
01:12:23,200 --> 01:12:28,360
Speaker 1: this because it's not my responsibility, it's not my ability.

1434
01:12:29,000 --> 01:12:32,839
Speaker 1: I don't have the powers to fix this, and that's okay,

1435
01:12:33,680 --> 01:12:36,320
Speaker 1: and that if I'm able to let go of this,

1436
01:12:37,640 --> 01:12:40,360
Speaker 1: then not only would things improved there, I can help

1437
01:12:40,400 --> 01:12:42,800
Speaker 1: people who want to be helped as well. And I

1438
01:12:42,880 --> 01:12:45,200
Speaker 1: think that was a whole, like, probably like a fifteen

1439
01:12:45,280 --> 01:12:48,400
Speaker 1: year journey to get to that, because otherwise you hold

1440
01:12:48,439 --> 01:12:52,080
Speaker 1: it as your like, your like responsibility, like this is

1441
01:12:52,160 --> 01:12:54,920
Speaker 1: my job almost. And I think that's what many of

1442
01:12:55,040 --> 01:13:00,600
Speaker 1: us have done, is we have been burdened with and

1443
01:13:00,760 --> 01:13:04,760
Speaker 1: oftentimes subconsciously a job or a role that our parents

1444
01:13:04,840 --> 01:13:07,560
Speaker 1: didn't realize they were burdening us with. Wow, you know,

1445
01:13:07,800 --> 01:13:12,080
Speaker 1: oftentimes I find it so interesting how the loudest parents

1446
01:13:12,120 --> 01:13:13,800
Speaker 1: who aren't good at reading a room will have the

1447
01:13:14,280 --> 01:13:17,280
Speaker 1: most shy child, you know, and and then the parents

1448
01:13:17,320 --> 01:13:20,280
Speaker 1: who aren't good at being outgoing, and they'll have kids

1449
01:13:20,320 --> 01:13:22,920
Speaker 1: who are running and screaming and greeting everybody and talking

1450
01:13:22,960 --> 01:13:25,720
Speaker 1: to them because there's this interesting thing that happens in

1451
01:13:25,880 --> 01:13:29,120
Speaker 1: nature where I feel like, you know, the child tries

1452
01:13:29,200 --> 01:13:32,320
Speaker 1: to correct for what the parent may be lacking. Wow,

1453
01:13:32,479 --> 01:13:37,000
Speaker 1: you know. And it's it's really fascinating that you say that, Yeah,

1454
01:13:37,360 --> 01:13:40,320
Speaker 1: because what happens is, over time, you get to an

1455
01:13:40,320 --> 01:13:43,800
Speaker 1: age where then you have to take off you know,

1456
01:13:43,920 --> 01:13:47,440
Speaker 1: that armor, take off that cape, take off that that designation,

1457
01:13:48,840 --> 01:13:52,200
Speaker 1: and understand that now you've lived that, you've gained the

1458
01:13:52,280 --> 01:13:54,080
Speaker 1: tools from it. It's become a lot of who you

1459
01:13:54,200 --> 01:13:56,880
Speaker 1: are today, but you have to let it go. And

1460
01:13:57,040 --> 01:14:00,600
Speaker 1: that that I find is terrifying, because the only thing

1461
01:14:00,680 --> 01:14:06,160
Speaker 1: scarier than accepting who we are is accepting that we

1462
01:14:06,240 --> 01:14:08,840
Speaker 1: don't know who we are going to be when we

1463
01:14:08,960 --> 01:14:11,160
Speaker 1: let go of the things that I've made us who

1464
01:14:11,200 --> 01:14:13,960
Speaker 1: we are today. Yeah, And that's that not knowing as

1465
01:14:14,000 --> 01:14:17,800
Speaker 1: simple as leaving a party early. It's that same feeling

1466
01:14:17,880 --> 01:14:20,840
Speaker 1: of discomfort of like, did I make the right choice

1467
01:14:21,000 --> 01:14:23,280
Speaker 1: if I stayed here? Would it have? If I kept

1468
01:14:23,360 --> 01:14:26,920
Speaker 1: that role? Would it have? And Yeah, I was talking

1469
01:14:26,960 --> 01:14:30,080
Speaker 1: to a client the other day and she said something

1470
01:14:30,160 --> 01:14:32,920
Speaker 1: really interesting. She was saying, I just never grew up

1471
01:14:32,960 --> 01:14:35,519
Speaker 1: with an opinion. She goes, I've just never really had

1472
01:14:35,520 --> 01:14:38,240
Speaker 1: an opinion. And I've known her for some time, so

1473
01:14:38,320 --> 01:14:42,800
Speaker 1: it was a fairly it was a progressed conversation. It

1474
01:14:42,960 --> 01:14:45,760
Speaker 1: wasn't the first time and we were talking about it.

1475
01:14:45,840 --> 01:14:47,360
Speaker 1: She was saying, well, I've never really had an opinion

1476
01:14:47,479 --> 01:14:50,280
Speaker 1: on this or that, and so when people ask me

1477
01:14:50,360 --> 01:14:52,200
Speaker 1: what I want to do, or when my partner asked

1478
01:14:52,240 --> 01:14:53,720
Speaker 1: me what I want to do, I kind of like

1479
01:14:53,840 --> 01:14:55,920
Speaker 1: go along with it. But now I'm starting the question

1480
01:14:56,080 --> 01:14:59,439
Speaker 1: like am I living my life or someone else's. And

1481
01:14:59,520 --> 01:15:02,000
Speaker 1: it was really interesting because we were really getting into it,

1482
01:15:02,200 --> 01:15:05,640
Speaker 1: and I started talking to her about her parents and

1483
01:15:05,760 --> 01:15:09,120
Speaker 1: family dynamic, and she said something really phenomenal to me.

1484
01:15:09,240 --> 01:15:14,240
Speaker 1: She said that my brother and my dad always used

1485
01:15:14,280 --> 01:15:19,040
Speaker 1: to argue and I was the peacemaker, and she goes,

1486
01:15:19,120 --> 01:15:22,160
Speaker 1: when I felt pain, I never shared it because it

1487
01:15:22,200 --> 01:15:28,280
Speaker 1: would create more complexity, and so I accept that. She

1488
01:15:28,439 --> 01:15:30,760
Speaker 1: came to the conclusion that the reason I don't have

1489
01:15:30,840 --> 01:15:34,080
Speaker 1: an opinion is because it disturbs the peace. And when

1490
01:15:34,120 --> 01:15:36,760
Speaker 1: I don't have an opinion, the piece is kept and

1491
01:15:36,920 --> 01:15:38,599
Speaker 1: I was. You know, those are the kind of things

1492
01:15:38,640 --> 01:15:41,160
Speaker 1: that we're saying, Like we take the designation of peacemaker,

1493
01:15:41,320 --> 01:15:44,080
Speaker 1: you take the role in the designation of whatever I was.

1494
01:15:44,840 --> 01:15:47,560
Speaker 1: Sometimes the comedians take on the role of being a

1495
01:15:47,680 --> 01:15:50,280
Speaker 1: comedian because you kind of get her and the laugh

1496
01:15:50,360 --> 01:15:53,040
Speaker 1: and everyone, you know. And so I think these roles

1497
01:15:53,120 --> 01:15:55,479
Speaker 1: that you're talking about are really it's a really beautiful

1498
01:15:55,520 --> 01:15:58,160
Speaker 1: way that you said it. That we adopt this job

1499
01:15:58,240 --> 01:16:01,600
Speaker 1: and this role and this I think I think we do,

1500
01:16:01,760 --> 01:16:06,160
Speaker 1: and I often think sometimes it is necessary. Of course,

1501
01:16:06,479 --> 01:16:11,679
Speaker 1: I think it may be evolutionary whatever it is. You know. Again,

1502
01:16:11,760 --> 01:16:13,920
Speaker 1: That's why I don't go to it's bad, it's good.

1503
01:16:14,000 --> 01:16:18,000
Speaker 1: I go it is. It just is, And in understanding it,

1504
01:16:19,040 --> 01:16:22,000
Speaker 1: I realize there's nothing wrong with it being as long

1505
01:16:22,040 --> 01:16:24,040
Speaker 1: as you know when to let it go, you know.

1506
01:16:24,200 --> 01:16:27,400
Speaker 1: I often think that about seat belts when I'm in

1507
01:16:27,479 --> 01:16:31,680
Speaker 1: a call on a plane. Sometimes I forget that I'm

1508
01:16:31,680 --> 01:16:33,880
Speaker 1: wearing the seatbelt. I love wearing my seat belts, especially

1509
01:16:33,960 --> 01:16:36,000
Speaker 1: on a plane. I buckle it long before they tell

1510
01:16:36,120 --> 01:16:38,280
Speaker 1: I'm like in strapped. I don't know what it is.

1511
01:16:38,360 --> 01:16:41,160
Speaker 1: I love it even when you see it go off,

1512
01:16:41,760 --> 01:16:43,560
Speaker 1: that you know when they'll turn the seatbelt like on

1513
01:16:43,760 --> 01:16:45,920
Speaker 1: I'm like, what do you mean on it? The whole flight,

1514
01:16:46,120 --> 01:16:48,040
Speaker 1: I will be wearing the seatbelt, thank you very much.

1515
01:16:48,760 --> 01:16:50,800
Speaker 1: And what will happen? Sometimes I'm so comfortable as been

1516
01:16:50,880 --> 01:16:53,160
Speaker 1: the whole time. When we land, we chill, I don't

1517
01:16:53,240 --> 01:16:55,400
Speaker 1: rush to get my bags any of that, and then

1518
01:16:55,439 --> 01:16:58,000
Speaker 1: I'll stand and the seatbelt will pull me and it's always,

1519
01:16:58,040 --> 01:17:00,000
Speaker 1: like I love to myself, it always happens because it's

1520
01:17:00,000 --> 01:17:02,559
Speaker 1: because it's really down and it just you know, as

1521
01:17:02,600 --> 01:17:04,679
Speaker 1: I jump, I was like, pulls me back down, ias

1522
01:17:04,720 --> 01:17:08,960
Speaker 1: giggle and I unbuckle it. And I found myself thinking

1523
01:17:09,040 --> 01:17:10,680
Speaker 1: the one that I was like, it's amazing, how this

1524
01:17:11,720 --> 01:17:14,760
Speaker 1: this device is brilliant. It saves your life. You know,

1525
01:17:14,920 --> 01:17:17,400
Speaker 1: you know, car crash, you know you're you know, plane

1526
01:17:17,439 --> 01:17:18,880
Speaker 1: crash on a runway or whatever. I don't know how

1527
01:17:18,920 --> 01:17:20,479
Speaker 1: much you'll save you a big one, but still, you know,

1528
01:17:20,840 --> 01:17:24,080
Speaker 1: but this thing is it holds you. Wow, it's helping

1529
01:17:24,160 --> 01:17:26,000
Speaker 1: you stay in tech. It's helping you stay in the

1530
01:17:26,040 --> 01:17:29,200
Speaker 1: place you need to be in. But if you don't

1531
01:17:29,200 --> 01:17:30,519
Speaker 1: know how to let it go when you need to,

1532
01:17:31,400 --> 01:17:35,240
Speaker 1: now you're trapped. And so that's what I'm constantly trying

1533
01:17:35,320 --> 01:17:38,320
Speaker 1: to work on, which is so hard to It's like, man,

1534
01:17:38,400 --> 01:17:41,439
Speaker 1: I go like, okay, all right, my sa my safety belt,

1535
01:17:41,520 --> 01:17:45,000
Speaker 1: my seat belt, all right. It might be my personality.

1536
01:17:45,160 --> 01:17:47,400
Speaker 1: It might be the way I see the world. It

1537
01:17:47,560 --> 01:17:50,040
Speaker 1: might be how I've learned to interact with us. It

1538
01:17:50,200 --> 01:17:52,519
Speaker 1: might be anything how I eat, how I think, what

1539
01:17:52,640 --> 01:17:54,360
Speaker 1: I do, what I don't when I love what I wore,

1540
01:17:54,600 --> 01:17:57,839
Speaker 1: all these things and I get that, and I'm always

1541
01:17:58,240 --> 01:18:00,600
Speaker 1: just try and ask myself, I, okay, all right, is

1542
01:18:00,640 --> 01:18:03,799
Speaker 1: this still your seat belts or has it now become

1543
01:18:04,400 --> 01:18:07,280
Speaker 1: a trapping? And I always just have to ask myself

1544
01:18:07,360 --> 01:18:11,360
Speaker 1: that question. It's extremely difficult, you know. You just go

1545
01:18:11,439 --> 01:18:13,439
Speaker 1: around and around, and sometimes I do you know, yeah,

1546
01:18:13,520 --> 01:18:15,960
Speaker 1: a lot of the time, I'll i'll, I'll be chilly.

1547
01:18:16,160 --> 01:18:18,840
Speaker 1: Sometimes I don't think I can watch Harry Potter the

1548
01:18:18,880 --> 01:18:21,600
Speaker 1: same again, I don't. I don't think I can be

1549
01:18:21,680 --> 01:18:25,599
Speaker 1: on a plane the same again. Like, yeah, I love

1550
01:18:25,640 --> 01:18:29,560
Speaker 1: how you think. I think. It's so refreshing to hear that,

1551
01:18:29,680 --> 01:18:32,040
Speaker 1: And I the biggest thing I'm taking about this is

1552
01:18:32,120 --> 01:18:36,040
Speaker 1: just this ability to really question our lives, question things.

1553
01:18:36,120 --> 01:18:38,880
Speaker 1: I think. I think that is the purpose of life

1554
01:18:39,000 --> 01:18:42,880
Speaker 1: is to start asking questions, and what I loved about

1555
01:18:43,680 --> 01:18:45,320
Speaker 1: at least at least the scriptures I started on the

1556
01:18:45,400 --> 01:18:47,439
Speaker 1: Eastern side. They're all Q and a's, Like, they're all

1557
01:18:47,520 --> 01:18:50,360
Speaker 1: cute question and answer. None of them are like talking

1558
01:18:50,680 --> 01:18:54,840
Speaker 1: or lecturing. Ord is, Yeah, yeah, they're all Q and a's,

1559
01:18:55,200 --> 01:18:56,760
Speaker 1: And I think that was a big part of how

1560
01:18:56,920 --> 01:19:00,200
Speaker 1: we were trained to believe that all inquiry was the

1561
01:19:00,280 --> 01:19:02,439
Speaker 1: birth of wisdom. Like it had to be an inquiry,

1562
01:19:02,479 --> 01:19:04,600
Speaker 1: it had to be a conversation. It couldn't be a

1563
01:19:05,360 --> 01:19:08,920
Speaker 1: lecture or a seminar. And you know, I think when

1564
01:19:08,920 --> 01:19:10,920
Speaker 1: i'd sit with you, and whenever I've said with you,

1565
01:19:11,000 --> 01:19:12,800
Speaker 1: and whenever I've watched you, which I've admired you for

1566
01:19:12,880 --> 01:19:16,720
Speaker 1: so long, I think that the quality of questioning is

1567
01:19:16,800 --> 01:19:19,400
Speaker 1: really what we should be more focused on than the

1568
01:19:19,680 --> 01:19:21,720
Speaker 1: result and the answers. As you were saying earlier that

1569
01:19:22,360 --> 01:19:24,920
Speaker 1: if we asked questions we were actually interested in knowing

1570
01:19:25,000 --> 01:19:29,400
Speaker 1: the answer to, we'd actually listen to the answer. But Trevor,

1571
01:19:29,479 --> 01:19:32,599
Speaker 1: we end the show with two segments. These are fast segments. Okay,

1572
01:19:33,360 --> 01:19:35,040
Speaker 1: you've been more than generous with your time. So the

1573
01:19:35,120 --> 01:19:39,240
Speaker 1: first segment is called the Many Sides to Us. Okay,

1574
01:19:39,560 --> 01:19:41,719
Speaker 1: and so this you have to answer in one word,

1575
01:19:42,600 --> 01:19:45,519
Speaker 1: and there's five questions. So are you ready? I'm ready? Okay.

1576
01:19:46,080 --> 01:19:49,120
Speaker 1: What is one word to describe what someone would say

1577
01:19:49,160 --> 01:19:54,479
Speaker 1: about you meeting you for the first time? Friendly? Friendly? Yeah,

1578
01:19:54,600 --> 01:19:57,639
Speaker 1: friends and friendly two different things, but friendly? Okay? Question

1579
01:19:57,760 --> 01:20:00,240
Speaker 1: number two? What is one word to describe what someone

1580
01:20:00,280 --> 01:20:05,679
Speaker 1: would say about you that knows you extremely well? Consistent? Nice? Okay?

1581
01:20:05,840 --> 01:20:08,320
Speaker 1: Question number three? What is one word you'd used to

1582
01:20:08,400 --> 01:20:12,160
Speaker 1: describe yourself? Mercurial? Okay, all right, now I'm gonna have

1583
01:20:12,200 --> 01:20:14,360
Speaker 1: to ask you expand like that that I was not

1584
01:20:14,439 --> 01:20:16,840
Speaker 1: expecting that word that is a very yeah, tell me

1585
01:20:17,000 --> 01:20:19,519
Speaker 1: why that word? Like? You can now go off one

1586
01:20:19,600 --> 01:20:23,639
Speaker 1: word like I'm consistent in the fact that I'm also mercurial.

1587
01:20:23,960 --> 01:20:27,400
Speaker 1: Part of it. Funny enough, I think was not created

1588
01:20:27,439 --> 01:20:31,439
Speaker 1: by but as as somebody who has ADHD, it took

1589
01:20:31,439 --> 01:20:32,800
Speaker 1: me a long time to learn in life what that

1590
01:20:32,920 --> 01:20:36,000
Speaker 1: did to my brain, how that affected how I process time,

1591
01:20:36,560 --> 01:20:41,840
Speaker 1: an idea, a thought, an object, any any inquiry that

1592
01:20:41,920 --> 01:20:44,920
Speaker 1: I would have could be in some way, shape or

1593
01:20:44,960 --> 01:20:47,439
Speaker 1: form affected by that. And I think, funny enough, there's

1594
01:20:47,439 --> 01:20:51,479
Speaker 1: a there's a huge misunderstanding sometimes I actually, you know,

1595
01:20:52,080 --> 01:20:55,360
Speaker 1: hate how we've created a lot of the conversations around

1596
01:20:55,400 --> 01:20:57,240
Speaker 1: the mind is the best way to put it, you know,

1597
01:20:57,360 --> 01:21:00,679
Speaker 1: because because of the some of the terms have become

1598
01:21:00,760 --> 01:21:03,320
Speaker 1: so wrote and some of the ideas have become so

1599
01:21:03,560 --> 01:21:07,760
Speaker 1: simple when they're not. Um. I remember when I was

1600
01:21:07,880 --> 01:21:09,800
Speaker 1: young and I was diagnosed with ADHD. They made they

1601
01:21:09,800 --> 01:21:14,600
Speaker 1: made it seem like you can't pay attention, when in

1602
01:21:14,720 --> 01:21:16,479
Speaker 1: fact it's the fact that you can't choose what to

1603
01:21:16,840 --> 01:21:20,160
Speaker 1: pay your attention to. Very good at paying attention and

1604
01:21:20,280 --> 01:21:24,120
Speaker 1: so wow, wow, yeah, it's a very nuance, subtle. Yeah,

1605
01:21:24,160 --> 01:21:25,800
Speaker 1: it makes a big difference. It makes a big difference.

1606
01:21:26,880 --> 01:21:29,240
Speaker 1: And so what what what's been wonderful for me in

1607
01:21:29,360 --> 01:21:34,120
Speaker 1: life is learning again how to be grateful for how

1608
01:21:34,160 --> 01:21:38,599
Speaker 1: I've dealt with something, not even looking at it through

1609
01:21:38,640 --> 01:21:40,479
Speaker 1: the lens of good or bad, but just going it

1610
01:21:40,840 --> 01:21:43,800
Speaker 1: is and then understanding it like that, you know. And

1611
01:21:43,960 --> 01:21:46,080
Speaker 1: that's what I mean by I think we've really hurt

1612
01:21:46,120 --> 01:21:48,840
Speaker 1: ourselves in society with with how we've had some conversations

1613
01:21:48,960 --> 01:21:53,400
Speaker 1: because we've made it seem bad or good as opposed

1614
01:21:53,439 --> 01:21:57,000
Speaker 1: to understanding because it may not be the same as

1615
01:21:57,040 --> 01:22:00,280
Speaker 1: the norm. You know, so is a short person good

1616
01:22:00,360 --> 01:22:03,040
Speaker 1: or bad? No, they're just short. And the reason we

1617
01:22:03,080 --> 01:22:06,320
Speaker 1: say short is because they're short relative to the general population,

1618
01:22:06,400 --> 01:22:08,519
Speaker 1: the same way someone who's tall is tall relative to

1619
01:22:09,080 --> 01:22:12,320
Speaker 1: the general population. Now, if you're tall, you may be

1620
01:22:12,400 --> 01:22:14,360
Speaker 1: bumping your head a lot more than other people. If

1621
01:22:14,400 --> 01:22:16,720
Speaker 1: you're short, you may not be reaching the things that

1622
01:22:16,800 --> 01:22:19,640
Speaker 1: people have put at an average height. I think the

1623
01:22:19,680 --> 01:22:22,240
Speaker 1: same thing goes for the mind. If you're blessed enough

1624
01:22:22,320 --> 01:22:24,720
Speaker 1: to have a mind or a mentality that is of

1625
01:22:24,840 --> 01:22:27,519
Speaker 1: the norm, most things will work for you, and most

1626
01:22:27,560 --> 01:22:30,639
Speaker 1: things will make sense in life. If your mind isn't,

1627
01:22:30,840 --> 01:22:33,960
Speaker 1: that's why they use divergent. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong,

1628
01:22:34,240 --> 01:22:37,280
Speaker 1: but you need to understand how your mind will react

1629
01:22:37,880 --> 01:22:40,479
Speaker 1: to a world that has been designed in a certain way.

1630
01:22:41,200 --> 01:22:45,080
Speaker 1: And so that is why I've learned to understand and accept.

1631
01:22:45,160 --> 01:22:48,439
Speaker 1: I go, I'm mercurial again. Was a friend who taught

1632
01:22:48,479 --> 01:22:50,479
Speaker 1: me that, and I loved it once I understood it.

1633
01:22:50,560 --> 01:22:52,200
Speaker 1: First I was I was like, no, I'm not, I'm not.

1634
01:22:52,360 --> 01:22:54,080
Speaker 1: He's like, he's like, yeah, you're mercurial. And I was like,

1635
01:22:54,240 --> 01:22:55,800
Speaker 1: first of all, explain the word yeah. And then he

1636
01:22:55,800 --> 01:22:57,200
Speaker 1: explained it to me. I was like, I'm not that

1637
01:22:57,360 --> 01:22:59,920
Speaker 1: im and then I realized I could could I could

1638
01:23:00,080 --> 01:23:05,240
Speaker 1: be two things. I'm extremely consistent. Anyone who needs me

1639
01:23:05,360 --> 01:23:06,920
Speaker 1: knows me, they know where to find me, they know

1640
01:23:07,000 --> 01:23:10,160
Speaker 1: how I'll be. But I'm also mercurial in that how

1641
01:23:10,240 --> 01:23:11,680
Speaker 1: I feel about this on a day and how I

1642
01:23:11,720 --> 01:23:14,839
Speaker 1: feel about that's on a day may be more extreme

1643
01:23:14,920 --> 01:23:18,360
Speaker 1: than somebody else's range. And so in that again, just

1644
01:23:18,520 --> 01:23:21,599
Speaker 1: the understanding and asking the questions of myself, I then

1645
01:23:22,240 --> 01:23:24,800
Speaker 1: exist in a space where I understand it. So it

1646
01:23:24,800 --> 01:23:27,840
Speaker 1: will be funny is sometimes I'll meet people and they'll

1647
01:23:27,880 --> 01:23:29,799
Speaker 1: get distracted and be like, oh, sorry, that's my ADHD

1648
01:23:29,840 --> 01:23:34,640
Speaker 1: and that's not what it is. But yeah whatever, you

1649
01:23:34,680 --> 01:23:36,479
Speaker 1: know that, like people have done this with everything. Oh

1650
01:23:36,479 --> 01:23:39,400
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm OCD. It's like I don't okay, yeah

1651
01:23:39,439 --> 01:23:41,120
Speaker 1: that's not what it Yeah. And so we have these

1652
01:23:41,320 --> 01:23:46,720
Speaker 1: very limited understandings of these things. Maybe and we've also

1653
01:23:46,880 --> 01:23:52,599
Speaker 1: created an idea of them being a bad, correct, good whatever.

1654
01:23:52,880 --> 01:23:56,280
Speaker 1: It's like, No, it's just understanding the same thing we

1655
01:23:56,360 --> 01:23:58,720
Speaker 1: do with glasses. At some point near Sides said, far

1656
01:23:58,800 --> 01:24:00,840
Speaker 1: Side said, I wear glasses now, and then at some

1657
01:24:00,880 --> 01:24:02,880
Speaker 1: point it was just that's what it is. Yeah, I

1658
01:24:02,960 --> 01:24:05,200
Speaker 1: think we have a long way to go in the

1659
01:24:05,280 --> 01:24:08,080
Speaker 1: conversations we have around the mind, yes, and getting us

1660
01:24:08,080 --> 01:24:10,840
Speaker 1: to the same place where when you meet someone they

1661
01:24:10,920 --> 01:24:13,640
Speaker 1: can say that to you and you now understand that,

1662
01:24:13,840 --> 01:24:17,519
Speaker 1: oh I wear glasses, okay, great, yes, you know, whereas

1663
01:24:17,520 --> 01:24:19,080
Speaker 1: I'm sure there was a point was like I wear glasses,

1664
01:24:19,120 --> 01:24:21,160
Speaker 1: so you're blind. Now people are just like, oh you

1665
01:24:21,200 --> 01:24:23,400
Speaker 1: do you wear glasses or you wear contacts? Okay, cool,

1666
01:24:23,880 --> 01:24:26,639
Speaker 1: that's that's who you are. Yeah, And I think that's

1667
01:24:26,680 --> 01:24:29,200
Speaker 1: what it is that our vocabulary around the mind and

1668
01:24:29,240 --> 01:24:32,000
Speaker 1: of psychology is very limited and your spot on and

1669
01:24:32,360 --> 01:24:34,120
Speaker 1: one thing that you said that really struck a Quarde

1670
01:24:34,160 --> 01:24:35,760
Speaker 1: was the idea that if the world is designed for

1671
01:24:35,840 --> 01:24:38,760
Speaker 1: the average yea, then the challenges that anyone outside of

1672
01:24:38,800 --> 01:24:42,040
Speaker 1: it feels broken. And that's where I think we've gone wrong,

1673
01:24:42,080 --> 01:24:44,600
Speaker 1: where it's like there's a weakness or a broken It's like, no,

1674
01:24:44,760 --> 01:24:48,160
Speaker 1: the world. If the world was designed for right those people, right,

1675
01:24:48,360 --> 01:24:51,479
Speaker 1: then we'd feel broken. And it's just that the world

1676
01:24:51,520 --> 01:24:53,599
Speaker 1: has been designed for this few people. If you created

1677
01:24:53,640 --> 01:24:55,920
Speaker 1: a new planet that was for only people who had

1678
01:24:55,960 --> 01:25:01,479
Speaker 1: attain disposition, then it would be a very different case. Yeah. No,

1679
01:25:01,840 --> 01:25:04,400
Speaker 1: I love that. That's a that's a great that's another

1680
01:25:04,439 --> 01:25:07,600
Speaker 1: whole two hour comp that's another Yeah, we'll save it,

1681
01:25:07,600 --> 01:25:11,320
Speaker 1: all right. Question number four, what is one word that

1682
01:25:11,439 --> 01:25:13,400
Speaker 1: if someone didn't agree with you or like you, how

1683
01:25:13,400 --> 01:25:15,240
Speaker 1: would they what would they say about you? Not like

1684
01:25:15,320 --> 01:25:18,599
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about like an internet roll or stubborn? Stubborn? Right? Okay,

1685
01:25:18,640 --> 01:25:20,400
Speaker 1: yeah there that's a good way. Yeah, yeah, that's good.

1686
01:25:20,560 --> 01:25:22,720
Speaker 1: That makes sense. I like that, all right. Question number five,

1687
01:25:23,080 --> 01:25:25,280
Speaker 1: what is the word that you're trying to embody right now?

1688
01:25:25,439 --> 01:25:28,759
Speaker 1: Is there like a focus, a presence with a particular

1689
01:25:29,439 --> 01:25:33,760
Speaker 1: characteristic or value or believe? Mindful? Great? All right, there's

1690
01:25:33,760 --> 01:25:36,160
Speaker 1: a great, there's a fantastic most people struggle with. So

1691
01:25:36,280 --> 01:25:38,200
Speaker 1: you did? You hit it out of the park. All right?

1692
01:25:38,240 --> 01:25:39,960
Speaker 1: These are the final five. These are easy, one word

1693
01:25:40,040 --> 01:25:42,679
Speaker 1: to one sentence. What's the best advice you've ever received?

1694
01:25:43,439 --> 01:25:46,080
Speaker 1: Never assume it's a great piece of advice. Second question,

1695
01:25:46,160 --> 01:25:48,080
Speaker 1: what is the worst piece of advice you've ever heard?

1696
01:25:48,439 --> 01:25:55,640
Speaker 1: Always be yourself? That's really all right times Yeah, to

1697
01:25:55,800 --> 01:25:58,639
Speaker 1: be you don't just be yourself. People say they'll relax,

1698
01:25:59,000 --> 01:26:02,320
Speaker 1: just be yourself. Yea las, Yeah, you know when to

1699
01:26:02,400 --> 01:26:03,960
Speaker 1: be yourself As a better piece of advice, so I

1700
01:26:04,000 --> 01:26:07,000
Speaker 1: can give you. That's good. Question number three, what is

1701
01:26:07,080 --> 01:26:10,400
Speaker 1: something you used to value that you no longer value? Fame?

1702
01:26:10,880 --> 01:26:14,080
Speaker 1: So there was a time when it was important and yeah,

1703
01:26:14,200 --> 01:26:17,320
Speaker 1: well yeah, I think I I thought that it would

1704
01:26:17,680 --> 01:26:21,280
Speaker 1: give me something that I searched for my whole life,

1705
01:26:21,680 --> 01:26:25,400
Speaker 1: and that was a certain sense of belonging. No, because

1706
01:26:25,520 --> 01:26:27,599
Speaker 1: there's a there's a familiarity you have with people when

1707
01:26:27,640 --> 01:26:29,920
Speaker 1: you see them. I never cared for through the lens

1708
01:26:29,960 --> 01:26:32,720
Speaker 1: of like I'm better, No, but I was like, oh man,

1709
01:26:32,760 --> 01:26:35,000
Speaker 1: everyone knows that person, everyone likes that was and you know,

1710
01:26:35,160 --> 01:26:36,799
Speaker 1: here I was this kid and I grew up alone

1711
01:26:36,880 --> 01:26:39,200
Speaker 1: for so long. I was like, oh, I'll be familiar

1712
01:26:39,479 --> 01:26:41,400
Speaker 1: the word fame, you know when you look at the root.

1713
01:26:42,000 --> 01:26:44,080
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, that that thing, I'll be familiar.

1714
01:26:44,400 --> 01:26:46,280
Speaker 1: And then ironically, as I said, it jumps straight to

1715
01:26:46,400 --> 01:26:49,080
Speaker 1: your unfamiliar and so then I realized. I was like,

1716
01:26:49,160 --> 01:26:52,320
Speaker 1: oh man, you don't think that it will come from something,

1717
01:26:53,040 --> 01:26:56,000
Speaker 1: but rather understand what you're trying to achieve, and then

1718
01:26:56,439 --> 01:26:58,280
Speaker 1: you know, figure out how you're trying to get there.

1719
01:26:58,479 --> 01:27:01,559
Speaker 1: That's beautiful. I love that. Question number four, how would

1720
01:27:01,560 --> 01:27:06,439
Speaker 1: you define your current purpose as being a fertilizer four

1721
01:27:07,200 --> 01:27:10,439
Speaker 1: everything and everyone I come into contact with. I would

1722
01:27:10,479 --> 01:27:14,200
Speaker 1: hope to be somebody who enriches the soil that I touch.

1723
01:27:14,800 --> 01:27:19,120
Speaker 1: I would hope to be somebody who improves somebody's life

1724
01:27:19,200 --> 01:27:21,960
Speaker 1: in the slightest of ways. Whether it's helping you solve

1725
01:27:22,000 --> 01:27:24,679
Speaker 1: a problem, whether it's giving you directions and the streets

1726
01:27:24,680 --> 01:27:27,840
Speaker 1: in New York, whether it's making you laugh at a show,

1727
01:27:28,439 --> 01:27:31,640
Speaker 1: you know, talking about politics, whatever it may be. I

1728
01:27:31,680 --> 01:27:34,760
Speaker 1: would hope to do what a good fertilizer does in

1729
01:27:34,920 --> 01:27:38,599
Speaker 1: that it enables the soil to be richer, It enables

1730
01:27:38,640 --> 01:27:42,519
Speaker 1: the plant to grow taller, it it brings all of

1731
01:27:42,600 --> 01:27:46,559
Speaker 1: the pieces together, you know, it becomes it becomes a food,

1732
01:27:46,760 --> 01:27:49,920
Speaker 1: it becomes it becomes a food that creates more food.

1733
01:27:50,640 --> 01:27:53,880
Speaker 1: You know. It's it's not a zero sum game. And

1734
01:27:54,000 --> 01:27:56,400
Speaker 1: so I would say that that would probably be what

1735
01:27:56,520 --> 01:27:58,800
Speaker 1: I'd like to focus on most right now, even for myself,

1736
01:27:58,800 --> 01:28:02,600
Speaker 1: because fertilizer even makes self bigger. It grows itself, you

1737
01:28:02,640 --> 01:28:04,760
Speaker 1: add more, multitu it and it keeps ongoing. And so

1738
01:28:04,920 --> 01:28:08,120
Speaker 1: I think I think even for me, you know, I

1739
01:28:08,640 --> 01:28:10,479
Speaker 1: look to try and fertilize as much as I can.

1740
01:28:10,720 --> 01:28:12,640
Speaker 1: I love that. That's one of my favorite answers to

1741
01:28:12,720 --> 01:28:15,120
Speaker 1: that question we've ever had. All Right, fifth and final

1742
01:28:15,280 --> 01:28:17,880
Speaker 1: question of the whole interview. If you could create one

1743
01:28:18,000 --> 01:28:20,080
Speaker 1: law that everyone in the world had to follow, what

1744
01:28:20,160 --> 01:28:22,679
Speaker 1: would it be? Everyone in the world, right or creates

1745
01:28:22,680 --> 01:28:29,160
Speaker 1: a law that said everyone everywhere in the world, randomly, randomly, randomly,

1746
01:28:30,320 --> 01:28:38,360
Speaker 1: could be given the lowest person's bank accounts like that,

1747
01:28:38,520 --> 01:28:40,160
Speaker 1: it could be like that would be the law is

1748
01:28:40,160 --> 01:28:43,600
Speaker 1: that we do this weird system where every whenever, it

1749
01:28:43,680 --> 01:28:47,519
Speaker 1: may be every year, randomly, the lowest person's bank account

1750
01:28:47,760 --> 01:28:50,719
Speaker 1: can just go out and become everybody's bank account. Wow.

1751
01:28:51,479 --> 01:28:54,080
Speaker 1: The reason I would do that is because I think

1752
01:28:55,920 --> 01:29:00,439
Speaker 1: if we lived in a society where more people felt

1753
01:29:00,520 --> 01:29:03,760
Speaker 1: like their fate was tied to the least of us,

1754
01:29:05,600 --> 01:29:11,080
Speaker 1: they would have a little more compassion and think a

1755
01:29:11,200 --> 01:29:14,160
Speaker 1: little more about how those people may or may not

1756
01:29:14,280 --> 01:29:16,920
Speaker 1: be existing. And that's why I say I wouldn't say

1757
01:29:16,920 --> 01:29:19,320
Speaker 1: anyone can't be rich. I'm not saying that. I wouldn't

1758
01:29:19,320 --> 01:29:21,240
Speaker 1: say anyone can't make as much money as they want. Oh, no,

1759
01:29:21,320 --> 01:29:24,120
Speaker 1: go ahead, we should all be doing that, enjoy it,

1760
01:29:24,240 --> 01:29:26,360
Speaker 1: go for it. But I would just want us all

1761
01:29:26,439 --> 01:29:29,880
Speaker 1: to know that the lowest bank balance, the lowest amount

1762
01:29:29,920 --> 01:29:32,840
Speaker 1: that someone has could randomly God, and I wouldn't be

1763
01:29:32,880 --> 01:29:35,080
Speaker 1: to everyone. Yeah, it would just have it. It would

1764
01:29:35,080 --> 01:29:36,840
Speaker 1: be like ten percent of the population. That's what's going

1765
01:29:36,880 --> 01:29:39,920
Speaker 1: to happen. It's the law. Every year ten percent of

1766
01:29:40,000 --> 01:29:42,720
Speaker 1: the population, your bank balance becomes what the person with

1767
01:29:42,880 --> 01:29:46,160
Speaker 1: the least amount has in that in the in the world.

1768
01:29:46,840 --> 01:29:49,799
Speaker 1: And I just wonder how we would live. I genuinely

1769
01:29:49,840 --> 01:29:55,439
Speaker 1: would because, yeah, I think sometimes and I understand it.

1770
01:29:55,640 --> 01:29:59,200
Speaker 1: You know, capitalism, hyper capitalism, you know this thing we've

1771
01:29:59,240 --> 01:30:01,560
Speaker 1: been tricked into believing that in order for you to have,

1772
01:30:01,680 --> 01:30:04,120
Speaker 1: I cannot have, as if trading didn't exist long before.

1773
01:30:04,960 --> 01:30:06,560
Speaker 1: All of that has tricked us into a world of

1774
01:30:06,640 --> 01:30:11,080
Speaker 1: believing that mine is only mine and yours cannot come

1775
01:30:11,120 --> 01:30:13,800
Speaker 1: with it. So I wonder what would happen in that space.

1776
01:30:14,160 --> 01:30:17,160
Speaker 1: I think, even myself, everyone would pay a lot more attenion.

1777
01:30:17,360 --> 01:30:18,600
Speaker 1: You know, how much do you have? We need to

1778
01:30:18,640 --> 01:30:21,920
Speaker 1: get your balance up, yeah, because I'm trying to keep

1779
01:30:21,960 --> 01:30:24,240
Speaker 1: my life as comfortable as it is. Yeah, And the

1780
01:30:24,439 --> 01:30:27,400
Speaker 1: feeling that it could be any of us, Yeah, that

1781
01:30:28,000 --> 01:30:29,519
Speaker 1: will take it for granted, Jake, like it could it

1782
01:30:29,560 --> 01:30:33,439
Speaker 1: could always be any of us. Luck is the most random.

1783
01:30:35,160 --> 01:30:36,920
Speaker 1: You can work as hard as you want luck as

1784
01:30:36,920 --> 01:30:38,920
Speaker 1: a huge factor. You can be the best luck as

1785
01:30:38,920 --> 01:30:40,679
Speaker 1: a factor. You can be the worst luck as a factor.

1786
01:30:40,800 --> 01:30:43,400
Speaker 1: So you know, it really could be any one of us.

1787
01:30:43,680 --> 01:30:46,679
Speaker 1: And so I don't take for granted that I'm lucky.

1788
01:30:47,040 --> 01:30:50,680
Speaker 1: I work hard, I try, and you know, I try

1789
01:30:50,680 --> 01:30:53,120
Speaker 1: and shape as much of the environment that my luck

1790
01:30:53,160 --> 01:30:56,439
Speaker 1: will exist within. But I never take for granted that

1791
01:30:56,560 --> 01:30:59,040
Speaker 1: I'm lucky. Travel is a new thing. I learned about

1792
01:30:59,040 --> 01:31:01,120
Speaker 1: you today that you don't just ask good questions, but

1793
01:31:01,240 --> 01:31:06,760
Speaker 1: you really answering questions, and that's where people don't by

1794
01:31:06,760 --> 01:31:11,120
Speaker 1: the way, right, Yeah, thanks, thank you, thank you. True,

1795
01:31:11,320 --> 01:31:13,800
Speaker 1: that's so special. Everyone has been listening or watching wherever

1796
01:31:13,880 --> 01:31:16,720
Speaker 1: you are in the world. I hope you appreciated that

1797
01:31:16,800 --> 01:31:18,559
Speaker 1: conversation as much as I did. I hope you could

1798
01:31:18,600 --> 01:31:20,680
Speaker 1: see that we're genuinely just having a good time and

1799
01:31:20,800 --> 01:31:23,240
Speaker 1: getting to know each other and learning and going back

1800
01:31:23,240 --> 01:31:25,280
Speaker 1: and forth. But I think there were so many great

1801
01:31:25,280 --> 01:31:27,760
Speaker 1: insights in this conversation, and I'd love to see what

1802
01:31:27,880 --> 01:31:31,479
Speaker 1: you took away, So please do share them wherever you're sharing,

1803
01:31:31,520 --> 01:31:34,240
Speaker 1: whether it's Instagram or TikTok, or Twitter or wherever it is.

1804
01:31:34,400 --> 01:31:36,400
Speaker 1: I'd love to hear what you learned, what you took away,

1805
01:31:36,520 --> 01:31:40,080
Speaker 1: what you gathered from this conversation, what you collected, what

1806
01:31:40,200 --> 01:31:42,360
Speaker 1: you questioned, right, I think that's the biggest thing. What

1807
01:31:42,439 --> 01:31:45,040
Speaker 1: did you question? What is a question that you're asking

1808
01:31:45,160 --> 01:31:48,200
Speaker 1: that you never asked before today? And I want to

1809
01:31:48,200 --> 01:31:49,880
Speaker 1: give a big thank you to Trevor for showing up

1810
01:31:49,920 --> 01:31:52,599
Speaker 1: and thank you doing all this time. And I will admit,

1811
01:31:52,680 --> 01:31:54,920
Speaker 1: though I didn't do this just the goodest of my heart.

1812
01:31:55,600 --> 01:31:59,000
Speaker 1: I came because I remember seeing a clip of yours

1813
01:31:59,080 --> 01:32:02,479
Speaker 1: many many, many many years ago, and you talked about

1814
01:32:02,520 --> 01:32:06,680
Speaker 1: how we don't know how to breathe. I remember that.

1815
01:32:06,720 --> 01:32:10,840
Speaker 1: I remember even watching it. I was like sitting at home,

1816
01:32:13,080 --> 01:32:16,080
Speaker 1: like I don't know how to breathe. And since then

1817
01:32:16,120 --> 01:32:17,800
Speaker 1: it's it's stuck with me. I was like, one day,

1818
01:32:17,800 --> 01:32:19,559
Speaker 1: I'm gonna meet this guy and I'm going to ask

1819
01:32:19,640 --> 01:32:21,240
Speaker 1: him to teach me how to breathe. We left to

1820
01:32:21,280 --> 01:32:25,000
Speaker 1: do that, I know. No, Yeah, thank you, thank you, honestly, no,

1821
01:32:25,160 --> 01:32:27,200
Speaker 1: thank you, man. I appreciate you the best. This is awesome.