Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,
Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's
Speaker 1: tip is to offer a fixed set of options to
Speaker 1: guide decisions in a direction that works for you. Today's
Speaker 1: tip comes from author and career coach Melody Wilding. Her
Speaker 1: latest book is Managing Up, How to Get what you
Speaker 1: need from the People in Charge. When Melody was a
Speaker 1: guest on this podcast a few months ago, she offered
Speaker 1: a tip for the boundaries conversation. This is the conversation
Speaker 1: you need to have when you are assigned a new
Speaker 1: project but you are already at capacity. She recommended taking
Speaker 1: what she calls the trade off approach, or offering what
Speaker 1: she says is called forced choice in the research. Here's
Speaker 1: how that works. If your boss assigns you a new
Speaker 1: project when you are scrambling to complete what is already
Speaker 1: on your plate, ask your boss which of your current
Speaker 1: projects she wants you to delay. You are clear about
Speaker 1: the impact of this new project, you can't complete the
Speaker 1: existing projects on schedule, and you position your boss as
Speaker 1: a partner and figuring out how to adjust deadlines in
Speaker 1: alignment with her priorities. You are not assuming the deadlines
Speaker 1: are fixed. Instead, you're assuming your capacity is relatively fixed,
Speaker 1: and you are working with your boss to adjust the
Speaker 1: deadlines as needed. You are giving her a choice about
Speaker 1: how to do this. I love this approach. You're maintaining
Speaker 1: your boundaries and not taking on more than you can
Speaker 1: realistically be expected to do. But you're also not simply
Speaker 1: saying no. You're also not adjusting the deadlines in your
Speaker 1: head and just hoping for the best. You and your
Speaker 1: manager become a team and figuring out what you can
Speaker 1: sustainably do. As I said to Melody when she explained
Speaker 1: the forced choice approach, I can't help but being reminded
Speaker 1: of the parenting strategy of giving toddler's choices. The idea
Speaker 1: is that you give your three year old a set
Speaker 1: of choices, but all the options are acceptable to you.
Speaker 1: Do you want to wear the red pants or the
Speaker 1: blue pants? Would you like oatmeal, an egg or yogurt?
Speaker 1: Do you want to walk to your room or would
Speaker 1: you like me to carry you? While your boss is
Speaker 1: not a toddler, though I realized there might be some similarities,
Speaker 1: the logic is the same in both cases. Some choices
Speaker 1: are not acceptable to you. Your toddler probably can't wear
Speaker 1: her pink shorts in January, even if she really likes them,
Speaker 1: because it is ten degrees outside. You really can't complete
Speaker 1: an infinite amount of work and a limited amount of time,
Speaker 1: So you take those choices off the table. That's not
Speaker 1: being difficult or insubordinate. That's being clear about what is doable. Then,
Speaker 1: from the set of options that are doable, you give
Speaker 1: freedom to your child or invite the leadership of your boss.
Speaker 1: The choice is theirs. You've maintained your boundaries while offering choice,
Speaker 1: and in the professional context, you've also honored your boss's
Speaker 1: leadership and made the most of her big picture view.
Speaker 1: This is a great way to protect your boundaries and
Speaker 1: be seen as a team player. Now, sometimes a toddler
Speaker 1: will just scream about the available options. She really doesn't
Speaker 1: want the red pants or the blue pants, but hopefully
Speaker 1: your boss won't do that. If she does, well, now
Speaker 1: you have a different choice. But that is a top
Speaker 1: for another episode. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks
Speaker 1: for listening, and here's to making the most of our time.
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to before breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas,
Speaker 1: or feedback, you can reach me at Laura at Laura
Speaker 1: vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia.
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