WEBVTT - Red pants or blue pants?

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,

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<v Speaker 1>This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

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<v Speaker 1>tip is to offer a fixed set of options to

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<v Speaker 1>guide decisions in a direction that works for you. Today's

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<v Speaker 1>tip comes from author and career coach Melody Wilding. Her

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<v Speaker 1>latest book is Managing Up, How to Get what you

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<v Speaker 1>need from the People in Charge. When Melody was a

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<v Speaker 1>guest on this podcast a few months ago, she offered

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<v Speaker 1>a tip for the boundaries conversation. This is the conversation

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<v Speaker 1>you need to have when you are assigned a new

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<v Speaker 1>project but you are already at capacity. She recommended taking

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<v Speaker 1>what she calls the trade off approach, or offering what

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<v Speaker 1>she says is called forced choice in the research. Here's

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<v Speaker 1>how that works. If your boss assigns you a new

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<v Speaker 1>project when you are scrambling to complete what is already

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<v Speaker 1>on your plate, ask your boss which of your current

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<v Speaker 1>projects she wants you to delay. You are clear about

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<v Speaker 1>the impact of this new project, you can't complete the

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<v Speaker 1>existing projects on schedule, and you position your boss as

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<v Speaker 1>a partner and figuring out how to adjust deadlines in

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<v Speaker 1>alignment with her priorities. You are not assuming the deadlines

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<v Speaker 1>are fixed. Instead, you're assuming your capacity is relatively fixed,

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<v Speaker 1>and you are working with your boss to adjust the

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<v Speaker 1>deadlines as needed. You are giving her a choice about

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<v Speaker 1>how to do this. I love this approach. You're maintaining

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<v Speaker 1>your boundaries and not taking on more than you can

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<v Speaker 1>realistically be expected to do. But you're also not simply

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<v Speaker 1>saying no. You're also not adjusting the deadlines in your

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<v Speaker 1>head and just hoping for the best. You and your

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<v Speaker 1>manager become a team and figuring out what you can

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<v Speaker 1>sustainably do. As I said to Melody when she explained

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<v Speaker 1>the forced choice approach, I can't help but being reminded

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<v Speaker 1>of the parenting strategy of giving toddler's choices. The idea

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<v Speaker 1>is that you give your three year old a set

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<v Speaker 1>of choices, but all the options are acceptable to you.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you want to wear the red pants or the

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<v Speaker 1>blue pants? Would you like oatmeal, an egg or yogurt?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you want to walk to your room or would

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<v Speaker 1>you like me to carry you? While your boss is

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<v Speaker 1>not a toddler, though I realized there might be some similarities,

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<v Speaker 1>the logic is the same in both cases. Some choices

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<v Speaker 1>are not acceptable to you. Your toddler probably can't wear

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<v Speaker 1>her pink shorts in January, even if she really likes them,

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<v Speaker 1>because it is ten degrees outside. You really can't complete

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<v Speaker 1>an infinite amount of work and a limited amount of time,

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<v Speaker 1>So you take those choices off the table. That's not

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<v Speaker 1>being difficult or insubordinate. That's being clear about what is doable. Then,

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<v Speaker 1>from the set of options that are doable, you give

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<v Speaker 1>freedom to your child or invite the leadership of your boss.

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<v Speaker 1>The choice is theirs. You've maintained your boundaries while offering choice,

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<v Speaker 1>and in the professional context, you've also honored your boss's

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<v Speaker 1>leadership and made the most of her big picture view.

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<v Speaker 1>This is a great way to protect your boundaries and

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<v Speaker 1>be seen as a team player. Now, sometimes a toddler

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<v Speaker 1>will just scream about the available options. She really doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>want the red pants or the blue pants, but hopefully

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<v Speaker 1>your boss won't do that. If she does, well, now

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<v Speaker 1>you have a different choice. But that is a top

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<v Speaker 1>for another episode. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks

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<v Speaker 1>for listening, and here's to making the most of our time.

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks for listening to before breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas,

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<v Speaker 1>or feedback, you can reach me at Laura at Laura

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<v Speaker 1>vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia.

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<v Speaker 1>For more podcasts from iHeartMedia, please visit the iHeartRadio app,

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<v Speaker 1>Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.