1 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:09,320 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning, 2 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:16,360 Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 3 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:19,919 Speaker 1: tip is to offer a fixed set of options to 4 00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:25,920 Speaker 1: guide decisions in a direction that works for you. Today's 5 00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:29,840 Speaker 1: tip comes from author and career coach Melody Wilding. Her 6 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:33,559 Speaker 1: latest book is Managing Up, How to Get what you 7 00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:37,919 Speaker 1: need from the People in Charge. When Melody was a 8 00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:40,680 Speaker 1: guest on this podcast a few months ago, she offered 9 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:45,320 Speaker 1: a tip for the boundaries conversation. This is the conversation 10 00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:47,760 Speaker 1: you need to have when you are assigned a new 11 00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:53,960 Speaker 1: project but you are already at capacity. She recommended taking 12 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:57,720 Speaker 1: what she calls the trade off approach, or offering what 13 00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:02,040 Speaker 1: she says is called forced choice in the research. Here's 14 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:04,840 Speaker 1: how that works. If your boss assigns you a new 15 00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:08,360 Speaker 1: project when you are scrambling to complete what is already 16 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:12,959 Speaker 1: on your plate, ask your boss which of your current 17 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:17,720 Speaker 1: projects she wants you to delay. You are clear about 18 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:20,840 Speaker 1: the impact of this new project, you can't complete the 19 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:24,800 Speaker 1: existing projects on schedule, and you position your boss as 20 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:28,720 Speaker 1: a partner and figuring out how to adjust deadlines in 21 00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:32,560 Speaker 1: alignment with her priorities. You are not assuming the deadlines 22 00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:38,080 Speaker 1: are fixed. Instead, you're assuming your capacity is relatively fixed, 23 00:01:38,959 --> 00:01:41,480 Speaker 1: and you are working with your boss to adjust the 24 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:45,800 Speaker 1: deadlines as needed. You are giving her a choice about 25 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:50,840 Speaker 1: how to do this. I love this approach. You're maintaining 26 00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:53,160 Speaker 1: your boundaries and not taking on more than you can 27 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:57,160 Speaker 1: realistically be expected to do. But you're also not simply 28 00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:00,960 Speaker 1: saying no. You're also not adjusting the deadlines in your 29 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:03,840 Speaker 1: head and just hoping for the best. You and your 30 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:07,080 Speaker 1: manager become a team and figuring out what you can 31 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:12,160 Speaker 1: sustainably do. As I said to Melody when she explained 32 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:15,880 Speaker 1: the forced choice approach, I can't help but being reminded 33 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:20,880 Speaker 1: of the parenting strategy of giving toddler's choices. The idea 34 00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:22,480 Speaker 1: is that you give your three year old a set 35 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:25,400 Speaker 1: of choices, but all the options are acceptable to you. 36 00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:28,080 Speaker 1: Do you want to wear the red pants or the 37 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:32,919 Speaker 1: blue pants? Would you like oatmeal, an egg or yogurt? 38 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:35,640 Speaker 1: Do you want to walk to your room or would 39 00:02:35,639 --> 00:02:39,120 Speaker 1: you like me to carry you? While your boss is 40 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:42,880 Speaker 1: not a toddler, though I realized there might be some similarities, 41 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:47,560 Speaker 1: the logic is the same in both cases. Some choices 42 00:02:47,639 --> 00:02:51,799 Speaker 1: are not acceptable to you. Your toddler probably can't wear 43 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:55,079 Speaker 1: her pink shorts in January, even if she really likes them, 44 00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:59,960 Speaker 1: because it is ten degrees outside. You really can't complete 45 00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:03,160 Speaker 1: an infinite amount of work and a limited amount of time, 46 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:07,600 Speaker 1: So you take those choices off the table. That's not 47 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:15,160 Speaker 1: being difficult or insubordinate. That's being clear about what is doable. Then, 48 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:17,880 Speaker 1: from the set of options that are doable, you give 49 00:03:17,919 --> 00:03:21,160 Speaker 1: freedom to your child or invite the leadership of your boss. 50 00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:27,680 Speaker 1: The choice is theirs. You've maintained your boundaries while offering choice, 51 00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:31,080 Speaker 1: and in the professional context, you've also honored your boss's 52 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:34,560 Speaker 1: leadership and made the most of her big picture view. 53 00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:38,720 Speaker 1: This is a great way to protect your boundaries and 54 00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:43,400 Speaker 1: be seen as a team player. Now, sometimes a toddler 55 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:48,080 Speaker 1: will just scream about the available options. She really doesn't 56 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:52,760 Speaker 1: want the red pants or the blue pants, but hopefully 57 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:56,880 Speaker 1: your boss won't do that. If she does, well, now 58 00:03:56,880 --> 00:03:59,920 Speaker 1: you have a different choice. But that is a top 59 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:05,880 Speaker 1: for another episode. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks 60 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:10,240 Speaker 1: for listening, and here's to making the most of our time. 61 00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:21,000 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to before breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas, 62 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:24,640 Speaker 1: or feedback, you can reach me at Laura at Laura 63 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:34,039 Speaker 1: vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia. 64 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:38,680 Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeartMedia, please visit the iHeartRadio app, 65 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:42,200 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.