Speaker 1: Pushkin. When I was ten years old, I took part
Speaker 1: in the New Bedford High School Drama Club's production of
Speaker 1: Peter Pan the Musical. I was obsessed with Peter Pan,
Speaker 1: the boy who never grows old, the boy who got
Speaker 1: to enjoy the fun and games of childhood forever. Now
Speaker 1: that I'm in my forties, watching old videos of me
Speaker 1: belting out songs from that musical is kind of sobering.
Speaker 1: My ten year old self believed that she'd follow Peter
Speaker 1: Pan's wise example and never lose the playfulness of you.
Speaker 1: But for the last few years, I was allowing the
Speaker 1: stresses of adulthood to prevent me from having fun. So
Speaker 1: I decided to take on a very personal question. I
Speaker 1: spent a few episodes of this podcast trying to inject
Speaker 1: a bit more fun back into my adult life. I
Speaker 1: did things that pushed me outside my comfort zone, like
Speaker 1: taking a surfing lesson, and things that were just mindless fun.
Speaker 1: I just want to be with you, like singing karaoke.
Speaker 1: I guess you never felt that way. I carried out
Speaker 1: a fun audit, looking at the kinds of things I
Speaker 1: like doing and asking myself exactly why I enjoy those
Speaker 1: yeah turns? Out. I get a kick out of doing
Speaker 1: absurd stuff with big groups of friends. My fun factors
Speaker 1: also include dressing up and goofing around, hence my love
Speaker 1: of Halloween parties and eighty singalongs. What w And? After
Speaker 1: those two episodes, I've tried to prioritize having more fun.
Speaker 1: I started to regularly stage little fun interventions, or fun
Speaker 1: preventions as I call them. I plan little trips, play
Speaker 1: silly games, and generally look for odd but enjoyable adventures
Speaker 1: to have with the people I care about. I search
Speaker 1: for things that are social, things that make me forget
Speaker 1: my worries, that make time fly by, and often playing
Speaker 1: silly games winds up being the easiest option. They swim
Speaker 1: in a whale, you know a fish Yep. This is
Speaker 1: heads Up. It's a guessing game where you place your
Speaker 1: phone against your forehead with the screen facing your friends.
Speaker 1: They then give you clues so that you can guess
Speaker 1: the name of the animal, object, or person that's shown
Speaker 1: on the screen. Australia Koala, Yeah, but today I'm all
Speaker 1: playing Heads Up with my friends. Has a pouch for you?
Speaker 1: I'm in a recording studio in Franklin, Massachusetts, sitting across
Speaker 1: from three people I barely know who have taken the
Speaker 1: message of Funterventions to heart. One Horn Rhino, Natalie Robinson,
Speaker 1: Lisa Whalen, and Jen Moran are all members of a
Speaker 1: running club for women that became so much more than that.
Speaker 2: We are bound by running, and then we became friends.
Speaker 2: This is Natalie, and we have gone through, like I
Speaker 2: feel like every life thing. We've had parents die, we've
Speaker 2: had divorce, we've had engagements, and different than other friendships
Speaker 2: we all have in town, we're not connected from neighborhoods
Speaker 2: or kids, sports or school, but it's truly just this
Speaker 2: great group of people that came together starting by running,
Speaker 2: and then it just grew and grew and grew.
Speaker 1: And part of that growth involved Natalie's love of a
Speaker 1: certain podcast. Yep. Natalie is a Happiness Lab fan. She
Speaker 1: loves all our episodes, but my two shows about losing
Speaker 1: touch with fun really hit home.
Speaker 2: I remember in your podcast you were saying, like, I'm
Speaker 2: a fun person, but I don't really have that much fun.
Speaker 1: And I sit on the.
Speaker 2: Couch and I watch TV, and yeah, that's relaxing, but
Speaker 2: it's not really fun. And I found like when the
Speaker 2: kids were little, it was so easy to have fun,
Speaker 2: like you take them to the zoo, you take them
Speaker 2: to the water park, and then when they get older,
Speaker 2: there's less things to do as adults that are that
Speaker 2: pure fun. And so when we heard your podcast, we
Speaker 2: were like, yeah, are we fun? Like do we even
Speaker 2: have fun anymore?
Speaker 1: Like? Let's have more fun. And so the members of
Speaker 1: the running club threw themselves into staging regular and often
Speaker 1: quite elaborate funterventions. In fact, these ladies were so inventive,
Speaker 1: so organized, and so disciplined about adding fun to their lives.
Speaker 1: I had to share their story with you, and I
Speaker 1: started by asking Jen Moran how fun and especially fun
Speaker 1: with friends had been squeezed out of their busy lives.
Speaker 3: We are balancing so much when you have a young family,
Speaker 3: and a lot of us were working as well, and
Speaker 3: we were getting up at five ten in the morning
Speaker 3: because we wanted to get a run in, and then
Speaker 3: not everybody could run, and so we were trying to
Speaker 3: catch up with each other kind of almost in between,
Speaker 3: we would joke around that we needed minutes from each
Speaker 3: of the run so that we could send it around
Speaker 3: so we could all stay in touch with what was
Speaker 3: going on because everyone was just so busy with their lives,
Speaker 3: and I think friendship was so important to all of us,
Speaker 3: but prioritizing and making the time to focus on that
Speaker 3: is just as important. And that's I feel like what
Speaker 3: we've started to intentionally do.
Speaker 1: Now, let's talk about the beginning of the club, because
Speaker 1: there was you know, your busy moms and things like that.
Speaker 1: How did the running club get started? Nata? So it
Speaker 1: actually started.
Speaker 2: One of our friends started a like a town running
Speaker 2: club different than the people that we run with now somehow,
Speaker 2: so that sort of fizzled, but a group of those
Speaker 2: people kept running together, and then it would be like
Speaker 2: my daughter was in elementary school and I was chatting
Speaker 2: with someone and she was like, wait, you run, Yeah,
Speaker 2: we run, all of us run. Come meet us for
Speaker 2: a run. And it used to be like people were nervous.
Speaker 2: I remember one of our friends in the group was like,
Speaker 2: I was so nervous the first time I ran with
Speaker 2: you guys, And like I'm the Midwest person who's always
Speaker 2: like where are you from?
Speaker 1: Like what do you do?
Speaker 2: Blah blah blah, Like I always kind of chat and
Speaker 2: make the newbie feel welcome, and then they would bring
Speaker 2: people I don't know, we just sort.
Speaker 1: Of word of mouth.
Speaker 3: We found out other people also ran, and we would
Speaker 3: say meet us. So we just send out a group
Speaker 3: email or text saying this time, this place, whoever can
Speaker 3: go goes. And there would be times when there'd be
Speaker 3: ten of us running, but then there'd be times when
Speaker 3: there would be three or four. But everyone knew that
Speaker 3: there was always going to be a run on the
Speaker 3: weekend or in the morning, and you could just join in.
Speaker 2: And now it's funny because in the beginning we used
Speaker 2: to run a lot like we would do like a
Speaker 2: ten mile run, and sometimes there would only be one
Speaker 2: other person on this ten mile run, and in your
Speaker 2: head the night before, you're thinking, what am I going
Speaker 2: to talk to her about? For ten miles? I don't
Speaker 2: have that much to say, and almost a nervousness. And
Speaker 2: now you would never be nervous to be with one
Speaker 2: on one with anybody in the group like we are
Speaker 2: just so like all very connected and a lot of
Speaker 2: our fun in the beginning because we were busy and
Speaker 2: it was a big deal to like escape for the
Speaker 2: day your responsibilities as a mom, Like we would do
Speaker 2: the Harpoon five miler and we would do road races
Speaker 2: and then we would go out for drinks or lunch
Speaker 2: or something after and be like together for the day.
Speaker 1: That was really like our beginnings of fun the story
Speaker 1: because it seems like there is some worry about, like
Speaker 1: will this actually be really enjoyable? I don't really know
Speaker 1: this person. But that's really what the science shows about
Speaker 1: the power of social connection, right, is that like, it's
Speaker 1: going to be more enjoyable than you think it's going
Speaker 1: to be.
Speaker 4: Well, that's actually one of the surprising things about the
Speaker 4: funder vention.
Speaker 1: For me.
Speaker 4: It's not so much the activity, but sometimes we'll throw
Speaker 4: a date out and how we started it was if
Speaker 4: you're the person doing the fund prevention, you say, it's
Speaker 4: going to be this date. This is what we're doing,
Speaker 4: and maybe everybody can come, maybe only two people can come.
Speaker 4: And what I love is I'll be out at a
Speaker 4: funtervention and it'll be with two people in the group
Speaker 4: that I wouldn't normally spend the day with, and you
Speaker 4: get to know them so much better and you realize
Speaker 4: that different combinations really get along great and have so
Speaker 4: much fun, and so it's very different experience and when
Speaker 4: the whole group is there.
Speaker 1: So that was surprising to me and just for some facts.
Speaker 1: So how big is the running group now? Like? How
Speaker 1: many people?
Speaker 3: So there's thirteen of us now we started as fifteen
Speaker 3: two moved away, so there's thirteen of us that are
Speaker 3: on this running group text where we talk about just
Speaker 3: about every everything but also run and walk and plan
Speaker 3: activities and now we do Yeah.
Speaker 2: The funny and the running group is the fundarevention group,
Speaker 2: Like it's the whole running group. And I think we're
Speaker 2: always like if we're telling stories to our family or
Speaker 2: other friends, we're always like, oh, my running group, my
Speaker 2: running group, my running friends.
Speaker 1: Who it is even only half of us from that? Yeah,
Speaker 1: exactly exactly. And so how did so I'm curious, like
Speaker 1: who the person was in the running group that first
Speaker 1: mentioned my podcast or get into the podcast now everybody's
Speaker 1: pointing it out. Yeah, and so how did you find
Speaker 1: out about the show?
Speaker 2: I saw you on the Today Show and I was
Speaker 2: slightly obsessed, and I just like, I I love being
Speaker 2: a lot of us do like want to be our
Speaker 2: best self basically and always looking for self improvement, Like
Speaker 2: we all sort of have our roles in the running
Speaker 2: group and also in the fun direventions and I'm always
Speaker 2: sending people podcasts like something that sparks my interest that
Speaker 2: I think people will like, and yours.
Speaker 1: Was often one that I said.
Speaker 2: But the Fun Dirrevention one, I was like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 2: we need to do that, Like, we need to do this.
Speaker 1: This is awesome. You spoke at the PC graduation and
Speaker 1: she even to you, you broke in with you. So
Speaker 1: I'm curious what you what you remember from the front
Speaker 1: Divention episode, like what was so compelling about it when
Speaker 1: you first heard it?
Speaker 3: What I loved was when you said, so many times
Speaker 3: people say, oh that was so fun, but was it
Speaker 3: really fun?
Speaker 1: And what does fun mean to you?
Speaker 3: And going through that fun audit of like think of
Speaker 3: the times that you were having the most fun and
Speaker 3: what were you doing, who were you with, where were
Speaker 3: you and you can start to see the things that
Speaker 3: really are fun to you. And we kind of hook
Speaker 3: that and ran with it with this Fun Prevention, because,
Speaker 3: as Lisa said, everybody gets a chance to pick something
Speaker 3: and it's what's fun to them that they either want
Speaker 3: to do because they've never done before, or they want
Speaker 3: to share with others something they have done. And so
Speaker 3: I think that and then I just loved because I
Speaker 3: loved being goofy and having fun. I loved when you're
Speaker 3: talking about the surfing and I could just picture it.
Speaker 1: And then we did crosscually do the surfing, but we
Speaker 1: just got the.
Speaker 3: Weather right well, and I don't think everybody.
Speaker 1: Was up for Yeah, that was a little dangerous, I think,
Speaker 1: but when we did dangerous, it was just a silly
Speaker 1: podcast done even for me.
Speaker 3: I did do cross country skiing and Natalie and I
Speaker 3: laughed the whole time because we were always falling down
Speaker 3: and people are trying to help us and we didn't care.
Speaker 3: And it was That's kind of resonated with me when
Speaker 3: you said that about just being goofy and not caring
Speaker 3: if you fail, just getting out there and doing it.
Speaker 1: Any other parts that resonated, or the other thing that.
Speaker 2: When I listened to it, I thought about the world
Speaker 2: isn't a really exciting place, and there's so much any
Speaker 2: fun things to do, and you get caught in your
Speaker 2: normal and your routine. And I think, you know, if
Speaker 2: you think about thirteen people with families and busy schedules,
Speaker 2: like we would say we should go celebrate you know,
Speaker 2: Jen's birthday or something, or we should do something, and
Speaker 2: it's like everyone's competing schedules that you could ever find
Speaker 2: a date that would work for everybody, and.
Speaker 1: Then we would move it out and move it out.
Speaker 2: And I was like, we should just like pick a
Speaker 2: month and just you do what works for you and
Speaker 2: set something up that you think seems fun and don't
Speaker 2: don't clear it with anybody, don't see who can just
Speaker 2: be Like people aren't really ever selfish, like be do
Speaker 2: something that's completely you've been wanting to try that works
Speaker 2: for your schedule.
Speaker 1: Whoever can come, can come.
Speaker 2: I also really liked in the podcast talking about like
Speaker 2: losing track of time and flow, like that's how I
Speaker 2: feel when I cooked, and I love cooking, So I
Speaker 2: love that feeling.
Speaker 1: And I also liked the idea of like connection.
Speaker 2: And I think almost anything, even if it's not really
Speaker 2: like fun, can be fun if you're with the right people.
Speaker 1: Totally, totally.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the playfulness, connection, flow combination I think is very unique.
Speaker 1: It's hard to get, but to get all them, yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: it really is.
Speaker 3: I also liked what you said in one of the
Speaker 3: interviews in the podcast about little delights, and so I
Speaker 3: actually started a notebook of little delights, but I love
Speaker 3: that idea that like even just simple things that happen
Speaker 3: or you see that you can say, wow, how amazing
Speaker 3: is that and just take a minute to think about
Speaker 3: it and record it.
Speaker 1: And you mentioned doing the fun audit. Is that something
Speaker 1: you all did with the group or that you did.
Speaker 2: So it tried to do it and then I gave up.
Speaker 2: I think like it's hard.
Speaker 1: It's hard. Sometimes it's hard to really remember the kinds
Speaker 1: of things that you know you enjoyed and you had
Speaker 1: fun doing. I've talked to other people who've done the
Speaker 1: fun audits and they say, it's just kind of embarrassing
Speaker 1: because the things I'm talking about were like when I
Speaker 1: was twenty two, and you know, you're in midlife now,
Speaker 1: and so it feels embarrassing to feel like you didn't
Speaker 1: do that many fun things for a while. But I'm
Speaker 1: curious what was on your fun auditgen.
Speaker 3: My fun audit, my fun factors were activities, some type
Speaker 3: of laughing, goofy with friends games. So from my fun prevention,
Speaker 3: I picked a scavenger hunt, which has all those elements,
Speaker 3: And I think I like those types of things where
Speaker 3: you just can have fun and be goofy. But it's
Speaker 3: activity based too, and there's some you know thinking and
Speaker 3: strategy and.
Speaker 1: It was a game. Yeah, that was a really fun one.
Speaker 1: It was good. And so Lisa, what were the rules
Speaker 1: of the fun prevention? Because it kind of had some
Speaker 1: structure too, right, it did a little bit.
Speaker 4: I think at first we all kind of freaked out
Speaker 4: and thought we had to have these really cool, you know,
Speaker 4: complex things, and then we kind of settled into no,
Speaker 4: it's just something you really just wanted to do and
Speaker 4: haven't done it. And then you found out that someone
Speaker 4: else was like, oh my gosh, I always wanted to do.
Speaker 1: That fits your months.
Speaker 4: You pick the activity and you pick the date that
Speaker 4: works for you, and some months everybody can do it.
Speaker 4: Some months, three or four people can do it. And
Speaker 4: you know, initially, of course we all start to feel
Speaker 4: bad and well, maybe next Saturdays better, and we have
Speaker 4: to stop ourselves because we made these rules at the beginning.
Speaker 4: And then really, it could be anything We've gone to
Speaker 4: Block Island because someone it's one of their happy places
Speaker 4: and they wanted everybody else to experience that, or walks
Speaker 4: along the beach and then beer at Cisco Brewery and
Speaker 4: New Bedford.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so let's walk through the arranging. Yeah, let's walk
Speaker 1: through some of the favorites of it. Yeah, okay.
Speaker 3: So some of the unique ones we did was we
Speaker 3: did a salt cave.
Speaker 1: Salt cave sounds amazing. Why is a salt cave?
Speaker 4: Though, I think it's kind of a new concept. It's
Speaker 4: a room that is covered with salt. It's low lit,
Speaker 4: and it's requiet and it's meditative.
Speaker 1: We did do that, and there's a lot of giggling.
Speaker 4: We've gotten kicked out of a lot of spats because
Speaker 4: it's supposed to be the quiet room and we're talking
Speaker 4: and giggling.
Speaker 3: We also did wreaths around the holidays, and that was
Speaker 3: another fun. It was fun to line them all up
Speaker 3: and take pictures. We did floral arranging. There's a lot
Speaker 3: more to it than I think we realized, which was
Speaker 3: very fun.
Speaker 1: Were people good at it or was that something you
Speaker 1: had to engage some self compassion for.
Speaker 3: What was interesting is even though we were all told
Speaker 3: what to do, everybody's came out different and the different.
Speaker 1: So what was the first fun prevention the first one
Speaker 1: that you all went on together, Natalie.
Speaker 2: I think it was ver Nice's actually, So we did
Speaker 2: a friend had a house in the cape in Falmouth
Speaker 2: and had enough bikes for all of us where people
Speaker 2: brought bikes and we just took a simple bike ride
Speaker 2: along her favorite path, went out for lunch and drinks after,
Speaker 2: and then biked back.
Speaker 1: And what was the reaction that, like how many people
Speaker 1: did it? Kind of at first like six to eight
Speaker 1: maybe six A good.
Speaker 2: I feel like that one too, was like before it
Speaker 2: was really official, if that makes any sense, Like she
Speaker 2: sort of got it going. It was sort of like
Speaker 2: like a little more loose before we really like assigned months.
Speaker 2: So the first one with like the assigned months was
Speaker 2: the Salt Cave, and that I want to say it
Speaker 2: was almost all of us and it was in Situate
Speaker 2: and it was a friend's.
Speaker 1: Relative.
Speaker 2: Our friend owned it, and so she wanted to give
Speaker 2: her some exposure and bring this group group to the
Speaker 2: Salt Cave. And it was just very relaxing, something that
Speaker 2: no one had done, and really we all enjoyed it.
Speaker 2: And then I guess it's going to keep coming back.
Speaker 2: Like everything we do, we end up then going out
Speaker 2: after like for food or drink or something. So then
Speaker 2: we did the Salt Cave and then we had brunch
Speaker 2: at a really nice restaurant, And.
Speaker 1: Have you tried to incorporate this idea of like playful flow.
Speaker 1: I know you get the connection a lot because you're
Speaker 1: all together, but I.
Speaker 3: Think some activities are more playful than others. But I
Speaker 3: think the connection the flow because we always find new
Speaker 3: things to talk about or there's something that someone's going
Speaker 3: through that they want to share. And we're also I
Speaker 3: think all like fun and like to be goofy and
Speaker 3: just enjoy each other.
Speaker 2: Scavenger Hunt was definitely a lot of playfulness, like because
Speaker 2: we engaged with the public, like we had to, like
Speaker 2: I remember like one of them was like clucking around
Speaker 2: a crad, like pretending you're a duck and you have
Speaker 2: to cluck around people. Or we had to get people
Speaker 2: to do a congo line with us, and we did
Speaker 2: it and we have like videos and pictures to prove it.
Speaker 1: Like that was the most playful, and it was competitive
Speaker 1: because we're two teams, we are very one, which we did.
Speaker 1: Being playful and finding flow are two key components and
Speaker 1: selecting a good fund prevention activity. But often when we
Speaker 1: think about what might be fun, were tempted to return
Speaker 1: to familiar pleasures. Hobbies are sports that we've long mastered.
Speaker 1: But when I first embarked on my own fender vention,
Speaker 1: I picked a new activity that I was bound to
Speaker 1: suck at and one that took me to a location
Speaker 1: where I felt very much out of place, the beach.
Speaker 1: I went surfing. I'm also very happy it doesn't seem
Speaker 1: like me have this one very far out because the
Speaker 1: waves were out there and they're like move drown it. It
Speaker 1: feels like I could walk round. After the break, I'll
Speaker 1: talk to Natalie, Lisa and Jen about the fun that
Speaker 1: you can have by pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.
Speaker 1: The three friends will also share their top tips for
Speaker 1: making fun a regular part of your routine. The Happiness
Speaker 1: Lab will be right back a few years ago. If
Speaker 1: someone had asked me what I did for fun, I'd
Speaker 1: probably have struggled to come up with a good answer.
Speaker 1: After a moment, I might say something like, uh, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I guess I just watch Netflix.
Speaker 4: Now.
Speaker 1: There's nothing wrong with curlling up on the sofa to
Speaker 1: binge your favorite series. It's familiar and comfortable, but research
Speaker 1: shows there's real value in being adventurous and pushing the
Speaker 1: boundaries of what you're willing to do in pursuit of fun.
Speaker 1: I took a surfing lesson with friends and was fully
Speaker 1: expecting it to be miserable. But despite all my fears
Speaker 1: of drowning, shark attacks and looking dumb, I had an
Speaker 1: absolute blast. Was the best thing I've ever done that
Speaker 1: was super fun. I was really scared when I was.
Speaker 1: When the members of a Massachusetts running club began injecting
Speaker 1: more fun into their lives, they too decided to try
Speaker 1: some pretty unlikely activities, including picking up lethal weapons.
Speaker 4: So the one that I think we had no idea
Speaker 4: how hard it was going to be was when we
Speaker 4: went and learned to shoot crossbows.
Speaker 1: None of us had ever done it.
Speaker 4: It was so out of all of our element but
Speaker 4: we all were terrible and we laughed, and the guys
Speaker 4: that taught us didn't know what to make of us
Speaker 4: at the beginning, and then at the end we were
Speaker 4: all laughing and like great friends and enjoyed it. And
Speaker 4: I did not hit the bulls eye once or even
Speaker 4: the target.
Speaker 1: The picture and the dots were all over. They were
Speaker 1: very worried about our safety the whole time. So, Natalie,
Speaker 1: you mentioned another one that pushed your boundaries. So we
Speaker 1: had one.
Speaker 2: It was like a pilates kind of gym class and
Speaker 2: everybody was like, I'm scared, but I'll do it. Like
Speaker 2: all of us were like, I'm scared. I'm not going
Speaker 2: to be very good at this. So that was one
Speaker 2: that was completely like pushed us out of our comfort
Speaker 2: zone and it was fun and it was Some of
Speaker 2: us weren't as sore the next day as we thought
Speaker 2: we would be, so we are convinced we didn't do
Speaker 2: it right, not that we are like in great shape.
Speaker 2: And then cross country skiing, like Jen said, was another
Speaker 2: one where that was mine and I was I've always
Speaker 2: wanted to try it, and when we planned it, all
Speaker 2: the lessons were full, so we just had to wing
Speaker 2: it and we didn't know what we were doing. Some
Speaker 2: people did, Jen and I did not, and but it
Speaker 2: was fun, you know, it was just playful, silly falling,
Speaker 2: and it made for me. It made me want to
Speaker 2: go back and actually take a lesson so that I
Speaker 2: could really learn how to do it and maybe do
Speaker 2: it more.
Speaker 1: I love this. I do that. There are activities that
Speaker 1: people thought I'm going to hate this, I don't want
Speaker 1: to do it, but I'll go anyway, you know, there's
Speaker 1: this kind of help that the group gives you to
Speaker 1: give you a little bit more confidence or maybe I'll
Speaker 1: try it, you know, because everyone else is doing it.
Speaker 1: I mean, what is that done for your confidence levels?
Speaker 1: I imagine that trying these things out when you thought, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm going to just be terrible at this, I'm going
Speaker 1: to suck, and then it was okay, Like that does
Speaker 1: that help you do new things in the future. I
Speaker 1: think it does.
Speaker 3: I feel like we no one's judging anyone. We all
Speaker 3: just want to experience it together, and some of us
Speaker 3: will be better than others. There are definitely some more
Speaker 3: natural athletes than others in the group, but no one
Speaker 3: feels embarrassed or feels bad if they're not good. We
Speaker 3: just laugh and just enjoy the experience together. And so
Speaker 3: I think that give you the confidence to say yes
Speaker 3: when someone brings up another idea that maybe goat yoga
Speaker 3: was the other one that just came up recently that
Speaker 3: hasn't been scheduled yet, but some people are like, oh,
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: But I'll do it, okay.
Speaker 2: I think some of it too, is no one wants
Speaker 2: to miss it, even if you're not interested in the event.
Speaker 2: But you're free, you'll go because you want to be
Speaker 2: with everybody.
Speaker 1: And I think that's the kind of thing where it
Speaker 1: can that benefit of social connection can really push you
Speaker 1: to take part in these activities that you might not
Speaker 1: have gone to, but itevably are going to be more
Speaker 1: fun than you think. I think this is a big
Speaker 1: problem with the mind as that we assume, oh, that'll
Speaker 1: feel like too much work, or I won't enjoy that,
Speaker 1: or I won't be good at that, and that can
Speaker 1: cause us not to go. But when you have the
Speaker 1: kind of camaraderie, maybe slash pressure of the group, like
Speaker 1: you kind of have to go to these things.
Speaker 4: Exactly, and some of us are just better at finding
Speaker 4: these events and our better planners, and others of us
Speaker 4: like myself are just always have my hands up, yep,
Speaker 4: I'll do it, Yep, I'll do it, or followers. So
Speaker 4: for me it's great because I don't I don't innately
Speaker 4: find these activities like you guys are so good at that,
Speaker 4: but I will definitely always join in.
Speaker 3: And we've done more than even just activities. We've gone
Speaker 3: to plays together. We have a book club that the
Speaker 3: running group is does every month, so we also like
Speaker 3: to listen to podcasts.
Speaker 1: And so why did you need the Fun Prevention Group
Speaker 1: if you already were doing these things that were really
Speaker 1: pleasurable and fun.
Speaker 3: Jen, I think we wanted to be organized about it
Speaker 3: and make sure that each month we.
Speaker 1: Could have a fun activity to do together.
Speaker 3: So it was really putting a little bit more structure
Speaker 3: around this connection of women and creating opportunities to do
Speaker 3: fun things together.
Speaker 1: And you might think that that structure makes it, you know,
Speaker 1: more rigid, maybe less fun, but talk about why the
Speaker 1: structure was really essential for everyone to get together. I
Speaker 1: just think the structure.
Speaker 4: The structure was essential because so easy for the month
Speaker 4: to get away from you, and we have really carved
Speaker 4: out the time and and like you said, even if
Speaker 4: it's something you're not that interested in doing, it's like
Speaker 4: I am not missing out. All my friends are going
Speaker 4: to be together, and I'll move heaven and Earth in
Speaker 4: my schedule to make sure that I can be there.
Speaker 4: And I have never regretted doing that in order to
Speaker 4: be at one of them or to be with these guys.
Speaker 4: So it's definitely worth it.
Speaker 3: And I think that what we try to do is
Speaker 3: schedule it almost a month or two out so that
Speaker 3: people can save the date. I think what becomes hard
Speaker 3: just in life generally, is everybody has a lot of commitments.
Speaker 3: We all have families and friends, and so by having
Speaker 3: it be structured with save the dates, people market and
Speaker 3: it's that day is our Funterrevention day, and more people
Speaker 3: can go that way.
Speaker 1: It also seems like it's a pretty forgiving process, right,
Speaker 1: Like I imagine if you had somebody in the Fundervention
Speaker 1: group that just for whatever reason couldn't come for a bunch,
Speaker 1: they don't get like kicked out of the funder vention
Speaker 1: in that ever, So I want to talk about some
Speaker 1: of the benefits that you all got out of this
Speaker 1: funtervention process. I'm curious if there was some extra social
Speaker 1: benefit that you got out of doing the funterventions together.
Speaker 2: There's a beauty when you're in small groups. Sometimes like
Speaker 2: we're this big group and that big group is awesome,
Speaker 2: but there's certain times we have three tables and you're
Speaker 2: maybe only at a table with four and it might
Speaker 2: not be the person that you're usually with. It just
Speaker 2: gives you a chance to connect a little bit more,
Speaker 2: a little bit deeper with somebody in the group.
Speaker 1: And so talk about the playful part of the Funder
Speaker 1: ventions because so many of the activities you took part in,
Speaker 1: whether it's the scavenger hunt or you know, kind of
Speaker 1: like the flower arranging, which is you know, maybe you're
Speaker 1: supposed to be serious, but it sounds like you all
Speaker 1: had fun like that. Playfulness seems to be a big
Speaker 1: part of it. Was that playfulness something that you were
Speaker 1: getting a lot of in your regular life or is
Speaker 1: it something that you really got out of the fundrevention.
Speaker 4: Maybe, Lisa, I would say the playfulness I got out
Speaker 4: of the Funder vention because you don't in your regular life,
Speaker 4: you know, you just try. I'd always be doing the
Speaker 4: right thing, making the right decisions. But when we were
Speaker 4: doing like say the flower arranging, we were like stealing
Speaker 4: flowers out of other people's arrangements because theirs looked better
Speaker 4: and I didn't have as many, and laughing about it.
Speaker 4: So I definitely think it's it's helped me be more
Speaker 4: silly and stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Natalie, well, we did one.
Speaker 2: Of the most fun I thought one of the most
Speaker 2: fun ones was a cooking class with a chef in Boston.
Speaker 2: It was like we made food together, but there were
Speaker 2: other people at the event. It was not a private event,
Speaker 2: and I'm sure for those other people they were like, Wow,
Speaker 2: these people like because we are fun and we're laughing
Speaker 2: and we're goofing with each other and we're silly and
Speaker 2: we're goofing with the chef, and I just kind of
Speaker 2: you feel for the other people in the group.
Speaker 1: But there is definitely like a silliness to our group.
Speaker 2: I think in like that fun audit of the podcast,
Speaker 2: when you think about it and you really think about
Speaker 2: in your adult life in Franklin, the most fun you've
Speaker 2: had and the things that you've had fun at, it's
Speaker 2: usually these people in this group are present, maybe with
Speaker 2: their husbands as well, maybe just them, but they're a
Speaker 2: big component in our fun.
Speaker 3: I also think there's a playfulness in the activity activity,
Speaker 3: even if it's not really a playful activity. So, as
Speaker 3: Lisa was saying with the flower ranging, I remember my
Speaker 3: friend Carrie's flowers. She was moving them around so much
Speaker 3: that they started to like literally disintegrate, and we were
Speaker 3: making fun of her because these beautiful flowers are falling apart,
Speaker 3: and hers is wilting and ours there's all looking great.
Speaker 3: And so you can just make any activity really playful
Speaker 3: and I think that that's what we found with a
Speaker 3: lot of the things that we do, we just start
Speaker 3: laughing about whether it's in the salt cave or bike
Speaker 3: riding or cross country skiing, when we're all falling down.
Speaker 1: You can make it fun. And I'm curious if that
Speaker 1: fund really helps you get through the other more difficult times.
Speaker 1: You know, you talked about how this group has been
Speaker 1: around through all kinds of big life changes and stresses.
Speaker 1: Any good examples of how the fun got you through
Speaker 1: a tough time.
Speaker 3: I think there's a bonding that by participating in so
Speaker 3: many different types of activities and really putting yourself out
Speaker 3: there with a group of people. I think we put
Speaker 3: ourselves out there even when we have hard times, and
Speaker 3: we rally around each other. And there have been a
Speaker 3: lot of instances where people have needed support and we
Speaker 3: also are the first to kind of come together and
Speaker 3: say what can we do for that person. One of
Speaker 3: our friends had, you know, a foot surgery, and we
Speaker 3: were like, what can we do to help her? Even
Speaker 3: if it's just sitting and watching TV with her or
Speaker 3: bringing her food. We've all had family things that have happened,
Speaker 3: and no one's trying to pretend their life is something
Speaker 3: that it's not. We're very honest about what's going on
Speaker 3: and asking for advice and getting support.
Speaker 2: And I think even like one of the people in
Speaker 2: our group one time we were walking and running and
Speaker 2: she was like, I feel this group is the happiest
Speaker 2: group of people I know in this town, and we're
Speaker 2: very real. And some people would say, when you're running,
Speaker 2: you can't really lie. I don't know, it's like a saying,
Speaker 2: but it's hard to not tell the truth when you're running.
Speaker 2: Kind of the truth comes out, but it's no like
Speaker 2: keeping up with the Jones'. No, like people say, oh
Speaker 2: my son did this, my daughter did that, my husband
Speaker 2: did that. Like no one's pretending that their life is
Speaker 2: anything other than what it really is. And I think we,
Speaker 2: like Jen just said, we come together, Like Jen is
Speaker 2: more like the Sunshine Committee person, and I feel like
Speaker 2: I'm more the doom and Gloom committee. Like when someone's like,
Speaker 2: we had a friend whose mom died and I just
Speaker 2: remember being at the service and looking at the pew
Speaker 2: and it was like ten running people. It was just
Speaker 2: a really solid supporting show of love and we're there
Speaker 2: for everybody.
Speaker 1: But I think that's a beautiful part, right, is that
Speaker 1: if you're engaging in social connection during the FUNTERVENTIONCE, that's
Speaker 1: fun and you're getting social connection, but that connection is
Speaker 1: real connection, right. Those are the people that are going
Speaker 1: to show up when you're in a moment of grief
Speaker 1: or when you're struggling and you need someone to help you,
Speaker 1: when you break your foot and so on. So it's
Speaker 1: not just kind of like, oh connection, you know, this
Speaker 1: fleeting thing you know while you're flower arranging, it becomes
Speaker 1: the kind of thing that forms these really deep, real
Speaker 1: friendships over time.
Speaker 4: Oh, people wait to come to the group and they'll
Speaker 4: have an issue if it's one of the keys, you know,
Speaker 4: because we're our kids are sort of we hit every age,
Speaker 4: every grade, and you know, you'll come and you'll be like, okay,
Speaker 4: so this is what's going on. And then people with
Speaker 4: older kids will be like, the same thing happened, this
Speaker 4: is what we did. This is all broad is closer,
Speaker 4: and the connectivity is like a couple of us have
Speaker 4: run a marathon, and when you're training for a marathon,
Speaker 4: we'll wait at different points and I'll run five with you,
Speaker 4: I'll run the next eight with you, and we like
Speaker 4: tap o and we each do. Like when that person
Speaker 4: has to do a thirteen mile run, they don't do
Speaker 4: a mile of it alone. I can't do a marathon,
Speaker 4: but I can do five or six miles. So we
Speaker 4: all do that, and that just is our friendship, I think,
Speaker 4: in our group. So when we decided to have fun together,
Speaker 4: everybody sort of I'm.
Speaker 1: In, I'm in.
Speaker 3: I wanted to add to what Natalie said at the
Speaker 3: funeral that she was referring to that was such a
Speaker 3: powerful moment when I just felt when I looked across
Speaker 3: and saw a whole pew of all of us there
Speaker 3: for our friend when our mom passed. It was just
Speaker 3: a moment where like it just hits you of how
Speaker 3: important that friendship is, you know. And I think that
Speaker 3: meant a lot to her to look out and see
Speaker 3: all of us across a pew like that.
Speaker 1: And so it has all these benefits, but it can
Speaker 1: be hard to do. Mostly, I think the biggest constry
Speaker 1: on other people engaging in fun is just time, you know.
Speaker 1: So for listeners who think that this sounds amazing, but
Speaker 1: there's no way they could fit this into their schedule,
Speaker 1: and there's way their friends could fit this into their schedule.
Speaker 1: What advice do you have about how to get it started?
Speaker 1: I would just say start small.
Speaker 3: It doesn't have to be every month, it doesn't have
Speaker 3: to be a group of thirteen people. If you have
Speaker 3: a close group of four friends and you make a
Speaker 3: point of even four times a year, each person schedules something,
Speaker 3: and it's something that doesn't have to even be expensive.
Speaker 3: A lot of the things that we did were actually
Speaker 3: no cost at all and somewhat pretty nominal cost and
Speaker 3: just getting out there and finding something new and different
Speaker 3: that you want to explore or do together.
Speaker 1: So another thing that comes up is that people start
Speaker 1: to worry about whether their preferences are like weird in
Speaker 1: some way. You know, I have my own fun factors,
Speaker 1: but they might not be your fun factors, right, And
Speaker 1: so how do you navigate that sort of thing? Do
Speaker 1: you vet the ideas ahead of time or how do
Speaker 1: you figure that out?
Speaker 3: Jen, We really don't, And I do think you have
Speaker 3: to be up for this idea of a fun prevention
Speaker 3: is something that maybe you don't think you're interested in,
Speaker 3: but you get there and it actually is more fun
Speaker 3: than you thought it was going to be. And so
Speaker 3: being open to that opportunity even if it's not something
Speaker 3: that would have necessarily been on your fun list, it
Speaker 3: might be on your fun list after the event.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think that's part of the message of all
Speaker 1: the things you've been saying, is that you know, nine
Speaker 1: times out of ten, maybe you know ninety nine times
Speaker 1: out of one hundred, it's going to be more fun
Speaker 1: than you expect. Absolutely.
Speaker 3: There was one exception where there was an email about
Speaker 3: what people do goat yoga.
Speaker 2: And I do think a lot it was boat yoga
Speaker 2: or a boat ride, and we were like, boat ride.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I'm also curious how the other people in your
Speaker 1: life react to this, right, and I imagine many of
Speaker 1: you have like husbands and kids, and you're all off
Speaker 1: doing these fun things. It sounds like they might not
Speaker 1: be invited to, Like have they ever had any reaction
Speaker 1: to this, or do they get inspired to do their
Speaker 1: own fund prevention.
Speaker 3: We have had friends that have when we post a picture,
Speaker 3: have commented, I want to do fun preventions, and we
Speaker 3: do know that they've started to set them up with
Speaker 3: some of their friends. Sometimes people ask if they can
Speaker 3: join us, but we've really left it with the running group.
Speaker 1: Our kids definitely love it.
Speaker 4: My girls and their friends all follow us on social
Speaker 4: media and they cannot wait for the pictures to come
Speaker 4: out of the fun prevention that we just did. And sometimes,
Speaker 4: I mean they're in their twenties, they'll go and do
Speaker 4: the things that we did, and so we're like iconstantly.
Speaker 1: So it seems like your fund inventions are inspiring them
Speaker 1: that fun stuff.
Speaker 4: Yeah, to go to the same places and do the
Speaker 4: same things.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I think the reaction I.
Speaker 2: Get like if I'm telling someone like a work person
Speaker 2: or and I start to talk about like our group
Speaker 2: and the number and the closeness and the connection, even
Speaker 2: before I get to like the fun prevention part of it,
Speaker 2: just who we all are, their first reaction is like
Speaker 2: I don't have that, Like, oh, that sounds so nice,
Speaker 2: And we just happen to have a lot of people.
Speaker 2: But you could do it with any number of people.
Speaker 3: And I don't even think you have to do it
Speaker 3: with just friends when you think about it. If you
Speaker 3: have extended family members, you could do it with cousins,
Speaker 3: you could do it even with family co workers, yes, couples.
Speaker 1: It sounds like the key is just that you have
Speaker 1: to put in a little bit of work, right. It
Speaker 1: takes a little bit of structure.
Speaker 4: And then the fun part is Jen has it all chronicled.
Speaker 4: Sometimes we'll just go out and we'll sit and we'll
Speaker 4: go back through a lot like we did today, and
Speaker 4: we'll laugh again about them.
Speaker 1: So a little bit of structure it goes a long
Speaker 1: way and they're really fun, fun memories. So do you
Speaker 1: want to hear how we ended up with the three
Speaker 1: of us?
Speaker 2: We had to like basically, everybody wanted to do this,
Speaker 2: like the whole group.
Speaker 1: You would have had thirteen of us if possible.
Speaker 2: Everybody wanted to everybody like so we shout out, that's
Speaker 2: what makes us us like all of us.
Speaker 1: We got to give them a shot. Especially yeah, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: they all want to come all day to day. Good
Speaker 1: luck you guys, extra special thanks to the entire Fun
Speaker 1: Invention group, not just Lisa, Jen and Natalie, but Denise, Carrey, Ellen, Jamie,
Speaker 1: Peggy Morey, Jill Kim, Teresa Karen and Paula. Hey. All right,
Speaker 1: more heads up if we can get it to work again?
Speaker 4: Sure?
Speaker 2: Oh wow, Hannah Montana, Oh uh, Wiley Cyrus.
Speaker 1: Oh he's wrestler.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: The Runners of Franklin, Massachusetts are such a great group
Speaker 1: of friends and they've really taken the science of well
Speaker 1: being and the lessons of the Happiness Lab to heart.
Speaker 1: And if you missed the two episodes about My own Funtervention,
Speaker 1: not to worry because we'll be returning these two episodes
Speaker 1: to the top of our feed next week