Speaker 1: Welcome to Can't Flee Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and
Speaker 1: the Black Effects, and just like that, we're back on
Speaker 1: the air. Welcome back to yet another Can'tfully Reckless episode
Speaker 1: with your girl. Just hilarious. Okay, So look, this is
Speaker 1: day number nine for me on set, and like I
Speaker 1: told y'all last week, I'm going to be helping y'all
Speaker 1: and fixing y'all mess and between scenes. So listen, this
Speaker 1: is what I'm doing. So if my voice is hoarse
Speaker 1: and I sound like somebody's dad, it's because I've been
Speaker 1: screaming to the top of my lungs filming this movie.
Speaker 1: By the way, the movie is called Pretty Stone and
Speaker 1: it drops on four to twenty on VH one and
Speaker 1: TV and all that other good shit the Viacom channels,
Speaker 1: you know. Anyway, So unfortunately, we do not have voice notes.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna be reading bed with me, child, because god,
Speaker 1: I've been reading scripts and all of that, and I know,
Speaker 1: let me stop trying to shit on y'all. I'm not
Speaker 1: trying to shit on y'all. I'm just saying I'm goddamn
Speaker 1: tired of reading well, just because y'all don't want y'all
Speaker 1: boyfriends and y'all beloved loved ones and best friends and
Speaker 1: all that shit. People that y'all falling out with, say hey,
Speaker 1: y'all voice because they recognize all those thinking ass voices.
Speaker 1: I got to read all this non punctuality, So let's
Speaker 1: jump straight in. Hi, Jessee. My name is Keiki. I'm
Speaker 1: twenty one from Detroit, and I need your help. Well,
Speaker 1: there goes anonymous. My father was shot and killed when
Speaker 1: I was three years old, so I grew up without
Speaker 1: my father and was raised by my mother. Growing up,
Speaker 1: I made bad decisions in men and some women as well,
Speaker 1: even though my mother did the best she could raising
Speaker 1: me and my brother. I'm writing you this because throughout
Speaker 1: my life I lost a lot of people in my family.
Speaker 1: A year after my father passed, I lost Grandpa, my
Speaker 1: dad's father when I was all right, you left out
Speaker 1: a word, But I guess you're trying to say when
Speaker 1: I was young or when I was a baby. My
Speaker 1: father's mother passed. My grandfather did remain years before I
Speaker 1: was born, and she is my bonus granny and I
Speaker 1: love her. By the time I turned seventeen, I lost
Speaker 1: my mentor. She was dance and choir director for years,
Speaker 1: I never got to say goodbye. By eighteen, I lost
Speaker 1: a few of my uncles. By eighteen I lost one
Speaker 1: of my uncles. A few months after another uncle. In
Speaker 1: twenty twenty, I lost my aunt, and most recently, in
Speaker 1: April of twenty twenty one, I lost my granny, my
Speaker 1: mother's mom, with her pass And this one was really
Speaker 1: hard to accept. She passed right before on Mother's Day
Speaker 1: and right before my twenty first birthday. What's really eating
Speaker 1: at me is that the last conversation we had, we
Speaker 1: argued a little. She had always been independent, but just
Speaker 1: got sick. She was no longer able to do things
Speaker 1: on her own, as simple as just drinking a glass
Speaker 1: of water or using the bathroom. The last thing she said,
Speaker 1: basically was get out, I don't care. The next day
Speaker 1: we placed her in the hospital because she wanted to go.
Speaker 1: That day, my mom took her in and she was talking,
Speaker 1: but by the time I got off work, she was
Speaker 1: on a ventilator and basically in a coma. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: She never woke up and passed away two weeks later.
Speaker 1: I never got to hear her voice again. My question
Speaker 1: is how do I manage all of the loss I
Speaker 1: have seen and been through in my life and still
Speaker 1: continue on gaining happiness for myself. PS my bad girl
Speaker 1: for calling you Jesse. I was typing too fast and
Speaker 1: didn't realize until it was already sent. Love you, girl.
Speaker 1: I do not mind you calling me Jesse at all.
Speaker 1: First and foremost, you are a very strong young woman.
Speaker 1: I'm glad that you sought the courage to even reach
Speaker 1: out to me and be as vulnerable as you were
Speaker 1: to share as much as you did. Losses are not easy,
Speaker 1: especially back to back to back to back losses. People
Speaker 1: have different ways of dealing with losses. I noticed that
Speaker 1: you told me about all the people that you lost,
Speaker 1: but you never told me just how you managed to
Speaker 1: deal with it or how you have coped in the
Speaker 1: past with it. You said, the hardest loss that you
Speaker 1: had to take was your grandmother, and that was so
Speaker 1: hard because you guys kind of ended not on a
Speaker 1: really bad note, but not really a good note. You
Speaker 1: guys argued a little bit. She had told you to
Speaker 1: get out. You guys had differences, and the next day
Speaker 1: she was placed in a hospital and two weeks later
Speaker 1: died after you not even being able to hear her
Speaker 1: voice after the argument, because you were at work and
Speaker 1: didn't get off until later on that day, and she
Speaker 1: was already on the ventilator by then. I'm sorry. I'm
Speaker 1: sorry for all of your losses. However, you're still twenty one, Okay.
Speaker 1: Nothing can sue the pain, nothing can bring those loved
Speaker 1: ones back. But you, being twenty one and still at
Speaker 1: a very young age and still having so much life
Speaker 1: to live. I think that you should take this as
Speaker 1: a stepping stone for what has prepared you for this
Speaker 1: cruel world that we live in today. We do. We
Speaker 1: live in a very very cruel world. We live in
Speaker 1: a world where you can see somebody here today and
Speaker 1: gone today. You can see somebody this morning, they're gone
Speaker 1: this afternoon. You know, you can see somebody the night
Speaker 1: before they're gone the next day. You've gone through a
Speaker 1: lot of that. I think starting your healing process looks
Speaker 1: like therapy. And I don't mean just fix my mess.
Speaker 1: I mean like some real, real therapy, not so much
Speaker 1: deeply rooted issues. You already know what they are. You
Speaker 1: already know the deal with your parents and your grandparents
Speaker 1: and all of the branches on your family tree. I
Speaker 1: think it's just the matter of you surrounding yourself with
Speaker 1: positive energy and going to healing groups like Also, I
Speaker 1: just recently gave this same advice to someone else I
Speaker 1: was helping on this podcast. I'm having a deja vu moment.
Speaker 1: Very vividly I spoke on this. There are healing groups
Speaker 1: and support groups at churches, and if you're non religious,
Speaker 1: there are different support groups that are non religious that
Speaker 1: you can actually participate, and they have them weekly. Sometimes
Speaker 1: people need them more than once a week. People need
Speaker 1: them daily until they're able to kind of grasp what
Speaker 1: that healing looks like, that self healing looks like, and
Speaker 1: then you need these groups less and less. Like I said,
Speaker 1: surround yourself with positivity, things that make you happy. There
Speaker 1: has to be something that makes you happy and all
Speaker 1: this turmoil and through all of these losses that you've
Speaker 1: encountered in your younger years in life up until now,
Speaker 1: there has to be something that you know makes you happy.
Speaker 1: And you have to have a happy place to go to,
Speaker 1: even if there is something in particular that doesn't make
Speaker 1: you happy. That has to be some place that brings
Speaker 1: you good memories happiness to look forward to. Something like that.
Speaker 1: Are you dating, do you have many friends. Are you
Speaker 1: satisfied with the job that you have. Do you have
Speaker 1: a pet? Do you have an emotional support dog? Do
Speaker 1: you You know because I have one. When I was
Speaker 1: going through not being able to juggle being a full
Speaker 1: time mom and a full time entertainer because my son
Speaker 1: was in school and I was on the road a lot,
Speaker 1: I got a dog. I used to take my dog, Baine,
Speaker 1: who's a French bulldog. By the way, and it's going
Speaker 1: on three years old. March thirty first is his birthday.
Speaker 1: And don't play with my dog. He's in aries. I
Speaker 1: bought him, and he bought so much joy to my life.
Speaker 1: He actually helped me cope with being alone and away
Speaker 1: from my son, my biological son, you know, because I
Speaker 1: say my dog is my son as well. They're very
Speaker 1: good for emotional support. They're very good for when you
Speaker 1: do feel lonely. They're good for breakups, they're good for losses.
Speaker 1: They're good for filling that void. And they never leave you.
Speaker 1: They never turn on you. I can't speak for every
Speaker 1: breed of dog, but I know that your French yet
Speaker 1: will not because mine hasn't. And this is not my
Speaker 1: first Frenchie. I've had two but there are multiple outlets
Speaker 1: that will help you. You with where you are in
Speaker 1: your life right now and how you feel like there
Speaker 1: can never be happiness and how it seems like it's
Speaker 1: never ending misery for you. There are different outlets, So
Speaker 1: I just I want you to take into account that
Speaker 1: there is help, but I want you to go lay
Speaker 1: on an actual couch, an actual therapist couch, and get
Speaker 1: through this because you definitely can check back in with me.
Speaker 1: I want to make sure you're fine. I want to
Speaker 1: make sure you're okay. You know, I love to do
Speaker 1: the check ins okay, And by you being so young,
Speaker 1: I think you're going to figure it out. I really do.
Speaker 1: I see a lot for you. Tell me a lot
Speaker 1: more or a little bit more about yourself, about your
Speaker 1: social life and are you an introvert like I want
Speaker 1: to learn more about you other than just your losses
Speaker 1: that you've been through, you know, the loss of your
Speaker 1: loved ones. There are so many other things I bet
Speaker 1: that you can tell me. There is so much more
Speaker 1: to you. I know it is, so check back in
Speaker 1: and let me know it's a lot of things you
Speaker 1: didn't tell me, because I want to know exactly how
Speaker 1: I can help you. You gave me quite a bit,
Speaker 1: but it's not enough of you. You didn't tell me
Speaker 1: about yourself. Gave me a lot about the family tree.
Speaker 1: So check back in with me, baby girl. If you
Speaker 1: love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll
Speaker 1: be right back and moving on. Okay, we have a
Speaker 1: guy this time. Then he did not send a voice
Speaker 1: note in, so I'll be reading his story. Here we go.
Speaker 1: If one was interested, how would one go about being
Speaker 1: your friend with benefits only sexual benefits, nothing more. Ask
Speaker 1: me for a friend. Get the fucker off of here. Shit,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to help people. You trying to bust a nut.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, sir, Look it's going on. Hey Jazz, I
Speaker 1: really don't know where to start, but I will say.
Speaker 1: I'm a twenty seven year old mother. I have two girls.
Speaker 1: The oldest is ten and the youngest is six. My
Speaker 1: kids no longer live with me. My aunt did an
Speaker 1: emergency custody order on me back in twenty seventeen while
Speaker 1: I was at work Walmart. But before that, I let
Speaker 1: her know that my last child, dad kept popping up
Speaker 1: to my crib at all times of the night, accusing
Speaker 1: me of laying up because I never answered the phone
Speaker 1: when he was calling at two thirty am three o'clock am,
Speaker 1: so he'd pop up. Growing up, I was taking from
Speaker 1: my mom at three months from her sisters who had
Speaker 1: three boys of their own. But the aunt I was
Speaker 1: with first she had two boys and one girl. My
Speaker 1: mom had two boys then me. I never really got
Speaker 1: the time to be around my mom, so I really
Speaker 1: don't know her like that, and she died when I
Speaker 1: was ten. I was literally getting passed from both aunts
Speaker 1: back and forth. The one who has my kids now
Speaker 1: have kids that are mentally not there, and one of
Speaker 1: them has to be at least thirty six. He works
Speaker 1: for when Dixie and the other got to be at
Speaker 1: least thirty. He plays games and works at Walmart. The
Speaker 1: youngest is in the military, and he witnessed his older
Speaker 1: brother doing weird shit when I was younger, like catching
Speaker 1: him sniffing my panties by the washing machine to peek
Speaker 1: through the cracks in the bathroom door when we were
Speaker 1: in a trailer at the time. Then when I was
Speaker 1: with the other aunt and we came down to visit them,
Speaker 1: me and my girl cousin would get in trouble for
Speaker 1: laughing too loud, so our aunt would make us come
Speaker 1: in the living room. We'd fall asleep eventually, but every
Speaker 1: time we woke up her oldest son he'd be in
Speaker 1: between us. So after my kids got taken, I moved
Speaker 1: back and with the aunt that took me at three months.
Speaker 1: She'd let anyone crash at her spot. I had good
Speaker 1: days just as well as terrible ones. The aunt with
Speaker 1: my kids would come by to visit her sister, so
Speaker 1: I'd get to spend five minutes with the kids because
Speaker 1: she didn't stay long. And every time the kids see me,
Speaker 1: they come running calling me mommy, but my aunt be
Speaker 1: rolling her eyes. This the same lady died ten times
Speaker 1: from a heart attack in six goddamn and came back
Speaker 1: to life acting like a Christian. But she once told
Speaker 1: me I was going to be good for nothing but
Speaker 1: laying on my back, and she said she was going
Speaker 1: to haunt me if she was to ever die, which
Speaker 1: I felt like she's already dead because I have custody
Speaker 1: orders saying to get my kids on Mother's Day all
Speaker 1: major holidays. Last time I tried, which was about two
Speaker 1: weeks ago, I show up to our house. She had
Speaker 1: church music playing. I sat at her table, opened my
Speaker 1: folder with my court documents and a calendar to discuss
Speaker 1: the days. This lady just started yelling and telling the girls,
Speaker 1: tell your mama, you don't want to be with her,
Speaker 1: and they started crying. So I kissed my oldest and
Speaker 1: told her, Mama, finna leave. I don't got time for
Speaker 1: your auntie drama. Me and my girlfriend of three years
Speaker 1: moved to Florida in June of twenty twenty two, which
Speaker 1: is an hour away. They're in Alabama. It's like this
Speaker 1: woman didn't expect me to come for my children, and
Speaker 1: it's wild she's brainwashing them with mother in their right
Speaker 1: mind once their little girl's living on a couch with them,
Speaker 1: when God knows who's walking in and out all times
Speaker 1: of the night. It was times my car would break
Speaker 1: down and nobody would help me to get work done
Speaker 1: on it, and not even the ones living with me
Speaker 1: at the time because they were too busy or too sleepy.
Speaker 1: Then again I got in some mess back in twenty seventeen,
Speaker 1: so I asked my aunt would she get the kids
Speaker 1: because I didn't want neither dad having them because a
Speaker 1: lot was going on. Even though my case didn't come
Speaker 1: up until mid twenty twenty two. I'm in the process
Speaker 1: of handling that now with a lawyer because I have
Speaker 1: court next month, so I'm gonna work on the custody
Speaker 1: case right away when I get my chips straight. I've
Speaker 1: been at this hotel job for six months. I put
Speaker 1: a petition in stating she's not going by the court's order,
Speaker 1: she's not allowing me to see my children, and I
Speaker 1: feel like to take it a step even further to
Speaker 1: help my fight. I want to bring up her child
Speaker 1: touching me so bad, because honestly, I don't feel comfortable
Speaker 1: with my girls living there. What do you think about
Speaker 1: my mess? This is generational curse that needs to be broken.
Speaker 1: My grandmother caught Alzheimer's an O four, and the aunt
Speaker 1: that I was with at first all left me with her.
Speaker 1: We had a big household which belonged to my grandmother.
Speaker 1: My aunt just took over, moved my kids four hours away,
Speaker 1: and she never came to see her mom when she
Speaker 1: was sick because she was too busy taking care of
Speaker 1: somebody else's mom. I literally had to feed my grandmother meds,
Speaker 1: bathe her, feed her. Most of the time she would
Speaker 1: spit the meds out. One night, a man knocked on
Speaker 1: the door saying he see our grandmother walking toward the cemetery.
Speaker 1: We lived on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere.
Speaker 1: It took an hour to get to a store, plus
Speaker 1: I was barely in school. I had asthma bed so
Speaker 1: I was either in the hospital or home with my grandmother.
Speaker 1: As soon as my mom died, she was living with
Speaker 1: the aunt that has my kids now, her sister. I
Speaker 1: moved in months after that because I kept getting in trouble.
Speaker 1: Me and my younger cousin was fighting too much, so
Speaker 1: I said I wanted to leave, and once spring break came,
Speaker 1: I left. I get with the aunt that has my
Speaker 1: kids now, and she's never there. She's out in the
Speaker 1: streets coming home, falling on the floor, drunk as hell,
Speaker 1: and all kinds of stuff. She went Christian and really
Speaker 1: got worse. If you ask me, all she does is
Speaker 1: mumble under her breath. It's weird. I could go on
Speaker 1: and on. Girl you have. She's always saying I'm on drugs,
Speaker 1: and she labels it badly. All I do is smoke weed.
Speaker 1: She calls it dope. But I don't smoke dope because
Speaker 1: I know I'm gonna have to pay clean for my babies,
Speaker 1: so whenever the time comes, I'll be good. Okay. So, honey, child,
Speaker 1: you were ever reware, and I still don't even know
Speaker 1: exactly what your question is as to how I can
Speaker 1: help you. So I'm just going to try to assist
Speaker 1: you as best as I know how after reading that long,
Speaker 1: long story. Hold up, hold up, I know this shit
Speaker 1: getting good, But listen to just a couple seconds of
Speaker 1: a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen. So obviously,
Speaker 1: there are family issues, just like my girl in the
Speaker 1: first story, there are family issues there, and these scene
Speaker 1: a bit worse because it's like your family is not
Speaker 1: even a damn family like your aunts and your cousins,
Speaker 1: and you know, you being touched, and then you having
Speaker 1: to deal with the fact that this very same house
Speaker 1: that you grew up in and you were touched, and
Speaker 1: your kids are under the care of those same people.
Speaker 1: You know. So I can only imagine what you're going through,
Speaker 1: how it's making you feel as a parent. You feel helpless,
Speaker 1: you feel useless, You probably feel like you can't even
Speaker 1: help your children. And the fact that you did mention
Speaker 1: there at the end that you know you need your
Speaker 1: pe to be clean, your urine to be clean. I'm
Speaker 1: assuming your own probation, supervised, that is, and I don't
Speaker 1: know what your charges are. I don't care. You just
Speaker 1: need to get your children. You need to get yourself
Speaker 1: together so you can get your children, because it's some
Speaker 1: things going on with you as well. I'm not going
Speaker 1: to sit here and blame every single thing on your family.
Speaker 1: I'm not blaming anything on you either, because now what
Speaker 1: is blaming anyone going to do for anything right now?
Speaker 1: But there are issues that you have as well. There's
Speaker 1: trouble that I can tell that you are in and
Speaker 1: out of, not just that one time in twenty seventeen.
Speaker 1: There is a demons your fighting there are there seems
Speaker 1: like a dark cloud over your head wherever you go.
Speaker 1: I need for you to get yourself together and get
Speaker 1: your children. Your aunt seems to love your babies, but
Speaker 1: don't really have the best interest for you. I feel
Speaker 1: like she may be bitter and fed up with you.
Speaker 1: I think whatever you have done in the past, maybe
Speaker 1: in her eyes, you haven't taken life serious. You could
Speaker 1: have done more as a mother in her eyes. I
Speaker 1: feel like so she's kind of bitter toward you. She
Speaker 1: kind of maybe feels like you didn't do enough to
Speaker 1: get your children, you know, and a lot of people
Speaker 1: that take on other family members' children, they kind of
Speaker 1: start resenting whoever the biological parent is because I'm over
Speaker 1: here taking care of your child, your child in a
Speaker 1: lot of cases, not just one, it's children, multiple children
Speaker 1: being taken care of by a family member, and you
Speaker 1: out here just still on drugs. So you out here,
Speaker 1: just still doing what you're doing. You're just out here
Speaker 1: in the fucking streets, and shit, you're not even making
Speaker 1: an effort to better yourself. So you can show me
Speaker 1: that you at least are trying to get on your
Speaker 1: fucking feet within a timely fashion. Like you know, time
Speaker 1: is fucking ticking, and kids grow up. They don't get younger,
Speaker 1: they only get older. So you know, I know a
Speaker 1: part of your aunt is like, look, I raise my children,
Speaker 1: whether they're good boys or not, good boys, bad boys,
Speaker 1: good children. Whatever I raise my children, I'm doing you
Speaker 1: a favor, the due diligence of what a family should
Speaker 1: be at all times, because it takes a village, and
Speaker 1: she is head of your village because she has your
Speaker 1: children and has had your children for a while now.
Speaker 1: That's coming from her side. From your side. You need
Speaker 1: to get your children because you don't want them to
Speaker 1: go through the same thing you went through. No, you
Speaker 1: weren't brutally raped and all that, but you were touched
Speaker 1: and it could have gone that way. Your cousins smelling
Speaker 1: your panties and all that shit. And they're now older.
Speaker 1: This was when they were younger. Only god knows what
Speaker 1: the hell they are into now if they're still that way.
Speaker 1: Not saying that, but I'm only going off of what
Speaker 1: you told me when I'm in her thirties and the
Speaker 1: other one in the late twenties or what have you. Whatever,
Speaker 1: you need to get your children, get yourself together, get
Speaker 1: a job. I'm talking about, go through the courts, do
Speaker 1: it the right way. Don't fight your aunt. Don't try
Speaker 1: to reason with her. Don't. She's so angry and so
Speaker 1: bitter and so pissed off with you right now. You know,
Speaker 1: especially how you said the meeting when you went to go.
Speaker 1: You know, when she brought the kids over to the
Speaker 1: house for five minutes and she's telling the kids to
Speaker 1: tell your mother, y'all don't want to go with her
Speaker 1: and all that, and you know, your kids are only
Speaker 1: getting older. They're going to start seeing this and developing
Speaker 1: their own rendition of what family is in their minds,
Speaker 1: and it cannot be this. So you have to do
Speaker 1: what you have to do. Put on your big girl panties,
Speaker 1: get yourself together, go get your children, check back in
Speaker 1: all right, And if you haven't heard it in a while,
Speaker 1: I don't know you, but I love you. And just
Speaker 1: like that, we're gonna end this episode. We had two
Speaker 1: very painfully emotional stories, Oh my God, or should I
Speaker 1: say emotionally painful stories. I'm over here and between sets
Speaker 1: about the damn cry Jesus. Both of these women have
Speaker 1: gone through traumatic stress, a great deal of trauma and
Speaker 1: their families, and I'm praying for both of them, and
Speaker 1: y'all should do the same. Make sure you tune into
Speaker 1: co parenting therapy with Rome and just that's me a
Speaker 1: little baby daddy, as we're sitting down with other parents
Speaker 1: who are trying to create healthy environments for their children
Speaker 1: to grow up and to raise them amicably, move forward
Speaker 1: amicably without trying to be together, So that lives on YouTube,
Speaker 1: that it's taken the place right now of reckless discussions
Speaker 1: while we work on revamping season two, which is still coming.
Speaker 1: Y'all listen the works. Iron't leave y'all hanging house of
Speaker 1: jewels coming. Make sure you tune into Carefully Reckless each
Speaker 1: and every Wednesday on your way to work in the
Speaker 1: mornings and the evenings wherever you get your podcasts at.
Speaker 1: And then my deepest pan voice, please see you next week.
Speaker 1: Can't Fully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The
Speaker 1: Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app,
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