WEBVTT - Reckless Replay: Fighting For Family 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.320 Welcome to Can't Flee Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and 0:00:03.360 --> 0:00:16.680 the Black Effects, and just like that, we're back on 0:00:16.720 --> 0:00:19.640 the air. Welcome back to yet another Can'tfully Reckless episode 0:00:19.680 --> 0:00:21.799 with your girl. Just hilarious. Okay, So look, this is 0:00:22.720 --> 0:00:26.319 day number nine for me on set, and like I 0:00:26.360 --> 0:00:29.200 told y'all last week, I'm going to be helping y'all 0:00:29.240 --> 0:00:32.599 and fixing y'all mess and between scenes. So listen, this 0:00:32.640 --> 0:00:34.520 is what I'm doing. So if my voice is hoarse 0:00:34.600 --> 0:00:37.120 and I sound like somebody's dad, it's because I've been 0:00:37.120 --> 0:00:40.240 screaming to the top of my lungs filming this movie. 0:00:40.360 --> 0:00:42.519 By the way, the movie is called Pretty Stone and 0:00:42.720 --> 0:00:46.000 it drops on four to twenty on VH one and 0:00:46.120 --> 0:00:48.839 TV and all that other good shit the Viacom channels, 0:00:48.840 --> 0:00:53.640 you know. Anyway, So unfortunately, we do not have voice notes. 0:00:54.200 --> 0:00:57.520 So I'm gonna be reading bed with me, child, because god, 0:00:57.640 --> 0:01:00.320 I've been reading scripts and all of that, and I know, 0:01:00.800 --> 0:01:02.200 let me stop trying to shit on y'all. I'm not 0:01:02.200 --> 0:01:04.360 trying to shit on y'all. I'm just saying I'm goddamn 0:01:04.360 --> 0:01:07.600 tired of reading well, just because y'all don't want y'all 0:01:07.640 --> 0:01:10.800 boyfriends and y'all beloved loved ones and best friends and 0:01:10.880 --> 0:01:13.240 all that shit. People that y'all falling out with, say hey, 0:01:13.319 --> 0:01:16.040 y'all voice because they recognize all those thinking ass voices. 0:01:16.319 --> 0:01:20.440 I got to read all this non punctuality, So let's 0:01:20.520 --> 0:01:23.960 jump straight in. Hi, Jessee. My name is Keiki. I'm 0:01:24.000 --> 0:01:26.640 twenty one from Detroit, and I need your help. Well, 0:01:26.800 --> 0:01:29.600 there goes anonymous. My father was shot and killed when 0:01:29.600 --> 0:01:31.479 I was three years old, so I grew up without 0:01:31.520 --> 0:01:34.000 my father and was raised by my mother. Growing up, 0:01:34.000 --> 0:01:37.040 I made bad decisions in men and some women as well, 0:01:37.480 --> 0:01:39.720 even though my mother did the best she could raising 0:01:39.720 --> 0:01:42.600 me and my brother. I'm writing you this because throughout 0:01:42.600 --> 0:01:44.679 my life I lost a lot of people in my family. 0:01:45.080 --> 0:01:48.360 A year after my father passed, I lost Grandpa, my 0:01:48.480 --> 0:01:52.040 dad's father when I was all right, you left out 0:01:52.040 --> 0:01:54.120 a word, But I guess you're trying to say when 0:01:54.160 --> 0:01:56.560 I was young or when I was a baby. My 0:01:56.720 --> 0:02:01.280 father's mother passed. My grandfather did remain years before I 0:02:01.400 --> 0:02:03.920 was born, and she is my bonus granny and I 0:02:03.920 --> 0:02:06.760 love her. By the time I turned seventeen, I lost 0:02:06.880 --> 0:02:10.679 my mentor. She was dance and choir director for years, 0:02:10.919 --> 0:02:13.160 I never got to say goodbye. By eighteen, I lost 0:02:13.280 --> 0:02:16.600 a few of my uncles. By eighteen I lost one 0:02:16.600 --> 0:02:20.000 of my uncles. A few months after another uncle. In 0:02:20.040 --> 0:02:24.320 twenty twenty, I lost my aunt, and most recently, in 0:02:24.360 --> 0:02:27.920 April of twenty twenty one, I lost my granny, my 0:02:28.000 --> 0:02:30.880 mother's mom, with her pass And this one was really 0:02:30.919 --> 0:02:33.960 hard to accept. She passed right before on Mother's Day 0:02:34.080 --> 0:02:37.320 and right before my twenty first birthday. What's really eating 0:02:37.360 --> 0:02:40.400 at me is that the last conversation we had, we 0:02:40.600 --> 0:02:43.960 argued a little. She had always been independent, but just 0:02:44.040 --> 0:02:47.160 got sick. She was no longer able to do things 0:02:47.200 --> 0:02:50.160 on her own, as simple as just drinking a glass 0:02:50.160 --> 0:02:54.320 of water or using the bathroom. The last thing she said, 0:02:54.360 --> 0:02:57.280 basically was get out, I don't care. The next day 0:02:57.320 --> 0:02:59.919 we placed her in the hospital because she wanted to go. 0:03:01.240 --> 0:03:03.480 That day, my mom took her in and she was talking, 0:03:03.560 --> 0:03:05.680 but by the time I got off work, she was 0:03:05.720 --> 0:03:09.160 on a ventilator and basically in a coma. Oh my god. 0:03:09.680 --> 0:03:12.200 She never woke up and passed away two weeks later. 0:03:12.680 --> 0:03:15.320 I never got to hear her voice again. My question 0:03:15.440 --> 0:03:18.200 is how do I manage all of the loss I 0:03:18.240 --> 0:03:20.840 have seen and been through in my life and still 0:03:20.880 --> 0:03:24.800 continue on gaining happiness for myself. PS my bad girl 0:03:24.840 --> 0:03:27.600 for calling you Jesse. I was typing too fast and 0:03:27.639 --> 0:03:31.840 didn't realize until it was already sent. Love you, girl. 0:03:31.880 --> 0:03:34.280 I do not mind you calling me Jesse at all. 0:03:35.120 --> 0:03:37.600 First and foremost, you are a very strong young woman. 0:03:37.640 --> 0:03:40.520 I'm glad that you sought the courage to even reach 0:03:40.560 --> 0:03:42.480 out to me and be as vulnerable as you were 0:03:42.520 --> 0:03:45.840 to share as much as you did. Losses are not easy, 0:03:45.960 --> 0:03:49.200 especially back to back to back to back losses. People 0:03:49.240 --> 0:03:52.880 have different ways of dealing with losses. I noticed that 0:03:52.920 --> 0:03:54.680 you told me about all the people that you lost, 0:03:54.680 --> 0:03:58.120 but you never told me just how you managed to 0:03:58.120 --> 0:04:00.280 deal with it or how you have coped in the 0:04:00.320 --> 0:04:03.800 past with it. You said, the hardest loss that you 0:04:03.880 --> 0:04:07.360 had to take was your grandmother, and that was so 0:04:07.480 --> 0:04:11.880 hard because you guys kind of ended not on a 0:04:11.920 --> 0:04:13.920 really bad note, but not really a good note. You 0:04:13.960 --> 0:04:16.080 guys argued a little bit. She had told you to 0:04:16.080 --> 0:04:20.000 get out. You guys had differences, and the next day 0:04:20.040 --> 0:04:23.680 she was placed in a hospital and two weeks later 0:04:23.839 --> 0:04:26.560 died after you not even being able to hear her 0:04:26.680 --> 0:04:29.479 voice after the argument, because you were at work and 0:04:29.480 --> 0:04:32.760 didn't get off until later on that day, and she 0:04:32.920 --> 0:04:36.520 was already on the ventilator by then. I'm sorry. I'm 0:04:36.520 --> 0:04:41.120 sorry for all of your losses. However, you're still twenty one, Okay. 0:04:41.240 --> 0:04:45.359 Nothing can sue the pain, nothing can bring those loved 0:04:45.360 --> 0:04:48.760 ones back. But you, being twenty one and still at 0:04:48.760 --> 0:04:52.000 a very young age and still having so much life 0:04:52.080 --> 0:04:55.160 to live. I think that you should take this as 0:04:55.160 --> 0:04:58.960 a stepping stone for what has prepared you for this 0:04:59.080 --> 0:05:01.120 cruel world that we live in today. We do. We 0:05:01.160 --> 0:05:02.840 live in a very very cruel world. We live in 0:05:02.880 --> 0:05:05.680 a world where you can see somebody here today and 0:05:05.720 --> 0:05:08.360 gone today. You can see somebody this morning, they're gone 0:05:08.360 --> 0:05:10.920 this afternoon. You know, you can see somebody the night 0:05:10.960 --> 0:05:13.159 before they're gone the next day. You've gone through a 0:05:13.200 --> 0:05:17.760 lot of that. I think starting your healing process looks 0:05:17.839 --> 0:05:20.640 like therapy. And I don't mean just fix my mess. 0:05:20.640 --> 0:05:24.680 I mean like some real, real therapy, not so much 0:05:24.800 --> 0:05:27.600 deeply rooted issues. You already know what they are. You 0:05:27.640 --> 0:05:30.880 already know the deal with your parents and your grandparents 0:05:30.880 --> 0:05:33.920 and all of the branches on your family tree. I 0:05:33.960 --> 0:05:36.520 think it's just the matter of you surrounding yourself with 0:05:36.600 --> 0:05:41.440 positive energy and going to healing groups like Also, I 0:05:41.520 --> 0:05:45.040 just recently gave this same advice to someone else I 0:05:45.080 --> 0:05:48.000 was helping on this podcast. I'm having a deja vu moment. 0:05:48.120 --> 0:05:51.760 Very vividly I spoke on this. There are healing groups 0:05:51.760 --> 0:05:54.760 and support groups at churches, and if you're non religious, 0:05:54.960 --> 0:05:59.080 there are different support groups that are non religious that 0:05:59.160 --> 0:06:03.839 you can actually participate, and they have them weekly. Sometimes 0:06:03.839 --> 0:06:08.000 people need them more than once a week. People need 0:06:08.040 --> 0:06:12.440 them daily until they're able to kind of grasp what 0:06:12.480 --> 0:06:15.520 that healing looks like, that self healing looks like, and 0:06:15.560 --> 0:06:18.520 then you need these groups less and less. Like I said, 0:06:18.520 --> 0:06:22.360 surround yourself with positivity, things that make you happy. There 0:06:22.360 --> 0:06:25.400 has to be something that makes you happy and all 0:06:25.440 --> 0:06:28.279 this turmoil and through all of these losses that you've 0:06:28.440 --> 0:06:31.640 encountered in your younger years in life up until now, 0:06:32.360 --> 0:06:35.360 there has to be something that you know makes you happy. 0:06:36.040 --> 0:06:38.680 And you have to have a happy place to go to, 0:06:39.040 --> 0:06:41.520 even if there is something in particular that doesn't make 0:06:41.520 --> 0:06:43.880 you happy. That has to be some place that brings 0:06:43.920 --> 0:06:48.840 you good memories happiness to look forward to. Something like that. 0:06:48.880 --> 0:06:52.120 Are you dating, do you have many friends. Are you 0:06:52.200 --> 0:06:54.719 satisfied with the job that you have. Do you have 0:06:54.760 --> 0:06:57.280 a pet? Do you have an emotional support dog? Do 0:06:57.320 --> 0:06:59.919 you You know because I have one. When I was 0:07:00.080 --> 0:07:04.280 going through not being able to juggle being a full 0:07:04.320 --> 0:07:07.880 time mom and a full time entertainer because my son 0:07:08.000 --> 0:07:11.040 was in school and I was on the road a lot, 0:07:11.760 --> 0:07:14.280 I got a dog. I used to take my dog, Baine, 0:07:14.520 --> 0:07:17.120 who's a French bulldog. By the way, and it's going 0:07:17.160 --> 0:07:19.840 on three years old. March thirty first is his birthday. 0:07:19.880 --> 0:07:22.760 And don't play with my dog. He's in aries. I 0:07:22.840 --> 0:07:25.920 bought him, and he bought so much joy to my life. 0:07:25.920 --> 0:07:30.120 He actually helped me cope with being alone and away 0:07:30.160 --> 0:07:33.800 from my son, my biological son, you know, because I 0:07:34.160 --> 0:07:36.440 say my dog is my son as well. They're very 0:07:36.480 --> 0:07:39.000 good for emotional support. They're very good for when you 0:07:39.000 --> 0:07:41.440 do feel lonely. They're good for breakups, they're good for losses. 0:07:41.480 --> 0:07:45.080 They're good for filling that void. And they never leave you. 0:07:45.120 --> 0:07:48.400 They never turn on you. I can't speak for every 0:07:48.760 --> 0:07:51.160 breed of dog, but I know that your French yet 0:07:51.200 --> 0:07:54.280 will not because mine hasn't. And this is not my 0:07:54.320 --> 0:07:58.880 first Frenchie. I've had two but there are multiple outlets 0:07:59.320 --> 0:08:02.480 that will help you. You with where you are in 0:08:02.520 --> 0:08:04.600 your life right now and how you feel like there 0:08:04.640 --> 0:08:07.360 can never be happiness and how it seems like it's 0:08:07.400 --> 0:08:11.720 never ending misery for you. There are different outlets, So 0:08:11.800 --> 0:08:14.760 I just I want you to take into account that 0:08:15.080 --> 0:08:17.400 there is help, but I want you to go lay 0:08:17.440 --> 0:08:21.640 on an actual couch, an actual therapist couch, and get 0:08:21.720 --> 0:08:25.000 through this because you definitely can check back in with me. 0:08:25.040 --> 0:08:26.800 I want to make sure you're fine. I want to 0:08:26.800 --> 0:08:28.680 make sure you're okay. You know, I love to do 0:08:28.720 --> 0:08:31.440 the check ins okay, And by you being so young, 0:08:31.920 --> 0:08:33.560 I think you're going to figure it out. I really do. 0:08:33.679 --> 0:08:35.840 I see a lot for you. Tell me a lot 0:08:35.920 --> 0:08:38.600 more or a little bit more about yourself, about your 0:08:38.600 --> 0:08:41.280 social life and are you an introvert like I want 0:08:41.320 --> 0:08:44.920 to learn more about you other than just your losses 0:08:44.960 --> 0:08:46.760 that you've been through, you know, the loss of your 0:08:46.800 --> 0:08:50.880 loved ones. There are so many other things I bet 0:08:50.920 --> 0:08:53.080 that you can tell me. There is so much more 0:08:53.120 --> 0:08:55.360 to you. I know it is, so check back in 0:08:55.400 --> 0:08:56.680 and let me know it's a lot of things you 0:08:56.679 --> 0:08:59.240 didn't tell me, because I want to know exactly how 0:08:59.240 --> 0:09:01.400 I can help you. You gave me quite a bit, 0:09:01.920 --> 0:09:03.760 but it's not enough of you. You didn't tell me 0:09:04.200 --> 0:09:07.880 about yourself. Gave me a lot about the family tree. 0:09:08.120 --> 0:09:11.640 So check back in with me, baby girl. If you 0:09:11.720 --> 0:09:14.120 love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll 0:09:14.120 --> 0:09:18.680 be right back and moving on. Okay, we have a 0:09:18.679 --> 0:09:21.079 guy this time. Then he did not send a voice 0:09:21.080 --> 0:09:24.319 note in, so I'll be reading his story. Here we go. 0:09:25.120 --> 0:09:28.280 If one was interested, how would one go about being 0:09:28.320 --> 0:09:32.280 your friend with benefits only sexual benefits, nothing more. Ask 0:09:32.360 --> 0:09:35.839 me for a friend. Get the fucker off of here. Shit, 0:09:36.559 --> 0:09:38.880 I'm trying to help people. You trying to bust a nut. 0:09:39.000 --> 0:09:44.680 Oh yeah, sir, Look it's going on. Hey Jazz, I 0:09:44.679 --> 0:09:46.680 really don't know where to start, but I will say. 0:09:46.679 --> 0:09:49.400 I'm a twenty seven year old mother. I have two girls. 0:09:49.800 --> 0:09:52.800 The oldest is ten and the youngest is six. My 0:09:52.920 --> 0:09:55.120 kids no longer live with me. My aunt did an 0:09:55.120 --> 0:09:58.480 emergency custody order on me back in twenty seventeen while 0:09:58.520 --> 0:10:02.200 I was at work Walmart. But before that, I let 0:10:02.200 --> 0:10:05.080 her know that my last child, dad kept popping up 0:10:05.080 --> 0:10:07.440 to my crib at all times of the night, accusing 0:10:07.440 --> 0:10:10.080 me of laying up because I never answered the phone 0:10:10.120 --> 0:10:13.920 when he was calling at two thirty am three o'clock am, 0:10:14.200 --> 0:10:16.880 so he'd pop up. Growing up, I was taking from 0:10:16.920 --> 0:10:19.160 my mom at three months from her sisters who had 0:10:19.200 --> 0:10:21.600 three boys of their own. But the aunt I was 0:10:21.600 --> 0:10:25.120 with first she had two boys and one girl. My 0:10:25.200 --> 0:10:27.760 mom had two boys then me. I never really got 0:10:27.760 --> 0:10:30.040 the time to be around my mom, so I really 0:10:30.040 --> 0:10:32.640 don't know her like that, and she died when I 0:10:32.720 --> 0:10:36.880 was ten. I was literally getting passed from both aunts 0:10:36.960 --> 0:10:39.480 back and forth. The one who has my kids now 0:10:39.960 --> 0:10:43.000 have kids that are mentally not there, and one of 0:10:43.040 --> 0:10:45.240 them has to be at least thirty six. He works 0:10:45.240 --> 0:10:47.520 for when Dixie and the other got to be at 0:10:47.600 --> 0:10:51.080 least thirty. He plays games and works at Walmart. The 0:10:51.120 --> 0:10:53.600 youngest is in the military, and he witnessed his older 0:10:53.640 --> 0:10:56.120 brother doing weird shit when I was younger, like catching 0:10:56.240 --> 0:10:59.880 him sniffing my panties by the washing machine to peek 0:11:00.160 --> 0:11:02.319 through the cracks in the bathroom door when we were 0:11:02.360 --> 0:11:04.960 in a trailer at the time. Then when I was 0:11:05.200 --> 0:11:08.319 with the other aunt and we came down to visit them, 0:11:08.520 --> 0:11:10.559 me and my girl cousin would get in trouble for 0:11:10.679 --> 0:11:13.679 laughing too loud, so our aunt would make us come 0:11:13.679 --> 0:11:16.960 in the living room. We'd fall asleep eventually, but every 0:11:17.000 --> 0:11:19.960 time we woke up her oldest son he'd be in 0:11:20.040 --> 0:11:24.439 between us. So after my kids got taken, I moved 0:11:24.480 --> 0:11:27.800 back and with the aunt that took me at three months. 0:11:28.120 --> 0:11:31.120 She'd let anyone crash at her spot. I had good 0:11:31.200 --> 0:11:33.840 days just as well as terrible ones. The aunt with 0:11:34.000 --> 0:11:36.320 my kids would come by to visit her sister, so 0:11:36.400 --> 0:11:39.560 I'd get to spend five minutes with the kids because 0:11:39.600 --> 0:11:42.320 she didn't stay long. And every time the kids see me, 0:11:42.440 --> 0:11:45.400 they come running calling me mommy, but my aunt be 0:11:45.480 --> 0:11:49.160 rolling her eyes. This the same lady died ten times 0:11:49.200 --> 0:11:52.880 from a heart attack in six goddamn and came back 0:11:52.880 --> 0:11:56.079 to life acting like a Christian. But she once told 0:11:56.080 --> 0:11:57.920 me I was going to be good for nothing but 0:11:58.040 --> 0:12:00.400 laying on my back, and she said she was going 0:12:00.440 --> 0:12:03.400 to haunt me if she was to ever die, which 0:12:03.440 --> 0:12:06.439 I felt like she's already dead because I have custody 0:12:06.520 --> 0:12:10.200 orders saying to get my kids on Mother's Day all 0:12:10.240 --> 0:12:13.559 major holidays. Last time I tried, which was about two 0:12:13.600 --> 0:12:16.480 weeks ago, I show up to our house. She had 0:12:16.559 --> 0:12:19.680 church music playing. I sat at her table, opened my 0:12:19.760 --> 0:12:23.000 folder with my court documents and a calendar to discuss 0:12:23.040 --> 0:12:26.440 the days. This lady just started yelling and telling the girls, 0:12:26.520 --> 0:12:28.240 tell your mama, you don't want to be with her, 0:12:28.600 --> 0:12:31.320 and they started crying. So I kissed my oldest and 0:12:31.400 --> 0:12:33.920 told her, Mama, finna leave. I don't got time for 0:12:34.000 --> 0:12:36.880 your auntie drama. Me and my girlfriend of three years 0:12:36.920 --> 0:12:40.120 moved to Florida in June of twenty twenty two, which 0:12:40.160 --> 0:12:43.520 is an hour away. They're in Alabama. It's like this 0:12:43.559 --> 0:12:46.200 woman didn't expect me to come for my children, and 0:12:46.240 --> 0:12:50.240 it's wild she's brainwashing them with mother in their right 0:12:50.320 --> 0:12:52.760 mind once their little girl's living on a couch with them, 0:12:53.120 --> 0:12:55.800 when God knows who's walking in and out all times 0:12:55.800 --> 0:12:58.520 of the night. It was times my car would break 0:12:58.520 --> 0:13:01.000 down and nobody would help me to get work done 0:13:01.040 --> 0:13:03.320 on it, and not even the ones living with me 0:13:03.600 --> 0:13:06.880 at the time because they were too busy or too sleepy. 0:13:07.440 --> 0:13:10.120 Then again I got in some mess back in twenty seventeen, 0:13:10.400 --> 0:13:13.199 so I asked my aunt would she get the kids 0:13:13.240 --> 0:13:15.920 because I didn't want neither dad having them because a 0:13:15.960 --> 0:13:18.600 lot was going on. Even though my case didn't come 0:13:18.679 --> 0:13:22.680 up until mid twenty twenty two. I'm in the process 0:13:22.720 --> 0:13:25.600 of handling that now with a lawyer because I have 0:13:25.679 --> 0:13:28.360 court next month, so I'm gonna work on the custody 0:13:28.400 --> 0:13:31.600 case right away when I get my chips straight. I've 0:13:31.600 --> 0:13:34.679 been at this hotel job for six months. I put 0:13:34.720 --> 0:13:37.880 a petition in stating she's not going by the court's order, 0:13:37.920 --> 0:13:40.200 she's not allowing me to see my children, and I 0:13:40.240 --> 0:13:42.200 feel like to take it a step even further to 0:13:42.320 --> 0:13:44.760 help my fight. I want to bring up her child 0:13:44.880 --> 0:13:48.480 touching me so bad, because honestly, I don't feel comfortable 0:13:48.520 --> 0:13:50.880 with my girls living there. What do you think about 0:13:50.880 --> 0:13:54.480 my mess? This is generational curse that needs to be broken. 0:13:55.120 --> 0:13:57.760 My grandmother caught Alzheimer's an O four, and the aunt 0:13:57.800 --> 0:14:01.080 that I was with at first all left me with her. 0:14:01.559 --> 0:14:04.160 We had a big household which belonged to my grandmother. 0:14:04.600 --> 0:14:08.480 My aunt just took over, moved my kids four hours away, 0:14:08.920 --> 0:14:11.120 and she never came to see her mom when she 0:14:11.240 --> 0:14:13.560 was sick because she was too busy taking care of 0:14:13.600 --> 0:14:17.480 somebody else's mom. I literally had to feed my grandmother meds, 0:14:17.559 --> 0:14:20.320 bathe her, feed her. Most of the time she would 0:14:20.360 --> 0:14:23.280 spit the meds out. One night, a man knocked on 0:14:23.320 --> 0:14:26.880 the door saying he see our grandmother walking toward the cemetery. 0:14:27.160 --> 0:14:29.440 We lived on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere. 0:14:29.720 --> 0:14:32.600 It took an hour to get to a store, plus 0:14:32.680 --> 0:14:35.920 I was barely in school. I had asthma bed so 0:14:36.040 --> 0:14:38.520 I was either in the hospital or home with my grandmother. 0:14:38.640 --> 0:14:40.640 As soon as my mom died, she was living with 0:14:40.720 --> 0:14:43.640 the aunt that has my kids now, her sister. I 0:14:43.720 --> 0:14:46.680 moved in months after that because I kept getting in trouble. 0:14:47.080 --> 0:14:49.520 Me and my younger cousin was fighting too much, so 0:14:49.560 --> 0:14:52.720 I said I wanted to leave, and once spring break came, 0:14:52.840 --> 0:14:55.520 I left. I get with the aunt that has my 0:14:55.600 --> 0:14:58.200 kids now, and she's never there. She's out in the 0:14:58.200 --> 0:15:00.680 streets coming home, falling on the floor, drunk as hell, 0:15:01.160 --> 0:15:03.960 and all kinds of stuff. She went Christian and really 0:15:03.960 --> 0:15:05.920 got worse. If you ask me, all she does is 0:15:06.000 --> 0:15:08.640 mumble under her breath. It's weird. I could go on 0:15:08.760 --> 0:15:13.200 and on. Girl you have. She's always saying I'm on drugs, 0:15:13.240 --> 0:15:15.760 and she labels it badly. All I do is smoke weed. 0:15:15.880 --> 0:15:18.680 She calls it dope. But I don't smoke dope because 0:15:18.720 --> 0:15:21.400 I know I'm gonna have to pay clean for my babies, 0:15:21.440 --> 0:15:26.280 so whenever the time comes, I'll be good. Okay. So, honey, child, 0:15:26.920 --> 0:15:29.880 you were ever reware, and I still don't even know 0:15:30.480 --> 0:15:33.880 exactly what your question is as to how I can 0:15:34.040 --> 0:15:36.680 help you. So I'm just going to try to assist 0:15:36.760 --> 0:15:41.800 you as best as I know how after reading that long, 0:15:41.840 --> 0:15:43.960 long story. Hold up, hold up, I know this shit 0:15:43.960 --> 0:15:46.200 getting good, But listen to just a couple seconds of 0:15:46.280 --> 0:15:50.120 a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen. So obviously, 0:15:50.280 --> 0:15:52.840 there are family issues, just like my girl in the 0:15:52.880 --> 0:15:56.840 first story, there are family issues there, and these scene 0:15:57.560 --> 0:16:01.680 a bit worse because it's like your family is not 0:16:01.720 --> 0:16:05.640 even a damn family like your aunts and your cousins, 0:16:05.760 --> 0:16:08.440 and you know, you being touched, and then you having 0:16:08.520 --> 0:16:12.760 to deal with the fact that this very same house 0:16:12.800 --> 0:16:14.760 that you grew up in and you were touched, and 0:16:15.200 --> 0:16:18.040 your kids are under the care of those same people. 0:16:18.720 --> 0:16:20.960 You know. So I can only imagine what you're going through, 0:16:21.200 --> 0:16:24.680 how it's making you feel as a parent. You feel helpless, 0:16:24.720 --> 0:16:27.800 you feel useless, You probably feel like you can't even 0:16:27.840 --> 0:16:30.360 help your children. And the fact that you did mention 0:16:30.480 --> 0:16:32.840 there at the end that you know you need your 0:16:32.880 --> 0:16:35.640 pe to be clean, your urine to be clean. I'm 0:16:35.640 --> 0:16:39.080 assuming your own probation, supervised, that is, and I don't 0:16:39.080 --> 0:16:42.000 know what your charges are. I don't care. You just 0:16:42.000 --> 0:16:43.600 need to get your children. You need to get yourself 0:16:43.640 --> 0:16:46.040 together so you can get your children, because it's some 0:16:46.080 --> 0:16:48.320 things going on with you as well. I'm not going 0:16:48.400 --> 0:16:53.040 to sit here and blame every single thing on your family. 0:16:53.080 --> 0:16:56.160 I'm not blaming anything on you either, because now what 0:16:56.520 --> 0:16:59.280 is blaming anyone going to do for anything right now? 0:16:59.560 --> 0:17:01.640 But there are issues that you have as well. There's 0:17:01.720 --> 0:17:04.560 trouble that I can tell that you are in and 0:17:04.640 --> 0:17:07.600 out of, not just that one time in twenty seventeen. 0:17:07.720 --> 0:17:12.040 There is a demons your fighting there are there seems 0:17:12.040 --> 0:17:14.280 like a dark cloud over your head wherever you go. 0:17:14.880 --> 0:17:17.560 I need for you to get yourself together and get 0:17:17.600 --> 0:17:22.760 your children. Your aunt seems to love your babies, but 0:17:22.840 --> 0:17:27.280 don't really have the best interest for you. I feel 0:17:27.280 --> 0:17:29.479 like she may be bitter and fed up with you. 0:17:29.600 --> 0:17:33.440 I think whatever you have done in the past, maybe 0:17:33.880 --> 0:17:38.320 in her eyes, you haven't taken life serious. You could 0:17:38.359 --> 0:17:40.720 have done more as a mother in her eyes. I 0:17:40.760 --> 0:17:42.880 feel like so she's kind of bitter toward you. She 0:17:42.960 --> 0:17:46.320 kind of maybe feels like you didn't do enough to 0:17:46.359 --> 0:17:49.760 get your children, you know, and a lot of people 0:17:49.760 --> 0:17:52.760 that take on other family members' children, they kind of 0:17:52.800 --> 0:17:56.800 start resenting whoever the biological parent is because I'm over 0:17:56.840 --> 0:18:00.760 here taking care of your child, your child in a 0:18:00.760 --> 0:18:03.399 lot of cases, not just one, it's children, multiple children 0:18:03.680 --> 0:18:05.760 being taken care of by a family member, and you 0:18:05.840 --> 0:18:07.600 out here just still on drugs. So you out here, 0:18:07.640 --> 0:18:09.400 just still doing what you're doing. You're just out here 0:18:09.600 --> 0:18:12.240 in the fucking streets, and shit, you're not even making 0:18:12.280 --> 0:18:15.760 an effort to better yourself. So you can show me 0:18:16.119 --> 0:18:18.320 that you at least are trying to get on your 0:18:18.320 --> 0:18:21.600 fucking feet within a timely fashion. Like you know, time 0:18:21.680 --> 0:18:24.400 is fucking ticking, and kids grow up. They don't get younger, 0:18:24.440 --> 0:18:28.359 they only get older. So you know, I know a 0:18:28.400 --> 0:18:30.800 part of your aunt is like, look, I raise my children, 0:18:30.880 --> 0:18:33.440 whether they're good boys or not, good boys, bad boys, 0:18:33.480 --> 0:18:36.639 good children. Whatever I raise my children, I'm doing you 0:18:36.680 --> 0:18:39.919 a favor, the due diligence of what a family should 0:18:40.080 --> 0:18:43.000 be at all times, because it takes a village, and 0:18:43.040 --> 0:18:45.520 she is head of your village because she has your 0:18:45.560 --> 0:18:48.480 children and has had your children for a while now. 0:18:48.520 --> 0:18:51.680 That's coming from her side. From your side. You need 0:18:51.680 --> 0:18:53.359 to get your children because you don't want them to 0:18:53.400 --> 0:18:55.720 go through the same thing you went through. No, you 0:18:55.760 --> 0:18:58.280 weren't brutally raped and all that, but you were touched 0:18:58.320 --> 0:19:01.159 and it could have gone that way. Your cousins smelling 0:19:01.200 --> 0:19:03.919 your panties and all that shit. And they're now older. 0:19:03.960 --> 0:19:06.479 This was when they were younger. Only god knows what 0:19:06.520 --> 0:19:09.240 the hell they are into now if they're still that way. 0:19:09.720 --> 0:19:11.479 Not saying that, but I'm only going off of what 0:19:11.520 --> 0:19:14.159 you told me when I'm in her thirties and the 0:19:14.160 --> 0:19:16.960 other one in the late twenties or what have you. Whatever, 0:19:17.760 --> 0:19:20.640 you need to get your children, get yourself together, get 0:19:20.640 --> 0:19:24.199 a job. I'm talking about, go through the courts, do 0:19:24.240 --> 0:19:27.560 it the right way. Don't fight your aunt. Don't try 0:19:27.600 --> 0:19:30.480 to reason with her. Don't. She's so angry and so 0:19:30.600 --> 0:19:34.040 bitter and so pissed off with you right now. You know, 0:19:34.160 --> 0:19:37.040 especially how you said the meeting when you went to go. 0:19:38.160 --> 0:19:39.840 You know, when she brought the kids over to the 0:19:39.840 --> 0:19:42.560 house for five minutes and she's telling the kids to 0:19:43.040 --> 0:19:44.919 tell your mother, y'all don't want to go with her 0:19:44.960 --> 0:19:47.919 and all that, and you know, your kids are only 0:19:47.960 --> 0:19:51.159 getting older. They're going to start seeing this and developing 0:19:51.200 --> 0:19:55.800 their own rendition of what family is in their minds, 0:19:55.840 --> 0:19:59.119 and it cannot be this. So you have to do 0:19:59.160 --> 0:20:01.240 what you have to do. Put on your big girl panties, 0:20:01.280 --> 0:20:04.359 get yourself together, go get your children, check back in 0:20:04.880 --> 0:20:07.040 all right, And if you haven't heard it in a while, 0:20:07.400 --> 0:20:09.479 I don't know you, but I love you. And just 0:20:09.520 --> 0:20:11.480 like that, we're gonna end this episode. We had two 0:20:12.240 --> 0:20:16.119 very painfully emotional stories, Oh my God, or should I 0:20:16.119 --> 0:20:19.760 say emotionally painful stories. I'm over here and between sets 0:20:19.800 --> 0:20:22.320 about the damn cry Jesus. Both of these women have 0:20:22.960 --> 0:20:27.040 gone through traumatic stress, a great deal of trauma and 0:20:27.080 --> 0:20:30.560 their families, and I'm praying for both of them, and 0:20:30.600 --> 0:20:33.080 y'all should do the same. Make sure you tune into 0:20:33.119 --> 0:20:35.960 co parenting therapy with Rome and just that's me a 0:20:35.960 --> 0:20:39.320 little baby daddy, as we're sitting down with other parents 0:20:39.320 --> 0:20:42.280 who are trying to create healthy environments for their children 0:20:42.520 --> 0:20:45.760 to grow up and to raise them amicably, move forward 0:20:45.840 --> 0:20:49.800 amicably without trying to be together, So that lives on YouTube, 0:20:49.800 --> 0:20:52.879