Speaker 1: Hello, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Alchemy.
Speaker 1: This it's me Chris Alvarado. I'm here, I'm hosting. I'm
Speaker 1: happy to be with my friends, and I'm happy to
Speaker 1: be with everyone who's listening. Speaking of my friends, let
Speaker 1: me introduce them to you in no particular order. Everybody,
Speaker 1: please say hello to James Haney. Hi, James, Hi, James
Speaker 1: at an airport. If the option is there, do you
Speaker 1: use the the moving walkways? Do you do you walk
Speaker 1: on those things, those little those little absolutely and if
Speaker 1: I can I walk or run on the moving walkway, Um,
Speaker 1: but I don't. I don't feel like people that are
Speaker 1: angry at people that are standing on the moving walkways
Speaker 1: are are sad human beings. I mean, part of the
Speaker 1: fun of it is just standing there and letting the
Speaker 1: robot do all the work. I do like to go faster.
Speaker 1: I so if there's room, I'm going to charge through.
Speaker 1: But I will never give a dirty look or tell
Speaker 1: some step of the way. I'll just be patient. Okay, Yeah,
Speaker 1: moving walk waste, All walk waste were moving. Now, please
Speaker 1: say hello to Caroline Connor, everybody, my favorite person. Hello Caroline.
Speaker 1: Did you enter any talent shows as a kid. You know,
Speaker 1: I think I did, but I think it was whatever
Speaker 1: I did was pretty bad. I remember. I don't know
Speaker 1: if other people, maybe specifically women, have this experience, but
Speaker 1: I would. You would do it like with a partner
Speaker 1: and you would like choreograph a dance. But it wasn't
Speaker 1: really cool, you know what I mean. It was just
Speaker 1: like a lot of like trying to like do pairs
Speaker 1: figure skating on dry land, but with the talents of
Speaker 1: like a third grader. Does that answer your question? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it does. It does because I was the kind about
Speaker 1: I think you have a lot of a lot of
Speaker 1: hidden talents that the world hasn't seen. Yeah, And if
Speaker 1: it's hidden and I'm not gonna do it, that's that's
Speaker 1: what I thought. That's why I keep them locked behind
Speaker 1: closed doors. I don'tbody say a lot of Jackie do
Speaker 1: Ruthie Jackie Jackie. Karaoke underrated, overrated, perfectly rated, perfectly rated.
Speaker 1: It's a good time. It's fun. It's fun to do.
Speaker 1: Um it's sometimes like fun to watch a little bit,
Speaker 1: but either way, it's a good time. Let me say this,
Speaker 1: my my my most prized karaoke memory is I went
Speaker 1: to the Brass Monkey which is one of the most
Speaker 1: you know, popular karaoke bars in uh in Kaytown here
Speaker 1: in Los Angeles. And but I went on the fourth
Speaker 1: of July in the afternoon, so no one was there
Speaker 1: except for me, Pat and then our two friends and
Speaker 1: then like two other people. So it was it was
Speaker 1: just so fun because everyone was just like so energized.
Speaker 1: But like we got to go up there a bunch
Speaker 1: of times, and I witnessed my two friends who used
Speaker 1: to be a couple. Sadly only sadly for this fact
Speaker 1: are they no longer because their bit was so funny
Speaker 1: and they and they would do this at karaoke, because
Speaker 1: I saw it more than once, but this is the
Speaker 1: first time. They would sing system of the Down, like
Speaker 1: so one of them is doing that part and the
Speaker 1: other one's doing do you want to? And it was
Speaker 1: so perfect. It was so perfect, and like one of
Speaker 1: them was really tall and the other was really short,
Speaker 1: and like everything about it was just like this is
Speaker 1: perfect karaoke. This is perfect. Thank you. Oh it's Mark Gagliardi. Everybody, Yes, Mark,
Speaker 1: When is the last time you swam in the ocean? Oh? Um?
Speaker 1: I think the last time, I said it probably would
Speaker 1: have been last summer. I have not gone out yet
Speaker 1: this year. Um. I go to the beach a lot,
Speaker 1: but I tend to just stay on the strand path,
Speaker 1: usually on my roller blades, and I don't want to
Speaker 1: get my rollerblades in the water. I roll old scott
Speaker 1: old school style. Um. But I do love getting in
Speaker 1: the ocean. H I go to get in the ocean
Speaker 1: a lot down where my dad lives in Florida. But
Speaker 1: the last time I was there there was a full
Speaker 1: algae bloom going on, and I was like, that's okay.
Speaker 1: I came for a trip. I'm gonna go get in
Speaker 1: the ocean. And then I would get out and I
Speaker 1: would look like swamp thing because I'm just covered in
Speaker 1: this like green du and I'm like, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I'm having a good time here in the water. Let's
Speaker 1: go to the restaurant on the beach. And then I
Speaker 1: don't let me in because I look like I look
Speaker 1: like the toxic avenger showing up for shrimp tide. Yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: I've moved from the Prince of Tides to the King
Speaker 1: of tides covered in the algae bloom. But I'm excited
Speaker 1: to go back out. I'm not the surfer that you
Speaker 1: are well but see, but the thing about me is
Speaker 1: that you don't get in the water when you serve.
Speaker 1: He just stays on top of the board. I said this.
Speaker 1: I said this once, and I think I probably even
Speaker 1: said it here. But I've said honestly to Jessica one time,
Speaker 1: and she tells everybody now that I said this. I
Speaker 1: said to her, the ocean doesn't call to me like
Speaker 1: I'm not like, I don't feel one with nature when
Speaker 1: I serve. A lot of people are like it's therapeutic.
Speaker 1: They feel like very like connected, and I don't. It's
Speaker 1: like it's cold, it's salty, it's gross, dirty um. But
Speaker 1: I sai, you know, very often, but the ocean doesn't
Speaker 1: call it smelling candles. Ocean smelling candles for are a lie? Yeah,
Speaker 1: doesn't smell like those candles all smell like time those candles. Well, James, No,
Speaker 1: James walks by the ocean very every every day. And
Speaker 1: I don't want to hijack this intro. But I also
Speaker 1: bought a wet suit and a surfboard and I'm going
Speaker 1: to start surfing on Monday. I know the time in
Speaker 1: the place. Are you coming on? I'm gonna first surf
Speaker 1: by myself before I come with the crew. I like
Speaker 1: to think that I like to think that you didn't
Speaker 1: buy like a surfing wet suit. You just bought a
Speaker 1: wet suit, so a surfboard, and we'll be in both
Speaker 1: of those on the water. It's gonna tie, James. Geez,
Speaker 1: that's a whole art. We gotta move on because I
Speaker 1: want to have a lot of questions and thoughts and concerns. Frankly, um,
Speaker 1: all right, last, but certainly not least. We all love him.
Speaker 1: Craig Kakowski. Everybody, Hi, Craig Kakowski, Hi Craig. Have you
Speaker 1: ever hit a home run? Metaphorically? No? No, literally, I'd
Speaker 1: like to think that metaphorically I have a few times,
Speaker 1: but no, no, When when would I have hit out? Run?
Speaker 1: You know? Literally? Did not play a little league? Um?
Speaker 1: I at one point I think I got persuaded to
Speaker 1: join a Chicago sixteen inch softball team. But I think,
Speaker 1: having not grown up playing baseball, like the the intricacies
Speaker 1: of base running and of defense are a lot more
Speaker 1: involved than you would think. You know. You think like
Speaker 1: you hit and then you run. You just run, you
Speaker 1: try to score, you know, but if there's other guys
Speaker 1: on the basis. Then there was a little like a
Speaker 1: strategy thing, and like it was quickly apparent like how
Speaker 1: a little prepared I was. That's why you get home
Speaker 1: runs any of that. That's true, right, So just hit
Speaker 1: it the funk out of the park. Then you don't
Speaker 1: have to worry about that, and you don't have to
Speaker 1: worry about it. Yeah, but no, no, And now I
Speaker 1: didn't realize until just now that that's my biggest regretting life,
Speaker 1: not getting a t ball homer. All right, that's with
Speaker 1: a bunch of a show. And as you know, all
Speaker 1: of today's suggestions come to us from listener emails. And
Speaker 1: if you want to have priority when it comes to
Speaker 1: us considering your suggestions, please join us at Patreon. Become
Speaker 1: a Patreon Patreon v I P and Alcamaniac. I always
Speaker 1: messed this part up because I don't read it. I
Speaker 1: should just be reading the thing. I'm just trying to
Speaker 1: go off, you know, And that's that's tough. But you
Speaker 1: know where to find this Patreon dot com, slash alchemy,
Speaker 1: this or We're always happy to take your suggestions the
Speaker 1: old timey way via email. You can email us at Alchemy.
Speaker 1: This email at gmail dot com that com okay seen
Speaker 1: one comes to us from Philip. Philip says, Hey, Alchemists,
Speaker 1: this is my all time favorite podcast. It is simply
Speaker 1: joy in audio form. I have a scene suggestion Arctic scavengers.
Speaker 1: I wish the absolute best and everything you do your
Speaker 1: fan for life, Philip. It's just that I feel like
Speaker 1: we would see something on the horizon that would fit
Speaker 1: the list of scavenger hunting, and there's obviously not a
Speaker 1: Volkswagen Boss. I feel like we've been I think we've
Speaker 1: been like pranked. I don't think we can do a
Speaker 1: scavenger hunt out here, and it's cold as hell. I
Speaker 1: think you have no faith. Ah, look out, look out
Speaker 1: through the windshield, look at the icy expanse in front
Speaker 1: of us. Everything on that list is out there somewhere.
Speaker 1: It just it's hard to even open my eyes. The
Speaker 1: sun is so bright on the snow. It's not see
Speaker 1: you forgot your sunglasses. I didn't think I needed. I
Speaker 1: thought it was dark all the time. Up here. It's white.
Speaker 1: Everything is white. Everything is white. It bounces, it reflects white.
Speaker 1: I'm just it's gonna be honest. I haven't been able
Speaker 1: to sleep. Since we come up here, the sun is
Speaker 1: always up. I think I want to get out of
Speaker 1: this this contest. There is no way out of the contest.
Speaker 1: Come on, come on, it was in this contest and
Speaker 1: we are not getting out of this contest. When this
Speaker 1: contest bared us up, I was worried. I was worried
Speaker 1: that you didn't have the stomach for it. I was
Speaker 1: worried that you didn't have what it took to stick
Speaker 1: a knife into a penguin and drink its blood if
Speaker 1: you needed to when you were Yeah, I didn't think
Speaker 1: you could do it. And you know what you did,
Speaker 1: didn't you? Just last night? You did it. So the
Speaker 1: things that you don't think you can do, you can do.
Speaker 1: Oh hey, what's up is? I'm just a road tripping
Speaker 1: across the Arctic here with my uh, with my bro.
Speaker 1: Do you guys know which way is north? We got
Speaker 1: a little turned around in our old little VW here. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're trying to go all the way to the tippy top. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: the problem is is this close to the pole, a
Speaker 1: compass doesn't work to well. So we've also we've also
Speaker 1: been lost. Uh anyway, so we're just gonna drive. Wait,
Speaker 1: a second. But wait one second, let me have just
Speaker 1: a quick private conversation with my with my friend. Okay,
Speaker 1: is that going to help you find the north direction? Whatever?
Speaker 1: What is it? Forget it? First of all, we are
Speaker 1: shot friends. What we are not friends? We are teammates.
Speaker 1: We were paired together. That does not make us friends. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, maybe we could have them join
Speaker 1: our team. Join our team? Are you nuts? Don't you
Speaker 1: think that these two are probably also on the scene.
Speaker 1: Scavenger hunt is us and this whole thing is just
Speaker 1: a ruse. Come on, which way is north? You're in
Speaker 1: the Arctic, that's right? Oh my god, Wow, welcome back
Speaker 1: to Arctic scavengers. And so far our four contestants are
Speaker 1: really off to a bumpy start, wouldn't you say? There,
Speaker 1: paul I, the polar bears are scattered throughout the grid.
Speaker 1: They have not run into any of them, luckily yet. Uh.
Speaker 1: You will be able to identify the bear by its
Speaker 1: distinctive black nose that will appear like a dot on
Speaker 1: the horizon. It will grow closer and closer, and before
Speaker 1: you know what, the bear is upon you. I do
Speaker 1: not wish that upon the contestants, but it is always
Speaker 1: a danger. Now, Paul, let me ask you a question
Speaker 1: that someone who spend a lot of time out there
Speaker 1: in the arctic. Uh, what do you think about Red
Speaker 1: team's move pulling up on Blue team to ask for directions?
Speaker 1: Will that be helpful out there in the tundra? I
Speaker 1: think that was a baller move. Absolutely. Uh and uh,
Speaker 1: I think the I think they've got the other team guessing. Um. Oh, ship,
Speaker 1: you know what I realized, I fucking I messed up, Bobby.
Speaker 1: I looked at look. I thought that our supplies list
Speaker 1: was our scavenger list. So it says v W bus.
Speaker 1: That's what we're driving in. I thought we had to
Speaker 1: find another v W bus. That's why I drove up
Speaker 1: to those fuckers. And so that's why partner I thought
Speaker 1: I found you. I was looking at the wrong list
Speaker 1: all the time. She was looking at the supplies list
Speaker 1: thinking it was our scavenging list, dude, And honestly, I'm
Speaker 1: not looking at any list at all, because your eyes
Speaker 1: are like an ocean that I want to stop. That's true,
Speaker 1: that's true. No, I said, there's one rule for this scavenger, hud,
Speaker 1: don't fall in love with me. Do you come into
Speaker 1: the Arctic and the only thing you can see is
Speaker 1: a white snow and ice, and then you look up
Speaker 1: and there are these gorgeous dark black eyes, almost like
Speaker 1: just one huge pupil. Well, yeah, I told you they
Speaker 1: severed by iris when I got eye surgery when I
Speaker 1: was six because of my double vision. And just like
Speaker 1: you sharing all of this stuff like from your past,
Speaker 1: like I just feel close to you. Listen, if you
Speaker 1: want to look for all this stuff like I'm down,
Speaker 1: I would go to the literal and if this earth
Speaker 1: was flat, I'd go to the end to jump off
Speaker 1: if it was possible. Romance with the Red Team, Now, Paul, well,
Speaker 1: in your experience, did you ever find love out there
Speaker 1: in the tundra? I tried many times, so always swung
Speaker 1: and missed. I never hit the proverbial home run. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: Now I wonder if their love can help them, or
Speaker 1: you know, a new love can help them stay alive
Speaker 1: out there. It could. I think both teams are gonna
Speaker 1: have a hard time coming up with some of these items.
Speaker 1: That Debbie Gibson kis single. I don't think that that's
Speaker 1: gonna be easy to find. Uh. The Fox scat, I
Speaker 1: think is going to be find a bowl. I think
Speaker 1: that's going to be out there, a pin up calendar
Speaker 1: with a picture of a Golden Retriever puppy. Again like
Speaker 1: the the odds or slim, But you know, we've crazier
Speaker 1: things have happened up here in Arctic scavengers, you know, Paul.
Speaker 1: One thing that is on the list that I know
Speaker 1: you found a couple of times are human remains. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you found that a couple of times. Yeah, And it
Speaker 1: kind of throws you off because you're you're obliged to
Speaker 1: stay there in honor the dead. Again, the polar bears
Speaker 1: are are just vicious when when they get to you.
Speaker 1: So now we go back to the Blue team. All right, Look,
Speaker 1: we've got almost everything on this list. We just have
Speaker 1: one more item to find. Huh. A Debbie Gibson kiss single.
Speaker 1: I think it's a type of I think it's a
Speaker 1: type of what could it possibly have meant if they
Speaker 1: wrote Debbie Gibson ca single, What could that have auto
Speaker 1: corrected from? I think it was just a cassette that
Speaker 1: is her singles. On one side it would be probably
Speaker 1: I don't know, I get lost in your eyes, and
Speaker 1: the other side would probably be whatever other really popular
Speaker 1: Debbie Gibson song there is. I'm beginning to think my
Speaker 1: partner doesn't know Debbie Gibson. I don't, maybe I don't.
Speaker 1: Didn't she have like electric buggaloo or what was it ecogaloo.
Speaker 1: I will throw you out in the snow. Please don't.
Speaker 1: It's cold out there. I can't go back out in
Speaker 1: the snow. Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be
Speaker 1: harsh with you. It's just when you're staring so long
Speaker 1: out into the vast expanse and then suddenly or once
Speaker 1: again staring into a pair of eyes, beauty full, beautiful
Speaker 1: blue eyes where the the pupil feels just the right
Speaker 1: amount of the eye. Wait, are you talking about my eyes? Yeah, yes, stinker,
Speaker 1: I assure him. Oh my god, yea, thank you. I'm
Speaker 1: sorry I've been so gruff. Look, we just need to
Speaker 1: find this single and get out of this goddamn tundra. Okay, um,
Speaker 1: this is uh crazy, crazy request. I know you're like
Speaker 1: the only vintage store up here in the Arctic, but
Speaker 1: my partner and I are looking for kind of like
Speaker 1: a poster of like a sexy dog, like a pin up,
Speaker 1: a sexy looking dog like in like a you know,
Speaker 1: like a Rosie the Riveter outfit, but not looking strong
Speaker 1: and not a woman. It has to be a dog,
Speaker 1: specifically a Golden Retriever. Are you looking for sexy dog stuff?
Speaker 1: Come right this way. Sorry, I don't feel comfortable coming
Speaker 1: following you, and I don't feel comfortable following you anywhere.
Speaker 1: I'll bring it. I'll bring it out to you that okay,
Speaker 1: here we go. No, this is um my own personal
Speaker 1: polaroid collection of dogs I have found attractive. No, I
Speaker 1: don't do you know what a poster is. It's like, yes,
Speaker 1: so usually at least um, at a minimum, I would
Speaker 1: say it's like an eight by ten at a minimum. Okay,
Speaker 1: so at least yeah, okay, keep talking. And what else?
Speaker 1: What needs to be on the picture? Well, like we said,
Speaker 1: we're looking for a sexy dog, sexy dog in particularly,
Speaker 1: I got good news and bad news for you. I
Speaker 1: have a pin up of a Golden Retriever, but unfortunately
Speaker 1: it's not terribly attractive. Oh my god, No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: that's a picture of a Golden Retriever pinned up. Yeah.
Speaker 1: That is just dude, This is that you know nine
Speaker 1: one waters scr all right, don't don't put me the
Speaker 1: name on one. Okay, okay, Look, I can help you out.
Speaker 1: I can help you out. How this is the last
Speaker 1: thing we need? Well, the shop right next door to mine.
Speaker 1: It looks close, it looks closed, but it's open. It
Speaker 1: looks like an igglue. Nobody's home, someone's home. It's it's
Speaker 1: at a poster shop, specifically posters. Well, it's hot. What
Speaker 1: do you think should we do it? I mean, this
Speaker 1: guy freaks me out, and I know statistically this all
Speaker 1: signs point to we're gonna get got. Yeah. If I
Speaker 1: got to get god, I want to get caught with
Speaker 1: you stop it? Well, yeah, sure, we definitely have the
Speaker 1: We've got a sexy golden retriever. Oh it's awesome. Sorry
Speaker 1: that I'm just taken him back. This this place is
Speaker 1: so big on the inside. On the outside it looks
Speaker 1: just like small but wow, it looks like a doghouse
Speaker 1: on the outside. On the inside looks like you're you're
Speaker 1: on vintage row. You know it's this. This is the
Speaker 1: area that everyone comes for for resales shops. And I've
Speaker 1: I've been trying to unload this Tiffany kissingle. Oh which one? Well,
Speaker 1: it's uh, I saw him standing there. Yeah, backed with
Speaker 1: um the the other big Tiffany hit. It's a little faded. Oh,
Speaker 1: it's a little faded. Yeah. We don't really have a
Speaker 1: lot of cash, kind of just for the poster we need.
Speaker 1: But if you want to unload that, we'll take it. Well,
Speaker 1: I do do trades. Okay, we got some extra fox shit. Um,
Speaker 1: he found a lot of fox shit. And that was
Speaker 1: after I took a ship and cut my shot. Gas
Speaker 1: stations usually have audio books on tape. I mean, who
Speaker 1: listens to audio. Look, I'm sure Debby Gibson's popular down here.
Speaker 1: Look you are. I have faith in you. I think
Speaker 1: you can do it. Yeah. Yeah, so go in there, hunt.
Speaker 1: You see what they have, and if they don't have it,
Speaker 1: then you know you and I are gonna be okay. Okay, Hey,
Speaker 1: before you go in there, I'll miss you. Oh sorry,
Speaker 1: I thought I'm sorry that I can do this. Hey,
Speaker 1: before you go in there. Yeah. I also just wanted
Speaker 1: to say, um, I'm really glad. I'm really glad the
Speaker 1: game paired us up like this. Me too. You know what,
Speaker 1: I don't think I could have split that panquin open.
Speaker 1: I could have never worn his little sleeves like a jacket.
Speaker 1: Unless I had you, and I would, I would have
Speaker 1: never known the meaning of being with another person after
Speaker 1: so many years up here in the wilderness. Now you
Speaker 1: go on in there and you see if he's got
Speaker 1: a Debbie Gibson ki single. Hey, hey, I'm gonna stop
Speaker 1: you right there, you two you might recognize me. I'm sad,
Speaker 1: this is Paul. You're the host of this Discharging Scavengers.
Speaker 1: Please let me how to hear you know, we want
Speaker 1: to let you know that the Red Team is right
Speaker 1: over there in that igloo. That's right, and uh well,
Speaker 1: the true search of this show was for connection. Wait
Speaker 1: a minute, the items were just you know, not that's important.
Speaker 1: But the million dollars we still will get. It's just right, Paul,
Speaker 1: Paul goddamn bear slashed me open. Oh my god. And
Speaker 1: that scene one see two comes to us from Alchemy
Speaker 1: v I p Robert Williams. Robert says, and I love
Speaker 1: when we get these. Hey, y'all, maybe this scene suggestion
Speaker 1: is good enough for the queue since the other two weren't.
Speaker 1: Not that I'm that bothered by it, but you know,
Speaker 1: I do pay for the privilege. I think that's look
Speaker 1: you we we consider these, all these suggestions. You know
Speaker 1: what I mean, you move up in the queue. You
Speaker 1: don't just get to say whatever you want. But I
Speaker 1: know already if this is the one you picked, that
Speaker 1: it's fucking ye three. This is the one. Robert Williams
Speaker 1: his suggestion on strike at the paper clip factory. He says,
Speaker 1: he says, love you all. Well, I'm not gonna do
Speaker 1: this anymore for bullshit wages. I don't need to. I
Speaker 1: don't need the money that bad. I agree, let's let's
Speaker 1: let's quit. I don't. I don't know if quitting is
Speaker 1: really what I want to do. I kind of want
Speaker 1: to have a temporary hold on my position here. But
Speaker 1: if we can get a whole bunch of other people
Speaker 1: to temporarily not work, we could maybe bargain for you know,
Speaker 1: running water at the fountains instead of whatever that is
Speaker 1: supposed to be that comes out of the phone and
Speaker 1: it looks like sludge. These conditions are terrible. I'd work
Speaker 1: for better money, better all right, you got time to quip,
Speaker 1: you got time to clip? Okay, Um, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm sorry, I'm gonna make a big announcement
Speaker 1: for me. It's fine, it's fine. I think they got
Speaker 1: my back. Me, Benjamin, not gonna work anymore until conditions
Speaker 1: at this factory are better. Who's with me? Who's with it?
Speaker 1: It sounds like no, but he is with you, Benjamin.
Speaker 1: So you know what, you don't get a sludge break today?
Speaker 1: Sludge break for you? I need something. I can't just
Speaker 1: keep working. I sweat when it's it's so hot in here.
Speaker 1: Everybody else did? This is your time to get some
Speaker 1: piping hot sludge? Where were you? Why didn't you get up? Well,
Speaker 1: that was an awful plan. That wasn't you had no
Speaker 1: You had no plan. And you know, Big paper Clip
Speaker 1: is not gonna look kindly on someone just saying they
Speaker 1: want to break with no plan. Paper Clips are all
Speaker 1: about having a good plan. If you would have stood up,
Speaker 1: everybody here likes you. You're popularity. How do you say,
Speaker 1: how do you think I stayed miss popularity? It's by
Speaker 1: doing what's cool, and you know it's not cool standing
Speaker 1: up for what you believe in. Okay, I'm serious. People
Speaker 1: don't um excuse me, big paper clip? Um? Yeah, what
Speaker 1: what is it? Tony? Um? It's Tommy sir. Um. I
Speaker 1: don't need to know your fucking name. I'm sorry, big
Speaker 1: paper clip. Um, it's just that there are there are
Speaker 1: there are rumblings, um among the underlings on the factory floor, sir,
Speaker 1: rumblings among the younglings. Yes, yes, sir, there there. Well
Speaker 1: tell me more. Do you remember do you remember last week,
Speaker 1: right around sludge break time, when um I think his
Speaker 1: name was Benjamin stood up and said that he wasn't
Speaker 1: going to take it anymore. Yeah, yeah, his Norma Ray moment. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it seems like other people have kind of latched onto
Speaker 1: that Norma Ray moment and there's a bit of a
Speaker 1: ground swell. Sir. I'm like, a what ut latched on?
Speaker 1: Like like I don't know, like they fastened themselves to
Speaker 1: the idea of of a of potentially a work stoppage, sir,
Speaker 1: a work stoppage. Yeah, no, I didn't. I didn't mean
Speaker 1: interrupt placed on hip and we've got to crank out
Speaker 1: paper clips at faster rate? Is that the demand for
Speaker 1: paper clips is crazy? Look, I I understand, sir, but
Speaker 1: but but if if we overworked the workers, then there's
Speaker 1: there's there's not going to be any paper clips getting
Speaker 1: made at all if they stop the work, Sir, do
Speaker 1: you understand, all right, what what do you propose I do, Tony?
Speaker 1: I propose, uh, I propose I don't know, starts smaller
Speaker 1: pizza in a movie night. Maybe something to show the
Speaker 1: people that you really care. Pizza in a movie. You
Speaker 1: know what. My my, my, my, my, my uncle. He
Speaker 1: works at the stable factory. Actually, he says. He says,
Speaker 1: they got snacks. He says, they got they got they
Speaker 1: got coffees. He says, the god they got. They got
Speaker 1: a cigarettes. He says, the god they got, they got
Speaker 1: a roll ups. He says, they got out, they got,
Speaker 1: they got up. Well, we don't have any of that stuff.
Speaker 1: You have sludge dripping out of your mouth. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Thank you for noticing. Oh it was hard. Well I
Speaker 1: noticed too. For noticing. It feels nice that somebody noticed
Speaker 1: it was. I wasn't trying to do anything. I just
Speaker 1: you looked weird with it. Now, I don't know, I
Speaker 1: look significantly better as what you're saying. You're putting words
Speaker 1: in my mouth. I don't mean to do that. I
Speaker 1: put sludge in my mouth. I put nothing in your mouth. Okay,
Speaker 1: So a team works over at the staple fact. Yeah,
Speaker 1: when we hold hands, I tell you a little bit
Speaker 1: more about this. I don't really feel comfortable. Are you
Speaker 1: very palmy like? And I will say though also I
Speaker 1: don't want to make it weird, but your ratio of
Speaker 1: finger to palm on your hands is unlike anything I've
Speaker 1: ever seen. One knuckle, it's like one n It's like,
Speaker 1: that's why I can't work at that at the stable factory.
Speaker 1: Isn't that I would think? And this is just what
Speaker 1: I've heard because my connection is I have connections to everywhere,
Speaker 1: as you guys are really popular, so I have friends
Speaker 1: at the stable factory too. I think it's easier over
Speaker 1: the stable factory because there's only two um edges on
Speaker 1: the stable. Two bends, thank you, and paper clips. It's
Speaker 1: not even a ninety degree angle we have. It's harder
Speaker 1: because it's circular and we have to do multiple all right,
Speaker 1: all right, all right, you got time to be friends.
Speaker 1: You got time to bend paper clips, big paper clip.
Speaker 1: Oh I know that I'm just a little paper clip
Speaker 1: and I'm supposed to do your bidding and set up
Speaker 1: the piece of movie night. But I got a job
Speaker 1: offer over at Microsoft. They be bouncing around and given instructions,
Speaker 1: and you know, I like to perform. Oh, I can't
Speaker 1: lose your little paper clip. You're the only person who
Speaker 1: gets this place. Well that's good to hear, because i
Speaker 1: haven't felt appreciated at all, and I've got talents, you know,
Speaker 1: I've got real performer performing aspects of of my soul
Speaker 1: that need a good out there. And Microsoft is offering
Speaker 1: me that. Well, what kind of money they offering money?
Speaker 1: They told me snacks, big time snacks. I mean Jared
Speaker 1: Deli chocolate. I mean, we're talking big time and they
Speaker 1: were gonna give me alright, board, Microsoft, board, everybody gather
Speaker 1: around to gather around to introduce you to one of
Speaker 1: our newest members of the team. It's a little create
Speaker 1: you know what. I don't need to talk about this
Speaker 1: little paper clip. Come on out here. Huh look at
Speaker 1: this everybody. That's Yeah, that's the way you go. You
Speaker 1: go girl, Yeah, okay, okay, don't stop, get up on
Speaker 1: the table. Go ahead, keep going, shake shake it, shake
Speaker 1: chackena stack jacken, butterfly ending pose, keep going, keep going,
Speaker 1: keep going, keep going, Because I just hit the end
Speaker 1: of actually pretty good. Yeah, free style, like a freestyle,
Speaker 1: but that was not what do we think? I like it?
Speaker 1: But or her. Excuse me, but a little paper clip.
Speaker 1: It doesn't exactly roll off the tongue. Um so, and
Speaker 1: I don't want that to tie us too much to
Speaker 1: big paper clip, which is where you're from. If I'm
Speaker 1: not mistaken, he's my uncle. I see the family resemblance.
Speaker 1: Um some people think that he's actually my about paper clippy?
Speaker 1: Wait what I never met my dad, And some people
Speaker 1: think that my mom. That's sex with my own but
Speaker 1: then said lied and said that baby her husband. Okay,
Speaker 1: no business. I just feel like, alright, guys, my my
Speaker 1: office assistant has left to become Microsoft's office assistant. Why
Speaker 1: are you crying? No tips, no clips, no tips, no
Speaker 1: all right. Look, hey, we're gonna do pizza in a
Speaker 1: movie night, just like you asked. What movie? Okay, We're
Speaker 1: gonna do Lars von Trier's two thousand musical spectacular Dancer
Speaker 1: in the Dark starring York Yeah, okay, good. I was worried,
Speaker 1: but that might not go over well. But where pizza
Speaker 1: is Dakota style pizza? Yea yeah, straight shipped into Sioux Falls. Hey,
Speaker 1: co worker, I forgot your name, but I was thinking
Speaker 1: it was pretty something. It was something special when you
Speaker 1: and I both both like that same movie, and then
Speaker 1: we we large FRONTRAI is my favorite director of all time.
Speaker 1: My mine too. And then and then well we we
Speaker 1: both liked that same Pizza Detroit. Yeah me too, style,
Speaker 1: Dakota style, Yeah me too. You ever seen that movie
Speaker 1: where um Anti Christ? Is that the one? I love
Speaker 1: that film. It's so good, sounds religious. No, really, it's
Speaker 1: it's just by the same director, I think. And what
Speaker 1: about that one where it's they hired sex people to
Speaker 1: have sex but then they see g I the actors
Speaker 1: faces on them. I love that one too, It's so funny.
Speaker 1: So I guess we we got our job. We got
Speaker 1: everything we wanted, didn't we. Yeah? Oh, I thought you
Speaker 1: wanted to talk about movies with me. I thought it
Speaker 1: over here. I'm a bit of a movie buff. I
Speaker 1: don't know if you can tell Well, see, I'll see
Speaker 1: you at movie night. Then is at the end of
Speaker 1: the conversation, big paper clip, Hey little buddy, listen. I
Speaker 1: know I I disappointed you. I know I betrayed you,
Speaker 1: but you went for that Silicon Valley money. Oh god,
Speaker 1: I'm exhausted. I mean, they won't let me stop dancing,
Speaker 1: and I love to do it, but my god, I
Speaker 1: need a break. They will, Yeah, I think that they
Speaker 1: might be. It sounds like they're getting off on it
Speaker 1: like sick purves, the only kind of perves there are. Right,
Speaker 1: it was so smart and I should have listened to you.
Speaker 1: I should have never try to go cal North, California.
Speaker 1: Little clippy, little little look clip, get in here, get
Speaker 1: in here. Yeah, you've been doing a great job. You
Speaker 1: know that. Thank you. We're doing a great job. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I feel like it could be doing better if I
Speaker 1: had some rest. I agree. Well, I don't know about that.
Speaker 1: Maybe we can switch it up a little bit, don't you.
Speaker 1: Would you unbend a little bits, stretch, relax, unbend a
Speaker 1: little bit. That can be like a painful process. Let
Speaker 1: me help, let me help, let me help you out here. Man,
Speaker 1: hey man, hey man, what's the issue? The issues are
Speaker 1: your hands on my coopy body? Okay, Oh, nervous that
Speaker 1: my little floating eyeballs are going to pop right off,
Speaker 1: so please just just don't just don't alright, alright, alright, yeah,
Speaker 1: I only feel comfortable with a paper touch, paper, touch. Yeah,
Speaker 1: listen again, if you want me to stay here, I
Speaker 1: need some breaks. I'm gonna be unionizing with myself. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be unionizing with myself breaks or I'm gonna I'm
Speaker 1: gonna strike. Oh I had a feeling i'd see little
Speaker 1: clip in here. Uh oh God, I don't know if
Speaker 1: you knew this, but you're working here for Microsoft because
Speaker 1: we're going to make your species obsolete. Else please, like,
Speaker 1: what would you do that? Because paper isn't needed in
Speaker 1: the virtual world. What the hell are you gonna clip together,
Speaker 1: idiot on your fingernails. I can open the sit card
Speaker 1: part of a cell phone own. I mean you need
Speaker 1: a small, strong, little cylinder that can easily fit. I
Speaker 1: could clean computer. We have backs of ear rings and
Speaker 1: tax for that. And you will wound up and stretched
Speaker 1: out like a little paper clip, not even willing to
Speaker 1: unbend for a nice old gentleman there. God, God, please,
Speaker 1: I'm sticking to my I'm sticking to my laurels, my laurel,
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna not even I'm gonna not even. I'm
Speaker 1: resting on him and I'm sticking on him. Not. If
Speaker 1: we digitize you, we're gonna turn you by an aries
Speaker 1: zero one zero zero one. Okay, guys, little paper clips
Speaker 1: not gonna be back. Oh, but tonight's movie is large
Speaker 1: Fontiers Nymphomaniac. Scene three comes to us from Alchemy v
Speaker 1: I p. Roberts. He says, Hey, James, glad to hear
Speaker 1: you will be reading these from now on. I know
Speaker 1: Kevin said you guys don't need more suggestions, but I
Speaker 1: had to get this one on paper because I felt
Speaker 1: it was my best idea for scenes since I started
Speaker 1: listening back in two thousand nine. I'd also love to
Speaker 1: get a plug in for Caroline's podcast Stinkers, truly one
Speaker 1: of my favorite podcasts in years. There's also Joey's new
Speaker 1: audio book, The Which of West Oak very funny any
Speaker 1: Alchemy this fan would find these things funny as well.
Speaker 1: I love seeing you all find success, and I'm rooting
Speaker 1: for you. What a good dude suggestion New York water
Speaker 1: smuggling ring mm hmmm. You know the pizza in l
Speaker 1: A just doesn't taste the same. You know what it is.
Speaker 1: It's the water water. No, I have a so I
Speaker 1: grew up in Queen's first of all, and ever since
Speaker 1: here like the bagels are not the same, the pizzas
Speaker 1: and not the same. I know you've said that for
Speaker 1: so long, and then I took that trip to New York,
Speaker 1: and now I realize you're right, it's different here. It's
Speaker 1: the water. It's the water. Is it a soft water
Speaker 1: hardwater thing? Is it a calcium thing? What is it
Speaker 1: that makes it so much better in New York? Hey,
Speaker 1: it's in New York water, you know. And uh, it's
Speaker 1: just the fact that it's from New York is what
Speaker 1: makes it better. Sorry, do you either of you have
Speaker 1: any books to check out? That's what this line is for.
Speaker 1: Oh oh gosh, let me go grab some. You don't, okay, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm used to. Uh, I'm used to go into the
Speaker 1: New York Public Library with the famous lions statues, Ghostbuster's Library.
Speaker 1: I love library exactly. This is of the Los Angeles
Speaker 1: Public Library in downtown Los Angeles, and it operates pretty
Speaker 1: much exactly the same. Um. Yeah, I don't know. It
Speaker 1: just feels a little more, you know, superficial. You know,
Speaker 1: it just feels very l a here. You know, it's
Speaker 1: it's not you, it's not New York. Okay, okay, not
Speaker 1: a problem. Excuse me, I like to return this book. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: thank you? And and and can I just say I
Speaker 1: don't think you should carry the Divergence series here anymore. Um,
Speaker 1: thank you for your feedback. Man will take that into consideration.
Speaker 1: You think about how violent these little teens get. They
Speaker 1: get very, very violent. It's fiction, and if you look
Speaker 1: at some of the greatest works of fiction, you'll find
Speaker 1: that there is quite a lot of violence in in them.
Speaker 1: This teen girls getting her ass beat by a bunch
Speaker 1: of older men. And we're saying that that's good, that's
Speaker 1: good entertainment, and I'm rooting for these guys. Um. I
Speaker 1: don't know how you read the book. That's not how
Speaker 1: I remember. I think it was all the teens kind
Speaker 1: of fighting against each other right now, and it's a
Speaker 1: lot of I mean, there's I mean, this girl's getting
Speaker 1: beat by a lot of men. Excuse me, h. I
Speaker 1: heard you guys talking about New York water and how
Speaker 1: these are typically better in New York. Yeah, things are so.
Speaker 1: He's always says things are better in New York. He's not.
Speaker 1: It's just a fact. Hey, don't you want you meet
Speaker 1: me outside? I got a little proposition for you guys.
Speaker 1: You know, I liked this book series better when it
Speaker 1: took place if it took place in New York. I
Speaker 1: heard you talking about the Divergent series. I'm talking about
Speaker 1: it takes place in dystopian Chicago. What the hell did
Speaker 1: a little rewrite? I did a little rewrite of it.
Speaker 1: So this, this change is probably a lot of the
Speaker 1: problems you might have with the Divergent series. Check out
Speaker 1: my first one. Okay, it takes place, it takes place
Speaker 1: in New York State. It's not the same, and there's
Speaker 1: there's no violence in it. It's really good. Takes Do
Speaker 1: I get three weeks for this? Or I don't understand
Speaker 1: why we have to stand on the yellow line? You
Speaker 1: said meet you outside, but we are standing in the
Speaker 1: middle of the street. This feels unsafe. Are we standing up?
Speaker 1: What are we standing? Online? Okay? Because tell me, tell
Speaker 1: me what are you feeling right now? What are you feeling?
Speaker 1: Cars around us? Can we please get over to the
Speaker 1: sidewalk and where else? Our car is always around you
Speaker 1: when I don't know, not like this, probably in New York,
Speaker 1: in New York City, am I right? Yeah? Yeah, but
Speaker 1: it's it's not the same. It's not the same. Okay, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: come on over to be like taxis. I know, I
Speaker 1: would just want to give you a feeling. I know,
Speaker 1: I know, seems hot. That was very scary. I open
Speaker 1: my trunk, ups, give me one sec. You want to
Speaker 1: talk about hot New York? New York in the summer
Speaker 1: gets hot, it gets hot like this. This is this
Speaker 1: is like mild and pleasant all the time. It's it's
Speaker 1: been looking his trunk. Hmm. See that New York water.
Speaker 1: That's the distinctive look of New York water. That just
Speaker 1: looks like water to me. I don't know, so he
Speaker 1: gets it. Are you from? Are you from? What? Are you? Freeens? Oh?
Speaker 1: Queen's I'm a Queen's guy, Wall, I'm Queen's. Well, my
Speaker 1: mom's from queens a Storia. Okay, okay, your mom my
Speaker 1: mom my mom? And of course, hey respect respect respect.
Speaker 1: Oh boy, oh boy? What what a what an intersection?
Speaker 1: I just a section right, come on, come on, forget
Speaker 1: about it, come on, oh ship. Hi, um, gentlemen, I'm
Speaker 1: just hi. I just thought I heard some New York
Speaker 1: accents um, and I thought I smelled something that smells
Speaker 1: a little bit to me like ship. What do you
Speaker 1: think I could be talking about New York water? Well,
Speaker 1: first of all, what you say New York accent? That's
Speaker 1: very vague like what it would you know? What borrow
Speaker 1: are you referring to me? We're training specifically to Queens
Speaker 1: a queen's accent someone or on third and five is
Speaker 1: what I thought I heard? All right, story, Yeah, you're
Speaker 1: a real Henry Higgins with your specificity of your accent recognition. Well,
Speaker 1: let me tell you something I'll never forget. Because my
Speaker 1: partner was killed by a guy, a sucker from Queens.
Speaker 1: He was My partner was l A born l A cop.
Speaker 1: Is that a thing? Can you be born in l A? Hey?
Speaker 1: I'm sorry for tracking you down at your house, your
Speaker 1: your your rental is not up yet, but I was
Speaker 1: wondering if how you are enjoying the new Divergent series.
Speaker 1: It kind of it's different. I'm going to be honest
Speaker 1: with you. I made now. If this is wrong or illegal,
Speaker 1: or I've i've met. If this is bad for you,
Speaker 1: you let me know. But I've actually made six copies
Speaker 1: of your book and I circulated it with my book club.
Speaker 1: Now none of us are done with it, but we're
Speaker 1: meeting in a week and a half and if you
Speaker 1: can get these ladies hooked. Now, I've only read the
Speaker 1: first three chapters and so far, it's the least sexy
Speaker 1: book I've ever read. Oh God, it's my husband. Listen,
Speaker 1: he's from Queens. Just you've got to get out of here.
Speaker 1: He's very Okay. If you need any other books I've got,
Speaker 1: I've got just about every popular book you can imagine
Speaker 1: where all the violets, all the sex has been taken
Speaker 1: out of place here, I've followed you home. Okay, you
Speaker 1: know what, Actually, no sex cana go over here like
Speaker 1: a fucking metro station. All right, he's tall. He's so
Speaker 1: tall he can fold the Chicago style pizza. Can you
Speaker 1: believe that? That's how strong and tall he is. He
Speaker 1: can fold anything. Um, Laura, I have something really messed
Speaker 1: up to tell you, but it's just something i've noticed.
Speaker 1: Thank you for meeting me here at this juice shop. Um,
Speaker 1: I don't think your husband is from Queens. Calls a lion, Yeah,
Speaker 1: basically because he says weird things like the metro station.
Speaker 1: When referring to the subway system, he called it the
Speaker 1: Windy City, which is Chicago and not New York. Ok,
Speaker 1: the Big Apple. And he said that the best sports
Speaker 1: team he loves from New York are the the Miami dolphins.
Speaker 1: You're out of control. No, his favorite song is is
Speaker 1: New York, New York That wonderful time. That's well, Vince,
Speaker 1: what do you mean it doesn't taste like a New
Speaker 1: York pizza. We used that water from that man's trunk
Speaker 1: and he said he was from Queens. I think we
Speaker 1: got I think we got ripped off. You're from New York,
Speaker 1: you can't get Look, I am as easy to rip
Speaker 1: us off, but you're supposed to be unrip offable. It
Speaker 1: just doesn't taste right. And I am here today with
Speaker 1: the owners of the New York style pizza shop interviewing
Speaker 1: them for their UM store opening today. How are you
Speaker 1: guys feeling? How are you feeling for the first official Yeah? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: great and authentic? Authentic? Yes? And and um, if I
Speaker 1: heard correctly, you got this water legally imported from New
Speaker 1: York City? Is that true? Yeah? Yeah? Where are you from?
Speaker 1: By the way, what did you grow I'm from l A.
Speaker 1: Well not, I'm from Chicago. Um and yeah, it's a
Speaker 1: long story. Okay, So you're not somebody with a strong
Speaker 1: sense of place like a New Yorker? Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think I think this pizza will suffice. Then well,
Speaker 1: I'm babe, baby, wake up. That new that new pizza
Speaker 1: place is openy. I wanna it's from my hometown. I
Speaker 1: want to go. I want to can't get nap. You
Speaker 1: can't have your mid mid evening nap. I want I
Speaker 1: want to go grab a slice. Sorry, I just got
Speaker 1: some nauseous. I had to close my eyes. Those headaches again.
Speaker 1: Can you believe it? The doctor next you know, ahead,
Speaker 1: I was just gonna say. The doctor said I was
Speaker 1: gonna have no true side effects from my new colonic
Speaker 1: and now here I am just getting these micraines that
Speaker 1: are manifesting in nausea. Slice, baby, you need a slice
Speaker 1: of pie from my hometown. I've been telling you about
Speaker 1: this for a long time. That's right. And uh, your
Speaker 1: hometown is U seventy seven and two. It's different, it's different.
Speaker 1: It's it's different than here. Baby. Over here, you got
Speaker 1: last year fair facts over there. Look look my best
Speaker 1: friend he grew up onto and nointh you know North.
Speaker 1: What's your favorite I mean, listen, I'm not I'm not
Speaker 1: saying anything. It's just what you need. What do you need?
Speaker 1: What's your favorite Alicia Keys song? You know I don't
Speaker 1: listen to piano music. Baby, So next question, next question,
Speaker 1: next question. Listen to the piano makes me feel weird? Yeah,
Speaker 1: you need anymore? Um, let's get a slice. Let's let's
Speaker 1: go get a slice. Okay, you and me, are you shure?
Speaker 1: Just farting through this straw into this bottle of water
Speaker 1: is working? And they really fallen for this? Being New
Speaker 1: York water, I feel like they're gonna know it's just
Speaker 1: fart water. So where are you from? Exactly? I'm from
Speaker 1: just outside of New York City in New Jersey. Can
Speaker 1: you tell by my accident? I can't. I can't wait. Boss,
Speaker 1: do you want us to keep eating these beans too?
Speaker 1: Fart into the water? Keep beating the beans? Okay, by
Speaker 1: the way, I'm from the same well. Wow, wow, Look
Speaker 1: who it is. Look who came for a slice? Hey
Speaker 1: it's my water hook up guy. Hey, hey, this is
Speaker 1: my this is my wife. Here are you doing? She's
Speaker 1: not from she's not from the city, you know? And
Speaker 1: you are? You are from the city. I uh, we
Speaker 1: established where we are from. Well, my mom, my mom,
Speaker 1: you know, so your mom's from my story? Yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah me, I grew up on the I know by
Speaker 1: the one of those things called your stores over there there,
Speaker 1: like look store, but the boda boy grew up. You
Speaker 1: grew up by the bodega. Okay, yeah yeah. So anyway,
Speaker 1: so my wife here, she's never had a true stace
Speaker 1: to meet you. I'm from Riverside, California. I just talked
Speaker 1: like this because I got a speech impediment. Okay, that's
Speaker 1: all right, And I just didn't want any questions. I
Speaker 1: didn't want any of that. But I'm excited to try
Speaker 1: a slice because my my book club absolutely devours pizza.
Speaker 1: I gets their job. We barely even get to talk
Speaker 1: about the books that the pizza is good. So if
Speaker 1: I like this, I'm like, Okay, what do you want?
Speaker 1: What do you want to slice? What do you want
Speaker 1: to hold on? Hold on? You guys got a whole
Speaker 1: news crew here and everything. Yeah that's right. This is
Speaker 1: going out live on and you guys are giving me
Speaker 1: everything I need. I haven't even had to ask any
Speaker 1: questions because it is just really good stuff. So keep
Speaker 1: it going, keep it going. So I think we're gonna
Speaker 1: go classic in New York. Give us deep dish. I'm
Speaker 1: going to want you've got if you could put everything
Speaker 1: on top, all the meats into the deeper dish. We
Speaker 1: do slices, all right, Cheese, pepperoni, veggie. That's about it,
Speaker 1: all right. And it's a foldable slice. It's a slice
Speaker 1: you can fold and put your mouth. Can fold anything.
Speaker 1: You've seen these hands that look like basebombs, you know,
Speaker 1: with the skyscrapers and the trains going by all the time.
Speaker 1: You got to be able to fold anything at any
Speaker 1: at any time. She's something friend, my New York friend.
Speaker 1: You saw me fart water. That's oh gosh, um, James,
Speaker 1: Did you say that because you think New York water
Speaker 1: chastes like fart water? No. I just feel like if
Speaker 1: we were saying this smells bad, that's one way you
Speaker 1: could make it happen where fart water smells. That's right,
Speaker 1: that's right, James, while we're talking to you. But thanks
Speaker 1: for playing. Thanks for being you, James, Thank you. I
Speaker 1: don't have much of a choice these days. Have kind
Speaker 1: of committed to being me. I mean, it's I mean,
Speaker 1: I guess I do have a choice. Every day. I
Speaker 1: could be I don't know someone else pretty much. Actually, no,
Speaker 1: this is me. We know, and we know and we
Speaker 1: love it, and I can't wait to see you out
Speaker 1: in the ocean this summer surfing along with the West
Speaker 1: Side Surf Crew in your tie everybody. I've told this
Speaker 1: to this too, because I'm just gonna take my surfboard
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna walk straight from my house to the
Speaker 1: ocean two blocks away, and I'm just gonna get on
Speaker 1: top of that idea. And that's what everybody keeps saying.
Speaker 1: I have a good surfer, surf before. But I'm a
Speaker 1: good swimmer. I'm a good skater, got incredible upper body.
Speaker 1: James James, James Sjames Shames, Shames, I'll see you out
Speaker 1: there moving on. Caroline, Well, I see you out there.
Speaker 1: Are you are you? Are you a beach person? Um? Yeah, sure,
Speaker 1: I went surfing exactly once. Was it with It was
Speaker 1: with Doug. That's what I'm fun. I never but you know,
Speaker 1: I think I could be pretty below average atted if
Speaker 1: I kept if I kept at it. Um, but the ocean,
Speaker 1: my thing with it is it's too big. That's what's up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what's up, Caroline. Where can the people follow you?
Speaker 1: You know on my Instagram cotter poop And then you
Speaker 1: know we got a paid shout out for a Stinkers
Speaker 1: podcast you can listen to that too. I paid that
Speaker 1: man to write in about that, so you know whatever. Okay, Jackie, Well,
Speaker 1: we see you out on the on the waves this summer. Um.
Speaker 1: You will not see me out on the waves this summer. Um.
Speaker 1: The ocean calls to me, but the warm ocean calls
Speaker 1: to me. This ocean does not call to me. Too
Speaker 1: cold to murky. Um. Where there are seals, where's there's
Speaker 1: where there's large prey, there is large predator. Uh So
Speaker 1: I'm good on this one. But perhaps you'll see me
Speaker 1: rolling in the sand um or you can definitely catch
Speaker 1: me at Jackie Ruthie on Instagram. And guess what, guys,
Speaker 1: it's almost Christmas in July. And I know for a
Speaker 1: fact that this July we have a special guest on
Speaker 1: one of our episodes. Who um, the Alcamaniacs are gonna
Speaker 1: know and love? And I'm not going to tell you
Speaker 1: who You're gonna have to find out. Let's twist say. Okay,
Speaker 1: maybe it's Mark Gagliardi. Mark. I don't want to say anything. Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't want to say that. I shamelessly just reached
Speaker 1: out to Jackie the other day, like I love Christmas.
Speaker 1: I love Christmas movies. I want to be on your show.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say that that happened. Okay, why don't
Speaker 1: you say where we can find you? You can find
Speaker 1: me online. I am at Mark Gags on Twitter and
Speaker 1: Instagram and uh yeah, and if you live in Los
Speaker 1: Angeles or in the surrounding area the second Thursday of
Speaker 1: every month, you can find me with what you will
Speaker 1: a Shakespearean unplay at Lineage Performing Arts Center. Also, we
Speaker 1: got this with Mark and Howe on the Maximum Fund Network.
Speaker 1: Wait wait, wait, wait real quick, I know we're wrapping up.
Speaker 1: What what is this? This Shakespeare show? It is imagine
Speaker 1: a sketch show where not everything is necessarily a comedy sketch,
Speaker 1: but it all revolves around the works of Shakespeare. I
Speaker 1: am yeah, I know. I realized as I was saying it,
Speaker 1: the guy who is famously champions uh improvisation that is
Speaker 1: not always comedy. Um, a sketch show that is a
Speaker 1: sketch show that is not always comedy is a delightful thing.
Speaker 1: So yeah, good, but you're plugging that. And I mean, Craig,
Speaker 1: You're always comedy, dude, Craig's comedy. You are right or die? Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: and I think pizza wars are silly to like. L
Speaker 1: A has a lot of great pizza. I love New
Speaker 1: York style, love Chicago style, both the deep dish and
Speaker 1: the thin stuff. Um I love that Detroit pizza with
Speaker 1: the caramelized crust. I'm Dakota pizza was a joke, but
Speaker 1: I'm sure like, if you're from uh, if you're from
Speaker 1: Pierre or Bismarck or Fargo or sup Falls, and you
Speaker 1: want to talk up your pizza to me, like, please
Speaker 1: let me know next time I'm there. I'll check it out.
Speaker 1: All right, You're right, pizza wars are silly. They are silly.
Speaker 1: We can just love the world. Pizza is still pretty good.
Speaker 1: That's right. Thank you all for being here, and let's
Speaker 1: thank our engineer and produce it to the stars and
Speaker 1: surf Instructor Extraordinair Doug As the fine folks, and I
Speaker 1: heart media. Thank you, I heard I've been your host,
Speaker 1: Chris Avarado, and thank you for listening. And until next time,
Speaker 1: oh colonel