1 00:00:01,320 --> 00:00:04,600 Speaker 1: Hey, lady, is doctor dim here. If you like this 2 00:00:04,720 --> 00:00:07,240 Speaker 1: show and you want to make your own, let me 3 00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:10,840 Speaker 1: tell you about the free platform Anchor. It's a creation 4 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:13,800 Speaker 1: tool that allows you to record and edit your podcast 5 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:17,280 Speaker 1: right from your phone or computer. You can add songs 6 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:21,000 Speaker 1: from Spotify and create any type of content that you 7 00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:24,400 Speaker 1: are looking for. Anchor will distribute it all for you 8 00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:28,440 Speaker 1: so it can be heard on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and more. 9 00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:32,080 Speaker 1: Download the free Anchor app or go to anchor dot 10 00:00:32,159 --> 00:00:33,800 Speaker 1: fm to get started. 11 00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:38,120 Speaker 2: On this week's episode in her Space, Thank you. Sometimes 12 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:39,519 Speaker 2: we don't want to be still and we don't want 13 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:42,159 Speaker 2: to relax because of what comes up. And so for me, 14 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:45,320 Speaker 2: a lot of stuff came up and I was like, Oh, 15 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:48,400 Speaker 2: it's my busyness because I know that I've always had 16 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:50,879 Speaker 2: to grind. I've always had to be ambitious because of 17 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:54,400 Speaker 2: the struggle and where I came from. Okay, now I 18 00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:55,040 Speaker 2: don't need. 19 00:00:54,920 --> 00:01:00,360 Speaker 1: To Welcome to her Space, a podcast dedicated to uplook. 20 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:01,040 Speaker 3: Women like you. 21 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:07,000 Speaker 1: We're your hosts Doctor Dominique Brussard, a college professor and psychologist, and. 22 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:10,839 Speaker 2: Terry Lomax, a techie and motivational speaker. In a world 23 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:15,080 Speaker 2: where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood. Please join 24 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:19,199 Speaker 2: us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything from five 25 00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:21,960 Speaker 2: boys to fake friends, and create a safe space where 26 00:01:21,959 --> 00:01:26,920 Speaker 2: black women can just be okay. 27 00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:30,720 Speaker 1: Our quote of the day comes from an unknown source, 28 00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:34,479 Speaker 1: but this is probably one of the most fitting quotes 29 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:40,120 Speaker 1: for our topic. The most productive thing you can do 30 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:45,320 Speaker 1: is relax. And I will say that one more time 31 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:47,400 Speaker 1: for the people in the bag, because I know some 32 00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:52,800 Speaker 1: of y'all heard that and was like, no, no, you 33 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:57,040 Speaker 1: had a counter argument already geared up. The most productive 34 00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:02,480 Speaker 1: thing you can do is relax, all right, type at. 35 00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:10,680 Speaker 2: You ready to dive in. I've got jokes, y'all. Yes, 36 00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:16,720 Speaker 2: I'm ready to dive in. I feel I feel caught 37 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:20,560 Speaker 2: out and seen. I feel seen right now. No, but yeah, 38 00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:26,320 Speaker 2: that quote, the most productive thing you can do is relax. 39 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:27,919 Speaker 2: That is interesting. 40 00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:30,960 Speaker 1: Well, when you hear that, like, at least for me, 41 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:40,160 Speaker 1: when I hear productive, to me, that means that I 42 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:41,839 Speaker 1: need to be doing right. 43 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:45,680 Speaker 3: What they're trying to. 44 00:02:45,639 --> 00:02:49,320 Speaker 1: Say there is that relaxation. 45 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:55,600 Speaker 3: Is doing, but maybe not our image of doing. 46 00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:58,560 Speaker 1: Yes right for sure, because when you hear that, what 47 00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:00,400 Speaker 1: comes to mind for you. 48 00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:03,720 Speaker 2: Well, I am a very I like to be a 49 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:07,560 Speaker 2: very productive and busy person. I'm realizing about myself that 50 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:09,720 Speaker 2: that's like my sweet spot. I love to do that. 51 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,840 Speaker 2: And so when I when I see the quote, I'm like, Okay, 52 00:03:12,919 --> 00:03:15,440 Speaker 2: it makes sense. I can understand why someone would say 53 00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:18,239 Speaker 2: that the most productive thing you can do is relax 54 00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:21,600 Speaker 2: because I'm sure that if you're relaxing, you're refueling, you're refreshing, 55 00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:27,000 Speaker 2: you're you know, getting your energy back. But in actuality, 56 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:29,200 Speaker 2: it doesn't always seem like when I'm thinking, when I 57 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:30,440 Speaker 2: wake up in the morning, I'm like, all right, I'm 58 00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:32,880 Speaker 2: gonna be productive today, Relaxation is not at the top 59 00:03:32,919 --> 00:03:36,080 Speaker 2: of my list right right. Ideally, I would love for 60 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:37,680 Speaker 2: it to be one day, and I think I aspire 61 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:39,840 Speaker 2: to get to that point. But I have a lot 62 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:42,760 Speaker 2: of reworking to do, and I'm realizing that more than 63 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:45,800 Speaker 2: ever at this point in my life. 64 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:48,080 Speaker 3: And so you know, when now. 65 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:54,320 Speaker 1: When I hear that, like that reworking, that reprogramming, right, 66 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:59,000 Speaker 1: I think for a lot of us, particularly those of 67 00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:06,080 Speaker 1: us who might be Type A personalities, and honestly, any 68 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:09,480 Speaker 1: of us who go to have a job, you go 69 00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:14,360 Speaker 1: to work every day, you are in school, if you 70 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:18,280 Speaker 1: get out of bed every morning, and you have places 71 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:21,760 Speaker 1: to go and things to check off on a to 72 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:28,480 Speaker 1: do list. Chances are relaxation is something that you probably 73 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:34,200 Speaker 1: have to train your body to do. The idea from 74 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:44,080 Speaker 1: the research is that relaxation means that mentally you're at peace. 75 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:53,599 Speaker 1: Right Mentally, you're not thinking about your to do list 76 00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:57,640 Speaker 1: for tomorrow. You're not thinking about the things that you 77 00:04:57,720 --> 00:05:01,720 Speaker 1: didn't get done today. I'm thinking about, Okay, what's on 78 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:07,680 Speaker 1: my checklist for five years from now, ten years from now? 79 00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:09,480 Speaker 2: Are you olden my driveway down? 80 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:18,920 Speaker 3: I am car parked out front, headlights on, and you part. 81 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:27,000 Speaker 1: Of this relaxation means that your body is at ease, 82 00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:34,240 Speaker 1: and that means that the stress that you're carrying in 83 00:05:34,279 --> 00:05:38,640 Speaker 1: your body, the anxiety that you're carrying in your body, 84 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:46,400 Speaker 1: has kind of let loose. Right, So literally, lady, as 85 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:49,560 Speaker 1: you're listening right now, if you're in a space where 86 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:56,520 Speaker 1: you can do it, taking a big, deep breath, hold 87 00:05:56,600 --> 00:06:08,159 Speaker 1: it and now slowly ex hel and notice when you 88 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:12,920 Speaker 1: do that, how your body may have completely tensed up 89 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:20,400 Speaker 1: when you were on that inhale, and then on that exhale, 90 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:29,040 Speaker 1: how your body softened hopefully right and hopefully it also 91 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:32,200 Speaker 1: allowed you to release those spaces in your body that 92 00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:35,680 Speaker 1: were you were holding tents that you might not have 93 00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:40,000 Speaker 1: even been initially aware of. Right. Like I know, for me, 94 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:45,440 Speaker 1: sometimes when I'm sitting, I sit with my shoulders like 95 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:49,880 Speaker 1: or even just in general, like I'm my body can 96 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:53,960 Speaker 1: be so tense that my shoulders are like practically up 97 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:57,520 Speaker 1: to my ears, right, and I'm just walking around like that, 98 00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:00,719 Speaker 1: carrying myself like that. And it's when I take a 99 00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:06,440 Speaker 1: deep breath that I realize, oh, my shoulders can fully relax. 100 00:07:08,279 --> 00:07:12,760 Speaker 1: I notice that sometimes when I'm seated, my legs tense 101 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:15,520 Speaker 1: up so like my butt cheeks are like. 102 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:20,960 Speaker 3: And the thighs are clinched right. 103 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:26,280 Speaker 1: And then when I stand up or when I take 104 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:30,920 Speaker 1: that deep exhale, I notice that everything kind of softens. 105 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:35,000 Speaker 1: And to me, that's a signal that, like I'm that 106 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:39,400 Speaker 1: I'm carrying stress, that I'm carrying tension, even if I'm 107 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:42,600 Speaker 1: just going as I'm just going about my day to day. 108 00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:46,360 Speaker 1: I know a lot of us are also doing like 109 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:50,040 Speaker 1: a lot of us are doing that just constantly, just 110 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:53,200 Speaker 1: moving from our day to day, carrying on as usual 111 00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:56,960 Speaker 1: with so much tension. Right. 112 00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:58,560 Speaker 3: And then we say. 113 00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:03,560 Speaker 1: Okay, I'm gonna go home and I'm gonna relax. Now. 114 00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:07,160 Speaker 1: I don't know about you, but when, like before, I 115 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:11,760 Speaker 1: took time to really pay attention to what relaxation meant. 116 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:14,480 Speaker 3: Relaxation used to mean for me. 117 00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:20,000 Speaker 1: Oh, I'm going to go home and I'm going to 118 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:22,880 Speaker 1: read a book. And I've talked to y'all before about 119 00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:28,920 Speaker 1: how much I love reading. But if I'm reading a 120 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:31,600 Speaker 1: ton of I see Coats book, not the new one. 121 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:39,000 Speaker 1: But if I'm reading something nonfiction, as interesting as it 122 00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:42,880 Speaker 1: may be, Like I remember I was reading Brian Stevenson's 123 00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:52,160 Speaker 1: book Just Mercy, and it's about mass incarceration, particularly in Alabama, and. 124 00:08:54,679 --> 00:08:55,959 Speaker 3: I couldn't put the book down. 125 00:08:57,559 --> 00:08:59,520 Speaker 1: And I would say, Oh, that's you know, that's my reading, 126 00:08:59,559 --> 00:09:00,560 Speaker 1: that's my relaxation. 127 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:03,479 Speaker 3: But that's not relaxing. 128 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:08,800 Speaker 1: Like as I'm reading that, I'm like thinking about all 129 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:14,000 Speaker 1: of these people, and I'm thinking about the the problems 130 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:18,040 Speaker 1: within our criminal justice system, and and I'm I'm just 131 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:22,959 Speaker 1: thinking and thinking and thinking. That's not relaxing because that's 132 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:28,160 Speaker 1: stress exactly. And as I'm stressing myself out, what that 133 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:31,720 Speaker 1: also means is that my heart rate might be increasing, 134 00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:36,360 Speaker 1: that my brain and like, as my heart rate is 135 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:40,720 Speaker 1: increasing and my body is gearing up, what's happening in 136 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:44,760 Speaker 1: my brain is that, like cortisol levels are being released, 137 00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:49,080 Speaker 1: and that's that's that's stress, right that And so then 138 00:09:49,679 --> 00:09:54,640 Speaker 1: that means that chances are I'm probably not going to 139 00:09:54,679 --> 00:09:57,840 Speaker 1: sleep well even though I'm supposed to be doing this 140 00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:02,359 Speaker 1: to help me get ready for sleep. So I'm not relaxing, 141 00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:09,840 Speaker 1: and that's just me. Yeah, what do you do or 142 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:14,720 Speaker 1: prior to thinking like reimagining your relaxation, what would you 143 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:15,800 Speaker 1: do to relax? 144 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:17,760 Speaker 2: Okay, I was gonna say right now, I actually have 145 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:22,120 Speaker 2: some very good relaxation tactics right now, but prior I 146 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:25,240 Speaker 2: would do the same thing, Like I love I used 147 00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:28,240 Speaker 2: to love fiction books growing up, and then I got 148 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:30,000 Speaker 2: into a place where I was like, yo, I'm like 149 00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:32,720 Speaker 2: all into self help. The thing is, when you're trying 150 00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:35,480 Speaker 2: to relax, you go to self help. My mind is 151 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:37,800 Speaker 2: in like, oh, how can I implement this? I gotta 152 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:40,679 Speaker 2: take notes And now I'm in I'm in like the classroom, right, 153 00:10:40,679 --> 00:10:43,800 Speaker 2: I'm in my own personal like life learning classroom while 154 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:46,880 Speaker 2: I'm learning at my own pace. But it's like that's 155 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:50,640 Speaker 2: not really relaxing, Like I'm actually trying to retain information. 156 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:53,960 Speaker 2: I'm working my mind, so reading that used to be 157 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:58,160 Speaker 2: one for me. It's usually like work stuff. Like I 158 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:01,560 Speaker 2: might say, oh, I'm gonna go blog and that's my relaxation, 159 00:11:01,679 --> 00:11:04,120 Speaker 2: but it's like, yeah, I love to do that and 160 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:08,359 Speaker 2: it's fun for me, but it's not really relaxing, right, 161 00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:13,880 Speaker 2: Or watch a documentary, you know, another thing documentary. So 162 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:20,199 Speaker 2: I definitely did not have very healthy relaxation strategies. I 163 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:21,760 Speaker 2: feel like I can still work on them now. I 164 00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:25,600 Speaker 2: have better ways now, but I just I kind of 165 00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:28,320 Speaker 2: I aspire to be in a place where relaxation is 166 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:30,880 Speaker 2: like a natural extension of me, where I am just 167 00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:33,640 Speaker 2: kind of in the zen space and I don't have 168 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:37,120 Speaker 2: to depend on relaxation once I'm already stressed out. Because 169 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:39,560 Speaker 2: a lot of times I notice that we all know 170 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:42,560 Speaker 2: you gotta, you know, fill your cup before you can 171 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:45,400 Speaker 2: feel anyone else's or poor into anyone else. We all 172 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:48,640 Speaker 2: know that. But oftentimes in real life, like when life 173 00:11:48,679 --> 00:11:51,480 Speaker 2: just plays out, I will go, go, go, go go 174 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:53,640 Speaker 2: until I'm on e and then i feel like I'm 175 00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:55,800 Speaker 2: on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I'm like, oh shit, 176 00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:59,200 Speaker 2: let me call my team, let me call my help, 177 00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:01,520 Speaker 2: let me find my relaxation, let me go to therapy, 178 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:03,520 Speaker 2: and then I get back up to you know, half tank. 179 00:12:03,559 --> 00:12:05,920 Speaker 2: And that's kind of the game that I play. I'm 180 00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:07,360 Speaker 2: trying to get better at that now. Though. 181 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:12,400 Speaker 1: That's a good point of like you let yourself go 182 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:17,120 Speaker 1: right and go to eat, yes, and then when you 183 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:21,640 Speaker 1: are trying to refuel, you said you only go to 184 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:27,319 Speaker 1: half full. You're not even allowing yourself to get all 185 00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:28,679 Speaker 1: the way up to full. 186 00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:32,840 Speaker 2: Because what does that look like? It's uncomfortable, you know, 187 00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:35,599 Speaker 2: Like I don't know for for you, it's a relaxation. 188 00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:40,000 Speaker 2: Is that like uncomfortable for you? Like does it come naturally? 189 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:42,280 Speaker 2: Because I feel like for me, we've talked about this 190 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:47,440 Speaker 2: over dinner, Like not having something to do is very 191 00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:49,640 Speaker 2: I guess people say, like I know, for some people, 192 00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:52,319 Speaker 2: they're gonna listen and they're gonna say, girl, like I 193 00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:55,440 Speaker 2: I out of here. I know how to no, Like 194 00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:57,520 Speaker 2: that is so hard for me. And there's a backstory 195 00:12:57,520 --> 00:12:59,040 Speaker 2: on why, and I think we'll dive into that in 196 00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:01,959 Speaker 2: a little bit. But it's very hard for me to chill, 197 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:05,559 Speaker 2: to relax fully. I mean, like for an extended amount 198 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:07,599 Speaker 2: of time. Yeah, I can take a bubble bath, and 199 00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:09,760 Speaker 2: I can chill, I can meditate, But I mean like 200 00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:12,160 Speaker 2: really relax like vacation. 201 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:16,920 Speaker 3: And but here's the thing, right, So like there's levels. 202 00:13:16,559 --> 00:13:20,240 Speaker 1: To that relaxation, levels to it. So you said like 203 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:24,880 Speaker 1: a bubble bath. So even it like for a bubble bath, 204 00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:30,080 Speaker 1: are you even truly relaxing during that bubble bath? Like 205 00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:33,920 Speaker 1: I could imagine, Like I know, for me, if I'm 206 00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:39,120 Speaker 1: taking a bubble bath, I am not necessarily I don't 207 00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:43,320 Speaker 1: think I'm truly relaxed by the definition of relaxation. I 208 00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:48,800 Speaker 1: think I might be Chances are I'm reading a book 209 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:56,080 Speaker 1: or I'm thinking, oh girl, yeah, and so then that's 210 00:13:56,160 --> 00:14:02,000 Speaker 1: not necessarily relaxing. So even though it's giving me an 211 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:10,360 Speaker 1: opportunity to not do anything specifically work related, I'm not 212 00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:16,560 Speaker 1: truly relaxing. Now. If I'm in that bubble bath and 213 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:20,280 Speaker 1: I've got my candles and I've got my soft music, 214 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:27,160 Speaker 1: and maybe I'm using that time to truly meditate and 215 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:31,760 Speaker 1: in the true sense of meditation, then I'm entering a 216 00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:38,360 Speaker 1: deep relaxation, right, I'm entering true relaxation because I'm letting 217 00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:41,680 Speaker 1: my body shut down and. 218 00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:44,720 Speaker 3: Mind, yes, and that's key the mind. 219 00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:47,840 Speaker 2: Ooh girl, Because here's the thing. Sometimes we'll take a 220 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:52,160 Speaker 2: bubble bath, or we'll do something that's meant to be relaxation, 221 00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,960 Speaker 2: but we're literally doing it just to check off the box. 222 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,680 Speaker 2: Like I've gotten a massage before, and I've been so 223 00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:02,600 Speaker 2: like sometimes this mind of mind, this mind of mind 224 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:06,720 Speaker 2: is so it's just I'm grateful for all the creativity 225 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:08,800 Speaker 2: and everything, but it is like a highway sometimes and 226 00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:11,040 Speaker 2: it's so overwhelming for me to keep up, and I 227 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:12,280 Speaker 2: don't know what to do with this, Like do I 228 00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:14,600 Speaker 2: write the ideas down? Do I just chill? Like what 229 00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:16,640 Speaker 2: do I do? So meditation has been really important, but 230 00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:19,120 Speaker 2: sometimes I've definitely been in a space where my mind 231 00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:21,240 Speaker 2: is racing and I'll go through the motions and I'll 232 00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:23,720 Speaker 2: maybe get a massage, and then by the end, I'm like, fuck, 233 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,200 Speaker 2: I was thinking the whole damn time. I didn't even 234 00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:28,000 Speaker 2: get a chance to really relax, you know. 235 00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:32,360 Speaker 1: And I will say, for me, usually a massage is 236 00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:36,480 Speaker 1: actually one of those places where I will truly relax 237 00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:42,600 Speaker 1: and rest. And so rest is when our body is 238 00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:46,520 Speaker 1: sleeping and our brain is kind of shutting down, right, 239 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:47,880 Speaker 1: And so. 240 00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:50,840 Speaker 3: For me, with a massage. 241 00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:56,120 Speaker 1: I can get in there, and if the massage therapist 242 00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:59,480 Speaker 1: is really good at what they're doing, I will close 243 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:03,360 Speaker 1: my eye and chances are I will probably start snoring 244 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:08,000 Speaker 1: because I will because that might be the one space 245 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:13,080 Speaker 1: where I truly am letting myself relax and rest because 246 00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:18,080 Speaker 1: I don't have any other distractions. And so I think about, like, 247 00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:26,720 Speaker 1: for a lot of us, that relaxation really needs to 248 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:32,920 Speaker 1: change because we're allowing distractions to come in and like 249 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,640 Speaker 1: you said, we're doing it to like check off a box. 250 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:40,240 Speaker 1: So maybe you have a family and you're like, Okay, 251 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:45,360 Speaker 1: put the kids to bed early, I'm gonna relax. Well, 252 00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:51,280 Speaker 1: what is your relaxation is it I'm cleaning the kitchen or. 253 00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:54,479 Speaker 3: I'm gonna sit down and watch. 254 00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:57,080 Speaker 1: Get caught up on my TV shows that I didn't 255 00:16:57,120 --> 00:17:01,280 Speaker 1: get a chance to watch all week. If you are 256 00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:08,760 Speaker 1: truly able to engage in those activities and not think 257 00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:14,280 Speaker 1: about all the other things, like not think about that 258 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:17,879 Speaker 1: Halloween costume that you need to get for the kids, 259 00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:22,000 Speaker 1: or the cupcakes that you need to bake for the 260 00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:27,280 Speaker 1: birthday party, or on and on and on. Right, if 261 00:17:27,359 --> 00:17:32,960 Speaker 1: you are truly able to engage in that activity and 262 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:37,240 Speaker 1: not think about all of the other things. Then you're relaxing, 263 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,560 Speaker 1: and it's gonna look different for each of us for sure. 264 00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:43,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, I would definitely agree with that dim And I 265 00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:45,600 Speaker 2: think I mean, we're all evolving, right, We're all the 266 00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:49,000 Speaker 2: work in progress. I think. For me, I'm currently I'm 267 00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:53,280 Speaker 2: currently on this sabbatical from work, so I'll be off 268 00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:56,119 Speaker 2: work for a couple of weeks. And it sounds amazing. 269 00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:59,600 Speaker 2: I'm grateful for it, believe it or not. For me, 270 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:02,720 Speaker 2: it is a struggle to not be required to be 271 00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:04,840 Speaker 2: doing anything. So because I want a bad call, I'm like, 272 00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:06,399 Speaker 2: all right, I'm going to fall back a little bit 273 00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:09,639 Speaker 2: on social media. I'm not going to be aggressively posting. 274 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:11,480 Speaker 2: I'm just gonna take some time to just go within 275 00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:13,800 Speaker 2: because I've had a lot going on. I just want 276 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:17,200 Speaker 2: to just be still. But in being still, it's very challenging. 277 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:20,000 Speaker 2: And so the first couple of days, a few questions 278 00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:23,040 Speaker 2: came up for me, and I was thinking to myself, Okay, 279 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:25,439 Speaker 2: I'm not going to work today. Everyone else, you know, 280 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:27,280 Speaker 2: my colleagues that are off to work, I'm not going 281 00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:30,679 Speaker 2: to work. I feel like I'm missing out. I feel 282 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:32,800 Speaker 2: like there's stuff that I want to do. I have 283 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:35,600 Speaker 2: ideas for my brand and things that I want to do, 284 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:39,800 Speaker 2: and being still it's like for me, it's not very easy. 285 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:43,160 Speaker 2: And so I'm like literally sitting around the house like Okay, 286 00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:45,840 Speaker 2: what the fuck? What do I like? I'm just looking around, 287 00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:47,800 Speaker 2: like what do I do? Okay, I'll make some food, 288 00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:50,439 Speaker 2: I'll watch something on TV. But I'm so used to 289 00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:53,560 Speaker 2: being productive and like that's just what I'm so accustomed 290 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,200 Speaker 2: to that when I'm not doing that, the questions that 291 00:18:56,359 --> 00:18:58,640 Speaker 2: came up for me were like, Okay, well, who are 292 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:01,159 Speaker 2: you if you're not I know who I am, but 293 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:02,800 Speaker 2: it's like, who are you if you're not on stage, 294 00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:05,240 Speaker 2: if you're not posting on social if you're not going 295 00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:07,480 Speaker 2: to work every day, when you're just sitting at home? 296 00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:10,040 Speaker 2: Like who are you? And what does that mean for 297 00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:13,520 Speaker 2: you to just be without you being attached to these 298 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:16,199 Speaker 2: different things? And I was like, Okay, that's interesting. I 299 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:19,400 Speaker 2: also realized that sometimes we don't want to be still 300 00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,280 Speaker 2: and we don't want to relax because of what comes up. 301 00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:24,639 Speaker 2: And so for me, a lot of stuff came up 302 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:27,280 Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, it's my busyness because I 303 00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:29,879 Speaker 2: know that I've always had to grind. I've always had 304 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:32,240 Speaker 2: to be ambitious because of the struggle and where I 305 00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:36,800 Speaker 2: came from. Okay, now I don't need to see like 306 00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:39,399 Speaker 2: grinding out is still important, but I don't need to 307 00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:41,760 Speaker 2: grind at the same level and under the same conditions 308 00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:46,119 Speaker 2: that I did before. Right, And now that's shifting because 309 00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:48,320 Speaker 2: life is changing for me. So it's like, Okay, with 310 00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:51,480 Speaker 2: that in mind, what does that mean for me? Now? 311 00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:54,720 Speaker 2: What's coming up for me now? And I realized that 312 00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:57,600 Speaker 2: when I'm just quiet, like, oh, a lot of questions 313 00:19:57,600 --> 00:20:01,080 Speaker 2: come up, a lot of I might be triggered by 314 00:20:01,119 --> 00:20:03,359 Speaker 2: something like I cried a couple of days when I 315 00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:05,680 Speaker 2: was on that little break, and I was just like, oh, 316 00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:08,000 Speaker 2: some random shit that I never thought about because I 317 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,880 Speaker 2: was so busy is now coming up and it's on 318 00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:13,199 Speaker 2: the surface. And now that it's here, what do I 319 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:14,800 Speaker 2: do with this information? What do I do with this 320 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:17,879 Speaker 2: shit that was buried so deep down? And now that 321 00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:20,640 Speaker 2: I am quiet and I am still and I don't 322 00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:22,600 Speaker 2: have my job and I don't have these things that 323 00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:25,920 Speaker 2: are keeping me distracted? What do I do with this discomfort? 324 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:36,919 Speaker 1: And that is exactly why relaxation is productive, because what 325 00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:41,600 Speaker 1: it's doing is it's a couple of things, right, So 326 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:48,520 Speaker 1: it's allowing you the space and time to address the 327 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:54,399 Speaker 1: ship that's coming up, right, and it's also. 328 00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:59,520 Speaker 3: Giving you room to go from E. 329 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:03,920 Speaker 2: To full. 330 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:08,679 Speaker 1: Right. That's why it's the most productive, because if it's not, 331 00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:11,760 Speaker 1: because every other thing that you've been doing right where 332 00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:14,760 Speaker 1: you're like I'm gonna take I'm taking a break and 333 00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:16,560 Speaker 1: you're like, okay. 334 00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:17,640 Speaker 3: I'm gonna go for my massage. 335 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:21,920 Speaker 1: Well, that didn't help. That didn't get you back to full. 336 00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:23,920 Speaker 1: That didn't get your tank back to full. That got 337 00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:26,800 Speaker 1: you to maybe a quarter of a tank, right, and 338 00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:30,800 Speaker 1: then you depleted that tank really easy, and then you're. 339 00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:31,720 Speaker 3: Working on your blog. 340 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:34,960 Speaker 1: Okay, well that might have gotten you to maybe a 341 00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:38,080 Speaker 1: half a tank, and then you get back on doing 342 00:21:38,119 --> 00:21:41,160 Speaker 1: your day to day and you're depleted again. You're back 343 00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:45,800 Speaker 1: on E. What's happening now that you have this time 344 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:49,120 Speaker 1: is your body is saying. 345 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:52,240 Speaker 3: Oh, okay, we're gonna do this. 346 00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:57,160 Speaker 1: We are really going to make sure that we get 347 00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:59,440 Speaker 1: our tank back up to full. And part of getting 348 00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:02,200 Speaker 1: our tank go up to full means that we need 349 00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:03,560 Speaker 1: to clean it out. 350 00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:07,400 Speaker 3: So that all that. 351 00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:13,800 Speaker 1: Gunk and grime and just stickiness we're trying to get it, 352 00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:20,359 Speaker 1: clear it all out so that we truly can pour 353 00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:23,480 Speaker 1: into ourselves and get to full. 354 00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:28,159 Speaker 2: I think that's a good point. I think that sometimes 355 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:31,880 Speaker 2: when I don't know so as far as the relaxation 356 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:34,560 Speaker 2: piece and then the just being still and quiet, I 357 00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:39,000 Speaker 2: think they could be categorized differently. I think that sometimes 358 00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:41,760 Speaker 2: with both those feelings and the guy, like the way 359 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:44,680 Speaker 2: that you said that, you said that your system's like, Okay, 360 00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:47,000 Speaker 2: we need to clear this out. But sometimes when that 361 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:50,040 Speaker 2: comes up, it can be productive. But sometimes people are like, wait, 362 00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:51,919 Speaker 2: I didn't sign up for this. I didn't realize that 363 00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:53,960 Speaker 2: all this was going to come up. Because it's uncomfortable, 364 00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:56,520 Speaker 2: Like maybe there's stuff that happened to your childhood and 365 00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:59,919 Speaker 2: you're like, I'm not interested in diving back into that now. 366 00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:01,920 Speaker 2: I feel like I am like a glutton for pain 367 00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:03,880 Speaker 2: because I'm just like, I want to dive into all 368 00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:06,320 Speaker 2: my pain. Let's just reveal all this shit and let's 369 00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:08,080 Speaker 2: figure out how we're going to process it. And so 370 00:23:08,119 --> 00:23:11,960 Speaker 2: it's uncomfortable, but because of like the goal that I 371 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,959 Speaker 2: have in mind to provide healing to other people, oftentimes 372 00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:17,920 Speaker 2: I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna just go ahead, and I'll 373 00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:20,560 Speaker 2: go ahead and you know, go through this uncomfortable situation 374 00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:23,000 Speaker 2: because I ideally I can help someone else from it. But 375 00:23:23,119 --> 00:23:26,359 Speaker 2: I think that it can be tricky, right, like if 376 00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:28,200 Speaker 2: you don't know what to do with what comes up, 377 00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:31,040 Speaker 2: or if you're just so uncomfortable and be like what 378 00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:33,240 Speaker 2: do I do? It can just be really tricky. But 379 00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:35,879 Speaker 2: I think it is important because what I've realized, and 380 00:23:36,119 --> 00:23:40,199 Speaker 2: you know, going on vacation, I've realized that this happens 381 00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:42,119 Speaker 2: every time I get a really good vacation for like 382 00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:44,879 Speaker 2: at least a week. This happened last year when I 383 00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:47,720 Speaker 2: was in LA for a week, and I realized on 384 00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:51,240 Speaker 2: vacation that, oh, this is what my body feels like 385 00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:52,919 Speaker 2: when it's not stressed out. Like I didn't know that 386 00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:55,560 Speaker 2: I was stressed. I had an idea this last couple 387 00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:57,879 Speaker 2: months because it was that crazy, but like usually I 388 00:23:57,880 --> 00:24:00,160 Speaker 2: don't know that I'm really stressed until I'm not stress. 389 00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:02,600 Speaker 2: So then I'm not stressed. I'm like, god, damn, I 390 00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:05,560 Speaker 2: need to add some of this this this this freedom 391 00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:08,240 Speaker 2: and this relaxation to my real life. And then real 392 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:11,399 Speaker 2: life comes in. I go back to the grind and 393 00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:13,040 Speaker 2: then I'm back in the same position. So I'm trying 394 00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:15,000 Speaker 2: to figure out I think this time I'm going to 395 00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:18,399 Speaker 2: get it where I'm like, how can I add intentional 396 00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:21,520 Speaker 2: relaxation throughout life so that I don't have to be 397 00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:25,560 Speaker 2: on e to realize that, okay, I need to do something. 398 00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:27,720 Speaker 1: Well, it goes back to what I was saying though, 399 00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:31,040 Speaker 1: as we're going to keep using the gas tank. Analogy 400 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:36,760 Speaker 1: is that what's happening is what we all tend to do, right, 401 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:42,440 Speaker 1: is we will say, Okay, we're gonna relax, so we're 402 00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:44,600 Speaker 1: gonna we're going to try and clean up the tank 403 00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:50,560 Speaker 1: a little bit, right, But imagine that you have this pipe, 404 00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:53,680 Speaker 1: and the pipe is about let's say the pipe is 405 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:59,399 Speaker 1: about eight inches around and one inch is like your 406 00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:05,000 Speaker 1: childhood trauma. Add another inch and that's like your current 407 00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:09,840 Speaker 1: life stressors. And then depending on how many life stressors 408 00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:15,159 Speaker 1: you have, it gets thicker and thicker right to where 409 00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:21,720 Speaker 1: that pipe is completely clawed. And then you say, okay, 410 00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:25,040 Speaker 1: I'm gonna take a day. I'm gonna take a mental 411 00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:29,800 Speaker 1: health day from work. And that mental health day may 412 00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:34,920 Speaker 1: only out of that full eight inches of grime may 413 00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:40,840 Speaker 1: only wash away one layer. Right, So now you've got 414 00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:42,840 Speaker 1: a little bit more room for stuff to come through, 415 00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:47,840 Speaker 1: but it's eventually that stuff that's coming through. 416 00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:52,440 Speaker 3: It is gonna get stuck. So then you're back completely called. 417 00:25:54,520 --> 00:26:00,760 Speaker 1: And it's not until you really sit down and say, Okay, 418 00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:05,920 Speaker 1: I'm gonna truly clean this system out and get rid 419 00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:12,280 Speaker 1: of everything that you truly will be able to relax. 420 00:26:12,760 --> 00:26:18,080 Speaker 1: Because what's gonna keep happening is you may drain out 421 00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:22,680 Speaker 1: one inch, two inch, three inch, but you've still got 422 00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:26,359 Speaker 1: more stuff in there. And until all of that stuff 423 00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:31,840 Speaker 1: gets cleared out, every time more like more stuff is 424 00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:34,239 Speaker 1: gonna keep coming in. It's gonna eventually get stuck on 425 00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:37,320 Speaker 1: that stuff that's been there, like that childhood trauma, right, 426 00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:43,080 Speaker 1: it's gonna stay stuck in there, those relationships, those toxic 427 00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:46,359 Speaker 1: relationships that you never healed from, like it's gonna stay. 428 00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:50,320 Speaker 1: It's still stuck in there, and until you really sit 429 00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:54,520 Speaker 1: down and deal with it, deal with it meaning going 430 00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:58,520 Speaker 1: to therapy or finding whatever healing may work for you. 431 00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:02,320 Speaker 1: For some people that's strictly just meditation, for some people 432 00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:07,199 Speaker 1: that's religion, whatever the healing method is for you, until 433 00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:12,640 Speaker 1: you really sit down and let your body truly process 434 00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:15,680 Speaker 1: all of that and get all removed, all of it, 435 00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:19,560 Speaker 1: You're gonna keep having to come back to this same 436 00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:21,200 Speaker 1: spot over and over again. 437 00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:24,760 Speaker 2: Question, how often do you think, because what you said, 438 00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:27,760 Speaker 2: I love that analogy because I'm visual, so I'm picturing 439 00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:30,320 Speaker 2: all the layers. How often do you think people actually 440 00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:33,080 Speaker 2: because when you say go in and clear it all out, 441 00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:36,240 Speaker 2: I'm like, yo, how often do you think people actually 442 00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:38,280 Speaker 2: do that? Because I think I feel like a lot 443 00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:40,399 Speaker 2: of us are just walking around clogs, like some of 444 00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:43,320 Speaker 2: us are getting past a few layers, but getting down. 445 00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:46,000 Speaker 2: I think about some of the things that happened when 446 00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:47,960 Speaker 2: I was younger. I'm like, I never had a chance 447 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,840 Speaker 2: to like cry for that thing, Like I never had 448 00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:53,399 Speaker 2: a chance to grieve that thing. And so when I 449 00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:56,000 Speaker 2: think about it, sounds a little overwhelming but also very 450 00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:59,000 Speaker 2: beneficial when you talk about clearing everything out. But how 451 00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:00,720 Speaker 2: often do you think people are actually do that? 452 00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:02,119 Speaker 3: Not often enough? 453 00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:03,280 Speaker 2: Yes, That's what I'm thinking. 454 00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:06,399 Speaker 1: Not often enough. Like I think about, like just for 455 00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:09,840 Speaker 1: me personally, in my own therapy there over this last 456 00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:13,040 Speaker 1: just over this last year and a half, like there 457 00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:17,560 Speaker 1: have been times where I've gone in and I'm telling 458 00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:20,960 Speaker 1: my therapist about like a current what I call like 459 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:24,320 Speaker 1: my current first world problems, right, stuff that I feel 460 00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:26,280 Speaker 1: like I can process, but. 461 00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:28,240 Speaker 3: I just need to vince about it, right. 462 00:28:29,119 --> 00:28:32,119 Speaker 1: And as I'm talking about it, usually she'll ask like, 463 00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:34,880 Speaker 1: is there something that has this come up for you before? 464 00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:38,880 Speaker 1: And what usually ends up happening for me? And how 465 00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:43,600 Speaker 1: I'm like unclogging stuff. Is that something that's happening in 466 00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:46,320 Speaker 1: my present that I'm just venting about because it's like 467 00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:48,160 Speaker 1: it doesn't feel like it's that big of a deal. 468 00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:53,040 Speaker 1: Somehow will get connected to something that's happened in my 469 00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:57,440 Speaker 1: past that I never let myself truly process right that 470 00:28:57,600 --> 00:29:02,160 Speaker 1: I thought, Oh, life kept moving, so I thought it 471 00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:06,160 Speaker 1: was dealt with right, And then I find myself in 472 00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:10,920 Speaker 1: session like crying about this thing that I didn't think 473 00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:16,880 Speaker 1: was traumatic or stressful or I thought that maybe I 474 00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:20,200 Speaker 1: had finished processing, and here I am in session crying 475 00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:25,840 Speaker 1: about it. And it's like, oh, I never let myself 476 00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:31,400 Speaker 1: actually acknowledge that that situation was hurtful or was harmful. 477 00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:34,920 Speaker 1: And so to have that space and I'm just talking 478 00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:38,680 Speaker 1: about what works for me, that for me is what 479 00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:43,760 Speaker 1: helps like unclogged. And so I think that it's about 480 00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:48,600 Speaker 1: identifying what are the things that are necessary in your 481 00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:51,120 Speaker 1: own life to help you on clog. 482 00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:55,160 Speaker 2: Yes, I think that's a really good point. And it's 483 00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:59,280 Speaker 2: not easy work, Like, it's not easy by any means 484 00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:04,239 Speaker 2: your face, And I know some people, and here's the thing, 485 00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:06,160 Speaker 2: I get it. There are some things. There are some 486 00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:08,440 Speaker 2: things that I'm like, you know, I think about and 487 00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:10,120 Speaker 2: I'm like, you know what, I'm probably not going to 488 00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:13,600 Speaker 2: dive into that until somewhere farther down the line. I 489 00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:15,600 Speaker 2: don't even want to touch that right now. And I 490 00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:18,360 Speaker 2: think we all have a right to have those experiences 491 00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:20,400 Speaker 2: where we're like, you know what, that was a bit much. 492 00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:22,320 Speaker 2: I think I'm gonna just I'm gonna focus on some 493 00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:25,120 Speaker 2: other things right now. But I do think that you know, 494 00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:27,600 Speaker 2: in this life, you know, we have a finite time 495 00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:29,600 Speaker 2: here on this planet, and I think that it would 496 00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:32,040 Speaker 2: be in our best interest, in the world's best interest, 497 00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:34,440 Speaker 2: for us to heal from the things that have happened 498 00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:35,960 Speaker 2: to us so that we can just show up and 499 00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:39,040 Speaker 2: be our best selves and also help other people. And 500 00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:42,840 Speaker 2: I on my second day off, I ended up calling 501 00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:45,720 Speaker 2: a I had a consultation with a reiki master, and 502 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:49,120 Speaker 2: reiki is a form of alternative medicine called energy healing, 503 00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:53,880 Speaker 2: and basically the practitioner uses a technique called palm healing 504 00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:58,840 Speaker 2: or hands on where they're shifting energy in your body. Right, 505 00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:00,320 Speaker 2: And that's like the essence of it. And so I 506 00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:02,960 Speaker 2: had a call with this person and the guy he's 507 00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:06,240 Speaker 2: supposed to be a really renowned raaking master in the area, 508 00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:09,720 Speaker 2: and he talked a lot about childhood trauma and just 509 00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:12,480 Speaker 2: different things that impact us today. And we've talked about 510 00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:15,200 Speaker 2: this on many of episodes, right, And one thing he 511 00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:17,320 Speaker 2: said that kind of relates back to what you said, Dom, 512 00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:20,240 Speaker 2: is there are certain things especially when you've because he 513 00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:22,640 Speaker 2: asked about my upbringing and he's like, did you have 514 00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:26,880 Speaker 2: one traumatic incident or was it like a continuous cycle 515 00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:29,120 Speaker 2: of traumatizing events? And I was like, oh, this shit 516 00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:31,880 Speaker 2: was continuous, and so I was like, okay, well, a 517 00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:34,840 Speaker 2: lot of times in those situations when you have constant trauma, 518 00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:41,400 Speaker 2: your body develops this response to the trauma, and so 519 00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:44,200 Speaker 2: you're constantly in a stressful situation, a stressful mode, and 520 00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:46,520 Speaker 2: your body learns how to adapt to that and move 521 00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:49,840 Speaker 2: through it. And so I work very well being stressed 522 00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:53,640 Speaker 2: because of my upbringing. Also, there were instances and situations 523 00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:55,800 Speaker 2: that happened that I never had a chance to process 524 00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:58,560 Speaker 2: or let go of. And you ever have a moment 525 00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:02,440 Speaker 2: where you go through something and you feel that frog 526 00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:05,880 Speaker 2: in your throat, you feel your eyes well up, and 527 00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:08,120 Speaker 2: you feel like you have so much to release. Right, 528 00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:10,840 Speaker 2: that is all energy, right, and when you cry, you're 529 00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:14,120 Speaker 2: letting that out, you're expressing it. But let's pretend that 530 00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:17,360 Speaker 2: many of us have probably had situations where you don't 531 00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:19,480 Speaker 2: get a chance to release it, so you stuff that 532 00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:22,600 Speaker 2: shit down. Oh it's going somewhere. Just because you didn't 533 00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:24,720 Speaker 2: see it manifest doesn't mean that it's not there now. 534 00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:28,520 Speaker 2: It's stored in your body somewhere energetically. So that way, 535 00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:31,600 Speaker 2: or that means that when something happens and we're triggered, 536 00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:34,880 Speaker 2: you can easily, just like that, bring up those tears 537 00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:37,240 Speaker 2: because that thing, that energy is still there. And I 538 00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:39,920 Speaker 2: know that I have so much of that energy just 539 00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:43,600 Speaker 2: lodged in me from so many back to back, just 540 00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:47,240 Speaker 2: years and years of trauma and violence and abuse. And 541 00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:50,280 Speaker 2: so I'm at a point now where I've for years, 542 00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:53,240 Speaker 2: I've been struggling with my appetite and I noticed that 543 00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:55,880 Speaker 2: it has to be linked to stress because on vacation. 544 00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:58,720 Speaker 2: I eat fine, no problem. But in my day to day, 545 00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:03,160 Speaker 2: my body has this response where I am constantly in 546 00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:06,480 Speaker 2: stressful situations. Now, something funny happened today, Domind. I wanted 547 00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:07,720 Speaker 2: to share it with you. I wanted to wait until 548 00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:09,520 Speaker 2: we got on air because I wanted to get your perspective. 549 00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:14,920 Speaker 2: It was so deep. So I'm today's a workday, I'm off. 550 00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:18,080 Speaker 2: I'm fucking going crazy at home, Like, Yo, what the 551 00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:20,000 Speaker 2: fuck do I do? I'm bored, I don't know what 552 00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:23,520 Speaker 2: to do. I'm watching reality TV, I'm eating, I'm taking naps, 553 00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:25,960 Speaker 2: but I don't feel like going outside. I'm just chilling. 554 00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:28,400 Speaker 2: But I'm just like, okay, what do I do? 555 00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:28,680 Speaker 1: Right? 556 00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:31,920 Speaker 2: And so the day was quiet. At one point I 557 00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:35,760 Speaker 2: got a text message and some drama had unfolded, and 558 00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:38,760 Speaker 2: the weirdest thing happened. I felt a response to my 559 00:33:38,840 --> 00:33:42,360 Speaker 2: body because my body heart rates sped up and it 560 00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:46,360 Speaker 2: tendseduff and I felt a reaction to my body, and 561 00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:48,840 Speaker 2: part of me like I had this thought, and part 562 00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:51,600 Speaker 2: of me was kind of like, oh shit, there's some excitement, 563 00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:53,800 Speaker 2: even though it may not be good excitement. And then 564 00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:55,719 Speaker 2: let me just tell you, I'm not a person for drama. 565 00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:58,479 Speaker 2: Like I don't do drama, but in this case, it 566 00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:02,400 Speaker 2: was like, Okay, this is something my body's responding. It's 567 00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:05,800 Speaker 2: getting revved up, ready to get in response mode. And 568 00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:07,960 Speaker 2: I kind of liked, Like my body kind of liked 569 00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:10,040 Speaker 2: that because that's what it's used to. And so I 570 00:34:10,080 --> 00:34:11,600 Speaker 2: was like, Okay, I can get out of this boring 571 00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:14,600 Speaker 2: ass rest space where I'm just trying to figure out 572 00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:16,759 Speaker 2: my life because I don't have anything to do. And 573 00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:19,719 Speaker 2: now that there's some drama, I had to process in 574 00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:22,440 Speaker 2: my mind and tell myself like, wait, we're not going 575 00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:24,680 Speaker 2: to get involved and become a savior or get attached 576 00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:27,239 Speaker 2: to the drama it's happening. I'm going to remain at 577 00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:31,360 Speaker 2: peace and okay, figure out if I can help if not, okay, 578 00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:33,600 Speaker 2: but I'm not going to become so engrossed in this 579 00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:36,000 Speaker 2: drama that now I'm stuck back into that. Does that 580 00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:36,480 Speaker 2: make sense? 581 00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:38,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, that makes that makes sense. 582 00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:42,320 Speaker 1: And so that is that's a great notice on your partner, 583 00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:46,600 Speaker 1: right because and the thing is is that had you 584 00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:50,920 Speaker 1: not been in a state of relaxation, had you not 585 00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:55,560 Speaker 1: been in this space of having filling your tank back up, 586 00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:59,360 Speaker 1: you probably would have would not have noticed it, or 587 00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:01,800 Speaker 1: it may have taken can you a little bit longer. 588 00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:05,040 Speaker 3: To notice it, and you would have gotten into. 589 00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:08,960 Speaker 2: That and gotten into response mode, and then your. 590 00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:12,759 Speaker 1: Pipe would have been caged up again, right, And so 591 00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:16,839 Speaker 1: your pipe is getting recalled because you're getting caught back 592 00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:20,640 Speaker 1: up in that drama, right, But because you have been 593 00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:26,760 Speaker 1: in relaxation mode, you're able to prevent that from happening. 594 00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:29,480 Speaker 1: And so I think what that does is just totally 595 00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:36,839 Speaker 1: reinforce what we've been saying all along of relaxing is 596 00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:40,520 Speaker 1: the most productive thing you can do because it has 597 00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:46,320 Speaker 1: a long lasting effect on the rest of your life. 598 00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:50,520 Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, it does. And I think it also a 599 00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:53,280 Speaker 2: lot of this is work. Like what I'm noticing about 600 00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:56,680 Speaker 2: everything in life that we want everything we aspire to have, 601 00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:59,200 Speaker 2: it's work, whether you want to get on a new 602 00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:03,759 Speaker 2: workout plan, diet and exercise, achieve your goals, relax more like, 603 00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:05,759 Speaker 2: it's you have to be intentional about this. And so 604 00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:08,080 Speaker 2: it makes me think about the fact that you know, 605 00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:11,040 Speaker 2: sometimes we may be addicted to drama just because we 606 00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:13,200 Speaker 2: want some excitement and we don't want to be quiet 607 00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:16,319 Speaker 2: and have to you know, silence, silence our thoughts and 608 00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:18,000 Speaker 2: deal with our own stuff, right, and so it's just 609 00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:21,040 Speaker 2: making me me being on the sabbatical and in this 610 00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:24,880 Speaker 2: relaxation sort of forced relaxation mode, is allowing me to 611 00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:29,520 Speaker 2: question and just just consider different things that normally I'm 612 00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:32,200 Speaker 2: too busy to consider. So I do think that relaxation 613 00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:34,759 Speaker 2: is very important, right because we don't want to be 614 00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:37,680 Speaker 2: burnt out. I want to personally, I want to get 615 00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:40,360 Speaker 2: my appetite in order and just be healthy and also 616 00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:44,160 Speaker 2: watch the way that my body is responding to different stimuli. 617 00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:46,080 Speaker 2: And so I think it's it's just really crucial for 618 00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:48,279 Speaker 2: us to figure out what works best for us by 619 00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:49,319 Speaker 2: way of relaxation. 620 00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:53,479 Speaker 1: Yes, and so in terms of thinking about a few 621 00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:57,720 Speaker 1: tips to help get us to that space of true 622 00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:01,239 Speaker 1: like deep relaxation. So one of the things that I 623 00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:06,399 Speaker 1: constantly tell people is that we all say, Okay, I'm 624 00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:10,640 Speaker 1: going to relax in the evening. Well, relaxation in the evening, 625 00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:15,360 Speaker 1: like we said earlier, doesn't look like watching a documentary 626 00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:20,680 Speaker 1: or reading this nonfiction book that's stirring up all these 627 00:37:20,719 --> 00:37:26,080 Speaker 1: emotions and thoughts and keeping us going. Right now, I'm 628 00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:29,440 Speaker 1: not saying that TV is bad. What I'm saying is 629 00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:32,680 Speaker 1: that you have to be intentional about what you're taking in, right, 630 00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:37,000 Speaker 1: So if reality TV allows you to totally zone out 631 00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:39,160 Speaker 1: and you don't get caught up in what you're watching, 632 00:37:40,480 --> 00:37:51,160 Speaker 1: great for me. Comedy so and sometimes it can be 633 00:37:51,239 --> 00:37:54,680 Speaker 1: the most irreverent and sometimes it might be even be 634 00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:59,279 Speaker 1: politically incorrect, and but I allow myself that space to 635 00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:03,080 Speaker 1: kind of turn off that my thinking cap right and 636 00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:08,480 Speaker 1: let myself kind of watch things that truly will make 637 00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:14,839 Speaker 1: me laugh and not have to think. Because they say 638 00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:17,759 Speaker 1: laughter is like the best medicine, and laughter truly is 639 00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:23,799 Speaker 1: in terms of relaxation. Laughter literally send signals to the 640 00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:29,400 Speaker 1: rest of your body to relax literally, and so to 641 00:38:29,480 --> 00:38:32,960 Speaker 1: let your body know that it's at ease, that this environment, 642 00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:36,480 Speaker 1: that the space you're in is safe. And so laughter, 643 00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:39,720 Speaker 1: So finding things that make you laugh, that's. 644 00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:42,520 Speaker 2: A gooing don I would say, I want to say, 645 00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:44,919 Speaker 2: I'm gonna say bubble bath. That we talked about taking 646 00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:47,040 Speaker 2: a bath and taking a bath, I want to say 647 00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:50,600 Speaker 2: being mindful and maybe just meditating or taking some deep breaths, 648 00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:53,560 Speaker 2: because girl, I've taken plenty of baths and my mind 649 00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:55,680 Speaker 2: has been racing the whole time. So if you're it's 650 00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:57,759 Speaker 2: like going to the library and saying you're gonna you know, 651 00:38:57,760 --> 00:38:59,279 Speaker 2: you have a midterm coming up. But if you're not 652 00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:02,600 Speaker 2: studying the life, then all right, you there, But what 653 00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:03,880 Speaker 2: are you doing? You know what I mean? So if 654 00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:06,640 Speaker 2: you're in the bath but you're not relaxing, then what 655 00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:09,600 Speaker 2: are we doing here? Right? So I think that being 656 00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:12,760 Speaker 2: mindful of where your mind is and what I've learned 657 00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:14,919 Speaker 2: with meditation because let me tell you, when I first 658 00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:17,800 Speaker 2: started meditating, I could only meditate for like one minute, 659 00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:20,680 Speaker 2: less than a minute. My attention span is like I'm 660 00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:22,719 Speaker 2: constantly thinking. I'm like what do I do with all 661 00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:25,759 Speaker 2: these thoughts? And the more research I've done, let me 662 00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:27,839 Speaker 2: just say I can meditate for like thirty minutes now, 663 00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:29,560 Speaker 2: which is like a big accomplishment. 664 00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:31,600 Speaker 3: Okay, let's be by. 665 00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:34,120 Speaker 2: Myself or with the guided meditation app which is really great. 666 00:39:34,160 --> 00:39:36,560 Speaker 2: And what I've learned from all these people that meditate 667 00:39:37,040 --> 00:39:40,719 Speaker 2: is they say that when you're meditating, deep breaths are important, right, 668 00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:43,439 Speaker 2: So focus on your breath. That's like the first step. 669 00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:47,640 Speaker 2: Just focus on let it out, right, Just focus on 670 00:39:47,640 --> 00:39:50,439 Speaker 2: your breath. And then when you have thoughts, like don't 671 00:39:50,520 --> 00:39:52,839 Speaker 2: judge yourself. So thoughts are going to come the way 672 00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:55,640 Speaker 2: that I do it. I close my eyes. I envisioned 673 00:39:57,160 --> 00:39:59,319 Speaker 2: my mind is like a you ever go to the 674 00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:01,680 Speaker 2: drive in movie theater. We used to go to the 675 00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:03,279 Speaker 2: drive in theater when I was younger. You know, they 676 00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:05,200 Speaker 2: had a big ass white screen right like in the 677 00:40:05,239 --> 00:40:08,719 Speaker 2: real theater, but it's huge outside. I picture that in 678 00:40:08,800 --> 00:40:10,960 Speaker 2: my mind, and all the thoughts that come across are 679 00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:13,440 Speaker 2: like going across the movie screen. So when things come 680 00:40:13,440 --> 00:40:16,359 Speaker 2: across that are distracting, I just watch it go and 681 00:40:16,400 --> 00:40:19,839 Speaker 2: I say, okay, we're meditating now, we're just gonna let 682 00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:22,080 Speaker 2: it go. And I focus on my breath. So anytime 683 00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:24,719 Speaker 2: something comes up, I'm like, okay, we'll focus on that 684 00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:27,840 Speaker 2: after right now we're meditating, and I continue to meditate 685 00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:30,359 Speaker 2: and just focus on the breath, and it really does help. 686 00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:33,160 Speaker 2: It brings me. It just makes me so relaxed. Right, 687 00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:35,080 Speaker 2: it just brings me down. I'm not stressed out. I'm 688 00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:37,040 Speaker 2: not thinking about my to do list and what I'm 689 00:40:37,040 --> 00:40:39,600 Speaker 2: gonna eat for lunch and if I got a poop, 690 00:40:39,600 --> 00:40:41,239 Speaker 2: I mean whatever. It is like, I'm not thinking about 691 00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:46,719 Speaker 2: all these when you're trying to me, oh God, got 692 00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:49,480 Speaker 2: the bubble guts? I mean whatever, it is like it 693 00:40:49,520 --> 00:40:55,440 Speaker 2: does help. So that's bubble bath, meditation, reiki. I mean, 694 00:40:55,480 --> 00:40:58,360 Speaker 2: be open minded, try all kinds. I mean, whether it's massage, 695 00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:02,840 Speaker 2: I'm gonna try reiki. Talked about therapy therapy in general, 696 00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:06,080 Speaker 2: right even isn't hypnotherapy is a thing, right, yes, hypno therapy. 697 00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:10,719 Speaker 2: I mean whatever is try, whatever is going to just 698 00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:12,680 Speaker 2: try new things. You never know what's gonna work for you. 699 00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:15,000 Speaker 3: Right, Just yeah, just be open. 700 00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:18,879 Speaker 1: I I have some friends that say cleaning is meditative 701 00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:23,319 Speaker 1: and relaxing for them, and so again, whatever it is 702 00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:27,879 Speaker 1: that allows you to decompress, that is what we want 703 00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:30,360 Speaker 1: you to focus on. Whatever is going to help you 704 00:41:31,719 --> 00:41:33,720 Speaker 1: unclog that pipe. 705 00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:38,600 Speaker 2: Yes, I don't know why that may be last, but yes, 706 00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:40,520 Speaker 2: we need you to be relaxed because you'll be able 707 00:41:40,520 --> 00:41:43,600 Speaker 2: to be your best self. So after this episode or 708 00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:46,600 Speaker 2: during this episode, get your relaxation on. Girl. 709 00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:51,560 Speaker 1: Thanks for joining us today in her Space. Please note 710 00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:56,040 Speaker 1: that our show may contain conversations about self help, advice, 711 00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:59,839 Speaker 1: self empowerment, and mental health, but it is by no 712 00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:03,280 Speaker 1: means meant to be a substitute for an ongoing formal 713 00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:08,040 Speaker 1: relationship with a trained mental health provider. If you or 714 00:42:08,120 --> 00:42:11,000 Speaker 1: someone you know is in need of mental health care. 715 00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:15,680 Speaker 1: Please visit the Therapy for Black Girls directory Psychology today 716 00:42:16,239 --> 00:42:18,120 Speaker 1: or contact your insurance provider. 717 00:42:18,760 --> 00:42:20,440 Speaker 2: If you liked what you heard and want to keep 718 00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:23,880 Speaker 2: the conversation going, connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, and 719 00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:29,000 Speaker 2: Twitter at herspace podcast or check out our website at 720 00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:33,719 Speaker 2: herspacepodcast dot com. And before we meet again, repeat after me, 721 00:42:34,360 --> 00:42:36,720 Speaker 2: I know that everything is working out for my good, 722 00:42:37,200 --> 00:42:39,320 Speaker 2: even when things don't go as planned. 723 00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:41,280 Speaker 3: We'll see you next week, Lady.