1
00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,280
Speaker 1: Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife,

2
00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:06,160
Speaker 1: and she coodn't She cleaned and cared for her children

3
00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:08,160
Speaker 1: and the man of the house, and of course she

4
00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:09,480
Speaker 1: didn't talk back.

5
00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:12,039
Speaker 2: She was both obedient and soft by nature.

6
00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:15,480
Speaker 1: She was a good woman who always made good choices.

7
00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:18,560
Speaker 1: We're good Mom's bad choices.

8
00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:21,319
Speaker 3: Who's single mom? Who said fuck the patriarchy shared all

9
00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:22,200
Speaker 3: their bad choices and.

10
00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:23,440
Speaker 1: Sound out they were so bad.

11
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:26,440
Speaker 3: After all, we're experts, overshares and your new besties.

12
00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:27,880
Speaker 1: Sit back and enjoy the ride.

13
00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:28,960
Speaker 3: I can.

14
00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:33,960
Speaker 1: Welcome back to good Mom's bad choices.

15
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:39,559
Speaker 3: I'm Erica and I'm Mila. Happy Wednesday Beaches, Happy mod

16
00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:42,800
Speaker 3: the fucking Wednesday Beaches. It's your favorite day of the week,

17
00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:48,159
Speaker 3: right today Day. I hope you're humping today. Welcome to February.

18
00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:51,479
Speaker 3: It's that short one month the black people get out

19
00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:54,120
Speaker 3: of the year. Even though we celebrate Black History Month,

20
00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:59,480
Speaker 3: a motherfucking month long, celebrating love, We're celebrating blackness, We're

21
00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:04,280
Speaker 3: celebrating black love, celebrating love for ourselves. Is it going

22
00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:08,400
Speaker 3: to be the Journey of love February? I love that, Okay.

23
00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:12,040
Speaker 3: This month's theme is the Journey of love February. Because

24
00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:16,520
Speaker 3: everybody knows love is a journey, Oh God, is it?

25
00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:19,000
Speaker 1: And if anybody knows, always the journey of self love,

26
00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:21,640
Speaker 1: the journey of romantic love, the journey of platonic love,

27
00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:25,400
Speaker 1: the journey and the expansion of love for your children,

28
00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:29,880
Speaker 1: the giving of love to people that irritate the fuck

29
00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:32,120
Speaker 1: out of you. It's all a journey.

30
00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:35,080
Speaker 3: Love is a journey. I think people think it's a destination,

31
00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:38,440
Speaker 3: like when I fall in love, everything's gonna be perfect. No, bitch,

32
00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:42,600
Speaker 3: it's a journey. It's never ending. It's an ongoing process

33
00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:46,240
Speaker 3: of always functioning and operating from a place of love.

34
00:01:46,319 --> 00:01:48,960
Speaker 3: And I don't think it's necessarily always human nature either.

35
00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:52,640
Speaker 1: No, I mean definitely not now in this world and

36
00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:53,680
Speaker 1: day and age where.

37
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:57,640
Speaker 3: Like hate is cool, trauma is so deeply integrated. Not

38
00:01:57,720 --> 00:01:58,480
Speaker 3: hate is cool.

39
00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:00,800
Speaker 1: It is like being a hay. There's low key kind

40
00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:03,400
Speaker 1: of cool. And is it, I mean kind of.

41
00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:10,720
Speaker 3: Interesting? Yeah, obtain love, ism more love. It is definitely

42
00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:16,680
Speaker 3: it's harder on the weeks I'm pmssing. Loving is harder

43
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:20,240
Speaker 3: when I'm pmssing working on it. But how are you?

44
00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:24,200
Speaker 1: I'm good, I'm trying to work on my love space

45
00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:28,040
Speaker 1: today because some little bitches at my daughter's school have

46
00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:28,880
Speaker 1: been fucking with her.

47
00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:29,760
Speaker 3: Is this mom shit?

48
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:31,800
Speaker 1: This might be mom shit, but we can get to

49
00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:33,760
Speaker 1: mom shit later because someone else had some mom shit

50
00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:36,120
Speaker 1: to share. But maybe we'll just do my mom shit

51
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,240
Speaker 1: this week where I'm really trying to move in love

52
00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:40,560
Speaker 1: and give nine year olds and ten year olds grace

53
00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:44,240
Speaker 1: good luck, because I don't know for any moms that

54
00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:48,960
Speaker 1: have encountered bullying at your daughter's or your son's school.

55
00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:51,560
Speaker 1: This is a new this is new territory for me,

56
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:54,840
Speaker 1: and so it's really disturbed me for the especially today,

57
00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:58,560
Speaker 1: I feel a little bit perturbed and disturbed just because

58
00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:01,760
Speaker 1: I feel out of control. There's something what can you do? Yeah,

59
00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:04,280
Speaker 1: there's nothing I can do. I mean I also like

60
00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:09,560
Speaker 1: before today happened, I felt like, okay, like every child

61
00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:11,720
Speaker 1: has a ride of passage where they have to like

62
00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:14,160
Speaker 1: encounter these things, right, Like no one kind of gets

63
00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:19,880
Speaker 1: to escape feeling called out or bullied or whatever the

64
00:03:19,919 --> 00:03:22,600
Speaker 1: case may be. And you don't really know when it's

65
00:03:22,639 --> 00:03:25,520
Speaker 1: going to happen. You just hope that like you've armed

66
00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:29,040
Speaker 1: your kids well and they can sustain and or they

67
00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:33,080
Speaker 1: can stand up for themselves. But then it's like and

68
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:35,480
Speaker 1: then it's also weird when like you're cool with the

69
00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:39,480
Speaker 1: mom whose kid is bullying your kid, Like that adds

70
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:43,080
Speaker 1: an extra layer and it's just I'm about to throw

71
00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:44,240
Speaker 1: all friendships out the window.

72
00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:47,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, like all you bitches, that's difficult.

73
00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:49,120
Speaker 1: But the mom group, I.

74
00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:51,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, because you're not really friends, you're just the mom

75
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:55,680
Speaker 3: friend from school. I've had very little experience in the

76
00:03:55,680 --> 00:03:58,800
Speaker 3: bullying thing. I think like twice. And you know it

77
00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:01,960
Speaker 3: was like one time your house, like years ago, and

78
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:05,720
Speaker 3: I think one time on the over the over the

79
00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:08,760
Speaker 3: FaceTime and I called that mom and it was the

80
00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:11,000
Speaker 3: same mom from your school. I don't even know how

81
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,480
Speaker 3: I got into the how did I get into the beef?

82
00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:14,040
Speaker 3: And I don't even she don't go to that school.

83
00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:17,320
Speaker 3: But yeah, I can only imagine how you're feeling because

84
00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:19,680
Speaker 3: even me as the side mom, I want to go

85
00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:20,800
Speaker 3: over there. I want to trip the.

86
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,760
Speaker 1: Bit on the side mom, the side.

87
00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:26,080
Speaker 3: On the side Mom, I will, I'll listen. I don't

88
00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:27,560
Speaker 3: even go to the school, so I'll go up to

89
00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:30,360
Speaker 3: the campers and trip a bitch. I'll don't mind. Nobody

90
00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:31,880
Speaker 3: could call me, no, if you can suspend me, I

91
00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:33,880
Speaker 3: don't care, I will curse a little bitch out, I

92
00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:36,320
Speaker 3: really will. I have no problem if don't let me

93
00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:37,760
Speaker 3: get in the corner with her, because I'd be like,

94
00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:40,400
Speaker 3: I heard you're a little bitch at school. You think

95
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:40,960
Speaker 3: that's cute.

96
00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:43,120
Speaker 1: I literally told I a reay to call them beach's.

97
00:04:43,839 --> 00:04:46,120
Speaker 1: I was like, we need work on your comebacks. Yeah,

98
00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:48,400
Speaker 1: and you have my permission to say beach. She was like, mom,

99
00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:49,320
Speaker 1: I can't say that.

100
00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:53,040
Speaker 3: I'm like, it's different than bitch.

101
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,520
Speaker 1: It's not a bad word telling your mom told him

102
00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:56,680
Speaker 1: to say.

103
00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:59,479
Speaker 3: You know, I realized I'm the mom. I will go

104
00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:01,880
Speaker 3: to the school and you have said called a bitch

105
00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:04,000
Speaker 3: a bitch, and I will stand on ten toes with you.

106
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:08,840
Speaker 3: Sounds reasonable to me. Oh, are you gonna suspend her? Fine,

107
00:05:08,839 --> 00:05:12,760
Speaker 3: we're going shopping. Oh, then we're going to day off.

108
00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:17,679
Speaker 1: Well, you know, I have been and I'm totally trying

109
00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:20,599
Speaker 1: to get Irian on board with homeschooling, and so I

110
00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:23,440
Speaker 1: was like, maybe this is God like trying to bless us,

111
00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:26,400
Speaker 1: because the one time I did, I like, I've slowly

112
00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:29,440
Speaker 1: been like mentioning it, just in joking form. But then

113
00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:31,720
Speaker 1: the other day she was like, Mommy, I don't want

114
00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:33,719
Speaker 1: to go to school, like I wish that we could

115
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,040
Speaker 1: just like stay home. And then I was like, well,

116
00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:38,840
Speaker 1: you could stay home if we were homeschooling. In fact,

117
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:41,320
Speaker 1: today we could go to the beach. And this was

118
00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:43,720
Speaker 1: before the fires, honestly, and then actually, like the next

119
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:46,400
Speaker 1: day the fire started, which is crazy. She's like, look

120
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:47,960
Speaker 1: it happened. I was like I read, No, this is

121
00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:50,640
Speaker 1: not that. She's like, is this what manifestation?

122
00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:53,279
Speaker 3: Why? What did you say?

123
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,120
Speaker 1: Well, well no, she was just.

124
00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:57,640
Speaker 3: Oh yeah.

125
00:05:57,720 --> 00:05:59,840
Speaker 1: I was like you said that. Yeah. I was like, no, babe,

126
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,600
Speaker 1: But that's why you have to be specific, Like this

127
00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:04,520
Speaker 1: is not bad, honey, this is devastation.

128
00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:06,760
Speaker 3: You do have to be a specific God did say

129
00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:07,280
Speaker 3: being specific.

130
00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:08,880
Speaker 1: But when I told her we could just do homeschooling,

131
00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:11,839
Speaker 1: she literally she started crying. I was like, what the

132
00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:14,080
Speaker 1: fuck is going on? She started crying, I.

133
00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:15,360
Speaker 3: Don't want to be homeschooled.

134
00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:17,640
Speaker 1: Why do you keep saying me homeschooled? And I was like,

135
00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:21,279
Speaker 1: oh my god, relax, I'm just kidding sort of. But

136
00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:25,200
Speaker 1: now with this bullying happening, I'm like, do I just

137
00:06:25,279 --> 00:06:26,960
Speaker 1: let it? Do I do? I kind of let her

138
00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:29,360
Speaker 1: hate school a little bit so that like the homeschooling

139
00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:30,840
Speaker 1: thing sounds like a better option.

140
00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:34,960
Speaker 3: No, I don't think she was bullying she herself.

141
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:37,400
Speaker 1: And then also school suck a little bit. I mean

142
00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:40,479
Speaker 1: those pitches are I don't want new friends, you know.

143
00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:42,400
Speaker 1: I just came up with a great idea. Want to

144
00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:42,880
Speaker 1: hear my idea?

145
00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:48,159
Speaker 3: What is it? Take your half of your highest tuition

146
00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:51,320
Speaker 3: and then just spend it on a homeschool teacher, and

147
00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:54,000
Speaker 3: then Luna and I can share that homeschool teacher.

148
00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:55,159
Speaker 1: I mean I.

149
00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:56,240
Speaker 3: Probably less well.

150
00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:57,440
Speaker 1: I was just what I was trying to tell her.

151
00:06:57,440 --> 00:06:58,880
Speaker 1: I was like, you're still gonna have friends, and I'm

152
00:06:58,920 --> 00:06:59,480
Speaker 1: not gonna.

153
00:06:59,279 --> 00:07:01,640
Speaker 3: Like put you in a home, not me. Reallotting your tuition,

154
00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:05,360
Speaker 3: no kids for us. For the team, you take your

155
00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:06,680
Speaker 3: half of your tuition money and you.

156
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,480
Speaker 1: Spend on support.

157
00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:12,440
Speaker 3: It's a group. Are you my wife or not? And

158
00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:14,400
Speaker 3: then spent at homeschool so we all could live happily

159
00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:15,280
Speaker 3: ever after at the.

160
00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:18,880
Speaker 1: Beach doesn't sound like a bad plan. I could be

161
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:19,480
Speaker 1: up in to it.

162
00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:26,880
Speaker 3: I could. I'll do dance. I'm a cheer and dance instructor.

163
00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:29,520
Speaker 3: Every Luna. It's just us three on the team. Our

164
00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:32,560
Speaker 3: friends are coming over for the competition, so get ready

165
00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:36,840
Speaker 3: were having a recital by me. Also, you know what

166
00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:39,040
Speaker 3: I just thought of as you were tolding the story,

167
00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:42,200
Speaker 3: And I never thought of it this way, just because

168
00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:45,600
Speaker 3: I've this month, I had a pretty terrible PMS. I

169
00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:47,920
Speaker 3: was just a bitch and I just litterally There's nothing

170
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:49,640
Speaker 3: I could do about it. I knew it was happening,

171
00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:52,040
Speaker 3: but I couldn't and I was crying even up to

172
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:54,120
Speaker 3: the point where like I didn't realize there was a

173
00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:57,200
Speaker 3: proposal happening, but I was just in the bathtub, like

174
00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:59,840
Speaker 3: I'm bad at everything. I am a bad girlfriend. I'm

175
00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:04,080
Speaker 3: just bad. And I was crying in Orlando's arms and

176
00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:05,520
Speaker 3: He's like, what the fuck are you talking about? Not

177
00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:08,240
Speaker 3: knowing I was getting engaged in the weekend. But I

178
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:11,520
Speaker 3: wonder if, like as women, we don't we underestimate how

179
00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:15,080
Speaker 3: much hormones even affect us as children. Oh, I mean,

180
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:18,040
Speaker 3: I hear her like crying like that over homeschool, like yes,

181
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:22,560
Speaker 3: a she's nine, But also like as they're coming into puberty,

182
00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:26,320
Speaker 3: like the attitudes, the emotions, like I think that we

183
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:28,840
Speaker 3: bypass the fact that they're even being affected in this

184
00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:31,960
Speaker 3: stage of their lives and that come it takes until

185
00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:34,560
Speaker 3: we're almost fucking forty to be like, what the fuck

186
00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:37,880
Speaker 3: is happening, But it actually starts being implemented at puberty

187
00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:42,200
Speaker 3: and we're not realizing like that that overt emotionalness and

188
00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:44,320
Speaker 3: like not knowing where to put it is probably stems

189
00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:45,480
Speaker 3: from hormones too.

190
00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:48,640
Speaker 1: Absolutely, I mean I think that she was actually hurt. Also, yes,

191
00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:51,400
Speaker 1: the fucking friends are being bitches. You not her friends,

192
00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:53,840
Speaker 1: exactly what I was trying to explain to her lightly,

193
00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:57,800
Speaker 1: but I was just like, yeah, like I don't know,

194
00:08:57,840 --> 00:09:00,720
Speaker 1: it's just it's all very strange to me, how the

195
00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:02,880
Speaker 1: tables are turning. And then I was on the phone

196
00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:06,160
Speaker 1: with her teacher today and she was like everything hit

197
00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:08,280
Speaker 1: the fan today. I'm actually really happy about it because

198
00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:10,120
Speaker 1: I had been like messaging the teacher telling her like,

199
00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:12,400
Speaker 1: over the last few days, Iri has been getting bullied

200
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:13,840
Speaker 1: and she doesn't want me to tell you, but I

201
00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:16,440
Speaker 1: need you to keep in lookout for her and see

202
00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:18,200
Speaker 1: what the fuck is going on. So she calls me

203
00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:20,360
Speaker 1: and then she's like, you know, with my daughter, like

204
00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:22,560
Speaker 1: you know, I've told her that you know, some girls

205
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:24,800
Speaker 1: are just jealous, they're just jealous of you. And I

206
00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:27,760
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, I just like I understand that that

207
00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:29,840
Speaker 1: I know that's not your favorite, that's not I'm like,

208
00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:32,800
Speaker 1: I'm already triggered by that idea too, just because I mean,

209
00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:34,480
Speaker 1: you guys have heard me talk about this on the show,

210
00:09:34,559 --> 00:09:37,280
Speaker 1: Like that was like my mom's angle with women, and

211
00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:41,679
Speaker 1: it really deteriorated my relationship with women and girls growing up.

212
00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:43,360
Speaker 3: Like do you think it affects you now? Like when

213
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,520
Speaker 3: you have beefs with people, do you ever be like

214
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:47,720
Speaker 3: is your first go to be like they're jealous of me?

215
00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:49,959
Speaker 1: No? Not anymore, but it was for a long time,

216
00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:52,600
Speaker 1: Like never, I don't ever think that anymore. I always

217
00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:54,880
Speaker 1: know there's something else. I actually am like, babe, like

218
00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:58,040
Speaker 1: what happened to your childhood? Like that's where my first thing.

219
00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:02,800
Speaker 1: Let's go from the bikini, allow you hold I've been

220
00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:07,320
Speaker 1: holding your breath all day. No, But I was just like, yeah, no,

221
00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:09,040
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna that's not the angle I'm gonna go

222
00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:13,080
Speaker 1: with her. That's that's just not gonna happen. But no,

223
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,120
Speaker 1: even if it is true, I mean perhaps it is,

224
00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:17,760
Speaker 1: and unless I'm really experiencing that and I have facts

225
00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:20,840
Speaker 1: behind this, like I'm not going to do start doing that.

226
00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:25,120
Speaker 1: But anyway, all that to say is that I'm trying

227
00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:29,160
Speaker 1: to I'm trying to access the love within and allow

228
00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:31,800
Speaker 1: the mommy bear in me to just be tame and

229
00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:34,720
Speaker 1: know that this is just a season and it's just

230
00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:36,960
Speaker 1: this week or maybe it will maybe it will, you know,

231
00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:40,680
Speaker 1: transpire and continue on. I don't know, but just having

232
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:44,360
Speaker 1: grace also for like I know, in particular, one of

233
00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:46,440
Speaker 1: the little girls has had a really hard time with

234
00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:49,679
Speaker 1: a parent, and so just like trying to understand and

235
00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:54,840
Speaker 1: be loving even when like my child is like I guess,

236
00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:57,960
Speaker 1: I don't want to say suffering, but she's in pain

237
00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:00,760
Speaker 1: right now, and I'm trying to understand and give give

238
00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:04,360
Speaker 1: the school and these little bitches grace.

239
00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:06,520
Speaker 3: No, I think you're doing the right thing. And I

240
00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:09,240
Speaker 3: think sometimes because you know, I've had conversations with Luna too,

241
00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:12,240
Speaker 3: and I've just had to tell her without telling somebody

242
00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:14,160
Speaker 3: else's business so they won't go back and repeat it,

243
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:17,880
Speaker 3: like hey, you know, you have to consider that people

244
00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:19,960
Speaker 3: are other people are going through things, and they may

245
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,880
Speaker 3: not even realize it. She's probably sad, she's probably hurt

246
00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:26,079
Speaker 3: for other reasons unrelated to you, And sometimes you can't

247
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:27,800
Speaker 3: like most of the times you can't take it personally,

248
00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:30,880
Speaker 3: And then I realize we have this like this very

249
00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:35,000
Speaker 3: important role that we have the ability to plan a

250
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:37,560
Speaker 3: seed right now that in life as she gets older,

251
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:41,000
Speaker 3: when she has problems with bitches, her first reaction like

252
00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:42,599
Speaker 3: ours is not like I'm gonna be punch you in

253
00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:45,440
Speaker 3: the face, but more like, oh, babe, like what's going

254
00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:47,240
Speaker 3: on with you? You know what I mean, especially for

255
00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:49,600
Speaker 3: someone who's like previously been as you know, a friend.

256
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:53,440
Speaker 3: But I think that like, yeah, I realize I'm very

257
00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:55,520
Speaker 3: filly and my mom is very like I'll punch a

258
00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:58,080
Speaker 3: bitch in the face, so so am I. But does

259
00:11:58,120 --> 00:11:58,880
Speaker 3: that really help?

260
00:11:59,040 --> 00:11:59,120
Speaker 1: No?

261
00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:00,760
Speaker 3: You know, like you have to be able to have

262
00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:04,040
Speaker 3: insight to give your kid compassion as they get older,

263
00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:06,120
Speaker 3: so that a they do have the confidence to check

264
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:09,880
Speaker 3: a bit but also to understand that the same I

265
00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:10,640
Speaker 3: got nothing to do with me.

266
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:14,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, I will say that. Throughout this scenario, though, I

267
00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:18,560
Speaker 1: had like a very like proud mom, like this feeling

268
00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:20,280
Speaker 1: of like Okay, I did the right thing, like you

269
00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:23,040
Speaker 1: ever had that happen, where like you handle the situation

270
00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:25,320
Speaker 1: and it's like it actually excites you, like, oh my god,

271
00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:27,760
Speaker 1: this is what parenting is all about, like finally, like

272
00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:32,240
Speaker 1: I get this moment to like re re brand what

273
00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:34,920
Speaker 1: perhaps maybe my mom would have done in this situation

274
00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:37,600
Speaker 1: or what I experienced in this situation, and like totally

275
00:12:37,679 --> 00:12:40,200
Speaker 1: change the narrative around it. And you know, cause at

276
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:41,800
Speaker 1: first I was like, Okay, what am I gonna do?

277
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:43,400
Speaker 1: I'm gonna let the school deal with this. And I

278
00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:44,760
Speaker 1: was like, wait, no, no, she doesn't want me to

279
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:46,760
Speaker 1: do that because already my daughter is like kind of

280
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,600
Speaker 1: you know, to the keeps in like her emotions and

281
00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:51,760
Speaker 1: her feelings. And she really she confided me in this

282
00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:53,320
Speaker 1: and asked me not to share, so I'm like trying

283
00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:57,160
Speaker 1: to also protect her privacy. But I was.

284
00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:58,920
Speaker 3: Really sure you are talking about on a podcast?

285
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:06,760
Speaker 1: I mean, but I was. I. I talked to her

286
00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:11,280
Speaker 1: mostly just about just standing up for herself and like

287
00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:13,120
Speaker 1: that this is an opportunity for you to stand up

288
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:16,439
Speaker 1: for yourself. And you know, ask your friends a question,

289
00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:19,439
Speaker 1: ask them like, hey, like that really hurt my feelings?

290
00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:22,040
Speaker 1: Are we friends? Like That's as simple as it has

291
00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:24,560
Speaker 1: to be, because I can't what the fuck? Would she say?

292
00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:25,400
Speaker 4: No?

293
00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:25,920
Speaker 1: Yes?

294
00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:26,560
Speaker 3: Like oh cool?

295
00:13:26,559 --> 00:13:28,400
Speaker 1: Because I and I was like, then you get your

296
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,520
Speaker 1: answer and then one another thing. I said, just take note.

297
00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:33,400
Speaker 1: I was like, take note because like after the situation

298
00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:35,560
Speaker 1: happened the first time, she's like, oh, we played the

299
00:13:35,559 --> 00:13:39,800
Speaker 1: next day, We're fine. I said, interesting, Okay, take note.

300
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,600
Speaker 3: It's so crazy how how forgiving kids are and how

301
00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:46,120
Speaker 3: unforgiving adults are because you've had I had other experience.

302
00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:49,120
Speaker 1: She's it's forgiving, it's just trying to get through it.

303
00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:52,600
Speaker 1: And also like not wanting to like lose her friend group.

304
00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:55,640
Speaker 1: Not like she's there's a rhythm going, she likes it,

305
00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:58,040
Speaker 1: it's comfortable, and the idea of it.

306
00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:00,720
Speaker 3: Being changed interrupted.

307
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:05,000
Speaker 1: Anyway is more important than like her standing up for herself. Yeah.

308
00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:08,400
Speaker 1: So I really drilled that into her over the last

309
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:10,840
Speaker 1: over this week, and granted I don't think she took

310
00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:13,120
Speaker 1: my advice, but I know that she's listening, and so

311
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:15,680
Speaker 1: that's like the most important thing that like at some

312
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,880
Speaker 1: point she'll come back to this. And I was like,

313
00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:21,960
Speaker 1: do you think your dad lets people punk him? Hell? No?

314
00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:25,200
Speaker 1: And I said do you think I let people punk him? Nah?

315
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,240
Speaker 1: And I was like, you ain't no punk and you're

316
00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:28,800
Speaker 1: not about to let people punk you, period.

317
00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:29,080
Speaker 5: I know.

318
00:14:29,240 --> 00:14:31,840
Speaker 3: And I also thought about too that too, because I'm like,

319
00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:36,240
Speaker 3: the blackway is you better not be letting anybody fucking

320
00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:37,880
Speaker 3: punk you because I'll punk you.

321
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:39,920
Speaker 1: Well, that's kind of like the angle that I took

322
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:42,680
Speaker 1: on in a lighter lef so very.

323
00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:44,120
Speaker 3: Like, actually she needs compassionate with the.

324
00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:48,280
Speaker 1: Diet version of it was compassionate, but also like, yeah, nah,

325
00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:50,120
Speaker 1: this is not gonna do You're not you don't come

326
00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:53,000
Speaker 1: from a lineage of women that take shit, so you're

327
00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:55,600
Speaker 1: not about taking shit. Fuck that you have no problem

328
00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:58,880
Speaker 1: telling you what you read, so like, we're not about

329
00:14:58,880 --> 00:14:59,160
Speaker 1: to do that.

330
00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:01,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, And you know what, I think we sometimes be

331
00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:03,720
Speaker 3: like a lot of times parents rushing under the carpet

332
00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:06,120
Speaker 3: because there's other things going on. Kids will be kids,

333
00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:09,000
Speaker 3: girls will be girls type shit. But I'm just realizing,

334
00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:11,960
Speaker 3: like those things, those little small things like plant seeds

335
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:14,400
Speaker 3: and even I'm thinking in our book, I wrote in

336
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:17,240
Speaker 3: like the first I don't know, like chapter or two chapters,

337
00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:19,440
Speaker 3: there was a specific part in my life. I was

338
00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:21,560
Speaker 3: like in sixth grade and these girls were like wanting

339
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,400
Speaker 3: to fight me. And I don't know why this was

340
00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:25,280
Speaker 3: significant when I was writing and reading the book, but

341
00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:27,760
Speaker 3: I just remembered having this option like either I'm going

342
00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:30,040
Speaker 3: to be scared because I was or I'm going to

343
00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:31,920
Speaker 3: go meet the bitch, and I knew I had to

344
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,800
Speaker 3: go meet the bitch, you know. I was like, this

345
00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:35,840
Speaker 3: is not going to look good permanently if I just

346
00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:38,760
Speaker 3: like fear. Like I just remember so vividly clear, and

347
00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:41,640
Speaker 3: that was my first time having the understanding and the

348
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:45,240
Speaker 3: memory of choosing to stand up for myself and choosing

349
00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:46,520
Speaker 3: to say fuck the fear.

350
00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:48,800
Speaker 1: You don't forget it. You don't forget that moment, because

351
00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:51,600
Speaker 1: I think all of us like when whenever that's happened,

352
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:53,840
Speaker 1: you remember that shit. I remember when I did it.

353
00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:55,800
Speaker 1: And by the way, y'all, if you haven't read our book,

354
00:15:57,680 --> 00:16:00,560
Speaker 1: A Good Mom's Guide to Making Bad Choices do. You

355
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,880
Speaker 1: can buy this on Amazon. You can listen on audible.

356
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,840
Speaker 1: Listen to our Sexy Voices on audible. And it's an

357
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:09,800
Speaker 1: easy read. It's really heartfelt. It's very informative and very

358
00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:11,320
Speaker 1: honest and honest and will help you.

359
00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:13,520
Speaker 5: Anyway.

360
00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:17,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm sorry you're going through that. It's like the

361
00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:19,760
Speaker 3: growing pains of the growing pains of the children that

362
00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:22,080
Speaker 3: you're raising. You know, you feel what they feel, and

363
00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:24,440
Speaker 3: it's this is not gonna be the last time, and

364
00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:26,840
Speaker 3: it maybe won't be bullying because I will beat a

365
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:30,200
Speaker 3: bitch's ass, especially as they get older. But but also

366
00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:33,480
Speaker 3: like heartbreaks, you know, relationships are gonna be those things.

367
00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:35,440
Speaker 1: Oh my god, if a nigga breaks my baby's heart,

368
00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:38,960
Speaker 1: we won't stay out of it. Lord gave me strength.

369
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:40,040
Speaker 1: Imis stay out of it.

370
00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:44,360
Speaker 3: You know, it's you have to, they have to.

371
00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:46,120
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

372
00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:48,640
Speaker 3: I remember one time somebody was bullying. Did you see that?

373
00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:50,680
Speaker 1: Did you see the news that red men apparently punched

374
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:57,360
Speaker 1: huh oh method man. I supposedly punched his daughter's boyfriend

375
00:16:57,360 --> 00:16:58,720
Speaker 1: in the face six times at the gym.

376
00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:03,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I said my past and said, sounds justified

377
00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:06,399
Speaker 3: to me. I was like yeah, And then also there

378
00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:07,480
Speaker 3: was yeah, there's supposedly it.

379
00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:09,520
Speaker 1: Didn't happen, and supposedly the either side it didn't happen.

380
00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:11,720
Speaker 1: But if it did, I mean shit, you.

381
00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:15,600
Speaker 3: Know, I wish my dad would have punched more people.

382
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:17,399
Speaker 1: So I mean, so do I I wish sometimes my

383
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:19,400
Speaker 1: dad would have protected me more because a lot of times,

384
00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:22,080
Speaker 1: whenever I came to him with heartbreak, he didn't have

385
00:17:22,119 --> 00:17:22,440
Speaker 1: a lot.

386
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:23,879
Speaker 3: Of remorse for me because he's a man, and he

387
00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:25,639
Speaker 3: figured that's not gonna be He wasn't wrong, It was

388
00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:27,160
Speaker 3: not gonna be the first or last time it happened.

389
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:30,000
Speaker 1: Ye, but a girl needs protection from her father. And

390
00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:32,359
Speaker 1: like I just I think that that also sent me

391
00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:35,840
Speaker 1: down a path of like just accepting a lot of

392
00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:38,320
Speaker 1: things for men. And like you know, obviously this month

393
00:17:38,359 --> 00:17:41,119
Speaker 1: we're talking about love and like honestly the origins of

394
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,320
Speaker 1: our love space, and like when I think about that,

395
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:47,560
Speaker 1: like that really hat does and has impacted me as

396
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:51,400
Speaker 1: an adult on like how I view Like I don't

397
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:53,720
Speaker 1: want to say my worthiness because it's but it's more

398
00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:55,840
Speaker 1: so like that I'm normalized?

399
00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:56,800
Speaker 3: Am I being protected?

400
00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:59,600
Speaker 1: Normalizing certain things that are not that shouldn't be normal?

401
00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:02,320
Speaker 1: Just be because my dad said, this is what niggas

402
00:18:02,359 --> 00:18:05,240
Speaker 1: do you know? And and till this day he'll stand,

403
00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:08,240
Speaker 1: he'll still he'll still stand ten toes down on that.

404
00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:09,600
Speaker 1: I can't wait to have him back on the show.

405
00:18:10,119 --> 00:18:12,199
Speaker 1: If you guys haven't listened to our episode we did

406
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:13,600
Speaker 1: a few years ago with my dad. I think it's

407
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:18,159
Speaker 1: called like groupies football and I don't know, like regret

408
00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:21,760
Speaker 1: or something with my dad on it where he talks

409
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:24,000
Speaker 1: just about his views. Even I think I think he

410
00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:25,680
Speaker 1: might have even mentioned that, and if not, we need

411
00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:27,760
Speaker 1: to dive into that when he comes back on. No,

412
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:32,520
Speaker 1: we did mention that, but yeah, he's he's very much

413
00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:40,360
Speaker 1: like a very strong voice in all men sheet and.

414
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:40,880
Speaker 3: He's an advocate.

415
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:44,840
Speaker 1: Even the bus driver. It doesn't matter, Yeah, it doesn't matter,

416
00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:46,800
Speaker 1: Like it doesn't matter if you're rich poor in between,

417
00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:54,040
Speaker 1: and like that conversation happened when I was in high school.

418
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:56,320
Speaker 1: I was like, my yeah, it was like a really

419
00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:59,040
Speaker 1: horrible breakup that I was going through, and I remember

420
00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:01,720
Speaker 1: he's telling telling me that, and it's stuck and he's

421
00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:04,640
Speaker 1: and he continued to tell me that even even when

422
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:07,399
Speaker 1: my baby daddy like had a baby on me, although

423
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:08,719
Speaker 1: he did have a little bit. He was like, well,

424
00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:11,119
Speaker 1: that's kind of crazy. We don't bring babies home, like

425
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:14,880
Speaker 1: we just we cheat in secrecy and we might get caught,

426
00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:17,280
Speaker 1: but we don't. We don't co create, we don't.

427
00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:19,760
Speaker 3: Bring receipts, lifelong receipts to the cheating.

428
00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:24,160
Speaker 1: What the fuck? But yeah, I think that's that's definitely

429
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:27,800
Speaker 1: something that is a real, a real thing.

430
00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:31,320
Speaker 3: So I don't know, Yeah, I mean then and then

431
00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:34,080
Speaker 3: to think about it from the parents point of view,

432
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:36,800
Speaker 3: like just like method Man has been on the news

433
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,560
Speaker 3: for punching the guy six times. Like if your dad

434
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:41,080
Speaker 3: would have taken action, he would have been on the

435
00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:43,280
Speaker 3: shade room if there was a shade room there. Like you,

436
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:46,080
Speaker 3: as a parent, you literally can't go fuck up a kid,

437
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:49,080
Speaker 3: you know. But I have seen in my childhood, like

438
00:19:49,359 --> 00:19:52,560
Speaker 3: one of my best friend's moms pulled a little nakedbie

439
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:56,080
Speaker 3: his sweatshirt string and got in his face and was like,

440
00:19:56,359 --> 00:19:58,960
Speaker 3: I'll fuck you up, And I was like, that seems fair.

441
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:01,920
Speaker 3: So I feel like I don't know if that should

442
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:03,639
Speaker 3: have never been an example in my head because if

443
00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:06,640
Speaker 3: somebody fucks with Luna, I'll pull your fucking sweatshirt string

444
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:10,320
Speaker 3: and get in that motherfucking face because I didn't hit you, true,

445
00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:13,840
Speaker 3: but you know it's sticky, it's sticky area. Just so

446
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:16,800
Speaker 3: you guys know, we are not advising that you beat

447
00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:19,760
Speaker 3: up any kids. Oh, these are very bad choices. Don't

448
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:22,200
Speaker 3: trip or beat up any kids. Maybe get this close

449
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:23,120
Speaker 3: to their face though.

450
00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:26,639
Speaker 1: Speaking of bad choices, I think we have doing a

451
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:27,880
Speaker 1: bad choice of the week.

452
00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:33,080
Speaker 4: Day mom not a bad mom, but a bad mom,

453
00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:37,800
Speaker 4: so good how.

454
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:42,840
Speaker 3: Put my girls to bed earlier this week? Then change

455
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:46,040
Speaker 3: into my lingerie, so be, so me and my hesbie

456
00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:49,760
Speaker 3: could have nasty time. Hesbie, it's a hesbe? Is that

457
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:50,280
Speaker 3: a husband?

458
00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:51,080
Speaker 1: A husband? Bae?

459
00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:54,720
Speaker 3: Oh okay, my oldest woke up before we got started,

460
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:56,600
Speaker 3: so then I had to tuck her back in bed,

461
00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:58,879
Speaker 3: but forgot to put on my robe before and she

462
00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:01,920
Speaker 3: saw me half naked and lingerie. Now she's been pissed

463
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:04,320
Speaker 3: off at me ever since we're baby.

464
00:21:04,359 --> 00:21:05,400
Speaker 1: At least that's all she saw.

465
00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:10,560
Speaker 3: Shit, I mean, how old is she? And second, you

466
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:14,399
Speaker 3: know what, I think this is notoriously the problem. Moms

467
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:17,120
Speaker 3: are always trying to hide that were sexual beings and

468
00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:19,959
Speaker 3: you're married and she's the product of this love. And

469
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,359
Speaker 3: not to say you got to walk away walk around

470
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:28,439
Speaker 3: the house in your lingerie, but like you're a wife

471
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:31,080
Speaker 3: and you're a woman, and you were sexy shit at night,

472
00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:33,400
Speaker 3: and you know what, And I just feel like, yeah,

473
00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:35,600
Speaker 3: I think we get so weird around it instead of

474
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:37,159
Speaker 3: just being like this is yeah, I got dressed up

475
00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:40,720
Speaker 3: for daddy one time we were driving by a lingerie store.

476
00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:42,720
Speaker 1: I think that would take a lot for most women

477
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:46,800
Speaker 1: to say, an everyday woman who whose daughter probably never

478
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:47,919
Speaker 1: even seen her ass naked.

479
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:50,119
Speaker 3: I'm just I'm just lightly suggesting me.

480
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:51,800
Speaker 1: I don't. I'm not disagreeing with you. I think that

481
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:54,040
Speaker 1: there's I think there's a lot of I think there's

482
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:56,080
Speaker 1: a lot of future healing in that that kids don't

483
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,040
Speaker 1: even realize they're getting. Like they might not understand in

484
00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:00,080
Speaker 1: the moment, but later on when they were adults and

485
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:01,639
Speaker 1: they say, oh, my god, like, yeah, I grew up

486
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:03,560
Speaker 1: in a house where like my parents made out. I

487
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:05,920
Speaker 1: grew up in a house where like I saw the love.

488
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:08,240
Speaker 1: I saw the love. And then in the in the moment,

489
00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:11,040
Speaker 1: it's like, ill, gross, But in the future, when your

490
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:13,720
Speaker 1: parents are still happily married, you're like, and then why

491
00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:18,960
Speaker 1: you have a happy perception around what healthy love looks

492
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,520
Speaker 1: like because you experienced it in your household.

493
00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:24,479
Speaker 3: It's different and it requires that you like you're like

494
00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:27,320
Speaker 3: you you have the conversation and you'd be like, oh, like,

495
00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:29,919
Speaker 3: are you feeling weird because I'm you know, whatever it

496
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,000
Speaker 3: is about my outfit. It's like, yeah, I got dressed

497
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:33,560
Speaker 3: up for Daddy last night because we were, you know,

498
00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:35,719
Speaker 3: having some alone time. And I noticed one time we

499
00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:37,800
Speaker 3: were driving by a lingerie store on like Ventura and

500
00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:41,000
Speaker 3: Van Eys and Linda was like out the window, like

501
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:42,960
Speaker 3: you should get something for there for there for a

502
00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:45,119
Speaker 3: landout to wear for a Lando And I was like,

503
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:47,399
Speaker 3: oh wait, you.

504
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:48,119
Speaker 1: Know what's so funny?

505
00:22:48,119 --> 00:22:49,919
Speaker 3: And I was like, why is she saying this to me?

506
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:52,600
Speaker 3: And I guess I should be proud because she because

507
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:54,960
Speaker 3: she knows that that's like a part of it. But

508
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:57,520
Speaker 3: I was just like, I literally was.

509
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:09,960
Speaker 5: Okay, okay, okay.

510
00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:18,000
Speaker 1: Wait, So when after your engagement, when they came back

511
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:22,719
Speaker 1: to my house, Luna was like, Erica, why did I

512
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:24,359
Speaker 1: I thought I was gonna spend the night at my house,

513
00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:26,000
Speaker 1: Like why am I going to your house? We're in

514
00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:28,800
Speaker 1: the car, and I was like, because we just decided

515
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:30,840
Speaker 1: to come to my house. And she was like, but

516
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:33,560
Speaker 1: like I like your house and everything, Like she literally

517
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:35,439
Speaker 1: said this, I like your house and everything, but like

518
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:37,439
Speaker 1: I don't get it, Like why do I need to

519
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:39,840
Speaker 1: come to your house? Like we were getting ready for bed,

520
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,280
Speaker 1: and I said, well, because your mom and Orlandos got

521
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:45,480
Speaker 1: engaged and they probably want to be alone and have

522
00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:48,600
Speaker 1: spent this moment together. And then Iri goes, yeah, like

523
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:51,439
Speaker 1: a honeymoon sort of. And I was like, what the

524
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:53,720
Speaker 1: fuck does First of all, what does she think that means,

525
00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:57,000
Speaker 1: And then like I know Luna knows better than like

526
00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:58,440
Speaker 1: I know she knows or maybe not, maybe.

527
00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:01,760
Speaker 3: She didn't know. Do you think I she's traumatized? Do

528
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:04,120
Speaker 3: you think I like traumatized her by like making her leave?

529
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:06,200
Speaker 3: And like does she think that now we're engaged, so

530
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:07,879
Speaker 3: we're gonna almost have to be alone or something?

531
00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:10,119
Speaker 1: Oh no, that's not that's not what I took. No,

532
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:12,520
Speaker 1: I know, I know you didn't that, but my mind

533
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:14,719
Speaker 1: is overthinking, like what does she think this means?

534
00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:17,399
Speaker 3: And like is she's like is she scared? Like you

535
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:19,240
Speaker 3: know what I mean? Like sometimes there's things that happen

536
00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:21,800
Speaker 3: in adulthood and you understand, but you don't understand.

537
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:23,159
Speaker 1: Well, have you had a conversation with her?

538
00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:25,360
Speaker 3: But what this means a little bit? But I didn't

539
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:27,879
Speaker 3: want to plant my own fears in seeds and like

540
00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:29,800
Speaker 3: maybe she's not thinking about it at all, So I

541
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:31,040
Speaker 3: was just like, let me shut the fuck up.

542
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:33,800
Speaker 1: You know, well, I think that's not it's not necessarily

543
00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:37,840
Speaker 1: about planting seeds, but like reassurance, it's more about reassurances,

544
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:40,080
Speaker 1: Like I'm so excited in this new chapter of our life.

545
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:42,399
Speaker 1: I want you to know, like every nothing changes, like

546
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:45,200
Speaker 1: it's just that we are, like, you know, furthering our

547
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:48,520
Speaker 1: our family life, like you know, we're solidified as like

548
00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:50,840
Speaker 1: a real family unit, and not that we weren't already,

549
00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:52,960
Speaker 1: but like we're going to celebrate our love and like

550
00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:55,919
Speaker 1: you're part of that. I know, because instead I'm like,

551
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:58,520
Speaker 1: not like, are you okay? Do you think that Mommy's

552
00:24:58,560 --> 00:24:59,320
Speaker 1: going to be away now?

553
00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:00,560
Speaker 3: Because I was just.

554
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:01,800
Speaker 1: Like that would be planting seed.

555
00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:03,880
Speaker 3: I was like, are you okay? Is everything okay? Because

556
00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:04,960
Speaker 3: she was mad at me the other night, I like,

557
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:06,520
Speaker 3: what if it's that? And I was like I wanted

558
00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:07,840
Speaker 3: to ask her, but I was like no, and I

559
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:09,720
Speaker 3: was like, are you feeling weird about anything?

560
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:11,520
Speaker 1: Why did you ask her?

561
00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:13,520
Speaker 3: I don't know because I didn't want to plant any

562
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:14,639
Speaker 3: seed and I don't know how to say it, so

563
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:16,560
Speaker 3: I was just like, are you feeling weird about anything?

564
00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:18,720
Speaker 3: She was mad at me about being on my phone

565
00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:21,240
Speaker 3: too much, but I just was like like a little

566
00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:24,720
Speaker 3: bit panicking, But yeah, I just it is interesting, you

567
00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:27,640
Speaker 3: know how we perceive things, the conversations we don't have,

568
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:31,679
Speaker 3: and like, yeah, the lingerie thing, it's hilarious. And also

569
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:35,080
Speaker 3: I was asking Erica this before we started the episode,

570
00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:37,280
Speaker 3: because you know, we're talking about love this month and

571
00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:40,080
Speaker 3: about our personal journey and love. And I was just

572
00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:42,879
Speaker 3: like asking her, Dan, what did I ask you? Not

573
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:44,040
Speaker 3: even high fuck.

574
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:49,200
Speaker 1: You asked me something.

575
00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:54,399
Speaker 3: I asked you something about Oh, I asked you, do

576
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:56,679
Speaker 3: you think that your mom taught you how to be

577
00:25:56,840 --> 00:25:58,840
Speaker 3: a wife or a girlfriend? Like did you see your

578
00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:01,040
Speaker 3: mom show up in a way that you took like

579
00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:03,639
Speaker 3: you had an example and so in like those are

580
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:06,280
Speaker 3: things that you understood as you got older. And she

581
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:08,199
Speaker 3: was like, no, you know, And I was just like

582
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:10,760
Speaker 3: with some of my friends, I know that their moms

583
00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:15,000
Speaker 3: specifically taught them how to be wives and like caretakers,

584
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:16,919
Speaker 3: and I don't know if I didn't really get that.

585
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:19,280
Speaker 3: So I was wondering if you got that from your mom,

586
00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:24,000
Speaker 3: like especially coming from like Latina, like you know, heritage

587
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:27,440
Speaker 3: that's very like like cultural. And even my other friend

588
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:30,240
Speaker 3: her mom's Asian and her her mom was Asian, and

589
00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:36,760
Speaker 3: so I see that like that.

590
00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:35,240
Speaker 1: That like.

591
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:39,479
Speaker 3: You know that that traditional wife role where you take

592
00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:41,680
Speaker 3: care of the husband in a specific way.

593
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:45,280
Speaker 1: I think that the women in my family, specifically on

594
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:47,919
Speaker 1: the Mexican side of my family, they didn't get that

595
00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:53,240
Speaker 1: bug I even think about my grandmother, like she had

596
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:56,359
Speaker 1: two husbands left either one of them not evenly giving

597
00:26:56,359 --> 00:27:00,560
Speaker 1: a fuck her her mom, same kind of same thing,

598
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:06,240
Speaker 1: like they were never the family husband dynamic wasn't really

599
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:09,760
Speaker 1: the priority. And now even thinking more about my mom

600
00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:13,639
Speaker 1: and her journey, because she's been with my stepdad for

601
00:27:16,119 --> 00:27:19,040
Speaker 1: twenty eight years or something like that. They're not married,

602
00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:22,280
Speaker 1: they're not technically married. They are married, but there's been

603
00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:24,320
Speaker 1: no married. There's been no wedding, there's been no celebration,

604
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:27,639
Speaker 1: there's been no sacred union, no nothing. It's just a

605
00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:31,160
Speaker 1: ring that she doesn't even wear. And I think about

606
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:32,440
Speaker 1: when I was a child, she always told me she

607
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:34,320
Speaker 1: didn't want to be married. She told me she didn't

608
00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:40,320
Speaker 1: believe in marriage. And then later on a few years ago,

609
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:42,000
Speaker 1: this is not a few years ago, this is a

610
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:47,000
Speaker 1: while ago, she told me that she did want to

611
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:50,639
Speaker 1: get married. He just never asked again again, Yeah, And

612
00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:53,440
Speaker 1: I was like what, like he proposed and then they

613
00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:56,520
Speaker 1: never talked about it again, and like like she I

614
00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:58,520
Speaker 1: think she was waiting for him. I think because she

615
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:03,040
Speaker 1: has fear around marriage, she was wanting him to like

616
00:28:03,119 --> 00:28:05,840
Speaker 1: really ten Shale, even though he did fucking initiate. He

617
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:07,639
Speaker 1: got on one kneed and fucking bought a ring and

618
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:10,280
Speaker 1: did it. Were you there? Yeah, he asked for my

619
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,520
Speaker 1: you know, he asked for my blessing or whatever. But

620
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:15,399
Speaker 1: I think because of that, I carry that with me.

621
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:17,680
Speaker 1: I was very much like, I don't ever want to

622
00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:19,600
Speaker 1: have kids, I don't ever want to get married very much.

623
00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:22,160
Speaker 1: Never was like I want to be a wife. No,

624
00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:24,120
Speaker 1: I don't want to be a girlfriend. Yeah, I love

625
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:26,320
Speaker 1: love love, I want to be a girlfriend. I literally

626
00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:30,240
Speaker 1: never thought anything past the girlfriend phase, Like I don't

627
00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:32,280
Speaker 1: know why, like it, did I want forever, yes, but

628
00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:37,480
Speaker 1: I didn't associate marriage with forever forever. And you know,

629
00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:39,840
Speaker 1: even now looking at my mom and her relationship, like

630
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:41,880
Speaker 1: they have a really great friendship. They've been together for

631
00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:43,560
Speaker 1: a really long time, They've shown up for each other

632
00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:45,960
Speaker 1: in different ways. So there is I have, I guess,

633
00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:50,760
Speaker 1: had the the I have had the example of what

634
00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:54,760
Speaker 1: partnership looks like in my house, but it wasn't necessarily

635
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:58,000
Speaker 1: under the guise of marriage, and like this like this

636
00:28:58,120 --> 00:29:02,080
Speaker 1: like deep understanding of what that actually means, I guess

637
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:02,800
Speaker 1: in society.

638
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:07,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so interesting, like you don't even recognize you

639
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:09,440
Speaker 3: haven't been taught something until you're in the position and

640
00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 3: you're like, do I know what the fuck I'm doing,

641
00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:15,280
Speaker 3: you know, and like it's just some woman, you know,

642
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:17,400
Speaker 3: Like and I just wonder our perceptions of what like

643
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:19,800
Speaker 3: marriage and love is and like how to be a wife,

644
00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:22,440
Speaker 3: and is that something like we're supposed to teach our girls,

645
00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:24,520
Speaker 3: you know? And I was just like so interesting. My

646
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:26,440
Speaker 3: dad made a comment to me a few years ago,

647
00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:29,040
Speaker 3: and it stuck with me because I'd never heard him

648
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:31,720
Speaker 3: say anything like that, and like, I think he was

649
00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:33,720
Speaker 3: like seeing, first of all, my parents are still married. Okay,

650
00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:35,479
Speaker 3: they've been together for four hundred years. All they do

651
00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:37,600
Speaker 3: is fight, and they still fuck around and they still

652
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:41,560
Speaker 3: live together sometimes it's really weird. But he was seeing

653
00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:44,200
Speaker 3: someone at the time, and I think me and my

654
00:29:44,240 --> 00:29:47,360
Speaker 3: mom are from Philly, so she's about that life. And

655
00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:49,720
Speaker 3: I think she had told me something the lady said.

656
00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:51,680
Speaker 3: This is years ago. I can't even remember. I remember this.

657
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:57,040
Speaker 3: I called the lady and I cursed her out, and yeah, okay,

658
00:29:57,440 --> 00:29:59,600
Speaker 3: this is like very much into adulthood. Like I don't

659
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:01,760
Speaker 3: know why in my parents' business to this degree as

660
00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:05,920
Speaker 3: a fucking in my late twenties, but my dad was like,

661
00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:09,680
Speaker 3: you know, your mom never was affectionate towards me. Your

662
00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:12,440
Speaker 3: mom never showed me affection. She's never been like soft

663
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:14,600
Speaker 3: with me. And I was just like looking at him,

664
00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:18,000
Speaker 3: like what the fuck are you talking about? Weak ass niggid?

665
00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:22,760
Speaker 3: But then I later realized like, oh wow, like is

666
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:27,479
Speaker 3: that something I've never seen? And like sometimes but not really,

667
00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:29,920
Speaker 3: and then like how does that affect me? And who

668
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:31,480
Speaker 3: I show up as and how I am in a

669
00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:34,600
Speaker 3: relationship and like my go to I and like even

670
00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:37,720
Speaker 3: in him saying it, like my dad's very manipulative, but

671
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:39,920
Speaker 3: he's also very charming, and I knew he wasn't lying.

672
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:43,320
Speaker 3: And then for the first time, like after it settled in,

673
00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:46,160
Speaker 3: like I had some compassion for him a little bit,

674
00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:51,000
Speaker 3: you know in that, But it was just interesting to

675
00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:53,440
Speaker 3: me that I had never noticed it before until he

676
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:56,920
Speaker 3: mentioned it. So it's just like, yeah, as we talk

677
00:30:56,960 --> 00:31:01,120
Speaker 3: about our journey of love and as I, you know,

678
00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:05,040
Speaker 3: embark on this journey of marriage and can we wait

679
00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:07,680
Speaker 3: because last episode La didn't have her ring on, which

680
00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:09,640
Speaker 3: is crazy she had to go get her resize.

681
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:11,520
Speaker 1: Can we please get a ring cam. We need a

682
00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:14,400
Speaker 1: ring cam, We need the ring cam.

683
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:20,240
Speaker 3: I'm going to be a whizz off whizz off. So yeah,

684
00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:23,120
Speaker 3: I just even that night and even the next morning,

685
00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:26,880
Speaker 3: as I'm like processing that all this has happened, you know,

686
00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:29,920
Speaker 3: because it did. It happen so fast, I'm like, my

687
00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:32,160
Speaker 3: friends are here, I'm getting hugs. Oh shit, Oh my god,

688
00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:35,160
Speaker 3: there's a ring. Look at it. And I was just like,

689
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:37,680
Speaker 3: oh my god, Like what does this mean now? You know,

690
00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:42,120
Speaker 3: like officially, I think this is actually the physical representation

691
00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:48,080
Speaker 3: that I needed. That bitch, you are getting older. I

692
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:50,680
Speaker 3: have been fighting it, you know, like I am clinging

693
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:52,680
Speaker 3: to youth, like I'm the fucking fountain of youth. And

694
00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:55,400
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, like there are plans that need to

695
00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:58,360
Speaker 3: be in action because you're getting older and life is

696
00:31:58,400 --> 00:31:59,959
Speaker 3: evolving and things are changing.

697
00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:06,000
Speaker 1: You've mentioned before how in your history of love and relationships,

698
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:09,320
Speaker 1: even though I know that you maybe didn't see like

699
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:11,840
Speaker 1: a softness or whatever in your household, you still had

700
00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:14,160
Speaker 1: your parents lived together and there was obviously they were

701
00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:18,360
Speaker 1: married that growing up you wanted to be a housewife

702
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:23,960
Speaker 1: and you wanted like that's what you wanted, Like does this, yeah,

703
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:27,800
Speaker 1: does this somehow like feed you in a way, like

704
00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:30,440
Speaker 1: feed that version of yourself in some way, Like does

705
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:33,600
Speaker 1: it feel like validating to you in that way? Because

706
00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:36,280
Speaker 1: maybe I don't know if at some point you kind

707
00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:38,479
Speaker 1: of wrote that off and decided like that wasn't going

708
00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:41,800
Speaker 1: to be necessarily like your story or maybe not. I

709
00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:43,440
Speaker 1: don't know, Like how does it feel.

710
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:47,120
Speaker 3: It feels like a little bit surreal, like I'm having

711
00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:50,520
Speaker 3: an out of body experience, like I'm experiencing and I

712
00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:52,440
Speaker 3: know it's happening, and I know I'm in love, and

713
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:55,800
Speaker 3: then I'm like, but I feel like, oh shit, it

714
00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:58,800
Speaker 3: is me. It is happening to me, and like I

715
00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:01,800
Speaker 3: think I'm still integrating like the pro like that it's happening,

716
00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:03,800
Speaker 3: and like even to the point where even in the

717
00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:06,720
Speaker 3: moment when I saw the ring, I was like, oh god,

718
00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:10,720
Speaker 3: it's huge, Like it's so big, not like it's mine

719
00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:13,280
Speaker 3: and I'm gonna I'm like maybe I didn't. Maybe it's

720
00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:16,080
Speaker 3: somewhere subconsciously like I didn't. I don't believe that I

721
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:19,240
Speaker 3: deserve that, you know, like like oh wow, that's large,

722
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:23,719
Speaker 3: you know, And I don't know. Yeah, I've had to

723
00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:25,680
Speaker 3: like kind of like dig into that, like peel the

724
00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:28,280
Speaker 3: layers back a little bit. But no, I'm excited and

725
00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:30,880
Speaker 3: I think it's settling in and I knew it was happening,

726
00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:34,840
Speaker 3: and it still feels different than it actually being in

727
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:36,960
Speaker 3: the happening. But I did want to be a housewife,

728
00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:39,280
Speaker 3: and I'm really excited to be a wife, and I

729
00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:42,400
Speaker 3: just think I had a picture perfect idea of how

730
00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:46,280
Speaker 3: my life was going to go, and I didn't necessarily

731
00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:50,400
Speaker 3: as I was saying, I just wanted to be taken

732
00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:52,960
Speaker 3: care of and like be pretty and have a big

733
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:55,120
Speaker 3: house and be taken care of, but not like all

734
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:57,120
Speaker 3: the things that were going to go into that. And

735
00:33:57,160 --> 00:33:59,160
Speaker 3: I realized I probably wanted those things because of my

736
00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:02,280
Speaker 3: trauma of my parents fighting all the time growing up.

737
00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:07,400
Speaker 3: So yeah, I guess I am actively healing the things

738
00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:10,279
Speaker 3: that I thought that were broken in me or the

739
00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:13,920
Speaker 3: things that I didn't think that I could manifest or

740
00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:16,560
Speaker 3: have for myself. Kind of like when Zosia was on

741
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:19,719
Speaker 3: that one episode and we asked her marriage and she said,

742
00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:26,000
Speaker 3: white women, you know, like that for us. I think

743
00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:27,840
Speaker 3: a lot of times you see like Happily Ever afters,

744
00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:30,440
Speaker 3: and you do you associate them with white women or

745
00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:32,120
Speaker 3: like you know what you see on TV, which is

746
00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:34,720
Speaker 3: generally white women, and so yeah, having to place myself,

747
00:34:34,719 --> 00:34:36,799
Speaker 3: there has been a little bit like oh, it's my

748
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:39,160
Speaker 3: turn now, and I deserve this and I'm worthy of it,

749
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:42,000
Speaker 3: which I realize is just like another part of love

750
00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:45,319
Speaker 3: that we don't recognize is also so deeply ingrained in us.

751
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:48,879
Speaker 3: It's like, do you feel like you deserve true, healthy love?

752
00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:51,520
Speaker 3: And if you don't truly believe it, even if you

753
00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:54,840
Speaker 3: say it, how does that manifest in the partners that

754
00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:55,840
Speaker 3: you attract?

755
00:34:57,600 --> 00:35:00,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean there's I think there's a lot of

756
00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:04,200
Speaker 1: fear around especially if you've had you know, bad luck

757
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:05,920
Speaker 1: and love. And I don't even want to say bad

758
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:07,799
Speaker 1: luck because I think it's a series of choices that

759
00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:10,160
Speaker 1: you make. I don't I don't test it to luck,

760
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:13,959
Speaker 1: but you don't trust your choices, you know, in love.

761
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:16,000
Speaker 1: And so then you're like, Okay, I think I'm ready,

762
00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:17,680
Speaker 1: Like what are the things that I need to look

763
00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:20,320
Speaker 1: out for, Like what is what are the steps? And

764
00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:23,400
Speaker 1: in knowing that, like I'm ready for this love, and

765
00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:28,480
Speaker 1: I'm I'm equipped, and so me and me laugh can

766
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:32,760
Speaker 1: concocted a list of these things through our own personal research,

767
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:41,160
Speaker 1: through UH observing experience, experience, observing, speaking with honestly thousands

768
00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:43,960
Speaker 1: of women at this point, through the podcast or the

769
00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:47,640
Speaker 1: work we do with the Good vib Retreat, we've I

770
00:35:47,640 --> 00:35:51,239
Speaker 1: feel like we we have some good, good quality perspectives

771
00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:54,279
Speaker 1: and answers here. But before we get into that, I'm

772
00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:55,960
Speaker 1: rolling this joint I love for us.

773
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:57,200
Speaker 3: You're rolling a backwood.

774
00:35:57,440 --> 00:36:00,400
Speaker 1: I'm rolling a backward, true true, and I just want

775
00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:02,439
Speaker 1: to I want to show y'all like I know y'all

776
00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:05,400
Speaker 1: see us smoke backwards all the time, and honestly, like

777
00:36:06,239 --> 00:36:09,640
Speaker 1: I love backwards. But I love the true raps the most.

778
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:11,800
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna tell you why I do too, because

779
00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:12,759
Speaker 1: they come like this.

780
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:15,799
Speaker 3: You don't have that shit all over your house.

781
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:19,440
Speaker 1: They come already done. Because I don't like this stuff,

782
00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:22,640
Speaker 1: Like this stuff on the inside. Is this stuff on

783
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:24,600
Speaker 1: the inside of anything. I don't want anything on the

784
00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:32,440
Speaker 1: inside except love and juices. And so that this has

785
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:34,960
Speaker 1: made my life a lot easier. And I'm actually I

786
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:36,080
Speaker 1: picked up this cannabis.

787
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:37,719
Speaker 3: Let me just show you the in case you're at

788
00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:40,480
Speaker 3: the store and you need to pick one up. This

789
00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:44,319
Speaker 3: is the true wraps packaging. And you know, I don't

790
00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:46,359
Speaker 3: see them in la as often, but if you look

791
00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:48,239
Speaker 3: for them, you can probably order them A line it

792
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:50,080
Speaker 3: really does help, and it gives me New York feels.

793
00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:52,480
Speaker 3: It gives me like grapa feels, which I like because

794
00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:55,239
Speaker 3: we're obviously not in New York. But let me get

795
00:36:55,239 --> 00:36:56,120
Speaker 3: my New York on.

796
00:36:56,840 --> 00:37:01,360
Speaker 1: And tonight, tonight today we are are smoking Blue Dream.

797
00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:03,239
Speaker 3: That's my favorite train.

798
00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:06,319
Speaker 1: I didn't know that. Well, I think it's a lot

799
00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:08,240
Speaker 1: of people o G smoker's favorite strands.

800
00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:10,719
Speaker 3: You know, I just realized that we didn't do that.

801
00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:14,280
Speaker 3: We should. We need to do maybe next week trigger

802
00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:18,759
Speaker 3: each other. Mmm, but yeah, you want to trigger me?

803
00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:19,520
Speaker 1: Where's this coming from?

804
00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:21,200
Speaker 3: Because you said, I said, did you know my favorite

805
00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:22,720
Speaker 3: strain is Blue Dream?

806
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:23,000
Speaker 1: Like?

807
00:37:23,239 --> 00:37:24,880
Speaker 3: Did you really know that? You're just saying that? No,

808
00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:26,400
Speaker 3: I did know that.

809
00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:29,239
Speaker 1: Actually I didn't know that.

810
00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:31,480
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, And.

811
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:33,120
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna put a little bit of a little

812
00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:35,880
Speaker 1: bit of honey, A little bit of honey on my backwood.

813
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:44,279
Speaker 1: This just helps sweeten the wood, also helps it. It's fine.

814
00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:45,319
Speaker 1: I got it.

815
00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:48,880
Speaker 3: I've got it. See this little sea on your nail.

816
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:55,200
Speaker 1: It's not this right here, I see it. Okay, see look,

817
00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:57,160
Speaker 1: it's gonna make that lay down, and it's also gonna

818
00:37:57,160 --> 00:37:58,759
Speaker 1: help it burn a little slower. And it's going to

819
00:37:58,840 --> 00:37:59,840
Speaker 1: taste a little sweeter.

820
00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:03,360
Speaker 3: The honey is like the egge control. It is the edge.

821
00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:08,920
Speaker 3: Oh my god, the honey is the edge control for backwood. WHOA,

822
00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:15,120
Speaker 3: don't take my idea. I'm about to make it blood edge,

823
00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:21,040
Speaker 3: my good moms, oh my god, edge control. M hm.

824
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:23,040
Speaker 3: If I see what you, if I see you, don't

825
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:23,480
Speaker 3: put too much.

826
00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:25,320
Speaker 1: Because some of you bitches have been sending me pictures

827
00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:28,040
Speaker 1: of like your backwoods like they're dipped in the honey.

828
00:38:29,719 --> 00:38:31,200
Speaker 1: I'm like, bitch, no one told you to dip the

829
00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:33,279
Speaker 1: whole goddamn thing in there like a hot dog on

830
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:33,920
Speaker 1: a stick, Like.

831
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:36,440
Speaker 3: What are you doing? Sometimes people take it real so literally.

832
00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:39,080
Speaker 3: I know, we have one where I'm like, wet it first,

833
00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:40,960
Speaker 3: and like it's wet, now, how I'm gonna roll it?

834
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:45,759
Speaker 3: I'm like, bitch, right, you gotta give you gotta give

835
00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:48,399
Speaker 3: specific instructions or just don't do it because people are

836
00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:52,239
Speaker 3: not going to use the common sense clues. It looks beautiful. Wow,

837
00:38:52,320 --> 00:38:53,040
Speaker 3: that's about to get us.

838
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:56,160
Speaker 1: Also, you know what, it has such a specific taste.

839
00:38:56,360 --> 00:38:58,520
Speaker 1: I mean, I mean sorry smell antaste. When I when

840
00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:00,200
Speaker 1: I got to the dispensary and I opened it, I

841
00:39:00,239 --> 00:39:03,120
Speaker 1: was like it makes you happ It was like nostalgia.

842
00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:06,440
Speaker 3: I was like, Huhaul, like reminds you of like freshman

843
00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:07,200
Speaker 3: year of college.

844
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:09,759
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.

845
00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:12,719
Speaker 3: You know, I didn't really smart start smoking weed really

846
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:14,520
Speaker 3: until the freshman year of college and I was in

847
00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:16,960
Speaker 3: Atlanta smoking reggie, which is very embarrassing.

848
00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:20,879
Speaker 1: I started smoking freshman year of high school. And I'm

849
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:23,120
Speaker 1: going to use our little candle here. This is cute.

850
00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:26,560
Speaker 3: Oh shit, can you smell the weed? That's cute. Like

851
00:39:26,600 --> 00:39:29,120
Speaker 3: they copied our other candle or whatever they did. I

852
00:39:29,120 --> 00:39:30,439
Speaker 3: don't know who that is what they did.

853
00:39:30,640 --> 00:39:32,439
Speaker 1: This is an Etsy purchase. No, we do not sell

854
00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:33,480
Speaker 1: this on our website.

855
00:39:33,239 --> 00:39:35,440
Speaker 3: But we will because they stole it. Anyway, those candles

856
00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:36,080
Speaker 3: were cute.

857
00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:43,440
Speaker 1: Actually, anyway, do you want to get into our our

858
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:46,239
Speaker 1: list of I do? You know?

859
00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:48,960
Speaker 3: I just want to say, as you know, as we

860
00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:53,320
Speaker 3: were compiling this list and having this conversation just about

861
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:56,560
Speaker 3: the journey of love, me and Erica had the opportunity

862
00:39:56,600 --> 00:39:58,920
Speaker 3: to sit back and you know, even while we've been

863
00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:01,719
Speaker 3: off season and we've listened to some previous episodes and

864
00:40:01,719 --> 00:40:04,839
Speaker 3: it's kind of laughworthy because we have come a long

865
00:40:04,920 --> 00:40:09,480
Speaker 3: way since episode one twenty eighteen, where I was twenty

866
00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:13,400
Speaker 3: nine and Erica was thirty. And you know, now we're

867
00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:17,239
Speaker 3: slightly older and the more wise, and I've had a

868
00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:22,400
Speaker 3: shit ton of more experiences. But like the relationship you

869
00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:27,000
Speaker 3: want is such as it changes, it shifts, like the

870
00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:31,080
Speaker 3: things that you think you want. So I just I'm

871
00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:34,880
Speaker 3: happy that we've given ourselves the freedom and the flexibility

872
00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:37,960
Speaker 3: to adjust and to change the things that we said

873
00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:42,799
Speaker 3: that we wanted because they have changed. And so we're

874
00:40:42,800 --> 00:40:46,400
Speaker 3: going down the list of ways to trust yourself and

875
00:40:46,520 --> 00:40:50,560
Speaker 3: love and to prepare yourself from going from a single

876
00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:55,200
Speaker 3: hoe to a married hoe like myself. I told you

877
00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:58,759
Speaker 3: I'll be giving y'all fiance advice, and it's happening because

878
00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:01,279
Speaker 3: guess what Beachi is lon I got this ring. I'm

879
00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:02,760
Speaker 3: gonna be talking like I'm an expert.

880
00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:04,280
Speaker 1: All I got is girlfriend advice.

881
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:07,120
Speaker 3: That's plenty. You're married to me. You're word in a trouble,

882
00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:11,160
Speaker 3: remember I told you. Remember Jesse kept saying you are

883
00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:13,280
Speaker 3: in a poly relationship though, And I was like, Jesse,

884
00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:16,960
Speaker 3: with who She's like, Eric is your wife, Orlando's your husband.

885
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:18,719
Speaker 3: I was like, I know, but we're not Pollie together.

886
00:41:18,800 --> 00:41:20,759
Speaker 3: She's like it's Pollie, she kept saying. I was like, no,

887
00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:24,120
Speaker 3: it's like Polly, it is, it's Pollie. Guys all are

888
00:41:24,239 --> 00:41:26,440
Speaker 3: very deeply covenant. And then I came back from Houston

889
00:41:26,480 --> 00:41:28,800
Speaker 3: and I'm like, we're in a Poli relationship and they're like,

890
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:30,640
Speaker 3: can you shut the fuck up. I'm like, she's right,

891
00:41:30,719 --> 00:41:33,200
Speaker 3: we basically are. We're together all the time, all three

892
00:41:33,239 --> 00:41:33,560
Speaker 3: of us.

893
00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:35,960
Speaker 1: Polly send me platonic.

894
00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:43,720
Speaker 3: Poly platonic, platonic, Polly. True. The amount of hotel rooms

895
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:47,800
Speaker 3: travels fucking issue, Like there's there. You know, it requires

896
00:41:48,520 --> 00:41:53,799
Speaker 3: requires a lot of personality management. I'm so popular, I

897
00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:55,520
Speaker 3: have to manage all my husbands and my wives.

898
00:41:56,560 --> 00:42:00,680
Speaker 1: Personality management is something I have been literally co templating on.

899
00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:04,160
Speaker 1: Not to get off topic, but just like how much

900
00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:09,359
Speaker 1: as women we have to manage personalities, I mean humans too. Yes,

901
00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:11,759
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to take away this this thing from men,

902
00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:15,280
Speaker 1: but I think because women were such were such feelers

903
00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:17,279
Speaker 1: and nurturers, we want to fix and we want to

904
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:21,360
Speaker 1: make sure everything's okay. And like, the amount of fucking

905
00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:25,440
Speaker 1: personality management I'm doing daily is out of control.

906
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:27,200
Speaker 3: And you know what I think too, as we talk

907
00:42:27,239 --> 00:42:30,960
Speaker 3: about love and for those of you who isolate and

908
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:33,920
Speaker 3: think you're healing, you're fucking you're shit out of luck,

909
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:35,920
Speaker 3: because as soon as you make one friend like me

910
00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:41,800
Speaker 3: and Erica, our dynamic has We've been so close sister wives, wives, sisters,

911
00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:44,480
Speaker 3: best friends, business partners for so long. Our lives are

912
00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:46,879
Speaker 3: so deeply integrated. So we were thinking about each other.

913
00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:49,680
Speaker 3: But then we have kids. They have totally different personalities.

914
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:52,960
Speaker 3: Then we got niggas, they got different personalities and different traumas,

915
00:42:53,040 --> 00:42:57,719
Speaker 3: and then to integrate that, and then we have a team, yeah,

916
00:42:57,760 --> 00:43:01,000
Speaker 3: a work relationships that we also have to manage. And

917
00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:03,600
Speaker 3: now me and Erica are fucking thinking we're semi therapist

918
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:07,200
Speaker 3: diagnosing everybody in their childhood. Even like, remember last time

919
00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:09,600
Speaker 3: we had a videographer who's a shout out to David,

920
00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:11,800
Speaker 3: been our videographer for so long, and we had to

921
00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:14,120
Speaker 3: have like a deep conversation like where do you think

922
00:43:14,120 --> 00:43:16,560
Speaker 3: your avoidance comes from? He's like, well, my dad, And

923
00:43:16,600 --> 00:43:18,759
Speaker 3: I'm like I knew it, you know what I mean?

924
00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:20,799
Speaker 3: Like there are real times where I'm like, this is

925
00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:23,439
Speaker 3: deeper than good moms. This is not about your role

926
00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:27,080
Speaker 3: as executive assistant. This is about something else, you know,

927
00:43:27,239 --> 00:43:31,319
Speaker 3: And so I think we underestimate the amount of personality

928
00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:36,920
Speaker 3: management requires to live like just easeful lives with people

929
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:40,800
Speaker 3: within a community. But historically people have been in community,

930
00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:42,920
Speaker 3: and to isolate yourself is to remove a lot of

931
00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:45,320
Speaker 3: the humanness and the like the divine way we're supposed

932
00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:48,560
Speaker 3: to live. And so the personality management is a real one,

933
00:43:48,600 --> 00:43:50,920
Speaker 3: and it's a real it could be a real obstacle

934
00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:54,160
Speaker 3: if you don't have the perspective or the tools. And

935
00:43:54,160 --> 00:43:55,680
Speaker 3: most of us don't have the tools because no one

936
00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:57,799
Speaker 3: gave us a boss fucking handbook when we started the

937
00:43:57,800 --> 00:44:00,399
Speaker 3: shit six years ago, or like a month their hood

938
00:44:00,440 --> 00:44:03,279
Speaker 3: handbook or a wife handbook. And you know, now you're

939
00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:05,040
Speaker 3: just like in the middle of it as the and

940
00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:08,799
Speaker 3: I'll say, moms, we are the glue. We have to

941
00:44:08,920 --> 00:44:13,080
Speaker 3: nurture everyone, including ourselves. And it is like and sometimes

942
00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:14,400
Speaker 3: you get to your friendship or you get to your

943
00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:16,400
Speaker 3: girls and you're tapped the fucking out of neocity.

944
00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:17,959
Speaker 1: So now it's like, fuck, car, we're done.

945
00:44:18,160 --> 00:44:27,760
Speaker 3: We're done.

946
00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:31,319
Speaker 1: We're we're not, but we have an argument. We're done

947
00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:31,680
Speaker 1: for life.

948
00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:33,560
Speaker 3: It's true.

949
00:44:34,160 --> 00:44:37,359
Speaker 1: So anyway, side note, just women, I feel you, I know,

950
00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:41,200
Speaker 1: like we are managing so many personalities on a daily basis.

951
00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:43,480
Speaker 1: Shout out to you because it's not easy. It's not

952
00:44:43,520 --> 00:44:47,560
Speaker 1: an easy task, and it does require boundaries, not getting

953
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:51,040
Speaker 1: invested in everyone's fucking dysfunction and all their fucking shit

954
00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:53,160
Speaker 1: because they want to have attitude today and then be

955
00:44:53,239 --> 00:44:56,120
Speaker 1: nice the next day. You know, me, Hello, Hi. So

956
00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:58,439
Speaker 1: it's just it's a lot.

957
00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:04,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, And you know, I kind of feel like right now,

958
00:45:04,480 --> 00:45:07,239
Speaker 3: but not gonna lie. I kind of feel like this

959
00:45:07,360 --> 00:45:10,200
Speaker 3: is our fucking mathe episode mentioning Sierra. She's our best

960
00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:12,600
Speaker 3: friend in her head obviously if she had knew Eric

961
00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:16,719
Speaker 3: Abadu Cif you don't get these messages, I don't know

962
00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:19,520
Speaker 3: what's going on with the Internet. I feel like I'm

963
00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:23,160
Speaker 3: the Sierra of the host. My prayer worked. You know

964
00:45:23,239 --> 00:45:25,239
Speaker 3: a lot of people are like Hose, especially the men

965
00:45:25,280 --> 00:45:27,719
Speaker 3: on the internet, like Hose net are gonna always be Hose,

966
00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:30,839
Speaker 3: never gonna get married. All the comments I've ever had

967
00:45:30,840 --> 00:45:33,040
Speaker 3: and good moms is that's why you're not married, that's

968
00:45:33,040 --> 00:45:37,480
Speaker 3: why you're single. Well how about this, bitches. I was like,

969
00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:39,440
Speaker 3: I can't wait for this ring because when I go

970
00:45:39,480 --> 00:45:41,040
Speaker 3: off and these comments is gonna really hit.

971
00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:44,480
Speaker 1: Now, wait and then today in our Facebook on our

972
00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:47,839
Speaker 1: Facebook group shout out to our Facebook group, make sure

973
00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:51,960
Speaker 1: you go and be part of our Facebook group, we

974
00:45:51,960 --> 00:45:54,200
Speaker 1: were talking about Sierra's prayer, because of course we do

975
00:45:54,239 --> 00:45:56,719
Speaker 1: nothing but talk about Sierra. Apparently. Also, by the way,

976
00:45:56,760 --> 00:45:58,680
Speaker 1: she has my birthday just so you know, the same

977
00:45:58,680 --> 00:45:59,160
Speaker 1: birthday as you.

978
00:45:59,560 --> 00:45:59,920
Speaker 3: October.

979
00:46:00,480 --> 00:46:00,920
Speaker 2: Yeah.

980
00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:02,920
Speaker 3: Wow, I'm basically best start at the Sierra.

981
00:46:04,840 --> 00:46:08,520
Speaker 1: I was like, because someone was like, we were talking

982
00:46:08,520 --> 00:46:10,720
Speaker 1: about baby daddies and how they're disappointing, and then someone

983
00:46:10,760 --> 00:46:13,880
Speaker 1: said like, oh, you know, they become less disappointing when

984
00:46:13,880 --> 00:46:14,800
Speaker 1: they find a good partner.

985
00:46:15,040 --> 00:46:15,239
Speaker 3: Oh.

986
00:46:15,640 --> 00:46:17,640
Speaker 1: And then I was like, can we do like Sierra's

987
00:46:17,680 --> 00:46:20,799
Speaker 1: prayer for our baby daddy's, Like, can we write a prayer?

988
00:46:20,840 --> 00:46:22,800
Speaker 3: We're about to do a Good Mom's Book of Prayers.

989
00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:25,839
Speaker 1: Pray that our baby daddies find a very top notch

990
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:28,120
Speaker 1: partner that is going to make them show up and

991
00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:29,520
Speaker 1: be responsible fathers.

992
00:46:29,719 --> 00:46:31,320
Speaker 3: This is gonna be our next book because it seems

993
00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:34,520
Speaker 3: like short paragraphs, not a whole two hundred pages. I

994
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:38,520
Speaker 3: like that short book. The Book of Prayer, the Good Mom's.

995
00:46:38,320 --> 00:46:40,480
Speaker 1: Book of Prayers, the Little Book of Prayers, a Little

996
00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:44,160
Speaker 1: Book of Prayers. Oh, my God, look out for us.

997
00:46:44,160 --> 00:46:47,600
Speaker 1: HarperCollins is coming with a new concept in twenty twenty six.

998
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:49,840
Speaker 3: Starting with my prayer, Melis Prayer. Once I was a

999
00:46:49,880 --> 00:46:55,080
Speaker 3: hoe and now I'm a wife. Oh okay, so this

1000
00:46:55,160 --> 00:46:57,520
Speaker 3: is one I really the first one on our list,

1001
00:46:57,520 --> 00:47:00,840
Speaker 3: and this is the side note this backwood you've noticed,

1002
00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:01,560
Speaker 3: I haven't passed it.

1003
00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:02,680
Speaker 1: I'm like, when are you.

1004
00:47:02,840 --> 00:47:03,760
Speaker 3: Getting at lightheaded?

1005
00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:06,480
Speaker 1: And I see your eyes getting smaller? Bitch, they opened them,

1006
00:47:06,480 --> 00:47:07,239
Speaker 1: open them, open them.

1007
00:47:07,239 --> 00:47:09,880
Speaker 3: Come on, there you go, my eyes get or if

1008
00:47:09,920 --> 00:47:12,880
Speaker 3: our homegirl hit us shout out to Aaron of Lilac

1009
00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:17,239
Speaker 3: and Flint Skincare. She hit us and said, I'm listening

1010
00:47:17,280 --> 00:47:20,160
Speaker 3: to your episode and I'm cracking the fuck up because,

1011
00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:22,759
Speaker 3: uh cause you guys get high and then you guys

1012
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:25,359
Speaker 3: start all talking like this, and yeah, She's like, that's

1013
00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:26,000
Speaker 3: my favorite part.

1014
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:27,960
Speaker 1: I'm like, when you get high and just fucking can't

1015
00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:29,359
Speaker 1: remember what you're talking about, it.

1016
00:47:29,320 --> 00:47:32,319
Speaker 3: With it and your voice has changed. Only a long

1017
00:47:32,360 --> 00:47:35,560
Speaker 3: time listener could peep some shit like that. Yeah, anyway.

1018
00:47:35,800 --> 00:47:40,680
Speaker 3: Number one on the list trusting, Oh wait, Number one

1019
00:47:40,680 --> 00:47:45,719
Speaker 3: on the list. Establishing friendship first. Some of the best

1020
00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:52,239
Speaker 3: relationships are born from friendships. And I can genuinely testify

1021
00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:55,000
Speaker 3: to that because me and Orlando, even though as soon

1022
00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:57,080
Speaker 3: as we met, we got it pop in within like

1023
00:47:57,120 --> 00:48:00,880
Speaker 3: the first five days, and it was actually very meaningful

1024
00:48:00,960 --> 00:48:03,200
Speaker 3: and we had sex and we're nuts, so we told

1025
00:48:03,239 --> 00:48:05,080
Speaker 3: each other we loved each other, which is I wouldn't

1026
00:48:05,160 --> 00:48:08,279
Speaker 3: highly recommend unless you were both highly insane like us.

1027
00:48:08,719 --> 00:48:12,400
Speaker 3: But for a year, Orlando was my friend, and I

1028
00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:14,839
Speaker 3: think one of the first like conversations we had was like,

1029
00:48:15,440 --> 00:48:17,640
Speaker 3: no matter what, you're gonna be at my wedding. And

1030
00:48:17,719 --> 00:48:19,239
Speaker 3: I was like, I know, I'm gonnavite you to my

1031
00:48:19,239 --> 00:48:22,719
Speaker 3: wedding because we're best friends now. And I told him everything,

1032
00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:26,360
Speaker 3: like things I would I would tell Erica, like the threesomes,

1033
00:48:26,400 --> 00:48:29,000
Speaker 3: the hoe shit when niggas didn't call me back after

1034
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:30,799
Speaker 3: they slept with me, and I'm like, I feel a way,

1035
00:48:30,800 --> 00:48:32,319
Speaker 3: and not that I like this person at all, but

1036
00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:35,839
Speaker 3: it was that it was that in depth to tell him,

1037
00:48:35,880 --> 00:48:39,879
Speaker 3: like every single detail. And you know, I think sometimes

1038
00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:46,319
Speaker 3: people put on this front and it just doesn't work.

1039
00:48:46,400 --> 00:48:48,480
Speaker 3: And I think the friendship is really where you like

1040
00:48:48,960 --> 00:48:53,480
Speaker 3: gain the the the like the realness of the relationship.

1041
00:48:54,200 --> 00:48:57,320
Speaker 1: You can't bypass it. It's like really a recipe for disaster.

1042
00:48:57,440 --> 00:49:00,000
Speaker 1: It's okay if you guys know that you are roman

1043
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:03,719
Speaker 1: antically compatible and even are even dating, but there does

1044
00:49:03,840 --> 00:49:06,600
Speaker 1: require you, which is really hard when you get into

1045
00:49:06,600 --> 00:49:09,160
Speaker 1: that space. Though if you've already in agreement that hey,

1046
00:49:09,160 --> 00:49:12,120
Speaker 1: we're going to like let's do this, it does for

1047
00:49:12,160 --> 00:49:16,759
Speaker 1: some reason, and women create this this like flag in

1048
00:49:16,760 --> 00:49:19,719
Speaker 1: their mind where they like start compartmentalizing what they feel

1049
00:49:19,719 --> 00:49:21,680
Speaker 1: like they can share, like, oh, he doesn't want to

1050
00:49:21,719 --> 00:49:23,000
Speaker 1: know about that, he doesn't want to hear about that,

1051
00:49:23,440 --> 00:49:26,040
Speaker 1: And it's like, I highly implore you to just not

1052
00:49:26,160 --> 00:49:28,400
Speaker 1: do it and say the thing, because eventually some shit's

1053
00:49:28,400 --> 00:49:31,840
Speaker 1: going to come up, whether it's whether it's about previous lovers,

1054
00:49:31,920 --> 00:49:34,920
Speaker 1: whether it's about shit that happened in your childhood that

1055
00:49:34,960 --> 00:49:36,480
Speaker 1: you haven't shared with anyone.

1056
00:49:36,480 --> 00:49:40,440
Speaker 3: Fantasies like if you want to have an MMF, something

1057
00:49:40,520 --> 00:49:41,560
Speaker 3: I remember importantly.

1058
00:49:43,040 --> 00:49:45,320
Speaker 1: More importantly, the MMF you want to have is actually

1059
00:49:45,400 --> 00:49:46,840
Speaker 1: the reason why you need to start as friends. To

1060
00:49:46,840 --> 00:49:48,680
Speaker 1: make sure that Nigga is okay with it, that.

1061
00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:50,960
Speaker 3: Your fantasies will at some point come to fruition.

1062
00:49:51,760 --> 00:49:55,600
Speaker 1: It's important not the childhood dramas.

1063
00:49:56,080 --> 00:49:58,799
Speaker 3: Tell him your porn category even the really nasty one

1064
00:49:58,800 --> 00:50:01,760
Speaker 3: and see what face he makes. True, It's so true

1065
00:50:01,760 --> 00:50:04,520
Speaker 3: because I think there's a level of for women specifically,

1066
00:50:04,600 --> 00:50:07,640
Speaker 3: there's a level of safety that we rarely feel. There's

1067
00:50:07,640 --> 00:50:09,560
Speaker 3: a level of safety can we have with our friends

1068
00:50:09,560 --> 00:50:12,200
Speaker 3: because they're not gonna leave us because we dreamed of

1069
00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:13,920
Speaker 3: having an MMF and it was great.

1070
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:14,200
Speaker 1: You know.

1071
00:50:14,280 --> 00:50:16,880
Speaker 3: I remember telling a young bay this, this is like

1072
00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:19,840
Speaker 3: year one. I literally remember him telling me he was

1073
00:50:19,920 --> 00:50:21,840
Speaker 3: dating a girl who told him that she wanted to

1074
00:50:21,880 --> 00:50:23,759
Speaker 3: have an experience with two men. And he was like,

1075
00:50:24,360 --> 00:50:27,200
Speaker 3: you will never be my wife. That was his exact line.

1076
00:50:27,239 --> 00:50:29,120
Speaker 1: And I was like, whoa, You're like, note to self,

1077
00:50:29,160 --> 00:50:31,000
Speaker 1: I'm not going to tell you that this is my fantasy.

1078
00:50:31,280 --> 00:50:33,960
Speaker 3: Right. Meanwhile, when Orlando came, I was like, hey, I

1079
00:50:33,960 --> 00:50:36,480
Speaker 3: had this great idea. What do you think you know?

1080
00:50:36,800 --> 00:50:39,640
Speaker 3: And because he was very open with me about how

1081
00:50:39,680 --> 00:50:41,920
Speaker 3: he was exploring what his fantasies were, you know, and

1082
00:50:41,960 --> 00:50:44,600
Speaker 3: like it does help that he's a podcaster and at

1083
00:50:44,640 --> 00:50:47,120
Speaker 3: the time he was, you know, talking about sex on

1084
00:50:47,120 --> 00:50:49,400
Speaker 3: his podcast, so I knew it was like a safe place.

1085
00:50:49,640 --> 00:50:52,359
Speaker 3: And I also really really really longed for a place

1086
00:50:52,400 --> 00:50:55,960
Speaker 3: where I could where I felt like it was equal,

1087
00:50:56,520 --> 00:50:58,160
Speaker 3: Like I could tell you things as a human being

1088
00:50:58,239 --> 00:50:59,840
Speaker 3: and you're gonna still love me and accept me just

1089
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:02,200
Speaker 3: despite me telling you these things. Like for me as

1090
00:51:02,239 --> 00:51:05,680
Speaker 3: a woman, as a feminist, it's so important for me

1091
00:51:06,120 --> 00:51:09,239
Speaker 3: to have a man that feels like I'm genuinely his

1092
00:51:09,320 --> 00:51:13,279
Speaker 3: equal and not tries to fucking blind me and put

1093
00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:15,799
Speaker 3: the coat over my eyes with this social like this

1094
00:51:15,880 --> 00:51:19,200
Speaker 3: fucking societal bullshit, and like I even when we were

1095
00:51:19,760 --> 00:51:21,319
Speaker 3: I went on a trip and there was this guy

1096
00:51:21,400 --> 00:51:24,840
Speaker 3: talking about he wanted to be Polly, but he wanted

1097
00:51:24,840 --> 00:51:27,160
Speaker 3: this woman to only sleep with him. And he at first,

1098
00:51:27,200 --> 00:51:30,000
Speaker 3: I was like, he's so cool. He did these yoga events,

1099
00:51:30,040 --> 00:51:32,120
Speaker 3: Like I was like really vibing with him. I thought, WHOA,

1100
00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:34,279
Speaker 3: what a cool guy. And he said this shit and

1101
00:51:34,320 --> 00:51:37,400
Speaker 3: I literally was like a screeching break and I was like, immediately,

1102
00:51:37,480 --> 00:51:40,480
Speaker 3: I was like, he's done. Immediately I tapped out. I

1103
00:51:40,520 --> 00:51:42,280
Speaker 3: was like, oh, he's not as smart as I thought.

1104
00:51:42,640 --> 00:51:44,560
Speaker 3: I've had a lot of relationships with that with like

1105
00:51:44,600 --> 00:51:47,400
Speaker 3: with men who said big words and were highly sexual

1106
00:51:47,440 --> 00:51:49,600
Speaker 3: and we had conversations and we were talking about sexual

1107
00:51:49,640 --> 00:51:52,440
Speaker 3: things between us. It was fine. But the second that

1108
00:51:52,480 --> 00:51:55,680
Speaker 3: I mentioned my fantasies are things that I had done previously.

1109
00:51:55,920 --> 00:51:57,600
Speaker 3: All that went out the window, and I just can't

1110
00:51:57,640 --> 00:52:00,560
Speaker 3: respect that. And I never felt safe there. So I

1111
00:52:00,600 --> 00:52:03,239
Speaker 3: think a part of me blabbering to Orlando it was

1112
00:52:03,280 --> 00:52:05,880
Speaker 3: like testing and a lot of times I've done that relationships,

1113
00:52:05,880 --> 00:52:07,680
Speaker 3: and a lot of times men have failed most of

1114
00:52:07,719 --> 00:52:10,320
Speaker 3: the time. Yeah, And so it's like for the men listening,

1115
00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:14,120
Speaker 3: like that safety factor is just understanding that your woman

1116
00:52:14,239 --> 00:52:17,719
Speaker 3: is a human and has human needs and also likes

1117
00:52:17,719 --> 00:52:19,319
Speaker 3: to fuck and also.

1118
00:52:19,200 --> 00:52:22,200
Speaker 1: You know, and has fucked before you, has fucked before you,

1119
00:52:22,320 --> 00:52:24,480
Speaker 1: and the reason she fucks so good it's compete because.

1120
00:52:24,239 --> 00:52:25,880
Speaker 3: She fucked before you a lot.

1121
00:52:27,440 --> 00:52:30,759
Speaker 1: You know. Uh, I agree. I think that I've definitely

1122
00:52:31,120 --> 00:52:35,920
Speaker 1: been victim to you know, when I first started my

1123
00:52:35,960 --> 00:52:38,920
Speaker 1: relationship with my child's father, we had a friendship, and

1124
00:52:38,960 --> 00:52:41,799
Speaker 1: I think that's why our relationship lasted for so long,

1125
00:52:41,840 --> 00:52:44,040
Speaker 1: and it was beautiful for many years. Actually, I know,

1126
00:52:44,280 --> 00:52:46,440
Speaker 1: like I don't really share so many stories about how

1127
00:52:46,480 --> 00:52:48,120
Speaker 1: great it was, but it was the first three years

1128
00:52:48,160 --> 00:52:51,560
Speaker 1: it was fucking lit. And I really attested that to

1129
00:52:52,320 --> 00:52:55,040
Speaker 1: our friendship and I always was like a proponent for

1130
00:52:55,040 --> 00:52:56,760
Speaker 1: that for my friends, like you have to be friends

1131
00:52:56,760 --> 00:52:59,040
Speaker 1: for us, like this is why this relationship is different.

1132
00:53:00,120 --> 00:53:02,640
Speaker 1: And then you know, after we broke up and then

1133
00:53:02,680 --> 00:53:05,279
Speaker 1: exploring dating and computing myself out there, like I think

1134
00:53:05,320 --> 00:53:08,879
Speaker 1: I've like I've done both. I've like jumped into relationships

1135
00:53:08,880 --> 00:53:12,520
Speaker 1: that were like highly sexually charged that kind of interfered

1136
00:53:12,600 --> 00:53:15,600
Speaker 1: with how honest I could be with my friend versus not.

1137
00:53:15,800 --> 00:53:18,160
Speaker 1: And even in this particular relationship that I'm in now,

1138
00:53:18,200 --> 00:53:21,480
Speaker 1: I think for me, the friendship was really and I've

1139
00:53:21,520 --> 00:53:23,440
Speaker 1: talked about it, I guess on Patreon not really so

1140
00:53:23,520 --> 00:53:25,920
Speaker 1: much here about just my journey and celibacy in my

1141
00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:30,000
Speaker 1: relationship and how I think that that was a really

1142
00:53:30,360 --> 00:53:34,719
Speaker 1: really powerful tool in really cultivating the friendship because we

1143
00:53:34,719 --> 00:53:37,200
Speaker 1: weren't fucking and so there was no I felt like

1144
00:53:37,840 --> 00:53:39,560
Speaker 1: he couldn't judge. There was no I mean, I didn't

1145
00:53:39,680 --> 00:53:42,160
Speaker 1: feel like he's not a guy that would judge anyway,

1146
00:53:42,200 --> 00:53:43,759
Speaker 1: And at that point I really didn't give a fuck.

1147
00:53:44,120 --> 00:53:48,080
Speaker 1: But I think I think that you have to be

1148
00:53:48,239 --> 00:53:51,560
Speaker 1: willing to do something different in your relationship, whether that

1149
00:53:51,719 --> 00:53:54,240
Speaker 1: is not having sex when you first meet someone, whether

1150
00:53:54,280 --> 00:53:57,000
Speaker 1: that is being in agreement that you're going to be

1151
00:53:57,080 --> 00:54:01,680
Speaker 1: brutally honest, like that piece has to be different, Like

1152
00:54:01,719 --> 00:54:03,440
Speaker 1: if you're going, if you're someone that's coming out of

1153
00:54:04,480 --> 00:54:06,839
Speaker 1: really toxic relationships, you've done your healing and now you're

1154
00:54:06,840 --> 00:54:09,439
Speaker 1: listening to this episode because you're ready to come back

1155
00:54:09,480 --> 00:54:11,319
Speaker 1: into the love space, Like you have to know that

1156
00:54:11,360 --> 00:54:14,680
Speaker 1: there does you can't follow the same steps, like you

1157
00:54:14,760 --> 00:54:18,080
Speaker 1: just can't. And the friendship piece is like, literally, I

1158
00:54:18,080 --> 00:54:19,600
Speaker 1: don't think you can get around it. And that's why

1159
00:54:19,640 --> 00:54:20,360
Speaker 1: it's number one.

1160
00:54:20,840 --> 00:54:25,760
Speaker 3: Honestly. I remember my other best friends telling me, like, Mela,

1161
00:54:25,840 --> 00:54:28,040
Speaker 3: you got to not be so honest in the beginning,

1162
00:54:28,080 --> 00:54:30,040
Speaker 3: like basically, bitch, chill a little bit in the beginning

1163
00:54:30,040 --> 00:54:31,680
Speaker 3: so you could like someone can like you first. And

1164
00:54:31,760 --> 00:54:34,160
Speaker 3: I was just like, that doesn't sound smart. That sounds

1165
00:54:34,160 --> 00:54:37,560
Speaker 3: like a trick because I'm a specific taste, you know,

1166
00:54:37,760 --> 00:54:41,480
Speaker 3: and I and I always just felt very confident in that,

1167
00:54:41,600 --> 00:54:44,000
Speaker 3: like and I think it probably has the like my

1168
00:54:44,080 --> 00:54:45,960
Speaker 3: parents have been together for a long time since my

1169
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:48,680
Speaker 3: mom was fourteen my dad was seventeen. And I've seen

1170
00:54:48,719 --> 00:54:51,560
Speaker 3: my mom like not know who she is. I've seen

1171
00:54:51,600 --> 00:54:55,000
Speaker 3: my mom make her identity my dad. I've seen her chase,

1172
00:54:55,040 --> 00:54:57,160
Speaker 3: I've seen her like forced, you know, I've seen her

1173
00:54:57,239 --> 00:55:00,880
Speaker 3: just like claws out, fangs out, and it just seemed

1174
00:55:00,880 --> 00:55:03,480
Speaker 3: like such a battle that I did not And it

1175
00:55:03,480 --> 00:55:05,360
Speaker 3: wasn't like she needed to be herself or any of

1176
00:55:05,400 --> 00:55:07,600
Speaker 3: those things, but I just saw what it looked like

1177
00:55:07,640 --> 00:55:10,840
Speaker 3: to convince someone that they should treat you a certain way,

1178
00:55:11,200 --> 00:55:12,720
Speaker 3: you know. And not that my dad was a horrible

1179
00:55:12,760 --> 00:55:14,560
Speaker 3: guy to her or anything like that, but like he

1180
00:55:14,719 --> 00:55:18,880
Speaker 3: was doing him and it tormented her, but like spiritually mentally,

1181
00:55:19,280 --> 00:55:21,480
Speaker 3: and I was just like, I'm not doing that, you know.

1182
00:55:21,760 --> 00:55:24,360
Speaker 3: And I know for most women, some women are listening

1183
00:55:24,360 --> 00:55:27,480
Speaker 3: to this and like, bitch, I listen to you, tell

1184
00:55:27,600 --> 00:55:30,680
Speaker 3: my nigga what I want an MMF, turn a shit off,

1185
00:55:32,080 --> 00:55:34,120
Speaker 3: turn a shit off. This is ridiculous, you know. And

1186
00:55:34,160 --> 00:55:37,399
Speaker 3: it's true, like the majority of the men are going

1187
00:55:37,440 --> 00:55:39,640
Speaker 3: to shut you, to shut it down, but that's how

1188
00:55:39,680 --> 00:55:42,879
Speaker 3: you weed niggas out. If you're not for me, don't

1189
00:55:42,920 --> 00:55:45,560
Speaker 3: waste my fucking time, you know. And so I think

1190
00:55:45,600 --> 00:55:47,960
Speaker 3: the friendship piece is like you don't hesitate to tell

1191
00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:49,960
Speaker 3: your real friends things because they're not going to leave

1192
00:55:50,000 --> 00:55:52,440
Speaker 3: you based on your secrets. You know, they're going to

1193
00:55:52,520 --> 00:55:55,160
Speaker 3: keep them and they're going to you know, give give

1194
00:55:55,200 --> 00:55:57,440
Speaker 3: your insight but like niggas don't be judging each other

1195
00:55:57,480 --> 00:55:59,319
Speaker 3: when they tell each other wild shit. Niggas keep their

1196
00:55:59,360 --> 00:56:01,919
Speaker 3: niggas secrets and they're cheating on their wives and doing

1197
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:05,360
Speaker 3: fuck shit. So yeah, like bring that same homie energy

1198
00:56:05,400 --> 00:56:05,960
Speaker 3: to your woman.

1199
00:56:06,680 --> 00:56:09,319
Speaker 1: And let me tell you, ladies, there is nothing sexier

1200
00:56:09,320 --> 00:56:12,000
Speaker 1: than your man fucking you and being inside of you

1201
00:56:12,080 --> 00:56:14,040
Speaker 1: and saying I'm so lucky that I get to fuck

1202
00:56:14,120 --> 00:56:16,680
Speaker 1: my best friend, and then you actually believe it. Trust me,

1203
00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:18,560
Speaker 1: highly highly recommend.

1204
00:56:18,280 --> 00:56:20,800
Speaker 3: Highly highly highly recommend.

1205
00:56:21,520 --> 00:56:24,320
Speaker 1: I've done it, me too, and I'm doing it and

1206
00:56:24,480 --> 00:56:26,960
Speaker 1: it's real and I trust it and it feels good

1207
00:56:27,080 --> 00:56:32,040
Speaker 1: and it's it's it's like a level of safety building that. Honestly,

1208
00:56:32,719 --> 00:56:35,440
Speaker 1: you're building safety while someone's inside of your womb.

1209
00:56:35,480 --> 00:56:37,160
Speaker 3: I mean that. I don't know what's safer than that,

1210
00:56:37,480 --> 00:56:40,520
Speaker 3: like truly, And so you know that's one piece missing

1211
00:56:40,520 --> 00:56:43,000
Speaker 3: with me. And tell your husband to do that if

1212
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:45,840
Speaker 3: that's your best If that's your best ye, can you

1213
00:56:45,920 --> 00:56:47,440
Speaker 3: tell me I'm your best friend while you fuck me.

1214
00:56:48,760 --> 00:56:50,799
Speaker 3: That's the whole reason you make a best friend with

1215
00:56:50,840 --> 00:56:51,600
Speaker 3: a penis holder.

1216
00:56:56,040 --> 00:56:57,480
Speaker 1: Strap bonds could be you could do this with a

1217
00:56:57,480 --> 00:56:59,799
Speaker 1: strap bon maybe like you scissor and do it like

1218
00:57:00,400 --> 00:57:01,320
Speaker 1: you're my best friend.

1219
00:57:01,840 --> 00:57:03,400
Speaker 3: Do you want to sister? And so I can tell

1220
00:57:03,440 --> 00:57:03,960
Speaker 3: you my message.

1221
00:57:03,960 --> 00:57:05,680
Speaker 1: I'm always pussies together.

1222
00:57:06,080 --> 00:57:07,279
Speaker 3: Do you think will manifest faster?

1223
00:57:07,400 --> 00:57:08,520
Speaker 1: Do you think that's what needs to happen?

1224
00:57:09,080 --> 00:57:11,240
Speaker 3: Well, you know, I was supposed to give you a yoni,

1225
00:57:11,480 --> 00:57:14,480
Speaker 3: a yoni like massage, and we never did it because

1226
00:57:14,480 --> 00:57:17,600
Speaker 3: we are always working there and have time to Costa Rica.

1227
00:57:17,640 --> 00:57:19,320
Speaker 1: I know it Costa Rica is the time.

1228
00:57:19,320 --> 00:57:21,560
Speaker 3: You know what I had a thought I did. I

1229
00:57:21,840 --> 00:57:23,160
Speaker 3: literally was like, oh, maybe this would be a good

1230
00:57:23,160 --> 00:57:25,200
Speaker 3: time we could finally give each other yoning massages like

1231
00:57:25,200 --> 00:57:30,280
Speaker 3: we're supposed to. And this is a very like educational piece.

1232
00:57:30,440 --> 00:57:33,920
Speaker 3: It's very it's like, it's not erotic. It's it's not

1233
00:57:33,960 --> 00:57:36,360
Speaker 3: it's not it's not erotic. It's intimate, but it's more

1234
00:57:36,760 --> 00:57:41,080
Speaker 3: for the purpose of like meditation but also release and

1235
00:57:41,080 --> 00:57:45,800
Speaker 3: not like yes, orgasm possibly, But sometimes there is things.

1236
00:57:45,520 --> 00:57:47,640
Speaker 1: Stored in your Sometimes a.

1237
00:57:47,560 --> 00:57:50,400
Speaker 3: Lot of times our wombs hold things physically and we

1238
00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:53,000
Speaker 3: don't even realize it. It's like if you did a

1239
00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:55,480
Speaker 3: certain hit, a certain stretch at the fucking yoga gym

1240
00:57:55,720 --> 00:57:58,840
Speaker 3: and it made you cry. I've literally witnessed people just

1241
00:57:58,960 --> 00:58:02,720
Speaker 3: on you know, like doing certain moodras on your genitals

1242
00:58:02,760 --> 00:58:04,240
Speaker 3: that will release tears.

1243
00:58:04,320 --> 00:58:06,080
Speaker 1: Well, I can attest to it because I did it.

1244
00:58:06,120 --> 00:58:09,160
Speaker 1: I had a Yoni massage. Yeah, and it was very

1245
00:58:10,280 --> 00:58:13,440
Speaker 1: unexpected the things that came up, even even knowing because

1246
00:58:13,480 --> 00:58:16,360
Speaker 1: I've learned the modality, I understand it, but then actually

1247
00:58:16,400 --> 00:58:19,880
Speaker 1: really experiencing it with someone who's another woman who like,

1248
00:58:19,920 --> 00:58:22,680
Speaker 1: there's no there's literally no attraction. She had, wants nothing

1249
00:58:22,720 --> 00:58:25,520
Speaker 1: from me except to make to help me release something.

1250
00:58:25,840 --> 00:58:29,840
Speaker 1: And just realizing where I'm numb in certain places and

1251
00:58:29,920 --> 00:58:32,600
Speaker 1: where it actually is painful in certain places. That was

1252
00:58:32,680 --> 00:58:35,600
Speaker 1: that was a real shakra for me because even in

1253
00:58:35,640 --> 00:58:39,160
Speaker 1: my own practice of you know, Yoni mapping myself, like

1254
00:58:39,240 --> 00:58:42,040
Speaker 1: it's different when someone else does it. And I didn't

1255
00:58:42,040 --> 00:58:44,960
Speaker 1: realize I was experiencing pain in certain places until like

1256
00:58:45,040 --> 00:58:46,680
Speaker 1: she was touching me there and I was like what

1257
00:58:46,800 --> 00:58:49,080
Speaker 1: the ow? What the fuck? And I was like why

1258
00:58:49,240 --> 00:58:51,160
Speaker 1: this is She's not even pushing hard, like why does

1259
00:58:51,200 --> 00:58:55,520
Speaker 1: it hurt here? And then allowing myself to really walk

1260
00:58:55,600 --> 00:59:01,160
Speaker 1: through the meditation and accessing why the why? And it's

1261
00:59:01,200 --> 00:59:05,200
Speaker 1: usually like very visceral and like very you know, you

1262
00:59:05,280 --> 00:59:06,760
Speaker 1: know what it is. It's kind of like even too.

1263
00:59:06,760 --> 00:59:09,160
Speaker 1: I don't if you've ever ever gotten a massage and

1264
00:59:09,200 --> 00:59:11,560
Speaker 1: like someone like hits like a point like or like

1265
00:59:11,560 --> 00:59:13,360
Speaker 1: a not and you're like, oh shit, I know what

1266
00:59:13,400 --> 00:59:18,720
Speaker 1: that is, Like that feels emotional, like that's anger. I like, yeah, yeah,

1267
00:59:18,760 --> 00:59:21,360
Speaker 1: that's stress. Like you know, you carry stress in your neck,

1268
00:59:21,480 --> 00:59:24,920
Speaker 1: like you know, where when you are aware, aware enough

1269
00:59:25,080 --> 00:59:27,760
Speaker 1: and open enough, you can really access and understand what

1270
00:59:27,920 --> 00:59:31,280
Speaker 1: it is actually that's in there and blocking. I mean

1271
00:59:31,320 --> 00:59:33,720
Speaker 1: sometimes you can until it's fully released, but when you can,

1272
00:59:33,840 --> 00:59:34,760
Speaker 1: it's like fuck.

1273
00:59:36,080 --> 00:59:38,560
Speaker 3: And it's true. And so I just wanted to I know,

1274
00:59:39,040 --> 00:59:42,280
Speaker 3: going on going on, I just want to. I just

1275
00:59:42,280 --> 00:59:44,400
Speaker 3: wanted to press preface why we're going to give you

1276
00:59:44,560 --> 00:59:47,640
Speaker 3: Yoni map each other, Yeah, Costa Rica, because it's going

1277
00:59:47,680 --> 00:59:51,640
Speaker 3: to a elevate our business and our manifestation and our

1278
00:59:51,640 --> 00:59:54,560
Speaker 3: intimacy levels, and but mostly it's going to release some

1279
00:59:54,600 --> 00:59:55,720
Speaker 3: shit too, to make for him for them.

1280
00:59:55,760 --> 00:59:57,160
Speaker 1: And if you're listening to this right now in the

1281
00:59:57,160 --> 00:59:59,040
Speaker 1: first week of February, it's already happened.

1282
01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:00,440
Speaker 3: What happened.

1283
01:00:00,440 --> 01:00:03,600
Speaker 1: It's no Jamilla touched my pussy and I probably touched

1284
01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:10,560
Speaker 1: hers and we cried, and now we're going to be billionaires. Period. Anyway,

1285
01:00:10,640 --> 01:00:11,280
Speaker 1: number two.

1286
01:00:11,160 --> 01:00:16,280
Speaker 3: Anyway, number two, stop being so hard on yourself when

1287
01:00:16,280 --> 01:00:20,240
Speaker 3: it comes to making relationship mistakes, forgiving yourself and trusting

1288
01:00:20,280 --> 01:00:23,080
Speaker 3: the work that you've done. Ooh, this one hits a

1289
01:00:23,080 --> 01:00:24,680
Speaker 3: home for me, honey.

1290
01:00:26,200 --> 01:00:28,440
Speaker 1: Because the last year, it was a hard year for me.

1291
01:00:31,360 --> 01:00:32,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, you had it hard.

1292
01:00:32,440 --> 01:00:36,680
Speaker 1: I did a little bit of regressing, just a little bit,

1293
01:00:36,760 --> 01:00:38,920
Speaker 1: did a little regression in my healing process.

1294
01:00:39,240 --> 01:00:41,560
Speaker 3: Now against all my red flags. I don't know if

1295
01:00:41,560 --> 01:00:45,040
Speaker 3: it's called regressing. It's it's you know what, it's necessary testing.

1296
01:00:45,560 --> 01:00:48,200
Speaker 3: It's necessary testing to get to the next level. It's

1297
01:00:48,200 --> 01:00:51,040
Speaker 3: not regression. It's the last I learned.

1298
01:00:51,320 --> 01:00:53,959
Speaker 1: And you know what, I accessed some really good shit

1299
01:00:54,080 --> 01:00:56,840
Speaker 1: in that relationship to things that I knew. I finally

1300
01:00:56,840 --> 01:00:58,800
Speaker 1: had a partner where I could explore certain things I'd

1301
01:00:58,840 --> 01:01:01,120
Speaker 1: never been able to and so whether it was a

1302
01:01:01,160 --> 01:01:03,280
Speaker 1: healthy version of the thing I wanted to ignore and

1303
01:01:03,360 --> 01:01:07,480
Speaker 1: it was used as pure manipulation as a whole other subject. However,

1304
01:01:09,720 --> 01:01:13,040
Speaker 1: I did realize certain things about myself, specifically in the

1305
01:01:13,040 --> 01:01:19,080
Speaker 1: intimate space, because that's really where we thrived. All but

1306
01:01:19,440 --> 01:01:23,280
Speaker 1: other than that, you know, like I think after that relationship,

1307
01:01:23,320 --> 01:01:27,720
Speaker 1: I was so traumatized and it was like worse. It

1308
01:01:27,720 --> 01:01:30,520
Speaker 1: felt worse than like maybe this is probably not the truth,

1309
01:01:30,560 --> 01:01:33,600
Speaker 1: but it's just time numbs you and you forget. But

1310
01:01:33,680 --> 01:01:37,600
Speaker 1: it felt harder than like my baby daddy breakup. I

1311
01:01:37,640 --> 01:01:39,800
Speaker 1: know that's not the truth, but I think that maybe

1312
01:01:39,800 --> 01:01:42,920
Speaker 1: it was just that pain was retriggered and it felt

1313
01:01:43,200 --> 01:01:46,920
Speaker 1: like that, like I felt so much betrayal, I felt

1314
01:01:46,920 --> 01:01:49,840
Speaker 1: so much confusion. I felt so much anger for myself.

1315
01:01:50,320 --> 01:01:53,520
Speaker 1: I was like so mad at myself that I let

1316
01:01:53,560 --> 01:01:57,480
Speaker 1: this nigga fucking fuck with my with my my knowingness

1317
01:01:57,840 --> 01:02:01,200
Speaker 1: of shit, like I knew, you know, and I let

1318
01:02:01,640 --> 01:02:05,960
Speaker 1: my also my judgment of myself, feeling like I'm too boundaried,

1319
01:02:06,280 --> 01:02:09,240
Speaker 1: feeling like maybe I don't give people and the benefit

1320
01:02:09,280 --> 01:02:12,000
Speaker 1: of the doubt enough, and like knowing that actually that

1321
01:02:12,080 --> 01:02:14,320
Speaker 1: is my superpower, that no, I do give people the

1322
01:02:14,320 --> 01:02:16,480
Speaker 1: benefit of the doubt, and typically the ones that I do,

1323
01:02:16,600 --> 01:02:18,560
Speaker 1: it's because they needed the benefit of the doubt, and

1324
01:02:18,600 --> 01:02:21,320
Speaker 1: typically when I don't, it's because they're up to no good.

1325
01:02:22,360 --> 01:02:27,440
Speaker 1: And so because of that, I really allowed my boundaries

1326
01:02:27,520 --> 01:02:32,439
Speaker 1: to uh be in limbo. And after that, after coming

1327
01:02:32,440 --> 01:02:36,880
Speaker 1: out of that relationship. I was so like I was

1328
01:02:36,920 --> 01:02:39,920
Speaker 1: like trying to do womb clearing, Like I didn't trust

1329
01:02:40,320 --> 01:02:43,760
Speaker 1: my body. I didn't trust like even the thought of

1330
01:02:43,840 --> 01:02:46,480
Speaker 1: having sex. I've never felt this way like revolted me

1331
01:02:46,560 --> 01:02:47,880
Speaker 1: in a way that I was like, I don't even

1332
01:02:47,960 --> 01:02:50,600
Speaker 1: deserve that type of pleasure because I didn't even I

1333
01:02:50,640 --> 01:02:52,520
Speaker 1: don't even know how to respect my womb enough to

1334
01:02:52,600 --> 01:02:57,240
Speaker 1: like the have the discernment and who's who I'm allowing

1335
01:02:57,280 --> 01:02:59,800
Speaker 1: to enter And this person was unhealthy in a lot

1336
01:02:59,800 --> 01:03:03,320
Speaker 1: of ways also like didn't treat his body well, you know.

1337
01:03:03,360 --> 01:03:07,800
Speaker 1: And it's like, so because of that, I totally attest

1338
01:03:07,880 --> 01:03:12,160
Speaker 1: to this feeling of like needing to forgive yourself for

1339
01:03:12,200 --> 01:03:15,560
Speaker 1: those situations because I had a lot of healing before

1340
01:03:15,600 --> 01:03:18,560
Speaker 1: that that like doesn't get deleted because I because I

1341
01:03:18,600 --> 01:03:22,160
Speaker 1: needed this lesson. And so even and even for the

1342
01:03:22,200 --> 01:03:25,000
Speaker 1: women that maybe like are just in the beginning of

1343
01:03:25,000 --> 01:03:30,280
Speaker 1: their healing, it's so important that you allow yourself the

1344
01:03:30,320 --> 01:03:33,920
Speaker 1: space to fuck up in this new chapter, chapter chapter,

1345
01:03:44,760 --> 01:03:46,120
Speaker 1: because you are going to fuck up on the new

1346
01:03:46,200 --> 01:03:47,240
Speaker 1: chapter and you don't just wake.

1347
01:03:47,120 --> 01:03:49,360
Speaker 3: Up with your own holy bitch that's healed.

1348
01:03:48,960 --> 01:03:52,400
Speaker 1: And high valued, you know. And I say that with

1349
01:03:53,120 --> 01:03:55,600
Speaker 1: one of those quotation marks is I don't really like

1350
01:03:55,640 --> 01:03:58,600
Speaker 1: that term either. I hate that term actually, and I

1351
01:03:58,760 --> 01:04:01,320
Speaker 1: much more like the term high functioning because I understand

1352
01:04:01,360 --> 01:04:04,240
Speaker 1: what that that feels like. There's a path that doesn't

1353
01:04:04,240 --> 01:04:07,280
Speaker 1: feel like there's some sort of like violence and shame

1354
01:04:07,680 --> 01:04:10,960
Speaker 1: being imposed upon women where we've already are like our

1355
01:04:11,000 --> 01:04:13,400
Speaker 1: self worth is always in question all the time, already

1356
01:04:13,440 --> 01:04:17,560
Speaker 1: in the society. That adding value, even in the spaces

1357
01:04:17,560 --> 01:04:20,680
Speaker 1: of women talking about being high valued women, it just

1358
01:04:21,320 --> 01:04:24,919
Speaker 1: I feel like reverses. It's like actually taking us back

1359
01:04:24,960 --> 01:04:28,560
Speaker 1: by calling it that, but value it is relative. So

1360
01:04:28,640 --> 01:04:31,960
Speaker 1: with that said, giving yourself the space and permission to

1361
01:04:32,080 --> 01:04:34,120
Speaker 1: know in this new chapter you're going to fuck up.

1362
01:04:34,120 --> 01:04:36,960
Speaker 1: If you're fresh out of toxicity, I don't recommend you

1363
01:04:37,200 --> 01:04:39,640
Speaker 1: getting into a relationship, bitch. You probably need to set

1364
01:04:39,680 --> 01:04:41,560
Speaker 1: the fuck down for a second. You need to listen

1365
01:04:41,560 --> 01:04:43,920
Speaker 1: to your friends because they've told you a thousand motherfucking times,

1366
01:04:44,080 --> 01:04:45,680
Speaker 1: and they're going to tell you again when you get

1367
01:04:45,720 --> 01:04:48,120
Speaker 1: on tender five minutes after you broke up with a

1368
01:04:48,160 --> 01:04:50,240
Speaker 1: niggative because you're going to casually date someone. You're not

1369
01:04:50,280 --> 01:04:52,320
Speaker 1: looking for anything serious. But I'm just gonna like have

1370
01:04:52,440 --> 01:04:54,640
Speaker 1: fun because like, you know, I deserve that, Like that

1371
01:04:54,800 --> 01:04:57,640
Speaker 1: that was really crazy. No, bitch, you're not ready. Sit down.

1372
01:04:58,360 --> 01:05:00,960
Speaker 3: I mean, there's one thing that goes seeking and sometimes

1373
01:05:01,000 --> 01:05:03,640
Speaker 3: things come knocking at your front door. You're on tender,

1374
01:05:03,640 --> 01:05:05,200
Speaker 3: you're seeking, Yeah, don't be on tender.

1375
01:05:05,320 --> 01:05:05,920
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1376
01:05:05,960 --> 01:05:09,520
Speaker 3: And also just realizing too that like that step one,

1377
01:05:09,560 --> 01:05:11,960
Speaker 3: the friendship thing and like being really honest with people

1378
01:05:12,000 --> 01:05:15,440
Speaker 3: like immediately, sometimes that's how the snakes get you, because

1379
01:05:15,440 --> 01:05:17,360
Speaker 3: you are really honest, and then they'll play on that

1380
01:05:17,480 --> 01:05:20,280
Speaker 3: and then they'll be they can be they'll be manipulative

1381
01:05:20,760 --> 01:05:24,200
Speaker 3: by having the information, and first they'll they'll act like

1382
01:05:24,240 --> 01:05:26,520
Speaker 3: it's okay, they'll sucument and then they'll use it against you.

1383
01:05:26,960 --> 01:05:28,880
Speaker 3: And then it makes you question everything because now you've

1384
01:05:28,960 --> 01:05:30,800
Speaker 3: let down your guard. It has seemed like they have

1385
01:05:30,880 --> 01:05:33,440
Speaker 3: been safe people, and now you're both fucking confused. Like

1386
01:05:33,520 --> 01:05:35,560
Speaker 3: you're confused, bitch, because you thought you were doing something

1387
01:05:35,920 --> 01:05:38,400
Speaker 3: correct and then they you know, they backtrack because that's

1388
01:05:38,440 --> 01:05:40,920
Speaker 3: happened too, and then it makes you question all of

1389
01:05:41,160 --> 01:05:43,840
Speaker 3: all of your the lessons that you've learned. And it's

1390
01:05:43,920 --> 01:05:46,880
Speaker 3: just important to know that, like you can fuck up

1391
01:05:46,960 --> 01:05:52,560
Speaker 3: and know better. You know, and it's like spirit will

1392
01:05:52,600 --> 01:05:54,640
Speaker 3: test you, and Spirit will make sure did you get it?

1393
01:05:54,640 --> 01:05:56,680
Speaker 3: They'll it's gonna drive in the point and sometimes we're

1394
01:05:56,680 --> 01:06:00,000
Speaker 3: gonna fall short. And that's okay. But how do you

1395
01:06:00,200 --> 01:06:02,000
Speaker 3: how do you use that and not take it into

1396
01:06:02,040 --> 01:06:04,800
Speaker 3: the next relationship? You not say so guarded in the

1397
01:06:04,800 --> 01:06:07,880
Speaker 3: next relationship that you don't let a good thing come through,

1398
01:06:08,240 --> 01:06:10,960
Speaker 3: you know, because you know there's some terrible niggas and

1399
01:06:10,960 --> 01:06:13,280
Speaker 3: there's some great niggas, and it doesn't mean that everyone's

1400
01:06:13,320 --> 01:06:17,480
Speaker 3: the same, but carrying that same vulnerability into each one

1401
01:06:17,600 --> 01:06:21,360
Speaker 3: and not taking the wounds with you and the baggage

1402
01:06:21,400 --> 01:06:23,640
Speaker 3: with you, and just letting everything be a clean slate.

1403
01:06:24,440 --> 01:06:26,120
Speaker 1: I mean, that's one thing I promised myself coming out

1404
01:06:26,160 --> 01:06:27,680
Speaker 1: of that relationship that I wasn't going to allow this

1405
01:06:27,760 --> 01:06:31,120
Speaker 1: to harden me. I wasn't going to allow this person

1406
01:06:31,240 --> 01:06:35,000
Speaker 1: and this situation to have this much power over how

1407
01:06:35,120 --> 01:06:38,320
Speaker 1: I'm able my capacity for love in my next relationship.

1408
01:06:38,600 --> 01:06:42,960
Speaker 1: And even because my next relationship or that person showed

1409
01:06:43,040 --> 01:06:47,120
Speaker 1: up relatively fast after I let that go, I did.

1410
01:06:47,160 --> 01:06:50,080
Speaker 1: I had a lot of fear around is this too soon?

1411
01:06:50,840 --> 01:06:55,040
Speaker 1: Like what like do I I don't trust myself and

1412
01:06:55,280 --> 01:06:58,240
Speaker 1: I think the piece of allowing us to be friends

1413
01:06:58,840 --> 01:07:01,240
Speaker 1: for a long time, and again for me, removing the

1414
01:07:01,280 --> 01:07:05,240
Speaker 1: sex for over six months, like really allowed me to

1415
01:07:06,200 --> 01:07:10,280
Speaker 1: know that okay, like I'm okay, like I'm making good choices.

1416
01:07:10,440 --> 01:07:14,040
Speaker 1: I can trust myself. My intuition is good, like you know.

1417
01:07:14,160 --> 01:07:17,439
Speaker 1: So I think the friendship is really important, like you said,

1418
01:07:17,480 --> 01:07:21,080
Speaker 1: going back to number one in this in the second

1419
01:07:21,120 --> 01:07:26,840
Speaker 1: part of giving yourself, forgiving yourself for the past and

1420
01:07:26,880 --> 01:07:28,960
Speaker 1: the mistakes that you might make even in the interim,

1421
01:07:29,160 --> 01:07:31,040
Speaker 1: because I don't know, Like I think sometimes it is

1422
01:07:31,080 --> 01:07:34,000
Speaker 1: inevitable that you might bring something from a previous relationship,

1423
01:07:34,160 --> 01:07:36,680
Speaker 1: because it's not even from the relationship really, it's probably

1424
01:07:36,720 --> 01:07:41,280
Speaker 1: from something before that, your first relationship in love, you know.

1425
01:07:42,680 --> 01:07:45,160
Speaker 1: But hopefully, you know, because of the friendship, you're able

1426
01:07:45,200 --> 01:07:47,560
Speaker 1: to really talk through that thing with your partner, you know,

1427
01:07:47,720 --> 01:07:48,480
Speaker 1: and just trusting.

1428
01:07:48,520 --> 01:07:50,480
Speaker 3: It's more about trusting that you've done the work.

1429
01:07:50,880 --> 01:07:52,360
Speaker 1: And I think it doesn't answer the phone, Like he

1430
01:07:52,360 --> 01:07:53,960
Speaker 1: doesn't talk on the phone a lot. He's not like

1431
01:07:54,000 --> 01:07:56,600
Speaker 1: good with the phone, And that was super triggering for.

1432
01:07:56,600 --> 01:07:58,320
Speaker 3: Me, oh right, because the last thing I would pretend

1433
01:07:58,360 --> 01:07:59,560
Speaker 3: not to be good with this phone because he was

1434
01:07:59,600 --> 01:08:00,640
Speaker 3: being a fun boy.

1435
01:08:00,480 --> 01:08:03,200
Speaker 1: And also there was that, and also we would talk

1436
01:08:03,320 --> 01:08:05,919
Speaker 1: multiple times a day, and I got and I'm used

1437
01:08:05,960 --> 01:08:08,640
Speaker 1: to that cadence. So like, going into this new relationship,

1438
01:08:08,680 --> 01:08:11,280
Speaker 1: I could have totally fucked this whole relationship up just

1439
01:08:11,320 --> 01:08:13,600
Speaker 1: based off that because I was so in my head

1440
01:08:13,640 --> 01:08:15,680
Speaker 1: about it. I was so like, why is he answering

1441
01:08:15,720 --> 01:08:17,360
Speaker 1: the phone? Why has he called me all day? Like

1442
01:08:17,360 --> 01:08:19,479
Speaker 1: what the fuck is he doing? Like he says he's

1443
01:08:19,479 --> 01:08:21,800
Speaker 1: not fucking either, my fucking would if he's fucking, Like

1444
01:08:21,840 --> 01:08:24,040
Speaker 1: you know, it was just like it got crazy, but

1445
01:08:24,439 --> 01:08:26,559
Speaker 1: I didn't allow I worked through it, and I also

1446
01:08:26,640 --> 01:08:29,559
Speaker 1: communicated with him and said, hey, like I'm just not

1447
01:08:29,680 --> 01:08:31,920
Speaker 1: used to this, Like I understand you're not good with

1448
01:08:31,960 --> 01:08:34,600
Speaker 1: your phone and that's okay, and I'm working through it,

1449
01:08:34,640 --> 01:08:37,000
Speaker 1: but I want you to know that like if I

1450
01:08:37,040 --> 01:08:38,479
Speaker 1: call you and then if I call you in the

1451
01:08:38,520 --> 01:08:39,920
Speaker 1: morning and then I don't hear from you until six

1452
01:08:39,960 --> 01:08:43,600
Speaker 1: o'clock at night, that is like not okay. And I

1453
01:08:43,600 --> 01:08:45,200
Speaker 1: don't even know if it's from my past relationship. I

1454
01:08:45,200 --> 01:08:47,080
Speaker 1: think it's also just like there's a level of safety

1455
01:08:47,080 --> 01:08:48,559
Speaker 1: that I need, There's a level of check in that

1456
01:08:48,600 --> 01:08:50,920
Speaker 1: I need. There's a level of like, if there's an emergency,

1457
01:08:50,960 --> 01:08:53,640
Speaker 1: do I have access to you? Can I depend on you?

1458
01:08:54,120 --> 01:08:57,960
Speaker 1: And so like when I was able to share why

1459
01:08:58,120 --> 01:09:00,800
Speaker 1: in that way, like there was adjustment room, you know.

1460
01:09:00,840 --> 01:09:03,320
Speaker 1: And sometimes it's just as simple as that. Sometimes it's not.

1461
01:09:03,560 --> 01:09:10,479
Speaker 3: But yeah, yes, I think we got a little Yeah.

1462
01:09:10,560 --> 01:09:14,240
Speaker 3: So four, this one's really important because it.

1463
01:09:14,240 --> 01:09:14,880
Speaker 2: Is number three.

1464
01:09:15,040 --> 01:09:16,439
Speaker 1: Oh we didn't do three, I don't think so.

1465
01:09:17,040 --> 01:09:22,960
Speaker 6: Oh sorry, am I What do you bring to the

1466
01:09:23,000 --> 01:09:25,000
Speaker 6: table in terms of oh this we kind of went

1467
01:09:25,040 --> 01:09:28,680
Speaker 6: into this past experiences, trauma and understanding your needs and wants.

1468
01:09:29,320 --> 01:09:33,640
Speaker 3: I think that as women, there's such a terrible inventory

1469
01:09:33,640 --> 01:09:35,800
Speaker 3: of niggas that a lot of times we don't have

1470
01:09:35,840 --> 01:09:38,120
Speaker 3: to check in on our own shit. The men are

1471
01:09:38,240 --> 01:09:40,960
Speaker 3: so like it's so bare minimum right now, And I

1472
01:09:41,040 --> 01:09:43,280
Speaker 3: know it's it's we got to look higher and lower

1473
01:09:43,320 --> 01:09:46,920
Speaker 3: in new places. But like a lot of men are

1474
01:09:46,960 --> 01:09:50,679
Speaker 3: like operating on this new, weird frequency that I don't

1475
01:09:50,760 --> 01:09:53,040
Speaker 3: know what the fuck you not? I mean, just like

1476
01:09:53,400 --> 01:09:57,479
Speaker 3: they've gone really deep in like women hating. But sometimes

1477
01:09:57,479 --> 01:10:02,880
Speaker 3: I think we bypass our How are traumas show up

1478
01:10:02,920 --> 01:10:05,880
Speaker 3: in our relationships? And I know people always talking about

1479
01:10:05,920 --> 01:10:07,160
Speaker 3: like what do you bring the table? What do you

1480
01:10:07,160 --> 01:10:08,680
Speaker 3: bring the table? But like, what do you bring to

1481
01:10:08,680 --> 01:10:12,720
Speaker 3: the table in terms of your fucking trauma? You know?

1482
01:10:12,760 --> 01:10:14,439
Speaker 3: How do you love? How does that prevent you from

1483
01:10:14,479 --> 01:10:15,040
Speaker 3: being soft?

1484
01:10:15,120 --> 01:10:15,280
Speaker 4: You know?

1485
01:10:15,280 --> 01:10:18,600
Speaker 3: Because I think sometimes it's I think for me, particularly

1486
01:10:18,640 --> 01:10:20,599
Speaker 3: me talking to me is like I hear all these

1487
01:10:20,640 --> 01:10:23,880
Speaker 3: things all day on social on reels about black women

1488
01:10:23,960 --> 01:10:26,800
Speaker 3: not being soft, and we're in our masculine and like,

1489
01:10:26,840 --> 01:10:29,160
Speaker 3: you know, a lot of bashing of black women from

1490
01:10:29,360 --> 01:10:33,639
Speaker 3: black men, and so I get defensive when I'm told

1491
01:10:33,680 --> 01:10:37,519
Speaker 3: I'm not soft or I'm you know, not I do.

1492
01:10:37,680 --> 01:10:42,719
Speaker 3: I get very defensive, and it's prevented me from actually

1493
01:10:42,880 --> 01:10:45,559
Speaker 3: checking with myself and being like, could you be softer?

1494
01:10:45,800 --> 01:10:48,800
Speaker 3: Could you speak nicer? Why is that hard for you?

1495
01:10:49,080 --> 01:10:53,760
Speaker 3: Even when I'm told in the moment, hey, I realize

1496
01:10:53,800 --> 01:10:56,519
Speaker 3: immediately my walls go up and I'm in defense mode.

1497
01:10:56,520 --> 01:10:58,599
Speaker 3: I don't want to do it and having to check

1498
01:10:58,640 --> 01:11:01,000
Speaker 3: with myself like where does that come from from? Why

1499
01:11:01,040 --> 01:11:02,280
Speaker 3: can't you apologize?

1500
01:11:02,360 --> 01:11:02,519
Speaker 1: You know?

1501
01:11:02,560 --> 01:11:04,599
Speaker 3: There are certain things that I'm just like, I'm having

1502
01:11:04,640 --> 01:11:06,640
Speaker 3: to work on my softness, but first I have to

1503
01:11:06,640 --> 01:11:08,479
Speaker 3: be able to address it, and I have to soften

1504
01:11:08,520 --> 01:11:10,639
Speaker 3: myself to be able to be like, Okay, this person

1505
01:11:10,680 --> 01:11:13,000
Speaker 3: is telling me this because they love me. Maybe this

1506
01:11:13,040 --> 01:11:14,920
Speaker 3: is how I grew up. Maybe I don't mean it

1507
01:11:14,960 --> 01:11:18,559
Speaker 3: this way, but if someone else is interpreting it this way,

1508
01:11:18,680 --> 01:11:22,160
Speaker 3: how can I change? How can I get uncomfortable so

1509
01:11:22,200 --> 01:11:24,160
Speaker 3: that we can be comfortable and I can make do

1510
01:11:24,240 --> 01:11:28,639
Speaker 3: something differently? Bless you, bless.

1511
01:11:28,439 --> 01:11:32,560
Speaker 1: Youe it ooh, I have blue dream, baby blue dream.

1512
01:11:32,800 --> 01:11:34,679
Speaker 1: You know it's funny that you say that too, because

1513
01:11:34,680 --> 01:11:38,280
Speaker 1: this has come up for me in my relationship, because

1514
01:11:38,280 --> 01:11:40,559
Speaker 1: I'm finally in a relationship where I really feel safe.

1515
01:11:41,400 --> 01:11:43,799
Speaker 1: So I'm usually on the defense waiting for a niggative

1516
01:11:43,800 --> 01:11:46,719
Speaker 1: fuck up, and they always do. They always in my mind,

1517
01:11:47,320 --> 01:11:49,200
Speaker 1: to me, I feel like they fuck up. They might

1518
01:11:49,200 --> 01:11:51,720
Speaker 1: have a different storyline, but to me, I feel like

1519
01:11:51,840 --> 01:11:56,719
Speaker 1: I've been pretty great and become ungreat once they become ungreat,

1520
01:11:57,240 --> 01:12:00,439
Speaker 1: So I'm always waiting for them to fuck and so

1521
01:12:00,600 --> 01:12:03,000
Speaker 1: in this relationship that just hasn't happened. And so then

1522
01:12:03,040 --> 01:12:10,559
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, okay, cool up. Now I'm gonna

1523
01:12:10,680 --> 01:12:12,519
Speaker 1: like just like punching him a little bit like and

1524
01:12:12,520 --> 01:12:13,400
Speaker 1: then I'm like, damn, am.

1525
01:12:13,320 --> 01:12:14,360
Speaker 3: I gonna be the one to fuck up this?

1526
01:12:14,439 --> 01:12:16,920
Speaker 1: Relationship, and I'm like, oh my god, like I haven't

1527
01:12:16,960 --> 01:12:19,960
Speaker 1: even had the opportunity to let my fucking shit, my

1528
01:12:20,000 --> 01:12:21,920
Speaker 1: little fucking toxic flag.

1529
01:12:21,600 --> 01:12:23,720
Speaker 3: Fly, because it's usually justified, but.

1530
01:12:23,680 --> 01:12:26,920
Speaker 1: Because I, like I'm I'm usually the like the victim

1531
01:12:26,960 --> 01:12:29,679
Speaker 1: of the toxicity first, so then I'm just on defeat

1532
01:12:29,720 --> 01:12:32,920
Speaker 1: on defense, trying to like heal niggasm shit. And then

1533
01:12:33,080 --> 01:12:35,800
Speaker 1: now that I like have a very like a man

1534
01:12:35,840 --> 01:12:38,920
Speaker 1: that's been dedicated to his healing, I think even far

1535
01:12:39,000 --> 01:12:41,679
Speaker 1: beyond I became even aware that I had the option

1536
01:12:41,800 --> 01:12:48,040
Speaker 1: to do it, I'm like, oh wow, cool, Yeah, I'm

1537
01:12:48,120 --> 01:12:51,760
Speaker 1: sorry about that. That you didn't deserve that, and that

1538
01:12:51,920 --> 01:12:53,880
Speaker 1: is some shit I need to work on.

1539
01:12:54,360 --> 01:12:56,640
Speaker 3: And and that's the thing. And you know, that's the

1540
01:12:56,680 --> 01:12:59,639
Speaker 3: thing about dating someone who is your equal and who's

1541
01:12:59,640 --> 01:13:02,200
Speaker 3: always already on the journey and already self aware and

1542
01:13:02,240 --> 01:13:05,080
Speaker 3: like committed and wanting to invest in a relationship and

1543
01:13:05,120 --> 01:13:07,519
Speaker 3: invest it in love. It's like that's when you get

1544
01:13:07,600 --> 01:13:11,400
Speaker 3: to really to step your game up. That's where you

1545
01:13:11,479 --> 01:13:13,280
Speaker 3: get to grow, and that's where you get to stretch

1546
01:13:13,320 --> 01:13:16,040
Speaker 3: and be like, oh, like, this person's actually making me

1547
01:13:16,840 --> 01:13:19,439
Speaker 3: have to be better. But a lot of times women

1548
01:13:19,479 --> 01:13:22,080
Speaker 3: are dating below them, and so you don't even get

1549
01:13:22,080 --> 01:13:24,040
Speaker 3: to that point because then stay fuck up. Within the

1550
01:13:24,040 --> 01:13:27,120
Speaker 3: first five days, first five business days, they're fucking up.

1551
01:13:27,160 --> 01:13:30,000
Speaker 3: So it never, it never, rarely gets to the point

1552
01:13:30,000 --> 01:13:32,439
Speaker 3: where you have to look at yourself and grow and grow.

1553
01:13:33,040 --> 01:13:35,360
Speaker 3: And that's where you're like, oh, this is what the

1554
01:13:35,479 --> 01:13:38,559
Speaker 3: journey of love looks like. When I'm safe and someone

1555
01:13:38,560 --> 01:13:40,960
Speaker 3: can tell me gently, hey, I love you, Hey, look

1556
01:13:41,000 --> 01:13:43,240
Speaker 3: at me. I don't really I don't like that, you know,

1557
01:13:43,320 --> 01:13:46,160
Speaker 3: I know, you know. It's just a different it's a

1558
01:13:46,200 --> 01:13:57,000
Speaker 3: whole new, whole new Not being able to acapella sing

1559
01:13:57,040 --> 01:14:01,120
Speaker 3: is remakes really a whole new world, a whole new world,

1560
01:14:01,280 --> 01:14:07,160
Speaker 3: a whole new world. Not from Maladin bo relaxed from

1561
01:14:07,240 --> 01:14:10,000
Speaker 3: Jim Aladdin. It's a new remix.

1562
01:14:11,280 --> 01:14:14,639
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Okay, number four.

1563
01:14:17,560 --> 01:14:20,080
Speaker 3: That number four is I think we kind of touched

1564
01:14:20,080 --> 01:14:21,559
Speaker 3: on this, but I'm gonna add something to this because

1565
01:14:21,560 --> 01:14:23,160
Speaker 3: I forgot it on a different one. The number four

1566
01:14:23,200 --> 01:14:25,479
Speaker 3: is authenticity. Are you being honest? And or are you

1567
01:14:25,479 --> 01:14:27,479
Speaker 3: being the digestible version of yourself? And since we kind

1568
01:14:27,479 --> 01:14:28,760
Speaker 3: of already touch on this, I'd like to touch on

1569
01:14:28,800 --> 01:14:32,800
Speaker 3: something more important. Stepping out of your comfort zone when

1570
01:14:32,800 --> 01:14:37,720
Speaker 3: you date necessary. Yes, everyone's like, you always date. Never

1571
01:14:37,760 --> 01:14:39,840
Speaker 3: mind what I was gonna say, you always ate the

1572
01:14:39,840 --> 01:14:42,640
Speaker 3: black eye. This is my my white friend's talking to

1573
01:14:42,720 --> 01:14:44,160
Speaker 3: my white friend. The only dates the black guys do?

1574
01:14:44,160 --> 01:14:45,120
Speaker 3: Want you do somebody else?

1575
01:14:45,439 --> 01:14:46,760
Speaker 1: That's oh, they're saying that to her.

1576
01:14:46,840 --> 01:14:50,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, But you know, I think sometimes we're like, if

1577
01:14:50,680 --> 01:14:52,479
Speaker 3: you always date this kind of honestly, if you're always

1578
01:14:52,560 --> 01:14:54,519
Speaker 3: dating a thug and he has four phones and he

1579
01:14:54,560 --> 01:14:56,080
Speaker 3: always has to make a run and you never know

1580
01:14:56,160 --> 01:14:58,320
Speaker 3: where he's going, and you don't know really what he does,

1581
01:14:58,360 --> 01:15:00,960
Speaker 3: and he has four baby mamas, and you know he's

1582
01:15:01,200 --> 01:15:04,240
Speaker 3: probably a drug dealer. Probably date somebody a new type,

1583
01:15:04,280 --> 01:15:06,760
Speaker 3: you know, with a job, a real one. No, you know,

1584
01:15:06,800 --> 01:15:10,160
Speaker 3: no shade to the drug dealers. But I think sometimes

1585
01:15:10,240 --> 01:15:13,240
Speaker 3: we take this too far. And if you've been a

1586
01:15:13,240 --> 01:15:15,200
Speaker 3: part of Good Moms for a long time, you remember

1587
01:15:15,240 --> 01:15:15,680
Speaker 3: the time we.

1588
01:15:15,640 --> 01:15:19,760
Speaker 1: Took this too far, you know, you know, I think

1589
01:15:19,760 --> 01:15:22,559
Speaker 1: we were talking to our last episode about stupid bitch

1590
01:15:22,640 --> 01:15:25,799
Speaker 1: and then like the stupid aware bitch. Yes we were,

1591
01:15:25,840 --> 01:15:29,400
Speaker 1: we didn't we thankfully those relationships were at the very

1592
01:15:29,439 --> 01:15:34,120
Speaker 1: deadline of stupid aware bitch and stupid bitch. But actually

1593
01:15:34,160 --> 01:15:36,120
Speaker 1: I don't even know if we were aware. I mean,

1594
01:15:36,160 --> 01:15:38,960
Speaker 1: we were aware we were actively choosing men that we've

1595
01:15:39,080 --> 01:15:42,439
Speaker 1: never given a chance to before. We both knew we

1596
01:15:42,439 --> 01:15:45,920
Speaker 1: were choosing nerds, and not that nerds are not cute,

1597
01:15:45,960 --> 01:15:51,360
Speaker 1: but these are very specifics. Are cool like bad, like

1598
01:15:51,479 --> 01:15:55,880
Speaker 1: badge fashions, like white people, talking voices.

1599
01:15:56,280 --> 01:15:59,920
Speaker 3: Like like YouTube buffs, like not really wanting the fun.

1600
01:16:00,920 --> 01:16:04,600
Speaker 3: There was a lot of red flags, nerd flags. It

1601
01:16:04,680 --> 01:16:06,479
Speaker 3: was a lot nerd flags, you know, And it was

1602
01:16:06,479 --> 01:16:08,280
Speaker 3: a good thing at one point. And you know, no

1603
01:16:08,400 --> 01:16:12,920
Speaker 3: shade to that guy, actually a little shade, but he

1604
01:16:12,960 --> 01:16:15,920
Speaker 3: was He was older, he wanted he had a good job,

1605
01:16:16,320 --> 01:16:18,960
Speaker 3: he wanted to be married, all great things.

1606
01:16:19,160 --> 01:16:19,800
Speaker 1: He had a dog.

1607
01:16:19,800 --> 01:16:21,800
Speaker 3: He had a dog he would not leave at home

1608
01:16:21,880 --> 01:16:25,719
Speaker 3: fucking ever. He had camping equipment, I mean camping equipment,

1609
01:16:26,640 --> 01:16:28,600
Speaker 3: and that was great. He knew how to survive in

1610
01:16:28,680 --> 01:16:37,520
Speaker 3: apocalypse and that was great. But it was not realistic.

1611
01:16:37,960 --> 01:16:40,320
Speaker 3: That was too far left, and I knew it, and

1612
01:16:40,360 --> 01:16:43,960
Speaker 3: I kept trying to make myself attracted to him. I

1613
01:16:44,120 --> 01:16:49,519
Speaker 3: was from the waist down, you know, maybe even the

1614
01:16:49,520 --> 01:16:51,360
Speaker 3: belly button. He had a little ab going. But the

1615
01:16:51,400 --> 01:16:53,559
Speaker 3: thing was he wasn't my niggad and I wasn't wildly

1616
01:16:53,600 --> 01:16:55,080
Speaker 3: attracted to him, and I'm not saying it to be

1617
01:16:55,160 --> 01:16:57,559
Speaker 3: wildly attracted to every guy you date, but there is

1618
01:16:57,640 --> 01:17:01,479
Speaker 3: a level of I wanna fuck the shit out of

1619
01:17:01,520 --> 01:17:03,519
Speaker 3: you right now that has to happen because when you

1620
01:17:03,560 --> 01:17:05,639
Speaker 3: get out my motherfucking nerves and you're talking too much

1621
01:17:06,080 --> 01:17:08,240
Speaker 3: and you're doing too much, which will inevitably happen, and

1622
01:17:08,240 --> 01:17:10,320
Speaker 3: it's your peer things got to hold us down, and

1623
01:17:10,360 --> 01:17:12,439
Speaker 3: it's gonna be the it's gonna be your attraction to

1624
01:17:12,479 --> 01:17:16,320
Speaker 3: the person, and like the like them a level of like,

1625
01:17:16,400 --> 01:17:18,559
Speaker 3: I want to sit on your dick right now, that's

1626
01:17:18,560 --> 01:17:23,040
Speaker 3: gonna get you through, you know, the irritation. And I

1627
01:17:23,040 --> 01:17:27,160
Speaker 3: think sometimes women like especially you know, no shade to

1628
01:17:27,200 --> 01:17:29,960
Speaker 3: the single moms, I get it. I see single moms

1629
01:17:30,200 --> 01:17:32,800
Speaker 3: just go with the safe guy because they've been hurt

1630
01:17:32,800 --> 01:17:34,920
Speaker 3: in the past relationship. Go with the safe guy because

1631
01:17:34,960 --> 01:17:37,720
Speaker 3: he's safe, because you know he wants the things. But

1632
01:17:37,840 --> 01:17:39,760
Speaker 3: knowing good and god damn well, bitch, you don't really

1633
01:17:39,760 --> 01:17:42,240
Speaker 3: want to sit on his face all the time. And

1634
01:17:42,320 --> 01:17:44,160
Speaker 3: I think that's not fair to the other person, you know,

1635
01:17:44,200 --> 01:17:45,840
Speaker 3: because there's somewhere out there who wants to sit on

1636
01:17:45,960 --> 01:17:48,000
Speaker 3: that man's dick all the time. It's just not you.

1637
01:17:48,400 --> 01:17:50,320
Speaker 3: And I think you just do yourself a disservice trying

1638
01:17:50,320 --> 01:17:51,439
Speaker 3: to do the safe thing.

1639
01:17:51,960 --> 01:17:54,960
Speaker 1: You think that you think that I don't know if

1640
01:17:55,000 --> 01:17:57,000
Speaker 1: I agree that this is a single mom thing. I

1641
01:17:57,000 --> 01:18:00,439
Speaker 1: think that this is actually a woman without child thing

1642
01:18:00,520 --> 01:18:01,000
Speaker 1: that happens.

1643
01:18:01,320 --> 01:18:02,200
Speaker 3: Oh, you're right, it's both.

1644
01:18:02,200 --> 01:18:04,479
Speaker 1: But sometimes I think I can understand why you would

1645
01:18:04,479 --> 01:18:08,320
Speaker 1: say that it probably is a demographic of single mothers

1646
01:18:08,320 --> 01:18:10,040
Speaker 1: that just want help and support.

1647
01:18:10,479 --> 01:18:12,800
Speaker 3: There's a safety you have to You need safety not

1648
01:18:12,800 --> 01:18:14,400
Speaker 3: only for yourself but for your kid too.

1649
01:18:14,600 --> 01:18:18,679
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that will compromise those those pieces for the need,

1650
01:18:18,920 --> 01:18:21,760
Speaker 1: the need that they've been starved of in whatever version

1651
01:18:21,800 --> 01:18:24,400
Speaker 1: of motherhood they're dealing with. But I also think that

1652
01:18:25,040 --> 01:18:29,559
Speaker 1: this is wildly, wildly a thing for people without children,

1653
01:18:29,720 --> 01:18:32,880
Speaker 1: because especially if you're of a certain age without children,

1654
01:18:33,200 --> 01:18:36,240
Speaker 1: like because because in this world, and it's true, like

1655
01:18:36,320 --> 01:18:38,519
Speaker 1: we do have a time limit into which we can

1656
01:18:38,600 --> 01:18:42,280
Speaker 1: pro create, and so women start making really crazy deals

1657
01:18:42,280 --> 01:18:45,840
Speaker 1: with themselves in order to either push the timeline up

1658
01:18:46,320 --> 01:18:48,360
Speaker 1: to which they we're going to have a child. And

1659
01:18:48,400 --> 01:18:50,240
Speaker 1: even for the people that are younger than that, it's

1660
01:18:50,280 --> 01:18:54,560
Speaker 1: more so about you know, these societal expectations of like, oh,

1661
01:18:54,960 --> 01:18:57,080
Speaker 1: I won't even say societal expectations because I do think

1662
01:18:57,080 --> 01:19:00,439
Speaker 1: that like we've women have shifted in this idea that

1663
01:19:00,479 --> 01:19:02,240
Speaker 1: like they need to be a wife first, like people

1664
01:19:02,240 --> 01:19:03,920
Speaker 1: are now like I want to have a business first,

1665
01:19:03,920 --> 01:19:06,639
Speaker 1: I want to have a career. But I think there's

1666
01:19:06,680 --> 01:19:10,799
Speaker 1: still a lot of pressure for women to feel worthy.

1667
01:19:11,040 --> 01:19:14,479
Speaker 1: And being a wife makes people feel worthy. It's part

1668
01:19:14,479 --> 01:19:17,240
Speaker 1: of the checklist, the career, and the wife is part

1669
01:19:17,240 --> 01:19:20,040
Speaker 1: of the checklist. And but a lot of times that

1670
01:19:20,160 --> 01:19:26,200
Speaker 1: wifey thing or that wifey title equals worthiness, like someone

1671
01:19:26,280 --> 01:19:31,800
Speaker 1: chose me equals value equals I have purpose now, you know.

1672
01:19:32,080 --> 01:19:37,120
Speaker 3: And and there's also the the this idea that women

1673
01:19:37,800 --> 01:19:41,040
Speaker 3: like their their value decreases as they get older, and

1674
01:19:41,080 --> 01:19:42,840
Speaker 3: that you know, our birth, you know, we only have

1675
01:19:42,880 --> 01:19:44,680
Speaker 3: a certain window and we can have babies, and that

1676
01:19:44,840 --> 01:19:46,559
Speaker 3: drives us too to just be like this is the

1677
01:19:46,560 --> 01:19:47,000
Speaker 3: best thing.

1678
01:19:47,200 --> 01:19:49,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, And so there's like compromises that we make for

1679
01:19:50,920 --> 01:19:54,160
Speaker 1: the for that to to find to be in partnership

1680
01:19:54,200 --> 01:19:59,920
Speaker 1: with anyone honestly. So, uh yeah, that's the recipe for

1681
01:20:00,040 --> 01:20:00,759
Speaker 1: fucking disaster.

1682
01:20:00,920 --> 01:20:03,840
Speaker 3: Here's a good mom tip. Erica taught me this, and

1683
01:20:03,880 --> 01:20:06,759
Speaker 3: I almost didn't forgive her. But next time you're scrolling

1684
01:20:06,880 --> 01:20:09,200
Speaker 3: to said dating apps, I'm not gonna say them because

1685
01:20:09,200 --> 01:20:14,080
Speaker 3: they should pay us, because this is me. I'm such

1686
01:20:14,120 --> 01:20:16,879
Speaker 3: a cancer. I'm like, I like this answer. That was funny,

1687
01:20:17,240 --> 01:20:19,639
Speaker 3: you know, and the Erica said, zoom into his face

1688
01:20:20,080 --> 01:20:22,200
Speaker 3: and then think to yourself, can I wake up to

1689
01:20:22,240 --> 01:20:25,000
Speaker 3: this face every morning? And after that I scrolled different

1690
01:20:25,000 --> 01:20:27,519
Speaker 3: for the rest of my fucking single life and I

1691
01:20:27,600 --> 01:20:30,559
Speaker 3: barely swiped yes because I'm gonna add one more layer

1692
01:20:30,600 --> 01:20:30,840
Speaker 3: to that.

1693
01:20:31,240 --> 01:20:34,200
Speaker 1: Can you picture his fuck face? And is that okay

1694
01:20:34,240 --> 01:20:39,080
Speaker 1: with you? Okay? Because listen, I have I have trauma

1695
01:20:39,120 --> 01:20:43,439
Speaker 1: over fuck faces. That's some bad fuck faces, some real

1696
01:20:43,479 --> 01:20:45,960
Speaker 1: one real and honestly, it's not just because he's cute

1697
01:20:45,960 --> 01:20:46,840
Speaker 1: doesn't mean his fuck face.

1698
01:20:46,960 --> 01:20:48,920
Speaker 3: Who is the worst fuck face you've ever had?

1699
01:20:49,560 --> 01:20:50,840
Speaker 1: I can't say this publicly.

1700
01:20:51,160 --> 01:20:51,920
Speaker 3: You don't have a name.

1701
01:20:52,400 --> 01:20:55,519
Speaker 1: It's not even a name. It's just like, okay, just no,

1702
01:20:55,640 --> 01:20:58,800
Speaker 1: it's I just know, it's just just know. It's the

1703
01:20:58,840 --> 01:21:00,960
Speaker 1: reason I became a good mom. Who specially.

1704
01:21:05,200 --> 01:21:07,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, So I do agree with going out of your

1705
01:21:07,080 --> 01:21:09,800
Speaker 3: comfort zone. You can't date the same kind of guy

1706
01:21:09,840 --> 01:21:13,680
Speaker 3: who has emotionally unavailable, but you do have to be

1707
01:21:13,720 --> 01:21:16,960
Speaker 3: realistic in you know, your genuine attraction to that person,

1708
01:21:17,560 --> 01:21:20,680
Speaker 3: like you know, sometimes breaking news guys, and.

1709
01:21:20,640 --> 01:21:23,719
Speaker 1: That doesn't mean physical too, like sometimes it's like another

1710
01:21:23,720 --> 01:21:26,400
Speaker 1: thing too. This is really random, but like for me,

1711
01:21:26,560 --> 01:21:29,639
Speaker 1: music is really important. If we can't if you don't

1712
01:21:29,680 --> 01:21:32,000
Speaker 1: listen to my type of music and we don't have

1713
01:21:32,080 --> 01:21:35,200
Speaker 1: like the same sort of like inclination to sound in

1714
01:21:35,240 --> 01:21:37,800
Speaker 1: some capacity, it's not gonna work.

1715
01:21:38,000 --> 01:21:39,320
Speaker 3: Because we do go to concert together.

1716
01:21:39,439 --> 01:21:41,240
Speaker 1: It's just it's just not gonna work. Like our sexy

1717
01:21:41,280 --> 01:21:44,320
Speaker 1: time isn't gonna be aligned, like our house vibes are

1718
01:21:44,320 --> 01:21:46,920
Speaker 1: not gonna be aligned. Like clearly our frequencies are not

1719
01:21:46,960 --> 01:21:49,519
Speaker 1: the fucking same. I should have known that. Like I've

1720
01:21:49,520 --> 01:21:53,280
Speaker 1: had boyfriends that like listen to like just like hardcore,

1721
01:21:53,360 --> 01:21:55,439
Speaker 1: like fucking Ozzy Osbourne and shit, and I'm like, oh

1722
01:21:55,479 --> 01:21:57,840
Speaker 1: my god, he's black and he likes Azzi asthma, it's cool.

1723
01:21:57,840 --> 01:21:59,920
Speaker 1: And then I'm listening to Azzi os I'm like, this is.

1724
01:21:59,840 --> 01:22:02,840
Speaker 3: Not like that happened. That happened to my friend and

1725
01:22:02,840 --> 01:22:04,920
Speaker 3: she was at all these EDM concerts and she was

1726
01:22:04,960 --> 01:22:08,400
Speaker 3: angry after she was just like I. Finally we're like,

1727
01:22:08,439 --> 01:22:10,320
Speaker 3: I know this bitch likes hip hopic, why is she

1728
01:22:10,360 --> 01:22:12,200
Speaker 3: doing this star stuff? And finally, when the relationship is over,

1729
01:22:12,320 --> 01:22:14,760
Speaker 3: she's like, if I hear one more fucking DM, I'm

1730
01:22:14,800 --> 01:22:16,960
Speaker 3: gonna die. I'm like, yeah, bitch, because that was never

1731
01:22:17,040 --> 01:22:19,280
Speaker 3: your knigg Like why do you do? Why do we

1732
01:22:19,280 --> 01:22:22,559
Speaker 3: do these things? Look, I could do EDM. It's fine,

1733
01:22:22,600 --> 01:22:25,040
Speaker 3: that's not gonna And honestly, like, is EDM gonna be

1734
01:22:25,040 --> 01:22:27,760
Speaker 3: the breaking point in your possible husband? No, if you

1735
01:22:27,800 --> 01:22:30,280
Speaker 3: know what's your husband, you'll be able to withstand.

1736
01:22:30,400 --> 01:22:33,479
Speaker 1: But you know what your things are. You know, like

1737
01:22:33,640 --> 01:22:37,760
Speaker 1: whether it's like you like fucking you like certain kind

1738
01:22:37,760 --> 01:22:39,960
Speaker 1: of movies like these are how you're going to spend

1739
01:22:39,960 --> 01:22:40,600
Speaker 1: your time, or.

1740
01:22:40,640 --> 01:22:43,960
Speaker 3: You like bougie shit if you like bougie shit and

1741
01:22:44,000 --> 01:22:46,920
Speaker 3: he brings three to five fucking outfits on a ten

1742
01:22:47,000 --> 01:22:51,760
Speaker 3: day vacation. Not the one if he suggests washing his

1743
01:22:51,840 --> 01:22:54,519
Speaker 3: clothes in the sink and staying at a hostel and

1744
01:22:54,560 --> 01:22:57,559
Speaker 3: he's over thirty years old. Not the one if you

1745
01:22:57,640 --> 01:22:59,720
Speaker 3: like boozy things. But if you like hostels, you guys

1746
01:22:59,720 --> 01:23:01,280
Speaker 3: a gonna fucking hostile your lives away.

1747
01:23:01,360 --> 01:23:03,040
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't think it also depends on where

1748
01:23:03,120 --> 01:23:05,360
Speaker 1: on the list bougie things will fall for you, because

1749
01:23:05,360 --> 01:23:07,120
Speaker 1: I think some people do like bougie things, but they

1750
01:23:07,120 --> 01:23:08,800
Speaker 1: can that's not gonna be the reason why they're going

1751
01:23:08,840 --> 01:23:09,920
Speaker 1: to pass up the love of their life.

1752
01:23:09,920 --> 01:23:12,000
Speaker 3: And and you also know if it's if you, If

1753
01:23:12,040 --> 01:23:14,559
Speaker 3: you you'll know if it's your husband and you're passing

1754
01:23:14,600 --> 01:23:16,160
Speaker 3: up to the husband of your life, if if it's

1755
01:23:16,240 --> 01:23:18,840
Speaker 3: something you literally can't get passed if you're And also

1756
01:23:18,960 --> 01:23:22,320
Speaker 3: be aware of when you nitpick things, because I when

1757
01:23:22,360 --> 01:23:25,840
Speaker 3: you're trying to repel something for whatever personal reasons, you'll

1758
01:23:25,840 --> 01:23:28,120
Speaker 3: make up things. I made up things about Orlando, and

1759
01:23:28,160 --> 01:23:30,400
Speaker 3: I believe them, and I was like, that crop top's

1760
01:23:30,439 --> 01:23:32,120
Speaker 3: not gonna work. I just like I knew he was

1761
01:23:32,160 --> 01:23:34,280
Speaker 3: a whore. That was actually true and honest, that was

1762
01:23:34,400 --> 01:23:36,960
Speaker 3: real observation. But there is things that I made up.

1763
01:23:37,080 --> 01:23:39,840
Speaker 3: I told he told he told me that he didn't

1764
01:23:39,880 --> 01:23:41,560
Speaker 3: have a jaw line. And then after he told me,

1765
01:23:41,640 --> 01:23:42,920
Speaker 3: I told I was like, I don't think it's gonna work.

1766
01:23:43,000 --> 01:23:47,080
Speaker 3: She's like, why it's like his jaw line and she

1767
01:23:47,240 --> 01:23:48,360
Speaker 3: was like, what are you talking about. I was like,

1768
01:23:48,360 --> 01:23:50,439
Speaker 3: he mentioned it and I can't see it.

1769
01:23:50,560 --> 01:23:51,200
Speaker 1: And I'm true.

1770
01:23:51,280 --> 01:23:53,400
Speaker 3: I was like making up things and I was like, yeah,

1771
01:23:53,439 --> 01:23:54,920
Speaker 3: I don't know. I told you, and then I told

1772
01:23:54,920 --> 01:23:57,240
Speaker 3: my friends I think he's gay. I made up all

1773
01:23:57,280 --> 01:24:00,200
Speaker 3: types of things not to make Orlando up until like

1774
01:24:00,560 --> 01:24:02,559
Speaker 3: deeply into it, I was like, it's just not gonna work.

1775
01:24:03,200 --> 01:24:07,799
Speaker 3: And I realized, like I was making myself fine reasons

1776
01:24:07,840 --> 01:24:10,680
Speaker 3: not to be happy. So there's a fine line, but

1777
01:24:10,720 --> 01:24:14,280
Speaker 3: the guy line, but the nerd guy. You know, you

1778
01:24:14,479 --> 01:24:17,880
Speaker 3: absolutely know that that outfit is not gonna work for

1779
01:24:17,920 --> 01:24:19,559
Speaker 3: the rest of your life. There's just certain things that

1780
01:24:19,760 --> 01:24:22,680
Speaker 3: you you're gonna start resenting this person and you're in

1781
01:24:22,680 --> 01:24:25,040
Speaker 3: your body, you know. I was literally looking at this

1782
01:24:25,080 --> 01:24:27,719
Speaker 3: thing and be like, and maybe if I changed his clothes,

1783
01:24:28,040 --> 01:24:29,760
Speaker 3: he looks good in this outfit, So maybe if I

1784
01:24:29,760 --> 01:24:33,120
Speaker 3: get more outfits like this, Like, you can't be calculating

1785
01:24:33,720 --> 01:24:35,720
Speaker 3: shit like that, you know what I mean? So I

1786
01:24:35,800 --> 01:24:41,920
Speaker 3: do keep it real. And also, breaking news, just because

1787
01:24:41,960 --> 01:24:45,120
Speaker 3: he's a good guy does not mean he's your guy.

1788
01:24:46,000 --> 01:24:49,360
Speaker 3: A good nice guy doesn't That's not all you need.

1789
01:24:49,840 --> 01:24:50,439
Speaker 1: Breaking news.

1790
01:24:50,560 --> 01:24:52,720
Speaker 3: Not just because he doesn't beat you and he has

1791
01:24:52,760 --> 01:24:55,439
Speaker 3: a job and he's a good guy. That does not

1792
01:24:55,600 --> 01:24:59,799
Speaker 3: make him your husband. Does he make your pussy tingle,

1793
01:25:05,880 --> 01:25:08,760
Speaker 3: your body telling tancha, your body telling what it is?

1794
01:25:08,840 --> 01:25:10,800
Speaker 1: Yes, all those things and does he hit all the

1795
01:25:10,840 --> 01:25:13,400
Speaker 1: other things on the list, like is he those things

1796
01:25:13,439 --> 01:25:15,519
Speaker 1: on the list that are important to you? Is he

1797
01:25:15,760 --> 01:25:19,400
Speaker 1: is he? Can he provide safety or whatever?

1798
01:25:19,479 --> 01:25:21,480
Speaker 3: Safety and always and friendship?

1799
01:25:21,560 --> 01:25:24,840
Speaker 1: Friendship like do you guys do your family's mesh like

1800
01:25:24,880 --> 01:25:26,800
Speaker 1: if that's on the list for you? Where families are

1801
01:25:26,800 --> 01:25:30,439
Speaker 1: super important, like the actual a meshing of families. And

1802
01:25:30,920 --> 01:25:33,439
Speaker 1: he doesn't prioritize family, And that's something I realize for me,

1803
01:25:33,560 --> 01:25:36,200
Speaker 1: like is super important. I'm not interested in dating people

1804
01:25:36,240 --> 01:25:39,360
Speaker 1: that don't understand and prioritize their family because I do.

1805
01:25:39,560 --> 01:25:42,360
Speaker 1: And it's going to be annoying to me when your

1806
01:25:42,400 --> 01:25:44,920
Speaker 1: mom lives five miles away and you see her two

1807
01:25:44,960 --> 01:25:48,599
Speaker 1: times a year or like every other month when she's

1808
01:25:48,600 --> 01:25:51,320
Speaker 1: there and she's old, like that bothers me. So it's

1809
01:25:51,400 --> 01:25:54,280
Speaker 1: just and I feel like I know inevitably those things

1810
01:25:54,360 --> 01:25:56,559
Speaker 1: end up impacting how you are able to show up

1811
01:25:56,600 --> 01:25:59,760
Speaker 1: for me, And because that's important to me, maybe that

1812
01:25:59,760 --> 01:26:01,960
Speaker 1: could be great for somebody else. So I think it's

1813
01:26:02,000 --> 01:26:08,439
Speaker 1: about honoring like truly, truly your X and your hell

1814
01:26:08,520 --> 01:26:10,320
Speaker 1: yes is yes yes.

1815
01:26:10,400 --> 01:26:14,640
Speaker 3: If it's not a hell yeah, it's probably a nobly

1816
01:26:16,880 --> 01:26:21,439
Speaker 3: number five. This is very important. Some may disagree, but

1817
01:26:21,520 --> 01:26:26,599
Speaker 3: this is why you have to trust your trustworthy tribe.

1818
01:26:28,040 --> 01:26:33,000
Speaker 3: Trust your trustworthy tribe. Sometimes your friends, you know, your

1819
01:26:33,000 --> 01:26:34,479
Speaker 3: friends are going to tell you the truth because they

1820
01:26:34,520 --> 01:26:36,080
Speaker 3: know you and they love you, and they're not going

1821
01:26:36,160 --> 01:26:38,320
Speaker 3: to try and hurt you. And sometimes you gotta trust that.

1822
01:26:39,200 --> 01:26:43,400
Speaker 1: No, it's true. I think your friends are going to

1823
01:26:43,439 --> 01:26:46,679
Speaker 1: see things that you ki'd just can't see. Once you've

1824
01:26:46,680 --> 01:26:47,480
Speaker 1: been penetrated.

1825
01:26:49,080 --> 01:26:49,760
Speaker 3: Everybody knows.

1826
01:26:50,120 --> 01:26:54,599
Speaker 1: Everybody knows penetrated, you're fucked literally and figuratively, and your

1827
01:26:54,600 --> 01:26:56,840
Speaker 1: friends are unfucked, and so they will tell you the

1828
01:26:56,840 --> 01:26:57,439
Speaker 1: fucking truth.

1829
01:26:57,560 --> 01:26:59,080
Speaker 3: Penetration will make you blind, you know.

1830
01:26:59,720 --> 01:27:03,320
Speaker 1: And friends, if you're listening, tell them stop, like, don't

1831
01:27:03,680 --> 01:27:06,920
Speaker 1: don't wait too long, let her, you know, do her thing.

1832
01:27:07,400 --> 01:27:10,280
Speaker 1: But then inevitably you have to tell your friend the

1833
01:27:10,360 --> 01:27:14,160
Speaker 1: truth because like she won't know, she really won't see,

1834
01:27:14,160 --> 01:27:16,360
Speaker 1: and she may not even listen. And that's fine, but

1835
01:27:16,400 --> 01:27:22,080
Speaker 1: at least you tried. So trust your trusted tribe, and

1836
01:27:22,840 --> 01:27:25,440
Speaker 1: trust yourself and trust yourself most importantly.

1837
01:27:25,640 --> 01:27:30,599
Speaker 3: Yeah, So good luck with love, Good luck with love

1838
01:27:31,040 --> 01:27:31,919
Speaker 3: sign a fiance.

1839
01:27:36,320 --> 01:27:37,519
Speaker 1: Oh is it terrot time?

1840
01:27:37,560 --> 01:27:37,880
Speaker 6: My dear?

1841
01:27:38,200 --> 01:27:58,400
Speaker 3: I believe it is terot time. You guys, have you

1842
01:27:58,439 --> 01:28:04,200
Speaker 3: been enjoying our beautifully cinematic segways to each of our segments?

1843
01:28:04,640 --> 01:28:06,519
Speaker 3: If you haven't turned in to YouTube, if you haven't

1844
01:28:06,520 --> 01:28:10,479
Speaker 3: subscribed to YouTube, you're missing out because we have beautiful production.

1845
01:28:10,640 --> 01:28:13,240
Speaker 3: We have a beautiful set, We are beautiful, and we

1846
01:28:13,479 --> 01:28:18,439
Speaker 3: dress nice, and so we've produced highly beautiful.

1847
01:28:19,160 --> 01:28:21,559
Speaker 1: Content for you to watch and enjoy. It's really a

1848
01:28:21,560 --> 01:28:24,000
Speaker 1: TV show you're gonna watch. Over there, you'll also see

1849
01:28:24,040 --> 01:28:27,000
Speaker 1: our beautiful outfits. Right now, I'm actually wearing something from

1850
01:28:27,200 --> 01:28:30,040
Speaker 1: our online store. It's for the Good Moms, the Good

1851
01:28:30,080 --> 01:28:33,800
Speaker 1: Mom Crew neck. I don't like to call it merch.

1852
01:28:33,920 --> 01:28:36,519
Speaker 1: It's our fashion line that we design and it's very

1853
01:28:36,560 --> 01:28:39,559
Speaker 1: high quality. And if you want our website, you get

1854
01:28:39,560 --> 01:28:41,880
Speaker 1: a discount. We sign up for a newsletter. So make

1855
01:28:41,880 --> 01:28:45,040
Speaker 1: sure you check out goodmomspad Choices dot com. Go check

1856
01:28:45,080 --> 01:28:50,040
Speaker 1: out our online store and all our offerings on our website.

1857
01:28:50,760 --> 01:28:51,720
Speaker 3: Tack your heart, my love.

1858
01:28:52,520 --> 01:29:05,400
Speaker 2: See ooh, this is interesting.

1859
01:29:05,640 --> 01:29:09,839
Speaker 1: The Five of Pentacles looks like they're having a hard time.

1860
01:29:13,080 --> 01:29:14,160
Speaker 2: To check out this card.

1861
01:29:14,439 --> 01:29:15,360
Speaker 3: See what it looks like.

1862
01:29:17,080 --> 01:29:19,120
Speaker 2: It's a little destitute.

1863
01:29:19,560 --> 01:29:24,040
Speaker 3: It's very destitute. One of them has a broken foot.

1864
01:29:24,160 --> 01:29:25,320
Speaker 1: I know he's injured.

1865
01:29:25,560 --> 01:29:33,560
Speaker 3: Financial loss, poverty, lack mindset, isolation, worry. The five of

1866
01:29:33,640 --> 01:29:36,519
Speaker 3: Pentacles is a card of financial loss and poverty. Hit.

1867
01:29:36,640 --> 01:29:38,800
Speaker 3: You have hit hard times, especially when it comes to

1868
01:29:38,840 --> 01:29:41,600
Speaker 3: your work, career, finances, and material possessions. You may have

1869
01:29:41,680 --> 01:29:44,519
Speaker 3: recently lost your job, your home, or financial security. You

1870
01:29:44,640 --> 01:29:46,799
Speaker 3: no longer feel safe because it has been all stripped

1871
01:29:46,800 --> 01:29:49,360
Speaker 3: away from you. In one below. Your ego may also

1872
01:29:49,400 --> 01:29:53,080
Speaker 3: be bruised, especially since success often correlates to financial wealth.

1873
01:29:53,360 --> 01:29:55,719
Speaker 3: Losing either can be humbling blow to your self esteem

1874
01:29:55,760 --> 01:29:57,960
Speaker 3: and sense of self forth. The upside is that this

1875
01:29:58,040 --> 01:30:02,160
Speaker 3: is a minor arcana card and with temporary effects rather

1876
01:30:02,200 --> 01:30:05,840
Speaker 3: than a major ocana which have longer term impact. This too,

1877
01:30:05,880 --> 01:30:08,599
Speaker 3: shall pass. In this time of need, The fiber Pentacles

1878
01:30:08,640 --> 01:30:11,519
Speaker 3: indicates that you feel isolated and alone, just like the

1879
01:30:11,560 --> 01:30:13,080
Speaker 3: two people in the car. Do you feel as if

1880
01:30:13,120 --> 01:30:15,360
Speaker 3: you have been left in the cold. You may wonder

1881
01:30:15,400 --> 01:30:18,040
Speaker 3: why is no one coming to help me? It appears

1882
01:30:18,040 --> 01:30:20,799
Speaker 3: as if no one cares anymore. However, since the windows

1883
01:30:20,920 --> 01:30:23,280
Speaker 3: in the church are lit up, help us nearby? But

1884
01:30:23,360 --> 01:30:26,200
Speaker 3: you are too focused on your problems to notice. You

1885
01:30:26,240 --> 01:30:28,080
Speaker 3: may be waiting for someone to come and help you

1886
01:30:28,120 --> 01:30:30,479
Speaker 3: when you really need When you really you need to

1887
01:30:30,520 --> 01:30:33,519
Speaker 3: be proactive and ask for help. You need to swallow

1888
01:30:33,560 --> 01:30:35,599
Speaker 3: your pride or let go of your fear of rejection

1889
01:30:35,800 --> 01:30:38,439
Speaker 3: and reach out. People are here to support you, find

1890
01:30:38,479 --> 01:30:42,240
Speaker 3: them and let them know you need them. It can

1891
01:30:42,360 --> 01:30:45,760
Speaker 3: highlight a lack mindset. You are sabotaging your ability to

1892
01:30:45,800 --> 01:30:48,519
Speaker 3: create abundance because you only focus on lack.

1893
01:30:50,120 --> 01:30:55,919
Speaker 1: Okay, this card is for me because I've been battling

1894
01:30:55,960 --> 01:31:02,040
Speaker 1: this mindset for the last few weeks around financial stability

1895
01:31:02,040 --> 01:31:04,960
Speaker 1: for the rest of my life, and like I was

1896
01:31:05,000 --> 01:31:06,640
Speaker 1: talking to my mom about this yesterday, I was like,

1897
01:31:06,680 --> 01:31:09,240
Speaker 1: how the fuck do people take care of themselves forever

1898
01:31:09,400 --> 01:31:12,040
Speaker 1: in this world? Forever when you get old and you

1899
01:31:12,080 --> 01:31:14,759
Speaker 1: can't work anymore, Like are you do you just accept

1900
01:31:14,760 --> 01:31:17,559
Speaker 1: that you have your life and like you have your

1901
01:31:17,640 --> 01:31:20,880
Speaker 1: life downgrades in some capacity or is it not a downgrade,

1902
01:31:20,920 --> 01:31:23,160
Speaker 1: It's just an acceptance that none of this shit actually

1903
01:31:23,160 --> 01:31:25,559
Speaker 1: matters and it takes us that long to fucking realize

1904
01:31:25,560 --> 01:31:27,960
Speaker 1: it that, like I don't need all these fucking things,

1905
01:31:28,439 --> 01:31:31,720
Speaker 1: Or is it that I've just prepared really well, and yes,

1906
01:31:31,840 --> 01:31:35,439
Speaker 1: things will change slowly in adjustment to how much I

1907
01:31:35,479 --> 01:31:38,880
Speaker 1: acquire or do, but that's also because I'm aging and

1908
01:31:38,960 --> 01:31:42,160
Speaker 1: I don't require that much anymore. So I was thinking,

1909
01:31:42,360 --> 01:31:45,440
Speaker 1: just like I've been stressing about that, like that concept

1910
01:31:45,520 --> 01:31:52,160
Speaker 1: of like generational wealth saving money, just like knowing that

1911
01:31:52,240 --> 01:31:56,160
Speaker 1: everything shifts and changes and I have control, but I

1912
01:31:56,200 --> 01:31:58,280
Speaker 1: also don't have control in certain ways right now in

1913
01:31:58,320 --> 01:32:00,960
Speaker 1: my life. And what am I going to do about it?

1914
01:32:01,160 --> 01:32:03,200
Speaker 1: And like am I gonna rise to the occasion? I'm

1915
01:32:03,200 --> 01:32:08,160
Speaker 1: gonna fucking crumble? And just like how how you do it? All?

1916
01:32:08,240 --> 01:32:11,479
Speaker 1: So I know that those thoughts too, even when I'm

1917
01:32:11,520 --> 01:32:16,920
Speaker 1: having them, I know that they're they're not true, and

1918
01:32:16,960 --> 01:32:18,400
Speaker 1: I have to keep but I have to keep. I've

1919
01:32:18,400 --> 01:32:21,320
Speaker 1: been having to keep having that conversation with myself and

1920
01:32:21,360 --> 01:32:25,320
Speaker 1: pulling myself out of financial scarcity and realizing like and

1921
01:32:25,360 --> 01:32:27,920
Speaker 1: then and then I continue to get blessings that are

1922
01:32:27,960 --> 01:32:31,200
Speaker 1: reminding me that no, no, and I've gotten them actually

1923
01:32:31,240 --> 01:32:33,559
Speaker 1: throughout the last two weeks. While I've been having these

1924
01:32:34,240 --> 01:32:37,120
Speaker 1: really weird thoughts, God has also been blessing me and

1925
01:32:37,200 --> 01:32:40,639
Speaker 1: showing me that it's not true. So trying to hold

1926
01:32:40,640 --> 01:32:43,439
Speaker 1: on to those moments and really believing them to be

1927
01:32:43,479 --> 01:32:45,639
Speaker 1: true and knowing that it's not just a moment, because

1928
01:32:45,680 --> 01:32:48,439
Speaker 1: I think there's that too. It's like feeling like we

1929
01:32:48,600 --> 01:32:52,040
Speaker 1: all have our moment, especially in like this industry that

1930
01:32:52,040 --> 01:32:55,720
Speaker 1: we're in, like entertainment and podcasting, and but I know

1931
01:32:55,760 --> 01:32:57,880
Speaker 1: that what we do is even more so, is more

1932
01:32:58,000 --> 01:33:03,879
Speaker 1: than just that, and that it just keeps expanding. And yeah,

1933
01:33:03,920 --> 01:33:07,680
Speaker 1: so back hard is it's for me and I receive it.

1934
01:33:07,680 --> 01:33:08,200
Speaker 1: It's okay.

1935
01:33:08,320 --> 01:33:10,719
Speaker 3: It's scary. I mean it's scary to have the thought

1936
01:33:10,800 --> 01:33:13,960
Speaker 3: like I have to provide and care for myself from

1937
01:33:14,000 --> 01:33:17,960
Speaker 3: now until forever, and if you know, one thing goes wrong,

1938
01:33:18,200 --> 01:33:19,160
Speaker 3: what does that look like?

1939
01:33:19,320 --> 01:33:19,519
Speaker 1: You know?

1940
01:33:20,080 --> 01:33:24,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, safety is big, and like constantly think and thinking

1941
01:33:24,040 --> 01:33:25,800
Speaker 3: about it when you think about over your lifetime and

1942
01:33:25,800 --> 01:33:27,680
Speaker 3: then you think about having a child, and it's just

1943
01:33:27,720 --> 01:33:31,639
Speaker 3: like it's such a grand uh, it's such a grand

1944
01:33:31,920 --> 01:33:35,479
Speaker 3: like not burden, but responsibility to just think of and

1945
01:33:35,520 --> 01:33:36,960
Speaker 3: that and I do it all the time, and I

1946
01:33:36,960 --> 01:33:39,040
Speaker 3: get fucking anxiety and then I want to just lay down.

1947
01:33:39,439 --> 01:33:42,479
Speaker 3: But it's just like having the knowing that you're always

1948
01:33:42,520 --> 01:33:45,000
Speaker 3: provided for and taking care of and that, you know. Yeah,

1949
01:33:45,040 --> 01:33:47,160
Speaker 3: like following the path is always going to bring you

1950
01:33:47,400 --> 01:33:50,559
Speaker 3: to where you need to be, and distrusting that, especially

1951
01:33:50,560 --> 01:33:52,880
Speaker 3: when our journey has already shown us that so much,

1952
01:33:52,960 --> 01:33:57,200
Speaker 3: you know, And yeah, like that's every there's going to

1953
01:33:57,240 --> 01:33:59,840
Speaker 3: be something presented every day that's scary and big. And

1954
01:34:00,520 --> 01:34:03,000
Speaker 3: this is the lifetime we've been granted and it is

1955
01:34:03,040 --> 01:34:05,640
Speaker 3: actually a very short time, and so why not like

1956
01:34:05,720 --> 01:34:09,799
Speaker 3: find joy in figuring out and just know that everything's

1957
01:34:09,840 --> 01:34:12,479
Speaker 3: going to be okay even if it looks different. And

1958
01:34:12,479 --> 01:34:14,680
Speaker 3: you know, we've been through hard things and you can

1959
01:34:14,720 --> 01:34:16,840
Speaker 3: get through hard things, and so ultimately there's no big

1960
01:34:16,840 --> 01:34:19,960
Speaker 3: anxiety to have to fear, to be scared of, but

1961
01:34:20,840 --> 01:34:22,479
Speaker 3: that everything is going as it should be.

1962
01:34:24,080 --> 01:34:30,559
Speaker 1: A well, y'all, this was fun. I love you. Thank

1963
01:34:30,560 --> 01:34:32,599
Speaker 1: you for joining us for another episode of Good Mom's

1964
01:34:32,600 --> 01:34:34,599
Speaker 1: Bad Choices. If you haven't had a chance, make sure

1965
01:34:34,600 --> 01:34:37,360
Speaker 1: you go rate and review this episode. Like Mila said,

1966
01:34:37,439 --> 01:34:44,240
Speaker 1: subscribe on YouTube, subscribe on all podcast platforms. Oh guess what,

1967
01:34:44,479 --> 01:34:48,599
Speaker 1: we just release dates for our next Costa Rica retreat

1968
01:34:48,760 --> 01:34:53,479
Speaker 1: and in the summertime, and you have time, bitches. So

1969
01:34:54,200 --> 01:34:58,719
Speaker 1: we're taking our Good Vibe Retreat to our annual location

1970
01:34:58,800 --> 01:35:02,800
Speaker 1: which we love so much on both the Yaho in July,

1971
01:35:03,120 --> 01:35:06,000
Speaker 1: end of July, July thirty first, Yeah, July thirty first

1972
01:35:06,000 --> 01:35:09,960
Speaker 1: through the fifth, and then August eighth, eighth through the eleven.

1973
01:35:11,479 --> 01:35:14,400
Speaker 1: No something, just look at the dates. It's an it's

1974
01:35:14,400 --> 01:35:20,519
Speaker 1: basically in August and yeah, if you're watching, if you're

1975
01:35:20,520 --> 01:35:22,800
Speaker 1: listening to this in February first, we're in Costa Rica.

1976
01:35:22,880 --> 01:35:24,759
Speaker 1: To go check out our stories like good Mom's Underscore

1977
01:35:24,760 --> 01:35:27,600
Speaker 1: Bad Choices and watch us living our best life and bikinis,

1978
01:35:27,640 --> 01:35:30,120
Speaker 1: and then you'll want to come in the summertime.

1979
01:35:29,920 --> 01:35:31,559
Speaker 3: You definitely, well, we'll be thriving.

1980
01:35:32,000 --> 01:35:32,080
Speaker 4: Go.

1981
01:35:32,200 --> 01:35:33,920
Speaker 3: Look, I can't wait to see my future self.

1982
01:35:35,640 --> 01:35:38,560
Speaker 1: Love you guys, Bye bye.

1983
01:35:38,680 --> 01:35:41,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm living so good, can't you sell? I went

1984
01:35:41,880 --> 01:35:44,080
Speaker 4: through a drought, that's until I find a well made

1985
01:35:44,120 --> 01:35:46,439
Speaker 4: my have been known earth. I used to be broken tail,

1986
01:35:46,560 --> 01:35:49,040
Speaker 4: now got the blues dance and might beyon Say Jasell

1987
01:35:49,360 --> 01:35:51,839
Speaker 4: throat shot or pop in this power in our voices

1988
01:35:52,000 --> 01:35:53,639
Speaker 4: patriarch and kept it in the box.

1989
01:35:53,680 --> 01:35:56,240
Speaker 3: So it's floid. Women put the pi and powers.

1990
01:35:56,280 --> 01:35:58,160
Speaker 5: So what's the point do they want me to be good?

1991
01:35:58,240 --> 01:36:01,559
Speaker 4: So I made bad choices, not a bad mom but

1992
01:36:01,640 --> 01:36:05,000
Speaker 4: a Bad Mom bitters in put Cannabis Iner, bath Bomb,

1993
01:36:05,120 --> 01:36:07,559
Speaker 4: walk in Boss's cap and num b Lewis cat ball

1994
01:36:07,680 --> 01:36:10,160
Speaker 4: tip dog. Now I'm a mule to the cat call

1995
01:36:10,280 --> 01:36:12,200
Speaker 4: Herbie and no waste the straight to it like a

1996
01:36:12,280 --> 01:36:14,680
Speaker 4: dollar sign. Mother ren the number when So it's like

1997
01:36:14,720 --> 01:36:17,280
Speaker 4: a water summer where you're Rena wins recentual will win

1998
01:36:17,320 --> 01:36:19,559
Speaker 4: the summer time I do what all they know when

1999
01:36:19,560 --> 01:36:19,960
Speaker 4: I need.

2000
01:36:19,920 --> 01:36:20,559
Speaker 5: Some run by.

2001
01:36:21,160 --> 01:36:23,479
Speaker 1: Good Mom's Bad Choices is a production of the Black

2002
01:36:23,479 --> 01:36:27,200
Speaker 1: Effect podcast Network. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the

2003
01:36:27,240 --> 01:36:30,479
Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your

2004
01:36:30,520 --> 01:36:33,920
Speaker 1: favorite shows. Don't forget to subscribe to and rate our show,

2005
01:36:34,520 --> 01:36:36,960
Speaker 1: and you can connect with us on social media at

2006
01:36:37,000 --> 01:36:40,680
Speaker 1: good Mom's Underscore Bad Choices. Make sure to subscribe to

2007
01:36:40,720 --> 01:36:43,320
Speaker 1: our YouTube channel at good Mom's Bad Choices to watch

2008
01:36:43,320 --> 01:36:47,040
Speaker 1: our episodes, and join our private community on Patreon to

2009
01:36:47,080 --> 01:36:51,800
Speaker 1: see extended episodes, uncensored content, and more at patreon dot

2010
01:36:51,840 --> 01:36:53,919
Speaker 1: com slash Good Mom's Bad Choices