WEBVTT - Matt Walsh 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:04.000 The Craig Ferguson Fancy Rascal Stand Up Tour continues throughout 0:00:04.040 --> 0:00:07.280 twenty twenty four. For a full list of dates and tickets, 0:00:07.320 --> 0:00:10.240 go to the Craig Ferguson Show dot com slash tour. 0:00:10.960 --> 0:00:13.640 See you out there, the Greig Ferguson show dot com 0:00:13.640 --> 0:00:18.720 slash Tour. My name is Craig Ferguson. The name of 0:00:18.760 --> 0:00:23.520 this podcast is Joy. I talk to interest in people 0:00:23.960 --> 0:00:29.640 about what brings them happiness. My guest on the podcast 0:00:29.680 --> 0:00:32.200 today is one of the founder members of the Upright 0:00:32.320 --> 0:00:37.040 Citizens Brigade, which is a very important force in American 0:00:37.159 --> 0:00:42.000 comedy and theater. He's a very funny guy. You probably know. 0:00:42.920 --> 0:00:44.840 I don't know if you know how deep a thinker 0:00:44.880 --> 0:00:47.440 he is, but you're about to find out here he comes. 0:00:53.000 --> 0:00:56.080 You live in la at full time? Yeah? Yeah, I 0:00:56.760 --> 0:00:57.440 don't anymore? 0:00:57.440 --> 0:00:59.080 You know, I didn't. Where did you go? 0:00:59.240 --> 0:01:04.600 How about a magical fairyland called Scotland? Oh? And I 0:01:05.200 --> 0:01:07.080 live there a lot and I'm in New York. 0:01:07.760 --> 0:01:08.399 Oh really? 0:01:08.560 --> 0:01:09.319 Yeah? Yeah? 0:01:09.680 --> 0:01:11.760 Do you have family? I don't know your life kids? 0:01:11.840 --> 0:01:14.319 Yeah? Yeah, I have two kids. Your family, I do 0:01:14.440 --> 0:01:15.680 have three, three kids? 0:01:15.760 --> 0:01:15.920 Yeah. 0:01:15.959 --> 0:01:17.720 Yeah, you're even poorer than me. 0:01:17.920 --> 0:01:21.160 I'm thirty three percent more prolific at having sex. 0:01:21.319 --> 0:01:23.240 I think is what that? Well, I don't know. Have 0:01:23.400 --> 0:01:27.720 far a part of your kids team fourteen and twelve, 0:01:27.760 --> 0:01:29.800 so every two years we had sex. Oh my god, 0:01:29.840 --> 0:01:33.240 that's amazing. My boys are ten years apart. And I 0:01:33.280 --> 0:01:36.440 tell people Scottish people are like those big orchids in 0:01:36.480 --> 0:01:40.160 the jungle that once every ten years ago and everything 0:01:40.240 --> 0:01:43.399 within a two Biradius gets pregnant. Like even if you're 0:01:43.440 --> 0:01:46.440 it doesn't matter if your barren to get within a 0:01:46.480 --> 0:01:52.200 Scotsman in his ten year cycle and he'll go offemen. 0:01:52.360 --> 0:01:58.480 Oh my god, I didn't have it, polland polland I'm sorry. 0:01:58.920 --> 0:02:03.320 You're you're an improvvisational man. You know you're your word picture. 0:02:03.240 --> 0:02:06.040 You said a Scottish man. So I just yea linked 0:02:06.080 --> 0:02:06.360 the two. 0:02:06.360 --> 0:02:09.680 We don't make Poland, well that's what we do in Scotland, okay, 0:02:09.760 --> 0:02:14.720 because it contains less sin. Semen has sin, whereas Poland 0:02:14.760 --> 0:02:15.840 is with my sin. 0:02:16.360 --> 0:02:19.480 Can I ask you questions about Scottish people. Yeah, so 0:02:19.520 --> 0:02:21.600 here's a stereotype. My stereotype. 0:02:21.639 --> 0:02:22.040 Okay. 0:02:22.240 --> 0:02:24.720 I find that my time in I spent like a 0:02:24.800 --> 0:02:26.720 year in Europe going to school and traveling, and then 0:02:26.760 --> 0:02:29.280 I went backpacking for another year. Right, I'll ask you 0:02:29.280 --> 0:02:30.880 a bit this later on. You need to know I 0:02:31.000 --> 0:02:33.440 found that and this is a stereotype. And I do 0:02:33.520 --> 0:02:37.120 not judge people by stereotypes. But the Scottish people I 0:02:37.240 --> 0:02:39.960 was around when they drank, they got really mean. Yeah, 0:02:40.280 --> 0:02:44.239 they're angry and there's an angry undercurrent. And is that 0:02:44.360 --> 0:02:47.239 a Truish stereotype or what would you what would explain? 0:02:47.400 --> 0:02:49.519 This is an experience from like, last time was there 0:02:49.840 --> 0:02:53.480 for any serious amount of time was ninety nineteen ninety. 0:02:53.040 --> 0:02:55.560 So I think that's fair. I think that's a fair 0:02:55.760 --> 0:02:58.960 kind of thing, because what happens is, I mean to 0:02:59.080 --> 0:03:01.399 be fair at Schoolish people. I have noticed that quite 0:03:01.440 --> 0:03:04.680 a lot of people get mean. That's true too, you 0:03:04.720 --> 0:03:08.000 know that is true too, except like the Irish get 0:03:08.080 --> 0:03:11.640 kind of mean when they're drinking, fighting fighting, Yeah, the 0:03:11.639 --> 0:03:16.560 Scottish get surly, surly, surly and unpleasant and kind of bitchy. 0:03:16.919 --> 0:03:17.280 Yeah. 0:03:17.320 --> 0:03:21.840 The Welsh, though, the Welsh just go crazy. They just 0:03:20.919 --> 0:03:24.360 just go crazy, like I'm going to jump off this, 0:03:24.960 --> 0:03:29.280 They jump off insane, They're crazy. And the Angli shirt 0:03:29.320 --> 0:03:31.080 case kind of half in the bag all the time, 0:03:31.160 --> 0:03:32.839 really there's absolutely. 0:03:33.040 --> 0:03:36.640 Yeah, and like the like a Russian stereotype of a drunk, 0:03:36.720 --> 0:03:41.280 like a vodka soaked Russian guy would just be like noncommunicative, 0:03:42.160 --> 0:03:42.880 mean faced. 0:03:43.240 --> 0:03:45.400 I feel like I've I've been around a bit of 0:03:45.440 --> 0:03:45.880 that too. 0:03:46.480 --> 0:03:46.640 Yeah. 0:03:46.680 --> 0:03:49.240 I've done a lot of drinking in various places, and 0:03:49.280 --> 0:03:52.440 I'd say the best drinking for me? Where is the 0:03:52.480 --> 0:03:57.880 best drinking? Maybe maybe Australia. 0:03:57.760 --> 0:03:59.440 Most celebratory or the least. 0:04:00.520 --> 0:04:02.640 Yeah, they were just like, let's get drunk, all right, 0:04:02.760 --> 0:04:05.240 now we're drunk, let's go over here. 0:04:05.480 --> 0:04:07.200 And these are stereotypes, but I love it because in 0:04:07.320 --> 0:04:09.800 Scandinavia they have their own kind of alcoholism too. 0:04:09.920 --> 0:04:12.680 Yeah. But it's dark, dark, Yeah, it's dark and sad. 0:04:12.680 --> 0:04:15.320 We are very sad. Yeah, very said. 0:04:15.360 --> 0:04:18.240 This alcohol is really expensive over there, is it? Because 0:04:18.240 --> 0:04:19.600 it's taxed so highly? 0:04:19.760 --> 0:04:20.880 Oh that's why they're so sad. 0:04:20.960 --> 0:04:22.920 I remember being over there and somebody had a bottle 0:04:22.960 --> 0:04:25.279 of vuka and I'm like, hey, the beers for you? 0:04:25.400 --> 0:04:28.440 The buck is like really yeah, because it was they 0:04:28.520 --> 0:04:30.240 spent They spent a lot of money on it because 0:04:30.240 --> 0:04:32.080 the taxes are like one hundred percent or whatever. 0:04:32.120 --> 0:04:35.400 Oh my god, this is again eighty nine so like, 0:04:35.440 --> 0:04:38.040 I stopped drinking in ninety two, so all my drinking 0:04:38.080 --> 0:04:40.880 stories are based pre nineteen ninety two as well. Yeah, 0:04:41.200 --> 0:04:43.600 do you still drink? I drink a little bit, right, 0:04:43.640 --> 0:04:45.600 Not really, you don't. You don't look like someone who 0:04:45.640 --> 0:04:47.880 drinks a lot. My drinking days are well behind. Yeah, 0:04:47.920 --> 0:04:50.960 well you got three kids, and you know, although I 0:04:51.000 --> 0:04:57.200 have to say, doesn't stop everybody having kids. And so wait, 0:04:57.400 --> 0:05:01.159 your kids are what did you say? Sixteen sixteen, fourteen twelve? Wow? 0:05:01.480 --> 0:05:03.760 And also my wife doesn't drink at all. She quit 0:05:03.880 --> 0:05:07.280 drinking like before we met. She's good for her sober. 0:05:07.360 --> 0:05:09.880 Yeah yeah, sober too, Yeah yeah, I mean it just 0:05:10.160 --> 0:05:12.479 had to be. So if your partner isn't drinking, there's 0:05:12.520 --> 0:05:13.520 no real reason. 0:05:13.279 --> 0:05:15.719 To like, well, it's funny, I'm too crazy. You get 0:05:15.760 --> 0:05:18.800 this this in your relationship with your wife. But I 0:05:18.880 --> 0:05:21.479 get it with my wife because she drinks and I don't. 0:05:22.080 --> 0:05:24.599 But she'll drink and she'll go so like, she'll have 0:05:24.600 --> 0:05:26.159 a glass of wine and I'll watch her drinking it. 0:05:26.160 --> 0:05:28.239 Even though I've been sober thirty two years. She's drinking 0:05:28.240 --> 0:05:29.640 a glass of wine and I'll watch it, and then 0:05:29.920 --> 0:05:32.479 she say I and then she won't finish it, and 0:05:32.480 --> 0:05:35.360 I'll say, well, it's still finished, and she'll say, well 0:05:35.480 --> 0:05:38.560 I had enough. I mean you had enough. You're not 0:05:38.600 --> 0:05:42.000 in hospital or jail. Have you had enough? And then 0:05:42.000 --> 0:05:44.360 she's like I was beginning to feel it, and I'm like, yeah, 0:05:44.440 --> 0:05:47.080 beginning to feel it is the start of fucking drinking. 0:05:47.160 --> 0:05:49.200 It's not the end of drinking. It's the start at 0:05:49.240 --> 0:05:52.240 the beginning. But it's she's got a whole different approach 0:05:52.400 --> 0:05:53.400 you a little more like that. 0:05:53.480 --> 0:05:55.800 Like no, I had my no No, I had my 0:05:55.920 --> 0:05:59.479 days where like I needed to pull the plane up 0:05:59.480 --> 0:06:01.520 a little bit, like when I was a younger man, 0:06:01.560 --> 0:06:04.400 and I've had like times where I'm like I didn't 0:06:04.400 --> 0:06:06.240 eat and then I just spun out and you know, 0:06:06.360 --> 0:06:09.800 passed out. Let's say, but I have never had like 0:06:10.720 --> 0:06:15.240 the gene, let's say, or like the the hit of 0:06:15.400 --> 0:06:18.000 crack that just I couldn't turn it off. I never 0:06:18.040 --> 0:06:21.160 had that, right, But it's ancial hazard in comedy. 0:06:21.200 --> 0:06:23.240 Not yet, you haven't had it yet. Yeah, I've seen 0:06:23.320 --> 0:06:26.640 guys who think they skated and then later on in life. 0:06:26.760 --> 0:06:28.000 Oh yeah, so. 0:06:27.920 --> 0:06:30.119 It's like a dark turn. If it all came down 0:06:30.360 --> 0:06:30.640 or a. 0:06:30.600 --> 0:06:32.960 Really good thing happened. This is what I've noticed it 0:06:33.040 --> 0:06:37.800 something really amazing was like, you you make an unbelievable 0:06:37.839 --> 0:06:41.000 movie that's a vanity project and something you really care about, 0:06:41.000 --> 0:06:44.360 and it goes ballistic, and yeah, that's when i'd look 0:06:44.360 --> 0:06:47.080 out for it. That's when people go crazy. 0:06:47.200 --> 0:06:49.799 Could you start coasting? Or if I won the lottery, 0:06:49.839 --> 0:06:50.480 that's probably when. 0:06:50.600 --> 0:06:53.000 Well you look at stories of people who win the 0:06:53.000 --> 0:06:56.440 Lowry it ruined there, like he's crazy. Yeah, it does. 0:06:56.480 --> 0:06:57.960 You're right, So you're right. 0:06:58.560 --> 0:07:01.159 More likely that you're right. That's the situation where I 0:07:01.160 --> 0:07:01.919 would probably. 0:07:01.960 --> 0:07:07.640 So that's what I'm warning you against unreasonably large successes 0:07:07.880 --> 0:07:10.800 in the fure. That's why I've kept my career about 0:07:10.840 --> 0:07:14.720 the middling, middling, sort of middle of the road. Oh 0:07:14.520 --> 0:07:16.840 that was pretty good, And then that said, no more 0:07:16.880 --> 0:07:19.000 than that, no more than that, for safety. 0:07:19.160 --> 0:07:23.200 I am not in danger of the huge meteoric success. 0:07:23.240 --> 0:07:25.720 Well, it's also like, yeah, I mean, like you're from Chicago. 0:07:25.760 --> 0:07:27.640 You've been around a lot of beer drinking and that 0:07:27.760 --> 0:07:30.440 kind of thing. You've grown up around it, right. 0:07:30.320 --> 0:07:32.720 Yeah, and I never liked hard liquor, Like I never 0:07:32.800 --> 0:07:35.160 took to the harder stuff necessarily. 0:07:35.240 --> 0:07:37.440 Yeah, I don't know if I ever liked it. 0:07:37.480 --> 0:07:41.080 I just it worked. Yeah, marijuana was much more common. 0:07:41.120 --> 0:07:43.200 I think for me. Did you do you still smoke 0:07:43.240 --> 0:07:49.080 the marijuana. I'm feel popular to marijuana, right yeah, yeah, yeah, I. 0:07:48.400 --> 0:07:51.960 Like but you never were in it in the late 0:07:52.080 --> 0:07:54.320 nineties or early nineties when you were still drinking. 0:07:54.440 --> 0:07:57.640 No, when I stopped drinking, I stopped everything. Yeah yeah, yeah, 0:07:57.160 --> 0:08:00.600 but the marijuan even when I was and I didn't 0:08:00.640 --> 0:08:04.880 really like marijuana. Yeah, I just hash hash hash was 0:08:04.880 --> 0:08:08.560 around yea a lot of hash. I smoked a little. Yeah, yeah, 0:08:08.600 --> 0:08:11.800 but really I liked cocaine. And I'll tell you for why. 0:08:11.840 --> 0:08:14.080 It felt like a felt like a full on class 0:08:14.080 --> 0:08:18.160 A drug and it was like a vitamin that helped 0:08:18.200 --> 0:08:21.360 you drink more. So I do that, but unfortunately the 0:08:21.400 --> 0:08:25.920 spectacular side effects of you know, illness and death. Yeah, 0:08:26.000 --> 0:08:27.880 I felt and shame, you know. 0:08:27.960 --> 0:08:30.800 And I tried in my life, I have tried it 0:08:31.000 --> 0:08:34.040 and it didn't work for me for whatever we thank god, Yeah, 0:08:34.200 --> 0:08:36.160 because I was willing to try it, but I also 0:08:36.320 --> 0:08:38.880 was with I saw it here in LA when I land. 0:08:38.960 --> 0:08:43.200 I moved to New York in ninety six. Then I 0:08:43.240 --> 0:08:44.840 came to LA and O four oh five and the 0:08:44.880 --> 0:08:46.920 crew I was running with in oh four oh five, 0:08:48.400 --> 0:08:50.400 was before I met my wife, right, and I'd just 0:08:50.440 --> 0:08:52.440 come out of like a break up in New York, 0:08:52.440 --> 0:08:54.960 and I'm like, I'm coming to LA. The guys I 0:08:55.040 --> 0:08:58.320 was with were into cocaine, cigarettes and cocaine, and I 0:08:58.320 --> 0:09:01.079 picked up cigarettes, but I ever cared about cocaine. And 0:09:01.320 --> 0:09:04.719 their cocaine use was They're gonna do it all night 0:09:04.760 --> 0:09:07.520 and they're gonna play video games. It wasn't like go 0:09:07.600 --> 0:09:10.280 to the dance floor, girl, get a fight or pick 0:09:10.400 --> 0:09:12.760 up women. It was we're gonna play video games and 0:09:12.840 --> 0:09:13.720 keep the coke going. 0:09:13.920 --> 0:09:15.480 And any of these guys still alive. 0:09:16.880 --> 0:09:19.079 A couple of quit, A couple of them have gotten 0:09:19.080 --> 0:09:19.839 in serious trouble. 0:09:19.920 --> 0:09:23.800 Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can't stay at the crazy party forever. Now, 0:09:23.880 --> 0:09:25.679 let's take you back a little bit of Chicago, because 0:09:26.280 --> 0:09:29.000 you like, you're one of the founders of UCB, Right, 0:09:29.040 --> 0:09:30.760 you started it? Who'd you started with? 0:09:31.280 --> 0:09:33.719 Matt Beser, Amy Poehler, Ian Roberts. 0:09:33.400 --> 0:09:36.240 Right, so that you and there's how many of ucb's 0:09:36.240 --> 0:09:38.520 other night upright pound the table and sound that is 0:09:38.559 --> 0:09:40.480 the song. Guy's hating this, No, No, I think it's good. 0:09:40.480 --> 0:09:43.959 It sounds like you're like, you're eating donuts, we're rolling 0:09:44.080 --> 0:09:44.920 do heavy. 0:09:45.040 --> 0:09:47.400 So here's my favorite cookie crack. We're gonna make this 0:09:47.440 --> 0:09:50.520 wall where Yeah that looks delicious, Okay, Amy, Yeah, go ahead. 0:09:50.840 --> 0:09:52.880 So there's the four of them. There's four of them. 0:09:52.920 --> 0:09:57.360 There's four upright, citizen brigades. Is that I'm aware of? 0:09:57.440 --> 0:09:57.760 Is that right? 0:09:57.840 --> 0:09:58.680 Is that the four of us? 0:09:58.760 --> 0:10:00.840 Yes, but there's four to theaters. 0:10:01.160 --> 0:10:03.720 No, we don't. We're not involved in any way. We 0:10:03.760 --> 0:10:06.040 stepped away from it like three years ago. Yeah, I 0:10:06.080 --> 0:10:09.080 had no idea. It kind of tanked during COVID and 0:10:09.160 --> 0:10:09.920 the theaters were. 0:10:09.840 --> 0:10:12.440 In trouble, and of course, yeah. 0:10:11.760 --> 0:10:12.800 It was hard to keep going. 0:10:12.880 --> 0:10:14.520 So do you sell it to Jeff Bezos? Is that 0:10:14.520 --> 0:10:15.520 what I wish we would have? 0:10:15.920 --> 0:10:19.600 We sold it to some predatory, really smart businessman. 0:10:20.360 --> 0:10:23.480 Yeah, So did they keep the Because there's kind of 0:10:23.480 --> 0:10:25.880 an ethos with UCB. I always thought that there was 0:10:25.920 --> 0:10:28.280 a did you guys have a manifesto or something? I mean, 0:10:28.320 --> 0:10:30.760 I know it was improvisational, but we kind of had, 0:10:30.840 --> 0:10:34.560 like I think you're speaking to the cult aspect of it. 0:10:34.600 --> 0:10:37.560 We were sort of do it yourself. Landed in New 0:10:37.640 --> 0:10:40.120 York Open to theater in ninety eight, and it was 0:10:40.240 --> 0:10:45.600 kind of like, you know, do it yourself, edgy, cheap 0:10:45.760 --> 0:10:47.200 theater five bucks a ticket. 0:10:47.240 --> 0:10:49.719 That was sort of the cult of it all. And 0:10:50.040 --> 0:10:52.000 a lot of people who connected with us early on 0:10:52.559 --> 0:10:55.320 have gone on to become performers, you know, Rob Riggle, 0:10:55.400 --> 0:10:59.240 Paul Cheer, Aubrey Plaza, all these people who came through 0:10:59.280 --> 0:11:01.640 and discovered us as young people have gone on to 0:11:01.720 --> 0:11:04.360 careers and they got their stage time on that stage 0:11:04.360 --> 0:11:05.920 and they learned the craft. 0:11:05.960 --> 0:11:08.520 So that's but it was all improvisational theater, right. 0:11:08.360 --> 0:11:12.160 Sketch the theaters were. We had a curriculum. We wrote 0:11:12.160 --> 0:11:14.680 a book. The three of us wrote a book that me, 0:11:14.760 --> 0:11:16.760 Matt and Ian wrote a book that took like seven 0:11:16.800 --> 0:11:21.559 years that codified our take on improv, and then our 0:11:21.600 --> 0:11:24.079 teachers would work off of that curriculum. 0:11:24.200 --> 0:11:26.839 So can you boil down a little bit for me? 0:11:26.880 --> 0:11:28.560 I'm not trying to boil down the whole book, but 0:11:28.559 --> 0:11:30.520 what is your take on improv? 0:11:30.600 --> 0:11:35.000 What is lately my take on improv is shut your mouth, okay, 0:11:35.040 --> 0:11:40.400 And what that means is listen, relinquish your idea and 0:11:40.480 --> 0:11:43.280 build off of somebody else's. That would be the advice 0:11:43.480 --> 0:11:45.800 if you want to be a good collaborative art player. 0:11:46.120 --> 0:11:47.720 You want to be a late night host. That's how 0:11:47.760 --> 0:11:48.720 it did. Yeah. 0:11:48.920 --> 0:11:51.240 No, you guys have to fill time, no one. You 0:11:51.280 --> 0:11:54.640 have to avoid awkward pauses. You can't have like a 0:11:54.679 --> 0:11:55.320 dead moment. 0:11:56.160 --> 0:12:00.440 Oh contrere my French friend. I you ran it ran 0:12:00.960 --> 0:12:03.840 with the awkward pause. That was one of my signature bits, 0:12:04.400 --> 0:12:06.760 and late night was the awkward pause. I would even 0:12:06.800 --> 0:12:08.960 say to people, would you care for an awkward pause? 0:12:09.480 --> 0:12:12.000 And they would do it. We would do awkward pause, 0:12:12.360 --> 0:12:15.840 which which then developed in to smell my finger awkward pause, 0:12:16.160 --> 0:12:20.360 which I have to say probably wouldn't fly as well 0:12:20.360 --> 0:12:22.360 now as it did back then, but you know, things 0:12:22.440 --> 0:12:25.720 change so peculiar. It's funny. Well it was it was 0:12:25.760 --> 0:12:28.160 about I think it was. I was talking to someone. 0:12:28.200 --> 0:12:30.160 They do an awkward pause, and they held their hand 0:12:30.240 --> 0:12:32.160 to their face and their finger was just under their 0:12:32.200 --> 0:12:35.640 nose and they went like that, and I think it 0:12:35.880 --> 0:12:39.280 might have been I think it was Julie Louis Dreyfus 0:12:39.400 --> 0:12:42.880 or something like that, and she smelled. I said, did 0:12:42.920 --> 0:12:46.080 you smell on your finger? And then it became something 0:12:46.120 --> 0:12:48.200 like that. I mean, we're just thinking around funny, but 0:12:48.360 --> 0:12:54.080 I always rather admired the work of improvisational artists because 0:12:54.720 --> 0:12:57.280 I felt like it was it was more exciting to 0:12:57.320 --> 0:13:00.400 watch as an audience member. But I think what happened, 0:13:00.960 --> 0:13:02.640 I don't know if you if you agree with this. 0:13:03.120 --> 0:13:05.240 I think a lot of people started doing it who 0:13:05.840 --> 0:13:09.320 perhaps hadn't received enough information about how to do it 0:13:10.000 --> 0:13:12.880 or were schooled in it properly, and it got a 0:13:12.960 --> 0:13:16.760 kind of bad reputation. True, I think stand ups are saying. 0:13:16.559 --> 0:13:20.240 By the way, well, I think it's I've always hated 0:13:20.280 --> 0:13:23.920 watching bad improv because it's like there's nothing worse, because 0:13:23.920 --> 0:13:24.840 you're sort of stuck. 0:13:24.960 --> 0:13:28.680 I don't know if you group the shingles. Shingles is 0:13:28.679 --> 0:13:31.280 a low one. I've never had shingles. Jesus, it's bad. 0:13:31.440 --> 0:13:33.640 I think in a theater seat perhaps how about that? 0:13:33.760 --> 0:13:35.880 Yeah? OK, right, but fair enough? Yeah? 0:13:35.920 --> 0:13:38.600 Like or bad? I guess it applies to bad, like 0:13:38.640 --> 0:13:40.559 bad stand up. There's nothing like if you're if a 0:13:40.640 --> 0:13:42.640 comic's on for a half hour and five minutes and 0:13:42.679 --> 0:13:44.160 you're like, this is not going to be good. 0:13:44.320 --> 0:13:46.719 Yeah, there's nothing worse. So I always feel it might 0:13:46.760 --> 0:13:49.079 being facious as well. I get really uncomfortable, do you 0:13:49.160 --> 0:13:51.160 know what I mean? I was like, christ, I don't 0:13:51.160 --> 0:13:53.599 want any of this on me. I don't like to 0:13:53.679 --> 0:13:55.440 see any stand ups just in case. 0:13:55.640 --> 0:13:57.480 No, I don't watch a lot of improv either, because 0:13:57.920 --> 0:14:00.839 I get stressed by it. I haven't hot it in years. 0:14:00.840 --> 0:14:02.000 It's it's very stressful. 0:14:02.360 --> 0:14:04.560 Did you do you think you'd ever go back to it? 0:14:04.760 --> 0:14:06.319 I mean you, are you done with it? Now? Is? 0:14:07.000 --> 0:14:08.840 I do a show like once a month here in 0:14:08.960 --> 0:14:11.559 La where we get like a have you ever written. 0:14:11.280 --> 0:14:13.920 A book yet? I've written three? I'll have you on. 0:14:13.960 --> 0:14:16.600 We get a guest author, all right, they read excerpts 0:14:16.640 --> 0:14:19.080 from their book, and then we do scenes off of 0:14:19.080 --> 0:14:20.200 that material. 0:14:20.520 --> 0:14:24.480 Great, I've read I've written two biographical books and one 0:14:24.760 --> 0:14:28.480 work of literary fiction. Yeah all right, yeah, I'll get 0:14:28.520 --> 0:14:30.920 your car's best selling author my friend for real. 0:14:31.080 --> 0:14:33.200 Yeah see, I'm in a everyone's in their own bubble. 0:14:33.240 --> 0:14:34.320 Congratulations on that. 0:14:38.240 --> 0:14:41.840 The Craig Ferguson Fancy Rascal Stand Up Tour continues throughout 0:14:41.840 --> 0:14:45.800 the United States in twenty twenty four. For a full 0:14:45.840 --> 0:14:48.640 list of dates and tickets, go to the Craig fergusonshow 0:14:48.680 --> 0:14:56.680 dot Com slash Tour. See you out there. Did you 0:14:56.720 --> 0:14:59.080 ever run in any any real trouble with anything, because 0:14:59.080 --> 0:15:02.840 improvs fast. You don't of trying to censor yourself about 0:15:02.880 --> 0:15:05.040 an area that you're going in. We did a lot 0:15:05.040 --> 0:15:06.600 of aggressive stuff early on. 0:15:06.680 --> 0:15:09.760 I remember one show I told the audience I lost 0:15:09.800 --> 0:15:11.560 to bet with one of the guys in the show 0:15:11.640 --> 0:15:13.200 and I had to eat a can of dog food. 0:15:13.280 --> 0:15:16.720 So I wrapped a can of corn beef hash with 0:15:16.840 --> 0:15:19.880 a generic label that was a believable dog food label, 0:15:19.880 --> 0:15:22.400 and I would just come on stage and eat corn 0:15:22.400 --> 0:15:24.880 beef hash. But it was so revolting to watch someone 0:15:25.720 --> 0:15:27.720 it looked like someone was eating dog food, and that 0:15:27.880 --> 0:15:29.600 was sort of offending people. 0:15:30.800 --> 0:15:32.840 Just gross. Yeah, it is, to what. 0:15:32.920 --> 0:15:34.960 End, it's not really good. And then the other part 0:15:35.000 --> 0:15:38.960 of one we did a prank where during the show 0:15:39.520 --> 0:15:41.880 we announced the audience there's an ambulance trying to get 0:15:41.880 --> 0:15:43.880 into the parking lot next door, there's a red Honda 0:15:43.920 --> 0:15:47.160 Civic blocking the entrance. Please move your car, fittures, And 0:15:47.160 --> 0:15:50.920 then we would come back and say, please move your car. 0:15:51.600 --> 0:15:53.080 A man has had a heart attack and they can't 0:15:53.080 --> 0:15:55.080 get the vehicle in to get him out of the thing. 0:15:55.480 --> 0:15:57.200 And then at the end of the show we would 0:15:57.200 --> 0:16:00.720 say the man died thanks a lot for moving your car, 0:16:00.760 --> 0:16:04.480 whoever you are, and it's like, that's not comedy. 0:16:04.200 --> 0:16:08.880 No, that's just it's kind of a performance. 0:16:08.600 --> 0:16:11.680 Performance thing, And I think we thought they would get 0:16:12.600 --> 0:16:16.000 I think I'd like to believe that we thought, of course, 0:16:16.680 --> 0:16:19.200 we wouldn't shame an audience for not moving their car, 0:16:19.600 --> 0:16:21.920 because how could we be certain that that person was 0:16:21.960 --> 0:16:24.880 in this roof anyway? And also they could get a 0:16:24.920 --> 0:16:28.440 stretcher around, they could lift a man through parked cars. 0:16:28.520 --> 0:16:31.240 Like we assumed that they knew we were joking, but 0:16:31.280 --> 0:16:34.400 they didn't. So I can't assume that the audience is bright. 0:16:34.520 --> 0:16:35.760 I don't think it's. 0:16:35.680 --> 0:16:39.400 Always a nice surprise when they are. Yeah, but I 0:16:39.400 --> 0:16:41.400 don't know if you can. So let me say, so, 0:16:41.480 --> 0:16:45.560 you grew up in Chicago, right, so it's working class family. Yeah, 0:16:45.600 --> 0:16:47.920 pretty much. There was a thing. 0:16:48.280 --> 0:16:51.600 My dad was a salesman, so he made it. We 0:16:51.640 --> 0:16:53.320 moved to the suburbs, so then we had like a 0:16:53.360 --> 0:16:55.920 middle class life. When I hit like ten or twelve, 0:16:55.960 --> 0:16:59.600 something like, that was Chicago, it was called first it 0:16:59.640 --> 0:17:03.440 was Downers Grove, and then we moved to Darien and Westmont, okay, 0:17:03.520 --> 0:17:05.520 southwest suburbs of Chicago. 0:17:05.560 --> 0:17:09.119 All right, that's kind of nice, right lovely. And but 0:17:09.359 --> 0:17:13.480 you're I mean you're one of seven kids. Yeah, so Catholic, Catholic, 0:17:13.720 --> 0:17:16.560 very Irish Catholic. Yeah, definitely, yeah, no doubt about it. 0:17:16.560 --> 0:17:19.479 That was easy. Yeah. And are you still a Catholic? 0:17:20.200 --> 0:17:23.239 Are still a Catholic? Explain what that means? Well? Are 0:17:23.280 --> 0:17:25.840 you observant? Do you go to Mass? Do? I got? 0:17:26.080 --> 0:17:29.000 I might go to church on a Christmas now and then, 0:17:29.080 --> 0:17:32.600 but no, I don't really. But I did baptis baptize 0:17:32.640 --> 0:17:36.159 my kids and they currently go to a Catholic high school. 0:17:36.680 --> 0:17:38.240 I think I baptize them because. 0:17:37.960 --> 0:17:40.679 My parents like, you should baptize them, all right, I'll baptize. Yeah, no, 0:17:40.760 --> 0:17:41.199 I get it. 0:17:41.240 --> 0:17:44.760 And then uh so we'll see. That's about most of 0:17:44.800 --> 0:17:48.040 the Catholicism that they've been given. My wife's not. 0:17:48.200 --> 0:17:51.679 So right, so you're not quite deeply into the biscuit 0:17:51.720 --> 0:17:53.200 turning into Jesus or. 0:17:53.359 --> 0:17:55.560 We haven't done that yet. Part of me thinks, like 0:17:55.680 --> 0:17:58.080 just to make them work for something, Like part of 0:17:58.119 --> 0:18:00.399 me thinks like, I'll give you fifteen hundred dollar if 0:18:00.440 --> 0:18:05.320 you go through Communion and Confirmation and I learn all 0:18:05.359 --> 0:18:08.280 that Catechism, just to like force them to run through 0:18:08.320 --> 0:18:11.560 a gauntlet of religiosity and learn a little bit about 0:18:11.560 --> 0:18:12.320 the New Testament. 0:18:13.720 --> 0:18:16.119 I don't know. I have mixed feelings about it myself 0:18:16.160 --> 0:18:19.840 because I have two boys and I never the oldest 0:18:19.880 --> 0:18:21.240 one is twenty three. If I tell me to do 0:18:21.320 --> 0:18:24.720 something that you tell me, yeah, but I never never 0:18:24.720 --> 0:18:26.520 made them through it. They seem to kind of form 0:18:26.560 --> 0:18:30.080 their own opinions anyway. So you never put you grew 0:18:30.160 --> 0:18:33.600 up Catholic. No, I grew up a Church of Scotland Protestant, Okay, 0:18:33.720 --> 0:18:36.119 so kind of like, yeah, it's just the kind of 0:18:36.119 --> 0:18:40.640 flip side of Catholicism. Really, it's guilt without any good artwork. 0:18:41.520 --> 0:18:45.560 It's just a lot of guilt and whitewash rather than guilt. 0:18:45.600 --> 0:18:49.200 And you know, great pictures. I was always fascinated when 0:18:49.200 --> 0:18:51.760 you go to the churches, Catholic churches and you see Jesus, 0:18:51.840 --> 0:18:54.040 you know, all the different Jesus is and he's in 0:18:54.080 --> 0:18:57.000 a lot of pain. And I remember going around churches 0:18:57.040 --> 0:19:00.639 in Italy and seeing that. I think, and for artwork, 0:19:00.640 --> 0:19:02.840 I mean, just stunning. But then when you go out 0:19:02.880 --> 0:19:05.879