1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,080 Speaker 1: Welcome to Had of Money. I'm Joel, I'm Matt, and 2 00:00:03,120 --> 00:00:25,280 Speaker 1: today we're talking from Monk to money Monster with Doug Linum. 3 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:27,479 Speaker 2: Yeah, Joel, So I don't think it's a requirement to 4 00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:30,440 Speaker 2: have the lived reality of life. 5 00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:33,239 Speaker 3: Experience to be able to speak to our particular subject. 6 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:35,559 Speaker 2: But I think he can certainly help, which means our 7 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:38,360 Speaker 2: guest today, Doug Liman, is someone who we are very 8 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:42,400 Speaker 2: excited to speak with as his incredibly varied life as 9 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:44,720 Speaker 2: well as career, it spans more than I thought was 10 00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:48,200 Speaker 2: possible in a lifetime. So he's been broke and bankrupt 11 00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:51,159 Speaker 2: to living a comfortable life. He's taken vals of poverty 12 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:54,560 Speaker 2: to helping oversee over over two hundred and fifty million 13 00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:57,760 Speaker 2: dollars in assets as a money manager. He's graduated at 14 00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:00,480 Speaker 2: the top of his class as a marine to living 15 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:03,760 Speaker 2: for twenty years as a Benedictine monk. We've got plenty 16 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:04,800 Speaker 2: of questions for him. 17 00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:07,200 Speaker 1: We're also going to get into his latest book, Taming 18 00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:11,320 Speaker 1: Your Money Monster, Nine Paths to Money Mastery with the Enneagram, 19 00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:15,039 Speaker 1: which comes out next month. Doug, he takes spiritual wisdom, 20 00:01:15,319 --> 00:01:17,760 Speaker 1: he blends it with some psychological insight all and an 21 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:21,240 Speaker 1: effort to help folks to successfully handle their money to 22 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:24,080 Speaker 1: reach their financial goals. Doug Lineham, thank you so much 23 00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:25,440 Speaker 1: for joining us today on the podcast. 24 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:27,280 Speaker 4: Thanks guys, it's an honor to be here. 25 00:01:27,319 --> 00:01:29,200 Speaker 1: We're glad to have you, Doug. First question we got 26 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:30,440 Speaker 1: to ask, got to get out of the way. We 27 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:32,080 Speaker 1: ask everyone who comes on is what do you like 28 00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:34,440 Speaker 1: to splore? John Matt and I are drinking a craft 29 00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:36,720 Speaker 1: beer and some people are like, you spend how much 30 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:38,800 Speaker 1: on a bottle or a cannon of craft beer? 31 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:40,880 Speaker 3: A very nice one from for months? That's right, Yeah, 32 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:41,600 Speaker 3: this is good here. 33 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:43,760 Speaker 1: But what's that for you? Where people might be like, 34 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:45,400 Speaker 1: what what are you thinking over there? Man? 35 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:48,320 Speaker 4: I probably it would be art. Like I have a 36 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:51,960 Speaker 4: lot of like art in my house, and I have 37 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:55,920 Speaker 4: a hard time. It's just too much. Like you know, 38 00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:58,160 Speaker 4: I don't I don't always go like like, you know, 39 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:00,800 Speaker 4: high and original stuff. I'm not like Castas or anything 40 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:03,240 Speaker 4: like that. But you know, but I do like Picasso 41 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:06,880 Speaker 4: and like so you know, I get reprints mostly, but 42 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,640 Speaker 4: I try to get really high quality reprints of famous art. 43 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:11,920 Speaker 4: And whenever I go, I to pick stuff up, and 44 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,840 Speaker 4: you know, my walls are just covered in an art. Okay, 45 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:18,480 Speaker 4: there's a guy named Ladimirkush who's who's an artist from 46 00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:21,040 Speaker 4: Russian artist and lives in Paris, And anytime I come 47 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:22,680 Speaker 4: across one of his stuff, I just I. 48 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:23,840 Speaker 3: Gotta grab it. Okay. 49 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:26,480 Speaker 2: So when you're grabbing his stuff, are those originals since 50 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:27,920 Speaker 2: he's not nearly as well known. 51 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:31,480 Speaker 1: Okay, even still, see, if you're gonna go for originals 52 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,919 Speaker 1: like I do, you gotta go with the super cheap 53 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:37,359 Speaker 1: folk art variety that's. 54 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,880 Speaker 3: That's trained living out in the cabin in the woods. 55 00:02:38,919 --> 00:02:39,400 Speaker 3: Like you don't have a. 56 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,600 Speaker 4: Plenty of that too? Yeah, I got plenty of I do. 57 00:02:41,639 --> 00:02:43,480 Speaker 4: I do have lots of originals. You're just not like 58 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:46,799 Speaker 4: the Yeah, but not the you know, still find a museum. 59 00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:49,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, I got it all right, Joel, I only have 60 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:53,800 Speaker 2: to look in look into some Vladimir push Doug. In 61 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:56,600 Speaker 2: my opinion, considering or in your case, joining the Marines, 62 00:02:56,639 --> 00:02:58,560 Speaker 2: like you graduated top of your class, that seems like 63 00:02:58,600 --> 00:02:59,120 Speaker 2: a path of that. 64 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:01,360 Speaker 3: I don't know, quasi. 65 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:03,519 Speaker 2: Reasonable, Like there's there's there's millions of folks out there 66 00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:07,480 Speaker 2: who have joined the military, who who have served our country. 67 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:11,800 Speaker 2: But when it comes to joining, uh, I don't even know, like, 68 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:14,200 Speaker 2: how do you join, like how do you become a monk? 69 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:17,120 Speaker 2: And specifically, I'm curious what caused you to go in 70 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:20,639 Speaker 2: that direction after having graduated at the top of your class. 71 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:24,880 Speaker 4: Well, it's a big question. The simple answer is, and 72 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,960 Speaker 4: I think I joined the Marines to kind of impress 73 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,240 Speaker 4: my father. I wanted to prove to him that I 74 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:32,919 Speaker 4: was a manly man who could do manly things and 75 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:35,720 Speaker 4: didn't really work. He didn't, he didn't bother showing up 76 00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:39,600 Speaker 4: to my graduation. And I also had a bit of 77 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:43,560 Speaker 4: a kind of a spiritual epiphany at the time, and 78 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:47,200 Speaker 4: I realized that, you know, unresolved anger issues and high 79 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:50,400 Speaker 4: explosives were probably a really bad combination and that maybe 80 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:52,520 Speaker 4: might not be the best career choice for me. So 81 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:56,560 Speaker 4: I decided to turn down my commission as an officer 82 00:03:56,560 --> 00:04:00,360 Speaker 4: in the Marines and went and just ran out. After that, 83 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:04,200 Speaker 4: joined a Benedictine monastery. And you know, it was also 84 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:07,280 Speaker 4: I did it for a couple of reasons. One of course, 85 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:10,640 Speaker 4: I was looking for a higher calling and something that 86 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:12,880 Speaker 4: would give me all the things I loved about the Marines, 87 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:15,960 Speaker 4: like they spread a corps, the camaraderie says a purpose 88 00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:19,720 Speaker 4: and structure that I liked without necessarily having to go 89 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,760 Speaker 4: out there and kill people for a living, so that 90 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:26,040 Speaker 4: that seemed like a way trade up. And it was 91 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:28,360 Speaker 4: also a great way to really annoying my parents, Like 92 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:32,320 Speaker 4: it just absolutely flabbergasted them, Like I couldn't have picked anything. 93 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:35,920 Speaker 4: Being a MinC was about as radically different from the 94 00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:38,479 Speaker 4: way I was raised as you could imagine, and you know, 95 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:40,440 Speaker 4: it did a really good job of pissing my parents off, 96 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:41,160 Speaker 4: so that was a bonus. 97 00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:43,480 Speaker 3: So there was like a sinful desire. 98 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:46,040 Speaker 2: There was, yeah, like a sense of rebellion, of that 99 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:48,400 Speaker 2: rebellious spirit, so that that caused you to do that. 100 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:51,320 Speaker 2: But it's one thing to have done it for just like, okay, 101 00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:52,920 Speaker 2: you end up doing that for a couple of years, 102 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:55,279 Speaker 2: like you turned down your offer or your post or 103 00:04:55,279 --> 00:04:57,640 Speaker 2: something like that post graduation. It's one thing to do 104 00:04:57,680 --> 00:04:59,080 Speaker 2: that and maybe just do it for like a couple 105 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:00,520 Speaker 2: of years, but you did it for all long time, 106 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:03,039 Speaker 2: Like this is yeah, this wasn't just sort of like 107 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:06,080 Speaker 2: a like a wild hair. This was something something that 108 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:08,080 Speaker 2: you stuck with for like two decades, is that right? 109 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:10,320 Speaker 4: That's right? Twenty years And it was a teaching order, 110 00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:11,960 Speaker 4: so I was. At the same time, I was teaching 111 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:13,760 Speaker 4: in a private school. I was the head of a 112 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:17,560 Speaker 4: math department and and yeah, it was it was a 113 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:19,680 Speaker 4: good life. I mean, there were there are parts about 114 00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:21,640 Speaker 4: it that I really loved. And then after a while 115 00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:25,640 Speaker 4: things kind of got a little stale. And I think 116 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:28,440 Speaker 4: the struggle with all monasteries is that most of them 117 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:31,360 Speaker 4: are dying, Like monastic life is just not that popular anymore. 118 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:34,000 Speaker 4: And at the time, I was the youngest monk by 119 00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:37,000 Speaker 4: almost thirty years, and there were really no new monks 120 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:39,640 Speaker 4: coming into the community, and it just got older and older. 121 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:42,680 Speaker 4: It was like, well if at some point, you know, 122 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:44,400 Speaker 4: this is like you're on a treadmill and people are 123 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:48,080 Speaker 4: falling off and there's no one coming up behind me, Like, well, 124 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:50,840 Speaker 4: how is this going to work? Like what's my life 125 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:53,200 Speaker 4: going to be like if I stay? And yeah, and 126 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:55,440 Speaker 4: it was basically I eventually just ended up being, you know, 127 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:59,200 Speaker 4: doing hospice care essentially, and then I'd be the last 128 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:03,240 Speaker 4: one standing and that just wasn't and the community kind 129 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:07,039 Speaker 4: of got a little rigid and a little you know, 130 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:10,240 Speaker 4: it had its other issues, other issues as well, but 131 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:12,919 Speaker 4: eventually I realized that this was not going to be 132 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:16,880 Speaker 4: this was up the place. It's kind of a marriage, 133 00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:19,920 Speaker 4: you know, you kind of it's good at the beginning, 134 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:21,719 Speaker 4: and then it's not good at the end, and you 135 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:23,719 Speaker 4: stick it out hoping it's going to get better, and 136 00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:26,040 Speaker 4: then it doesn't, and eventually you just kind of got 137 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:29,080 Speaker 4: to pull the plug. So that's that's kind of what happened. 138 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:32,280 Speaker 4: And and then of course I went into finance after that, 139 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:33,599 Speaker 4: So that's another story. 140 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:38,080 Speaker 1: What was the tell me about like the declining monastic life? 141 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:41,800 Speaker 1: And you talk about in your first book the financial 142 00:06:41,839 --> 00:06:44,800 Speaker 1: difficulties that your monastery was facing, and it forced you 143 00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:47,719 Speaker 1: to kind of have to confront money head on in 144 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:50,800 Speaker 1: a way that you you never had to before in fact, 145 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:53,800 Speaker 1: like army or you know, life in the Marines, and 146 00:06:53,839 --> 00:06:57,160 Speaker 1: then and then monastic life kind of insulated you in 147 00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:59,320 Speaker 1: some ways from having to think about money too much. 148 00:06:59,440 --> 00:06:59,800 Speaker 3: Is that right? 149 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:03,400 Speaker 4: Well? No, okay, yes, and no, I mean that was 150 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:05,800 Speaker 4: the hope. I mean, I certainly joined those I was 151 00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:08,040 Speaker 4: hoping that those would be a lifestyles that would allow 152 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:09,720 Speaker 4: me to avoid the world of money because I was 153 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:12,880 Speaker 4: really you know, I hated thinking and dealing with about 154 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:15,040 Speaker 4: everything to deal with finance. I just was kind of 155 00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:18,080 Speaker 4: allergic to it because of the way my family treated 156 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:21,600 Speaker 4: money growing up, which was to weaponize it. My family, 157 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:25,560 Speaker 4: you know, my father was a fairly successful executive for 158 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,800 Speaker 4: an oil company, and and in my in my childhood environment, 159 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:31,120 Speaker 4: I assumed that kind of money was the root of 160 00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:34,480 Speaker 4: all evil or something like that. It was just so 161 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:36,520 Speaker 4: that's kind of why I did run away to the marine, 162 00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:38,760 Speaker 4: so wise to trying to get away from money. But unfortunately, 163 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:44,040 Speaker 4: about three years into the monastic journey, the community went bankrupt, 164 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:46,920 Speaker 4: and so like somebody had to figure out this. It 165 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:49,200 Speaker 4: turns out if you live in a community where everybody 166 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,760 Speaker 4: hates dealing with money, like, it just doesn't end well, 167 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:54,920 Speaker 4: this is not going to work. And we basically took 168 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:56,880 Speaker 4: the vial of poverty a little too seriously, and so 169 00:07:57,640 --> 00:08:00,400 Speaker 4: it was a real mess. Like and so here I 170 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:02,160 Speaker 4: was joining them, honestly hoping to get hoping to get 171 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:04,000 Speaker 4: away from money, and I end up having to deal 172 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,720 Speaker 4: with it more than I would have if I hadn't 173 00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:08,960 Speaker 4: joined the monastery, because you know, it was just it 174 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:12,360 Speaker 4: was just an absolute train wreck. And so it took 175 00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:14,320 Speaker 4: me a couple of years to figure that problem out, 176 00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:16,560 Speaker 4: but I did and got the community on you know, 177 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:20,080 Speaker 4: solid financial ground. And then because I was the head 178 00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:22,520 Speaker 4: of a math department at the school, I decided to 179 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:26,640 Speaker 4: start offering economics and personal flience courses to the kids 180 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,920 Speaker 4: because I thought one of the real problems in our 181 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:31,080 Speaker 4: society is we don't teach kids about money. We don't 182 00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:34,240 Speaker 4: teach them how to the basics of budgeting and you know, 183 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:36,760 Speaker 4: how to earn, save, and invest, all these things that 184 00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:39,120 Speaker 4: are just basic skills that everyone needs to have. And 185 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:43,200 Speaker 4: so I did that well for maybe ten twelve years 186 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:49,320 Speaker 4: while I was teaching. And then just then what got interesting. 187 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:51,800 Speaker 4: As I was doing a class project with the kids 188 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:54,480 Speaker 4: and for fun, I thought, well, let's just open up 189 00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:57,679 Speaker 4: the school retirement plan and show the kids how retirement 190 00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:01,679 Speaker 4: plans work. And I did that, and as soon as 191 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:04,520 Speaker 4: I opened it up and started looking around, it was 192 00:09:04,559 --> 00:09:06,840 Speaker 4: a complete train wreck, Like if for those who were 193 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,240 Speaker 4: familiar with the world of finance. There was essentially no 194 00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:13,640 Speaker 4: fiduciary oversight. The fees were very high on the funds, 195 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:17,640 Speaker 4: the performance was terrible. There was the thing hadn't been managed. 196 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:20,280 Speaker 4: No one had done any maintenance on this plan for 197 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:24,120 Speaker 4: twenty years, so it was completely adrift. And I'm like oh, 198 00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:27,559 Speaker 4: this is a nightmare. And so that I went looking 199 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:30,040 Speaker 4: around for a company that could do a better job. 200 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:33,200 Speaker 4: And then what I realized is that almost every school, 201 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:36,080 Speaker 4: every retirement plan, and almost every private and public school 202 00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:38,800 Speaker 4: in this country is an absolute mess. It's a disaster. 203 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:42,920 Speaker 4: And I couldn't find a company that I really liked 204 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:46,200 Speaker 4: that would do a good job on this to solve 205 00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:48,240 Speaker 4: this problem. And so I was, well, that's a pain point, 206 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:50,120 Speaker 4: and I know how to do it. So I had 207 00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:52,880 Speaker 4: this crazy idea is I'll start my own investment advisory 208 00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:55,440 Speaker 4: firm while I'm a monk, and so I did. So 209 00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:59,280 Speaker 4: I started my own firm to solve that problem, to 210 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:03,640 Speaker 4: build better uh retirement plans were schools and colleges. And 211 00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:06,120 Speaker 4: then this just by and then of course I left 212 00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:11,559 Speaker 4: the monastery, started this business and I and then I 213 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:15,320 Speaker 4: actually merged my firm very quickly after that with a 214 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:20,240 Speaker 4: larger company in Santa Fe. But what was really just 215 00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:23,240 Speaker 4: bizarre stroke of luck is right when I was launching 216 00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:26,600 Speaker 4: this business, the New York Times did a six piece 217 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:30,480 Speaker 4: expos on the problem of teaching retirement plans across the country. 218 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:33,280 Speaker 4: So every month they were doing this hard hitting article 219 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:36,280 Speaker 4: about how awful the school retirement plans were. And then 220 00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:39,360 Speaker 4: I just reached out to them on Facebook and said, hey, 221 00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:41,319 Speaker 4: I love what you guys. I love these articles. I 222 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:45,120 Speaker 4: here's me, this crazy monk starting this business to try 223 00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:48,560 Speaker 4: to solve this problem. And they loved the idea. So 224 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:53,840 Speaker 4: they flew Ron Lieber, who's the financial column the columnists 225 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:56,280 Speaker 4: for the financial section of the New York Times, flew 226 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:58,400 Speaker 4: out to Santa Fe did spend the day with me, 227 00:10:58,559 --> 00:11:00,720 Speaker 4: did a big piece that went on the cover of 228 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:03,320 Speaker 4: the Business section of the Times, and that went viral. 229 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:05,520 Speaker 4: That just launched my career in finance. So that's kind 230 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:06,840 Speaker 4: of it's kind of how I got to that point 231 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:07,360 Speaker 4: in my life. 232 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,360 Speaker 2: So it was almost out of a I mean it 233 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:11,880 Speaker 2: was necessary, Like, like you said, there is a pain point, 234 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:15,200 Speaker 2: but it's something that y'all are facing there as a 235 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:17,920 Speaker 2: monastery in and of itself. We've got more questions here 236 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:21,240 Speaker 2: specifically too about your monastic journey. But just as like 237 00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:23,640 Speaker 2: a small tangent, like it sounded like the fees were 238 00:11:23,679 --> 00:11:27,560 Speaker 2: the worst part about the retirement plan there for the monks, 239 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:30,240 Speaker 2: Like I almost picture you cracking this thing open, and 240 00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:32,280 Speaker 2: it basically had fees from twenty thirty years ago, like 241 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:34,880 Speaker 2: from the eighties, and like, would you say that that's 242 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:38,000 Speaker 2: one of the best advancements of retirement funds and the 243 00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:41,079 Speaker 2: ability for individuals to manage their own retirement, to manage 244 00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:44,360 Speaker 2: their own iras is the fact that, yes, we have 245 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:48,880 Speaker 2: total control, but just we've seen fees decrease significantly. I'm 246 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:50,760 Speaker 2: curious if that's what you saw when you took a 247 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:51,160 Speaker 2: look there. 248 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:53,960 Speaker 4: Oh yeah, fee compression is great, Like fees are going 249 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:57,800 Speaker 4: down funds. But also like in a retirement plan, you 250 00:11:57,840 --> 00:12:01,160 Speaker 4: don't have infinite choice, Like you have have control over 251 00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:05,080 Speaker 4: your investments as the individual, but the plant administrator, whoever's 252 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:08,960 Speaker 4: running the show, it gets to pick what funds. You 253 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:13,040 Speaker 4: get to choose from inside the plan. And so yeah, 254 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:15,720 Speaker 4: so the fees were high, but the funds were terrible. 255 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:17,679 Speaker 4: They should have just been you know, some of those 256 00:12:17,679 --> 00:12:20,760 Speaker 4: should have been mothballed, you know, decades ago. So it's 257 00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:24,960 Speaker 4: it's fees, it's it's performance. I would say those are 258 00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:28,240 Speaker 4: the two biggies. But there's lots of other subsets my problems. 259 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:32,760 Speaker 1: You mentioned taking the valve poverty too seriously, and when 260 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:34,640 Speaker 1: you look at kind of like church history and stuff 261 00:12:34,679 --> 00:12:38,400 Speaker 1: like that, there are you know, the desert Fathers or 262 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:41,240 Speaker 1: whatever who took a valve poverty to the extreme, And 263 00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:43,200 Speaker 1: there have been many examples, I think throughout the ages 264 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:46,720 Speaker 1: and different religious sects. But now you're like a money manager, 265 00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:49,240 Speaker 1: which is kind of the exact opposite of a valve 266 00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:52,680 Speaker 1: poverty or feels or feels like it. They feel like antitheses, right, 267 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:55,840 Speaker 1: So what's your take on that. I was you're reading 268 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,800 Speaker 1: a book on spiritual disciplines recently, and the author talked 269 00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:01,360 Speaker 1: about how like, hey actually in the hands of Christians 270 00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:04,120 Speaker 1: doing good work with that money. It's like that's the 271 00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:05,840 Speaker 1: best place that money could be. So I'm curious to 272 00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:10,360 Speaker 1: hear your your take on that duality or seeming contradiction there. 273 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:13,440 Speaker 4: Well, I'd agree with you the last thing you just 274 00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:15,800 Speaker 4: just said, which is that so money is power, right, 275 00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:20,360 Speaker 4: and it's also morally neutral. Money isn't good or bad. 276 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:24,080 Speaker 4: It depends on how you're using it. So if you 277 00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:26,000 Speaker 4: if you take all the good people in the world, 278 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:29,080 Speaker 4: the Christians of the world, and you take the money 279 00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:31,320 Speaker 4: from them, and you take the power from them, then 280 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:34,240 Speaker 4: it's all going to people who you know, maybe I'm 281 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:38,160 Speaker 4: not saying they're bad people, but you're you're essentially what 282 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:40,560 Speaker 4: came to mind, sorry is like basically says a castrating 283 00:13:40,559 --> 00:13:43,040 Speaker 4: yourself and your ability to like make a real big 284 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:45,679 Speaker 4: difference in the world in terms of you know, having 285 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:48,720 Speaker 4: this impact, that money is one of the best tools 286 00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:53,240 Speaker 4: we have for love and service possible. Now that now, 287 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,560 Speaker 4: I don't want to take away from the people who 288 00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:58,080 Speaker 4: take a vile of poverty either, Like I think this 289 00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:00,160 Speaker 4: gets maybe gets into my new book, what I call 290 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:03,040 Speaker 4: my new book is Taming your money Monster. And there 291 00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:06,240 Speaker 4: are people who take a poverty for the right reasons, 292 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:08,640 Speaker 4: and they take it because they want to live in 293 00:14:08,679 --> 00:14:11,040 Speaker 4: solidarity with the poor and the oppressed, and I think 294 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:13,640 Speaker 4: that's extremely noble. But then there are people like me 295 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:16,640 Speaker 4: and the monks in the monastery who took a viole 296 00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:19,960 Speaker 4: of poverty because of their money issues, because they were 297 00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:25,240 Speaker 4: avoidant of money. They there was unconscious they were doing it. 298 00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:28,560 Speaker 4: On this there's some good obviously good reasons on the surface, 299 00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:32,360 Speaker 4: but deep down it was like this rebellion against my parents, 300 00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:35,880 Speaker 4: rebellion against society. It was like it wasn't a healthy 301 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:39,600 Speaker 4: rejection of money. It was an unhealthy rejection of money. 302 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:42,480 Speaker 4: And on the same side, you can have a healthy 303 00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:45,320 Speaker 4: relationship to money and have a lot of it, and 304 00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:47,440 Speaker 4: you can have an unhealthy relationship to money and have 305 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:50,120 Speaker 4: a lot of it. It's really about what's going on 306 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:53,440 Speaker 4: in unconscious and your conscious and most importantly your unconscious mind. 307 00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:57,480 Speaker 4: What what's driving you here and motivating you? And then 308 00:14:57,560 --> 00:15:00,680 Speaker 4: what's the outcome is it? Is it outcome going to 309 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:03,000 Speaker 4: be more love and service in the world than great 310 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:06,360 Speaker 4: if it's more selfishness and more greed or more like 311 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:09,440 Speaker 4: so like for example, you know, we obviously can think 312 00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:11,840 Speaker 4: of examples like you know, Gordon Gecko on Wall Street 313 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:14,080 Speaker 4: and you know, all these people who were going after 314 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:18,560 Speaker 4: money in a horrible, greedy, avaricious way, and that's one 315 00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:21,360 Speaker 4: model that we obviously don't want to want to emulate. 316 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:23,640 Speaker 4: But then there's people who have a lot of money 317 00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:26,600 Speaker 4: and they have all this ability to like heal our 318 00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:30,560 Speaker 4: broken world. That's great. But on the flip side, for example, 319 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:32,400 Speaker 4: there was a monk in the monastery, I'll call him 320 00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:38,120 Speaker 4: Brother Pious. You know, he refused to touch money for 321 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:41,280 Speaker 4: any reason, Like there was he wouldn't he wouldn't use 322 00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:43,280 Speaker 4: a credit card or a debit card or cash. For 323 00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:46,680 Speaker 4: years he went without thinking that money, to even touching 324 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:48,880 Speaker 4: money would pollute his soul in some weird way. And 325 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:51,560 Speaker 4: so the weird thing about that is it made all 326 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:54,600 Speaker 4: the other monks around him touch money more often to 327 00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:57,640 Speaker 4: keep his soul pure and clean and so right, and 328 00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:00,720 Speaker 4: and what it did is it it act? It didn't. 329 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:05,040 Speaker 4: It didn't diminish his ego. It inflated his ego. It 330 00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:08,360 Speaker 4: gave him a sense of superiority from the other monks. 331 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:10,800 Speaker 4: He was on this sort of pious perch that he 332 00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:12,480 Speaker 4: could look down on the rest of us who are 333 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:15,440 Speaker 4: handling and handling this dirty, dirty money all day to 334 00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:18,360 Speaker 4: keep him fed and housed. And it was just it 335 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:22,040 Speaker 4: was it was utter insanity, right, And so so it 336 00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:25,800 Speaker 4: really isn't the vile poverty, or it isn't having a 337 00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:28,040 Speaker 4: lot of money. It's like, well, why are you doing this? 338 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:30,800 Speaker 4: Is it? Is it reducing your ego? Is it making 339 00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:33,640 Speaker 4: you more loving and kind or not? And it's you know, 340 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:35,280 Speaker 4: it's by the fruits you shall know them. And so 341 00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:37,800 Speaker 4: that's really So it's a bit of a long winded 342 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:40,960 Speaker 4: answer to a complicated question. But there isn't a simple 343 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:43,880 Speaker 4: It isn't a simple black and white issue. 344 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,080 Speaker 2: Yeah sure, yeah, Well so for a second there, like 345 00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:47,840 Speaker 2: you touched on selfishness and greed. 346 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:48,280 Speaker 3: Uh. 347 00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:50,840 Speaker 2: At one point you said like you are trying to 348 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:55,120 Speaker 2: encourage folks to become capitalists, not consumers. And it seems 349 00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:57,520 Speaker 2: like you like you are pointing folks more towards the 350 00:16:57,800 --> 00:17:01,760 Speaker 2: like that selfishness mindset. Uh, if we are sort of greedy, 351 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:06,120 Speaker 2: how that could lead folks down paths of disaster as 352 00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:10,200 Speaker 2: opposed to criticizing the overall system of capitalism. It sounds 353 00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:12,520 Speaker 2: like you're you're basically pushing folks towards frugality to a 354 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:14,840 Speaker 2: certain extent, which I don't know, that's something that that 355 00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:16,240 Speaker 2: we talk about a good bit here on the show. 356 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:17,679 Speaker 2: But can you talk to that for a minute. 357 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:21,000 Speaker 4: So, yes, So, so it's frugality is important. You got 358 00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:23,000 Speaker 4: to you got to save more than you earn if 359 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:26,160 Speaker 4: you ever want to have real wealth. And so yeah, 360 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:28,560 Speaker 4: it's the idea that you you know, as I put 361 00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:32,800 Speaker 4: in the book capitalists or somebody who invests and saves 362 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:35,720 Speaker 4: and invests and has wealth, and a consumer someone who 363 00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:37,280 Speaker 4: just sort of goes out, goes out there and spends 364 00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:40,159 Speaker 4: everything they have on stuff and then they're broke and 365 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:42,840 Speaker 4: so they're sort of they're they're sort of that they're 366 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:45,679 Speaker 4: they're feeding into the negative side of the capitalistic system. 367 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:49,760 Speaker 4: And so where capitalists has positive and negative connotations, and 368 00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:52,720 Speaker 4: maybe the language here is a bit of a bit 369 00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:55,680 Speaker 4: of a barrier, but essentially, what you need to be 370 00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:57,840 Speaker 4: able to do is to have enough money to take 371 00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:00,640 Speaker 4: care of yourself and and and really, you know, live 372 00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:04,520 Speaker 4: a comfortable life. And what that means is for me 373 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:07,240 Speaker 4: and what that means for you might be very different things. 374 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:11,679 Speaker 4: But what I don't want is for people to endure 375 00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:16,439 Speaker 4: the unnecessary suffering that poverty produces in their lives. Because 376 00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:20,800 Speaker 4: we know from the science that your socioeconomic status is 377 00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:24,840 Speaker 4: the best predictor of mortality. So the less money you have, 378 00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:29,720 Speaker 4: the more poverty. Poor people get hit with more bad 379 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:31,920 Speaker 4: things that you don't want in life than you could 380 00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:35,159 Speaker 4: possibly imagine. So poor people have higher rates of obesity, 381 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:40,680 Speaker 4: of drug addiction, of domestic violence, of crime, of workplace injury, 382 00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:44,359 Speaker 4: you know, cancer, all the things in life that you 383 00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:46,920 Speaker 4: don't want to get hit with. Poor people get hit 384 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,040 Speaker 4: with it more than the rest of us because the 385 00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:53,240 Speaker 4: stress of being poor is unrelenting. It's it's like walking 386 00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:57,000 Speaker 4: over a pit of alligators on a tightrope every single day. 387 00:18:57,160 --> 00:19:01,679 Speaker 4: It's just it's truly something that we should be trying 388 00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:04,560 Speaker 4: to eliminate from the world. So is it is it 389 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:08,440 Speaker 4: so much like, oh, I want everyone to be abilities. Well, 390 00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:12,199 Speaker 4: that'd be great, But mostly it's like I see this 391 00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:16,080 Speaker 4: as a way of preventing suffering, like helping people with 392 00:19:16,119 --> 00:19:20,600 Speaker 4: their finances. It isn't just about oh, being super rich 393 00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:22,959 Speaker 4: and greedy. It's about no, it's about it's about being 394 00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:26,280 Speaker 4: a suffering prevention specialist, is what I call myself. Sometimes 395 00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:28,800 Speaker 4: it's like, I'm gonna try to help you avoid all 396 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:32,639 Speaker 4: the pain. It's unnecessary if you can get your finances 397 00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:36,639 Speaker 4: in order and have a robust and healthy relationship with money. 398 00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:37,520 Speaker 4: So that's I'm. 399 00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:40,200 Speaker 1: Gonna update my LinkedIn now change my title from Suffering 400 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:44,360 Speaker 1: Prevention special host to suffering Specialist. I love that, I think, 401 00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,200 Speaker 1: I mean, I think that's true. I've never thought about 402 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,680 Speaker 1: it like that, but that's like a big motivation behind 403 00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:51,520 Speaker 1: what we do is to help people not suffer with money. 404 00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:53,640 Speaker 1: And we talk about this even in kind of our 405 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,800 Speaker 1: our bios on the how to Money website. It's like, 406 00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:58,760 Speaker 1: you know, neither of us are aiming for Elon musk 407 00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:02,720 Speaker 1: levels of wealth and in fact, like not even not 408 00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:05,200 Speaker 1: even close to a goal that registers on my radar, 409 00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:08,199 Speaker 1: but helping other people like not mess it up the 410 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:11,000 Speaker 1: way I've seen people, including people in my family that 411 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:13,560 Speaker 1: are close to me mess it up that that creates 412 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:18,399 Speaker 1: so much hardship that that's certainly a goal. I'm curious too. 413 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:21,439 Speaker 1: You mentioned in your book you that you had a 414 00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:26,280 Speaker 1: minister friend of yours who's quite stingy, and that left 415 00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:29,280 Speaker 1: an impact on you too. So part of yeah, this 416 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:33,360 Speaker 1: goal of inspiring not only good money habits but also generosity, 417 00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:36,400 Speaker 1: you've seen the opposite at play. Yeah, what's your take 418 00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:38,120 Speaker 1: on on stinginess and money? 419 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:42,399 Speaker 4: Stinginess is a real problem for some people, right, and 420 00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:47,040 Speaker 4: so there's there's you need to be frugal, but maybe 421 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,680 Speaker 4: we did just maybe distinguished frugal and stingy and I'm 422 00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:51,639 Speaker 4: just kind of winging it here a little bit on 423 00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:54,600 Speaker 4: these definitions. But like, frugal is all right, you need 424 00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:57,800 Speaker 4: to be prudent about how much you spend because you 425 00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,720 Speaker 4: need to have money to save so you can invest 426 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:05,160 Speaker 4: you can, But then stinginess is this kind of avariciousness 427 00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:09,200 Speaker 4: that that is basically a lack of love. It's a 428 00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:13,280 Speaker 4: lack of it's like where generosity is a virtue. Let's 429 00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:16,320 Speaker 4: put it that way as well, Like, so, so saving 430 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,679 Speaker 4: is important, but you need to learn how to be 431 00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:21,560 Speaker 4: generous with your with your resources at the same time. 432 00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:24,280 Speaker 4: So there's a balance between like, well, why do you 433 00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:26,480 Speaker 4: have all this money, Well, the point of having it 434 00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:29,600 Speaker 4: is again to love and serve God in the world. Like, 435 00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:34,040 Speaker 4: that's that's why you've got it. So if you aren't giving, 436 00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:36,360 Speaker 4: if it's so, it's what I call the four pillars 437 00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:39,000 Speaker 4: of finance, and the four pillars of finance for me 438 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:45,720 Speaker 4: are earning, saving, investing, and giving. And so you kind 439 00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:48,080 Speaker 4: of got to master this the first three pillars before 440 00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:50,960 Speaker 4: you have any money to give, but once you have 441 00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:54,399 Speaker 4: some wealth, it's really that's that's the final pillar that 442 00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:58,600 Speaker 4: is essential that everyone should be giving back and to 443 00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:02,280 Speaker 4: the extent that they're able to fix the crack in 444 00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:05,400 Speaker 4: the world that God put them on this planet to heal. 445 00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:08,440 Speaker 2: So you are segueing very nicely into your new book 446 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:10,880 Speaker 2: before and we're going to talk more about the enneagram 447 00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:12,879 Speaker 2: right after the break here, Doug, But before that, I 448 00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:15,040 Speaker 2: guess I got one quick follow up, so you mentioned 449 00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:18,000 Speaker 2: with your pillars giving being the essentially sort of like 450 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:21,520 Speaker 2: the final step. What are your thoughts on folks giving 451 00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:25,320 Speaker 2: money essentially all along the way, so as they are 452 00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:27,280 Speaker 2: first learning how to handle their money well while they 453 00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:30,680 Speaker 2: are still in debt, perhaps to essentially build that muscle, 454 00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:32,240 Speaker 2: because that's something that we've talked about here on the 455 00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:34,680 Speaker 2: show before, and it's something that we both that Joe 456 00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:37,480 Speaker 2: and I both have done too, where it's always been 457 00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:40,119 Speaker 2: a part of I guess just how it is that 458 00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:42,880 Speaker 2: we handle our money as opposed to seeing it as 459 00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:44,960 Speaker 2: like the sort of finish line like, oh, because once 460 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,320 Speaker 2: I get to this certain net worth amount or once 461 00:22:47,359 --> 00:22:50,680 Speaker 2: I get to this whatever promotion, then I'll finally be 462 00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:51,400 Speaker 2: able to be a giver. 463 00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:52,919 Speaker 3: Can you can you speak to that? 464 00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:55,280 Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean you want to be generous along the way. 465 00:22:55,359 --> 00:22:57,560 Speaker 4: It's just a matter of it's the giving needs to 466 00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:01,240 Speaker 4: be in proportion to your income, and so as long 467 00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:05,240 Speaker 4: as you're not, you know, harming yourself in some significant way, 468 00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:08,400 Speaker 4: then of course you need to be giving. Again, all 469 00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:11,159 Speaker 4: four pillars have to be in place at all times, 470 00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:17,680 Speaker 4: and so as as your financial health improves, then all 471 00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:19,920 Speaker 4: four pillars sort of rising together. Let's put it that way. 472 00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:22,679 Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, we're gonna get you more on the aneagram. 473 00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:24,359 Speaker 1: Talk about Doug's book, and if you don't know what 474 00:23:24,359 --> 00:23:28,359 Speaker 1: the enneagram is, we'll talk about We'll inform that it's 475 00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:31,400 Speaker 1: actually a really beautiful way of understanding yourself and how 476 00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:33,959 Speaker 1: you're created, and then how that impacts how you think 477 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,320 Speaker 1: about and handle money. We'll talk more about that with 478 00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:37,560 Speaker 1: Doug right after. 479 00:23:37,359 --> 00:23:47,960 Speaker 3: This we are back from the break talking with Doug. 480 00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:51,000 Speaker 2: Lineup how he got from being a monk to a 481 00:23:51,119 --> 00:23:54,359 Speaker 2: money monster and Doug, let's talk about the enneagram. I 482 00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,840 Speaker 2: think before the break you're you mentioned brother Pious. If 483 00:23:57,880 --> 00:24:01,560 Speaker 2: I remember correctly, I think that was avoidant behavior of 484 00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:04,560 Speaker 2: an aneagram number one. Uh, you can correct me if 485 00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:06,879 Speaker 2: I'm right there, but you got it? Okay, awesome, Awesome. 486 00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:09,600 Speaker 2: We have seen just a rise in the popularity of 487 00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:11,600 Speaker 2: the anagram. I feel like I read a book on it. 488 00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:14,320 Speaker 2: I don't know, maybe like several years ago. I'm still 489 00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:16,919 Speaker 2: not totally sure what number I am. But can you 490 00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:19,240 Speaker 2: explain to listeners maybe who aren't as familiar with it, 491 00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:22,880 Speaker 2: what it is and why you yourself have gravitated towards 492 00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:23,320 Speaker 2: using it. 493 00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:27,840 Speaker 4: Sure, so your personality has two components to it. There's 494 00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:30,679 Speaker 4: a nature component, which is your DNA that in your 495 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:34,560 Speaker 4: genes that it has a very deep and profound impact 496 00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:36,919 Speaker 4: on how your personality is going to be shaped. But 497 00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:39,919 Speaker 4: then there's also a nurture part to your personality, and 498 00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:43,800 Speaker 4: the anteagram explains that side of who you are, how 499 00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:49,280 Speaker 4: you how your childhood environment shaped your personality and shape 500 00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:52,800 Speaker 4: the ego defenses that you had to have and how 501 00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:57,439 Speaker 4: to develop in order to survive in this world. And 502 00:24:57,520 --> 00:25:00,479 Speaker 4: what's interesting about the anagram is what you know as 503 00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:02,399 Speaker 4: to think of a color wheel. If you're thinking of 504 00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:04,800 Speaker 4: a color wheel and a circle, and then if you 505 00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:08,280 Speaker 4: were to divide that up into nine slices, like nine 506 00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:12,360 Speaker 4: pie slices, then those where each of those pie slices are, 507 00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:17,240 Speaker 4: that's a kind of an archetypal pattern of personality that 508 00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:21,840 Speaker 4: you can develop in your childhood. So there's nine archetypes 509 00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:24,320 Speaker 4: of personality in the enneagram, but there's also an infinite 510 00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:27,960 Speaker 4: variety inside each one of them. So it's got lots 511 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:31,920 Speaker 4: of flexibility in room for all of our unique individuality. 512 00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:35,879 Speaker 4: But there's only so many ways you can design a 513 00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:39,000 Speaker 4: human ego. Think of it like this, and I'll like 514 00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:42,040 Speaker 4: to use car metaphors. I think it helps. So you 515 00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:44,320 Speaker 4: can think of it like a car. The car you 516 00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:46,560 Speaker 4: drive has a unique year, make, and model, and your 517 00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:49,720 Speaker 4: car is completely unique from every other car on the road, 518 00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:54,840 Speaker 4: and yet it still has like a structure. We could 519 00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:57,080 Speaker 4: put it in kind of a category of a type 520 00:25:57,119 --> 00:25:59,919 Speaker 4: of car, So we can have SUVs, we can have 521 00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:03,280 Speaker 4: compact cars, we can have family sedans, you can have 522 00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:06,800 Speaker 4: you know, hummers or you know, there's all these different ways. 523 00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:09,760 Speaker 4: So there's a kind of a model of car, style 524 00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:13,000 Speaker 4: of car that you're driving, and that style of car 525 00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:17,680 Speaker 4: determines how you're going to experience the road of the highway. 526 00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:20,760 Speaker 4: But same thing with the enneagram, Like your ego is 527 00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:23,600 Speaker 4: the thing you're driving around in, and the style of 528 00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:27,320 Speaker 4: ego that you have determines how you perceive and see 529 00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:31,200 Speaker 4: and interact with everything in life. And so it's a 530 00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:35,080 Speaker 4: really robust and really important tool to help you understand 531 00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:37,280 Speaker 4: who you are. And one of the things I've done 532 00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:39,280 Speaker 4: with this book is try to really ground it in 533 00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:43,920 Speaker 4: both the most the latest research in neurobiology and childhood 534 00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:48,960 Speaker 4: developmental psychology, so it's it's got really robust scientific validation 535 00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:51,760 Speaker 4: these days. It used to be a little woo woo, 536 00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:52,880 Speaker 4: but it's not that anymore. 537 00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:53,520 Speaker 3: Yeah. 538 00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:55,919 Speaker 1: Well one of the things too, I guess if someone 539 00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:58,800 Speaker 1: is really first beginning with their personal finances, they might say, 540 00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:01,280 Speaker 1: I got to start tracking my right, that's an important part. 541 00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:03,080 Speaker 1: I got to make sure I save up that initial 542 00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:05,320 Speaker 1: emergency fund. I should probably look into kind of my 543 00:27:05,359 --> 00:27:08,359 Speaker 1: credit score and the importance of that and how that 544 00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:11,080 Speaker 1: impacts like the whole rest of my financial life. And 545 00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:15,000 Speaker 1: you you basically say, actually understanding your enneagram type ranks 546 00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:18,199 Speaker 1: up there at least with some of those things. Why 547 00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:20,639 Speaker 1: do you think it's so powerful for people who want 548 00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:22,360 Speaker 1: to handle money better? Why do they need to dig 549 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:25,679 Speaker 1: into kind of some of that personal personality stuff. 550 00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:28,960 Speaker 4: Yeah, because what the anagram will tell you is what 551 00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:32,919 Speaker 4: your deepest unconscious fear is, Like, what's the thing that 552 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:35,200 Speaker 4: you're really most terrified of in life? 553 00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:38,159 Speaker 3: Because that was not like sharks or anything like that, right. 554 00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:40,960 Speaker 4: Well, it could be see, it could be I mean that, 555 00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:44,119 Speaker 4: but there's a there's something deeper down down even below 556 00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:46,000 Speaker 4: the sharks. If you if you, if you get, if 557 00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:47,520 Speaker 4: you really get into its. 558 00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:49,119 Speaker 3: Keep peeling back the layers and keep pulling. 559 00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:51,960 Speaker 4: Back the layers. So so each each of these archetypes 560 00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:57,360 Speaker 4: of personality, the anagram is running off of, well here, 561 00:27:57,400 --> 00:27:59,280 Speaker 4: here's a way of thinking about it. If I could 562 00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:02,159 Speaker 4: go a little deep. We're into it with you. So 563 00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:04,879 Speaker 4: you have to imagine, like what it was like in 564 00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:07,440 Speaker 4: your in the in the womb when you were when 565 00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:11,800 Speaker 4: your consciousness first flickered on. And my hypothesis with the 566 00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:14,240 Speaker 4: enneagram is that you were probably in a state of 567 00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:19,719 Speaker 4: unconscious unity, meaning you were one with your environment and 568 00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:22,440 Speaker 4: you were but you were, but you were unconscious. You 569 00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:24,960 Speaker 4: didn't have a clear sense of what's me and what's 570 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:27,520 Speaker 4: not me. You're just kind of floating in this oceanic 571 00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:30,960 Speaker 4: bliss of oneness in your mother's womb. And then eventually 572 00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:33,440 Speaker 4: you get born, you get popped out, and it's like surprise, 573 00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:39,080 Speaker 4: there's more to reality than just you suddenly, and then 574 00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:43,320 Speaker 4: there's a physical umbilical cord that gets cut, obviously, and 575 00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:47,520 Speaker 4: you're physically separated from your mother, but instantly there's a 576 00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:52,400 Speaker 4: psychological umbilical cord that forms between you and your caregivers. 577 00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:57,480 Speaker 4: Because you developed this egoic codependence on your caregivers immediately 578 00:28:57,480 --> 00:29:00,000 Speaker 4: at birth, and because they have to do almost all 579 00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:02,080 Speaker 4: all of the driving of life for you for the 580 00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:06,240 Speaker 4: first several years of your existence. So they're essentially, you know, 581 00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:09,480 Speaker 4: driving you around in reality, keeping you safe, from protecting 582 00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:11,160 Speaker 4: you and telling you what to do and what not 583 00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:14,960 Speaker 4: to do. Right because you don't have a reality, you're 584 00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:16,880 Speaker 4: still trying to figure out what this reality thing is. 585 00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:21,840 Speaker 4: But over time, that psychological umbilical cord has to be 586 00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:25,440 Speaker 4: cut in order for you to have an individuated sense 587 00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:28,000 Speaker 4: of self, in order for you to have a unique 588 00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:32,920 Speaker 4: distinct identity from your caregivers, from your siblings, from your 589 00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:35,800 Speaker 4: all of the rest of reality. And so that psychological 590 00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:40,160 Speaker 4: umbilical cord has to get cut over time, and it 591 00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:44,680 Speaker 4: has to be cut with sharp negative emotions, because positive 592 00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:48,520 Speaker 4: emotions will just reinforce your connection to your caregivers. And 593 00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:50,640 Speaker 4: so what the enneagram tells us is that there's we 594 00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:53,880 Speaker 4: know from them the neurobiology, and that in all mammals 595 00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:58,440 Speaker 4: there's really three core negative emotions and they reside in 596 00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:01,120 Speaker 4: the in the mid limbic re of the brain for 597 00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:05,280 Speaker 4: all mammals, and all other negative emotions are some combination 598 00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:08,720 Speaker 4: of these big three negative emotions, and the big three 599 00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:15,040 Speaker 4: are anger, sadness, and fear. So anger sadness, and fear 600 00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:18,800 Speaker 4: are the sharpest emotional lives, and your anagram type is 601 00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:24,400 Speaker 4: determined by which of those three emotions you experienced more 602 00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:27,800 Speaker 4: of in your childhood. Where did you experience more anger 603 00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:31,320 Speaker 4: or sadness and some of them shame is another term 604 00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:33,320 Speaker 4: we use for sadness in the anagram, and that's fine 605 00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:36,720 Speaker 4: or was it fear? And so which of those emotional 606 00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:40,200 Speaker 4: lives did the cutting of that psychological umbilical cord? And 607 00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:42,800 Speaker 4: that gives us what we call the three triads of 608 00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:45,760 Speaker 4: the anagram. So this this color wheel we've got, you 609 00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:50,920 Speaker 4: can break it into three sections or three quadrants, and 610 00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:54,479 Speaker 4: then each of those three triads, those quadrants can now 611 00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:57,600 Speaker 4: be broken down into three subsets. That's what gives the 612 00:30:57,720 --> 00:31:01,560 Speaker 4: nine types. Because there's three core negative of emotions that anger, sadness, 613 00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:04,680 Speaker 4: for fear, and then there's three ways you could process 614 00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:09,480 Speaker 4: that negative emotion. You could externalize it. Let's say we're 615 00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:11,640 Speaker 4: dealing with the anger. You could take that anger and 616 00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:14,360 Speaker 4: you could externalize it, and that's like having a food 617 00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:17,040 Speaker 4: fight with the world, and that would call it what 618 00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:19,160 Speaker 4: we call that the type eight, which is the challenger 619 00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:23,360 Speaker 4: and they hate, hate being harmed or controlled and so 620 00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:27,040 Speaker 4: that's I call them the hummer of egos. Or you 621 00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:29,520 Speaker 4: can take that anger and you can internalize it and 622 00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:32,800 Speaker 4: you get a type one, call them the improver or 623 00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:36,160 Speaker 4: the BMW of egos. And their greatest fear is being 624 00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:39,240 Speaker 4: bad or defective. So they're always trying to improve themselves 625 00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:42,080 Speaker 4: or improve the world around them, and they can, you know, 626 00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:43,640 Speaker 4: and they're very good at that, and they can also 627 00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:46,120 Speaker 4: be you know, we all of us have our quirks 628 00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:48,040 Speaker 4: and can be annoying when we go when we get 629 00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:51,160 Speaker 4: too deep into our unhealthy parts of our type. So 630 00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:54,200 Speaker 4: that's but then there's a third option here is which 631 00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:56,640 Speaker 4: you can have both. You can both internalize that anger 632 00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:59,840 Speaker 4: and externalize that anger, and that gives us the type nine, 633 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:02,080 Speaker 4: which is called a peacemaker, or I call them the 634 00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:05,720 Speaker 4: r V of egos, meaning their their greatest fear is 635 00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:09,080 Speaker 4: a loss of wholeness from conflict. So Titanis are sitting 636 00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:11,600 Speaker 4: on so much repressed anger. They've got this internalized anger 637 00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:14,400 Speaker 4: themselves for not being able to meet their needs as 638 00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:16,720 Speaker 4: a child, and they've got this externalized anger at the 639 00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:18,880 Speaker 4: world for not meeting their needs well either, and so 640 00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:22,560 Speaker 4: they want everything around them as peaceful as possible because 641 00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:25,680 Speaker 4: they're they're terrified of a loss of wholeness, of the 642 00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:29,120 Speaker 4: anger ever came roaring out. And so that's just that's 643 00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:31,560 Speaker 4: just a quick I'll stop there. But yeah, it kind 644 00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:33,440 Speaker 4: of gives you a sense of how the enneagram works, 645 00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:36,320 Speaker 4: how it forms, and what your greatest fear is. And 646 00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:38,440 Speaker 4: then and then we can really we can relate it 647 00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:39,480 Speaker 4: to money here in a second. 648 00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:43,520 Speaker 1: So the goal of recognizing that, right see, is essentially 649 00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:46,400 Speaker 1: shining a light on ourselves, how we take how we 650 00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:49,800 Speaker 1: function that maybe we go through life more unaware of 651 00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:54,160 Speaker 1: typically and because we haven't done the introspection, we we 652 00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:55,920 Speaker 1: don't really know why we do some of the things 653 00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:58,520 Speaker 1: that we do. And once we dig a little deeper 654 00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:01,600 Speaker 1: into the why behind how we work, that's that's gonna 655 00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:03,080 Speaker 1: reveal some stuff to us. It's going to help us 656 00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:04,120 Speaker 1: get better with our finances. 657 00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:06,880 Speaker 4: Absolutely. And then and then what I've done with the 658 00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:09,520 Speaker 4: with the anagram is I've so I've taken the anagram, 659 00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:12,640 Speaker 4: I've layered on top of it what I call the 660 00:33:12,720 --> 00:33:16,280 Speaker 4: attachment theory of money. Now, the attachment theory of money 661 00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:19,479 Speaker 4: is very similar to the attachment theory of relationships. It's 662 00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:21,680 Speaker 4: almost identical to it. Just apply to money if those 663 00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:23,840 Speaker 4: of you you're listeners who might be familiar with it. 664 00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:26,240 Speaker 4: But but what the attachment theory of money says is 665 00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:30,360 Speaker 4: that there's there's two unhealthy ways that we can relate 666 00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:34,240 Speaker 4: to money, which is we can be anxiously attached to it, 667 00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:37,160 Speaker 4: which is like the Ebenezer Scrooge or the Gordon get 668 00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:40,200 Speaker 4: Goes of the world right. Or we can be avoidant 669 00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:42,200 Speaker 4: of money. We can push it away like I did 670 00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:44,880 Speaker 4: as when I was younger, people who are fearful of it, 671 00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:48,560 Speaker 4: who who hate opening their bills or doing their budget, 672 00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:50,960 Speaker 4: or just the world of finance scares them too much. 673 00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:55,080 Speaker 4: And so you can be anxious or avoidant. And then 674 00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:57,920 Speaker 4: that gives us two money monsters for each of the 675 00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:02,960 Speaker 4: nine enneagram types and so and then also going back, 676 00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:05,080 Speaker 4: if we could just do those four pillars of finance 677 00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:09,800 Speaker 4: which we talked about earlier in the show, which was earning, saving, investing, 678 00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:12,880 Speaker 4: and giving. Now you can be anxious or avoidant in 679 00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:15,480 Speaker 4: different areas of your financial life. You might be an 680 00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:19,279 Speaker 4: anxious earner and savior an investor but an avoidant giver. 681 00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:22,720 Speaker 4: Or you could be an anxious earner but a terrible 682 00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:28,160 Speaker 4: saver of if you spend avoid saving. So the system 683 00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:31,480 Speaker 4: of the inteagram, combined with the attachment fear of money, 684 00:34:31,680 --> 00:34:35,120 Speaker 4: really dives deep into where you're likely to be struggling 685 00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:38,719 Speaker 4: in your financial life why and then offering people the 686 00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:40,400 Speaker 4: tools to overcome those problems. 687 00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:43,320 Speaker 2: Is there a something that determines whether or not someone 688 00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:46,680 Speaker 2: takes a more anxious approach or a more avoidant approach, 689 00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:49,480 Speaker 2: Because as I was reading your book that like there 690 00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:52,400 Speaker 2: was I saw myself in both of those behaviors at 691 00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:55,600 Speaker 2: different points in my life, and sometimes like almost simultaneously 692 00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:58,839 Speaker 2: regarding the same task. Right, So, like you're talking about here, 693 00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:01,480 Speaker 2: going back to the four pillars, even when it comes 694 00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:05,000 Speaker 2: to let's just like choose one like saving, like I've 695 00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:07,760 Speaker 2: seen at different points in my life, a more anxious 696 00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:12,279 Speaker 2: approach whilst simultaneously somewhat beating being avoidant when it comes 697 00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:15,520 Speaker 2: to I'm just thinking of like certain bills or something 698 00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:17,520 Speaker 2: like that. There have been times where I am very 699 00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:19,880 Speaker 2: on top of it. And this isn't to like turn this. 700 00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:22,680 Speaker 2: It's not like Matt any agraam time. But oh come on, 701 00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:24,960 Speaker 2: let's just some dissecting here. But I guess I'm curious 702 00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:27,560 Speaker 2: to hear your thoughts there, Doug. What is it that 703 00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:30,080 Speaker 2: causes someone to take a more anxious turn versus a 704 00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:32,680 Speaker 2: more avoidant turn where they were just ignoring it all together. 705 00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:36,000 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a hard question to answer. I can only guess, 706 00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:37,600 Speaker 4: and I would just say it probably has to do 707 00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:39,960 Speaker 4: with childhood. Most of the stuff goes back to childhood issues, 708 00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:42,839 Speaker 4: like you know what kind of childhood traumas you might 709 00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:45,799 Speaker 4: have had as a kid around money, the emotions, the 710 00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:48,520 Speaker 4: positive or negative emotions that come up for you around it. 711 00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:50,960 Speaker 4: If you if you grew up in a really some 712 00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:53,080 Speaker 4: people who grew up in a lot of scarcity and 713 00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:57,360 Speaker 4: your poverty or tend to be more anxious about money. 714 00:35:57,560 --> 00:36:00,760 Speaker 4: It's an oversimplifying. It's a really complicated question, no right answer, 715 00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:02,759 Speaker 4: But the simple asses probably just goes back to your 716 00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:06,759 Speaker 4: child and it's it's for whatever reason it's triggering either 717 00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:10,120 Speaker 4: an anxious or avoidant emotion around the money, depending on 718 00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:12,960 Speaker 4: the context. And we and we could be jumbled in 719 00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,480 Speaker 4: our style, right we most of us are not all 720 00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:18,000 Speaker 4: anxious or all avoidant. We we tend to be jumbled. 721 00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:21,080 Speaker 4: We're anxious in one area and avoid in another. And 722 00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:22,960 Speaker 4: we can flip back and forth depending on the time 723 00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:24,399 Speaker 4: of day or or a mood. 724 00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:27,800 Speaker 2: Okay, so you're not necessarily like locked into one type 725 00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:32,799 Speaker 2: of no process. Okay, yeah, dogs right, but you're gonna 726 00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:32,920 Speaker 2: have a. 727 00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:35,640 Speaker 4: Pattern if you will see tend to see a pattern though. 728 00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:38,160 Speaker 1: Okay, okay. So so it's interesting. My wife's been studying 729 00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:41,200 Speaker 1: the aneagram much longer and in more in depth than 730 00:36:41,239 --> 00:36:44,200 Speaker 1: I have. I have. I have like peripherably scanned some 731 00:36:44,239 --> 00:36:47,960 Speaker 1: of the materials, including your book, Doug, but I pretty 732 00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:52,080 Speaker 1: instinctively knew almost seven like that to me resonated really 733 00:36:52,160 --> 00:36:55,239 Speaker 1: quickly when I read about that personality type of the 734 00:36:55,239 --> 00:36:58,520 Speaker 1: anagram and one of the lines let's let's maybe we'll 735 00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:02,719 Speaker 1: turn these so one of the lines in your book 736 00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:06,520 Speaker 1: in that section you say money anxious sevens treat budgets 737 00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:09,279 Speaker 1: as fun sucking vampires and will often work to have 738 00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:11,319 Speaker 1: enough money so they don't need to worry about a 739 00:37:11,320 --> 00:37:13,879 Speaker 1: detailed budget. And I was like, I feel seen right now, 740 00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:15,920 Speaker 1: Doug knows me. 741 00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,279 Speaker 2: No, je a budget is a permission slip that gives you. 742 00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:20,480 Speaker 2: I know, it's a hall pass to allow. 743 00:37:20,239 --> 00:37:20,760 Speaker 3: You to spend. 744 00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:23,360 Speaker 1: You're right, like, I see the wisdom in that, but 745 00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:27,239 Speaker 1: I also see my own intuitive response, which is I 746 00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:29,759 Speaker 1: don't like the details. I like to fly by the 747 00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:32,279 Speaker 1: seat of my pants, and so what allows me to 748 00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:35,879 Speaker 1: do that is to have enough savings to where when 749 00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:38,359 Speaker 1: stuff flies at me in the face, like I don't 750 00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:42,080 Speaker 1: get nearly as anxious or fearful if I have done that, 751 00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:44,560 Speaker 1: or even just about an expense. So I'm just excited 752 00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:46,640 Speaker 1: about and I'm like, this is more than I assumed 753 00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:48,240 Speaker 1: I would spend, But I've got the money in savings 754 00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:50,120 Speaker 1: to back me up, so it's okay. So I guess 755 00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:52,360 Speaker 1: I don't know what would your suggestion be for someone 756 00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:55,359 Speaker 1: like me who tends to use savings as a way 757 00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:58,319 Speaker 1: to maybe avoid some of that money hygiene I should 758 00:37:58,320 --> 00:37:58,880 Speaker 1: be practicing. 759 00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:02,080 Speaker 4: The first thing is just to be aware of it now, 760 00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:05,400 Speaker 4: you know, So what are you to do about it? 761 00:38:05,440 --> 00:38:07,719 Speaker 4: Like it's up to you to figure out, you know, 762 00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:10,120 Speaker 4: how you want to be able to you know, if 763 00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:12,799 Speaker 4: it's working for you, then it's working for you. Like 764 00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:17,360 Speaker 4: you know, you don't need to become a different person 765 00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:20,120 Speaker 4: or other than you are. But if that's how you 766 00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:26,160 Speaker 4: want to roll, if it's working, then great, I think 767 00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:29,120 Speaker 4: that's fantastic. If you want to If you think you 768 00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:33,239 Speaker 4: could do better, and you think that there's a more 769 00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:36,359 Speaker 4: robust way forward for you to have a healthier financial life, 770 00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:40,120 Speaker 4: then okay, well then maybe just try baby steps like 771 00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:42,959 Speaker 4: what's uh, what's one thing you could do that each 772 00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:45,680 Speaker 4: week that would that would sort of resolve that issue 773 00:38:45,719 --> 00:38:49,560 Speaker 4: for you. But again, you don't have to be someone 774 00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:51,160 Speaker 4: when you're not. You just need to be able to 775 00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:55,520 Speaker 4: work around the own your weaknesses and own your strengths 776 00:38:55,640 --> 00:38:59,080 Speaker 4: and and try to minimize the weaknesses and maximize the strengths. 777 00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:02,160 Speaker 2: Nice, Doug, we got more to get to. We're gonna 778 00:39:02,239 --> 00:39:04,799 Speaker 2: I've got another Enneagram question for you. We got more 779 00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:05,919 Speaker 2: to get to here with you. 780 00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:16,640 Speaker 1: Right after this, we're back still talking with Doug Lineham, 781 00:39:16,719 --> 00:39:20,920 Speaker 1: who former monk now manages money and really helps other people, 782 00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:24,520 Speaker 1: especially with this new book, figure out, Hey, what's going on? 783 00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:25,239 Speaker 3: Who are you? 784 00:39:25,360 --> 00:39:27,839 Speaker 1: How do you handle money? What are the ways that 785 00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:32,120 Speaker 1: your personality is biased towards handling money so then you 786 00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:34,440 Speaker 1: can shine a light on it and make some changes 787 00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:39,759 Speaker 1: to improve your finances over time. I'm curious to Doug, 788 00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:42,160 Speaker 1: especially coming from the monk perspective. You talk about the 789 00:39:42,239 --> 00:39:47,560 Speaker 1: mindful practice of managing money, and you kind of seem 790 00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:50,040 Speaker 1: to link money habits to religious practice. Do you think 791 00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:53,080 Speaker 1: there's overlap there and is there something we can maybe 792 00:39:53,239 --> 00:39:57,880 Speaker 1: learn from some of the tenants of classic religious practice 793 00:39:57,920 --> 00:39:59,240 Speaker 1: that can help us with our finances. 794 00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:02,399 Speaker 4: That's a big question. My brain just sort of short 795 00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:05,759 Speaker 4: circuited on that question, such a big one. Well, you know, 796 00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:09,319 Speaker 4: traditional we're just practices. What they're doing is they're giving 797 00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:12,719 Speaker 4: you a structure that allows you to live a healthier 798 00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:16,640 Speaker 4: and happier and more loving and compassionate life. And so 799 00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:21,480 Speaker 4: when you bring that in alignment with your financial life, 800 00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:24,000 Speaker 4: when you bring those two things in harmony, now you 801 00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:26,279 Speaker 4: have like, as we talked about at the beginning the show, 802 00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:30,759 Speaker 4: you have this this super money is like your superhero 803 00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:33,920 Speaker 4: utility belt. If you use it right, that allows you 804 00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:36,080 Speaker 4: to do an awful lot of good in the world. 805 00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:40,640 Speaker 4: And so it has to be wedded to a spiritual 806 00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:43,799 Speaker 4: practice or else it's going to be used in the 807 00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:47,440 Speaker 4: most it's just inevitably going to be used in an 808 00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:50,760 Speaker 4: abusive and harmful and selfish and self centered and greedy 809 00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:55,120 Speaker 4: and narcissistic and you know, jerky ways, you know. And 810 00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:59,680 Speaker 4: so without a spiritual practice, everything in your life is 811 00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:03,480 Speaker 4: probably going to be very, very challenging, but especially how 812 00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:06,239 Speaker 4: you're relating to money and how you're using it and 813 00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:09,200 Speaker 4: how you're earning it, and how are you living an 814 00:41:09,239 --> 00:41:12,600 Speaker 4: ethical life. It really can't live a deeply ethical life. 815 00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:15,399 Speaker 4: I don't think if you aren't bringing your spirituality into 816 00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:17,440 Speaker 4: how you earn, how you save, how you invest, and 817 00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:22,080 Speaker 4: how you give. So is there a particular like rule 818 00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:26,440 Speaker 4: that from a particular religion. I don't think I could 819 00:41:26,719 --> 00:41:28,640 Speaker 4: come up with that in my head on the spot, 820 00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:31,880 Speaker 4: but I do think it's essential that you have a 821 00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:32,960 Speaker 4: spiritual practice. 822 00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:35,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm sure there are some people listening right now 823 00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:38,120 Speaker 1: and they're like, it's I mean, they think it's interesting, 824 00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:41,239 Speaker 1: they're curious about your story, but they're also like, either 825 00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:43,480 Speaker 1: I went to church and I was burned, or I 826 00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:47,719 Speaker 1: haven't been to church. I'm not interested. And they've also seen, 827 00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:51,120 Speaker 1: of course some hypocrisy or injustice done by the church. 828 00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:54,920 Speaker 1: Inst they're saying, well, religious practice, and I think I 829 00:41:54,920 --> 00:41:57,279 Speaker 1: can keep those separately and do pretty fine with my finances. 830 00:41:57,920 --> 00:42:00,319 Speaker 1: What would you say to someone like that, like, Hey, 831 00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:01,960 Speaker 1: do you actually need a spiritual life or are there 832 00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:05,319 Speaker 1: things that you can glean from spiritual practice without practicing 833 00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:07,680 Speaker 1: spirit anything spiritual yourself. 834 00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:10,080 Speaker 4: Well, I mean, I want to respect people who have 835 00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:13,760 Speaker 4: been burned by traditional religions and might suggesting that everyone 836 00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:15,920 Speaker 4: needs to go out and join the church or on 837 00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:18,960 Speaker 4: the street corner of the street. But I see, I 838 00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:22,520 Speaker 4: know lots of people who are very spiritual, people fall 839 00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:25,520 Speaker 4: into the spiritual but not religious category, people who have 840 00:42:25,640 --> 00:42:29,799 Speaker 4: a spiritual practice but maybe aren't doing it in a 841 00:42:29,840 --> 00:42:33,239 Speaker 4: traditional way. I think that's wonderful as well as long. 842 00:42:33,480 --> 00:42:36,480 Speaker 4: But I mean, obviously you can do just find in 843 00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:39,240 Speaker 4: your finances without without a spiritual practice. 844 00:42:39,280 --> 00:42:40,319 Speaker 3: You don't have to have it. 845 00:42:40,640 --> 00:42:42,760 Speaker 4: But I think if you want to be happy in life, 846 00:42:43,080 --> 00:42:46,680 Speaker 4: it's about being connected to community. It's about being connected 847 00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:50,120 Speaker 4: to your sense of the divine and God in whatever faith, 848 00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:53,320 Speaker 4: tradition that whatever that looks like for you. But essentially, 849 00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:57,000 Speaker 4: I think it's really about how do you have community 850 00:42:57,239 --> 00:43:00,440 Speaker 4: and how do you have how do you find love 851 00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:04,239 Speaker 4: and service in the world, Like what does that look 852 00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:08,120 Speaker 4: like for you? And I just would suggest that that's 853 00:43:08,120 --> 00:43:11,400 Speaker 4: something that we all want and long for it. I 854 00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:14,640 Speaker 4: think it would be fully happy and complete as human beings. 855 00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:16,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, I believe it. 856 00:43:16,239 --> 00:43:19,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, Okay, going back to I guess the anagram for 857 00:43:19,080 --> 00:43:22,640 Speaker 2: a second, I'm I'm wondering if you think that there 858 00:43:22,719 --> 00:43:25,880 Speaker 2: are a type, like different types of anagrams that we 859 00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:27,880 Speaker 2: tend to see more in the world. Like you you 860 00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:30,440 Speaker 2: mentioned it almost as like a color wheel, and I 861 00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:32,440 Speaker 2: like you think about colors in the world and then 862 00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:34,360 Speaker 2: like if you zoom out enough, like the earth is 863 00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:37,279 Speaker 2: blue right, like like the blue marble right like out 864 00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:39,480 Speaker 2: out there floating out in space. Sure, is there a 865 00:43:39,480 --> 00:43:42,359 Speaker 2: type of vineagram number that you tend to see over 866 00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:44,759 Speaker 2: and over in your life? Maybe I don't know, that 867 00:43:44,800 --> 00:43:47,800 Speaker 2: might be helpful for folks to hear you maybe quickly summarize. 868 00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:50,520 Speaker 4: I mean, there are some types that are lots common, 869 00:43:50,680 --> 00:43:53,760 Speaker 4: like type fives are maybe one of the least common types. 870 00:43:54,160 --> 00:43:57,239 Speaker 4: But other than that, it's it's kind of I don't 871 00:43:57,280 --> 00:43:59,560 Speaker 4: know the exact statistics on it, but it is a 872 00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:04,200 Speaker 4: pretty it's pretty evenly spread. There isn't one type that's 873 00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:07,400 Speaker 4: more common than other types. I think statistically, you know, 874 00:44:07,440 --> 00:44:10,960 Speaker 4: it's around seven to twelve percent of the population is 875 00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:11,839 Speaker 4: one type or the other. 876 00:44:12,440 --> 00:44:14,200 Speaker 3: I think that's that's the rough Yeah. 877 00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:16,279 Speaker 1: So for someone who's listening and they're like, oh, I 878 00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:18,360 Speaker 1: took the Myers Briggs back in the day. Maybe that 879 00:44:18,480 --> 00:44:21,200 Speaker 1: shed a little bit of light on on on who I, 880 00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:24,680 Speaker 1: how I think about myself, and how I understand the 881 00:44:24,719 --> 00:44:27,560 Speaker 1: personality that I have. What would you tell them, like, 882 00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:29,840 Speaker 1: is there a good place to get started to figure 883 00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:32,879 Speaker 1: out what their aneagram number is, because especially if it's 884 00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:35,359 Speaker 1: so revelatory and it's going to help us understand how 885 00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:37,759 Speaker 1: we tick so that we can then understand why we're 886 00:44:37,840 --> 00:44:39,719 Speaker 1: using money in the way that we are. Where's a 887 00:44:39,719 --> 00:44:42,760 Speaker 1: good place to figure out, well, what the anagram number 888 00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:45,719 Speaker 1: we are and find out some more details. Obviously your 889 00:44:45,719 --> 00:44:47,160 Speaker 1: book would be a place to kind of do some 890 00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:48,359 Speaker 1: digging on that and anything else. 891 00:44:48,520 --> 00:44:52,040 Speaker 4: Yeah. So I have a licensing deal with a company 892 00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:55,239 Speaker 4: called it's called i e Q nine and they have 893 00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:57,719 Speaker 4: an excellent anagram test and I can send you all. 894 00:44:58,160 --> 00:45:00,680 Speaker 4: I have a promo code and link. It's a great test. 895 00:45:00,719 --> 00:45:02,799 Speaker 4: And the reason I partnered with them is because it's 896 00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:06,080 Speaker 4: got the it's the most scientifically rigorous and accurate enneagram 897 00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:10,200 Speaker 4: test out there. There's lots of free ones, and they're 898 00:45:10,239 --> 00:45:14,920 Speaker 4: just not great. The free ones are maybe fifty percent accurate, which. 899 00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:18,440 Speaker 3: Is not great. It's accurate as a coin flip. 900 00:45:18,440 --> 00:45:20,399 Speaker 4: And this one is closer to like over nine ninety 901 00:45:20,440 --> 00:45:23,080 Speaker 4: five percent accurate and much more detailed, So it's worth 902 00:45:23,080 --> 00:45:24,520 Speaker 4: I think it's worth it to spend a few bucks 903 00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:25,640 Speaker 4: and do it right. 904 00:45:25,719 --> 00:45:27,640 Speaker 1: The free one told me I'm gonna tipe thirteen and 905 00:45:27,719 --> 00:45:29,280 Speaker 1: wait twenty second. How that happen? 906 00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:30,520 Speaker 4: Oh? 907 00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:32,480 Speaker 3: We appreciate you taking. 908 00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:34,360 Speaker 2: The time to chat with us, and I will definitely 909 00:45:34,360 --> 00:45:36,560 Speaker 2: link to your site. I know you've got that test 910 00:45:36,640 --> 00:45:39,279 Speaker 2: linked as well, and we'll make sure to include any 911 00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:43,000 Speaker 2: sort of promo codes that might help listeners get a discount. 912 00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:46,120 Speaker 2: But can you share your ur L with folks who 913 00:45:46,239 --> 00:45:48,239 Speaker 2: may not navigate over to our show notes where they 914 00:45:48,239 --> 00:45:48,799 Speaker 2: can find all that? 915 00:45:48,840 --> 00:45:53,240 Speaker 4: Sure? Just my name good Doug linum dot com. That's 916 00:45:53,719 --> 00:45:59,080 Speaker 4: l y n a M dot com, and you'll can 917 00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:01,600 Speaker 4: find perfect kinds of cool resources on my website. 918 00:46:01,680 --> 00:46:04,239 Speaker 1: Awesome, Doug, thanks for joining us today. We really appreciate it. 919 00:46:04,239 --> 00:46:05,600 Speaker 4: Thanks man, Joel, appreciate you guys. 920 00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:08,239 Speaker 2: All right, So, Joel, do you think that you need 921 00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:10,600 Speaker 2: to join a Benedictine monastery in order to find a 922 00:46:10,640 --> 00:46:11,240 Speaker 2: sense of purpose? 923 00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:12,480 Speaker 1: So do you feel like you've already got it? I'm 924 00:46:12,480 --> 00:46:15,920 Speaker 1: going to inform my wife this evening. Take a vow 925 00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:17,840 Speaker 1: of celibacy. I was going to say, she'll be devastated, 926 00:46:18,239 --> 00:46:20,760 Speaker 1: but she might not be. Who knows. If she's not devastated, 927 00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:21,399 Speaker 1: then I'll be really sad. 928 00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:23,759 Speaker 3: Dang it. I thought you'd be bummed out, babe. 929 00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:25,960 Speaker 1: So you're gonna try to get me today? No, okay, 930 00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:29,560 Speaker 1: uh okay, let's talk about big takeaways. Yes, yes, mine 931 00:46:29,920 --> 00:46:32,040 Speaker 1: was when he said part of his goal is to 932 00:46:32,080 --> 00:46:35,120 Speaker 1: help people avoid the unnecessary suffering of not having enough money. 933 00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:38,400 Speaker 3: That's the uh suffering prevention specialist. Yes, phrase that he 934 00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:40,279 Speaker 3: put out there, and that was so good. I love that. 935 00:46:40,360 --> 00:46:42,560 Speaker 1: I mean I think of that, never really boiled it 936 00:46:42,560 --> 00:46:43,960 Speaker 1: down to that before, but I really do think of 937 00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:46,600 Speaker 1: that as one of the major goals that drives what 938 00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:49,239 Speaker 1: we do. And it makes me think of somebody who 939 00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:51,960 Speaker 1: doesn't know how what a balanced diet looks like and 940 00:46:52,239 --> 00:46:54,640 Speaker 1: how that informs a healthy body. Right, And so they 941 00:46:54,680 --> 00:46:56,960 Speaker 1: might assume that, oh, it's just about the amount of 942 00:46:56,960 --> 00:46:59,600 Speaker 1: calories I in takeover a given day, and then they 943 00:46:59,719 --> 00:47:00,440 Speaker 1: make Donald's. 944 00:47:01,320 --> 00:47:03,239 Speaker 3: That used to actually be a plan weight watchers. It 945 00:47:03,239 --> 00:47:05,279 Speaker 3: doesn't matter, it's just the calories come from. 946 00:47:05,480 --> 00:47:07,520 Speaker 1: But come on, yeah, we all knew that was a 947 00:47:07,560 --> 00:47:09,200 Speaker 1: whole lot of a whole load of bunk, right, And 948 00:47:09,320 --> 00:47:11,839 Speaker 1: clearly you're not getting some of the really important things 949 00:47:11,880 --> 00:47:13,400 Speaker 1: that your body needs, and so you're probably not going 950 00:47:13,440 --> 00:47:15,520 Speaker 1: to feel nearly as good. You might try to go 951 00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:17,600 Speaker 1: for a run and like peter out pretty quickly because 952 00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:20,480 Speaker 1: you're just not providing your body the nutrients and resources 953 00:47:20,480 --> 00:47:22,000 Speaker 1: it needs to thrive. And I think the same thing 954 00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:24,600 Speaker 1: is true with money. You might assume think some things, 955 00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:26,319 Speaker 1: but then you don't know what you don't know. And 956 00:47:26,360 --> 00:47:29,759 Speaker 1: so I want to see people avoid unnecessary suffering on 957 00:47:29,800 --> 00:47:32,160 Speaker 1: the money front, and so much of that is kind 958 00:47:32,160 --> 00:47:37,520 Speaker 1: of just getting that baseline education that and even beyond 959 00:47:37,520 --> 00:47:39,759 Speaker 1: that kind of a greater understanding of yourself, like Doug 960 00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:43,760 Speaker 1: talked about on this episode. But man, I love that framework. 961 00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:47,799 Speaker 2: There's not enough introspection just to even understand yourself. So 962 00:47:48,040 --> 00:47:50,440 Speaker 2: I guess, kind of piggybacking off what you said, a 963 00:47:50,440 --> 00:47:53,760 Speaker 2: big part of preventing that suffering is it's an other. 964 00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:56,640 Speaker 3: Sort of focused approach to the world. And so my 965 00:47:56,760 --> 00:47:57,680 Speaker 3: big takeaway. 966 00:47:57,440 --> 00:48:00,480 Speaker 2: Is going to be how he was talking about, and 967 00:48:00,640 --> 00:48:02,880 Speaker 2: I'm putting within our framework, which is you can be frugal, 968 00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:05,960 Speaker 2: which he described as being prudent or you can be cheap, 969 00:48:06,040 --> 00:48:08,480 Speaker 2: which is a focus on avarice, and there's greed at 970 00:48:08,520 --> 00:48:11,040 Speaker 2: the heart of that, and what is that but a 971 00:48:11,120 --> 00:48:14,400 Speaker 2: lack of love towards whom, towards others, towards other people. 972 00:48:14,719 --> 00:48:17,399 Speaker 2: And so that just helps me to think through because 973 00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:19,760 Speaker 2: oftentimes we talk about something that's either frugal or cheap 974 00:48:19,800 --> 00:48:22,040 Speaker 2: here on the show, and I think when you are 975 00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:25,880 Speaker 2: thinking about yourself, it can be easy to maybe justify 976 00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:28,279 Speaker 2: something a purchase or an action, but when you start 977 00:48:28,320 --> 00:48:30,600 Speaker 2: thinking about others and how you treat the other people 978 00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:33,440 Speaker 2: and the the overall benefit that you're able to provide 979 00:48:33,440 --> 00:48:35,640 Speaker 2: those whether you're helping them when it comes to knowledge 980 00:48:35,680 --> 00:48:38,640 Speaker 2: and preventing them from suffering in a financial way, or 981 00:48:38,719 --> 00:48:40,920 Speaker 2: just the countless different actions that we can take in 982 00:48:40,920 --> 00:48:44,400 Speaker 2: our lives. I think that can help act as guardrails 983 00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:46,719 Speaker 2: in a sense, to guide some of our actions and 984 00:48:46,760 --> 00:48:49,759 Speaker 2: to ensure that we have this sense of unity and 985 00:48:49,840 --> 00:48:51,960 Speaker 2: harmony within our lives, which I feel like was just 986 00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:54,279 Speaker 2: like kind of a running theme throughout everything. He was saying, 987 00:48:54,320 --> 00:48:56,520 Speaker 2: like that's why he's talking about the enneagram because he 988 00:48:56,560 --> 00:48:59,640 Speaker 2: wants us to have harmony, like internal harmony with our 989 00:49:00,040 --> 00:49:01,480 Speaker 2: when it comes to our actions and how it is 990 00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:03,680 Speaker 2: that we handle our money and how that aligns even 991 00:49:03,680 --> 00:49:06,160 Speaker 2: with something as kind of high level as just our 992 00:49:06,239 --> 00:49:07,040 Speaker 2: our spiritual walks. 993 00:49:07,120 --> 00:49:10,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think too. Being cheap or being greedy is 994 00:49:10,480 --> 00:49:12,400 Speaker 1: often that sort of attitude of like I got to 995 00:49:12,440 --> 00:49:14,440 Speaker 1: secure my bag, I got to look out for number one, 996 00:49:14,920 --> 00:49:19,680 Speaker 1: which is potentially an American an American quality more so 997 00:49:19,719 --> 00:49:22,520 Speaker 1: than most places. Sure, but that is something certainly to 998 00:49:22,600 --> 00:49:27,000 Speaker 1: be pushed back against, I think, because that's that's not 999 00:49:27,080 --> 00:49:29,919 Speaker 1: a healthy habit and ultimately it's not going to lead 1000 00:49:29,960 --> 00:49:31,520 Speaker 1: to Yeah, well, it might lead to more money in 1001 00:49:31,520 --> 00:49:34,399 Speaker 1: the bank account. It also might not, like because you're 1002 00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:36,120 Speaker 1: not playing the long game. But at the same time, 1003 00:49:36,200 --> 00:49:38,439 Speaker 1: it certainly won't lead to we don't think greater levels 1004 00:49:38,440 --> 00:49:39,520 Speaker 1: of happiness totally. 1005 00:49:39,640 --> 00:49:41,640 Speaker 2: Our beer Joel that you and I enjoyed today was 1006 00:49:41,680 --> 00:49:45,399 Speaker 2: called an elaborate metaphor this is a New England pale ale. 1007 00:49:45,840 --> 00:49:46,760 Speaker 3: Oh, it's a pale. 1008 00:49:46,840 --> 00:49:50,400 Speaker 2: I didn't realize that it had very New England hazy. 1009 00:49:50,520 --> 00:49:52,160 Speaker 2: I pa it sortes going on. 1010 00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:52,759 Speaker 1: It's funny. 1011 00:49:52,760 --> 00:49:54,720 Speaker 2: I didn't know that this is by Burlington Beer Company. 1012 00:49:54,760 --> 00:49:56,640 Speaker 2: I didn't realize it was a pale either. I was 1013 00:49:56,800 --> 00:49:59,160 Speaker 2: gonna say it tastes like a session IPA. To me, 1014 00:49:59,400 --> 00:50:02,960 Speaker 2: it tastes very like light and it had this soft 1015 00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:06,319 Speaker 2: mouth feel, and so yeah, I thought, if you put 1016 00:50:06,360 --> 00:50:08,759 Speaker 2: it in that session IPA category, it's fantastic. Same with 1017 00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:10,600 Speaker 2: a pale ale, I think, and I don't, to be honest, 1018 00:50:10,600 --> 00:50:12,319 Speaker 2: what's the difference between session ip and a pale They're 1019 00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:15,319 Speaker 2: pretty pretty much the earliest anonymous Yeah, yeah, but this 1020 00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:18,040 Speaker 2: I thought this was not like a mind blowingly good beer, 1021 00:50:18,120 --> 00:50:20,279 Speaker 2: but especially given kind of thing that I know, it's 1022 00:50:20,280 --> 00:50:23,120 Speaker 2: a pale, it's really really tasty. It kind of like jumped, 1023 00:50:23,360 --> 00:50:25,160 Speaker 2: like leapfrogged a little bit because it's like, oh, this 1024 00:50:25,200 --> 00:50:26,759 Speaker 2: is a pretty good IPA, but actually, no, this is 1025 00:50:26,760 --> 00:50:29,120 Speaker 2: not an IPA. This is a fantastic pal al in 1026 00:50:29,120 --> 00:50:31,279 Speaker 2: my opinion, because it's got all the complexities and the 1027 00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:33,120 Speaker 2: nuance and the flavor profile and the hops that you 1028 00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:35,880 Speaker 2: expect with a hazy but just a lighter, easier to 1029 00:50:35,960 --> 00:50:39,040 Speaker 2: drink version of that. So I'm like in the moment 1030 00:50:39,200 --> 00:50:42,520 Speaker 2: changing my rating of this beer from from like a. 1031 00:50:42,480 --> 00:50:44,520 Speaker 3: Three seven five to like a four and a quarter. 1032 00:50:44,920 --> 00:50:47,279 Speaker 1: If I were to rate this screen, if you're rating 1033 00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:50,640 Speaker 1: it against other pale ales, it stands out. Yeah, absolutely, 1034 00:50:50,640 --> 00:50:52,520 Speaker 1: all right, that's gonna do it. For this episode, we'll 1035 00:50:52,560 --> 00:50:55,040 Speaker 1: link to some of the resources we mentioned up in 1036 00:50:55,080 --> 00:50:57,200 Speaker 1: the show notes on our website at howtomoney dot com. 1037 00:50:57,280 --> 00:51:00,720 Speaker 1: Until next time, best friends out and best Friends 1038 00:51:04,520 --> 00:51:05,000 Speaker 4: BEFO.